#jackass 1

[s1eep-o]

Hi! I love ur fics <33 Can I request a Johnny Knoxville fic where maybe the gn!reader is having a really bad depression day (if ur comfy writing that!!) maybe he comes home earlier from filming to take care of them or something 🥺

fade into you.

pairing: johnny knoxville x gn!reader

warnings: reader being sad, alcohol consumption, use of the words: lovebug, doll, sweetheart + darling. lmk is there is more!!

you sat in the living room of the small apartment you and johnny shared. the television in the background on the mtv channel playing mazzy star. you haven't been feeling very well recently, causing you to sit at home with sad music playing as your thoughts engulfed your mind. you turn your head to the tv as an ad comes on, it shows a happy family at some dumb waterpark. this triggered something in you and you started to feel tears welling in your eyes. standing up you walk over to the small kitchen and open a bottle of beer and start to drink it. pulling your phone out of your pocket you decide to call johnny. ''hey there lovebug! what's up?'' johnny says over the phone, you can see the smile on his face, he didn't hear an answer causing him to get worried. ''is everything okay doll?'' he asks, voice laced with worry. ''i'm not feeling so well pj.. do you think you can come home early?..' i answer quietly into the phone. ''of course doll, i'll tell jeff somethin' came up.'' he says hanging up the phone.

you're laying on the couch again, sniffling with a face wet with tears when you hear the door rattle. ''hey darlin' i'm here..'' johnny says quietly as he takes off his shoes and walks over to the couch. ''oh sweetheart.. what's troubling ya' ?'' he asks with a small frown. you open your mouth but nothing come out, more tears start to stream down your face. johnny sits down next to you and pulls you to his chest, ''it's alright doll, let it all out..'' he coos. your tears slowly come to an end and johnny holds you out in front of him, ''you think you can tell me whats wrong now? '' he asks softly. ''i'm just having a bad day pj..'' you answer him softly. he just nods his head softly and stands up, bringing you up with him. ''c'mon let's get you cleaned up, yeah?'' he says as he walks you to the bathroom.

johnny is wiping your face with a warm towel as you are sitting on the counter of the bathroom sink. ''feelin' better?'' he asks while holding both sides of your face. you respond with a small nod and he gives you a big smile, pulling you into a tight hug. ''now if you ever feel like that again, just tell me okay? you don't have to tell me why you feel that way, because no matter what i will still be here to make you feel better. i love you.'' he says and gives you a small kiss to your forhead. you smile and give a small ''thanks''. ''now let's go to bed! i'm tired as shit!'' he exclaims, causing you to giggle.

A/N

woohoo there it is, i am on a roll! i think. anyways hope you like it! xoxo.

[fruityumbrella]

one piece is set in a nautical world with presumably nautical idioms and exclamations to match, right, like swearing by the sea rather than on a god etc. to wit, there's five seas (the four blues + the grand line) so we can assume when you're feeling particularly dramatic, you might refer to all those vast oceans to get your hyperbolic point across.

keeping that in mind, lets live in a stupidly romantic corny ass world for a moment ok? take my hand.

"I swear on all six seas, if you don't shut the fuck up right now—"

"What?" Sanji looks at him like he's stupid. Nothing new, really.

"Ha, even you're going deaf having to listen to your own annoying ass whining all the time, Cook. I was—"

"No, you—"

"Don't interrupt me! Oi!" he yelps as a wooden spoon bounces harmlessly off his shoulder. He's not impressed that Sanji manages to catch it before it hits the counter.

"You said six seas," Sanji states.

Zoro stares back in lieu of an answer.

"Huh, maybe this has something to do with why you're always lost. There's only five seas, dummy."

And ah, now he gets what the idiot cook is on about. He's surprised and a little disappointed, honestly. You'd think the guy would be a little more aware about his own fucking dream, but whatever. He's got that annoying smile, smug and cocky like he's oh so much better than Zoro.

"Would you like me to count them out for you? I know it's a big number, it's probably confusing for a simple creature like you."

Zoro crosses his arms in clear warning, something the cook, as always, blatantly ignores. He's leaning on the counter that's between them now, eyes sparkling with glee. Idiot. Zoro's thoughts do not have a fond tone to them. Thoughts don't have tones at all, thank you very much.

Sanji lifts a hand and proceeds to count off on his fingers with the precision of a drill sergeant.

"I'm sure you at least know our ocean, the East Blue. There's also the West Blue, North Blue, South Blue, and of course the Grand Line," he wiggles all his fingers as he puts his thumb up for the last one like he's emulating fireworks.

Zoro snorts indelicately. "And?"

Sanji frowns with a tilt of his head.

"And?"

Zoro holds up his index finger.

"And," he says, stifling his amusement as Sanji goes cross eyed trying to follow said finger as it arcs towards him, "your All Blue. Dummy."

He punctuates the last word by poking Sanji in the forehead, snickering when he sputters and swats the digit away in a huff. Then Zoro's words finally sink in, and he straightens up almost too fast. It's not endearing at all.

"Wait," he says quietly, "you count it?"

Zoro doesn't like how Sanji's looking at him with an open expression he's not usually allowed. He looks earnest and sincere. Zoro feels suddenly out of his depth.

"Don't you?" he deflects uncomfortably.

"Well yeah, but that's different. You're—" he shrugs half heartedly and looks away. Zoro can't tell if the end of that sentence was going to disparage him or the cook. Odds are likely split down the middle. Sanji keeps looking at him, and he feels pinned. The bright look is gone, replaced by something more reserved but perhaps...searching? Considering, at the least. It's making him increasingly self conscious. He needs to get out of here.

"Okay. I'm gonna steal some alcohol now," he says shortly, striding to the cabinet and swiping a bottle before Sanji blinks out of his stupor.

[aceysartdump]

[tomwaterbabies]

My Truth is that hugo isnt even that tall. he's not short whatsoever dont get me wrong but unless donella and crew are like weirdly well past 6 ft tall i really dont think he extends past average height. he just happens to be in a group full of shorties. two of which are still growing. and then the other being varian. who is. well. certainly not tall

[dcrlvz]

underrated skit 😪

[lonestar-badash]

The only good one is a dead one.

[immakuronaakuma]

Something that always makes me laugh about dark magical girls is talking about how women are blinded by their hubris and are doomed to die in battle either against some big monster or against each other, but classic magical girls run out fighting gods of evil, spawns of Satan, and Cthulhu Lord of Darkness for good measure and they always come out smiling, victorious, and running back to school with a piece of toast in their mouth the next day.

What do edgy magical girl villains have to show? “Oh we wanna kill people cause we’re so evil”-

There’s an otherworldly space demon that is actively feasting on the negative energy and misery found within the souls of humans in order to free itself from its cosmic prison so it can devour our entire solar system and kill everyone and everything that lives in it, but it and its army of sycophants are currently getting their asses kicked by a gang of 13 year olds in frilly dresses who have a math test tomorrow, you edgy freaks of uncreative nature have thought of NOTHING to top that.

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Istfg I'm getting this tattooed 😭😩 I'm thinking... On my forearm OR along my spine, depending on whether it's just the design or the entire thing

[autisticlancemcclain]

i need you to understand. that any time i draw taller bigger grizzled keith. i curse you in my head. i was gritting my teeth. and posting today. while my eye was twitching. because i am a short king keith truther. but sometimes. sometimes i draw him taller. and i blame you

LMFAO I GOT YOUR ASS

[1800miserablethot]

Johnny as murdoc is almost done chat

[baltears]

turns out i am indeed capable of having a pretty good evening

[nerianasims]

"Ugh, it was awful."

"Brandi, what did that headmaster asshole do to you?"

"He has a tickle fetish."

"A... what?"

"His wife's not into it, but tickling is the only thing that really gets him going. And it took for flippin' ever to get him going. Which I wouldn't mind, most of the time, but he's such a snobbish jerk that the whole thing was just obnoxious."

"Brandi... you know, I'm doing pretty well now. I could... well, take care of you."

"And three college-bound kids?"

"Um, well, maybe not just yet, but --"

"Even if your answer was 'yes', I'd say no, Don. I want to be able to take care of myself and the boys. I was totally dependent on a man once, and you know how that worked out."

"I don't plan to die any time soon."

"Neither did Skip."

"Not to malign the dead, but, um..."

"He was a criminal, and not very good at it. I know. But I'm not going to budge on this."

[metaforth]

Can we just fucking cut it with the anti-therapy shit here? Its not only deeply ignorant, but it's dangerous. Discouraging people from trying things to improve their mental health is a great way to prevent their mental health from improving. If you've been considering trying therapy I would greatly encourage you to give it a chance. Whether it's online, in person, or even over text which I've heard is an option now which is great for people who struggle with face to face communication of any kind.

The response to people claiming everybody needs therapy and therapy will cure all of your problems isn't a hard pivot in the other direction. Therapy works for certain people, because everyone is different. Truth is problems like depression are a vague set of commonly associated behaviors, what's actually going on in different people's brains isn't nearly as easy to map. I personally know people who consider their therapist to have saved their life, and I myself tried therapy multiple times and it's had no effect. I don't blame my therapist, I didn't work for me because it just wasn't for me and that isn't anyone's fault.

And fucking especially don't be actively antagonistic toward your therapist. I hate stories like "my therapist told me to draw what I feel and I decided to just start eating the notebook to see how he'd react and he didn't know what to do lol." If you aren't cooperating then therapy won't fucking work. They aren't wizards who cast magical mental health engoodening spells, they're specialists who's job is to help you figure out what's going on in your head and figure out ways to improve your mental state. They aren't psychics. They can't read your mind. You need to be transparent.

If you can't figure out what to draw, or how to put your feelings into words, or whatever they're asking, just fucking tell them that. The entire point of therapy is having someone to communicate with, many people become licensed therapists because they themselves went through these problems and want to help others find a way through them. I'm sick and tired of Tumblr insisting all therapists are bad because they had a bad experience with therapy 10 years ago and think all therapists act like the paid actors in better help commercials.

Also, just to end, did you go to a mental health professional who specializes in the conditions you're suffering from, or did you type therapy into Google and call the first number you saw? I promise you finding the right therapist may actually make a difference. It might not. As I said, therapy just didn't work for me after I went to multiple different therapists, but I didn't write off the practice. Just like I don't write off anti-depressants, or mediation, or aroma therapy, ECT, the human brain is a complicated puzzle and we all must find a solution that works for us.

The last thing we need to be doing is telling someone not to look where they may find a missing piece.

[neechees]

Ughhh why is it everytime my sisters abusive ex comes over he ends up over staying his welcome why the fuck are you still in my house

[stabknives]

I Have Covid.

[puppet-strung-moon]

[Mod’s reaction to Lord Eclipse’s Death being spoiled]