#anyway i was gonna draw them looking more evil but i kinda ended up goin the route of like. evil while gay

[cerealmonster15]

jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot

SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]

unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alrightbookreviews]

Shadow and Bone

by Leigh Bardugo

book: 7/10

show: 9/10

Alright so i’m assuming most of y’all have heard of this book after the Netflix series came out like a week ago and are like “damn i shoulda read the book” or maybe not. but if not then idk why ur even on my blog but whatever. i read this book like a month or two ago before i even knew about the show so it was a strange coincidence for me but i was excited for the show bc the book was pretty decent. so i sat down to watch the show w pretty low expectations bc the movies are never better than the books (duh) but i ended up liking the show WAY more than the book and here’s why.

So basically, the plot of the book is this chick named alina who draws maps i guess has this friend named mal (who she grew up at an orphanage with) and she has been high key in love w him basically her whole life and he is so fucking clueless so he doesn’t pick up on it at all. but they get sent on a boat across this big black cloud thing called the “shadow fold” w spooky monsters in it. so you’re probably thinking “oh okay since they took a boat, the shadow fold must be over water” wrong. it’s over some crusty ass sand and instead of getting something with wheels they drag this big ass boat across dry land which makes 0 sense to me but okay. also i should probably mention that there are people w like magic powers or some shit but i’ll get to that later. anyways, so alina and her bestie end up on this boat goin across the big spooky cloud with some other rando people. another design flaw of the boat that really bothers me is the fact that there are EVIL FLYING MOSTERS up in this dark ass cloud and instead of like putting everyone below deck or whatever, they jus have everyone vibing out in the open for the monsters to snatch. so of course, the monsters start snatching bitches. and mal gets snatched and alina is like omg no and then she passes the fuck out. very wild stuff. so they make it out of the shadow fold somehow and alina wakes up and these guard dudes are draggin her to the fancy magic people tent. i think now is a good time to explain the magic people so ima do that. so basically there are all these people with magic powers called “grisha” which is kinda confusing bc it sounds a lot like geisha but whatever. there’s like a bunch of different powers and they all have wacky names that i can never remember so i just call them the wind people, the water people, the fire people, the heart people, the healing people, and the builder people. the names are pretty self explanatory. but then there’s this one guy called “the darkling” which is the dumbest name to ever exist omfg i laughed over it for a WHILE. so y’all can probably guess what his power is based off of his stupid name. he makes the shadows move oooo spooky. and he can also use the shadows to chop people in half. i guess. so back to the story, they drag alina to the darklings tent and he’s like “bitch u got powers” and she’s like “nah fam” and he’s like “yeah watch” and he cuts her w a knife and she lights up. like she turns into a human lightbulb. and she’s like “damn okay so like that’s what happened on the boat when i passed the fuck out” so they take her to the palace bc i guess she’s the first person to ever have that power and it’s important bc it can get rid of the shadow fold or whateva. and basically the rest of the book is her trying to figure out her powers and the darkling trying to find this deer whose antlers will amplify her power and alina complaining about living in a castle blah blah blah.

so here’s why the show is better than the book:

her friend/guy she’s in love with is so fucking toxic in the book. he’s such a bitch to her and she’s just like lol okay ily and i’m like wtf? why do u like this piece of shit? he’s just rude man. and in the show i actually liked him. he tried his hardest to get to the palace and find her after they took her away unlike in the book when he didn’t do shit and when she finally saw him again he was mad at her for some reason idk i was like bro u gotta chill. so i’m glad he was chill in the show.

the darkling’s name in the show is “general kirigan” which is also pretty lame but SO much better than the darkling. no debate.

leigh bardugo has 7 books total taking place in this little universe (the shadow and bone trilogy, six of crows duology, and the king of scars duology) and they threw some of the characters from six of crows into the show for some reason. i was a little skeptical of how that was gonna go before the show came out bc shadow and bone and six of crows take place at different times and also i haven’t read six of crows yet but omg. i loved them. it’s this little squad of this ninja bitch, some guy w a cane who is hot af and (my favorite) this gay dude who mostly just talks about a goat. they were baddies and i was so happy they made a lil plot for them and put them in the show.

and those are really the only reasons. idk. i’d recommend both the book and the show but definitely the show a lil bit more.

now it’s time to talk some shit about everyone. (SPOILERS!!)

jesper: okay something important i need to say that my mom mentioned as we were watching the show: wouldn’t it have stank like shit when jesper fucked that one guy in the stables??? like dude no. literally do it ANYWHERE but there pls and thank u.

kaz: jesus fuck make a move you goddamn pussy holy shit

inej: okay first of all the actress who played her was GORGEOUS and she’s such a badass. kaz and jesper can’t do SHIT compared to her.

alina: she lowkey annoyed me a lil bit in the show. she ended up being the one who was a dick to mal instead of the other way around and it kinda made me sad but whatever. also the antlers in her skin omfg i gagged every time i saw it it was fucking disgusting.

mal: dear book mal, go fuck yourself. dear netflix mal, ily boo <3

the darkling/general kirigan: they chose an old ass dude to play him in the show. like in the book even though he’s like hundreds of years old, he’s only supposed to look like 20 and the homeboy who played him in the show is 39. mmm no. poor little 25 year old jessie who had to make out with this grandpa motherfucker.

genya: wtf was that tall ass collar she was wearing?? made the bitch look like she had no neck.

david: 🧍‍♂️. also you traitor motherfucker.

baghra: we needed more of her. i love that crusty bitch. kinda upset that she attacked mal in the show but whatever he was fine i guess? idk i liked her a lot more in the book lol.

nina: idk who tf this bitch was bc she aint in the book. her lil plot was boring tbh.

milo: queen milo i live for you.

and that’s it. thank u for reading.

[clarkispotamia]

I had another rad dream it started out like a resident evil game but MAN THE TWIST!! So these two special cops or agents or something are on this weird property it’s like a plantation house with all the little buildings around but the layouts make no sense it’s whack. There have been all these disappearances that somehow have ended up related to this property so the cop agent people are lookin around for clues. Suddenly these fuckin weirdo people show up and they are attacking. Guns aren’t working and they are in one of the small outbuildings not the main house so there’s nowhere to hide. One agent gets a big knife out and that is sort of effective?? Like they can cut apart the bodies but they’re still somehow animated but a chopped up body not gonna be a huge threat.

So they keep going and one of the agents is like making some really good calls like it’s weird how she’s navigating and the other girl is sort of oblivious but dream me who is watching is like oh fuck somethin goin on w this girl. They get outside again and it ends up being safe outside the spooky guys don’t like the sunlight but they aren’t vampires it’s weird but all the sudden they are being fired on and have to go into this weird ditch/drain thing and go into like super dirty under Disney like some underground walkways and stuff. Oh also there were some weird plants outside important for later like the bear from midsomar.

So we are underground and this person emerges they are different from the spooky dudes and bitch this dude knows one of the agents and oh fuck here we go dream me is losing it like other agent is like wtf freaking out. Rude dude is sowing distrust then sends out fucked up dogs to attacc. Things are lookin ruff lol but they escape the dogs bc known agent is like really good at climbing??? So other agent is like girl how are you doing this how did that rude dude know you what’s going on why is this happening don’t tell me it’s a song anyway

So this girl BULLSHITS her way through this question like “oh you know special training wink all the interviews with the townsfolk I know about this place wink” and dream me is like fuck off you know this girl involved or somethin. Whatever they climbed up has them in a house but not the main plantation house and they can see the house is sort of overgrown with these cool ass flowers and again they are like whatever not concerned about these flowers like dumb dumbs. Suddenly there are a bunch of spooky dudes and fucked up dogs and the agent who knows what’s goin on is like yo other girl you gotta go like I’m gonna do a sacrifice and she’s all like noooo bc somethin goin on between these girls 👀 and dream me is like NOOO MY DREAM CANT BE A BURY YOUR GAYS but unfortunately I don’t get input on this dream. Suspicious agent draws all the spooky baddies into this room w a fireplace and it’s a gas fireplace and I guess the whole place is gas powered so she blows up the fireplace and the whole building explodes into flames other girl escapes into this garden where there’s some hedge maze bullshit

We then cut to the mistress of the house and some of her “family” and they all got something going on. Like the main lady is beautiful and got some magic or something and she is immortal or whatever. Her family are also some kind of immortal or live a long time kinda people different supernatural stuff. They are all hangin out talkin about the agents in the property when none other than fuckin knows what’s goin on agent gets dragged in. Dream me is pissed like nah we ain’t just do a bury your gays to reveal she evil too. So of course mistress is like “oh my pet welcome back” and whatever bullshit like it’s real flirtatious but like also passive aggressive so you ain’t know if they gonna fight or fuck or what.

APPARENTLY this agent is actually like a couple hundred years old and turns into this sort of tiger thing it looked more like raikou from Pokémon and she and this mistress were A THING back in the day but it was an unhealthy relationship or whatever and mistress started doing some sketchy evil kinda shit so tiger girl peaces out but she still loves the mistress in whatever way she wants to convince her to be chill and mistress is like you know what I gotta tend to my garden these plants are giving life to my children the spooky dudes I gotta keep abducting people and feeding them to the plants so my family can live and she’s doing this guilt thing like come on you know humans they’ll never love us or care for us they can’t understand OUR family and dream me is like FUCK DONT MAKE TIGER GIRL FEEL ANY SORT OF WAY

But tiger girl and other agents have been partners for awhile and she’s like I know a human that does love me and I love her I can’t let you keep doing this not all humans are bad whatever dream me is like judging this is a weak ass rebuttal but also I’m rootin for tiger girl and agent girl and fucking mistress like takes out ye olde photo album and is like oh but look at how things were we can go back to that I miss you come back whatever but tiger girl is like NAH MAN. SO YOU KNOW ITS BOUT TO GO DOWN BUT THEN my dad woke me up to take the dog out f

Anyway I need this dream to be a movie