#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.
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Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.
#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself#helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating#there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest#<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait#🥀🍷 — colloquy.
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Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they’d react if you told them you’ve never dated anyone before
Headcanons about our baby girls :3 “Never dated” also refers to no romantic experience whatsoever. The Farmer is gender neutral, for Harvey’s it could be read as afab but I leave that up to your imagination
Content warning: mild nsfw
Sam:
-he doesn’t care because same LMFAO
-admittedly, he feels more comfortable with that piece of knowledge as he doesn’t feel as pressured to do everything right
-“wow, Farmer, really?! I wouldn’t have guessed, but me neither! B-but don’t worry, we will handle this together. This will be so much fun!”
-he’s excited to explore this new chapter of your life together…with lots of kissies
-can’t believe he is the first person to call you his’ and feels extremely flattered by it. He won’t shut up about it when he’s with Abi and Seb
-the smexy time with him will be a blast though. He’s maybe not the most skilled lover, but his enthusiasm makes up for all of it. He helps you relax and take it light. Be prepared for lots of praise and absent-minded filth coming from his mouth
Sebastian:
-homeboy really doesn’t give a shit tbh, he doesn’t even give you a big reaction
-we both know he hasn’t dated before either, but it’s nothing of his concern either
-“…ok, that’s cool…(?)” *proceeds playing games on his console”
-though you don’t have any reference points, he’s still trying to be the best boyfriend he can be for you because you deserve it (he won’t say that though)
-what can I say, he’s pretty indifferent 🤷🏼♀️
-about intimate business though…he has no clue what to do and wished at least you knew, but you both make it work. The first time is a bit too gentle, but that will change once you get the hang of it. It’s nerve-wrecking to him but he’s also excited to learn all these new things with you and make you feel good
Harvey:
-Harvey wouldn’t mind either way, he knows you’re an adult and that you can choose to live your life however you want to with whoever
-buuuut, unlike with the others, it makes him even more anxious that he is your first partner and wants to make everything right.
-“I’m not the most exciting guy, but I’ll try my best to make this relationship perfect for you, because you deserve nothing but the best.”
-His last relationship was years ago, so this feels new to him as well. He takes things slow with you, especially since he’s very shy and needs to ease into things as well. Everything being new to you makes him feel young again
-feels guilty for going further with you too as he doesn’t want to mess things up. He knows how painful and uncomfortable it can be and wants you to remember it fondly, peppering you with lots of kisses, soft touches, hand holding and prep work
-overall, he’s the best first boyfriend you could ever wish for. He’s caring, polite and cute :3
Elliott:
-ma man, ma boy, he has waited for this moment
-Elliott is a notorious romantic, of course he will take this opportunity to make your time with him the most special experience of your entire life
-“It will be a pleasure to show you the world through rose-coloured glasses, my love. *kisses your hand all so gently*. So you won’t ever forget that you are the light of my life, that you are loved.”
-not that he wouldn’t wanna do that if you had dated anyone before, but he goes along with things differently depending on your experience
-if you’re new to this, he will take it slow. The last he wants is to push you to do things you’re not comfortable with
-he’s a very romantic man, but that also encapsulates that he’s a very sexual man ( not in a creepy perv way of course, just very passionate about the whole gist of being intimate). But he waits with that for a LOOOONG time before he plans a romantic bedroom date with a hot bath, rose petals and body oils if he knows it’s your first relationship
-a lot of rom-com-esque adventures await you with this fine gentleman, and the build up to the big night will be worth the patience ;)
Shane:
-Quite frankly? He’s flustered the house lol
-I’m talking big rosy blush across his face and big eyes
-like, you chose HIM to be your first? Really?!
-he always thought highly of you, but now he has to reconsider how smart you could possibly be when you want him to be your first relationship
-“Uh, wow…a-and you’re sure you want to make this experience with me ?! Of all people?!”
-He has had many meaningless hookups in the past, but relationships….oof they weren’t that deep, and he never cared about any of them like he cares about you.
-He tries his best. He’s not an anxious mess like Harv, but he still watches how he behaves around you because he doesn’t want to break your spirit regarding relationships…he doesn’t want you to feel the way he has felt about love and trust
-though he had some hookups, it’s been A WHILE K, so he has major anxiety around your first time together. As much as he’d love to devour you, his anxiety makes him avoid it for the longest time. He wants nothing but the best for you, and he still doesn’t think highly of himself, not to mention his chub. But at some point, he is able to let his guard down as he knows you wouldn’t judge him for something like that ever.
Alex:
-ALEX, my precious…well yeah he is stoked ngl LOL
-he is a whole jock jerk but that’s all a facade, so this piece of information makes him a little less anxious but the more excited to give it his all to make this a one-of-a-kind experience to you
-“wait, REALLY?! That’s aweso- I mean, that’s interesting. I can consider myself a lucky guy to be your first boyfriend. You won’t ever regret it, I promise 😉” *dies on the inside and wants nothing but to scream in excitement*
-BUT it also boosts his ego through the roof. He can’t believe he is the guy that made you want to go the next step, especially as no one else made you want to have a relationship before him
-He’s nothing but a good old-fashioned lover boy. Man grew up with his grandparents, one of them being Evelyn (my precious granny), so he has some manners and knows how to treat a lady (if you’re not a lady, he will treat you like one regardless because that’s all he knows lol)
-I’m sorry but…man’s horny, and though he wants to take things slow for your sake, he will take the first opportunity to take you to bed with him let’s b real. He will be gentle with you and tries his best to make it “first time friendly”, but it is very hard for him as he has dreamed about this since the first time you’ve met.
#stardew valley#sdv shane#sdv#sdv bachelors#shane stardew valley#stardew valley shane#stardew shane#shane sdv#sdv harvey#sebastian sdv#stardew sebastian#sam sdv#sdv sam#stardew sam#sdv Alex#Stardew Alex#Stardew Elliott#sdv Elliott#sdv headcanons#stardew valley headcanons
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What if Konig accidentally scared the reader?
Like they were having small disagreement when he raised his hand to touch his face - and the reader flinched at that?
I can imagine him getting flashbacks to his father and how he used to treat his mother. He would feel so bad :(. Like, 'Does she think I'll hurt her? Is she scared of me? What if I do end up like my father?' And have a mini breakdown.
But from the reader's POV, she wasn't really "scared" of him. She just saw movements from the corner of her eye, and her body reacted for her.
Sorry not sorry for the angst ‼️🥰
I’m going to answer these two together because they kind of interlap!
CW: sexism, toxic König, light angst, a dash of fluff
Ooh this kind of behavior would remind him of his mother and only amp up König’s protectiveness for sure! I can’t stress it enough that the more his woman needs him, the better König feels about himself. It’s his life’s purpose to take care of his companion (so much so that this caretaking gains manipulative, stalkish and possessive elements...)
Truth be told, he would view this kind of behavior as you being helpless. And helpless creatures draw him in. König very much has a thing for helpless women. Actually, he thinks it's only natural for a woman to behave like that! His motivation to shield, guard and protect is founded on the need to make himself feel strong and capable (or masculine, if you want to put it that way).
You're scared? He will protect and console you, whatever it is. The more jumpy you are, the more it fires up his protectiveness. This guy wants to be the hero who saves your day. He will do anything in his power to drive your fears away.
You're clingy? Boy, you just gave a starving dog a fat bone! The more clingy you are, the happier König is. (Then he can pretend it’s you who needs him and not the other way around.) It soothes him when you're needy and desperate for him and his company. He will always be there for you, don’t worry ❤️
You forget things and stuff? König will go and fetch that shirt you forgot, even if it's miles away. He will say you should go and rest for a while if you spilled some water on the counter. In fact, he orders you to go and sit down while he cleans it up. He doesn't normally do house chores and cleaning but hey – his woman has clearly just exerted herself so of course he'll help.
And about arguments: during an argument König would be quite calm, actually? He would rarely even raise his voice with you. He's simply that sure of himself and of knowing what's "best for you". You can have your little fits and he might entertain you by giving you what you want if it's something insignificant, but otherwise, he knows he will have the last say if you disagree on something major.
The only thing that would make König lose it with you is probably the cheating scenario discussed earlier... He would be so broken, it would fuck him up so completely that there would be no redemption for him anymore. His violence might bleed into this relationship and manifest as emotional abuse, perhaps verbal abuse, too. He would go outside occasionally to let out some steam (wreck something) but even then, he would not touch you in anger.
If you flinched as an involuntary reaction to his touch during whatever argument you were having... yes he would have a minor breakdown. Flashbacks to his abusive father: definitely. König would apologize if he has been too rough with you. He knows his size and that he’s violent as fuck.
He sometimes wants to squeeze you a little too hard, gives you bitemarks when you two are having sex, he wants to hear those helpless sounds you make when he’s inside you... He wants to own, no, possess you. But he doesn’t want to see you hurt or scared (well, that's what he tells himself, even if you might suffer from his controlling behavior). There's a tug of war inside him: between the need to protect those few he cares about and the need to just annihilate the whole world that has made him suffer.
The last thing König wants is to become a replica of his father. That’s why women get treated differently, like they’re delicate flowers (because König is in fact scared of himself and that he might hurt them), and that’s why his woman will be protected and sheltered and taken care of. At all costs. She will never suffer the same abuse his mother did.
(Yes, König will only, um. Abuse you differently? Aaargh!)
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I never lost him Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort ft. Steve Rodgers. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Chapter 1 2400 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Post TWS Steve realises that he's not the only one looking for Sargent Barnes. Reader is Tony’s sister, a non-enhanced shield agent who recently resurfaced.
“I don’t really know what you want me to say”
“Y/N” Tony says, exasperated, “I want you to say that you’ll be more careful”
“That’s a bit rich, comin’ from you”
Natasha scoffs at the young woman’s reply, quickly shrugging at Steve, who is positioned directly across from her in the quinn-jet.
“I” Stark continues, “Didn’t just ransack an entire underground base-“
“No, you were just waiting outside said base, with a shit-tone of explosives”
This time, Romanoff doesn’t even bother to disguise her laughter, much to the dismay of the other, more uncomfortable passengers.
“I also have a billion-dollar suit-”
“I can make myself one, if us matching would make you feel any better”
The offer silences Tony, who rubs at his goatee, screwing his eyes shut for a moment as he considers his sister.
“I’m sorry me doing my job makes you nervous” she offers calmly, standing up from her spot to pace towards the main console, “but, look on the bright side, we got all the tech we wanted, and, it’s one less HYDRA lair for SHIELD to worry about bringing down”
“She’s right, Tony” Steve inserts, speaking for the first time since their departure, “I’m not gonna say I agree with her method-”
“Oh good” Stark counters, still clearly irritated, “Because for a second there, it sounded like you were going to praise my little sister for jumping head on into a fight without backup”
“I had back up” Y/N mutters, keying something into the computer
“Like who?” Tony bristles,
“You” she answers, turning to face him.
It’s clear from the silence that follows, that that is something she was expecting him to have known already.
It’s also clear that her having that level of unwavering faith in him, is something he didn’t consider as a possibility.
He’s suddenly very flattered. It shows.
Y/N rolls her eyes, and everyone notices how identical the expression looks when it’s her who’s wearing it.
Tony smiles the rest of the way back to New York. Not even Fury chastising them for their ‘rash actions’ does much to temper his new found elation. In fact, when he tries to scold Y/N, by saying that ‘Reckless impulsivity’ must be a genetic trait they share, he only seems to get happier.
Steve looks somewhat satisfied with the days events, and Natasha is boarder line chipper considering her usual blank facade.
“What did you go back for?” she whispers, when Y/N eventually takes her seat, back at her side, “i pochemu ty pryachesh' eto ot svoyego brata?” and why are you hiding it from your brother?
“because it’s not any of his business” she answers calmly, ignoring the quirk in Steve’s brow, “Eto to, chto ya dumayu, prinadlezhit Sardzhentu Barnsu”
“Sargent Barnes?” Natasha echos, shock making her forget her place for once.
Rodgers snaps up in his seat, eyes suddenly trained in on the women-
“Don’t pretend you don’t know who he is” Y/N chides, “I know damn well you’ve both been tracking him for months-”
“You know Bucky?!” Steve demands in a hushed tone, acutely aware of their lack of privacy.
“Who the hell is Bucky?” she quotes, not bothering to hide her smirk.
“Son of a bitch!”
“Language” the women tease in unison.
Natasha has taken the minute of distraction to compose herself.
It’s hardly surprising Y/N has caught on to their lame attempts at locating the former assassin. They’ve been hacking into her tech after all-
“No offence” she chides, “but did either of you really think nobody was going to notice a bunch of Stark drones being deployed covertly with no authorisation? ”
It’s clear from Steve’s expression that that’s exactly what he’d thought.
“You’re lucky it was me who caught on” she says, “Tony would have put a stop to it pretty fast, y’know, he’s still a little sour about the whole he murdered our parents thing”
“Y/N/N” Steve begins, clearly desperate, “He didn’t know- there is no way Bucky would’ve-”
She raises a hand to silence him, nodding over at her brother who is still blissfully focused on the navigation software.
“You’ve been keeping him off our tracks” Natasha realises, blinking between the siblings, “You are the one that’s been helping me decrypt the security codes-”
Y/N just shrugs.
“You’re actually quite good” she comments, “for a field agent”
Natasha rolls her eyes, bumping her shoulder playfully.
Steve shifts anxiously on his seat clearly trying to process the information he’s just been hit with.
“If you” he begins, “If you’ve already been doin’ that, would- would you help us? I’m sure with you runnin’ some of the kit we track him down in-”
“I don’t need to track him down” Y/N says pleasantly, shutting her eyes, “I know exactly where he is”
Before either of the others could formulate a response, she’d put her headphones in, and was leaning back against the wall, seemingly serene.
Steve had festered for the entire journey back, sharing strained looks at Natasha who seemed to be utterly unwilling to share in his urgent need to do something.
Once they’d landed, Tony had rushed his sister down to their lab to run some tests on the things they’d brought back, and to update Banner who’d been staying behind with Clint.
Much to his continued dismay, Black Widow had only cautioned him against doing anything stupid where the Starks were concerned. Warning him that he was on thin ice with Tony already, and reminding him of the older man’s protective nature, when it came to his sister.
“But she knows Nat” he’d insisted, “she knows his name, she knew about the bridge, about what he said-”
“maybe” Natasha allows
“-How?! How the hell does she know about that” he half demands, “and how, has does she know ‘exactly where he is!?”
“I don’t kn-”
“Shocking” Y/N says, pushing the door to the room open with a smile on her face, “You’re in the dark about’ somethin’ Red? I’d never have believed it-“
Before the spy can react the teasing, Steve has reacted, he’s turned, jaw locked as he reaches out to grip her arm, hard enough to leave a bruise.
She stiffens at the sudden contact, and Natasha takes a step towards the pair.
Their eyes are locked together, Y/N looks almost curious by the boldness of the mans actions, but she can tell that he’s hurting her, even though she knows him well enough to be certain it’s not deliberate.
“Steve…” she cautions, astutely aware of the way that the other woman is assessing the scenario “let her go”
“Unless you want you and your old buddy to have a matching set” Y/N says, flicking a glance at his hand, “then I’d do what she says.”
Steve releases her instantly, ashamed of the way he’d acted on instinct, without considering how he much have hurt her in the process.
“I’m sorry” he says sincerely, taking a step back, “I didn’t mean to-”
“I know” Y/N accepts, damp hair falling in front of her face as she offers him an amused smile, “Don’t worry about it”
“Y/N/N” Nat begins, hopeful that if she can do the talking, they might stand a chance of leaving this interaction with more information then they’d started with, “You said you know where Barnes is located”
“I did” she agrees, leaning on the counter, “I do”
Steve watches her, body thrumming with adrenaline.
“How?” Nat presses, “we’ve been running drones-”
“I know what you’ve been doin’” she replies, “and don’t get me wrong, I love a satellite controlled drone as much as the next girl, but I’ve been takin’ a different approach in terms of gettin’ an updated location-”
“-and that is?”
“I called him a couple of days ago.”
Steve’s jaw drops open, Natasha’s locks shut.
Y/N looks at the duo, and her amusement visible shifts to something more akin to sympathy, when she sees how earnestly Steve wants information about his friend.
“He’s alright…” she offers, “… safe”
“He has a cell phone?” Nat mumbles, more annoyed at herself for not figuring that out, than she is absorbed in the nuance of the conversation
“He takes your calls?”
“Well yeah” Y/N replies to both of them, “I check in every now and then”
“You… check in, on the winter soldier?”
“Are we still calling him that?” she quips, turning to look at Natasha, “I mean, we can I guess, but it sounds a little formal don't you think? I usually stick with Bucky"
Steve is still speechless. He just blinks dumbly at the women for a second, thoughts racing.
“What?” Y/N chides, “You’re the only one allowed to make new friends?”
He runs a hand through his hair, starring at her again.
“Is that what you are? His friend?”
She thinks his tone is awfully protective, if a little suspicious. It doesn’t take her long to decide that it’s endearing, rather than offensive, so she offers him a smile before shrugging, and murmuring a “somethin’ like that” that makes Natasha scoff.
Another, longer silence fills the room. Nobody seems keen on breaking it, and the mutual air of acceptance that has come with it.
Steve isn’t sure why he trusts the woman’s intentions, but that doesn’t change the fact that he does.
Natasha has always loved Y/N. Their bond goes deeper and further back then any of the others know, so there was never any part of her that was going to risk upsetting her over a man she’s never spoken to.
“He’s expecting a call tonight” Y/N says finally, “I'll tell him you say hello”
The hope that flairs behind Steve’s eyes is sweet. He grins and takes a step towards her, he catches himself though, and slows his movements, feeling absurdly guilty about the way he’d greeted her earlier.
“I’m not giving you his number” she tells him firmly, with no hint of apology
“Please” he asks, feeling the optimism he’d been experiencing a moment ago dissipate like smoke, “Y/N-”
“I can’t” she replies, looking at the other woman for support, “He knows you’re looking for him, Steve, he knows where I live, I-”
“is he angry at me?”
“What?” both girls say in unison
“Why would he be angry at you?” Y/N asks, as Natasha offers her a confused glance.
“I- I left him, I-“
“You nearly died” Black Widow inserts, “He nearly killed you”
“That doesn’t matter Nat, I-”
“No” Y/N says calmly, “No Steve, he’s not angry with you- He’s-” she sighs, “He’s not angry at anybody”
“So why-”
“He’s scared, Steve” Natasha says, as if that answer had been obvious, “I mean can you blame the guy?”
Y/N averts her eyes, but it’s obvious from her expression that she agrees.
“I don’t-”
“God, Steve” the red head continues, "He's clearly running from something, and right now, my money's on us-”
“-Oh, god…”
Y/N looks up seeing, hearing the remorse in their voices.
“He’s fine” she repeats, “but he’s not ready for a reunion”
It looks like he might cry. She can barely handle it, so she moves in, closing the few steps between them, and pulls him into a hug.
He laughs into her shoulder, shocked at the contact, but not displeased. He holds onto her, before nodding when she pulls away.
“Would-” he sighs, clearly emotional, “Would’ya tell him, I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll- I’ll give him space, and I- I swear I never meant to make it any harder on him I just- I just miss him-”
“I’ll tell him, I promise”
He nods again, and reigns himself back in, the best he can, pawing at his face to stop tears from filling his eyes.
“So…” Nat begins, “…what did you bring back for him?”
Steve turns to face the spy, and then the Stark.
Y/N is grinning, as she pulls a silver chain from her pocket.
“What’s that?” Romanoff asks, looking at the dog tag that’s hanging from it almost suspiciously, “and why do you think it’s his?”
“Because it is” Y/N answers calmly, “Isn’t it?”
She hands it to Steve, who holds it like it’s fragile, like it’s precious, or like he’s worried it might disappear.
He turns the tag over in his fingers, looking at the familiar engraving with awe.
“It… that… that’s not possible”
“Clearly, it is” Y/N teases, taking it back from his hands, “He told me about it once, said he’d never taken it off before he fell- when I saw it in that drawer I figured I should probably get it back to him”
“We had them made” Rodgers says, “when we got him out of that camp, everyone was jokin’, said it was so if one of us got lost, we’d get brought back to the other”
“Where’s yours?” she asks, eying his baron neck,
“Somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.”
The sadness in his tone is heavy. It pulls at Y/N’s heart strings until one almost snaps in her chest.
“Well, maybe it’ll come back to you one day” is all she says, even though she feels like she owes him more than that.
He forces a chuckle and nods.
“How are you gonna get it to him?” he asks, clearly nervous, “it could get-”
“I’m going to hand it to him” she says, “I’m not going to risk sending it in the mail, Steve, I promise”
His curiosity is clearly sparked again, but this time, he bites his tongue.
The trust he’s putting in her is tangible. She offers him a smile, and tucks the necklace away.
“I’m gonna get back to T-” she announces, pressing a peck against Natasha’s cheek, “I’ll let you know how he’s getting on”
“We’ll stop the drones” the other woman offers,
“You don’t have to” Y/N replies over her shoulder, “they’re way off track”
Steve shakes his head, dismayed- earlier that week they’d been sure they’d gotten a lead in Budapest.
“We really weren’t ever close?” Nat asks, almost irritated
“No” she replies apologetically, “But if it helps, you were up against me, so you never really stood a chance”
“Careful, darlin” Steve cuts in, “you’re startin’ to sound-”
“Like an arrogant douche bag” Natasha finishes for him,
Y/N laughs, loud and hearty like her brother.
“Maybe it’s genetic” she suggests playfully, “Recklessness, Impulsivity, Arrogance, I’m sure Fury’s puttin’ a list together-”
x | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barns x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes angst#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky fanfic#the winter soldier x you#fluff#x reader#drabble#series#BBneverlosthim
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🚪💥WHILE🦎🐈 we’re on the subject- on a night when they’re both small, Atsushi and Dazai end up staying at Kunikida’s in the room he has set up for them (plus Ranpo). Dazai wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying. Atsushi is woken up by the babe in a panic, forgetting where he is and thinking he’s at the orphanage again. It was mentioned that there would probably be a lot of littles at the orphanage, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable to think Atsushi is used to being woken up by a crying baby. But it’s probably also reasonable to believe that said babies weren’t treated very well if they were heard, so it became a normal practice to shut them up for their own safety by any necessary means.
Half blind with fear, Atsushi springs out of bed and feverishly tries to silence Mackerel, who only sees an unfamiliar figure in the dark standing over him and aggressively snarling at him to shut up- which terrifies him and sends him into hysterics.
It obviously doesn’t take long for Kunikida to get to the room and sort it all out (unbeknownst to them, the teddy bear that sits on the bookshelf is actually a hidden baby monitor- it’s so he can keep an eye on the babe, but if it picks up on the start of any of Ranpo’s mischief then Kida won’t complain 😚) but it takes a while for him to calm them both down- even after Atsushi remembers where he is, he’s still worried that Kida might punish him or Dazai, and Dazai is still shaken from the ‘attack’ and doesn’t like how close Atsushi is keeping towards him.
After that, Babyzai’s crib is kept in Kunikida’s room, which bothers him because ‘only REALLY little babies need to sleep in the same room as their caregivers’ because apparently Dazai still cares about that technicality, despite being an actual baby and it really not mattering one way or the other. Dammit Atsushi. -🍓
PSPSPSPSPPSPSPS 💁🐟 🐈
YES I’m so here for Atsushi immediately trying to console Dazai and just being so worried that they’ll get in trouble 😭 i feel that tbh I’m still afraid to make noise past 8pm lmao who’s gonna get mad at me, my dog??
Babyzai absolutely would put up a fuss about his crib being moved lmao like the location makes all the different 😭 I’m so here for this entire scenario my crops are watered any sustained everything about it is perfect
Also. Kunikida probably secretly loves hosting these sleepovers 😭 they’re all so good i love them 🩷
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𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔰
«prev. ❃ next» ❃ first chapter ❃ m.list ❃ ao3 pairing: r. haitani/fem!reader ↳ she/her, fem descriptors, nickname ❃ chapter synopsis: nothing makes sense anymore. how is everything connected word count: 4.5k chapter cw(s): swearing, possible ooc, death mentions a/n: another post, another fight with tumblr formatting to try and make things pretty
You forgot to text Shika that you’d made it home. In your defense, seeing the bodies of those two boys made every other thought in your head disappear. You’d been laying down and staring at the ceiling, watching as lightning flashed outside your window. You hadn’t even bothered to take off your shoes so the lower halves of your calves were dangling off your unmade bed. Thoughts circled around your mind like sharks, waiting to take a bite out of the thin veil of control you had.
Your brooding was interrupted by a fierce knocking on your door. You didn’t really want to get up, but the rapping continued. You hauled yourself up with a sigh and trudged to the door, not bothering to check the peephole because you knew only a certain number of people would come knocking. And if it was your kidnappers, you don’t think you had it in you to care. Instead you came face to face with a very soaked and very unhappy Shika.
“You look like a drowned rat,” you said without thinking.
“Really?” Shika was pissed.
“Sorry,” you mumbled. “I said I would text, but I didn’t.” You didn’t have it in you to try to defend yourself. You just wanted to lay down and forget you existed. Maybe it would be better if you never did.
Shika’s frown softened. “What did Miko need from you? Why did she take you to the morgue?” Her voice was barely a whisper, speaking like you were glass and if she was too loud you’d shatter.
You stepped back and let Shika in before shutting the door softly. Guilt gnawed in your stomach at the thought of admitting the truth, but you also knew if anyone would understand, it was Shika. You couldn’t meet her eyes. You weren’t sure if you could say anything without getting choked up. You were no stranger to failure, but usually it only affected you. Not this time.
The tears in your eyes blurred your vision as you looked up at Shika. The concern in her dark eyes made you want to crawl under a rock.
“Lotus,” she murmured.
“She,” you swallowed thickly, trying to get control of the lump in your throat. “She needed me to identify bodies.”
Shika gasped as she realized who you had to identify. “No way,” she said. “They should have been—”
The anger and frustration at ultimately being helpless boiled over. “I know!” your voice edged on a scream. “They should have been but I should have known better! I knew there was a chance, but I was so sure they’d—”
Shika cut you off with a tight embrace. She let you sob and gently carried your weight down when your legs gave out from under you. She knelt as you collapsed, letting the dam burst. “I know,” she said soothingly. “I’m sorry Miko made you do that. Any of us that were there could have. They should have called out Nezumi or Hato.” Someone who wouldn’t be affected like this. Words that were unspoken, but both you and Shika knew.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you choked out. “I hate feeling on edge all the time. I hate having to worry about anyone involved with me. Nothing good comes out of being associated with me.”
Shika squeezed you again and rested her chin on top of your head. She didn’t try to console you further, she just sat on her knees and let you cry in her arms. Once you had settled enough, your sobs becoming stray hiccups, Shika let you go and you looked at each other. “Good thing I was already soaked from the rain, huh?” she asked.
It earned a little laugh. “Sorry about that,” you said. “If you want to hop in the shower I can throw your clothes in the wash. I’ll bring you something from my closet you can throw on. You can’t be comfortable like that.”
“Good thing your body runs warm, Lotus,” Shika said. “You kept me from freezing to death, but a shower does sound nice. You should probably clean up too.” She looked you up and down and you didn’t have the energy to be offended. She stood up on uneasy legs from being tucked under her body for so long, and you offered a steadying hand. She winced before hobbling off to the bathroom. “I’ll toss my clothes in a pile on the floor and you can leave whatever you find in the meantime on the counter.”
You nodded before scurrying off to dig in your closet. In terms of clothing, you didn’t exactly have a lot. You rotated between the same ripped jeans and orange tank tops underneath your prized leather jacket. You never felt the need to have something else on hand. Searching a little harder, you found a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt you couldn’t remember where you’d gotten it from. It would look terrible on you, but you knew that somehow Shika would make it work.
A wet plop shook you out of your thoughts. Right, you had to go get her clothes and throw them in the wash. You grabbed anything else you thought she needed, including an extra towel, and knocked on the bathroom door before opening it. You left the clothes on the counter and picked up the drenched clothing Shika arrived in.
Your friend always found a way to subvert your bias. You figured Shika would take one of those showers that lasted forever, but you had barely pressed the start button on the washer when you heard the shower cut off. You could also probably do with a shower. You sat down on your living room floor with a grunt and leaned against your coffee table.
When the bathroom door creaked, you turned your head slightly to see Shika emerge with a decent amount of steam. Christ, how hot did she run her showers? Her skin was nearly an angry shade of red, but she didn’t look fazed. Her hair was wrapped in a towel and she’d cuffed the bottom of the sweats. The oversized shirt hid most of her frame. She looked the comfiest you’d ever seen.
“Why do you make everything look good?” you wondered aloud.
Shika looked at you and tilted her head. “Thank you, I think,” she said, moving into the living room. “I didn’t use all your hot water, so you should probably get cleaned up too. Then we can like, I don’t know, hang out? Do girly shit? I don’t know. I’m not good at this whole being normal thing.”
That got a real laugh out of you. “Neither am I,” you said. “We’ll figure it out once I’m out of the shower.”
“Sounds good.” Shika plopped down on the couch. “Can I turn on the TV?”
You looked at the unused box in the corner. You didn’t really watch anything, and it was collecting dust. You weren’t even sure if it still worked, and you told Shika such. Shika just blinked at you like you’d grown another head. “What do you do in your downtime then?”
You shrugged. You worked yourself ragged as a runner so you couldn’t be conscious enough to mull over your feelings. Maybe you’d hang out at a convenience store to grab a prepackaged meal and maybe browse some magazines. You didn’t see a point in watching TV, especially because you only got one channel and you could only handle so much depressing news in one day.
“Oh, right,” you said. “Don’t be disappointed, but I only get the news channel.”
“How can you expect me to not be disappointed by that?” Shika frowned. “Oh well, maybe one of the news anchors is cute or something. I’ll fill in all the riveting things you missed.”
“Knew I could depend on you,” you said with a slight grin. You stood up and headed to the bathroom. The steam was still fogging up the mirror and clung to your skin. You flipped the vent on before running the water. Once it was an acceptable temperature, you shed your clothes and stepped underneath the stream of water. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, letting the water wash away any dirt and grime. It was hopeless, but you wished that the water could also clean you of any of the emotions storming inside you.
The last twenty-four hours had not been kind. Between the job going wrong, Shika interrogating you about your fake boyfriend, and Miko showing you dead bodies, you weren’t actually sure how you were functioning. You let your thoughts wander and remembered what Miko told you. It didn’t sound like she was part of Wuxing’s initial migration, so they found her when they got here. Why would they pick her? You already wondered why Miko was working with Wuxing because she was so kind, but after today you knew that something devastating had left her stone faced and only wore a mask of compassion. You couldn’t really speculate on it much. Could it have had something to do with Kirin’s dead wife? You wanted to ask questions, but you don’t think you’d get nor want them. Maybe you could talk to Shika about it.
Miko also knew that there was another foreign gang that followed Wuxing here because Kirin did the impossible and won something the others thought he’d never win. Why else would the rival offer up something that valuable? The challenge was probably weighted heavily against Kirin, but you knew that the man was slippery in many ways. Japanese law enforcement couldn’t pin anything to Wuxing. Wuxing wasn’t even common knowledge, well, at least until recently. And then there were eyes on you. You weren’t sure what for, but it exposed your existence. You were well known, but only in the circles where you ran. Outside of those circles, there would be stray whispers about your affinity for business. Not to mention you had to fake your arrogance that everyone should know who you were. You probably weren’t even Kirin’s best kept secret.
You winced as shampoo suds dripped into your eye. Alright, that was enough shower time. You gently rinsed your eye and then your hair before the suds attacked you again. You cut off the water with a squeak of the handle and emerged in a wreath of steam that was nothing compared to Shika’s cloud. Wrapping the towel around your body, you made a quick move to your bedroom to change. It wasn’t a long trip, maybe a few steps, but you weren’t going to linger in the open like this.
You threw on your standard night clothes of cotton shorts and a loose fitting shirt. You wrapped your hair up and went to the living room to join Shika. Her eyes were glued to the TV screen. The image was fuzzy and the audio was even worse, but you could gather the gist of what the reporter was talking about. You stood and watched the screen and you caught the word “bodies”.
Involuntarily you gasped and Shika, not knowing you were there, let out a small shriek. “Fucking hell, Lotus!” she snapped, pressing a hand against her chest like it would still her heart. “Tell me you’re there next time, holy shit.”
“Sorry,” you said. “The news caught my eye. More bodies were found?”
Shika looked like she didn’t want to tell you, but you sat down and told her that it was okay. It wasn’t Hifumi or Kichiro, so you had no personal stakes in it. Shika turned down the volume and sighed. “They say it was a bunch of cops,” she said.
You blinked once. “Someone went after law enforcement?” you asked dumbly. “Do they have a death wish? What the hell were they thinking?”
“Don’t know, but these cops didn’t exactly have squeaky clean records. There’s not much of a connection between them because they came from different wards and grew up in different regions.”
“That’s so fucking weird.” A shiver ripped through your body. “Don’t tell me we also have a serial killer on the loose, too. My fragile heart can only take so much.”
Shika shook her head. “They’ve got no clue. The details we know are that the bodies are fresh, they were found near the Port of Tokyo, and some of them have tattoos?”
“That’s—” you paused with a frown. “My job was at the Port of Tokyo.” You sat down next to Shika and squinted at the fuzzy screen. You didn’t get a good look at the people who nearly kidnapped you at the port, but these incidents felt too uncanny to be a coincidence. Especially knowing that your pursuers had a propensity to kill anyone involved so there wasn’t a trail. If your hunch was correct, then the people who attacked you at the port were killed within a twenty-four hour window. That was a lot faster than some of the previous deaths.
An image of an intricate knot flashed on the screen and it looked vaguely familiar. You swear you’d seen it before. Was it on the others you’d encountered? You couldn’t remember, and you couldn’t wade through the sea of your memory to determine why.
Shika had noticed how intently you were staring. “Have you seen it before?”
“I feel like I have, but I can’t place it,” you admitted.
“Are you religious?”
The withering look you gave Shika had her holding up her hands. Given what she knew about you, your expression conveyed a form of you’re kidding, right?
“It’s just a question, Lotus. It’s a common symbol in Buddhism,” Shika said. “The endless knot.”
“Huh, I’m not familiar with it, but I think some dots can be connected,” you said. “The people have left me a message to ‘seek Nirvana’. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to assume they’re related.”
Shika nodded in agreement. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s consolidate the information you know because I can see you trying to wrangle your thoughts.”
“Oh, it’s that obvious?” you laughed. “Yeah, I think organizing my thoughts is gonna help us connect the dots or something. Let me grab some paper and a pen.”
You got up, retrieved your supplies, and sat down on the floor across from Shika. You spread out several sheets of paper and tossed another pen to Shika. She stared at you like you’d grown another head. “Think you can draw that symbol?” you asked.
“Not very well,” Shika said. “But yeah I can draw that.”
She grabbed the piece of power closest to her and got to drawing. You wrote down other things on the remaining papers you had. You sorted them out based on what the Haitanis told you, what you had encountered, and any tidbits that felt relevant. The fake deals Rokuhara Tandai was offered and the fact that the men Ran and Rindou interrogated were found dead later. You didn’t know how much later, but maybe you could ask them. Maybe they’d seen this symbol too.
The next thing was the trap that involved Kichiro and Hifumi. They were blackmailed through a third party, but you remembered that the two boys lost contact with them after you had agreed to run the drugs. Your chest panged and you had to stop writing for a moment, attempting to suffocate the emotions bubbling up inside you.
Given that the communication halted after the job was arranged, you wouldn’t be surprised if the blackmailers were dead. You put a question mark nearby on the page because you didn’t explicitly know their fate. Kiricho and Hifumi were dead and there wasn’t a good estimate of when they were killed. You put the location of where their bodies were found and tapped your bottom lip with your pen.
You continued on, writing details about your first near kidnapping. They knocked you unconscious so you weren’t sure about the man’s appearance and his voice was relatively nondescript. He was one of the men Genbu was responsible for questioning. According to Miko, those men had died while under Genbu’s watch. That was news to you, but it didn’t surprise you. They were undoubtedly connected to the gang after you, and they had no qualms with dying to protect their organization’s identity. But that wasn’t the weirdest part. How did they die? Genbu would never let captives remain unguarded and from what you understood, the men would have been thoroughly checked for any contraband. Was there someone in Genbu’s unit that was a traitor to Wuxing?
You gnawed on your pen cap before scribbling “inside job???” and circled it multiple times. You also made note that the one who spoke to you, the apparent leader, knew you by name. A name you thought you’d abandoned and had died with you the day you were sold. They knew something about your family that you didn’t, and you still didn’t care to know. You’re not sure the information would actually help you. If you knew your father’s identity would it mean anything to you? Of course not. You wanted to stay out of gang politics.
They weren’t the only ones you’d encountered that knew things about you that they weren’t supposed to. The encounter in the alley felt like the catalyst for all of this shit going down. You weren’t sure at that point if someone was trying to take you out, but that incident confirmed it. You were too panicked to glean any useful information, and according to Rindou, the man killed himself with a suicide pill. The dead man knew your brother’s name. Was it possible that they were familiar with your brother’s gambling habits? Even so, how would they have known that you were related? Your bastard of a brother only revealed your existence when it was convenient for him.
Could your brother have tried to sell you to this other gang as well? Is that why they wanted their hands on you so badly? No, that wouldn’t make sense. You’d been with Wuxing for several years and nobody’s been after you until now. There were plenty of times for this gang to nab you. So what happened that made them care about you? The only answers you had were your unknown family history and a trail of dead bodies. And some sort of connection to Buddhism.
You couldn’t recall your mother practicing any sort of religion except alcoholism, which felt like a contradiction to Buddhism. She was never home most nights, leaving you and your brother to fend for yourselves. Sometimes when your brother wasn’t a sack of shit, he’d actually treat you to something. You could never predict his moods or when he was going to be your brother or a complete stranger. You tried to pick up the signs, and you could identify a few staples, but for the most part he was unreadable. In the months before his death, he only had two emotions: anger and fury. This had earned him the moniker of Wrath, but he was the laughingstock of the underground. He couldn’t hide his anger and it would always give him away when he had a bad hand. He was a fucking loser until the end.
Other than what you could recollect of your disappointing youth, there was nothing else to give you any sort of direction. There was a section of time you had blocked out when you were under Byakko’s... “care”. Those were a hellish two years, almost three. Reliving that part of your life was something you refused to do. Any time the repressed memories came back to haunt you, you felt nothing but shame and disgust. Fuck Byakko and everything he worked for. You would set fire to the brothels yourself.
Shika snapped her fingers in front of your face, bringing you out of your spiraling thoughts. She held up her rendition of the endless knot and tilted her head. It wasn’t perfect, but it got the point across. Thank god there was something she was bad at, but it was still better than anything you’d attempt.
“Yeah, that looks good,” you told her. You gestured to all the scattered documents you had, filled with your lacking penmanship. “This is all the information I think was important. If something else comes to mind, I’ll write it down.”
Shika squinted at the scrawl. “Lotus, I mean this in the kindest way, but what the fuck am I supposed to be reading?”
“Listen, not all of us got to go to high school okay? Stop attacking me, you’re supposed to be on my side.” You crossed your arms and pouted. You knew very well that your chicken scratch was only legible to you, and you weren’t sure if you spelled anything correctly either.
“I don’t even know what this is supposed to say,” Shika snorted. “You’re gonna have to read it to me.”
You rolled your eyes. “God it’s gonna be the world’s worst bedtime story,” you whined. “Alright, two heads are better than one, and I need someone else’s perspective so I guess I can read it to you.”
Clearing your throat, you started at the beginning. You left nothing out, because maybe there were details you had missed that Shika would pick up on. By the end of it, you could tell that Shika was trying so hard to not make any sort of face. You waved it off, because you knew that everything was fucked up, and decided to ask, “Did anything stick out to you?”
“No,” Shika said, shaking her head. “The only thing I can think of is if you ask your boyfriend if he saw the symbol”—she tapped the endless knot with her pen—“and if he could know what it means.”
You nearly asked Shika what the hell she meant and then you remembered the lie you were going to have to perpetuate. You really hoped that this charade wouldn’t influence you to actually start falling for the younger Haitani. You already had close calls, but you attributed those moments of weakness to your muddled and tired brain. “It’s possible he may know,” you said slowly, like you were trying to find the right words to not tip off Shika that you and Rindou were anything but lovers. You thought about coming clean, but it was more convenient that Shika believed it to be a romance. You also weren’t sure what was going to happen if she found out you were lying, a delightful remnant from your past life.
“Go get your phone, dummy,” Shika prompted you.
You shook your head and got up. “Right, right,” you said. “Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place.”
Shika looked at you sympathetically. “Yeah, that makes sense. Hopefully we’ll figure something out that makes your brain shut up.”
You walked back to your room and retrieved the burner from under your mattress and returned. You opened your message thread with Rindou and a flutter of anxiety swept over you. Goddammit, you had no reason to be nervous. He was either gonna answer or not, and if he did answer, he’d either know or he won’t. There was literally no other interpretation that could be made of this interaction. Why did you feel like a stupid middle schooler with a crush again? Fucking hell. This was all Shika’s fault, you determined. But that didn’t hide the tiny bout of guilt for fully blaming her for something you decided to entertain.
You took a picture of the drawing, being careful to make sure Shika wasn’t in the shot. That’d bring up a whole slew of problems you didn’t want to address with the Haitani brothers. You sent off the picture with a quick follow-up text:
>|3-xx09-11xx at 0439 Does this look familiar to u?
You flipped your phone shut and stared at the time glaring at you. It was almost five in the morning. You shouldn’t care what he would think about you texting him so late at night, or early in the morning, depending on who you asked. “Ah hell,” you muttered.
“Hmm?” Shika tilted her head as she looked at you.
“I sent him a text at four in the morning,” you groaned, putting your face in your hands. “What is he gonna think of me?”
“Oh, it’s almost five in the morning,” Shika said, glancing at her own phone and ignoring your devastation. “Stop being dramatic,” she told you. “He should be happy you texted him at any time. Also, since when do you care what people think of you?”
You opened your mouth to retort but quickly shut it. Shika was right. You don’t care about how Rindou perceived you. Right? If you disturbed him or anything, that isn’t your problem. This whole act and your exhaustion were not a great combination. You might just fool yourself into thinking you do like the bastard. You put your head down on the table.
“He’s gonna think I’m annoying,” you whined, your arms muffling your voice. It was a partial truth, and you figured Shika would interpret it as the anxiety associated with young love. At least that’s what you hoped.
Shika patted your shoulder. “I’m sure he won’t care. He’s probably not even—”
The buzz of your phone interrupted her. Without looking up, you could feel Shika’s burning gaze. You lifted your head slightly and flipped open your phone.
>| 3-xx06-83xx at 04532 Why the hell are you awake?
>| 3-xx06-83xx at 0454 It looks a little familiar. I’ll ask around.
You stared at the messages Rindou sent to you. What the hell was he doing up? You knew why you were up, but why was he? You typed aggressively and Shika looked over your shoulder.
>|3-xx09-11xx at 0457 I could ask you the same thing.
>|3-xx09-11xx at 0457 Thanks. Let me know what you find.
>| 3-xx06-83xx at 0459 We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Anyway, why do you want to know about that?
>|3-xx09-11xx at 0501 It’s a long story. But I think it’s related to all the weird shit we’ve encountered.
The conversation was left off there. You were pleasantly surprised that he answered so quickly. You figured he’d get back to you by lunchtime or something. Shika nudged you with her elbow. “See? He didn’t seem upset. He even sounded concerned about you being awake.”
“Oh god, Shika stop!” You put your face in your hands. “It’s a text message, there's no way to tell tone.”
“Aww, it’s so cute that you get all flustered still,” Shika cooed. You could only imagine the shit-eating on her face. “Anyway, let’s call it a night, yeah?”
You heard her yawn and stretch out, joints popping. You hummed in agreement, feeling the pull of sleep on your subconscious. You mumbled as you stood up and headed to the linen closet to grab Shika a blanket. Shika was already stretched out like she owned the place. Her eyes were shut, but by her breathing, you could tell she wasn’t asleep yet. You tossed the blanket over Shika and retreated to your room. You barely had time to grab your own covers before you fell into a relatively dreamless sleep.
Please do not reupload, translate, or steal my work! If it isn't here or on my ao3, it's not me! Likes & reblogs appreciated! <3 Dividers courtesy of @/cafekitsune & @/firefly-graphics
#ruse’s ashes#x reader fanfic#rindou haitani x reader#reader insert#tokyo revengers reader insert#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers ocs#rindou x reader
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29. If, at an inn with just a few people staying there, there's a gigantic blizzard. You're stuck there, but someone has been murdered! Write what happens next.
I’ve always loved the cold and when I tell people that Winter is my favorite season they would always look at me like I’m a sinner. The truth is, being cold made me forget my thoughts because I’d be too busy thinking about how cold it was, it was like an escape.
But being stuck at a murder scene during a blizzard was not how I imagined my escape would be.
The body was found an hour ago.
He was still in the room where they located him. The inn only has eight rooms and is connected to the living room hall. The man was alive and walking for most of the day before it turned dark. Then, we didn’t see him at all, which prompted Anna to went and look for him because it was dinner time and the Inn owner prepared us some food.
I was on my way to see my parents for the holidays, and it’s a cross-country drive that takes 12 hours, and now here I am stuck in a nowhere Inn with 6 other strangers, 7 if you count the dead body.
I would not feel so shitty if I knew he died of normal causes but he was murdered.
Yes, the man (name unknown to me) was murdered with the murder weapon right next to him. I’ve never been afraid of blood, come to think of it I’m not afraid of most things and even when a murder victim was lying in one of the rooms, I still don’t feel scared, I just felt like it was a major inconvenience for me.
We knew that the murderer was in the room with us. No one has been out since the blizzard has gotten worse. I had no idea who the man was, I didn’t even know his name, so I can’t possibly be the murderer I’d been sitting in the living room for hours and they all saw me. That was my alibi.
Anna was in and out of the living room, but the Inn owner vouched for her because a few hours before the man was found, Anna was helping her in the kitchen.
That left three other suspects. The Mother and her 15-year-old son and the old lady.
None of us knew who the man was. We insisted.
“But the murder weapon is a cane,” Anna announced, eyeing the old lady and she pursed her lips with a disapproving look. “Just because I am old doesn’t mean I need a cane to walk. I walk perfectly fine.” she insisted, but remained seated.
How could an old lady fight off a muscular man in his late 30s? Doesn’t seem so likely.
“Why are you so sure that he was murdered and the cane is the murder weapon?” the Mother asked.
“We all saw him,” Anna answered.
Yes, we did, after a blood-curdling scream came from the room and Anna had a panic attack from discovering his beaten-up state, blood all over the sheets with the bloody cane next to him.
He was murdered.
Nobody said anything for the next few minutes, nobody could.
“I genuinely do not care who murdered him, I’m going to bed,” I announced but was stopped by the Inn Owner. “No, nobody can leave this room! I am not going to sleep knowing there’s a murderer on the loose in my inn.” she snapped. “Okay.” I rolled my eyes.
We called the police but everybody was stuck inside due to the blizzard and we were only instructed to stay put. If I was the murderer I would risk my life and just leave why would I wait around for the police to arrive? Wouldn’t that be worse?
“There are only a few people here without an alibi, and ruling out this old lady due to her... lack of energy... that leaves the two of you.” I decided to just say what everybody was thinking. “Don’t say that about Mother!” the teenager defended and the Mother consoled him.
“I’m just stating an observation.” I crossed my arms, observing the change in his expression, he made it even worse, now everyone was suspecting him and the mother.
“You’re trying to throw us off.” the old lady spoke, “You’re trying to make us think it was them, it could be you,” she added. I scoffed at her remarks, “We have a CCTV here in the living room, I’ve been sitting here reading for the past few hours, almost half a day. I won’t be worried about me if I were you.”
“The cane does look like something you would own.” Anna was still adamant about her theory. “Why would any of us need a cane? I think I saw you use it before.” Anna’s memory was hazy and she was just filling in gaps.
“I can walk fine! That is not my cane!” the old lady insisted as she stood up from the couch and walk a straight line towards Anna. “This does not prove anything, it could be Gout and you only need it occasionally.” Anna deducted, she has a point.
Everyone was trying to shift the blame to whomever and was trying to convince the other to be an ally.
I can’t help but noticed that the boy has been quiet throughout the exchange.
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So I’ve been playing a lot of skyrim lately, because it’s video game comfort food, and I decided it was time for my Redguard Dovahkiin to settle down. (Actually I specifically just wanted to be able to adopt some of the random orphans you meet because I felt guilty about them, but you need to be married before you can do that so that there’s someone at home to take care of the kids while you’re off galivanting).
So I travelled around a bit, chatting up likely looking npcs until I found one I both liked and didn’t feel guilty about marrying (I feel bad if I marry one of the warrior adventurer types, making them be a stay at home mum) and settled on an obnoxiously cheerful argonian called Shavee because her life was frankly shit, and I thought she’d probably be good with kids.
So off I go to Riften to the Temple of Mara to arrange the wedding. I book it in for the next day, realise I didn’t bring anything nice to wear, and spend the night before the wedding robbing every house in the city in the search for something to wear. Eventually decide everyone in Riften has terrible fashion sense and break down everything I stole into raw materials and use them to craft myself an outfit and some jewellery that i’m pretty happy with. I even carefully pick out my fanciest looking sword to wear.
(don’t know why I bothered, frankly, shavee turned up wearing a shirt covered in suspicious stains and weilding a pickaxe, it’s like she doesn’t even care about this marriage)
(also for comedy purposes, bear in mind I play with survival mods that mean my character needs to eat and sleep to live, and I literally spent the entire ingame night on this and forgot to eat and drink anything either and then just downed four bowls of wolf stew right before entering the temple so I didn’t starve during the ceremony. also I discovered during the wedding that I am dying of rockjoint, which I contracted from sleeping in a pile of hay on the floor of a skeever infested cave, so even being six foot tall and jacked can’t make up for the fact that I am exhausted, running a fever, and probably covered in wolf which I spilled because my joints are slowly atrophying, and even the fanciest clothes in the world aren’t going to cover that up)
so I enter the temple, and my finance is there, and Lydia my housecarl, and some random NPCs the game thinks are my friends because I did fetch quests for them
One of the random NPCs is Lisbet. Atfter I did her fetch quest, I then did another quest in which I discovered Lisbet is secretly a cannibal and part of a demonic cult that worships the daedric prince of decay by kidnapping priests, sacrificing them, and then eating their corpses. Raw. I think the raw meat is the sticking point for me here honestly.
I ultimately decided not to sacrifice the random priest to a daedric prince in exchange for one magic ring and all the raw human I could eat, because frankly, that doesn’t sound like much of a deal to me. I was expecting there to be some kind of dialogue choice where I could nope out at the last minute, but it turns out there isn’t one, so after they drugged the priest and tied him to the altar, I just got out my sword and started swinging.
I killed most of the cult (including the town butcher, because I had brought meat from him before and was extremely pissed off that he might have been secretly feeding me humans) but a couple of them got away, which I figured was fine because they weren’t trying to kill me.
Except it turns out, if any of them escape, then every time you see them in the future there’s a random chance that they’ll fly into a violent rage and try and murder you.
Lisbet is at my wedding. Lisbet decides that clearly me marrying this random argonian woman with two lines of dialogue is the happiest day of my life, and she cannot allow me that happiness, when I’ve taken so much from her.
So she tries to kill me. Only she can’t, because I’m stuck in a pre-rendered wedding animation, and also she’s sitting next to Lydia, my faithful retainer and owner of a really big axe.
It also turns out that Lisbet is essential, meaning she can be knocked unconcious but not actually killed because she’s needed for some quest or other. And the minute she wakes up from unconciousness, she tries to kill me again, so Lydia knocks her unconcious again, and I’m stuck, I can’t move, because I’m supposed to be in the wedding animation.
Except Shavee has, not unreasonably, see all this and decided that she doesn’t like me enough to risk getting murdered, and has done a runner, leaving me at the altar, but more importantly, leaving me trapped in a broken pre-rendered animation, so all I can do is stand there at the altar, staring at the space where my fiance was supposed to be, listening to the sounds of Lydia trying and failing to beat a cannibal to death behind me.
Okay, I think, clearly this wedding isn’t going to happen, I’m going to go for the registry office option and complete the wedding using the dev commands. I do this. The priest gives me a wedding ring, and I can finally move again. I chase after Shavee, who has an impressive turn of speed on her, and eventually catch up right by the city gates. I try to talk to her.
Apparently using the console has completed the wedding for me, but not for her, because she still only has the same 2 lines of dialogue she usually has.
Clearly this is working, I can’t leave my kids with someone who can only say 2 things and doesn’t even know she’s their mum, that’s irresponsible.
I try loading from inside the temple. I get the same problem.
Eventually I figure out that I need to use the dev controls to disable Lisbet’s entire existence in the universe.
Shavee and me get married. As the priest reads the vows, I stare at Shavee and wonder why she couldn’t even be bothered to put on a clean shirt. I wonder what kind of mother she’ll be.
Once the ceremony is over, and I’m happily married to the dirty green lizard of my dreams, and we’ve agreed that until I can make her recognise my extremely nice modded house exists I will share her single bed in the unheated flophouse in Windhelm she calls home, I re-enable Lisbet, because I’m worried I’ll forget if I leave it too long.
Fun fact about skyrim, it loads in quite a lot of npcs and objects by dropping them from the sky. I have no idea why this is the case, but it’s objectively the funniest way to load in objects.
I re-enable Lisbet. She falls from the sky, clips through the roof of the temple, and lands in the pew beside Lydia, stands up, draws a knife, and is immedately beaten unconcious.
I no longer care, because Shavee now has all the exciting new spouse-only romantic dialogue options like “Could you cook something for me” and “have you made any money lately”, and I know she’ll be a great mother.
I limp to the door of the temple, while around me the guests not involved in the Lydia-Lisbet murder cycle scream and duck for cover.
I open the door to the temple, immediately collapse and ragdoll down the steps, which is how I discover I am dying of rockjoint.
I limp to the orphanage down the street, adopt two kids, and then finally remember that I’m carrying garlic bread, which as we all know, cures all known illnesses.
When I emerge back into the street, full of the joys of motherhood and garlic bread, I find the town in disaray. Lydia is chasing Lisbet through the streets with an axe and a dragon is circling overhead, burning npcs to death. People are running for shelter, screaming, while the guards try to take down an entire dragon using only the worst bows and arrows in the game.
I decide that as a parent, I have to think of my own safety first and leave them to it.
I head out of the city, intent on returning home and figuring out why Shavee refuses to move in with me. A man hanging around the stables challenges me to a boxing match. For want of anything better to do, I agree.
Halfway through the fight he dodges at the wrong moment and I punch one of his horses in the head.
Two guards attack me while I desperately try to surrender. My kids will miss me, but I’m prepared to go to jail for my horse crimes, I’m an honest citizen. Also my horse crimes seem somewhat less important than the dragon.
The guards refuse to accept my surrender. I am stabbed to death. As I collapse in front of the indifferent horse, Lisbet exits the city, followed by Lydia. The last thing I see before I die is Lydia swinging her axe at Lisbet’s face.
#skyrim#spoilers#technically#although this game is a decade old and we all own at least two versions of it at this point#so i'm not sure it counts#long post
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INSUFFERABLE | General Hux x Reader Smut
INSUFFERABLE | General Hux x Reader Smut. 18+. MINORS DNI.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Word count: 25K because I’m insane and I love him
Content warning: fem!reader x Hux; smut, slight dom/sub implications, masturbation, little vulgar language, slight hair pulling kink ig???
General Hux did not tolerate disorder.
Nothing he was taking care of could be in any way imperfect, not even his thoughts, even when he was the only one who had access to them. However, this last thing seemed to become harder to keep in his beloved order ever since Y/N Y/L/N became one of the people under his command.
She was not much younger than him and average looking to most, but when he first saw her, he had to remind himself he was not supposed to stare. She seemed to have just that kind of beauty that fell right into the standards he hadn't even known he had, having been single since forever.
He promised himself he'd forget about her quickly, sending her to work somewhere he wouldn't see her often on purpose. It seemed to do the trick, as his mind focused back on his duties and there were days he wouldn't spend a second on thinking of her in any way.
However, the stars were not in his favour. She had huge knowledge - what also presented itself as attractive to him - and there came a day when she couldn't be used for jobs any novice could take care of. He had to give her a better position and, as a result, she began to work much closer to him.
There she was, sitting by her red console on her fourth day with a new position, with hair wrapped into a tight bun and focus on her face. She didn't even glance at anything other than her screen, leaving Hux to ogle her freely... Or so it seemed.
He tried to restrain himself every time, and then caught himself staring yet again. It was only a matter of time before anyone else noticed this and he couldn't allow that. It was only the fourth day... Hux didn't know how he was supposed to get used to the fact she was working right there, in his eyesight.
He had to do something to keep his image. Looking at her one more time - in this instance, he tried to explain himself, just to find a solution - he first noticed her uniform.
It was tight on her. You could see the exact shape of her thigh, her bottom, up to her breasts... She wasn't the first female there, yet in all those years of his work, he'd never noticed details like these. Forcing himself to take eyes off her chest, he decided this was it - he could make her change the uniform and his own thoughts would be calmed.
With his hands behind his back, he walked up to her console. From up close, all those details made him feel even a little bit more intoxicated than before. However, he composed himself quickly - he had a mission, therefore he couldn't fail it because of some distractions.
"Y/L/N."
She looked up at him, and for the first time, he noticed the colour of her eyes. They were Y/E/C - and he was going to remember that.
"Yes, sir?"
"Come to my office as soon as you finish your shift today."
She looked a bit surprised, but replied quickly regardless:
"Yes, sir."
Something about the way she said that from a place somewhere below him made him gulp. However, this time he managed to keep his cool and he simply walked away.
"Now you may be in trouble..." said the boy working right next to Y/N when the General was out of earshot. She raised an eyebrow.
"As far as I'm concerned, I haven't done anything wrong. I don't think I should be worried."
"You never know with him."
Y/N didn't look bothered, but she did feel a little bit nervous on the inside. General Hux was serious and brusque, yet she didn't expect him to scold her. She knew she hadn't even had time to make any significant mistakes during her four days in a new position... But who knew?
Her stomach was tingling when she was walking through the corridor right after her shift, unsure what to expect. She felt confident and lost at the same time, also wondering how the General's office might look like. She was sure it was clean and neat, just like he was, and it made him really attractive to her. Although she knew there was no way of anything ever happening between the two of them, she liked to think she at least had the right to glance at him from time to time, just to admire the view, especially now that she worked closer to him.
The office was, indeed, very clean, almost shining. When she stepped inside having heard permission to do so, she noticed a black desk to her left, some shelves and electronics to her right, and a stunning view on the galaxy just in front of her.
"You wanted to see me, sir," she said as the door closed behind her, positioning herself in front of the General who was sitting by the desk.
"Oh, you. Right," he said dismissively when she entered, as though he forgot he had invited her.
It was a lie. It was all he was thinking about that day, ever since he gave her the order, preparing what to say to her. He thought it was better for him to think about her rather than stare at her, even if he wasn't pleased with neither. He sat up straight in his chair and began to wonder whether inviting her was a good idea. Hux had never been alone with her before, but when he realised he was, it made him gulp again. There was no one to see them and no one to notice whether, or where, he was looking. It was just her in the shadowy room, lit up slightly from the side by the light from behind the windows that accented each and every curve of her body in the dark uniform even more.
"I called you here to talk about your uniform," he said eventually, keeping his voice cold and formal.
This took Y/N by surprise. She looked down at her body as though she was seeing it for the first time.
"I'm sorry - but what is wrong with my uniform, sir?" she asked in surprise as she had never had any issues with her outfit whatsoever.
"It is too tight, clearly," he said matter-of-factly. "Get a new one first thing tomorrow."
Y/N looked flabbergasted, to say the least. It was one of the last things she expected when he called her.
"Excuse me, sir, but I don't think the uniform is..."
"Have I not made myself clear?" he cut her off sharply.
"But what is the reason? It doesn't limit my moves and it has never been a problem until now."
"It can distract other workers," Hux replied, provoked. At least he kept himself quiet from revealing he was the worker she was distracting.
"Then it's their problem, not mine."
"Have I not made myself clear enough?" Hux growled, because she indirectly insulted him. "You will do as you are told. The uniform distracts you, too," he added as an attempt to defend his decision in his own mind.
"But I'm not some kind of novice! I know better than to let a uniform influence my perfo..."
"No discussion," he cut her off again. "You will obey or you will be discharged. Understood?"
"Yes."
"Yes, sir," he corrected her.
"Yes, sir," she repeated reluctantly.
"For the future... Do not forget who you're speaking to," Hux added harshly, when in fact he was somehow excited by her small disobedience. "You may leave."
And so she left, huffing and puffing, and neither of them was pleased with the conversation. Hux was angry with himself. Not only did he just lose what he liked to look at, he made her upset with him, and the latter thing was definitely not what he had intented. But if this was to made things easier for him, so that he wouldn't need to remind himself not to stare, then it was the right thing.
He didn't expect her to talk back to him, but he kind of enjoyed it when she did, knowing well he will get his way anyway.
He shook his head to himself. These thoughts were merely proof that this meeting should not have happened, but Hux didn't like to admit he was wrong. All in all, he fell asleep with her on his mind.
The next day, he also woke up with Y/N on his mind, wondering if she obeyed his orders. He kept himself in suspense for a while, checking all the work stations before hers on purpose, and reaching her last.
And there she was, sitting by the same console as the day before, but this time in a uniform which was not as tight as the one before. He liked that she listened - but he immediately regretted what he asked of her. Of course her previous attire was what his heart and mind liked much better, and he couldn't believe he took it away from himself... Himself.
Stars, he had no idea what was happening to him. He couldn't recall feeling like this about anyone, the need to look at them, think about them... And, after last night's talk, he started thinking about something else.
He wanted to touch her.
Nothing special yet. He just wondered whether her body was as smooth as it was curvy, whether her hair was as delicate as it seemed to be when it shone in the starlight... And how she would react to this - as fiercely as before? Her personality was also something he wanted to know more of.
Of course, Hux was a general, her superior. There were many things he could force her to do, but this was not the way he wanted it to be. Even better, he wondered if he could make her touch him first instead... This thought scratched a particular part of his brain and was just the beginnig of something he didn't knew was becoming a fantasy.
That day he had some work to do, many messages to send and receive, so Y/N came off of his mind for hours. He, on the other hand, was all she was thinking about that day.
To say she was pissed off was an understatment. She tried to turn her anger into harder work but couldn't stop thinking about the General and his order, which seemed just ridiculous to her. She understood that he had to keep discipline among everyone he commanded, however, she really doubted her uniform being "too tight" was about to make everyone question authority.
"What did the General tell you?" asked her friend from the next console, but she only shook her head.
"None of your business."
"Is that so? You seem pissed."
"Keep your nose to your console," she hissed, then sighed deeply.
Her parents had also served at the army and taught her to obey all the orders, no matter how strange they were. Hux, however, pissed her off in a way she couldn't explain. There was a conflict in her mind where she didn't want to be mad, because she was somehow attracted to him - the visit in his office only confirmed that for her - and, on the other hand, she'd like to slap him in the face.
He didn't approach her at all that day and she did start to feel better. The emotions cooled down, and she stopped taking the situation so seriously.
"I'm taking this too personally," she thought to herself. "He probably tells people to do things like that all the time."
Another day passed by, and when Hux saw her again at her console, he decided it was time to fix what he had broken. He thought about it at night and found the way out of this. He had to - he missed her previous look and was determined to bring it back, even if it meant he would need to fight with his own desires.
So he approached her slowly, then stood right behind her, and even though she kept her eyes glued to the monitor she somehow knew it was him. A small shiver went down her spine, as she had no idea what to expect.
"Y/L/N."
"Yes, sir?" she said as she turned to him.
"Come to my office today as well," he said as he tried to decipher the look on her face. He didn't know whether it was his hope playing tricks on him but she didn't look as angry as before.
"Of course, sir."
Of course... This was something new, something he had never heard escape her mouth before. These two words showed a higher level of obedience Hux liked, that's why he walked away - he had to think about it for a little longer, and enjoy the feelings all of this caused in him.
"Again?" Y/N's co-worker asked, looking at her with wide eyes. "I'm starting to really worry about you. You might get kicked out..."
"Shut up."
"Come on, you're being so secretive about it I'm going to start thinking you two are meeting up for a hook-up."
"Only proves you're too dense to work here," she snapped in response, even though she felt a knot form in her stomach. The thought of any intimacy with the General seemed so wrong, yet so exciting at the same time. Although she knew this was not what she was going there for.
Hux was anticipating the end of her shift more than before. When she asked for permission to enter he gave it to her a bit too fast, but it was too late to change that. She entered the clean office for the second time, saying the same, boring words.
"You wanted to see me, sir."
Hux looked her up and down from behind his polished desk. The curves were gone in the bigger uniform. Before he managed to open his mouth, she spoke first:
"If it's about the uniform, I've changed it as you asked."
There was a hint of pretense in her voice, buy he dismissed it.
"Yes, I've noticed. And now you're here because of the uniform again. To put it bluntly, it was a test."
She looked absolutely astounded.
"A test? What test?"
Hux smiled to himself just a little. He was proud of the greatness of his own plan.
"I was checking if you can keep your cool... And you've failed and passed at the same time."
"What?" she blurted out, at this point completely confused. The Academy may have prepared her for war, but certainly not for General Hux.
"You should've obeyed me without any doubts, however... You're in luck I do appreciate when someone can fight back and stand up for themselves. And in the end, you did listen."
"So what does it mean, sir?" she asked as she still didn't understand whether she should be sorry or proud.
"I wish to get to know you better," he said, quite shocked he did say that aloud. "I value hard work and knowledge and want to know where it comes from."
"Studying, mainly," she replied without hesitation, and that made him raise his eyebrows.
"Feisty one, aren't you?"
"I would prefer to call myself confident, sir," Y/N replied with a playful smile on her face as she quickly realised the General wasn't as serious as she thought.
He liked that smile.
"That I've noticed."
He also noticed something else - something was keeping him from her like a barrier, and this something was his desk. He wanted to see her from up close, curious what new things he could uncover. There was no one around to see them, so he didn't have to worry.
He stood up and slowly walked past the desk with his hands clasped behind his back, and then stopped right in front of her, just a tiny bit too close. He hadn't intended that, but his pride didn't let him step back, so he stayed there, as if glued to the shiny ground.
Y/N held her breath. Yet again, she had no idea what to expect of him, but the sudden proximity did not leave her unimpressed. For the first time she could see his face so clearly and, even in the dim light, she could see the lightest freckles etched on his pale nose and cheeks, almost invisible due to the lack of sunlight. She liked them - they kind of broke his perfect, spotless image he always created and just made him seem more human.
Her face from up close fasicinated him even more. He remembered the colour of her eyes, but now it looked a little brighter as the stars from behind the window sparkled in her irises. Baby hairs started to poke out of the perfect bun after a long day... This did ruin the idealism he adored so strongly, however back then he didn't care that much. He wasn't much taller than her, yet he did look at her from above which he enjoyed a lot. For a split second Hux wondered how she would look if she actually laid down below...
He composed himself quickly, as if scared she'd read his mind somehow. Yet again, he didn't know what was happening to him, but this girl made him feel and think things he hadn't experienced before. And it has already become quite addictive.
They were standing there in silence, staring into each other's eyes, blocked from touching each other in any way by their hands still on their backs. They had no physucal handcuffs, but the air of professionalism kept them even more stiff.
"Well, regarding your uniform... You can go back to your previous one," Hux said after he had finally came to his senses (even though Y/N didn't seem to mind their silent moment).
"Thank you," she replied with a small smile, her anger long gone and forgotten.
"Sir," he corrected her, this time not because of the rules, more to just hear her say that word again.
She wanted to roll her eyes at him. For a moment, despite the work talk, the atmosphere between them became so intimate she thought it was alright to drop the formalities just this once.
"Sir," she repeated regardless.
After that, there came another silence. Hux was quickly searching for an excuse to make her stay a bit longer but he couldn't find any. There was just something in the air, it felt so right, so tense yet so calm, so weird yet so pleasant, and both of them could sense it, however neither of them could lose themselves to it just yet.
"You may leave," he said finally, defeated. He decided he would just prepare himself better for the next time. Yes, that he was sure of - there will be a next time. Of course, he could call her to his office all day if he wanted to, but there were still other people who may notice his sudden interest in her, something he simply could not let happen. For now, he had to let her go.
She bowed her head slightly, and then walked to the door before turning to him one last time.
"See you tomorrow, General."
Then she left, having absolutely no idea what she had done to him with just those four words. He knew it was guaranteed she'd be on his mind all night and this time he had nothing against it.
Hux had the time to visit Y/N's work station not until the afternoon as he had many duties to take care of, but when he finally did, he was not disappointed.
He found her standing with her back to him, talking to one of the engineers, her uniform as tight as it was before. He could not help but look at her thighs, and then a little bit higher, to see the body he came to like. Her waist also looked amazing, kept in place by her shiny belt. He had to walk up to her and get her attention somehow - and this time, he had a better plan.
"Are the two of you done chatting?" he asked loudly, appearing between her and the engineer out of nowhere.
"Oh, General," said the surprised boy. "We were discussing the new machi..."
"Machines are important, but right now I need Y/L/N to assist me," he said firmly, even though it was a lie. Or, maybe it wasn't, if one could define "assistance" as satisfying someone's selfish wishes.
Despite her conversation being important, Y/N already knew better than to disobey the General. Besides, she didn't mind being with him alone again.
"We'll talk later, Marlen," she suggested and Hux scowled at the engineer. Talk later? What for? He didn't like him at first sight, unaware it was the first hint of jealousy speaking through him.
"Y/L/N, follow me," he added even more firmly. Marlen looked at Y/N with understanding - he knew she had to listen to the General.
"Coming, sir," she said after exchanging one last look with Marlen she turned to walk behind Hux who was already a few steps ahead.
Yes, please do come.
He led her to his office in silence while she was bursting with excitement, curious as to what task he could have specifically for her. That's why, when they entered the office again, she couldn't resist asking:
"What can I help you with, sir?"
"Sit," he said and she noticed there was a new black chair by the desk, opposite his. "We're not working. It's your break," he added as he took his usual seat.
"Break?" She raised her eyebrows, sitting down. "I've worked here for quite some time now and I'm finding out just now we are allowed to have breaks?"
"You are only if I say so," he replied in an obvious tone, his eyes focused on a datapad in his hands.
He looked handsome like this. Y/N could see a tiny bit of a vein on his neck when he kept his head turned towards the datapad, and his jaw seemed even sharper than usually. His forehead frowned, green eyes focused, long fingers skilfully tapping away... She hoped she could see him like that more often.
"Now," he began, still concentrated on the screen, "do you like tarine tea?"
This was another thing that took Y/N by surprise. She expected many things, but being asked about her tastes was definitely not one of them. However, this time she didn't question the General's methods.
"Yes, I do, sir."
"Hot or chilled?"
He finally looked up at her with eyes that could pierce a heart. Y/N knew she preferred the warmer version, but when he did that, she began to question whether she needed any more warmth than her own body was already giving her.
"Hot," she said slowly, looking straight into his eyes, in a way it made him feel a weird tingle in his body. He swallowed hard, and looked at the datapad again while Y/N was contemplating whether she had really described just the tea.
Less than a minute later, a droid appeared in the office with two cups of tea, both of them hot enough to be still steaming. The droid set them on his desk and left, making the situation even weirder.
All of that led Y/N to two conclusions: one, Hux really invited her for long enough to drink a cup of tea and two, nobody was going to join them. And she liked both of these.
"So... Is there anyone bothering you around here?" he asked with his eyes still on the datapad. It wasn't what he wanted to ask her first, but her talk with that engineer changed everything. So, "is there anyone bothering you" really meant "give me an excuse to get rid of him".
"How'd you know?" she asked in surprise and he immediately turned to look at her.
Did he hit the jackpot?
"It's that engineer you were talking to, correct?"
"No, he is fine," she replied much to his disappointment. "It's the guy working next to me. Asking questions all the time, he even suggested..."
She bit her tongue. She wasn't really going to tell him about the hook-up thing, right? She had already crossed borders she never thought possible with him, but this was way too strange.
"What did he suggest, Y/L/N?" Hux asked firmly, obviously wanting to know everything.
"I... I'm not sure if I should say it... Sir." She added the word "sir" quickly in hopes of softening the situation.
"I order you to," he said without missing a beat, and she knew there was no point in resisting.
"He... He suggested you and I are having an affair, sir."
Y/N closed her eyes for a second, as if bracing for impact, but it never came. Hux just raised his eyebrows, then let out a cold laugh.
"Ha. He'll be gone tomorrow," he said quickly and turned to his datapad again. "If anyone else bothers you, report it to me immediately."
Inside, Hux was alarmed. If someone already suggested something like this, it meant he'd be in bigger trouble if anything ever happened between him and her. He realised he may have to be a bit more subtle in approaching her in the presence other people.
Y/N, on the other hand, was surprised yet again. Why was he so nice to her? Was all of this just because he was scared for his image?
Or... Was this his idea of a date?
No, she said to herself. It couldn't be a date, it was just a fantasy caused by his sudden interest in her. He was her superior and someone as rule-loving as Hux couldn't possibly break them just for her. Besides, they were still on professional terms most of the time. She just needed to figure out where all of this sudden kindness came from.
"Drink your tea. It's best when still hot," he said, having turned to her once again.
They reached for the cups at the same time - actually, for the same cup.
Their fingertips, both still in gloves, brushed for a split second. Neither of them would have probably noticed if it had been someone else, but...
"I apologise, sir," Y/N said quickly, taking her hand back as fast as if hit by an electric shock.
He was also recovering from this unexpected touch, even though it didn't satisfy what he had wanted. This was barely a touch, an accidental one at that, nothing like the one he'd like to feel.
"Take whichever one you'd like," he said, leaning back.
So she did, then he took the other cup, and both of them sipped the hot beverage in silence.
"Do you like it?" he asked, wanting to be reassured. However, she thought this may be just another test.
"I do, but I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy it too long... I have a few more tasks to finish today."
"No, you're done for the day," he said, making her even more confused than ever before. Giving her so many breaks, when normally she worked until her eyes couldn't stay open? It had to be a test.
"And I suppose I have to work extra hours tomorrow?" she asked, thinking she was smart, but had no idea she was far from the truth.
"No."
Another answer she had not expected. She didn't know what to say to that, so she just took another sip of the bitter tea. Meanwhile, Hux was about to begin the plan of "knowing to get her better" as he had intented.
"Who are your parents?" he asked bluntly and she set her cup back onto the shiny surface of the desk.
"They're not around anymore. But they served in the army as well. Both died in an explosion."
"So you do have a reputation to live up to."
"I do," she confirmed, then decided it wouldn't hurt to kiss up to him a little. "That's why I work under your command, right, sir?"
He glanced at her, suppressing a cocky smile.
A minx, she was. But he liked that.
"I condemn ass-lickers, Y/L/N," he said dryly despite his real emotions.
"I am simply stating facts, sir," she replied as though she had no idea what he was talking about. She got comfortable and crossed her legs, turning on his imagination again. One second - that was all the time he allowed himself to look at her thighs, material on them even tighter than before. If he had kept looking, he might have gone crazy.
"I'll let it slide just this once. Don't get too confident."
"What if I do it again?" she asked as she wasn't able stop herself, giving him a grin. She couldn't believe she was teasing him and that their conversation got a little... Flirty?
Hux got so lost in the moment he even forgot to scold her about missing the formalities again.
"Then I might need to impose a punishment on you," he said with the smalles hint of teasing in his voice.
"Oh, I would not want that, sir..."
"Yes, you wouldn't." He eyed her up and down, thinking about a punishment he would not dare mention aloud. He scolded himself in his mind for this.
To hide her smirk, she immediately went for another sip of the tea. To cope with his emotions, he looked back at his datapad even though there was nothing to look at.
She stayed in his office until the very last drop of her tea, giving him answers to a few more questions about herself to find out what he wanted, and it was pleasant to both.
She was already standing and about to leave, when she went to ask him one last time:
"So... I really don't need to work overtime tomorrow?"
"Do I need to repeat myself?" He raised his eyebrows.
"No, of course not. Thank you, sir."
"Go straight to your quarters," he commanded and she nodded.
"I will. Good night, sir."
Another set of words that made him feel good. He didn't reply to keep up his cold persona, but in his heart he did wish her a good night, too.
A few minutes after she left, he called a droid again and demanded her personal files. It was the first time he was actually paying attention to the details in someone's profile, from measurements to Academy results...
However, the most interesting thing was also the most trivial one. Her first name he hadn't known before - Y/N...
Of course, he wouldn't use it, that would be inappropriate, but who knew when it might come in handy?
At the same time, Y/N plopped onto her small bed with an everlasting beam on her face. Even if this meeting really was another test, she enjoyed it a lot and loved the fact she got to spend some one-on-one moments with him.
However, it had its flaws. She knew she wasn't supposed to feel any attraction to him whatsoever, but how could she not, when he walked around looking handsome and doing all these nice things for her? At least no one was going to judge her for her thoughts as they became more and more unprofessional when it came to the General.
The next day brought surprises for both of them. The General kept his promise - Y/N's annoying co-worker was no longer there and she had no idea what happened to him. Unfortunately, this guy wasn't the only person missing. Hux was nowhere to be seen and it kind of saddened her as she'd hoped to see him again, especially after spending a big part of her night thinking about him.
He was not happy about not seeing her either, but in the early morning he was called for a meeting he simply could not miss. To his irritation, the meeting was to be held somewhere else - he didn't even care to know where, but he knew it would take him a few days, and that annoyed him even more. His absence made him realise he wanted to go back home not only beacause his own chamber was the sole place he could feel comfortable in, but also because... There was no Y/N to chat with.
Those few days without her made him realise how attached he became in such a short time. He wanted to see her again, invite her to his office, maybe offer tea again... Just because.
On the other hand, it was good they did lose contact for a while. He hoped individuals like the the co-worker he got rid of - or anyone else who may have spread rumours - would forget about them. He was very self-conscious about all of that, unaware that nobody has really noticed his new interest yet. He only regretted he couldn't inform her about his departure, wondering whether she even noticed his absence.
She did. Four days passed by without him and she began to worry something may have happened to him - so she found a sneaky way to find out.
Y/N took a datapad with nothing important on it and then walked up to an officer who seemed to have taken over the General's duties.
"Excuse me, officer, do you know where I can find General Hux? I have important reports for him," she lied. She had no reports whatsoever.
"General Hux has left for an urgent meeting. He should be back tomorrow."
"Oh, I see... Thank you, sir."
A wave of relief rushed through her body as she was assured the General was safe and sound. She was also glad he was coming back so soon and could only imagine what things he'd surprise her with next.
It was noon the next day when she was walking back to her console after another talk with Marlen when she almost bumped into the General - and almost caught him staring at her.
"Oh... My apologies, sir." She took a careful step back before they could touch. "Good to see you again," she added, gracing him with a small smile.
Hux felt his throat become a bit dry. For some reason, she seemed exceptionally attractive to him that day, and he had no idea it was mostly because of the pheromones he was breathing in, standing so close - she was near ovulation. Pure nature made things even more complicated for him then before.
"Are you on your way to work?" he asked and she nodded, her cheeks flushed slightly.
"Yes. Is there anything I can assist you with, General?" she asked despite it being unnecessary. She just wanted to talk to him a tiny bit longer.
"Not yet, but I'll keep you in mind."
That he was definitely going to do.
He couldn't linger somewhere around her work station too much as he also had much to do, but it didn't mean he wasn't able to steal a glance or two, or maybe ten. The pheromones really played with him, and while Hux may have known his way around technology, he certainly didn't understand human instincts.
The pheromones were barely the beginning. Y/N didn't even know she was going to drive her commander insane the very next day when, for the first time he's ever seen, she came to work with a ponytail instead of a bun.
His imagination went wilder than ever. It took him more force than the Force itself not to visualise himself yanking on her hair, and all the willpower he had not to try it right then and there, then explain it to others as "punishment". And they had never even touched each other...
Who knew a ponytail could be the death of General Hux?
This was the day he realised it was no longer just some kind of attraction... He desired her, both body and personality, in the most hungry way, and it frustrated him greatly that he should not even think about her in that manner.
He didn't even speak to her that day, worried he may forget to bite his tongue. He had to figure it all out himself before talking to her about anything as he had never felt this way in his life about anyone.
This was the first night he fell asleep with her on his mind and his hand between his thighs.
He was ashamed of it, but he missed the moment when the desire inside him became too much to handle, and now there was no way out... Other than losing her from sight, or...
The next day came back the deathly ponytail. He resisted the urge to invite her to his office again all day, but when he was about to sleep...
"Open, subordinate!"
Y/N's eyes went wide open as she heard a stormtrooper's robotic voice right behind the door of her quarters. She was just about to fall asleep and almost jumped at the sudden noise. Fixing her short night gown, she stood up with a yawn and opened the door to see two stormtroopers awaiting her.
"What?" she murmured, irritated especially by the light on the corridor.
"You're coming with us," said the one on her left.
"Where?"
"General Hux expects you immediately."
Thousands of bubbles of excitement burst in her stomach as she suppressed a smile. Something nice was about to happen, she knew that. Suddenly her slumber being interrupted didn't bother her as much.
"Just let me get dressed, dammit."
The stormtroopers exchanged looks and then shrugged as she closed the door to change. There was no time for the uniform - she just put on a shirt and simple black trousers she had not worn in a while, then combed her hair only once or twice as she didn't want to keep him waiting.
She took nothing with her as she had no idea what he might want from her. She locked her room and the stormtroopers escorted her to his office, then even entered with her.
The lamps were all off, however a fair amount of light was coming from the windows, making all the polished surfaces shine in the dark. Hux was standing with his back to them, by the window, observing the galaxy. He had his uniform on, but his long coat was missing.
"We brought her, General," said one of the stormtroopers.
"Leave us," Hux commanded and the stormtroopers quickly obeyed.
The door closed behind them, but the General didn't even budge, neither did his hands, clasped firmly behind his back. He was simply preparing himself to look at her, calming down his own instincts.
"Sending stormtroopers for me at night?" she asked after a moment of silence. "Am I really here for punishment this time, General?" she added teasingly.
He smiled to himself a little. That confidence of hers could really get her in trouble - the only question was whether he was going to be the one putting her in said trouble.
"You're on thin ice, Y/L/N."
She couldn't help but stifle a giggle.
"Forgive me the lack of my uniform, then. I didn't expect..."
She trailed off as he turned to her immediately - he was way too curious to see how she looked like.
Y/N's words got stuck in her throat when she saw him like that, all in black, his silhouette lit up from behind. He radiated power; the whole galaxy was behind him, and he stood there as if he were its emperor, causing her knees to weaken.
He also liked what he was seeing. Especially her hair, for the first time loose, falling to the sides of her face... And influencing his imagination yet again.
"You won't need the uniform."
Y/N gulped. Did these words have double meaning or did he just not think them through?
He noticed the double meaning, too, but it was too late.
"I suppose I'm not here for work, then," she said boldly.
He had no answer to that. They both knew it wasn't for work, and they both didn't mind... But neither of them was ready to admit it.
Both of them were looking for something to break that tense silence. They were meters from each other, yet they could somehow feel the warmth of the other person. The air seemed to be vibrating solely from their breaths.
"Come and take a look," he said eventually, gesturing towards the window. It was an another excuse; he just wanted to see her up close, especially in these new circumstances.
She did as she was told, actually eager to watch the galaxy from his enormous windows. She didn't really have the time to do this, and the small viewport in her quarters didn't even expose half the beauty of the sky.
"This is breathtaking," she said as she found herself next to the window, almost devouring the view with her eyes.
"Indeed," he replied, observing from the side how all of the galaxy reflected in her eyes.
"I wanted that when I was a kid," she began, so inspired by the view of thousands of stars etched on the dark sky she forgot she was talking to her superior for a moment.
"What exactly?" he asked with genuine interest.
"See the whole galaxy. Be able to travel through it, visit all the planets if I could... Although I'm definitely not welcome everywhere."
Hux stepped back and found himself behind her, placing his head just above her right shoulder. He liked that a lot; not only could he feel in control, but also have a moment of proximity without being too blunt.
She felt a shiver down her spine. Even though he was not touching her in any way, the warmth of his body was radiating onto hers, making her feel secure and under his absolute authority. This time she wasn't able to consider whether it was a test as her mind simply refused to think about anything other than him being this close.
"There will come a day when we will be the rulers of the galaxy. Every planet will belong to us and they will bow to us wherever we go."
"We?"
"The First Order, of course," he clarified and she wanted to hit her forehead on the window. How could she ask something so stupid? Of course he was talking about the First Order, not the two of them... She got too lost in the moment, and that was a major wake-up call.
"Yes... Of course." She pretended she understood him from the start.
Hux glanced at her hair and the unbearable desire to grasp it came back, that's why he didn't even dare look anywhere lower.
"Do you still prefer hot tarine tea?" he asked loudly, his breath caressing her ear and creating yet another wave of shivers.
"I do, sir."
"Take a seat, then," he ordered as he walked away from her to sit behind his desk.
It must have been a dream, but she got to see him bent over his datapad again. The veins, the jaw, the focus making her fall for him a little bit more than before...
"May I ask you something, sir?" she said while he was tapping away.
He let out a bitter laugh.
"I have an awful feeling you're going to do it no matter what I say," he replied, still focused on the screen.
"Me? I would not dare disobey you, General." She put her hand on her chest, pretending to be outraged.
"Would you?" A cocky smile crossed his face again. "I know you would."
"Never."
He turned to look at her, tension rising. He stood up from his chair and put his arms wide apart on the edges of the desk, showing her clearly who was in charge of the situation - and she felt that in her abdomen.
"Would you do anything I asked of you?"
"Yes, sir," she replied, in that moment feeling she could really do anything for him.
And even though there was a few things he wanted from her, he had to stop himself before even a letter came out of his mouth. Her being in his office for absolutely no reason other than his desire was already unprofessional.
"I'll keep you to it," he said firmly, then took a deep breath. "So what was your question?"
Before she could answer, the door opened again and a droid rolled in with the tea, just like the last time. When he left, having set two cups on the desk, she said loudly:
"My question was... Why are you being so kind to me, sir? I'm not ungrateful, simply curious."
His fear came true. She asked about his intentions and he didn't know whether he was ready to reveal them, not to mention he shouldn't. He knew he had to choose his words carefully, that's why a moment had passed before he answered.
"I hope you do keep private everything you hear in this office."
"Of course, sir," she replied truthfully.
He nodded, then took one of the cups and brought it to his lips.
"Then I'll just say that... You have caught my interest."
The answer was perfect. On one hand, he revealed a bit of his attraction, on the other, depending on interpretation, it might have been purely related to work. He got interested because of her skills... Right?
Another blissful sensation took place in Y/N's abdomen. Although she knew better than to have high hopes, at least she had some confirmation she wasn't just imagining things.
"I'm flattered, sir."
"You should be," he replied, then quickly hid his smile behind the cup, keeping his eyes on her. Stars, he could look at her like that for hours.
She was just as focused on him as he was on her. The tension in the room was constantly rising, they could both feel it, but neither knew what to do about it. Every second their eyes were on each other's their veins were becoming to burn more and more, the speed of their heartbeats increasing...
And then came a call, piercing through their tense silence like the loudest alarm. It brought them back to reality faster than anything. Soon, a small holo appeared to his left.
"I told you not to disturb me!" he shouted with pure anger in his voice.
"It's urgent, General. The Supreme Leader wants to see you in ten minutes," replied a female voice from the holo.
Y/N sighed quietly. She didn't even get to talk to him much...
"I'll be there," he grumped, extremely frustrated his meeting with her was about to be cut short.
The holo disappeared and an exasperated sigh left the General's mouth. He took a moment to take it all in, and then looked back at her.
"Return to your quarters. I... Will talk to you soon."
She expected that, but felt disappointed nevertheless.
"Have a good meeting, sir," she said as she stood up and he did the same.
He gestured towards her almost full cup. "You can take your tea."
She was about to lift her cup when he grabbed his coat and, for some unexplainable reason, had a problem with putting it on. She didn't hesitate to forget about her tea and walked up to him.
"Let me help you, sir."
Her proposal surprised him greatly, however, of course he didn't mind. He let her grab the coat and skilfully slide it onto his shoulders, and the touch, even just through material, didn't leave them unimpressed. It still wasn't what he really wanted from her, but every touch was worth the sensations, even the smallest ones.
He turned to face her and fixed the coat one last time.
"Have a good night," he wished her sincerely as an indirect thank you.
She knew it was big. General Hux wishing good night to anyone? Maybe she was, in fact, asleep and it all wasn't real...
For a moment there, the atmosphere changed completely, and nobody remembered about professional details. Just for a split second, she wasn't talking to the great general - but simply to the man she was incredibly attracted to.
"You too," she whispered, then left, surprisingly without being scolded about missing the "sir".
When Y/N found herself back in her bed, she could not stop thinking about Hux - it was a given after everything he did and told her. This time, she wasn't even trying to stop herself, she just admitted in her own mind he was hot, and could easily turn her on if he wanted to.
Laying almost in pure darkness, she glanced at the cup he had given her, already empty, and remembered the look he had given her from above his tea. Just the thought made her warmer and her hand unconsciously began to travel underneath her night gown...
"No, what am I doing?" she whispered to herself, removing her hand from between her thighs. "He's your superior, put yourself together... You can't be thinking about him like this..." She shook her head.
Her dreams that night thought otherwise.
The next morning Y/N overheard the discussion between the officers and found out that the Supreme Leader had sent General Hux on some kind of mission. She wasn't happy he was missing again, but at least she knew where he went to.
What is more, a new co-worker finally appeared at the console next to her as a replacement for the one Hux had removed. To her surprise, it was someone she knew - Malia, a girl she had trained with at the Academy, so they needed no extra introductions.
Y/N was particularly smiley that day. It was thanks to her dreams; they revolved around the General, obviously, and him doing things she would not dare speak about. Besides, her body might have been in front of the console, but her mind was still in the last evening, by the window, with a muscular body behind her... Oh, she was going to be such a useless worker that day.
"Anyone on your mind?" Malia asked curiously as it was rather rare for someone from First Order to smile that much, if at all. The two of them were walking to dinner and reliving the memories from the Academy, when Malia finally gave in to the need of asking about the mysterious smile.
"Actually, there is someone," she admitted as her expression was way too obvious. "But I'm not going to tell you anything else."
"Oh, you've got that lovey-dovey look all over you. It's only a matter of time before I find out who you fancy," she said proudly and then crossed her arms, wondering. "Let's see... It's Marlen, isn't it?"
"I'm not talking about this," Y/N replied firmly.
"So it's him."
"Whatever you like."
Oh, if only she did fantasise about Marlen... Things would be so much simpler. They could get together, maybe hook up in their quarters and, if careful, keep up a longer relationship.
But no, it was not her equal, she was deep into fantasising about her superior, something she knew was not right, but oh, it only made it more tempting. She also knew there was no way any of her fantasies could come true, yet she was holding onto that one percent of hope...
And then Malia was teasing her about Marlen during eating, and Y/N became self-conscious. She definitely wasn't the most attractive girl on the ship and didn't have much she prided herself on when it came to appeareance. Moreover, the object of her dreams was the General. She bet he could have any girl he desired at the snap of his fingers, and if he wanted sex, there were probably tens of prostitutes he could choose from. Why would he risk his reputation for a fling with a subordinate? Marlen was the guy she could hit on, not the General himself...
It made her feel kind of defeated, and lose even that one percent of hope. That's why she didn't care anymore.
The night was left to her, her fingers and the impossible fantasy.
While Y/N was busy worrying about how she looked, Hux, when he wasn't taking care of his duties, was already planning their next meeting. He was beginning to run out of excuses to see her despite having already admitted to his interest. On one hand, as her superior he could call her any time he wished, on the other, he did realise it might become weird if there was no explicit reason.
But he could not miss out on an opportunity to invite her again. His new excuse was easy to come up with; he decided he'd just say he wanted to make up for that previous meeting, cut short by the Supreme Leader himself.
He'd been happy with Hux lately, that's why the General felt secure. However, the situation had its flaws, too - he had more work to do and, as a result, had to be away from the woman he came to desire so much. He wondered if she was thinking about him, too... And then decided to do something to make her think about him.
It was the sixth day of his absence. Y/N had a particularly hard day, and he knew that, as he ordered one of the droids to keep an eye on her and report straight to him. He also knew she was on her period, involuntarily, because the droid scanned her for vital functions and other health-related issues. It made him think that maybe he was checking way too much, but, on the other hand, he wanted to use it for nothing but good things.
She returned to her quarters that day with a hand over her stomach, her cramps getting worse with every minute. She plopped onto her bed, wondering what to do to relieve the pain, when minutes later she heard a robotic voice in front of her door.
"An order!"
"Order?" she said to herself, then stood up reluctantly to open the door. As soon as she did that, a droid came inside with a tray, then set it on her nightstand. She saw some food and a cup, but didn't take the time to study it as she was absolutely disoriented.
"What is this?"
"I was ordered to deliver it here," the robotic voice replied.
"What? Are you sure it's for me?" she asked as droids never delivered anything not work related to anyone other than the highest officers. She was a subordinate who had to take care of it herself... And she certainly didn't ask for a droid to send her food.
"Y/N Y/L/N," it replied. "The order was for: Y/N Y/L/N."
The droid rolled out of the room, leaving her flabbergasted. Who ordered the food for her, when she clearly didn't do it?
She sat down again and took a look on the tray. A hot beverage and a dessert of some sort, one she hadn't even seen before, one that was definitely not available for people her rank. Its smell was sweet, fruity, almost ambrosial, almost intoxicating...
She brought the cup to her lips and another scent, a familiar one this time, reached her nostrils. She took a sip.
A bitter taste. Tarine tea.
Lots of people in the First Order enjoyed it, since it was as bitter as their personalities, but there were not so many people who could order it whenever they wanted. If there was anyone who could...
It was the General.
She really hoped it was from him. It would mean he did think about her and her hopes would be restored... She promised herself she would ask him about it when he comes back - the curiosity was stronger than the fear of being ridiculed.
But it had to be him. The tarine tea, the luxurious dessert... The only question was whether it was a coincidence or he somehow knew she was having a bad day. All in all, the hot tea and the delicious dessert - the most delicious one she's ever tasted - made her pain much more easier to endure.
Hux came back after three more days, definitely ready to meet Y/N again. He was sincerely happy to see her, despite the fact that she was talking to that bloody engineer yet again. He began talking to one of the officers just to wait for her to finish, and then almost bumped into her on purpose.
"Now, what is this?" he asked, acting as if she was the one who provoked the encounter. "Staring at your commander instead of working?"
She smiled widely. She missed him, and even though she imagined him next to herself every night, it was nothing compared to seeing him in reality.
"My apologies, sir. It's just good to see you again," she said sincerely and his face twitched. She could see he was trying his best not to smile back.
"Come to my office with the reports today," he said, although both of them knew very well there were no reports to give him. "I want all of the reports from when I was gone," he added loudly for passing employees to hear.
She suppressed the next smile carefully. "Certainly, sir."
He was about to walk past her to resist staring at her ponytail yet again, but stopped just a step away.
"Immediately after your shift," he added harshly, and she just bowed her head in response, excitement taking over her whole body.
Never has she ever anticipated the end of her shift as much as that day. She entered his office with much more confidence than before. It was still the same: dark, shiny... And a free chair in front of his desk was waiting for her.
"Good evening, sir," she greeted him, going a step further in losing their professionalism.
"A good evening indeed," he replied to her, giving her a glance from above his datapad. How could this not be a good evening, when she was there and this time he was sure the Supreme Leader won't disturb him?
"Why are you not sitting?" he asked after a while, seeing with the corner of his eye that she was still up and with her hands behind her back.
"I was waiting for your permission, sir," she replied in an obvious tone.
He couldn't believe he forgot himself so easily. She wasn't the same as in his fantasties, when they had dropped the professional customs a long time ago... In reality, it was better to let go of them one at a time, and not all of them. He took a deep breath, because he knew that what he was about to say was risky, to say the least.
"Let's say you can sit here without my permission from now on."
Y/N raised her eyebrows, but then grinned immediately.
"Thank you," she said as she took her seat, and he let himself show her the smallest of smiles, in spite of his eyes still being focused on the datapad.
"What's with your sudden change of hairstyles?" he continued to inquire, as another ponytail sparked unspoken scenes in his head.
"Buns hurt my scalp a lot, they cause migraines... I wanted to minimise the pain and still look professional, so I switched to ponytails," she explained, unsure whether she was going to be scolded.
"Efficient," he nodded his head to himself. "I can appreciate that."
"Learning from the best, sir."
He rolled his eyes.
"We've had a talk about ass-lickers, Y/L/N."
"I'm simply repaying for your kindness to me."
He simply shook his head while she adored his jawline for the thousandth time, not turning away from the screen.
"Untie your hair now if it hurts."
She didn't even ask if he was being hurt. She gladly grabbed the hairtie and pulled it off while he was stealing careful glances of her, loving the sight of her hair falling to her sides, her hand going through it to style it.
"How have things been here during my absence?"
"The ship has been take..."
"I already know about the ship," he cut her off and looked her straight in the eye. "I'm asking about you."
She felt as though a flutter of butterflies appeared in her stomach and flew up to her chest, making it harder to breathe.
"Oh... I've been very well. Someone took care of me."
Hux froze for a moment.
So it was time for that talk.
"Who did?" he asked as though he had no idea what she was talking about.
"I don't know, they didn't reveal themselves." She shrugged. "But I was having a bad day and all of sudden, tea and dessert is in my quarters, and I already feel better..."
He swallowed hard. He hadn't planned whether he was going to reveal himself. On one hand, he didn't want her to think it was anyone else other than him... On the other, he shouldn't have surprised her at all, it being against the rules.
That was the constant conflict in him, which was building up to insane amounts of frustration. He did want her, but he still wasn't sure how much of it he could show.
"Well, someone must do care about your well-being," he said in a diplomatic tone, although he had an inkling she already knew.
"I wish I knew who it was, sir," she replied in a way that left him without doubts.
Yes. She definitely knew.
He cleared his throat, not looking at her and proceeded to act as if the conversation hadn't happened.
"In the meantime... I suppose you haven't eaten dinner today."
"I haven't eaten at all, actually," she confessed, which made him look at her with disappointment.
"Tsk. You act like a kid, Y/L/N."
"Oh, I beg your pardon, General." She crossed her arms on her chest. "I'm just a hard-worker. No breakfast means at least twenty more minutes."
This was, in fact, a lie. She hadn't eaten breakfast that day to start earlier, and to finish earlier... To see him earlier.
"Any worker is useless if they're a dead worker," he almost hissed, hiding sincere worry behind a very unspecific statement. "Enough of that. What would you like to eat?"
"I haven't seen what is on the menu today yet..."
"You and I both know very well you're not eating with others today."
This was bold, but Hux didn't even care. He made her feel warmth travelling up from her abdomen and spreading throughout her whole body. She would love to get rid of her uniform at the moment, for a number of reasons.
"Wow, I've never had the luxury of choosing..." she said, her eyes wide.
"Shall I choose something, then? You may be surprised."
"Yes, you choose, sir," she replied eagerly, wondering what he'll choose just for her. "Judging just by this office, I dare say we have similar taste."
"Y/L/N..." he said with a warning in his tone and she already knew what he was talking about.
"I'm not kissing up to you." She raised her arms in surrender. "It's a fact. I do like a lot of things that... Concern you. I mean, sir."
Oh, what she did to him with these words. He was forgetting all the professional matters... Because she indirectly admitted to liking him.
He had his coat on, and this situation was way too hot for a coat.
He stood up to remove it. "The food should take a moment."
He put the coat on the back of his chair and hissed suddenly. Y/N noticed how he frowned, and then closed his eyes for a second, apparently waiting for some pain to stop.
"Are you feeling unwell, sir?" she asked with clear worry in her voice. "Maybe I should call a medic for you."
"It's simply back pain. Nothing worth calling the medics for," he replied in spite of the fact that the pain did bother him a lot. However, Hux wasn't keen on showing weakness - he was the General, after all. Something as trivial as a back pain shouldn't affect him.
"Maybe I can help," Y/N suggested, and then immediately regretted she hadn't thought it through. It was, unfortunately, too late.
"You?" He raised his eyebrows, still standing.
"I do sit in front of the console all day. I know a thing or two about back pain..." She unknowingly touched her own neck. "And I learned some techniques to get rid of it."
"And how would you help me?"
She took a deep breath. She couldn't back out now, even though she was absolutely terrified of speaking the next words.
"I can... Try to use a massage technique on you, sir," she tried to say that as delicately as possible, but it still aware of how it all sounded. "Only if you'd like that, of course."
No, she did not. She did not just offer a massage to her superior.
Hux found himself in an impossible situation. He could not decline, not when he'd desired her so badly, not when he'd wanted her to touch him first and she just offered that herself. At the same time, he could not accept. It would break so many borders, the professionalism, the work ethics, and the barriers between them...
He looked her in the eye, and that was when it became clear he wouldn't be able to resist. He just needed to figure our how to calm down when she will touch him...
"I suppose it would not hurt to try... As long as you know what you're doing."
They had no idea it was this moment - the beginning of something that would not be possible to undone.
"I do, I promise."
Hux didn't need any more acts of persuasion. He slowly sat down again, taking a deep breath and still questioning his decision, even though pure excitement was flowing through him.
He lowered the back of his chair, moved it to the side of the desk and then sat down, still trying to process what was actually happening. Y/N did think she was dreaming, too, especially when she took slow steps to position herself behind him, and then took off her gloves to put them on one of the shelves next to her.
"Where does it hurt the most, sir?" she asked carefully before doing anything.
"The neck."
She nodded to herself, then sighed for courage. Here goes nothing.
The moment her hands touched his shoulders, he was hopeless. He immediately gave into her touch as she moved towards the back of his neck, and then slipped her fingers a bit underneath his collar to begin drawing small circles, pushing slightly into his skin.
He saw stars, and not the ones behind his window. One of his dreams was coming true as she carefully moved her fingers in the right spots, almost like she knew exactly where to knead. Bliss has completely taken over him: she could try to kill him then and there, and he wouldn't even defend himself.
The reality kicked back in a little when he let out a sigh, the one of bliss and pleasure. He realised it was really happening... And despite everything, he wasn't going to stop her.
She moved her hands a bit lower under the material of the uniform, sending ripples of warmth through his entire body. He let out a grunt, forcing new sensations inside of her; she imagined him sound like that in kind of a different situation... But the sole fact that she was bare skin already made her feel tingling in her stomach.
"Is it still alright? Does it hurt, sir?"
"Yes," he breathed out, this time having to stifle a small moan as she spread her fingers wider, kneading harder. He was glad she couldn't see his face.
Her face, however, didn't look much different. She could feel each and every breath he was taking, and this made her imagine his bare chest, heaving while she was gracing him with more pleasure.
"Then it's working."
She kept on kneading, sometimes pressing harder on purpose, just to hear another noise from him. He tried to suppress them at first, only to decide a moment later that it was no use.
Her hands had already become hot from massaging, so when she touched the cold part of his shoulders, his eyes rolled back.
"Y/N, for..."
She stopped in her tracks.
"You know... My name?" she asked in disbelief and he wanted to hit his own forehead. Saying her name was one step too far.
"I shouldn't have used it," he murmured as an indirect apology, but she wasn't offended at all.
"I see where this comes from, but... Only I've heard it," she explained, still with her hands on his shoulders, unmoving. "And I will not tell a soul," she added in a whisper.
Hux became completely defenceless when he felt her breath on his ear.
"I can call you by your name..." he began hesitantly, "...but this has to be kept between us."
"Obviously, sir."
He hesitated once again.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but... You can drop the sir when we're alone."
This made her extremely happy. And to think not so long ago he corrected her every time she missed it...
Y/N moved to stand in front of him and see his face and, just like that, they were both completely lost in the eyes of one another.
"Can I know your name, then?" she asked, pushed by happiness and curiosity. It really was a special evening - otherwise she would have never dared to ask.
"Armitage," he revealed and her face lit up. She knew he had to really trust her to say thar, and she valued that.
"I like it," she admitted. "And before you say it - I'm not kissing up."
"You're always kissing up," Hux replied, allowing himself a small smile to tease her.
"It's not my fault you..."
There came an alert that someone was behind the door. Y/N almost jumped away from the General and quickly sat back on her chair.
"Come in!" he called, having immediately changed his tone.
It was only a droid. It finally brought the food - and the tea - Hux had ordered for the two of them. When the droid left, he remembered to lock the door, and both of them sighed with relief.
"Should I continue?" Y/N asked carefully, eager to get her hands back on him despite the amazingly smelling dishes the droid had set on his desk.
Of course he wanted her to continue... But who knew what could happen if there really was no one to distrub them now? When it came to her, he didn't trust his own willpower.
"You've helped enough. Let's eat for now. You must be hungry, right?" he said as he remembered the story about her breakfast.
This took her by surprise. He... He really did care about her. She could feel it, she could see it, and he confirmed it with his words.
"I'm... You're... I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me." She said truthfully. "I don't know how to repay you."
He could think of a way which he wouldn't dare mention aloud.
"Let's just say you'll help me with my back pain from time to time."
"Happily," she replied sincerely, promising herself that she'd prepare better for the next time.
Together, they ate one of the most delicious dinners Y/N has ever tasted. They talked more freely this time, discussing all topics from the machines and technology to the trivial matters like taste in food, but had yet to get used to using each other's names.
Time passed incredibly fast when you were spending it with someone you liked, and the two of them were no exception. It was really late when Hux noticed she constantly covered her mouth to hide her yawns.
"You're tired," he said quietly, watching her rub her eye quickly.
"I'm not going to lie to you..." She sighed. "I had a lot of work today, yes. And all of that food made me sleepy..."
"Then as much as I enjoy conversing with you," he interrupted, "you should retire to your quarters."
Despite her sleepiness, she mustered a smile.
"You do? And suddenly I'm not kissing up again?"
He shook his head like a disappointed father, smuggling a smile as well.
"I may have let you use my name, but I'm still your superior, Y/N."
"Oh, so does it hurt the great General Hux if he gets teased a little?" She grinned.
He gave her another smile.
"I don't know why I let you get away with this."
She leaned in his chair towards him, finding herself quite close to his face. They stayed like this for a moment, both enjoying the view.
"I dare say you're fond of me. Just a little."
Or a lot, he thought.
"So go back to your room before I change my mind," he replied as there was no use in denying her claims. Not after that evening.
She stood up, her eyes never leaving his, and walked up to the door with a mischievous grin.
"Have a good night, sir," she teased.
He sighed heavily. "I might get you kicked out of the ship soon."
"And lose your back pain support? You would never."
Of course he wouldn't. And he didn't want her to leave the office, either, but he could see the tiredness taking over her whole body.
She finally left the room, but never his thoughts. When he was in his own bed minutes later, his bare back pushed into silky sheets, his mind replayed the memories of her hands on him.
The sheets were pleasant to feel, but it was nothing compared to her skin. Why couldn't she be there, still caressing his back, or maybe something else...
As she fell onto her mattress minutes later, she was thinking about him, too. Had she not been so tired, she would've never left, and she would've finished the massage right. Yet at the moment she didn't even feel like showering, her eyes closing uncontrollably as she revived the memories of him in her head.
Her room was almost completely dark. She fought with herself not to fall asleep immediately... And then she brought her hand to her nose.
It smelled like him. It was the mix of his own, individual scent she couldn't really describe and the one that lingered on the material of his uniform... She guessed it must have been some kind of cologne, which made her senses tingle. The scent woke her up immediately.
She gulped as she remembered the noises he made, and wondered what she could do to hear them again, maybe even more of them. He was really good at hiding them... Except for that one time he accidentally spoke her name, so she knew she had the power to make him forget himself.
Oh, to have the power over the General... It excited her greatly, and the heat she felt between her legs only confirmed it.
She stood up quickly to take off her uniform and then plopped onto her bed again, completely naked. What would he do if he saw her like that...? A part of her truly wished to find out.
She brought her hand to her nostrils again and couldn't resist. Laying on her back, she took a deep breath, then put her hand between her thighs, beginning to move her fingers in circular motions.
"Look what you made me do," she whispered to herself, breathing heavily. "Forgive me, Armitage."
Although she knew it was unmoral, she was unable to stop - so, inevitably, she slipped two fingers into herself.
The very same fingers were bare the next day as Y/N came to a terrifying conclusion: she had left her gloves in the General's office. There was no time for her to get new ones as she had already overslept a little, having spent a part of her night on quiet pleasure. She barely got out of the shower and went straight to work, hoping no one would notice her uncomplete uniform.
To make things worse, General did notice her gloves on his shelf when he was about to leave his office in the morning. He smiled to himself as he picked them up, then hid in the pockets of his coat as if they were his trophy. He was so going to tease her and to use this situation to his advantage... And have yet another excuse to see her.
"Y/N, your gloves are missing," Malia whispered to her friend as they sat down by their consoles.
"Shush! I know," Y/N replied in a hushed tone, glancing around to check if anyone was listening in. "I'm just hoping no one will notice, okay?"
"That may be difficult..." Malia looked somewhere behind Y/N with wide eyes. "General Hux is heading this way right now," she added in a whisper.
Shivers ran down Y/N's spine. She knew what was coming and she didn't dare check if he was really somewhere behind her. She expected she would not hear the end of it... And it was somehow thrilling.
"What is this? Where are your gloves, Y/L/N?"
His voice made her experience another shiver. She remembered last night again, both the part with him and without him, and the fantasies came back with full force.
She turned to look at him, knowing very well her body is going to face the consequences.
It took Hux unknown amounts of willpower not to smirk at her face. Both of them knew exactly what was going on, yet they had to make this a play-pretend.
"I... Must've misplaced them, sir. I apologise," she said quickly, trying to use her eyes to somehow tell him: You know very well.
He was having way too much fun to stop.
"This is unacceptable," he said in his usual cold tone. "You will be given a punishment."
Finally, he got the opportunity to give her the "punishment" and she knew very well he wasn't going to give it up. The sole thought of what he was going to do her, or make her do, was intoxicating.
"I expect you in my office an hour after your shift," he added strictly, drunk on the power he had at the moment, especially with her gloves still in his pocket.
"Yes, sir. Understood."
After that, he walked away, extremely happy with himself, already awaiting the end of the day.
"You're in trouble," said Malia.
"I know," Y/N replied, trying to look worried, even though she knew the only trouble she was going to have was with resisting her own desire.
"How could you forget the gloves?" Malia continued and her friend just sighed, hiding a smile.
"You wouldn't believe me."
Hux made sure not to speak to Y/N again so he wouldn't need to hide any more smiles. He left them for his office, where he was waiting for her slouched in his chair, his coat gone, his fingers playing with the datapad and making sure no one will bother him.
When she stood in front of him once again, he was sure it was going to be a good night.
"I'm here to receive the punishment, sir," she said with her head hung low as she tried not to laugh. Her hair was already untied.
"Now, don't pretend you're so innocent," Hux responded, shaking his head and pretending to be mad at her. "I told you I might kick you out of the ship and you're doing this..."
"Oh, you wouldn't." Y/N looked up at him with a smirk, forgetting about her act. "Look how boring you'd have it without me."
"Don't worry about my boredom. The moment Kylo Mostowiak comes here, I will have no moment of peace."
She sighed. "Yes, I know Kylo is like that..."
This took Hux by surprise. He raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean you know?"
Y/N took a deep breath, considering her next words. She knew the General wasn't Ren's biggest fan, to be fair, not many people were.
"We've been... Friends at some point, if you can say he has friends. I got to know him thanks to my parents. Of course, I haven't seen him in a while, but we're on good terms, I dare say."
Hux barely stopped himself from spitting. This was the first flaw he had found in Y/N, and he certainly didn't expect it to be connected with someone he loathed.
"Friends with Ren. Now I want to punish you even more."
"Oh, come on." Y/N rolled her eyes at him. "You already know I'm not like him."
She was right, that's why he wasn't going to push the subject of Ren any longer. He wasn't going to let him ruin his, as Hux hoped, pleasant evening.
"And he's the last person I'd like to talk about." The General sat up straight in his chair. "So, back to you and your gloves... Or lack thereof."
He pulled out said gloves out of his pocket with a triumphant smile, and it made her jaw drop.
"You! You've had them all the time, you..."
"Me what? What are you going to call me?" He sneered. "It's you who will have to win them back."
"Win?"
"What would you do to make me give them back to you?"
Y/N looked him up and down, then swallowed hard. She did feel more comfortable with him, but she didn't know if she had the courage to say what she was really thinking at that moment.
"Lots of things," she whispered eventually, averting her eyes from him.
Even though she didn't suggest anything sexual, he did feel her response below his belt, his imagination going outrageous yet again.
"But I can offer you a massage again," she added after a moment of very tense silence. "I... Came prepared today."
This intrigued him greatly.
"In what way?"
"If you allow me... I will use oils." She took out a small bottle out of her pocket. "But you will need to take off your shirt," she added, gulping as she had no idea how he would react.
Was it also an orchestrated scheme to see some of his body?
Maybe.
Lust has fully taken over his thoughts. He didn't even think about the fact it would be wrong anymore: he wanted that so badly, he wanted her.
"I can consider that..." he began carefully "...but we cannot do it here."
"Where, then?"
Hux shoved her gloves back into the pocket of his trousers and then tapped a button next to his desk - he locked the door. After that, he stood up and placed his hand on the wall behind him. There was a buzz and the shelves moved aside, revealing a secret door. He entered a code and it slid open, uncovering a new room.
"Come," he said shortly, beckoning her to follow him.
She obeyed, shoving the bottle back into her pocket. Once she crossed the threshold, the door closed behind her automatically, and she took in her surroundings in awe.
They were in a large room, even larger than the office. The floor was as shiny as all the other surfaces like the cabinets and the table, which was placed next to a couch, two armchairs and two small ottomans. All of that was standing on a wide rug. Everything was black, from the funiture to the ceiling, and the lighting was very dim, slightly reddish. There was no window, but an extra door to the right - to his bedroom, she suspected.
"Wow," she breathed out for that it was all she could think about at the moment.
"You see what you get when you're not insufferable, Y/N?" he said with a confident smile and she sent him an identical one.
"You love me being insufferable, Armitage," she retorted, but he only heard his name, loving how it sounded in her voice.
She was right.
Hux walked towards the table and unbuckled the belt around his waist - he would have never done this if he had not been devoured by lust. After that, he began slowly unbuttoning his shirt, letting her watch each and every move. She really regretted she couldn't do it herself, but that would be scandalous...
As if the whole situation wasn't scandalous already.
He finished the unbuttoning and quickly took his shirt off, then put it neatly on the table as she stood there and watched.
This was so hot.
Was he muscular? No, not so much, he was actually rather thin, but there was something about his broad shoulders and clean chest, and the veins on his neck and forearms...
When Hux finally turned to look at her, he smirked at her open mouth.
"You look like you've never seen a man without a shirt before."
"Ugh, why do all men think that?" She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. "To feel special?"
"So why are you staring?"
"Wouldn't you stare if I took my shirt off?"
"Would you take your shirt off?"
She bit her tongue so as not to say yes immediately, the silence getting even more tense then ever before. He got her bad, but she wasn't going to let him win this easily... That's why she quickly changed the subject.
"Why do you have all of this," she indicated the furniture, "if you don't invite anyone back here?"
"How do you know?"
"Female intuition." She shrugged, looking around. "It's sterile clean around here."
"Because I do not tolerate disorder, Y/N," he said, his smile long gone. "And that's why you'd better win your gloves back."
These words had a clear meaning: Come here and do what you promised.
He sat on the ottoman in front of the armchair, leaving her to take the latter. She rolled up her sleeves, took out the bottle and opened it carefully.
"Before I put it on, then... Do you like the scent?" she asked as she passed him the bottle so he could examine it.
"What does it do?" he asked as he looked at the bottle and smelled it. It was a slightly sweet scent, but a spicy one at the same time.
"Warm you up. And warmth cures."
"I hope so."
"Shall I begin, then?"
He passed her the bottle, giving her permission at the same time. He just couldn't wait any longer; he was bursting with excitement, anticipating the first touch so badly as though he'd never been touched before, which wasn't far from truth.
Y/N rubbed the oil into her hands and it already tingled her, and she couldn't wait to grace him with the same sensation.
Her hands grabbed his shoulders and he let out a sigh, at the same time letting out some of the nerves he was having. It happened, the bare skin touched the bare skin, and it was just the beginning.
Her fingers started to knead in all the right places yet again, the oil adding to the sensation, warming each touch. He closed his eyes immediately, giving into the bliss.
"Where did you learn all of this?"
"I wanted to become a medic at some point. Studied for it a bit," she explained briefly. "But after my parent's death... I decided I wanted to be like them."
He didn't have a response to this, but he had no reason to doubt her words as she skilfully got rid of every ounce of pain in his back.
"Does your neck still hurt the most?"
"Everything does."
She chuckled.
"Didn't expect you to be so needy."
"You want the gloves back?" he asked, giving her a glance. "I'm sure you do."
"And I'm the insufferable one out here?" she asked, outraged, kneading him even harder on purpose, which he clearly liked. "I wish I could record you so you'd hear yourself..."
"You hearing me will suffice," he replied as he suppressed a small moan when her hands reached between his shoulder blades.
"I do like... Hearing you," she admitted, craving to hear something from him to confirm he was getting the pleasure. "And I suppose no one but me can hear you in here, so... Don't restrain yourself," she added, hoping to get another grunt of him as she pressed her hand further into his skin.
"Giving me orders already?" he turned to glance at her again. "You're getting too comfortable," he tried to scold her, but the pleasure he was experiencing made him sound completely unscary.
"I'm not the one being massaged here," she retorted. "Besides, isn't it normal? Being comfortable around someone you like..."
"I do not like many," he cut her off, then grunted as he heard a quiet snap in his spine.
"I figured that, but..." She moved even closer to him, her chest almost touching his bare back, and leaned over his right shoulder to turn her head towards his face. "Do you like me?"
He turned his head to the side to look into her eyes. Even in the dim, reddish light of the room he could see how hopeful she was, and how much she wanted to move even closer, despite their noses almost touching already.
Their hearts were racing, minds both reliving the moments they only imagined being this close in their respectful bedrooms, and then doing the unspoken...
They were devoured by complete silence, cut off only by some electronics buzzing somewhere in the distance. They could hear their heavy breaths becoming louder with each second, not averting their eyes from one another. If the atmosphere around them had a colour, it would be bright red, just like the details of the ship's interior.
Hux cleared his throat. He knew there was no use in lying, she could see his eyes clouded with need and affection, she knew how he acted under her touch... And stars, she was so beautiful.
"More than I'd like to admit," he said quietly.
Unknown sensations took over her body; there was burning in all of her veins, she could hear her heart pounding as though it was trying to rip her chest apart. Euphoria was flowing through her along with desire as she inched closer to him.
"Armitage," she managed to breathe out, "I..."
However, she didn't manage to tell him how much she liked him, too. She found herself even closer to him, her hot hands still on his skin... And their lips found each other, and nothing else mattered anymore.
Both were too lost in the moment to know who initiated the kiss, but once it happened, Hux immediately seized the initiative. He turned his whole body towards her and cupped her face in his big hands, pulling her even closer. The days of yearning finally came to a blissful finish.
She was sitting a bit higher than him, but it wasn't a problem for someone as tall as Hux. He pushed her further into the armchair as she kept her hands on his back to have anything to hold onto. The kiss deepened, and neither of them tried to stop the other before opening their mouths slightly. He traced her lower lip with his thumb before licking it ever so delicately, making her gasp. There was a short moment for words, but they didn't use it, too breathless to utter anything.
Y/N trailed her hand down his bare chest as he propped himself up on the armchair, then used his other arm to hold her waist. His tongue slipped into her mouth as his mind tried to persuade him he wasn't dreaming, and she whimpered underneath him.
She wanted to get rid of her uniform so badly, sure she's going to go crazy if she doesn't - as if all of that wasn't crazy enough. Overcome by lust, she was about to ask him to do it when she suddenly got another idea. Tracing her hand down his chest, she finally found his pocket and tried to put her hand inside, when...
"Now," he broke off the kiss to look her in the eye, grabbing her wrist, "where are you putting that little hands of yours?"
"I just want to get my gloves back..."
"By touching your superior that way?" he said as if he didn't enjoy every second of it, going back for another kiss she eagerly responded to. To the two of them, the whole galaxy had already disappeared, and they didn't care about anything other than the person they were kissing.
"How many more kisses it will take, then?" she asked with a smirk as he placed an unexpected kiss on her jaw.
"As many," he pecked her, "as I want."
The look he gave her that moment - full of desire, authority and affection at the same time - set her abdomen on fire. The wish to undress came back with full force; she used one hand to grab his nape and bring him back on her lips as her other arm led his to her belt, hoping he'll get the hint.
He did, and began unbuckling it without his lips leaving hers as she tried to reach for the gloves once more, when...
A call pierced the air. Yet again.
Breathless, they jumped away from each other so abruptly the airmchair jumped with them. Hux stood up immediately and walked to a panel next to the hidden door, then pushed a button to take just the voice call.
"General Hux, it's urgent," came a male voice. "We've just got the information that Kylo Ren will be approaching the ship. He demands information we've collected over the last few days ready for tomorrow morning."
No, not him. Not the damned Kylo Ren destroying one of the best moments of his life.
"That son of a..." Hux uttered under his breath, clearly furious. "Get everyone to prepare the reports. I want this over quickly."
"Yes, sir. Sending the order immediately."
The call ended and Hux turned his head to look at Y/N again... This time, sober. She was still breathing as heavily as him, putting her belt back in place. Everything changed so suddenly that it was almost impossible to believe in what they were doing mere moments ago. The need was still in the air... But they both knew they couldn't give in again.
"I... I suppose I have to take care of the reports, too," she said hesitantly, fixing her uniform.
He didn't want her to go - he wanted her to stay there, just so they could finish what they started... However, he knew how suspicious it would be when everyone was busy with their reports and she wasn't.
"Yes, you should," he said quietly, not in an orderly, but more of a disappointed tone.
The magic of the moment had officially been gone, but the adrenaline was still rushing through them - they didn't realise what they had done just yet. Y/N walked up to him and cupped his face with one hand just to kiss him one last time, using the distraction to snatch the gloves from his pocket. This brought a smile to his face for a short moment.
"You little...!"
"Did I win the gloves now?" she asked with a smirk and he had to accept defeat.
"Yes." He sighed. "But beware... You may lose something again soon."
She smiled widely.
"I look forward to it."
It was not until Y/N walked out of his office when she realised what had just happened. The bright lights of the corridor took her back to reality as she understood she had just made out with her superior, and - judgding by what she felt in her pants - it aroused her greatly.
"What did I do, stars, what did I do?" she whispered to herself, guilt washing over her. This should have never happened - her parents, were they alive, would denounce her.
Why something so delightful happened to be so wrong...?
She knew she had to calm down as quickly as possible. Firstly, she suspected that once the General comes to his senses too, he will regret it and probably order her to forget about it. Second of all, Kylo Ren was about to show up soon... And that man could read thoughts.
She worked on the reports with everyone else, trying to forget about Hux, about Armitage... Even though it was simply impossible.
The next morning she almost overslept yet again, having spent almost the entire nignt on recalling the memories from his room. She wanted to be there again with all her heart, even when her insides drowned with guilt and disappointment, as for some reason she was sure he would never want to speak of it again.
"You're late. Hux is going to kill you," Malia said as she watched Y/N take her seat.
Mentioning the General didn't help her at all, despite her knowing she'd meet him that day one way or another.
"Is he? He isn't here either."
"He was there just..."
Malia's words were cut off by shouting. Soon, General Hux and Kylo Mostowiak in his dark glory appeared on the bridge, apparently in the middle of a heated argument.
"Here he comes," Y/N whispered to herself, bracing herself to meet both men since she had to stand up and talk to the engineers. On her way to meet up with them, she almost bumped straight into the arguing men.
"You are in no place to tell me a... Y/N?" Kylo trailed off, immediately forgetting about the dispute when he saw a familiar face.
"Long time no see," she replied with a small smirk, trying not to look at the General.
He did take a look. Her gloves were back on her hands, her hair in a ponytail... And she was back on his mind, as if she wasn't there the entire night, giving him pleasure solely in his imagination.
"I take it you two know each other," Hux interjected.
"Yes, we've been friends. Must be a foreign concept to you, Hux, right?" Kylo spit at him as the General gritted his teeth. If only Ren knew about last night...
"Kylo, give it a break," she said, pretending to be irritated, when in fact she just wanted to defend Hux.
"You've... Changed." Kylo looked her up and down, causing Hux to avert his eyes in anger.
"You too. I believe it's called maturing," she said confidently, causing Hux to chuckle.
Kylo narrowed his eyes at her. "But you're still as annoying as before..."
"That's the only thing we can agree on," Hux interjected, leaving Y/N to finally look at him, betrayal in her eyes.
"General!" she exclaimed in disbelief and he quickly looked away from her.
"She's been giving you a hard time?" Kylo smirked. "I'm content, in that case."
Hux gulped.
A hard time in his pants, for sure.
"Kylo Ren. As charming as ever." She shook her head. "I'm off to work, if you'll excuse me," she added, unsure for how long she'll control herself next to Hux. She knew Ren could use his mind reading abilities at will, and she definitely didn't want him to see what she was thinking about.
She walked off towards the engineers, unaware the General was already planning their next meeting, and had been ever since their parting. Sadness took over her again; all of the darkest scenarios arose in her, including the one in which he takes her for a whore who wants to sleep with her boss.... Even if they both wanted that.
At the end of her shift he asked her to come to his office yet again and this time, she didn't anticipate it at all, even worse, she was dreading it.
Standing in front of him, she could hear her heartbeat again, but this time the heart was rushing for no good reason. She didn't dare look him in the eye; it was all too much for her.
Hux stood with his coat on, behind the desk, but he was going to change that quickly. He didn't want to be seperated from her... Not after being so close.
They stayed in silence for a moment, but she couldn't stand it.
"Where is Kylo?" she asked casually to say anything.
"He had left already," Hux replied truthfully, slowly walking towards her. "Got what he wanted. At least he won't be bothering me for a while."
She nodded in response as he positioned himself just inches from her, right in front of his desk. Her head was hung low and he wondered why she looked so resigned.
"What is wrong?" he asked, frowning, imagining it was Ren who'd made her upset.
"We have to talk, haven't we?" Her words were unsure, quiet, as if she didn't want them to be said.
"Yes, we need to... Discuss yesterday's events."
"And I know what you'll say." She let out a sigh. "This should not have happened and we should forget about it. I understand."
Hux, surprised, put a hand under her chin and made her look up at him. "Quite the contrary."
"What?" She raised her eyebrows.
He chose his words carefully, because he didn't want to scare her. He partially knew what he wanted to say to her as he'd been planning it at night, and he had come up with a decision... Ren's visit only made him more sure of it.
"I didn't plan anything that happened yesterday... But I don't regret it."
"I don't, either," she said quickly. "I'm just... I know you're my superior and it shouldn't be like this. If someone knew..."
"We should be keeping this private, yes," he interrupted her. "But even if someone finds out, I am the General here. I'm not going to let some subordinates control my life. If I want something, I have it. And for now, I want to do all we did again."
These words were bold, but he didn't care anymore. Y/N parted her lips, yet no sound came out of them as she stared at the man in front of her, conflicted and confused.
"The question remains..." He looked down for a moment. "How do you feel about me?"
She got goosebumps solely from these words. This had to be another one of her dreams, how else could you explain what was happening? She knew very well how she felt about him, and now that he was willing to risk it all... She was about to do it, too.
She raised her head confidently, looking into his eyes. "I want you."
That was all he needed to fall for her completely. Suddenly, rationalism was lost again, and his hands found their way to her face to pull her into a passionate kiss once more. Every doubt from her head gone, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and kissing back like there was no tomorrow.
They got so lost in the moment they didn't even think about getting interrupted again. She pressed her body to his, pushing him towards the desk, which he hit with his bottom.
"And what was that for?" he muttered between the desire-filled kisses, making her giggle.
"You didn't defend me in front of Kylo today... I suppose I am being a little bit too nice about it..."
"You deserved it," he replied without hesitation.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, breaking off the kiss to look at him in disbelief.
"And I simply tried not to let him know what I really think of you..."
"And that would be? Tell me..."
"I can show you."
It made her blood boil, the way he rasped that, the way he gazed at her while doing so, his features lit up from the side only.
He sat down on his spotless, shiny desk and grabbed her hips, causing her to let out gasp. Even her fantasies weren't as hot as this - well, maybe except for the fact she was still dressed.
He had no problem in picking her up and guiding her to sit in his lap, forcing her to spread her legs. He moved his lips to her neck as her hands started roaming his body, trying to get the coat off of him as fast as possible, her hips moving sligthly in the process.
A moan, followed by a hot breath tingling the sensitive skin of her neck escaped his mouth after she'd moved even closer to him. Enchanted by the sound, she moved back and forth once again to be rewarded with a next one. He pulled her collar to have better access to her neck, making her breathless, but still with enough power to rub herself against him once more.
And then she felt it; something poking against her mound, definitely not his knee. She looked down, smirking.
"Excited?" she whispered, eventually throwing his coat onto the desk.
"Aren't you?" he responded, the hot breath sending shivers down her spine. She let out a chuckle again, beginning to sweat.
"Then let me do that again..."
So she did, making him bite her just a little out of shock. She whimpered in response, wondering what someone would think if they heard them. Thank the Galaxy Kylo was gone...
She began rocking her hips back and forth, grunts escaping his lips as she picked up the pace to generate more friction. It was all through the material of their uniforms, but it was enough to make both of them go crazy. He was gasping for air, and then putting his lips back on the neck, searching for better places to leave marks. Even in the midst of realising how far his lips had gone, she couldn't resist teasing him.
"They're going to notice if you leave something there..."
"Not if you wear your uniform properly for once, Y/L/N." He smiled against her skin, squeezing her sides.
"Oh, you're in for a war," she snapped back at him, stifling a moan of pleasure as he licked what he'd just bit.
"We are in the middle of a war, glad you've noticed, subordinate..."
"Subordinate?" she repeated, her mouth agape. "It's you under me now, General," she added with determination, rocking her hips once again to feel him throb right underneath her heat. She wanted to, but couldn't blame him; she knew she was already wet herself, rubbing against him with more force.
Soon one of his hands got bored of holding her hip, so he guided it upwards and cupped her right breast, making her throw her head back and hear the pounding of her heart echo in her ears...
But it was not the pounding of her heart.
It was someone pounding on the office's locked door.
"General Hux!" Came an angry male voice from behind the door, making them jump. "It's important!"
"A moment!" Hux called back, then swore under his breath, having looked at his pants. Frustration took over him; not only did he get interrupted yet again - even if it was predictable due to his position - but also there was no way he could get rid of his erection now other than to sit by his desk, hide it underneath and pray for it to go away. He threw on his coat back, creating yet another cover.
Y/N was fixing all she could as fast as possible, glad she did have all of her uniform pieces on, but still scrambling to hide her neck. Despite Hux's words, one of the marks he'd left there did show up over the collar. That was, however, one of their smallest problems - they were both flushed and breathing heavily, and they couldn't hide that too fast.
"What do we do now?" she whispered in terror, and he, already sitting, just shook his head with his eyes closed. He realised that looking at her would only make his problem worse.
When he said that someone may find out, he meant the relationship only - not that they were having dry sex on his desk.
"Follow my lead," he ordered quietly and eventually looked her up and down one last time. Except for her reddish cheeks and slightly dishevelled hair, she seemed to look rather ordinary.
"General Hux!" The voice repeated, even angrier this time.
"Come in!"
The door opened and one of the officers went inside with two other people in tow - Y/N didn't want to look them in the eye. Despite her fears, the unexpected guests didn't even bother to glance at her.
"General, we have collected important information about the Resistance. You should take a look," he said as he passed him something Y/N didn't dare look at.
"Yes, yes, a moment..." Hux cleared his throat, then focused on her with fake anger in his eyes. "Y/L/N, I want the reports tomorrow, here at the same time," he began, suggesting something that had nothing to do with any reports, "and I want them to be finished this time or you'll be discharged."
The suggestion was way too blunt for her, so blunt she was scared the others may understand it somehow, although it was impossible.
"Yes, sir, of course. I apologise once again," she pretended, bowing her head.
"You may leave."
She passed his guests quickly and then almost ran to her quarters, still taking in what had happened with her heart racing. Firstly, she admitted her feelings to him - and he didn't reject her, secondly, everything escalated so quickly and they... They had just dry humped each other in his office. And almost got caught.
Who knew what they'd be doing now if they had not been?
It was all exciting yet terrifying at the same time, but everything that happened in the last thirty minutes meant only one thing - it was the beginning of her secret relationship with the General.
The moment she came back to her room she quickly hid the picture of her parents she kept there, feeling too embarrassed to look into their eyes - even if they weren't real. This was not what they taught her about the army...
Next, she picked up a small mirror and moved her collar aside to see her neck. And there they were, two red spots, one could be hidden easily, the other one a bit too high to be covered by the material.
"And what will I do with this, hm?" she asked herself as she knew the mark will only get darker. Again, it worried her, but on the other hand... It was thrilling to think she could be the only person having received it from him.
"Armitage, what have you done to me..." she whispered to herself, stroking her neck exactly where his lips were just minutes earlier. If he weren't the General, things would be so much easier... But there would be no thrill, and no power to get drunk on.
She unbuckled her belt, hoping to finally get rid of her uniform, but then a sigh escaped her mouth as she was still feeling the wetness between her legs.
She could, but she didn't want to finish by herself that night, not after everything that happened... It wouldn't be the same without him. That's why she just took a quick, lonely shower, wondering if her lover managed to compose himself.
Long minutes passed and she was sitting on her bed in just her underwear - she felt too hot to even put on her nightgown - with a small smile on her face, imagining what they could do the next day and trying to ignore the quiet guilt she was still experiencing.
When she decided she'd try to fall asleep, suddenly her small holoprojector, which was on her nighstand, buzzed. Surprised, she covered her body with a blanket and received the call. To her delight, the device displayed a blueish hologram of General Hux, shining over the entire room with said colour.
"I hoped you were awake," he said and she smiled at him sincerely.
"Have they left you alone already?"
"Yes, but... I don't have good news."
A knot formed in her stomach, and her smile faded instantly. She expected the worst kind of news as she hugged her knees to her chest. Did this mean his guests found out about everything?
"I have to leave tomorrow. They've found some information I have to discuss directly with... Eh, it doesn't matter. The thing is, I'll be gone for a few days, maybe more."
"Stars, you scared me." She let out a sigh. "I thought you were going to say we can't meet anymore."
"That is not going to happen." His tone changed and she could see the desire filling up his eyes again even in the grainy holo. "Once I'm back... I'll make sure not a soul interrupts."
He made her shiver again.
"Maybe..." she began, willing to suggest to visit him again right now, but quickly decided against it. "No. You should rest."
"No matter how long it is, I'll be... Thinking about you," he admitted, planting butterflies in her stomach.
"Me too," she said quietly, then her sincere smile changed to a smirk. "Although I do have something to remember you by," she moved a bit closer to the hologram to show him the two marks he'd created on her neck.
A triumphant expression washed over his face.
"Get used to it."
She let out another sigh. She knew he was saying all of this to make her fall for him even more, as if that was possible. She had to get her revenge, and quickly.
"You're reckless," she said as she covered more of herself with the blanket, bringing his attention to her body.
"You taught me this," he retorted. "Wait, are you... Are you even wearing anything?" he added as his eyes widened, noticing how she covered herself up to her neck.
She graced him with a cunning smile in response.
"Who knows?"
This was enough to make him grunt, then look down.
"Giving me new problems as soon as I've got rid of the previous ones... You'll regret this when I'm back."
"Oh, what do I do, scary General..." she teased him, making sure he couldn't see her body. "I'm so afraid... You will give me more reports to fill as punishment, boo..."
"Insufferable."
"You love me like this."
To her surprise, his cocky expression turned into a sincere one, his eyes softening for a moment.
"Maybe I do."
The pleasurable sensations returned to her, her heart beginning to race once more that day. There was no one else in the whole galaxy who could make her feel like this.
"Have a good night, Y/N," he said finally, provoking another smile on her face.
"You too. Don't die before you come back here, hm?"
He shook his head one last time.
"Will do."
The hologram disappeared and the room got devoured by darkness, leaving her a little downcast and a little excited at the same time. These next few days were going to be long.
And they were, but Hux promised himself this time he'd take care of her even better. He didn't call so as not to bring any suspicions, but he did assign a droid to look out for her, and bring her better meals straight to her quarters, along with tarine tea, the little tradition of theirs.
She noticed all of that and for the first time since losing her parents, she actually felt loved.
Thanks to all of that, she was growing more fond of him even when he wasn't there. She was also able to keep Malia, Marlen and everyone else away from the marks on her neck.
Hux was absent for eight long days, and came back early in the morning, wishing to see his lover as soon as possible. And the galaxy was in his favour that day; he practically bumped into her on his way to his own office.
Both their hearts sped up when they saw each other, the yearning they've been experiencing making them wish they could fall into each other's arms at once.
"Oh, I apologise, sir," Y/N uttered in a rush while he was doing all he could to restrain himself.
He wanted to hug her, kiss her and maybe pin her to the wall in the process - especially that the last time he saw her, she left him with an unresolved erection. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to do any of these things, as droids and people were passing them from time to time, busy getting to their work stations.
"Watch where you're going," was all he could say, clenching his own wrist with his other hand behind his back so as not to try to touch her.
"I will, sir."
"Come to my office with your finished reports after your shift," he added in a rush, giving her something to anticipate all day.
"Yes, sir," she replied, hiding a smile.
This day was the day Hux didn't even care how much time he spent on staring at her. The time was going agonisingly slowly while all he was thinking about was what he intented to do to her that night. He took out his frustration and impatience on some of his subordinates, what earned him a few scolding looks from Y/N. However, this behaviour was partly to make sure people would be too scared of his mood that day to disturb him.
She came to his office immediately after she'd finished, full of anticipation. He was equally impatient; the moment she came inside, he stood up to reveal the secret door once again. As soon as they found themselves in his room again, he did what he'd wanted - and pinned her to the wall to kiss her.
"Missed me?" she teased, smiling between the kisses, not minding her wrists being pinned at all.
"Judging by your response, you did, too," he said as he used one hand to take off her first glove. "Oh, why do you even need them..."
"Because you don't tolerate disorder, sir."
The sir made him swallow hard, but he didn't want to show her she could weaken him so easily.
"Few days and I've already forgotten how irritating you can be."
She rolled her eyes at him and then closed the distance between them in another kiss as he removed her other glove.
"If someone interrupts again," he said threateningly, roughly throwing the gloves to the floor, "I will kick them out of the ship."
"And what if it's the Supreme Leader?"
"It could be the Emperor himself. I'm not letting you go tonight."
She could see that his green eyes were on fire, and the reddish light of the room only added to the sensation. With bubbles of excitement in her chest, she used her now freed, bare hands to take his face in them and stroke it gently, the endorphins taking over her whole body.
"I only wonder... Why me?" she said suddenly, snapping back to reality just for a moment.
"What do you mean?" He raised his eyebrows, taking a careful step back to see her expression better while grabbing her hands in his.
"I mean you're the General. I bet there are tens if not hundreds of girls fawning over you. And this galaxy doesn't lack brothels, either."
"You think so lowly of me?"
"No, I just..." She sighed. "I know there are girls out there you could have... Who are prettier than me in every way possible."
He smirked and inched closer again, using one hand to stroke her lips with his thumb before planting another kiss.
"But none of them are as insufferable as you," he whispered with his forhead against hers, making her glare at him.
"You..."
"You're the first girl I've ever wanted," he cut her off. And these were the words that made her lose all the doubts she had, seeing in his eyes how truthful he was.
"Then have me."
This was the spark that ignited the desire of the night. The next thing Y/N knew, feverish kisses were being planted all over her face, making Hux so busy with that she had the chance to use her hands to unbuckle his belt. With that gone, she began unbuttoning his shirt, causing him to slap her hand away.
"Oh, no. You first," he ordered, breathing heavily.
"Why?"
"Because I am the General."
She wanted to retort but, at the same time, his authority turned her on even more. That's why she decided to give in, hoping it'll give him just as much fun.
"Yes, sir," she whispered, giving him goosebumps.
"Then I order you to undress."
"Don't you want to do it?"
"I have other plans," he rasped as his lips found his way to her neck once again, willing to renew the marks from before. A sudden bite made her knees weaken, and he used that to place his own knee between her legs. She let out a gasp, having trouble on focusing on her buttons.
As his lips worked wonders to send shivers through her, he was about to double the sensations. One hand was holding her waist, the other began travelling down her half-exposed chest, then beneath her waistband to eventually...
"Armitage," she gasped in surprise as he replaced his knee with his hand, cupping her mound.
"I like it when you're surprised," he said against her neck, his hot breath tickling her in the most pleasurable way.
He rubbed his finger along her panties agonisingly slow, pulling a moan out of her mouth. He smirked as he realised his finger was a bit wet.
"Already?"
It was a bit embarrassing to her, but even then she wasn't going to give up easily.
"Doesn't that mean you're doing a good job?"
The audacity.
"That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble."
She chuckled.
"I'll take my chanc... Oh, for the love of..." she trailed off as he started rubbing his whole hand in circular motions against the sheer material once again.
"Is this your first time?" he couldn't help but ask and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"No, so don't feel special." She tried to sound firm, but he picked up the pace, making her close her eyes. "Although... You may if I do get to finish for the first time."
"I take it as a challenge," he replied with no hesitation.
She couldn't believe she'd said that, but it couldn't be undone. And her buttons were also undone - so she threw the shirt to the floor. That made him step back to see what had been uncovered.
She was still in her bra, but it he'd been waiting for it so long it was enough for him to feel another wave of lust wash over his body. He immediately remembered the massage she'd given him and decided to get his hands on her, too.
"Maybe I should use the oil on you now..."
"Please," she breathed out, seeing hunger in his eyes.
He moved to the side and put his hand to the wall she'd been standing against all this time, opening the door right next to them.
"Go in and wait," he directed her, and she quickly obeyed.
It was his bedroom. There wasn't much there; the floor was as shiny as in the other rooms, so were the two nighstands completed with some electronics humming and buzzing quietly, emitting some reddish light. Her focus, however, was on the bed.
It could fit at least three people, she was sure, and was so tall it reached her waist. The black, silky sheets were shiny, reflecting some of the reddish light from behind the headboard and the nighstands. It was perfectly smoothed out, every inch of it, just like the black pillows. She was thinking it would be a pity to destroy his perfect order, but on the other hand, she had her insufferable reputation to live up to. She took her boots off, and then felt pleasant warmth on her back.
"Don't tell me you're too shy to lay down," she heard a whisper directly in her ear, then felt two strong, gloveless hands on her shoulders and a soft kiss on her naked shoulder.
"Didn't want to spoil your sheets."
He sighed as if he was exhausted, in spite of great energy flowing through his veins.
"I don't like it, either, but the things I do for you..."
"Oh, if it's so difficult, then maybe I should go back to my quarters..."
"Now you're in trouble."
He pushed her back slightly, so she eventually climbed onto the bed and laid down on her chest. He removed his boots as well and went after her on his knees. He lowered himself onto her bottom, opening the bottle of oil to spread some on his hands.
"Now, what's that bra for?" he asked as he saw the black-laced piece of underwear blocking a small part of her back.
She smiled to herself, willing to take it off, but decided to play the pillow princess.
"Let's see if the great General can handle opening it."
She didn't need to repeat herself. He immediately leaned over her and unclasped the bra without any problems, surprising her greatly.
"Where did you learn that?"
"Technology is not only useful when it comes to weapons, Y/N," he responded, tugging on the bra strap so she'd raise her arm, allowing him to take it off completely. He was about to do it, but suddenly decided against it.
"Oh, no, I have a better idea."
He moved back on his knees and proceeded to wrap his arms around her waist to lift her up. Now she was kneeling with his back to him, allowing him to carry out his plan.
"I never said I was going to massage your back," he said, confusing her as he took off her bra and threw it to the floor.
"What do you..." she began, turning to glance at him and then let out a loud moan as he grabbed her breasts from behind with his oil-covered palms. "Oh, kriff...!"
This was the first time he's heard her swear, and he wasn't going to deny it - it was hot, especially since he was the one who provoked it. Smirking to himself, he began squeezing and massaging both her breasts, the oil on his hands adding to the sensation. He hoped to see them from the front soon.
"Language, Y/N... That was very impolite, wasn't that?" He was talking straight to her ear, nibbling on it in the process. "Talking like that in the presence of your superior?"
"Discharge me," she panted as she felt his fingers on her nipples, "for this."
"Insufferable as always..." he whispered, then lowered his head to tease her neck yet again.
She had nothing to hold onto in the middle of the big bed, and keeping herself up was becoming harder as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her thanks to his hands and lips. She leaned back a little to support her weight on his chest... And then sensed something touching her butt.
A cunning expression took over her face as she moved her hips closer to him, beginning to rub herself against his erection. This was something he had not expected at all, gasping against her neck when he felt hotness underneath the material of his trousers.
"You..."
"Not so confident now, General?" she cut him off proudly, although her thoughts were being clouded by her hardening nipples.
She had the upper hand, because her rubbing did make him gulp. That's why he had to take the matters in his own hands - he grabbed her waist again and flipped her over to see what the removing of the bra had uncovered.
"Remember who's the leader," he said, taking in every curve of her body hugged by the reddish light.
She knew it would make him mad but still couldn't resist saying:
"Snoke is."
"You're lucky I like you this much, because otherwise..."
"We wouldn't be here having this much fun," she finished for him, making him click his tongue.
"You vixen," he hissed, leaning over her on his knees to kiss her passionately on the lips. He used one of his hands to prop himself up and the other to still play with one of her breasts while she kissed back with as much energy as she could, throwing her arms around his neck... And her fingertips met with material.
"It is a little but unfair you're still in your uniform, General..." She managed to breathe out between the hungry kisses. "Maybe you should change that..."
"Is that an order?"
"What if it is?"
He was so overwhelmed with desire, but also unknown happiness at the moment he didn't even want to scold her anymore.
"I'll let it slide if you remove it."
She smiled into the kiss. "Gladly..."
He let her sit up a little, now both his hands on her breasts as she began working with his belt and buttons. She managed to unbutton his shirt quite quickly and he moved his hands back to let her drag it down, enjoying every second of it.
"Can I throw it?" she asked teasingly, making fun of his love for order again as she looked at him, flushed and with ruffled hair - the view she had never thought she'd see.
"I'm really getting annoyed with your questions," he said, narrowing her eyes. "Time to shut you up a little."
Before she could react, he pushed her back onto the sheets, making her drop his shirt onto the bed. He grabbed her waistband and pulled it down quite roughly, with his great strength leaving her only in her panties in a matter of seconds.
She got self-conscious for a moment, remembering all the days she spent behind the console... And not on training, that's why her body didn't satisfy her much.
"I haven't trained in a while..." she said, bringing her legs together as she realised. He didn't understand that at all.
"That's why I'm taking care of your training right now," he replied, leaning over to kiss her jaw. "You look beautiful," he added in the softest whisper as it was all he could think about, successfully giving her a pleasant sensation in her chest.
She wanted to try and get rid of his pants as well, but it was no use; he did decide he'd make her too breathless to speak, and that's why he began planting frenzied kisses on her jaw, neck, finally moving down between her breasts. For a moment, he hesitated, wondering whether he should play with them using his mouth this time... But he was getting impatient.
Forgetting about her chest, he kept on kissing lower and lower, until he reached her panties. He kissed her through the damp material, causing her to heave a sigh. She had no idea he knew what was doing; technology had helped him prepare once more.
He began rubbing his fingers against the panties, varying the pace to hear different moans and whimpers escape her mouth. He could busy himself with something else at the same time, but he enjoyed watching her shiver at his touch, content with his authority which turned him on even more.
"Take them off," she panted as he began pushing his fingers a little deeper into her skin, but still through the material, "please."
"Nice to hear you actually ask..." He smirked proudly. "What do you want me to do, your superior?"
"Take them off," she replied quickly, closing her eyes.
"A bit nicer for me," he said before he could stop himself, sounding a bit harsher than he had inteded.
"Please, General."
It was enough. He was already too aroused himself to bicker with her as he sensed his pants became tighter on him. As he grabbed the both sides of her panties, he only prayed that no one would interrupt them yet again, not when she was left completely naked, just for him.
He used his hands to spread her legs just a little more, then touched her between them, flesh to flesh. She was soaking, so it wasn't hard for him to gather some of the wetness on his fingers and then, almost innocently, slipping just one of them inside her.
"Kriff," she uttered, remembering all those moment she'd done this herself because of him. His one finger was already more than two of hers. and even her fantasies could have not predicted how pleasurable it would be. This time he didn't even scold her since thinking of words was becoming too difficult. He began moving the finger in and out of her, earning the loudest moan yet.
"What if someone hears us?" she panted
"Silly... This room is soundproof. Classified information is kept here... Like the noises I'm just hearing." Another triumphant smile graced his face. "Don't restrain yourself."
So she didn't, especially when he added a second finger, pumping in and out of her even faster than before. He allowed herself to watch her writhe before deciding to lower his head. She saw his face between her legs for a short moment before feeling the strongest sensation yet - the one he sent through her by licking up her pussy.
She bit her lip, feeling as though her whole body was on fire. She didn't expect him to do this, thought she would be the one doing the work, but she couldn't complain. He'd wanted her for so long he had to seize the opportunity to do everything he wished, explore every part of her body that used to be hidden under the uniform. His tongue worked along his fingers as he felt her hand on his head, grabbing his hair to bring his face closer, using the other one to play with her breast.
"Needy." He chuckled against her, the hot breath driving her insane.
"Just like," she stopped to take a breath after another long lick, "you."
The next pump and the next lick caused a heatwave in her, drops of sweat forming on her naked body. It was all becoming too much to handle, the pleasure she had never even thought possible to experience. Soon, she wasn't even able to hold anything.
"Armitage, I can't..."
"Wait?" He laughed, but she wasn't able to confirm nor deny. She bucked her hips which was a clear signal for him she was enjoying it all too much. He gave her one last long lick, one last shiver before taking both his tongue and fingers back, then stood just in front of the bed.
"No," she said in disbelief, "not when I was about to tell you you can feel special."
He looked extremely proud of himself anyway, taking a look at his glistening fingers, giving her time to examine his pants. His erection was throbbing through them, caused mostly by the noises she'd been making.
"Oh, but you're excited, too..." she said with a smirk as she sat up to see him better.
"Finish your job, then," he added, pointing at his pants she hadn't had the time to remove.
Eager to touch him just as much as to feel him touch her, she kneeled before him to pull his trousers down, and then his black boxers, touching his penis in the process in spite of it being unnecessary. She didn't take time to watch what she had uncovered in the dim, reddish light of the room, but clasped her hand around his length.
"What are you... Fuck, Y/N," he rasped as she moved her hand ever so slowly.
It was her turn to laugh at him.
"Oh, now swearing is allowed, isn't it?"
"I set the rules," he tried to say it firmly, but his knees bent unknowingly as she kept on moving her hand.
"Mhm... I already love seeing you this hopeless," she whispered, planting a kiss on his chest as he grunted.
These words were too much for him. He was too power-hungry and proud to let her lead, even though she was sending the most pleasurable shivers through his body with just her hand.
"Then I'm about to burst your bubble."
Using his bigger strength, he pushed her back onto the sheets and then clicked a button somewhere behind her. The room fell into complete darkness, sharpening all the senses but sight.
"Do you want this?" he asked in his playful tone, but was in fact really making sure she was still okay with all of this. Both of them knew there would be no going back...
"Stupid question..." she replied, almost shaking with impatience. That was when he lost all the doubts, so he decided to go back into their play.
"Answer like you're answering to your commander."
"Yes, sir."
It made him go out of his mind.
"In that case... Spread your legs wider."
With all of the lights off, they both got even more confident, so she didn't hesitate this time. She obeyed as he hovered over her, positioning himself to match her perfectly. She felt his erection against her thigh and prayed no one would interrupt, too. Not now...
The stars were in their favour as the bubble of anticipation got burst quickly - he kissed her passionately as soon as he slid into her, and she almost bit him because of her moan. Having not had sex since years, she needed a moment to take it in.
It was a lot for him, too... And he couldn't believe it was really happening. Both of them forgot about everything that could go wrong, about professionalism, about Snoke, Ren and anyone else who could definitely destroy them for what they were doing.
"Fuck me..." Y/N muttered to herself, feeling her inside being stretched as he moved as far into her as he could. Unfortunately for her, he heard that and sneered.
"That I'm about to do."
He thrusted into her for the first time, slowly but deeply, and she already knew she'd have to grab the sheets for support. Still in the darkness, he began picking up the pace with each move, kissing her neck and not the lips in the process, so as not to prevent her from moaning.
"I want you closer," he rasped after a minute or so, wishing to feel her body on his.
"Sit up, then," she panted in response, barely registering what was happening, giving into the blissful sensations in her abdomen.
He took her in his lap, just like before on the desk, this time with no uniforms to protect them. Neither of them was being quiet as they both rocked their hips to make the other person crazy, as if it was a competition who could provoke the loudest noises. Without lights, each sound echoed in the sterile room even louder, especially the sound of skin slapping on skin...
She held onto his back as hard as she could, leaving marks of her nails all over it as she wasn't able to keep her hands in one place. As if it wasn't enough, he squeezed her hips and moved his lips to her neck yet again. She didn't even want to imagine how many marks she'd be left with this time.
"I can't anymore," she breathed into his ear after an unkown amount of time passed, their hips still moving in unision, "Armitage, I..."
She didn't manage to finish her sentence. Before she knew it, insane amounts of pleasure spread from her stomach to her whole body, pulling half a scream out of her. She didn't even have to move to ride out the orgasm as he kept on thrusting into her.
"Before me?" he asked in disbelief, stopping suddenly as she rested herself on his chest. "Tsk, you're getting too comfortable..."
"Again, doesn't that mean you're doing a good job?" she said to avert his attention from what had just happened. She had been satsified and wanted him to feel that, too. Therefore, she got off his lap and cupped his face to whisper into his ear:
"Don't you worry, I will help you... Anything you're dreaming of, sir?"
The question made him forget about teasing immediately, the word sir doing the magic yet again. He remembered everything he'd wanted to do once again.
"I want you from behind," he said almost inaudibly, since he didn't enjoy being this vulnerable.
He couldn't see it, but he could feel her smirk against his ear.
"I did want to touch that headboard of yours..." she said as she moved away to land on all fours in front of him.
She put her hands on the smooth, fuzzy headboard to have something to hold onto when he slid into her once again.
Coming back to his fast pace, he suddenly remembered all of his fantasies about her hair, all of the time he had spent on the bridge thinking about yanking it... And she still had her ponytail on that day. Moreover, he remembered her butt and thighs, tight in the uniform, something that began all of this...
He could make all of these fantasies come true right now.
"Look what you've get yourself into if you wear your hair like this..." he gave her a bit of a warning before finding her ponytail and pulling it slightly to mutual delight.
"Had I known, I would've changed my hairstyle sooner." She laughed as his other hand grabbed her buttock, causing a gasp to escape her lips.
All of that brought him to the edge quickly. She felt his thrusts become sloppier and she moved her hips along to help him reach his peak. A load groan escaped his lips as he knew he would come in a matter of seconds.
"Kriffing Y/N..." he almost growled as he pulled out at the last second, cumming onto her butt and still holding her hair.
It happened. Both of them reached the highest peak of pleasure, and it left them breathing as heavily as though they'd been in a battle. After they realised what had just happened, they both fell to the mattress to listen to nothing but their gasps for air.
Half a minute later or so, Hux moved on the bed to move his sheets aside and slide under them, leaving extra space for her. Then he turned on the soft, reddish light again to see her.
"Come here, you insufferable," he directed as she giggled, gladly coming to lay down next to him; his perfect sheets had been stained anyways, and he didn't seem to care anymore.
He kissed her on the head as she nuzzled up to his side, to him looking more beautiful than ever, with some sweat on her forhead and flushed cheeks that seemed even redder in the specific light. Both of them had been waiting for this moment... And it came out better than they'd imagined.
"We should do that again," she said, still breathing heavily as he shook his head.
"Needy."
"Don't you want to?"
He turned to look at her and his gaze softened. There was no use in lying, not after they had shown each other everything.
"I would like to do that and much more with you," he admitted quietly, kissing her again. "As long as we keep this between us."
"Obviously. The secret just adds to the adrenaline," she said with a smile which faded quickly. "Besides... If anyone knew, they would call me a whore."
"If anyone even thinks that, they'll be kicked out of this ship faster than light."
She chuckled, but in a way, this was a kind of a love confession. She had proof he cared about her, yet again.
"I'm still surprised no one interrupted..."
"Good for them," he said quickly, still breathing loudly. "Are you... Content?" he asked despite being able to read the answer from her expression. He wanted to hear it from her.
"Is that your way of asking if I was satisfied?"
"Y/N, you're doing everything to get kicked out, too."
She shut him up with a kiss to his lips.
"Yes, sir, I am." She grinned. "Although I suppose next time we'll be better prepared... And I'll remember to keep my ponytail."
"That is an order," he said firmly. "Also... The technology might help yet again."
"What do you mean?" She raised an eyebrow and he gave her a cocky smile in response.
"You'll have to wait and see."
She wanted to open her mouth to argue, but eventually decided against it to have something to wait for.
"I suppose I should get going soon..." she muttered sadly, making his bare chest her own pillow.
"Stay here." He hugged her tighter, not allowing her to move.
"So I can sleep here?" she asked in shock as he nodded.
"We're behind three doors. And we can just say... You came here in the morning."
"I came in the evening," she replied before she could stop herself, earning a groan of irritation from him.
She stroked her head and then untied her ponytail. Her scalp immediately felt a relief.
"Does it hurt less now?"
"Oh, so you do have a heart somewhere under there," she said, kissing his chest.
"For one person only," he admitted quietly, because it was true. He didn't think he'd loved anyone ever before... But this time, it felt different, and she was the only subject he liked to even think about other than war, weapons, and power.
She smiled sincerely, her body filling up with warmth.
"I think I'm beginning to fall in love with you," she whispered after a sudden surge of courage. What was there to lose after such a night?
These words did touch him, too. He couldn't recall anyone ever saying something so pure and affectionate to him, not even his own parents, who were not in the picture for various reasons. He wasn't ready to say it bluntly yet... But everything he was feeling led to one conclusion.
"Seems like we have the same problem."
She wanted to tease him and ask if he was falling in love with himself, too, but this time didn't want to ruin the moment. It was perfect - just the two of them in silence, in reddish light floating in the middle of the galaxy, whispering words that could never reach the world behind the door.
And so they slept together, flesh to flesh, intoxicated by each other.
The next morning quickly turned out much harder than anticipated. Coming back to reality after a night like this proved itself almost unbelievable. However, the slap of realism wasn't the most difficult thing Y/N had to deal with - it was her thighs, sore as hell after not having any significant movements since months. Hux was laughing at her perfidiously as she swore under her breath, having trouble with walking. She had really neglected her trainings...
The General was having the time of his life when he watched her struggle on the bridge, knowing very well he was the reason. It made him even more drunk on power than ever before. That day, he kept on glancing at her all the time just to see her complain about the legs.
"What's with your legs? You're okay?" Malia asked as she watched her friend sit down awkwardly.
"Yes, just... It's just muscle soreness... I've neglected my trainings lately..."
"You look like you'd been training all night."
"That's... Not far from truth," she replied, trying not to blush. Training, indeed...
"You're trying to kiss up to the General, huh?" Malia joked. "He's been quite cross with you lately, calling you up all the time... And I've never even been to his office."
Y/N gulped, wondering how not to look suspicious in this situations. She decided to use his favourite words.
"Malia, let's just focus on work before he kicks both of us out of the ship."
The two of them didn't meet up for the following week so as not to bring more suspicions, but Hux was impatient. He broke their promise a day faster, inviting her to "bring him the reports" while he was just planning a dinner for the two of them to talk about everything, now that the emotions had cooled down - although he was still keeping his eyes on her every chance he could.
And there she came to him on that anticipated day, smiling from ear to ear.
"Good day to you, General."
He looked up at her from behind her desk, standing and checking his datapad.
"Well, well, who we've got here..."
"What's with that greeting?" she sounded outraged. "You've been ogling me all week, I've noticed."
"I'm glad to see you, alright?" he said impatiently, knowing she was right. "But you'll have to wait for me. The officers will come here shortly to discuss something with me..."
"Oh... Should I come back later, then...?"
"No, wait here." He turned to open the secret door behind him. "They won't be long."
"Oh, so now I'm having your rooms to myself? That's what I like..."
"Don't get too cocky."
"Mhm..."
She kissed him shortly as she passed him, having been waiting to do so all week. They both knew they wouldn't be able too keep their hands off of each other once left alone again...
The door closed behind her and she plopped onto the couch, bored, wondering what to do to make the time pass faster. She could read something he kept in there, but it wasn't really interesting...
She entered his bedroom - to which he had given her the code - and everything was back in perfect order, except for his black coat with the First Order's emblem, laying haphazardly on the side of the bed. Suddenly, a mischievous idea popped into her head.
In a matter of minutes, she undressed herself completely and then threw his coat on. It was too big on her, obviously, and even a bit too heavy, managing to cover her entire body. Wearing nothing but that, she came back to the living room and sat innocently in the armchair, waiting for him.
Long minutes passed and it was becoming extremely annoying. She couldn't even hear what was happening behind the door, so she had no idea whether the officers had already left...
Until, after what seemed like ages, the secret door opened again.
"They did take long," she complained as soon as he entered.
"Don't give me that look. I didn't like that, eith..." He stopped in his tracks to take a better look at her. "Is this my coat?"
She gave him an innocent look.
"It was just laying around... Couldn't help trying it on."
He looked down and saw only her feet, completely bare. This ignited his imagination immediately.
"Do you even have anything underneath?" he asked in slight awe.
She just smiled mischievously.
"Why don't you come and check for yourself?"
#hux#general#general hux#i need jesus#i need holy water#smut#star wars#star#wars#armitage hux#fanfiction#x read#ff#fanfic#star wars fanfiction#armitage#hux x reader#hux x reader smut#first order
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I'm new to tumblr so is this how you do request? May I request the brothers forgetting mc's birthday and later remembering it. How would they react? Maybe they were busy or something. Your choice if you wanna do the dateables too.
Trigger warning
Mentions of Angst/sad/slight comfort
Lucifer
Busy almost all the time, the first-born barely spent time with our dear Mc. He would try to finish the work only for more to be slammed on his desk.
Never would his brothers acknowledge his efforts or the sacrifices he made for them. Instead they'd mock him. Mock him for being absent at all family times. Mock him for doing what he does.
It was once again such a time, such a day. They didn't bother to care what the day has held for his beloved. It was their birth.
The birth of the one who truly changed his life along with his brothers. It was such a blessing yet he forgot about it. Entirely.
The Avatar of pride was strong, Lucifer wasn't. He was weak. Vulnerable. Especially against his brothers whom he adored with his entire being.
And the mocking words had stabbed him deeply, which made his current state as to how it was. Drunk. Wounded. Crying.
Rubbing his eyes, he awoke to a mess of his office which screamed the need for cleanliness.
During the process, he found the calender. A sweet calender gifted him by his doll.
A smile had crept on his face as he lifted it for what? Perhaps to calm the unsettling feeling in his bones that told him to run but where he didn't know?
While their lover was, Mc wilted much like a delicate flower would if the sun stopped shinning, they were laying curled on the floor of his room. Mc needed him.
How could he forget his own lover's birthday?! even after he promised... it hurts.. so much...
Yesterday. The poor human cut the cake wished themselves a happy birthday when he didn't...crying...in pain...
The realization hit hard. He ran to Mc's room as fast as he could. A shiver ran his spine and the horror in his stomach grew as each and every step was taken.
Yet could not find them, so he went over to his office expecting a fuming Mc.
He was once again not right, for his beloved was breaking down as he took them into his arms. Consoling.
He apologised and comforted them. Reassuring them over and over again. Reminding them his heart still is with them and no-could ever take it away.
He later threw a party, just like how you wanted. You. Him. And the growing fragrance of the candles surrounding you both.
Though late as it may have been, it was the best birthday the innocent human had. Smiling while he kissed your knuckles, he asked for your hand in marriage.
Never had you expected this...
"I Found the reason for my smile, the day I found you. Will you let me be the reason for your smile and marry me, my love?"
Mammon
As most had expected, he forgot your birthday due to witches or the modeling gig, he did not.
Instead he forgot about preparing your birthday gifts. His excitement had always gotten the best of him.
The Avatar of greed did not have enough budget to prepare the gift you dearly wished for, therefore multiple part-time jobs and skipping RAD became more often.
Despite the scolding, he didn't bother and worked on, just imagining the smile you'd make once you saw what he got you.
''I'll make Mc smile. Just one more hour extra and the budget would be*chef's kiss* '' he thought as his co-workers packed their belongings up.
It was late night and the moons shined brightly over the streets of devildom however he wasn't much worried because it was not like your birthday the next day. (it was)
Stretching his arms, he woke up around 1:35 pm due to his fucked up sleep schedule, only to be greeted by your excited figure cuddling him.
Grey-haired demon thought it was the Delirium before the day itself. He was wrong.
At first he acted totally oblivious to the fact any special day was just around the corner. He knew that surprises even more better!!
And then your great mammon ignored you for a while to rid of the risk of you following him to the destination.
Though his plan was to get your hopes down, he ended up making you cry. It hurts a lot especially when the love of your life forgets your birthday afterall you gave him everything he wanted on his.
The visit was successful. He even had extras left to treat you!!!
The was big achievement for someone who hated working to the slightest, to work for 3 weeks and multiple jobs!!!
But before he left, the seller mocked him about being a damned day late for this gift could have been sold at a better price if not booked.
That is when it all clicked and he panicked. Today was your birthday! Oh shit!!
He rushed home back to you. As he ran, he planned how to ask for your forgiveness.
" Oi Mc I'm sorry!--Oh hell no!!" "Mc I fucked I am sorry, please forgive afterall I'm your first man.--fuck this shit imma just play smooth."
Panting, he paused right before the door of your room and knocked lightly. Seeking your permission to enter.
You lazily opened the door for him, tired after shedding many tears for him.
Mammon instantly knew what to do. "Oi Mc I'm sorry for not wishing ya' a happy birthday earlier but I was busy buyin you somethin', here darlin' close your eyes."
Hearing his apology, you felt oddly happy and followed his request. Soon you felt a soft cold metal cling to your wrist. A bracelet, huh.?
"Open y'er eyes, human." On your wrist was bracelet that said 'His human' and another matching one was on his wrist which said 'Their stupid' . (Now isn't that adorable?)
"I was savin' up for this, so ya' better appreciate it. Hmph!" Giggling you yelled 'I love you' at him making him blush immediately.
However, when he spoke, he spoke genuinely and not in tsundere.
"Ya' make my life worth living. You bring smiles to my face, and y'er touch shows me how much you love me and care for me. Y'er my friend and my lover. Happy Birthday!"
Leviathan
With envy filled to the brim, Leviathan was very focused upon you and having your attention only for himself. To not let anyone snatch you away for they could better be than him, he'd make notes to treat you like royalty and improve his guilt-tripping habits.
Guilt, regret, shame. His heart screamed within the confines of his chest, as he rubbed your back assuring you that he still loved and will continue to do so.
It was his envy. It had always been his envy. Who always held him captive like a bird in a cage, he struggled to break free. He just couldn't.
The fault was his for if he hadn't given in to the jealousy named poison, you would be happily celebrating your birthday rather than crying in his embrace.
The fault was his for if he hadn't screamed at your friends who just came to congratulate you about getting in a relationship with the demon you very much loved and to wish you a birthday.
They left because of him. Not because he humiliated them but he forgot his own lover's birthday and called them a pathetic cheater, as they didn't feel like reminding of what the day was. They had left off with their friends, returning at HOL at night only to get yelled at.
Caring friends as they were, they tried convincing Mc to leave which his love refused. So, they left pitying the poor human.
No-matter how much Mc begged her companions to stay, they didn't.
Oh the suffering for His Normie, they ran upto him vulnerable-ly and started hitting him weakly, breaking down. Why was he? Why was he like this?! Why must he always leave you crying due to his envy?!
"Hey easy...calm down please, I'm sorry. I really am sorry, please forgive me and I promise I will make everything right. Please." "How..?" "Please trust me. My love." "Are you sure..?" "Yes...yes...I love you..."
Could you really trust his statement? You wondered. He could forget his word much like how he forgot your birthday.
The great admiral of hell's navy was true to his word, and successfully united you again with those who almost abandoned you or it seemed like--but no they were just disappointed. They were never going to do such a thing.
The meet went smoothly, and soon the the sun was setting casting shadows along with dying light, it was a dreamy sight for anyone.
Leviathan had known that he still had to make upto you properly and therefore, he took you to the cosmos of frodane.
Red, blue, yellow, any colour you could possibly think of was there, shining as brightly you were.
Taking in a shaky breath, the Avatar of envy gave you a bouquet, each flower consisting different scent which complimented the other.
The shimmer in your eyes gave you away and he gave you a sweetly addicting kiss while mumuring...
"I always cause some mess. It is never your fault. I’m sorry for making you feel unhappy. I cannot believe that I cause hurt to you. You are my only hope for my life. I promise you that I will do my best to make a better version of myself for you, my 3rd waifu~"
-------------------------------------------------------
And here we go... the pain and the suffering. Lol
Hope you like it and stay safe everyone. ♡♡♡
Have a good day!
#obey me barbatos#obey me luke#obey me belphie#obey me swd#obey me diavolo#obey me lucifer#obey me leviathan#obey me smut#obey me imagines#shall we date#obey me mammon#obey me shall we date#obey me angst#obey me#obey me demon brothers#obey me headcannons#obey me headcanons#obey me mc#obey me scenarios#obey me x mc#obey me x reader
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avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them
Bucky Barnes x reader
Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)
Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst
A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!
There was nothing you could have done.
You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.
You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.
You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.
“Yes?” the AI responded.
You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”
“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”
You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”
“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”
“Don’t let anyone in this room.”
“As you wish, Y/n.”
You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.
And you lost it.
You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.
You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.
“Y/n, come on we have to go!”
“Wait - no I almost have them!”
“Help us - please - no don’t go!”
Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.
A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.
You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.
The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.
You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.
And you had lied to them.
The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.
The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.
The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.
“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”
“You would’ve died Y/n!”
“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”
You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.
“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”
The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.
You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.
It was yours.
So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.
You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.
You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.
You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.
“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.
This was your fault, and you would never forget it.
---
The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.
You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.
The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.
Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.
He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.
He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.
“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.
Steve didn’t look up.
“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.
Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.
“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.
Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.
“What happened?” Bucky asked.
Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.
Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.
“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.
“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”
“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.
Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.
Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.
But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.
----
Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.
You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.
“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.
They died terrified.
“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.
You were supposed to help them and you failed.
“No, God, please stop…”
They died because of you
----
You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.
You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.
You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.
But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.
And it was destroying you.
----
You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.
Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.
He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.
He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.
None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.
F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.
When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.
“Y/n?”
Silence.
He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”
Silence.
Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.
Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.
You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.
“Y/n -”
“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”
“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.
“It’s not your fault, y/n.”
You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”
“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”
“Not if I can help it.”
“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.
“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“I’m fine.”
“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”
You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.
“Y/n, there was nothing -”
“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”
Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”
“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”
Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”
“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.
“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”
“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.
“Y/n -”
“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”
“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”
“But if I had a few more seconds -”
“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”
You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”
“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”
“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.
“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.
Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”
“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”
“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”
You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.
Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”
“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.
“Because you have a good heart.”
You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”
“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”
“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”
Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”
He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
--------
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ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + RYŌMEN SUKUNA || HOW THEY WOULD APOLOGISE TO THEIR MAD S/O
| featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sakuna from jujutsu kaisen
| warnings : grammar errors and a lot of my side comments
| form : headcanons
| published : 27 november
| request : Hello! How are you? Hope you’re taking care of yourself :3 can I request headcanons for Itadori, Megumi, Gojo, and Sukuna making their s/o really mad for x reason and what they would do to make it up to them/apologize? Thank you have a great day/night!
| barista’s notes : hiya! this one was kind of hard for me to do since it was hard to come up with reason on why you were mad at them (some of them are really stupid in my opinion...ʕ ゚ ● ゚ʔ) but this update is going to be the last one for the night since it is 12am aka midnight and i’m going back to school after being in isolation for 14 days!\ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ/thank you so much for requesting for a cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come again soon!
ITADORI YUJI:
Itadori will be the most clueless boy ever and doesn’t even know that you are mad at him in the first place.
It might take a few days or a few hours at best for him to realise that you were mad at him - probably Fushiguro will tell him that you are pissed at the boy.
Once he FINALLY finds out that you are angry at him, he would try to think back on what he could have done to make you angry at him - and boy, does he think long and hard because once again to remind you: he is clueless.
Did he do something stupid again? Did he accidentally eat your food again? Did he forget something? DID HE FORGET AN IMPORTANT DATE?
Yes, when he tries to recall what he did that made you annoyed at him, he does tend to overthink it.
You know what you were mad at him for? He had indeed eaten something of yours by accident. The reason why you were mad at him was because he ate the last of your ramen that you were saving after the mission that you were set was finished.
Now since Itadori thought he was completely screwed, he would full-on plan a whole game/movie night with you.
Sukuna would lowkey mock the dude as Itadori was preparing his room causing our poor boy to worry even more since Sukuna was making him feel more nervous.
This preparation of his will include the game consoles set up, piles on DVDs on the table for you to choose for the both of you to watch and your favourite ramen that he brought from the closest store - that he also still doesn’t know he ate accidentally ate - cooked and set on the table for you guys to munch on.
Once everything is prepared, he would slap Sukuna’s mouth if he is still talking and would make his way to your room.
Now, this can go two different ways:
1. You are too stubborn to give in and refuse to leave the room that he would beg you and lowkey will physically drag you out of your room.
2. You would sigh and agree to follow him to see if he realises what was the issue and see what was going on because there was a lot of ruckus in his room from what you heard.
Once you see his room, you are generously surprised at what he had prepared since you didn’t think he would put this much effort to apologise to you - you generally just wanted a verbal ‘sorry’ but this was too cute to not forgive him.
Once both of you settle down and get into what YOU had chosen to do, he would apologize in a nervous tone since he STILL doesn’t know why you were mad at him.
“Yeah babe, I’m really sorry for what I did, well...I still don’t know what I did but I kinda notice you were mad at me and I didn’t know what to think since I thought I forgot a date that he planned or-”
This boy will ramble and ramble until you stop him by kissing him since you didn’t realise that he was overthinking it.
“Baby, don’t overthink it, I was mad because you ate the last ramen packet that I was saving but this whole thing really was a lot then what I expected, but thank you so much for preparing this whole thing! I love you!”
“Am I forgiven then?” - this boy I-
“Yes yes yes you are, I forgive you Yuji”
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI:
Fushiguro Megumi. Now how do I say this? This pretty boy will be between not realising that you are mad and realising instantly that he had angered you.
When he doesn’t realise that you are mad at him, he would notice the small behaviour changes that you express from a slight frown on your face or now you would give him short answers.
Short answers being: “yeah”, “alright”, “okay”, “nah” ect, with the longest answers being “that’s fine/cool” or “I’m not feeling it”
But! That was only towards him, with the other guys you would give more detailed answers to them, making him surprised since he probably asked the same thing.
Once he realised that you were annoyed, (like Itadori) he would try to wonder what he had done wrong and (unlike Itadori) he would most likely figure out what he had done wrong this time.
The reason why you were mad at him? You were angry at the pretty boy because he was hiding his feelings again.
Even though you knew that Fushiguro wasn’t one to express his emotions freely like the others, you both promised each other that you would go to each other when either one of you was having issues or problems that were bothering you.
And since you knew that Fushiguro held in his emotions, you allowed him time to come to you when he needed - but this time, you knew there was something that was bothering him extremely to the point where he was getting distracted during missions
Distracted to the point where he was nearly hit if you didn’t come to protect him and allow him to snap out of his daze.
Now that the reason was identified, Fushiguro would quickly try to figure out how to now apologise to you.
Since Fushiguro is a good listener, he would most likely buy a small bouquet of your favourite flowers since he remembered you mentioning that random fact from a conversation that you both had around when you and Fushiguro first met, trying to get to know each other.
He doesn’t apologise in front of anyone because this little issue was about you and him and not everyone else.
So when he found you somewhere in the hallways, he would lightly place a hand on your shoulder before shoving the flowers in front of your face - since he didn’t want you to see his flushed face.
Of course, you are really surprised since who wouldn’t be when a bunch of your favourite flowers just randomly appear in your face.
Once you take the flowers from his grasp, he would probably have a hand scratching the back of his neck - why was he nervous now when seconds before he was just fine?
“I’m really sorry…….for not telling you what was going on, I just didn’t want to bother you with my issue and all that,” - this would be said in a low mumble that you nearly couldn’t catch what he said.
“Mimi, telling me what is bothering you isn’t a bother, I want you to be okay, just please when you’re comfortable to come to talk to me, if you need a shoulder to lean on, I’m right here,”
There are times when Fushiguro forgets that you don’t mind him ranting off when he needs to and that you are a shoulder that he can lean on - he just used to keeping everything in until he met you.
“Also, you remember my favourite flowers, thank you so much, Mimi, you are forgiven, I love you,”
Just seeing you smile at him again after so long is enough for him to smile as well, knowing that you have forgiven him.
GOJO SATORU:
Mr Gojo ‘steal your girl’ Satoru.
Now this man will make you mad on a daily but not to the point where you are now.
And Gojo will notice INSTANTLY that you are mad at him because he is so used to making you mad due to his constant teasing.
But this time you weren’t mad at him because he took his teasing over the line. No, no, no, you were mad at him because he was late for your date.
Even though Gojo is known to be very handsome and the ‘perfect’ person to everyone on the outside of the shaman world, his lateness was one of his worst traits about him.
Sometimes you ask yourself if he does this on purpose - but in the back of your mind, you know that he attracts many curses and that he had to fight them - but this time, you knew that he was late because he was just late.
So while you’re waiting for him with a slight scowl on your face, you would constantly check your phone to see if he texts you or just to check the time.
Of course, he would send the usual ‘I’m going to be late’ with a cute emoji at the end - like that was going to make your anger lessen at all.
But when he does text you that he had arrived at the date location, you were ready to explode at him for making you wait - for like how many dates now?
However, once he arrives with his fashionably late safe, he would come prepares - Haha try to get mad at him now~
In his hands, there would probably be a white bag containing the souvenir that he had been wanting to give you after his mission but didn’t have the time to, or a white box containing your favourite cake from your favourite cake shop/cafe/bakery.
Damn it, this guy knows that food always solves every issue~
“Sorry for being late to our date honey~ I wanted to get you your favourite cake that I forgot that there was going to be a long line at this time, hope you can forgive me~”
THEN THIS MAN WILL TILT HIS SUNGLASSES GLASSES TO LET YOU SEE HIS CRYSTAL BLUE EYES - LIKE WHY????
Damn it, now you can’t stay angry at this man.
The fact that he dressed up so nice, got you your favourite cake and let you see his beautiful eyes made you realise that you can no longer be mad at him.
Like the boy put in the effort today…
Taking the cake from his hands, you would probably blush and say “thank you...but I’m still mad at you”
If you say this, be prepared for this man to cup your cheeks and continuously kiss you, trying to affectionately make you forgive him.
Okay okay okay, now he’s just trying to be very very cute.
“Am I forgiven now honey~ I’m sorry that I made you wait, please don’t be mad at me”
“Okay, okay! I forgive you!”
Expect that cheeky smile that he would give you after you forgive him - I mean like, you have to now.
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
Apologise? Would he? Does he even know what ‘sorry’ means? Do you think he would?
If he really cares about you, he would probably push away his pride and there would be a 50/50 chance that he would apologise, so don’t expect it much.
But if you were really mad at him and ignore him for most of the day, he would probably get very very annoyed.
Why weren’t you paying him any attention? Why weren’t you looking at him? Why weren’t you asking for him to shift with Yuji and let him have you all to himself? Why?
The reason? You were mad at him because he exorcised a curse that you knew you had the capability to do yourself.
Does he think you're weak? You were just angry at the thought of Sukuna thinking you were frail since you were an independent woman and he had no right to do your goddamn job.
Once he gets to his boiling point, he would demand Itadoru to switch with him and if his vessel would ignore him for your sake, he would continuously shout at the boy even when he is trying to sleep - poor Itadori……
Once it gets too much for the boy, Itadori would run to you and just randomly grab your shoulders to stop you from what you were doing and quickly explain what was going on.
“Okay, I’m going to switch with Sukuna and you are going to talk to him. He’s been annoying me ever since you stopped talking to him, please shut him up!”
Then before you would even get a single syllable out of your mouth, he would just switch quickly to let the both of you deal with your situation.
“Okay woman, talk to me! What have I done?”
You would probably just stare at with an annoyed look and tut at him before turning your head away like he doesn’t exist.
However, he doesn’t take this action of yours lightly and would probably grab your chin - gently since you are mad at him - and would just start leaving biting your neck.
“Sukuna! Stop it, the marks are going to show!”
“Not until you tell me what I have done wrong woman”
“Sukuna! OKAY! You think I’m weak and I hate the fact that you think I am, I can exorcise curses myself you know!”
Ha? You were mad at him for protecting you? Sukuna thought that it was ridiculous that you were mad at him for that reason - but will just go with the flow because even though you were just a powerful sorcerer to him, you being angry was a slight fear of his (Sukuna fears Oh my….)
“Idiot, I was protecting you”
“I can protect myself dickhead”
“Ha? I apologise, then, there done, do you forgive me?”
Sukuna….what type of apology was that?
If you say no, he would just continue to bite on your neck to make you forgive him since he really wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
“Sukuna! Stop it!”
“Not until you forgive me little one,”
Ah, that nickname always gets to you, doesn’t it? - Girl, I don’t blame you….
“FINE FINE FINE! I forgive you, just stop biting my neck”
Looking up at you and looking you at dead in the eyes, he would literally say, “I don’t think so, I was actually having some fun marking your neck, let me continue little one”
I-.....go ahead…….
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen headcanon#jujutsu kaisen hcs#jjk headcanons#jjk hcs#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#itadori yuji#itadori yujii#itadori yuuji x reader#yuji itadori x reader#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro x reader#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk itadori#jjk fushiguro#jjk gojo#jjk sukuna#itadori yuji headcanon
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Legal Guardian
ugh this took way too long lol, but here it is!!! i forget exactly that sparked this but i thought it was a cute idea.
warnings: injuries (nothing major), hospitals, cursing, harry being a protective dad 🥺, talks about adoption and legal guardians, crying
wordcount: 2481
harry styles x reader, stepdad!harry x reader, stepdadharry x oc!stella
masterlist
Stella gets hurt and Harry is the only one there- but he has no legal jurisdiction…
.
.
.
It all happened really fast. Harry can’t even recall how it started, but he knew very well how it ended. A sobbing Stella strapped into her car seat as he raced to the emergency room, frantically calling Y/n who was in a different state on a work trip.
The 5 year old didn’t understand what was going on, she just knew she was hurting… really bad. And that she wanted her mommy and daddy.
The traffic seemed to be working against him, getting in his way at the most inconvenient times, all the while he was trying to console his weeping daughter, crying out “Daddy it hurts so bad!” effectively shattering his heart into a million little pieces.
Stella had been playing happily in the backyard at home, showing off her wonderful dance moves to Harry who watched with an adoring smile on his face, taking little videos to send to his fiance, when suddenly she was laying on the ground, clutching her ankle, and crying for him to come get her. He rushed into action, not having seen her take the fateful step into what must have been a hole in the ground or something.
Screeching into the hospital car park, he stops somewhere he obviously wasn’t supposed to but he couldn't care less. His mind was racing. What if she broke her ankle? Or tore a ligament? What if she has to get surgery? All of this is what he worries about as he flings the back door of his car open, trying his best to appear calm for his daughter (but it’s not really working), and scoops her carefully into his hold, bringing her inside and shouting for someone to please help him.
A few nurses rush to his side, asking him different questions and asking for someone to “Page Dr. Robbins, tell her we need a peds consult.”
Stella is whisked away from him and before he can start to follow after her, a hand is placed on his chest, stopping him in his place.
“Sir, we can’t have you in the room with her. You’re not on her file as a legal guardian!” A doctor tells him. In that moment, he sees nothing but red, steam pouring out of his ears.
“The hell I can’t, I’m her father! I’m not going to let her sit in there all alone while strangers poke and prod at her!” He all but yells at the man. Harry is not violent. He really isn't. But he’s not afraid to lay somebody on their ass when it comes to his girls. With kindness or course. And maybe a black eye.
From the room she was taken into he can hear her crying for him.
“Wan’ my daddy! Daddy!” Harry didn’t think his heart could break any further than it already had but he was proven wrong by the ache in his chest that only grew stronger the longer he was kept away from his lovebug.
“Doctor, respectfully- if you don’t move the hell out of my way, I will move you myself. That is my daughter, and my fiance is in a different state right now on a business trip so I am the only parent she has right now. If you try to keep me from my child I will take legal action against the hospital and sue for everything you’re worth. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Harry is seething, trying to move past the man in the white lab coat and light blue scrubs. Again, he is stopped.
“I will call security, sir!”
“DADDY!” Stella is now screeching, her little voice hoarse from all the yelling and crying.
“Don’t you fucking hear that? She needs me, and you’re telling me I can’t go be with her! What the hell kind of doctor are you?” Harry is in the man's face, pointing at him vehemently. He doesn’t care that people are starting to watch the scene. Doesn’t care that some people have recognized him and are recording the ordeal. Let the people see him fighting for his family. He doesn’t give a rat's ass if his “image” takes a hit. His daughter is on the line and he won’t back down.
“She’ll be fine-”
“No she won’t! Go ahead and call security. My daughter needs me and you’re not going to stop me from being in that room with her.” With that he pushes past the doctor (who must be an intern or something with how he’s handling this situation) and rushes into the room where his baby is screaming for him. He’s at her side in a matter of seconds, wiping the tears from her face, peppering kisses onto her head, petting her wild hair back from her face, just consoling her in any way that he can.
How fucking dare they try to keep him from her, especially when she’s in a state like this.
“It’s ok baby girl, daddy’s here now. I’ve got you. You’re ok, you’re ok!” He mumbles into her hair, doing his best to stay out of the way of the people examining her but still close enough so she knows he’s right there with her.
Little tears still streamed down her face but she was much calmer now, her breathing more even and body less tense.
“Mr. Styles we’re bringing in the portable x-ray to take a look at her ankle, so you’re going to need to wear this.” He nods and takes the vest given to him, putting it over his shoulders like he sees the others do. A similar article is placed over Stella, who is clinging to Harry’s hand, fearing that she’s going to have to be without him again. But he promises he isn’t going anywhere.
As they’re taking the x-ray his phone starts ringing in his pocket and he checks to see that it’s Y/n calling him back.
“H, what’s wrong, is she ok?” Her panicked voice rushes out as soon as the call connects.
“We’re in the ER right now and she’s getting an x-ray to see what’s going on with her ankle-”
“You’re in the room with her right? She’s not alone?”
The little shards of his heart keep breaking into smaller and smaller pieces as her voice breaks.
“Yeah, I’m right next to her. Don’t worry m’love, she’s not alone!” He glared at the doctor that tried to keep him out as he said that, letting him know he hadn’t forgotten.
“I’m gonna facetime you so I can see her.” She said and he nodded, waiting for it to come through. When it did he quickly accepted it, seeing the love of his life’s face on the screen, with her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks as she wiped away the remaining tears so she didn’t freak out her baby.
“Stell, mumma’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”
“Hi baby girl!” Y/n said as soon as Harry held the phone so Stella could see her mom. The little girl's tear stained cheeks looked exactly like her moms, and her heart broke for her baby.
“Hi mumma,” Stella pouted into the camera, clutching onto her daddy as tight as her little hand could. Harry was a little uncomfortable but he would take this over not being in here at all.
“How do you feel, baby? You ok?” She asked.
“My foot hurts and they wouldn’t let daddy in here and I was scared, but he’s here now so I’m ok.” The little girl rambled off. Y/n almost missed how she said they wouldn’t let Harry in the room but when it finally registered, she was fuming. Absolutely, royally pissed.
“What do you mean they wouldn’t daddy in there?” Stella shrugged and looked up at Harry for an answer. He brought the phone back so he could see her after looking around at the doctors in the room, all doing their job and pretending they weren’t listening to this conversation, but a few of them winced when Y/n asked her question.
“Some bloke tried to keep me out of the room while Stella was being examined but she was on the verge of a whole breakdown. It was like Disneyland in Paris all over again.” He said, referencing the time Harry took his girls to Disneyland while they were in Paris and Stella got separated from her mom and dad. She had never not been able to see at least 1 of her parents before. Needless to say… she didn’t handle it very well. Screaming, crying, and hyperventilating (which freaked her out even more- causing her to scream louder and cry harder) ensued very shortly, disturbing every person around her. But it made it easy for them to find her and she spent a very very long time clutching her tiny arms around her daddy’s neck, not letting him set her down for anything. That was an interesting trip to the bathroom …
“Why would they try to keep you out of the room? You’re her father!” Y/n was on the verge of popping a blood vessel. Of course the one time her baby really needs her, she’s hours away.
“Uh, Mr. Styles, I’m so sorry to interrupt! But the x-ray is complete. There’s no break, it looks like a sprain at worst. Also, about why my intern was saying you weren’t allowed in the room, not that I was listening to your conversation, with ped’s cases we typically only allow legal parents or guardians in the room and your name isn’t anywhere on her file or on her records so he was just trying to follow safety protocols. He didn’t go about the situation as well as he should have because we always want to make sure our patient has what they need and that was obviously you- but that is the reason why you initially weren’t let into the room. You’re not a legal parent or guardian. Based on your situation- you’re legally considered a step-parent and that title doesn’t come along with any legal jurisdiction.” Dr. Robins explained, in quite a few words Harry thinks, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Just sits and realizes that while for the better part of a year and a half, he’s been calling himself Stella’s dad but the whole he’s not been anything… not legally anyway.
Y/n realizes this too and makes a mental note to call their lawyers to do something about that.
“That makes sense… Thank you, Dr. Robbins! I have her mum on the phone, but you knew that, so if there’s anything else I legally can’t do, she’ll have to take care of it like thi-”
“Mr. Styles, we won’t tell if you don’t! Anything else that needs to be signed, we’ll just go ahead and have you do it. Save the hassle for everyone.” Dr. Robbins interrupts him and he smiles, silently thanking her.
“Daddy, what's a legal guardian?” Stella asks after a quiet moment.
“A legal guardian is someone who takes care of you because the law says they can. So because I didn’t help mumma make you and I came into your life a little later, I’m not a legal guardian of you. Not yet anyway.” He mumbles the last part but Y/n catches it.
“Does everyone have a legal guardian?” She hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes with the hand that wasn’t clutching Harry’s.
“At one point yeah, but once you get older you don’t need one anymore because you can take care of yourself.”
The girl pauses, thinking about her daddy’s words before muttering “Don’t wanna take care of myself. Wanna stay with you and mumma forever.”
All the little shards of his heart slowly start to piece back together.
“I want you to stay with me and mumma forever too lovebug.” He cooes. Y/n’s eyes light up, her gaze filled with adoration for her little family.
. * .
*
“The documents are all drawn up Mrs. Styles, everything is ready for your husband to sign.”
“Thank you so much Ben!”
. * .
*
“Baby, c’mere. Wanna talk to you about something.”
“Yeah mommy?”
Y/n took a deep breath, trying to quell the tears she could already feel threatening to fall. Her newly wed husband sat beside her on the couch, running his hand along her back and squeezing her shoulder and letting her know he was there if she needed him.
“Do you remember when you and Daddy had that conversation about legal guardians?” The woman asked, pulling her baby into her lap, brushing her hand over the girl's hair affectionately.
“Uhhh, kinda.” She murmured, curling into her mom.
“Do you remember what a legal guardian is?” Y/n rephrased, hoping to jog the girl's memory. Stella nodded and when prompted by her mother explained that “It’s someone who takes care of you until you're old enough to take care of yourself.”
“That’s right baby, very good!”
“And do you remember when we were at the hospital and that doctor was being mean, not letting Daddy into the room with you?” Harry chimes in, scooting closer to his girls. She nodded with a roll of her eyes and a huff of breath, causing a little giggle to erupt from her parents. She really is her mothers daughter.
“Didn’t like him.” She mumbles.
“Do you remember why they didn’t let him into the room?” Y/n asks, knowing she should probably get to the point before her little one checks out and gets bored.
“Cause daddy’s not my legal guardian.” Stella huffs again, rubbing her eyes and nuzzling further into her mom.
“Do you want him to be?”
Stella’s quiet for a moment, tapping her little finger on her chin like she’s thinking hard. “Yeah.”
“Yeah? You want that baby?” Harry asks, pulling her into his lap. The girl wraps her arms around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder, nodding.
“Yeah, Daddy. Want you to be able to come to the doctors with me.” She mumbles sleepily.
The tears Y/n had been fighting off finally broke through, despite her efforts. It’s official. Harry is going to adopt Stella and they would be a family in every sense of the word. No one would be able to take Harry's little girl away from him. All he had to do was sign the paper. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes as well, smoothing his hand along his baby’s back.
“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that…” He says, squeezing her a little tighter. Y/n snaps a quick picture before she snuggles into them.
“Love you Mommy, love you Daddy.” She murmurs before falling asleep in Harry's arms. Something that isn’t new, but feels different now for some reason. Things felt a little more official and he hadn’t even signed the papers yet.
#daddy? series#stepdad!harry#stepdad!harry x reader#dad!harry#harry styles x reader#stepdad!harry styles#harry styles#harry x reader#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles x singlemom!reader#harry x singlemom!reader#singlemom!reader#one direction
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Another request I accidentally deleted (though I don’t remember doing so but I take responsibility) but the main focus was overstimulation on Kenma so if it isn’t what the requester wanted, I apologize!
Warnings: alcohol mention, overstimulation, foursome, anal, nipple play, handjob(s), orgasm denial, dacryphilia, cum play, fingers in mouth, spit, lube, not much talking
BokuAkaKuroKen + Overstimulation — Kenma receiving
Bokuto and Kuroo were always a duo you loved and hated in a way. Together they were the life of the party and would often be the last ones standing, if not solely because Bokuto kept Kuroo from falling asleep or passing out after a few drinks. Loved, for those reasons, but hated because they often forgot filters around each other and perhaps others wouldn’t want to hear what’s going on or that their partners small secrets would slip by unnoticed. For the most part, Akaashi and Kenma were aware of these and didn’t need to bother with worrying too much, but sometimes some bedtime secrets would be loosed from lips without their knowledge.
“A few tweaks to his nipples and he’s practically putty in my hand,” Kuroo smirks, giving a lidded gaze full of pride towards Bokuto. “Akaashi can’t beat that,”
“Of course he can! All I takes is knowledge of where to poke and stroke, if you get what I mean,” Bokuto winks, but Kuroo isn’t buying it.
“I meant outside, not inside. Obviously that’ll get him sensitive. Can you get Akaashi to cry before even putting your hands on his lower area?”
“I mean.. I haven’t tried. I usually go in for the thighs first, so I’m already down there. Sometimes he’s ticklish, so I have to be careful, though,”
“Him? Ticklish? I can’t see it,” Kuroo shakes his head, leaning back against his chair while sipping on his coffee. Bokuto, with his hand on his chest and a horrified expression on his face, straightens his back.
“His laugh is wonderful and it’s only in certain areas, but he’s one of the most sensitive when it comes to tickling. In fact, I’ll even prove it when he gets back,” he practically inaudible ‘hmph’a when he finishes his sentence, but the conversation switches to other things in no time at all.
Akaashi and Kenma leave them two to talk while they go and do their own things, but never leave them alone for long. Soon after they’ve switched topics, both of their boyfriends come back with bags of new books, as well as the newest gaming console Kenma wanted. Bokuto had forgotten about his mentions of ticklish Akaashi, and soon enough Kuroo and Kenma were leaving and heading back to Kenma’s place.
Kuroo may have forgotten about it and Bokuto may have forgotten about tickling, but one thing he couldn’t forget was Kuroo mentioning how sensitive Kenma was. He wanted to see Akaashi get overly sensitive just from his nipples, just a few fleeting touches that have him crying out for more. Yet, he knew Akaashi better than that and knew his nipples weren’t as sensitive as Kenma’s supposedly were. Even more than that, he knew Akaashi would be suspicious if he tried to tease an area he had previously never paid much attention to.
In fact, it wasn’t long until Bokuto called Kuroo and asked for tips on stimulating Akaashi without getting to the main course. He had faith in his abilities to render Akaashi a tear-filled mess within seconds, but he refused to have not beaten Kuroo in something as simple as this. Kuroo, however, could only grin in pride as he told Bokuto there wasn’t a way for him to beat him if Akaashi wasn’t as sensitive. “It just isn’t in your cards, the deck is different and the game is similar but not the same,”
“Then I just need to prove myself with Kenma’s body, right?” Bokuto said, not putting too much thought into it. Kuroo was stunned, but not for long before an idea was planted in his head. “Though I guess—”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll show you how it’s done and we can get him into a puddle within seconds. You can even bring Akaashi, so he can see what it’s like for Kenma,” Kuroo interrupted, making Bokuto freeze as his words registered.
“Okay!”
Kenma’s shy about his body being on display, but he can’t deny he somewhat enjoys the attention he receives from his three friends. With Bokuto’s intense gaze while he makes sure to please Akaashi with his hands, Kenma can only really focus on the way Kuroo’s cold fingers flick his nipples, his spit coating them to add to the coldness. Kuroo’s hands are completely absorbed in tending to Kenma’s nipples, his cock is throbbing with pleasure without even being touched. It doesn’t help he can see how Akaashi’s falling apart with flushed cheeks and small tears just from Bokuto’s hand alone, that and his determination to not let Akaashi finish until Kenma does.
A pinch to his sensitive nipples spells the end for Kenma’s resistance, his teeth clenched as drool spills from his lips and his body jerks as his cum splatters against the bed, oozing into the creases. Almost immediately after his post-orgasmic gaze has cleared, he hears a strangled cry from Akaashi as his body twitches on Bokuto’s, head thrown back as Bokuto’s hand is coated with sticky cum. Some of it drips onto the floor, but most of it goes into Akaashi’s mouth as Bokuto presses his fingers to his lips, mouth opening mindlessly to lick and suck on the digits.
With the tutorial over, Kuroo and Bokuto switch spots so Bokuto’s behind Kenma, with Kuroo bringing Akaashi to the bed and sitting behind him. Now it’s time for Kenma and Akaashi to see how well their friends can please them, how they please and tease best. With Kuroo behind Akaashi, he uses the same method on a slightly overstimulated Akaashi, rubbing cold fingers against perky nipples that have Akaashi sighing in pleasure. Bokuto makes sure to prep Kenma, coating his fingers in lube as he pushes them in to spread him out.
Pushing two thick fingers in has him practically melting into Bokuto’s arms, his cock twitching as more cum gushes out, splattering against Akaashi’s thighs. Akaashi’s cock is hard, but it only throbs and bobs, waiting for attention. Kenma is only still in the beginning of getting prepped for Bokuto’s hard cock, yet he can’t even keep his head up long enough to see Kuroo and Akaashi, too busy drowning in so much pleasure all at once. He does raise his enough when he hears Akaashi gasp, and feels a presence in his lap near his cock.
With lube coating Bokuto’s cock, the bottle is passed to Kuroo who coats his own cock and preps Akaashi for entry. Akaashi, who is currently using his tongue and limited consciousness to lap at Kenma’s cock, fingers digging into his thighs as Bokuto enters him. The stretch is more than he expected, a strangled meal erupting from him as Bokuto enters him in one fell swoop, completely splitting him and hurling him into another orgasm. Without warning, his cum coats Akaashi’s face, who managed to close his eyes in time, and his hand.
When Kuroo pushes into Akaashi, his eyes roll back as he hangs his mouth open in an ‘o’, letting spit and drool drip onto Kenma’s lower regions that quickly have his cock springing back to life, his cock red from stimulation as tears stream down his face. Giving a couple of thrusts to Akaashi, Kuroo uses his hand to keep Akaashi’s head down so he can suck off Kenma while Bokuto fucks him. Akaashi does so, swirling his tongue over Kenma’s sensitive tip before taking all of his cock in his mouth and bobbing to Kuroo’s thrusts.
Bokuto also begins thrusting, using his arms to move Kenma in rhythm to Akaashi’s sucking, attaching his lips to Kenma’s throat as he makes marks blossom on the skin. Big and red, Bokuto makes sure to nip his skin with teeth that has Kenma crying out each time as his own hands find their way to his nipples, teasing and playing with them as stimulations come from every direction. Bokuto hasn’t even barely begun and he’s already overly sensitive, his body flushed.
By the time Bokuto’s thrusts stutter and he just leans back as he watches Kuroo fuck Akaashi, who is still sucking Kenma off, Kenma has almost passed out from the stimulation. Finally, Kuroo pauses in his thrusts, moving his hand to Akaashi’s sensitive cock that finally has him finishing, bringing Kuroo to his orgasm as well. Watching as they come undone together, Kenma can’t help but clench around Bokuto, desperate for his release. Merciful as he is, Bokuto give another couple of thrusts that hit Kenma’s sweet spot before he’s painting his walls white, filling him up until it’s overflowing and Kenma’s orgasm is hard hitting, but little comes out due to his previous ones.
Satisfied and full, Kenma all but passes out on Bokuto’s lap, his hands going towards his nipples and his sensitive cock. Pressing his lips to Kenma’s neck, Bokuto glances at Kuroo who is lovingly rubbing his hands over Akaashi, soothing him. They both look towards Bokuto, while all three share a smile.
Definitely something to try again.
#BB.Requests#BB.Kinky#haikyuu smut#Mr. Kōtarō#Mr. Keiji#Mr. Tetsurō#Mr. Kenma#Kozume.Spice#Bokuto.Spice#Akaashi.Spice#Kuroo.Spice#tw.alcohol#tw.overstimulation#bokuakakuroken smut#BokuAka smut#kuroken smut#bokuto’s the main character I’m not sorry#tw.dacryphilia#tw.orgasm denial
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Hello! I remember you said you could write for Sally Face even though it's not on your list (if I dreamed of it, excuse me 🙏), since you still look like you're in the fandom... How about the #4 of the prompt list with Sally Face? If you do not write for him I apologize 😭
Hello dear Anon! Yes, Sally Face maybe is the video game I'm most fond of, I can write for him, I just don't always feel like making the requests that come to me about this game. But don't worry! Asking is always fine! Thanks for the request!
P.s. This is more fluff than angst I think, I apologize, is that there is already a lot of angst for him
73- Sally Face, Sal Fisher x Reader
From the prompt list
4- “Do you know what it’s like?”
Gizmo's purr lazily fills the silence in the room, the big cat is taking his ration of free pampering perched in your boyfriend's lap.
His fingers glide absently on the white and tawny fur of the half-asleep feline, while behind his mask you catch nothing but an absent gaze directed at the void between his knees.
By now that beautiful sky-colored eye of his communicates with you without the need for words, and you see how much it seems dull and lost, so much so that it appears almost glass like the one on the right.
Sal is always so sweet and so strong. He has so much weight on his shoulders, yet you always see him accepting everyone else's too. He never complains, he doesn't fidget, and he doesn't scream, not even when he gets angry, and if he does he apologizes as if he's at fault.
You love him, you really love him. You feel it in your guts, especially now, that he is like this.
You don't really know what's troubling him, yet you see how sad he is. His shoulders are bent slightly forward, and his blue hair slips free, covering even more of his usual mask.
Even though you know you are free with him, you are terribly afraid of hurting him. You're afraid of saying something too much, something he doesn't deserve.
As you leave the book you were reading by your side, you try to remember when Sal began to wither.
You noticed it after the last outing you did with the others, but you have no idea if those thoughts that seem to be spinning in his head were already floating around before, and you curse yourself for being so inattentive towards him.
"Give me space Gizmo" you mutter with a playful pout, picking up the lazy cat to move it a little further "I want the cuddles too."
Sal just cooes as his hands remain motionless, letting you nestle your head in his lap.
Once you are comfortable in your new nest, his fingers gently touch your forehead, while you are busy trying to come to terms with the big cat who insists on trying to stay on his master's lap too, at the cost to sit on your face.
“Come on Gizmo. Let me be a little jealous every now and then. " You snort, pushing the royal furry butt away from your nose.
"Are you jealous?" Sal's question is surmounted by the meow of the fake tiger who decides to snuggle in the hollow between your shoulder and your neck.
Your eyes roll up into his gaze and for a moment you don't know how to read that question. You feel him terribly serious, and in a way, you don't know where he is going.
"Yes ... I'm jealous of you ... that is ... is it normal I think?" You know that sincerity is always the best choice with him, but you still bite your tongue, wondering if you are giving the wrong idea.
His caresses have stopped while he silently looks at you, and you don't know what he's thinking, you don't know if you've unknowingly touched a nerve or if you just added a new thought to him.
"Why?" His question comes out as a surrendered sigh "You have no reason ... I say ... it is you who can make others love you, not me."
His words take your breath away for a moment.
"What are you saying…?" You murmur, as you raise a hand to touch his turquoise locks "you know how to make yourself loved even by those who don't even know how to love ..." you whisper softly, yet you don't seem to convince him.
His sigh becomes more impressive in the rumble of his mask, and you look at him patiently, while his hands undo the hooks that block it to his face.
Few people know what lies behind that prosthesis, and it hardly ever happens that he leaves himself so spontaneously in the sight of others. It's because it's you, you know, and it flatters you, yet something so immediate still surprises you.
You believe that his face is something magical, because no matter how grotesque it is, how almost you could say that there is no face, but you love it, you loved it from the first moment you saw it. Maybe because you were already in love with him.
"You were beautiful that night." His words still confuse you, and you force yourself to accept the idea of having entered a minefield. So you were right, was it your last outing that upset him?
"Sal ..." you get up, and now even Gizmo has realized he has to leave space for you, moving to the next pillow.
He doesn't look at you, his eyes are closed, but he continues to keep himself completely exposed to you.
"I really mean it. You are always beautiful to me, but that night ... that night you felt beautiful too, didn't you? You were, you really were, and ... "his shoulders give way a little further forward, as if he were about to collapse under an invisible weight. "And if you hadn't been with me, someone would have come to you. Maybe he would have offered you a drink and then ... "
Your lips part for a few seconds, looking for something to say, but you really don't know what ground you're walking on.
"I'm not really beautiful Sal, I'm just-"
"A normal person. What else do you want?" His abrupt interruption silences you.
In a moment his eye is on you again, alarmed: “Sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, I didn't mean to be bad. "He whispers softly.
Sal Fisher, always so attentive to others even in his moments of despair.
"Only that ... you ... do you know what it’s like? To be like that…"
His voice just trembles, and you forget to breathe. You would like to remove all doubts and insecurities from him, but you cannot do it.
"No ... no Sal, I don't know ..."
"That's okay ..." he murmurs, trying to console the guilt of your tone "I don't know what it is like to be you either, but ... it can't be so pleasant to kiss bare teeth ... right? It must not be pleasant to feel this dead flesh against your skin, and it must not be pleasant to wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and find this monster a few inches from your face ... I just think ... I just think you should know that you can certainly find someone else ... someone else other than me. "
You have always admired him, also for all the strength he has to live with that weight - one of many - that he carries with him. Perhaps subconsciously he has always found a way to make his flaws simply characteristics, his style. With or without his ponytails, Sal was always recognizable and, in a sense, charismatic.
But you know that even if he is so strong, so resilient, the weight does not disappear.
"Sally Face ..." you murmur softly, as you move your legs to be able to sit astride his lap.
"You know ... I've always looked for many things from life." Your fingers casually play with his tufts of hair "And I swear to you I never thought I'd find what's really essential to me right here."
Your palms rest gently on his rib cage as his slowly brush your hips.
"You might find someone different from me too, Sally Face, but I don't want you to, please." You just smile "Also because ... after a nightmare you are the first thing I look for, and when I find you ..." leaning forward you are greeted by the loving arms of your boyfriend, while you take refuge in his chest, snuggling up to his heart "I do this, and I stay listening to you until I fall asleep again. When you sleep peacefully you never notice, but you always welcome me. "
Curled up there on his chest like now, you have no idea what's in Sal's eyes. All you see are a few blue locks of him falling over your cheeks, while he lets you relax under his chin.
His silence leaves you on alert, and even if you don't move, you look for any clues that might tell you something about his emotions.
A slight tremor in his chest and a restrained sob from him make your heart tremble, but his slowly calming beat just makes you snuggle closer to his body.
"I-" he starts off lightly, but then stops immediately, and when he resumes, you're sure he's changed the subject, but it doesn't matter anymore. "Am I such a heavy sleeper?" He asks, with a shivering chuckle amid the slight gasps of silent tears.
You laugh lightly as you lift yourself up to look at him. In your hands, his cheeks are rough and wet, but even as tears flow from his eyes, he doesn't look agitated or hurt.
"Well, you recover the sleep that all your nightmares take away from you."
Your fingers slide gently under his eyelids to collect his tears. You don't ask him why he cries; you know that in his chest he has a reservoir where he keeps all his emotions and, every now and then, they pretend to come out.
"Wake me up next time you have a nightmare, you're always there when I have mine."
You smile softly as you rest your forehead against him. You wouldn't change him for the world.
"For once, let me take care of you Sal."
His sigh hits your nose as he snuggles a little more against you. Calmly it seems that he can channel his emotions into a single torrent.
"Take care of me?" He murmurs against your lips “How about picking up the phone and ordering a pizza for the two of us? It would make me very, very happy. "
Your cheerful laugh fills the room, while your lips touch what remains of his: "And the ice cream?"
"And the ice cream." He confirms as he accepts your sweet kiss.
There seems to be a long night of pampering with Sal and Gizmo ahead of you, what more could you ask for?
You gently kiss his cheek one last time, before getting up in search of the device to order your dinner.
"Hey ..." before you're too far away, your hand is lovingly held by Sal's "I don't want anyone else next to me."
Your eyes dive into him for a moment, and what you find is nothing but a clear and sincere sky that takes your breath away every time it lands on you.
"Me neither. I wouldn't want anyone else even for a single day of my existence. "
#sally face#sally face x reader#sally face sal#sal fisher#sal fisher x reader#one shot#angst/comfort#fluff
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"Stop fucking looking at me like that!"
Referencing this post I made, I thought why not :’D
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
Rummaging through the big chest, Enderman supplied it with the new items he gathered. Meat, vegetables, a potion for the worst case. Buckets of water and milk, everything you needed to have as a human. It should be enough to last at least for the upcoming weak, but you had been complaining about it rotting and molding since you couldn’t eat it fast enough or preserve it. You were also craving fruits. Biting his lip, he thought hard about how to accommodate your wishes better when he suddenly heard the growling of a zombie nearby, making him come to an immediate stop.
If he was quiet enough, the zombie shouldn’t be able to make you out inside this little, sparely filled room he created. No one said it would be easy to accumulate enough obsidian to build this hut. Still, it was the only way to keep you safe, even if it took him forever. All these monsters and treacherous villagers outside were after you, and even if he was able to keep them at bay for a long time, what if one day he couldn’t be around to keep you from harm? Perhaps it wasn’t a very pretty domicile, but it was safe. The only light source was one window, but he built it high enough so no zombie, skeleton, or creeper would be able to look through it. He collected a bed for you, chests, and books from the village, but that was all there was to keep you busy.
Enderman listened intently, waiting for the footsteps and grunts to disappear before he could let out a sigh of relief. Even with all the precautions he made, one could never be too safe. Even if he wasn’t worried about himself, if it was for you, he’d do everything to keep you far away from the dangerous mobs roaming the world. Continuing to pack your chest with edibles, he didn’t notice you slowly waking up, rising behind him. Enderman made a point out of coming at night rather than day to avoid the one thing that made him uncomfortable. While he would have loved interacting with you, the human custom of keeping eye contact was something he could never bear to endure. Not even for you.
Even now, your eyes drilling into his back, he began to shake anxiously, hoping you’d recognize him and go back to sleep.
But you didn’t.
You never did.
“It’s late,” he chuckled nervously, slowly closing the lid of the chest before standing up. He had to raise the ceiling quite a bit after realizing he couldn’t fit the space after he built it. Even if he could teleport in and out at his leisure, with his size, it would have been hard to stay with you in an emergency had he kept it at his first draft. But he learned that humans quite liked high ceilings, and secretly he hoped that meant you liked him too, considering his size.
“You should be sleeping. I brought new food, so you can rest assured.”
Was he just talking to overcome the awkwardness? You’ve been nearly killing him with this silent treating of yours, only ever looking at the back of his head. It was unfathomable why you’d treat him with such disrespect. He had voiced his discomfort more than once, but you insisted that you hated his treatment of you, and as such, he’d have to endure the same. But how could you? All of this was only ever in your best interest. Out there, you’d have done the same to keep safe - build a home and gathered food - so why did you hate it when he did it? Wasn’t he good to you? Didn’t he try his best to fulfill all your wishes? Was it too much to ask for that you were safe under his care?
“Please stop,” he whispered with clenched teeth, the shaking of his body getting stronger. “What more do I need to do to make you stop looking at me like that?”
“Let me go,” you finally spoke up, the sound of your voice almost as beautiful as he remembered it--no, even better! A quiet gasp escaped him after finally receiving a word from you, and he turned around for the first time in forever to face you.
A big mistake.
Your eyes met as Enderman suddenly felt overcome with a wave of emotions. He wished it had been only positive ones, but there was no way he could escape his instincts. Doubling over in pain, he grunted, trying to keep himself under control, but to no avail. Even in his state, he could clearly perceive the shuffling of blankets as you got up, noticing the state he was in. Though he wanted to believe you cared for him, it was clear you were merely concerned about what to do if something happened to him. But that would be enough. Even if you just liked him for his use, it would be enough to satisfy him. As long as he could keep you safe, you could use him as much as he wanted.
The obsidian made no sound as he gripped you by the wrists, slamming you into the wall. Your body, on the other hand, made an absolutely horrifying crack, so much so, Enderman feared the worst already. But one look at your eyes showed them clear as day, still very much able to perceive him. Perhaps adrenaline soothed your pain momentarily.
“Stop fucking looking at me like that! I told you so many times to fucking stop! When will you listen?!”
His yell filled the whole space around you two. If he hadn’t been seething with anger, he’d have instantly regretted raising his voice. No less because it could have attracted unwanted visitors. Enderman had never lashed out at you before, never done anything that would put you into the opposite of what he wanted - danger. But here he was, eyes falling to your mouth as your breath hitched, unable to form a word. All you did - finally! - was looking down and away from him before pinching your eyelids close tightly.
Immediately, he felt much calmer, now that you weren’t drilling holes into him anymore. Regaining his senses, he let go of you, letting you plummet back onto the bed he held you above. Whether or not you were in pain wasn’t something either of you seemed to notice. Instead, you were quick to hug yourself, fearful tears rolling from the closed corners of your eyes despite no sobs escaping you. You had no weapons to defend yourself, and a punch didn’t do as much as one of his did to you. It must have been a big shock for you to see the other side of Enderman, one you had a hard time comprehending.
Placing his hand on your shoulder, you flinched noticeably before finally breaking down into crying, collapsing forward onto the mattress. Enderman stood there lost for words or actions to console you, wanting to say something, apologize even! It didn’t matter who’s fault it was, he never wanted to see you hurt or crying! That’s why he did all of this after all!
Instead, he remembered the peculiar thing he found in one of the villages. It was a banner, something he thought you might enjoy hanging up in your tiny home, but when he reached for it now, he had a different idea of what to do with it. Ripping off the bottom wasn’t easy even for him, especially since he allowed no tools or scissors in this safe space. But once he had it, he returned to your side, kneeling next to your bed and lifting your head gently. You tried to turn your face away, but he had a tight grip on you, nudging you to face him. Good as you were, you kept your eyes closed still.
Even if he couldn’t be sure how to do it, he loosely tied the cloth around your head, covering your eyes with it. “W-What…?” you stuttered meekly, feeling the fabric on your skin, and Enderman hushed you gently. “This will do. You won’t be able to look at me this way. You’ll never need to be afraid anymore; this will keep you safe, I promise.”
Whether his assurance went through to you, he couldn’t decide, unable to read your expression as you bit your lip. Your body began to shake again, and it felt almost like his whenever you made him uncomfortable and anxious. Enderman knew this feeling all too well, but you wouldn’t need to bear it alone. He could if he had to, but he wouldn’t let you go through these complicated feelings alone.
Easily, with inhuman strength, he picked you up, sitting down where you had been just seconds ago, and lifted you into his lap. Finally, his big body and long arms were good for something, even if he hadn’t expected it would be comforting you. If it was for him, you two could have continued the relationship you had. Enderman would have simply stayed by your side while you slept, brushing the hair out of your face and pulling up the blanket over you to make sure you had a good rest. You didn’t need to recognize his efforts, and you could even scream at him if you’d prefer that, but it wouldn’t have mattered. He knew you were safe and well-taken care of, and he’d never forget you needed him. That was enough.
But now that he held you in his arms, he wasn’t sure if it was enough for him anymore.
Now that this awful habit of looking at him had been prevented, nothing was stopping him from being close to you. Now he could touch you, hold you, comfort you tenderly! All without fearing what might happen. “It’s going to be alright now,” he hushed you sweetly. “I’m so sorry I lashed out, I will do everything to make it up to you! I’ll bring new books and flowers to decorate with soon, everything will be okay. You can always rely on me; I’ll keep you company from now on, trust me!”
He meant it. Even if he didn’t understand most of the complicated feelings you had, you must have felt relieved as you started to cry even more. And so was he. He was relieved too. Who knew being with you so close, holding you, and swaying back and forth with you felt so wonderful. The only other time he held you, felt your warmth and heartbeat, had been when he teleported you inside of this room. Enderman had always believed that to be the height of all emotions, but he now realized there was so much more! So many more opportunities and feelings to explore. But you had time, right? He wouldn’t be greedy; he’d take his time to explore them all with you and enjoy them thoroughly.
After all, you were safest with him.
And he was the happiest with you.
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