#fake wedding au

[hackedmotionsensors]

Guys I don't think Zoro's gonna stick to the mission!

Part 2 of the Fake Wedding au. Part 1 is here and tonally very different lmao. But I did plan this scene when I was working on part 1 so for ME its not a huge tonal shift but as a reader it probably is LMAO SORRY

[wordy-little-witch]

Pls im begging im on my knees what happens in crossguilds honeymoon shenanigans? - dis is pertaining to the CG wedding anser sjdjdjdjdns i love it btw the asker is so big brained and u made it even better sjdmsjxkz

OKAY so I'll divide it up between General Content and Adult Content.

General first!!!

• at first, they didn't even plan a honeymoon. It simply wasn't in the cards to then, they didn't even consider it. Then Big Mom asked, making conversation at the following party, what kind of honeymoon they had planned. They told her just an evening together in their tent, then back to work.

The men, women and enbies of the Guild swooped right in there with bright grins. "We pooled our wages together," they announce, "and booked you a trip!" It's for a weekend, just three days, and they'd be gone perhaps five at most depending on the weather and travel.

All three are trying not to cringe into the ether because they'd be leaving the island for a decent chunk of time. Who would run everything?

Their commanding officers then give them an itemized delegated list, with all the primary functions taken care of. The Guild really prepared for everything, huh?

• the honeymoon is to a resort not too terribly far for Karai Bari. The first thought is for them to just.... divide and do their own things.

Only they keep running into each other that first day. Buggy and Mihawk wind up in the library with other. Mihawk and Crocodile run into each other in the sauna. Buggy and Crocodile meet up in the casino. It's constant, and eventually it even becomes rather fun.

• then evening hits.

Adult Content below~

• Buggy's got the self awareness of a walrus on cocaine honestly, so he doesn't really think before stripping down to change into his evening wear. Crocodile and Mihawk at first ignore it until they catch sight of a pale back full of freckles and scars. Both dark haired me are suddenly fighting the urge to kiss him there, to make constellations with their touch and tongue. They look away.

• Only One Bed - Mihawk wordlessly prepares the couch for himself and Buggy makes a hammock and Crocodile is getting the bed - the first night at least.

• sleepy early mornings are so intimate and nobody discusses that enough. Buggy is the first up, hair slightly messy from the braid he slept in, curls framing his bare face. He makes coffee and starts on breakfast. Mihawk joins him not long after. Crocodile wakes to the smell of food, coffee, and murmured voices and laughter. When he inevitably wanders into the kitchen, halfasleep, he accepts a playe and mug, presses a kiss to Buggy's temple, a squeeze to Mihawk's wrist. Both clown and swordsman take a moment to process that.

• Buggy isn't exactly a contributer to Gender, so he'll wear whatever so long as he likes it. Including, it turns out, a form fitting dress in a rich green with gold accents and jewelry which shows his long leg via a high slit. He plays the part of ditzy eye candy well for Crocodile, and all seems fine - until some others begin to look at Buggy as well.

• Crocodile is possessive. And they ARE married.... so he pulls Buggy close by his hook at the other's waist and yanks the other down to one of his legs, within neck kissing range. Buggy is flustered. Crocodile is glowering. The wandering eyes ease off.

• at some point, Marines show up. The resort is neutral ground, so none of the Guild leaders make moves to react. Through a series of events, it turns out the Marines are there to apprehend the pirates and have paid off the resort owners.

There's a fight which goes.... fairly normally with Mihawk close range, sinking vessels and soldiers alike. Crocodile is lurking midrange to use his poisons and sand most effectively. Buggy has opted for more long range with his explosives and plots. The whole thing is pretty damn smooth, all considered. Until someone makes it past and grabs Buggy.

A comment is made on his outfit, a cocktail dress and blazer with matching stockings. On his decorum. On him, specifically. It's nothing he hasn't heard before, and he's already halfway through a snarky comeback along the lines of "What, angry I'm hotter than your whore at home-?" when there is a wave of pressure. Buggy blinks. The marine officer stumbles.

There is suddenly a hand on his waist, a hook around his neck, two presences flanking him. "What," the both nearly snarl, "did you say about our wife?"

• Buggy absolutely gets butterflies.

• the rest of the fight is pretty quick, Hawkeyes and Crocodile out of patience to play with their foes. Buggy isn't a slouch either, by the way, he's lobbing explosives strategically all around. Nearing the end, he herds his husband's to their ship, pushes off, and gives a theatrical count down.

• the island and nearby ships are bathed in fire. Buggy is cackling, a mess, his hair wild around a filthy, bloodied face. The dress reveals his shoulders. The torn edges reveal more of those freckles.

Something in both taller men snaps, and they converge upon Buggy with claims and lips and teeth. On the deck of their ornate ship, to the cracking ambience of fire, they have their wicked way with him, learning his body and finding unexpected but delightful facts as they go.

Crocodile could transition fully due to Iva, but Buggy is not so lucky. His top surgery was experimental, and bottom surgery was never a huge deal to him. Mihawk, luckily, enjoys all bodies and pleasures of the flesh, and he is a quick study under Crocodile's tutelage and experience with the organs he once had.

Buggy falls to pieces more than once, teary eyed and begging and so sweet for them, so cute and attractive with his grasping hands and hiccuping breaths. He is beautiful as he sinks down onto one, cradled by another and wails with the stimulation and hands and hook that break him I to pieces just to reassemble him again.

It ends with them together, indulgent and depraved, christened beneath firelight and debris and the screams of their enemies.

And none of the three had ever felt quite so seem as they did in that moment.

• back on Karai Bari, they sashay back in, mostly, as Buggy has a mild limp.

The lipstick stains and bite marks and bruises and scratches paint a clear enough picture for what happened.

"How was your trip?"

"We blew it up"

"Wha-"

"Fire. Explosives. Our beautiful chairman has quite the knack for such weapons"

"D'aww! Hawky, you'll make me blush!"

"We can make you do more than that, you little shit...~"

"Hehe~"

The poor mercenary is left rebooting.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 11 - Fake Date

@wolfstarmicrofic May 11, word count 875

“Eugh, my mum keeps asking who I’m bringing to my cousin's wedding!” Remus groaned as he checked the new message on his phone. “She’s getting worse. Ever since Oscar and I broke up it’s all she cares about.” He shook his head and put on a high-pitched voice, imitating Hope. “Reemuss,” He elongated his name like Hope did with her lilting accent. “Remus, why don’t you have a nice boy to bring to Gwen’s wedding? You should go find yourself someone, Remus.” He grimaced. “Like it’s so easy. She met dad in the middle of a forest when that guy jumped out of the trees at her and dad came to her rescue. Knowing my luck, the would be murderer would fall for me.” He leaned his head back and cursed the heavens. 

Sirius had sat there patiently listening to Remus grouse. He snatched Remus’s phone from his lap and typed a quick message to Hope. 

“There,” He said. “Now you have a date.” He grinned mischievously. Remus paled. 

“What did you do?” He picked up his phone and gasped. “Sirius! What the actual?!” His phone pinged as Hope started gushing about how happy she was and how much she’d always loved Sirius. He had to put his phone on silent to shut it up. Sirius had messaged Hope telling her that he was bringing Sirius as his date. Sirius who he’d had a crush on for years and told his mother every little thing about it. Oh gods, this was going to be a disaster. 

“It’ll be fine, Remus. I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend for the day, and then we’ll mysteriously break up, none of them will be the wiser, and it'll make your mum happy.” Remus groaned into his hands. 

They travelled to Wales the day before the wedding and stayed at Remus’s parents house. Lyall greeted them at the door but then disappeared into his study. He was happy in there and Remus was happy he was in there, to be honest. They’d never quite seemed to quite understand each other and this way was easier, much to Hope’s annoyance. 

Hope, on the other hand, wrapped them both in her arms and cooed over Sirius.

“I knew you’d end up together. You’re perfect for each other.” Sirius lapped it up. The only problem they had was Hope put them in Remus’s old bedroom. They hadn’t thought of that when they’d agreed to stay there. There wasn’t even another spare room. 

“It’ll be fun,” Sirius beamed. “Like being back at school.” 

“We never shared a bed. That was you and James,” Remus reminded him. 

“Well, better late than never then, I guess,” Sirius responded. So that was how Remus found himself in bed with Sirius. 

Thankfully, morning came quickly and then it was time for the wedding. 

Everybody made a fuss about Sirius.

“He’s so handsome Remus,” His grandmother had declared when he’d introduced him. “You ought to put a ring on his finger, so he doesn’t get away,” She’d said loudly. Remus went beet red. 

“Nain, you can’t just yell that out!” He hushed her. 

“And why not? I want to see some great grand kids before I pop my clogs, and you aren’t getting any younger,”

“Oh my god,” He didn’t know how to handle her apart from with a gin and tonic and the bar wasn’t open yet. 

“Don’t you worry, Mrs Howell, I’ll make an honest man out of him.” Sirius said, linking her arm with his and leading her away to her table. He turned and winked at Remus. Remus wished he could turn invisible. 

By the end of the wedding, Sirius had won over all of Remus’s family and all of the grooms. In fact, more people knew who Sirius was at the wedding than knew who Remus was. 

Remus was glad when they were on their way back to his parents house. It had been a long day. “So,” Sirius asked him. “When are you going to pop the question? Your Nain’s promised me her engagement ring.” He grinned, fighting back a laugh at Remus. 

“Oh, haha, Sirius,” Remus rolled his eyes and said no more about the subject. 

That night, much to Remus’s surprise, Sirius snuggled under his arm and rested his head on Remus’s chest. 

“I had fun today.” Sirius told him with a sleepy voice. “Your family is really nice, and I might just steal your Nain. She was brilliant.” He turned his head to look at Remus. “Thank you for letting me come.” He said quietly. 

“You invited yourself. I had nothing to do with it.” Remus huffed. 

He closed his eyes hoping Sirius would take the hint. But instead, Sirius pushed up and kissed him. Remus’s eyes shot open, and he stared at Sirius. 

“I was serious about that ring, Moony. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there.” Remus didn’t know what to say, so he dragged Sirius’s face back to his and kissed him deeper than their first. He melted as Sirius kissed him back. “Took you long enough,” Sirius murmured against his lips. Remus had never been happier. He made a note to send a bottle of champagne to his cousin, because without her this might never have happened.   

[the-writing-mobster]

SK!Sans forcing Frisk into a fake marriage ceremony just to mess with her like the jerk he is?

BEHOLD! —

| T M D G | Final! Frisk x SK! Sans Request — Fake Wedding | The bride, her bridesmaids and all her rotting flowers | 💙 🔪 💔 |

.

.

.

He would SO do this. He fucking would, just to rub salt in the wound. And what better fake, salt-in-the-wound, spit-in-the-face "wedding ceremony" than a VEGAS "WEDDING" AMIRITE LADIES!? WHOOOOOOOO (sobbing violently in the corner)

[profoundbondfanfic]

Three Funerals and a Wedding

Three Funerals and a Wedding by Englandwouldfall Rating: Teen and Up Word Count: 29k

“So, um…basically, it’s this… I need you to marry me. For plot.” Castiel stares at him. “What?” Dean asks, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. “I cannot believe gay marriage came to Moondoor before a significant part of America.”

A fake marriage, only one tent, delightfully tropey light read for your consideration.

When Charlie discovers that Cas is considering quitting their regular LARP events, she comes up with a plan to make Dean and Cas get fake married for plot purposes. They are both very into each other and also very dumb about it. There's enough mutual pine to LARP in. As their characters progress in their relationship, things stop being quite so clear in real life.

The fic is largely sweet and fluffy with some light angst (despite a few heavy topics being touched on). Charlie ships it hard and adorably. Plus Dean gets to live out his dorkiest dreams. It's a winning combination!

[romione-trope-fest]

It's Trope Time!!

Without further ado, this year's tropes are....🥁

More detailed descriptions below:

Muggle AU

Coffee shop AU? Childhood best friends? Something we haven’t even imagined yet? The possibilities are endless with this one!

OOTP Missing Moments

Harry was a little too preoccupied with saving the world this year to notice his best friends falling in love with each other, and we missed so many moments as a result! From Prefect rounds to Hermione’s real reaction to that perfume, give us your favorite missing moments from fifth year!

Weasley Weddings

We know our favorite couple had a great time at Bill and Fleur’s wedding, but what about the other Weasley Weddings? Let’s hear about them - yes, including the most important one of all, Ron and Hermione’s!

Only One Bed

ThErE wAs OnLy OnE bEd. How they got there and what happens next is up to you!

Fake NOT Dating

First there was fake dating, and now we bring you fake NOT dating! (i.e. a secret/hidden relationship) How and why might Ron and Hermione have to hide their relationship?

Soulmates

Romione fans all know they’re meant for each other…but what if they were really, really meant for each other? We want to hear your take on this classic trope!

Cockblocker Harry

Poor Harry isn’t the most observant bloke, and he’s surely interrupted some quality time between Ron and Hermione over the years. Let’s get #potterblocked!

And with that, you've got two months! Ready, Set, Create!

[theyrealllesbians]

Wedding Season

Regulus well and truly hates wedding season.

They're miserable. Full of pitying looks and persuasive hands.

He needs a date, and James Potter seems to be a good fit.

✷

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Playlist

All new chapters will be linked here as they are posted!

Also, all posts I make about Wedding Season are tagged, so you can search the tag to find all the extra snippets

[m3tth4ws]

[patrice-bergerons]

I affectionatelly refer to the current fitzier law au installment I am working on as "shameless james whump" (let my man jump into the thames to save someone from drowning, nearly drown himself, and then choose the worst possible way to inform francis that he's landed himself in the hospital, okay) but I want the next one to be a christmas fic.

Specifically, what if neither of them had plans (due to Reasons) and figured they might as well stay at home and get work done but to admit to that is embarrassing so they both told each other that they were going out of town.

except then christmas eve rolls around and they are BOTH still home with no suitcases in sight, leading to a :spidermen pointing at one another: moment, leading to...well seeing as neither of them have any plans, they might as well get chinese takeaway together, no? and thus, they spend the entire christmas together, and there is tree decorating and hallmark movies and just free flowing far ranging conversation bc they are finally at a place where they can talk without the mind games and the pretense. what then you know?

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding)

The important thing, Crowley tells himself -- the most important thing -- is Adam, his brilliant, creative, empathetic nephew. Being fourteen's hard enough; the kid didn't ask to deal with the weight of the world on top of it. And if taking care of Adam means Crowley has to tough it out at a job he can’t stand, so be it. And if Crowley's job means that Adam’s charming English teacher is NOT a romantic possibility, well, that's just how things go. But the occasional drink with Aziraphale proves hard to resist. They frequent the same pub, so who can object to them saying hello? Briefly sharing a table? Perhaps a little conversation? The painful knowledge that it can’t be anything more -- not without somebody getting fired or sued or both -- well, that can't be helped. Until Crowley stumbles onto a terribly reckless idea...

Length: 213,340 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥

Best for: Safe in Public, Human AU, Slow Burn, Pick-Me-Up

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by charlottemadison

*Minor Spoilers* I was so certain that I had already posted about this one! When I saw I hadn't, well, that just warranted a reread didn't it! This is a very famous fic, so I wouldn't be surprised if you've already read this. But if you haven't, or maybe didn't know if it was worth committing to the length, I'm here to tell you its very much worth your time.

Not only is this an excellent parent story, it's also a fake marriage story! Crowley is a single parent to his nephew Adam who strikes up a friendship with Adam's English teacher Mr. Fell. The problem? The company Crowley works for has a strict rule against dating anyone in the School Industry. You know, it's a tiny bit dramatic, but also one of the cleverer ideas to justify writing a forbidden relationship. Does this happen in real life? I don't know, but the way this is written I fully believe it could! Either way, there's a loophole they can exploit so they can be together, and all it takes is a quick, "I do."

Ugh their relationship is so wonderful here. It's very mature and healthy, the kind of relationships we want to read about because they are just so safe. They're able to talk through their issues and feelings and know they're always going to be supported. The love they have is so heartwarming it’s sickening. A lot is told through letters and text messages, which I personally loved. These are different characters from canon, they've both been changed by their human lives and surroundings, but this story just understands who they are deep down. They're not shallow characterizations.

Who this story really gets right is Adam. I full on believe this is the best handling of Adam in any fanfic I've read for Good Omens. A majority of the plot revolves around him being narcoleptic and epileptic. It has tons of amazing things to say about health care, being chronically ill, and being a parent to a child with health issues. But outside of that it understands who Adam is. Someone who is brilliant, creative, a leader, manipulative, arrogant. And how those traits can be both positive and negative for him. He wants to change the world, but has some learning to do along the way. I loved him, and I love how much Crowley loves being a dad. He even remarks on it, that people don't expect men to love being parents. It's nice to read a story of such a devoted guardian.

A really excellent story, it deserves it's popularity! I would say this is largely safe for public. There are a couple explicit scenes tucked in but they are skippable and a small section of a large story. Which by the way, will fly by! This story does NOT feel like 200K words. If you haven't gotten around to this one, I highly suggest you do!

Read it here, fic by charlottemadison

[huntingrays]

wrightworth fake dating au

one day, phoenix gets a wedding invite in the mail from a family member. as he’s reading it, he realizes it’s from his least favorite aunt that he had beef with. he doesn’t see her often due to some comments she’s made about his bisexuality (she’s not overly rude or homophobic but the comments still don’t fly with his gay moms), but the encounters he’s had still leave a bitter taste in his mouth and his blood boiling. normally, he’d rsvp no, but he’s petty and desperate to show her up at her wedding to her third husband.

he decides the best way to do this is to propose to his gay lover at her wedding.

the only problem is that he doesn’t have a gay lover.

he’s going to have to fake date someone and make their relationship look real enough for a proposal to be believable. he comes to the realization that only one qualified enough… is miles.

it takes a lot to convince miles (he’s sure it’s a horrible plan and he has no clue why he’d agree to a deal where the only thing in it for him is more unnecessary feelings), but he eventually gives due to phoenix’s incessant begging.

since phoenix wants their fake relationship to be perfect, he has them go on fake dates (that are weirdly similar to the dinners they often go on) as well as go over the details of their “relationship” (they make it similar to their current friendship, just with them falling in love and getting together after phoenix gets his badge back). it took a lot of convincing for miles to agree to the proposal plan on top of the fake dating scheme, but he can’t win arguments with wright when he’s dead set on a crazy idea, so he begrudgingly gives in (as long as he gets to pick out the ring, because he doubts wright would pick a good enough ring for their fake engagement).

the day comes and the two are confident in their plan. the only problem could be wright’s moms, since he’s close to them and he’s not sure if they’d buy him not telling them about him being in a relationship. however, to their great surprise, they buy it pretty easily. one of them said she suspected it would happen sooner or later with how much phoenix talks about miles while the other assumed that they had been dating for years and just didn’t outwardly say it due to it being obvious (“i mean, i had a feeling you were in love with him after you confessed you wanted to go into law to help him after seeing him in the paper” -mrs. wright).

the wedding is fairly uneventful, and phoenix makes sure to show off his “partner” to everybody he interacts with, since he’s sure loudly and proudly being in love with another man at her wedding would piss of his aunt more (by the time the reception rolls around, miles is incredibly flustered despite the whole relationship being fake).

their proposal goes off without a hitch, and phoenix relishes in the furious look on his aunt’s face.

phoenix expects it to end after the wedding is over. after all, he and miles part ways after, and all he has is the memories and his intense feelings for his dear friend.

however, it does not, in fact, end there.

what phoenix didn’t know was that an old acquaintance was the plus one for one of his cousins. she saw the proposal and had to take a picture, confident that a story about the engagement between chief prosecutor miles edgeworth and defense attorney phoenix wright would be just the thing to really kick off her career.

turns out, lotta hart was very right, and phoenix and miles had to deal with their fake proposal being very public (as well as their friends being upset that they weren’t even told that the two were dating in the first place)

[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 30 - New Year

Giuseppe stared out the window of his dressing room, watching the snow gently drift down. Anita had decided on having their ceremony on New Year's Eve.

“We'll start a new life along with a new year,” she'd said.

He'd tweaked her chin. “You think things will really be all that different?”

She'd gently tugged on his beard. “Let me have a little romanticism in my life, Sepp. I know I'm normally a no-nonsense sort of woman… but this is different.” She'd turned and given him the warmest look she'd ever given him. “On that day, we'll be joined together. Personally, I intend for it to be permanent. I want to make it special.”

Peppino walked up behind him, already fully dressed in the suit he would be wearing. In keeping with the theme, Peppino was wearing a version of the Army formal suit. While he'd never been an officer, the government had given him and Gustavo permission to wear a replica.

The official who Giuseppe had spoken to had been almost ecstatic. “Mr. Spaghetti deserves that much, as does Mr. Farina!” He'd leaned over conspiratorially. “I heard they're thinking of making a medal for you guys.”

Something that had turned out to be true… but Gustavo and Peppino didn't know it yet. He smirked as he thought of their surprise.

Giuseppe had returned to the tailor who'd done Peppino's chef's outfit before…. and had promptly had to get Peppino to return for remeasurement. With all the exercise Peppino had being doing alongside him, plus all the weight he'd lost carrying Tony around, he'd changed pretty dramatically.

Peppino ran his hands down the front of his suit. “I haven't-a been this trim since-a the War.” He put a hand on Giuseppe's shoulder. “You OK, fratello?”

Giuseppe laughed uneasily and turned. “I have a whole flock of butterflies in my stomach, but I guess I'm fine otherwise.” He gripped his stomach - he wasn't afraid. He knew Anita was a few rooms over.

But the anxiety was getting to him.

Peppino held up the formal military coat Giuseppe would be wearing, jingling with decorations. “Come on, Major, let’s-a get you in your own outfit.”

Giuseppe dutifully held up an arm, and Peppino slipped it over, weaving around to assist him with the other sleeve. “You know, fratello, sometimes I'm-a jealous of you.”

“What for?” Giuseppe said.

Peppino bounced the coat, and it jangled like a tambourine. “You-a did so much, in your time. So much decoration. I never-a got more than-a my basic bars. Never, ah, never distinguished myself.”

Giuseppe turned to his brother, who began the process of closing the coat. “Don't think too highly of all this brass, Pino. There's a lot of pain in each of these. A lot of… lost friends.”

Peppino nodded. “Ovviamente. But…” he sighed. “Some-a-times I just wish I had-a done something more-a… noble.”

Giuseppe reached out, grasping his brother's shoulders with both hands. “Fratellino, saving the entire world isn't noble?”

“But I-a had you guys with me,” Peppino said.

“And you think I was alone, all these times?” Giuseppe said. He pointed at the various badges and medals. “Each one of these was a group effort, fratellino.”

Peppino dutifully pointed at the lurid orange medal that indicated the Battle of Inferno. “And this one? Only-a you succeeded.”

Giuseppe thought of all the other runners who'd died to destroy the superweapon. “Dozens died for that one, Peppino. And that's not even counting the ground battle that happened outside.” He thumped Peppino in the chest. “And besides, who was the one who damn near broke reality to destroy the Pizzamancer? You.” Giuseppe bent over, picking up the sash that was the last part of his outfit. “You're just as deserving of praise as me, Pino. More, in some ways. To the world, you're a hero.”

“It doesn't-a feel like it,” Peppino muttered.

“It never does,” Giuseppe said, smiling as he clipped the sash. “Until somebody in the street stops to thank you, or someone hands you a coffee on the house.” He chuckled. “Or the government gives the bank a little poke when they're not sure about giving you a loan.”

Peppino did a double-take. “How-a did you-?”

He shrugged. “I didn't know, I guessed.” Giuseppe laughed. “Fame does have its privileges, fratellino. Says a lot about someone, how they use it… or don't.”

Peppino muttered something about him being a “intelligentone,” and Giuseppe laughed. “Takes one to know one, fratellino.”

As he finished the last bits, there was a knock at the door.

Giuseppe knew who it was. “Get that, please, would you, Pino?”

As Peppino walked to the door, muttering “I said I'd be your best-a man, not-a your manservant,” Giuseppe walked over and grabbed two small boxes from a drawer.

Peppino opened the door… to find Gustavo standing, dressed exactly like him. “Amico? Aren't you supposed to-a stay with the bride?”

Gustavo shrugged. “Seppe said he wanted to see me before the ceremony.”

“Close the door, please, Gus,” Giuseppe said. He was almost bursting with excitement. As Gus did so, Giuseppe turned, one of the boxes in hand. “I needed to see both of you. I have something for you.” He held up the box.

“That-a looks… very official,” Peppino said cautiously.

“That's because it is,” Giuseppe said with a smile. “I won't stand on too much ceremony, but… atten-tion!"

The tone of his voice clicked an old reflex, and both men stood up straight.

Giuseppe walked over to his brother. “When I spoke to the military office, they had something else for me. They wanted to make it some grand ceremony, but… I thought this would be better.”

Peppino and Gustavo both looked puzzled.

Giuseppe opened the box… and pulled out a medallion. “Peppino Spaghetti, Gustavo Farina, I, Giuseppe Spaghetti, have been authorized to give you this - the only medal ever given and recognized by all major governments. The International Medal of Valor.”

Peppino's bottom lip began to wobble as Giuseppe pinned the medal to his chest. “I… I-a don't…” he looked Giuseppe in the eyes. “How did-a you know?”

Giuseppe laughed. “When you started in about medals, I almost broke. This is as big an honor as you can get, you two. Bigger than anything I ever got before.” He patted Peppino on the shoulder, smiling. “Congratulations, Sergeant Major Spaghetti.”

Peppino's eyes grew wide. “S-Sergeant M-M-”

“Oh, I forgot to mention. They gave you both an honorary promotion. I have the insignia for you, too.” He clipped it on Peppino's shoulders, and the man looked ready to cry.

Giuseppe bent over, doing the same for Gustavo, who looked ready to bawl himself. Then he glanced at Giuseppe's shoulder. “Wait. Your own bars are different.”

Giuseppe laughed. “Yeah. Apparently they were feeling generous. My official rank is now apparently Brigadier General. I'm still retired, but…” he beamed. “Anita's a Colonel, now, herself. Gave her her medal and insignias yesterday.”

Gustavo's voice wobbled a little as he spoke. “I thought she seemed more excited than usual. I thought it was just wedding jitters.”

Peppino examined the medal. “So, does-a the design have any meaning?”

Giuseppe pointed. “The gold ring, inlaid with blue and green, represents the world, since this is an international honor. The five stars around the edge of the gold ring indicate it's the highest possible honor.” He pointed at the lurid purple bar, above the circular medal. “The purple bar indicates the Tower, of course. That part's unique to this version.” He shrugged. “Of course, who knows when this might get used again?”

Peppino looked over at Gustavo's, noticing a difference. “Why does-a mine have a ruby in-a the center of-a the bar, and not Gustavo's?”

Giuseppe smirked, pointing at his own. “That's a special bonus. For those of us that died there and got brought back. You, me, and Anita have the ruby. Noise and Noisette will get one, too.”

“Oh, great,” Peppino muttered. “Just-a what we need, something else to inflate-a the gremlin's ego.”

Giuseppe finished pinning the medal on Gustavo's chest, and he stood and saluted the two. Peppino and Gustavo returned it, tears in both their eyes.

“Thank you, fratello,” Peppino choked out.

Gustavo nodded. “My parents would've been so proud…"

Giuseppe smiled and put his hand down. “Hopefully Mama doesn't have a coronary from happiness.”

“You haven't-a told her yet?” Peppino said, incredulous.

“Well, I did just get these a few days ago,” he said.

Gustavo looked down. “So it's okay for me to go back to Anita's room with all this? She knows, right?”

“Yep! She should have her own stuff on by now.” He glanced at the clock. “Affrettarsi, though, we're getting close to time!”

As the gnome exited, Peppino was fingering the rank insignia. His chin wobbled as he did. “You bastardo sporco, there I was, talking all that-a nonsense about recognition and rank, and you had-a this just sitting in the drawer…”

Giuseppe laughed and gave Peppino a hug. “Took everything I had not to tell you, fratellino.” He held him at arm's length. “Looking good, Peppino. Now you have some decorations, too. The biggest decoration in the world.”

Peppino smiled, trying to maintain his composure. “Sì,” he whispered. “I never thought I would have something like this. A life… a life like this. A son. Honors. A successful ristorante. A brother.” He clasped Giuseppe's shoulder, and Giuseppe returned the favor.

Giuseppe smirked. “We're brothers-in-arms, too, fratellino. It doesn't get much closer than that.”

Peppino wiped away tear. “Sì.” He dropped his arms. “I'm-a not taking orders from you, though, General,” he said with a grin.

Giuseppe put on a mock scowl. “So, it's mutiny, then.”

They stared at each other… then burst out laughing at the absurdity. “Come on, Sergeant-Major. We have a wedding to attend.”

~~~~

Giuseppe stood at the altar, at ease, smiling and trying not to fidget. Peppino flanked him, beaming. They'd spoken to their mother before the ceremony. If she smiled any bigger, we wouldn't need candles, Giuseppe thought wryly.

They hadn't gone very flowery, like most weddings; a wedding between two professional soldiers called for something a bit different. Plus, Anita doesn't care much for flowers. Or frills, for that matter. There was ivy everywhere, though. Though the snow was piling up outside, a warm breeze flowed through the room, and birds sang. They'd hired an environmental illusionist to decorate the room. They'd spoken to Margherita at length, and now it was as close as they could get to her old home, back in Italy, on a nice spring day. We should visit there, sometime.

The overhead lights were dimmed; instead, candles of various sizes, from small tea lights up to monolithic towers, illuminated the room. A few of them were floating; most were illusory.

All their friends were in attendance. They'd even talked Fake into coming out. They sat beside Brando. Brando was almost shaking with pride at the medal on his chest, and Fake… well, Fake's expression could be hard to read at the best of times, but they almost radiated pride - both theirs, and for their son.

Pepperman sat at the front. He and Anita had become close, and she'd insisted he be front and center. He'd sworn to paint a portrait of them as soon as the ceremony was complete. “I'll burn it into my mind’s eye,” he'd said airily. They'd fashioned a long collar for him to wear his medal. He's probably burning an entire country’s supply of smugness right now, Giuseppe thought.

Behind him were the Noises. Noisette had worn an amazingly flashy dress, and the medal clashed magnificently. She was bouncing up and down, and as his gaze swept over them, she waved energetically, which he returned, much more subtly. In her arms, Tony babbled happily; the little Mingle had taken a liking to her, and she had almost fainted when Peppino had entrusted her with him. She'd elected not to stand with them as a result, but she was still beaming with delight. Meanwhile, the little bean was reaching for a tea light, fascinated by the floating objects. He kept staring around, almost as interested in all the new faces as he was the lights. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

Beside her, Noise held his head high. Giuseppe had expected him to crow and yell and proclaim his greatness, when he'd received the medal; instead, the little man had been quiet, unnaturally so. It had thrown everyone off completely. Even Noisette had seemed surprised. Then Noise had pulled Giuseppe aside. “Wanna say, I don't deserve this, big guy.”

“Noise, you saved the world, just like the rest of us,” Giuseppe had said. “You destroyed the Pizzamancer's monster army. You fought him. I can still hear that big damned bomb going off,” he said with a grin.

Noise chuckled, still unusually subdued. “Yeah, that was a good one. As for the monsters, Noisette and the others did most of it. All I did was press a button.”

Giuseppe had rolled his eyes, amused but now slightly exasperated. “Listen, folletto, when a General says “take your laurels,” take your damn laurels. You deserve it, just as much as the rest of us.”

Noise had looked a little surprised at the big Italian's vehemence. “Well, uh… I guess. If ya say so.” He flipped the medal on his chest, and gave the most genuine smile Giuseppe had ever seen on his face. “I never got any honors like this before. I mean, I got awards for shows an’ such, but… this is different. I'm gonna wear it proud-like. Gonna get it framed, put it in my office. Thank ya, big guy.” Then he'd grabbed Giuseppe's sash, looking oddly desperate. “Don't tell Peppino, OK?”

Giuseppe had smiled and simply made a zipped-lip motion.

Even General Burne had shown up. Giuseppe and Anita had both been shocked to see the old man, and they had had to explain to most of the others just who he was… and why they were so stirred up.

Anita, in particular, had been nervous. “I, uh… I'm sorry I ran off on you, all those years ago, Maj- er, General.”

Burne had waved a hand and smiled, his mustache, now white as snow, bristling. “Personally, I understood, Anita. I'm the one who signed the order dismissing the charges, after all.” Then he'd winked, which had thrown both of them off. “Besides, I think saving the world qualifies you for a bit of forgiveness.”

He was sitting near the back, taking up a huge amount of space. An active general came with quite the retinue, after all.

Anita had invited a few of her family, but none had shown up. “I'm not surprised,” she said, disgusted. “Most of ‘em I didn't really want here, anyway. They're lowlifes.” She'd looked around. “My family's already here.”

A whole cloud of Spec Ops agents had shown up, headed up by Captain Lambert, the Frenchman who'd liaised with them. “A Brigadier General requires at least some presence, monsieur, to say nothing of a Colonel,” he'd said with a wide grin. “Plus… a lot of the youngsters miss you, General Spaghetti.”

Giuseppe had laughed. “Being too hard of a taskmaster on them, eh, Louis?”

The Frenchman had shrugged. “Someone has to keep them in line.”

Anita had chuckled. “Tell them if they don't straighten up, I'll come out of retirement to whip them into shape.”

Louis had grinned… if a little painfully. In her short return, Anita had terrorized the whole organization, running them through their paces like the toughest of drill sergeants. “I'll tell them. No offense, Madame, but even I would be terrified of such a prospect.”

Finally, the doors opened at the end of the hall, and everyone stood. Gustavo escorted Anita down the aisle, acting as both Father of the Bride and bridesmaid/groomsman. He smiled impishly - Anita was short enough he didn't have to unduly stretch to hold her hand, and he was enjoying the experience.

Anita wore an outfit identical to Giuseppe's, though somewhat less festooned with insignia; she'd immediately rejected the idea of a dress. “I'm not a dress woman,” she'd said. “I'm a former soldier, a professional.”

Giuseppe had just smiled. “Wouldn't have it any other way, ‘Nita.”

Of course, she had her own chest full of metal; she'd been quite active before she'd left. The Colonel insignia, as well as the new medal, gleamed in the soft light.

Her face was the most serene he'd ever seen her wear.

They had eschewed music, too. “Ugh, too fru-fru for my taste,” she'd said. The birdsong had been her idea, though. She loves nature.

Vigi stood beside Giuseppe, the officiant - as Sheriff, one of his duties was the ability to officiate weddings. He'd almost burst with pride when he'd found out that was his role, and he was taking it seriously. “Been practicin’ fer weeks,” he’d said that morning.

“But… it's only a few words,” Giuseppe had said, laughing.

“Maybe,” Vigi had replied. “But they're important words.”

Anita stopped beside Giuseppe, and Gustavo took up his position, mirroring Peppino. She grinned at him. “Looking sharp, General,” she whispered.

“Don't rub it in,” Giuseppe replied.

Together, they turned to the Sheriff.

Vigi gestured for everyone to sit - the medal glittered as he moved. Lacking anywhere else to put it, he'd pinned it to his hat.

“We're gathered here t'day t’ witness the joinin’ of Giuseppe Spaghetti and Anita Morelli in matrimony. Both bride an’ groom have elected to forego any long, flowery speeches.” The crowd laughed quietly. “They have, however, elected t’ say few words.” He gestured. “Go ahead.”

Giuseppe looked into Anita's eyes. “For twenty years, part of me was lost,” he said. “A part I wept for, mourned for. A few months ago, it returned, quietly, subtly, but as bright as the sun. For the first time in ages, I felt whole.” He smiled. “I never want to lose that again.”

Anita nodded. “For twenty years, I searched the world for something I'd lost,” she said. “It took me all that time to realize - I had left it behind. It was waiting for me. I just had to have the courage to return. And, even though it ended up getting dropped in my lap unexpectedly… it really was what I'd been missing, the whole time.” She smiled. “I’ll never let it go again.”

They turned back to Vigi, who cleared his throat. “And as such, today we bind the two of you together, never t’ be parted again.” He turned towards Peppino. “The ring, sir?”

Peppino pulled the ring box out of his coat pocket, grinning like a cat, handing it to his brother. Giuseppe opened it, revealing a shining titanium band.

Giuseppe took Anita's hand, slipping the ring over her finger. “Had to pull some strings for this one. It's a piece of the shell of Inferno.”

She grinned. “Well. Great minds think alike, then.” Gustavo, on cue, proffered his own ring box, and she opened it to reveal another titanium ring. As she slipped it over his finger, she smirked. “Another piece of Inferno. Had to pull some strings of my own to get it.” She snickered. “Probably best you don't ask how, though.”

Giuseppe laughed. “God, we're too much alike, sometimes.”

Anita grinned. “More like two parts of a bigger piece.”

Giuseppe nodded, and they turned back to Vigi.

The sheriff cleared his throat again. “By my authority as Sheriff of Tower Town, I declare ya husband an’ wife.” He grinned. “I'd say ‘you may kiss the bride,’ but… I think that goes without sayin’.”

They both laughed, turned, and Giuseppe grabbed Anita, doing a full dip while kissing her.

Everyone cracked up, then applauded.

As he stood her back on her feet, she glared at him… but she was smiling. “A little over the top, don't you think?”

He smiled his most roguish smile. “Glad I can still surprise you.”

~~~~

The reception was winding down; almost all the attendees had left already, hoping to at least reach La Crosta before the snow became impassable. Gustavo had volunteered to take Margherita home. “It's on my way, anyway,” he'd said.

Before she had left, she had insisted on giving the couple, as well as Peppino and Gustavo, a hug. “I'm so proud of you all. You all survived so much. Now look at you. Honored as you should be…” she gestured to them all, “you two, married…” she gave both Giuseppe and Anita a kiss on the cheek, “you two, having given me my first grandchild,” she did the same for Peppino and Gustavo, “to say nothing of giving me a nuora e genero.” She beamed at them all. “I've never been more proud of you all.” She patted Gustavo on the shoulder. “And I know your genitori are beside themselves with joy, genero. Stand proud.”

Gustavo blushed, then cleared this throat. “We should get going, Mrs. Spaghetti. The roads could be treacherous soon.” He waggled his finger at Tony, in Peppino's arms, and the boy giggled. “Be careful going home, you two.”

“Fai lo stesso, amico Mio,” Peppino said. “Take care, Mama.”

As they left, Peppino, Giuseppe, and Anita looked around. The room was being cleared away - they hadn't opted for a big reception, either.

That hadn't stopped everyone from providing housewarming gifts, though.

Peppino walked to the pile, which was impressive. “Do-a you need me to help you get this-a home? I can load some of it in-a my car…”

Giuseppe waved a hand. “Nah. We've got room. You should get home. No need to keep the bambino out in this mess.” He bent over and tweaked the boy's nose, who giggled. “Do you need me to come by tomorrow and watch him?”

Peppino shook his head. “Fake is-a going to open the pizzeria tomorrow - but I don't-a expect much business, between the snow and it-a being New Year's. Too-a many people will be sleeping off the night before.” He smirked. “And besides, I doubt you will-a be up to much tomorrow, eh?”

Even Anita blushed. “Just announce it to the world, why don't you…”

Peppino laughed. “It's-a what newlyweds do, eh? No one would be surprised.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And I can't-a wait to have a nipote o pronipote to spoil.” He went quiet, reaching up to finger the medal and the rank bars. “I still-a can't believe it.”

Giuseppe and Anita held each other. “You deserve it, Pino, you really do,” Giuseppe said.

“Forse,” Peppino said quietly. He picked up Tony's bag, looped it over his shoulder, and shook hands with Anita. “I know, you've-a been doing it already… but take-a good care of mio fratello, OK?”

Anita looked up at her husband. “I will. I mean it when I said… I'll never let it go again.”

Peppino nodded, content. “Va bene. Ciao, you two. See you later.”

~~~~

Giuseppe dropped the last of the gifts on the counter in his kitchen, as Anita closed the door to his apartment. “You know,” she said, flopping down on the couch, “even if we hadn't just got married, I think I'd stay here tonight.”

Giuseppe nodded; the snow had picked up considerably, and they'd had to clear a path to the stairs. “No kidding. Good thing I stocked up. Looks like we're gonna be snowed in a few days.”

He walked over and sat down beside her, undoing the sash and his coat’s bindings. Anita had already shucked hers. “This stuff is pretty comfortable, for a dress uniform, but…”

She reached over and helped him shrug off the heavy broadcloth. “Yeah. At least we didn't need a coat in this cold.”

She stood, draping the coat over a chair. “We'll just put this all away properly… tomorrow,” she said. She flopped back down.

Both of them sat in silence for a bit, just enjoying each other's presence.

Suddenly, outside, distant singing started, and, despite the snow, fireworks started popping.

“Huh…?” Giuseppe said, checking his watch. It read 12:00. “Well, I'll be damned. It's already that late.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Happy New Year.”

She returned the favor. “Happy New Year,” she said, snuggling up under his arm. “What year are we in now?”

“2593,” Giuseppe said quietly. “47 years now, I've been here.”

Anita nuzzled his chest. “48, for me. But thanks to the regeneration, it's like 28 all over again.” She looked up and grinned.

He smiled. “Yeah. A whole new life to live.”

They sat and watched the burst of fireworks through the window, softened by the falling snow.

[tennessoui]

november ko-fi part two release

hello hello i made a mistake and decided i wanted my december ko-fi to be more overtly holiday related.....after getting 3k into it, so i finished it and am posting early so i can post a more wintery one next month!! my b my head is literally everywhere but on straight lately

so this is the link to my ko-fi; in my gallery, i've uploaded the link to a google doc where i've written 5k of the divorce lawyer au, set in the morning after this snippet (where divorce lawyer obi-wan gets drunk at a bar and flirts with serial husband anakin)....here is an excerpt:

When Obi-Wan just blinks at him again, mouth slightly open, Anakin huffs as if he’s being difficult on purpose. “I want to stay married to you.” “What?” Anakin has the nerve to roll his eyes as if this isn’t incredibly jarring news. “I mean, I’m assuming you can’t be the divorce lawyer in our divorce, right?” Obi-Wan’s lips thin. “Yes, that would be—” “A conflict of interest, right,” Anakin waves his hand through the air. “And I’m assuming you’re not very interested in one of your coworkers knowing that you fucked me and married me during a drunk night out in Las Vegas.” “I’m much more interested in that than I am in staying married, Mr. Skywalker,” Obi-Wan snaps, even as he realizes how uninterested he is in his coworkers finding out about this. Who would he trust to be tight-lipped about the whole thing? Cody perhaps, but there’s no way Cody wouldn’t tell his brother. And there’s no way his brother wouldn’t tell everyone else. And Vos, his other partner? Absolutely unthinkable. “Don’t call me that,” Anakin replies. His lips tilt up into a grin, as if he’s finding something incredibly entertaining but this current situation. “Too formal for you now? Am I supposed to feel obligated to only call you by your first name now that you’ve had your tongue dow my throat?” Obi-Wan asks in his most withering tone. Anakin’s cheeks light up, as if he isn’t a man who spends half his time in other people’s beds doing much more explicit things. “No,” Anakin says. “Call me by my last name all you want, it’s just that it’s not Skywalker anymore.” He flashes a devastating smile in Obi-Wan’s direction. “It’s Kenobi.”

as a reminder, the link is only accessible for monthly supporters--but if you sign up now, you would get access to the other three ficlets i've posted there AND access to the december one because i'll be posting that in the first half of december!! if you want to become a monthly supporter, it's really easy, just make sure that you switch the payment amount from 'one time' to 'monthly', otherwise the system won't recognize you as a monthly supporter and you won't be able to see the link :(

[aurora-boreas-borealis]

Power Rangers RPM AU where Summer marries Scott and Flynn to spite her parents

[kirythestitchwitch]

Klaroline WIP Wed - fake sexy lamp au - 1.3

1.1 here 1.2 here

“Ugh!” With a dramatic huff and a flounce, Rebekah tipped sideways to lean on his shoulder, which drew a deep exhale from her exceedingly patient older brother, who was reaching his limit. Her gaze drifted over the contents of his folder, and she drew in a short breath. “Oh. Stefan.”

“Mm. The Ripper still appears to call this town home. Once more, he’s been pulled into the wake of a doppelgänger’s tragedies and found himself ensnared.” Lifting a page, from the stack underneath, he held up a photo—clearly taken at night—of Stefan outside a house, peering in the window.

Making a face, Rebekah reached her arm around and plucked another photo up: Stefan watching the doppelgänger in a graveyard. In the photo, she appeared to be writing in a journal, knees tucked up almost to her chin. 

“She’s not nearly as pretty as the first one,” Bekah said cattily, and real amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth for the first time all morning. His little sister could be so petty when she chose to be, and she had never quite gotten over the loss of Stefan all those years ago. To find he had been pulled into the aura of the doppelgänger like so many others before him had to be a low blow. The low level psychic tug the doppelgängers projected seemed to work on some, not on others. Elijah seemed eternally bound to their whims.

Thinking of Elijah put the scowl back on Klaus’ face.

“Enough, Rebekah.” Pulling the photo from her fingers, he tucked it back into the folder and shut it. “That will be your new best friend, come Monday morning.”

“Ugh. She promises to be horribly depressing. Writing in her diary in a graveyard, honestly.” Rebekah flicked the folder. “Hope you have a Tortured Artist persona ready, she’ll probably like that one.”

“Well, we’re not leaving anything to chance, or the treachery of the canon fodder this time, are we? Nor will Elijah be here to become romantically entangled in her web.” Idly, he watched passers-by mill around the town square.

Rolling her head against his shoulder to look up at his face, Rebekah squinted at him. “Are you two ever going to make up? It’s been decades.”

Something that certainly wasn’t petulance, definitely annoyance, crept into his voice. “Elijah is the one with the grudge. If he had only not spent two decades wallowing in self-imposed misery—”

“After you told him that you threw us into the ocean,” Rebekah pointed out.

“—Of which it was very clear to see I had not done so. You would have thought his spies better at reporting such things, and after I left so many of them alive.” It was rather magnanimous of him, he thought. Elijah should have come running, decades before he’d crawled out of his den of woe. Even now, he was still living apart from them. Oh, he’d visit to see Kol and Rebekah, but Klaus he ignored with frigid politeness. It was galling.

“You could just apologize,” Bekah wheedled.

Klaus reached for his backpack and shoved the folders inside, jerking the zip closed. Getting to his feet, he dumped Rebekah over on the bench and she swore while she righted herself. 

“I guess that’s a ‘no’ then,” she said irritably, shoving hair off her face.

[innytoes]

Okay, last one 🤭

“you’re like perfection (some kind of holiday)”

you’re like perfection (some kind of holiday)

Bobby hates Hallmark Movies. Every year the extended Shaw-Wilson clan got together and he was outvoted by his seven female cousins and he had to watch them.

Which is why he's so mad that he currently seems to be in one. After being sent to this tiny town by his boss to scope out some dinky December music festival for 'undiscovered talent', his rental gets stuck in a snowbank and he's literally rescued by a handsome Christmas tree farmer slash dog walker slash handyman slash math tutor. Who is cute. And full of joy and Christmas spirit. And perfect.

And maybe Bobby doesn't discover the Magic of Christmas, but he does discover his perfect Hallmark Dreamboat is an amazing country singer. The question is, what's he going to do about it?

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