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seriesxwriting · 2 years ago

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We’re locked in forever

W Dean Winchester<3

Series- supernatural

Warnings- vampire killing (beheading, machete use, fighting, blood) swearing, kissing, arguing.

Summary- Dean won’t let you come out on a hunt and you start an argument because of it. Over thinking the worst you sneak out the bunker to help the Winchesters. And save your boyfriends ass.

“Y/n your not coming on the hunt- how many times” Dean shook his head at me seriously picking up his machete and placing it in his bag. I folded my arms scowling at him. “No means no your not going to change my mind” Dean stopped putting everything back down giving me his full attention.

“Your being ridiculous! I’ve watched you guys hunting for months- I’ve been in fights I know what I’m doing” I argued back at him. “You’ve never been on a hunt how can you know what your doing” he half laughed. “Are you seriously laughing right now”. Dean stopped laughing and looked like he regretted it. Sam giggled at his brother in the background. I whipped around frowning at Sam. “Are you going to back me up then?” I questioned. “I’m not getting involved in relationship drama” he shook his head holding his hands up in defence. I rolled my eyes looking back at my boyfriend.

“I will take you hunting but not today y/n, can you please just stay at the bunker and stop making this hard” Dean begged me with his eyes. “But it’s dangerous- you need all the help you can get” “cas is meeting us there” Dean picked up his bag putting it on his back. “Great so now your choosing cas over me” “cas will heal you won’t” Sam told me as he walked past. “Stay out of this Sam” me and Dean snapped at him at the exact same time. “We don’t need or want the help so your staying here” Dean told me getting pissed off now. I rolled my eyes again and left the room with tears in my eyes. I know I know! Crying over a little argument like that is pointless. It wasn’t just that, Dean never trusted me with anything supernatural. It’s like he doesn’t think I’m strong enough, smart enough, good enough.

It’s so draining when all I want to do is help out. I know he gets stressed about a lot of things supernatural based and me arguing with him isn’t going to solve anything. But I didn’t understand why he shuts me out. I sat on our bed like I always did when he went out and I wasn’t sure if he was going to return. I told myself- he’s a good hunter, and he has Sam and cas. But I’d feel better if I was with him. The paranoia crept over me as I deeply thought about the last things we said to each other. What if these were his last moments? I couldn’t let him die and I definitely couldn’t let him leave me on bad terms.

I got myself standing bravely, shoving up deans side of the mattress revealing not only a hand gun but a machete. A stained red machete but still, just what I needed. I reached for it holding it in my hands for a second swinging it a few times, just getting a feel for it again. and then ran about the rooms to collect everything I needed for my surprise appearance. I picked up the gun that Sam gave me when I finally moved in with them.

Dean never usually let me go near weapons unless we were training together. Ensuring the gun was full and the safety was on I then left mine and deans room. With that I left the bunker and closed the door shut behind me, making my way up to my car. I put my belonging on the seat next to me while placing my gun in my belt so it was close. The bullets I took were coated in dead man’s blood. Perfect for a vamp nest. Then using my phone maps I typed in the location and set off on my way. Dean was going to be pissed but I had to stand up for myself.

-Sam and Dean-

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Sam raised an eyebrow leaning back in his chair comfortably. “No” Dean replied coldly. “Come on Dean, you know she’s ready why don’t you just give her a chance” “it’s really none of your business Sammy, so stay out of it” Dean rolled his eyes getting tired off the conversation. “I’m just saying if you don’t include her she’s going to get annoyed that your pushing her away”

“Would you take your girlfriend to this hunt?” Dean looked at his brother, frustrated. “ it’s not about that- you lied to y/n again, you’ve said that you’ll take her on hunts when everyone knows your not planning to” “SAM JUST- just stop” Dean came to a holt a little bit away from a building. “What don’t you get about the fact I don’t want to talk about it- she’s my girlfriend and I’ll handle the situation how ever I want” he scowled before jumping out of the car in a fit of rage.

“Okay fine but calm down- you go in there angry you’ll get yourself killed” Sam warned walking round to the boot which Dean had already flung open and was rooting around in. “Whatever, let’s just get this over and done with” he blanked Sam completely while gripping the machete in his right hand and hiding his gun in the back of his belt. Sam exhaled a deep breath watching Dean striding towards the danger ahead. “Dean wait!” He called out feeling almost guilty now. He’d said he wasn’t going to get involved.

Dean kicked open the wooden door of the barn and walked in like he owned the place. “Anyone home?” He yelled just as Sam caught up with him. “Dean!” Sam hissed wide eyed. But Dean completely ignored him. When no one came out sam began to walk forward while Dean scanned the room. All of a sudden Sam fell though the wooden floor into some sort of pit. “SAMMY” Dean yelled racing towards the side. He looked as if he’d hit his head, there was blood on the side.

Vampires now started to walk through the door. There was ten of them. or maybe more at second glance, all grinning at the elder Winchester brother. “We heard the winchesters were after us, wasn’t going to make it easy” one of them voiced putting a hand on her hip. Dean frowned at the group and lifted up his knife. “I’m not going to make this easy either”. With that line, the group of vampires all sprung to action lunging, growling at Dean showing their sharpe, white fangs. He slashed through them while Sammy laid knocked out in the pit and Cas was nowhere to be seen. Dean had manage to behead over half of them but now they were starting to corner him. He was grabbed by a snapping vampire and another one was coming behind him when I arrived.

I slashed the machete watching the read roll to the floor. Once Dean had finished with the provoking vamp grabbing at the front of him, he spun around gawping at me. “Always watch your back Dean, do you not know anything about hunting” I smirked feeling quite proud of myself for stepping up. “Duck!” I shouted at him and he instantly listened. I swung the blade over his head hitting the vamp in the right spot decapitating it. “I told you to stay at the bunker” my boyfriend sarcastically spoke while he continued to fight the vampires. He left only two, he claimed the man and I went after the woman pulling her hair and dragging her backwards over my leg and using my right hand to cut off her head. I saw Dean was physically fighting the vampire now and had dropped his weapon. “Dean!” I squealed distracting them both and chucking my machete on him. In one swift movement he removed the head off the vampire.

Panting he dropped the knife and looked over at me, covered in vampire blood. “I know you angry…” I trailed off when he didn’t say anything. “I just got worried- what if something went wrong and the last thing I said to you was…” as I was talking Dean walked over to me. He looked down at my tear full eyes and melted into a hug. I blinked into his chest shocked at his move, it wasn’t like Dean to just hug an argument out. Especially when I disobeyed something he was so serious about.

“I need to get Sammy and then we can talk okay” he whispered kissing my head. “Okay- wait where is Sam?” I quizzed looking around playing with deans hand in mine. He gently pulled me over to the a pit in the middle of the room. I looked down in horror swing Sam stirring. “Oh my god” I gasped covering my mouth staring at the dead humans the vampires had stacked in one of the corners. Right next to where Sam had fallen. “Sam” Dean called down to him looking quite worried.

“What- the hell happened” Sam groaned rolling onto his side and moving his hand to his head feeling the blood. “You fell in a hole and knocked yourself out you dumbass” dean chuckled leaning over and putting his hand out to his brother. “Y/n? When did you get here” Sam asked standing up wobbling slightly. “Uh- a few minutes ago- are you okay?” I worriedly frowned. “Yeah yeah” he nodded grabbing deans hand. Like the hulk Dean pulled sammy out of the pit. God he was hot. “Hey” i weakly smiled hugging him. “I’m glad your here” Sam whispered rubbing my back.

In that moment Cas ran through the doors looking ready for a fight. “Right on time cas” dean rolled his eyes, signalling at all the dead vamps on the floor. “they- they had me tied up” he pointed outside. “You were tied up- by vampires? Did you forget your an angel for a second” “well- they got the drop on me” cas blinked trying to explain himself. “Leave him alone dean, I had to save your ass” I shoved him gently, smirking cheekily. “I mean- i could have done it” Dean shrugged looking at the floor. “Uh huh” i hummed with a little grin. Dean pulled me under his arm kissing my head “come on, we need to talk” he told me leading me out of the barn, leaving Sam and cas to catch up. Dean stopped when we got outside his car.

“I…” sean started letting his eyes drop to the floor. He smiled to himself not exactly knowing what to say. The Winchester pulled me closer to him by my hips. “I’ve never done this- before” he shook his head speaking to me softly. “I don’t want to ruin what we have but I can’t lose you and- I can’t protect you if I’m busy- when we’re out here you can’t be my priority and I don’t like that I’m not comfortable with that” Dean explained to me clearly upset about the situation at hand. “Dean you don’t…” “…please y/n just let me get it all out I need to explain it correctly” “okay” I nodded reaching up to his neck looking into his eyes. “I trust You I respect you but I’ve lost so many people y/n so if I have to piss you off to keep you safe…” he trailed off but I understood the gist.

“Dean, I can’t sit at home and wait for you to come back anymore everything you’ve said is completely valid but I feel the same way, how can I look out for you if you don’t include me” I asked him seriously in a calm manner not wanting an argument. “Y/n i don’t need looking out for im used to this, your not” Dean reminded me. “You’ve got to stop saying that to me- I’ve been taught by the best, the unstoppable Winchester brothers” I smiled lightly. “Are you trying to sweet talk me” Dean laughed a little. “Depends- is it working?” I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Maybe A little” dean shrugged growing a little grin. “Dean- you saw I was completely fine today right?- right?” I pushed him for an answer. He nodded his head slightly “yeah, you were amazing today” dean finally admitted. “You saved my ass” “I want to be out here with you because I’m here for the long run Dean, I’m not going anywhere we’re locked in”. He sat on that for a second thinking on what he wanted to say. “So am I y/n- I’m just- scared” he admitted showing a venerable side i didn’t see in Dean Winchester often.

“Dean” whispering, I pulling his face to look at me. “So am I, but I’m not going to stay in that house while your out here risking your life- I love you okay, I need you to trust me i have your back and I know you have mine” “what- what did you just say?” Dean stuttered but a smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. “I meant it” “I love you too- so fine, your my partner in life and this is my life” he told me finally giving in rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “Really?” I grinned almost getting emotional. No I was getting emotional, a tear fell onto deans thumb.

“Yes- I meant every word hun, especially about me having your back- seriously if anyone puts there hands on you I’ll kill them, bring them back from hell and repeat again and again” he whispered nodding his head. “Shut up” I laughed wiping my happy tears away. “But thank you Dean- you have no idea how much this means to me and I know it’s hard for you to let down your walls” I practically starting jumping on the spot making him laugh. “Anything for you angel- anything”

I leant up on my tiptoes to kiss the man. The man I was in love with. “What’s happening to me why have I turned soft” Dean laughed against my lips. “You haven’t gone completely soft” I giggled playing with the bottom of his hair. “Oh yes he has” Sam and cas appeared grinning at us as I leant my head on deans shoulder smiling happily.

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zepskies · 10 months ago

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Love, By Any Other Name

Pairing: Castiel x F. Reader

Summary: You want him. Castiel can’t help but crave you. Dean sees both of you and wishes you’d stop being idiots.

AN: This is my first ever commission! Written for @girlsforpjm, who requested "mutual pining" with Castiel. Here you go, lovely! I sincerely hope you enjoy it. 💜

**Also, this is set during season 12.

Song Inspo: “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak

Word Count: 4,500

Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, angst, blood and injury, (contains events from 12.12), fluff, some spice, implied smut.

“Achooo!!”

Sam grimaces while he watches you wipe your nose against your bare wrist. You shake your head and frown at the dusty tomes piled high beside you. You and Sam have been organizing the library for two hours now.

“That’s it, I can’t do this anymore,” you lament. “I need a break. My sinuses need a break.”

Sam’s lips twitch at a smile. “It’s okay. I got the rest of these.”

You aim a lazy salute at your friend and continue to sniffle as you leave the library. You circle this labyrinth of a bunker for a while, but you can’t seem to find the trench coat-wearing angel that’s supposed to live here too.

You end up in the garage, where Dean is tuning up his Baby. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, and he’s got a grease stain across his cheek.

“Hey, you seen Cas?” you ask.

Dean barely perks up from under Baby’s hood to answer you. “He went out this morning. Haven’t seen him since.”

You pout at that, leaning against the side of the car near where Dean is tinkering.

“Is it too much to ask for him to leave a note or something?” you mutter.

Dean finally glances over at you. His lips edge at a smirk.

“What, miss your little boyfriend?” he teases.

The insinuation manages to take you by surprise. Your face starts to warm in embarrassment, but you cover it with a scoff.

“You should know. He was your boyfriend first,” you volley back. Dean’s expression flattens in annoyance.

“Don’t you have anything better to do right now?” he snarks.

“Nope,” you reply, popping the “P.” But you have mercy on him.

Instead of pestering him further, you just tip over the screwdriver he had balanced on the car’s frame. He makes a sound of protest as it falls somewhere between the gears inside his precious car.

He barks your name, and his angry voice echoes on the walls to magnify his frustration, but you’re already hastening back into the hall and down to the kitchen, trying to stifle your laughter.

You’ve slipped into the kitchen to escape. Yet that’s where you find the bunker’s resident angel, washing his hands of what looks like breadcrumbs in the sink.

“Hey,” you greet him jovially. He treats you with a small smile. “Where were you?”

“Oh, nowhere really. Just stepped out for a bit,” he replies. You get the sense that he’s hiding something. You smile and step closer to him, leaning a hand on the counter.

“Oh, yeah? Where?” you ask. Your eyes gleam with amusement. “Another ‘mission on high?’”

He sends you a droll look. “No.”

You tug on his sleeve. “Come on. Tell me.”

He smiles in return, and he gives you his own version of teasing.

“Childishness doesn’t become you,” he says.

“I’m just curious. You’ve been gone all day,” you reply, tilting your head. Your stare is unyielding, and familiar; Cas knows how stubborn you can be when you want something—especially information. Sometimes he finds it annoying, but in moments like these, it’s tempered by your playful, endearing smile.

“I was on a walk,” he finally admits.

You raise your brows. “A walk? Cas, it’s winter. Like 20 degrees outside.”

“I enjoy nature,” he shrugs. “The cold doesn’t bother me much anyway.”

…Well, he is an angel. You suppose it makes sense that he doesn’t feel the frigid weather like a human would. Your brow quirks with another curious thought.

“So you were washing your hands because…?” you ask.

Castiel’s face becomes a little more bashful. “I was feeding the birds some bread.”

At that, your smile grows. Here he is: Castiel, warrior angel of the Lord, Feeder of Pigeons.

“Well, if you ever want a walking companion, I’d be happy to join you,” you offer.

Castiel gives you a certain look, like he doesn’t quite believe you.

Your lips purse. “What?”

He sinks his hands into his pockets as he leans his slightly hunched form back on his heels.

“Nothing,” he claims. “It’s only, I seem to remember you forcing Dean to kill a spider in your room. You claimed, and I quote, bastard things that crawl don’t belong indoors.”

You cross your arms and stare back at him narrowly, even though you try to stifle a smile.

“What’s your point? Everyone’s afraid of spiders,” you reason.

He raises a brow. “You also claim to have a vendetta against birds.”

“Pigeons, Castiel. They’re rats with wings.” Even Dean would agree with you on that one.

Castiel gives you a dubious look, however.

“Forgive me if I’m skeptical of your supposed love of nature,” he says drolly.

You want to argue more, but Sam enters the room with Dean on his heels. Both men seem to sense they’ve interrupted something. You clear your throat and turn to them.

“What’s up?” you ask, more nonchalant than you feel whenever you’re near the angel beside you. Castiel glances at you, before he too silently addresses Sam and Dean.

“Uh, we’ve caught a case,” Sam says. “It’s not far. Three dead, all with their hearts, and most of their internal organs ripped out.”

“Ech,” you reply with a grimace. “Sounds kind of like a ghoul. Maybe a werewolf on steroids?”

“Well, they were fresh kills, and it’s a full moon. So more than likely we’re looking at werewolves,” he replies.

You smile thinly. “Great.”

You hate werewolves.

Correction: you really hate werewolves.

The thought hits you yet again as you lay on the floor of a dusty old hunting cabin.

The irony.

Dean hefts you in his arms, after slicing his silver blade through the heart of the yellow-eyed bastard that tore you open with his claws.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” you ask, hating how your voice trembles. Dean doesn’t answer you at first. He holds his hand to the oozing gash in your side.

“Nah, you’ll be okay. Just hang in there,” he says. Blood quickly covers his palm. He curses inside his mind.

“Cas!” he calls out roughly.

The angel had been fighting in the other the room with Sam, but after he burns out the eyes of the last werewolf and its body falls to the ground, he hears the undercurrent of alarm in Dean’s shouting. With Sam on his heels, he returns to the living room to find you and Dean.

Castiel’s steps halt in the doorway when he sees you. His face slackens for a moment, but then he hardens. He moves forward swiftly.

“Move,” he says to Dean in order to come to your side. Dean’s eyes widen, but he does as he’s told after laying you down to the floor.

Castiel stares down at your face, offering you comfort with his eyes. You stare up at him in pain, but also with hope, and trust. You’re able to curl your fingers around the edge of his trench coat.

Then he presses his hand to your cheek. He closes his eyes in concentration while he heals you.

Though he expels more power than he should to heal you completely. He knows it when his body sways a little after he’s done. Dean grabs his shoulder to keep him steady.

“You good?” Dean asks.

Castiel nods; he’s more focused on the way you’re catching your breath. You marvel at how your wounds, your pain, and even your blood is gone—completely washed away. He helps you sit up with an arm wrapping around your shoulders. Then he gathers you tight against him, so he can help you stand as well. He wavers again on his feet, just a little, but you’re too perceptive not to catch it. You realize he did too much to save you.

You still chide at him with a frown. “You didn’t have to use up so much of your energy.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Think nothing of it.”

Those are useless words, but you don’t bother arguing with him anymore. You just sigh and hold onto his strong arms while regaining your balance. You know for a fact that you’re blushing when you glance up at him.

Biting your lip, you soon turn away to grab the knife you’d dropped in the fight.

Without you or Cas noticing, Sam and Dean share a knowing glance. It’s subtle, in the way the brothers have perfected. Dean barely curbs a smile as he leads the way back to the car.

You settle next to Cas in the backseat and try not to glance at him too often. You don’t know that he’s trying not to do the same to you.

Dean glances back at you two in the rearview mirror. He shakes his head.

Idiots.

Mary Winchester has been a welcome return to the family…when she’s here. Ever since Amara brought her back, she’s been distant with her sons. You don’t understand it all that well, but it’s not your place to say anything, you don’t think.

You do think Mary is a badass hunter. You just don’t know her that well.

About a week after the werewolf hunt, Mary drops in with Wally, a fellow hunter in need of assistance with a demon problem. You, Sam, Dean, and Castiel are all game. While you haven’t had to deal with demons too much in the past, you know that they’re…something of a specialty for the Winchesters.

But of course, it quickly goes to shit.

The demon lives alone, in some shack by a river where he likes to fish. The group of you wait until he’s stepped out of the house before you go inside and case the place, looking for a good spot to spray a Devil’s Trap or two and try to trap him.

When the demon returns, he’s far stronger than any of you anticipated. The Devil’s Trap breaks with little effort (the demon’s just laughing). Then he flashes yellow eyes. You and Castiel share a look of widening shock. Mary takes a preemptive step back.

And when the kitchen door is about to close on the three of you, the angel pushes you into the next room before you can turn and fight. Sam helps you back onto your feet, though you stare at the door in horror. He and Dean try to break the door down, but it’s no use. It’s supernaturally sealed.

You felt useless standing there. You wrack your brain for a solution, and you glance out one of the windows. Maybe there’s another way into the kitchen!

“Guys! What if we go around?” you suggest.

With that idea taking root in each of you, Sam and Dean follow you outside. Before you guys can even make it around the house, Wally flags you down.

“We’ve got incoming!” he says. And you realize what he means. A group of black-eyed demons are bounding toward the house.

Aw, shit. You’re grateful to have Sam and Dean beside you, because the demons nearly overtake all of you. You manage to hold your own, along with the brothers. Wally isn’t so fortunate. His body hits the floor after his own blade sinks into his chest.

A pit begins to form in your stomach as you scramble toward the Impala. The plan is to catch up with Mary; thanks to Cas, she’d been able to flee the demon strong enough to snap a Devil’s Trap like a cheap trick. But she’d then taken Cas with her to safety.

Now, Dean drives the Impala down the road at breakneck speed.

“Are you okay?” Sam asks his mother through the phone. The car is silent enough for you to hear Mary’s reply.

“…No.”

When you step into the barn, the first thing you have to focus on is Cas covered in his own blood. He’s been stabbed by one of the demon’s strange and powerful weapons, and he lies on an old, dingy couch. You hurry to Cas’s side and take in, your face filled with horror, though you try and fail to mask it.

You reach out a hand, but you hesitate to touch him. Suffering is written across his face. He tries to stifle sounds of pain out of habit.

Tears are fresh in your eyes as you look down at him in dismay. You chance laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Can you heal yourself?” you ask.

“No,” he answers eventually. “I think the demon’s spear was poisoned. I think I’m…”

No, your lower lip trembles as you shake your head.

“No,” you repeat aloud. “You just need time.”

You turn to Dean, who’s approached from behind you. But you quickly turn back to Cas, as if you’ll miss out on precious few moments. Castiel’s furrowed gaze tells you he’d rather not have you see him like this, but you don’t care. There’s no way you’re leaving his side.

The weapon that was able to do this to him was the Lance of Michael, you all discover, when Crowley suddenly appears. He also informs you all that this is no ordinary demon. It’s Ramiel, Prince of Hell. You don’t give a shit about the specifics of how Crowley is wrapped up in this.

All you care about is if there’s a cure to Cas’s wounds. Crowley’s only words of wisdom are to leave the angel behind and run as fast as you can.

He disappears before you can spit at him.

“Cas, how bad is it?” Dean asks, after the King of Hell predictably makes a run for it.

Castiel opened up his shirt collar to reveal a spiderweb of black crackling across his clammy skin, slowly breaking down his vessel.

“Crowley’s right. You should go.”

Your hand tightens on his shoulder. “Cas—”

“No, listen to me,” he says, staring into your eyes. He continues with difficulty. “Look…thank you. Thank you. Knowing you all, it’s been the best part of my life. The things we’ve shared together, they have changed me… You’re my family, and I love you.”

His gaze had fallen on you, making your breath hitch. But his dark blue eyes travel to Sam and Dean next, and even Mary.

“I love all of you.” The angel is the closest to tears and heartbreak that you’ve ever seen him. He struggles to hold himself together, in more ways than one. “Just, please, please don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run, and save yourselves, and I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.”

You’re shaking your head before he even finishes the sentence. Tears pour down your cheeks in silent streams, but you still hold him down when he tries to force his body to sit up. He doesn’t have the strength to resist you encouraging him to lie back down.

Dean voices what you’re all thinking.

No. None of you would cut and run and leave him to die, no matter what Cas says.

“Like you said, we’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.”

Ramiel comes for all of you, specifically for his stolen weapon. Killing the rest of you would just be an added bonus.

But while the four of you manage to pin down the demon with holy fire and a good fight, it’s Sam who manages to stab the Prince of Hell with Michael’s Lance, killing him in flash of brilliant light and rendering his body to ash.

Of course, that’s when Crowley arrives once again, late holding his proverbial Starbucks. In this case, what would’ve been a mocha frappe is actually the Lance—and Crowley breaks it in half. It somehow reverses the curse of the blade, and therefore frees Castiel.

He’s able to heal himself back to a full recovery.

But also, rather predictably, Crowley disappears again before you all can recover yourselves.

Sam and Dean help the angel back onto his feet. His clothes are still covered in blood, but his skin is clear and no longer clammy, his eyes no longer bloodshot. He’s shocked to still be alive, and you can barely contain yourself. Tears stream down your face as you surprise him with a hug.

Cas releases an oof, his body wavering just slightly before he plants his feet and wraps his arms around you. His hold tightens around your smaller frame, and he chances resting his chin on the top of your head.

“So…you’re good?” Mary asks incredulously.

Castiel raises his gaze to answer her. “I guess I am.”

You’re quiet for the rest of the drive home. Mary had taken her own car for the hunt, so it leaves you once again in the backseat with Castiel.

He finds your silence perturbing, though he doesn’t have the courage to ask you what’s wrong. Despite his full recovery, you still seem upset somehow.

Part of him wants to reach out to you…but he stops himself. He also reminds himself not to stare at you. Instead, he turns his head back out the window. You felt his gaze on your profile, but you resolve to keep yours stubbornly out of your own window.

The only one who notices the exchange, yet again through the rearview mirror, is Dean. His lips firm into a thoughtful frown.

Home, sweet home, you think wryly when you enter the bunker.

You give into the urge to beeline straight for your room without even turning your head.

Sam and Mary follow suit, which leaves Castiel hesitating in the hall. Dean takes pity on him and claps his shoulder.

“You okay, man?” he asks. Cas is staring after you like a man who’s lost his way.

“She’s…upset,” he replies, both confused and bothered by that fact.

Dean’s lips twitch humorlessly. “Yeah, well, you almost died.”

“Yes,” Cas gives a wry nod. “But she seems upset at me.”

Dean has to smile for real. It’s plain as day what’s on his friend’s mind, and why. Just like it’s obvious as hell (at least to him) why you’re probably “upset.” As always, Dean takes up the role of wingman.

“Why don’t you just go talk to her then?” he suggests.

Castiel hesitates. He’s not sure if he’d be intruding on you. The emotions of human women are foreign to him. They always have been, even when he was human, not so long ago. But he trusts Dean’s advice on these things.

So, he eventually nods. He means to follow you, but Dean stops him for a moment with a hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe after you, uh, wash your clothes. Take a shower. Maybe shave a little,” he says, brushing his fingers over his own chin. “But uh, keep a little scruff. Some chicks dig that.”

“Shave my facial hair, but…keep my facial hair?” Cas tries to clarify.

Dean blinks at his friend. Christ.

“Okay, look, just clean yourself up,” he says. “You’ll be fine.”

With one last clap on the back, Dean disappears down the hall to his room. It leaves Castiel feeling somewhat unbalanced, but he treks the other way.

Normally he would restore his clothes with his powers, but he’d used up his reserves just to heal himself. There was a time when his connection to heaven was enough to do more than heal his own injuries. Now, however, both he and heaven itself are in a lesser state.

Shaking his head, he goes down to the laundry room. He still remembers how to wash his own clothing.

He unintentionally finds you there in the laundry room. You’ve peeled away your jacket that had been stained with his blood, and you’re tossing it into the machine. It leaves you in a thin shirt and jeans.

Castiel finds himself admiring your form; the familiar curve of your face, the shade of your hair, the outline of your bra through your shirt (which he tries not to notice), and the other curves that he has to often felt guilty for tracing with his eyes…and imagining with his hands.

You look up when he enters the room.

He knocks himself out of his thoughts and freezes, a bit uncertain.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he offers.

You just shake your head. “It’s okay.”

Your eyes roam over him then, from head to toe. It makes his face feel a bit warm.

“You want me to throw that coat in with mine?” you ask, pointing over to him. Cas examines his bloody trench coat.

“I’m not sure there’s any saving it, but we can try,” he says. He peels off the coat and allows you to throw it into the watching machine along with your bloody clothing.

“Your shirt’s white, so you should wash that separately,” you advise.

“I know,” he says, with a faint smile. “I, uh, I remember.”

You begin to regain some of your normal self, glancing at him with more warmth in your eyes.

“Do you ever miss being human?” you ask. Cas draws closer to you. He rests a hand near yours, where you lean on the dryer.

“There were some enjoyable aspects. Food, in particular,” he admits. “Now if I try to take a bite of a sandwich, it’s just…molecules, really.”

You wince in sympathy. “God, I don’t know how I could go through life without being able to enjoy another Snickers bar.”

He nods in agreement. He remembers chocolate well.

“But it wasn’t just the taste. It was the feeling of satiety. Sometimes, being uncomfortably full was quite satisfying,” he says. That makes you smile.

But it soon drops when you take in the disgusting state of his shirt. Unbidden, it reminds you of every horrific thing that happened tonight. You really can’t bear it.

“Okay, give me that,” you gesture at the shirt.

You start to unbutton it before he’s really ready for you, but he tries to get over his embarrassment by removing his tie. Meanwhile, you undo the buttons of his shirt while trying not to think too hard about what you’re really doing as you start to see flashes of his skin, from chest to sternum.

He takes a peek at your face.

“Are you angry?” he asks.

Your brows are furrowed, but this time more in confusion when you look up at him.

“No. Why?”

Cas’s brows furrow. “It feels like you’re angry…at me.”

The hasty motions of your hands calm at that. You consider him with a frown. Maybe you are a little upset at him. It’s not really fair, you know, but it’s how you feel. You blow out a sigh.

“I just… After everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve done for us, how could you think for one second that we would leave you there alone? Alone to die?” you ask. It renders Castiel a bit stunned into silence.

Your grip tightens on the now open edges of his shirt.

“Look, that situation was bad enough. But if you ever try to push me away like that again…”

You’re unable to finish that thought. You become waylaid by your own tears as emotion clogs your throat and threatens to choke you.

Castiel raises a hand to touch your face, tentatively at first, then more comforting. He brushes his thumb across your cheek, catching the tears there.

“I wasn’t trying to push you away,” he confesses. “I was trying to save you…because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, even as I lay dying.”

You hold onto his hand. Biting your lower lip, you find enough courage to meet his eyes. They’ve lowered to your lips, you realize, though maybe Cas doesn’t. He seems a bit surprised when you lean up towards him.

You go more slowly. Your hand falls on his warm chest. For God’s sake, do something, you tell yourself.

You don’t know if he can pick up on your thoughts as well with your bodies touching this close, but he seems to have an internal battle of his own. You each make a decision at the same time.

It has you leaning up the rest of the way, and Castiel bending down to meet your kiss.

He gathers you closer; one hand finds its way into your tangled hair, while the other grasps your hip and brings you flush against him. Your hands move up his chest and wind around his neck. He holds you tightly against him as his lips claim yours, over and over with increasing urgency.

He turns you in his arms and hefts you up onto the dryer machine. There he gets even more leverage to kiss you the way he has secretly imagined, to touch you the way he’s too often craved, with his hands warming up and down your thighs.

You utter a moan of longing as you hold his face. You like the scrape of his stubble against your palms. You can almost imagine that delightful tingling against otherplaces down your body. Places you’d like him to explore when you have more privacy…

Or maybe here is privacy enough.

You alternatively tangle and tug your fingers through his hair. And it’s his turn to moan when you take his lower lip between your teeth, scraping just hard enough to be both painful and delightful.

He squeezes your thighs in retaliation. It prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him even closer. Your dirty boots cross behind his back.

But soon, his touch gentles, more tender than demanding as he slows the kiss. His lips veer from yours and burn a path across your jawline, down the smooth column of your neck.

It allows you to catch your breath, but the feeling of his gentle lips and rough cheek just turns you on even more. You card your fingers through his hair and close your eyes.

“Cas,” you breathe in content.

He hesitates, with his lips on your neck. “Yes?”

You blink for a moment, but then you have to giggle. You twine your arms around his neck and hold him close.

“Nothing,” you reply. Your smile says it all though. Cas sees it when he pulls away a bit, turning his gaze back to you. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand.

“I didn’t think feelings such as this…desires like this, would affect me after I became an angel again.”

Your smile brightens, even as you blush. “Does that make me special?”

“Yes,” he replies, with a soft smile. “But for many more, and far better reasons than that.”

Your eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. You bite the edge of your lower lip, but Cas’s thumb swiping across encourages you to release it.

“When you said that you loved me,” you say, a little shakily, “did you just mean…in the family sense?”

Castiel meets your eyes, and there he finds his courage.

“Yes,” he says. “And no.”

With another one of those smiles he’s come to love, you bring him back in for a kiss. All too soon, it becomes hungrier, rougher, born of passion and secret desires finally spilling free.

“Wait,” you pant against his lips, taking his hands in yours. “Come with me.”

Anywhere, his heart says.

But after you jump down from the dryer, you tug him by the hand out of the laundry room. After a quick scan of the hallway, you give him a playful little smile and lead him down to your room.

Castiel can’t help but smile in return. He follows your lead in more ways than one when the door to your bedroom shuts behind you both.

You help him shrug off his tattered shirt, and he helps you out of yours next, followed swiftly by the belt buckle on his slacks.

In that moment, and many moments after, you’re grateful for door locks. You just hope the Winchesters aren’t dumb enough to interrupt what you have planned next for your angel…

Because it might just take all night.

AN: I haven't written for Castiel in a long time, but I had fun with this. 🥰 I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know what you think. 😘

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