#ryan dunn fanfic

[sunnyie-eve]

Odds Together Masterlist

Series: Viva La Bam & Jackass

Paring: Ryan Dunn x OFC Margera!

Summary: Being related to the Bam Margera wasn't the easiest thing in the world. If Annabelle could she would pay not to be his sister. The only good but also bad thing being his sister was she was also friends with his best friend.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25

[glamerousgirl4]

Should I post start posting on here like edits and stuff?

[that-one-fangirl69]

you ever read a fic so good you just gotta sit there and contemplate your entire existence and everything you’ve ever read before?

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[lexaknoxville]

ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ - Johnny Knoxville

“𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.” - 𝐍𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭

pairing(s) | Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader

summary | just headcanons on meeting/getting asked out by Knoxville

warnings | cussing, maybe suggestive content? I think that’s about it!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! MASTERLIST!

• I think it was definitely one of those “She fell first, he fell harder” situations

• I want to say you guys met through a mutual friend or maybe you worked on the Jackass Crew

• for now I’m gonna say you worked on the crew

• Naturally you knew who he was, and naturally you were attracted to him (who wouldn’t be)

• It took a chance meeting for him to really notice you tho

• let’s say you got dragged into a stunt, or you were helping him after he got hurt. It was most likely something like that

• after that initial meeting Pj was just like “yep, she’s the one.” and made it his personal mission to get you to himself

• It took the rest of the cast noticing his little crush and bugging him about it for him to actually act on it though

“she’s totally hot man, if you don’t ask her out I will” - steve-o probably

“I can see your boner from here Knoxville” - bam probably

“Little lover boy has a crushhh. Want me to talk to her for you?” - Dunn maybe

• all of the dickhead behavior from his friends finally convinced him to ask you. Now I see this going one of two ways.

1. Him always finding an excuse to come to your office/work station so he can bug you, then eventually work up the courage

2. the cast/crew are at a bar after shooting one day and he’s a little buzzed. He finally grows a pair and comes up to you.

• either way! You’re like “Oh! yes!”

THEN YOU LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

kidding.

• yall went on a cute little date somewhere and he was pleasantly surprising!

• he dropped the whole jackass persona and the sweet southern boy came out

• he was laying the nicknames on thickkkk. His shit definitely had you squirming.

• Baby, Babydoll, Sweetheart, Dollface, Pretty Girl. Those are definitely his favorites! (they’re your favorites too…)

• walked you to your front door after the date, AND snuck a little kiss in. He was kinda flustered so after the kiss he was like “I had fun doll, see you at work!” and scurried off to his car LMAO

•. You were FREAKING OUTTT. like “holy fuck holy fuck he kissed me” but quickly collected yourself and shouted bye back to him

• definitely the kind of asshole to do the whole jump and shout after you got inside. Do yall know what I’m talking about 😭 like the whole “woo hoo!” and celebration dance cause the date went well LMAOOO

• ofc you’re watching from your window, it wasn’t embarrassing though because it’s him, it was more endearing than anything.

OKOK THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW IM SORRY! SEND REQUESTS 😚

[jackassbrainrot]

x reader masterlist

fluff

drive [dunn x gn!reader] that needle won't hurt you [dunn x gn!reader] pure morning [pontius x gn!reader] kiss it better part 1 [bam x m!reader] uncool as me [ehren x gn!reader] the drug you can't deny [jimmy pop x gn!reader]

smut

hating (and rearranging) your guts [bam x f!reader] there's something on your face [steveo x f!reader] nasty new compulsion [dunn x f!reader] like they do on the discovery channel [pontius x f!reader] head in the game [dico x gn!reader] one last time [dunn x f!reader] kiss it better part 2 [bam x m!reader] always right [dico x f!reader] treat me like there's no hell [bam x gn!reader] spread out [steve o x f!reader] princess treatment [dunn x f!reader] all yours [knoxville x f!reader]

angst

one last time [dunn x f!reader] bite like a dog [dunn x f!reader]

[dunnswrld]

“dont make a mess sweetheart i gotta stunt in ten minutes.”

is what johnny said to you as he lifted his head from the sweet spot between your thighs, a cocky grin plastered on the fake cowboys face as your juices and his spit dripped down his chin.

“f-fuck off.”

you said breathlessly, johnny only letting out a soft chuckle before he spoke.

“aw dont be so mean.”

is all he said before he connected his lips with your sensitive cilt again. a moan leaving your lips as his mouth returned to the spot you needed him the most.

your fingers were tangled in johnnys brown hair as he ate you like his last meal, the sound of his soft groans could not only be heard but felt against your core; shivers going up your spin as your eyes crossed from the amount of overwhelming pleasure.

everytime johnny was between your thighs it was better then the last if thats even possible. you swear there was no man that enjoyed eating pussy more then your boyfriend did.

johnnys brown eyes looked up at you from between your thighs. his erection only ached more as he saw your reaction to him between your thighs, you looked completely overstimulated with pleasure and he loved it.

this only motivated johnny to push himself deeper between your thighs, his tongue lapping circles around your cilt as lewd slurping noises came from his actions. a high pitched moan leaving your lips as your grip on johnnys hair tightened.

“j-johnny i-im gonna-”

you felt johnnys grip on your hips tighten as he became almost determined to make you cum, and make you cum hard.

you could swear you saw stars as you let out a strain of moans as your hands tried to grab anything they could, a intense wave of pleasure shooting through your body as johnny didnt even care to slow down. he wanted you to be completely worn out from his tongue.

it wasnt until your chest began to rise and fall heavily did johnny stop, slowly kissing his way from between your legs to your cheek. he then gave you a sweet and passionate kiss, he slightly laughed feeling how lazily you kissed back. you were beat.

when johnny pulled away from the kiss you saw his mouth and face that was covered with your cum and his spit. your face couldnt help but turn red at seeing the aftermath of your boyfriend eating you out.

“i said dont make a mess sweetheart.”

johnny softly teased with a shit-eating smirk on his face, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth off.

(coming back from the dead to write the smallest piece of whatever this is cause i had the urge to write maybe if it does good ill write again idk😟)

[berzahoes]

headcanons: female jackass member

an: just some headcanons that i’ve been thinking about lately lol

I love johnny’s shirts but you would have an even better wardrobe

basically this:

you’re not afraid to kick all of the guys’ dick when they’re being assholes or just annoying

you love hanging out with johnny’s daughter if she’s on set (she’s not on set often but when she is you’re literally best friends)

you’ve probably broken an arm and a leg at the same time

you know practically everyone had beef with each other in the early 2000s?? NOT YOU or if you do want to have the whole hollywood experience then you do you <3

you definitely made some appearances on viva la bam

chris + you = besties THAT IS ALL I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH CHRIS

you cannot go a full five minutes without cursing (me, it’s literally my vocabulary)

you know how when dave england gets drunk he’s like the worst?? you’re not that bad but when drunk dave is doing stupid shit drunk you is hyping him up

you’re always gaslighting the guys

you would shoot someone with the paintball gun (probably johnny or bam) and they would be on the ground in pain and jeff would just ask “what happened?”

you, casually with a paintball gun in your hand, shrug

“SHE SHOT ME”

“that never happened”

ok but i also love that the only female jackass member would have an obsession with dyeing her hair idk why

nvm i do bc imagine being on edge at work all day bc you think the guys are going to prank you

stress = hair dye i don’t make the rules

SPLIT HAIR OR IDK THE PROPER TERM BUT YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN

omg narcissa malfoy hair yeah <3

ok that’s all i got nothing else 😭😭

[johnnyknoxvilleswife]

Why can’t it be 2004? Why can’t I hangout (make out) with all my baby girls (middle-aged men , who make poor decisions, covered in blood)?

[1800miserablethot]

More head cannons of mine that nobody asked for

Nicknames for the Jackass Crew

Bam Margera

He's a damn sub so we can just guess the nicknames he likes

Pretty Boy, Baby Boy, Baby, Good Boy, Sweetheart, darling, Bambi (though he won't admit to liking it), Bam Bam, etc

Now he would be into degradation so nicknames like bitch, slut, whore, etc would get him going too only if you said it in a way that claimed him as it. Like “You're my little ___”

Ryan Dunn

He gives major golden retriever vibes, and also switch vibes.

He would like the regular ones, yk baby, babe, honey, etc

I feel like he would secretly melt if you called him a good boy.

Johnny Knoxville

He's a top 100%

But the nicknames he likes are Baby, Babe, and simple stuff because usually, it's him calling you nicknames like darling, sweetheart, babydoll, etc.

I’ll bet everything that he likes being called daddy

Steveo

He's basic, I really can't see him kinky.

He likes being called babe, baby, and that's probably about it lol I feel like he's not into the mushy stuff and not because he's a jerk or “I'm too cool for it” its just not y’alls thing.

Chris Pontius

He's a sweetheart so he's your sweetheart, he likes being called baby, sweetheart, or honey (and due to him being a party boy you tease him and call him honey bunny and he lives for it), you also joke and call him your little devil because of him dressing up as the devil and pissing off Christians.

I don't see him having a top bone in his body at all, but he isn't a sub sub like Bam is, he's right in the middle but not a switch yk? So he's gonna like nicknames like pretty boy, good boy, etc simple stuff.

[w1nkie]

RYAN GOSLING MOVIE RADAR!

Hello, honey buns! I have searched high and far to bring you EVERY RYAN GOSLING MOVIE at the moment that is FREE TO STREAM!

YOUTUBE :

Song To Song (2017)

Half Nelson (2006)

Lars And The Real Girl (2007)

The Big Short (2015)

Stay (2005)

NETFLIX :

All Good Things (2010)

The Gray Man (2022)

La La Land (2016)

HOOPLA :

Fracture (2007)

The Slaughter Rule (2003)

ROKU :

The Believer (2002)

Only God Forgives (2013)

DISNEY+ :

Remember The Titans

————————————————————————————————————————

Now, streaming services often let go and add new movies to there platforms so this can be updated if you guys would like me to! (Btw Lalaland was just added to Netflix today + Blade Runner was just taken OFF of Disney+ a week ago T_T)

[sunnyie-eve]

Uttermost Lifestyle Masterlist

Series: Jackass

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Summary: Some people didn't like the idea of a girl being apart of Jackass and if they wanted her, they wanted her to at least show some nudity like the guys to be entertained. Unlike most of the public, the cast loved and treated her like family despise what people thought of her. They let her do whatever she was comfortable doing and never forced her to do anything she didn't wanna do.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29

[bayblonde]

Two Punks in Love - Chapter 3

Ch.3 What Are you?

You looked up at him as if thirsty for water after going years without it, and the scabs on his knuckles prickled along your face. His other thumb pressed into the center of your bottom lip, his fingerprint a cherry wine red. 

“I’m a dead man walking,” he answered your question, leaning down so his lips were inches from yours. His breath smelled like rum and coke, his hair like the shampoo April used to keep in the guest bathroom.

If there are typos...no there are not (ignore them pls lol)

NSFW, gets pretty smutty there at some point. 18+

Mentions drinking, drugs

     The shot glasses barely had a second to clatter back onto the kitchen counter before your roommate was filling them back up. Vodka burned at your throat. The room temperature liquor trickled down inside of you like the rain in the gutter by your bedroom window. You squeezed your eyes shut and bit into the old lemon slice that Cassie had hastily cut when you said you’d take a couple shots but only if there was a chaser. You lose your stomach much easier these days. You could almost laugh to yourself now…thinking about how you used to be able to shoot Jack Daniels straight with Ryan in the parking lot of the bowling alley he worked at for a summer. He was so angry when they fired him on his second week, even though he reeked of alcohol and pot. Bam would always act impressed at your poker face after a shot. 

But Bam wasn’t here, and you did not laugh.

You simply grabbed your forehead and held up your palm to Cassie. She was already bouncing up and down dramatically and pouting.

“Nooo y/n! You can NOT be lame tonight. We are GOING to this party. I already told you-”

“I know, I know Cass…” You interrupted, reaching for the third shot in five minutes and recited the line that Cassie would not let you forget all night:

“Dico will be there! Dico will be there!” You did not have to pitch your voice up but in order to tease your best friend, you felt it was appropriate for the imitation.

Cassie was just happy you were accepting your fate and the next day’s hangover in order to please her.

The third shot turned into the fifth in a matter of minutes, and you both were shoving your feet into chunky black boots. The knee high knit socks made up for the mini skirt, or at least you hoped. It was an unseasonably cold night for Halloween in California. You couldn’t be too worried about the weather, really, when you knew you’d be crammed into Ryan’s tiny house with at least 60 sweaty, drunk, skater-degenerates soon. You suppose you had to add yourself to that guest list as well. 

     The satisfying crunch of your heels on the gravel behind Ryan’s pseudo-frat house rang like a rusted bell through the dark of night. A speaker playing music in the distance already sounded on the verge of blowing out. You rolled your eyes. Ryan always had a knack for pissing off his neighbors, no matter the street name. 

“What are you supposed to be, anyways?” Cassie asked, the liquor sliding its way down her voice. The nylon of her skin-tight nurse costume squealed with every step forward. 

You looked down at your half-baked and mismatched costume. An old black t-shirt that you cut with dull scissors and a red plaid skirt you stole from Hot Topic in high school. The socks and boots were to avoid freezing during the inevitable cigarette breaks out on the back porch. Bam always made fun of you for being such a “Cali priss” since he would spend holiday break with family back in Westchester. 

“Now that's what real cold feels like, sweetheart,” he’d say, his lilted voice pushing every button inside of you, even now. 

“I’m…a sexy school girl…duh…” 

Cassie just laughed and pushed your shoulder.

“Shut up…you had no other costume,” she pulled out two shooters from her cleavage and shoved one into your hand. Your heels got caught in the crack in the sidewalk filled with wet green grass, sending you in an awkward, twisting fall to your knees. The plastic of the vodka bottle cried out as if to mock you, and you both laughed out loud, hard. 

“God dammit, Cass! I am here busting my ass for you! Literally!” The nerves of seeing old friends and the vodka and your best friend all made you laugh harder than you ever would have alone. You always needed a hand to hold. Some hands were more hollow than others.

Face to face, illuminated by the orange and purple lights flashing out of Ryan’s windows, you take your sixth shot with Cassie in unison…and go in.

Ryan was leaning against the kitchen island, nursing a Bud Light and laughing about something with Brandon Dicamillo. The backwards hat and stained flannel reminded you of countless nights in Bam’s parent’s garage, the group of you dying of laughter to one of Dico’s many stories, fried out of your brains. The air smells like those nights, thick with tobacco and weed. Someone is screaming in the living room, followed by the sound of cups crashing onto the ground and raucous, boyish laughter. Cassie drags you into the kitchen and raises her arm as she announces your arrival.

“Hiiii boys!” Cassie sings out with confident glee. Brandon and Ryan look over towards the door frame in which you both stand with stupid, tipsy smiles and tattered purses. 

Dico’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights when he saw Cassie, and his story no longer seemed so important as he pushed himself away from the counter. 

“Cassie, baby. Come, come! We just must catch up.” His voice was as wickedly tilted as his smile, palm out to take hers.

Cassie giggled and took his hand. And just like that, they were lost to the dimly lit hallway scattered with fake spider webs and splatters of “blood.” A hanging skeleton smiled at you from the door frame they left behind, swinging from being knocked into by body after body. When you turned back, Ryan was staring at you.

Maybe it was the shots, but catching him by surprise gave you a cocky smile and a feeling of pride. Not prideful enough to fight your shyness. It had been years since you were in front of Ryan Dunn. The softness in his big eyes did get your apprehensive feet to step over towards him, however. The eye-patch and poorly taped parrot on his shoulder also helped lighten the awkward situation. 

“Dude.” It was all he said, and his voice did not sound as soft as his eyes appeared. It was blunt and a little bit anxious. You squinted and pulled out the bottle that Cassie had stuffed into her purse that you now held as she hooked up with Dico in his trashed bedroom. 

“Well it sure is nice to see you after all this time too, Ryan.” You appreciated how brave the plastic bottle of vodka made you, as well as the way it helped you drip with sarcasm.

This really should have prompted a witty but loving comeback from Ryan, but he just seemed too distracted by something behind you. Your heart could dig itself a deep grave in your belly, right then and there. 

“You…have got…to be kidding me.” You were frozen still there on that sticky linoleum floor. The bottle hung by your exposed thigh. 

His eyes focussed from behind you back in on your own, and he shook his head and couldn’t hold the laugh of disbelief any longer.

“Fuck no, y/n. How was I supposed to know you’d show up to this one party after ignoring the last 700 invitations?”

     You damn near whimpered as you realized what you were going to have to do. You had to turn around at some point, even just to leave, and see him.

So you did what you knew could help numb this wound you were about to pick open. Ryan laughed and finished his beer while you took a swig of vodka from the bottle, palm hot and wrapped around the neck. As you wiped your stained-red lips, he yanked the bottle from your fist and smiled at you.

“It’s funny…this is the first time he’s shown up to one of my parties in years too…”

He took a shot from the bottle and turned to leave and flirt with the girl out in the backyard. 

     And because you told yourself you would, you swung one leg over the other and spun around. The metal of Cassie’s purse clipped the metal of your belly button piercing, and you pressed your lips together. Because you told yourself you would…you looked towards the back of the red-lit living room. Witches, aliens, cowboys and sexy police officers all danced and pushed against one another. The music vibrated the shitty drywall and the carpet had a crunchy texture beneath each foot step closer and closer to him.

Bam wasn’t much for costumes, either. 

It was the first time in five years that you’d seen your ex-boyfriend and here he was. Twenty-three, taller, broader, hair shorter…and fake blood dripping from one corner of his mouth. Or at least you’d guessed it was fake on account of the holiday. You never really knew with Bam.

     There he stood, head hung low and eyes watching you as if you were slowly being fed into his veins. You felt the same way, and kept stumbling closer and closer…

Like when the little pills would start to kick in, your proximity to Bam made you feel like being bathed in a saccharine sunshine. As euphoric as it was intoxicating.  

The drums of the song blasting crashed together just as you reached him. It was as if you were both inside a wet, hot bubble of laughter, sweat, and alcohol, all sounds beginning to sound muffled. They were pushed through the bubble’s thick, saliva-coated membrane. Both of your focuses were locked on the other’s body. His chest rose and fell slowly and he looked down at you with a silly, sad, drunk look. 

You were finally close enough for him to touch, and he knew your body so well. At least he had before it all went to shit. 

Bam licked his lips and spoke,

“Hey…”

You did not know what you wanted, needed, or expected him to say, but it was not hey. He really could have said anything though, you’d be just as likely to stick to him like velcro. You looked up at him, your chest slowly closing the gap and pressing into his.

“What are you?” you asked. You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Bam smiled, his canines pressing into his bottom lip, those adorable smile lines framing his mouth just as before. Your chest unfurled and you could have sprouted wings then and there. He lifted his hand to gently grab the pieces of hair that had fallen around your face. You felt his skin burn deliciously against your cheek bone, your own complexion on fire. 

     You were watching him with stars in your heavy lidded eyes, and felt his other hand rest on your hip. The rough pad of his thumb pressed just above the buckle of your studded belt hanging along the top of your mini skirt. Just like riding a bike, his hands could recall how they touched and handled your body the more he allowed them to.

You looked up at him as if thirsty for water after going years without it, and the scabs along his knuckles prickled along your face. His other thumb pressed into the center of your bottom lip, his fingerprint a cherry wine red. 

“I’m a dead man walking,” he answered your question, leaning down so his lips were inches from yours. His breath smelled like rum and coke, his hair like the shampoo April used to keep in the guest bathroom. 

“Oh really?” as you spoke, Bam’s fingertip edged a bit deeper into your mouth, just ever so subtly. He nodded slowly down at you, your bodies starting to sway to the music that raged on around you. Maybe you noticed how he was leading you into the hallway, his pace so gradual.

“You look pretty damn alive to me,” you teased, biting down on his fingertip. He winced slightly and smiled wider, dark eyes lighting up with excitement. 

“Consider me brought back to life, then, baby.” 

And before you could remember why you said goodbye or how you’d feel about this tomorrow…your lips were on top of his. He’d led you both into the hallway towards the back of the house, where nobody was passed out drunk yet. Just your shoes were cast in a muddy golden glow of Ryan’s back door light, creeping in through dirty glass on the door.   

     His hands grabbed your hips hungrily and yanked your bottom half flush into his, leaning back against the wall to support your bodies. You bit his lip and ran your palms flat along his chest, coaxing a moan from his throat and straight down into yours. You drank each other in selfishly, his hands became greedy.

     “Fuck,” you whimpered into Bam’s mouth as one hand snaked under your shirt and cupped your breast. He pushed your bra up and over your tits. His left hand rubbed up your thigh and underneath the pleats of your skirt. He squeezed your ass hard and you lost your hands in his hair, pressing his back into the wall firmly. 

     “I miss you,” Bam whispered between heavy, breathless kisses. The sugar on both your tongues mixes in your mouths. 

     “I need you,” you replied, hands unbuckling his belt. You turned and dragged him through the door behind you, hand wrapped around the waistband of his jeans. He laughed and bit his lipstick-stained lip. 

     “Always yours.”

     And as his foot slammed the door shut behind you both, bodies crashing into the wood and getting lost in the shadowed darkness, you fell onto your knees and pulled his pants down with you.

     “Holy shit,” Bam threw his head back and lost his breath over his excitement as you took him into your mouth. The numbness in your throat helped you accommodate his length, spit stringing down your chin and absolutely drenching him. Bam could never leave you down there long, however, not without his turn for fun.

He lifted you up and sat you hastily on the desk next to the door. Your back nearly knocked over an old lamp, head knocking into the shade. 

“Sorry, pretty girl,” Bam apologized, voice thick with lust. He made it up to you down on his knees now, curls tickling your inner thighs. Pulling your panties to the side and glancing up at you one more time, his eyes asked for permission to taste you after all this time. You nodded quickly and grabbed his curls, legs spreading obediently and eagerly for him. 

     “What a good girl,” Bam smiled coyly up at you, then lowered his head. His tongue pressed torturously down onto your bundle of nerves, hands gripping the back of your legs. You moaned his name like a prayer and this only made him work harder. 

“Love to hear you say my name, pretty girl.” He lifted two digits to his mouth to suck and plunged them slowly inside of you. He cursed at how wet and warm you felt around his fingers, knuckles deep, then got back to lapping you up. You threw your head back, hair swinging down onto the dusty lamp shade, hard wires pressing into the back of your skull. Bam took you and guided your body back and forth, rocking to the rhythm of your building orgasm. 

“Can I feel you tonight, baby girl?” Bam asked politely, paired with the squelching sounds of his tongue running circles in and out of you. 

“Please,” you begged, voice cracking, hands clasping the edge of the desk. A white hot heat was rising up your stomach, as white as your knuckles. Bam stood and lined himself up, leaning in to whisper in your ear.

“I wanna hear you say my name, baby.”

“Please, Bam. Please fuck me Bam.” 

“Thank you, good girl.” And he pushed inside of you at an achingly patient pace. Both of your jaws dropped, noses touching. Bam’s hands grabbed your hips as he worked his way in and out, deeper and harder with every thrust. You felt your legs start to quiver and reached up to hold onto his broad shoulders for support as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna-”

“I know, baby. I’ve got you.” His words sent you careening to your climax, golden stars lining your vision as you shouted his name alongside God’s. 

Bam pulled out shortly after and came all over his hand and your thighs. Your forehead rested on his shoulder, he kissed your sweaty hair. 

You both took a moment to exhale, listening to each other’s breathing. Just as he buckled his pants and you set yourself back onto unsteady, sexed out legs, the door opened just a crack. Red light and music slithered just past the door frame, and Ryan’s face squeezed into the crack. His eye patch was askew and his parrot was nowhere to be seen. A couple fresh lipstick kisses lined the collar of his shirt and center of his neck. He had a dumb, proud smile. You cursed, taken by surprise, and Bam looked at him over his shoulder and shook his head.

“Fuck off, Dunn. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Ryan said. 

You fixed your hair in the spotty mirror on the wall and opened the door fully, sending Ryan’s shoulder to knock into the frame. He looked at you with half-assed anger. He was simply too excited to tease you both about this to feel mad. 

“I’m gonna kick your ass Ryan.”

Bam laughed and stepped up behind you, body framing yours just as it always did. Protecting, waiting, and patient. 

“You guys are both right. I’m an asshole. Sorry for inviting you to my Halloween party. What a dick.” Ryan shook his head and faked a solemn look down at the floorboards. 

You and Bam rolled your eyes and pushed past Ryan. He took his jacket off and placed it on your shoulders as you both walked out the front door and onto the cold wet front lawn. 

You took out a cigarette and Bam was pulling out a light before it could settle in between your lips. 

“Thanks,” you said and took a long drag.

“You come here alone?” Bam asked, hands shoved inside his pockets. 

“Cass,” you answered, handing him the cig.

He took it and smiled before smoking it.

“I’m sure Dico is happy about that.”

“He’s sucking her toes in his bedroom as we speak, I’m sure of it.”

Bam held his stomach and let out a loud, sweet laugh. He sounded like he did in high school, voice cracking and awkward. He always sounded more boyish when he was drunk.

You looked over at him as he laughed and couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips. 

It started to drizzle as you two shared the cigarette in silence, the party escalating behind you. 

“You uh…can I walk you home?” Bam asked after the rain had a chance to pool around your boots, grass and mud encasing your feet. 

You turned around towards the house and tried to recall where you left Cassie’s purse. You knew she’d stay the night with Dico and that she’d prefer to walk back in the morning after a couple Red Bulls and Advils.

     “You dropped her purse back in the living room when we…” Bam started and got shy. 

“I’ll go tell Ryan to take care of it, and be right back.”

Bam walked back inside and came out holding your jacket, purse, and two soda cans. You laughed and took a can. Bam placed the hood of your jacket on your head and draped it over his own jacket that encased your body, and turned you down the empty street. 

You let him take your hand and let your brain doze off, let yourself feel this waking dream. He told you about his breakfast with Phil and April that morning after he flew in from Philly. You told him about the bitch you had to deal with at the restaurant and he listened. 

Neither of you mentioned what happened or what all of this could mean. You just let one another be what they were, right here…right now. Even if you didn’t know what that was. 

It wasn’t until you got to your front door and pushed your cold, brass key into the lock that Bam scrunched his eyebrows at you and tilted his head.

“What are you supposed to be, by the way?” He asked.

“I’m a sexy school girl…I guess…” You said, pushing the door open and walking in, leaving it open. An invitation. 

You turned to see Bam standing right outside the frame; a gentle, happy…and almost grateful smile crept onto his face. He looked at you…really taking you in.

“What?” You asked, standing awkwardly on your welcome mat, hands clasped around the handles of your purse.

Bam just shook his head and stepped inside and past you, kicking the door closed behind him. 

“Nothing, pretty girl.” He called out as he walked into your living room, a dull lantern light casting along the room from the corner.

You took a deep breath and followed him. It was never just nothing with you and Bam.

And that was okay.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hooters Waitress Y/N HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, flirting, creepy guy mention

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! These headcannons were inspired by this fic by @dunnswrld and one of my friends who once jokingly told me she was going to work at Hooters someday! Some of these HC’s were actually based on real events that happened to me or people I know XD anyways, thank you for sending in requests and please keep them coming!

After Jeff had to bail the guys out of jail due to their drunken antics, they were barred from partying for a couple nights,

And yes, that did include any trips down to the hotel bar. This was a huge boner killer because there’s only so much fun you can have getting hammered in your room.

“I mean, I like the guy-” Steve mused about Jeff as he laid back against one of the beds, “but I feel like a caged animal stuck in this joint...“

Inspired by their desperate predicament, Knoxville got an idea everyone was onboard with,

“I think there’s a Hooters across the street…Why don’t we go there?”

Technically a restaurant, Hooters was something that Jeff could let slide.

Now, you didn’t recognize all of them when they walked in, because you only paid attention to Jackass when the cute one was half naked on screen, but you could tell they were famous

Nearly shoving your coworker out of the way, you rushed over to where they had already gotten seated,

“Hiiii! My name’s Y/N, and I’ll be your server tonight!”

Flipping open your little notepad, you turned to the table, “Now, what can I get you boys to drink?”

Johnny spoke up first, sweet as always, “How about a round of beers for me and the guys? Miller High Life if you’ve got 'em, ma’am.”

As you jotted it down, the guys exchanged ‘woah, she’s hot’ glances. I mean, even in the world of Hooter’s waitresses, this lady was something…

And remember how you didn’t recognize all of them at first?

Well, given the fact your main customer base were middle aged men, Bam’s whole skate punk look with the black hoodies and eyeliner and whatnot didn’t exactly scream maturity to you

I’m not even going to mention his height…

Point is, you kinda assumed he was one of their teenage sons or step kids or something, so you bent down and asked him in that patronizing coo,

“Can I get the little prince of darkness anything to drink? We’ve got Sprite, Pepsi…”

After connecting the dots, Bam’s face flushed bright pink.

Part of him was pissed that you thought he was some prepubescent twerp, but at the same time he couldn’t be that mad because this hot piece of ass was being all sweet to him

Ry interjected, putting a paternal hand on his back before Bam could correct you, “The little guy’ll take a chocolate milk.”

That earned him a good, silverware rattling kick under the table.

After you dropped off their beers, you tottered off to tend to other customers and the crew got to discussing their smoking hot waitress.

Johnny, all of a sudden Mr. Polite, stepped in once the conversation got a little too raunchy for his taste, “Alright, boys- let’s be gentlemen here.”

“We’re at Hooters!” Bam scoffed at his resistance, “We don’t have t’be gentlemen!”

Ryan, who never really got the guys’ whole obsession with boobs, rolled his eyes at him, “You’re startin’ to sound like your uncle.”

Taking a sip of his beer, Dunn imitated Vito’s…unique manner of speech, “‘Oh, we’re at hooters! We don’t gotta be gentlemen!’”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me? Fuck you!”

Finally breaking up the squabble was Steve, who had been busy eyeing your fine ass from across the room, and he leaned over to Bam,

“Hey, little prince of darkness- think’y could knock your crayons on the floor?”

Dropping off their drinks, you glanced around the table at the sleazy expressions that were all looking back at you and you asked if they wanted to order any wings

Flashing you a charming smile, Chris playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you as he put down his menu, “I was gonna ask if you were on the menu, but I’m a vegetarian!”

Steve saw his chance and quickly piped up from across the table, “I’m not!”

It was like some animal planet show, but instead of fighting for territory, they were all competing with each other to see who could get the pretty girl to look at them more.

Sure, it may have been against company policy to give out your number, but that’s only in instances when creepy men pester you about it,

Not so much if you happened to jot down your digits on the bill of a group of very handsome, very charming customers.

[knoxvillesjackass]

You mentioned in the no nut November smut with johnny, possibly doing a reversed one where the reader is dared to do it? Love your stories, and I hope you keep writing! ❣

your tables were easy to turn - j.k

quite smutty, btw!

this is bad, dont come for me. i tried to write this and then rewrite it over such a long time, so that's why. it is the first chapter in probably a longer series. i'll see what happens! hope they will be better, though!

You and Johnny had anything but an average sex life. In fact, it was probably way above average. You craved each other all the time, and you made no effort at trying to hide it from anyone.

Not from friends or even the general public. Some couples found the whole public display of affection uncomfortable. You were definitely not one of them.

But the Jackass crew, they’d seen just about everything, if not too much of everything.

Every now and then, you and Johnny would disappear and no one questioned where you'd gone, or what you were doing. You were fucking, and you were willing to do it whenever and wherever.

“Honestly PJ, your ideas are sick,” you remarked through heavy breaths as Johnny mindlessly moved his lips against your neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin.

He didn’t answer you, but merely grabbed your ass and hoisted you onto the small table, lips still attached to your neck.

“Try to be quiet, yeah?” Johnny reminded you for the fourth time since the two of you had snuck into a small storage room on set. You were usually claustrophobic, and the barely two square meters room would’ve, in any other situation, sent you straight into a panic attack, but when Johnny had started touching and grabbing you all over, you’d had other things to worry about.

Johnny reached down and pulled his boxers out, his erect and needy cock springing out. You smiled excitedly and wrapped your legs tightly around Johnny’s waist, bringing him in even closer than before.

He snuck his hand down between your legs and managed to pull your panties to the side, despite the room being as dark as it was.

You let out a loud, high-pitched squeal when Johnny slid his index finger into your soaked cunt. He shot you a warning look and grumbled, reminding you to be quiet again.

He worked his finger in and out of you, making sure that you were wet and ready for his cock. You whined impatiently, even though you knew that Johnny was doing it for your good. So that you could enjoy the whole of his cock without pain or any discomfort.

Unfortunately, because of the limited space, serious foreplay wasn’t really an option, so Johnny brought his hand to his mouth and you watched as he licked his fingers and brought them back to your cunt, lubricating it fully.

He brought the tip of his cock to your soaked opening and gazed into your eyes. “Ready?” Johnny whispered and you nodded eagerly and smiled, preparing yourself by grabbing his shoulders tightly.

Johnny's hand went to cover your mouth the second he pushed his cock into you, knowing all too well that you couldn’t bite a moan back, even if your life depended on it.

Johnny was pushing inside of you at an animalistic pace, his whole length filling you up completely.

Johnny removed his hand for a short second to rearrange your legs, and already, you were a moaning, whimpering mess.

“Fuck-Ah!” You yelled out when Johnny hit that sweet spot. He quickly slapped his palm over your mouth once again and shushed you. “I told you to be quiet!” He hissed under his breath and pumped recklessly in and out of you.

“I-I-I can’t,” you managed to mutter under his hand, tears streaming down your face, due to the indescribable pleasure of Johnny’s cock.

“Bite my shoulder,” Johnny whispered and you gazed at him, confused. "Either that or my hand's going back over your mouth; you decide," Johnny grumbled. His hand over your mouth barely allowed you to breathe, so you did as he'd told you and bit down on his clothed shoulder. Your nails were clawing into his back, and you sniffled softly against him.

As his thrusts got sloppier but deeper, you could feel an orgasm forming, slowly and powerfully.

“I-I’m gonna c-“

“Jesus Christ!”

Johnny instinctively threw himself over you completely to shield your naked body from whoever had just interrupted him blowing your back out.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Johnny bellowed, still inside of you as turned his head to spot Steve-O in the doorway, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Could you two just try to keep it in your pants for two fucking seconds?” Steve-O asked angrily and dispersed, slamming the door roughly.

Johnny had stopped his movements, but your hips buckled against his in an attempt to get him to move again, but he pulled out of you, and it caused a loud, displeased whine to leave your lips.

“Johnny!” You hissed as he started putting his clothes on angrily, his eyes focused on the door.

"Johnny, you cannot be serious! I was this clo-"

"We'll continue later," Johnny shut you down, seemingly pissed off as he headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” You yelped and jumped down from the table.

“Just put on your clothes!” He ordered you and headed out of the storage room, leaving you all alone after slamming the door.

You could hear a commotion in the break room, and when you entered it, Johnny and Steve-O were staring at each other intensely, eyebrows furrowed and all.

“How about you don’t just fucking barge in?” Johnny asked angrily, to which Steve-O rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It’s a workplace, dumbass! None of us wants to see you guys going at it every day!” Steve-O exclaimed. You placed a hand on Johnny's bicep and squeezed it. He looked at you shortly, shaking his head.

“We’ve only just started shooting and you guys are already fucking in the storage room?” Steve-O huffed. “You literally cannot keep your hands off each other, it’s gross.”

For some reason, that comment got under your skin a bit more and you took a step forward.

You were an adult, who could absolutely control herself, and you could prove it too.

“Bet.”

Johnny stiffened up at your word and jerked his head back.

He knew how competitive you could be, and compared with Steve-O’s inability to lose, this could only end badly.

“What are we betting?” Johnny asked. He already knew, but he wished to be proven wrong.

“Okay, fine,” Steve-O perked up a bit, loving the idea of a challenge, where the odds were 100% in his favour. “One month, no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Johnny sneered and grabbed your arm, trying to pull you away from the conversation.

“A month is too long. Two weeks,” you negotiated, yanking your arm from Johnny's tight grip. Steve-O shrugged and nodded.

“Fucking hold up,” Johnny paused and pinched your arm to make you look at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed quietly and passed Steve-O an angry glare.

“I can do three weeks, but when I say no touching, I mean; no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

Now, you understood. This man was really pushing your buttons.

“Fine,” you agreed and narrowed your eyes at him.

“But, if we make it three weeks, you’re never going to bother us again about fucking again, ever.”

Steve-O paused and considered what he would be giving up if you managed to pull off the bet.

“Fine, but if I win, you can’t fuck here, or while I’m even in a mile’s radius of you.”

There was a wicked look in Steve-O’s eyes. If he won, he’d no doubt be ruthless and unfair.

There was a whole lot at stake. But the chance of being able to do whatever you wanted with Johnny, wherever you wanted, without Steve-O’s commentary was too good to pass up.

“Deal.” 

“Oh, so I don’t get a say in it? Cool, 'cause this obviously doesn’t affect me at all,” Johnny chimed in, clearly agitated. 

“Okay, but how nice would it be if he couldn’t say shit about us,” you quirked an eyebrow at Johnny and he sighed, running a hand through his hair, ultimately shaking his head in dissent.

"We're not doing this sh-"

Steve-O interrupted Johnny with a grin and looked at his watch. “Alright, it’s 13:20. Time starts now. Good luck,” he jibed and walked away, leaving you and Johnny in the break room.

You could clearly sense, that he was angry at you, and you understood why, but your competitiveness seemed to overtake any feelings of remorse, guilt and regret.

You looked at Johnny and bit your lip, well aware that you'd messed up badly. He crossed his arms and breathed out heavily.

"Do you have any idea about what you've just done?" Johnny asked you, and a cheeky smile formed upon your lips. "I don't find this funny at all, Y/N."

Your smile quickly disappeared and you frowned at Johnny's genuine disappointment.

“I think you should head home,” he spoke. This was not a question or a nice suggestion, it was an order.

You frowned and watched as Johnny spun on his heels and left you with an awful sense of guilt.

-

Johnny stared at you from across the dinner table, exasperated, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

You sipped your wine and raised your eyebrow at him.

"Don't you think you've had enough wine?" Johnny asked and followed the wine glass with his stare as you placed it back down on the table.

"Why are you still so pissed off? Chill out," you hiccupped and scoffed.

"Why? Are you seriously asking me why?” Johnny hissed and bit his cheek. You nodded and leaned forward.

"What the fuck happened to listen to each other, Y/N? I'm so pissed at you right now," Johnny growled as you stared down at your plate of food.

It had to have been the 100th time that day, that Johnny was having a go at you.

He'd been scolding you from the moment he'd arrived home from work. You'd grown numb to his outbursts, slightly starting to feel that the man deserved to not get any sex from you with that temper of his. Besides, he didn't need to scold you, because you already felt awful.

But were you going to give up and let Steve-O win? Fuck no.

Johnny couldn't take the silence for much longer. He twitched and fiddled around in his chair, before eventually slamming his palm into the dining table.

"I have to be on set with that asshole every day for the next four months, Y/N! You fucking ganged up on me with Steve-O?"

Steve-O had been enjoying the rest of the work day by regularly passing Johnny mocking grins and asking how you were doing.

“I think we should make a list,” you suggested and Johnny stopped chewing on his lamb chop and looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” He asked and stared at you, bitter and indeed confused.

You reached down into your bag and ripped a page out of your notebook and grabbed a pen. "You know, of things, we can't or shouldn't do. Just to make this easier," you shrugged.

You were convinced, that your confidence would come to bite you in the ass later on, but at that moment, you were doing just fine.

"I don't think, that we should sleep in the same bed," you said casually but jumped when Johnny protested with a loud yelp.

He stared at you bewildered and shook his head at your proposal.

"I'm just saying; it'll be easier if we don't sleep in the same bed. That way, we won't get tempted by anything," you explained and ignored Johnny's rolling eyes.

"Do you not see how fucking ridiculous this is? We're a couple, Y/N! Couples have sex, so why are you suddenly insistent on not letting me touch you for three weeks?" Johnny asked, so frustrated that he just couldn't sit for another second. He stood up and paced back and forth.

You were starting to get irritated with Johnny. Yes, you fucked up, badly, but your man was force-feeding you with guilt trips and self-pity, and it had made you feel slightly less guilty about the whole thing.

"Grow up, Johnny! It's three weeks. You'll survive," you sassed and wrote down sleeping in opposite beds as the first thing on your list.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he hissed and you stared at him. "No, Johnny; you're fucking ridiculous," you snapped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bar with Penny. I don't know when I'll be home," you hissed, hearing Penny's car out front.

"You're not going anywhere until we've figured this out, Y/N!" Johnny exclaimed. You grabbed your purse and headed for the door. "Come and catch me then," you said sarcastically and closed the door behind you.

-

You told your friend all about the bet, who seemed to find it as amusing as Steve-O. You needed a break from Johnny and his understandable, but annoying, pissy attitude.

You drank and then drank a little more. Maybe a little too much, but you were having fun. You weren't exactly excited to return home though, but you hoped that Johnny would be fast asleep.

-

Penny dropped you off after a few hours at the bar. You had a wine bottle in your hand, half-drunken.

The lights were still on in the house. How fantastic.

You entered the house and immediately, you could hear the sound of the shower going. You took a sip of the wine bottle in your hand and walked to the bathroom, opened the door and entered into the steamy room.

Usually, you would be in there with him, back against the wall as he'd mercilessly pound you into submission. Tonight was, by your own fault, different.

A hiccup from you made Johnny turn off the shower and he peeked out to see your drunken state. He sighed and shook his head.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N," he groaned and walked out of the shower, naked and glistening like some Greek god.

You licked your lips as your eyes travelled down his body. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and it made you snap your eyes up to meet his.

"You know how many fucking times I tried to call?" Johnny asked you and grabbed the wine bottle in your hand, placing it out of your reach, You whined at crossed your arms.

"My phone died," you said. That was a lie. You'd just decided, that you didn't wanna deal with Johnny's bullshit while you were having fun.

"How did you get home?" He asked you. "Penny drove me," you responded.

He looked so good, it was almost painful. The bet hadn't even crossed your mind when you decided to wrap your arms around his naked upper body, placing soft kisses on his chest. Your hand moved down to unwrap the towel from his waist.

"Y/N, you're drunk," Johnny said and unwrapped your arms from his body. "So what?" You whined and began to lower yourself and fumble with Johnny’s towel.

He really wanted to, but he couldn't bring himself to have sex with you while you were that drunk. Johnny pulled you up by your arms and shook his head like a disapproving father while handing you your toothbrush.

"You'll thank me tomorrow," he commented. You shrugged, too tired to think of what that could've meant.

You brushed your teeth drunkenly and stripped yourself of your clothes.

You walked into the bedroom and watched as Johnny removed his pillow from the bed and began to exit the room.

"What are you doing?" You asked confused. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You wanted us to sleep separately, remember?" Johnny asked.

You didn't have a recollection of ever saying that. "I would never say that," you huffed.

Johnny chuckled. "If you say so," he sighed and placed his pillow back on the bed and laid down.

He closed his eyes and turned off his bedside light, but you kept standing, arms crossed.

"Jooohnnyyy," you whined and he hummed in response.

You sat down on the bed and leaned over Johnny, planting kisses on his neck and down his shoulder, but you didn't reach very far before he shook you off. "Stop, Y/N," he groaned tiredly.

"But, Johnny," you whimpered. "No, Y/N," he tiredly groaned and grabbed your arm, softly forcing you to lay down beside him, your back against his chest, his embrace keeping you locked in.

“Noo,” you whined, squirming in his grip, your ass grinding against his crotch, unintentionally.

The whole night was spent with you waking up occasionally, trying to twist yourself out of Johnny's embrace because you either wanted to drink more or because you were incredibly horny.

Eventually, you just gave up and slept through the night.

[jackassbrainrot]

nasty new compulsion [dunn x f!reader]

desc: you're a part of the jackass crew. you and ryan are totally just friends ;)

a/n: another ry fic! touchy tease ryan >>>, can't stop writing him and oh my god this is so much longer than I expected it to be I just got sucked into it

warnings: smut, teasing, p in v, unprotected sex

word count: 1129

Being Tremaine's assistant is a pain in the ass, or more accurately, he is. Despite having to listen to him bark out orders the entire day, working on the movie has been fun, especially since meeting Ryan Dunn. He's somehow the most normal of the cast and you two clicked the moment you met. Everyone knew you'd become the best of friends due to Bam's constant bitching about Dunn replacing him. You'd reassure him saying you'd never be as close to Ryan as he was, which was true, but you'd never tell him you were closer in other ways.

You were fumbling with some mics behind a trailer, when you felt Ryan's arms wrap around your waist. He rested his head on your shoulder, his beard scratching your soft skin as he places teasing kisses on your neck. "Aren't you supposed to be filming?" You try to shake him off gently, not wanting to get caught by the others, though you couldn't resist tilting your head to give him more access to your neck. "Mm, no, they're doin' the muscle stimulator thing, they won't be needin' me for a while." You can feel his sly smile against your skin, his lips travelling up your neck to whisper in your ear. "C'mon, I need you."

"Don't say that!" You finally turn around, breaking away from his grip, your voice coming out as a squeak. He chuckles lowly, looking down at you with lust filled eyes as he pushes your body against the trailer. One hand on your waist, the other holding the side of your neck as he kisses down it again, making your breath hitch. The warmth of his body leaves yours suddenly and you look up at him with confusion.

"I mean, if you're not up for it, I guess I'll go join the guys." He's gone before you even get the chance to say anything. You hear Jeff yell your name and you quickly straighten yourself out before getting back to work. For the rest of the day you stare daggers at Dunn, watching him wink at you with a knowing smile across his face.

You're sitting in the passenger seat of Tremaine's car, Knoxville and Kosick in the back, arguing over who knows what. "Hey, Jeff, can you do me a favor?" You ask quietly, trying to keep your conversation far from your other coworkers' ears. "Depends." He replies, suspicion in his voice. "How long do you think you could keep Bam out of his room when we get back to the hotel?" He pauses for a moment before speaking again. "You owe me."

When you get to the hotel, you jump out of the car, smiling at Tremaine before running up the stairs to Dunn and Bam's room. Bam opens the door, a half empty beer bottle hanging from his tattooed hand already. "Jeff told me to come get you." You blurt out before he even gets to say a word and he groans "Now?" He whines, sounding like a teenager whose mom just told him to clean his room. You nod, trying to hide your smile as Ryan steps up behind him. "Go, before he goes all directorzilla on you." Ryan says, earning a groan from the younger man as he walks out of the room. You watch him go down the hallway before Ryan pulls you into his room.

"He's gonna come back in a minute when he realizes Tremaine doesn't actually need him for shit." He says with a smug look on his face, contrasting the hands softly holding your waist. "I asked Jeff to keep him distracted for a bit." A wicked smile spreads over your face as you look up at him, draping your arms around his neck. "Oh, you little minx." He looks down at you, his light eyes dark with lust, as he walks back until his legs hit the bed, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap.

Your lips meet his in a desperate kiss, your hands tangling in his hair. "Aren't you desperate?" He mumbles against your lips as his hands slip under your shirt. "Your fault." You breathe out and he chuckles before unclasping your bra and taking it and your shirt off in one smooth movement.

"Let me make it up to you." He says, flipping you onto your back on the bed. He hovers over you, kissing down your chest as he unbuttons your jeans. You help him take them off and he unhooks the towel hanging around his waist, throwing it across the room. His mouth latches onto your nipple as his fingers rub your clit slowly, making you whine out his name.

Your hand drops down to his hair again, pulling at his golden strands, making him groan. He trails kisses down your torso, sucking a hickey over your hipbone, making you squirm. Going lower, he makes sure to kiss everywhere except your pussy. You let out another whine, trying to push his head down when his movements still, looking up at your desperate expression. "Can't even take a bit of teasing, huh?" He mocks. "I've been taking it the whole day, asshole!" You cry out in frustration.

"Alright, alright." He puts his hands up defensively, kneeling between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He leans down to kiss you as his dick enters you agonizingly slow, dragging a moan out of your occupied mouth. Your hips buck up but he holds them down, pinning you down on the mattress as he keeps his thrusts slow and deep. "Ry, please, I need you to go faster, please!"

"You need it?" He teases, watching you nod frantically under him. Suddenly you feel yourself getting picked up off the bed as he flips you so you're on top of him. "Take what you need, then." You move your hips at a pace much quicker than his was, holding onto his tattooed arms to keep yourself balanced. His hands roam over your body as he watches you ride him with half lidded eyes.

As you feel your body going taut, tightening around his dick, you lean down to kiss him to silence the scream threatening to slip from your lips. His dick twitches inside you, pushing you over the edge as you moan into his mouth, feeling his cum spill into you. You collapse, falling on his chest.

"I'm not sleeping there, that shit's contaminated!" Bam's scream rings out through the hallway, Knoxville's cackle following right after. Both you and Ryan laugh, lying next to each other, exhausted. "Well, no need to sneak around anymore, huh?" You ask, making him laugh again, before you both fall asleep to the sound of Bam whining about you stealing his best friend and his room.