#feel free to hate me im done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slavabogu · 3 months ago

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im just ditching everyone this weekend i dont care. i canceled going to my friends bday party. not going to my inlaws either. im sick n tired of it and i don't understand why everyone has to see me once per week. get over yourselves. do something else for once. between working and cleaning and cooking, hanging out with people every day is such a waste of time like let me LIVE. UGH

#i dont caaareeeeee anymore if people 'think i dont like hanging out with them'. like yeah its true #do something more interesting than sitting around talking about jobs and experiences im so bored of you all #can't have a fuvking hobby because i have to grovel to maintain others respect #feel free to hate me im done #im tired im bored im sick of my life looking like that and im about to be on my period so noone can make me feel bad about it this week #ik the first part sounds bad but she had 20 ppl over and it was a pool party and #i also went to camp while super sick so she didn't get mad at me and got sicker #so she can get over herself too

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butterflieswhisper · 3 months ago

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looping echidna beastlife gif from trying to figure out toonboom

#based loosely off the bird who keeps taunting my cats through the window. brown headed cowbird who will sit there #and flap it's wings and yell until the cats show up and then it starts pecking at the window and jumping back and forth in front of them #weird bird.#it's done this for like two years now i think #anyways. sound it makes when it fluffs up is vaguely similar to echidnas birdsong soundboard noise thing. so. yeag #whisp whispers #my art #ALSO. ANIMATION PRECOLLEGE IS SO AWESOME. IM SO. AHRHRHNFMDM GET ME OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL PRLESDRRRE GIVE ME AN ART TEACJER WHO CARES ABOUT ART #it's so awesome here. toonboom access!!!! this is so awesome. guys toonboom is so awesome. not to turn a hobby into a job but like i was #genuinely kind of sad when i didn't get to go to school over the weekend it's so awesome here. who was going to tell me college doesn't suck #miserably all the time. like it's a precollege but still this is so ??? so much better than anything i've done in the past 8 years #<-except for fine crafts one i miss u fine crafts ...... not even a fine arts credit. but it was a nice class #anyways point being. hm. maybe i could animate for a job. i used to think about it but hs art magnet is so bad guys it's so bad .and i #was like hm this sucks actually. also like worst period of my life but that's unrelated . but this is so. nice? and im DOING things and i #feel like i'm learning??? god i hope dual enrollment goes well maybe i will be able to make it through college...#im so. this is so awesome. precollege animation 2-week intensive thing i love you i love you i love you #BTW GUYS DID YOU KNOW ALL AUTODESK PRODUCTS ARE FREE AS LONG AS UR IN ANY SCHOOLING. MAYA. FOR FREE. FOR AS LONG AS ENROLLED IN ANY SCHOOL #AND THEN SOME !!! i don't even like 3d modeling that much but. maya for free??? that's awesome. that's awesome!! anyways #rambling. i think i missed all normal tags. uhhhhhhhhh #beastlife #<-oh no i only missed that one. awesome. guys i love it here this is so. arbrnsnnm i love you figure drawing. i'm having fun!#with charcoal!!!!! i thought i hated charcoal but this is like !!!!! so aweosme ?????? i'm #this is so awesome. this is so awesome. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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toytulini · 4 months ago

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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

#toy txt post #my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW #its very silly of me #imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad #even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i #listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary #i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a #different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound #so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy #ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate #feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed #*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it #which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting #sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same #i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic #OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about #different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject #needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP #ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE #WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE #SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR #ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT #anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess #(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill #deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts #and the subject

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arundolyn · 1 month ago

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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

#crow.txt #the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god #can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done #be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else #i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later #i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now #what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today #including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus #like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted #and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn #its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care #but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either #bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual #and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just #walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was #guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm

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manicali · 1 month ago

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On one hand: AHHHHHHJH ITS FUCKING OCTOBER FUCKERS ITS SPOOKY SEASON BITCHESSSSS

Ont the other i have a test I will fail in four days please kindly stab me with a javelin until i wiggle on the ground and die like a trout

#I can’t even study because I the teacher has decided I don’t get to learn it at school and must figure it out at home #:(#after this week hopefully I’ll be done with her class forever #fucking hate science #my dumbass garbage brain doesn’t want to learn this useless garbage subject #it is soooo useless #anyway SPOOKY MOTHERFUCKING SEASON #spooky songs are gonna be on CONSTANTLY #im gonna fail an exam yippeee anyways feel free to javelin me I need to be dead by Friday #shit fantober starts today

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carcarrot · 5 months ago

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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me #oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving #but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done #and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be #and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything #and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else #and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch #and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me #that i wont find an easier job than this one #well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else #by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think #which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free #and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok #i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god #but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face #and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus #anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore #but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh

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yamikawaii · 1 month ago

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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why #arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is #this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and #i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships #except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now #but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i #have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just #forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats #all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i #never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i #belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done #for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.

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citizenstarlight · 8 months ago

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tell me you're a self-hating jew, without telling me you're a self-hating jew.

ya i literally have a degree in jewish history bc i hate being so jew-cy.

#★ ╼ i'mma ghost ( ooc )#★ ╼ i'm done pretending ( answered )#tw anon hate #tw discourse #tw politics #tw zionism #im sorry i rarely post anon hate but this made me laugh #if you feel this way about me feel free to unfollow

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months ago

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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

#snap chats #SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3 #ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i #moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since #BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point #if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of #'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like #like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling #the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly #which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word #like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation #so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor #i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj #yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested #like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out #i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH #but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god #i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was #tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch #and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ #coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror #i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant #if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review #OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do #so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl #god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj #anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading

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goosemagician · 4 months ago

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I FORGOT TO UPDATE ANTI-HERO LAST NIGHT IM SO SORRY GUYS

#Anti-Hero AU #tpoh #the property of hate #tpoh au #tpoh hero #IM SO SO SO SORRY #PLEASE FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME #I DONE GOOFED #tw for #suicidal thoughts tw #???#kind of???#better safe than sorry

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bittwitchy · 3 months ago

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tu/mblr i will take whatever ads so yall can stay alive since i wont get prem/ium possibly ever, im rly not as no as a lot of ppl but like im poor man lol i realize the issues keeping me from gettng any premi/um probably cant be fixed anyways until they can pay devs to fix them, like thats something i dont see a lot of people realizing or understanding like a website is expensive to keep open esp one needing as much data as tumbs does to function, some ppls distaste is a little mean and kind of lacking that understanding i think but i digress, but like heres the thing, i will accept any ads tumbs. unless they have sound. autoplay sound ads are actually villainous esp to your largely neurodivergent base and the level of reduced screentime ive had this week JUST from the autosound ads being SUCH a turn off??? that does not help me or u dudes

#even n/eopets isnt giving me auto sound #autoplay feel free turn that volune off #raiiot #if i cant listen to music or watch vids on mobile w/o them lausing bc of ab ad #im gonna go on a dfferent website thats the thing #i e never caref abt tums ads before bc they were wuiet and fine and chill #these new ads i hate #if i had that kind of money i would actually buy premium ust to shut them up #thats how much i hate that ad in particulars sounds #like tumbs pls i havent even gotten the new badges yet bc im poor man dont make me suffer too #gimme a setting to turj auto sound off #pls tumbs pls #im not dissing prem or anything else btw to ppl who are eyeballibg me #honestly i get it ive done accounting for companies before shits pricy #they have like 100 employees they gotta pay im sorry not everything can stay 100% free without ads in a capitalist society but again #again. as long as the ads dont make sound just live w then #its when the sound is loud and ruins my videos or snthn that its mmmmm #love u h8 y tumbs but no on auto sound #tbd

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no-thanks-bro · 6 months ago

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Ah, the consequences of my actions. Fuck off

#procrastination strikes again. i missed the deadline for a very important scholarship because I wasted so much fucking time #lamenting over it instead of just getting it done #how the fuck do i explain that to my parents? they'll hate me more than they already do #but its basically free money so if I don't get it theyre gonna know #and i feel guilty pretending i did hand it in on time #im just. i keep doing this! why do i keep doing this in an endless fucking loop #serves me right I guess idk #acting like an idiot only gets you so far in life. fucking hell #what do I even do? i just want to cry #and it would've been entirely preventable #I had my answers ready and made sure to get my transcript and had it all there and then i forgot. i forgot that ontario is in a different #timezone and that waiting until the last hour would already be two hours too late #:(#silver fucks up (again)

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skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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hella1975 · 2 years ago

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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT #but also i just. cannot hack it #'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also #like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently #and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good #and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home #so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN #and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum #that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job #like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good #and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications #and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no #like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set #on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through #is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through #ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL #and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there #but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree #(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use #and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person #to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer #bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly #and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident #and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments #i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it #yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up #hella goes to uni

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waywardsalt · 9 months ago

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ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish.#like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

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ataris-lantern · 2 years ago

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“omggg powder and jinx are two different personalities/consciousness in one body” no. bitch. shut the fuck up. she does not have DID that is not what DID is. you are so wrong.

#the reason we make the distinction between powder and jinx is TIME stupid #its about jinx’s inability to let go of the past & romanticizing it. not literally a different fucking alter or w/e #when ppl r traumatized they can yearn for the person they used to be before the trauma. thats what jinx is doing #im so done i hate these fam theories ffs #personal txt #arcane #if anything shes more bpd & ptsd induced hallucinations but im not an expert so feel free to correct me #but its not fucking DID

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