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[itsreaditandwow2]

"Clean up in Aisle Angry Grandma's ass!"

Judy Jennings (Angry Grandma)

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I want more of the JL acting like normal celebrities.

Batman and Chappel Roan working together on a competitive cooking show against teams of Kylie Jenner and Danny Devito, Kanye West and Kesha, Taylor Swift and Superman, etc. They are a surprisingly good team who work together great. They end up winning the whole thing and a bunch of wholesome memes start trending about the two of them adopting you after your awful parents kicked you out. Superman and Taylor Swift are surprisingly a TERRIBLE team. They’re disqualified because they never finished cooking their meals as they were too busy arguing. They are memed to be the parents who kicked you out and desperately need a divorce.

Wonder Woman going on a survivor-like reality show about a bunch of celebrities stuck on an island together and all the contestants are whining about things like “My hair is so frizzy and Chad is SO hot, I don’t want him to see me like this omg” While Diana has already chopped down multiple trees, used the wood to make a cabin for everyone, hunted a wild boar which is currently roasting over a campfire she also made with the leftover sticks and leaves, and cracked the coconuts from the tree. The rest of the show is mostly a normal reality show. The other contestants never have to lift a finger and can peacefully gossip and have drama while being well fed, housed, and hydrated. The only real difference is that every few minute the camera switches to Diana wresting a grizzly bear or catching fish with her bare hands.

The masked singer where there’s a person in a colourful parrot costume singing on stage and everyone has to guess who it is. People have guessed many celebrities like Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, or even Lex Luther, but they mostly guessed famous singers because the guy is GOOD and there’s no way he doesn’t sing professionally. He sang songs like “Party in the USA”, “Call Me Maybe” and “Never Gonna Give You Up”. People were going crazy trying to figure out who he is. The time finally comes for the reveal. The man slowly takes off his parrot head and... it’s Batman. The crowd goes wild.

The Flash (Barry) and Green Lantern (Hal) make a podcast and spend the entire time going on long rants about their respective interests. Flash talks about forensic science and chemistry for an hour while GL hums in interest or asks questions every once in a while. After that GL rambles about airplanes and engineering for another hour while Flash enthusiastically nods and adds in related stories every so often. Twitter diagnoses them with autism.

Captain Marvel has a TikTok account where he posts himself trying suggestions from his fans. Some of his most popular videos include him juggling a bunch of chainsaws (perfectly, btw), pranking JL members, bedazzling Mr Minds prison jar with fake crystals and speech bubble stickers that make it look like Mr Mind is saying things like “I’m DUMB”, and his most popular by far, citing The Santa Clause rules to Black Adam and convincing him that since he killed his father technically that makes him his new dad (the horror stopped Black Adam in place mid battle, giving Marvel the perfect opportunity to punch him in the face. The punch has been slo-mo’d and memed to oblivion). His Batman mandated PR team has been begging him to stop for months but in response he posts himself TikTok dancing (terribly) in front of a green screen in the background showing an image of the emails while asking for more suggestions.

If anyone has any ideas like this or fics to recommend plz tell me In the comments, I love the Justice League just casually being celebrities.

[miss-cincaide]

Tell The Difference

Summary: Your boyfriend, Yuji, decides to play a little prank on you by dressing up as his cousin for the halloween party, fake tattoos and all. But what happens when you actually can’t tell the difference between them? How will they punish you for it?  Pairing: Fem! Reader x Bf! Yuji X Sukuna  Kinktober prompt 4: Costumes  WC: 2 K Warnings: Alcohol consumption/ drunk, threesome, split-roasting (BJ, p in v), unprotected sex, nipple and dick piercing (because we know Sukuna got those), punishments (orgasm denial),

“Yuuuuji” You’re voice is loud, obnoxiously so as you throw your arms around the suit-clad pink haired idiot from behind. The very idiot that had left you alone for most of the Halloween party with only a bunch of newbie frat boys and girls and a ton of alcohol to amuse yourselves with. It was just shy of midnight, new people arriving and yet you and your little group were half a shot away from passed out drunk. “Yooou’re late, I missed you!”

“Gah get off me, Woman” Sukuna growls flinging you over his shoulder and into the bed beside himself before returning back to the mirror he was at, going straight back to adjusting his appearance the way he was  before you went beer hug on him. 

You gasp, then burst into a fit of giggles as you land beside his almost-identical look alike. Same hair, same tattoos, the only thing missing is the yet-to-be-worn black suit jacket which hangs against the back of a nearby chair. And the tie is undone; Yuji’s fingers are unusually clumsy as he desperately tries, and fails, to tie the tie properly.  

You blink up from your spot in the bed, rub at  your eyes, then shift your gaze from the two almost identical men. You rub your eyes again, then huff in annoyance. “Why are there two Sukuna?” 

“Babe!” “Wrech!” They cry, the one closest to you unmistakably calls you babe. His voice is softer, affectionate and pouty. The other just glares murderous dargers at you from the reflection in the mirror. At first it seems obvious which is which, but you also wouldn’t put it past your boyfriend to try and trick you for the fun of it. 

Sukuna may not be into pranks and games as his cousin, but he is also not the type to pass up an opportunity to annoy or embarrass you. The more humiliating the memory, the more Sukuna will get behind it, so he can torture you with it for all of eternity, or at least, across every family dinner to come. 

You sit up, cross your arms over your chest and stare at the two men cautiously. 

“C’mooon don’t look like that, hey, babe” The one beside you, who awfully sounds like Yuji, whines and leans in to plant a kiss on your lips. You hold up your hand at last second and he plants a big smooch on the palm of your hand. “Babe!” 

“ Don’t think so, Sukuna” You glare darkly, your eyes move away from the shocked pink head still kissing your hand to the one standing by the mirror, the one with a wide grin on his lips. “I’m not falling for that one, Yuji.” 

Sukuna’s grin grows wider. A row of perfectly white teeth glimmer back at you in an almost predatory fashion. As if you’ve just admitted your biggest weakness and flaw in one breath.

 “You’re one stupid woman, brat.” He pushes himself away from the mirror and walks towards the door of the bedroom you were in, glared at the horny youths about to enter before slamming, and locking the door in their faces. Leaving just the three of you in the room. 

You don’t get to ponder for long why he did that as Yuji draws your attention with his almost signature whine. “You’re serious aren’t you, Y/N?” his voice is laced with shock and disbelief. “You really can’t see the difference between us like this?!” 

Your gaze shifts between Yuji and Sukuna, then back to Yuji and back to Sukuna, your eyes trails their bodies. Both are very well trained, both about the same shade of tan after a ton of time outside. Both dressed in the same clothes, and both sprouting the only way you’d distinguish them; the tattoos. The tiny differences, like the fact that Sukuna is an inch or two taller, and has a sharper jawline and larger mouth, are so small it's difficult for your drunken mind to keep them apart. You could tell by the voice, but when they were silent, you were at a total loss. 

Defeated, you shake your head. A pitiful ‘no’ leaves your lips, and you feel like the worst girlfriend in existence. You’re so lost in your thoughts that you don’t notice the predatory stalk they do towards you, stopping at the edge of the bed in front of you. 

“That's so, woman?” You hear Sukuna speak, and glance up just in time to meet his lips. He is rough as he kisses you, tongue pushes past your lips and steals your breath away. You're frozen completely until he pulls away. 

“Wha-” You’re cut off by another set of lips. Just as passionate but less forceful. They move against you in rhythm, nipping and sucking on your bottom lip until you’re completely dizzy and out of breath. When he pulls back you blink, sitting stunned, trying to process what happened. The both of them grin down at you, waiting for your reaction. Your eyes flicker from one to the other, knowing that one of them is your boyfriend and the other, your boyfriend's cousin. You expect to see which one, to see a flicker of anger or jealousy or even hurt, but all you see are two sets of eyes full of mischief.  “Again?”  

The words barely leave your lips before they're on you. Sukuna’s lips on yours, hard and demanding. His hands go straight to your tits, fondling them through the thin material of your cat costume. Yuji climbs on the bed behind you, maneuvers you up on your knees then presses his front to your back. His hands run up and down your sides, his lips on your neck, nipping in just the right places to leave you moaning. 

Fuck what did you get yourself into?

You aren’t sure. You aren’t even sure you care at this point as your hands wander Sukuna's body. Like this, up close, you can tell the difference. Your fingers linger on his chest, circle his nipples a few times before you break the kiss. “Y-you’ve got nipple piercings?” 

“ Tsk, not the only thing pierced babe” Sukuna growls his hand yanking your head up back towards his lips. 

“Can I see?” you mumble shyly against his lips. Sukuna growls, half in displeasure, half in arousal. Then he pulls back, just long enough to shrug off the black suit jacket onto the floor and rip open the white button down. 

Yuji pauses mid-hickey making, sending his cousin a glare. “Oj that was an expensive one, you know” 

“ Heeh, that shit? I’ll get you ten times better brat” Sukuna scoffs before making a motion towards you. The next thing you know, your fuzzy cat-suit top and latex bra underneath goes off you and to the floor. 

You yelp, try to cover yourself up but Sukuna stops you, grasps both your hands in one of his. His free one goes to one tit, his mouth on the other. He sucks, and you moan, throwing your head back until it lands on Yuji’s shoulder. “Holy shit ahh!” You tremble, your mind focused on the lips, hands and teeth that are all over you. Yuji making hickeys just the way you like it, Sukuna turning your tits on fire, fuck, their joint attention goes straight to your core. 

Another moan and you’re rubbing your thighs together. Just a little fricking is all you need, just a little–

“Feel good baby?” Yuji asks a hint of uncertainty in his voice, and you let out a low hum of agreement, craning your neck just enough to press a kiss to his cheek. A second later Sukuna has your attention again, drawing out another damned moan from your lips. Yuji grins behind you, his hands on your thighs tighten. “You still can’t tell the difference between us, Babe?” he breathes in your ear, his teeth nip on your earlobe when you don’t reply directly. 

Your eyes flicker down to Sukuna sucking and loving your other breast, then to Yuji’s hands stroking up and down your thighs, the temporary tattoos on his hands beginning to crack, making it so very obvious it's him. 

“N-no” You lie through your teeth because damn you aren’t fucking ready to stop, dress and go back to the god damn drunken Halloween party as if nothing happened. 

“First you can’t tell the difference between your boyfriend and his cousin; now you’re lying. I think you’re begging to be punished by us, Y/N” Yuji’s hands leave your thighs, in fact he’s practically not touching you. A second later Sukuna is gone and you whine, your mind finally registering his words. 

“P-punishment?” You ask, raising your head from his shoulder and turning your body to face Yuji. You catch a glimpse of his smile, a quick kiss, before he pushes your body forward on your hands and knees, towards Sukuna’s raging cock. 

Your eyes widen at the sight of it, eyes locked on the two silver balls at the tip of his cock, an unmistakable piercing. Your mouth drops open, mind drawing a blank on how you’d even approach that. 

“Suck it, woman” Sukuna snaps, hand tangles in your hair and dips your head forward, his cock thrusting up past your tense lips. He curses, driving himself deeper and you gag, eyes watering. His grip on your hair tights, a shit-eating grin on his lips as he pulls out just enough to give you a breath, then thrusts in, a little gentler this time. You run your tongue over the metal piercing, rolling it and he fucking moans.  

“Yes babe, just like that, show him what your tongue can do” Yuji urges you on. You feel him shift on the bed to the point the entire thing, and you bounce, your head bobbing up and down with each bounce. Another second, then you gasp loudly as he tears through your stockings. 

“I’ll get you ten times better ones!” Yuji echoes Sukuna’s words as he spreads your legs a little wider. His fingers reach out, trailing out your leaking pussy a few times. Then he pushes in. 

You throw your head back with a loud, “Oh yes!” your orgasm building quickly.

“Fucking woman, focus” Sukuna hisses thrusting your head back down towards his throbbing cock. “Just like that, yeah, keep sucking it. Good girl. Oj brat, slow down, Don’t wanna tire her out before the punishment is over, ehh?” 

“Oh, right, sorry”  And just like that, Yuji pulls out, leaving you gaping and empty. Then pushes back in a tiny bit, just the tip, that does nothing to dull your need. If anything, it makes it fucking worse. 

You’re sobbing, frustrated tears well up in your eyes as your pussy begs for friction, just a little is all you need to get off. You spread your legs wider, bucking your hips trying to get Yuji’s cock all the way inside you again. Then you whine around Sukuna’s dick still rocking your mouth, the hand in your hair keeping you firmly in place. You lose it, then tremble in relief as he finally pushes a little deeper inside you, filling you painfully slowly. Yuji leans over you, to mutter in your ear in an unfamiliar almost sadistic tone that’s enough to make you gush.

“Shh shh shh baby, it’s okay, hey. We’ll take good care of you soon. You just have to tell honestly; do you know who’s who?”   

You want to answer him, you really do, but Sukuna’s cock in your mouth keeps you from speaking. Your silence lands you into another torturous- delicious punishment that makes you certain you’ll always lie and say you can’t tell the difference between them. 

Author note: I know you thought of it too, admit it, those two are dangerous but delicious~ Thank you for reading and hope to see you on the next kinktober fic as well!

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[sjuderia]

april fool’s day - CL16

→ charles leclerc confessing his love for his best friend, y/n just to fuck it up by telling her it’s just an april fool’s prank.

y/n questions her life choices every time someone compliments her cooking. she should’ve gone to a culinary school and opened a restaurant. everyone constantly asked her to cook for them, just like her best friend, charles who begged her to cook for him tonight.

"mamma mia. you don’t know how much i missed your cooking. perhaps i should hire you as my personal chef." charles looks at the food that y/n brought him to the table.

"yeah sure, sure. eat up cha." y/n sat in front of charles and was ready to eat too.

the two started eating their meal and having a conversation, catching up and charles making terrible jokes in between. of course, you didn’t forget to roast charles’ terrible jokes.

"can’t believe it’s april already." charles puts down his fork and knife.

"i know right." y/n agreed as she grabbed her and charles’ empty plates.

"let me do the dishes; you already cooked." charles snatched the plates from y/n.

"alright. if you insisted." y/n chuckled playfully and followed charles to the kitchen.

charles brought the plates to the sink, and y/n stood behind him, leaning on the kitchen island.

"i wish you were at the race last week," charles stated.

"i wish i could be there too, cha, but" y/n was about to reply, but charles interrupted her.

"no. hear me out. i’m so used to having you around me all the time, and when you’re not around, it doesn’t feel right. it’s more enjoyable when you’re there, yes. you make me feel at ease; you make me feel—i don’t know y/n. it’s just that it doesn’t feel right." charles still continuing washing the dishes.

"what are you saying, charles?" y/n looks at her best friend, puzzled.

"what i’m trying to say is…i like you—no i love you y/n…more than friends." charles said, nervously.

y/n swore that her heart had dropped to her knees and her eyes had widened out of shock. she froze upon hearing charles’ sudden confession. she couldn’t seem to speak up or move. charles put down the clean plates and turned around to look at y/n to see her reaction.

"…got you! happy april fool’s day." charles laughed.

"haha…that’s funny…" y/n faked her laugh.

"…yeah…let’s watch the movie we talked about earlier, shall we?" charles clears his throat.

"i might have to skip out on that one; I don’t feel well suddenly. maybe next time?" y/n pretends to be dizzy.

"what? are you okay?" charles walked closer to her, looking worried.

"just feeling a little light-headed; i haven’t had a good night's sleep for the past few days." y/n stepped back and left the kitchen.

"you can rest in my room like you always do." charles followed her to the living room.

"no, i want my bed for tonight. thanks for the offer though." y/n grabbed her purse and keys.

"hey, slow down. do you want me to drive you home?" charles walked faster as y/n is basically speed-walking.

"no. you don’t have to, and i want to be alone tonight. you go get some rest too; you must be tired." y/n smiled weakly before leaving charles at the door.

y/n went straight home. she felt like crying tonight—charles’ april fool’s prank really got to her. she thought he felt the same way. y/n always liked him—loved him more than friends since she doesn’t even remember when.

arthur came home to see his brother sitting alone in the living room; he already sensed that something’s wrong.

"where’s y/n? I thought you guys were going to watch a movie while making out or something after you finally confessed." arthur chuckled, sitting next to his brother.

"she went home. suddenly not feeling well." charles replied, his eyes glued to the TV screen.

"…you fucked it up, didn’t you?" arthur looks at his brother.

"i don’t know... i confessed and she froze, so i just told her that it was an april fool’s prank." charles looks back at arthur.

"oh my god! you’re so dumb sometimes!" arthur said with frustration.

"what?!"

"of course she’s froze! how’d you feel when your crush confessed that she felt the same way? you must be shocked, surprised, and happy at the same time that you don’t know what to do!" arthur explained.

"y/n feels the same way..."

"she does! i don’t know why the two of you can’t see that you guys are in love with each other when it’s obvious to everyone!"

"you’re pranking me." charles shook his head, not believing his brother.

"i’m not! why’d you think she went home earlier? and no, it’s not because she’s not feeling well. that’s a lie. it’s because she’s hurt! you saying it’s a prank is like pushing her off a cliff. it hurt her." arthur is basically screaming at his older brother now.

"i really fucked up, didn’t i?"

"yes you did, but you can still fix it. go to her place now." arthur points at the door.

without hesitation, charles took his car keys and drove straight to y/n’s place. charles stood in front of y/n’s door, taking a breath before pressing the doorbell.

y/n who’s currently staring at the ceiling and already in bed, she cursed at whoever was standing in front of her door right now. she doesn’t care about how she looks right now; her eyes must be puffy from crying, but she doesn’t care.

"if it’s another prank, i’m going to slam the door at you." she opened the door to see the man that she had cried over for the past hours.

"no, no. it’s not, i promise. i’m sorry, y/n. i didn’t mean it. it wasn’t a prank. i panicked when i saw your reaction; i was being honest; i love you more than friends. i really do." charles looks at you softly.

"you do?"

"i do. i really do love you."

"i have the urge to get you back, but i also badly want to kiss you right now." y/n smirked.

"then kiss me," charles said.

y/n stepped closer to charles, leaning in for a kiss. charles kissed her back and pushed her inside. he kicked the door shut, still kissing her. she brought him to her room, and the two spent the night in her bed together.

status: proofread ✓ word count: 1.046

[lick-me-lennon22]

Kid!Beatles X Kid!Reader Headcanons

(thank you to anon for this fun request!! 💞)

John

you and John are known troublemakers in school, often getting scolded for your antics in class and mischief during recess

you're notorious for pulling pranks on your classmates, from tacks on chairs to fake bugs in desk drawers

you bond over your love for doodling, filling notebooks with silly drawings and caricatures of your teachers (and sometimes defacing school property)

despite your friendship, you're fierce rivals on the soccer field, competing against one another in epic matches with bragging rights on the line

you share a secret hideout in the schoolyard where you spend your breaks together, plotting imaginary adventures and sharing your wildest dreams

you have frequent sleepovers consisting of ruthless pillow fights and devious prank calls to every number in the phonebook

Paul

you and Paul spend recess making up silly songs together, singing at the top of your lungs and giggling uncontrollably

after school, you make your way towards your secret treehouse in Paul's backyard to share secrets and imaginary tales, hidden away from the rest of the world

when the weather is nice, you like to go on bike rides around the neighborhood, exploring hidden trails and pretending to be intrepid explorers on a quest for adventure

Paul will sometimes take you to the park with him to birdwatch, armed with binoculars and identification books

you love building things together, crafting beautiful flower crowns and constructing makeshift forts from pillows and blankets

you spend your weekends watching old monster movies and sci-fi classics, munching on popcorn and debating over which film is the best

George

being two of the quieter students in class, you share a special unspoken bond, often writing messages in the margins of your notebooks and sliding it to the edge of your desk for the other to read

speaking of, the two of you are avid readers, spending hours in the school library devouring nonfiction books about dinosaurs, science, and space

George takes on you epic imaginary adventures, pretending to be astronauts exploring distant planets or knights fighting dragons

you like to go on nature walks together, collecting leaves to make rubbings and flowers to press in your scrapbooks

you spend the weekends exploring in the woods behind your houses, searching for hidden treasures and making friends with the creatures that inhabit the forest

Ringo

you're a pair of class clowns, always cracking jokes and performing silly skits to make your classmates laugh during boring lessons

Ringo shares with you his love for percussion, showing you how to use instruments like air guitars and cardboard drums to perform for your friends at lunchtime

the two of you spend countless afternoons playing soccer with your friends in the neighborhood streets, Ringo showcasing his impressive footwork as you cheer him on from the sidelines (and even join in when you're feeling bold)

you're avid comic book fans, spending hours together trading your favorite issues and debating over who would win in a battle between your favorite superheroes

on temperate evenings you'll pitch a tent in Ringo's backyard and stay up all night telling ghost stories, roasting marshmallows over a makeshift campfire, and counting the stars

[pinkcreamypeach]

Some headcanons of my Mario interpretations 

(The Mario brothers this time)

Mario is a passionate person who wears his heart on his sleeve. He is not afraid to show his emotions and affection, and is able to form strong bonds with others through his openness and vulnerability. However, his desire for love and companionship can sometimes make him vulnerable to manipulation and disappointment.

Mario, as a teen, was a diligent young man who attended boxing classes to defend himself and his twin brother. His metabolism was considerably slower than that of his brother, and he often had difficulty staying in shape. Fortunately, he was able to avoid getting caught smoking weed by his brother, who served as a disciplinarian to the twins. His mother was often permissive, spoiling them with food and love, though their father believed this made them soft. He encouraged them to take self-defense seriously and did not support Mario's decision to become a plumber, a move that Luigi soon followed. Despite his reservations, he loved his sons and hoped for their success.Luigi, as a teen, was a shy and socially awkward teen who nevertheless loved playing soccer with his brother. He suffered a tragic "accident" when bullies caused him to break his knee, which shattered his confidence and forced him to give up sports completely. The trauma caused him to seek solace in books and withdraw from social interactions, making it difficult for him to make friends. He did, however, form meaningful relationships with girls, which made him feel grateful.

The Mario brothers have curly hair; Luigi's hair is wavy and curly, while Mario's hair type is curly and short. Mario used to straighten his hair because of his insecurities about his acne and slightly chubby build. He became obsessed with the handkerchief that Peach gave him after meeting her one night - a fascination that lasted for months as he continued to draw blonde-haired individuals in his sketchbooks. Mario's obsession became a topic of conversation for his uncle, who made light jokes about the teen's attachment to the blonde girl he had met only once.Luigi's "friends" were fake, as their true colors began to show in time. Luigi's mother constantly warned him about their negative influence. After they pranked Luigi and left him to clean up the mess, Luigi's trust in others gradually dissolved. He struggled to make new friends until his knee injury, when he met some supportive individuals at the hospital. These new connections helped him through the difficult months of recovery.

My Mario brothers are POC with tannish-brown, rich skin tone that's a shade of bronze. Mario's eyes gleam with a warm, brown hue, and Luigi's eyes have a cool shade of blue-gray. Both Mario and Luigi have dark brown hair that complement their features perfectly. As for their body types, Luigi has a slender build with a hint of chubbiness while Mario has a chubby, muscular physique. Mario's skin is slightly rough, with scars and small burn marks that serve as a reminder of his past endeavors. Luigi, on the other hand, has lightning scars on his skin. Luigi's hair reaches all the way down his back, making it the perfect length for braiding or putting up in a ponytail. Mario, on the other hand, prefers to keep his hair above his shoulders with sideburns framing his face.

Mario's aversion towards mushrooms is actually due to him being what one would call a "picky eater." His mother would frequently try to make him enjoy eating the fungi, but he would either reject or even vomit them. Mario would go to great lengths to avoid eating mushrooms, including hiding them from his twin brother. Luigi, on the other hand, wasn't fond of mushrooms because of their appearance, but a delicious filling inside a roasted mushroom changed his mind and now he loves eating them. In fact, mushrooms have become his favorite comfort food, second only to the cinnamon rolls that his father occasionally makes for him.

But Mario's body insecurity is not something he lets show. Underneath his overly confident attitude, he has body issues that he tries to hide with his positive attitude. However, Mario always hypes his brother up when he feels uncomfortable. Luigi wishes to do the same for him, but Mario never allows it, feeling that he would only be a burden. The twin brothers both have anxiety issues, although Luigi's are more obvious than Mario's. It takes a lot for Mario to feel comfortable wearing shorts, even in the summer. However, his confidence grows when Princess Peach compliments his appearance. On the other hand, Luigi prefers to wear comfortable clothing and has no problem showing some skin, but is more shy about exposing his chest.

Mario is a hopeless romantic at heart. He is easily swayed by his emotions and is prone to falling in love at first sight. When he does, he quickly embarks on relationships with the hope of finding true love. However, these relationships usually end in heartbreak after just a few weeks, leaving Mario feeling unworthy of real affection. Despite the constant cycle of failed relationships, Mario's deep desire for love and companionship remains undiminished. He is even willing to sing cheesy love songs and publicly display his affection for his partners.Mario is a passionate person who wears his heart on his sleeve. He is not afraid to show his emotions and affection, and is able to form strong bonds with others through his openness and vulnerability. However, his desire for love and companionship can sometimes make him vulnerable to manipulation and disappointment.Mario's romantic tendencies are quite different from those of his brother Luigi. Although Luigi does have a softer side, he is more focused on forming deep platonic friendships than on finding a romantic partner. However, he has even been known to develop crushes on fictional characters and occasionally in real life. When he does, Luigi is quite shy and awkward, often stuttering and struggling to communicate with the object of his affection.

They share a strong sibling bond, with Luigi always keeping Mario's secrets. Luigi sometimes protects Mario, even going against Mario's wishes to ensure his safety. Mario, being protective himself, is vigilant about Luigi's well-being, even becoming frantic if he spots a red mark on Luigi's face. Mario, despite being a teenager at the time, got in trouble for fighting in school, and this behavior didn't change much as he grew older. Mario has a strong protective instinct for his friends and becomes a different person when his loved ones are in harm's way. He is willing to risk his own body against his instincts to ensure their well-being, going so far as to ignore the pain and exhaustion. Luigi worries about losing his brother, as Mario's recklessness often puts him in dangerous situations, and he struggles to keep up with his brother's energy. Mario feels guilty seeing the scars on Luigi's body, even though Luigi tries to downplay their significance. The twins care for each other and understand they would both be lost without each other. 

[That's it for now. Until I think of more]

@bberetd @peaches2217 @keylovesstuff @sykomuffinrulez @supergay-64

[weirdtinkerbellversion]

Dec 8. Prompt: Smitten. Word count: 160 @wolfstarmicrofic

Lyall was worried. Remus had announced that he and Sirius had started dating and he wanted to bring him over, introduce him to the family. They had met Sirius before, briefly, in Dumbledore’s office after the prank. Safe to say, Lyall wasn’t Sirius’ biggest fan.

His worries faded a few hours later, when all four of them were sitting around the kitchen table at the Lupins’ cottage, enjoying Hope’s best Sunday roast. He saw how naturally the two boys fit together, how their movements synchronised when they were telling a story together and they finished each others’ sentences, and how Remus absentmindedly reaches for Sirius’ hand while he’s talking to his mom to fidget with his boyfriend’s rings (fake silver, Lyall notes). He certainly didn’t miss the little smile on Sirius’ face when Remus reaches for him, or the smitten look in his eyes when he looks up at him.

Maybe Sirius wasn’t so bad for his son after all.

[spacepiratenemo]

Hello! My Name is Nemo! Welcome to Jackass!

MEME-TIME! MUHAHHA! 😂💯👾

Lol, this was "supposed to be quick, easy and literally just a meme" and now it took nearly a week and drove me nuts 3.14 times XD 😂

I had this in mind for ages and pushed it to the back of the shedule all the damn time, now it's finally done. *20th century fox proudly presents* Nemo being grounded! 😂

Two weeks of kitchen service is way too nice for all the non-sense and chaos she caused on board - and of course she just gotta provoke, eh? Push one button and BANANABEARD CAN GLOW WITH LED LIGHTS! ISN'T IT BOOTIFUL???! 😂😂😂

I'm surprised Pops didn't throw this girl over board a single time... XD

Anyways, hope this short memetic content amuses you as it amused me! XD Which punishment do you think Nemo deserves? How long would you ground her for? How many dishes would you let her wash? ><

LOL

Nemo loves to prank others! From glueing Pops to his seat, to putting chilli into Marco's pineapples - everything is possible! And since she is a horrible influence regarding this on Ace, he often tags along with her shenenigans! In a nutshell, so far in the story they pulled off:

Roasting a Seaking with an alien-weapon

Spilling glitter everywhere

Using yellow paint to make Pops mustache become banana

Glue Pops to his throne

Make Blamenco smell his own feet

Let Deuce run in a circle for one hour to find his mask

Hide Vista's hair-care products and let him suffer to find out

Fireworks ala Firecracker!

See if you can cook faster than the oven! (Faster apparently does not imply better...)

Use watermelon-seeds as ammunition against everyone!

Make Haruta admit to his love for rubber duckies

Find out who Jozu's secret crush is

Arrange a date between Whitey Bay and Izou, don't tell either of them though!

Surprise everyone with a loud, cheerful party at 3 AM for a whole week!

Sulk at the Crew when 3 AM parties are suddenly forbidden.

Make the sulking as dramatic as possible and pretend to die.

Shock the Crew by jumping into the sea and let them believe we drowned!

Jumpscare them all with a trumpet.

Make them fear the trumpet.

Make them wish the trumpet was a nightmare that would end.

Place fart-pillows everywhere.

Tag "Kick me!" pictures to everyone's back.

Make the world believe aliens exist.

Fake an alien invasion.

Make headlines!

Use narcolepsy as an excuse for literally everything fifty times in a row.

Make them believe you don't understand socialising.

Put too much wasabi into all beers.

Sew Marco a feather-dress.

Put eggs into Marco's bed every day.

Ask Marco if he's already a chicken-daddy every day.

Test: How long and how intense can you annoy Marco until he fries?

Will he taste like chicken when he fries?

Force everyone to do maths!

Put the alpahbet into the maths once they think they're safe.

Let Ace believe he is safe from the maths, but then make him do maths anyway.

Make everyone be scared of numbers!

Make everyone scared of numbers and letters in combination!

Put hidden numbers everywhere to cause paranoia.

Replace Satan.

Paint Pops a pretty make-up while he sleeps.

Also do his fingernails.

Put a bow on him.

Make Namur believe he might be an alien as well

Make everyone believe they're aliens

Establish a conspiracy and laugh about the idiots who believe it

Fake a UFO crash

Fake found-footage of alien abducting pirates to cause global panic.

Shoot confetti-rockets at Mariejois and make them beliebe it was the Marines.

Estabilish A.M.A.B as a Slogan: "All. Marines. Are. Bastards!"

Create hundreds of robots, fake loss of control and prank'em by thinking A.I enslaves mankind.

Clone coconuts.

Clone a huge amount of coconuts.

Establish coconut as super fruit and throw them at everyone who disagrees with you.

Polish Jozu to make him Shiny-Jozu.

Make Blenheim believe Fossa has a crush on him.

Watch chaos unfold.

Mess with the cacti-juice.

And so much more...

... to be continued!

[vivaladicamillo]

hi, can you write a dico x fem!reader who is just like him. they are best friends but also a couple. they are always laughing & joking around, doing skits, having rap/roast battles, doing stunts, etc together. the others constantly teasing them about how they are same person and outsides would never be able to tell they are a couple.

that’s so fucking cheesy I’m so sorry AHHHH 😟

BRANDON DICAMILLO X FEM!READER

THANK U SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THIS IM A LITERAL SUCKER FOR DICO AHHHH and trust me nothing is ever too cheesy when it comes to me, i fucking loves cheese little romantic things like this, especially for someone who acts just like him. this is fueling my crush for him more and more 🤭🤭🤭🤭

WARNINGS: none

—————————————

u always had a little crush on dico

come on the guys funny and cute whats more there to love??

when u guys finally got together though its like u guys were just best friends

i mean u two were together CONSTANTLY

the guys started to get suspicious

“dico are u banging her or are u too just friends?” -bam

everyone genuinely couldnt tell if you were dating or not, hell ur the spitting image of eachother personality wise

when u too finally tell the guys the teasing begins

constant “oohs” and “aaahs” when u two would show anytype of affection towards eachother

the guys finally having something to tease brandon abt was a huge win for them

it was all fun and jokes

at first

then it started to be annoying so you and dico get together and start scheming

then it hits you two

to get back at the guys u decide to give them all their own little “hell days”

for bam u definitely wash all of his skateboards with soap and water on the grip side, hide some of his him cds, maybe even take the lambo out for a spin (for hours without telling him) u guys also fuck up his favorite shirts just for the hell of it

with ryan he really never picked on u guys a lot but just to make it equal u guys just do little psychological pranks on him, yk the whoopie cushion, fake shock gum, corny shit like that

with raab, dico and u probably just smack him in the face throughout the whole day, maybe take key key with u for a joy ride just to scare him a bit or burn his favorite beanie

oh god rake gets it the worst

being dicos best friend and all he made fun of yall CONSTANTLY ( prob to get back at dico for always bullying him)

dicos gonna get ruthless

woo de wolf impression all day, gay jokes upon gay jokes, probably tries to cut his hair and to top the day off, a gallon of yellow mustard on rakes head (DICO U BETTER RUN BITCH)

dico really wants to do rakes hell day by himself bc he loves fucking with him

you guys will get the nickname “diablos” (the devils twins) after all this

he probably is gonna get murdered for doing all this but hey nobody can stay mad at dico

hes too cute fr

—————————————

BONUS HEADCANONS BC I DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO PUT THESE!

will put u in his homemade video projects

imagine cudding with him while u too just crack jokes and hold eachother

WATCHING OLD TIMEY WESTERN MOVIES WITH HIM

“hey babe ive been working on this impression and i need your opinion on it”

you will try and kick his ass at mortal combat, and ultimately fail “they dont call me the record holder for nothing babe”

BUY HIM ACTION FIGURES HE WILL LOVE U FOREVER

does like to take u out on sappy romantic dates sometimes but also just likes to hang out with u, just ur presence alone calms him

his his nose and watch his fave turn red ‼️

ROAST BATTLES TO THE MAX, put on a beat and you two will go at it for hours, constant back and forth of you guys dissing eachother then having it turn oddly sexual then having it turn into roasting rake then back to the beginning again

putting on masters of the universe and cuddling to sleep 😩

—————————————

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! i have no clue if u wanted a actual fic or not but im shit at writing so this is the best i got, and im not turning down this idea bc it makes me giggle and get all giddy tbh 🤭🤭🤭

[yoimix]

🎄 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 🎄

hello, sunshine!! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ i hope you’re all doing well and enjoying the break ❣️ i am back from the dead after a tough quarter, with some time for writing !! requests are now open. i made a list of prompts and optional tropes, so for this request period, i want you to send in a request in the format: character + prompt emoji + (opt.) trope/premise. for example, kaveh + 🍪 + e2l ! the calendar below will be updated with each request ☀️ (click/tap for better quality)

note that since i can only post one a day, the number of requests are limited to 20 + there is a limit of 3 fics per character ! also a not-so-gentle reminder to be nice in the requests or the golden wolflord will come get you 👹 i’m a human being, not a robot writer; i can only do so much 🤧 i also have discretion to choose to not do a request if i’m not comfy with writing it!! check my rules page for more info !!

prompts under the cut!

🎄 decorate the tree

🍒 caught under the mistletoe~ 

🍪 make a gingerbread house together

☃️ snowball fight! (but they made a bet and now they’re fighting for their lives)

🎅 they’re each other’s secret santa 

🍽 preparing the christmas dinner together

☕️ coffee date! ...err but the line’s too long

🎁 pranking each other with the presents

🍬 late night sugar rush adventure

🐶 dressing up their pets in festive wear

⛸ ice skating! (but can they skate?)

🧊 who can build a better ice sculpture?

🧣 showing up to a fancy event in ugly christmas sweaters

💘 making fun of couples doing cliche winter activities while not realizing they’re in love with each other

🔅 walking around the city to see the christmas lights

🥂 concocting cursed holiday cocktails 

🎬 hallmark movie marathon... but someone falls asleep midway through

🎊 at a family christmas party trying to convince everyone that they are, in fact, dating

🎯 holiday game night but someone’s way too competitive

📷 drunk after party photobooth shoots 

🎆 enjoying a fireworks show together, but someone’s not looking at the fireworks

🔥 going camping bc y’all like freezing to death. (jk it’s roasting marshmallows by a campfire and telling each other childhood stories)

🎲 flex slot ! (send in any activity you like that’s not in the prompts)

example tropes: enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, fake dating, mutual pining, etc. just let me know what you come up with! it’s pretty much a free slot ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა you can also request aus, like modern au, etc!

if you have extra nuances, you can also detail them out! just have fun ৻(  •̀ ᗜ •́  ৻)

[theyaremanycolours]

Because AO3 is currently down, here's The Curse of Pablo the Reluctant Goober

-

Razputin Aquato was in the ~~inter~~ Junior Agents' Break Room, eating a bowl of cereal at the table.

\It had been a few months since the Maligula incident, and while there had been some missions since then, most of them had been small, like investigating the Case of the Missing Tofu (Turns out someone had eaten Psitanium and became convinced that Most Roast's town-famous barbecue tofu gave her superpowers)

\It was all calm and quiet, a regular day, to be honest. And then, for no apparent reason, Raz was suddenly dressed in a clown suit.

\He ate unbothered for several seconds before noticing.

\"Huh. It must be April," he said, before his eyes widened "Wait, the Hand was fake, but this one was real...?"

\"What one? Why are you wearing clown suit?!"

\Norma rolled her eyes, "It's because he clearly can't take this job seriously."

\"You're just jealous I can make this work! Your clown suit just looks terrible\~" he said, honking his nose before realisation swept over his face

\"Oh no"

\The others were too busy laughing (or fuming in Norma's case) to notice that fact, and even if they were, the entrance of Dion and Frazie loudly singing, decked in only the most clownish attire. \"MY-YA HEE, MY-YA HOO, MY-YA HA, MY-YA HA-HA\~!"

\ Before Frazie picked up Norma "Oh my googly moo, my sweet sugar spice pie\~ I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART\~!"

\And then she proceeded to kiss Norma sloppily, leaving huge Clown Lipstick Marks all over her face.

\And then Dion spoke, or rather Honked, a sappy look in his eyes as he kissed Gisu's hand delicately, before offering a big, beautiful rose to her Gisu, a little confused but honoured, held the rose between her fingers before it squirted water right in her face Dion giggled out a few soft honks before brushing the water off her face and gently kissing her face, leaving her blushing hard at the clown boy

\It took a few seconds before anyone could respond, the loud sounds of smooching the only thing filling the silence.

\ "What the hell?!?" Morris finally said

\"It's the Curse-" Raz began

\"Cursed aren't real, Raz." Lili responded

\"I didn't think it was real after the whole Maligula thing, but I swear this one is real-!" Raz puttered out "Or at least, it still feels real-"

\"Just explain it Raz-!" Lizzie responded

\"Okay, so, apparently my great great great uncle Pablo Aquato apparently thought clowns were 'pathetic, un-serious performers' and managed to completely wreck the Jester Association 's annual Clown-off three times in a row, so they cursed him and our entire family to become the goofiest clowns possible every time the Clown Off happens- Or at least that's how dad says it"

\ "If that's true then why aren't you doing clown stuff?"

\ "I'M TRYING MY BEST TO HOLD IT BACK I WANT TO GOOF OFF SO HARD RIGHT NOW BUT IF I DO NO ONE WOULD RESPECT ME AS A PSYCHONAUT AND I'LL № KICKED OUT BUT I'M SCARED IF I DON'T I'LL TRY TO PRANK ALL THE GODS -!"

\"Raz," Lili spoke calmly, her voice calm and clear "If anyone tried to kick you out because of you being affected by something you can't control after you saved the entire world twice, they'd have to go through me!"

\Raz looked uncertain still.

\"Look, you have my permission to do goofy clown stuff as long as you don't hurt anyone, okay?"

\Raz blinked once. \Twice. \The tension in his body relaxed and his eyes lit up. He gently kissed his girlfriend on the cheek, honked his nose twice and then ran out the door in a split second. \"... Well, that doesn't feel ominous" Lizzie said, right before Sam pie'd her.

\"What, you had a "Pie Me" sign on your face!"

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead In a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 20

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years by the time his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

You can also read this on AO3. If you don’t want to wait for new chapters, the complete story is on Patreon for only $4 with bonus stories! If you’re enjoying the story and want to support me in other ways, consider dropping me a message in my inbox or reblogging this post!

The following Monday, Alex was wasting time in the staff room with Martin. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the stained, slightly-leaky pot that nearly burned Alex every time he tipped it over for a mediocre, burnt serving of poorly-roasted grounds. They were a very successful business that raked in a lot of money every year. They should have been able to update some of their appliances. It was just one of his many gripes that he forgot about once his paycheck came through.

“Then Sam actually found that coffee in Target this weekend and was like shit. It’s supposed to be sold out everywhere at these bougie shops—and it’s just in stock at Target? She bought three bags before anyone else noticed.”

Alex didn’t mention that coffee had an expiration date. Even if it wasn’t pre-ground, if it was still the beans, coffee didn’t stay good forever. How long would it take them to go three bags? Surely, not quickly enough.

“So, did she make the tiramisu? Was it everything TikTok promised it would be?” Alex asked.

“She hasn’t made it yet. She wanted to save it for guests. Anyway, this is us asking if you and Marcus want to join us Thursday for the Tiramisu debut. Kris and Clara will be there.”

“I’ll have to check if Marcus is free, but I think we’d both be down if we can make it.”

Alex was pleased to get another invitation. He could start looking forward to regular after-work hangouts to get him through the week.

He would have to cough up more money for Damián to go with him, but he was willing to do it for another night with Damián. He would give a year’s wages to Damián if it meant he was getting to spend so much time with him. Maybe he’d keep hiring him after the party. Or maybe that would be weird.

You down for another night with Martin and Sam this Thursday?

Hold on let me send you some nudes.

Alex waited for whatever was coming, knowing full well he was not going to get a lewd picture of Damián. At least he hoped not. Sometimes Damián struggled with knowing that people worked at 1 pm on Mondays.

But even then, Damián wouldn’t send nude pictures of himself to Alex of all people. They weren’t actually dating.

A couple of seconds later, a professional picture of a bowl of ramen was sent through. Nudes. Noods. Noodles. Alex got it. He didn’t laugh.

Can we get ramen for dinner tonight? I just found this new place, and it looks so good.

Of course! Can you answer my question about Thursday?

I would 100% be down to see them again, but I have a client :( Let me know if they want to do any other night, I’m free a few nights this week.

Once he and Damián went their separate ways, Alex hoped that and Martin could keep up some type of friendship—that he wasn’t only valuable to Martin and Sam because he was part of a couple.

“Sorry.” Alex spoke while typing out his reply to Damián. In hindsight, it was a bad idea. He should have put all of his focus on either conversation. “Damián has to work.”

“Damián?”

Alex looked up. Martin was throwing him a confused smile.

Shit.

His face went numb.

“Uh.” Alex didn’t know how to correct himself. It was too late. “Marcus. Marcus has to work.”

“You said Damián,” Martin said. He laughed a little. “Is Marcus his work name? That’s okay. I get it.”

���Do you?”

“Yeah! When he hired him, we assumed he wasn’t giving out his real name. But you kept calling him Marcus, and I started to think you guys just weren’t comfortable with anyone knowing his real name yet. I won’t tell anyone, though. I’ll play along with you guys.”

Alex was going to suffocate in that little staff room. “Yeah?”

“Yeah! And honestly, Alex, I know Sam and I got off on the wrong foot with you guys, but we promise we’re trying to do better. And Kris and Clara are already cool. You guys would be safe using his real name in front of us—if he’s comfortable with it.”

“Okay.”

“There’s no reason to pretend like he’s working when he’s not. If it’s just us—I mean, if you trust all of us, and I know that might be hard—you guys can relax. You don’t have to pretend.”

Alex stared at Martin. Fuck. The downside to making new friends was that he felt bad about lying to them.

Martin had grown so much in just a matter of weeks. He had become so aware of boundaries even when no one told him about them. It was incredible how just a couple of interactions with Damián and getting away from Andrew had completely changed him.

“We’re not actually dating.”

Alex didn’t mean to say it. There was immediate regret when he saw Martin’s face change from soft acceptance to furrowed confusion.

“What?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Alex was in too deep now. It was spiraling. He was going to die right there in that office.

“What do you mean you’re not dating?” Martin asked. “You and Marcus—Damián? You’re not dating?”

“No.”

“Then why have you been saying you’re dating?” Martin laughed, but it was awkward and nervous. “Sam and I literally introduced to you our friends as a couple.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated as in ‘we’re not doing as well as we thought we would, and now we can’t define it?’ Or ‘we never really wanted a label on it?’ Or is it complicated as in ‘we’ve been lying?’”

Alex squeezed the handle of his coffee mug. His knuckles burned against the ceramic. “Complicated as in ‘we’ve been lying.’”

Martin stared at him for a second.

“What the fuck?” he whispered. “Why would you lie about that?”

“Okay, hold on, you’re the one who set us up in the first place as a prank—“

“And I’ve apologized, and I’ve been working really hard to make up for it. I invited you to my fucking home.”

“Can I explain?”

“Yes. Please. Quickly.”

Alex set down his mug. His hands were so sweaty and shaky, he might have dropped it and gotten shitty coffee all over the already-stained linoleum.

He should have been consulting Damián before he went any further, but he was in so deep he just wanted to explain himself before Martin hated him forever.

“The night Damián and I met, we decided that we would pretend to be dating for real until the office party at the end of the month,” Alex said. “Like, as revenge. We thought it would disgust you three, so we wanted to mess with you. When you apologized, we thought we’d keep up the whole thing to make it more believable. I think it just went further than we thought it would.”

“Christ, Alex,” Martin said. “That’s evil.”

“Is it?” Alex had a sort of manic momentum. “Do you know how Damián and I felt the night of your prank? Do you know how scary it is for a sex worker to find out he made advances on a man who had no idea he was a sex worker?”

Martin looked to the side. He mumbled, “No.”

“It was cruel,” Alex said, quietly. “To me and Damián. We were just planning on a little revenge and then putting the whole thing behind us after this month.”

Martin shoved his hands into his pocket. He didn’t look at Alex. “I’m sorry. But you didn’t have to accept our invitations to dinner and to our apartment. You could have said no. Everyone sees you and Damián leaving the office together every week. That would have been enough.”

“We could have, but I—this sounds so stupid—after a week, I wanted to spend more time with Damián. That’s why I kept saying yes. It wasn’t totally manipulative.”

“And you couldn’t have just told him you want to be his friend? You had to create a whole Fake Dating Universe and pull me and my wife and our friends into it?”

“I couldn’t have just told him.”

“Why not? He obviously likes spending time with you. Why else would he play Trivial Pursuit for three hours?”

“Probably because I’m paying him for all of this.”

“Whoa. Stop.” Martin crossed his arms. “You hired him for three hours of a board game? How much are you paying him?”

“I think I’m up to $625. That’s for the two dates with you and Sam and the party date. Plus a planning fee.”

“What?” Martin leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “He charged us $550 for one night. How are you paying barely more than that for three nights?”

“You paid $550?” Alex slapped his hand over his mouth when he shouted it. “For one night?”

He vaguely remembered Damián telling him his regular charge was $250 per hour, but it had sort of been filed away to the back of his brain. They had spent so much time together, surely Alex should have been up in the thousands.

“He’s a pricey escort,” Martin said. “Not the priciest. God knows we found people who charged insane rates. But he said it was $250 for the dinner alone. After that, the other $300 was for the—you know. What would have been sex. We put a lot of thought into our budget. And, might I add, we didn’t want to hire just anyone. We wanted to give you a nice experience.”

“Thank you?”

“Have you been unaware this entire time that he’s, like, a really good, in-demand escort? He’s not charging you his usual rates for a reason,” Martin said. “He likes you. He’s going easy on you.”

“He might just feel bad for me. This is all probably a pity discount.”

“There’s no such thing as a pity discount. I really think he likes you. Kris and Clara were going on and on about how sweet he is to you. So, he’s either the world’s best escort and needs to start charging way more, or he does genuinely like you—and at risk of sounding like a middle schooler, I mean he likes you.”

Being liked by Damián was so much worse than what Alex thought it would feel like. It was something he had secretly wanted, but now that it was a real possibility, Alex could only think how horrifying it was. If Damián really did like him, then Alex no longer had an excuse for not pursuing anything. Feelings were mutual. Alex might no longer have to be single, alone, the state he found painful solace in.

“Good news for me, I guess, is that you guys were shit at lying to us,” Martin said. “I don’t think I feel so hurt knowing you two actually fell for each other.”

Martin was still angry. He deserved to be. But Alex didn’t want him reverting back to the person he was only a week ago—blindly following Andrew and Stu, a little malice tucked away in his heart.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “Can we still keep this all between us?”

“Yeah. Whatever. I won’t tell anyone.”

Martin took his coffee and walked past Alex, out of the break room.

The worst part of it all was the text Alex immediately sent to Damián.

Damián, I accidentally let Martin know that we’ve been lying, and I accidentally told him your real name. I’m really sorry. I don’t know how I let it slip, and now his feelings are hurt. I’m really, really sorry.

Alex walked back to his desk, set down his coffee, stared staring blankly at e-mails. Damián didn’t reply for a while, but Alex could see three dots periodically appearing and reappearing on the bottom of his screen. There was nothing he could do but wait. He refused to start typing out a self-deprecating apology. It would only make things worse. Besides, he was paralyzed with fear.

What if Damián hated him? What if it was a huge violation of his privacy—and it was—that would get Alex blacklisted, and Damián would drop him as a client? And a friend.

He sat frozen at his desk for an hour trying to convince himself he hadn’t lost both of his new friends to the same fuck up.

Finally, a text came through.

I’ll see you later, and we can talk about it then.

Okay. Not terrible. It wasn’t the worst thing Damián could have said.

Damián sent him an address a minute later.

Meet me at my apartment.

Okay. I’ll see you then. I’m really sorry

Alex had to go through the rest of his day alone. Damián didn’t text him anymore. Martin steered clear of him. It was what he was used to, at least.

He pretended to work and pretended like he wasn’t spiraling. The day ended, and he gathered his jacket and his bag, and he followed the address on numb legs to an apartment complex not all that far from his office.

Damián answered his door with a frown, arms wrapped firmly across his chest.

“I would have liked a little heads up before you did any of that,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said.

Damián turned around and led him inside the apartment. Walking out of the entrance hallway, Alex hid his shock at how nice of a place it was. Not that he had assumed Damián was living in a bad place. Just that he had assumed that his own apartment was pretty average for a single man in his 30s—tiny, cramped, one window—and that Damián must have been living in a similar setup.

But Damián’s apartment was spacious. Alex believed that Martin and the others paid over $550 for a single night. There was no other way Damiàn would be able to afford such a place on his own. It momentarily distracted Alex from the vague feeling of wanting to vomit.

Damián had a living room that could actually hold a sizable couch, a coffee table, and a chair. It wasn’t too close to his kitchen which had a table. A table! Alex had never had a kitchen table of his own.

And on that table was a brown paper bag of takeout. Damián dug into it and pulled out two plastic bowls. He held one to his chest.

“Tell me why you did it and then you get your ramen,” Damián said.

“I didn’t mean to,” Alex said. “I really didn’t. I slipped with your name, he was understanding, and then after that, the rest just. Spilled out of my mouth. I couldn’t stop it. I felt guilty about lying to him.”

Damián didn’t relax his hold on the ramen. “Is he going to tell anyone else my name?”

“No. He promised he wouldn’t.”

“He isn’t going to go back to pranks now that he knows we’ve been deceiving him?”

“I don’t think so?”

Damián held the bowl out. Alex accepted it, knowing full well he didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“It’s fine, I guess.” Damián sat down and pulled out his own bowl and two packets of wooden chopsticks. “You didn’t mean to. Accidents happen.”  

“You don’t have to forgive me.”

Damián looked up and smiled with half of his mouth. “But I will. You didn’t mean to. I’d rather you hadn’t revealed my identity to a man I just met, but I think it’ll be fine.”

“He won’t do anything harsh.”

“We better hope not.”

Alex tucked his hands between his knees. Damián cracked open his lid. Steam rolled up and covered Damián’s face.

“I don’t have time to properly scold you, anyway,” Damián said. “I have a client tonight.”

“I thought you didn’t take clients on Mondays.”

“Well.” Damián scooped noodles onto his chopsticks. “I usually don’t, but I’m setting money aside for Leo’s tuition next year.”

Alex never offered to help Eve with tuition. But then again, they had parents and Damián and Leo didn’t seem to be totally in touch with theirs. Or if they were, it must have not been a situation where Leo could ask for help. But regardless, it made Alex feel like an inferior brother.

“Can I try to make it up to you?” Alex asked.

Damián sighed. His face relaxed. “It’s really not a big deal. It was an accident. Martin doesn’t strike me as the type to try to ruin someone’s life over this, either. What’s the worst he’ll do? Tell his wife?”

“It would make me feel better if you let me at least try to make it up.”

Damián always had such a soft, tender look about him. He set his chopsticks down on the edge of his plastic bowl and linked his fingers, setting his chin on top of them.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“Anything you want from me.”

Damián pulled his hands apart and laid one across the table, palm up. Alex unclasped his own, brought them up from between his knees, raised one above the table, and finally laid it, shaking, in Damián’s. It was the first time they had held hands since the first night they met, when Damián led him down the hallways of the hotel.

Alex’s face was hot. Little tremors shook his whole body.

“If you insist on making it up to me,” Damián said, “you can let me take you out somewhere that’s not just cheap dinner or ice cream.”

Alex liked their cheap dinners and their single ice cream trip. They were so ordinary, so easily fit into his normal routine, that it had made Damián feel like a solid part of his life. He had settled into Alex’s days so easily, like he had always been there.

Damián folded his fingers over Alex’s hand. They were warm and soft. Alex’s were still chilled from the outside.

“If you let me take you out for a night, I’ll forgive you,” Damián said. “Not a hired appointment or anything. Me genuinely taking you out.”

A date. That was what Damián was asking for. A date. A date!

The little bit of residual trauma from last month let itself be known, and Alex immediately felt a rush of panic. What if it was another prank? What if it was all going to be fake in the end?

But he remembered what Martin said, and he thought about all the days he and Damián had already had together.

“When do you want to go out?” Alex asked.

Damián pulled his hand away. Alex missed it immediately. His palm felt cold, and his fingers wanted to curl back around something.

Damián scrolled through his phone calendar.

“Okay. Friday. My stupid client canceled Friday because he felt bad about cheating on his wife. Is Friday good?”

Alex ignored the cheating comment. “My parents are visiting Friday, but they’ll be gone by the evening. They’re taking Eve back home with them for the weekend.”

Damián’s eyes were bright. “Perfect. Friday it is! Have you ever been to Dorothy’s? The club?”

“No.”

Alex hadn’t been to any clubs before. They weren’t really his scene. People who went to clubs were sexier and had better wardrobes and liked being in big crowds. Alex was more of a stay at home with Netflix and Twitter type of guy. Though, he had to admit the promise of going out with Damián made him willing to try something new.

“It’s a gay club,” Damián said. “It’s one of the best on this side of the city, I swear. Best drag queens, best DJs, best drinks.”

��Oh. Okay.”

Damián tilted his head. “Have you been to a gay club at all?”

Alex’s chest tightened. He had been to so few queer places in his life. He had taken Eve to pride events, of course, but never a place like a club. There were so many queer spaces that were noisy and crowded—and that was great! Alex loved that queer people got to take up spaces and be loud and get to exist with such force and strength. It was great. It was lovely. Alex was so proud that he got to be part of a community that, after trauma and tragedy, still went out to party in large masses.

But he still didn’t like clubs.

“No.”

“Want to try one out?”

“Uh.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No! I will!”

He might have fun after all. Alex trusted Damián. He trusted him a lot. And it would probably do him good to hang out in a queer space. He needed a little more socializing, he had realized, after micro-dosing a social life with Damián.

“Okay,” Damián said, nodding. “And whenever you want to leave, we can. But I promise you you’ll have fun. Dorothy’s is a good space. If we go early, it’ll be chill. There won’t be any huge crowds.”

“Can I ask a few questions?”

“Of course!”

“What do you do at a gay club?”

“We chill. Watch other people dance. Get drinks. If we stay late enough, we can watch a drag show.”

Alex had always wanted to see a drag show live.

“What do you wear?” he asked.

“What do I wear? I’ll probably wear a crop top. I just bought a new one, and I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet. You can wear whatever you’re comfortable in. But fair warning, nightclubs get hot. So, don’t wear a sweater or anything like that.”

“Can I wear a t-shirt?”

“Yeah! Perfect.” Damián took Alex’s hand again and squeezed tight. “This is so exciting! I’ve never taken anyone to their first gay club before.”

Alex would have never expected to be excited to go to a club, but he was. He was wildly excited at the idea of being around other queer people—so many queer people. And a drag show! Every second that passed, he was getting more excited about seeing a queen perform live.

“I’ll ease you into the whole scene,” Damián said.

And best of all, Alex would be spending the whole evening with Damián. Martin was right. He and Damián had totally fallen for each other.

[weasleys-bae]

Guys I've found out about ChatGPT like today and of course I let the ai generate a fluff fanfic about my best boys fred and george 💚

Please Enjoy. ☺️

Title: "A Fun-Filled Day with the Weasley Twins"

You arrive at the Weasley family home, feeling excited to spend the day with your friends Fred and George. They greet you with big grins and welcome you inside. The house is bustling with activity, and the smell of fresh pancakes fills the air.

"Y/n, welcome! Glad you could make it!" Fred exclaims, giving you a warm hug. "We have a great day planned for you."

"Hi, y/n," Ginny says, joining the group. "I heard you're going to play Quidditch. I hope you're ready for some competition."

"Of course," you say, grinning.

As you all sit down to eat, Ron tells a funny story about his failed attempt at a love potion. "I didn't realize that slugs were not the main ingredient," he says, making everyone laugh.

After breakfast, the group heads out to play Quidditch. Fred and George show off their impressive moves, and you try your best to keep up. "This is so much fun!" you shout as you zoom through the air.

When the game ends, you all head back inside to rest and catch up. Ginny shares a hilarious story about her recent prank on Hermione, which has everyone in stitches. "I can't believe you got away with it," Ron says, shaking his head in disbelief.

Fred and George begin to talk about their joke shop ideas, and they show you some of the new products they've been working on. You try out the Extendable Ears and nearly fall over laughing when you hear Ron's conversation with his mum. "Ron, put your pants back on!" she says, making everyone burst out laughing.

As lunchtime approaches, Molly calls everyone to the kitchen to enjoy a hearty meal of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. "This is amazing, Mrs. Weasley," you say, enjoying the delicious food.

After lunch, the group heads out to the nearby forest to explore. Fred and George lead the way, showing you all the hidden secrets and strange creatures that inhabit the woods. They even manage to scare Ron with a fake spider that they conjure up with their wands.

As the sun begins to set, you all head back to the house. Molly has prepared a delicious feast of treacle tart and pumpkin pie, and everyone digs in happily. Fred and George entertain you with their jokes and pranks, and you all laugh until your sides hurt.

As the night draws to a close, Fred pulls you aside and whispers in your ear, "Y/n, I had a great time with you today. You're always welcome here, and I hope we can do this again soon." He winks at you, and you feel a flutter in your stomach.

You say your goodbyes to everyone, promising to keep in touch. As you walk away from the house, you can't help but smile, feeling grateful for the amazing day you just had with your friends, the Weasley twins, Ron, and Ginny.

[alltoowelltom]

✧* tom holland masterlist *✧

* = social media fic

° = personal favorite

(organized from newest to oldest)

☆ 'tis the season

summary: taking baby to meet santa

☆ Colors

summary: you're colorblind and tom doesn't know

☆ A Missed Chance °

summary: tom thinks he's missed his chance with you when you become a single mom

☆ Misunderstandings

summary: tom worries you're being unfaithful after listening to his friends

☆ Hot Chocolate

summary: baby's first hot chocolate with dad!tom

☆ First night out without the baby

☆ Bringing your baby boy to watch Tom play golf

☆ Hey, Pumpkin

summary: you and tom sometimes disagree on such holidays you'll celebrate with your baby (dad!tom)

☆ Dad!Tom: feeling inadequate as a mother

☆ Tom's baby taking their first steps °

☆ Running errands with dad!tom and your newborn °

☆ Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

summary: when you're called in to fake date tom holland for two months to fix his public image, you never expect anything to blossom between the two of you... [complete series]

☆ Lucky *

summary: tom and y/n's family is the cutest

☆ Sick in NY

summary: tom wants to take care of you when you’re sick

☆ Girlfriend °

summary: staying the night at tom's leads to you suddenly meeting his family during a surprise visit

☆ Thirty Reasons I Love You

summary: tom struggles to find a meaningful gift for your birthday

☆ In That Dress

summary: your costume at the Holland's annual costume party causes a little issue for tom

☆ Part 2 (smut)

☆ Getaway Car

summary: you and tom scream taylor swift songs in the car together

☆ Glimpse of Us

summary: time to finally get back at Tom for his pranks. who knew he'd fall for it that easily?

☆ I'm Spider-Man °

summary: meeting someone you like is always awkward. especially when she has no idea who you are.

☆ Blueberry Muffin

summary: tom takes care of you when he worries about you forgetting to eat

☆ Jacket

summary: picking up tom & harry from the airport after a long trip. sooo much fluff.

☆ Who'd You Rather? °

☆ Part 2

summary: if there's one thing Ellen is known for, it's exposing secret relationships

☆ Rendezvous

summary: little mix!reader takes a holiday with her band and the boys

☆ Hold Your Horses! °

summary: rumors fly during an interview leading to a shock announcement for tom and his girlfriend

☆ Jellybeans °

summary: the antics of tom and his girlfriend on the red carpet ft. annoyed harry

☆ Girls Bite Back*

summary: series of posts from tom and his rockstar girlfriend

☆ Love You To The Moon And To Saturn

summary: tom wants to get matching tattoos with his girlfriend, but things don’t always go according to plan

☆ Never Grow Up

summary: two moments you witness between tom and your toddler. mainly just a healthy dose of dad!tom

☆ Out Of The Woods

summary: you rush to tom's side after an accident and have to face the possibility of losing him

☆ Beanie

summary: tom visits his girlfriend in the studio where she happens to be recording a song about him

☆ The Friendship Test

summary: taking the glamour friendship test with tom runs the risk of exposing your true feelings for each other

☆ Uncharted °

summary: tom, his girlfriend, and the boys watch uncharted for the first time. fluff and teasing ensues

☆ Mini Dates*

summary: tom and his girlfriend just want to spend time together

☆ Beauty Secrets

summary: tom crashes his girlfriend's vogue beauty secrets video

☆ Spot The Difference*

summary: tom and his girlfriend's love language is roasting each other online

☆ Pink Lines (completed series)

summary: when you find yourself alone, pregnant and scared there’s only one person you can turn to. but where do you draw the line between friendship and more?

☆ Sleep

summary: prompt tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night

☆ London Boy*

summary: y/n y/l/n releases her new album 'lover' and fans are especially interested in her 'london boy'

☆ Suck It, French Boy*°

summary: tom is jealous of his girlfriend's co-star

☆ The Silent Treatment

summary: tom is jealous when you spend the night in harrison's room after an argument

☆ Sides

summary: when you and tom have a fight, his brothers make it clear whose side they're on

☆ Grand Jete*

summary: tom's girlfriend is a ballet dancer with the paris opera ballet

☆ Twins*

summary: a cute little pregnancy announcement

☆ Tour*

☆ Tour pt. 2*

summary: tom & co hype reader up when she goes on tour with her band

°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆・°☆.。.:*・°

last updated: 18 December 2022

[meltingpotimagines]

Fake Dating Connie

Warnings: Mentions of food

A/N: Okay, I swear at some point I'll do an actual dating Connie but this idea popped into my head and I couldn't resist

gosh can you imagine fake dating connie

and i don't mean the like cheesy hallmark "we eventually fell in love" tropes

i mean y'all were pulling a prank that was way too much fun to stop

somehow everyone believes it (except armin but that's just because he's far too perceptive to actually believe it, but he wouldn't spoil your prank)

connie feeds you sometimes

holds food up to your mouth and says "ahhh~"

you happily accept the bite while you both internally cringe and laugh your butt off

historia always coos when she sees the two of you acting couple-y

sasha makes a face but that's just bc she can't imagine someone liking connie

it's like someone liking her brother

that's gross

leans in to whisper something in your ear that makes you cover your mouth and look away

everyone thinks he whispered something dirty but really he was just roasting sasha people

sometimes connie's a little too devoted to his role

y'all were just chillin on opposite sides of the room and the second he heard someone comin he leaped at you

they walk in and just see connie curled into your side (fake) sleeping

scratching his scalp really helped seal that you two are dating

and while he'll never admit, he actually really likes it

and like

you'll be fixing his tie and he's looking down at you smiling

and everyone's thinking it's this cute moment

but you're actually making a face at him while tying it and he's trying so hard not to laugh

whenever he's sitting next to you in group settings, he always wraps an arm around your shoulder

i mean, that's what people expect, right?

tho if you're not around people, the only physical contact either of you will have will be play fighting and slapping him across the back of his head

somehow no one questions the fact that you two haven't kissed

honestly they just assume you two are shy despite all the constant pda ig