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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 9 months ago

Note

I’d love to request a fake dating fic with Dico where the reader tries to make Bam jealous by fake dating Dico but falls for him in the process

Jealousy

Y/N hatches a plan to get back at Bam, and they know just the person to go along with it.

Brandon DiCamillo X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, fake dating, jealousy, public displays of affection, finger sucking, injury, violence

The idea was childish, but you were past handling this maturely. Funnily enough, the whole situation began with you falling for Bam. For the first few months you hung out with him and his friends, it was like you got cartoon heart eyes every time he walked in the room, and with the way he acted around you, there was no way he didn’t notice. In fact, he found your little crush on him hilarious and had no qualms about using it to mess with you. One minute he’d be playing all sweet, sorta playfully joking and flirting with you, and the next you’d be the target of whatever awful prank he had in mind. You tolerated it for a month or two, assuming it was maybe his weird little way of showing love, but it really started to get on your nerves, especially with the way he kept skirting around confirming or denying if he was interested in you in the first place. That’s how you got the idea.

The only one of Bam’s friends you knew would go along with this was Dico, so it was him who you called that night. Lying on top of your comforter, you perked up when he answered his phone, “Hey, dude!” You started, rolling over onto your back, “I got this great plan to fuck with Bam.” Not only would he do anything for the sake of a joke, you were willing to bet he had some beef against the guy too. The line was quiet before Bran spoke up, “Say no more- I’m in.” You went on to tell him about what had been going on between you and Bam, and how you thought the one thing to make him come to his senses and give you an answer would be seeing you with another guy, whether that meant Bam would be throwing himself at your feet and confessing his love for you or telling you to fuck off. “Oh, that’s perfect! He’s such a jealous ass- there’s no way this can’t work.”

After you and him spent the whole night discussing gross couples stuff you could do in his line of sight, you decided to implement step one of your plan to piss Bam off that weekend. Since it was summer, you and the guys would usually spend the weekends at FDR skatepark, even if the only ones who really skated were Bam and Novak. Still, hanging out under Interstate 95 was a good way to stay cool after someone, not naming names, ‘accidently’ put a hole in the Margera’s above ground pool that duct tape couldn’t fix. You know how there’s always a guy grilling at FDR? Well today Dico was that guy, cooking the burgers Ryan brought on a little red camping grill, his look complete with one of those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons.

Bam couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you snuggling close to, of all people, Dico. His arm held you close to his body and you giggled all cute to make it seem like you were laughing at something just out of Bam’s earshot. Did he fall into the Twilight Zone, or was he just so drunk that he was seeing things? Maybe it was some sort of heat exhaustion hallucination, because there was no way in hell this was actually happening. Given how easy he wa sto read,Bam’s gawking at the two of you was impossible to ignore, and once the two of you were satisfied with the reaction you were eliciting, you decided to kick it up a notch. You gave him the cue and Bran grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the concrete with a snicker, popping open the cap and squirting some onto his fingers, holding it up to your lips like he was giving you a taste of what he was cooking. It was his idea for you to suck it off of his fingers, actually, sort of inspired by his Julia Childish bit he did for Don’t Feed Phill, and you really gave it your all, really licking and sucking at his digits until your lips popped off with a noise that echoed off the concrete that was second only to the sound of Bam’s jaw dropping.

The next thing you heard was this blunt packing noise and a, “Fuck!” Turning towards the commotion, you found Bam flat on his back, his board about twenty feet from him. Like a good best friend, Ryan was already jumping into the bowl to check on him. Peering over his sprawled out body, he held out a hand to help him up, “Shit dude…You alright?” Sitting up, Bam wobbled to his feet, rubbing the sore back of his head and brushing off the throbbing pain in his left arm, “Yeah. Just, uh- just ate shit. I’ll be fine.” The way he pretended to be so nonchalant was really quite satisfying to you and you couldn’t help but smirking a little. See, now would be the time for him to start hallucinating one of his bros getting fresh with you, after the head trauma, but no! Satisfied with your work, you and Dico sat back in half-broken lawn chairs Raab brought and ate your burgers, exchanging knowing glances between bites.

The next step of the plan was put into play in Bam’s basement while everyone was busy with his home arcade setup. You stood next to Dico, curiously peering at the match he was playing in Mortal Kombat with one arm around you, holding you close as you watched with big eyes as he executed a pretty impressive combo with Sub-Zero. All the other guys were too busy tapping away at their own games to notice anything was amiss- that is, except Bam, who was sitting on the couch with his left arm in a sling, glaring daggers at the two of you while Ryan, who sat on the other end of the couch, was filling him in about his ex girlfriend’s fancy new implants she paid for with lawsuit money, “I mean, I paid for those and I don’t even get to touch em’! Total bullshit.” Ignoring him, Bam gestured over to the bulgur display in front of him, keeping his voice quiet, “Hey, Ry. The fuck’s going on there? Those two’ve been hangin’ all over each other lately.” He didn’t seem to be as concerned with the very mild pda, and, unsatisfied with his lack of reaction Bam continued on his rant, “I’m just sayin- She’s all over for me for months, following me around like a puppy dog, and next thing I know, she’s dating Dico?” The way you giggled when his best friend leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek made his blood boil.

Ryan chuckled, bringing his beer to his lips, “Sounds like you’re a bit jealous. Should’ve fucked her while y’had the chance” Despite how obvious his jealousy was, Bam was very eager to deny it, “nah, nah- it’s not like that. You don’t get it.” Snickering, Ry playfully smacked him on the arm, “Yeah, I get it. You’re not sure if you want her or not but you certainly don’t want your buddy over there to have her.” Shooting a glance over to you and Bran all snuggled up in a scene straight out of a hallmark card, Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh, fuck you. Why’d I even talk to you about this anyhow…”

Bam decided to just come out and ask Dico about it, pulling him aside as everyone was getting ready to head out the door, “Hey, dude, what’s, uh- what’s goin’ on between you and Y/N?” Still pulling on his coat, he was obnoxiously nonchalant in reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” He tugged the bottom of his jacket down, “I just think they’re really cool and nice and funny, you know?” You said nothing. Thank god he and you had planned for this exact scenario- you really made sure you thought of everything. Still, Bam eyed you and him with suspicion, trailing after the two of you, “Oh, alright- yeah. I mean, is that it?” Pausing in the doorway, Bran turned back with a smirk to deliver the finishing blow to his ego, “Yeah. What’ re you, like- jealous or somethin’?”

After all this, the final straw was that night you all went out to the bar together, and if Bam thought he felt like a third wheel before, he really did now. Every time Dico played with your hair or made you laugh at another one of his stupid jokes, he felt the urge to reach over the bar and stab two little cocktail stirrers into his eyes. It’d keep him from staring at you like that, that’s for sure- like you were his. But he kept to himself, quietly seething in his little brooding bubble. It was a scene straight out of the discovery channel, with the two lions fighting over a wildebeest- no, a gazelle, because they’re prettier. Bam wondered what on earth was someone as hot as you doing with Dico? The two glared at each other over your head and you swear you saw his eye twitch when Bran flashed that shit eating grin when he ordered you a drink. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there.

Part of you found the thought of being fought over by two guys kind of romantic, especially given who was fighting over you. Sure, this was all a bid to get Bam’s attention, but over the course of your little experiment, you had actually been growing closer to Dico. There was something so endearing and cute about his antics that you just couldn’t ignore, and even when you weren't trying to make Bam jealous, it sorta felt natural to hang out with each other more, and maybe you struggled to keep your hands off of each other from time to time but that didn’t mean anything, right? Hell, it was Dico's arm that still sat wrapped around your waist when out of nowhere, Bam suddenly grabbed you in a flash of anger and passion and pulled you into a kiss- one of those really needy, territorial, Jack Danniel’s tinged ones- like a soldier back from war. Surprised as you were, Bran chuckled at the scene in front of him, “Woah! Easy there, cowboy…” When he finally pulled away, you were left in a daze, a pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you finally got what you wanted.

Or you got what you thought you wanted, as you realized a few weeks into you officially dating Bam. For a while, it was everything you dreamed of, all late night sports car rides and rock concert dates with your big celebrity boyfriend. But when your car broke down in the dead of winter and he was the first person you called, all you got back was a voicemail, “Hey. S’Bam. Leave it after the beep.” After the third one you gave up on trying to appeal towards him and just hung up. Shivering from the cold that was slowly creeping in, your stiff fingers finally punched in Dico’s number as a last ditch effort. One ring, two rings, click. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” You were never happier to hear his voice, and a relieved smile spread across your face as you sighed, “Oh my god…my, uh- my car broke down- like, half an hour ago. Are you busy right now?” Breathing puffs of smoke onto your hands to keep them warm, you could hear the sounds of him pulling his jacket on. “Nah, just hangin’ out at Bam’s. I’ll be there in five.” So Bam wasn't that busy. Blinking hard, you made a mental note that he was totally dead later before hanging up.

It was as if a wave of relief washed over when you saw Dico’s beater car pull around the corner. Since the day he picked that thing up from the junkyard, you teased him about how he was on tv and still getting seen in the kinda car a divorced dad would drive, but you were never happier to dive into that hunk of junk (through the window, because the passenger side door was stuck). Warming your frigid hands by the half working vent, you shuddered, “Oh, you are a lifesaver!” Smiling, he shifted the car into gear while you buckled your seatbelt. “Hey, any time! I’ll always be there for you, man.” A little glimmer hit your eye at his promise and you could swear your heart was going to flutter out of your chest, “Always?”

“Yeah.”

#jackass #brandon dicamillo #bam margera #ryan dunn #chris raab #brandon novak #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #Brandon dicamillo X Reader #bam margera x reader

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welcometojackass2022 · 2 years ago

Text

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Boys x Fem!Reader) [Smut] (Bam, Dico, Raab, Ryan, Rake)

I wrote this based on my desire to be the entire CKY friend group’s personal whore. I would have included Frantz, Jess and Bottaro but I’d already locked in the other five guys and figured I’d keep it to those five so this isn’t too long. You get a separate scene with each guy so feel free to skip to your favorite boys. Most of the GIFS were previously provided to me by @lovelyra <3

Description: You’re a valuable asset to the CKY friend group. You help them with pranks, you film stunts for them, you make them laugh, and, best of all, you let them all have their way with you whenever they want. You’re their own personal free use sex doll, and it’s the best job in the world.

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Free Use/Group Free Use, Female Reader, Each guy takes a turn with you at different times so there’s no threesomes here but they all explicitly share you, You’re like a friend with benefits except for the entire friend group, Bam’s pretty sub, Raab’s pretty sub, the rest are various shades of dom, zero plot here tbh

@asskickedbygirl @butttxray @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll @cryinonthefloor553 literally just tagging everyone I figured would be interested.

The number one rule of being the friend group’s free use girl was that Bam always went first—and by first, I mean first thing in the morning before the rest of the guys were even awake. If you were in the kitchen making breakfast, he’d come in and try to get you to fuck him while you cooked bacon on the stove. If you were on the couch watching TV, he’d toss the remote across the room and have you ride him right there on the living room carpet. And if you were in bed, he’d waltz right in without knocking and obnoxiously throw himself on top of you to wake you up, which was what he had chosen to do on this particular morning.

You opened a bleary eye to glare at Bam as he threw himself on top of you, his long hair falling into your face as he stared down at you with a grin. “Did I wake you, sleeping beauty?” You rolled your eyes and pushed him off enough to sit up as you yawned. “No, Bam, of course not. It’s not like you just threw your entire body weight on top of me, that would never wake me up.” Bam’s grin widened, and he pointedly ignored your sarcastic reply as he crawled under the covers of your bed and pressed himself against you, grabbing your arms and wrapping them around himself so you were cuddling his body close to yours. “You’re so warm.” You grimaced. “Your feet are cold.” Bam shrugged, not looking sorry in the least as he ran his ice cold feet up your legs under the covers. “All the more reason to be under the blankets with you, you can warm them up for me.” You shook your head in disbelief, but you couldn’t hide the smile that was starting to form on your lips. He was annoying as hell, but in an endearing way. You leaned closer to him and pressed your lips against his in a kiss that started out gentle but soon became eager and rough from just how desperate Bam was for your touch; you could feel his hard cock pressed against your thigh under the covers, and you palmed it as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, prompting him to whine softly against your lips and pull away with a pout.

“Damn you, (Y/n), I was trying not to get hard. I don’t have time to let you fuck me today.” You raised an eyebrow. “Why’d you even wake me up if we’re not gonna have sex?” Bam rolled his eyes, resting his head against your neck and closing his eyes. “I wanted to cuddle for a little bit. I have to leave soon to go meet Frantz to film some extra bits for Viva La Bam, and I figured I could get in a little spooning time beforehand. But then you just had to go and kiss me like that and now I’ve got a boner, so thanks a lot for ruining my plans.” You laughed. “How does you having a hard-on stop us from spooning?” Bam shot you a look. “Well I’m obviously not gonna leave this room with a boner, so now we have to spoon and fuck around at the same time, and we have to do it fast. I have to be out of here in like fifteen minutes.” He turned over so his back was against your chest, draping your arm over him so you were spooning him from the back, and then he guided your hand back down to his bulge. You laughed, squeezing his erection in your hand. “You’re so demanding, Margera. Let me guess, I give you a handjob while you lay there and whine like a little bitch the whole time?” He looked back at you with a mischievous little smirk. “You’re a goddamn mind reader. Now get going, babe, I haven’t got all day.” You rolled your eyes, snaking your hand down the front of his boxers to wrap your fingers around the base of his hot, hard little cock with a teasing pump. “You know, King Bam, a ‘please’ would be nice once in a while.”

Bam didn’t respond, merely leaning his head back against your chest with his eyes closed as he took in the feeling of your soft hand gripping his shaft. You rubbed your finger over his tip, circling his slit and swiping up a bead of precum, and his mouth fell open as he let out a breathy moan. Your grip on his cock tightened and you pumped his shaft even faster, rubbing over his balls with your free hand and pressing down on the head of his cock to keep him from cumming too quickly. Another whine left his lips, which were shiny and slick with the drool he was struggling to keep in his mouth as he bucked his hips against your firm touch, his tummy and chest jerking every time your fingers slipped over his slit or rubbed over the underside of his shaft. After an especially firm stroke, Bam’s hips stuttered, and he started to pull away from your grip; unsurprisingly, given how sensitive his cock was and how easy it was to overstimulate it. On most mornings like this you would have kept on teasing him for at least another half hour just for your own amusement, but this needed to be over with quickly if he was gonna leave the house on time, so instead of showing mercy and going a little gentler you merely doubled down and began jerking him off even more intensely, squeezing his balls in your hand and playing with his tip over and over again until his cock was twitching wildly in your grip, his hips bucking forward desperately as he got closer to cumming. Bam craned his head back to bury his face in your tits, grabbing at your arm as you roughly stroked his shaft until, finally, he whinily blew his load all over your hand.

You held him against you for a minute, spooning him while you let him catch his breath, and then he turned his head back to give you another kiss, this one much softer than the one he’d given you earlier. “Thank you.” You smiled, pushing his long hair out of his face affectionately. “Anytime, Bam. Here, clean up your mess.” You held your hand up to his lips, letting him lick his cum off your fingers, and then you pressed a kiss against the back of his neck and sat up against your pillows. “You’ve gotta leave pretty soon, right? Might wanna go straighten your clothes out and fix your hair, just so Frantz doesn’t ask any questions.” Bam sat up too, smoothing his hair out and tucking his soft cock back into his boxers. “Frantzy boy’s usually too busy cumming his pants over his new camera equipment to notice anything else. I do need to go ahead and leave, though. Sorry for waking you up so early.” His voice softened a little bit towards the end, and you affectionately stroked his hair. “Aw, no worries, Bam. You know I like spending my mornings with you. And anyway, it’s better than what you did yesterday, trying to get me to fuck you while I was cooking bacon on the stove.” Bam grinned. “Oh come on, that wasn’t so bad.” You shot him a look. “Bam, you got burned by the grease at least three different times and the pan almost caught fire.” He shrugged, getting up from the bed and smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. “It was worth it, though. Listen, don’t let the other guys wear you out too much, okay? I wanna sleep in here with you tonight.” You smiled. “Sure thing. See you tonight.” You watched him leave.

Once he’d gone and closed the door behind him, you laid back down and pulled the covers over your head, knowing good and well you most likely wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep; falling back asleep after messing around with Bam was just about impossible, which was why he was basically your human alarm clock. You laid there for a few minutes, waiting for the last remaining traces of sleepiness to fade away, and then you got up out of bed and got ready, heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. You leaned down to splash water on your face, and when you straightened up, you noticed in the reflection of the mirror that Dico was standing in the doorway of the bathroom with his trademark smirk on his face as he watched you freshen up. “Jesus, Bran, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days if you keep sneaking up on me like that.” He laughed, leaning against the doorway and turning his baseball cap backwards. “Funny you say that, my ex-girlfriend said the same thing. She had the loveliest funeral, wish you could have been there.” You playfully rolled your eyes, drying off your face with a towel and turning to look at him. “You’re a riot, Bran. What are you doing up so early? It’s not even half past nine.” Dico fidgeted with his hat as he grinned. “I heard Bam’s whiny ass moaning at the top of his lungs a few minutes ago. The whole neighborhood probably heard him, actually, that loudmouth. What were you even doing to him?” You raised your hands defensively. “Just a little handjob, that’s all. He had to leave early to go film some stuff with Frantz so I had to make it quick.”

Dico raised his eyebrows. “You must have been practically ripping his dick off if it was making him that loud. I’m kinda jealous, honestly, you should give me one of those power handjobs sometime. Actually, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to get my turn in before the other assholes wake up and try to fight me for you.” You shot him a look. “Fight? What are you, a Roman gladiator?” He grinned. “I can be, if you’re down for some roleplay.” You shook your head. “No way. Absolutely not. I’m never doing roleplay with you again, not after that Ben Franklin fiasco last month.” You led Dico out of the bathroom to the kitchen, and he laughed. “Oh come on, you’re not still mad about that, are you? The whole point of roleplay is to get into character and that’s exactly what I did.” You frowned, opening the cabinet to grab a container of pancake mix. “I never asked you to dress up as Benjamin Franklin of all people, Dico. I thought you were gonna be a professor or a doctor. You know, something sexier than a founding father.” Dico took a bag of shredded cheese out of the fridge and stuffed a handful in his mouth. “That’s boring, babe, nothing’s sexier than a founding father. And anyway, Benjamin Franklin actually got a lot of pussy, so I was way more on theme than you’re giving me credit for.” You snickered, swiping the bag of cheese from him and sticking it back in the fridge. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. So what were you wanting me to do, anyway? I’m guessing you’re not gonna copy Bam.” He pulled out the orange juice and drank straight from the carton, nodding as juice trickled down his chin.

“Figured you might get a little bored if you have to give two handjobs in a row.” You smiled with the slightest bit of amusement at how casually disgusting he was as you took the carton of juice away and put the cap back on. “How thoughtful of you. What did you have in mind, then?” Dico leaned back against the countertop with a little grin, fiddling with the brim of his baseball cap. “I was thinking maybe I could eat you out while you sit on the kitchen table.” Your eyes widened, and you leaned over to feel his forehand with the back of your hand. “Are you feeling okay, Dico? Is there some kind of sickness going around that I wasn’t aware of?” Dico shot you a look, swatting your hand away with a sheepish grin. “Oh come on, it’s not like I never eat you out. I ate you out a couple weeks ago, remember?” You put the container of juice back in the fridge and shrugged. “I mean yeah, Bran, you do it every now and then, and it’s nice, but usually you just ask me for blowjobs, not that I mind it that much. I guess I’m just surprised you’re offering it out of nowhere, and on the table of all places.” He grinned. “I had a dream about it last night. You were sitting on the kitchen table and I was eating you out. It was pretty hot. Aside from the fact that you were dressed like a clown. Actually, now that I think about it, that just made it hotter. You look sexy in clown shoes.” He leaned over to kiss you on the cheek, and you couldn’t help but smile. “That’s definitely what you want to do today? Eat me out on the kitchen table?”

Dico nodded. “Either that or we try the Benjamin Franklin roleplay again.” You laughed. “Guess I’ll go sit on the kitchen table, then.” You set aside the box of pancake mix you’d planned on using and made your way over to the table, sitting down on top of it and pulling up your nightgown to give him access to your panties, and Dico sat down in one of the chairs at the table so he was facing you, pushing your nightgown further up your legs to expose your bare thighs and leaning down so his face was barely an inch away from your pussy. He quickly pulled your panties aside to show off your dripping wet pussy lips, rubbing his fingers over your entrance and just barely pushing one of his fingertips inside you to feel your wetness. Dico grinned. “Damn, already wet and I’ve barely even touched you.” You shrugged. “Maybe jerking Bam off turned me on.” He smirked, pulling his finger away and grabbing at your hips to hold your body steady as he moved his face closer to your pussy. “Whatever you have to tell yourself, (Y/n). Alright, don’t squirm too much. Or do. Whichever one means it feels good. I can never remember.” Dico leaned close and pressed his lips against your wet pussy, staring up at you with a slightly smug look as he circled the tip of his tongue around your clit. You moaned softly under your breath, pushing your hips a little further forward so your pussy was closer to his mouth, and his look became even smugger as he sucked on your sensitive clit.

Dico’s fingers groped and squeezed at your soft thighs, his hands guiding your legs over each of his shoulders to give himself more access to your wet folds, carefully running the tip of his tongue over the line between your pussy lips to taste you. You smiled at how uncharacteristically cautious he was being; as much as he’d protested, the idea that Dico didn’t eat you out all that often was 100 percent accurate, and as a result of his lack of familiarity with it, he was easily the least skilled at it out of the entire household. That’s not to say he was bad; he genuinely tried his best every time, and he never had issues making you cum. He just didn’t dive straight into it with desperate hunger like Bam and Raab did, and he didn’t know all kinds of interesting tongue maneuvers like Rake and Ryan did. He was very straightforward and blunt about it, which was admittedly the thing you liked most about messing around with Dico. No frills, no romance, no flattery. He made you laugh, told you exactly what he wanted to do, and then he did it. As much as you appreciate romance and intimacy, especially from some of the other guys in the group, it was nice to have someone to go to when you weren’t in the mood for sweet, flowery sex. Dico ran his tongue up the length of your pussy again, lapping up the taste of your wetness, and after a moment you gently pushed on the back of his head, motioning for him to get on with it. “Come on, Dico, get in there, it’s not gonna bite you.” He grinned up at you. “You sure about that? I could have sworn I saw a set of teeth down here a few seconds ago.” But he obliged you, his hands still on your thighs to keep himself steady as he pushed his face right up against your pussy, the tip of his nose pressed against your clit as he licked and sucked on your sensitive pussy lips.

You gasped at the feeling of the tip of his tongue penetrating your wet folds, and Dico’s grip on your thighs tightened, the smallest of smirks on his lips as he pulled away to kiss a line up your inner thighs. “When you cum, try not to get it all over the table. Aim it at my mouth. Women can aim, right?” You rolled your eyes at him, bucking your hips up to try and get your pussy back up against his face, and he took the hint, attaching his lips to your clit and sucking on it as he moved one of his hands away from your thighs to push a finger inside you once again. His saliva mixed with your wetness made it nice and slick, and he slid his fingerin and out of your dripping cunt with ease, hooking it up to brush his fingertip against your sensitive spot as his tongue swirled over your clit once again. You wrapped your legs around his neck, pushing his head down so his face was pressed against your pussy once more and his head was clamped between your thighs. Dico aggressively circled his tongue over your clit repeatedly until your legs started to shake, and then he sucked on it over and over again until you were on the brink of orgasm, a loud moan leaving your lips as you bucked your hips against his lips one final time and then came against his mouth. Dico didn’t bother waiting for you to finish before he was already eagerly lapping up your juices from your overstimulated cunt, smiling when you whined softly under your breath and stroked his hair until he pulled away. “Wow, that always ends up tasting way better than I think it will. I always think it’s gonna taste like battery acid and instead it just tastes like pussy.” You laughed, smoothing his hair down as he helped you off the kitchen table and fixed your panties and nightgown. “Very observant of you, Bran. Pussy tastes like pussy. Who could have guessed?” Dico grinned at you.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. How did I do?” You smiled and leaned up to give him a real kiss; Dico liked long, overly noisy kisses when it was just the two of you. “You did great, baby, thank you. Here, let me pay you back before everyone else wakes up.” You reached for the button of his jeans, only to realize there was a wet spot over his crotch, and when you looked up at him, he was grinning with a slightly red face. “Bran….did you cum in your pants while you were eating me out?” He nodded, pulling his jeans away from his boxers with an icked out look. “Yeah. It’s kinda your fault, though. You were thrusting your pussy right up against my face like a porn star, it was really hot. I need to go and change before I get a goddamn rash.” He leaned down to give you another obnoxiously long kiss, and then pulled away with a grin, walking off towards his room. “Smear a little mustard on that pussy before Rake’s turn, he’ll really appreciate it. Tell him it was my idea!” You laughed, shaking your head as you watched him go, and then you went back to the cabinet and got out the box of mix you’d put back; giving a handjob and getting eaten out all in the span of thirty minutes had made you hungry. By the time you’d eaten the pancakes, the rest of the house still hadn’t woken up yet, so you wandered into the living room and flopped down on the couch, turning on the TV and paying only the slightest bit of attention to the show that was on as you waited for the rest of the guys to wake up—“the rest of the guys” meaning Ryan and Raab. Rake had left for work before you’d woken up and wouldn’t be home til later, Bam still wasn’t back from filming stuff with Frantz, and Dico would most likely be upstairs playing his video games for the rest of the day.

The fact that Raab and Ryan were the ones still left in the house was pretty unfortunate for you, given that they slept in way later than everyone else, but it at least gave you some time to chill out and watch TV. Three hours passed, and the boys still hadn’t woken up. You glanced over at the big clock on the wall; 12:30pm on the dot. Jesus, how late did they stay up last night? Just as you were considering going upstairs and playing video games with Dico to pass the time, Raab made his way down the steps, his hair messy and his t-shirt and ratty gym shorts slightly wrinkled. “Did you sleep well, Raab? I was waiting for someone else to wake up, half the day’s already passed.” Raab sleepily rubbed his eyes and smiled at you as he walked over to the couch, crawling on top of you to lay with his head on your chest. “Me and Ryan stayed up until 4am watching some car show on MTV.” You grimaced, stroking Raab’s hair with one hand and rubbing his back with the other. “I can’t say I’m surprised. Ryan probably won’t be up for another four hours.” Raab yawned, shaking his head as he buried his face in between your boobs. “That’s if we’re lucky.” You smiled. “You’re not still tired, are you? You slept for over 8 hours, baby, you should feel great.” Raab sheepishly nodded, glancing up at you with a little grin. “I’m always tired after I stay up that late. Can I just lay here with you for a little bit? I wanna cuddle.” You nodded, pulling him closer to you and playing with his hair. “Sure, baby, not much else for us to do anyway. Just don’t fall asleep again, you might end up drooling all over me like you did last time.”

Raab was always the one you went to when you were in the mood for affection; he was sweet, he was cuddly, and he seemed to get off more from pleasuring you than from you pleasuring him. His only real issue was that he was always too scared to tell you when he was in the mood for sex. The rest of the guys had no issue announcing it right then and there, but Raab would either stay quiet and wait for you to notice first or would just keep it to himself and not tell you until much later, after his boner had already gone away. You knew it was just his fear of not wanting to seem pushy, but it was a little disheartening. He deserved to get off just as much as the rest of the guys, but typically only got off with you about half as much as they did because of how often he went without telling you he was horny. Even now, as you rubbed his back and stroked his hair, you could feel his cock starting to harden against your thigh, yet he still hadn’t said so much as a word about it. “Raab, sweetie, are you hard?” Raab didn’t respond, but you could hear the faintest of whines coming from his mouth as he buried his face even further into your breasts and tightened his grip on your shirt. “Raab? Baby, here, look at me.” You gently tugged on his hair to get him to look up at you, and when he pulled away from your chest, his face was bright red with embarrassment. “You’re allowed to tell me when you’re turned on, baby, you don’t have to hide it. I help the other boys out with it when they ask, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get the same treatment.” Raab nodded. “I know, but I don’t wanna get on your nerves.”

You smiled. “Baby, you never get on my nerves. I like helping you with that stuff, it’s hot. Besides, you always pay me back for it, don’t you? You make me feel good too, Raab, you can’t forget that.” Raab looked slightly reassured by this, his face a little less red as he rested his head on your shoulder and stared up at you. “That’s true…you promise it won’t get on your nerves?” He gently pressed a line of kisses up your neck, and your smile softened. “Yes, baby, I promise. Now, do you want me to help you with that little problem between your legs or do you just want to cuddle?” Raab sighed, resting his face against your boobs again. “I wish there was a way to do both at the same time.” You giggled, pushing your hand up under his shirt to rub his bare back. “There is a way to do that, Raab. It’s called dry humping.” His face lit up, and he grinned. “Oh, right! I forgot about that. Can we do that, then?” You nodded, helping him slide up so his bulge was pressed to your upper thigh and his face was against your neck, and you wrapped your arms around him to pull his body right up against your own. “Can you kiss me first?” You smiled. “Of course, sweetie, come here.” You leaned down and pressed your lips against his, letting him run his hands up the length of your sides to cup your face, and then he breathlessly pulled away, his face pink and his lips slightly wet with saliva as he moaned softly. You could feel his cock hardening even more against your thigh, and you pushed your leg up against it, eliciting an even louder moan from Raab as he desperately humped his bulge against your thigh.

He fumbled with the neckline of your shirt, trying to tug it downwards, and you helpfully pulled your boobs out for him so he could suck on them; gratefully, he gave you another slightly sloppy kiss and then immediately focused his attention on your boobs, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and gently sucking on it to anchor himself as he thrust his bulge down against your thigh repeatedly. You soothingly stroked his hair, pressing down on his lower back with your free hand to keep his bulge right up against your thigh so he could lazily grind up against it as he sucked on your tits. You could see a wet spot starting to form over his gym shorts from his precum, and you applied a little extra force as you pushed your thigh up against his bulge once again, prompting Raab to whine against your nipple as he sucked a little harder, drool dripping from his lips. “Is your poor little cock staring to leak, baby? Do you want to take it out?” Raab nodded, reaching down to fumble with his shorts as he pulled his cock out of his boxers, and you cooed over him, stroking the tip with the pad of your thumb as he switched his mouth to your other boob, suckling on your nipple with a peaceful look on his face as he shut his eyes, his hands running over your sides and gently squeezing the breast he wasn’t sucking on. You rubbed another circle over his tip, swiping up some of the precum, and then you pulled up the hem of your nightgown, gently guiding his cock so the tip was between your thighs and pressing down on his lower back to signal for him to start thrusting his cock into the line of space between your thighs, which Raab eagerly obeyed, his lips falling open as he took in the feeling of your soft thighs wrapped around his sensitive pink shaft.

Raab weakly bucked his hips just enough to slide his little cock in and out of the space between your thighs, accidentally scraping his teeth over your nipple when his underside dragged over your soft skin; he pulled away and kissed your nipple apologetically, burying his face in your neck as he continued to fuck your thighs with all the energy he could muster. You wrapped your arms around him to cuddle him close to you like he’d wanted earlier, enjoying the warmth of his body against yours, and you felt his hips begin to stutter, like he was getting close. Soft whimpers left his mouth as he pressed little kisses to the side of your neck, his hands grabbing and pulling at the fabric of your nightgown as he began humping his hips forward with as much force as he could, thrusting with quick, shallow thrusts that brought him even closer to orgasm. Right as he reached the brink of cumming, he forced himself to stop, like he was intentionally edging himself, and then he thrust his cock in between your thighs one more time, as deeply and powerfully as he could, crying out with a loud whine as he coated your inner thighs with his cum. His body immediately collapsed on top of yours, his face buried in your boobs and his arms wrapped around your hips to hold himself as closely to your body as he could. His hair was all messy, his face red and slightly sweaty from how much energy he’d used up, and you comfortingly smoothed his hair down and wiped his forehead, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and rubbing his back as he tried to steady his breathing. You smiled, cuddling him close to your body. “You did so good, Raab. You’re such a good boy for me.”

Raab grinned up at you, cheeks slightly pink as he gave you an adoring look. “Thanks, (Y/n). Here, let me clean up my mess.” He pulled his body away from yours, somewhat begrudgingly, and got up from the couch to grab some tissues from the box on the table, helpfully cleaning his cum off of your inner thighs and throwing away the tissues. He helped you fix your nightgown, pulling it back down to cover your upper legs, and then quickly laid back down on top of you and cuddled himself up against your chest once again. “That was fun, we should do that again sometime.” You laughed. “What, thigh fucking? Sure, anytime you want. Remember what I said, Raab. You can always ask me to do things with you, just like the other guys do. Don’t be afraid to say something.” He nodded. “I won’t. But sometimes I just feel like cuddling, like right now.” You kissed him on the forehead. “We can cuddle for as long as you want, sweetie. Ryan’s still asleep, Dico’s probably not gonna put down the video games for another five hours, and Bam and Rake are working, so it’s just you and me for a little bit.” Raab snuggled up against your chest, laying his head down and closing his eyes as he enjoyed the silence and the feeling of your arms around him and your body underneath him, and the two of you laid there for a while as you took advantage of the unusual peace and quiet. The house was usually loud and crazy, with Bam and Ryan and Dico and the rest all pulling crazy pranks on each other and filming themselves doing dangerous stunts and getting into fistfights with each other for all hours of the day and night, so it was nice to get an hour or two to just relax.

Not that the period of relaxation lasted that long; only a half hour had passed when you heard the sound of someone stomping down the steps, and a quick glance towards the stairs told you that it was Ryan, looking just as sleepy as Raab had but also at least ten times more irritated. “Morning, Ry. Or afternoon, I should I say.” His expression softened a little bit at the sight of you laying out on the couch, and he rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he made his way over to you and Raab. “I made the mistake of leaving my door unlocked last night, so Bam came in while I was sleeping and covered my entire fucking floor in shaving cream and thumbtacks.” You grimaced, stroking Raab’s hair as you stared up at Ryan. “That sucks. Bam’s such a little shit sometimes.” Ryan nodded, picking up you and Raab’s legs and sitting down on the couch, laying your legs back down so they rested over his lap. “Tell me about it. So what’ve you gotten up to today?” You smiled. “Quite a bit, actually. First, Bam woke me up by jumping on me, cuz he wanted to spoon, and then I gave him a quick handjob. Then I got ready and went to go make pancakes, but Dico wanted to eat me out on the kitchen table, so that happened first. Then I made pancakes. And then Raab came down and him and I cuddled for a bit and he thigh-fucked me.” Ryan’s eyebrows raised. “Busy day.” You nodded. “Yep. My schedule’s been jam-packed.” Ryan turned his attention to the show that was on the TV for a moment, subconsciously stroking his thumb over your leg as he leaned back against the couch. You glanced down at Raab, and, to your surprise, he was asleep against your chest.

“I’ve never seen someone take a nap so quickly after waking up from a full eight hours of sleep.” Ryan shrugged, half-smiling. “I’m still tired now and I was asleep for nine hours.” You laughed, leaning over to run your fingers through Ryan’s hair, which was sticking up from where he’d slept on it. “How’d you end up cleaning all that shaving cream up?” Ryan shook his head. “I didn’t. I’m just gonna sleep down here on this couch until it gets on Bam’s nerves and he cleans my floor up himself.” You playfully rolled your eyes as you gently slid yourself out from under Raab, letting him lay out on the couch as you moved to sit in Ryan’s lap. “Sounds like something you’d do. I’d do the same thing, honestly, I hate cleaning up the messes he makes.” Ryan wrapped both arms around your waist, leaning his head against the back of your neck as he pulled you back against him. “Me neither. I don’t know how you stand him sometimes.” Truthfully, you didn’t know either. Bam could be the biggest asshole on earth every now and then, pulling the meanest pranks you’d ever seen and destroying other peoples property without a single ounce of guilt. But at the same time, he could also be the biggest sweetheart when he wanted to be, cuddling you and telling you how pretty you were and randomly buying you things he knew you really wanted simply out of wanting to do something nice for you. This was kind of hard to explain to the other guys, though, especially in situations like this where Bam had done something dickish to one of them, so you merely shrugged with a smile. “No idea. I guess I just have a soft spot for him. And to be fair, the rest of you guys aren’t complete angels either.”

Ryan grinned. “You got me there. I’m not that bad, though, I know how to behave myself most of the time.” You smirked, leaning back against his chest. “Most of the time.” Ryan’s grip on your waist tightened, and he pressed his lips against the space under your ear, his cock hardening underneath you from where you sat in his lap. You glanced back at him with a suggestive smile, purposefully grinding down against the bulge and grinning when Ryan groaned under his breath and tightened his grip on your waist even further. “I think it’s time for your turn, Ry…you’re the only guy in the house right now who hasn’t had yours yet. Rake will get his when he gets home from work tonight, but that won’t be for another three hours.” You could feel Ryan’s lips turn up into a smile against your ear. “Plenty of time for us to do whatever we want.” You nodded, tilting your head back so Ryan could press his lips against yours, and he did, his hand wandering up to grab and squeeze at your breasts through the material of your clothing, fingers deftly circling over your nipples as they hardened under his touch. Ryan’s other hand slipped under the nightgown to rub at your clit through your panties, which were already slightly damp from how wet you were, but you stopped him. “Dico ate me out earlier and Rake’s probably gonna want to fuck me later. I just don’t wanna get too sensitive down there. Maybe I can just focus on you?” Ryan looked slightly surprised and the tiniest bit disappointed, but he nodded. “I mean, I’d be an idiot to say no to that. What did you have in mind, honey?” The nickname always made you melt, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Hmm…how about a blowjob?” Ryan instantly perked up, looking much less irritated than he had earlier. “Fuck yes.” You grinned, immediately getting up from his lap and turning to face him as you dropped to your knees, and you quickly undid the button and zipper of his jeans and pulled his thick, hard cock out, letting it smack against his belly as you admired the sight of it. The tip was flushed red from how hard he was, and you ran the tip of your tongue over his slit, a movement that made Ryan curse under his breath as you took the head of his cock into your mouth and suckled on it. You kept one hand wrapped around the base of his cock to hold it steady as you sank down on it with your lips, taking more and more of his shaft into your mouth as Ryan tangled his fingers in your hair to help guide you all the way down on it. Once your mouth was wrapped all the way around the base of his cock, Ryan cupped your face in his hands and forced you to look up at him, groaning under his breath at the sight of your mouth stuffed with his cock. “Fuck, baby, you look so pretty when you’re taking my dick like this.” You moaned softly on his cock, drooling on it as you pulled it halfway out of your mouth and ran the tip of your tongue over the underside of his shaft, and with your free hand you played with his sack, rubbing and gently squeezing his balls. Ryan let you tease the head of his cock for a little while longer, and then he firmly pushed down on the back of your head, signaling for you to take the entirety of his cock in your mouth once again.

You obediently took his cock into your mouth all the way to the base once again, and he tightened his grip on your hair, holding your mouth down on his cock so the tip was pressed against the back of your throat. You resisted the urge to gag as you got used to the feeling of his cock all the way down your throat, and once you’d gotten used to it, Ryan pulled you all the way up off his shaft and then promptly pushed you all the way back down on it, fucking your throat with a steady rhythm that was just barely slow enough for you to not be gagging on his cock too much. Saliva dripped from your lips and coated his cock and balls in a way that made them even slicker, allowing your mouth to slide off and on his shaft with ease as he fucked your mouth, his hands still cupping your face as he watched your lips stretch out around his fat cock. Ryan fucked your mouth even faster, his balls slapping against your chin as his thick tip rammed against the back of your throat, and he grunted under his breath, his cock twitching in your mouth. “Jesus Christ, baby, your mouth feels so fucking incredible, just keep doing what I show you to do, sweetheart.” He slowed the pace of his thrusts, forcing his cock all the way down your throat and keeping you still in that position for a few seconds before pulling you all the way off of it again so only the head of his cock was in your mouth. “Stick your tongue out for me, honey, I wanna cum all over it.” You obediently stuck your tongue out, and he placed only the tip of his cock on it. “Alright, use your hands now, baby. Be a good girl for me and make me cum, okay?”

You nodded fervently, eager to make him cum all over your tongue, and you jerked him off with both hands, the saliva from your mouth keeping his shaft nice and slick so your hands slid over it easily. You could feel it twitching in your hands, precum steadily dripping from the slit onto your tongue as he got closer to cumming, and Ryan began to curse under his breath, lightly bucking his hips up to make his tip slide over your tongue until he finally came with a loud groan, painting your tongue with his seed. “Keep that mouth open, honey, let me see.” You opened your lips even wider so he could see his cum on your tongue, and a look of satisfaction crossed his face. “Perfect. Go ahead and swallow it for me.” You obediently swallowed it, savoring the salty taste, and he helped you to your feet right away, wiping your mouth for you as you tucked his cock back in and fixed his fly. “Thanks for that, honey, you always know just what to do to cheer me up.” You laughed. “You’re welcome, Ry, anytime. I’m just amazed Raab slept through that.” Raab was still snoozing peacefully on the couch. You led Ryan back over to sit on the couch again, opting to sit next to him instead of directly on his lap so as to not mess with his already overstimulated cock, and you flipped through the channels until you found a movie for the two of you to watch as you waited for either Raab to wake up or for Rake to get home from work; whichever came first. Ryan wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close, letting you rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you watched TV, and you were once again able to enjoy the peace and quiet for a bit.

This time, the peace lasted for quite a while; Raab napped without so much as stirring for well over three hours, Dico remained upstairs playing his video games, and Bam and Rake had yet to return from their respective jobs, so you and Ryan were able to sit and watch movies together until well past 5pm. Just as you were starting to get bored, you heard the sound of the front door opening, and a few moments later Rake walked through the doorway of the living room, looking more than a little exhausted from his long day at work but clearly happy to be back home. You instantly got up and ran over to give him a hug, and he warmly returned it, wrapping his arms around you and letting you bury your face in his neck. “God, it’s nice to get a welcome like that every day when I come home from work.” You pulled away to give him a quick peck on the lips, and Ryan jokingly made a throwing up sound from the couch. “Get a room, assholes.” You shot him a playful look. “I know you’re not talking, Ry. I just sucked your dick in the middle of the living room.” Rake raised an eyebrow. “Damn, a blowjob? I’m jealous.” You grinned. “You won’t be jealous after we go up to your room.” Rake held his arm out, and you linked your own through it. “You’re right, I won’t. Lead the way, my lovely lady.” You giggled, leading him up the stairs towards his room and waving to Ryan as you passed him. “Don’t be too loud, you dickheads, I’m trying to watch a new car show.”

You could barely contain your excitement as you got closer to Rake’s bedroom. If the other guys were full course meals, Rake was a rich dessert and a bottle of expensive wine. He was confident, experienced, skilled, and extremely intimate, and he always made you his main priority during sex. He knew how to be sweet and affectionate but also passionate and a little rough, especially when he needed to blow off steam after a long day at work. Plus, sex with him usually ended with him cuddling you in his bed until you fell asleep, which was the most comfortable feeling ever. As soon as you reached his room, you quickly threw the door open and led him inside, closing and locking the door behind you and pulling him down to kiss you. Rake grabbed at your hips, running his hands up your sides and over your lower back as he slid his tongue into your mouth, and you reached out to grab at his cock through his jeans, prompting Rake to pull away with a pleased look. “Damn, baby, you’re really at it today.” You shrugged with a little grin. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day, ever since Bam woke me up this morning.” Rake frowned, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside to reveal his bare chest as he led you over to the bed. “Bam woke you up again? Tell me he didn’t jump on you this time.” You grimaced. “I’d be lying if I said he didn’t.” Rake shook his head in annoyance. “You need to start sleeping in here with me more, I’ll beat his ass if he pulls that shit.” You giggled, running your hands up his bare belly and chest appreciatively. “Aw, how sweet. Maybe I’ll take you up on that, if I don’t beat his ass first.”

Rake laid out on the bed and gestured for you to climb on top of him; you straddled his waist, your hands wandering his exposed body as you leaned down to kiss him again, this time much deeper than before, and Rake slid his hands under your nightgown to rub his palms over your thighs and hips, gently squeezing your soft skin in his hands. You pulled away long enough to take off the gown and throw it aside, and Rake immediately began exploring your bare body, rubbing at your pussy through your panties and pinching and twisting your nipples with his long fingers. You could feel his semi-hard cock through his jeans underneath you, and you ground your hips down against the bulge, trying to goad him into taking his cock out so you could fuck him sooner. Rake took the hint and gently pulled you off of his lap long enough to unbuckle his belt and slide his jeans and boxers off, revealing his long, thick cock in a way that made you drool with lust. You immediately took his shaft into your hand and gave it a few teasing pumps, watching it reach full hardness in your grip, and then you pulled your panties aside and hovered over the tip of his cock in preparation. Rake looked slightly surprised at how quickly you were moving with this, but you were desperate to have his big cock inside you already and didn’t feel like waiting. Rake helpfully grabbed your hips and helped you lower yourself down onto his cock head, a low groan leaving his mouth at the sight of the tip of his cock stretching out your tight wet pussy, and you slowly sank down onto the full length of his shaft, gently running your nails down his smooth chest as you adjusted to the feeling.

Rake kept a firm grip on your sides as he pulled you up and down on his cock, stretching your pussy out with his fat cock as the head pressed against your g-spot and occasionally rubbing at your clit with one hand to further stimulate you. “You’re so beautiful, baby, keep bouncing on my cock just like that. Good girl, you’re so perfect for me.” You sank all the way down on his cock again, trying to make it go as deep inside you as it could, but it wasn’t deep enough for your liking, and you knew Rake noticed instantly; he tightened his grip on your hips and quickly flipped you over so he was fucking you missionary style, stuffing your pussy with his cock as he fucked you with slow, deep, powerful thrusts that made you feel full with his dick. “Is that enough for you, baby? You like being all filled up with my dick? I love seeing you like this, baby, seeing you all desperate for my dick to the point where you can’t even stand it. You need it so bad that you just have to have it all the way inside you, don’t you princess? Tell me how good it feels, sweetheart, be nice and loud for me.” He thrust his cock inside you with extra force, ramming your sensitive spot with his cock head, and you threw your head back with a loud moan. “Fuck, Rake, it feels so good, I love having your cock all the way inside me. I need to be filled with your cock, it just feels so right.” Rake nodded and leaned down to press a series of kisses down your neck and collarbone, rubbing at your clit against with one hand and tenderly stroking your face with the other as you neared your orgasm.

Rake pushed his cock all the way inside you again and just barely pushed his hips forward to hump the tip of his cock against your spot until you came all over his cock with a loud whine, your legs shaking and your fingernails digging into his back, and as soon as you had finished cumming, Rake quickly increased the intensity of his pace, thrusting inside you with as much force as he could until he finally filled your pussy with his cum, a rough-sounding moan falling from his lips as he bred your overstimulated cunt. The two of you stayed still for a moment, catching your breath and coming down from your orgasms, and then Rake started to pull out of you; instead, you quickly stopped him. “Leave it in for a little bit, I wanna lay here and cuddle you.” Rake left his cock inside you like you asked but flipped you over again so you were laying on top of him, your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around your back. The feeling of his cock still inside you made you feel full, which in turn was making you feel sleepy, and you could feel your eyelids begin to droop with exhaustion. Rake soothingly petted your hair and rubbed your back as he pulled his comforter over the two of you. “Go ahead and go to sleep, baby, I don’t have work in the morning so we can just cuddle when you wake up.” You nodded sleepily, allowing yourself to shut your eyes and fall asleep in the comfort of Rake’s bed.

That is until about 4 hours later, when you awoke with a start to the feeling of someone throwing their entire body weight on top of you. “Wake up, bitch, you promised I could sleep in your bed with you tonight.” Oh shit, you’d forgotten about Bam. You looked up to see him standing over you with a slightly pissed off expression, Rake still fast asleep underneath you. “Sorry, Bam, Rake and I came in here after he got back from work and I guess we fell asleep afterwards.” Bam rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Just get up and let’s go to your room.” You started to get up, but then Rake woke up and tightened his grip around your waist as he shook his head. “Go back to your own bed, Bam, she’s my bed partner for the night.” Bam frowned. “No way, dickhead, I called dibs this morning.” Rake wasn’t budging, though, so after another moment of staring down at the two of you with a death glare, Bam suddenly pulled up the cover of the comforter and crawled under the blankets, crawling over to snuggle up beside you from where you were laying on top of Rake. “What the hell, Bam? Get out, I don’t what you sleeping in here.” Bam flipped Rake off. “Screw you, dick, I already told you I called dibs. If you’re not gonna honor the dibs system, then I’m just gonna have to sleep in here with you two for the night.” Rake and Bam immediately began arguing, and you playfully rolled your eyes as you buried your face in Rake’s chest. The chances of the two of them fistfighting while you were right there was very high, so there was no point in doing anything other than just closing your eyes and trying to sleep. God, the things I put up with just for the privilege of having sex with these lunatics.

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asskickedbygirl · 2 years ago

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i can just imagine you and dico as like the one couple that are so close with each other they’ve just morphed into the same person. like you guys do everything together, eat off the same plate, sit entwined with each other when you’re watching movies, showering together (not strictly in a sexual way) and even holding his dick while he pees or just sitting on the counter while he does so, rarely ever apart. you’re so comfortable with your relationship it starts to kind of annoy the others, banging on walls when the two of you are fucking in castle bam, exclaims of “that’s disgusting!” when you’re picking at his face and just a show of rolling eyes and exaggerated gags when you just start making out at random moments. sometimes you’d hear people you didn’t know too well asking dico why he’s always around you and why he’s so set on being with you, that he’s young and pretty famous and should fuck as many girls as he can but he’d shut that shit down immediately. he’d say there’s no one else in the world he’d rather be with and for the speaker to politely fuck off. you were even worse drunk, sappy and all over each other. dico even secretly tried to propose to you one night, whispering that he wants to be with you forever but you told him to ask you sober, even without a ring it’s pretty set in stone that you’re gonna be his wife one day. after all you two are basically the same person, in sickness and in health.

#brandon dicamillo #dico #jackass #cky #viva la bam #brandon dicamillo x gn!reader #brandon dicamillo drabble #drabble #jackass drabble #cky crew #asskickedbygirl #brandon dicamillo x reader #brandon dicamillo x you #brandon dicamillo imagine

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kunntzsstuff · 10 months ago

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🤲 dating johnny knoxville 🤲

#johnny knoxville #bam margera #cky crew #ryan dunn #brandon dicamillo #jackass #moodboard #dico #raab himself #rake yohn #cky #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass x reader #jeff tremaine

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jackasswhre · 1 year ago

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literally my all time favorite pictures that i will never ever get over ❤️

also johnny knoxville and norman reedus is the coolest dilf duo out there!!!!

and that picture of rake and dico is just burned into my brain oml

#jackass #jackass x reader #viva la bam #viva la bam x reader #bam margera #jackass number two #jackass the movie #johnny knoxville #brandon dicamillo #norman reedus #matthew gray gubler #rake yohn

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1800miserablethot · 6 months ago

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I’ve seen others make these head cannons and I was looking at your page and it made me think about what your head cannons would be for the jackass crew/ Viva La Bam. Like what would they do if they saw someone flirting with you, or what they would be into, etc XD

Stop because I think of this shit ALL the time

First, we have to obviously start with Bam.

Bam just like all the other fanfics he is the sub. How this man acted on Viva La Bam gives clear sub vibes. I don't even know where to begin tbh, but I do know one this is for sure he wants ALL of your attention. Have it be you're watching him do a stunt or a prank or whatever, he would drag you along everywhere just like he did Ryan.

Starting off sweet he would secretly be a cuddler, when it’s finally quiet at night (though it never is on that show) he would be curled up against you like a damn cat just sleeping away. I feel like he would constantly kiss you until he falls asleep, lazy sweet ones. He’s a nuzzler for sure, his face is always in your neck or hair.

During the daytime again he's an attention whore, where ever he is you're most likely next to him. If he gets hurt during a stunt you're the first one to him, or you’re the first one he wants by his side. Now if you get hurt then the stunts are over, he's cussing out everyone and anything that's in his way of you. You would have to calm him down afterward because he can't bear the thought of losing you or even seeing you hurt.

Jealousy, he would get very possessive. But not in a dom way, he would probably cuddle against you, start kissing your neck, or try to drag you off, etc to gain your attention back to him. He would jump into the convo and talk about himself a lot but not in a cocky way, but in a take, a hint [Y/N] is mine type of way and try to bore said person of the convo in hopes they leave.

He's a brat so he's going to do anything and everything to push your buttons. Have it be from talking back at you, doing stunts you said no to, flirting with others a bit/ letting others get touchy at like fan meets, etc (but god forbid someone gets touchy with you) especially by always flashing his navel tattoo on his lower hips. But when it comes to the bedroom/ punishment oh that bratty attitude turns into a good boy one REAL quickly. He's practically begging for forgiveness before you two even start, but you don't fall for it. By the end of the night, he's most likely going to be hoarse in the voice from screaming out your name and pleading/ begging. When he's a brat for punishment you edge him multiple times/hours until even your fingertip against his leaking cock has him sobbing and almost blowing his load. If you two are in public though you take him to a hidden area and have him get on his knees and finish you off but you don't allow him to finish so he's walking around all day with a raging one. Or perhaps if he's been REALLY bad you have him grind against your foot or leg like a dog because 99% of the time that's what he acts like lol. By the time you finally let him finish against your leg/foot his pants/boxers are already soaked with precum etc from holding back for so long. And when he does finish he has the prettiest face, I mean mouth is open, tongue out, eyes rolling and closing (unless you make him look at you while he cums) again he's a dog.

ALSO, I'll die on the hill of Bam loves when you mark him on his stomach and navel where his tattoo is so he can flaunt the marks off.

Ryan Dunn (my second hubby)

Start off sweet: Ryan is touchy af (I mean just go watch vids of him and or pictures) He’s always got an arm around you, holding your hand, kissing you, etc. He's not shy and if someone tries to hate or tease depending on who they are he either tells them to fuck off or he’s about to beat their face in. When you too are alone I feel like he would be a cuddler too but he would be the big spoon, but he loves to have your hands in his hair. (if his friends found out he's fighting for his life in the GC) again he loves kisses and affection, he's a big softy.

Jealousy wise if he sees someone flirting with you he does the opposite of Bam, he goes straight up to them and tells them to fuck off. Sometimes he has fun with them and plays along like “Yeah he really is hot huh?” and then the person would be like “Yeah wouldn't mind tapping that” and Ryan would reply “Same, that’s why I do every night” or something like that. He's very protective of you in every shape way and form. He's the one who’s stopping you from doing stunts he thinks are too dangerous.

Bedroom wise he's on top, (I feel like his favorite position is doggy because Mall of Bam just explains it) I can't picture him being bottom unless he tops from bottom but then again he's not full-on bottoming. (he thinks it’ll hurt so he's a pussy and doesn't want to try but if you put your mind to it you probably could convince him) When your “on top” it's you two grinding against each other and you talking good to him while in a heavy make-out session which has him breathy and moaning quietly while he nods and agrees to what you're saying until he has enough and flips y'alls position. During certain activities, he praises you while degrading you but not too harshly other wise he’ll end up feeling bad lol. Let's say you do convince him to “bottom” it's probably you giving him a bj and he's begging you softly to let him finish. Because you don't get him like that often so you take full advantage, (though a dirty fantasy is having him fully submit to you one day)

Chris Raab Himself

Chris would be so chill like he has 100% trust in you, if someone tries to flirt with you he’ll make a joke and be like “Yo dude I had [Y/N] first!” and you too would laugh, he loves hugging you and just randomly grabbing your face to plant one on you. He's not very affectionate but that's because he doesn't know how to lol but he tries (he was the type of kid to bring you a frog because he thought you’d like it) if you wipe out on a stunt or get hurt he’ll help you up and laugh while asking if you're okay but if he sees that you're truly hurting he’ll start to panic a bit.

He doesn't really get jealous he’ll just laugh and probably encourage the person who's trying to flirt with you because he finds it funny.

In the bedroom he is not the top I mean he's small af and how he acts does not give top vibes like he has sm bbg energy it makes me sick. He may not be as loud as bam would be but he does whimper and beg I can tell you that, I feel like he's the type of person to finish early but I also feel like he's the type to cum multiple times. So you’ll tease him seeing how many times you could make him. I feel like he wouldn't be a cuddler (or if he was he wouldn't admit it) but when y'all do he tries to big spoon but obviously that doesn't happen lol, he's very sweet though and gives lots of hugs and kisses to your cheek.

I also think he's vanilla af, but only because he hasn't tried kinkier things so that could be fun to see what he likes

Dico

He's just like a regular guy like idk how to explain lol. He's not kinky at all, he’ll like a heavy make-out session though.

He won't get jealous he's kinda like Raab hell both of them probably would be laughing. He's always joking, but when you two are alone and nothing chaotic is happening you two just lay in bed and talk, little bit of cuddling yk but not too much. I really don't have much more because I see him more as a friend.

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cielie-voss · 2 years ago

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This is so good and sweet and funny! 😍 Can't wait for a part two! Please tag me in case you post it!

First of all, I really love your writings! Especially as an ace I really appreciate that your writing isn't smut. 💕

Second: I'd like to request something, but it's absolutely ok if you don't want to write it. I saw one of these TikToks where it's like "how blabla would react if they walk into your room while you're changing" and I thought this would be a funny little head Canon thing for the jackass and/or cky guys.

Have a nice day!

Thank you! I really appreciate that you like my writing and I’m glad that you like reading them! I hope you like these headcanons! Also I’ll do a Jackass version of this same headcanon if you guys want it. :]

[CKY x GN! Reader]

How the boys would react if they walked in on you changing.

Bam Margera- He would barge into your room while rambling on about something absolutely stupid. He didn’t even realize you were changing until you said something about it, he shrugged and sat down on your bed, messing around with your stuff as he continued to talk on and on. He knows nothing about personal space and boundaries.

Ryan Dunn- He would walk in and see you, immediately closing/ covering his eyes. He’d blindly walk back towards the door, bumping into stuff on his way out as he did so. The whole times he’s basically screaming as he’s apologizing to you. Once he’s finally out of your room he’d stand outside your door, still apologizing.

Rake Yohn- He would knock on your door and not wait for your answer. He just gave you a warning so you could cover up. He’d peek his head in, tell you something, look around for a bit and then close the door as if nothing happened.

Brandon DiCamillo- Like Bam he would walk in totally distracted about something. Once he realized you were changing he’d cover his eyes and turn around. He’d stay in your room, continuing to talk to you as you changed.

Chris Raab/ Raab Himself- He wouldn’t walk in. Raab would just scream at you through the door and wait until you opened it for him. If he did walk in though, he’d just look at you, pause, then turn back around and leave while screaming for you to lock the door next time.

#cky headcanons #cky x reader #cky #cky crew #bam margera x reader #bam margera #viva la bam #ryan dunn x reader #ryan dunn #rake yohn #rake yohn x reader #chris raab #raab himself #raab himself x reader #brandon dicamillo #brandon dicamillo x reader

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jackassbrainrot · 5 months ago

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head in the game [dico x gn!reader]

desc: you know that whole sucking someone's dick while they play video games? yeah that with dico

a/n: so very selfindulgent, like every fic I write that isn't a request (and sometimes even those are selfindulgent). I imagine this as more of a fwb situation than a relationship but you do you!

warnings: oral m!receiving, swearing, objectification (sorta?), calls reader a slut once, dico's just kind of mean in this one

word count: 564

You watch Dico sitting on the couch with a controller in his hands, eyes glued to the television screen. He's been in that same position for hours, not moving a muscle aside from the fingers mashing buttons in sequences that seemed random to everyone but him.

After hours of watching him play, your bored thought spiral into an idea you couldn't resist. You walk over to the couch, his gaze piercing through you as you obscure his vision for a moment before dropping to your knees in front of him. He looks down at you with a cocked eyebrow when your hands reach to unbuckle his belt, before turning his attention back to the game, a slight smile on his face.

Pulling his dick out of his pants, you spit in your hand before stroking it slowly, hearing his breath hitch. You continue your teasing, kissing the tip and licking the shaft with little kitten licks. His breathing gets deeper, trying to stay focused despite your touches.

Not satisfied with his reactions, you decide to take him into your mouth, sinking down until your nose was touching his pelvis. A low groan leaves his throat, eyes rolling back before looking back at the tv, not sparing you a glance. Two can play this game, you think to yourself. setting an unrelenting pace. You revel in the noises he's trying to hold back.

"If I lose this round because of you, you're fucking dead." He grits through his teeth, still not looking at you, and you smile as much as the cock in your mouth allows, keeping the same pace as before. His words only egg you on, your head bobbing up and down quickly, spit spilling from your stretched lips, making lewd wet noises. You feel his body tighten, and he cums in your mouth with a growl.

As you go to lift your head from his lap, you feel his hand keeping you in place. You make a confused noise, your mouth still full, making him smile cruelly down at you. "You didn't listen and now you're going to stay right where you are until I beat this shit." His words go straight to your crotch as you swallow around him. "And don't fucking move."

So you kneel there, keeping his dick warm in your mouth as he keeps playing. Your knees and jaw go sore but the stretch of your lips as he slowly hardens makes you whine with pleasure. He chuckles, thrusting into your mouth without warning, making you gag. You look up at him with wide eyes but his gaze is glued to the screen, acting like nothing has happened.

You don't even know how long you've been in that position before he puts the controller down, finally turning his attention to you. His hands grip the sides of your head, keeping you in place as he fucks your mouth without any care for your gagging or the spit and tears running down your face and neck. He pulls out of your mouth, one hand holding your head in place and the other jerking him off before white ropes fall onto your tear stained face.

"Think that's enough attention for you, slut?" He asks, putting his dick back into his pants and walking to the bathroom, leaving you desperate and horny on the floor, face dripping with cum and tears.

#so very disgusting and self indulgent #dico I know you're a much nicer person than this I promise #brandon dicamillo x reader #cky x reader #cky #jackass #viva la bam #brandon dicamillo

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vivaladicamillo · 9 months ago

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i feel like im going insane i js went back to all the cky movies and screenrecorded all of dicos parts………

blastazoid im coming for u next 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

#jackass #cky crew #cky x reader #cky4 #cky2k #cky3 #brandon dicamillo #cky clip #brandon dicamillo x reader

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cvmsterfire · 2 years ago

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should’ve been me 😔😒

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broidobe · 4 days ago

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𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔥

requested! i really suggest you read the imagine about dico dating a metal vocalist because this is like an add on to this!

⁎⁺˳✧༚jackass masterlist

the ache of missing him had been gnawing at you for weeks. tour life was exhilarating, sure, but the thrill of the stage paled in comparison to the warmth of brandon’s arms. your calls and texts had turned into lifelines—his jokes, his laughter, even his grumbles about missing you were the only things keeping you sane. but tonight, you were finally back.

as you stepped through the door of your shared apartment, your suitcase forgotten by the entryway, brandon’s presence filled the space like a balm. he was leaning against the kitchen counter, his phone in hand, but the second he saw you, his face lit up with a smile so genuine it made your chest tighten.

“there’s my girl,” he said, crossing the room in a few long strides to pull you into his arms. his familiar scent enveloped you—a mix of cedarwood and something uniquely him. “missed the hell outta you.”

“missed you more,” you murmured against his chest, clinging to him like he might disappear.

his hands wandered, one resting on your back while the other slipped down to cup your ass, pulling you even closer. “prove it,” he teased, his voice low and laced with that playful edge you’d been craving.

you tilted your head up to meet his gaze, a slow smirk playing on your lips. “oh, i plan to.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the bedroom was dimly lit, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting long shadows across the walls. you straddled him on the bed, your fingers tracing the lines of his tattoos as he watched you with a heated intensity that made your stomach flip. it started slow—a series of languid kisses that deepened with each passing second, his hands roaming your body like he was relearning every curve.

“god, i missed touching you,” he murmured against your lips before flipping you onto your back. his mouth found the sensitive spot on your neck that always made you gasp, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to send a jolt of heat through your body.

“brandon,” you whimpered, arching into him. your shirt and jeans were quickly discarded, leaving you bare beneath his hungry gaze. “i’ve got an idea,” you said breathlessly, your fingers tangling in his dark hair.

he raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into that mischievous grin you loved. “oh yeah? what’s that?”

reaching for the camera on the dresser—the one you’d been using to document your tour—you held it up. “let’s take some pictures.”

his eyes darkened, his grin widening. “you wanna make some memories, huh?”

you nodded, your pulse quickening as he took the camera from you. “only if you’re up for it.”

“oh, i’m up for it,” he said, already adjusting the settings. “now, show me what you got.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the first few shots were playful. you posed coyly on the bed, your body framed by the soft sheets. brandon’s encouragement came between shutter clicks, his voice low and thick with desire. “you look incredible, baby. keep going.”

as the session progressed, the atmosphere shifted. you let the straps of your bra slip down your shoulders, your hands trailing over your body as you gazed at him through half-lidded eyes. brandon’s breath hitched, the camera momentarily forgotten as he drank you in.

“fuck,” he muttered, setting the camera aside. “can’t wait anymore.”

he joined you on the bed, his hands and mouth resuming their exploration. his lips trailed down your neck to your chest, lingering at your nipples as his fingers teased the waistband of your panties. you moaned his name, your hands gripping his shoulders as he slowly slid the last barrier from your body.

“stay like that,” he rasped, reaching for the camera again. the click of the shutter sent a thrill through you as he captured the moment—your flushed skin, the way your body arched under his touch.

when he finally set the camera aside for good, his attention was all yours. he kissed his way down your body, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to unravel you completely. you came with a cry, your thighs trembling as he coaxed every last wave of pleasure from you.

before you could catch your breath, he was over you again, his cock pressing against your entrance. “ready for me?” he murmured, his lips brushing against yours.

“always,” you whispered, wrapping your legs around his waist.

he pushed into you slowly, his groan mingling with your gasp as he filled you completely. his movements were deliberate at first, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered how much he’d missed you, how good you felt. but as your nails dug into his back, urging him on, his pace quickened, the room filling with the sounds of your shared need.

“you’re so fucking beautiful,” he panted, his hands gripping your hips as he drove into you harder. “couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“brandon,” you moaned, your body tightening around him as you teetered on the edge.

“cum for me, baby,” he urged, his thumb finding your clit and sending you spiraling into bliss. your release triggered his own, his body shuddering as he spilled into you with a low groan.

afterward, you lay tangled together, the camera resting on the nightstand as evidence of your reunion. brandon pressed a kiss to your temple, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.

“that was one hell of a homecoming,” he said with a soft chuckle.

you smiled, nuzzling against him. “think we got some good shots?”

“oh, we definitely did,” he replied, his tone warm and teasing. “but i think we might need a few more, just to be sure.”

you laughed, your heart full as you pulled him closer. “i’m not going anywhere.”

#brandon dicamillo x reader #dico x reader #dico #jackass #jackass fic #cky

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 5 months ago

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Dating the Jackass Guys HC’s!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, drug use, alcohol, injury, car sex, tending to wounds, make outs, kissing, sex on a beach, public sex, unsafe driving, posessiveness, unwanted flirting

An: I wanted to write some head cannons based off of what kinds of dates the Jackass guys would take their girlfriends on (and all the ways that could go wrong)! Bam’s part was inspired by these headcannons by @1800miserablethot I love his work please go check him out!! Thank you for reading and please keep sending requests!

Steve-O

Assuming you were his asshole landlord, your boyfriend didn’t seem too happy when he threw open the door, clad only in his boxers, “What?!”

See, even though Steve planned to go out with you a week ago, he still wasn’t up by the time you got at his place, leaving you to pound on his door for what felt like an eternity to try and get his lazy ass out of bed

“Oh shit…” Shocked awake, Steve’s face fell after you, very unamused, reminded him that yes, you did have a date today. “Yeah, yeah- come on in!”

You knew that this was par for the course for him when you started dating him. What you weren’t aware of, however, was the state his apartment was in-

So much filth covered every surface that you started mentally repeating, “Don’t touch anything, don’t touch anything…” to yourself like a mantra

Despite the way your skin itched, there was something endearing about watching your boyfriend crack open a beer at noon, which he quickly drained, before pulling on a pair of jeans he had lying around.

“So, where’re we heading?” Given the fact Steve didn’t own a car, your options were kind of limited

The two of you ended up heading to the park and grabbing some hot dogs from a cart before plopping down on the grass together.

Even if he wasn’t half broke, he was never one for grand dates, and you could admire how genuine that was

Instead of wowing you with fancy dinners and sports cars, he preferred his dates to be about having a nice time with his lady.

Something not many people would know about Steve is that animals love him.

Out of nowhere, your boyfriend was practically knocked off his feet by an overexcited golden retriever who jumped on him and covered his face in slobbery kisses

It was heartwarming really, the way he laughed and smiled in that sweet, boyish way while giving the dog some good skritches!

Ah, you always knew men being good with animals was a green flag…

When it’s owner ran over and apologized for her dog getting off the leash, he told her it was totally cool

“But if it isn’t a problem, you don’t happen to have a tennis ball on you, do you?”

She did- as did the many other dog owners, who were as impressed as you were at Steve’s impromptu juggling act he put on in the park

Okay, maybe he was trying to impress you a little. But showing off you clown skills isn’t the same as driving around in some hot shit Lamborghini, okay?

As the sun started going down, and Steve walked you to your car, he asked if you’d be interested in coming up to his place, maybe smoke a little- who knows…

But thinking back to the piles of empty beer cans and the questionable stains on the carpet, you politely declined, “Uh…Maybe next time?”

You made another mental note to lay down some blankets down in your trunk before you saw him next.

Johnny

“Howdy, ma’am!” Standing at your door to pick you up for your date to the rodeo was Knoxville, who tipped his cowboy hat at you while you giggled at his little country getup,

What with the boots and those tights jeans that made his ass looks great- not to mention that obnoxious pink shirt that let you know it was your boyfriend under all that

“Are you really wearing that?”

“Well, yes i am,” Taking your hand, he drawled in an exaggerated accent as he led you to the car before opening the door for you, “and I do think we should be gettin’ a move on…”

You had no clue there were even rodeos in LA before Johnny took you there, but there you were, sitting with these great seats

And there’s nothing more your boyfriend loved than seeing that look of wonder on your face as you ogled at the real deal bull riders, not like the kinda stuff he does on Jackass. Which, speaking of…

“Excuse me, ma’am- I gotta go hit the little boy’s room.”

However, Knoxville was not squeezing past your knees to go to the little boy’s room.

Unbeknownst to you, he actually was a friend of the man who owned the stadium and had a little surprise planned for you

Not five minutes later, after they corralled the bull to set up for the next rider, guess who you see walk out into the ring? That fucking pink shirt…

“Johnny- Johnny! Don’t-“ and there he went, ploughed clean over much to the joy of the crowd and your anguish

Not assured at all by the thumbs up he gave you as he staggered to his feet, you couldn’t help but wince a little when you saw your boyfriend limp back to his seat.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” With a crooked grin, Knoxville waved a dismissive hand at you, “Yeah, I’ll be fine- just a little bruised…” Still, he didn’t dissuade your worries,

Turns out he was more than just a little bruised, as you would find out when things started getting a little hot and heavy on the drive back and Johnny had to pull over to a dark, secluded area just off the beaten path

Moving to straddle his lap, you felt him groan against your lips as you reached down to undo his belt, “mmm…ow- fuck!”

So, glancing down at the swollen, purple mess of bruise tissue on his legs, you decided to take a rain check.

Instead of ending the night getting laid in your boyfriend’s ‘69 Challenger, you spent the night at his place, holding ice to his sore thighs while he cracked jokes to make you laugh despite the situation.

If that ain’t love, then you don’t know what love is…

Ryan

When Ryan told you that over the phone that, “If you want, you could just come hang out at Castle Bam.” you thought that would mean swimming in the backyard pool and going out for dinner at Antonio’s,

But he meant it very literally, because there you were, sitting next to your boyfriend on the couch, watching TV.

I mean, you were happy to be hanging out with him, but is this his idea of a date?

“Is this all we’re going to do?” “Yeah.”

It was Dunn’s greatest power and his worst fault- he was horribly, aggressively chill

There you sat for hours, so comfortable with each other that you didn’t feel the need to make small talk, watching The Simple Life, or Nick and Jessica, or whatever dreck MTV away airing that afternoon

Later, Ry went to the kitchen to grab a few more beers, which certainly were aiding in his aforementioned chillness, when you called out to him,

“You know, I really had this image in my mind- maybe you’d take me out for food or some drinks tonight? Maybe a little courtship here?”

Plopping down next to you, Dunn passed you a bag of chips he got for you from the kitchen before handing you one of the two bottles from the side table with a faux bow, “Milady?”

Smirking, you took it from him, because you could never be mad at him for too long

But as the afternoon wore on, with the rest of the guys out filming something, your boyfriend eventually passed out drunk on the couch

“Yeah, this is how I wanna spend my Saturday…” Grumbling to yourself, you snatched the remote and absentmindedly flicked through channels for a while before you got bored

So, wriggling in next to your boyfriend’s warm, unconscious body, you laid your head against Ryan’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as you drifted off to sleep.

God, if there was a better way to wake up than to him gently playing with your hair and looking down at you with that sweet, lovesick look in his eyes, you didn’t wanna know

Mind you, he was still drunk given the fact he was only out for a couple hours,

And whenever you were within arm’s reach, Dunn got sappy drunk,

“You’re still here?”

Of course you were still there, but once he got like this, it was to your benefit to let him get it out of his system.

Tilting your chin up, Ryan planted a sweet kiss to your forehead, murmuring, “God- I am so lucky to have a girlfriend like you…”

Chris

When you broke it to Pontius that you had no clue how to surf, he dedicated a chunk of your beach date to teaching you, “It’s pretty simple- you’ll pick up on it in no time!”

Well, that’s not all he told you- he also said you looked hot in your bikini, but that’s not as important

“It’s easier if you practice this kinda stuff on land…” Your boyfriend dragged his board to lay down on the sand, waving you over, “Hop on!”

And, very close behind you, Chris stood guiding you on how to shift you weight and when to stand up with his hands on whatever part of your body made it easiest to explain to you

You’re not going to lie- you did pull the, “Is this how you do it?” card a few times more than was needed just for an excuse to feel his wide palms on your body for a little while longer.

But time came for you to actually do the thing he was teaching you, you totally wiped out!

(To nobody’s surprise)

Still, Pontius was the painfully kind guy you fell in love with, swimming out to wherever you fell and scooping you up Baywatch style before encouraging you to give it another shot

“You know,” glancing at him up and down- looking all suave and perfect with way the salt water glistened on his tan skin and curled his hair, “I think I’d rather watch you…”

What kind of guy would say no when their girl asks to watch them while they do something they’re awesome at?

With your ass in the sand, you spent hours oggling Chris from afar and cheering him on

Until the sun began sinking beyond the horizon and you decided to hit up the bar for drinks and something to eat.

Later that evening, once most of the tourists have cleared off of the beaches of LA, the two of you snuck back

“This place is beautiful at night- you gotta check it out Y/N!”

Visiting the beach to see it turned into building a bonfire, and there’s something so rugged and masculine about watching your boyfriend lug 50lb pieces of driftwood without breaking a sweat.

And with that visual in your mind, there’s only a few places the evening can go…

First with the arm around your shoulder holding you close, because it gets cold there at night, then a little kissing because hell, kissing always feels nice,

Which then proceeded to straight up beach sex. The fantasy kind of beach sex, where sand doesn’t get anywhere and there no seagulls or wayward cops patrolling the shore.

That night, still naked, you fell asleep in eachother’s arms by the smoldering remains of your fire, enjoying the warmth you shared.

Bam

“So I was thinking maybe we could ride four wheelers, chill out and play some pool, go for a drive in the Lambo, hit up the bar tonight- anything else you wanna do?”

The house was empty for one day, and your boyfriend just wanted to do the same shit he does with his dumb little buddies every other time they’re over?

Most of the time, your dates were more about him having fun than treating you to some sweet, romantic shit, but you had to admit that a part of you kind of contributed to the chaos

Once you got bored with jumping cars and doing tricks on the ATVs and headed inside, guess who came knocking on the door?

Dico, who your boyfriend totally forgot he made plans to work on the film edit with

But Bam had no qualms about shutting the door in his face,

“Yeah, yeah- I’m workin’ on it!”

Listening for him to walk away, your boyfriend turned to you with a smirk, “So, how’s that ride sound?”

The thing about living in the backwoods of Pennsylvania is that you can drive pretty much as fast and as recklessly as you want, and there’s no cops around to give you a ticket

Bam knew this and used it to his every advantage. He paid for the whole speedometer, why the hell shouldn’t he use it?

Especially when he had his girl in the car, who looked so cute when he made her nervous…

You ended up at Rex’s, and you were practically hyperventilating by the time you stumbled out of the Lambo,

“I could really use a beer right now…”

And as soon as you walked through door, there goes Mr. Friendly, paling arround with everyone in the bar and leaving you to drink alone. What a man…

But if there was something you loved about Bam, it was that he shows up when it counts,

Like when he caught that creep hitting on you out of the corner of his eye.

Never have you seen your boyfriend whip around so fast, planting his fist in the asshole’s jaw hard enough to throw him against the bar top

Wrapping a possessive arm around your waist and tugging you close, he spat at the guy, “Yeah- flirt with my girl again, fucker…”

You got back to the castle late, everything serene and dark as you laid snuggled up in Bam’s tousled sheets,

Which very quickly evolved into lazily making out, all slow and soft and romantic

(Because your boyfriend didn’t jump to screwing at every chance you got- credit to his immaturity)

And that’s how you fell asleep, with him nuzzling his face into your hair and nodding off

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