#jackass1

[johnny-coxville]

How about a really cute johnny and female reader (she's johnnys girlfriend but she doesn't do any of the stunts) fic where they're playing with the Super Mighty Glue for the third film and one of the other guys sticks the reader and Johnny together and he's really cute with it and finds it hilarious?

Figured I might as well mix the two aspects of the asks ;P

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Johnny x fem!reader fluff

♡

Too Close!

The glue that rested inside the wooden drawer was saved for a rainy day. That day. Was today. Johnny opened the blinds in the bedroom, squinting at the bright sunlight. The rain beat down on the window, giving cool air through the cracks.

He turned his head to you, where you slept softly. He made his way back over to the bed and sat down. Scratching your head, and brushing the hair out of your face. You slowly woke up, greeted by a soft kiss from Johnny. You smiled and kissed his lips. Laying your head back down on the pillow. You stretched your arms and yawned.

“Time to get up sweetheart, heading to Bam’s. It’s raining so you’re being dragged along to watch a stunt. I swear it’s harmless.” He said rubbing your shoulder. You sighed. “Alright. But if you get hurt I’m not driving you to the hospital this time.” You muttered. Of course, this was a bluff you always got so scared when he’d do such a dangerous stunt.

You two got up and dressed. Johnny slipped into his blue and white long-sleeve. Looping the belt through his black jeans. Tying his signature skull and crutches Converse. You took one of his flannels, sporting a black t-shirt underneath. Leaving it unbuttoned. You never bothered putting on a raincoat.

Finishing with your shoes, he slipped his jacket on. Grabbing the hotel keycard and sliding it into his jacket pocket. Passing you the car keys, you both headed into the heavy rain. Driving through PA wasn’t your favorite thing, but at least it wasn’t California traffic.

Johnny chatted the entire way there. Finally pulling into Bam’s driveway, multiple cars had already been pulled up. You were honestly nervous. You really weren’t interested in whatever house-destroying antics they were going to get up to.

Johnny reassured you, their plans wouldn’t be putting themselves in danger. You simply rolled your eyes and got prepared to run through the rain. Entering Bam’s parents, you shook yourself dry. Being greeted by April as usual.

She led you to the kitchen where the entire gang sat. You knew this would be trouble. All sitting at the table, like rowdy little children. They greeted you and Johnny. Sat on the table were a few containers of super glue. You looked at it unsure, looking over to Johnny.

Kosick stood leaning against the kitchen counter, camera mounted on his arm. Along with a few of the other film crew, just relaxing, waiting for the action to start. You were giving quite an unsure look. What were they going to do? Glue their lips to each other's assholes? See how far they could run with glue stuck to their feet? It had to have been something extremely outlandish.

¨Don’t look too excited for this Cons.” Dave giggled. You smiled. He always called you Cons because he could never remember your actual name. Converse were the only shoes you and Johnny ever wore, so the name stuck. “Not really. I mean. It’s probably a lot better than most of the things you’ve done.” You said pulling a chair at the table.

Bam took the initiative and stood at the foot of the table. “I say Johnny and Cons do something together! She’s never in our stunts. There’s no way we could hurt her with some super glue.” Bam said pointing at you. April facepalmed. She loved you dearly, and always talked you out of a stunt, no matter how small and stupid it was.

You nodded your head. “What are your plans.” You said caving. What’s the worse that could happen? “Alright, so you’re going to want to take your shirt o-” Before Bam could even finish Johnny cut him off with a flat no. Tremaine in the corner gave a suggestion. “Wee-man and Preston first. Just to see how it works out.” He said pointing to the two guys who uncomfortably shuffled. Sighing Preston got out of his seat.

Wee-man follows behind and stands with his arms folded. Never really fond of actually having to do a stunt. “Shirt off. Both of you” Tremaine said stepping closer with his smaller camera equipment. “Fucking seriously?” Preston scoffed.

He discarded his shirt, annoyed, and stood waiting for the next move. Wee-man reluctantly removed his shirt and stood face-palming. “Wait wait wait, I wanna do the glue!” You shouted. Tremaine shrugged his shoulders. “Works with me.” He said giving the go for filming. Everyone began to shuffle into place. Getting out of their chairs. The camera began to roll.

“Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! And this isss Super Mighty Glue!” He said reading the name off the glue bottle. You stood with an excited smile. “Here we have two very willing and lovely participants.” He said presenting Preston and Wee-man, with incredibly annoyed faces. You snickered taking over the bit.

“Alright, Preston you’re on the bottom, and wee-man you’re on top.” You said helping Preston slide onto the counter. The guys were already hysterical. Once Preston was on the table, you lathered his stomach full of glue. It smelled awful but surely felt even more often to feel on the skin. Wee-man was assisted onto the table, Bam shoving him backward while he was trying to balance.

“Bam!” April screamed, hitting him in the shoulder. Wee-man’s ass now glued to Preston's stomach. “Hold on! Hold on! I got this.” Johnny said pulling out a stun gun. Before he could even take a few steps Wee-man started to scream and fight, painfully ripping himself off of Preston's stomach. Preston screamed in pain pushing himself off the table. Both men jumping around and screaming.

“Someone fucking lather up Knoxville. This shit hurts!” Wee-man screamed out. Johnny wanting to prove some kind of point, maybe that he was tough, laid on the table, pulling his shirt off. “Lather me up, baby!” He said rubbing his hands together.

You squeezed two different bottles of glue onto his chest, cringing at the glue glopping and running down him. You crossed around the counter cautiously not to be stuck to Johnny in some stupid way. Just as you were ready to put the glue down, Dunn hauled you up by your shirt. You couldn’t fight his grip, being picked up like some kind of toddler by their onesie. He pressed you directly against Johnny’s bare sticky body. Johnny found this hysterical, you definitely did not.

“No fucking way! Get me off of him!” You shout. Everyone laughing except April. Johnny was nearly in tears by this point laughing, carefully trying to slide off the table. Every time you tried to pull yourself off of him, he’d squeal in pain. Your t-shirt was basically infused into his skin. Your flannel awkwardly stuck to the sides of his body where glue had seeped down.

Aww’s and laughter were spread throughout the room. You rested an angry face on his shoulder as he held you against his chest. “She’s reaallyyy stuck to me, man!” Johnny said showing you off to the camera. Flopping his body around trying to detach you. “Definitely going to have to cut her off of me..” Johnny said scratching his head. Glue stuck to his fingers getting caught up in his hair.

Looking into the camera he cringed. Ripping his fingers out of his hair, he pulled hair straight from his scalp. “Yep. I’m done! Can someone just. Set my shirt on top of her hand so she can change..” Knoxville asked.

April let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got it.” She said leaving the kitchen. Coming back with one of her t-shirts for you to wear. You kept trying to kick at his knees, nearly having Johnny buckle over a few times. Giggling each time you made a poor attempt. “I’m going to glue your beard to someone’s pubes Dunn. I fucking swear on it.” You said as April wrapped the shirt around your neck for you to use shortly.

He giggled in the corner shaking his head. Johnny carried you around the house, holding you close. You felt like a baby strapped to his dad’s chest. Once you were nearly in the bathroom you could hear the other guys hollering. Assuming one of them had continued the bit.

He closed the bathroom door and shuffled himself to the counter to grab the scissors. You let out a heavy sigh. He giggled to himself, making eye contact from time to time. “I swear I could kill him PJ” You said pulling yourself slightly back to let him cut through the fabric. Thankfully these weren’t “good clothes”. You’d be fuming.

Once he had gotten the shirt undone, he just tore the flannel off. You finally were let go, sitting on the bathroom counter. You stared at his now extremely patchy chest, covered almost entirely in your shirt. You shrugged, sliding your new shirt on.

“Pugs! Not Drugs!” Johnny read your shirt. “That’s fucking great.” He sighed trying to relax his laughter. April always provided the best shirts. Another one to the collection. Once you had managed to clean the shirt pieces off Johnny, you both walked out to the kitchen. Dunn’s beard glued completely to the side of Bam’s face.

Idiots.

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[cvmsterfire]

he’s so 😻

[philipjohnclapp]

Can you write Steve-o x Johnny Knoxville. They kiss eachother like homiesexuals. But Johnny is dressed as a cowboy, and Steve-o as a clown.

Clowning Around

A/N: No, I didn’t wait a year to write this, yes it’s short, yes it’s quick, and it is technically not a ship. Just bros being bros.

Steve-O almost always threw ragers, and when he wasn’t he was at someone else’s rager, or by himself having his own “personal” rager when money was tight. And boy was it always. He spent every nickel and dime on substances, and barely made his rent on time. Not that it mattered if he lost his apartment or not. It wouldn’t be his first time being homeless, plus one of his buddy’s would gladly take him in if he threatened them the right amount. If not, he always had his sister.

Now that she was having kids it made that a bit more difficult, she was more adamant in him not being around them when he had any sort of substance in his system, but he could care less: he hated kids, and that meant less responsibility.

Steve-O was in his crummy bathroom. So messy that if he even attempted snorting coke he’d get some sort of rachid std. He didn’t care. He actually just finished up doing a line, a thick trail of oozy dark blood dripping down from one of his nostrils. His nose was sensitive, and he was dazed. The blood tainting his costume, well, the face paint. He didn’t seem to care as he haphazardly brought up his shaky druggy hand and smeared the blood and makeup all down his face, before grabbing onto that golden doorknob and swinging the door open. Successfully bonking into whoever stood in front of him. His body swayed as he practically collapsed on him.

Two strong hands found their way grasping onto his waist, the only thing holding him upright was the man in front of him. Steve-O let out a weak laugh, smiling a dopey smile to himself as he met eyes with his savior. It was Johnny Knoxville! He came! He was too fucking coked out to give him a proper greeting, trading it to just rest his forehead against the crook of Johnnys neck; letting out a breathy sigh. Knoxville smelt of Walmart cologne and whisky, that made him laugh again.

“Hey, cowboy.”

Steve-O mumbled against his neck, pulling his head away to look right back at him. Admiring his costume and his stupid hat, sniffling as Johnny stared back at him.

“No thank you kiss?”

Johnny asked, Steve-O couldn’t read his expression, he couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. He never could. Steve-O's lips pressed into a thin line as he tried to give it some thought, Johnny's southern drawl lingering heavily in the air. He let out a breath of air that he didn’t even know he was holding in.

“..mmm, if you insist, dude.. ‘m not gay, though.”

Whether he was confirming that for Johnny or himself was a mystery, he slurred his own words. Everything he’s done that night could be smelt from his breath as he sorta stood on the top of his toes. Leaning forward and pressing his bloody dry lips against Knoxvilles.

Knoxville's hands never left his side, instead his grip tightened up a bit more and he pulled Steve-O closest until their chests were touching. Groin to groin as he deepened the kiss, making it last. He swiped his tongue across Steve-O's lips, tasting the copper blood, worn makeup, bitterness of the coke, and whatever cheap drink Steve-O had been nursing the whole night. He kissed him tenderly, in a passion filled way that only two best friends could understand.

[philipjohnclapp]

I mean, technically, he never left.

ryan was born in ohio

[thehandwixard]

the thing about kaito is that people fall for his signature trick all the time and it makes me boil because its like. its not like people DONT understand him or love him genuinely through this obvi im not the arbiter but hes a little cowardly jackass1 whos really really good at not being that when it counts, and even better at pretending not to be that in a way that makes suspicion roll off him like a duck. hes not a sunshine boy hes not the sun he is a flashlight in a dark room and or the werewolf and the full moon.

1and its BECAUSE hes gay and repressing it due to preconcieved ideas about masculinity and what it means to be strong directly contrasted with other gays in this game and others. i love him

[trylobite]

song tag 📻

rules: spell out your URL with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL**

ty 4 the tag @tantamount-treason mwah mwah

h - hole in the earth - deftones

y - your woman - white town

c - criminal - fiona apple

k - karma - sarah kinsley

m - monster - skillet

p - paranoid - the jonas brothers

3 - 3AM - matchbox twenty

this was ridiculously hard for some reason

**literally no one i tag has to do this i just thought it was interesting <3 and i tag the same ppl everytime bc i love them sm and theyre sexy and have huuuuge wieners

@viva-la-jackass1 @sluts4johnnyknoxville @slut4scorpios @kocksville @knoxvillefever @d1lftaro @vivaladunn

[overinaday-blog]

[johnny-coxville]

I was thinking maybe for a really smutty Johnny fic. The reader asks Johnny if he wants to try something new, she’s wants to see if he’ll cum inside her as they’ve never done that, Johnny gets super excited and super into it. With some dirty praise along the way and goofy excitement from knox ?

I'm sorry it's a bit short and not exactly on promt, but I'll gladly remaster it as soon as I'm free! Hope you enjoy it. :)

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At Last.

Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader nsfw

Time in bed with Johnny was never a bore. He always found something new to task you with. Position, praise, you name it. He made you feel good in everything he did. This time was entirely different.

You sat across from him at the wooden dinner table. A cute tablecloth laid across the table complimenting the decorations of your apartment. Johnny fiddled with the bottom of the cloth as he ate. Looking up at you every now and then to smile.

Once you were nearly finished with your plate, you paused. Taking a long gaze at him. He paused as well, his chewing put on hold. “What’s the matter?” He questioned with a mouthful of food. You grinned. “Nothing. I was just thinking about something.” You said twirling your fork around the plate.

He swallowed his food and cocked an eyebrow. “Anddd that iss?” He said with a side smile. You blushed with a small giggle. “Nothing!” You said teasing. Standing up from the table, emptying the rest of your leftover pasta into a pot. Heading to the sink to wash your dish. Johnny scooted out of his chair and followed.

He dropped his food into the pot and sat his plate on the counter. You ran the water for a moment, squirting the soap onto the sponge. Behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist. Kissing your neck and exposed shoulders.

You leaned into his touch, scrubbing the plate in front of you. You pressed your ass out, pushing it against his crotch. “Is this what you wanted to tell me?” He said pressing himself closer. You shook your head. “Johnny.” You said softly. You purposely drew out the situation just for the thrill. “I want you to cum in me.” You said nearly silent.

His movements were still a second. “Wait… Really? He said with almost a giggle. Like a child being told they were allowed to have a puppy. “Yes, Johnny.” You said setting the cleaned plates on the drying rack and twisting the sink off.

Mere seconds passing, he spun you around. Shoving your back against the ledge of the sink. Dipping down to your face to kiss you. His hands gripping onto your waist. You kissed him back, bringing your hands up to caress your face.

You pulled back with a small. “Calm down killer. You’re hurting my back on the sink.” You said giggling. He chuckled and stepped back. Letting you adjust your back. “If I had known I would’ve worn my cute g-string!” Johnny joked.

You sneered. “I’ll pass on that one.” You said walking towards the bedroom. You could feel the excitement radiating off of him. He had been waiting for this moment for months. Johnny entered the room behind you, shutting the door. You turned towards him and backed away slowly.

Your legs hit the front of the bed. He approached, pulling the shirt off of your body. He smiled wide. A smile that was almost always plastered across his face. You reached out and pulled off his own. Revealing his toned chest. He backed away a couple feet.

“Let’s not waste time honey. I know exactly what I want, and went I want it. I want you. Now. Get those clothes off.” He said beginning to unbutton his pants. He sent shivers down your body. You did what he said, and wasted no time. Sliding down your jeans, and slipping down your underwear. Looking up, all that he was left in was his boxers.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you close to his warm body. Resting his forehead against your own. He was significantly taller than you, his head tilting down to you. He shifted his face and began to kiss you. Immediately entering your mouth with his tongue. You explored each other’s body’s like you always did.

Though the interactions were more aggressive- more- yearning. You couldn’t wait any longer. You tugged his boxers down, and he took this as an invitation to remove your shirt and bra. Both of you struggled to shimmy off your articles of clothing but now left skin to skin. The warmth of your body’s burning each other.

You two backed against the bed, hitting the edge. He smiled and gently laid you against the made sheets. Soft against your bare back. The smiles shared between you two were genuine, and full of anticipation. He inched his way on top of you finding a comfortable position.

You knew he would start out gentle, inevitably leaving you a sore mess. He clicked his tongue and grabbed a pillow from behind you. Making sure both your head and lower back was supported.

Kneeling down into you he traced his fingers around your curves. He slowly pushed himself inside. A brand new sensation you had never experienced before. Thankfully with the grown anticipation, you were unbelievably soaked. Making his entry smooth.

His mouth just barely agape as he fully entered. “Wow.” was all he could mutter. You snickered at the dorky look on his face. Though admittedly just feeling him inside of you, entirely bare, was enough to make you howl.

His arms caged around your sides as he was inches away from your face. His warm breath tickling your nose. He began to pump. A slow pace for a start, but he was never patient.

As he picked up on his pace, your eyes were locked with his. Trying your best not to change expression. Johnny pushed himself deep and hard. Grunting every now and then when he changed pace. “Does it feel good sweetie?’ He whispered, a smile still wide across his face.

You nodded your head in response, hoping for something more. Noticing your lack of expression, he pulled out of you. He took your left breast into his mouth, and your right was graced with his twiddling fingers. Switching breasts he sucked and licked you in contentment.

He pulled away from you, standing up. He grabbed at his aching cock, and gave it a pump. Biting down on his lip as he admired your body.

He reached a hand out for you to grab, not saying anything. Giving a confused look you took his help and stood off the bed. He let go of your hand and stepped away from the foot of the bed. “You’re really going to feel it now. Get on that bed and arch for Johnny.” He said stepping over to you, giving you a firm smack.

You couldn’t help but giggle, and by that point, Johnny completely lost his composure. Letting out a hardy laugh. “I can’t take this so seriously! But god you’re fucking sexy.” He said rubbing his hands together in a silly manner.

You rolled your eyes and made your way back onto the bed. You got down on your hands and knees and arched your back as far as it would give. Pressing your face into the pillow. “Thatt’s it.” He said pressing his knee’s into the bed.

As you felt the weight shift, the anticipation that was long growing in you was ready to burst. He grabbed at your waist and shifted you until you were lined up with him. He was a lot larger than you, making for easy access to his favorite parts of you. He pressed inside of you rubbing your sides.

Though this time he wasn’t going to be gentle, nor slow. He slammed in and out. Scraping his nails along your figure. Pressing his head against your side. He rocked your body into him as he kept his pace. You screamed in pleasure, soaking the pillow you rested your face on.

For the first time you had heard Johnny moaning and howling almost as loud as you. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so fucking long.” He said grasping for your hanging breasts. Squeezing one with one hand, using the other to press bruises into your side.

"I've never felt you so soaked. You really wanted this huh? I bet you've wanted to feel my bare dick sooo fucking bad." He said with a strained laugh.

You grunted in response. Finding it hard to hang onto your breath. "I'm going to make sure you're fucking dripping with my cum baby." He said squeezing you harder.

Neither of you lasted very long. Screaming each other's names, almost drowning out the wet sounds of you both. As he nearly came to his edge, he bit into your shoulder. Making you cry out in painful pleasure.

“I’m going to fucking cum..” He grunted, pressing himself as deep as he could. As he hit your sweet spot, you thrashed in pleasure. Needing to be held still as you screamed. You could feel his hot cum filling you, a strong pressure making you feel even more full.

He didn’t stop until you were overfull. Pulling out you leaked cum. Your ass was covered in handprints, and your pussy was swollen. Though it was the most satisfaction you had ever felt. “I’m so glad I had been saving that. If I had any idea you were planning this I would’ve made it much more special.” Johnny said heading into the closet for a towel. “Rammed you harder than any bull that’s ever rammed me.” Johnny giggled. You sighed with a laugh. Relaxing your back, and laying on your stomach. Your body throbbed, but god. It was so worth it.

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[cvmsterfire]

bfs bday 🥳

[philipjohnclapp]

If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

Goretober Day 1

Prompt: Stab Wounds

Word Count: 748

A/N: This is REALLY bad, I wrote it rather quickly (like ten minutes) and I haven’t written anything in a while, so, read at your own risk.

It was just another day on set. They finished up whatever stunts they were filming for the day, and went straight to the bar. Somewhere he spent the majority of his time, usually trying to get free drinks. Because he couldn’t pay the five bucks for a drink, but a free five dollar drink and an ego boost is so much more worth it, so, Steve-O decided to show off.

And show off he did. Sitting on one of those dumb spiny barstools with a cocky shit eating, yellow, grin on his face. Looking at the customer next to him who was showing off his cool “butterfly” knife to whatever chick was on his opposite side. And that’s when an idea came to his mind, a way to snag a drink, a way to get everyone’s attention. So, he got the knife holder's attention.

“Hey, dude, bet you a drink I can balance the tip of that knife on my nose.”

Steve-O found himself boasting, as he turned on his chair to face the man. Something he’s done quite a few times, he’d say he perfected it by now. The man looked at him with curious eyes, looking away from the fair lady, and giving his gaze to Steve-O instead,

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try.”

The man let out a rather amused laugh. Handing over the pretty purple knife to Steve-O. He took it earnestly, ready to get himself a free drink. Hopefully a real strong one too.

Steve-O flipped open the knife, and eyed the pristinely sharp blade. Tilting his head back and letting out a just as sharp exhale as he put the blade tip against the tip of his nose. Somehow getting it to start to balance. His head shifted to the side a bit to keep it still; as still as he could anyways.

And then something he really didn’t expect to happen, happened. Knoxville put a rough hand on his shoulder, shaking him completely. Taking him by absolute surprise as his head lulled forward and the knife slipped, slicing the edge of his nose and starting to fall. His head jerked suddenly as he let out a whiny groan in pain, panicking and trying to catch the knife with his hands. Instead he full heartedly grabbed the knife by the blade with his left hand, slicing open all his digits. It felt like molten lava. While he tried to switch the knife from his left to the right he managed to stab himself right in his right palm, all the way through it in a rather clean plunge. Steve-O's eyes started to water.

“What the fuck, man??!”

The knife's owner on the stool next to him yelled at Steve-O, a look of disgust and anger was present on his face as he stood up, pushing Steve-O hard. Kicking him right when he was at his lowest, absolutely pissed.

“Fuck.. holy fucking shit, O!”

Knoxville yelled out as he took his hand straight off the others shoulder, looking at him with absolute horror, and major disbelief. Like he couldn’t just believe what he saw, Steve-O was trembling as he grabbed onto the counter with his left and right hand trying not to fall off the stool from the shove. Lodging the knife even further through his palm, severing more muscle and bone and important tendons and veins. He let out a sharp cry. As he stood up. Mumbling a few curses, as he tried to grab onto the guy he was trying to impress earlier with his rather bloodied hands. One had a fucking knife through it.

His breathing was all labored as he ruined the man’s white button up. Clenching onto it like he was the next coming of Christ, absolutely pleading with him, like a child pleading not to go to school. Pleading for help, pleading for just about anything right now. Steve-Os ears rung, and that man’s look of anger changed to one of surprise. And then disgust once more. Shoving Steve-O right off him, and spitting in his face.

“Yer fucking scum!”

His voice slurred slightly as Steve-O fell down, hitting against the bar stool behind him as he got knocked to the floor. In absolutely agonizing pain. He watched as the blood pooled from his nose, and both hands. Looking down at his now ruined shirt, and then back down at Steve-O. Giving him one more final vengeful kick, before he averted his gaze to Knoxville.

[cvmsterfire]

bam w girls should’ve been me tbh 😒

[cvmsterfire]

bam with cars 😤😤

[cvmsterfire]

he’s so fine oml 🤭🤭🤭

[cvmsterfire]

i 🫶 stephanie

[cvmsterfire]

look at him sleeping i took these btw (real)

[cvmsterfire]

he’s so bbg