#Brandon dicamillo x reader

[jackassbrainrot]

Cky hcs as subs

a/n: thinking so hard meow let me fuck 'em, also added both male and female options because there's just not enough male reader shit out there

bam

He's the brattiest little bastard, mouthing off, teasing, doing everything to annoy you, but as soon as you snap, he's so obedient. He's such a masochist, loves it when you put him in his place, slap him, pull his hair, choke him, push him around. And he's loud. You have to keep his mouth full or covered with your hand because he can't control himself, poor baby. If you edge him, he will absolutely cry and beg for you to let him cum. He will cum instantly if you call him pathetic for crying. Loves getting called a slut, especially if you call him your slut. He's a bit of a pillow princess and he will absolutely make you spoil him after sex.

dico

Also a brat but an untameable one. He'll literally laugh in your face when you try to intimidate him and is the type of guy to go "that's all you got?" when you try to punish him. Sex with him is like a fight, he won't submit and you won't let him be in charge. He gets off on winding you up and he'd never admit but he loves when you get bossy. He'll always do what you say, but in his roundabout way to make himself feel in control. The most begging you'll ever get out of him is a desperate "c'mon please" if you're not letting him cum. Smug smile whenever he makes you cum but will be an absolute mess when he cums.

raab

Oh my god he's such a good boy. And he loves it when you call him that. Loves praise in general and will do anything to get it. Will absolutely call you mommy/ma'am/daddy/sir. "Am I doing good?" if you haven't praised him for what he deems to be too long. He's not really into pain, maybe some light hair pulling and choking but nothing too extreme. Loves it when you mark him up, especially if it's hard to hide. Melts at pet names and being called yours. Not really loud but very vocal, a lot of "please I've been good" and "all yours" and "you feel so good". Just the absolute sweetest boy.

rake

He'll do literally everything to please you. Eating you out/sucking your dick is his favorite thing to do, that man worships you. Will do anything you tell him to. Not really into the classic dom/sub terms like mommy, daddy, good boy etc etc. Loves praise but more in the way of you moaning and telling him he's making you feel so good than the way raab is into it. Not too into pain other than getting his hair pulled, especially during oral. Also really into casual dominance like when you tell him what to wear or choosing where you're going on a date.

ryan

Similarly to Rake, he's so into pleasing you. Always listens and does whatever you tell him to. Loves it when you make him wait, holding off on touching his dick or fucking him. Calls you ma'am/sir. He asks before he does anything, he's so polite it's adorable. "Can I please touch you, ma'am?" type shit. Loves it when you scratch his back or dig your nails into his arms or hips. Needs to be close to you when he cums. Babbling a million thank you's after he cums. Addicted to kissing every part of you, his mouth is on your neck the whole time you're fucking.

[vivaladicamillo]

im having dico brain rot so bad someone shoot me

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

CKY boys helping you dye your hair head cannons

INBOX IS OPEN MY DARLINGS

Bam

"oh your dying your hair your favorite color? no babe your dying it mine"

be prepared to have purple hair

he absolutely will dye his hair the same color to match you

hes very good at pointing out the spots you missed

he supersizing is very well behaved when you dye your hair

however not so much when you two clean up. if your wiping up hair dye from the counter or floor he will take the towel out of your hands and throw it at you.

Dico

"Jesues you look like a higlighter!"

He will pick out the most brightest sickest color for you.

he will absolutely refuse to help you

"you want me to dye my hair? what hair I'm balding!"

get him a matching wig

Rake

"you know the chemicals in that are horible for you right?"

this man isn't against you dyeing your hair but the whole time be propared to get a scientific explanation of how hair dye works

hates the smell of it

he watches you from afar when you dye your hair

he mostly stays far away because knowing you he expects you to try and throw it in his hair

Novak

"oh cool"

hes useless

he wont help

only time he trys and gets your color he comes back with a puck green

a lot of the time bam ends up paying him to match with you.

Raab

"I can help!"

this sweet boy is trying his best to help but he fails drasticly

he spills the dye and steps on it leaving colored foot prints all over the place.

want him to help you wash it out? hrd gonna spray you in the face like 3 times.

also get your hair tangeld

Ryan

"hold my beer"

oddly he's very skilled

he does everything for you

he wont let you dye his hair but he's open to dyeing his beard

wont help you wash it out. refuses to go close to the shower.

[broidobe]

𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔬 𝔵 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩 𝔳𝔬𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

ahhhh my first request!!! thank you anon!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

ryan is y/n's cousin btw!!

⁎⁺˳✧༚jackass masterlist

"dude can you hurry it up, i gotta be outta here soon" i yelled across the room to finn, who was tuning his guitar

"what you gotta date to be at?" he yelled back, to which i smirked.

"yeah so what if i do, this should’ve been over a while ago. and plus, ryan’s picking me up"

finn rolled his eyes and stood up. he walked over to a seat beside me and sat with his legs crossed.

"i think there comes a time where this band needs to be first for y-"

"HELLO HURRY UP GET OUT HERE" screamed ryan as he pounded on the door.

i popped out of my chair, grabbed my coat and ran out of there as fast as i could. no one likes confrontation, especially not me.

"heyyyy y/nnn say hi to the camera!" ryan smirked, holding his stupid signature disposable camera.

"hi camera" i waved as we walked to his ancient bmw that he refused to get rid of.

"it adds character and chicks dig it" so he says.

"when the hell is your car going to be ready?"

"how badly do you want to get rid of me? you’ve asked this since my car went in."

ryan rolled his eyes and started up the car.

we sat in silence for a while, listening to static radio because, once again, his car is too old to have a working radio.

"sooo uhhhh, how was practice..?"

"it was fine, my throat kinda hurts. i’ve been busy."

"yeahhh dudeeeee rock onnnnnn" ryan said in the surfer dude voice, holding up his devil horns.

"wanna know what i did yesterday after i dropped you off once again? i shoved a dinky car up my ass."

"you what?!"

"shoved a car up my ass."

"jesus christ how low are you guys on ideas?"

ryan laughed and pulled into dico’s driveway.

bam and raab were sitting on the front porch as we stepped out of the car.

"D-DOG SHE’S HERE" bam cried, waving at me.

dico ran out of the door and up to me, kissing my cheek.

"heyyyy babeee."

"hi d-dog" i giggled.

he grabbed my hand and we went inside to the kitchen. the other boys followed like shadows.

dico pulled out a chair for me at the kitchen table, his usual grin plastered across his face. "so, babe, you gonna tell us what you've been up to, or are you gonna keep us in suspense all night?" he teased, leaning on the back of my chair.

i rolled my eyes, resting my chin on my palm. "same old. band practice. finn being finn. ryan being... ryan."

ryan, who was busy rummaging through the fridge for a snack, looked up with mock offense. "hey! don't act like you don't love my company. i'm the highlight of your day."

"right," i said, deadpan, though i couldn't help the smirk tugging at my lips.

raab slid into the chair across from me and propped his feet on the table, earning a glare from dico. "you should ditch the band and join our crew full-time. think of the chaos we could unleash with you on board."

bam cackled from his spot leaning against the counter. "yeah, you'd fit right in. we're already halfway to corrupting you."

i raised an eyebrow at him. "what makes you think i’m not the one corrupting you?"

this earned a collective "ooooh!" from the guys, and dico squeezed my shoulder, grinning. "she's got a point, you know. she's the brains behind the operation. i'm just the pretty face."

"pretty face my ass," raab muttered, earning a playful smack on the back of the head from dico.

before i could respond, bam clapped his hands together. "alright, enough chit-chat. we’ve got a mission tonight."

"a mission?" i asked, already regretting my decision to come along.

dico nodded enthusiastically. "yeah, we're sneaking into the old mall on fifth. there's a rumor it’s haunted, and bam thinks he can prove it."

"correction," bam interjected, "i know i can prove it. and if it’s not haunted, we’ll make it haunted."

"that sounds like a terrible idea," i said, though the mischievous glint in my eyes probably gave me away.

ryan slammed the fridge door shut and tossed me a soda. "terrible ideas are kinda our thing. welcome to the club."

"no shit dude" i grinned.

dico grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the chair. "come on, babe. it'll be fun. and if we run into ghosts, you can use your rockstar voice to scare 'em off."

i sighed dramatically, but i was already halfway to the door. "fine. but if i die, i’m haunting all of you."

bam pumped his fist in the air. "that's the spirit! literally!"

"aha, you're a funny one."

as we piled into the cars—dico driving this time because ryan’s ancient bmw was questionable at best—i couldn’t help but laugh. i wouldn’t have it any other way.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

I’d love to request a fake dating fic with Dico where the reader tries to make Bam jealous by fake dating Dico but falls for him in the process

Jealousy

Y/N hatches a plan to get back at Bam, and they know just the person to go along with it.

Brandon DiCamillo X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, fake dating, jealousy, public displays of affection, finger sucking, injury, violence

The idea was childish, but you were past handling this maturely. Funnily enough, the whole situation began with you falling for Bam. For the first few months you hung out with him and his friends, it was like you got cartoon heart eyes every time he walked in the room, and with the way he acted around you, there was no way he didn’t notice. In fact, he found your little crush on him hilarious and had no qualms about using it to mess with you. One minute he’d be playing all sweet, sorta playfully joking and flirting with you, and the next you’d be the target of whatever awful prank he had in mind. You tolerated it for a month or two, assuming it was maybe his weird little way of showing love, but it really started to get on your nerves, especially with the way he kept skirting around confirming or denying if he was interested in you in the first place. That’s how you got the idea.

The only one of Bam’s friends you knew would go along with this was Dico, so it was him who you called that night. Lying on top of your comforter, you perked up when he answered his phone, “Hey, dude!” You started, rolling over onto your back, “I got this great plan to fuck with Bam.” Not only would he do anything for the sake of a joke, you were willing to bet he had some beef against the guy too. The line was quiet before Bran spoke up, “Say no more- I’m in.” You went on to tell him about what had been going on between you and Bam, and how you thought the one thing to make him come to his senses and give you an answer would be seeing you with another guy, whether that meant Bam would be throwing himself at your feet and confessing his love for you or telling you to fuck off. “Oh, that’s perfect! He’s such a jealous ass- there’s no way this can’t work.”

After you and him spent the whole night discussing gross couples stuff you could do in his line of sight, you decided to implement step one of your plan to piss Bam off that weekend. Since it was summer, you and the guys would usually spend the weekends at FDR skatepark, even if the only ones who really skated were Bam and Novak. Still, hanging out under Interstate 95 was a good way to stay cool after someone, not naming names, ‘accidently’ put a hole in the Margera’s above ground pool that duct tape couldn’t fix. You know how there’s always a guy grilling at FDR? Well today Dico was that guy, cooking the burgers Ryan brought on a little red camping grill, his look complete with one of those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons.

Bam couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you snuggling close to, of all people, Dico. His arm held you close to his body and you giggled all cute to make it seem like you were laughing at something just out of Bam’s earshot. Did he fall into the Twilight Zone, or was he just so drunk that he was seeing things? Maybe it was some sort of heat exhaustion hallucination, because there was no way in hell this was actually happening. Given how easy he wa sto read,Bam’s gawking at the two of you was impossible to ignore, and once the two of you were satisfied with the reaction you were eliciting, you decided to kick it up a notch. You gave him the cue and Bran grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the concrete with a snicker, popping open the cap and squirting some onto his fingers, holding it up to your lips like he was giving you a taste of what he was cooking. It was his idea for you to suck it off of his fingers, actually, sort of inspired by his Julia Childish bit he did for Don’t Feed Phill, and you really gave it your all, really licking and sucking at his digits until your lips popped off with a noise that echoed off the concrete that was second only to the sound of Bam’s jaw dropping.

The next thing you heard was this blunt packing noise and a, “Fuck!” Turning towards the commotion, you found Bam flat on his back, his board about twenty feet from him. Like a good best friend, Ryan was already jumping into the bowl to check on him. Peering over his sprawled out body, he held out a hand to help him up, “Shit dude…You alright?” Sitting up, Bam wobbled to his feet, rubbing the sore back of his head and brushing off the throbbing pain in his left arm, “Yeah. Just, uh- just ate shit. I’ll be fine.” The way he pretended to be so nonchalant was really quite satisfying to you and you couldn’t help but smirking a little. See, now would be the time for him to start hallucinating one of his bros getting fresh with you, after the head trauma, but no! Satisfied with your work, you and Dico sat back in half-broken lawn chairs Raab brought and ate your burgers, exchanging knowing glances between bites.

The next step of the plan was put into play in Bam’s basement while everyone was busy with his home arcade setup. You stood next to Dico, curiously peering at the match he was playing in Mortal Kombat with one arm around you, holding you close as you watched with big eyes as he executed a pretty impressive combo with Sub-Zero. All the other guys were too busy tapping away at their own games to notice anything was amiss- that is, except Bam, who was sitting on the couch with his left arm in a sling, glaring daggers at the two of you while Ryan, who sat on the other end of the couch, was filling him in about his ex girlfriend’s fancy new implants she paid for with lawsuit money, “I mean, I paid for those and I don’t even get to touch em’! Total bullshit.” Ignoring him, Bam gestured over to the bulgur display in front of him, keeping his voice quiet, “Hey, Ry. The fuck’s going on there? Those two’ve been hangin’ all over each other lately.” He didn’t seem to be as concerned with the very mild pda, and, unsatisfied with his lack of reaction Bam continued on his rant, “I’m just sayin- She’s all over for me for months, following me around like a puppy dog, and next thing I know, she’s dating Dico?” The way you giggled when his best friend leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek made his blood boil.

Ryan chuckled, bringing his beer to his lips, “Sounds like you’re a bit jealous. Should’ve fucked her while y’had the chance” Despite how obvious his jealousy was, Bam was very eager to deny it, “nah, nah- it’s not like that. You don’t get it.” Snickering, Ry playfully smacked him on the arm, “Yeah, I get it. You’re not sure if you want her or not but you certainly don’t want your buddy over there to have her.” Shooting a glance over to you and Bran all snuggled up in a scene straight out of a hallmark card, Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh, fuck you. Why’d I even talk to you about this anyhow…”

Bam decided to just come out and ask Dico about it, pulling him aside as everyone was getting ready to head out the door, “Hey, dude, what’s, uh- what’s goin’ on between you and Y/N?” Still pulling on his coat, he was obnoxiously nonchalant in reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” He tugged the bottom of his jacket down, “I just think they’re really cool and nice and funny, you know?” You said nothing. Thank god he and you had planned for this exact scenario- you really made sure you thought of everything. Still, Bam eyed you and him with suspicion, trailing after the two of you, “Oh, alright- yeah. I mean, is that it?” Pausing in the doorway, Bran turned back with a smirk to deliver the finishing blow to his ego, “Yeah. What’ re you, like- jealous or somethin’?”

After all this, the final straw was that night you all went out to the bar together, and if Bam thought he felt like a third wheel before, he really did now. Every time Dico played with your hair or made you laugh at another one of his stupid jokes, he felt the urge to reach over the bar and stab two little cocktail stirrers into his eyes. It’d keep him from staring at you like that, that’s for sure- like you were his. But he kept to himself, quietly seething in his little brooding bubble. It was a scene straight out of the discovery channel, with the two lions fighting over a wildebeest- no, a gazelle, because they’re prettier. Bam wondered what on earth was someone as hot as you doing with Dico? The two glared at each other over your head and you swear you saw his eye twitch when Bran flashed that shit eating grin when he ordered you a drink. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there.

Part of you found the thought of being fought over by two guys kind of romantic, especially given who was fighting over you. Sure, this was all a bid to get Bam’s attention, but over the course of your little experiment, you had actually been growing closer to Dico. There was something so endearing and cute about his antics that you just couldn’t ignore, and even when you weren't trying to make Bam jealous, it sorta felt natural to hang out with each other more, and maybe you struggled to keep your hands off of each other from time to time but that didn’t mean anything, right? Hell, it was Dico's arm that still sat wrapped around your waist when out of nowhere, Bam suddenly grabbed you in a flash of anger and passion and pulled you into a kiss- one of those really needy, territorial, Jack Danniel’s tinged ones- like a soldier back from war. Surprised as you were, Bran chuckled at the scene in front of him, “Woah! Easy there, cowboy…” When he finally pulled away, you were left in a daze, a pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you finally got what you wanted.

Or you got what you thought you wanted, as you realized a few weeks into you officially dating Bam. For a while, it was everything you dreamed of, all late night sports car rides and rock concert dates with your big celebrity boyfriend. But when your car broke down in the dead of winter and he was the first person you called, all you got back was a voicemail, “Hey. S’Bam. Leave it after the beep.” After the third one you gave up on trying to appeal towards him and just hung up. Shivering from the cold that was slowly creeping in, your stiff fingers finally punched in Dico’s number as a last ditch effort. One ring, two rings, click. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” You were never happier to hear his voice, and a relieved smile spread across your face as you sighed, “Oh my god…my, uh- my car broke down- like, half an hour ago. Are you busy right now?” Breathing puffs of smoke onto your hands to keep them warm, you could hear the sounds of him pulling his jacket on. “Nah, just hangin’ out at Bam’s. I’ll be there in five.” So Bam wasn't that busy. Blinking hard, you made a mental note that he was totally dead later before hanging up.

It was as if a wave of relief washed over when you saw Dico’s beater car pull around the corner. Since the day he picked that thing up from the junkyard, you teased him about how he was on tv and still getting seen in the kinda car a divorced dad would drive, but you were never happier to dive into that hunk of junk (through the window, because the passenger side door was stuck). Warming your frigid hands by the half working vent, you shuddered, “Oh, you are a lifesaver!” Smiling, he shifted the car into gear while you buckled your seatbelt. “Hey, any time! I’ll always be there for you, man.” A little glimmer hit your eye at his promise and you could swear your heart was going to flutter out of your chest, “Always?”

“Yeah.”

[welcometojackass2022]

daring Dico to prank call someone WHILE you’re sucking his dick, and he has to try not to make it obvious to the victim of the prank that he’s getting sucked off. just a new idea I had if anyone wants me to write it…

[kunntzsstuff]

🤲 dating johnny knoxville 🤲

[1800miserablethot]

I’ve seen others make these head cannons and I was looking at your page and it made me think about what your head cannons would be for the jackass crew/ Viva La Bam. Like what would they do if they saw someone flirting with you, or what they would be into, etc XD

Stop because I think of this shit ALL the time

First, we have to obviously start with Bam.

Bam just like all the other fanfics he is the sub. How this man acted on Viva La Bam gives clear sub vibes. I don't even know where to begin tbh, but I do know one this is for sure he wants ALL of your attention. Have it be you're watching him do a stunt or a prank or whatever, he would drag you along everywhere just like he did Ryan.

Starting off sweet he would secretly be a cuddler, when it’s finally quiet at night (though it never is on that show) he would be curled up against you like a damn cat just sleeping away. I feel like he would constantly kiss you until he falls asleep, lazy sweet ones. He’s a nuzzler for sure, his face is always in your neck or hair.

During the daytime again he's an attention whore, where ever he is you're most likely next to him. If he gets hurt during a stunt you're the first one to him, or you’re the first one he wants by his side. Now if you get hurt then the stunts are over, he's cussing out everyone and anything that's in his way of you. You would have to calm him down afterward because he can't bear the thought of losing you or even seeing you hurt.

Jealousy, he would get very possessive. But not in a dom way, he would probably cuddle against you, start kissing your neck, or try to drag you off, etc to gain your attention back to him. He would jump into the convo and talk about himself a lot but not in a cocky way, but in a take, a hint [Y/N] is mine type of way and try to bore said person of the convo in hopes they leave.

He's a brat so he's going to do anything and everything to push your buttons. Have it be from talking back at you, doing stunts you said no to, flirting with others a bit/ letting others get touchy at like fan meets, etc (but god forbid someone gets touchy with you) especially by always flashing his navel tattoo on his lower hips. But when it comes to the bedroom/ punishment oh that bratty attitude turns into a good boy one REAL quickly. He's practically begging for forgiveness before you two even start, but you don't fall for it. By the end of the night, he's most likely going to be hoarse in the voice from screaming out your name and pleading/ begging. When he's a brat for punishment you edge him multiple times/hours until even your fingertip against his leaking cock has him sobbing and almost blowing his load. If you two are in public though you take him to a hidden area and have him get on his knees and finish you off but you don't allow him to finish so he's walking around all day with a raging one. Or perhaps if he's been REALLY bad you have him grind against your foot or leg like a dog because 99% of the time that's what he acts like lol. By the time you finally let him finish against your leg/foot his pants/boxers are already soaked with precum etc from holding back for so long. And when he does finish he has the prettiest face, I mean mouth is open, tongue out, eyes rolling and closing (unless you make him look at you while he cums) again he's a dog.

ALSO, I'll die on the hill of Bam loves when you mark him on his stomach and navel where his tattoo is so he can flaunt the marks off.

Ryan Dunn (my second hubby)

Start off sweet: Ryan is touchy af (I mean just go watch vids of him and or pictures) He’s always got an arm around you, holding your hand, kissing you, etc. He's not shy and if someone tries to hate or tease depending on who they are he either tells them to fuck off or he’s about to beat their face in. When you too are alone I feel like he would be a cuddler too but he would be the big spoon, but he loves to have your hands in his hair. (if his friends found out he's fighting for his life in the GC) again he loves kisses and affection, he's a big softy.

Jealousy wise if he sees someone flirting with you he does the opposite of Bam, he goes straight up to them and tells them to fuck off. Sometimes he has fun with them and plays along like “Yeah he really is hot huh?” and then the person would be like “Yeah wouldn't mind tapping that” and Ryan would reply “Same, that’s why I do every night” or something like that. He's very protective of you in every shape way and form. He's the one who’s stopping you from doing stunts he thinks are too dangerous.

Bedroom wise he's on top, (I feel like his favorite position is doggy because Mall of Bam just explains it) I can't picture him being bottom unless he tops from bottom but then again he's not full-on bottoming. (he thinks it’ll hurt so he's a pussy and doesn't want to try but if you put your mind to it you probably could convince him) When your “on top” it's you two grinding against each other and you talking good to him while in a heavy make-out session which has him breathy and moaning quietly while he nods and agrees to what you're saying until he has enough and flips y'alls position. During certain activities, he praises you while degrading you but not too harshly other wise he’ll end up feeling bad lol. Let's say you do convince him to “bottom” it's probably you giving him a bj and he's begging you softly to let him finish. Because you don't get him like that often so you take full advantage, (though a dirty fantasy is having him fully submit to you one day)

Chris Raab Himself

Chris would be so chill like he has 100% trust in you, if someone tries to flirt with you he’ll make a joke and be like “Yo dude I had [Y/N] first!” and you too would laugh, he loves hugging you and just randomly grabbing your face to plant one on you. He's not very affectionate but that's because he doesn't know how to lol but he tries (he was the type of kid to bring you a frog because he thought you’d like it) if you wipe out on a stunt or get hurt he’ll help you up and laugh while asking if you're okay but if he sees that you're truly hurting he’ll start to panic a bit.

He doesn't really get jealous he’ll just laugh and probably encourage the person who's trying to flirt with you because he finds it funny.

In the bedroom he is not the top I mean he's small af and how he acts does not give top vibes like he has sm bbg energy it makes me sick. He may not be as loud as bam would be but he does whimper and beg I can tell you that, I feel like he's the type of person to finish early but I also feel like he's the type to cum multiple times. So you’ll tease him seeing how many times you could make him. I feel like he wouldn't be a cuddler (or if he was he wouldn't admit it) but when y'all do he tries to big spoon but obviously that doesn't happen lol, he's very sweet though and gives lots of hugs and kisses to your cheek.

I also think he's vanilla af, but only because he hasn't tried kinkier things so that could be fun to see what he likes

Dico

He's just like a regular guy like idk how to explain lol. He's not kinky at all, he’ll like a heavy make-out session though.

He won't get jealous he's kinda like Raab hell both of them probably would be laughing. He's always joking, but when you two are alone and nothing chaotic is happening you two just lay in bed and talk, little bit of cuddling yk but not too much. I really don't have much more because I see him more as a friend.

[jackasswhre]

literally my all time favorite pictures that i will never ever get over ❤️

also johnny knoxville and norman reedus is the coolest dilf duo out there!!!!

and that picture of rake and dico is just burned into my brain oml

[cielie-voss]

This is so good and sweet and funny! 😍 Can't wait for a part two! Please tag me in case you post it!

First of all, I really love your writings! Especially as an ace I really appreciate that your writing isn't smut. 💕

Second: I'd like to request something, but it's absolutely ok if you don't want to write it. I saw one of these TikToks where it's like "how blabla would react if they walk into your room while you're changing" and I thought this would be a funny little head Canon thing for the jackass and/or cky guys.

Have a nice day!

Thank you! I really appreciate that you like my writing and I’m glad that you like reading them! I hope you like these headcanons! Also I’ll do a Jackass version of this same headcanon if you guys want it. :]

[CKY x GN! Reader]

How the boys would react if they walked in on you changing.

Bam Margera- He would barge into your room while rambling on about something absolutely stupid. He didn’t even realize you were changing until you said something about it, he shrugged and sat down on your bed, messing around with your stuff as he continued to talk on and on. He knows nothing about personal space and boundaries.

Ryan Dunn- He would walk in and see you, immediately closing/ covering his eyes. He’d blindly walk back towards the door, bumping into stuff on his way out as he did so. The whole times he’s basically screaming as he’s apologizing to you. Once he’s finally out of your room he’d stand outside your door, still apologizing.

Rake Yohn- He would knock on your door and not wait for your answer. He just gave you a warning so you could cover up. He’d peek his head in, tell you something, look around for a bit and then close the door as if nothing happened.

Brandon DiCamillo- Like Bam he would walk in totally distracted about something. Once he realized you were changing he’d cover his eyes and turn around. He’d stay in your room, continuing to talk to you as you changed.

Chris Raab/ Raab Himself- He wouldn’t walk in. Raab would just scream at you through the door and wait until you opened it for him. If he did walk in though, he’d just look at you, pause, then turn back around and leave while screaming for you to lock the door next time.

[cvmsterfire]

should’ve been me 😔😒

[jackassbrainrot]

head in the game [dico x gn!reader]

desc: you know that whole sucking someone's dick while they play video games? yeah that with dico

a/n: so very selfindulgent, like every fic I write that isn't a request (and sometimes even those are selfindulgent). I imagine this as more of a fwb situation than a relationship but you do you!

warnings: oral m!receiving, swearing, objectification (sorta?), calls reader a slut once, dico's just kind of mean in this one

word count: 564

You watch Dico sitting on the couch with a controller in his hands, eyes glued to the television screen. He's been in that same position for hours, not moving a muscle aside from the fingers mashing buttons in sequences that seemed random to everyone but him.

After hours of watching him play, your bored thought spiral into an idea you couldn't resist. You walk over to the couch, his gaze piercing through you as you obscure his vision for a moment before dropping to your knees in front of him. He looks down at you with a cocked eyebrow when your hands reach to unbuckle his belt, before turning his attention back to the game, a slight smile on his face.

Pulling his dick out of his pants, you spit in your hand before stroking it slowly, hearing his breath hitch. You continue your teasing, kissing the tip and licking the shaft with little kitten licks. His breathing gets deeper, trying to stay focused despite your touches.

Not satisfied with his reactions, you decide to take him into your mouth, sinking down until your nose was touching his pelvis. A low groan leaves his throat, eyes rolling back before looking back at the tv, not sparing you a glance. Two can play this game, you think to yourself. setting an unrelenting pace. You revel in the noises he's trying to hold back.

"If I lose this round because of you, you're fucking dead." He grits through his teeth, still not looking at you, and you smile as much as the cock in your mouth allows, keeping the same pace as before. His words only egg you on, your head bobbing up and down quickly, spit spilling from your stretched lips, making lewd wet noises. You feel his body tighten, and he cums in your mouth with a growl.

As you go to lift your head from his lap, you feel his hand keeping you in place. You make a confused noise, your mouth still full, making him smile cruelly down at you. "You didn't listen and now you're going to stay right where you are until I beat this shit." His words go straight to your crotch as you swallow around him. "And don't fucking move."

So you kneel there, keeping his dick warm in your mouth as he keeps playing. Your knees and jaw go sore but the stretch of your lips as he slowly hardens makes you whine with pleasure. He chuckles, thrusting into your mouth without warning, making you gag. You look up at him with wide eyes but his gaze is glued to the screen, acting like nothing has happened.

You don't even know how long you've been in that position before he puts the controller down, finally turning his attention to you. His hands grip the sides of your head, keeping you in place as he fucks your mouth without any care for your gagging or the spit and tears running down your face and neck. He pulls out of your mouth, one hand holding your head in place and the other jerking him off before white ropes fall onto your tear stained face.

"Think that's enough attention for you, slut?" He asks, putting his dick back into his pants and walking to the bathroom, leaving you desperate and horny on the floor, face dripping with cum and tears.

[vivaladicamillo]

i feel like im going insane i js went back to all the cky movies and screenrecorded all of dicos parts………

blastazoid im coming for u next 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

London After Midnight CKY crew x Fem!reader

Warnings: bit of "suggestive" mentions of adult content and grass AKA weed

INBOX OPEN FOR REQUEST

Words: 1,215

London was quite a beautiful place. It was large with beautiful architecture. But of course you and the boys were destined to destroy it.

You, Bam, Ryan, Dico, Rabb and Rake all were shacked up in a small cheap rundown cottage. Bam stood by an open window with some type of melon in his hands. “Dude! What are you doing?” Ryan asked, “waiting for a victim.” Bam Declared. Isn't that just nice. “Oh dude look somebody's coming drop it! Drop It!” Dico edged on and right as the person walked under the window Bam dropped the Melon. And you only made it close enough to the window in time to see the aftermath of it. The person underneath freaked out and was cursing out Bam and Dico. “Man we have been here for not even a day! Don't get us kicked out of the goddamn country!” Ryan screamed at Bam. This week is going to be killer.

Midnight. You all decided to go out to a bar, well “pub” as the Londoners called it. But thanks to Dico doing his mocking accent you were all thrown out rather violently. But that's not going to stop any of you.

Bam was on his skateboard doing tricks as we followed his lead. It was painfully late in the morning now and chaos had just begun to brew. You all shortly arrived at a new hotel because someone - Bam to be exact got you all kicked out of the last. You can only wonder how long this one would last. And guessing by the current events maybe 12 hours at the most.

You and Bam were now skating in the hotel's hallways looking for Rabbs' room. You two had come up with a plan to prank every one. Finding his room you slowly opened his door. Rabb was curled into a ball snuggling up to his pillows holding onto it as if it was a person. Damn, that's sad - relatable but sad. Bam made his way into the bathroom and scooped up a cup of toilet water. you stood by with the camera in your hands. “Dude, the water had piss in it! This is gonna be great!” “This is going to be gross.” you corrected “you filmin?” Bam whispered; you nodded at him. “I'm Bam and this is the potty mouth.” “the potty mouth?” “It's a working title!” Bam explained “anyway - I'm Bam and this is the potty mouth!  he whispered, he crouched down to Rabb slowly opening his mouth and dumping the cup into his mouth. Rabb awoke with a gasp inhaling the piss water.  you and Bam jumped up into the air with laughter “What the fuck?” Rabb Coughed out as you and Bam ran down the hall to Dico’s room. 

You and Bam had a rather helpful prank for Dico in your eyes. you see Dico has started balding at a rather young age. So you and Bam thought you would help him out a bit. “Bam take the camera.” you directed. Bam took the camera away from you and silently you walked into the room's kitchen and found a pair of scissors; walking back to Bam and Dico as Bam was getting close up shots of Dico’s sleeping face and balding head. Slowly you kneeled down next to the both of them and Bam pointed the camera at you. “Hi, I'm Y/N and this is midnight barbers.” You announced and started to clip Dico’s hair and Bam put out his hand to grab  it and put it into a small plastic bag that smelled faintly of weed. “Oh yeah this is fantastic!” Bam exclaimed 

After cutting Dico’s hair and learning that he was a surprisingly heavily sleeper it was off to Ryan's room for the both of you, but that needed to wait. You went back to your room and grabbed some tape and some green hair dye. “Y/N let's get this show on the road!” Bam yelled, shoving the camera in your face. “alright!” you told him and walked away but turned around suddenly and hit Bam in the stomach. “Ow, you bitch!” he said, doubling over in pain as you laugh. “That's pay back.” “for what?” “you know what.” you informed.

After fighting with Bam for a few minutes that left you with a soon to be an absolutely haggard bruise on your thigh in the next few hours. You two finally got to Ryan's room. You took the camera from Bam to film him. He took the bag of Dico’s hair out of his back pocket. “Im Bam and this is mustachio.” he said as you passed him the tape. He got down on his knees and pulled out a few strands of Dico’s hair, putting tape on it and sticking it onto Ryan's face. Ryan twitched a few times that made both you and Bam jump. Finally yall had Ryans face covered to make it look like he had a beard. “That looks horrible.” you say to Bam:  it's not that Ryan looks bad with a beard it was the fact that Ryan's hair was blond and Dico’s hair was almost black. “It could be worse, it could always be worse.” Bam said, turning on his heel and walking away eager to get to your last victim.

“Hey, do you got gloves for this?” Bam asked as you were  walking to Rake's room. “Absolutely not and you're doing it. I'm not turning into the wicked witch of the west today. “ you retorted. 

Finally you got to Rake’s room. He’d gotten a room at the other side of the hotel. He was probably trying to get away from everybody's hijinks. But it was Bam there was no escaping him. The only way you got out of it was to help him. Once you got into the door you didn’t find Rake in bed but on the couch sleeping sitting up. “Perfect, he's just in the position I want him in.” Bam whispers, putting the camera on the table. “That sounds gay.” you committed but he just ignored it. “I'm Bam and this is the mad scientist” you rolled your eyes at that. Given the fact Rake hangs out with you and the Jackass guys it was common to forget that he was an actual scientist. Bam took out the electric green hair dye and started to coat Rake’s hair in it. It was mostly patchy and uneven. But it's gonna be great in the end. “Wait Bam how are we going to wash this out?” you asked as Bam got up and whipped his hands on his pants. “That is not are problem anymore; Y/N look! It looks like I fisted a goblin!” He said, shoving his hands into your face. 

It was around 4 in the morning now. You and Bam were sharing a room so you two could come up with your plans. You were laying down comfortably now nursing a warm beer you found laying around the room. Without warning Bam came running out of the shower and  jumped up onto the bed making you spill the beer “Bam!” you yelled all he did was smile. “Thanks for helping tonight.” Bam said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into a side hug.

[broidobe]

𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔥

requested! i really suggest you read the imagine about dico dating a metal vocalist because this is like an add on to this!

⁎⁺˳✧༚jackass masterlist

the ache of missing him had been gnawing at you for weeks. tour life was exhilarating, sure, but the thrill of the stage paled in comparison to the warmth of brandon’s arms. your calls and texts had turned into lifelines—his jokes, his laughter, even his grumbles about missing you were the only things keeping you sane. but tonight, you were finally back.

as you stepped through the door of your shared apartment, your suitcase forgotten by the entryway, brandon’s presence filled the space like a balm. he was leaning against the kitchen counter, his phone in hand, but the second he saw you, his face lit up with a smile so genuine it made your chest tighten.

“there’s my girl,” he said, crossing the room in a few long strides to pull you into his arms. his familiar scent enveloped you—a mix of cedarwood and something uniquely him. “missed the hell outta you.”

“missed you more,” you murmured against his chest, clinging to him like he might disappear.

his hands wandered, one resting on your back while the other slipped down to cup your ass, pulling you even closer. “prove it,” he teased, his voice low and laced with that playful edge you’d been craving.

you tilted your head up to meet his gaze, a slow smirk playing on your lips. “oh, i plan to.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the bedroom was dimly lit, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting long shadows across the walls. you straddled him on the bed, your fingers tracing the lines of his tattoos as he watched you with a heated intensity that made your stomach flip. it started slow—a series of languid kisses that deepened with each passing second, his hands roaming your body like he was relearning every curve.

“god, i missed touching you,” he murmured against your lips before flipping you onto your back. his mouth found the sensitive spot on your neck that always made you gasp, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to send a jolt of heat through your body.

“brandon,” you whimpered, arching into him. your shirt and jeans were quickly discarded, leaving you bare beneath his hungry gaze. “i’ve got an idea,” you said breathlessly, your fingers tangling in his dark hair.

he raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into that mischievous grin you loved. “oh yeah? what’s that?”

reaching for the camera on the dresser—the one you’d been using to document your tour—you held it up. “let’s take some pictures.”

his eyes darkened, his grin widening. “you wanna make some memories, huh?”

you nodded, your pulse quickening as he took the camera from you. “only if you’re up for it.”

“oh, i’m up for it,” he said, already adjusting the settings. “now, show me what you got.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the first few shots were playful. you posed coyly on the bed, your body framed by the soft sheets. brandon’s encouragement came between shutter clicks, his voice low and thick with desire. “you look incredible, baby. keep going.”

as the session progressed, the atmosphere shifted. you let the straps of your bra slip down your shoulders, your hands trailing over your body as you gazed at him through half-lidded eyes. brandon’s breath hitched, the camera momentarily forgotten as he drank you in.

“fuck,” he muttered, setting the camera aside. “can’t wait anymore.”

he joined you on the bed, his hands and mouth resuming their exploration. his lips trailed down your neck to your chest, lingering at your nipples as his fingers teased the waistband of your panties. you moaned his name, your hands gripping his shoulders as he slowly slid the last barrier from your body.

“stay like that,” he rasped, reaching for the camera again. the click of the shutter sent a thrill through you as he captured the moment—your flushed skin, the way your body arched under his touch.

when he finally set the camera aside for good, his attention was all yours. he kissed his way down your body, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to unravel you completely. you came with a cry, your thighs trembling as he coaxed every last wave of pleasure from you.

before you could catch your breath, he was over you again, his cock pressing against your entrance. “ready for me?” he murmured, his lips brushing against yours.

“always,” you whispered, wrapping your legs around his waist.

he pushed into you slowly, his groan mingling with your gasp as he filled you completely. his movements were deliberate at first, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered how much he’d missed you, how good you felt. but as your nails dug into his back, urging him on, his pace quickened, the room filling with the sounds of your shared need.

“you’re so fucking beautiful,” he panted, his hands gripping your hips as he drove into you harder. “couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“brandon,” you moaned, your body tightening around him as you teetered on the edge.

“cum for me, baby,” he urged, his thumb finding your clit and sending you spiraling into bliss. your release triggered his own, his body shuddering as he spilled into you with a low groan.

afterward, you lay tangled together, the camera resting on the nightstand as evidence of your reunion. brandon pressed a kiss to your temple, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.

“that was one hell of a homecoming,” he said with a soft chuckle.

you smiled, nuzzling against him. “think we got some good shots?”

“oh, we definitely did,” he replied, his tone warm and teasing. “but i think we might need a few more, just to be sure.”

you laughed, your heart full as you pulled him closer. “i’m not going anywhere.”

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Dating the Jackass Guys HC’s!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, drug use, alcohol, injury, car sex, tending to wounds, make outs, kissing, sex on a beach, public sex, unsafe driving, posessiveness, unwanted flirting

An: I wanted to write some head cannons based off of what kinds of dates the Jackass guys would take their girlfriends on (and all the ways that could go wrong)! Bam’s part was inspired by these headcannons by @1800miserablethot I love his work please go check him out!! Thank you for reading and please keep sending requests!

Steve-O

Assuming you were his asshole landlord, your boyfriend didn’t seem too happy when he threw open the door, clad only in his boxers, “What?!”

See, even though Steve planned to go out with you a week ago, he still wasn’t up by the time you got at his place, leaving you to pound on his door for what felt like an eternity to try and get his lazy ass out of bed

“Oh shit…” Shocked awake, Steve’s face fell after you, very unamused, reminded him that yes, you did have a date today. “Yeah, yeah- come on in!”

You knew that this was par for the course for him when you started dating him. What you weren’t aware of, however, was the state his apartment was in-

So much filth covered every surface that you started mentally repeating, “Don’t touch anything, don’t touch anything…” to yourself like a mantra

Despite the way your skin itched, there was something endearing about watching your boyfriend crack open a beer at noon, which he quickly drained, before pulling on a pair of jeans he had lying around.

“So, where’re we heading?” Given the fact Steve didn’t own a car, your options were kind of limited

The two of you ended up heading to the park and grabbing some hot dogs from a cart before plopping down on the grass together.

Even if he wasn’t half broke, he was never one for grand dates, and you could admire how genuine that was

Instead of wowing you with fancy dinners and sports cars, he preferred his dates to be about having a nice time with his lady.

Something not many people would know about Steve is that animals love him.

Out of nowhere, your boyfriend was practically knocked off his feet by an overexcited golden retriever who jumped on him and covered his face in slobbery kisses

It was heartwarming really, the way he laughed and smiled in that sweet, boyish way while giving the dog some good skritches!

Ah, you always knew men being good with animals was a green flag…

When it’s owner ran over and apologized for her dog getting off the leash, he told her it was totally cool

“But if it isn’t a problem, you don’t happen to have a tennis ball on you, do you?”

She did- as did the many other dog owners, who were as impressed as you were at Steve’s impromptu juggling act he put on in the park

Okay, maybe he was trying to impress you a little. But showing off you clown skills isn’t the same as driving around in some hot shit Lamborghini, okay?

As the sun started going down, and Steve walked you to your car, he asked if you’d be interested in coming up to his place, maybe smoke a little- who knows…

But thinking back to the piles of empty beer cans and the questionable stains on the carpet, you politely declined, “Uh…Maybe next time?”

You made another mental note to lay down some blankets down in your trunk before you saw him next.

Johnny

“Howdy, ma’am!” Standing at your door to pick you up for your date to the rodeo was Knoxville, who tipped his cowboy hat at you while you giggled at his little country getup,

What with the boots and those tights jeans that made his ass looks great- not to mention that obnoxious pink shirt that let you know it was your boyfriend under all that

“Are you really wearing that?”

“Well, yes i am,” Taking your hand, he drawled in an exaggerated accent as he led you to the car before opening the door for you, “and I do think we should be gettin’ a move on…”

You had no clue there were even rodeos in LA before Johnny took you there, but there you were, sitting with these great seats

And there’s nothing more your boyfriend loved than seeing that look of wonder on your face as you ogled at the real deal bull riders, not like the kinda stuff he does on Jackass. Which, speaking of…

“Excuse me, ma’am- I gotta go hit the little boy’s room.”

However, Knoxville was not squeezing past your knees to go to the little boy’s room.

Unbeknownst to you, he actually was a friend of the man who owned the stadium and had a little surprise planned for you

Not five minutes later, after they corralled the bull to set up for the next rider, guess who you see walk out into the ring? That fucking pink shirt…

“Johnny- Johnny! Don’t-“ and there he went, ploughed clean over much to the joy of the crowd and your anguish

Not assured at all by the thumbs up he gave you as he staggered to his feet, you couldn’t help but wince a little when you saw your boyfriend limp back to his seat.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” With a crooked grin, Knoxville waved a dismissive hand at you, “Yeah, I’ll be fine- just a little bruised…” Still, he didn’t dissuade your worries,

Turns out he was more than just a little bruised, as you would find out when things started getting a little hot and heavy on the drive back and Johnny had to pull over to a dark, secluded area just off the beaten path

Moving to straddle his lap, you felt him groan against your lips as you reached down to undo his belt, “mmm…ow- fuck!”

So, glancing down at the swollen, purple mess of bruise tissue on his legs, you decided to take a rain check.

Instead of ending the night getting laid in your boyfriend’s ‘69 Challenger, you spent the night at his place, holding ice to his sore thighs while he cracked jokes to make you laugh despite the situation.

If that ain’t love, then you don’t know what love is…

Ryan

When Ryan told you that over the phone that, “If you want, you could just come hang out at Castle Bam.” you thought that would mean swimming in the backyard pool and going out for dinner at Antonio’s,

But he meant it very literally, because there you were, sitting next to your boyfriend on the couch, watching TV.

I mean, you were happy to be hanging out with him, but is this his idea of a date?

“Is this all we’re going to do?” “Yeah.”

It was Dunn’s greatest power and his worst fault- he was horribly, aggressively chill

There you sat for hours, so comfortable with each other that you didn’t feel the need to make small talk, watching The Simple Life, or Nick and Jessica, or whatever dreck MTV away airing that afternoon

Later, Ry went to the kitchen to grab a few more beers, which certainly were aiding in his aforementioned chillness, when you called out to him,

“You know, I really had this image in my mind- maybe you’d take me out for food or some drinks tonight? Maybe a little courtship here?”

Plopping down next to you, Dunn passed you a bag of chips he got for you from the kitchen before handing you one of the two bottles from the side table with a faux bow, “Milady?”

Smirking, you took it from him, because you could never be mad at him for too long

But as the afternoon wore on, with the rest of the guys out filming something, your boyfriend eventually passed out drunk on the couch

“Yeah, this is how I wanna spend my Saturday…” Grumbling to yourself, you snatched the remote and absentmindedly flicked through channels for a while before you got bored

So, wriggling in next to your boyfriend’s warm, unconscious body, you laid your head against Ryan’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as you drifted off to sleep.

God, if there was a better way to wake up than to him gently playing with your hair and looking down at you with that sweet, lovesick look in his eyes, you didn’t wanna know

Mind you, he was still drunk given the fact he was only out for a couple hours,

And whenever you were within arm’s reach, Dunn got sappy drunk,

“You’re still here?”

Of course you were still there, but once he got like this, it was to your benefit to let him get it out of his system.

Tilting your chin up, Ryan planted a sweet kiss to your forehead, murmuring, “God- I am so lucky to have a girlfriend like you…”

Chris

When you broke it to Pontius that you had no clue how to surf, he dedicated a chunk of your beach date to teaching you, “It’s pretty simple- you’ll pick up on it in no time!”

Well, that’s not all he told you- he also said you looked hot in your bikini, but that’s not as important

“It’s easier if you practice this kinda stuff on land…” Your boyfriend dragged his board to lay down on the sand, waving you over, “Hop on!”

And, very close behind you, Chris stood guiding you on how to shift you weight and when to stand up with his hands on whatever part of your body made it easiest to explain to you

You’re not going to lie- you did pull the, “Is this how you do it?” card a few times more than was needed just for an excuse to feel his wide palms on your body for a little while longer.

But time came for you to actually do the thing he was teaching you, you totally wiped out!

(To nobody’s surprise)

Still, Pontius was the painfully kind guy you fell in love with, swimming out to wherever you fell and scooping you up Baywatch style before encouraging you to give it another shot

“You know,” glancing at him up and down- looking all suave and perfect with way the salt water glistened on his tan skin and curled his hair, “I think I’d rather watch you…”

What kind of guy would say no when their girl asks to watch them while they do something they’re awesome at?

With your ass in the sand, you spent hours oggling Chris from afar and cheering him on

Until the sun began sinking beyond the horizon and you decided to hit up the bar for drinks and something to eat.

Later that evening, once most of the tourists have cleared off of the beaches of LA, the two of you snuck back

“This place is beautiful at night- you gotta check it out Y/N!”

Visiting the beach to see it turned into building a bonfire, and there’s something so rugged and masculine about watching your boyfriend lug 50lb pieces of driftwood without breaking a sweat.

And with that visual in your mind, there’s only a few places the evening can go…

First with the arm around your shoulder holding you close, because it gets cold there at night, then a little kissing because hell, kissing always feels nice,

Which then proceeded to straight up beach sex. The fantasy kind of beach sex, where sand doesn’t get anywhere and there no seagulls or wayward cops patrolling the shore.

That night, still naked, you fell asleep in eachother’s arms by the smoldering remains of your fire, enjoying the warmth you shared.

Bam

“So I was thinking maybe we could ride four wheelers, chill out and play some pool, go for a drive in the Lambo, hit up the bar tonight- anything else you wanna do?”

The house was empty for one day, and your boyfriend just wanted to do the same shit he does with his dumb little buddies every other time they’re over?

Most of the time, your dates were more about him having fun than treating you to some sweet, romantic shit, but you had to admit that a part of you kind of contributed to the chaos

Once you got bored with jumping cars and doing tricks on the ATVs and headed inside, guess who came knocking on the door?

Dico, who your boyfriend totally forgot he made plans to work on the film edit with

But Bam had no qualms about shutting the door in his face,

“Yeah, yeah- I’m workin’ on it!”

Listening for him to walk away, your boyfriend turned to you with a smirk, “So, how’s that ride sound?”

The thing about living in the backwoods of Pennsylvania is that you can drive pretty much as fast and as recklessly as you want, and there’s no cops around to give you a ticket

Bam knew this and used it to his every advantage. He paid for the whole speedometer, why the hell shouldn’t he use it?

Especially when he had his girl in the car, who looked so cute when he made her nervous…

You ended up at Rex’s, and you were practically hyperventilating by the time you stumbled out of the Lambo,

“I could really use a beer right now…”

And as soon as you walked through door, there goes Mr. Friendly, paling arround with everyone in the bar and leaving you to drink alone. What a man…

But if there was something you loved about Bam, it was that he shows up when it counts,

Like when he caught that creep hitting on you out of the corner of his eye.

Never have you seen your boyfriend whip around so fast, planting his fist in the asshole’s jaw hard enough to throw him against the bar top

Wrapping a possessive arm around your waist and tugging you close, he spat at the guy, “Yeah- flirt with my girl again, fucker…”

You got back to the castle late, everything serene and dark as you laid snuggled up in Bam’s tousled sheets,

Which very quickly evolved into lazily making out, all slow and soft and romantic

(Because your boyfriend didn’t jump to screwing at every chance you got- credit to his immaturity)

And that’s how you fell asleep, with him nuzzling his face into your hair and nodding off