#bc my bias is sam

[saltcxrcle]

girls i've never tried ── . ✶ jo harvelle

summary: the two of you were just best friends, right? but then why did jo want to kiss you every time she saw you?

pairings: bi! jo harvelle x bi! reader, jo harvelle x fem!reader, mentioned prev dean x reader, slight implied deanjoノ wc: 4.4k warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, no use of 'y/n', best friends to lovers, jealousy, making out, smut, lots of praise, oral (both receiving), fingering, slightly dom!reader and sub!jo, pet names (baby, honey, pretty girl, good girl, baby girl)<- mostly used by reader, title is a lyric from naked in manhattan by chappell roan which the fic is loosely based on, kinda edited; all mistakes my own a/n: its a crime that there isn't more gay fics for jo so here i am doing my due diligence and providing you guys some jo smut for all of my bi girlies (gn) and lesbians that love jo lol also idk how not yap in my fics lmao but enjoy! jo harvelle masterlist

JO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE BEING WITH A GIRL. 

More specifically, she wanted to know what it would be like to be with her best friend, you. It was a thought that always crossed her mind, even when she was younger, and the two of you were messing around in her room, giggling at something you guys were reading in a magazine. 

You were her best friend ever since her father died, and your parents had shown up at the Roadhouse to offer their condolences to Ellen when they heard the news. You were a bit older than her but shot her a kind smile that made her stomach flip when you told her that you liked her Sleeping Beauty shirt. 

You practically grew up with Jo and Ellen, and your parents would leave you with her as they went on hunts, so the two of you stuck by each other like glue. Ellen called the pair of you “two peas in a pod.” 

Jo loved how quick-witted you were and how willing you were to teach her about hunting (even if her mom hated that your parents started taking you on hunts when you were just sixteen). But she saw less of you as you went on hunts with your parents before you started to go on your hunts after they had retired. 

You would stop by the Roadhouse occasionally when you could or when you were passing by, never failing to fill Jo in on the hunts you went on or which monsters you had killed in the time that you hadn’t seen her or Ellen. 

She remembers the time right before you stopped coming by as often, telling her how you lost your virginity to this guy named Dean, who had these bright green eyes and plush lips that felt so soft against yours. You mentioned that he was another hunter, and Jo had to bury the little green monster that she felt clawing at her chest as you detailed the experience. 

Jo didn’t know why she was jealous that guy got to be your first, but she chalked it up to not having been able to lose her virginity yet since everyone else around her was, including her best friend. 

But her jealousy almost always took center stage when you came around the Roadhouse and slept over, telling her about the men and women that you would hook up with on the road. Jo would have a fake smile plastered on her face because, apparently, she was a masochist when it came to you and asked you if you had met someone while on a hunt. 

It was only when she saw you flirting with a girl at the bar when you were helping Ellen and Jo out for the night—pouring and serving drinks to the patrons in the Roadhouse. 

God, I wish I was her. Jo thought as she saw you send the girl you were flirting with a sultry smile before the realization hit her like a bolt of lighting, 

Jo knew that she liked men. She just didn’t realize that she also liked women until she saw you wrap your arm around the girl’s waist, sending Jo a wink before the two of you sauntered out of the place once it was closing time. 

Now, it had been a couple of months since she had seen you, and the Winchesters were like a tornado, storming into the Roadhouse and effectively taking you off of her mind. Jo thought she was getting somewhere with Dean even though something about him seemed familiar to her, but she ignored it as she talked to him and refilled his whiskey. 

The door opened to the Roadhouse, and Jo didn’t look up from wiping down the bar, but Dean did, a smile appearing on his face as he saw you walk through the entrance. 

“Well, I’ll be damned, Winchester, didn’t think you knew this place.” You smirked at the sight of the Winchester brothers as you walked over to the bar. 

Jo’s eyes snapped up from what she was doing, her gaze trained on you as you gave Sam a quick side hug as a greeting. 

Dean grabbed your waist and tucked you into his side.  “It’s a small world for us hunters isn’t it?.” Dean joked as he squeezed your arm. “The only reason we come back is because the service is great here.” Dean winked at Jo. 

Jo’s eyes were lasered in on Dean’s arm around you. The familiarity of the gesture wasn’t lost on her. 

You chuckled at Dean’s words.“ You aren’t wrong there Dean.” 

You turned to face your best friend. “Hi Joey!” You greeted Jo with a bright smile. 

“You know the Winchesters?” Jo asked instead of saying hi back to you. 

You nodded, noting the bluntness of her tone, but you would talk to her later. “Yep, ran into Dean a long time ago, but ran into these two on that hunt with the revenant I told you about a while back.” 

Something clicked in Jo’s brain. This was the Dean that had taken your virginity all those years ago. The same Dean she thought she was interested in. Fuck. Of course, out of all people, it had to be him. God must hate me. She thought as she swallowed hard. 

“Ah, I remember now.” She sent you a tight smile. “Did you want your usual?” 

You looked down at your watch. “Not all that into day drinking, I’ll take a root beer though.” 

Jo nodded and went to the mini fridge below the bar to grab the root beer that you only drank when you weren’t feeling up to alcohol. She ignored the rush of relief that went through her when you finally pulled away from Dean’s side as you sat on the barstool in between Sam and Dean. Jo also ignored how her heart rate picked up when your fingers brushed against hers as she handed you your drink. 

The four of you fell into a conversation, but Jo barely participated. Witnessing the rapport between you and the Winchesters made her skin crawl as comfortable exchanges of touches between you and Dean made her burn with jealousy. Jealous of who? Jo could barely tell anymore. 

Sam noticed how quiet Jo was and how she was staring intently at you and Dean. He didn’t know what her problem was today. Still, regardless of her sudden silence, he tried to involve her in the conversation as best he could. Still, she gave short answers, which made you raise an eyebrow at her. 

But before you could question her attitude, customers started to file in, and the evening rush began for the Roadhouse. You decided to help out, hopping behind the bar and making drinks for the boys and other patrons. You had tried to talk to Jo in between serving and making drinks, but she managed to avoid you by going around, taking orders, and going to the kitchen. 

You huffed but let it go, figuring that something else earlier in the day had set her off. Sam and Dean left right before closing, promising you that they would text you if they needed help on their next hunt. Soon after they left, you made the last call before the Roadhouse closed. 

Once everything was cleaned up, Jo was nowhere to be seen, and you sighed. That girl was moody, and you were going to find out why. 

You quickly made your way to Jo’s room and found her sitting at her vanity, already dressed for bed and beginning to pull her hair up. 

“So, are you going to tell me what crawled up your ass and died?” You asked Jo as you leaned against her door frame. 

You heard her scoff. “It’s nothing.” 

“It doesn’t sound like “nothing”.” You kicked off of her door frame, toeing your boots off before walking further into her room and sitting on her bed. “Come on Jo, talk to me! You barely spoke to me today.” 

Jo said your name tiredly. “It’s just been a long day.” 

“Then it’s the perfect time to talk about it.” 

“I’d rather not right now.” Jo’s words came out clipped as she stood up from her vanity, aiming to go to the other side of her room to pull out socks from her dresser. 

But before she could, you grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. You stood up from the bed and tried to meet her eyes. 

“Jo, please, talk to me.” You pleaded softly. You could tell something was bothering her, and you just wanted to know what it was. “Is it because I didn’t check for a while?”

She shook her head, looking away from you. Jo debated on what to tell you. “Why didn’t you tell me that Dean Winchester was the guy that took your virginity?” 

“What?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other until today. Besides, why does that matter? That happened so long ago.” 

Jo couldn’t look at you, biting her bottom lip. She didn’t want to admit to anything she wasn’t ready to face head-on. She ripped her wrist from your grip. 

“I told you it’s nothing. Can you just leave it?” Jo went back on her path towards her dresser, but you blocked her from even taking a step. 

“No, because I’m trying to talk to my best friend but she won’t even give me the time of day right now.” 

“And that’s my problem!” Jo’s outburst shocked you, your stomach dropping to your ass. 

A tense silence settled between you and her. 

“What do you mean?” You whispered. 

Jo sighed. “You’ve always been my best friend. But seeing you with Dean today, set me off.” 

“I-i do you like Dean? Is that why you’ve been acting short with me?” You swallowed thickly. 

You’ve always liked Jo ever since you realized that you like both girls and boys but kept that hidden from her—never once getting the vibe that she swung both ways. You liked Dean, but he was like your best friend, and you both had agreed that the first time was fun, but that time would be the only time the two of you would hook up. 

“No. I don’t think I do. All I know is that I was jealous that Dean got to have you and I-” Jo shut her mouth before she admitted her feelings for you. But the damage was already done. 

“And you what?” Your heart started to pound in your chest. “You cannot leave me hanging here Jo.” 

Jo bit her bottom lip, your gaze straying to her lips before you met her brown eyes once more. 

“I wished that I could have you in the same way Dean did.” Jo’s words were quiet, but they sounded deafening to your ears. 

You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your lips. “You could, you know?” 

“What?” Jo’s head was spinning at your words but also at the sight of the sly smile on your face. Her breath hitched as you stepped closer to her, your warm hands landing on her waist. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time Jo. If you wanted to sleep with me, you could have just asked, you know?” 

Jo’s heart felt like it could escape from out of her chest cavity. “I like you too. I wasn’t sure if it was in a friendly way or not.” 

You smiled at her as you leaned closer to Jo. “Well I’m glad it isn’t. Can I kiss you pretty girl?” Your breath was fanning over her lips, rubbing your nose against her as you saw her pretty brown eyes flutter. 

“Yes.” Her voice was breathy and filled with want. 

You wasted no time pressing your lips against Jo’s. Her lips were so soft and pliant as they moved against yours. You couldn’t help but push your lips against hers harder, pouring all of the years of secret yearning into it. 

Jo moaned against your lips, wrapping her arms around your neck as you pushed her backward until her knees hit the edge of her bed. Jo fell backward, breaking the kiss the two of you were sharing. She shuddered at the sight of your dark eyes, filled with desire, as you drank in the sight of her slightly swollen lips. 

Jo was dressed in some pajama shorts with a tight, long-sleeve shirt, and you could tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra, her nipples showing through the thin fabric. You internally groaned at the sight, but you crawled on top of the bed, making her crawl up it until her head hit her pillows. 

You hovered over her, cupping Jo’s face with one of your hands as you took in how the warm lighting from her lamp highlighted her features. “You’re so pretty.” You breathed out. 

Jo blushed at your praise, making you grin at the sight of her reddening cheeks. You leaned down and kissed her again—wanting to feel her soft lips against yours once more. Her kisses were addictive, and you were so sure that the taste of her would have you hooked on her indefinitely. 

You took the lead, swiping your tongue at the seam of Jo’s lips and groaning softly when you felt her tongue shyly dance with yours. Shit, she was so sweet, and you were going to have fun with her. 

Your free hand started to roam, cupping her breast through her shirt, squeezing it slightly. She let out the cutest squeak against your mouth, making you chuckle. 

“Is this okay?” You asked when you pulled away from her now swollen lips. 

“Yeah.” Jo answered with a small pant to her words. 

You ducked your head down, planting small kisses on her jaw before trailing down and nipping at the soft skin of her neck. Jo’s hands grabbed your biceps, squeezing as she let out the softest moan like she was afraid to be loud. The sound sent a wave of arousal through you and made you nip harder at her neck. 

“Don’t be afraid to be loud. Wanna hear you, honey.” You murmured into her skin, and you made your way to her collarbone, moving your hand from her breast and pulling the collar of her already low-cut shirt to suck at her chest. 

Jo continued to let out breathy moans, but they were louder this time around, and it was like music to your ears. The hand that was on her cheek moved to play with the hem of her shorts, but she grabbed your wrist. 

You looked at Jo, pulling away from her chest to look at her, her eyes wide and filled with nerves. 

“I-I’ve never been with a girl before.” 

Something inside of you purred at her words. This was a little archaic, but you were glad that you were going to be the first girl that she’d have sex with. 

“S’fine. Just relax, I’ll take care of you pretty girl.” You promised. 

Jo swallowed thickly before nodding. You kissed her softly, your hands tugging at the hem of her shirt. She got the memo and raised her arms up as you took off her shirt, exposing her bare chest to you. 

She resisted the urge to hide from your reverent stare. “God, you’re gorgeous Jo. So, so pretty.” You couldn’t help but praise her—pressing soft kisses down her chest and stomach before your lips hit the hem of her shorts. 

“Can I take these off?” Your fingers were hooked on the waistband of her shorts. 

She nodded again. But you shook your head. 

“I need words baby.” 

“Yes, you can take them off.” Jo’s words were rushed, clearly eager—any previous shyness dissipated as arousal flooded her veins. 

“Good girl.” You said before pulling her shorts, along with her underwear, down her legs, exposing her cunt to the cool air of the room. 

“Fuck.” You cursed at the sight of Jo’s bare center. There was a small patch of dark blonde hair at her pubic bone, and it was the most amazing sight you’ve ever seen. 

You settled between her open legs, your gaze on Jo’s cunt. Jo saw the hunger in your eyes, and she felt like you could devour her whole. She shivered in anticipation as your hands gripped her thighs. 

“Always knew you were going to have a pretty pussy. Bet it looks as good as it tastes.” You pressed teasing kisses to Jo’s inner thighs. She almost squirmed at the feeling—her hands grabbing at her sheets, wanting to feel your mouth on her. 

You leaned in closer to her pussy—it was practically glistening in the low light as you blew cool air on it, making Jo’s cunt clench around nothing. You laughed lightly at the small squeak that Jo made. Her hips canted forward—Jo wanted, no, needed to feel your mouth devouring her. 

“Did you need something baby?” You looked up from her wet slit to meet the pleading brown gaze of Jo. God, you hadn’t done anything, and she already looked fucked out. 

Jo whined. “Please.” She whispered. 

“Please what?” You knew you were being a bit mean, teasing her like this but it was too hard not to. “I need to hear you say it baby.” 

“Please put your mouth on me.” 

You grinned against her inner thigh, planting another kiss there. “My mouth is on you baby. You gotta be more specific.” 

Jo almost growled in frustration, her hand moving from the bed to grab the back of your head and shove you closer to her leaking cunt. “Need your mouth on my pussy.” 

“Wasn’t that easy?” You said before licking a wide strip from her slit to her clit. 

Jo let out a pleasured sigh from the feeling of your tongue finally on her aching cunt. You softly licked at her, swirling your tongue around her sensitive clit before wrapping your lips around it, suckling at the bundle of nerves softly. 

Moans left her pretty mouth, her noises spurring you on to continue your mission to get her to come around your mouth. You ate her out messily, uncaring of her slick getting all over your chin and mouth. She tasted so good. A mix of tang and musk flooded your senses as you licked at her slit, your nose buried in the soft hair at the top of her mound. 

Your dominant hand left her thigh as you pulled away from her. A little whine left her mouth in the midst of her moans. Your hand made its way to run through her wet fold, slicking up your fingers. 

“That feels good honey?” You nipped at her thigh, rubbing at her clit with your slicked-covered fingertips.  

“Uh huh.” Jo nodded furiously, her hair mussing up from the action. 

You slapped at her clit lightly, making her hip twitch at the sensation. “Words.” You reminded Jo before prodding at her entrance with your middle finger. 

“Yes! Feels so good, please.” Jo didn’t know what she was pleading for. All she knew was that she wanted to come. 

You didn’t respond, letting your finger slip into her warm pussy and feeling her gummy walls contract around it. Your mouth sealed around her clit again as your finger slowly moved in her. It didn’t take long for Jo’s moans to fill the room again. You could feel your underwear sticking to your absolutely drenched cunt, but you kept your focus on Jo, wanting to wring any and all bit of pleasure out of her. 

Your middle finger was soon joined by your ring finger. “S’tight baby. Can barely move my fingers with how hard you’re clenching around them.” 

Your words filled Jo’s lower belly with heat as her hips moved in tandem with your fingers, meeting your slow thrusts. 

Jo could feel the familiar burn building through her body when she thought of this very moment with her own fingers buried in her pussy alone in her room. 

“You’re close aren’t you? Can feel you clench around my fingers, you gonna come for me?” Your fingers found the spongy spot that she could never find herself and made a come hither motion, brushing against the spot each time your fingers moved in and out of her. 

Jo’s moans became higher and more frequent, and she was so close to cumming. But she was still missing something, and you could tell. You sealed your lips against her swollen clit and sucked hard. Jo let out a moan that almost sounded like a wail as she clenched around your fingers, gushing all over them and your face as heat filled her body and stars danced behind her eyes. 

You worked her through her orgasm, removing your fingers when her walls stopped clenching around them, and your tongue gently moved through her sensitive folds. You pressed one last kiss to her clit before trailing your lips up her soft skin, hovering over her and petting at her hair. 

“There she is.” You said before dipping down and kissing her tenderly. Jo thought it would be weird to taste herself on her lips, but if anything, it spurred her on. She pressed her lips hard against yours as her hands pawed at your shirt, wanting it off. You laughed at her eagerness and broke the kiss to help her take it off. 

Soon enough, you found yourself naked and in Jo’s position—on your back as she was hovering over you and squeezing at your breasts as she kissed you. You moaned in her mouth as she pinched at your nipples before she tore her mouth away from you and moved down your neck and chest. 

Jo made her way down your body, the lust-fueled confidence slowly ebbing away when she was in between your legs and staring at your bare center. There was a hunger in her brown gaze, but it was overshadowed by nerves and hesitancy. 

“Hey.” You called at her softly, sitting up and cupping her face. “Do whatever feels right.” 

“But what if-” 

“You’ll do fine, baby.” You cut her off. “I’ll guide you if you need it okay?” Your thumb swiped at her cheek before kissing her softly as reassurance. 

Jo melted into the kiss before you broke it. You sent her a tender smile before laying back and moving your hands to her hair, pushing the blonde strands out of her face. 

Jo took a deep breath before settling in between your legs. She decided to mirror what you did to her, pressing kisses to your inner thighs before reaching your clit and kissing it. A quiet moan left your lips, spurring Jo on. 

She pressed a more demanding kiss to your clit before her tongue darted out and licked at it. Another moan left your lips, and Jo decided to go for it, using her tongue to swipe through your slit and taste you fully. 

“Ah, doing so well Jo.” You praised as she sucked at your clit, her doe-like eyes looking up at you sent another bolt of pleasure straight to your pussy. 

You could tell that she was inexperienced with her tongue, but she made up for it in eagerness. Your hands were wound in her hair, nails scratching at her scalp—making her moan against your cunt. The vibrations felt delicious against your cunt, and you couldn’t help but grind against her face. 

“Jo baby, use your fingers like I did.” You ordered breathlessly. 

Jo complied, bringing her slender fingers to your spit–slicked entrance and slipped one of them in. 

“Another one baby, please.” You were wet enough that you didn’t need to be prepped. Jo slipped another one in you, and you sighed at the feeling of being filled by her fingers. 

“Okay, use your pretty mouth on my clit and move your fingers like this,” You directed Jo, simulating the motion you did for her. 

Jo nodded and started to put your instructions to use. She sucked and licked at your swollen clit and moved her fingers inside of you. You were letting out moans and whines, praises spilling from your lips. 

Jo keened at the praise, doubling down on your pussy. Her ministrations were enthusiastic, a little uncoordinated, but it was still bringing you closer to the edge. You would let Jo practice on you whenever she wanted. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me come.” 

Jo really wanted to make you feel good as you made her feel. She shook her head, moving her fingers faster, brushing against your g-spot. 

“Shit! Doing so well f’me baby girl, keep going. So so close.” You moaned out, pushing her face further into your cunt. Jo kept at her pace, feeling your walls clenching and twitching around her fingers. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You came hard around Jo’s fingers and mouth. Jo continued at her pace, working you through your orgasm, and you had to push Jo away from you as she continued to move her fingers inside of you and licking at your pussy, bordering overstimulation. 

“Come here.” You beckoned, sitting up and meeting Jo in the middle, pulling her into a filthy kiss. 

“Did so well baby girl, haven’t come that hard in a while.” You praised her as you pulled away and caressed her sides. 

Jo flushed at your praise and smiled at you. She kissed you again before worry flared up inside of her. 

“This isn’t a one time thing for you is it?” Jo asked as she broke the kiss. 

You pulled her down to lay beside you. You were facing her, your hand resting on the side of her neck. “No it’s not.” You reassured her. “M’not letting you go now that I have you. Is it for you?” 

Jo breathed out a sigh of relief before shaking her head. “No, never was.” 

You sent her a dazzling smile, making her heart almost skip a beat. Jo couldn’t help but smile back at you before you kissed her, but the two of you were still smiling so wide that it could barely qualify as a kiss. 

The two of you never wanted to leave the blissful bubble of her room. The rest of the night was filled with soft caresses and quiet conversation about your hunts—a warmth settled in both yours and Jo’s chest. Everything felt right. and Jo couldn’t help but think she wanted to stay like this with you forever. Little did she know you were thinking the exact same thing. 

[winchesterian]

stan language has really done a number on fandom discussions

[you-know-cchio]

here's my 100% Objectively Correct ranking of all the longforms

ive created a SFTH longform tier list if anybody wants to rank them for whatever reason! the patreon ones are on there too but if ive missed any please lmk

[the-mpreg-guy]

sometimes i worry i'm being a misogynist when i get angry at mary about some of her actions during season 12 (i dont hate her i just think shes very complex and i am biased bc of my own hang ups with my family) and its like. god i kind of wish there was an easy answer to who is right during season 12 bc sometimes people want dean to be fully wrong or mary to be fully wrong and i just dont think either is completely wrong or right.

For the record, I don't think you're a misogynist for having a bias you're fully aware of and not making other ppls problem. Mary Winchester is a complicated character for me, because on the one hand I do think she's a very complex human and that bringing her back on the show opened new doors for interesting relationship dynamics and plotlines, but on the other hand I was cursed with incredibly messed up Mommy issues that just make her unenjoyable for me personally.

I think a lot of cognitive dissonance that people (me) experience regarding Mary's insertion in the late seasons of Supernatural have to do with how the narrative seemingly punishes Dean for wanting incredibly valid things. He wants another adult to shoulder the burden, he wants a parent around who isn't going to neglect his emotional needs or put protecting Sammy solely to him. Mary diminishes these wants, basically chalking his desires down to him wanting a mother who "cuts the crusts off his sandwiches" and like. Man, that's not what he was asking for. He just wants her there.

And we're all incredibly attached to Dean at this point (we're at 12 seasons and counting after all), so we look at the narrative (and other characters) punishing Dean for these very valid, realistic wants, and are like. Wow, Mary Winchester sucks.

And honestly that's a fair assessment of the situation. She's not being a great mom, she's not being fair to either of her kids, and she is reducing incredibly normal wants down to shallow, ridiculous things that no adult should be demanding of their mother.

But the thing is it's never that simple or black and white.

Mary is so fucking incredibly valid for needing space in season 12. She just came back from the dead, her husband is dead, her kids are in their late 30s/early 40s, the entire world is fucked, and she doesn't have a relationship with these two men who were her babies literally like. An hour ago to her. That's INSANE. That's a situation that there is literally no precedent for. She can't fall back on her husband or literally anyone she knew for support her because they're all dead.

It would be like if it had been 40yrs topside when Dean came back from hell and he found out that his entire family was dead and also he had a kid who is now technically older than him and wants to have a relationship with him. Just to put things into perspective. And we wouldn't blame Dean for needing time and space to process that.

Dean and Mary are both valid. Their feelings and reactions to the situation are valid. But unfortunately being valid doesn't mean you're being fair. Neither of them are fully correct for having expectations of each other, but neither of them are exactly wrong either.

The real villain in the situation is Amara, who didn't bring Mary back because Mary deserved another shot, who didn't bring Mary back because Mary wanted to come back, who didn't bring Mary back because Sam never got to know her as a mom, but brought her back because she assumed there was something wrong specifically in how Dean loved her post-death.

Mary was selfishly brought back on the whim of a god-like being who didn't care that it would bring greater pain to Mary and Dean. She didn't like the way that narrative went, so she, like so many other people in Mary and Dean's life, decided to interfere.

I suspect that the reasons that you and I don't enjoy Mary's inclusion in later seasons is that a) fandom at large blames either Mary or Dean entirely for their conflict and makes out that one of them is a bad person (primarily Dean, which is unfair for a multitude of reasons), b) people act like Amara was correct for her reasoning in bringing Mary back and c) the narrative ultimately punishes both of them by killing Mary again. It's just not fun to watch, not even in a "my faves are suffering" kinda way. We dislike Mary because the Mary plotline is unfair, and we've grown up with a lot of unfairness.

[teamjacobthot]

tbh, i caught your tags on one of the reblogs of a post and i was curious enough to look into more of your takes. honestly? 💯💯

another thing to note on the racism in twilight (other than the obvious vampire bias through smeyer's oh sorry, Bella's pov.... 🙄) is how Bella in BD has the audacity to call the vampires' shitty treatment of Jacob (yknow, her supposed "best friend") as "easy acceptance"(!!!)

I was amazed at the easy acceptance the visiting vampires had for Jacob (..). Jacob seemed more or less invisible to them, not quite a person, but also not food, either. They treated him the way people who are not animal-lovers treat the pets of their friends.

☝️☝️ Taken directly from the book, this is from Bella's on viewpoint, so there is no misquoting here. that's exactly how she thinks of it and she's amazed by it!

what pisses me off the most is that i've seen people *cough* twilight tiktok and reddit *cough* defend the Cullens letting the vampires come over and feed on humans during their stay (yknow, something Bella the Biased™️ touts the Cullens as "good to the core"(!)) becus "ummm ☝️🤓 they need them to witness for renameme 👉👈🥺 the Cullens' lives are at stake!!!"

to which i say, have your meetup literally anywhere else?? the book, especially Breaking dawn, made the Cullens come off as rich and multimillionaires with private islands and only wearing clothes "once" and "enough money to keep a small country afloat for decades" and yet your telling me they can't find another house that's FAR AWAY from the tribe where they WON'T end up ruining the lives of some Quileute kids by making them phase into wolves against their will?? And ALL Bella says in the Volturi meetup where she sees all those young werewolves are "ah makes sense the werewolf population will explode with all these vampires~ 😮😮 uwuwuwu"

FUCK Bella and the Cullens for that. All this for their little Rigatoni halfpire child. They've gotta be the most selfish mfs on the planet.

first, I’m sorry for this late ass response!! second, you spilled.

I always think abt how cullens could’ve used their billionaire resources to gather all their witnesses in isle esme, or the arctic circle, or some giant empty ass area of a desert, or or or-

the books and their themes surrounding only bella and edward does such a disservice to the readers though. this is the paragraph right before the quote you provided:

ik this topic has been discussed to death in wolf pack-centric circles (hiii oomfies 💜) but this shit is kinda devastating, isn’t it? and knowing that jacob’s whole thing up until he imprinted was about the importance of having CHOICESSSSSS in life, this breaks my fawking heart. bella is a big part of his character journey ofc but she’s not everything and it’s easy for the reader to forget this when he’s treated like a damn house pet.

jake phased for the first time at 16 years old, assumed the position of a Local Supernatural Protector of Human Lives at 16 years old, and fell in line to sam’s orders until he couldn’t anymore, so he could try to protect bella. and THEN he made the hard decision to break off from the pack and embrace his family legacy of being an alpha at 16 years old. then boom, he loses his autonomy to imprinting and is bonded to bella and edward’s baby forever. AT 16 YEARS OLD.

before he imprinted, jake and the rest of the pack wouldn’t have stood for any of this witness shit in breaking dawn, but bella’s narrative just treats this as jake essentially turning the other cheek and saying “oh well!” bc of the imprint. imprinting was a blessing for jared, a bullet for leah, and a band-aid for jacob. and then there’s bella, who — despite caring for jacob (smeyer’s words not mine) — doesn’t give a shit abt middle schoolers on the rez phasing, bc her child’s safety is more important than theirs. the rez kids are just casualties. makes me sick fr

[theinfinitedivides]

Regarding your recent post, I'm not even shocked that a certain section of this fandom are still trying to pretend Assad fans are any more anti black than Sam fans. I've seen plenty of anti blackness from all corners of this fandom, from both Lestat and Armand fans. But somehow weirdos think Sam fans are woke and progressive in comparison? there were Samstat fans who wrote disgusting fanfic of Louis calling other black people 'gorillas' for fuck's sake and specifically to prop up Lestat. There were Loustaters who thought it was a brilliant idea to go to a slave plantation so they can pose for their OTP photos. The Lestat fans who gloated about Claudia finally getting what she deserved, until they decided to use her as a prop for lestat sympathy post s2. But it's convenient for them to focus all that energy and blame solely on Assad and all his fans, because it suits the narrative they've already developed in their minds.

When people were making rape jokes about Assad's character, I recognized some of those blogs. One of them was a Loustater who I distinctly remember talking about Assad derisively. Because according to this fan, he's supposedly replacing Jacob next season. Which is an insane take like these people do know who next season about right? It's supposed to be a TVL adaptation and Armand does have appearances in that story. But here's the thing, they don't mention Sam at all. Now why would they claim Assad (a brown actor who has already has been sidelined repeatedly in marketing and nominations) has more potential to replace Jacob and not Sam, who Rolin already stated was going to be the lead in s3? When AMC has already pushed for more samstat presence in s2?

Let's be real here, some of these people live vicariously through the Jacob/Sam dynamic and the validation they feel from it that they are resentful of obstacles to that. Even if it's another actor of color potentially sharing more scenes with Sam in the future. This is also why they took that rpf poll so seriously ("if you don't vote for my preferred coworker ship, you're anti black") It wasn't just this blog, literally other people who were downplaying the racism for the awards snubs were very similar in that they are very invested in jam conspiracies and/or more lenient towards Sam and other white actors on the show. This bias has been called out by several black fans who I follow.

IWTV fandom directs a very noticable amount of vitriol towards the cast of color on this show. And yes, this includes the Muslim brown actor who fans see as the source of all their problems apparently. Fans behave like they can pick or choose what is racism or not with the marketing and nominations. Jacob, Delainey and Assad have all been subjected to all kinds of nasty remarks that are racist and colorist before this season even began.

It is possible to care about both anti blackness and racism against South Asians. It's absolutely important that both are addressed. But I guess these fans think that only one of these issues matter while continuing to bootlick a white corporation. It's sad and transparent what's really going on here.

A SECOND IWTV FANDOM READ HAS HIT MY INBOX. I REPEAT A SECOND IWTV FANDOM READ HAS HIT MY INBOX. someone call the fire department y'all trying to burn down my house with this one hold on

first off. idk where all of you are coming from with these good good takes but keep making them and keep reading the hypocritical fuckers in this fandom for filth while you're at it bc you are right and true and correct. we have seen shit on all sides bc having your pet character to hide behind doesn't change the fact that your ass is racist, but there's something about the racism from so-called Sam fans that is like. how do you even come up with that. how do you look at what you just said and think that's ok to post. and most times it is about making the South Asian Muslim actor the big bad, just like how here in the US racist pasty ass motherfuckers hear 'terrorist' and immediately conjure up images of folks from the SWANA region/South Asian subcontinent. it's othering. he's not like us so we can use him as a punching bag and pin everything we think is wrong in the fandom on him

living vicariously through the Jam dynamic................................ anon truer words have never been spoken. i get it. maybe they latched on too hard to the unholy trinity of the Loustat + Claudia family in the early days of s1 before that went down the drain and mother and daughter headed off to Paris and so they love seeing Jacob and Sam interact for promos irl. for those Jam fans who might see this listen to me. i am holding y'all very gently rn. go outside and touch grass there is no fucking reason whatsoever for you to get so delusional about two coworkers/work besties that you will use that to give the corporation propping up the white half in content he is not meant to be submitted for over the other members of the cast a free-for-all pass. no. it's like using fly swatters in this place the amount of messages i've had to delete from my inbox this week bc they all start with some variant of 'but Sam' and i do not have the spoons to answer that foolishness again

jumping all around your ask in terms of the order in which i make these points so i apologize but heading back to the Loustat blogs that have it out for Assad for whatever reason (specifically the ones making SA jokes about Armand)—i remember seeing that post and just being instantly horrified. i'm talking cold sweats level of freaked the fuck out. just bc you think AMC is going to use the shift in main vamp focus to possibly give Armand slightly more screentime that means he's going to replace Louis and therefore you can now wish things i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy on him. what the actual fuck. in my mind there is a spectrum and this shit is on one end and the rabid Marius stans are on the other and they are both equivalently bad. those two are shaking hands in the center over ways to violate and overlook Brown bodies and ykw i'm tired of not naming names so i'll name the ones who made these statements in the first place (note: i'm putting them below the cut at the very end of this ask bc i don't want anyone to be triggered by that kind of vileness as a jumpscare when i still have things left to say. not worth it.)

ykw honestly the obvious attempt to get Black and South Asian IWTV fans to split down the middle over whose blorbo/actor experiences more racism is disgusting. it's just like when they're always trying to get the diaspora (mainly African-Americans + Caribbean people of African descent, although i have seen them get the West African brethren involved) to start infighting over stupid shit bitch when the cops pull us both over they're not going to ask for a geography lesson. they won't ask us if we immigrated or if our family's been here since before the fucking Civil War. they'll shoot us both and call it an encounter where the two of us were resisting and they feared for their fucking life, like they always do. kicking Assad to the curb to lift up Jacob or vice-versa is not going to get you brownie points with the other infinite amount of racists on this hellsite it'll just buy you time until they decide to kick you to the curb when you open your mouth (if you open your mouth) and point out anything about their blorbo + the way AMC is choosing to promote said blorbo. frankly not even bootlicking anymore we're deepthroating that shit all the way to the back no gag reflex. get up. your Islamophobic xenophobic posting and 'pick a side' propaganda is not the slay you think it is

(note: the Armand SA post in question is below this marker. if you think a trigger warning applies, it probably does. stay safe. don't open this shit if you can't handle it. i'll drop the usernames in the comments for extra precaution regardless)

i had to unblock their asses to get this and then i blocked them right back. fuck me for even having to see this again but i did it for a good cause

[diorstarr]

Top 5 spn episodes?

1x06 skin ‼️‼️ my best friend forever and everrr

2x01 the deanjohn of it all....

3x15 sam wanting to frankenstein dean...

4x09 number one samruby understander🗣️🗣️🗣️and such an interesting look into their dynamic

6x05 maybe this is recency bias bc i just watched this ep but soulless sam in this ep ;))))

[suzannahnatters]

FOTR Book 2: Chs 5-10: What Else Will I Do in the 3 Day Heatwave

Lorien is both a section of the book that I love madly, and something that has troubled me in both my recent re-reads: that is, I do not think that it is supposed to be the unadulterated ideal that a shallow reading of the book might suggest. but I'll put my thoughts on that into a separate post.

CH 5 - THE BRIDGE OF KHAZAD-DUM

military tactics win!!!! Aragorn understands you can't conduct a retreat in good order with the enemy right on your heels - first you need to drive the enemy into retreat and THEN you can run while they are regrouping

the thought of Gandalf meeting his match against an enemy we can't even see...brr!

it's actually really quite helpful on a craft level to see how meticulously Tolkien crafts the foreshadowing and build up to this confrontation over CHAPTERS and CHAPTERS without ever explicitly mentioning the Balrog, it's a brilliant study in suspense

also I'm getting such a different view on the Orcs in this chapter thanks to TROP and I love how it opens up questions of bias among the authors of the Red Book

nice to see Aragorn eating his words about how helpless hobbits are lol

heeeeeeeeeck this is a PERFECT CHAPTER. I'm struck by how cinematic Tolkien's imagination is; I feel like I'm watching a movie in the best way. it's so impressive that he was able to do this in a day when cinematography was in its infancy. feels like all this is now in the visual vernacular, but it wasn't when he was writing!

CH 6 - LOTHLORIEN

Gimli, Tour Guide to Moria gives way to Legolas, Tour Guide to Lorien

always thought it extremely funny that Legolas is like ah yes a realm of my Sindarin kindred let me show you around and then one of the trees talks back to him and he's like HELP WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIE

aesthetically speaking Lothlorien is absolutely my favourite place on Middle Earth and I want SO BADLY to have a tree house there.

WHAT EXACTLY DID SAM'S UNCLE ANDY DO THOUGH

dying bc Sauron really just planted his summer getaway home down right at Galadriel's doorstep didn't he, where he could stare across the river drinking cheap goonsack wine and crying

"but whereas the light perceives the very heart of the darkness, its own secret has not been discovered" THE LIGHT SHINETH IN THE DARKNESS AND THE DARKNESS COMPREHENDED IT NOT

CH 7 - THE MIRROR OF GALADRIEL

my girl!!!!! Galadriel really walks into this book perceiving stuff nobody else knows, correcting her hubby when he gets a bit hot under the collar and winning over Gimli with a few words that show her appreciation for his people's culture and heritage.

Galadriel's speech about magic! I spent so many years getting squashed by people for liking Tolkien and fantasy in general because don't you know Suzannah that magic is BAD and WRONG! and in pure self-defence I had to be able to show them that actually in Tolkien good magic is fundamentally a different thing to evil magic, and Elvish magic especially is mostly just good craftsmanship, and this was one of the passages I went to to prove it. which is why in the very first scene of TROP I hit the roof with a yowl of delight because in addition to perfectly embodying all the other themes of Letter 131 it ALSO gets Galadriel's magic RIGHT - that little origami ship, beautiful and marvellous but not at all showy, is precisely what Elvish magic ought to be.

"but still the door is closed" yesssssss GIRL it IS

just chewing glass over all this "I perceive all his thought and he is constantly trying to perceive me and failing" "yes this is my ring, the ring of Adamant [hardness, endurance, and brilliant light]" - kicking my little feet - ohhhh they used this to write a corking fanfic

like I am not sure whether in the end I'll feel that TROP Galadriel does feel like an earlier version of Tolkien's Galadriel, Tolkien's Galadriel seems less about fisticuffs and more about strategy, which is one of the reasons TROP feels very much like a fanfic/AU to me, but I'm enjoying it for what it is.

CH 8 - FAREWELL TO LORIEN

the Elves give them CAMO CLOAKS and I was laughing until I realised that oh!!! they are like the Third Age equivalent of Lúthien's cloak!!!

Galadriel's first song is another top 10 LOTR poetry moment for me. It says so much about who she is and what she wants and where she's come in her ages-long character arc! love that we get a sense of her interiority like this.

also listening to it for the first time makes me realise - Melian learned her magic from Irmo the Vala, master of dreams and visions (which is why Luthien has sleep magic). Galadriel learned it from Melian, and THAT is why she rules a Middle Earth realm that is named after and resembles Irmo's home in Valinor, especially in being a dreamlike place of rest and recovery.

"a living vision of that which has already been left far behind" this description of the Lady perfectly encapsulates what the entire land of Lorien is supposed to be - something that is very much passing away.

also I love that this particular passage Frodo is seeing Galadriel as no longer perilous. which is specifically because we just saw the culmination of her ages long character arc, right there over the Mirror, when she finally accepted her fading.

gotta have Celeborn stick up for old wives' tales, after all he is married to the oldest wife of all.

"Night draweth nigh" last time I read this book I was perceived this as a pessimistic view of history but it's not really? it's just the Elvish view of history

Galadriel is such a mother in law to Aragorn

okay I hadn't realised this before but Galadriel saw Sam distraught over the felling of trees and so she gives him the seed of a Mallorn tree awwww.

Tolkien now says Okay I'm going to do medieval courtly love but BETTER. eat your heart out thomas malory.

CH 9 - THE GREAT RIVER

this chapter is mostly about Boromir butting heads with everybody else which I find to be distressing lol I want to like you bro stop going slowly crazy

first suitably epic appearance of airborne Ringwraiths!!! and Legolas just takes it out of the sky

CH 10 - THE BREAKING OF THE FELLOWSHIP

Boromir just spiralling into madness here

Frodo suddenly painfully aware of being alone with a Man twice his size sure hits different when you're a grown woman. That's what's wonderful about the hobbits as protagonists - their size makes them feel so incredibly relatable.

idk how much of this is due to Serkis going completely unhinged here but this might be the most terrifying part of the whole book now?

Sam my beloved. Just stops and uses his head while everyone else is losing theirs and heads back to the boats to catch Frodo.

Frodo meanwhile doing what he knows he has to. Despite everyone being against him and him not having Gandalf's advice or help - and of course he's doing the only wise thing.

[agustdiv1ne]

honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

[saltcxrcle]

additional thoughts from three months after initial post:

omg i also forgot to add when i first posted this but this also reinforces that the narrative's perspective is being told/through dean's perspective and how much the narrative favors dean over sam, especially in the later seasons while the earlier seasons (i would say but forgive me if im wrong) show each of the brother's perspective more equally until we hit season 4ish (i don't want to say season 4 definitely but my point still stands).

I haven't talked about how the narrative favors/is told through a certain perspective (because, 1) im not trying to start discourse 2) i want to state my opinion but knowing this fandom that the conversation surrounding it will not be productive and devolve into something else entirely), but trust others (mainly mari lol ) have heard about this for sure. maybe one day ill make another post about the POV in which the narrative is told through

i truly want to do a more thorough retrospective of season 8 and about the narratives POV but i have to finish the show before i do another rewatch but trust that those essay(s) will come eventually :)

a little retrospective about sam and season 8 (if you even care lol) 

thoughts are under the cut bc i yapped

okay when first watching the beginning of season 8, i was intially mad at sam for not trying to look for dean when he was in purgatory for a year (as did many others to my knowledge) but after sometime away from that season and just not being on tumblr for a solid month made me form my own opinions LOL. look dean had every right to be pissed at sam for just leaving the life behind and not trying to find him or kevin, like it get it, he has every right to feel that way, but sam had no clue was in purgatory and thought he was dead

we as the viewer know where dean and cas are, but sam does not. the writers ultilzed a little device called dramatic irony and in this case, the audience knows what happens to dean and cas, but in sam’s perspective, dean and cas died in front of him after saving the world again 

sam admits that he was lost after losing his brother and friend and had no clue what he was doing and just drove the impala until he hit a dog (paraphrasing here but hopefully you get my point). although i don’t entirely love the sam and amelia plotline (admittledy i skipped the flashbacks), it showcases the cycle that he is desperately trying to get out of hunting but ultimately gets sucks back into. 

like i get the rationale of being angry at sam, hell i was too, but what were we expecting out of sam? him hellbent on finding his brother when he has no clue if he’s alive or try and find and save kevin?  which, objectively he should have done that, but subjectively sam had experienced so much loss at that point that so yeah, i can see why that wasn’t at the top of the list of priorities. so no, i don't and shouldn't have expected sam to do that.

besides dean made sam promise him that if he died or vice versa that you don’t try and bring the other back because we’ve seen the consequences of their attempts of resurrecting the other (don’t get me started on season 9, i think i might blow a gasket if i even try and talk about it) 

so yeah that’s my little two cents on that matter and yeah i unfortunately love these pair of idiot brothers (and maybe i like the taller one a bit more at times) thanks for reading :P

[aro-aceattorney]

actual play tier list !!! over explaining under the cut

S TIER: Naddpod - i'm a little over halfway over naddpod C1 and i'm obsessed. truly THE best combat of any actual play i've ever listned to. Brian murphy actually the best AP DM

Dndads s1 - Soooo funny. hilarious and poignant. you can tell its a table of writers working to tell a story together and they do it WELL

dndads ATMOD - I'm such a slut of Cthulu, i think it's a really fun system. ATMoD is really fucking funny as well as scary. its the perfect length for what it is, and it feels super balanced and just v well done

D20 USC2 - Honesly i think i just put this so high up becuase cody walsh is my absolute favorite d20 pc of all time

D20 FHJY - maybe its recency bias but i LOVE junior year so far. obsessed with kristins arc and can't wait to see whats coming next

A TIER:

D20 FHFY: ILY FANTASY HIGH freshman year is so fun and i love watching the gang learn how to play dnd!! super fucking solid season

D20 FHSY: Really good. actually thinking about it i should have put this in s tier.

TAZ Balance: TAZ is what got me into dnd and was SO instrumental in my life. its not in S bc i haven't listened since i was 17 and have no idea if it actually holds up or not

D20 USC: really fucking good i love u sophia i love u mr march i love u kugrash i love you KINGSTON AND PETE !!!

D20 Mentpolis: sam reich if you're reading this you need to put more of the dndads crew on dimesion 20. right neow. also hank green again cowards

B TIER:

TAZ amnesty: again i haven't listened since i was in highschool but i do remember amnesty going hard but not as hard as balanace

D20 Neverafter: I LOVED neverafter it was so good! it just felt a little bit. bloated and overcomplicated at times

C TIER:

Dndads s2: ughhh. dndads s2 is so low not becuase its expetionally bad but because it had SO MUCH POTENTIAL that it didn't use and aghsshh s2 is so good but could be SO MUCH BETTER!!! dndads s2 i love u and miss you i just have an extremely complicated relationship with u

[samiferboy]

ok it's been a hot minute since I've rewatched s5 but where's that post that's like "we don't know how/why/the circumstances in which sam said yes to lucifer, we can't assume he was coerced/tricked/forced into it" bc like yeah I wouldn't put it past lucifer to attempt any of those things but I really really really like the idea of sam feeling so alone and wretched and unclean going to the only one he knows won't judge him for it. caught between relief bc he's not being constantly made to drown in guilt and shame vs. the guilt and shame that he feels when he finds solace in being with lucifer. it's like an ouroborous situation where lucifer is the cause of his shame but lucifer is also the only person who doesn't think negatively of him for what he's done, so he finds comfort there that he's constantly conflicted about.

also I feel like lucifer would have told him at some point that a vessel can just tell an angel to fuck off and they have to do it. or did that get retconned for the gadreel thing lmao. like if we take that rule to endverse, wouldn't sam have told lucifer to fuck off by now? but that also conflicts with slucifer killing endverse dean and I feel like no version of sam would be ok with that, he'd be telling lucifer to get the fuck out of him. I'm not gonna let my samifer bias get in the way of how much sam loves dean bc that would just be ignoring the entire show

I think the takeaway is that my bf and i need to get to s5 so I can talk coherently about this

[whatwouldeddiedo]

Which 911 character would be a fan of Richmond? And who would their favorite player be?

okay, so I am gonna steal a headcanon from @itsabeenado and the fic she wrote me for my birthday that it's Buck. So in her backstory for that, Buck watched a documentary (a la sunderland til i die) about Richmond because Buck loves a good info doc, and this was was sporty too, so it drew him in, and he got really really into them. It's hard to say who I think he'd love bc my bias wants to say Jamie because Jamie is my Forever Favorite. But I bet Buck would really love Sam because *everyone* loves Sam. He'd probably love Jamie though, just because I bet the story of how he went back to City and left to do a dumb reality show and then no one wanted him but he Proved Everyone Wrong would speak to Buck. like leaving a HUGE powerhouse like Manchester City????? Having to crawl back to a CHAMPIONSHIP team that was basically the laughing stock of English football???? And then helping them get PROMOTED along with all the members of the team that had been there forever.

A Note: He Real Person Ships Jamie and Roy because all their talking head interviews they end up talking about each other and he's like Eddie, Eddie, do you think there's something going on between those two. (Spoiler: There Is.)

[the-mpreg-guy]

can u please elaborate on why u feel that sam is the bpd one and not dean bc i made a 34 slide PowerPoint abt supernatural last year and 70% of it was saying dean has bpd and providing textual evidence. genuinely curious for a different perspective! im a dean girl with BPD so there is admittedly some bias, lmao

I don’t have as many Sam receipts as I do for Dean, so I can’t really provide a long post on why I headcanon it BUT it’s mostly based off the fact that Sam very quickly ping pongs between Dean being his favorite person in the world and then being pissed at Dean, and has intense anger issues that he has trouble regulating (esp in early seasons). My headcanon is completely based off vibes and bias so no one here should take it as a canon reading or anything. It’s really mostly vibes from my heart (altho if I get a little insane for another early seasons rewatch I will definitely collect some receipts for you!!)

I can definitely see a reading for bpd Dean too, even tho I don’t personally headcanon it. Esp regarding his abandonment issues. Your powerpoint sounds awesome and I love it when dean girls do academic studies with microsoft office about it.

[golbrocklovely]

oh my god your rant 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼

and then theres sam who reposts shit all and somehow doesnt cop anything for it? but colby does repost a hell lot and likes a hell lot and its still not good enough? im fkn over this bs

and so what if he reposts girls who look a certain way. not that i think he does or does intentionally but even if he did... its his acct he can do whatever the fk he wants. if thats their angle then they should get shitty at him too for not fking a variety as well. i’d be more shocked if he was only reposting underage girls. then i’d be raising an eyebrow and saying dude not cool.

and i should also clarify i am no way shape or form either of their types. i dont have a chance this side of hell. they wouldnt even look at me in a market. but that gives me 0 right to be upset about it.

the underlying issue with this whole argument, that colby only reposts a certain type of fan, is that it comes from a place of deep insecurity from the fans complaining. hate to bring that up, but it's reality.

like i said in my rant, i was in the same boat as them. genuinely felt like it was pointless to post myself in merch bc i just felt like they weren't gonna like me. but as i've grown up, idc if snc like me like that. idc if they think i'm hot or if i'm their type bc there is literally no chance in hell i'm getting with them EITHER WAY. not to mention, colby DOESN'T ignore fans that are a certain way.

the only reason anyone hyperfixates on girls he reposts that look like shea is bc they have already made up in their minds that that is who he finds hot and so when he does eventually repost someone like that, it confirms their bias.

but what's funny about that is he doesn't even WANT shea so i highly doubt knockoff sheas are his type lmao

it's just all very ridiculous to me bc these same fans know he's trying, will acknowledge that, and then say it's still not enough. even tho sam, their lord and savior, isn't even trying - and actually basically told them to fuck off and he'll do what he wants.

make it make sense to me, bc it doesn't.

[mdverse]

teehee you told me to drop by so i'm asking the most important question of them all.... of the main new directions who do they bias in bts and how much do they like bts 🤭

hi u are so real for this sorry this has taken me a while to get to!! been trying to organise my thoughts but i'm still not fully set on things. i guess ill do this from like. most to least likely to enjoy bts? (also i will say i have thoughts on the vb au squad specifically! i don't remember them in detail and they're probably similar to what i've written here but i def remember talking about it with mist)

tina: 100% most likely to be an army also def a once and a sone but that's not relelvant here! girlie has taste and i love that for her <3 she has jimin stan energy to me, i think she'd see the similarities between him and mike and she'd have a major soft spot for that

sugar: not technically one of the main new directions but i wanted to include her anyway bc i bet she loves bts. she has that vibe. she'd have all the merch and could very easily spend hundreds of dollars on concert tickets for herself and tina and anyone else who wanted to come. idk how she'd feel about the older eras but she'd def be a fan of the more poppy songs (maybe hyyh-onwards? def enjoys the LY/MOTS eras). probably a big vocal line fan, specifically jin and possibly jungkook as a bias wrecker

brittany: i think she'd enjoy bts a lot tbh! idk if she'd dive deep into fan theories or keep up with stuff like run bts but she'd def vibe with their music and i would kill to see her do the dance challenges or even full dance covers. i'd say she's hobi-biased but also just a big fan of 3J/sunshine line

blaine: i think he'd enjoy their more recent eras! mainly LY/MOTS-onwards i think? he has boy with luv/dynamite vibes. major jungkook stan in my head but i think he would really enjoy joon's lyrics/writing style

mike: def introduced to bts through tina dkfjgh but i think he'd get sucked in by the dance practices and the live performances even if the music itself isn't necessarily stuff he'd listen to! probably a 3J stan, if i had to pick one i'd very hesitantly say jimin

santana: idk if she'd listen to them regularly but. i do think she'd vibe a lot with agust d's albums? and i also think she'd find mono and indigo really soothing. epiphany would alter her brain chemistry and no one can tell me otherwise! i know for a fact that she would cry at that song. namgi fan

quinn: casual bts listener i think? def a joon stan tho i don't make the rules here!! i do also think she'd enjoy jin's voice a lot

artie: i feel like bts would be a guilty pleasure for him? idk if he'd be super invested but he would enjoy some of their music and he would def have an appreciation for the mvs! musically i'd say he enjoys tae the most but he def thinks jimin is ridiculously pretty

sam: hmmm sam is one i feel much less familiar with. mist said u guys have talked about blamtina being armys together and i can kinda see that? he does also kinda seem like he'd consider them a guilty pleasure to me tho. jin or jungkook stan energy

mercedes: secondhand fan through tina! idk if she'd listen to them on her own but if tina is around she doesn't mind listening to them. there's bound to be at least one song that hits hard for her but idk what it is rn. i think she'd appreciate tae's voice the most?

kurt: also introduced to them through tina! idk if i see him being much of a kpop fan but i do think he'd appreciate the aesthetics and the artistry of it all. i think he'd like jungkook bc he gets blaine vibes from kookie? alternatively there's sth about him that makes me think jimin stan

puck: bts doesn't really have much rock music so i guess puck wouldn't be super interested in most of it but i feel like there are probably a few songs he might enjoy just vibe-wise? maybe stuff like stigma, house of cards? i also inexplicably get a hip hop fan vibe from him despite that not being a thing in canon so i could potentially see him vibing with their earlier eras and stuff like the cyphers and being biased towards the rap line? but i'm not very set on that

finn: doesn't strike me as much of a kpop fan tbh but i think there are a couple of songs here and there he might like (fake love rocking mix!). idk if he'd actually ever remember any of their names tho kdfjgh he'd probably pick a different bias every time he's asked bc he never pays enough attention to recognise any of them

rachel: does not have kpop fan vibes to me at all but i find it hard to read her so i could be wrong there? idk i don't think she'd really listen to their music since she is so showtunes to me. that being said i think if she had to pick a fav it would be jungkook if only bc of the gold star/golden maknae association