#feel free to reblog with a different answer in the tags!
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radfem-polls · 1 day ago
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Open ended question-
I found out my boyfriend watches porn. I know that he loves me, but it still hurts me deeply, and while I love him, if this habit is to continue it may be a dealbreaker for me. I asked him to stop, and he said that he would try. I really thought he was different. I really thought he wasn't like the others. I'm lost at what to do. I don't want to lose him, but I just can't condone him doing this. Feel free to give suggestions in rb or tags.
Do I
Have another conversation with him about why I'd like him to stop
Accept his usage and let it be
Set guidelines as to how I'd prefer he used it
As you can see, I'm a bit lost. Suggestions are more than welcome.
yeah i already know the answer you're going to get
-🐌
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karmaajr · 10 hours ago
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HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰
anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person-being-blog-whatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)
and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍
🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D
sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)
✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️
I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT
btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋
anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧
also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!
karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3
karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^
important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)
karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘
daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰
my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO
NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶
BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏
btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍
ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)
@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏
@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"
@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!
@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)
@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE
@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)
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(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)
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(dots r fun)
anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D
ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️
WAIT
⁠⁠⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
.......... ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
.................... ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
.............................. ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
........................................ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
..................................................ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠
............................................................ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ
......................................................................⁠ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ
THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼‍♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 2 years ago
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jar0jelly · 1 year ago
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solstices-dreams · 2 months ago
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𝟐𝟓 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒. ❆ ⋆⁺₊❅ .
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a series of questions for the days leading up to christmas for shifters!! Some of these questions are Christmas specific and others aren’t, feel free to answer what you want and how you want, ex. moodboards, short answers, longs answers. And if you’d like, you can reblog so it reaches more shifters. Merry Christmas and Happy Shifting :) post tags are #shiftmas #shiftmas2024 tagged: @arishifter
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⌗ 𝟏. christmas caroling ; What are a few songs that remind you of your dr? Why?
⌗ 𝟐. gingerbread houses ; What does your house look like in your dr? Who do you live with? What is your favorite aspect of your house?
⌗ 𝟑. eggnog ; What is some drama going on in your dr?
⌗ 𝟒. sledding ; What does a hang out with you friend group look like? Where do you go? Who is your friend group?
⌗ 𝟓. snowman ; What is your OOTD? (outfit of the day)
⌗ 𝟔. stockings ; What is your family like? What are your relationships with different members? Any extended family? Who is visiting for Christmas?
⌗ 𝟕. candy canes ; What gives you dr euphoria? (like gender euphoria but for your dr…)
⌗ 𝟖. mistletoe ; Who is your s/o? What is your dynamic and how do you spend time together? Are you two doing something special for the holiday?
⌗ 𝟗. snowflakes ; What are some headcannons you have about people in your dr?
⌗ 𝟏𝟎. icicles ; What is your occupation in your dr? Your coworkers? (Or if student, your classmates?) What is your favorite and least favorite aspect of your occupation?
⌗ 𝟏𝟏. tree skirt ; How did you find out about shifting? What was your first dr and what is your main dr now?
⌗ 𝟏𝟐. ornaments ; What are some objects you have in your dr that you don’t in your cr? Why do you have them in your dr?
⌗ 𝟏𝟑. sleigh bells ; Are there any priveleges you have in your dr that you don’t in your cr? What are they?
⌗ 𝟏𝟒. cookie cutters ; What are some smells that remind you of your dr? Why?
⌗ 𝟏𝟓. elf on the shelf ; who is your main wingman/women/person? What is your dynamic? What do you guys do when you hang out?
⌗ 𝟏𝟔. wrapping paper ; What is your favorite way to script? Why is it your favorite way?
⌗ 𝟏𝟕. gift tags ; What is your camera roll like in your dr? (photos or just describe it)
⌗ 𝟏𝟖. snowballs ; What is a silly scenario you are looking forward to in your dr?
⌗ 𝟏𝟗. mittens ; What are your hobbies in your dr? How do you usually spend your down time?
⌗ 𝟐𝟎. ice skates ; What is your ideal date in your dr? (friends or s/o)
⌗ 𝟐𝟏. coal ; What is something unpleasant you have/have to experience in your dr? Why are you not looking forward to it?
⌗ 𝟐𝟐. tinsel ; What is something fun or random you have scripted? (ex. Thundersnow is more common, you have a ring that allows you to read minds, you have good luck with thrifting, you’re good at gambling.)
⌗ 𝟐𝟑. fir tree ; What are some traditions you have in your dr but not your cr? Why?
⌗ 𝟐𝟒. hot cocoa ; put together a moodboard of your dr or you in your dr
⌗ 𝟐𝟓. christmas ; How are you spending your christmas? Who with? What might be some gifts you are giving and to who?
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divider credits.
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tumbler-polls · 1 year ago
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When you picture yourself in your mind, do you imagine yourself precisely how you look in real life, or do you see something else (an alter ego, a person who looks differently, another being, etc.)? When you're visualizing from the first person's pov, whose hands are you seeing? If you have aphantasia, consider "seeing" as a metaphor for the way you think of the concept of yourself.
The main options (we put them here due to the character limit):
🪞: I only imagine myself the way I look like irl.
🪆: I imagine someone/something that represents me.
✨️: I imagine myself in multiple ways: the way I am, as another being, as an abstract concept, you name it.
Please reblog for a bigger sample size and feel free to expand on your answer in the comments / tags!
Credit to @anon (we added a few options).
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ikuzeminna · 25 days ago
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I need your help with a hypothesis!
For context: My linguistics professor and I got into a discussion after a test she did with us, and I was of the opinion that the reason for the results was different from the one she offered, so she encouraged me to test my theory.
What I need
All you need to do is draw a coffee cup (with a handle, not the disposable stuff) and then answer three questions.
I don't need to see the coffee cup. You can draw it wherever you like; on a piece of paper, digitally, in the sand, on a foggy window. Anything works. It does not have to be good. A doodle is fine.
You have to draw the coffee cup before you see the questions. This is very important. If you decide to help me with this, please doodle the coffee cup before you keep reading.
Assuming you have drawn the coffee cup, I now need you to answer these three questions:
On which side did you draw the handle?
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Do you primarily write using the Latin alphabet or a different one? (please specify which)
More context
Most people will draw the handle on the right side. My professor says it's because most people are right-handed, so they draw the handle in the direction that would be comfortable for them to pick up.
I said drawing it on the right side just felt more comfortable to my hand and argued it's probably because we write a bunch of letters like that. B, b, D, P, p, R all look like a tiny "handle on the right side" and are all a straight line followed by a round one (so "cup first, handle second," like most people draw cups). The Latin alphabet doesn't have letters like that that face the other way, except maybe d, depending on how you write it, so it makes sense to me that people writing mostly Latin letters would go with the handle on the right side.
Which means that I need to know what Asians, Arabs and Greeks do and if the distribution of left and right sides of handles differs from the Latin alphabet group. Cyrillic seems to favor right, too, though it'd be interesting to see if there are differences.
If there are, my theory is right. Doubly so if there is a sizeable increase in a group whose alphabet has letters that benefit the left side choice.
So feel free to spread this to as many people as you like and put the answers in the comments or the tags of a reblog. The more answers I get, the better I can assess whose theory is better.
Thank you for your help!
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strangesmallbard · 7 months ago
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feel free to reblog and explain your answer in the tags!
EDIT: please don't google before answering! i'm interested in knowing more about what you've previously learned.
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russellsppttemplates · 8 months ago
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Straight from the heart (Lando Norris)
It takes a bad race for Lando to notice how much he has neglected your relationship, and he can only hope he can fix it
Note: english is not my first language. I was fighting the other piece I was writing so I jumped to this one and I did something a little bit different (* cough cough * longer) and see how it goes! I'm not sure how good this is (or how much you will want to kill me), but I promise this has a happy ending!! 🥹🫶
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: relationship struggles, curse words
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3
The result on the screen was not the one you hoped. Lando had a wonderful race, but a mixture of bad strategy calls, dark rain clouds appearing on the sky with only a couple of laps left to finish the race and the wrong tire compound made him lose a good number of places, cars overtaking him in the last seven laps.
"Is the race over?", you mother asked as she stepped inside the living room, carrying the curtains she had left out to dry and proceeding to hang them back in their place.
"Yes, just now", your father said as he adjusted the volume on the TV, "let me help you, darling", he offered, getting up and standing beside your mum in case she got out of balance.
"Are you going to call Lando?", your mother asked once her squinty eyes read the position he had finished in. Even though the prescription glasses were on the table, she insisted she didn't want any mishaps after she accidentally dropped her last pair while she was gardening and one of your younger cousins found a rusty frame a couple of months later when he was over.
"I'm not, I don't think - he's flying back tonight and the timezone is so different, I don't want to bother him", you blurted defensively, making up excuses as you went along with your answer, "he's doing the interviews, and I'm sure the debrief will be long and torturous - he will need his rest to fly back", you stated as you got up, "I have to check on the project I handed in on Friday, the professor said he would post the grades around this time and if we want to appel, we have to do it right away - I'll be in my bedroom".
The subject was an open wound that stung everytime you so much heard a mention of it, let one having to seem completely okay with it when it ripped through your heart.
The calendar on your wall is full of stickers, both with notes, urgent matters and things you couldn't forget. It's the last stretch, you tell yourself, one more week and then it's done and you'll have a well deserved break.
A knock on your door catches your attention as you reply with the allowance to let whoever is on the other side in, "is something wrong?", you asked. Lately, the negative side of your mind was the first one to speak.
"That's what I want to ask you - that conversation we just had downstairs was not your usual self", she sighed as she pointed to the living room, "I've noticed you haven't mentioned him much, but I don't want to intrude or offer my help because I know you don't like meddling", your mother looked for your eyes before you could fully focus on the wooden floor.
"Things have been rough between us lately", you sighed, "Lando is keeping me at a distance, and I don't know the reason why, mum", you shrugged, "I don't know if it's because I've known him all my life and the comparison is so profound, but it seems he only cares about racing and his friends, and I'm nowhere in the mix. We rarely call eachother, no texting - I know the triple headers are intense, but all I got from him were reactions to my stories and a little video from Max where he's in it and said something to me", you recalled, "I can't be the only one making an effort, can I? Either he realised where this is going and we catch it while we can, or I don't know where this is going, I don't know where we're going".
Your mother's heart broke as she saw you allow the tears you had held on to fall freely, your sleeves bunched up on your hands to wipe them, "and have you talked about this? A long, grown-up and serious conversation?", she mused.
"We have barely been with eachother, mum!", you whispered shakily as more tears got caught on your throat.
"Couples go through phases, darling - do you think me and your father was all smooth sailing?", she tried to get you to smile as she brushed your hair while she hugged you, "you need to talk to eachother, seriously and let it all out, nothing is off limits because that's how you'll get to where you need to".
You kept your head on your mother's chest, accepting her comforting hold despite being an adult. A mother's hold was truly the best.
You hoped she was right and this was something that would pass. A rough patch that you and Lando would work through a look back on with a sense of accomplishment.
This wasn't how you and Lando end, is it?
.
Max and Lando headed for the plane as soon as they left the race track, having made prior arrangements to had their luggage there waiting for them once they arrived. Max was the first to sit down and get himself comfortable on the seat, texting his girlfriend to let her know they were leaving.
"Y/N hasn't called or even texted me, nothing", Lando mumbled, "didn't she watch the race? Doesn't she know that I need her?".
Max weighed in the good and the bad that his next few words could do. He could either be honest and encourage his best friend to finally come to his senses, or keep covering the lie and perpetuate the suffering and miscommunications.
"This is not how I wanted to do this - truth be told, I never wanted to have to do it", Max rambled off.
Lando was quick to notice that there was more to it than just this instance, "you know something - she's my girlfriend, Max, if something is happening, I deserve to know", he said in an antsy tone.
"Are you really so blind to it? Have you not noticed it yet? Damn it, Lando, I've been on your side, trying to clean it up and now I'm questioning it", Max declared as Lando only grew more confused.
"What am I missing Max?", Lando snapped, even catching his own self off guard at the reaction he had.
"Mate, think about the last couple of months and whether or not you have been a good boyfriend, or even the boyfriend Y/N deserves", Max offered.
Lando wasn't expecting that answer or point of view.
The last couple of months roll through his memory as if he's watching a movie and when he tries to select the moments he spent with you, he finds himself struggling to gather any at all. He can't remember any of the times you spent together, and considering his memory isn't that bad, it could only mean those moments didn't even happen. Thinking about it, he can remember the last time he held you in his arms, just the two of you.
"Fuck!", Lando shouted, punching the arm rest.
"Glad you figured that one out almost all on your own", Max tsked, "do you really think you deserve any interaction from Y/N? Thought so", Max muttered. He didn't like the situation his friends found themselves in, and he certainly didn't feel any joy in the words he told Lando, but the truth wasn't always easy to hear.
"Seems Y/N doesn't think so either", Lando mumbled, "do you know anything? Has she told you anything?".
He wasn't sure he deserved to know, but he needed to.
"The last time I spoke to her she didn't say anything - you know how Y/N doesn't want to bother anyone with her things and getting information from her is harder than solving the world's problems -, but P and her talk here and there", Max reasoned, "she obviously won't tell me all the details but from what I can tell, Y/N has really taken a toll because of this, P is always quite upset whenever it comes up", Max offered. Quite upset wouldn't cover it, so much so that, unbeknownst to Lando, the last couple of time Max's girlfriend couldn't join them for their plans was an orchestrated excuse from her to avoid being in the same room as the McLaren driver.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!", Lando groaned into his hands, "how could I not realise this was happening?".
"You want the honest, blunt truth?", Max asked and Lando nodded, "I know it's your job, but lately, it's all been about racing, and I think you've neglected Y/N ", Max offered.
McLaren had a one hundred and eighty degree turn lately. From struggling to get their cars in the points, the team had managed to turn things around to the point where P5 and P8 was considered a bad weekend for them.
With the new signings, Quadrant had grown exponentially and it had naturally drawn him to spend more time on it, and it seemed to have alienated everyone in his life that wasn't directly a part of those.
It wasn't intentional, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. And by the looks of it, the person Lando loved and cared about most was also the one he hurt the most.
They both sat in silence as the British drive thought about all of it. Things got so good that he didn't look back, he worked his hardest and gave every piece of himself to the cause and the new territory he was paving. Being on the podium was a common feature for him, and the race win was there, up for grabs and he wanted it. Yet, he had been dazzled by it and had let himself fly higher, his characteristic "both head and feet on the ground" posture no longer present and resulting in a degree of neglection for the things and people thay mattered to him.have always been important to me.
"How did I push away the most important person in my life and I'm just now realizing this?", Lando asked, not really expecting an answer, but rather to let out all the frustration that boiled inside him, anger soon following at his late realisation, "what's worse is that I've only come to realise this because you had to tell me - stupid, stupid, stupid".
"I don't know what you want me to tell you, mate, and frankly there isn't much I can, but look on the bright side: now you have a chance to fix it", Max tries to comfort Lando.
"What if it's too late? What if Y/N doesn't want to be with me anymore?", Lando voicesd his deepest fear. What if the anger had finally got to you and you wanted to call it quits?
"Wouldn't you be able to understand that? I don't think that is the case - I've never seen two people who love eachtoher more than you two, it's as disgusting as it it lovely most times. And even though she might feel angry or hurt, I believe she has it in her to forgive you", Max states.
"I hope you're right", Lando sighed as he tapped his phone, his finger hovering over your contact.
"I wouldn't do that", Max chirped, "you should rest before diving into anything about that topic, and today has had too many emotions as it is. Tomorrow is a new day for you to think about it", he advised.
With his head on the headrest, Lando went over everything that occupied his mind, allowing the heavy sinking feeling to settle in. To a degree, he deserved the discomfort he felt. Shame, guilt, frustration, remorse, embarrassment, overwhelm, sadness.
What if he had destroyed the thing that made him the happiest? If I managed to single out the person who loved him for him?
.
Lan 🧡
Hello. You were probably expecting a text or a call, but the last few days haven't been easy and I needed to ground myself a little. We really need to talk, Y/N. Do you think we can grab lunch today?
It irritated you how quick your heart was beating the minute you saw who sent you the text after you submitted all the projects that you had left. Battling an inner fight of whether or not you should answer it, you decided to so it. Rip the band-aid off, Y/N.
To Lan 🧡
Hello... We do urgently need to talk. I'm on my own today - where do you want to go?
Your tone was cold and unusual when you compared it to the older messages, filled with hearts and the pet names you had for eachother.
We can go to that café by the marina, the one with the paninis you really like.
Yes, we'll meet here at one pm.
Do you want me to pick you up?
No, I'll walk.
Your sunglasses are good enough to hide the nervous gloom on them as you walked to the marina. There is no script or guideline to go about this lunch other than honesty and finally admitting everything you were feeling. It could go either way and, truth be told, you believed it would go down the way it was supposed to.
Stepping on the wooden path to the small café's outside area, you looked for the boy whose arms were where you used to feel safe.
Lando chose a table that overlooked the water, the warm sun shinning and bringing out the blue of it. It would be a big conversation, and while the café wasn't crowded, he never knew how things could pan out so he went for the most demure spot.
When you take a proper look at him, it surprises you. His eyes are not shiny like they usually are - there's a dark hue surrounding them along with sadness.
"Hey", you utter out to grab his attention.
The moment he faces you, you feel naked despite the summery dress you have on. All vulnerabilities exposed for the person who knows you best and who can read you like the back of his hand.
"Hello, hi", Lando cleared his throat, "how have you been?".
Setting your bag on the chair, you shrugged, not ready to engage in casual chit chat.
"Do you already know what you are having?", he wondered.
"The italian panini and iced tea", you mumbled after looking at the menu he handed you, "have you ordered yet?", you mused before calling the waiter to do so.
The silence between you after the waiter left the table was painful and hard to digest. You avoided looking at his colourful eyes - once you did it, breaking down would be in an instant.
"We really need to talk, Y/N", Lando says.
"Do you want to go first? Or shall I?", you asked bitterly, accepting his silence.
The waiter comes back with your orders. The café doesn't have a big menu and it's mostly empty, so the service was quick, "I hope you enjoy it - Bon appétit!", he interrupted the tension filled moment.
"I recognise I need to apologize to you for all the things I did without realizing it an-", Lando was cut off by you.
"Let me stop you there before this derails", you stated, "I'm here to have a serious, grown up conversation, so I'm not going to sit here and listen to dusty and beaten up childish excuses".
If the ground could sink him into it, Lando would've accepted it gladly.
"It's a start that you have realised that something was wrong, but you can't excuse yourself like that, Lando. Not when this situation has taken proportions that you can't fanthom - you can't get away with being sorry for not noticing what you were causing", you argued.
Lando gave you a nod, "I'm still not sure about all the things that led us to this point and what it entails, and that's why I wanted you here. I don't want to be blind to it anymore - I want to get all of it so all the pieces make sense in my head. You probably won't believe it, Y/N, but I'm so lost in this. I feel like I've lived a parallel universe for the past couple of months", Lando added all in one go.
"When did your feet come back to the ground?", you mused, "when did you feel like maybe things weren't the way they should be?". The curiosity was killing you, and the answer could very well do the last stab.
"When I lost all of those places in the race", Lando gulped, "I expected you to call and to hear your comforting words, and they never came. Max was the one to bring my mind to the matter", he admitted and you could see he was the opposite of proud of his own actions, "How I've been the worst boyfriend in the world and how I deserved that you didn't call - hell, I'm not even sure if I deserve that you're here today and willing to listen to what I have to say".
It's difficult to maintain a tough appearance and pretend that his words don't affect you, but alas, you keep your armour on.
"That afternoon was a struggle for me, Lando. I wanted nothing more than to call you and hear your voice, silence your cornerns and negative thoughts, let you know that you're the best driver out there and that a bad race doesn't define you. That it wasn't your fault and that you shouldn't beat yourself up because of it, that I was still so proud of you and how you handled things and that nothing could keep me from shouting to the rooftops. But you didn't deserve it, my dignity has been punched by your actions day in day out for the past couple of months and I couldn't take it anymore".
"I need you to hear things from your side, I need to know your perspective so I can understand what I did wrong and if I'm able to fix it still", Lando asks desperately.
"We should start from the beggining then", you laced your hands on top of the table after taking a bite of your panini, "I think it was at the end of the last season - at the time it didn't seem like it, but looking at it now, it was the start. I even took some time off and travelled with you so we could enjoy your break, then I came back for university. It's never easy, I know, but up until then we never had any issues with it - even if it was a bloody run, we made time for eachother. Then, you barely texted, let alone call - but all relationships hit rough patches and I thought that it was ours. Then Christmas came around and we finally felt like us again, there were no work or uni commitments, and it was bliss. After that, life happened again and I couldn't find a way to spend time with you - there was always a Quadrant video to film or a meeting or some event. You, Max and Martin went to Bali, and despite the fact that I didn't have any exams and could easily do university stuff remotely - like I do everytime - you didn't even think to ask me if I wanted to go or if I had planned something for us in the first place. I just took it for granted that you would spend it with me, but when P showed me the photos I looked like a fool and an ungrateful friend and girlfriend because I stayed back, Lando. I never felt so humiliated. Max had his girlfriend and you didn't, you ignored me as if I didn't matter to you", you breathed out. Ruminating was one thing, talking about it out loud was another. The latter angered you less and hurt more.
"I'm sorry", Lando murmured and you were quick to shoot it down.
"I don't need you to apologize now, Lando. What I needed was for you to make a decision then, one that considered me and what I wanted", you sighed, wiping a stubborn tear that got out, "after that, I just watched you pull further and further away, and I tried to get closer, work things out, but you wouldn't let me in. You floated and floated and I stayed here, both feet glued to the ground as I watched you go higher and higher. You were never like this, letting things get to your head wasn't something you ever did, but it happened. You alienated me in such a way that for this triple header, I didn't hear your voice once unless it was from the TV or the McLaren social media. You only wanted to call when you needed comfort, and it hurts that it took Max to help you see things the way they are", you state as tears fell uncontrollably down your cheeks.
Apart from your earlier bite, both wooden serving boards look full and no one made a move to go further.
"You told me time and time again that you would always be there for me, but when I was the one needing a cuddle and reassuring words, I was all alone in my bedroom, crying because of you. When you said you'd be there for me, I guess you failed to account for the fact that you can't protect me from yourself.. Because what hurt me these past couple of months was you", you declared, sniffling and, finally, looking into Lando's swollen and tear-filled eyes.
The tears Lando has been holding back fell. He was angry with himself, at how he had done the one thing he promise not to do to you. He made you hurt, he was the reason you were in pain and he couldn't keep you from feeling it.
"I wish I could tell you there was a reason behind it and that it all has some justification, but there isn't and I can't lie to you. I was propelled from the results and the promise that this could be our year - my year - and everything else faded away. I know it's not any help, but I'm not proud of what I did, and definitely not proud of the way I made you hurt - I wish I could turn back time and do it differently", Lando confessed.
"I needed you, Lando", she bit back.
Lando couldn't find any words after that and once you began eating the now cold panini, he followed your movements, granting you the quietest meal you ever shared with him. Lando was playful, loud, cheery and giggly on any other day. As much as it nagged you that your words were the ones to dim that light, you had to put yourself first. Someone had to.
"Can we walk along the marina?", Lando asked once you finished eating, earning your nod to his surprise.
You both get up, Lando paying for your meal at the front before you left the establishment. You walked along, looking at the luxurious boats and yachts before you found a part of the wall that you was comfortable enough to sit on, remaining in silence as you watched a couple of people unlock their yachts and sailing away.
Lando wanted to say something, to prove to you that he was sorry and that he still loves you more than anything, but the fear of saying the wrong thing and hurting you even deeper was not something he wanted to risk.
"You're going to break up with me, aren't you?", Lando voiced the biggest worry on his mind since he left his apartment.
"I walked here, so I had time to think about all of this, and all I could think was that I was going to meet you there, be reminded of all the pain you made me feel, and then we wouldn't see a solution to this. And on my way here, it got harder because I passed by the shop where we always go for croissants, and then that park where I tripped and you carried me home because of my bruised knee even though I could walk just fine, the bench where that lady asked if Mila was our daughter when your brother visited. And when I arrived at the café and saw you, I knew there was no way I could do it", you half smiled.
"I struggled to see what was happening, and I didn't see what was clearly in front of me, and I know I can't undo all of the crap that I've made", Lando pointed out, "but I can say that I love you, Y/N. I love you even more than when I asked you to be my girlfriend, which I never thought was possible, but everyday I love you a little bit more. I know I won't be able to love anyone the way I love you and, honestly, I'm not sure who I am without you, because I've turned into a person I don't recognise anymore and I'm afraid that if I don't have you around, this is the real me, and I don't like it. You make me a better person - since day one! I'll love you forever, but I also understand that you don't need this pressure in your life and that you want us to be over. I deserve that", Lando mumbled.
As much as the idea of not being with you hurt him, he knew it didn't equate to the pain he caused you hence why he deserved it if you dumped him.
"You're making it so hard", your groaned rubbing your temples, "It would have been so much easier if you had told me that you didn't care about this, that you didn't care about me anymore".
"That's never going to happen, Y/N", Lando assured you.
"It would be so much easier if I told you to fuck yourself off, wouldn't it?", you chuckled and Lando got to see a small glimpse of the world's best smile, "but I can't do it - I do think, though, that we need to take some time, for both of us to work on our own things", you suggested.
"I get it, you can have all the time and space you need, Y/N", Lando nodded, "would it be too much to ask if I asked you for another shot?", he wondered as you quirked an eyebrow, "I know you just asked me for some time, and I'll give it to you, but I'm not going to let you entertain the thought that I don't care about you or that I don't love you any longer. I'm still the same person you met all those years ago and I want to remind you why you fell in love with me in the first place - if that's even the case", he blurted, "please".
"Slow steps, okay?", you mused with a small small.
"Is it still the case?", Lando picked up where he left off, "are you still in love with me?".
"If I wasn't in love with you and if I didn't love you, trust me, I wouldn't be here", you smiled, squeezing his hand in yours on top of the warm stone.
.
Over the last couple of days, you felt lighter. University was finally over for the semester and you could rest, and the whole situation with Lando was better. Even though it hurt to tell him all of those things and see his reaction, and even if Lando still had a lot to make up for, you had to admit you didn't expect to feel like this right away. The right path was being trailed and you couldn't feel more at peace with it.
So far, he kept his respectful distance, which didn't mean that you didn't know he was there. Two days after you met him in the marina, Lando sent you a bunch of flowers to your doorstep, your mother being the one to bring them up to your bedroom since she was arriving from work as the delivery man was about to knock on the door, smirking when she saw who it was from.
You were getting ready to go out for a picnic with Lando. The sunny day invited you to go out and Lando seemed to think the same, sending you a quick text with the location and plan ideas.
"Where are you off to?", your mother asked as she noticed you looking for your hat, "you look very nice, dear".
"Lando invited me for a picnic", you offered her a smile despite the butterfly feeling on your tummy.
"I'm glad you're working things out, Y/N - I know how much you care about him. And even if he hurt you, he's doing the work to get you back - a lot of men would just give up, but not Lando", your mother nudged. She always liked him despite her initial concerns when he moved up the racing ladder and the toll it would take on you. For a brief moment, she was upset that she had been right, but she never lost the hope that the young man dating her daughter would fight for them and for her. For you.
"I'm not sure how long I'll be out, but if I'm not home for dinner, don't worry too much", you added, waving at her before closing the door.
You drove yourself to the park, politely declining Lando's offer to pick you up. As you followed the directions, you spotted Lando under one of the trees, seemingly battling with the corner of the picnic blanket.
"Hey, need help with that?", you called as you approached him, noticing his flustered face at getting caught.
"Hey! It's fine, it's fine", he dusted off his shorts, "I didn't fold the corner properly, never mind iron this", he grumbled.
"We're going to sit on it, I don't think we needed it ironed", you smiled, setting your small backpack on the blanket and occupying the space that wasn't covered with glass containers and pape bags, noticing the logo of your favourite bakery and the sweets shop near Lando's apartment.
"So, I baked these - who knew my oven works, hm?", he joked as he pulled out some granola bars that smelled delicious, "Jon did give me the recipe, but I made them! He says they don't have any harmful raw ingredients in them so there's no danger if they're not cooked properly".
"You could've told me to bring something too", you sighed, "you had all this trouble and I'm just going to sit here and eat it", you reasoned.
"I think we've gathered that I deserve all this trouble, even though I didn't mind doing it - I think I finally get it when people say they find baking relaxing, even if I just threw some oats and syrup on a bowl with nuts and chocolate", Lando shrugged.
You smiled at his antics, "this looks lovely, Lan - thank you", before you grabbed a paper napkin to grab the food.
Lando's heart did a little backflip at the pet name - when he thought about it, he can't remember the last time you called him anything other than his name.
He wiped the thought away as he noticed you get one of the paper bags, "It was no trouble, but I did have to make sure the lady at the pastry shop knew I was the next in line because there was this lady, you should've seen her, she was, like, eighty? I don't know, maybe more than that, and she was very posh and very proper and she was trying to cut in line! Then she started saying something in French and I was like 'no can do, madam! I need to get these croissants for my girlfri- for Y/N because they're her favourites' - I bet she wanted to get them first but I did!", he dramatised the scene, earning your loud laugh. How much he missed that sound.
"Seems like it was a little troublesome, though", you teased. Inside your chest, your heart beat fast at his efforts.
"You're worth it", he smiled before taking a bite of the granola bar, "not to toot my own horn, but for someone who eats pre-prepared meals, this is amazing! Try these!", he offered, forming a shell with his hand before he brought it up to your mouth.
For anyone else, this would be just another set of cute behaviours, but for you, it carried a sense of intimacy you hadn't felt in a while. Taking a bite of it and chewing, you had to admit the balance of the nutty taste and the chocolate was on point, "it is good, Lan! You should make granola bars more often - might even make a side business out of it!", you smiled.
"Charles has some ice-cream, there's alcohol from the other guys too - me? Granola bars", he smiled, eating the rest of it and looking at you. He would never be stupid again. He would never take you for granted. Never ever.
The conversation flowed once you started eating, mainly pointing out the new swings in the park or the pretty blooms that were showing up, and even though you weren't acting like you would had it not happened, it was comfortable and Lando had definitely put some effort into this.
"Thank you for this, Lando", you smiled after you helped him clean up the supplies, making sure he wouldn't have any spills and trouble taking the rest home.
"It's alright, really", Lando mumbled as blood rushed to his cheeks, "it wasn't much, but I wanted to make sure you remembered I'm still in and that I love you more than anything", he smiled, closing the basket and getting up with it to walk back to the car, "which actually brings me to an invite I want to make you", he went back to mumbling again.
The invite was a risk, he knew it. After all, it was the reason that got your relationship here in the first place. Yet, he wanted you there and he thought it would be good. Adding to it, it would be the way that he could make sure he was able to see you as it would be a busy day.
"What is it?", you asked as you walked with him.
"The day after tomorrow, we're going karting - Max and P are coming over for a few days, they arrive tomorrow - and I was wondering if you wanted to join us", he invited, "I know it's not the best environment to be in given al-", he started rambling.
"I'd love to go, Lando", you assured, touching his arm confortingly, "I might need a ride though, if you don't mind doing the detour", you pointed out.
"It's fine, of course we'll pick you up!", he smiled, happy and excited at your answer.
"That's me", you nodded to your mother's car, unlocking it with the key, "thank you so much for this, Lan, I appreciate it a lot", you smiled, raising your stance so you could kiss his cheek, "will you text me the details when you know, please?".
"Yes! Absolutely!", he gave you a big smile again, "until then, Y/N!", he waved.
As Lando walked back to his car, there was an extra spring up on his step, a new found energy and a smile that insisted on not disappearing from his lips.
Little by little, he was slowly getting you back.
.
"Why are we going this way?", Max asked as Lando took the first exit on the roundabout, "isn't the track that way?".
Lando couldn't contain his smile, "we're going to pick Y/N up first".
Max and Pietra exchanged a look before rhe blonde woman spoke up, "you finally came to your senses?".
"P!", Max scolded.
"It's alright, Max - she's not wrong", Lando added, "but yes, I have, and I'm working on it, respecting her but making sure she knows how much I regret it, how sorry and how bad I feel that it happened and how I'm trying my hardest to make sure it does happen again", Lando turned around once he stopped at the red light, "Thank you for looking after her when I didn't, P. I know you have been a good friend to her, so thank you for that", he added.
"She didn't deserve what you did to her, but I'm happy you figured it out and that you're working on it - I don't say it too often, but if you two ever broke up, I would consider that true love isn't a thing, what you two have is something else entirely", she smiled.
"Excuse me?!", Max dramatised, "what did you just say?".
"Did I lie, Max? Who was it that came home in a nervous fit without any fingernails because they bit all of them off after Lando realised what happened? The same person who couldn't even sleep because of it? Who was it, hm?", she quesioned her boyfriend.
Lando chuckled at his friends, thinking that they really had been made for one another, "you two make me look like the sanest person inside this car", he shook his head, pressing the pedal and turning into your street.
There you were, the person he was sure was made for him too. Your outfit was simple, consisting of black jeans, black trainers, a shirt sleeve polo and a cardigan on your arm.
"Hi guys!", you greeted, getting inside the car and kissing Pietra's cheek before putting your seatbelt on.
"Why don't I get a kiss?", Max pouted.
"Because you stink, that's why", Lando chirped in, "all ready to go back there?", he mused, sending you a wink from the rear view mirror.
Blushing, you nodded before looking at Pietra again, accepting her hand in yours as she gave it a squeeze. For the whole drive to the track, you engaged light conversation, mainly listening to the plans they had for the clips they were filming before they raced eachother since you and P would happily drive around in the karts just to pass the time.
For the first segment, you stayed on the stands, watching the team get the equipment ready.
"How have you been, Y/N?", Pietra asked as she handed you a bottle of water she had gone to her and taking a sip of her own.
"I've been well - university is finally done with and I can actually have a thought that doesn't involve it", you giggled, "and Lando is home", you offered.
"Now, I wasn't going to be so blunt, but that is the subject I wanted to get at", she raised her eyebrows playfully.
"He's... Goodness, he's Lando again, my Lando", you sighed happily, "surely, it still stings a little and we need to work through our issues, but we're trailing our way through them. Learning our ways together - it's a bit like falling in love again and it's such a good feeling", you blushed at your admission, "it's doing us well and we're going with it, and not out of it", you smiled.
"Y/N", Pietra cooed, "you have no idea how make that makes me! It's so good to see you so happy and hopeful", she squeezed your arm, "I was ready to avenge you on him, by the way, Max did us both a favour in telling him, because I was sure what I wanted to do to Lando was considered a crime and I'm a good person", she raised her hands defensively.
Once the boys were done, Max waved at you to come down and meet them, giving them the time to get your equipment ready.
"Come here, I need to make sure you don't fly out of your kart this time", Max called his girlfriend after she was fully equipped to go on the single seater.
You finished the makeshift hairstyle before you looked for the helmet, finding it in Lando's hands, "come here, big head, I'll help you put it on", he smiled.
As you approached him, you could see his sudden nervousness at having you so close to him, hands setting the helmet on top of your head and then pulling in on, "Look who's talking", you mumbled quickly before it was all the way in, his fingers gingerly touching your neck as he did the strap buckle.
"All good for our speed daredevils?", Max joked, getting an instant slap from Pietra before he got up.
"Does it feel safe, Y/N?", Lando checked with you, making you wiggle a little to make sure you were strapped tightly enough, making you flash his two thumbs up.
"Ready, set, go!", Max yelled before you and Pietra went off, happily driving on the track despite not extracting the full potential out of the kart.
"You and Y/N seem well", Max offered as him and Lando took a break before they joined you back at the track.
"I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this guilt on my chest, it's like a weird weight that sits here and gets heavy every now and again", Lando explained, "but I think we're going in the right direction, and I'm going to spend every day of our lives making sure it never happens again. Y/N will never doubt my love or affection for her. I just want to make her happy now that she knows I know how much I screwed us up".
"I'm proud of you, man", Max tapped his back.
"You're what?", Lando asked, a little flustered at his bestfriends words.
"I'm proud of you, Lando - you're dealing with this in such a good way! I'm not saying I doubted you would, but seeing you actually do it and make it happen in such a grown up, loving and accountability filled way makes me proud of who you became. As much as I joke about it, what P said in the car was true - you and Y/N are it. Whenever I think about what endgame is, you two are the first thing that comes to mind", he admitted.
"Thanks, mate", Lando replied earnestly.
After a couple of laps from you, you saw the boys joining you in the track, making you assure that whenever they lapped you, you made a Mario Kart like noise, always managing to get a smile and a headshake from Lando and Max.
Once you were done, Max and Pietra volunteered to take all of the supplies back to the storage room.
"Did you enjoy your day, Y/N?", Lando asked as he approached you.
Surprising him, you nodded before you hugged him, "I haven't been this happy in a long time", you cuddled him, letting your head rest on his chest and letting yourself feel enveloped by his arms after the initial shock wore off.
"I'm glad", Lando uttered out before he composed himself, "I just want you to know that I could fulfill all your dreams and that there I'll never do anything to hurt you again. I'm well aware of all shit I've done and put you through, and how accountable I am for it. I just want to make you happy", he chuckled, "I don't want anything else in this world other than to make you happy, to show you how much I love you and that I want make this work, I want to make us work", he let out in such a serious and intense tone that you could feel a knot forming your throat, "you were my first love and I want you to be my last, Y/N".
"Lan...", you gasped softly, "I know it hasn't been good for you, but I just need a little bit more time to put it behind me, once for all", you added.
"I know, and that's alright", he mumbled against the top of your head, "I just wanted you to know that it is coming straight from my heart - everything I do, I do it for you", plucking up the courage to press a kiss there.
You closed your eyes and basked in the feeling, "two Bryan Adams references in the same sentence from the guy who used to DJ? You impress me, Lando Norris", you giggled and teased him playfully, feeling the rubble from his own laugh on his chest.
"I'll make sure to impress you everyday that we're alive, Y/N Y/L/N", he promised.
And he intended to keep it.
.
Lando invited you to his apartment for a cosy night in, thinking the plans over and over while he waited for you to arrive.
The delivery service was faster than he expected so he wrapped the takeout boxes in all of the kitchen towells he had so they would help retain the heat while you weren't there yet.
The whole apartment was tidy, he had your favourite blanket on the sofa and the TV had your favourite shows ready to stream in the background as you hopefully shared a comforting meal.
Your acceptance to come to his place made Lando feel very pleased with the way you were trailing in your relationship. He had been able to correct his mistakes and make you happy again. Even though there had been moments where he seemed to forget, he now knew that you had always been and will always be a priority in his life. He had never been in love with anyone else, and he was sure he would always be in love with you until his last breath.
A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts, heading up to the door to open it, "Hello hello! Come in", he gestured as you stepped inside, pecking his lips on the way - a few days prior, you had kissed him out of nowhere when you went to the bookshop and you swore he looked like a cartoon, all wide eyes and blushy cheeks.
Lando assured you you wouldn't leave the house and it would be just the two of you, so you hadn't bothered to put together a proper outfit, opting to wear a pair of leggings and an old Quadrant hoodie.
"I wasn't sure if I should bring anything, so I stopped by the sweets shop to get some of these hard candies, apparently they're very trendy now", you giggled sweetly as you set the bag on his hands so you could take your trainers off.
"You didn't have to, but thanks! We'll do a taste test after dinner - which is here by the way", he guided you to the living room.
Unravelling the mountain of kitchen towells, he had you sit down before he opened the containers, handing you a plate after you chose a bit of each of the dishes he ordered, "thank you, Lan", you smiled, sitting criss-cross on the sofa and waiting for him to do the same before you started eating.
"These are really good, have you tried them? They're new on their menu and when the guy explained it to me, I thought you'd like it", he pointed to one of the bite sized pieces.
"They are! They're not too heavy on the seasoning and they're really nice when you dip them in this sauce - try it!", you offered him the small cup.
"Is this going to be like the time you made me dip my spring rolls in that other sauce you claimed was the best thing in the world?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Just try it, Lan!", you insisted, getting one from your plate, dipping it in the sauce and taking it up to Lando's mouth, your hand under the chopsticks in case some of it fell on his clothes.
Lando chewed it before nodding and humming in satisfaction, "is it good", he admitted with a smile after he wiped his lips.
Once you finished eating, you helped Lando bring everything back to the kitchen, saving the leftovers on his fridge, washing the plates and putting them away.
"You didn't have to help, I could've done it myself", Lando nudged before he laced your hand in his and pulled you back to the living room, "do you want to watch something?", he asked.
"There's this new Disney movie I haven't watched if you're up for it - or any of the shows we usually watch, I'm not picky", you answered quickly.
"Disney it is", he smiled sitting down and resting his arm on the back of the sofa, hoping you'd sit next to him and cuddle him.
You shuffled around before grabbing the fluffy blanket, pulling it over your legs and tentatively closing the distance between you, taking the plunge and taking a spot on his chest.
Once the movie was playing, Lando's arm dropped to wrap around you, lulling you closer to him and rubbing your arm.
"I can hear you thinking, and I'm sure you're not thinking about that little goat", you nodded to the screen.
"I'm watching the movie, I swear - and he's quite funny actually! He's also Mila's favourite character, at least he was last week", Lando chuckled, "but I was also thinking about us", he admitted.
"You were?", you turned to look up at him, wanting to know more.
"You do know I will apologize for what I did until the end of our lives, don't you?", Lando reflected out loud.
"Lando, stop it, it's forgiven and forgotten", you offered.
"Is it really?", he asked, a small smile breaking his way into his lips.
"It is, it's behind us now", you kissed his clothed chest.
"I will never forget it, though. It doesn't matter how many times you tell me to forget it or that you've forgiven me", he let out a shaky sigh, "I don't think I will, I hate myself for what did to you, the hurt that I caused you".
"Lando, let's not talk about it right now - not now, not ever. It's a part of our story, yes, and we learned from it, but I don't want to to remember every day. We are good now, and I don't want you to torture yourself with something that is out of your reach and that you can't change", you told him sternly, now sitting back against the sofa so you can face your boyfriend, "Promise me we won't mention this again, Lando".
"You're right", Lando agrees, "Okay, you're right, I promise, Y/N", he stated with a smile.
Your delicate lips peck his quickly before you go in for a second kiss, longer and more intense this time, and you both got lost in eachother.
You couldn't change what happened, but you could learn from it and work everyday to make sure it never happened again.
Lando was crazy about you, about who he was when was with you and how you made him feel, and you felt the same way about him.
"I love you, Lando", you smiled after you pulled away, resting your forehead in his.
"I love you forever, Y/N", he whispered, sealing his promise with a peck and bracing himself, "I'm never taking you for granted, and maybe this is a big gesture and I'm not sure how much this fits our new way - new patch? It's not a patch if we want it to last forever, right? - anyway, I would like to ask you to move in with me", Lando stated, "it doesn't have to be tomorrow or right away, we'll do it when you're ready! I just- I spend so much time of the year away as it is, and I don't want to cut the short time even shorter when it comes to you, so this way we'll be together for a bit longer - even if it's just at nightime and we can intertwine our legs or I can warm up the bed for you", he rambled on and you were sure he wouldn't stop anytime soon.
"Hey, hey! Lando, baby", you cupped his face with your hands, "look at me", you smiled as you straddled his lap, your thighs on each side of his and keeping you from fully sitting on him, "good now?".
"Well, since you're already there - sit, please", Lando added before he allowed himself to stress about your answer.
"I don't want to squash you", you mumbled.
Laying his hands in your thighs, he pulled you down, "I said sit down", he spoke sternly despite the playful glint on his eyes, "it's my home after all, I get to make the rules".
"Oh, I thought it was our home, but maybe I misread th-", your playfulness was cut short as your boyfriend flipped you around, your back hitting the soft sofa cushion with a yelp.
"You're moving in? For real?", he asked.
"Yes, baby, I'm moving in", you cupped his cheek, pulling him for a kiss, "I love you".
"My love, I'm going to spend everyday reminding you how beautiful, how strong", he started kissing your face with every word, "how kind, how amazing, how sexy, how hot, how smart, how kind, how incredible you are", he stopped just above your lips, "how all mine you are - I love you Y/N, forever", before he kissed your lips.
799 notes · View notes
bestanimal · 4 months ago
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~ Round 2.5 is currently underway!
Chondrichthyes, Mammalia, Reptilia, Cephalopoda, Lissamphibia, Actinopterygii, Malacostraca, Arachnida, Insecta, and Actinistia are our finalists from Round 2 and are set to move forward to Round 3 ~
On a quest to find Tumblr’s favorite animal!
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(Pictured is my personal favorite animal: the bearded vulture! Photo was taken by me… if you want to see more I post my photography on my instagram: SaritaWolf ;P)
Ever wondered how your favorite animal stacks up against other people’s favorites? Well you’ve come to the right place!
Here’s how this will work…
Polls will be ranked like so:
My fav is in this group!/This is one of my favorite animals!
I love these/this animal(s)
I like these/this animal(s)
I am neutral about these/this animal(s)
I dislike these/this animal(s)
I hate these/this animal(s)
If an animal is your favorite, it receives 5 points
If you love an animal, it receives 3 points
If you like an animal, it receives 1 point
If you are neutral about an animal, no points are added or subtracted to its ranking
If you dislike an animal, 1 point will be taken away
If you hate an animal, 3 points will be taken away
At the end of a polling period, that animal’s points will be its rank.
The top 20 or 50 or 100 or whatever (number to be decided on at a later date) will move on to the next round!
Polls will be open for 7 days
Since it’s not very feasible for me to make 1.5 million polls for every known species of animal, the first round of polls will be by Phylum, the next round will be by Class, then Order, then Family, then Genus, and then Species.
If you want your favs to make it to the top, make sure you know what group they’re in! This can be found via a quick Wikipedia search and a look-see right here (using the bearded vulture as an example):
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The Bearded Vulture is in the Phylum Chordata, the Class Aves/Reptilia, the Order Accipitriformes, and the Genus Gypaetus, so now I know to vote for that group as my favorite when it comes up!
The top ranked Phyla will move on to the next round, where they will then be split into Classes, and Round 2 will begin.
Round 3 will take the winning classes and split them by Order, then follow the same pattern.
Round 4 will take the winning orders and split them by Family, then follow the same pattern.
Round 5 will take the winning families and split them by Genus, then follow the same pattern.
Round 6 will take the winning genera and split them by Species, then follow the same pattern.
The Ultimate Round will pit the top 20/50/100 (number also to be decided at a later date) species against each other.
If no clear photos exist of a species, it will not be included in the polls. (So, if you’re a scientist who just discovered a new moth and it’s your favorite animal you better get those photos on iNaturalist quick)
You can have multiple favorites, I am not keeping track of that, but I do ask that you answer honestly!
I will add a bit of propaganda under a cut on each poll, but please feel free to reblog polls and add your own! If you want your fav(s) to win, these polls need to be seen by lots of people!
I do encourage people to not vote blindly. Look at the photos, read the propaganda, maybe even do your own research before you decide how you feel about an animal!
And lastly, please keep things civil! We all have different tastes and someone hating your fav is not a personal affront against you!
That being said, we do not “Kill it with fire” here. It’s ok to not like an animal, but we do not tolerate people calling for violence against a species or wishing a whole species extinct.
Important Tags:
#Animal Polls: All main polls
#Poll Results: Completed polls will be reblogged along with their calculated ranking
#Special Poll: Any extra polls
#Extra Propaganda: Any reblogged propaganda added by voters
#Statistics: A stats post will be posted after each round
#Asks: For any responses to asks (my askbox is open!)
#FAQ: For questions that may come up often
#Extras: For any announcement posts, reblogs, etc
If you are enjoying the tournament and would like to leave a tip, it would be much appreciated!
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 2 years ago
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago
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Someone New 5
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend for years, but you’re slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.
Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor
Note: Tuesday! Ugh.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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It’s nearly midnight in Norway by the time you’re free of the airport. The train station isn’t far; it’s part of the airport. You wait on a bench between the rails as your boarding is two hours away. You sit with your luggage and mope. This new land only adds to the gloom clinging to you. 
You shiver as a draft flows down the tunnel. Not only is grey and grim, but it’s cold. It’s almost June but the weather is more akin to the cusp of winter and spring back home.  
Your weeks of research couldn’t prepare you for the real things. All that anticipation could never compare to that moment of desolation; alone in this far land, away from everything you knew. Everything around you is new and foreign and unwelcoming. 
When the train pulls up, you wait in queue with the other passengers. Some are native, speaking in lilted English or indecipherable Norwegian. Duolingo hasn’t done much for you as you catch only scraps of pronouns and verbs. Others are new arrivals like yourself but they seem much more certain of themselves. You feel utterly lost. 
You show your ticket and board. You tuck your bag away with the larger pieces kept at the front of the carriage and hug your carry-on in your lap. You stare out the window as the train begins to roll on the tracks, screeching as it pulls out into the black night of this strange land. 
The subtle rumble of the locomotive lulls you into a half-sleep. Your head is wrought with the ache of your building hangover and twisted visions of the life left behind. You hear Steve’s final goodbye, you feel the hug that was snugger on your end than his, and you feel the razor of Peggy’s spiteful eye. Even in a stupour, you can’t forget it. You hope Sam is right and that it will fade with time, yet you fear it might all be gone for good. 
You wake as the automated voice announces your stop as the next one. You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes. You’re trying to be optimistic. Just focus on work. That’s what this is all about. Everyone keeps saying it and you haven’t heard any of them. This is a great opportunity. What you’ve been hoping for all these years. How did you forget that?  
You disembark and drag your bag behind your heavy feet. You’re exhausted but you still have a trek to go. Everything looks so different than back home. Small differences but enough to reinforce your displacement. 
You find the rental car kiosk at the other end of the station and show your reservation. Work is paying for that too. Apparently, you’ll need it to get to the site. Another harbinger of desolation. 
You hook up your phone to the built-in bluetooth and tap the address already saved in your maps. The app takes a moment to recenter and finally, you’re off. You wonder if you should even be driving. You’re definitely not drunk anymore but you’re barely awake. 
It’s only an hours ride across the city, just along the ridges that look off onto the coast. It’s beautiful. You can see that even through your melancholy.  
The morning rises as you get your key to the blue paneled townhouse. You should try to stay up to reset your clock but you’re jet lagged to the bone. The moment the door is locked, you let your bags fall to the floor and stumble through to the first piece of furniture you see. You collapse face first onto the couch, unable to feel the impact as you plummet into a deep sleep. 
Time, space, and all your pain disappears. There is only the endless void of fatigue. Your mind is too tired to summon nightmares or nonsensical visions. Your body is so drained that even your brain is empty. 
You wake on your arm, fingers tingling painfully as your shoulder muscles burn. You hiss and sit up. The bend of your fingers and a shaky attempt to move your elbow make you whine. Ugh. You rub feeling back into the limb as you lean against the back of the couch. 
You look around, finally able to take it all in. The house is neat and sleek. White plaster and pale wood finishes. The couch you sit on is a sectional and there’s a match ottoman across from you. The TV mounted on the wall reflects the shadow of the archway behind you and the tall lamp in the corner and the stone and marble ornaments. 
You rise, wobbling on your legs, and put your arms out to get your bearings. You meander through the townhouse. You can hardly admire the furnished interior as it underlines your loneliness. All this space for just you. 
There’s a kitchen at the rear of the house, a large wooden island standing center to a fridge with a glass door and polished counters carved in granite. The tiles are pristinely placed diamonds in hexagons and a large window looks out into the rain-soaked yard. It’s night again, or maybe that’s what the daylight looks like here. 
Upstairs, there’s a bedroom and a bathroom. A full tub and separate shower, two sinks set into a sparkling counter, and a wall of mirrors above them. It truly is a dream but why doesn’t it feel like it? 
You amble down stairs and fish out your phone. The battery is at eight percent. You have several texts. All from Sam. You only remember then why you don’t see any from Steve. No, you won’t check. 
You quickly type that you’ve landed safely and set the cell down. You’ll let it die before you plug back in. You need time. You need to get yourself straight. You need to accept that this is all real. You made this choice.  
You’re starting over. It’s a new life and there’s no room for your heart here. 
💟
You have the night to unpack, more than just your luggage. Still, there are things you can’t let out. Not yet. As much as the blade twists in your chest, taking it out will mean a deluge you can’t quell. For now, you just won’t think about it. 
You sleep a few more hours and wake just before six. You have your bag ready to go for the day. You tie on your boots and pull on a lined jacket before braving the Norwegian summer. You lock the door behind you and yawn into the brisk air. 
Before you head for the site, you stop at a cafe you see along the way. You get an egg biscuit and a coffee with extra espresso. You’re sure to add on a snack to eat between your work. 
You drive towards the greater mountains and turn onto the road that angles up the side. You follow the curved ledge as the GPS guides you through the car speakers. The drive is two hours up, maybe a bit quicker on the way down. Suddenly, a ping sounds from the system and you glance at the screen; ‘signal lost’. Shoot. It’s okay. You think you’re almost there. 
You pull over, not that there’s much space to do so. You have the physical maps you’ll use for the work itself. You find yourself amid the lines and symbols and memorise the path forward. You continue on cautiously, reassured as you’re met with a sign that delineates the site. The plot has already been closed off with a fence. 
‘Grant land. No trespassing.’ 
You park just outside the fencing and grab your bag and your breakfast. You sit on the hood and eat as you look over the muddy site. You read the grant report. It’s here they think there was a settlement. Not a very big one but an important one.  
The rock wall hugs the site in an almost perfect basin as the slick land is barren of almost any growth. You’ll start with gridding it all out, both with string and on paper. You clap your hands off and get up to begin. The process will keep your distracted. 
You put your earbud in and set to task. You pause to sip coffee and mark the paper between planting the stakes and the string the twine to divvy it all up in squares. You watch where you put each step, the mud sucking at your treads. A wet site is never an easy one. 
It takes the first day just to prep for digging and you don’t even think you’re done. You’re tired and achy and ready to go home. It’ll take you nearly three hours back by your guess. The night will be a short one as you figure you’ll need to head out earlier, especially if you hope to take advantage of the fleeting sunlight. 
As you get back to the townhouse, it’s night again. You walk down to a fish restaurant just a block away. The faces are friendly and the food is good, but it all seems so bland. You eat and go back to your accommodation. Not home, just a place to lay your head. 
You check your phone. Back amid the world of the living, you have a dozen messages; Sam, Bucky, your mom, Arturo. You respond to each of them in turn, assuring them that all is well. You don’t have the energy for much more. 
Yet it isn’t up to you. Your phone chimes at you as you near the bed, sitting on the edge as you answer. You know with Sam that ignoring him will only make him worse. 
“Hey,” you answer with an unrestrained yawn. 
“Yo, how ya feeling?” he asks. 
“Erm, tired,” you lean forward, crossing and arm over your knees. “How are things there?” 
“Eh, usual. So, uh, did that paradise punch knock you on your ass too or am I getting old?” He chuckles. 
“Heh, yeah, no I’m feeling it still,” you mutter. 
“Mm, it’s late there...” he says, “sorry, if I’m keeping you up.” 
“No, it’s fine. Just... a lot of driving.” 
“Oh? You worked today?” 
“Wanted to get a head start,” you shrug as you play with the fold of your pajamas across your knee. 
“How is it? Is it bleak? Cold? Are the men gruff?” 
“Uh, yeah, I guess. Grey. Bit chilly but it’s not bad around noon,” you say dully, “haven’t seen much of the locals. With how long it takes me to get up the mountain...” 
“Oh, a mountain,” he echoes enthusiastically, “that’s exciting.” 
“I guess. Eats away the day.” 
“I’m sure,” he agrees glumly, “hey, don’t forget to treat yourself. Take a weekend off and hit that spa.” 
“I will. I just got here.” 
“Well, we all miss you,” he says. “Bucky especially. We got in a huge blow out the other day over the string in his hoodie.” 
“Of course you did,” you can’t help but laugh. 
“Really, I didn’t do anything. I was trying to fix it and it just... slipped inside, I don’t know. I don’t think it was about the string,” he snickers. “Probably having to deal with Steve and his--” Sam stops himself, “sorry.” 
“What? No, it’s fine. Really. I came out here to get away but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.” 
“I know but you’re tryna forget him. Like you should,” Sam insists. “And he’ll realise soon enough what he missed out on all these years. And you need to do the same. Go out, explore, enjoy it. You’ll need to have some good stories to bring back to us here, we’re dying of boredom without you.” 
“Yeah, uh, I’ll try,” you grumble, “anyway, I gotta head out early for the dig so I should let you go.” 
“Right, of course,” he agrees, “don’t be a stranger.” 
“I won’t. Promise.” 
“Night,” he says. 
You return a ‘good night’ and hang up. You toss your phone onto the pillow and heave as you clutch your head. You hate this. Why did you come all this way just to suffer? You should have just stuck it out. Sat on the sidelines like you always did and just swallow it all down. This is worse. Being so alone.  
There’s no going back. Not now. So you just need to get through this and after... after you’ll just have to face Mr. and Mrs. Rogers with a fake smile and broken heart. 
💟
The next week goes by much like your first days there. You wake up, drive up the mountain, plot, dig, clean up, and drive back. You sleep almost as soon as you sit down. You don’t have time to mull over what you left behind, not as you catalogue every bone and bead you come across. 
You check in with Arturo when you can, just to confirm that everything is going according to plan. Often, you’re asleep when anyone else calls. You wake up to notifications from your mom and Sam and even Bucky. You should call them back but you just can’t. You can’t put on a fake voice for them. Not yet. 
You take a day off. Only after Arturo insists. You know you should. You may as well have a proper grocery shop. You can’t keep living off the cafe and fish shop.  
The shop feels more like a market. You pick through produce and meats, and get what’s easy. You’ll cook it all and package it up so you can just heat it up later. Some muffins to eat on your way up the mountain and maybe a few protein bars. 
As you trawl the grocery store aisles, you pull out your phone. You have a pile of unread notifications from Insta. You don’t often check it anyway but your curious and a little homesick. 
You see your mom’s post about her trip to the vineyard with her book club pals and Sam’s story with a very agitated looking Bucky. That makes you laugh. You scroll by some crafting videos and the pages you follow of castle curators living your aspirational goals. 
Then you stop. You pull the cart still and go rigid as you stare at the screen. The image of Steve and Peggy burns into your retinas like a blinding light. It’s there engagement announcement. He has her in his arms, kissing her, as she holds out her hand to the camera to show off the diamond. 
You can’t breathe. Your chest is on fire and your ears are ringing. It’s like salt in the wound and you don’t doubt it's intentional, at least on Peggy’s part.  
Your hands shake as you grip the phone tightly and tap on Steve’s username. You ignore the rest of his profile and the pictures you know will only add to the turmoil brewing in your stomach. You hit the button in the corner and tap again and again. ‘You are about to block ‘starsnstripes18, are you sure’. Yes and yes! 
You lock the screen and drop the phone into your purse, nestled into the basket of the cart. You grasp the bar and push the cart forward, steadying your steps with it. You look between the shelves and exhale. 
You need to go cold turkey. No more Steve, no more Peggy, no more New York. You stood still so long, it feels good to run away from it all. 
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gratefulcheeses · 1 month ago
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Introducing... KID PIRATES MONTH!!! A art and writing event dedicated to the coolest crew in all four blues, THE KID PIRATES!!! Taking place in January 2025!!!
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I tried to make all the prompts as open to interpretation as possible, so just go fucking wild and have fun! Don’t overwork yourself! (There’s also a weekly version of the prompts under the cut if you’d feel more comfortable following that!)
I do ask that you please tag all your pieces with "#kid pirates month 2025" (without the quotation marks) so I can RB them! Thank you very much for reading and remember to have fun and not overwork yourself <3
Prompts transcribed into text and the weekly version of the prompts under the cut:
(Feel free to take inspo from the daily prompts for these!)
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Daily prompts transcribed:
1. New beginnings
2. Kid Pirates as... kids... YOU GET IT
3. Victoria Lives AU
4. First island / Leaving Kutzk
5. Card games
6. Feast
7. Masks
8. Music
9. Get ready...
10. Captain's birthday!!
11. Relaxing / Winding down
12. Modern AU (Or trying on different outfits works too)
13. Horror AU
14. Minks or Kemonomimi AU
15. Role Swap AU
16. Band AU
17. Steampunk AU
18. Cowboy AU
19. Sparring / Play-fighting
20. Undercover or, well... "Undercover"
21. Haircuts / New hairstyles / Hairstyle swap
22. GENDERBEND THOSE PUNKS!!
23. Piercings / Tatoos / Body mods
24. Album Cover
25. On the news!! / Bounty posters
26. Sleep / Dreams
27. Nostalgia
28. New places
29. 40 years
30. 60 years
31. EUSTASS KID AS KING OF THE PIRATES!!
Weekly prompts transcribed:
Week 1: Past / A new start
Week 2: Party & Fun!
Week 3: Alternate Universe
Week 4: Dumbassery & Shenanigans
Week 5: Future / Hope
That is all, thank you for reading! I hope everyone has a lot of fun with this event, and truly, even if you can only do one prompt I will be very happy to see it! (Again, DON’T OVERWORK YOURSELF)
In any case, if you have any questions, comment under this post or drop an ask: I’ll answer as soon as I’m able + if several people ask the same thing, I’ll reblog this post with an FAQ section! Thanks again, & keep yourselves safe!!
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galaxygermdraws · 1 month ago
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Remade my Mario references. Again. Again. I did Luigi too but he's gonna be in a different post so I can talk about the Mario stuff.
Not shown here is the fact that during SPM, Mario got a pretty nasty scar on his chest thanks to Mr. L snapping at him and launching it at him.
The stitches on his buttons are green, to match Luigi's. Similarly, Mario has green and white striped socks (not pictured because this isn't a fullbody)
The drawstrings on his hoodie match Luigi's star earrings
He has a cut in his eyebrow, which also came from SPM. I like to think he got it during the same incident that gave Luigi his eye scar, so after one of the Brobot fights
After the events of Odyssey, Mario's hat reverted back to a small piece of fabric, since Cappy only temporarily fixed it by turning into the hat. As a thank you for everything, Cappy and the Bonnetons fixed the hat up for Mario, incorporating the single surviving piece of it, since that hat is very important to him (he was born in that hat!!!)
(reblogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu. Feel free to ask questions about him also I will answer)
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heartkaji · 4 months ago
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[ 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 ]
★ ── selfship event
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❤︎ WHAT’S CAPTAIN CUPID ?!
hihi hello ! welcome to my selfship event where I, MARS, assign scenarios & headcannons to your selfships !
❤︎ HOW DOES THIS WORK ?!
easy ! all you have to do is send me an ask describing you (or your oc’s) personality ! it’s similar to a matchup event except you’ll specify what character you’re being shipped with. my job as cupid will be to assign a dynamic & scenarios based on you & your fictional other’s personality !
you’ll select a maximum of three questions ( or four for moots ) you’d like me to answer about your selfship, and i’ll do my best to answer based on my idea of what your relationship would be like !
❤︎ WHO CAN I BE SHIPPED WITH ?!
your fictional other should be a character from wind breaker, haikyuu, mha or blue lock only.
note that all characters will be written as adults (18+) by default (everything is still sfw !)
only one f/o per person
❤︎ ANYTHING ELSE, CAPTAIN ?
here are some guidelines when requesting :
anyone is free to join ! you don’t have to be a follower or mutual to take part.
on that note, all scenarios & hcs will be sfw or at best lightly suggestive, so everyone of all ages is free to join
you can send your requests on or off anon. i recommend sending it off so you’ll be notified, but it’s all up to you ! edit : if requesting on anon, feel free to assign yourself a name or emoji !
don’t be shy ! i feel like a lot of self shippers are shy when talking about their self ships because they may feel cringy or embarrassed. trust me i’m not judgy at all. i love reading selfship posts so describe yourself or your oc in as much detail as possible !
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❤︎ PICK A QUESTION, ANY QUESTION !
note that before answering questions, i will provide a description of what dynamic i think your selfship would have !
if using an oc, please provide their name !
starred questions (*) have potential to receive slightly suggestive answers
remember you can only pick a maximum of three while moots pick four !
how did you first meet ?
who confessed & how ?
who fell first & who fell harder ?
first date ?
what do others (ex: parents/friends) think of your relationship ?
toxic things they do ?
toxic things you do ?
what do you often fight over ?
why/how did you break up ?
at what moment did they fall in love ?
at what moment did you fall in love ?
what do they not like about you ?
what do you not like about them ?
what do they love most about you ?
what do you love most about him ?
how was your first kiss like ?*
their favorite activity to do with you ?
their green flags in your relationship ?
how did they propose ?
what’s having a family with them like ?
❤︎ HOW TO REQUEST ?
to participate, you must first reblog this post then send me an ask following this template. starred (*) questions are optional. any requests that do not follow instructions will be deleted !
pronouns
*gender + any relevant information regarding gender identity (ex : perhaps you don’t wear certain clothing, or use she/her pronouns but prefer to be treated as male. this is to avoid me making you uncomfortable in descriptions
*sexuality (if unanswered, i will assume you are attracted only to the same gender as your f/o)
f/o + their fandom (refer to list of accepted fandoms)
what questions you want me to answer (3 or 4 max)
a description of you/your OC’s personality
*a description of you or your OC’s appearance (this is to make more specific & personal hcs, ex: them loving you/your OC’s freckles)
your perception of your f/o. everyone has different perspectives on different characters; so i’d like to see your f/o through your eyes in order to make more accurate hcs !
that’s all ! please remember i can only take a limited number of requests. i can’t guarantee requests will be answered on a first come first serve basis, but i recommend requesting as soon as possible ! when requests are closed, the prompt below will go from “start” to “end !”
TAGGING : @kaiser1ns @seneon @seumyo @caelivir @y2kuromi @17020 @megutime @bloodswrd
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[ 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 ]
end.
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© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload
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killerpancakeburger · 9 months ago
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Another Headache
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SUMMARY: You get another one of your chronic headaches, and the meds don't don't work. Soap's by your side though.
PAIRING: Soap x F!Reader (Soap calls Reader "pretty girl" once, that's the only mark of gender)
TAGS: Hurt/Comfort, fluff, suggestive at the end, Soft!Soap, Established relationship, Civilian!Reader, Reader works as Price's assistant.
WARNINGS: The suggestiveness at the end, mention of chronic pain.
WORDS COUNT: 1.8k
A/N: Lots of Soaps I like in there... pouting Soap, drawing Soap, needy Soap, Human calculator Soap (because of that one post that I KNOW I REBLOGGED BUT CANT FIND!! CURSE U TUMBLR!)
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“1245.87… minus 56.43… divided by 98.62….” you mumble out loud to yourself, painstakingly inputting each digit into your calculator.
“12.06,” pipes up Soap without missing a beat, not looking up from his sketchbook where he's drawing.
You look up from the device and throw him a mildly annoyed glare, assuming he concocted a random number to confuse you. It's the first explanation that comes to your mind, the most logical one, even though it would be out of character for Johnny to make your work harder, even as a joke. 
“Very funny.”
Then you press the result touch and your eyes widen as the machine provides the exact same answer.
“How in the hell…?”
You look at your boyfriend again, irritation gone out the window, replaced by amazement and a dash of admiration.
“Do you have a calculator for brain or something?”
“S'basic stuffs for sniping and demolition works.” 
The explanation is way too abrupt for anyone who knows how much Johnny enjoys his job, rambling, and rambling about his job. You raise an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Can you develop?”
An amused smirk stretches his lips as he still persists in not looking at you.
“Bonnie, ye need tae focus oan yer work, or ye'll git us in trouble.”
You groan in protest. Being lectured about trouble by Soap “Troublemaker” Mactavish out of all people, you couldn’t make it up. That doesn't make him less right unfortunately. 
Your supervisor, John Price, only allowed his Sergeant to hang out in your office during his free time on the express condition that it would not impact your tasks. You initially couldn’t imagine that blue-eyed menace sitting still for hours only for your sake; to do your own thing in your own side of the room in silence, without any physical contact, nor any other sign of acknowledgement? That was Ghost's idea of a good time, but Soap's idea of torture.
However, it turned out you underestimated his willpower, and his determination to take advantage of every moment that could be shared with you. The intimate knowledge that he was holding back this whole time, and that the minute the clock would strike the end of your workday, he would be all over you like usual, warmed your heart and sent pleasing tingles everywhere in your body.
Sympathetic to your plight, Johnny adds with indulgence and cheekiness in his tone: 
“Ah ken how much ye like mah voice, but we'll make up fur lost time after.”
You roll your eyes at the suggestive taunt, still recognizing the comment for what it is - a consolation to compensate for his refusal to extend earlier. You bite your tongue to keep yourself from retorting about how distracting he's actually being even when drawing in silence, his biceps bulging with his posture, and the mix of concentration and serenity on his face strangely captivating. 
The expression he wears when sketching is one you're particularly fond of. It reveals a different kind of intensity than the one he usually displays, when eager for battle or indignant in front of injustice. It is one not many are privy to, since he tends to favor the solitude of his bedroom to scribble, making this scene all the more special and giving it an intimate tone that's enough to make your heart race.
A loving smile on your face, you throw yourself into your work.
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You can feel it coming from miles away.
That accursed headache. Pushing behind your forehead, between your eyebrows and sneaking behind your temples.
Its reasons could very well be everything or nothing; the mix of cold weather and your own tiredness, the acute light from the winter sun blinding your eyes in the absence of sunglasses, the long hours spent in front of a screen.
It is light yet harsh all at once. Muffled pain always felt worse than a sharp one. Yet you know from experience it is only going to hurt more from here on.
Gritting your teeth in a grimace of discomfort, you press your hand against your forehead. The coolness of your fingers provides a respite, albeit a short-term one.
Is there even any painkillers left in your bag? You can’t remember the state of your stock-
A familiar box is suddenly moved in your line of sight. Your usual brand of aspirin.
You look up to see Soap staring at you expectingly. You take the medecine with a grateful smile.
“You really are full of surprises today!”
He pouts as he hands you your water bottle.
“Wi’ how often ye git those bloody things, a'd have tae be a bloody eejit for nae knowing how tae deal with ‘em.”
He sounds like your chronic migraines offended him, personally, and it's both adorable and hilarious.
“That's still very sweet,” you insist after swallowing the treatment.
He brings a lock of hair behind your ear before tenderly kissing your forehead.
“That's me, “Sweet Soap” Mactavish.”
That drags a giggle out of you.
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An hour later, as the meds miserably failed, you’re not laughing at all anymore.
At least your work is done for the day, granting you the luxury to suffer on the rec room's couch. Laying on your back, head on the armrest, you’re pressing the heels of your hands into your closed eyelids while groaning in agony. Any bright light or screen increases the pain, so keeping your eyes closed is the only protection conceivable.
Seated right by you, your legs laying over his lap, Soap squeezes your tigh in support, itching to bring you relief but unsure how.
“What can I do?”
You remove your hands from your face to peek at him. If the ache behind your temples wasn’t occupying all space in your thoughts, you would have fussed over his chagrined expression that wasn’t without reminding you of a worried puppy. He was torn between concern for you and frustration of not being able to do anything. Johnny absolutely hated not being capable of remedying a problem. It made you want to cover his face in kisses, not only to placate his frustration, but also because you were filled with cute aggression.
“Well, I have this theory that if someone hit me really hard in the head with a baseball bat, it would help…”
“How the bloody ‘ell would it help!?”
“The pain from the blow would replace the headache.”
“How does replacing pain with pain helps…?”
“I prefer the acute pain of a strike than the dull one of a headache. It's way more bearable.”
“M not hitting you with a baseball bat,” he exclaimed, clearly convinced that the pain had made you go insane.
“I'll just ask Simon instead.”
At this point, you’re insisting more to rile him up rather than out of seriousness.
“Nae yer not,” he retorts vehemently, voice bordering on a growl.
You're about to laugh when he suddenly gets up, still taking care to not send your legs flying off the sofa. Worried that you managed to actually piss him off, you half pick yourself up, raising on your forearms, but he exits the room before you can catch his expression, ordering you to not go anywhere. Not like you were planning to anyway.
You flop back on the couch, closing your eyes and massaging your temples. A moment later, deliciously cold fingers rest on your forehead. You hum in appreciation.
“Better?”
“I love you,” you declare boldly.
The husky laughter Soap emits in response is almost as soothing as his touch.
You suddenly open your eyes as a realization dawns on you.
“Johnny, why are your hands fucking freezing?”
“Put ‘em under cold water,” he retorts casually, like it was evident.
You sigh, closing your eyelids, endeared by his behavior but also a bit fed up.
“You're crazy.”
He chuckles again.
“Crazy in love maybe.”
You don't need to look at him to know the smug smirk he's displaying with that comment.
“Wipe that goofy smile off your face, Mactavish.”
“Make me.”
You playfully slap whatever part of his body is nearby, then sigh once more.
“It's only a temporary solution, though. Unless you intend to spend all night turning your hands into ice cubes.”
“Ah could try-”
“Johnny, no.”
“Johnny, yes.”
“Don't be silly.”
“Will have tae be, unless ye've got a better option.”
“Laying in the dark with a wet cloth could help… or at least it's supposed to.”
This is how you ended up in Soap's bedroom with the lights off, both of you laying on his bed, you nuzzled on his torso with his arm around your waist, a washcloth soaked with freezing water on your forehead.
“Is it working?” he asks, barely a few minutes after settling down.
You cannot contain a smile at the impatience in his voice.
“More or less. But what sucks the most with this method is.. “
“Aye?”
“I'm so freaking bored. Cannot read, cannot use my phone, cannot fall asleep either. And with no distraction, I cannot focus on anything but the pain.”
“Ah could distract ye... If ye wanted.” he immediately suggests.
“What are you thinking of, pretty boy? Surely nothing… inappropriate.’
Despite your playful words, your fingers start idly running down his chest, and the shiver that travels his skin in response doesn't leave you indifferent. You hear him suck in a breath, and he grasps your wandering hand only to press it flat against his pectoral, even raising his breast to deepen the contact. Meanwhile the hand holding you tightens its grip on your flesh before traveling lower to grab your ass. 
“Now that yer mentioning it, ah read online that it could help wi’ headaches…”
“That what could help, Johnny?”
“An orgasm, bonnie,” he rasps.
You let out an amused sigh at the bold statement, trying to hide how much effect the rasp of his voice has on you.
“Hear me oot-” he pleads, apparently worried that you’re taking him for a perverted loser obsessed with his own pleasure over your comfort. “A'm not bullshitting ye-”
“I know, baby,” you appease him. “I know about the orgasm being a thing.”
“Ye know?... wait, ye knew this whole time? Why didn’t ye say anythin’?”
“Let's just say I'm skeptical of that method.”
“Did ye already try it?”
“Nope. But I'll believe it when I see it.”
“Then let me make ye a believer, pretty girl. Please? Pretty please? Will make ye feel so, so good, promise. Lemme take away yer pain, hen.”
He punctuates his begging by burning kisses, on your temple, your cheek, your jaw, your neck. His fingers sneak under your shirt, tickling your waist. The neediness in his voice and his touch makes you whine his name helplessly.
“Johnny…”
He echoes your whimper with a moan of your name.
“Alright, alright,” you capitulate. “For the sake of experimentation.”
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