#feel free to hate me im done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slavabogu · 6 months ago

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im just ditching everyone this weekend i dont care. i canceled going to my friends bday party. not going to my inlaws either. im sick n tired of it and i don't understand why everyone has to see me once per week. get over yourselves. do something else for once. between working and cleaning and cooking, hanging out with people every day is such a waste of time like let me LIVE. UGH

#i dont caaareeeeee anymore if people 'think i dont like hanging out with them'. like yeah its true #do something more interesting than sitting around talking about jobs and experiences im so bored of you all #can't have a fuvking hobby because i have to grovel to maintain others respect #feel free to hate me im done #im tired im bored im sick of my life looking like that and im about to be on my period so noone can make me feel bad about it this week #ik the first part sounds bad but she had 20 ppl over and it was a pool party and #i also went to camp while super sick so she didn't get mad at me and got sicker #so she can get over herself too

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ra-vio · 28 days ago

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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉

I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual

#loz #wind waker #legend of zelda #toon link #aryll #I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this #and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe #arylls like big brother use a damn fork #<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018 #also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak #r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery #and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus #i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk #im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again #he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient #im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i #thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me #i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better #why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6 #i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE

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rosylix · 26 days ago

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i love that yall scream with me abt felix and stuff lolllll. i feel weird sometimes like i shouldnt post if im not writing cus yall are pretty much here for my writing.. so if im not writing like no one cares abt me lol but idk its still fun and it makes me so happy that yall still think of me even when ive not been active like thats so sweet?? jdnsjfjjs IDKK i cant articulate my thoughts correctly rn but i just wanted to say ily guys! 🤍🤍

#im so tired rn idk what im saying ldksjnfksk #lowkey kinda WANT everyone to forget abt me like PLSSS... the desire to fade into obscurity...... i hate being perceived 😭#i mean i feel like a ton of ppl already have lol #it feels so nice not being hounded for updates constantly..... phew...#ive barelu been writing this past month but when i do start again i'll probably not post anything until it's fully done cus like #i cant deal w pressure LOLL #if that wasn't obvious. but anyway #im starting a new internship which will be for the next 7ish months before i go back to school #soooo i'll probably have a ton more free time! no homework likeeeee lets go?#but yeah so no promises but im hoping ill get back into writing in a bit..! i do miss it #thats it for jems life update in the tags #dawggg ok wait yk what SUCKS. i have to start DRIVING......#im cooked fr i hate driving i can barely drive but 😭 i gotta go to WORK now ig...... cant just walk to classes anymore #and in crazy snow conditions.... fml......#my last internship i didnt have a license and just ubered everyday LOL #but that is so expensive #OKKAYY thats my main stress rn but once im moved and settled yall will hopefully hear more from me #like actual substance and not just screaming over felix. hopefully LOLLL #unless i get into a car accident. jk JKKK i will not even joke abt that that will not happen haha!!!+!! im not stressed at all #.txt

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toytulini · 7 months ago

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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

#toy txt post #my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW #its very silly of me #imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad #even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i #listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary #i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a #different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound #so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy #ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate #feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed #*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it #which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting #sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same #i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic #OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about #different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject #needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP #ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE #WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE #SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR #ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT #anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess #(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill #deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts #and the subject

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yamikawaii · 4 months ago

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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why #arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is #this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and #i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships #except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now #but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i #have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just #forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats #all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i #never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i #belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done #for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.

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arundolyn · 4 months ago

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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

#crow.txt #the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god #can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done #be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else #i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later #i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now #what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today #including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus #like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted #and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn #its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care #but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either #bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual #and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just #walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was #guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm

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manicali · 4 months ago

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On one hand: AHHHHHHJH ITS FUCKING OCTOBER FUCKERS ITS SPOOKY SEASON BITCHESSSSS

Ont the other i have a test I will fail in four days please kindly stab me with a javelin until i wiggle on the ground and die like a trout

#I can’t even study because I the teacher has decided I don’t get to learn it at school and must figure it out at home #:(#after this week hopefully I’ll be done with her class forever #fucking hate science #my dumbass garbage brain doesn’t want to learn this useless garbage subject #it is soooo useless #anyway SPOOKY MOTHERFUCKING SEASON #spooky songs are gonna be on CONSTANTLY #im gonna fail an exam yippeee anyways feel free to javelin me I need to be dead by Friday #shit fantober starts today

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burningcomputerpersona · 3 months ago

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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut

#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear #but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it #so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me #and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked #then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly #and now my perm is completely gone lol #i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit #and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks #but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow #eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start #anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short #then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real #and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again #and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim #then i somehow end up with a bowlcut #it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend #but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind #like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed #etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top #so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there #just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm #and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out #and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy #'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day #mine

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usagifuyusummer · 20 days ago

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Vent sketches of studying in uni.

I'll be back once I finish a lot of stuff this semester. Just, very stressed out lately. I'm going back to studying for my exams after this... Probably gonna fail... I'll just do what I can. Hope everyone out there has a good time than myself.

#vent art #sketches #pen sketches #art #depression #emptiness #void #low self esteem #loneliness #anger #i hate the education system i wish i could be free doing what i want and on my own terms #and not on bullshit timeframes like coding a full functioning app in one week? i will die insane #burnout #vent #usagifuyusummerart2025 #woohoo the first art tag of the year and its not a great start lmao ill post my pending projects after im done with this hellhole system #that is getting a uni education for a secure and respectable job that my parents can feel proud of #and not be ashamed of like being an artist or a video game dev or something even im lost on what i want nowadays #just doing what i need to do rather than what i want to do really sucks the life outta you and motivation too! i feel like shit honestly #and uh sorry if the youngsters are seeing this post i know its not for everyone this is just complex adult depressing stuff #enjoy your life before you hit rock bottom like me (not there yet but im zooming fast towards that it seems)#art 2025 #traditional sketches #tags might change if formatting is fucked up pls don't baby #writing

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dr3ary11 · 1 month ago

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Context before the writing, this takes place directly after the end of pippin, and is EXTREMELY based on my schools version of pippin they did a couple years ago. I have so SO many theories and ramblings about pippin but for now I'll leave it at this. L.P stands for Leading Player btw. Enjoy !!!

L.P couldn't believe this. Pippin was making the wrong choice, why couldn't he see that? L.P had offered him all the joy he could ever have. He had showed him how he could be as glorious as he'd always wanted. L.P was trying to make worth of everything Pippin worked for, and he just threw it all away. All for some girl. L.P would have been fine watching Pippin lose himself as long as he could keep him.

L.P didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face until he looked in a mirror backstage. His tan skin peeked out from behind the white paint he had so carefully applied earlier that night. After the events of tonight, he doesn't think he'll ever wear red eyeshadow again. Hell, if he can help it, He'll never look at the color red ever again. or orange. or yellow. Maybe he just wont look at anything again.

He shrugged off his blazer, the vivid red of his shirt a crude reminder of how his heart had been ripped out of his chest mere minutes ago. He now felt stupid in this silly costume, the same one he'd hoped Pippin would at least comment on.

It's no wonder all this happened. L.P's first mistake was loving as fiercely as the flames to which Pippins fate was bound. L.P had never expected Pippin to love him too. It was quite unlikely, and it would've been pointless in the end if Pippin had gone along with his carefully set future. Pippin was never supposed to live beyond The Performance. But L.P couldn't exactly tell his heart to stop beating for the other man. He couldn't wish away the hole Pippin's indifference carved in his very soul.

#pippin musical #leading player x pippin #i hate this #any tips appreciated #please my writing is so ass i need the help T.T #sorry this is not about a more popular media i am rlly neurodivergent about Pippin #if there's typos feel free to murder me #technically a wip #im kind of not done #but it's whatever #Pippin #pippin!! yay!

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whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go · 2 months ago

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I'd love to interact with the ethel cain fandom on here a little more but im lowkey kind of worried about my reception from certain groups of people bc im like. a guy.

#not the fandom in general. i do think most people in here are weird little freaks also #but there's a specific subset of people that tag everything like: Hashtag girlblogging Hashtag this is what makes us girls Hashtag femcel #kind of gives man-hating vibes. which is a bit scary. as a boy.#not even a cis boy like. they'd have the knowledge to say things about my body and my life and stuff that would be very bad for me to hear #i know most of the fandom is probably not like this but its lowkey scary bc i know some people are #and that they're common enough that i notice them #[insert cool original post tag]#also people who aren't able to interact with media about religion and also have a critical view of it #just bc cool music girl talks about religion does not mean it cant be damaging and bad and extremely traumatic for some people #also idk if you noticed but ethel the character did not have a fun time with it like. i feel like her connection with faith over time is #- like very important to the preacher's daughter story #im yapping. whatever!!!! im going to stay in this corner for now i think #boy shut up #<- im putting this at the end of all my rants. feel free to block it #obviously its not transphobia that I'm worried about in this particular fandom. i dont think I'll have to deal with that bc how are you here #if ur transphobic. girl!!! this is transgender territory!!!!!#its more the general Men Are Evil vibes coming from particular groups thats eek #okay im done now goodbye

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citizenstarlight · 11 months ago

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tell me you're a self-hating jew, without telling me you're a self-hating jew.

ya i literally have a degree in jewish history bc i hate being so jew-cy.

#★ ╼ i'mma ghost ( ooc )#★ ╼ i'm done pretending ( answered )#tw anon hate #tw discourse #tw politics #tw zionism #im sorry i rarely post anon hate but this made me laugh #if you feel this way about me feel free to unfollow

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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago

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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

#snap chats #SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3 #ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i #moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since #BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point #if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of #'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like #like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling #the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly #which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word #like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation #so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor #i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj #yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested #like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out #i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH #but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god #i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was #tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch #and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ #coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror #i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant #if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review #OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do #so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl #god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj #anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading

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goosemagician · 7 months ago

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I FORGOT TO UPDATE ANTI-HERO LAST NIGHT IM SO SORRY GUYS

#Anti-Hero AU #tpoh #the property of hate #tpoh au #tpoh hero #IM SO SO SO SORRY #PLEASE FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME #I DONE GOOFED #tw for #suicidal thoughts tw #???#kind of???#better safe than sorry

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jacklesraised · 6 months ago

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tu/mblr i will take whatever ads so yall can stay alive since i wont get prem/ium possibly ever, im rly not as no as a lot of ppl but like im poor man lol i realize the issues keeping me from gettng any premi/um probably cant be fixed anyways until they can pay devs to fix them, like thats something i dont see a lot of people realizing or understanding like a website is expensive to keep open esp one needing as much data as tumbs does to function, some ppls distaste is a little mean and kind of lacking that understanding i think but i digress, but like heres the thing, i will accept any ads tumbs. unless they have sound. autoplay sound ads are actually villainous esp to your largely neurodivergent base and the level of reduced screentime ive had this week JUST from the autosound ads being SUCH a turn off??? that does not help me or u dudes

#even n/eopets isnt giving me auto sound #autoplay feel free turn that volune off #raiiot #if i cant listen to music or watch vids on mobile w/o them lausing bc of ab ad #im gonna go on a dfferent website thats the thing #i e never caref abt tums ads before bc they were wuiet and fine and chill #these new ads i hate #if i had that kind of money i would actually buy premium ust to shut them up #thats how much i hate that ad in particulars sounds #like tumbs pls i havent even gotten the new badges yet bc im poor man dont make me suffer too #gimme a setting to turj auto sound off #pls tumbs pls #im not dissing prem or anything else btw to ppl who are eyeballibg me #honestly i get it ive done accounting for companies before shits pricy #they have like 100 employees they gotta pay im sorry not everything can stay 100% free without ads in a capitalist society but again #again. as long as the ads dont make sound just live w then #its when the sound is loud and ruins my videos or snthn that its mmmmm #love u h8 y tumbs but no on auto sound #tbd

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no-thanks-bro · 8 months ago

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Ah, the consequences of my actions. Fuck off

#procrastination strikes again. i missed the deadline for a very important scholarship because I wasted so much fucking time #lamenting over it instead of just getting it done #how the fuck do i explain that to my parents? they'll hate me more than they already do #but its basically free money so if I don't get it theyre gonna know #and i feel guilty pretending i did hand it in on time #im just. i keep doing this! why do i keep doing this in an endless fucking loop #serves me right I guess idk #acting like an idiot only gets you so far in life. fucking hell #what do I even do? i just want to cry #and it would've been entirely preventable #I had my answers ready and made sure to get my transcript and had it all there and then i forgot. i forgot that ontario is in a different #timezone and that waiting until the last hour would already be two hours too late #:(#silver fucks up (again)

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