#raab himself imagine

[welcometojackass2022]

Hot and Ready, Just Like Our Pizza (Sub!Raab x Reader) [Smut] (Jackass, CKY, Viva La Bam)

Just a stupid idea I came up with after I learned about Raab’s short time as a pizza delivery boy. Apparently he’d have Bam and Dico accompany him at night while he’d knock down the mailboxes of the people who didn’t tip him. This takes place in the early 2000s, long after his job as a pizza delivery boy, so I imagine this roleplay scenario as him living out a fantasy of what he wishes would have happened while he actually had that job. I believe the 2nd and 3rd GIFS are from my favorite girl @lovelyra so thank you as always :)

Description: It’s just like one of those cheesy pornos from the 80s. You’ve ordered a pizza, but when the delivery boy, Raab, gets to your house, you discover that you only have enough cash to pay for the pizza and not enough to give him a tip. Perhaps he’ll accept another form of payment?

Warnings: Female Reader, Cursing, Smut, Sub Boy/Dom Girl Dynamics, Roleplay, Pizza Delivery Man Roleplay, You offer to pay the pizza delivery boy with something other than money and he says yes because of course he does, This whole situation is wish fulfillment on Raab’s part, Raab addresses you as ma’am the whole time

@asskickedbygirl @butttxray @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll

Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong.

Your doorbell rang three times, and you paused the movie you were watching to peer out of your living room window, slightly annoyed by the loud disturbance. Through the window, you could see that a skinny boy with long, slightly messy hair was standing on your doorstep with a look that was a mix of nervousness and impatience. He wore a wrinkled long-sleeved shirt with the name of a pizza place emblazoned across the front of it, and he was holding a box of pizza in his hands. “Oh shit, finally!” You’d been waiting for that pizza for what felt like an hour. You checked your watch and, sure enough, it had been an hour. No wonder the poor guy looked so nervous; he probably thought you were gonna yell at him for being late. Lucky for him, you weren’t the type of asshole to yell at a food service worker over something as insignificant as cold pizza. You stood up from the couch and made your way over to the front door, pulling out the $10 in cash from your pocket you’d gotten out so you wouldn’t have to fumble around for it, and then you opened the door right as the pizza boy was moving to ring the doorbell again.

He quickly straightened up, the impatience fading away to be replaced with pure nervousness as he spoke. “Uh, hello ma’am. Here’s your pizza. Sorry for the wait, I got stuck in traffic.” He handed you the box, and you smiled reassuringly. “No worries! You made it here, that’s all that matters. $10 plus tip, right?” The pizza boy shook his head. “Don’t worry about the tip, ma’am, you don’t have to give me one since I was so late.” You smiled. “I’m still gonna give you a tip, sweetie, I’m not a dick. You got the pizza here, didn’t you? That deserves a tip, as far as I’m concerned.” Your reassurances were enough to calm him down, and his nervous look quickly disappeared as a sweet little smile spread over his face. “You’re nice, ma’am. Usually people just yell at me and slam the door in my face when I’m late.” You shook your head with a frown. “People like that are just assholes, don’t let them get to you. Here, I’ve already got the $10 for the pizza right here, and then I can just grab the tip from my wallet for you—oh shit. Where is my wallet?” You handed the pizza boy the $10 bill for the pizza as you felt around your pockets for your wallet, which you were certain you’d had on you just a few minutes earlier. It wasn’t in any of your pockets, it wasn’t tucked into your waistband, and it wasn’t on the couch where you’d just been sitting. “Fuck. Where did it go? I haven’t left the living room all day, it’s gotta be here somewhere.”

Your heart sank as you realized your wallet was most likely lost; you weren’t particularly worried for yourself, since it had to be somewhere in the living room and that meant there wasn’t a whole lot of space you’d have to cover to find it, but you were worried for the pizza boy. You’d promised him a tip, after all, and expecting him to stand on your doorstep for the next thirty minutes so you could find your wallet to give him said tip seemed like a lot to ask of a stressed out delivery boy. You bit your lip, leaning against the frame of the front door as you tried to decide how to fix this messy situation. The pizza boy awkwardly shrugged his shoulders, trying to hide his disappointment as he mumbled a reassurance. “It’s fine, ma’am. Like I said, I was late. You don’t have to tip me anyway.” You shook your head, crossing your arms. “No, no way am I letting you walk away without some kind of tip. Let me think.” You racked your brain for any other sources of money that you may have had; any dollars in a drawer? Any jars full of quarters? Surely you had a least a little money laying around somewhere in the house. As you thought about it, you glanced up at the pizza boy, who was staring at your breasts; clearly, he had assumed that you wouldn’t notice where he was looking. Crossing your arms had accentuated them, and now the poor boy couldn’t seem to take his eyes off them. Interesting. Maybe I can do something with this.

You decided to test his interest a little further; you purposefully crossed your arms even more so as to push them together, leaning forward a little bit so he could just barely see down your shirt. Sure enough, the delivery boy’s eyes widened, and his eyes remained fixed on your chest, the slightest hint of a bulge appearing in his jeans. That was all the confirmation you needed to decide how you were gonna tip him. Offering to have sex with the pizza man as a tip was the type of cheesy, cliched move that was usually reserved for bad 80s porno films, but at this point you didn’t really care. You needed something to tip him with, and if that was sex, then so be it. Besides, he was pretty cute, and he seemed like a sweet guy, so it wasn’t like you were gonna have to force yourself to pretend to be attracted to him. “Maybe I could tip you in another way?” You leaned even further forward to give him a better view down your shirt, and his bulge became even bigger, his breath hitching as he tried to tear his gaze away from your breasts long enough to look up at you. “Huh? Oh, uh, sure ma’am. What other way are you thinking?” You could see the slightest glimmer of excitement in his eyes, like he wanted sex to be a possibility but didn’t want to get his hopes up too high. “Well…I was thinking maybe you could come inside for a few minutes and I could…play with you for a bit.” You smiled suggestively at him as you spoke, your eyes fixed on the sight of his cock hardening even more through his jeans as he crossed his legs in a desperate attempt to hide how aroused he was.

His eyes went even wider than they already were, and his face became a deep shade of red as he realized what you were implying. “You mean like…sexually?” You grinned. “Yes, sweetie, sexually. If you don’t want to then that’s fine, but if you’re into it then by all means let’s do it.” The delivery boy thought it over for a moment, nearly shaking from how excited he was at the offer, and then he fervently nodded. “Yes, ma’am, that sounds nice.” You smiled. “Great! Here, come on in, sweetie.” You led him inside, setting the pizza down on your kitchen table and motioning for him to sit down on the couch, which he eagerly did. “Oh, by the way, what’s your name sweetie? This might get a little awkward if I don’t know what to call you.” He grinned bashfully, leaning back against the couch and letting his black uniform shirt ride up just enough to expose a sliver of his flat belly. “Oh right, sorry. You can call me Raab.” You made your way back over to the couch and sat down beside him, close enough to make him feel comfortable but not close enough to make him feel like you were trying to rush him. He seemed a little antsy still, like he was nervous, and you leaned over to push his hair out of his face reassuringly. “Are you okay? You can back out, you know, I’m sure I’ve got actual money lying around the house in some odd spot if you’d rather take that.” Raab quickly shook his head. “No, ma’am, I really wanna do this. No one’s ever offered this before, so this is kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You’re also really hot. Sorry, was that disrespectful?”

You laughed. “No, Raab, that wasn’t disrespectful at all. You’re really hot too. Anyway, why don’t we get those tight jeans off first? The button looks like it’s gonna snap off from how hard your cock is right now, poor thing must feel so trapped.” Raab glanced down at his prominent bulge, his cheeks going slightly pink with embarrassment. “Yeah, sorry ma’am. You leaned forward earlier and I saw down your shirt, I swear I wasn’t trying to but—” You cut him off with a kiss, pulling him closer so his upper body was pressed against yours. When he pulled away, his eyes darted down to take in the full view he had down your shirt, and you led his hands up to grab at your breasts through the soft fabric of your t-shirt. “You don’t have to be sorry for looking at them, Raab, I’m glad you like them. Do you wanna see them without the shirt?” He nodded eagerly, sitting up against the couch and pushing up his long black sleeves, and you grabbed the hem of your shirt and swiftly pulled it off, tossing it aside and grabbing Raab’s hands again to let him play with your bare boobs. As his fingers wandered over your nipples, you moved your own hands down to unbutton his tight jeans, unzipping his fly and reaching into his boxers to pull his hard cock out. It was cute and pink and just the right size to fit in your hand, and you gave it a few quick, teasing pumps as you admired it. He whined softly, bucking his hips up against your touch. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.” You glanced up at him inquisitively. “What do you mean, sweetie?” You briefly removed your hand.

Raab’s face went red, and he desperately reached for your hand, trying to get you to start touching him again. “I’m about to get fucked by a pretty girl as a tip for my lame-ass pizza job. I just never thought I’d be this lucky.” You smiled, wrapping your hand around his cock again to touch him like he wanted. “I’m surprised no one’s offered this before, considering how cute you are.” His hands continued to play with your bare boobs, squishing and squeezing the soft skin and curiously rubbing over your hard nipples; after a moment or two, he leaned down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, glancing up at you for approval, and when you nodded, he gently wrapped his lips around the sensitive nub, suckling on your nipple as he stared up at you with a vulnerable look. Soft little whimpers escaped his mouth every time your hand swiped over his slick cock head, and it made you want to get into fucking him even quicker just so you could hear what sounds he’d be making when your pussy was around his cock. He quickly switched to the other nipple and sucked on it with just as much enthusiasm, his lips wet and red with saliva, and you only gave him a few seconds to linger there before you pulled him off to kiss you again, pushing your tongue into his mouth as you grabbed at the hem of his uniform shirt and tugged it upwards; you pulled away long enough to help him take his shirt off, and then he hungrily pressed his lips to yours once more, letting you explore his bare chest with one hand and jerk him off at a slow, sensual, teasing pace with the other.

Raab pushed his hips up long enough to pull his boxers and jeans all the way down his legs and onto the floor, all without breaking the kiss, and then his hands wandered down to your pants, his fingers shakily unbuttoning and unzipping them and helping you lift up so he could pull them all the way down to your ankles; you kicked them off and then broke the kiss to see his reaction. The poor boy couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of you in nothing but your panties, and his cock seemed to become impossibly harder within your grip, beads of precum leaking from his red tip as he stared at you wide-eyed and mouth agape. You giggled at his shocked look, leaning over to grab his hand and guide it down between your legs, motioning for him to rub your pussy through the thin material of your panties. As cute as it was to see him so shocked, the fact that you were both nearly naked was making you slightly impatient from how badly you wanted to fuck him right then and there. Raab gently rubbed at your clit through the panties, clearly a little nervous and not wanting to do something wrong, and you parted your thighs to give him a little more access to your pussy. He cautiously pulled your panties aside, glancing up at you once again for approval, and then he gently pushed one of his fingertips inside you, moaning softly at the feeling of your wetness wrapped around his finger. You let him explore for a moment, pushing his finger further inside you and twisting it around to rub your clit.

“Are you ready for your tip, sweetie? You ready to fuck my pussy?” Raab nodded eagerly, pulling his fingers away and moving to get on top of you, but you stopped him. “I’ve got a better position we can try.” You climbed into his lap, facing him and wrapping your hand around the base of his cock to hold it steady as you lowered yourself down until your dripping wet entrance was just barely hovering above his tip. Raab’s eyes were locked on your pussy, a look of anticipation on his face as he waited for you to take his cock. He instinctively gripped your hips, subconsciously trying to pull you all the way down onto his cock from just how impatient he was, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as you lowered yourself down onto his cock head. The second he felt your warm, wet cunt wrapped around his tip, Raab’s mouth fell open, his head falling back against the couch as his grip on your hips tightened. “Holy shit, that feels so good, ma’am, keep going.” You sank even further down on his cock, pausing to adjust to the feeling of it stretching you out, and Raab pulled your body towards him to bury his face between your boobs, soft moans leaving his mouth as he felt your pussy enveloping more and more of his thick shaft. His hands pushed down on your hips, helping you take his cock all the way to the base, and you purposefully tightened up around his shaft, grinning when his eyes nearly rolled back in his head and another soft whimper left his lips. You started to move, but he stopped you, wanting to enjoy the feeling of your pussy completely engulfing his cock from tip to base.

You patiently waited, giving him a little time to get used to the sensation, and then you held onto his shoulders as you pulled yourself all the way up off his cock, teasing the tip of his cock with the lips of your dripping wet pussy, making him whine impatiently as he waited for you to take his aching cock once again. “Shh, be patient, sweetie. You don’t wanna speed through your tip, do you?” He shook his head. “No, sorry ma’am. It just feels really good, I want your pussy back on my cock so badly.” You nodded, soothingly stroking his hair. “I know, sweetie, I know. Don’t be sorry. Come here, let me give you something to distract yourself with.” You guided his mouth back down to your nipple and he obediently suckled on it, just barely bucking his hips up out of desperation for friction, his cock bobbing around as he waited for you to finally sink back down on it. You held a firm grip on his shaft, holding it in place as you rubbed the wet folds of your pussy over his cock head once again, waiting until precum was dripping from his tip and his legs were practically shaking to finally lower yourself back onto his cock, bouncing up and down on his shaft to ride him as you grabbed onto his shoulders for support. Raab gasped against your nipple, saliva spilling from his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut and moaned loudly at the overwhelming pleasure of your slick wet cunt engulfing his sensitive cock, and he pulled away to press fervent kisses to your boobs as he jerked his hips up to push his cock deeper inside you.

“Please go faster, ma’am, I need to cum so bad—” Raab buried his face in your neck with a whine as you tightened up around his cock, his fingernails digging into your hips as he humped his hips up against you, his tip pressing against your sensitive spot as you quickened your pace like he’d begged you to do. You pulled on and off his cock, raking your fingernails down his toned back as you rode his cock at a quick, steady pace, eyes focused on Raab’s face for any signs that he was closer to his orgasm; his breathing was heavy, his face a bright red shade and his hair messy as he thrust his hips up against you, lips slightly parted and eyes still squeezed shut as he desperately groped at every part of your body he could reach. You took his cock all the way to the hilt and stopped again to rub your clit against the tip of his cock, bringing yourself just as close to cumming as he was, and then you slammed down on the full length of his shaft one more time, clenching up around him and reaching your orgasm right as he came with a shuddery gasp, throwing his head back against the couch and bucking his hips up as you milked his cock dry. His load was massive; by the time he finished, his cum had completely filled your pussy and was dripping down your thighs, a look of pure ecstasy mixed with exhaustion on his face as he laid back against the couch with a soft groan, his cock still inside you as it softened. “Fuck, ma’am, you’re a very generous tipper.” You giggled, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips as you pulled off of him and got up from the couch to grab a towel.

You cleaned the cum off your thighs and off of his cock, helpfully smoothing down Raab’s messy hair, and then you dropped it in the laundry bin and helped the awestruck delivery boy to his feet. “Here, sweetie, I’ll help you put your clothes back on.” You dutifully helped him with his pants and his uniform shirt, rubbing your fingers over his flushed cheeks to soothe them, and after a brief moment of the two of you staring at each other, you leaned over to give him another soft kiss, his hands running up your still-bare sides tenderly as he pulled away with a grin. “You’ll order another pizza soon, right?” You laughed as you walked him to the door. “Of course I will, sweetie. The one I ordered today is probably cold now that I think about it, being left on the table for so long, so maybe I’ll order another one tomorrow to make up for that.” His face lit up, and he nodded with a lovestruck look. “Sounds good, ma’am. Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll lose your wallet again.” You smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe. You better be getting back, though. Your boss is probably wondering where you are.” He nodded. “Right. I’ll tell him I got stuck in traffic. Listen…this was really nice. And you really are beautiful, ma’am. Thanks for…you know. My tip.” He rubbed his neck sheepishly as he made his way through the door, and you waved goodbye to him with a smirk. “Anytime, sweetie. Drive back safely.” You closed the front door, paused for a moment, and then opened it again. Raab was standing there with a massive grin on his face. “How did I do?” You pulled him back inside and hugged him tight, kissing him on the cheek affectionately. “You did amazing, baby, that was so unbelievably hot I’m not even sure how to explain it.”

Raab blushed, taking off the uniform shirt he’d kept from his days as an actual pizza boy and tossing it on the couch, and then he made his way over to the box of pizza on the table and opened it to grab a slice. “I’ll say. God, I wish a girl had actually tipped me like that when I really was a pizza guy, maybe I wouldn’t have knocked down so many mailboxes. The best tip I ever got was $10 and a coupon for a free Subway sandwich.” You laughed, grabbing your clothes off the floor to put them back on as you closed the front door. “Wow, really? People are such cheapskates. If it makes you feel better, I definitely would have tipped you like that if you’d shown up at my front door with a pizza.” Raab grinned. “I probably would have been obsessed with you if you did. Instead of knocking down your mailbox, I would have made Bam and Dico come with me to leave flowers on your doorstep every night, that’s how annoying I was back then.” You hugged him from behind, shaking your head. “You weren’t annoying baby, I’m sure of it. If a guy had left flowers on my doorstep like that, I would have thought it was really cute. Cuter than knocking my mailbox down, anyway. So, what should we roleplay as next? Any other miserable low-paying jobs you worked? I’ve got an idea: rich man’s lonely wife and the handsome construction worker who’s doing renovations on her mansion.” Raab raised his eyebrows and glanced over at his pizza boy uniform. “We’re gonna need more costumes.”

[jackasswhre]

can you maybe do hcs of johnny, raab, or bam with a girl who’s insecure?

i did all 3 :) hope you like it!!

Johnny Knoxville, Raab Himself and Bam Margera dating a girl who's insecure :)

johnny knoxville

i feel like he would pick up on it right away

either he saw how you look at yourself in the mirror or noticed if you go quiet when he's talking to other women

he probably wouldn't bring it up the minute he realizes

instead he starts saying "i love you" more often

calls you gorgeous 24/7

and acts uninterested when women talk to him

just to see if it helps

and if it doesn't then he's probably gonna ask you about it

you're both sitting on the couch watching tv

and he has an arm around you

he starts off with "can i ask you something you something sweetheart?"

then he starts explaining what he has noticed and how he really wants to help you because you're the most beautiful girl he knows

if you start crying he will 100% hug you

for as long as you need

if you tell him why you're insecure then he will be so happy that you trust him enough and tries to help you with anything that he can

if you're not ready to tell him yet he understands and gives you all the time you need

he just doesn't want you to forget that he loves you more than anything

raab himself

now here's the thing

poor raab is so clueless

he would not notice a thing

either he would have to walk in on you crying or have april ask him why you're sad

he would be so confused if either of those things happened

if you're crying then he immedietly pulls you into his arms and starts asking what happened

if you tell him he would be so confused

why are you insecure when you're the most amazing person he knows

and he will tell you that

if april asks him why you seem sad then he'll be confused for a minute until she starts explaining what she has noticed

he would go sit in your guys' room and think about how to ask you about it

you walk in while he's thinking and ask him if everything's alright

he stands up and first of all hugs you

then he asks you about the things that april said

again same thing with the other one he would be so confused

but with both of those scenarios i feel like he would ask what he can do to help

and he will help in any way

but honestly no matter what explanation you give him he will still not understand how his beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, smart and talented girlfriend is insecure

he still tries to help you tho

bam margera

bam i think is somewhere between the two of them

he doesn't notice right away but he also isn't completely clueless

he will probably notice some things but he wouldn't automatically assume that you're insecure

once it finally clicked for him he was so worried about you

he finds you as soon as possible and talks to you about it the minute you two are alone

he will be so sweet and patient while you tell him

holding your hands and rubbing his thumbs over the knuckles

he does everything in his power to make you feel better

he already doesn't like it when female interviewers flirt with him especially when you're right next to him

so while they're talking/flirting he's whispering in your ear

usually it's something funny about the interviewer

like how her shoes dont match with her dress

or just something funny in general

please laugh at his joke lmao

it'll make the interviewer feel awkward

once you guys are done with that he immedietly asks if you're okay and tells you that he loves you

in general he says "i love you" a lot but he has started saying double the amount

he just doesn't want you to forget

he always has an arm around you

out in public and with friends

he's just so happy that he's dating you and he wants the whole world to know

if you start getting better please tell him

he's so so so proud of you

literally kisses your entire face

all smiley for the rest of the day

a/n: if you ever need somebody to talk to im always here and i want to help in any way i can ♡♡♡

[bleach-boyz]

Chapter 1: The Chick Next Door

next

So your family moved next door to Dico when you were six years old, and although he was two years older than you, you became fast friends. This was mostly due to proximity and your parents' strong encouragement of you two spending time together (they were scared of you not making friends, which you admittedly had trouble with). Outside of that, though, you actually had a lot in common: you liked to watch the same cartoons and movies and loved to roleplay with your toys in each other's front yards. You were pretty inseparable until Dico’s first year in high school.

It wasn’t that you two made a conscious effort to stop hanging out; it was just sort of a natural side effect of getting older and going through your awkward phase. You both just became too aware of the way your friendship was perceived by others, and it made you insecure. There was no ill will, though, and you’d still stop and say hi to him and even occasionally go to a movie together if neither of you had plans. 

At some point, he started hanging around this group of boys; some of them were skaters, but if you ever saw them, they were usually just being loud and recording each other with a camera in Dico’s yard. Every time you had to interact with them, a ball of anxiety would form in your chest, mostly due to the fear of being the butt of one of their jokes but also because you were at an age where you couldn’t talk to a boy without blushing. 

Over the years, you grew to recognize all the members of Dico’s group and had your own assumptions and impressions of each of them based on the little interactions you had. The group gave off an air of immaturity, but there was never a time when they appeared to not be having fun. It made you a bit jealous that you weren’t part of a close group of friends like that. 

When Dico graduated, you assumed that that would be the last you’d see of those boys outside of school, but you found out from your parents that Dico wasn’t going to college and was going to keep living with his parents. You didn’t want to admit that you were actually glad to hear this. 

Your junior year was extremely uneventful. The boys used to provide occasional entertainment for you and the rest of the student body at school, but after Dico and a few others graduated, one of them was kicked out, and another dropped out, day to day became even more boring. You’d still see them messing around at Dico’s, but the visits became less frequent. 

At the end of that school year, Dico stopped you in your yard one day to tell you he was having a party at his house while his parents were out of town that weekend. You spent the days leading up to the party debating whether or not you should go. You stood in your kitchen an hour after the party started, staring at Dico’s house through your window. You only managed to force yourself out of the house after taking two shots of tequila from your parents liquor cabinet. 

- 

Walking out your front door, you can already hear the sound of the music blasting inside Dico's place. You worry about whether or not the sound would be enough to drive one of your more ill-tempered neighbors towards calling the police, but figure if that happens, it’s a short dash back to your place so you could probably avoid getting in trouble. 

You walk slowly over to Dico’s front door, following a group of girls whom you didn’t recognize, giving them a small, friendly smile when you accidentally make eye contact. They lead the way inside and seem to immediately bump into some people they know, leaving you alone in the entryway. 

You have an impulse to immediately turn around and leave, but then you see Dico and one of his friends rounding the corner and heading towards you. 

"Hey dude, did you just get here? You haven’t seen a tall guy with ginger hair running around here, have you?" Dico asks, stopping in front of you. 

"Uh yeah, I just got here, and no, I don’t think so.." you respond. 

"No worries, you need a drink?" Dico gestures back towards the kitchen. His friend elbows him and clears his throat. 

"I’m Raab, by the way. Geez, Dico, don’t you know how to introduce people?" The friend says, and Dico elbows him back harder. 

"Weren’t you the one who got expelled for smearing shit on someone’s locker?" You ask without thinking. Dico laughs and looks at Raab, who has a smug look on his face. 

"Your reputation proceeds you." Dico teases and then invites you both to follow him to the kitchen. 

In the kitchen, you see a few more people that you know are from that same friend group. Dico introduces you to each of them, and they all surprisingly recognize you as "the chick that lives next door." 

A couple drinks later, Dico corrals everyone to the basement, where a band has set up to play. The drummer was a tall, ginger guy who you realize must be the person Dico was looking for before. You also realize that he is in your grade, and you two have had a few classes together in the past year, but you can’t quite remember his name. 

The music is rock/metal in genre, so all the boys start moshing in the center of the room, which causes you to stay close to the back wall. At some point, a blonde guy comes up to you and wordlessly offers you another drink. After finishing it, you can say with absolute confidence that you are officially drunk. 

Following the set, a bunch of you go outside to smoke cigarettes and weed. You refuse the weed, knowing that you are already a little too far gone, but when that same blonde guy who gave you a drink earlier offers you a cigarette, you feel compelled to take it. 

"It’s Ryan, by the way." The blonde says while lighting your cigarette. You take a substantial inhale and, surprisingly, don’t cough despite never having smoked before. 

"I’ll try to remember that." You say and he raises his eyebrows at you. 

"Oh no, I just mean that like.. I’m drunk, and I’m not good with names." You backtrack, and Ryan chuckles. 

"You’re good."

The rest of the night is filled with cheerful conversation, and you end up going home feeling giddy over how well you got along with these people that you’ve been too scared to talk to for years. The entire night just put into perspective how silly you were to be intimidated by these guys.

You wonder why Dico suddenly decided to invite you to a gathering after you two had drifted apart. Part of you felt like he avoided having you around because you wouldn’t fit in or would embarrass him, though you knew that that was probably just your insecurities talking. Whatever, it was a conversation to be had with him some other day. 

Right now, you just need to go to bed.

——————

Hello! So this is the beginning of my CKY fic 🤭. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be interested but I already got a few follows which is so dope. I know this chapter is short but I just wanted to get something out there. The first few chapters are probably going to be similar to this in that I skip through some big periods of time and then drop in on events I want to show in more detail. If you have any thoughts or just wanna chat hmu! Thank you :)

[vivaladunn]

i genuinely believe nobody on earth has shit their pants more than chris raab whether that be accidentally or on purpose

[viva-la-axe]

remembering when i used ryan and johnny’s names for two kids in a story about the revolutonary war and taxes for a social studies assingment in middle school…

[sunnyie-eve]

Odds Together Masterlist

Series: Viva La Bam & Jackass

Paring: Ryan Dunn x OFC Margera!

Summary: Being related to the Bam Margera wasn't the easiest thing in the world. If Annabelle could she would pay not to be his sister. The only good but also bad thing being his sister was she was also friends with his best friend.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25

[cvmsterfire]

young bam >>>

[godsworstson]

dont know why but raab' s post for ryan's birthday just made me sob pathetically

[steve-osahottie]

Friends to lovers?

Dico x reader

Warnings- Drinking, Novak being a little shit

Disclaimer- This is my first time writing so I’m sorry if it’s bad and I would love some feedback so if I ever write again I can make it better

You’ve known the CKY boys since your were 16 (you’re now 21) and you got along with all of them but your were the closest with Dico. You love hanging out with him and he loves hanging out with you. You would never admit that you liked Dico and even though all the other guys kept telling you he liked you back you never believed them.

“We should play a game” Bam blurts out clearly drunk, everyone agrees and you all sit in a circle of the floor with a bottle in the middle.

“Alright so someone spins the bottle and whoever it lands of have to kiss” Bam explained.

“Ladies first” Novak said while raising an eyebrow at you.

You sighed “Alright” as you’re spinning the bottle you start to regret agreeing to play this game. The bottle lands on Ryan you sigh again really regretting this game as Ryan comes closer to you and closes the small space between your lips, the kiss was short. You heard a scoff come with Dico who was sitting next to you and went you turned to look at him you noticed he looked beyond pissed

“What’s wrong?” You whispered to him

“Nothing just don’t worry about it” He replied

The game stopped soon after that when everyone had enough, thankfully you didn’t have to kiss anyone else. You went to get a drink from the kitchen whilst the others sat back on the couch and when you came back you noticed Dico was gone

“Hey Raab where’s Dico?”

“I don’t know I think he went upstairs, why?”

“Oh uh no reason he was just acting weird tonight that’s all”

Raab just nodded not really paying attention. You went upstairs to check on Dico when you saw him asleep in your bed, you were confused at first but then remembered Novak puked in his bed the night before and you said he could bunk with you. It was getting late so you decided to get changed and get into bed. It was hard for you to fall asleep because all you could think of was how angry Dico looked before, you were too worried that you had done something wrong to notice that Dico had rolled over and had his arm around your waist and was nuzzling into the your neck. You were hoping by tomorrow everything would be better between you and Dico. You took in how warm he was and how pretty he looked when he was sleeping as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

“Holy shit look at them” Raab whisper shouts

“Quick someone take a pic” Bam hurriedly said

“Already got one I’ll send it to you” Ryan says trying not to burst out laughing

“They look so cute together” April says as she comes into your room to put the clean clothes on your bed

You slowly open your eyes trying to make it look like you just woke up and realised you were cuddling with Dico, you jump up acting disgusted when really all you wanted to do was kiss him. Dico stirs when you get up to go into the bathroom not saying anything to anyone.

“You guys are assholes you know that right” Dico tells them slight anger in his voice.

“No we’re not, your the one gettin’ all cozy with Y/n and your just mad you got caught” Novak slurs clearly still drunk from last night

You went into the bathroom to try an compose yourself of what just happened the last thing you wanted was for Dico to find out you liked him he was your best friend and you weren’t gonna risk ruining the friendship so you splash some cold water in your face to really wake you up and walk back to your room. When you got there Dico was in bed laying on his stomach and his face in the pillow still waking up, you hadn’t noticed he was shirtless before but damn you weren’t complaining

“Holy shit he looks sexy” you thought to yourself

“Horny already Y/n? It’s not even noon” Dico replied back slightly lifting his head so you can hear him better. Your eyes immediately went wide coz you realise you had just said that out loud.

“Shut up” you reply trying to sound normal when in reality you were as red as a tomato

You pick up a Dico’s discarded shirt from yesterday and throw it at him as you tell him to put in on and come down for breakfast. You walk down the stairs into the kitchen still in shock that you had just said to your crush that he looked sexy and he didn’t seem to care I mean was that a good thing, was it a bad thing you were to distracted to see Bam waving his hand in your face you snap out of that little daydream and ask him what he wants but he just replies with asking if your ok and you nod. Dico enters the kitchen shortly after and sits next to you, you try to act as normal as you can but that doesn’t last long as Novak comes up from behind places a hand on each of your shoulders.

“So lovebirds when’s the wedding?” He says grinning ear to ear. You laugh along with everyone else but when you look at Dico you see the pink on cheek and realise he’s blushing but since nobody else sees you decide not to bring it up and add to the embarrassment. After breakfast everyone goes into the main room to watch TV but you and Dico go up to your room to hang. After a while Bam comes up and asks if you two wanna go to the skate park with everyone else but you both turn it down as skating wasn’t really a hobby of yours or Dico’s Bam just rolls his eyes calls you both lame and everyone goes leaving you and Dico in the house alone.

“Hey Y/n can we talk” Dico asks nervously

“Of course we can what’s up” you reply sitting up from your bed and turning to face Dico. Dico just stares at you for a bit and as you were about to ask him if everything’s ok he smashed his lips into yours with a breathtaking kiss you were almost immediately kissing him back he pulls you into his lap causing to moan against his lips which makes him slip his tongue into your mouth. You both hear the sound of a camera click and break the kiss turning your heads to see who’s at the door you two freeze unable to move or comprehend what you were just doing you when you see Raab with his phone out and a shit eating grin on his face “I knew it! I fucking knew it” he half screamed as you scrambled to get off Dico’s lap and try to grab Raab phone to delete that picture. “Nope your not deleting a thing I’ve already sent it to the group chat” he said seemingly proud of himself as you snatch the phone out of his hand and see that the photo was in fact sent to the group chat. Seconds later the group chat is blowing up

(just pretend that’s you and Dico)

“I fucking called it”- Random Hero

“Rake you owe me $20”- Bammy

“Finally!”- Novak

“So proud of you two”- Mumma bear April

You and Dico look up at each other and burst out laughing as he gestures for you to come sit back on the bed and when you do his lips are back on yours and you hear Raab groan “Ew”.

[asskickedbygirl]

merry christmas everyone lord bottaro just followed my cky daily account on twitter !!! 😭😭

[stratossphere]

the basement | v.v

you’re alone in the basement for the night. or so you think.

warnings: smut, masturbation, mutual masturbation, cum eating, basically porn without plot

word count: 4.3k

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll @kissofdawn666 @brandons-wife (lmk if you want to be added!)

— —

Today had been...a day. Everyone had been drinking all day (as to be expected), you’d driven three hours up to some fancy-ass skatepark to watch and film Bam skating (during which you’d been trapped between Ville and Raab for the entire trip), and then you’d come back and showed Ville the American dream sport of drag racing.

So, because of this, everyone was passed out drunk in various parts of the Margera house by the time it hit a crisp 12 at night. However, you were still awake, and for several reasons.

You and Ville had been…playing at something…for a while now. You knew he thought you were attractive, and you could barely tear your eyes away from him every time he was anywhere near you. However, neither of you had yet to make a move, and Ville was clearly playing a game of who could fold first.

He had been fucking with you all day. Touching way more than what he needed to every time someone wasn't looking, holding your gaze at every chance he got with that stare that made you feel like he was eating you alive, and speaking the most suggestive phrases known to man at you all day had left you pent up and expecting him to get you alone at some point during the night.

But he never had. You had no idea where he had even ended up, because you were completely alone in the basement despite that being where he was staying, so you assumed he had just found a home in Bam's bed or something (which was what had happened the night before). Meaning, in turn, you were left completely alone and about as horny as a person could physically get while you tried to will yourself to go to sleep.

But, that wasn't working, and instead you were just left overheated and underworked. You considered going to find Ville, because you knew you would probably get what you wanted from him based on his behavior throughout the day, but that would've drawn attention to you from everyone else upstairs had anyone still been awake, so you decided against that idea.

And, instead, resorted to one that wasn't exactly your most admirable moment, but one that needed to happen in order for you to refrain from being up all night.

So there you were, in the middle of Bam's basement with some old western that was playing on one of the channels going for noise, with your hand down your pants under the blanket you were wrapped in. If Ville wanted to fuck around and never find out, you weren’t exactly going to sit for a few more days and wait on him.

You finally felt your overly-frenzied nerves settle when you touched your fingers to your clit, taking a deep breath to allow yourself to relax due to the fact that you were, in fact, spread out on your friend's couch in a basement that didn't exactly have any privacy from anyone that could very likely come downstairs if they didn't like sleeping on the living room floor.

You couldn't help but imagine Ville. Ever since you’d first met him, you hadn't been able to get him off your mind for more than a few seconds at a time. The intimidating darkness of his eyes, his low voice, the way he looked when he smoked...everything. You were already worked up from when he'd gotten out of the car on your side and had put his hand right between your legs to hold himself up, and thoughts of him fucking you into oblivion weren't making it much better.

You spread your legs a little wider, one knee pushed against the back of the couch and then other hanging off the side as you rubbed your clit languidly to the thought of Ville fucking balls-deep inside of you. The back of your free hand was pressed tightly against your lips just in case, and although a vibrator would've been much more effective in getting you off quickly when you were trying to be discrete, going manual wasn't taking very long either considering how long you’d been itching for a release after being at the mercy of Ville's games all day.

However, that was quickly interrupted when your eyes opened momentarily only to see Ville walking around the back of the fucking couch. You had never moved so fast in your life as you ripped your hand away and let your knees drop, watching him with wide eyes. He wasn't acting like he had even realized you were there, and after a second of him pausing to stare at the TV, you relaxed a little after remembering how drunk he'd been a couple of hours ago. So there was a very low chance that he’d even noticed what you’d been doing. Thank fucking god.

"Jesus Christ. You scared the shit out of me." You muttered as you pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, letting out a slight sigh of disappointment at having to stop so close to your climax. Timing was impeccably horrible, as always. Ville barely glanced back at you where he was still standing in front of the TV.

"Why are you down here? Everyone else is upstairs." He finally turned to face you, and you were surprised to see that drunken glaze in his eyes was almost completely gone. He continued to shock you with how easily he seemed to bounce back compared to the rest of you. It was unbelievable.

"I didn't want to sleep on a floor. Plus, I'm not tired." You supplied simply, rolling over onto your side so that you could watch him sit down on the couch next to you. And when you said next you, you meant right next to you. He sat down so close that you could've taken your head off of your pillow where you were laying on the long part of the couch and set it right on his thigh. If only he knew you’d just been rubbing one out to the thought of him. "I thought you were going to be passed out by now."

"Figured I'd come down here so that I didn't have to share a bed with Bam." He was looking right down at you, and you could feel guilt swirling in your stomach where your pants were still pushed down low on your hips from what you’d been doing only a couple minutes before. "Didn't know I'd have company."

"Well, I'm watching this until I pass out, so you're welcome to join me." Really you wanted him to join you under the blanket and do things completely unrelated to whatever garbage was playing on the TV, but despite what people said, you did have some couth.

"Turn something better on. This is garbage." Ville clearly settled in then, manspreading so far that his knee knocked against your arm as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it while gesturing at the TV. You had no other option but to use his knee as a leverage point so that you could sit up on your elbow, looking around for the remote that you’d tossed towards the end of the couch when you’d first sat down.

"What would you rather watch?" You huffed as you crawled to the end of the chaise to grab the remote, silently praying that the line of your thong wasn't visible over the waistband of your yoga pants for decency's sake. When you got no response, you glanced back, and he was still staring at you. You swallowed. "Hm?"

"Just something else. Westerns are for sad old men." He muttered, and the look in his eyes told you that your thong very well might've been showing. You could just see a bit of his tongue pulled between his teeth, and he spread his legs a little further while readjusting his hips. Jesus Christ. "You look tense."

Yeah, because you’d left yourself high and dry.

"You're taking up the whole goddamn couch." You lied in place of a valid reason, motioning to where he was spread out like he owned the goddamn place. You wouldn't have been able to lay back down where you’d been without his knee digging into your side. He then held your gaze as he moved over about a fraction of an inch, afterwards motioning to your spot.

"There. Plenty of room." He sounded pleased with himself. You could tell by the way he was talking that he was starting up whatever dumbass game he had been playing throughout the day again. And you didn't think you would be able to handle it again, because you were so horny that you were having trouble focusing on finding something else on TV.

"You pick. Since the choices are so shit." You sighed, handing him the remote as you gave up and just crawled right back over to your spot. This time you stayed sitting, because you felt out of your element lying down where Ville could look at you but you couldn't look at him, and watched as he began to flip through channels so fast you could barely comprehend what he was skipping past.

Part of you was wishing that he had never come downstairs in the first place. You were more sexually frustrated now than how you had started out, and all he was doing was making it worse while he remained focused on the TV without a single care in the world. Thankfully, the cover of your blanket gave you the opportunity to squeeze your thighs together, and you shifted uncomfortably at the same time as you cast a quick glance over at Ville seeing as his attention was focused elsewhere.

On a scale of hotness concerning the men you had had even the slightest chance with, there was no competition that even came near Ville. And, honestly, hot wasn't even really the right word to describe him, because Ville was beautiful. His features were so sharp and distinguished, and the low lighting of the basement made his eyes seem even more shocking where they were lined with two-day-old eyeliner. Mentally, you were praising Bam into the high heavens for introducing you to the most mouth-watering man you had ever laid eyes on in all your years of living.

"A Nightmare Before Christmas! This is a great fucking movie." Ville said with finality before he tossed the remote to the other end of the couch without much thought, a hint of a grin pulling onto his features as the screen settled on the animated scene of Sally making the doctor soup.

You had to force yourself to watch the movie so that you’d stop staring at Ville. You knew he was going to notice if you kept it up, and you also knew that he hadn't really seemed too interested in actually making a move on you tonight considering his attention was now completely off of you. Meaning you were just stuck suffering until he either got bored and left, or fell asleep. And you didn't know if you had a conscience lenient enough to let you stick your hand back down your pants with him unknowingly sitting less than a foot away from you.

After a little while, Ville slid his arm over the back of the couch so close to your head that if you hadn't been forcibly sitting away, it would've been touching you, and then once again...nothing happened. He didn't say a word, and he didn't even glance for a second in your direction. Just watched the movie.

A bit longer after that and you were actually getting into the movie, because Ville was right; it was a great fucking movie. And you were trying your best to distract yourself both from the almost-painful ache between your thighs and the hottest man you’d ever met sitting directly next to you. The only time you allowed yourself to glance over at him was when he grabbed an ashtray off of the couch arm that forced him to reach directly across you. Other than that, nothing.

So, when you heard just the slightest bit of sound from Ville where he had relaxed next to you, you didn't really pay attention to it. The TV was kind of loud, and he'd laughed a couple times since you’d started watching it.

That was, until you heard that same sound again. And then again, but louder. And you quickly realized that what you were hearing was absolutely not a laugh. In fact, it sounded a lot like—

You had never side-eyed someone so fast in your entire life. Yoy didn't turn your head completely in his direction for fear of what you would see, but what you did see almost made your heart drop out of your fucking body.

Ville was in fact letting out tiny, almost inaudible groans, because less than half a foot away from you, he was fully palming himself through his pants. He was so hard that you could completely see the outline of his hard cock through the material, and you choked on the breath that you had been inhaling hard.

He knew. He had to have known what you’d been doing when he'd walked into the room earlier. That thought was confirmed when you looked a little further towards him, still not enough to actually turn your head in his direction, and saw that he was staring right at you.

"...what are you doing?" But you were playing dumb anyway. Mostly because you were so startled that you could feel a shake starting to settle in your fingers, and also because the way he was looking at you felt as if he was burning a hole right through your head. The arm that had been behind you on the couch suddenly slid down onto your shoulders, and then his hand was touching your jaw and forcing you to fully look in his direction.

And watch him rub his cock over his pants with his lip drawn between his teeth.

"Exactly what you were doing when I came down here, darling." Despite the fact that he was currently doing what you couldn't do, his voice was completely, unwaveringly steady, and he looked at you with a knowing gleam in his eye as he glanced downwards where your thighs were still pressed together (more so now, with the sight in front of you) under the blankets. "Did you think I wasn't going to notice you with your legs completely spread and your hand over your mouth?"

"I was..." Yeah, you really didn't have a good answer for that. All of your acting skills were flying further and further out the window with every look you stole down at where his hand was still moving slowly. He hummed before you could try to explain yourself any further.

"Touching that pretty pussy? I know." He finished for you, leaning down and letting his lips drag hotly against your cheek as he groaned audibly this time. "I want it. Let me see."

Your breath was ragged and fast as he kissed just barely at your cheek and jaw, his tongue touching your skin just slightly as his free hand began to pull the blanket off of you. Your head was spinning so intensely and your heart was racing as you let him remove the blanket and toss it over the back of the couch, not sure where to put your hands or what to do with yourself. You were so enamored with the sight of him touching himself that not a single other thought seemed to be computing in your brain.

"What?" You managed to mumble out, finally tearing your eyes away from his hand to move back up to his eyes. He chuckled lowly, his hand stopping completely on his cock and instead reaching forward to push your drawn up knees out to spread.

"I know you didn't get to finish, so finish. I'll watch." He said it like it was the simplest thing someone could do, but you felt your entire body jolt at the idea of touching yourself while Ville Valo sat and watched you with that infamous stare. "Close your mouth. I haven't even shown you my cock."

As you slammed your half-open mouth shut, he pushed your legs open completely before he was closing the tiny amount of space between you to kiss you slowly, his tongue lapping sloppily into every kiss against yours as his hands got so close, yet so far, to where you were desperately craving him.

"I have to...have to take my pants off." You stuttered out against his mouth, unable to do so with his hands forcibly holding your legs open the way they were. He kissed you one more time, biting at your lip enough to sting, before he pulled away, leaning back into his spot on the couch next to you with an entertained look on his face.

You felt like you were about to go make a speech in front of thousands of people with how nervous you were as you shed your bottom layer, but his deep groan when you stepped out of your thong was enough to spur you on. His hand was back on his cock now, but it was barely moving, and you knew that he was waiting on you. Waiting so that he could touch himself to the sight of you touching yourself.

"Good girl. Spread nice and wide." He cooed as you laid against the back of the couch with your legs spread completely to him, your hand itching to jump between your legs and satiate the need that had been burning within you for hours upon hours. "God, you’re fucking wet."

You couldn't wait anymore. You didn't care if you looked desperate. Your fingers were back on your clit before he was even completely done with that sentence, and you let out a soft moan at finally getting the stimulation that your body had been screaming for ever since Ville had interrupted you before. Your legs spread a little further then, and you rolled your hips just slightly in tune with the feeling of your fingers.

When you found the mental capacity to look back at Ville, because you’d been so distracted by your own pleasure that you’d forgotten his clear original motive, you were met with exactly what you were hoping to see. He was pushing his jeans down enough to free his cock, and you watched intently as he did so, seeing the way precum was smeared across his tip as he wrapped his hand around himself and let out a shaky gasp.

"What's got you so riled up, eh? What do you touch yourself to?" He asked after he clearly got himself under control, his hand pumping his cock slowly in comparison to the quick circle of your own fingers on your clit. You didn't even care by this point. Humility was gone and hormones had taken over completely.

"You." You whimpered, your foot moving so that your leg was resting over his thigh as a way to satiate your unquenched thirst for his touch. The hand that wasn't still jerking his cock moved from your ankle up your calf, and once again, he used it as a way to pull your legs open wider.

"Yeah? About my cock balls-deep inside of you like you’ve been waiting for all day?" His words were tinged with a hint of condescending nature, but all you did was moan in agreement, eyes zeroed in on his hand moving languidly up and down on his cock over and over again as he watched you touch yourself. "Does that feel good, love?"

"So good. I'm gonna—I can't—" You couldn't form complete enough sentences to get the message across, which was that you weren't going to last much longer with him talking you through it like that while he continued to stroke himself, but it was pretty obvious. Your back was arched away from the couch at that point, and your fingers were circling fast enough to make your wrist ache as you chased your own high without much care over how close Ville was. You’d been waiting too long and too patiently to pace yourself any longer.

"Make yourself cum. Let me see." He pressed just as you moaned, his grip tightening on your leg where he was still holding your calf as his eyes watched your fingers move without a single break to look up to you. "Fuck, you look so fucking beautiful."

That was it for you. You let out a moan that made you pray that no one else in the house was awake as you came, your back arching completely off of the couch and your hips pushing upwards as your muscles spasmed. Your eyes were closed as you rode through your orgasm, but you could hear the wet sound of his hand picking up pace on his cock, and you quickly fought to open them. You had obviously never seen Ville cum, and on the likely case that this was the last time this ever happened between you, you wanted to engrain the image in your brain forever.

He was moaning tightly with each stroke of his hand, and you watched with your chest heaving as he began to fuck his own hand, his hips rolling harshly off the couch as he rode closer and closer to his own climax.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—" When he reached that tipping point, his moan was almost as loud as yours as his hips gave one final jerk before he was coming in slow streams all over his hand and partially on his jeans. His perfect features were screwed up in pleasure as his hand eventually slowed to half, barely-there strokes until the last bead of cum dripped from his slit and he let out the breath he'd clearly been holding.

You had sunk down to almost being on your back with your leg still thrown over his, and all you could do was watch him come back down to earth with your lip drawn between your teeth as he sucked in deep, shaky breaths.

"Shit, it's all over." He mumbled when he finally registered just how much he'd cum all over himself, his hand leaving your calf in favor of pulling his jeans out of the way where his cum was literally dripping from his fingers. You finally pulled yourself back into sitting position then, leaning over his lap and then running your tongue along the underside of his hand where it was dripping.

He then watched with his lips slightly parted as you took his wrist gently and began to suck each individual finger clean, trying to get past how long they were as you finally dragged your tongue across his palm before letting him go. If he wanted to go for shock factor, then you could, too. However, when he went to kiss you when you lifted your head again, you leaned back slightly.

"I just—" You had just licked what felt like five loads' worth of cum off of his hand, and you could taste the salty tang on your tongue, so you weren't sure he would've been a fan. You’d been shoved before for trying to kiss after cum had gone anywhere near your mouth. He just scoffed and laced his clean hand in your hair.

"I don't give a fuck." He muttered just before he was pulling you into a kiss, going softer and slower this time as he eventually let his grip in your hair go lax. He kissed you as if he was trying to eat you alive, his hand falling to grip your hip as he licked in your mouth just as he had before.

You kissed for a long time before you finally broke apart, both for air and because you had kind of made a little bit of a mess that really needed to be cleaned before Bam's couch was left with a ton of suspicious stains on it.

So, after about ten minutes of scrubbing cum stains (both out of the couch and out of Ville's pants and shirt), you could finally feel yourself getting tired where you’d been unable to fall asleep before. And Ville had stripped down to his boxer briefs, so it was apparent that he was staying.

"Ah. I missed my favorite part." He sighed in discontent as he paused to stare at the TV for a few seconds where the movie was still playing, shaking his head before he turned it off and then tossed the remote carelessly in the general direction of the TV stand.

"I'm sorry for distracting you." You said dryly as you laid back down on the chaise part of the couch, pulling the blanket off of the back and then silently wondering whether he was going to sleep next to you or perpendicular on the sitting portion of the couch.

"I'm not." He snickered, coming towards your part of the couch and then dropping unceremoniously down almost on top of you where you were trying to get comfortable and spread the blanket out. "Tired you out, didn’t I."

"Yeah. So shh." You mumbled, throwing the blanket over him and hoping that it was long enough to cover his seemingly-never-ending legs. He immediately slid right up into your side, his hand slipping down to find your leg where you weren't wearing pants so that he could rest his warm palm on your thigh.

"Stay down here when everyone else gets up and I'll fuck you in the morning." He whispered in your ear then, his lips brushing gently against the shell as he spoke. You inhaled shakily but didn't respond, feeling a bit of warmth flooding your chest despite your best attempts to control it when his free arm wrapped around you and pulled you flush back against his chest.

So far, you were 1-0 for scoring the hottest guy on the planet. And it didn't look like you were gearing up for any losses.

[welcometojackass2022]

Being Bam’s Best Friend Who Has A Crush On Jess Would Include: (Jackass)

This was an anonymous request, I believe. I’m planning to do a full fic with a concept similar to this, which is the brainchild of @butttxray, so this one will probably have similar ideas to that one. This will span from like Bam being in high school to around the filming of Viva La Bam and all that.

Warnings: Gender Neutral Reader, Cursing, The usual grossness that comes with Jackass and CKY, nothing too sexual, Jess is only a year older than you so nothing weird in terms of age gaps

@asskickedbygirl @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll

Okay so first off, I think the relationship you’d have with Jess prior to the two of you having a mutual interest in each other would depend on when you and Bam became friends. If you and Bam befriended each other in elementary or middle school, then I think your crush on him would be more along the lines of a typical “crushing on your friend’s older brother” kind of relationship. I mean, how could you not crush on your friend’s nice, cool, interesting older brother who has his own rock band? It would be the kind of thing where you’d get at least a little nervous every time you’d see him at the Margera house or at the skatepark, and you’d probably have to force yourself not to blush or stutter over your words. Nothing too unusual for a younger person crushing on a (slightly) older guy. Meanwhile, if you and Bam became friends later on, like in ninth or tenth grade, then the fact that Jess is Bam’s older brother would probably mean less to you. I can still see you finding him attractive and thinking he’s cool and nice and funny, but it wouldn’t have anything to do with him being slightly older, and you wouldn’t be quite so nervous around him. It would be less of a puppy love crush and more of a normal crush.

Regardless of when you’d meet Bam or what kind of crush you’d have on Jess, I definitely think you and Jess wouldn’t interact much up until around 1994/1995, when you and Bam would be about halfway through high school and when the friend group would really start recording a lot of the pranks and skits they do together. You’d see him occasionally while at Bam’s house or while you and Bam were out somewhere, but it would always be very short encounters. Jess is a nice guy, so talking to him would be pleasant enough, but I feel like he’d probably be a little busy with his band or just wouldn’t really know what to say to you since you’re Bam’s friend and not his own. If you asked him how he was or how his band was doing, he’d definitely answer and then ask a few questions of his own just to keep the conversation going, but it wouldn’t last long and he’d soon head off to band practice or to a music shop or wherever else he was going. By 1995, though, the CKY friend group would be hanging out a lot and filming clips of pranks and skits together pretty often, and both you and Jess would be present for these things, so you’d naturally start to get closer and interact a lot more than you did before.

If you weren’t already crushing hard on Jess before the two of you got closer, you would definitely be crushing hard on him now. The two of you would discover that you actually have a lot in common (comedic tastes, music tastes, movie tastes, interests, whatever you think you’d have in common with him) and would start talking a lot more, calling each other on the phone pretty often and having long talks anytime you’re in the same room. This is also when Jess would start to really like you. It’s not that he didn’t find you attractive before or that he didn’t like you before, but he just hadn’t really noticed how funny and interesting you were because he wasn’t really friends with you at the time and didn’t have the opportunity to talk to you a lot. Once the two of you really become close friends, he’d start to develop feelings for you too. Maybe not super strong feelings just yet, but definitely romantic feelings of some kind. You still wouldn’t be nearly as close to him as you are to Bam, but you’d at least be a lot closer than you were before filming for CKY.

Speaking of Bam, I think Bam would be the only one who wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you and Jess like each other, even after you and Jess get closer. I think Phil would have always known, even before it became mutual, and April would have started to pick up on it after Jess started calling you and hanging out with you a lot more, and even the other guys (Dico, Rake, Raab, Bottaro, the whole crew) would have begun to notice how close the two of you were becoming after a while, but Bam just never seemed to notice it. If you were nervous and blushed a lot around Jess, Bam just assume it was because you were intimidated by how cool Jess is. If you commented on how attractive and funny Jess is, Bam would just tell you to stop kissing his ass. Even once you and Jess start hanging out a lot and talking more, Bam still doesn’t seem to realize that there’s something there between the two of you. He’s just happy that his best friend and his older brother get along because it means he can hang out with both of you at the same time. The thought that Jess could have romantic feelings for you and vice versa just doesn’t occur to Bam at all.

You and Jess would really start to appreciate each other more while filming the first CKY video. Jess would be impressed by your ability to do dangerous and/or disgusting things for the video, like running into brick walls at full speed and eating live insects, and you’d be impressed by how talented Jess is at drumming and by how good his band is as a whole. Part of the reason you and Jess end up getting so close is because of how much he admires you for the things you’re willing to do for the sake of footage and for how funny you are; he’d go out of his way to talk to you more just so he could hear you crack jokes and suggest ideas for future pranks and stunts and skits. In return, you’d go out of your way to talk to him so you could ask him about his band and about his music tastes.

Once you and Jess get closer, the two of you gradually start to develop sexual tension as it becomes more obvious that you like each other as more than friends. One of you will make an impulsive comment about how hot the other is and then frantically backtrack, Jess will find himself staring at you while you’re talking and admiring how you look when you’re excited about something, you’ll find yourself laughing wildly at any and every joke Jess makes like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard, it’s almost ridiculous how many hints each of you unconsciously drop that reveal how attracted you are to each other. Again, Bam never notices any of it, but the rest of the guys certainly do, and they all undoubtedly tease you both about it pretty often. I think you and Jess would both sense it and would have slight suspicious that your feelings for each other are returned, but you’d both be too scared of being rejected to say it.

Eventually, something will happen to push your relationship with Jess from a vaguely tension-filled friendship to a full-on romantic relationship. It could be something as casual as you accidentally admitting to crushing on him while on the phone with him, or it could be something as elaborate as Dico, Raab and Rake locking you and Jess in a closet and forcing you to confess your feelings to each other because they’re sick of watching the two of you dance around the subject. Either way, finding out that your feelings for each other are mutual is a big relief for both of you, and it definitely gives Jess the push he needs to initiate a romantic relationship with you. I don’t think you’d immediately start an official relationship with him, or at least not openly. See, Bam may not realize the feelings that the two of you have for each other, but if he did, he’d be pissed, and you and Jess both know it. Bam’s a little possessive when it comes to his friends, and the idea of his older brother dating his best friend would definitely bring out his possessiveness and his childishness. So, for the first few months, you and Jess keep your relationship hidden from Bam.

Even though it’s a little stressful having to sneak around with Jess so Bam doesn’t find out, it’s also fun and at least a little thrilling. Jess sneaks you into his bedroom through the window at night and doesn’t tell Bam you’re there, the two of you call each other late at night to whisper and giggle about whatever pranks and skits you filmed that day, and he constantly sneaks kisses from you when Bam’s back is turned. There’s tons of raw camera footage of you and Jess being affectionate with each other when Bam’s not looking, usually as Raab and Dico and Rake laugh about it in the background, and while it’s a little dangerous (Bam would instantly flip his lid if he turned around and saw that), it’s also exciting as hell and makes it all the more special when you and Jess get to be alone and don’t have to hide your affection.

April and Phil would be so fucking happy that the two of you are together, and I’m not even exaggerating. Phil would be a little more calm about it, since he’s known about your feelings for Jess since day 1, but April would probably be ecstatic and the fact that you trusted her enough to tell her without being worried that she’d tell Bam makes her really happy. She thinks you’re perfect for Jess and would be really excited for the day when you and Jess can finally tell Bam and be open about your relationship, since in her mind that’ll be the day that Jess proposes (yes, she’d convinced that the two of you are gonna get married). She helps Jess sneak you in, makes up alibis and excuses for when the two of you hang out so Bam doesn’t get suspicious, and takes tons of photos and videos of the two of you being affectionate cuz she thinks it’s so cute. I can see her making the two of you a nice little scrapbook and gifting it to you after Bam finally finds out the two of you are together.

Speaking of which, we all know Bam has to find out eventually, so let’s get to how he acts when he finally does find out. First off, him finding out is 100% an accident. Up until that point, you and Jess would have been too worried about how Bam would react to even consider telling him, so him finding out would have to be because the two of you slipped up, not because you intentionally revealed it to him. He’d walk into Jess’s room without any warning while you were in there at 2am, or he’d overhear you giggling and flirting with Jess on the phone, or he’d turn around and see the two of you being affectionate behind his back, or he’d stumble upon April’s stash of cute photos of you and Jess. No matter how he finds out, his reaction would be instant: he’d throw a massive tantrum. Jumping around, yelling at both of you, angrily asking you what the fuck is going on, aggressively pointing his fingers at both of you, accusing Jess of stealing his best friend and accusing you of breaking the “friend code” (apparently Bam thinks there’s a code stating you’re not allowed to date your best friend’s brother), his totally freaking out and being in disbelief at the fact that the two of you have feelings for each other. Like I said, the thought that Jess and you could ever have non-platonic feelings for each other never occurred to him; Bam’s view of the world kind of revolves around his wants and needs, and you and Jess dating is not something he wanted or needed, so it never seemed like a possibility to him. You’re his best friend and Jess is his brother, and as far as he’s concerned, that’s all either of you should be to each other. Jess should only see you as Bam’s best friend, and you should only see Jess as Bam’s (less cool) older brother.

Once Bam finishes his little tantrum, he’d immediately leave the room in a dramatic fashion and go off to either the skatepark or his room. He’d blow off some steam and angrily rant to himself until he finally calmed down, and then he’d give you and Jess the silent treatment for however long he saw fit. It could be days, weeks, or even months. There’s no telling with Bam. After a while, though, I think it would finally dawn on him that his anger towards the two of you isn’t gonna change the fact that you and Jess are in love and aren’t breaking up anytime soon, even if it means Bam being mad at both of you for the rest of your lives. Obviously, Bam doesn’t want to lose his best friend or his brother, so eventually, he’d suck it up and accept it. He wouldn’t apologize for throwing a fit over it, but you wouldn’t expect him to do that anyway. Just the fact that he’s finally accepted it would be enough for you both.

Honestly, for as much as he initially went against it, I think Bam would eventually grow to really like you and Jess as a couple, even if he’d never admit it. You and Jess are actually really good together; you crack a lot of jokes together, you support each other through everything, and you don’t let your relationship have a negative effect on your friendships with the other guys. Sure, it’s not ideal that his best friend is dating his older brother, but it’s not as bad as he thought it would be, and it makes things more exciting. Your presence adds a lot to Jess’s endeavors (CKY’s music videos and tours), and Jess’s presence adds a lot to you and Bam’s endeavors (the CKY videos, Haggard, Jackass, and Viva La Bam). You and Jess are a fun couple, as much as Bam hates to admit it, and if anything, you’ve probably got an even stronger relationship with Bam now that he knows about you and Jess. In fact, you being with Jess probably ends up giving you a stronger relationship with all of the Margera’s as a whole.

Bonus: I think Jess would propose to you after like two or three years together, and I think he’d do it on stage during a concert. You’d be off to the side or watching from the front row, and then suddenly the spotlights would be on you and Jess would be getting up from his drums to get down on one knee and show you the ring he’s holding in his hand while his bandmates play something sweet like your favorite song or whatever song you and Jess like to dance to together. April would be sobbing in the front row, Phil would be grinning from ear to ear, and Bam would be the one holding the spotlight—later, you’d find out that he actually thought up the idea himself. Guess he came around after all!

[glassprism]

Could I ask what you meant with Hugh panaro not being happy with sierra boggess casting?

It's funny, I got three different questions on this, I guess people really want 2013-era tea or something...

Anyway, if you don't know, Sierra Boggess was brought into the Broadway production for her first run solely for its 25th anniversary. We know this because she was literally only cast for six weeks (a typical contract is six months; even in her second run she was there for longer), the six weeks that happily coincide with the anniversary, and by casting her they basically bumped Samantha Hill (the principal at the time) down to alternate, and Marni Raab (the current alternate) was... I think she might have left the show temporarily? At best, put into an ensemble track.

So as you can imagine, there were some in the cast who were pretty unhappy about this; heck, I honestly think it's disrespectful to Sierra Boggess, as it feels like the show was basically saying, "Yeah, we're going to have you play Christine on Broadway, but only for six weeks, because your only importance is that you were in the RAH concert." What I heard (emphasis that this was hearsay only) was that one of those who was unhappy was Hugh Panaro himself, and that it came out during his performance, with his Phantom being a bit grouchier around her Christine compared to how he was with others (e.g. Trista Moldovan, Samantha Hill, Marni Raab). Nothing abusive or whatever, just him seeming angrier in his performance with Boggess's Christine (which I saw on the one video bootleg of them) than with any other actress he's performed with.

And there you have it.

[vivaladicamillo]

hi, can you write a dico x fem!reader who is just like him. they are best friends but also a couple. they are always laughing & joking around, doing skits, having rap/roast battles, doing stunts, etc together. the others constantly teasing them about how they are same person and outsides would never be able to tell they are a couple.

that’s so fucking cheesy I’m so sorry AHHHH 😟

BRANDON DICAMILLO X FEM!READER

THANK U SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THIS IM A LITERAL SUCKER FOR DICO AHHHH and trust me nothing is ever too cheesy when it comes to me, i fucking loves cheese little romantic things like this, especially for someone who acts just like him. this is fueling my crush for him more and more 🤭🤭🤭🤭

WARNINGS: none

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u always had a little crush on dico

come on the guys funny and cute whats more there to love??

when u guys finally got together though its like u guys were just best friends

i mean u two were together CONSTANTLY

the guys started to get suspicious

“dico are u banging her or are u too just friends?” -bam

everyone genuinely couldnt tell if you were dating or not, hell ur the spitting image of eachother personality wise

when u too finally tell the guys the teasing begins

constant “oohs” and “aaahs” when u two would show anytype of affection towards eachother

the guys finally having something to tease brandon abt was a huge win for them

it was all fun and jokes

at first

then it started to be annoying so you and dico get together and start scheming

then it hits you two

to get back at the guys u decide to give them all their own little “hell days”

for bam u definitely wash all of his skateboards with soap and water on the grip side, hide some of his him cds, maybe even take the lambo out for a spin (for hours without telling him) u guys also fuck up his favorite shirts just for the hell of it

with ryan he really never picked on u guys a lot but just to make it equal u guys just do little psychological pranks on him, yk the whoopie cushion, fake shock gum, corny shit like that

with raab, dico and u probably just smack him in the face throughout the whole day, maybe take key key with u for a joy ride just to scare him a bit or burn his favorite beanie

oh god rake gets it the worst

being dicos best friend and all he made fun of yall CONSTANTLY ( prob to get back at dico for always bullying him)

dicos gonna get ruthless

woo de wolf impression all day, gay jokes upon gay jokes, probably tries to cut his hair and to top the day off, a gallon of yellow mustard on rakes head (DICO U BETTER RUN BITCH)

dico really wants to do rakes hell day by himself bc he loves fucking with him

you guys will get the nickname “diablos” (the devils twins) after all this

he probably is gonna get murdered for doing all this but hey nobody can stay mad at dico

hes too cute fr

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BONUS HEADCANONS BC I DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO PUT THESE!

will put u in his homemade video projects

imagine cudding with him while u too just crack jokes and hold eachother

WATCHING OLD TIMEY WESTERN MOVIES WITH HIM

“hey babe ive been working on this impression and i need your opinion on it”

you will try and kick his ass at mortal combat, and ultimately fail “they dont call me the record holder for nothing babe”

BUY HIM ACTION FIGURES HE WILL LOVE U FOREVER

does like to take u out on sappy romantic dates sometimes but also just likes to hang out with u, just ur presence alone calms him

his his nose and watch his fave turn red ‼️

ROAST BATTLES TO THE MAX, put on a beat and you two will go at it for hours, constant back and forth of you guys dissing eachother then having it turn oddly sexual then having it turn into roasting rake then back to the beginning again

putting on masters of the universe and cuddling to sleep 😩

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HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! i have no clue if u wanted a actual fic or not but im shit at writing so this is the best i got, and im not turning down this idea bc it makes me giggle and get all giddy tbh 🤭🤭🤭

[rhetter]

Another day of imagining Raab Himself in Minghags: The Movie. No one knows how awesome that would have been

[omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts]

Am I almost done with a new fic? Yeah, I am!

Is it full of angst? Hell yeah!

Do we get Bam being a cute Dad? Absolutely. ❤️

Am I second guessing posting it? Hell yeah.

Ah well. Carpe Diem, right?

Ex!Chris Raab x Fem Reader x Bam Margera

(I'm not going to lie to you, Chris is a dick in this.)