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jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot
SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]
unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ashenviper week 2024#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#ashenviper#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#cereal tries to draw#and boy did i try. JFKLDSJFLDSJG#i kinda shot myself in the foot deciding today on the day i STARTED WAY LATER#to be the day that i wanted to try shading in the tones lol#and then. picked the day i was doing stuff with a lot of dark black parts#with no color to balance out the similar tones jkLJFSDKLJFDKLJS#im not exactly good with tonal contrast and UNFORTUNATELY IT'S VERY APPARENT HERE TODAY SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY#whatever it's practice teehee. good enough is GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!#anyway i was gonna draw them looking more evil but i kinda ended up goin the route of like. evil while gay#as in kind of extremely obsessed w/each other in their toxic yaoi state idk#like i think if they overblot at the same time it woulda been over for us boys theyd be too strong#uniting the powers of hypnosis and blackmail and also the fine print. and gay. to take over the school and then probably the world#u probs gotta click full screen squint on this one bc if ucked it up stupid style theres too much dark lol#USUALLY I HAVE THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM I DONT GO DARK ENOUGH#[professor voice] youre kinda stuck in the midtones#well. this time i went mid/dark and forgot the light lol#if i had more time maybe i coulda done some like actual shading to round it out but I DONT WANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S LATE#AND IM SLEEEEPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#if drawing overblot details didnt kill me tho i think id like to draw them being overblot together more often lol i enjoy the concept#maybe if i can shorthand it or GO BACK TO MY BELOVED TINY GUYS#i spent the most time on this one of all the other drawings this week#tomorrow i do not anticipate ill spend as long on but#i was considerin the glomas outfits which are ALSO SCARY DETAILS AUGHHGHGH <- it's bc im bad at drawing. LOL
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I am going on a 20 hour flight tomorrow please give me your favourite less well-known narrative fiction podcast recommendations
#i lean towards horror but i am open to anything#I've listened to a LOT of podcasts so I've heard of. a lot of them. but obviously there are always more.#if you are a person who makes an audio drama you are welcome to reoly and plug yourself#no shame here i need good content#i have a STRONG preference for stuff with carefully laid audio editing#(which doesnt necessarily mean heavy audioscapes or a lot of foley. it just means i like it when editors make a clean product)#(i say this as someone who is extremely meticulous about my own audio production)#(also: hire me? i only have one real example atm but I'm a kickass producer lol)#(but that's off topic)#RECOMMENDATIONS PLEASE#podcasts#podcast recommendations#audio drama#audio drama recommendations#fiction podcast#horror podcast#the system speaks
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Birthday Completed.. Am Thirtey Twoe
#i visited a rat cafe!! (it is not an eating or drinking establishment it's just a rat interaction establishment but i keep calling it that))#there was another american at the rat cafe and she took me to Dunch cuz it was my birthday and she also wanted to ask me about rat ownershi#note: in my brain Dunch is a meal combo like brunch -- a dinner so early as to overlap lunch -but at a less glamorous time and sounds worse#that was super nice and i think i now have another person on my small list of in person friends here!!! ;w;#then on the way home brief specter of disaster as i was like OH GOD... IVE PARKED IN A RESTRICTED BIKE LOT AND THEY TOWED MY BIKE#(because i had definitely just .. parked my bike in the area for monthly permit holders without noticing lol)#but it turned out instead they had just stuck it in a metered space where it should have gone to begin with so disaster averted lol#then when it was getting late i took myself out for a pot of tea and a fancy sweet at a local cafe! (actual cafe) (no rats)#honestly i'd been mad at myself for not planning anything with any friends and thinking i'd end up depressed and alone today#but i got just enough rat and human interaction and it was a really good day#i did a bunch of other stuff this week too#why did i write all of this in tags? unclear.......i'm extremely tired or i'd try to make a real blog post of it with pics etc. : I#eepy. so eepy
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Usopp wants to make a cake for Sanji's birthday so he begs him to stay away from the kitchen for a while. Go read with Robin. Hang out with Luffy. Play with Chopper. Sunbathe with Nami. Whatever. As long as he doesn't come into the kitchen.
To say he's afraid would be an understatement. He has seen Usopp cooking and he isn't bad. Just... Average person skills. He can boil water, unlike some others (cof cof mosshead and Luffy cof cof) but baking a cake is entirely different. Sanji is scared for his boyfriend's safety and his kitchen. Mostly his kitchen.
He just waits next to the door until it's done, unable to even rest because the thought of what could be happening inside scares the shit out of him. He really, really wants to take a look inside but he's being respectful of his boyfriend's wishes. But God, if he messes up...
But he??? He doesn't???
The cake turns out extremely good. Borderline surprising. Astonishing. Sanji can't even speak. Okay, maybe it isn't perfect and maybe Sanji would've changed some stuff but- But it's perfect for him and it's well-made and it isn't average because it's obvious it's made with so, so much love and care.
"Where- Where the hell did you learn to do this?" Sanji needs to ask this because there is no way Usopp managed to make this without any prior experience. "I didn't teach you this." And the thought of another cook teaching Usopp how to bake a cake makes him shiver with jealousy.
Usopp smiles proudly, pointing a finger to his chest. "Well, did I ever tell you I used to be the most fam-" Sanji raises an eyebrow at him, knowing it's obviously a lie, and Usopp sighs, lowering his shoulders. He laughs at his own behavior. "Sorry, but I did bake a lot of cakes when I was a kid. My mom couldn't get out of bed, but she wanted to celebrate anyway and we didn't have much money to buy one, so... I made my own. Also made Kaya's when she was sick." But he doesn't look sad about it... Just nostalgic.
Sanji kisses him. Out of nowhere and tasting his sugary lips he used to taste the cake. When they move away, Usopp blushing uncontrollably, Sanji hums. "Is it- is it good? Do you like it?" The sniper asks, a bit too nervously keeping in mind his prior confidence.
"The kiss or the cake?" Sanji smirks.
"The cake, obviously."
"Perfect." He kisses him again. "You, the cake, your kisses. Always sweet and perfect."
And Sanji thinks he will let Usopp bake his next birthday cake. And the next. And the next. If it means he will be able to taste it on his lips every time.
#happy birthday sanji my pookie#since i won't make a birthday fic bc i am extremely busy here you have little short stuff i couldn't turn into a fic so it's just a post#i am going to be extremely annoying today :)#i think usopp would be really good at making sweets tbh have you seen his hands#the only reason why sanji can't come into the kitchen is that he'd die seeing usopp cooking i think he'd faint#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso
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is this where u take the requests? if not, apologies lol still learning tumblr, I WAS WONDERING IF MY VARGAS RELATED REQUESTOBER REQUEST COULD BE JAKE/NNY? i feel like jake/nny is SO looked past like its actually so cute, they could be doing anything THANK U IF THIS WAS THE WRONG PLACE SORRY MWAH MWAH X
Day 12 - Once you had one hole in your skin, you've had 'em all
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Jake#Nny#*looks at your comment of NnyGaster being cursed* *looks at this* Well I mean at least you're consistent#Of all the crackships I haven't considered I possibly haven't considered this one the most#I mean considering I Just got into Nny/Scriabin lol#I have extreme Edgar/Scriabin blinders lol this is known#Is this a thing and I just don't know? I can't even snark I just - it Literally Never Occurred to me lol#Edgar got all the shipping charts and diagrams and graphs he's special that way <3#I love Jake dearly and don't want him to be hurt! Unlike the Vargases lol ♥ I love them dearly and Do want them be hurt#Precarious position anyone who gets paired up with Johnny haha#I suppose if Johnny's still in Sweet Mode that's one thing but!! the rest of him!!!#Their dynamic over something like piercings Is interesting tho - Jake hangs out with artsy types and Nny is definitely that lol#And Johnny's y'know - weird about stuff lol - I could see him getting into a pierced partner! No pun intended#And obviously Jake is very good on boundaries <3 He's not actually touching him here just gesturing at his ear#It also occurs to me that I can't think of a time I've seen Johnny with tattoos :0 Body modification+art! (+bodily weirdness)#Might be something there to look at sometime hmmm#Anyhow - continuing my trend of drawing Nny on the hood of the car over the cliff haha#I didn't think I had leveled up all that much from last year but comparing the two??? I'm Way more pleased with this one#Still struggling with the bottom of the shoe but better! Practicing!!!#Maybe there Is something to drawing just a bit bigger lol#Nny also looks significantly less anemic from not having died yet lol#Really pleased with the harder edges of the unlined shapes ♪ I used that grass brush on everything and it's dope#Do I like backgrounds???? First lining now this so much to consider
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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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🤨
#random personal stuff#back on my soapbox feel free to ignore#okay I'm about to get controversial sorry#but after today's sermon I'm a bit baffled by a double standard#in which women are told not to let work get in the way of prioritizing family#but men are told to work MORE in order to prioritize family#which is it?#I'm not saying that there isn't ANY truth in either of those statements#but the emphasis of this construction seems to assume that children need fathers primarily as people who make money#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with a dad who works and a mom who stays at home (that's a good option)#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with dads who have to take on extra work to get by (that's a self-sacrificial thing)#what I'm saying is that when a career is portrayed as the ideal focus of a father & only the mother's bond with the children is encouraged#then what you are liable to get are children who have little to no meaningful relationship with their father#supporting your family is good! but children need a present father just as much as they need a present mother#I'm speaking from experience here#I love my dad and get along fine with him - he's a good person!#but he was frequently physically and emotionally absent from my life when I was a child#and I still struggle to connect with him#it's an extremely different relationship from what I have with my mom - who WAS there my entire childhood#tl;dr I wish the kinds of churches I've observed would a) stop inadvertently promoting fathers' workaholism#and b) encourage both parents to invest in their families in the best ways that they can
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Hokay, we’re gonna have a small little fandom etiquette lesson here:
#Anti [Character] #[Character] Critical
See these two tags? They’re very good to use (if you want to write negative posts about a character) and very good to block (if you don’t want to see negative posts about a character)
Because yeah, you should be able to voice your opinion! You shouldn’t have to pretend to like a character just because a lot of other people seem to like them.
But maybe
Just maybe
When a character tag updates, like, once every two days on average
Maybe it can get a little tiring for people who like that character to see a bunch of hate towards that character instead of enjoyment
(And then they do stupid things like engage with and argue with that dislike instead of just blocking and moving on, which is genuinely A Dick Move most of the time)
Maybe it can get a little upsetting to see the same
Exact
Mountain of misinformation that maliciously mischaracterizes the character they like
That just gets repeated over and over and over
And stuff out the posts that are about enjoying the character within the tags
So try to use #Anti [Character] and/or #[Character] Critical when you are bringing up your grievances with a specific character, and try to block #Anti [Character] and #[Character] Critical if drama about that character is likely to upset you
Live and let live, and don’t muck up everybody else’s space to engage with what they enjoy
#fandom stuff#here I’ll even give you an example of how to use the tags#anti della duck#della duck critical#yes this is about#della duck#like seriously it’s absolutely a dick move to jump down people’s throats just because they voice grievances with her#not a cool move#THAT BEING SAID#it is ALSO not very cool to fill up the della duck tag with hate for her#and then act surprised when people get upset by that#it can be extremely upsetting to have to dig through a veritable mountain of dislike#in order to get to the parts of the tag that we’re actively looking for#(also the fact that it’s pretty much always the same exact complaints is… not fun)#(ESPECIALLY because all of those bits are either:#misinformation#issues that exist but were solved in-show#mischaracterization#mischaracterization based on a DIFFERENT character’s blatant mischaracterization in fanon#and a basic disregard of any nuance the character might have)#and like- yeah no I’m sure that stuff still Is A Thing when defending the character#it’s a fandom thing after all#insert ‘you are not immune to propaganda’ meme here but replace ‘propaganda’ with ‘fandom bullshit’#but it’s still upsetting to see#which! is why ‘anti della duck’ and ‘della duck critical’ are important tags for the fandom economy#tags created for the purpose of filtering are very good at specializing what fandom bullshit that you see
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JUST started a good Durge playthrough and I'm dying over my absolute little guy bard Tinfoil.
#bg3#bg3 tav#baldurs gate 3#(Im a tag rambler so theres a lot here-) he's got voice six and because of that I'm opting he's incredibly INCREDIBLY young#like- probably 9? Dragonborn reach 10 year old human size at 3 for them so. yeah-#human-body wise he's about 17? but he's still got so little thoughts in his head. Which is canon as well at least#not gonna romance ANYONE as Tinfoil but we're gonna all be besties.#still deciding if he'll slurp tadpoles. he gives into peer preassure very easily and is very easily bossed around.#so it depends at the moment in the cutscene i guess.#he's the group kid. i think shadowheart would mother him a lot and he looks up to Karlach A SHITTON. 'She's so cool...'#'why is the group kid the leader?'#everyone shrugs but they see Tinfoil curl up around a small pile of gold and gems as he sleeps and they can't say no to what he wants to do#Lae'zel thinks he's 'extremely weak skinned. and needs all the help a pathetic youngling like him can get'#she says; helping said pathetic kid up off the nautaloid ship floor after he ran ahead to try and get to the controls; listening to her#like a good lil guy#'Tinfoil; darling; you know we can always get *more* gold if you give up some of these precious little rubies and opals. Your hoard#will look *much* more impressive that way.'#-Astarion; trying to convince a now-teary-eyed tinfoil to give up his hoard so the party can buy health potions#'its not...its not impressive?' he starts crying and Shadowheart has to comfort him#I KNOW he's gonna go murder mode and stuff. but everyone at camp thinks it's just dragonborn instincts kicking in#so they just like chain him to a tree for the night.#its funny i think#'NO! BAD TINFOIL! STOP TRYING TO EAT THE BIRDS!'#'Raughguguhguguh. Tinfoil *NEEDS* sauce...'#he is on a leash constantly because he is enamoured with the beauty of the world and runs off- but also to not kill and maim constantly.
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what your favorite Parahumans ship says about you
(Obviously based on / inspired by @doubleca5t’s video series)
Taylor/Emma: You had a really hard time coming out as a lesbian.
Taylor/Sophia [ShadowSkitter]: Your favorite fanfic trope is enemies to lovers.
Taylor/Madison: You like redemption arcs, but you’re kinda lazy about it.
Taylor/Lisa [Smugbug]: “Be gay, do crimes” is not just a meme to you, it is your personal motto, it is your way of life.
Taylor/Rachel [Wolfspider]: You are queer and neurodivergent.
Taylor/Brian [Skrue]: Considering how uncommon this ship is you might honestly be Wildbow.
Taylor/Alec [Jitterbug]: Your addiction to edgy boys who have trouble talking about their feelings is terminal. You have seven days left to live.
Alec/Brian: You’re doing your best in a series with barely any viable M/M ships in the main cast.
Alec/Brian/Lisa/Rachel/Taylor [Polysiders]: You’re super into the found family trope. You’re also super horny.
Aisha/Taylor [Forgetabug]: “Hoe don’t do it” is your favorite meme and ideal relationship dynamic.
Aisha/Brian [Laborncest]: You have an incest kink. And low standards.
Aisha/Alec: Doing crimes is more important to you than being gay.
Amy/Victoria [Guts & Glory]: You have an amazing ability to ignore the parts of canon you don’t like. And you have an incest kink.
Amy/Taylor [Pillbug]: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of being lonely together.
Taylor/Victoria [Punch Buggy]: Your appreciation for strong female protagonists is only outweighed by your appreciation for exploring trauma.
Amy/Taylor/Victoria: You think most friendship drama could be solved with a threesome. And you have an incest kink.
Amy/Lisa: You just wanted good things for Amy. And really, you’re allowed to want that.
Lisa/Victoria: You’re just here for the hatesex.
Dean/Victoria: You had a pretty easy time of it in high school.
Uber/Leet: One of the hottest things you can imagine is a dude saying “no homo” just as he gets balls deep in his boyfriend’s ass.
Lily/Sabah [Needlepoint]: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of protecting someone.
Taylor/Dennis [Clockroach]: You like Worm, but you don’t get why it has to be so dark and morally ambiguous all the time.
Danny/Jack Slash [Jack Daniels]: You are desperate, DESPERATE for father figures.
Assault/Battery: You think any joke can only be improved by slapstick.
Contessa/Number Man [Countessa]: You also ship Chell and Wheatley.
Colin/Dragon: You’re a robofucker, obviously, but more than that you’re a transhumanist.
Ashley/Victoria [Starsong]: Your favorite fanfiction trope is useless lesbians.
Sveta/Victoria: You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma.
Erin/Rain: You have at least a passing interest in trad aesthetics, and a strong interest in FLR.
Sveta/Weld: You like your monsters tragic and your relationships tragic-er.
Rain/(any of the Heartbroken girls): You’re into femdom.
Jack Slash/Number Man: You toil in the yaoi mines all day and all night and have done so for at least twenty years.
#parahumans#cleo is fandom posting#what your favorite ship says about you#'why isn't x ship here' because i don't see fics of them#'why isn't there more Ward stuff' because Ward isn't very good#extras:#'Emma and Alec' you read Intrepid (good taste)#'Brian and Purity' you read Silencio extremely uncritically#'Taylor and Nice Guy' you don't mind reading the same fic over and over and#'Crimson and Winter' your ideal date ends with you getting killed by the feds
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potentially got invited to the pub by the people i met last night, not sure if that's on but i'll be paralysed with stress until i know
#it was so weird#my housemates left and i was in the middle of playing pool with a girl i'd met twice#both in bio labs#and a load of people i didn't know#had more fun with them than i ever have with one particular housemate tbh#got extremely drunk. went to the club. had an odd but good time#walked home with that girl and i now have her number#i was saying some questionable stuff though#and probably way too personal#but that's how it goes 😭😭😭#if she doesn't invite me to the pub i'll overthink and decide she thinks i'm weird#but if she does i'll be so overwhelmed#i'm mentally fuzzy and not in any mood to socialise#need to do some work but i can't whilst i might have to leave at any moment#i can't miss out on the chance to make friends#which means i am stuck here#and struggling to do so much as talk to the friends i do have#aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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trying to organize the lad's playlist and right now I've got all his 'friends with animals' songs directly after 'you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there' and right before 'I don't want your pity, I just want somebody near me' WHICH FEELS, MEAN,,
#'haha and here are two funny songs about cats! :) here is one about feeding pigeons! :) ... Oh God I'm So Lonely--'#dfgkjhgkjfhd THE RATS AND THE CATS AND THE PIGEONS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM HE'D STILL HANG OUT WITH CRITTERS IF HE HAD FRIENDS OKAY#where do I fucking put these goofass critter songs. dumping them all AFTER Nobody almost feels meaner??#probably I could put kitten is angry anywhere. probably I could put the cat duet anywhere also tbh it's just silly#I guess feed the birds could probably pair up with nature boy?#I do kinda like having a little Animals interlude all together though 🤔#I also need to play through and fine-tune what actually Sounds Good in what order but I'm tryna get the broad strokes placement first#I'M NOT EXTREMELY GOOD AT PLAYLISTS. IS THE THING. STRUGGLING.......#I just added a bunch of stuff I think tbh I just need to listen through everything I have now and then organize
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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played thru slay the princess again with the pristine cut update. many thoughts. extremely many thoughts.
#i had a very confused understanding of this game on first go through - extremely affecting but#very confused and messied by my interpretations and assumptions#after 10 hours of poking around i have a much more solid (if still nascent) understanding of what this#game is doing and#holy god and shit and also fuck this is such excellent art#i finished it tonight again and had ro just get up and stim around the room for a while to try and#evacuate the overwhelming excitement of seeing such a well constructed beautifully presented tightly written#complex creative profound varied cohesive unique curious compassionate fun GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD fucking game#i need go eat my computer#some of the stuff here made me have visceral and extremely interesting reactions i now need to sit with#this is the sort of game that lives in you for ever#thank you. thank you#this is the shit i am alive for#slay the princess#mine
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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