#glee x bts

[mdverse]

happy bday love! 💞💞💞 @flaine

ref / inspo

[dkettchen]

bitches will rather ship blood-related (w)incest than Any Woman smh

[stay-tiny2021]

How my 2023 went according to Apple Music

[efd6skzgzgz]

4 5 1 7 8 9 2 6 3 0

[candywife333]

My Little Saesang (Part 2)

chubby reader x idol jungkook

Summary: Y/N had been a super fan for a while. Some would say bordering on saesang or creep level. She didn't think she was one, till she experienced an incident that made her stop being a fan. She had never thought that Jungkook or any of BTS ever noticed her, as she was part of the masses of obsessive fans. But they had. Especially, one doe eyed idol in particular. He never thought he would miss his fan, or shall we say saesang. Yet, he couldn't help but notice her absence. He took her comforting presence, her kind eyes, hair disheveled in excitement, and wide smile for granted. And he didn't know when her presence started to matter to him so much. When exactly did she become such a constant in his life?

Disclaimer: The Jungkook represented in this fic does not reflect the true actions or thoughts of the real life Jungkook. Please treat this fic as exactly what it is, fiction

Triggers: Critique of fandom culture and kpop as a whole, identity crisis, eventual smut

Note: Not proofread. Slated to be approximately 4 parts or less.

Jungkook POV

It took me about two weeks, but I did start to notice her absence. I never got her real name. But I and all the other members christened her with the moniker of strawberry shortcake, for how tiny and chubby she was, and also how flushed her entire face and neck become as she jumped up and down to our songs. We called her berry or SS for short. The few fans we had from the beginning, we either knew their actual names or had little nicknames to commemorate them.

She was a fan of the entire group, but I knew I was her bias, and so did the other members. It was obvious, the way she left tiny gifts wrapped in gold and red ( as though it were perpetually christmas year round for her) addressed towards me. She even took fancams of me, her eyes furtively moving along my body , gasping when she caught sight of my abs over the years. I wouldn't deny that sometimes I played up my antics for the camera just so I could catch her mouth wide open in an "O" petrified in shock as she bopped her head up and down manically.

Berry was not there. And it was starting to really bother me. It shouldn't in fact. She shouldn't matter that much to me. Yet, I always had her in my corner since debut. I always had her eyes on me, watching over me. It felt comforting even though she had gotten a little too close for comfort twice or thrice by accosting me with gifts on sets of music video shoots or backstage. Her specialty was with desserts. She would always leave me coffee infused brownies and tres leche cake towards the end of the year right in front of the HYBE building, addressed to me specifically with a cheery little note wishing me for christmas and new years.

And now I was staring at the entire crowd at MusicBank, surveying the area to see her familiar face. She was usually in the first row, bopping her light stick in an erratic manner, mouthing the lyrics to the song, staring at me with excited eyes that lit up with glee. The girl really didn't seem to love material things, because she would always wear the same red beanie and pearl earrings I had been seeing for the past 5 years. Her clothes were always a nondescript black or brown shade, pants and a sweater. She never really donned feminine clothes in all the years I had noticed her.

As I looked for her, I could only find her associate, the ARMY who always stuck by her, who we had named Specs. The tall, lithe limbed girl glared at me. It felt like she was piercing daggers through my skull as she squinted though her black thick framed glasses. She had always had a smile on her face, and now she looked so angry. Yoongi always had a tiny crush on her. She had supported him for ages, even paying for his meals many times when he was still a trainee. Why was she so indignant?

Before I could start questioning all of this even further, Yoongi came up to me with a hand on my shoulder, noticing Specs, "How is my baby doing? And why the hell is she glaring at you like you murdered her first born child? Did you do anything to her?", he questioned in a worried tone of voice. I answered back, "Of course not. I don't really interact with fans that personally. You know that hyung".

He continued quizzically, raising one eye brow up, "Where is berry? My baby Specs is alone today? You really must've done something to fuck things up. She isn't even looking at me. Totally ignoring me. The hell, she usually smiles softly at me and today she looks like somebody pissed on her breakfast. What gives"?

I had no idea what was going on. Our loyal fans for years, people who we didn't necessarily consider saesangs, but just sort of obsessive in their devotion, were either not present or ignoring us. What the hell was becoming of this fandom?!!!!

That's when I saw Berry push through the crowd. And I was so shook, that an earthquake could've come through and swallowed me up and I wouldn't have cared. Berry was dressed in a peach colored floral fit and flare dress with her customary pearls in her ears and what looked like heels on. The only way I knew was that she looked taller than usual. She had a floral ribbon in her hair, lip gloss on, eye make up on point. What the hell was she up to all of a sudden?

Her hair was streaming down her back in waves, loosened from the customary ponytail I saw all the time. She hugged Specs and a few other armies who I noticed she always had around with her. She kissed another army in a wheelchair on the cheek, plopping a pastry box in her hands and wrapping her neck with a scarf. With the deadest look in her eyes, lifeless and devoid of the usual pretty sparkle, she stared at me, as though it were some sort of messed up farewell. WTF??!!! Why did this feel like a good bye? She just looked so done.

She didn't smile at me or any of the members. She gave her light stick to another baby Army in 3rd row, she looked back once wistfully, and left the place through the door.

Where the fuck was she going?!!!?!

After the performance, dreading the fact that Berry left right in the beginning (something she had never done even once in the past years) , I walked up to Specs in the front row. The gangly girl looked super shocked to see me right up in front of her. I squeaked out in mild panic, "Where is your friend? She looked all dressed up and cute today. Does she have plans or something?"

The initial shock wore off on Specs face as something akin to irritation filtered through, "She has a date today , with a coworker I believe. That's why she is dressed up. But you don't need to know that. Today was her official last day as active super fan. She is still a fan, but she's decided to convert from offline to online fan. That's it". Specs said all this with a finality that started freaking me out. I stuttered, "SS-S-S-S-he became an online fan. Meaning, she won't show up in person to our events anymore"?

Specs muttered derisively, "Do you not understand anything I just said. Korean is your first language right? I just told you she is done being such an avid fan". She snorted, looking tired with a distant glaze in her eyes , "Maybe even I should stop. I am getting too old for this shit. My mom keeps telling me to get married, and here I am attending all this stuff, obsessing over millionaires who have more money than I ever could in my life. I am becoming an old fucking lady and I don't even have a husband or family of my own. I guess all of us older armies might need to redirect our lives back towards ourselves".

She stomped away after that remark. Yoongi ran up to me as I walked back stage. He inquired , "Is Specs still there? I was going to ask her for her number".

I grumbled out with my hands on my head, "She left hyung. So did berry, a while ago. I think we are losing our OG fans. Berry never left me once in the last few years. Even when we became so famous in the US, she never stopped attending my events, even some of the big ones in the US. What went so wrong that she is quitting?"

Yoongi choked in confusion, "You mean to tell me that both Specs and Berry are quitting. They ain't even that old, maybe late 20s. Oh no, fuck!!! My baby, Specs, I never told her how much she meant to me. What did she say?" Yoongi, shook my arm hard, trying to squeeze answer out at me. "She said that she is becoming too old for this and maybe she should get married soon, because her mother is pressuring her".

Yoongi's eyes popped wide open, panic and fear evident in his eyes, squeaking, "WTFFFFF. Since when did they give up on us like this? I can't let Specs go. She has been with me before I was famous , looking like a homeless dude, and even now. I have to get her back!!!! The fuck, I need to talk to the ARMY fanclub president for her contact". He scurried off in anxiety, leaving me back to stew in sadness. What had I done so wrong for Berry to leave me after so many years? Something must've ticked her off. Shit, the chocolate. It all hit me in a frenzy. It was the Godiva chocolate. That limited edition Christmas chocolate she had left for me that day on set.

It had been one of the hardest days in my schedule, and just seeing her face had made it all better. But the irritation had gotten to me, and in my anger at being hangry on a diet, I had thrown the chocolate in the trash. Oh no. Wait. A dreadful thought entered my head. What if she thought, that it was my rejection of her support and love as a fan? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She probably thought I hated her or something when it was just a bad day.

What bothered me even more, was that she had skipped my event to attend a date. A date with a guy who was not me. This thought filtered through my head, and I froze. Why did it aggravate me so much that she was on a date with another dude? Then I imagined her soft eyes, gleaming with love as she stared at another guy, kissed him on the cheek, sharing a chocolate cake with him and partaking in a chocolate-fililed kiss on the lips.

I felt like literally crying. I don't know why I did. But, I just did. I had to find her no matter what and I had to do it fast, before she gave up on me.

Y/N POV

The date had been fine. Jung-shik had been a cute guy, all brown curls , shy smiles and blushes. He was one of the art managers at KBS who I had met at the bakery. We talked about work, music, and art, eating cheese cake at a cake cafe. He had been a true gentleman, asking me what I wanted to have and opening the door for me, even going so far as to drop me near the bus station.

I sat at the bus station, waiting for my ride back at him when I saw a billboard of the sexy man himself, Jungkook. I could never escape this guy it seemed, even in death. I had felt his stare at me and Kim Hee today. It was odd, he never stared at individual fans like. He did that with particularly beautiful Armys---total models and divas I tell you. But, never with me. Even Yoongi stared at Kim Hee like they had three kids together, like she was coming home with him, like she was married to him---as much as that girl liked to deny it.

I never felt him even acknowledge me, with a glance, till today. I could feel the smoldering presence digging into my skin. Probably cause I dressed up for once today. As I was about to get on the bus that had pulled in, I saw a flash of black fluffy hair.

Before I could get on the bus, a strong sturdy vascular hand encircled my wrist, stopping me from getting on. Looking up at this man's face, I realized who it was. Doe eyes pierced into my face with a cutting glare, a sneer on his face, chewed up lips contorting in anger and ......something that felt like envy, "Who the hell did you go on a date with Berry? You better not be giving my chocolates away to anyone else".

[pearlprincess02]

aries sun, gemini moon, sagittarius rising, aries mercury, taurus venus, gemini mars

aries sun: you’re the embodiment of ambition, that glorious spark of motivation. you’re the image of when dawn breaks, that fiery red hue. you’re who i look at during times of desperation, the light of perseverance in a room full of hopelessness. the feeling of full marks after sleepless nights of frustration, my most prized possession, a taste of satisfaction.

gemini moon: a room full of things and hobbies. the best storytellers. light and witty humor. filled journals and sketchbooks. making the atmosphere brighter by just entering the room. having a thousand ideas and being passionate about every single one. soft touches and whispered secrets. i’d spend the rest of my life standing here talking.

sagittarius rising: sagittarius rising curvy body shape. sagittarius rising probably have a nice butt and thick thighs. they tend to have a pear shaped body. also i have seem these people have nice teeth too. and their smile is gorgeous. they may also have crooked teeth and watery big eyes. i have noticed these people can gain weight easily but that's just what i have seen. could be wrong too. these people can have eye issues too. they tend to have a v shaped jaw. oh but sagittarius rising have a nice ass is not joke.

aries mercury: direct, candid and uncomplicated way of thinking and communicating. very opinionated and doesn't mind or can even enjoy argumentative and aggressive ways of talking and expressing thoughts. thoughts progress quickly and they do best in fast paced conversations and thinking on their feet. they don't stay too focused on the same thing for long. they are tactless but rarely dull (enthusiastic).

taurus venus: irresistible charm or look, low-key seductive, enduring and magnetic, slow burn, dream weddings or dates, romantic touch, comforting and content, careful with hearts.

gemini mars: lightning-fast energy but airy to be around, wins you over with humor, takes pride in his intellect, upbeat and always around a crowd or working one, bewitches with ease and passion.

(@pearlprincess02)

ᵒᵇˢᵉʳᵛᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵃʳᵉⁿ'ᵗ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ

about me:

[ basic info ] → ꕥ black 🇹🇹 ꕥ usa 🇺🇸 ꕥ 20 ꕥ infp ꕥ bi ꕥ gryfferin ꕥ

[ major interests & hobbies ] → ꕥ music (i can play the piano) ꕥ astrology ꕥ psychology ꕥ greek mythology ꕥ baking ꕥ swimming ꕥ

[ music stans ] → ꕥ lana del ray ꕥ olivia rodrigo ꕥ billie eilish ꕥ taylor swift ꕥ justin beiber ꕥ harry styles ꕥ halsey ꕥ tyler, the creator ꕥ lil peep ꕥ the neighbourhood ꕥ chase atlantic ꕥ the weeknd ꕥ joji ꕥ rihanna ꕥ frank ocean ꕥ 5sos ꕥ blackbear ꕥ bts ꕥ

[ movies & shows ] → ꕥ my hero academia ꕥ tokyo revengers ꕥ blue lock ꕥ fairytail ꕥ stranger things ꕥ outer banks ꕥ harry potter series ꕥ twilight series ꕥ hunger games series ꕥ american horror story ꕥ the vampire diaries ꕥ shameless ꕥ pretty little liars ꕥ haikyuu ꕥ euphoria ꕥ it ꕥ you ꕥ the little mermaid ꕥ aladdin ꕥ the princess and the frog ꕥ moana ꕥ buffy the vampire slayer ꕥ percy jackson ꕥ death note ꕥ hunter x hunter ꕥ horimiya ꕥ glee ꕥ house of the dragon ꕥ kill bill ꕥ skins ꕥ skam ꕥ criminal minds ꕥ

[ dni!!! ] → if.... homophobic, transphobic, racists etc.. ,

main masterlist

[agerefandom]

Agere Writers Masterpost (2023 Edition!)

Helpful reminders: 

all of these blogs are SFW but have their own DNIs, so please remember to check! 

not all of these blogs have open requests, so please read their bios and respect their boundaries! 

please let me know if I should add anyone! to qualify, blogs must take requests for headcanons or fanfiction, have an easily accessible fandom list, be specifically sfw/non-k!nk content, and have posted in the last three months! 

Holy moly, the list is LONG this year!!! We are still growing and expanding as a community! Because I don’t want to flood anyone’s dashes, the list will be under a ‘keep reading’. 

The list is organized in order of the number of fandoms they write for: with the widest range of fandoms at the top, down to single-fandom blogs at the bottom.

Blogs in italics are folks who don’t match my DNI or vice-versa (but are still sfw agere): I didn’t want to exclude them as many of my followers might have different personal stances than me! However, to respect both of our DNIs, I didn’t want to tag them, so please feel free to explore their blogs in your own time if they’re up your alley! 

@smollwriting​ (She-Ra, Creepypasta, The Good Place, Vampire Knight, BNHA, Undertale, Castlevania, Disney, Marvel, DC, D:BH, Life Is Strange, Resident Evil, Anne With An E, Black Butler, Tokyo Ghoul, Death Note, Assassination Classroom, AoT, Free!, Lucifer, OHSHC, Arcana, Stranger Things, and MANY more) 

@agerefandom​ (Adventure Zone, Animaniacs, ATLA, BNHA, Castlevania, Critical Role, Danganronpa, Death Note, Disney, Doctor Who, DDLC, Glee, Gravity Falls, Hannibal, Harry Potter, Homestuck, Magnus Archives, MCU, POTO, Sandman, Sherlock, Star Wars, Steven Universe, SPN, Twilight, Untamed, WTNV, and more) 

@ember-owlet​ (Encanto, Chainsaw Man, Beastars, Jujutsu Kaisen, Spy x Family, Witch Hat Atelier, Arcane, DHMIS, Killing Eve, MLP, Steven Universe, Owl House, OTGW, Wednesday, Cats, Heathers, Hadestown, POTO, D:BH, DDLC, FNAF, God Of War, RE:VIII, Last of Us, Undertale, and more) 

@writerpey​ (Arcane, ATLA/LOK, BTS, D:BH, Disney, Downton Abbey, GoT, God of War, Marvel, OFMD, Peaky Blinders, RDR2, Sherlock, Shadow and Bone, Star Wars, Stranger Things, The Batman, Last of Us, Uncharted, Wednesday, WWDITS, and more)

@wonderinglullaby​ (DC, Invader Zim, Breaking Bad, MLP, ATLA, SPN, Doctor Who, Invincible, Inside Job, Walking Dead, Carebears, Bojack Horseman, Stranger Things, Umbrella Academy, OTGW, Spiderman, Deadpool, Horror movies, and more)

@deuce-t-agere​ (911 Lone Star, Bluey, Care Bears, Criminal Minds, Critical Role, DC, Ever After High, Disney (esp. Hercules right now), Friday the 13th, Horror, James Bond, Lilo and Stitch, LOTR, Marvel, Monster High, POTO, Star Trek, Star Wars) 

@littlefirefly42​ (Marvel, She-Ra, Riordanverse, Owl House, Adventure Time, Bee and Puppycat, Stranger Things, Heartstopper, Gone, OTGW, DHMIS, Dragon Prince, Goncharov, It, Wednesday, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, HTTYD) 

@paper--moons​ (BNHA, Saiki K, Fairy Tail, Soul Eater, Death Note, FMAB, Dragon Ball, TAZ, Umbrella Academy, Marvel, DC, LOTR/Hobbit, Castlevania, TES, Dragon Age, Stardew Valley, The Witcher) 

@dreamties​ (Saw, The Collector, Black Christmas, Scream, House of Wax, The Boy, Heathers, Candyman, Carrie, Lost Boys, Psycho, Friday The 13th, Child’s Play, Spree, Laid to Rest, Dead by Daylight) 

@lavendermilkbottle​ (The Walking Dead, OFMD, DSMP, Hermitcraft, BNHA, Haikyuu, Star Wars, AFTG, DC, Grey’s Anatomy, Stranger Things, Leverage, White Collar, James Bond, Kingsman, Top Gun) 

@thorin-baby-bear​ (Stranger Things, Critical Role, Ghostbusters, It, Marvel, Ride The Cyclone, Doctor Who, Moon Knight, OFMD, Dead Poets Society, Welcome Home, Ash vs. Evil Dead, Werewolf By Knight, Bullet Train) 

@lains-cyberspace​ (Serial Experiments Lain, Complete Selection Modification, Welcome Home, BNHA, Genshin Impact, PJSK, Obey Me, Kpop, Slipknot, DHMIS, Enstars, TBHK, Danganronpa) 

@tinybeebo​ (Doctor Who, Marvel, X-Men, Moon Knight, Law and Order, Psych, Glee, Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen, Greatest Showman, Cobra Kai, Criminal Minds) 

@babiestbubbles​ (ROTTMNT, Daredevil, Spiderman, Stranger Things, Owl House, Bluey, Beyblade Burst, Disney, Harry Potter, DSMP/MCYT, BNHA, Sanders Sides) 

@strawbabys-blog​ (DSMP, Maze Runner, Harry Potter, BNHA, Merlin, Haikyuu, Heartstopper, Yuri on Ice!, Voltron, Hamilton, Marvel) 

@blankie-nest-agere​ (WarioWare, Psychonauts, MLP, Cookie Run, Stardew Valley, Owl House, Gravity Falls, Pokemon, Undertale/Deltarune, Invader Zim, Homestuck) 

@babybutlerarthur​ (Monster High, Danny Phantom, HTTYD, OHSHC, Hetalia, Disney, Welcome Home, SPN, Good Omens, Muppets, Star Trek)

@littlegummyfox​ (Series of Unfortunate Events, Adventure Time, Marvel, Steven Universe, Wednesday, HTTYD, Disney, Trollhunters, Welcome Home, Star Wars)

@mossysmolboy​ (OHSHC, BNHA, FNAF, Black Butler, Yuri On Ice, Stardew Valley, Creepypasta, D:BH, Sally Face, Arcane) 

shinxylullaby (Food Fantasy, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Cookie Run, Ouran, Sanrio Boys, Demon Slayer, BNHA, MXTX, MLP, Obey Me) 

@leos-regression-cove​ (Marvel, Parks and Rec, Good Omens, Bee and Puppycat, WWDITS, OFMD, Abbot Elementary, Ghosts UK/US, Better Call Saul) 

@froggy-clubhouse​ (Mr. Robot, Stranger Things, Teen Wolf, Homestuck, Haikyuu, Lucky Star, DHMIS, FNAF, South Park) 

aew-kun-age-regression (Marvel, SPN, Criminal Minds, Teen Wolf, Last of Us, Walking Dead, Harry Potter, Stranger Things) 

comfybuckets (Idolmaster, Project Sekai, Vast Error, Sanrio, Homestuck, Pokemon, Chrono Trigger, MLP g4) 

berrymoos (Moon Knight, Ninjago, Owl House, BNHA, Demon Slayer, Pokemon, Spiderman, Steven Universe, Stranger Things) 

@pup-writes-agere​ (Naruto, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, Animal Crossing, Sonic, TMNT, FNAF, Danganronpa)

@sfwregressionfanfictions​ (Supernatural, RPF, Stranger Things, Marvel, Criminal Minds, Harry Potter, Addams Family)

@arcadian-agere​ (TWST, Genshin Impact, Death Note, Enstars, Black Butler, Nu Carnival, Pokemon)

kiddo-characters (Banana Fish, Owari no Seraph, Love Live!, Warrior Cats, sk8 The Infinity, ATLA, Genshin Impact) 

zeiru (Amphibia, ATLA, Disney/Pixar, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, MLP, Tangled Series, Owl House) 

@dino--boyy​ (Fear Street, Criminal Minds, Stranger Things, Owl House, Scream, Yellowjackets) 

@jjtheresidentbaby​ (Criminal Minds, SPN, Stranger Things, SWAT, Marvel, Teen Wolf)

@azulsgoldfish​ (TWST, PRSK, OHSHC, Persona, Enstars, Pokemon)

@honeybeewritings​ (Marvel, Stranger Things, Harry Potter, Wednesday)

@karaslittlesunshine​ (Supergirl, Marvel, Pitch Perfect, Criminal Minds)

@agere-ena​ (Project Sekai, Pretty Cure, Love Live!, Honkai: Star Rail)

enderlyghost (Ok KO, Encanto, FNAF: SB, MCYT/DSMP)

800-little-space (BNHA, Haikyuu, Assassination Classroom, Harry Potter) 

@tiniestroses​ (Project Sekai, Sonic, TMNT, Undertale)

@agere-fics​ (Marvel, Good Omens, The Mandalorian) 

@angelbaby-fics​ (Marvel, Stranger Things, other Chris Evans characters)

@guppies-daydream​ (Legend of Zelda, Splatoon) 

@gothicmunson​ (Stranger Things, Our Flag Means Death)

@smallboyontheship​ (Just Roll With It) 

@littlemetaknight​ (Kirby) 

@pumpkaboo-princess​ (Project Sekai) 

@prince-honeypaw (BNHA) 

@babs-and-bones​ (Undertale)

@babybones-agere​ (Undertale)

@sleepy-watcher​ (Our Flag Means Death)

@star-struck-wonderland​ (BNHA)

@bnha-crimebabies​ (BNHA)

@bnha-littlespace-things​ (BNHA)

@little-lippie​ (Kpop Girl Groups) 

pyrohrtd (Genshin Impact) 

[icedmatchatae]

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Angst (but what’s new), mentions of incompetency, scenes of therapy, mentions of past substance use (alcoholism, drugs), brief mentions of withdrawals, alcohol consumption, intoxication, aggressive behavior, violence/fights, mentions of murder (no one gets killed) descriptions of panic attacks, vomiting, crying, [Disclaimer—how panic attacks occur varies by the individual. I for one have experienced panic attacks and used some of the methods described. It may not work for everyone but it worked for me and how to cope]

Word Count: 12.6k

Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It || Series Masterlist

After the school bell rang, second-year middle schooler Taehyung exited the classroom with his three other classmates. They were talking in-depth about the new volume of One Piece that came out recently. As they were doing so, a flyer plastered on the school’s bulletin board caught his eye.

Geochang Middle School’s Annual Talent Show.

Taehyung remembered last year’s and it was absolutely remarkable. The singing, dancing, the tricks, students performed. He was impressed yet slightly envious of their confidence. He wished to sign up, but he was actually shy about his abilities. He has been practicing the saxophone, but he didn’t think he was all that skilled yet. He can dance?? It was a trial and error, but he didn’t look weird doing it.

But the thing he loved doing the most was singing. He loved it and learning how to sing songs and melodies. Although he never really performed in front of others before, well, except you and his family.

“Hey, Tae! Your girlfriend is coming.” One of his classmates tapped his shoulder for his attention. The other two snickered in the back, making him roll his eyes at their playful teasing.

“Not my girlfriend.” Taehyung corrected as always before turning his head and smiling to see your bright one.

It was your first year in middle school and was so excited when you got into the same school as your best friend. Though you weren’t in the same classes, you were still able to have lunch with him and walk to and from school with him. With your stuffed backpack carried over your shoulders, your uniform bounced in the air as you eagerly walked towards him.

“Whatever you say!” His classmate scoffed before the three of them went their separate ways. Taehyung waited for you as you headed down the hallway.

Once you reached him, he pulled you into a big hug and shook your body happily in his arms. “You think you did well with the quiz after lunch?”

As you parted away, you nodded proudly with your shoulders high. “It was surprisingly easy. Algebra equations weren’t as bad as I thought.”

“Only you would say that because you love math so much.” Taehyung retorted before his eyes diverted back to the board. “Hey, Blue.” He then pointed at the flyer. “What do you think about the talent show?”

Your eyes followed his pointing and hummed in thought, “I haven’t seen it, but it sounds like fun. Of course, I could never do that.”

Taehyung chuckled softly at your evident shyness from the spotlight. His curled lips progressively sunk as the nerves got to him by the thought. “W-What if I…signed up?”

Your head pivoted at him as your irises gleamed with glee. “If you signed up, you’re gonna be amazing, Hyungie! You have so many talents!”

A tint of pink powdered across his cheeks and nose from your compliment. “Stop, you’re just lying.”

You gasped dramatically before slapping his arm, “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop that low. I would never lie! I’m always honest with you.” You pouted childishly as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Taehyung cooed at your fond expression, wrapping his arms around you once more. “Of course, my Blue. Forgive me!” You shook your head before getting away from him. He quickly followed behind and caught up.

The two of you walked out of the campus and headed down the pathway toward your houses. There was a moment of silence before you spoke up about the talent show. “So…are you gonna sign up?”

He sighed as he stared up into the clear sky. “I’m not sure, like what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I’m not mistaken, it’s a middle school talent show where anyone could sign up for anything.”

“Wow, you say it so rashly.” He laughed, throwing his head back. “I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself. Middle schoolers are mean!”

“You’re not gonna make a fool out of yourself.” You reassured, holding the straps of your backpack. You pulled on it, so it’ll lift higher. “Because you have talents. Singing, dancing, playing an instrument…”

“Rapping?”

“No.”

“How can you be so cruel??” He shouted, his prepubescent ego shattering at your comment.

“I told you I’m always honest with you!” You giggled mischievously but spotted him pouting like a puppy. “Hyungie, I’m serious though. If you sign up, it’s gonna be a decision you won’t regret.”

“Really?” He asked, still having doubt.

“Of course, because if you won’t, you’ll keep thinking about it and wondering what if.” You linked arms with him as you leaned into his body. “If you do, I’ll support you every step of the way, okay?”

You sure knew how to make him feel better. Like how you needed reassurance, he needed some cheering on too. He looked down at you with a sad smile on, “You know how nervous I get, Blue.”

You nodded empathically, then squished your cheek towards his arm. “As I said, I’ll be the one to support you every step of the way.”

-

“So from all of this, how do you feel about her back in your life?” Dr. Im looked at Taehyung sitting across on the couch as practice and routine. In the idol’s opinion, the past sessions have been dreadful. Dr. Im said nothing negative regarding his client, but through his therapist’s non-verbal responses, it was best to say he even agreed.

Taehyung was aware he was at fault. He hasn’t been honest with him, despite certain sessions’ moods consisting of feeling good and better. Though the idol first entered into therapy to “get better,” his goal remained undetermined. Dr. Im tried very hard to cooperate with his stubborn client. He got him talking about happiness in previous sessions, but even that had gotten static. 

Taehyung didn’t know why he was so hesitant into telling Dr. Im about his life. Before their meeting, the company provided a file for the professional so he knew everything about him including his alcohol and drug use, minor fights and under-the-table conflict, and even his…episodes that only his close-knit circle knew about. 

Dr. Im reminded him again that these sessions would lack if nothing was spoken. He was brutally honest when he spoke that though progress wasn’t linear, actions and words had to be made to see progress. He was there to help by all means within the time frame. Because they both knew that Taehyung wanted to feel better, be better. Yet the term was used so often that it felt futile.

Though he was worried, Taehyung eventually opened up about something. He explained how unsatisfying life has been, including the struggles of feeling happy. But one good thing that has happened recently for the last months was reuniting with you. He described your childhood friendship, how close-knit you were with him and even his family, the fights and distance that happened leading up to the falling out, the reunion, the start, and potentially the beginning of the end once again.

It was the way Taehyung rambled about you for such a long time that there were only ten minutes left in the session. Though Dr. Im enjoyed every minute of how willing the idol talked, he needed to get out some answers to all of this.

“So how are you with her now?” His therapist asked.

The idol frowned at the recent memory. It has been two weeks since you’ve last spoken to him or since he last saw you. When it reached the one-week mark, he have had enough and tried to go to the restaurant to see you. But for some reason, Jungkook convinced him that you didn’t want to see him. Why? The answer was through Jungkook’s phone. You texted him saying he was forbidden to see you.

Everything he experienced about that felt so wrong to him that it stabbed him in the chest. The distance between you two seemed to grow as days went on. He missed you and wanted to talk to you. He didn’t like how close you were being to his member, nor did he like how you text Jungkook instead of him. The youngest even texted you right in front of him with a fucking smile too.

You were his best friend. Not fucking Jeon Jungkook.

Nevertheless, Taehyung grinned appreciatively as he reminisced about his time with you those weeks before. “It’s nice, I love it, a lot…” His responses were curt but genuine. “I, uh, she was actually part of my memories when I was happy. She was a big part of my life and helped me through a lot. I guess you can say, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.”

“Which is…”

The idol squinted his eyes as he dived into the question. “Well, being an idol. To tell you the truth, I used to get quite nervous in front of crowds or people in general. In earlier times, performances used to trigger…my episodes.” His face grimaced at the worrisome experiences, especially the ones when you weren’t there. “She was there to help me, and also encouraged me to sign up and audition.”

“What I’m hearing is how appreciative are you of her?” His therapist smiled empathetically, making Taehyung nod. “I’ve noticed from the way you talked, you must really care for her too despite the years away. She is very important to you.”

“I’ll always care for her,” Taehyung confirmed pridefully with no arrogance slipping out. “Even when I accidentally become a dick sometimes.”

“And why do you think that?”

Chewing on his lips, Taehyung looked at the man as if he caught something that wasn’t supposed to show. He could lie to his therapist, but what good does it do for him? He was spending his money on this anyway. Either way, Dr. Im was wise and has been in the game for decades. A problematic idol wasn’t going to outsmart him because he’ll eventually find out about it.

So he gave up his internal battle and sighed. “I guess because I’m selfish.” And before Dr. Im could say what the meaning behind it was, Taehyung continued. “Since my life was in shambles and was in the dark for so long, I wanted a little bit of control in my life.” 

“Care to explain? I remembered you talking about being an idol and the exposure to the world.” 

Today was shockingly growth between him and his therapist. Taehyung was willing to let most of his vulnerability flow out in hopes to find at least one other person who understood his thoughts and feelings without shaming him for what he has been doing. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t made progress. It’s been the same bullshit every day for the past year and…I don’t know. I don’t feel good at all.“

“You’ve been going through a lot, especially recently.” Dr. Im responded as he scribbled down more notes on his clipboard. Once he was done, he placed his pen and clipboard on his lap to look over at his client. “I know you may think and say that you haven’t done much, but from seeing you when you first came to now, I’d say you’ve changed.”

Snorting in disbelief, Taehyung rolled his eyes as he leaned back into his seat. “Stop lying, sir.”

“As someone in this field of work, it is unethical to lie. Well, when was the last time you used or took substances? Recklessly drunk? Been into fights? Or even have your panic attacks?” His therapist listed meaningfully as he observed the idol. 

Pursing his eyebrows together, Taehyung pondered on the thoughts. Sure, he has gotten drunk and had minor episodes but it wasn’t to an extent compared to last year. Jesus Christ, last year was a whole mess. Taehyung was going through scandals back to back and HYBE had to cover it up because most of them were true.

Substances…he promised Namjoon and Jimin that he’d stop for the sake of the group, but he took it hard with his withdrawals. Screaming, hitting, throwing things around, and being tackled by a member or his friends. One of the only coping mechanisms was drinking or fighting with the members, and even that still wasn’t good.

Taehyung merely shrugged, “I still drink but less, I guess. I don’t know about the rest…probably a while. I was forced to stop when I came here. The…substances that is.”

“That’s amazing, Taehyung. You’ve pushed through that very well.” Dr. Im praised and nodded. “There have been improvements. You just haven’t been entirely aware of them with everything else that’s going on.”

“You think?” The idol asked softly. He always had this concern. His life never felt any better—apart from you—to fully accept how much he overcame in the past year. There were still more problems, but fewer than before.

“Of course, I’ve kept track and listed down all we discussed and the concerns that were brought up from the first time.” Dr. Im explained. “I commend you with your strength.”

“But what if I fuck up? Won't disappointment come my way?”

“Having those negative emotions will not benefit the situation, whether it’s internal or external. The hars truth would still be that you messed up, but there’s always time to get back up. Relapsing happens, but it's not the end. It may take longer but have patience with yourself.”

Taehyung didn’t realize that a tear ran down his cheek until he hiccuped a sob. But it wasn’t by the comment. It was the realization that Dr. Im was the only person who understood him being like this—a fucked-up unhappy person. Someone who won't blame him or scold him around.

But still, the hard-hitting question lingered in his mind. With or without all the problems he had, why was the feeling still there? “But even with all of that, then why am I still unhappy?”

-

You were wiping down tables while Kenji took a nap behind the cash register. You glanced at him before shaking your head in disappointment as always. He was lucky that it wasn’t busy today, it was practically empty. Then again, rush hour for lunch was over so all that was left was to wait until dinner time.

You heard rummaging through the tarp before looking up to find Jungkook and Jimin smiling and waving at you.  “___! Hi!” Jungkook greeted you before coming towards your frame for an unexpected hug.

You flinched at the touch before carefully hugging him back. “H-hi?” You lightly pushed away from him despite his strong grip. You waved at Jimin with a friendly smile. “W-what are you two doing here?” You were kind of shocked to see them. It wasn’t a bad thing because they’d been here before, but those times, they would be with Taehyung.

You haven’t spoken to or seen Taehyung since the somewhat incident. You weren’t angry at him, but the behavior still bummed you out. You were still undecided about how to think about it, but it didn’t mean you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Ugh, you regretted those words out of your mouth. It didn’t even help that you even texted Jungkook you didn’t want to see Taehyung at all the day after.

Wow, you were dramatic and exaggerated everything. Can’t really blame yourself because of all the trauma and hardship that you’ve experienced. 

You wanted to see Taehyung again, and knowing how stubborn he was, you expected him to come and disregard your insult at most a week, the earliest being the following day. But now it has been two weeks, and you were rethinking your actions. Though it was to protect yourself, you were still so hard on him. Every frown, sad twist on his face, the deflating in his shoulder, it killed you.

You always hated seeing him like that, even when you were younger. If Taehyung hated seeing you cry, then you despised seeing him sad or scared. He was never good on his own with things like that, so you wondered how he held up all those years.

These months reuniting with him were flourishing. When you were able to push the tension to the side, you’ve seen a new light of this Taehyung. More mature, more charismatic, and more confident in himself, which made you very proud to see knowing his struggle.

But after reflecting and being honest with yourself, you truly saw your Taehyung in him. Still playful, still has a shit ton of friends, still caring, still affectionate, still thoughtful, you’ve seen him all the time.

You just weren’t fully trusting of him to even accept it. You were scared, but you had every reason to be. You knew the effort he made while you gave very little. Maybe he too had his reasons for the mishap. You shouldn’t think of him so lowly, he was trying his best while you weren’t. You felt guilty about what you’ve done and now suffered the consequences. 

You dearly wanted his friendship, whether you liked it or not. 

You did miss him within the weeks that passed. Maybe it was your turn to approach him.

“Jimin Hyung actually just came back from a trip to America.” Jungkook stretched a smile at you. “That means to eat your heart out with homeland food.”

You chuckled at him as you threw the used cloth into the bucket behind the cashier, though you purposefully missed so it hits Kenji hard enough to wake him up. He startled awake and groaned when he smelled the dirtied fabric on his face. He threw it rightfully into the bucket before standing up and glaring at your calm state. It happened before, but it always got to him like it was the first time.

“So I’m assuming you both are here for dinner? It’s pretty early for that, but doesn’t matter.” You quipped as you pulled out two menus for them.

“Actually, no.” Jimin shook his head, which made you confused. “We wanted to invite you out…for dinner.”

“Uhh, what?”

“Please, it’ll mean so much for us if you could come.” Jungkook came forth to you and grabbed your hand with both of his. Gently squeezing it when you tensed up, you seemed to relax right after. “It’ll be fun! We have to go to our company building really quickly, but we’ll eat!”

Though their invitation remained harmless, you couldn’t help but be hesitant of them and their doings. For starters, you were working and it was a weekday. You were sure you explicitly mentioned that you worked every day of the week except weekends. Though Jungkook and Jimin were kind, you don’t know much about them. Yes, you texted Jungkook from time to time but he’d usually initiate it and if you hung out with them, Taehyung would be in the picture.

“Umm, just us?” You asked. When you felt another pair of eyes on you, you glanced to the side to find Kenji staring entertainingly.

“Well, Hobi Hyung and Namjoonie Hyung will come too! That’s why we have to go back to the company.” Jimin responded enthusiastically. “Everyone else has a schedule or other prior engagements—”

“Then I remembered you, and we haven’t hung out in a while!” Jungkook interjected impatiently, squeezing your hand again for encouragement. “Please, please, please, come!”

Now there was too much hand-in-hand contact with this man. You pulled your hand away from him but lightly laughed it off to avoid any awkwardness. You waved him off and shook your head. “Thank you for the offer, but as you can see I’m w—”

“___ can go!” Kenji shouted out of the blue. He sped towards you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. You huffed at the unexpected contact with your smiling coworker before scowling up. “We aren’t as busy today actually, so we don’t need two workers here. I’m the boss so…”

“Excuse me, you are definitely not—”

“Give yourself a break from time to time, ___.” Your coworker suggested. “The last time you did so was when you were in the hospital, which shouldn’t really be the only time to take a break.”

“Kenji!”

“Halmeoni will understand and will be happy for you!” Kenji wasn’t taking no for an answer. You thinned your lips into a line before pushing him away.

“Just because you’re their grandson doesn’t give you special privileges!”

“Uhh, it absolutely does.” He scoffed, enjoying your angered state. Well, not only him. The two idols were quite fond of your reaction. “Just go, ___. Plus you need to eat.”

“I’m not a child. I can remember things like that by myself.” You rolled your eyes before crossing your hands over your chest.

“So you’ll come?” Jimin’s eyes lit up with hope. “The Hyungs don’t mind at all! I even texted them.”

Having dinner with four highly-acclaimed and handsome idols all by yourself? The offer was very intriguing, to say the least. “But wor—”

“___, Halmeoni would get mad if she saw you here and not me because she knows how much you work for your gra—”

You smacked your palm over Kenji’s mouth while you glared deadly into his pupils. You didn’t want them to know your business, despite telling your only coworker and perhaps friend—you don’t even really hang out with him outside of work—in confidence. With your eyes piercing holes into his brain, he quickly shut his mouth. “Don’t speak of it if you want those to be your last words.” He nodded, agreeing in a heartbeat before you released him.

Your coworker gasped exaggeratedly, getting a nasty shiver from you. “But ___ can go. I don’t mind working the whole dinner rush and closing up alone.”

“I don’t even have money to spend!”

“We invited you! It’s our treat!!” Jimin announced with a very lovely smile.

You sighed, still contemplating. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure! Go have fun.” Kenji reassured.

“If you text help, I’ll drop everything to come back, okay?” You told him, making sure that he was free to ask you.

Kenji shook his head, knowing how much you liked to help but never wanted it back. “Yeah, I will.”

You turned your head to spot Jungkook and Jimin being all giddy. They couldn’t believe they got you out of work so easily. They were mentally high-fiving and slapping each other’s shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll come but will it be okay? I know you’re idols and privacy and all that stuff.”

“Not to worry about that.” Jimin shooed that idea off. “Let’s go!”

You took your apron off and hung it back on the hooks. You barely grabbed your bag when Jungkook reached for your hand and tugged you to follow him out. Your irises looked back at a waving Kenji as he watched you three leave.

This was going to be an interesting experience. Maybe it’ll be good. Help you put yourself out there again after years of keeping to yourself. That was what you and Taehyung wanted after all.

Though you left, you didn’t realize that you forgot your phone inside your apron pocket.

-

Taehyung mindlessly stared into the lit TV screen with a random drama playing. The cascading sun began settling down for the day through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Yeontan rested on his lap while the idol stroked his coat. Not bothering to pay attention to his surroundings, he was deep into his thoughts which all resorted back to you.

He wondered how you were, probably working right now since it was close to dinner time. But he wanted to know if you were okay, with school, with work, with everyone going on right now. He understood that you practically banished him and tried to respect your wishes, but the selfish devil on his shoulder told him to fuck that and run back to you. But he reminded himself of what his therapist told him a couple of days back.

“Though it’s great for you to have her back in your life, you can’t force her to do things that you want and she doesn’t.” Dr. Im informed carefully. 

“That’s not fair!” The idol whined. “I know she does, she’s just so hesitant with me after all that I did.”

“Well, think about it this way—if someone made you do things you didn’t want but they did, how would you feel? Both sides have to consent, right?”

Taehyung kept silent, knowing the right and moral answer to it. But he knew you were different. Your friendship was different compared to anyone. Simply accepting defeat and parting away from either side was wrong and cruel, making that a bad best friend in the eyes of Hyungie and Blue.

If there was one trait you and Taehyung’s relationship was always strong about was stubbornness and adamance. Your friendship stood long because neither side wouldn’t give up on the other, even if communication lacked at some points. You’d bother and irritate (mainly Taehyung) but also protect and care for one another by all means. Because you knew what was best for each other, whether you liked it or not.

If anything, he knew more about you than you did yourself and vice versa.

“Honey, I’ll be back!” The high-pitched voice sent shivers down his spine. She seemed too giddy for his liking right now. Scowling a bit before relaxing an emotionless expression, he shifted his attention towards his dolled-up girlfriend. He was about to ask where she was going, but remembered she had dinner plans with friends she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Have fun. Hope you black out for me.” He piped, but his demeanor remained.  

Clara rolled her eyes, then laughed. “Will you be home alone? You haven’t been out with anyone.”

Ahh, there it was. Yes, what she said was true. After making up with her, Taehyung stayed home all day or at the company building. He hasn’t seen you, Seojoon, or any of his members despite texting. There were no in-betweens, making the growing feeling inside eat him alive.

Life sucked, but hey, his girlfriend wasn’t biting into his ass. The past two weeks Clara was soooo lovey-dovey, sweet, and happy seeing him always in the house. She would ask him if he was going out or not but knew the default answer which she would get all excited over. She spent so much more time with him in that time frame than this past year.

But Taehyung was going mental. Actually, that was the reason why he remembered where she was going because it was finally away from him.

“I’ll be fine.” He hummed, trying to go back to focusing on the TV before him, or whatever he was doing.

“I’ll miss you.” She cooed as she skipped towards the couch. From behind, she bent down to kiss him on the cheek. He scrunched his nose, keeping his hands on his sleeping dog. “Bye, I love you!”

“Me too.” He muttered. Once Clara left and closed the front door, Taehyung realized he held his breath. He felt suffocated, it wasn’t good. Like a time bomb ticking waiting to be detonated any minute, he seemed a bit more alleviated now that he was in the house alone for the night.

Yet he didn’t want to turn into that woman from the Yellow Wallpaper Namjoon talked about before. Maybe it was time to get out. He needed it, but most importantly, perhaps he needed to go to the restaurant to make up with you. He had to. It didn’t sit well with him knowing that you were away from him. He just needed some good right now and if it doesn’t happen, he’d crack.

He turned his head slightly to spot the peace lily plant he had bought for you sitting on the coffee table. It has been sitting there since that night. He took care of it in the meantime, searching online on how to maintain it.

He hoped you understood and forgave him. He didn’t comprehend why he tried to kiss you, but he’ll do anything to get you back.

-

“Jesus Christ, this place is top-notch.” You muttered under your breath when you observed Jimin scan his face to make the elevator function. Jungkook heard your comment, making him giggle beside you. Jimin pressed a floor button before it began to move.

“Our safety is important, especially when visitors come regularly,” Jungkook explained. “That’s why there’s security everywhere.”

“Yes, but it didn’t help that they accused me of being a sasaeng when you both were on my sides smiling.” You mentioned the unfortunate mishap. You stood there embarrassingly without any knowledge while Jimin had to report to them you were a friend. But you weren’t on their friend list, so you needed to make a pass and fingerprint scan. It took longer than anticipated, so you were slightly uncomfortable.

“Sorry about that.” Jimin blew a chuckle out of his nostrils. “Precautions, that’s all.” You hummed in response, patiently waiting for your floor. 

Once you were on the fifteen floor, your trio walked out of the lift. You followed them down a hallway where you reached a spacious lounging area. It shouted out rich and expensive because the couches were built into the floors. Table tennis in the corner, unlimited stocks of water, juice, and other endorsements HYBE groups had, but what fascinated you was the spread of plants surrounding the room.

It looked like the nursery you and Taehyung went to, but of course, the plants were for aesthetics than grabs. You were in awe, scanning through them while Jimin spoke up.

“I texted the hyungs but they aren’t answering, so I’ll bother them. Be right back.” Jimin announced before separating and going down another hallway, leaving only you and Jungkook here.

While you were preoccupied staring at the greenery, Jungkook stared at you nervously. There was something he wanted to ask you but didn’t know how to or when would be the appropriate time especially since it was difficult to hang out with you. The maknae was confident in himself, but yet he was still shy at heart. But this was probably the only time he had a moment alone with you.

“___?” He called your name. Turning your attention to the youngest member of the group, your eyes grew wide in acknowledgment. “C-Can I ask you something? I promise it won’t take long.”

“Sure.” You agreed while keeping a wondering yet polite look.

“I know we only text and we don’t usually hang out but…” Jungkook began. He paused to bite his lower lip to calm himself before gazing his doe eyes onto yours. “I was wondering if we could like…go out together…alone…like a date?”

The sudden confession made you blush red like a tomato with eyes blinking rapidly to wake yourself up in case it was just a dream. But it wasn’t. Jungkook asked you out with confidence and genuineness.

You knew he had a crush on you, but you assumed it was nothing more. Kind of like his crush on IU, it was there but there was no action. Then again, you weren’t an idol. You didn’t even look like IU or even up to par with her visuals…why did he even like you?

“Why?” You wondered aloud.

Your one-word questioning shocked him yet amused him with your furrowed eyebrows and puffed pout. “What do you mean why?”

Your eyes roamed around you to avoid his staring. “Like…why? I’m nowhere near your type!”

His lips twitched upwards. “How do you know if you’re not my type?”

“Well, even though Taehyung and I parted ways before you all debuted, I still kept up with news and music.” You responded, still not meeting his eyes. When he knew you were trying to avoid his stare, he grabbed your chin. Turning to face him, you finally meet his eye contact and cocked your brow. “I-I know I’m not your type. You said it was IU, or anyone will long hair and nice thighs or something. Sorry if I come a bit rude.”

“You’re not.” He smiled, shaking his head. “And that was my type, so who knows what my type is now?”

“You. You would know.”

Jungkook squinted his eyelids at you. A bit sassy, yet you come off so blunt like it was obvious. It reminded him of someone close. “Type can also be different from attraction. But regardless of type, I’m still asking you if you’d wanna hang out. I wanna get to know you.”

Though Jungkook was a good guy, a good person actually, it would be wrong to lead him on when you were not interested in him. He was handsome, sweet, and a bit silly, but it didn’t feel right with him. You knew it wasn’t a good sign to affiliate with him or any of the other members personally.

“Jungkook, thank you for the offer but—”

“Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen.” Jungkook groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in despair, already thinking the worst.

“No, no, hear me out.” You tried your best to give the benefit of the doubt. “I-I just want to focus on my studies right now. Graduate school is a pain for a simpleton like me. Adding onto work, it’s a lot.”

“You’re not a simpleton…” He spoke softly.

You grinned sympathetically. “Either way, I don’t really want to lead you on if I’m not putting all my effort into it. I hope you understand.” It made sense, though there was more to your reasoning than what was said. But he didn’t need to know that.

Jungkook sighed, “Fortunately, and unfortunately, I do. I should have known better than to ask you since you are Taehyung Hyung’s best friend like you’re…” He scanned around cautiously to see if anyone was around. “The..B word.”

You were taken aback, so much questioning running through your mind. First of all—“The B word? You’re not thinking bitch, right?”

His pupils dilated, waving his hands in denial. “No, definitely not that! I meant your nickname!”

“Nickname?”

“Blue!” He yelled but then slapped a hand over his mouth. He acted like he said a cursed word that brought a demon around us. Still confused, you tried expressing your concern but the man beat you to it. “Sorry, we’re not supposed to call you that, that’s why.”

“It’s not some forbidden word though…” You weren’t offended, but his high alert left you baffled. Taehyung was the only one who ever called you that. Not once did anyone else tag along with it, or at least followed through. You remembered that his younger siblings tried calling you Blue and he was not happy about it.

The nickname held much meaning to you and was kept deep into your heart, even with the hurtful memories that came with it. You haven’t heard the name in a while, so your heart longed for it, yet didn’t like it, especially when it came out of the mouth of someone else. But again, Jungkook didn’t need to know that.

“Hyung gets angry with it.” Jungkook chuckled nervously, easing the awkward tension he created.

“Relax though. It’s not harmful.” You tried calming him down. He nodded and stood quietly, but you still had more questions you wanted to ask. Your heart slowly grew anxious. “But what do you mean you knew better? What does me being Taehyung’s best friend have to do with that? But also I must remind you that we aren’t be—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, but it’s okay. I still want to get to know you better. I wanna be your friend at least!” The youngest member shrugged, shifting the topic.

He just blew you off like that, but it was whatever. A weird conversation…but you too wanted it to be over.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You agreed slowly. Jungkook gave you two thumbs up and a loving bunny smile. You then heard a group of footsteps progressively getting louder, so you turned your head to see Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok coming back. You praised the heavens after that.

So much going on, very little knowledge…

-

“What do you mean she’s not here?” Taehyung questioned a sitting Kenji who was finished with his remaining customers leaving. The restaurant was still open, but no one but the idol was there for dinner.

Halmeoni then came out from the kitchen and noticed the handsome idol right away. “Oh, Taehyung! You’re back. How are you?”

He looked at the elderly woman and forced a smile and bow at her. “Hello, Halmeoni. I-I’m fine, but Kenji said ___ isn’t here.”

She hummed in response, “Yeah, she’s not here! Kenji convinced her to take the night off. She needed it.”

“Do you know where she is? Is she at home?”

“She’s actually having dinner…with some guys,” Kenji smirked playfully because he saw Taehyung’s eyes bulged out and jaw unhinged.

“What?” The idol yelled a little too loud, making the younger man giggle.

“Finally, she’s hanging out with people!” Halmeoni cheered.

Knowing how much stress and concern the idol was in, Kenji decided to alleviate it. “Relax, it’s your bandmates.” He informed explicitly to get it into Taehyung’s head. “Jungkook Hyung and Jimin Hyung came to visit and asked her out for dinner. Taehyung nodded, also recalling that Jimin was also back from his trip. “Seems like you weren’t invited if you didn’t know?” That brought a scowl towards the younger man, but he couldn’t care less as he kept a smile on his face.

His expression relaxed as the words sunk in. Though it probably was a simple and casual dinner, Taehyung felt insulted and sad. You’ve been away from him for a while and said that you never wanted to see him again. Yet Jungkook and Jimin had the privilege of hanging out with you.

He was hurt, not at you. The entire situation. He hated where everything was going and what changes are happening. It wasn’t fair for him and his feelings. But this was all his fault, right? His doings led to this, so he had to deal with it, right?

He hated it, he hated himself even more. Nothing really was going his way and he had to suck it up so he couldn’t be selfish? Let others be happy and enjoy one another while he sulked and self-deprecated alone by himself. So much for improvement, right Dr. Im?

With that being said, he bolted out of the restaurant in a scurry, leaving Halmeoni and Kenji baffled and wondering what just happened. Now he needed to get away. He wanted to be alone right now. There were so many things that he couldn’t do and have. Well, enough was enough.

He needed an escape fast.

-

“Cheers!” The sounds of the glass filled clashing together echoed through the private dining room. You smiled and nodded as the boys cheered rowdily at the simple gesture. All of you then took a gulp or sip of the foamed beer that caused you to make a repulsive face with your nose scrunched.

“Don’t like beer?” Sitting next to you, Jimin laughed as he saw your expression.

“Uhh, yeah but it’s fine.” You smiled through the gross bitter aftertaste. “Don’t really like drinking as much.”

“But when you do, what kind do you like? We can order some.” Namjoon, who sat on the other side of you, asked with a friendly dimpled smile.

“I usually just go for wine or any flavored soju. Soda is nice too.” You answered while forcing yourself to drink the beer, making a soured face.

Hoseok, who sat across from you, laughed as he pulled the drink away from you. You grew big-eyed like someone stole your candy. You reminded him of someone and it was so adorable. “You don’t need to force yourself. We’ll get you those.” You muttered a thank you. Before you could even put a vegetable in your mouth, Hoseok wondered, “So how are you? We haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you. Just work and school has been my life right now.” You quickly threw slices of pork belly into your mouth and chewed while thinking of anything else to say. “I’m not doing anything big like you all.”

“___, please. Though our lives are different from yours, we still equate and emphasize the importance of what and why others do.” Namjoon argued as he watched you eat. You stuffed your face and pouted when you did so. It looked so familiar…

“Well, yes. I agree with you.” You shrugged, gulping down the food. “But really, life is…alright.” You hoped they won’t ask because it would be an opening of a dam you didn’t want to let out. 

“Feel free to hit us up though!” Hoseok offered, making you relax. “We loved spending time with you at the party! I especially love meeting and getting to know new people.”

“O-Oh, thank you. Just me?” You chuckled politely. You also couldn’t help but be in an intimate atmosphere with your bias.

“Yeah? And the other members too if they want. We all like you.” Jungkook mentioned as he kept grabbing more food off the plates.

Okay, you weren’t expecting this at all. Usually, especially with friends of Taehyung, would only put up with you because of him. They wanted him, not you but you were a package deal. So it was surprising to know they wanted to be friends with you. Perhaps this was what Taehyung meant when they were different than his past “friends.”

“Thank you.” You thanked them, smiling shyly and looking down at the dishes of food.

“You don’t have to be so formal with us.” Jimin giggled as he poured the bottle of wine given in a new glass for you. “You’re acting like it’s your first time making friends.”

“Technically, yes. I’m practically a loner.” You pursed your lips as you looked up to meet all their perplexed yet concerned stares. Obviously, it was true but you made it into a joke, but they didn’t know so you shook your head. “I mean yes, that’s true. But…it’s fine.” You laughed awkwardly, but they continued their gazes, causing you to stop. “I don’t really have many friends.”

“Like…at all?”

You pondered on the thought, trying your best to think of some people. “I guess, there’s my coworker. But we just talk at work most of the time. Oh, and his grandparents!”

“H-How about in Geochang?” Hoseok inquired with a smile. “Taehyungie said he had a lot of friends there! Since you were his best friend, we assumed that they were yours too!”

“They were still his friends. I only was there for Taehyung when he would spend time with them. For the most part, those friends didn’t want me there.” You responded. “His sister was my age. She was my friend, but I barely contacted her after her family moved out. All of them actually…”

Okay, maybe you made this dinner more depressing than it should have, judging by their empathetic faces. Your eyes bounced off of them as you let out a laugh. “I mean now you’re all my friends, right? It doesn’t matter anymore.” You balled your hands in fists and waved them in the air, getting all excited out of nowhere.

Assuming what you were trying to do, Namjoon joined in your laughter to die down the awkwardness. “Yes, we’re friends. Don’t worry, we want to spend time with you too, whether Taehyung’s here or not.”

“Hyung’s right!” Jungkook agreed. “We should be able to hang out with you, even call or text.”

“I guess so, sure.” You said. “Again, I work and go to school. It’s my priority. I’m here in Seoul for that reason.”

“Of course, we respect it.” Jimin nodded reassuringly. “But don’t exert yourself too much. Wouldn’t want to repeat the hospital thing Taehyung told us about?”

With the mention of his name, you were curious if they knew how he was. But you refrained from doing so. For some reason, you didn’t want to ask them. They probably would have meant well, but your gut feeling begged to differ. After all, this was your first time alone with them so you simply nodded. Maybe one day you’ll ask Taehyung about it. 

“By the way, let’s get your phone number or username, whichever you prefer.” Hoseok pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. 

You accepted and were about to get your phone out of your bag, only to notice it wasn’t there. You checked through the pockets and doubled into the bigger space, but came up empty-handed. You realized you must have left it back at work. “I forgot my phone at work. Can you please bring me back there?”

“Sure, but after dinner, of course,” Jungkook answered before placing meat wraps on your plate. You raised a brow at him, to which he winked cheekily. You scoffed before taking a bite of it.

“___, if you’re not busy on Saturday, I was hoping you could tag along with me to this trendy cafe. I was supposed to go with my sister, but she had a last-minute thing. They have this amazing mango dessert and iced Americano.” Hoseok invited, making you blush. You were experiencing too much with your favorite of the group, but you didn’t want to show how flustered you were. 

“I’d love to actually. Weekends are my day offs.”

“Wait, I wanna come too!” Jungkook pouted, not giving up on getting closer to you. “You talked about the place before and it sounded good.”

You shrugged, not minding at all. “Sure, but I hope iced Americanos aren’t the only drinks they serve. I don’t like coffee.”

“They have a lot more drinks like this coconut refresh—” Hoseok couldn’t even finish his sentence when you grimaced at the words. But he merely laughed at your displease. “Not a big fan of coconut?”

“I get queasy from the smell and taste.” Just by imagining it, you swore you could smell the scent, giving you shivers down your spine.

“You’re so much like Taehyung…” Namjoon mumbled, but the rest of you heard him speak. Jimin asked him to reiterate what he said. “I said, you’re so much like Taehyung.”

You blinked at the leader as you straighten your back. You weren’t expecting that either. “Wh—How?”

“You make faces when you don’t like something, you don’t drink coffee, you shake your fists in the air like him, and you pout when you chew.” Namjoon listed his observations, which not only freaked you out but the others. “S-Sorry, I was just looking and thinking. I’m sorry if I disrespected you.”

You shook your head and waved him off. “No, you didn’t. Uhhh…I didn’t think people would notice enough.” After many years and some months reuniting with Taehyung, you realized how many of each other’s habits you took after even to this day. It wasn’t a bad thing but showed how much you influenced and impacted one another.

“I thought I was the only one…” Jimin chimed in as well. “You’ve been doing these small things, like him. Weird…”

“But it’s kinda cute.” Hoseok hummed. “Maybe a best friend thing?”

A soft grin appeared on your face, reflecting on what he said. You weren’t insulted, you didn’t deny, maybe he was right. Maybe Taehyung was still somehow your best friend. “Maybe.”

-

The clear liquor burned down his throat as he chugged the green bottle in one go. Once it was empty, he threw it to the side of him. The other finished bottles crashed together on the cold concrete ground in the corner of the alleyway. 

Taehyung wiped off the excess leaking on the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes roamed around the dark cold night. Blurred blobs of people passed through his hazed vision. None bothered to take a glimpse of a drunken man sitting on trash and dirt. Not even the police were supposed to patrol the area because they didn’t bother to care enough for a place that was deemed sketchy, and probably illegal. Not their business at all.

At some point, the soju and cognac naturally became water to the idol and made him feel something the past two weeks couldn’t do. He cracked, going with the “alcohol can make it better” route he hasn’t done so for a while. He did contemplate his… other methods, but he couldn’t get it right away so this was probably the most convenient way.

He laughed to himself, in a pitied and disappointed way. If his past self saw him like this, the idol he “wanted to be,” he knew the younger him would want to punch present him in the throat for deciding to throw his life away. Because despite being one of the most renowned idols in the world, what the fuck was going on with him inside? He couldn’t help himself with all that was happening to him and the spotlight of V. In the morning, he read articles about death threats and dating scandals with another Blackpink member. Can reporters at least be creative with their fake news? He didn’t like the implied coverage of him running through the group.

He didn’t want to let it get to him, but as a human, it was hard not to. When things spread, it got frightening for him because he knew some of it wasn’t true. He couldn’t have issues that he could keep to himself. A handful of people always had to know, oftentimes before him too.

All these words made him feel discouraged and pressured but hid all his emotions and feelings away to not make anything worsen. Not let those online who read too much into his behavior speculate and spread rumors. But also not let those around him talk down upon him when he suppressed his happiness for theirs.

He fucking hated this. He was feeling too much and there was nothing he could do. He felt it all inside his chest, waiting for it to explode. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he did that within the first hour of drinking. He has been in the same spot for at least three hours. It was probably close to midnight but couldn’t give a single fuck.

He stared at his last unopened bottle, it was Yakult flavored. He never tried it before, only saw them on the shelves. But he couldn’t resist it because it somehow reminded him of you. You used to love Yakult, drinking it at least once a day. It was also because Taehyung gave you one every day to satisfy you.

The alcoholic taste was gone in his taste buds, so he assumed that it tasted like juice. Shrugging, he uncapped the bottle and lipped, gulping in a hefty amount in his mouth.

“Look at that man. Some worthless piece of shit.” Taehyung’s ears twitched at the voice. Turning his head to the sound, he spotted three men staring down at him in disgust. Examining the trio swaying and trying their best to keep still, they were tipsy. Despite being a famous individual, they don’t seem to realize it as their intoxicated minds overpowered their vision.

But Taehyung wasn’t about to ignore another stranger blatantly insulting him. Though with half of his mind only functioning, he lets more of his guard and restrains down. He became more reckless, and messier, and doesn’t give a fuck about consequences. His pride was the center of the cause and he was not about to let a low life say shit to him.

Using his palms, he pushed himself from the ground to stand tall. Well, unsteady but he supported himself with the building wall. He glared at the trio who seemed about the same size as him. At a glance, they looked much older but couldn’t see clearly with their bangs covering their eyes. “Dude, fuck off. You’re one to talk with your five-millimeter dick.” Taehyung slurred.

“The fuck did you say, you bastard?” The center, we’ll call him the leader, a person garbled back as he stepped forward.

“Say it to his face.” The one on the left acted all tough.

“I did. You’re just so stupid, you can’t understand anything any human being says.” The idol snapped back and then glanced over at the other one.

“Acting all brave when you’re a skinny guy.” The one on the right finally came up and slightly pushed Taehyung but he was able to keep his balance.

“Pft, acting all that when you can’t even reach the cupboards above.” Taehyung spat back before hiccuping. “Now leave me alone. I minded my own business and you three shitheads should too.”

“Fuck that, you’re gonna get down on your knees and apologize for what you fucking did.” The leader butted in, getting more riled up than before.

“I didn’t do shit. I’m not apologizing.” The idol shook his head.

“We’ll get it out of you.” The leader came forth and was about to punch Taehyung in the face. But Taehyung threw a jab on the leader’s cheek. The guy fell back on his butt on the ground, caressing his pained cheek. “Ahh, you fucker! You’re gonna get this!”

Then all of sudden, the other two helped his friend by attacking the lonesome idol. But little did they know, Taehyung has had experience with situations like this.

-

It was the day of the talent show and Taehyung was fearfully worried. He has been practicing day and night and right after school whilst dragging you along with him. You stayed up with him the night before to help him with pronunciation, support, and anything he needed.

This was his first time singing in front of an audience and you were so excited for him. You knew he was going to do well. He always had a beautiful singing voice. It was so worthy enough for him to be an artist, an idol, anything to do with his talent. But you also knew how nervous he was. You had to hold him and run your fingers through his hair last night to calm him down. You cheered him on, praised him, and gave him pep talks, but yet his unconscious thinking dragged him down.

An hour before the talent, his family did quick errands and bought flowers to congratulate Taehyung, leaving you alone with him at his house. You both were dressed up and ready. Him in black dress pants and an ivory buttoned-down shirt while you were in a sage-green dress. Your best friend wanted to do last-minute rehearsals before you left for school.

You clapped proudly as you sat on his bed, watching him finish the song at the end of it. You bounced off and flattened your skirt. “Hyungie, that was amazing. I’m so excited!”

“I felt like I was off-key at the end.” He frowned, criticizing his perfect practice. “Let me do it ag—”

“Taehyung, you did great. There’s no need to practice again. You’ve been practicing so much, you’re gonna hurt your vocal cords.”

“Blue, I know but—”

“No buts.” You squeezed his shoulder as a sign of comfort. “Sit down and rest a little before we leave. I’ll make some tea for you.” He nodded and sat down on his desk chair.

Once you left his room, his thoughts occupied him. He knew how agitated he was. It was because he wanted to do well. He wanted to perform and showcase his talent to not only you but his family, friends, heck, everyone in the school. Sure, there was no winning or losing, but the pride was still there to brag about how well you did.

But this was really for him to prove himself. Though having many other talents, he wanted to think that he was a good enough singer. He enjoyed singing, perhaps even using it to make a career as an idol. But that sounded too far-fetched.

It was the self-confidence he lacked drastically. He couldn’t help but think lowly and envisioned embarrassing himself in front of everyone, giving them and him no hope in his singing. You told him otherwise, and it did help him throughout the weeks before the talent show. But now being on less than an hour before the talent show, every bit of assurance flew out the window and now the negative notions began shining.

Was there even hope for him? How much does he believe to actually go through with this? Maybe he can drop out last minute? He doesn’t think the amount of work and effort he did was enough. Will he disappoint you? His family? The entire school? Himself? He was going to do a shitty job, he just knew.

His hands suddenly became clammy, opening and closing his trembling fists. His breathing felt like it dropped, making him feel choked up and find it difficult to even inhale. The beating of his heart increased rapidly, unable to catch up with it. He winced as the pressure worsened. He got out of his seat hastily, pacing around his room.

He couldn’t process everything clearly, he was getting antsy and afraid by the second. His uncontrollable eyes moved around his surroundings as he felt his tear ducts swell up from the overwhelming state of his body. It was happening again, but this was the worst one yet.

He tried those breathing exercises you taught him to do. “D-Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” He respired quiveringly, but after a few attempts, it didn’t feel like it was working. “Come on, Taehyung. Breathe.” He lets out an alarmed sob. It wasn’t getting better, and he couldn’t come up with anything else.

Unknowing of his episode, you entered calmly into his room with a fresh cup of tea for him. Once you closed the door behind you, you turned around. “Taehyung, I got yo—” You spotted him all frazzled, wheezing, and weeping. He walked all over his room, feeling out of control.

“Bl-Blue!” He wept, going towards you. “I-I’m scared. Pl-Pl-Please.” He grabbed your unoccupied hand into his quaking ones.

You placed the cup down on his table, so your hands were fully occupied with his. “Hyungie, let’s do the deep breaths. You got this. You remember those, right?” Your voice balanced, and relaxed as possible.

He shook his head and cried, “I tried it. It doesn’t work.” He began heaving heavily. You rushed him to sit down on his bed and you followed for support.

You had to think fast about what other things you could do. If deep breathings weren’t enough there has to be something else that can help. Questions? You didn’t have anything cold. Closing your eyes. Maybe distractions?

“Hey, Hyungie. Look at me. Focus on me.” You squeezed his hands. His moving eyes hurriedly gazed at you. “Remember that one song we learned. I love that song and its lyrics.”

 He shook his head again. “Wh-What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you remember it?” You ignored his questioning. “How ‘bout singing me them, come on? I’ll sing with you too.”

“Blue? I ca—”

“Come on. Just you and me, Hyungie.” You encouraged his panicked state.

-

“Are you sure you want us to leave you from here?” Jimin asked through the rolled-down passenger window. As promised, they took you back to the restaurant. They were willing to wait for you so that they could drop you off at home but you denied. You didn’t want them to know where you lived because it was in a bad area, and they probably had a busy day tomorrow. You didn’t want to bother them for too long.

“Oh, I’m sure!” You promised, shouldering your bag. “I live pretty close to here anyway.” Technically, you needed to ride the bus but that wasn’t anything you didn’t do before.

“Yah, why is this in a scary area?” Hoseok was in the backseat, looking around the area through the tinted window.

“Ahh, it’s not scary. Trust me. I’ve always left here around this time.” You reassured, trying to ease their worries. “I just don’t go down the road we drove through.”

“Yeah, we should take another route,” Namjoon suggested from the backseat, scrolling through his phone. “I think I saw a drug exchange and it’s not sitting right with me. I feel like an accomplice.”

“___, are you really sure?” Jungkook asked once more, ducking down from the driver’s seat to look at you.

“I’m perfectly fine, I promise.” You smiled. “Thank you for dinner and paying. I appreciate it. Jungkook, send my number to everyone.” Jungkook clicked his tongue and threw a finger gun at you.

“Anytime, ___. We’re grateful to have spent time with you.” Jimin chirped happily.

“Call or text us any time!”

“I guess, I’ll get going inside so bye!” You waved your goodbye. They said theirs back and watched you go into the restaurant before they drove off.

Once you flung the tarp open, Kenji was about to yell that they were closed until he saw you again. “Oh, why are you back?”

“I forgot my phone in my apron.” You sighed as you headed towards the hooks. “You know when I was manhandled out of the place.” Your coworker laughed as he started putting up the chairs. You dug into your apron pocket and finally retrieved your phone.

Through your Lock Screen, you noticed many messages and calls. The most recent ones were from Jungkook and unknown numbers, which were probably the other boys. Some messages were from Kenji, but they were irrelevant since most of them were memes. But what intrigued you the most was that there were twelve missed calls and messages from Taehyung. The messages consisted of where you were, how are you, please tell him if you were okay, and other concerns he had.

These were the first contacts from him in a while, telling you that he never bothered giving up. Your lips curled slightly at the thought before you put your device into your pocket. “I guess I’ll get going again. Thanks for covering my shifts.” You announced.

“No need to thank me. It wasn’t bad.” Kenji shrugged. You were about to take your leave before he called for you. “By the way, Taehyung Hyung came to the restaurant and asked about you.”

You stopped your track, diverting your head to your coworker. “H-he came?”

Kenji crooned in response. “Yeah, it was a little while after you left. I just told him you were casually out with his members.” Though it was casual, you spectated that Taehyung could have possibly thought worse of it, especially since you two still weren’t on talking terms yet.

“Do you know where he went?” You gulped, growing concerned.

“No, he didn’t say. Just dipped out.” Your coworker informed. “He was probably pissed that he wasn’t invited.“ Maybe, or maybe even more.

You nodded again before saying your goodbyes. Once he said goodnight, you were out of the restaurant with your phone back in your hands as you wondered where Taehyung was. He may have gone back home, but you weren’t so sure. You could text any of the boys if they knew, but you weren’t so sure if they did since they were with you the entire time. They also mentioned the rest of the members were busy. But now you were questioning how busy Taehyung was if he managed to come here for you.

Calling him should be okay since he texted you back. It should be okay to do so. It would also mean that you were good with him again. As you began your way to the bus stop, you pressed on his contact to call. But after long-awaited rings, it went straight to voicemail. So you called again, but again with the voicemail. Deja vu…

Shaking your head at that thought, you left a voicemail. “Hey, Taehyung. I saw your calls and text. Sorry, I couldn’t answer right away. I left my phone back in the restaurant. I also found out you stopped by. Call me when you received my message…” You were feeling alarmed for an odd reason. “Stay safe, okay?” You ended the voicemail and threw your phone back into your bag.

You couldn’t understand the tingling sensation inside of you. It left you uncomfortable, almost like something was wrong but there was nothing to be concerned about. Your night was restful and enjoyable. The members were indeed affable and kind towards you. Though you were a bit shy with your responses, they knew how to ease you in. They knew how to make people comfortable; you admired that trait of theirs.

While you were walking quietly, you then heard thumps and grunts at a distance. It didn’t stop your feet though, you clutched onto your bag as you pushed yourself to get through. It could be a couple doing public indecency, a burglar, or maybe even a murder. Usually common in areas like this.

But the one thing you had to remember was to protect yourself, so you weren’t about to get into other people’s business and suffer. Unless it was an innocent bystander, you carried pepper spray with you at all times.

The volume of the noises increased as you continued your way. It was until you reached an alleyway that you noticed four figures over each other. It seemed like a fight, but in addition to the emptied bottles you found through your scrutiny, it was a drunken fight.

Because of that, it was not your business, and was about to leave the premises when you heard a shout. “Fuck off!” That voice…was familiar. But senses could deceive you, so you were battling your curiosity with your rationale. You were alone, with nothing but pepper spray and your hands as self-defense, but still, it wasn’t enough if it would be four against one.

Yet if you left, you’d have some sort of guilt if it was someone you knew. But then again, who would it even be? Kenji? He was still at the restaurant. There wouldn’t be anyone you knew, unless—

The sound of glass shattering broke through your mind. You sneakingly stepped forth at the end of the alleyway. You hid behind trashed boxes, observing the people fighting. The streetlights were dimmed and blinking. You were able to see faces and silhouettes, but they were still a bit unclear. 

You squinted your eyes. A man held a broken bottle while two stood in front of him. One was on the ground possibly passed out. But you noticed liquid near his head, and it didn’t look like a good sign.

“You fucking killed him!” One of them shouted at the man holding the glass.

“No, I didn’t!” That very man screamed, and it sounded very distinct.

“Yes, you did. You murdered my friend!” Another yelled back.

“No, I didn’t!” The man repeated, voicing out through a sob. Then the two figures attacked him, coming from his sides. They threw punches, kicks, and blows at his body but the man was still standing strong, being able to take both of them. “I’m not a murderer!” He grunted as his back slammed on the concrete wall, throwing down the broken glass.

Through that angle, you were given a vivid image of him. Once you saw it, you swore your heart dropped.

A teary-eyed Taehyung swung his arms and aimed at their face and kicked their chest. One fell back and groaned while the other held his stomach. “I’m not a murderer! You’re hurting me! You’re hurting me!” The vein on his neck was prominent and straining as he kept shouting. He kicked the man on the ground in the chest while he kneed the other in the stomach again.

The two were on the ground, groaning in pain and moving weakly. Taehyung panted, looking down at them. You watched him lean on the wall for support before he covered his face with his palms. You heard soft crying coming out of his mouth, twisting your heart in ache. How did he even get here? How did this happen?

Your thoughts remained, but they were immediately pushed back when you scrutinized him more. His body was notably shaking, even at the distance you were in. He jerked his hands in the air as if it would alleviate him. You could hear his harsh wheezing densely as he began circling the three men on the ground.

It was as if your body was on high alert because you felt yourself running toward him. You curved and jumped over the men to get to him. He then felt another figure coming towards him and was about to get defensive again until he found your eyes, eyes that knew how to calm him down.

“Bl-Blue.” His voice cracked through his heaves, stepping away from you. His eyes went out of control as he looked over at the unconscious men, making him realize you saw him like this. Saw him in a way you have never seen him before.

He feared the worst.

Then all the fears from within traveled from his stomach to out of his mouth, retching all the liquids he consumed on the concrete. You shifted away from the vomit. His throat burned furiously as he gagged the intoxication and dizziness out. Tears pearled down his face and his nose reddened by the forced action.

As he somehow managed to finish, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. But his hyperventilation intensified as he whined at the piercing pain within his chest. Holding where his heart was, he folded down. Before he could crash down, you hooked an arm under his form and guided him away from the scene. Your steps were wider and brisk until you stopped at the corner that had boxes stacked enough for him to not look at what happened.

You helped him stand steadily with cautious hands on his shoulders. “___, I-I-can’t breathe.” He squeaked, his body convulsing under your touch. Despite the signs of a panic attack, when he was in this state, he always needed a loved one’s touch.

“I’m sorry. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. Let’s do deep breaths.” You shushed him. You led some exercises you recalled from your memories. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. But it wasn’t working as he shook his head, the breathing was still weighted and tears slipping out of his puffed eyes.

You focused on him, being as peaceful as possible. It wouldn’t help the situation if you were the opposite. You had to think fast, attempting to recollect past things you’ve done. But it was such a long time ago; it was challenging you. You didn’t think he still had them after he overcame his stage fright, but this was probably for a different reason and his coping stayed constant. 

But the pleading eyes of Taehyung ached you, wanting nothing more but to help him be free from his episode. You didn’t have anything you used to help him.

Then your eyes lit up at a method, one that worked every time.

“Tae—Taehyung, focus on me. Your eyes on me, okay? Can I hold your hands?” His tensed eyes landed on your solaced ones. He nodded before your hands made their way down until you grasped onto his hands tightly. The feeling of your touch soothed his fragile condition. “Do you remember that one song we learned when we were in middle school?”

“A-A song?” His lips trembled in fear.

“Yeah, let’s focus on that because I forgot how much I loved it! Do you remember it?” You smiled joyfully, scrunching your nose.

“D-Do you…mean…” He gasped as the pain pinched his heart, causing him to fall forward. But you kept his support, carrying some of his weight through your arms. You motioned him to sit down on one of the boxes. While he did so, you bent down on your knees to meet his eye level.

“I’ll start it, okay?” You told him and he couldn’t get a word out but he kept his gaze and nodded. “Okay.” You let go of one of his hands so you could snap your fingers to the beat in your mind, doing a little shoulder dance and sounding soft tickings as the introduction. You were trying to ease him away from tension.

“L is for the way you look at me,” You sang merrily as you looked at him. “Your turn.”

“O-O...is for…the only…one…I see,” He sang slower while you silently mouthed the lyrics for him to follow, but his breathing control got better. You nodded as your smile grew wider.

“You’re doing so well,” You praised. “V is very, very extraordinary,” You pointed at him and tried your best with that high note where you found his lips curling.

“E-E is even more than anyone that you adore,” He stayed on tempo, but still shaky. Yet you were so proud. He inhaled deeply and exhaled.

“All together!” You expressed. His trembling hands came back to your calming ones before you decided to lace your fingers together. You swayed your intertwined hands side to side with the unheard beat when the two of you chorused, “Can love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two.”

“Two in love can make it,” You vocalized, while you saw his eyes weeping out more tears. You let go of him. Your thumbs reached out to wipe them off his face but kept your palms on his cheeks.

“Take my heart, and please don't break it.” Though he sang perfectly, his voice cracked with his bawling. He wrapped his hands around your wrists, holding you in place.

“Love was made for me and you,” You sang together and you motioned one more time for the ending. “Love was made...for me…and you.” You both held out the last note, but it was slightly off from Taehyung’s cries. But it was all okay because you saw that he felt a lot better and his breathing became stabilized once again.

Only the noises of his sniffing and breathing rang through your ears as your glassy eyes stayed on him, waiting for his green light. But unexpectedly, he slithered his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap. He kept his grip tight as he buried his face into your chest. 

Your body hardened, but then felt the familiar warmth he gave out like when you were younger. Not wanting to reject him after his episode, you let it be and circled your arms around his torso. When he realized you didn’t push him away, he cried in relief. The wetness of his tears drenched your shirt, but you didn’t bother to care. You rubbed his back and rocked yourselves while humming a random tone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Blue.” He chanted into your skin, having light hiccups in between.

“You’re fine, Hyungie. You’re good, you did so well. No more fears right now.” You hushed as his weeping remained. 

You took it all in, never having any doubts at this moment. All you wanted right now was to make all his troubles go away. It was hard, but it wasn’t impossible. And you would do them in a heartbeat because now you took the first step of having him back in your life.

Accepting him. All of him. 

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe @tan-veee

[mdverse]

teehee you told me to drop by so i'm asking the most important question of them all.... of the main new directions who do they bias in bts and how much do they like bts 🤭

hi u are so real for this sorry this has taken me a while to get to!! been trying to organise my thoughts but i'm still not fully set on things. i guess ill do this from like. most to least likely to enjoy bts? (also i will say i have thoughts on the vb au squad specifically! i don't remember them in detail and they're probably similar to what i've written here but i def remember talking about it with mist)

tina: 100% most likely to be an army also def a once and a sone but that's not relelvant here! girlie has taste and i love that for her <3 she has jimin stan energy to me, i think she'd see the similarities between him and mike and she'd have a major soft spot for that

sugar: not technically one of the main new directions but i wanted to include her anyway bc i bet she loves bts. she has that vibe. she'd have all the merch and could very easily spend hundreds of dollars on concert tickets for herself and tina and anyone else who wanted to come. idk how she'd feel about the older eras but she'd def be a fan of the more poppy songs (maybe hyyh-onwards? def enjoys the LY/MOTS eras). probably a big vocal line fan, specifically jin and possibly jungkook as a bias wrecker

brittany: i think she'd enjoy bts a lot tbh! idk if she'd dive deep into fan theories or keep up with stuff like run bts but she'd def vibe with their music and i would kill to see her do the dance challenges or even full dance covers. i'd say she's hobi-biased but also just a big fan of 3J/sunshine line

blaine: i think he'd enjoy their more recent eras! mainly LY/MOTS-onwards i think? he has boy with luv/dynamite vibes. major jungkook stan in my head but i think he would really enjoy joon's lyrics/writing style

mike: def introduced to bts through tina dkfjgh but i think he'd get sucked in by the dance practices and the live performances even if the music itself isn't necessarily stuff he'd listen to! probably a 3J stan, if i had to pick one i'd very hesitantly say jimin

santana: idk if she'd listen to them regularly but. i do think she'd vibe a lot with agust d's albums? and i also think she'd find mono and indigo really soothing. epiphany would alter her brain chemistry and no one can tell me otherwise! i know for a fact that she would cry at that song. namgi fan

quinn: casual bts listener i think? def a joon stan tho i don't make the rules here!! i do also think she'd enjoy jin's voice a lot

artie: i feel like bts would be a guilty pleasure for him? idk if he'd be super invested but he would enjoy some of their music and he would def have an appreciation for the mvs! musically i'd say he enjoys tae the most but he def thinks jimin is ridiculously pretty

sam: hmmm sam is one i feel much less familiar with. mist said u guys have talked about blamtina being armys together and i can kinda see that? he does also kinda seem like he'd consider them a guilty pleasure to me tho. jin or jungkook stan energy

mercedes: secondhand fan through tina! idk if she'd listen to them on her own but if tina is around she doesn't mind listening to them. there's bound to be at least one song that hits hard for her but idk what it is rn. i think she'd appreciate tae's voice the most?

kurt: also introduced to them through tina! idk if i see him being much of a kpop fan but i do think he'd appreciate the aesthetics and the artistry of it all. i think he'd like jungkook bc he gets blaine vibes from kookie? alternatively there's sth about him that makes me think jimin stan

puck: bts doesn't really have much rock music so i guess puck wouldn't be super interested in most of it but i feel like there are probably a few songs he might enjoy just vibe-wise? maybe stuff like stigma, house of cards? i also inexplicably get a hip hop fan vibe from him despite that not being a thing in canon so i could potentially see him vibing with their earlier eras and stuff like the cyphers and being biased towards the rap line? but i'm not very set on that

finn: doesn't strike me as much of a kpop fan tbh but i think there are a couple of songs here and there he might like (fake love rocking mix!). idk if he'd actually ever remember any of their names tho kdfjgh he'd probably pick a different bias every time he's asked bc he never pays enough attention to recognise any of them

rachel: does not have kpop fan vibes to me at all but i find it hard to read her so i could be wrong there? idk i don't think she'd really listen to their music since she is so showtunes to me. that being said i think if she had to pick a fav it would be jungkook if only bc of the gold star/golden maknae association

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

Previous chapter | Next chapter | Masterlist

Ch. 25: Approval

Yoongi’s first week home came and went and before he knew it, Hyeri was heading off at 6 in the morning for her first day of work on her new drama. He woke up to see her off feeling full from her excited smile as she bounced out the door in glee. A few hours later he grabbed his things and took off for his studio.

There’s a chill that shoots through Yoongi’s body when he takes his first steps into the company building. He’s trying to remain optimistic as he steps on the elevator and gets hit with a storm of anxiety. The fear starting to cloud his mind before he even makes it to his floor has him feeling suffocated. Once he realized how truly afraid he was of being back in his old tempting environments, he couldn’t seem to shake the dark cloud creeping in telling him that he’d end up falling back into the same shit he was in before.

When he steps into his studio he’s immediately hit with the memory of the last time he was there. It’s actually a bit of a fuzzy memory, he was pretty fucked up at that time. He shudders then takes a look around. Everything in his studio has remained largely untouched. He can tell a few things were moved a little, likely from someone searching for any hidden bottles. Other than that the place is spotless.

He takes a seat in his chair and lets out a deep breath. It shouldn’t be this difficult, but just getting started takes him about 10 minutes of idly sitting there spinning slowly in his chair before he finally powers his computer on and gets to work. It’s rocky at first, keeping his focus for more than a few minutes at a time is proving difficult. But just like the glass of water in the desert that she is, he gets a text from Hyeri that gives him the boost he needs.

[Hyeri]: My first day is going great so far! I don’t have much time, I just wanted to tell you I love you and I’m proud of you 😘

Yoongi takes a deep breath and smiles. Somehow she’s always there at the right time.

[Yoongi]: You give me so much strength, my love. I’m proud of you too and I’ll never stop loving you ❤️

That’s all it took. One of seven people he has the deepest love for is cheering him on. He can do this. He cracks open his bottle of iced coffee and dives head first into his music.

Minho suggested he start easy when he returns to work. If things start to feel overwhelming then he should call it a day and allow himself time to relax and recharge. Hours fly by and Yoongi is nowhere near stopping. The anxiety he felt coming into the building has been washed away in a decaffeinated wave of confidence and determination. He’s got 2 months worth of music to go through and polish and he’s fired up getting through song after song. He’s only pulled out of his tunnel vision by a knock at his door.

“I didn’t know you were here,” Namjoon says when Yoongi opens the door for him.

“Yeah, I’ve been here since this morning,” Yoongi says inviting Namjoon to take a seat on the couch while he returns to his work chair.

“This morning?” Namjoon asks confused. “Like a few hours ago?”

“What? I mean early this morning. I got here around 9 I think.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon chuckles. “It’s 3 am, you’ve been here all day?”

“I have?” Yoongi questions looking at his phone that confirms it’s currently 3:15 am. “Shit,” he chuckles. “Yeah I guess I’ve been here all day.”

“Rainbow didn’t call you to come home yet?” Namjoon jokes.

“She usually doesn’t bother when I’m here,” Yoongi laughs. “I guess I should probably go, huh?”

“You’ve been here all day, hyung. Get some rest.”

“What about you? Why are you still here?”

“The usual. I was about to head out now though. You should come.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi swivels in his chair to start saving his work and shutting his computer down. “Need a ride?”

“You know I do,” Namjoon laughs.

Yoongi finishes gathering his things and the pair head down the quiet hall to the elevator. The building is mostly deserted at this hour aside from the two or three night owls quietly working away in their own spaces. They make it out to Yoongi’s car and take off.

“It’s good to see you back, hyung,” Namjoon says during the ride. Ever since they all got together for dinner upon Yoongi’s return Namjoon has been quite amazed at the difference. For two months the last image of Yoongi that was left in his mind was of him wreaking of alcohol while they hit him with an intervention that all of them had hoped wouldn’t have to happen. Now he looks like he’s back to his old self and smells like sweet lemon and ginger tea instead of booze.

“It’s good to be back,” Yoongi smiles. “And thank you.”

“I told you the other day you don’t have to thank me. You’re my bro.”

“I know, but I mean Hyeri. Thanks for looking out for her.”

“I always look out for her,” Namjoon chuckles. “She’s my sis.”

“I know that too,” Yoongi chuckles trying to find his way to the point he’s trying to make. “It’s just that you know I worry about her a lot and when I felt like I was so messed up that I couldn’t be there for her, I always felt better knowing you were there.”

“Of course,” Namjoon reiterates. “You’re both my family, if I can ever do anything to make sure my family doesn’t hurt, then I will.”

“That’s why you’re our leader,” Yoongi smiles. “I just know I can trust you with my life, and that includes Hyeri. She doesn’t have any siblings so you fill that space for her.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon says sensing some bit of nervousness from Yoongi. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

“What do you think about…marriage?”

“Marriage?” Of all things Namjoon could have guessed, marriage isn’t one of them.

“We talked about it and I can’t get the thought out of my mind. I might just be thinking crazy, but I’m not sure. What would happen if we got married? I’m crazy right? But if we did…would you be ok with it? Would everyone else be ok with it?” Yoongi is rambling as he tends to do when he’s nervous. Beads of sweat are starting to form on his forehead and he’s trying his best to hold his breath steady.

“Slow down.” Namjoon shakes his head. He’s a little endeared by how flustered Yoongi is when trying to discuss the topic, but he also feels he may be getting ahead of himself. “You’ve only been back home a week.”

“I know, it’s crazy.”

“Hyung chill. There’s a lot you need to think about first, like how no one even knows that you two are even dating. If you two show up married out of the blue what do you think people will think? Or maybe you could stay a secret, but you’ve already expressed how upsetting it is for you having to hide now, how long can you keep hiding when you’re married?”

“You’re right,” Yoongi sighs pulling up to Namjoon’s building.

“I’m not saying you should never do it, if that’s what you really want to do. I just want you to think about it. You can’t rush into this because there are some things you won’t be able to undo, you know?” Namjoon gives Yoongi a look that tells everything. A look telling Yoongi that regardless of how he feels, he has to think about the fans who could feel betrayed if he doesn’t approach things carefully.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “I understand.”

“Get some sleep.” Namjoon opens the door to exit the car. “I’ll see you later.”

Yoongi nods and watches Namjoon shut the door and enter his apartment building. He appreciates Namjoon’s input, and as the only person that knows both he and Hyeri the most, he’s happy he could get those feelings out to a knowing third party. Still, as he drives home he feels a little disappointed. He wanted Namjoon to be more on board with the idea, although his advice was absolutely correct, he just hoped to get a more solid vote of approval. Yoongi parks his car when he gets home wondering why he suddenly felt the need to get Namjoon’s approval, not as a fellow group member who would no doubt be effected by this, but as a close friend of Hyeri’s. As her family.

Yoongi isn’t surprised to see Hyeri still awake in bed when he gets home. He could hear her mumbling lines to herself as soon as he walked through the door then entered the bedroom to see her sitting up going over her script.

“You’re home?” She asks somewhat surprised.

“You didn’t think I would be?” Yoongi chuckles. He drops his things near the door where he’ll pick them back up in a few hours after he gets some sleep and heads right back to the studio.

“Usually you stay the night in your studio when you stay this late,” she says putting her script aside and rolling towards him while he removes his clothes.

“Did you want me to?” He lays next to her and wraps his arms around her.

“No,” she chuckles. “I like it better when you’re here.”

“You can thank Namjoon for that. He talked me into coming home for some rest. I didn’t even know it was this late.”

“Of course Namjoon was there too,” she jokes. “What’s he been working on?”

“I’m not sure, we didn’t even talk about music.”

“The two of you not talking about music? That’s crazy!” She jokes. “What did you guys talk about then?”

“Well…” Yoongi hesitates unsure if he should tell her he brought up getting married. Maybe now isn’t the time. Namjoon was right, he should slow down. “Just a little bit of everything.”

“Right,” she nods unconvinced.

“Why are you still up anyway?” He asks trying to change the subject. “Don’t you have an early call tomorrow…or today I guess?”

“I just wanted to run through my lines one more time.”

“At nearly 4 in the morning?”

“I didn’t get home until two,” she giggles. “Now that you’re here I can get some sleep.”She snuggles closer to him and he kisses her forehead.

Through the course of the week the routine stays the same. Hyeri leaves extra early, Yoongi leaves hours later. They both get home at incredibly late hours, usually within a couple of hours of each other. Then they wake up hours later and repeat the process. Yoongi likes the routine, it gives him a new alcohol free normal.

The following week Yoongi has his session with Minho. He’s in brighter spirits this time talking about the songs he’s been working on, the plan he and the guys are working on for their next comeback, and his excitement for the future. Of course Minho brought up marriage and going public and Yoongi told him about the talk he had with Namjoon. While Yoongi spoke about how he felt Namjoon was completely right and he should slow down and really think before doing anything drastic, Minho noticed a slight shift in his tone. Even though Yoongi doesn’t realize it, he began speaking softer and almost as if he were a child talking about how he wanted something for Christmas but his parents said he wasn’t old enough for such a thing. Yoongi quietly commented that he was a little let down that Namjoon wasn’t 100% on board, and that’s when Minho made the realization.

“Have you brought this up to the other members?” Minho asks.

“No,” Yoongi admits. “After talking to Namjoon I figured it’s not really necessary for me to bring it up to everyone.”

“Why did you decide to tell Namjoon about it?”

“He’s the one who knows me and Hyeri the most,” Yoongi shrugs. “If he thinks it’s a good or bad idea when it comes to her, then I trust him.”

“Right,” Minho nods. “Why did you feel let down though?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi mumbles looking down at his lap.

“What would have been a less disappointing reaction from him?”

“I don’t know,” he repeats. “I just thought he’d be a little more…excited? Supportive? No, he is supportive. Everything he told me was right, but something still felt like he wasn’t sure about it.”

“Sure about what?”

“Sure about…” Yoongi pauses to think. He knows he keeps talking in circles because he’s struggling to articulate what he’s really feeling, but Minho finally helps him out.

“Would you marry Hyeri if Namjoon was not ok with it?”

Yoongi remains silent.

“Would you continue dating Hyeri if Namjoon didn’t approve of it?”

Yoongi closes his eyes with his lips pressed shut.

“It’s not about the group, because you haven’t even brought it up to the others, so why do you feel you need Namjoon’s approval over anyone else’s?”

Yoongi sighs and opens his eyes. “He’s her brother. If I were to propose to her I would want her family’s approval first. He’s her family.”

“Do you feel like he disapproves?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi groans. “He wasn’t really clear whether he approves or not, he just told me I should slow down, which is fine I understand his point, but I was hoping he would be more…enthused.”

Minho cracks a small smile. He only wanted Yoongi to say it so that he could face it. Yoongi knows that too and as much as he grits his teeth, he knows he won’t stop feeling a bit down about it if he doesn’t acknowledge and work through it. He knows he’s done a lot of things to betray everyone’s trust, so he feels Namjoon is just cautious not wanting Hyeri to get hurt. This thought only turns into a self depreciating cycle in his mind where he has visions of every drink, every stranger, every lie he told that chipped away at everyone’s trust in him until he became nothing but a heavy burden and a liability. He did this to himself.

He thought he had worked through a lot of these feelings, but as one wound was treated, there was another that had been ignored.

Sometimes you have to hurt to heal.

All of the nights Yoongi did everything in his power to ignore those feelings only caused those wounds to go untreated and get infected. Now he’s having to feel the pain he tried to avoid as the scabs are ripped off and the wounds are treated the way they should have been in the first place.

Yoongi goes above and beyond with everything he does these days. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, so in the meantime he’s just trying to get by. Trying to get by, by overcompensating for every fault that exists in his mind. He assists in any project he can when discussing the group’s comeback plans. He gets home in the wee hours of the night and finds the energy to make Hyeri a small breakfast that she can have on her way to work in the morning. He then wakes up with her after only a few hours of sleep to see her off and give her a loving start to her day. When he’s at the studio he entertains anything the members bring him and offers whatever time he can to doing whatever they ask. He feels it’s the least he can do for times that can’t be undone.

Yoongi has been home a month now. He’s been back on his regular work schedule for three weeks, and he’s been slowly dissolving into a self deprecating yes-man. The good thing is that no one is looking to take advantage of him so he’s not being used or abused, however he’s not getting much sleep and it’s starting to show on his face. No one seems to notice though, except Minho.

Deadlines are approaching, track lists are being finalized, behind the scenes cameras are everywhere, and dance practices are starting up again. The new routine Yoongi molded into has been blown away and now he finds himself in the chaotic whirlwind of the comeback schedule. There’s no set date for the album yet, but as always there’s still a lot to be done before the public even knows a thing. Recordings, promo videos, photoshoots, endless meetings to discuss concepts, album designs, merchandise, and tour dates. The dreaded tour that Yoongi finds himself stressed out about. Thankfully there’s still quite a bit of time before he has to face that head on. For now, another of his past demons is returning to haunt him.

“Stay home? Why?” Yoongi asks his manager through the phone. He received the call at 7 am, just before he was about to leave for the studio. Suddenly being asked to stay home has his heart racing.

“The media is at the entrance,” his manager solemnly says. “It’s seems someone has caught wind of the lady who stole your Black card in LA. She was convicted and somehow a reporter here learned that you were one of her many victims. There’s….a lot of buzz right now and we just want to look out for your safety.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi groans. “It’s that bad?”

“We’ll be putting out a statement soon asking for privacy at this time, but until things calm down staying home would be best for you right now. If you need anything at all we can make sure you get it, but you should lay low.”

As if being secluded in a cabin for two months wasn’t enough laying low. How bad could the media be right now? And why? He’s a victim in this case, what do they want him to say? He sighs heavily and lays across the couch clutching his head. He had an entire day planned, what about that? With deadlines getting closer he can’t afford to lose time like this. Is it so bad that it’s worth this? He decides to check socials because he knows the trending tags will tell him.

The trending tags told him a lot.

[Yoongi]: Call me as soon as you can

[Yoongi]: Or come over

[Yoongi]: You should definitely come over

[itzymixy]

💖My Bias/Stan List💖

(This is your warning that this is going to probably be very long because I am a giant multi and have been in Fandoms for nearly 18 years also this list isn't really in any particular order and i have a habit of picking biases in groups even if i dont keep up with everything they do so if any of these people are super problematic then I'm probably not aware so sorry)

ITZY - Ryujin

(G)I-DLE - Soojin & Soyeon

BLACKPINK - Jennie

TWICE - Nayeon

LE SSERAFIM - Yunjin

NMIXX - Bae

AESPA - Ningning

XG - Cocona & Jurin

DREAMCATCHER - Yoohyeon & Siyeon

LOONA - Kim Lip

KISS OF LIFE - Julie

RED VELVET - Wendy & Seulgi

MAMAMOO - Wheein

NEW JEANS - Danielle

KATSEYE - Lara

SNSD - Sooyoung

2NE1 - CL

ATEEZ - Yeosang

BTS - Jimin

STRAY KIDS - Hyunjin & Felix

TXT - Yeonjun

ZEROBASEONE - Gunwook

ENHYPEN - Sunoo

THE BOYZ - New

CRAVITY - Hyeongjun

SEVENTEEN - Woozi

NCT DREAM - Chenle

NCT 127 - Haechan

WAYV - Xiaojun

EXO - Kai

KEP1ER - Xiaoting

EVERGLOW - E:U & Yiren

TRI.BE - Hyunbin

PIXY - Lola

SHINEE - Taemin

THE ROSE - Hajoon

PURPLE KISS - Chaein

STAYC - ISA

SOMI

CHUNGHA

JESSI

IVE - Wonyoung & Yujin

MONSTA X - Joohoney & Wonho

WOODZ

TREASURE - Jaehyuk

UNIS - Gehlee

ILLIT - Yunah

WEEEKLY - Monday

MOMOLAND - Ahin

IZ*ONE - Chaeyeon

CLC - Eunbin

IZNA - Mai

GOT7 - YUGYEOM

RIIZE - Wonbin

XIKERS - Junghoon

BOYNEXTDOOR - Leehan

FROMIS_9 - Nagyung

LOOSEMBLE - Hyeju

BIGBANG - Daesung

ASTRO - MJ

VIVIZ - Umji

I.O.I - Mina

WEKI MEKI - Doyeon

P1HARMONY - Jongseob

TRIPLE S - Yoohyeon

GOLDEN CHILD - Bomin

DAY6 - Wonpil

WESTERN ARTISTS/GROUPS

Taylor Swift

One Direction

Justin Bieber

Little Mix

Fifth Harmony

Glee Cast

Madison Beer

Yungblud

5SOS

Sabrina Carpenter

Paramore

Sleeping With Sirens

Billie Eilish

Dua Lipa

Demi Lovato

Miley Cyrus

Ariana Grande

Selena Gomez

James Arthur

The Vamps

Jonas Brothers

Slipknot

[embodyingchaos]

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა my masterlist of masterlists

last updated: 23rd january, 2024 newest: evermore — chapter four(george weasley x oc)

rules for requesting: ✮ disclaimer: i do romantic and platonic relationships, i do not do smut, i am okay with dark themes such as stalking, yandere, mentions of r*pe etc.

bts masterlist ❥ ot7 | mostly yoongi but may request any members finn wolfhard masterlist ❥ mike wheeler, richie tozier, trevor spengler, tyler | mostly richie and mike but may request any other finn played character or the man himself glee masterlist ❥ finn hudson, rory flanagan, joe hart | may request other characters but i won't promise i'll write for them bullet train masterlist ❥ tangerine, lemon, yuichi kimura | mostly tangerine at the moment harry potter masterlist ❥ neville longbottom, george weasley, draco malfoy, ron weasley | mostly neville and george but may req any other hp character rodrick heffley masterlist ❥ this is literally one character umbrella academy masterlist ❥ five hargreeves, ben hargreeves(umbrella&sparrow) | literally can req any of these three and i will write for them mhm mhm david dastmalchian masterlist ❥ polka-dot man, kurt goreshter | may request any other of his characters michael cera masterlist ❥ allan, scott pilgrim | may request any other of his characters martin freeman masterlist ❥ tim canterbury, john h. watson | may request any other of his characters random masterlist ❥ one piece live action sanji & buggy | may request the characters in the masterlist only, this masterlist is for the characters i fixate on but am not fully invested in a lot of the characters of a show or the actor in general

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

Ten tags and ten tunes

Thank you Aurora @fallevs for tagging me. I have 2 frequently played list. I'm gonna give you twenty songs :)

Rules: put your “on repeat” playlist on shuffle and share the top ten results — then tag ten people to do the same!

Playlist one: theme songs

1.Luminary- Joel Sunny

2.Pirates Of the Caribbean- cover by 2 cellos(remember smooth criminal from glee?)

3.Prologue (beauty and the beast 2017)

4.October -Adrian Berenguer

5.Death Of Cedric (Harry potter)- Patrick Doyle

6.Solas- Gibran Alococer

7.Only the beginning of Adventure -Chronicles of Narnia

8.Kingdom Dance- from Tangled

9.In this shirt- Joel Sunny

10.A Close Friend from Fantastic Beast and Where to find them.

All of these are masterpieces and my favourites too. I recommend you to try these

Now playlist 2: Recent finders

1.All you wonna do from musical "Six"- Aimie Atkinson

2.Something Just Like That- Chainsmokers, Coldplay

3.Savage Love-Jawsh 685,Jason Derulo, BTS

4.London Boy-Taylor Swift (Anthem for Henry x Alex from rwrb😁)

5.Billionaire- Travey McCoy, Bruno Mars

6.Drag Me Down- One Direction (Spotify knows you, Aurora 😉)

7.One Direction Medley -Anthem Lights(Spotify is crazy. It never played this for a long time)

8.Runnin' Home To You- From Flash (Grant Gustin)(this is one of my favourites)

9.Chantaje- Shakira(the queen), Maluma

10.All of me- John Legend (my favourite Blaine solo too)

These are pretty good songs too. I have 2 one direction songs, aaah.

Tagging, no pressure of course: @1908jmd ,@kurtsascot ,@mynonah ,@datshitrandom ,@mrsporcelain206 ,@bitbybitwrites ,@annepi-blog ,@esilher ,@gleefulpoppet ,@hkvoyage

I can share my playlist if you want too 😁

[candywife333]

You Can Have Him

Summary: I am having Jungkook's baby. That's right bitches, you heard me right. We had a one night stand and now I am going to make him pay in cash and chocolate doughnuts-- currency of the gods. No emotions, just mucho dinero. That's the motto for today. There's no way he can fall in love with a virtual freeloader right? Let's all pray that he doesn't for my sake and yours.

chubby reader x idol (loaded) jungkook

Disclaimer: This character of Jungkook is not a representation of the real life Jungkook. Keep in mind this is all fiction.

Mini- series

(haven't decided on how many parts. I guess however many it takes me to get my thoughts across)

PART 2 of Only Here for Food

You know when your bladder just can't hold in the piss and it has to empty itself under just about any circumstance? Well that was me right now, as I sauntered into HYBE. I used the wonderful bathroom on the first floor and with a jolly grin on my face went to the cafe. Their desserts were simply exquisite. "One new york classic cheese cake with a boba tea please". I clapped my hands , giggling in glee as I saw all the other options I couldn't wait to try every time I visited the HYBE building.

I took my aesthetic picture of the desserts as the employee who handed me the food smiled at me. Happiness is contagious, just like the plague and that is the best part about it. Trudging over to the BTS waiting room , I saw my favorite super squishy couch and sat on it, ready to eat my dessert and some bibimbap with pork belly I had made for lunch today.

I kept all my food on the table, having brought an abundant amount for the guys as well. They may like it, and if they didn't I had so many neighbors I could just distribute the food to. I dove into the bibimbap, moaning as the flavors hit my tastebuds. This is truly what I lived for, fatty oily sweet and savory rice loaded with greasy meat, spiced vegetables, and fried egg. Taehyung walked in, clearly surprised at what I had brought and my presence. "Hey Y/N , what are you doing here? Jungkook is in the recording room".

I smiled, "Oh, I didn't come for Jungkook necessarily. I was just going to give him papers that my lawyer drew up in case I saw him around the building. I actually just came here to eat and brought some food with me in case you guys wanted to try any. Made it all early this morning after my mommy pilates class". I chewed loudly with fervor, "Why don't you also try some food? I made bibimbap, japchae with tiger shrimp, fish cake stew with sausages, and kimbap. It's all home made".

Taehyung reluctantly took his first bite, and then it was game over. He sat there eating the food with me as I showed him reruns of different series I was watching. I showed him how I was midway through death note and my plans to dress up as a Shinigami this halloween. I was also knitting a shinigami inspired scarf with apples laced all throughout. He chuckled and laughed with me.

The rest of the guys filtered in, behooved to see Taehyung get along so well with Y/N. They saw the abundance of food, and Jin was the first to serve himself a plate, exclaiming and gesticulating ,"So good Y/N, so good, you are truly a goddess. I was just missing home made food so much". The rest of the guys also decided to chow down, trying to steal the cheesecake from Y/n as she was slowly eating it, attempting to prolong the experience.

Jungkook walked in, sweaty and tired from recording his new track for a feature when he saw Y/n. His face contorted into disgust. What the hell was this girl doing here again? Wasn't setting up a child support plan after his unfortunately positive paternity test enough for her?

He loudly stomped in the room, slapping his doc martens against the ground. Y/N heard the noise and looked up to see him. "Hi JK, want to try some food? I just made it this morning. Took me two hours, but I wanted to bring a treat for all of you just in case. Was supposed to go on a picnic today with my boy toys but I thought I would feed you guys instead". Jungkook nodded his head with pure defiance and rage, till a singular word filtered through his brain, boy toys?!?!! He shrieked in a fury, "What the hell do you mean by boy toy women? What type of males are you frolicking with? Are you getting run through by every damn male out there?"

Y/N weakly smiled, "I mean, I wish I had the braveness to cavort with every handsome man I met. But I am just too scared of STDs you know. Trust me on this though JK, if STDs never existed, I would fuck my way through an entire fraternity. I have the stamina of a stallion". She proceeded to imitate a neighing of a horse, as the boys all tried not to choke, aspirate, and die on their food.

Y/n continued, "I just came here to talk to you about honoring the part of our agreement that talks about baby time twice a week. Twice a week I will be here so we can have our baby interaction time , so as a dad you can be close to the baby". Jungkook was ready to rip all his hair out of his head. What the hell was she talking about? Then he remembered the part of the contract which stipulated that he was supposed to meet her twice a week to interact with the baby as it was in the womb and for one year post partum.

"Just let me know once you are ready, and we will go into a private room so you can touch the baby directly-- you know skin to skin contact and all". The boys tried to not laugh openly at Jungkook as he stared at y/N horrified of her request. They all filtered out immediately. Namjoon stated somberly, "Jungkook you can use this room with Y/N, I will close the door so you and her can have private time with the Baby".

Jungkook timidly walked over to Y/n and sat next to her. She emanated the scent of fresh laundry and coconuts, very appealing and nothing that he had ever smelled on any of the girls he usually bedded. Y/n lifted up her dress and Jungkook was shell shocked to see red lacy panties stretched down due to a surprisingly round baby bump the size of a small melon. Her thighs were thick and glistening with moisture . He almost had the urge to bite her thighs. Wait, what the fuck, where was this thought coming from?!

Y/N lifted one eyebrow, "Aren't you going to touch the baby? Don't be scared by my pussy, don't worry, it won't bite. It will maintain its distance, it is well trained and domesticated". Jungkook's hands slightly trembled as he placed both of them on either side of her stomach. He felt the warmth of her silky skin radiating through his hands, as an unwarranted image of Y/N with his cum stuffed up her pussy and his cum sprayed all over her pregnant stomach ambushed him. He jolted away, hands moving away due to the sudden unbidden thought invading his mind, infiltrating his brain.

He asked softly with concern, "Is this normal for your stomach to be this big for two months?" Y/N cooly replied, "They are actually twins. I am preparing cribs and clothes for them. Double the work actually, but I can't wait". She giggled, nose scrunching up and mirth in her eyes. Jungkook saw how beautiful she was, for the first time since he consciously met her.

Y/N squealed out, "Ok now Mr Jungkook. Hands off the goodies. Visitation hours are over". She flipped down her dress as Jungkook now couldn't get the image of her ripe swollen stomach and panties out of his mind. She clouded his thoughts so quickly, no wonder he got her pregnant he mused to himself.

The members came back in as Y/N stared at her phone, watching death note on youtube with Jimin who snuggled up next to her. Jungkook felt a flash of envy thunder through his body as he saw the mother of his kids so close to Jimin. He shouldn't feel this way, but he did. A model named Jin Hee, from one of their previous photo shoots came over to Jungkook and sidled up to him.

Jin Hee held on to Jungkook's arm and started talking to him, flirting with him, as Y/N watched the scene unravel from the corner of her eye. She had great peripheral vision, took her vitamin A and carrot intake very seriously, thank you very much. As Jungkook sat down now, Jin Hee sat so close to him, she might as well be on his lap. Jin Hee was clearly trying to prod Y/N to breaking since the news had spread quickly about Jungkook's baby momma. Everybody knew who Y/N was in the HYBE building.

Jin Hee, a stereotypically thin model had been vying for Jungkook's attention for the longest time. She did not want to lose to a fat pregnant non celebrity baby momma. Y/N calmly put her phone down next to her, to the confusion of Jimin. In a calm voice that could slice a human's flesh with its sharpness, she drawled out firmly, eyes facing Jin Hee, "You can have him you know. I don't fight over community dick. If you want him, you can have him. You clinging to him like a baby koala is making you look desperate. I am not jealous of you in the least. My eyes are on a different prize, and Jungkook is not it. I eat leftovers usually, but if Jungkook was a left over, I would throw him in the trash".

[kakashi-fangirl-ita-blog]

All the things I'm into:

Manga/Anime:

Pandora Hearts

Hetalia

Bungou Stray Dogs

Vanitas no Carte

Mob Psycho 100

Black Butler

Akatsuki no Yona

Witch Hat Atelier

Noragami

Soul Eater

Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood)

Beastars

One Piece

Naruto

Death Parade

Banana Fish

Trigun

Violet Evergarden

Detective Conan

Ouran Host Club

Kimi ni Todoke

Kamisama Kiss

Twin Princess

Magi The Labytinth of Magic

Mermaid Melody

Tokyo Mew Mew

Owari no Seraph

Hanako-kun

Sailor Moon

Nadja Applefield

Spy x Family

Princess Tutu

Cartoons:

Hazbin Hotel

Voltron

My Little Pony

Avatar The Last Airbender

The Owl House

Code Lyoko

Helluva Boss

Winx

Huntik

Wolverine and the X-Men

Arcane

Books:

Riordanverse (Percy Jackson >>>)

Grishaverse (Six of Crows >>>)

Solitaire

Tv series:

Shadow and Bone

Anne With an E

Julie and the Phantoms

Sherlock BBC

Heartstopper

Criminal Minds

The Last of Us

Glee (...)

Webtoons:

Hooky

I Love Yoo

Marionetta

Seasons of Blossom

School Bus Graveyard

Lumine

19 Days

Here U Are

Lalin's Curse

Lore Olympus

The Blind Prince

Games/Movies/Musicals/Groups:

Genshin Impact

Disney movies

Barbie movies

Spiderverse movies (not MCU ones, just the Miles Morales ones)

Notre Dame de Paris (musical italiano)

Hamilton The Musical

Dear Evan Hansen

Six The Musical

The Book of Mormon

Waitress

Tick Tick Boom

Kpop groups (BTS, Twice, Red Velvet, Ateez, Ive, Le Sserafim, Loona, (G)-Idle, Stayc, Weeekly, NewJeans, Stray Kids, TxT, Itzy, BlackPink, IU, Chung ha, SHINee)

Panic! At the disco (rip)

ONE OK ROCK

[shysoftbebe]

You Matter, I don’t. {BTS x Reader}

BTS x Reader

You’re there to ensure they live.

~*~*~

A gun-shot brings the music to halt, the air itself stills for a brief moment and screams tear through the air less than a second later.

You plaster yourself against the wall, Luna follows your move as people crash into each other, some tripping others running over them as the exit doors slam shut, men blocking them.

With no way out, the people gather on the dance-floor clustered together as the ring-leader stands before them.

You soon join the crowd, Luna latching herself against your side as you come to a stop near the front, an orange-haired man to your left cursing under his breath.

Taking a quick glance at his profile, it clicks in your head who he is and ice runs through you.

Park Jimin.

Right-hand man to Jung Hoseok of Bangtan.

And one of his lovers.

‘This is going to end bloody either way,’ your mind mutters as the man starts to speak.

“Now that I have everyone’s attention,” he takes a brief glance to the bodies on the floor and your stomach curls in response and Luna mutters a few chosen words. “Well, almost everyone. Let me introduce myself,” he finishes, not bothered by it one bit.

“I’m Lee Taejoon,” he introduces and the crowd watches him as he walks closer, a sickening smile on his lips eyes shining with a sinister glee as they roam over the fearful crowd.

He finds Jimin rather quickly, the man meets his eyes without flinching or recoiling, which doesn’t surprise you as he moves through the crowd stepping away from everyone.

Exposing himself.

Your heart thunders against your chest as a chuckle leaves Taejoon’s lips, tongue wetting his lips as he draws closer to the male, resting the gun against his temple.

“There you are little rabbit. I’ve looked for you,” he coos, as your nose scrunches up in disgust, as Jimin doesn’t react to any of his words.

“Hoseok’s going to have fun killing you,” he simply states and Taejoon’s features darken as he pulls the pistol away; before striking Jimin harshly across the face.

The crowd gasps as his head whips to the side, and you move before you can think. Luna’s grip slips from you as you move to stand before him; checking the damage.

He meets your eyes, something flashing in them for a brief moment, flickering to the man behind you; reminding you of where you are and what you just did.

“And just who are you?” Taejoon asks, curiosity in his words as you turn to face him; and his expression grows dark with…something you choose rather not to read into.

“Y/N, I work at one of Bangtan’s establishments,” you respond, and he raises a brow, looking to Jimin who tries to move past you but you remain firmly where you are.

“Now that’s news. You truly are a gem,” he muses hand reaching for you.

Another gun-shot tears through the air, and his white shirt stains with crimson. Looking to the right, you see Jungkook and Jin with their weapons in their grip, their men filling the room.

Taejoon grabs a hold of your hair, a gasp tumbling from your lips as he situates your body against his, you can feel the wetness of the blood; gritting your teeth as his pistol rests against your neck using you as a shield.

Jungkook and Jin’s features brief flash with recognition before settling into something cold as the rest of the leader step into the center, Hoseok presence demanding everyone’s attention.

“You've crossed quite a few lines tonight Lee. May I ask, why you would do this?” Hoseok asks, voice giving nothing away as he stops a few feet from the two of you, as your mind wonders if someone got to Jimin, and how these men are so attractive.

‘Not the time,’ your mind reminds as Hoseok speaks once more.

“Knowing what it will do to your people?” he asks, and your body shudders at the promise in the words, as the pistol now rests against your temple pulling a flinch from you as his hand in your hair tightens.

Hoseok’s expression seemingly darkens as the others move closer, as Taejoon chuckles.

“I don’t care about them, what I care about-” before he can finish, a final gun-shot rings out. A bullet buries itself in his skull, decorating your face with blood.

As his hands slips away from you, you move away narrowly avoiding being crushed by him.

Luna’s body crashes against yours and you turn to tend to your shaking, frantic friend, ignoring the eyes you feel burning into your skin.

~*~*~

“Y/N,” Jin’s voice calls out to you as you bid Luna and her sister, Jazz farewell, watching as they drive off before turning to face them.

You manage to flash him a questioning look, taking a few steps closer as the buzz of adrenaline finally begin to bleed away.

“Yes?” you inquire, and he only gestures for you to follow him, which you do. He does not lead you back inside, but to a vehicle you know all too well.

You find the leaders of Bangtan speaking to another in whispers, Jimin plastered to Yoongi’s side, but remaining close to Hoseok who wears an unreadable expression.

They fall silent when you and Jin appear, as your fingers play with the material of your jeans, you look between them wondering why they would want to see you.

Hoseok reaches you within two strides, hands resting on your hips as you meet his eyes, the heaviness of his gaze causing your heart to do flips.

“I am thankful for you helping my dear one,” he says, ignoring the sound Jimin makes, as the some chuckle with fondness.

His eyes darken, lips curling down with an emotion you can’t even begin to decipher.

“But do not place yourself in such a situation again, do you understand me?” he asks, waiting for you to reply.

Shrugging your shoulder, a small but sad smile graces your lips.

“I cannot promise that, I am to ensure that you live, no matter the cost it may bring me.”