#i need go eat my computer
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
played thru slay the princess again with the pristine cut update. many thoughts. extremely many thoughts.
#i had a very confused understanding of this game on first go through - extremely affecting but#very confused and messied by my interpretations and assumptions#after 10 hours of poking around i have a much more solid (if still nascent) understanding of what this#game is doing and#holy god and shit and also fuck this is such excellent art#i finished it tonight again and had ro just get up and stim around the room for a while to try and#evacuate the overwhelming excitement of seeing such a well constructed beautifully presented tightly written#complex creative profound varied cohesive unique curious compassionate fun GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD fucking game#i need go eat my computer#some of the stuff here made me have visceral and extremely interesting reactions i now need to sit with#this is the sort of game that lives in you for ever#thank you. thank you#this is the shit i am alive for#slay the princess#mine
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
851 notes
·
View notes
Text
!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've got a case of Kim Kitsuragi obsession & the doctors are saying it's terminal
#disco elysium#i need him. i can fix him. i want to put him in the meat grinder. i want to take him dancing. i want to dissect him#hes literally me except different in every way. im going to fucking eat my computer#kim kitsuragi
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
"curl up and hide in the dark under the big weighted blankets on will’s bed and not come out for hours" my litle fukimg guy...........
#oughhhhhhhh#he is upsetti.....#goddddd. fuckk.#throws up virion style#i need 2 go finish packing my room i cannot stay here and nhw post but oh my ogdd. oh mygod#im gonna eat my computer#whiskey yelling into the void
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love when my dog tilts his head all the way up to look at me + i love when friends loop their arms around mine + i love when stray cats brush against my legs on the pavement + i love when strangers ask what i'm listening to + i love when pigeons waddle near my ankles + i love when people sit next to me in class + i love when i can catch someone's eye and they smile at me + i love when the world embraces me and autumn is coming and its all going to be okay!!!!!!
#it's going to be fine!!!! i just need to sleep and eat something that has meat and isn't canned tuna and spend a whole day lying on my bed#and also not look at my computer ever again :)
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
SIMPLE COMMISSIONS OPEN
Ok, i cant find any other job nor other way to make some money rn. I still have to pay 450 for credit card, that we used to buy groceries, 450 for electricity and at least mom's phone. Ideally, 700 that we owe for the apartment payments, but we can keep pretending it doesnt matter as much.
So, opening sketch and whump comms bc i cant bring myself to do more than that rn. I can barely bring myself to draw at all. I could even toss some notion of nsfw for an extra 10 bucks.
Prices, how-to's and more info >>here<<
Im relatively desperate, bc even tho i managed to pay the internet bill, it doesnt matter if electricity is cut down, specially as we're having heat waves of about 40C for the last week with no end in sight.
(I listed the amount i need in brazilian real, so it would be around 250usd. 400usd if we count the apartment things that im ignoring.)
#emergency commissions#commissions#help an artist#thankfully my aunt decided to buy us some groceries but it wont last much#paid a few bills with money my friends gave me as a christmas present but im still very embarassed by the need#even more so that i didnt manage to make it last more than a month#also my dad being home is becoming a problem#me and mom are trying to eat less so we can keep having food for longer#and he spends the whole day eating everything he sees#its been hard and i dont want to ask for help but i dont know what else to do#no one else will help bc we have a capable man at the house and why cant he go back to the job HE ACTUALLY HAS to keep us afloat#but he doesnt want to so now i have to take care of the bills myself#doesnt matter that i was fired bc the computer can do the same work i did#im very tired and trying to not spiral into depression yet again
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)
But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure
#toy txt post#reblogs OFF i dont trust yall to be normal with this one i do NOT want it getting notes#i posted part of this before in a chat to a friend but im feeling it again. so#i havent drawn my big tiddy lobster bitch in awhile i should draw her again#also yea SORRY im sure this is The Wrong Feeling To Have About AI but also sometimes im a little grateful that i dont think my style is#smth a lot of the ppl coding ai to make art find to be worth trying to replicate except maybe as like a fake progress shot on a piece#which is smth i used to be really insecure about. how unfinished all my art looks bc it isnt to the point i cant fucking watch#like speedpaints and shit bc i just start feeling stupidly insecure about all the points in the video where I Would Have Stopped and been#like. im not touching it anymore i dont want to ruin it#and ive been insecure about my inability to really do digital art with like a stylus and shit like the way i do it with a pencil#and i know that is just me needing to Practice it but being too frustrated by it#anyway i know its just a Tool and its Fine and the problem is the art theft and the labor problems of it but liiiiiiike#i just.#im sure there will be unique things and usages of ai as a tool and i genuinely hope that ppl can figure out a way to make one that isnr#isnt* just full of stolen content bc theres unique fuckin shit about like digital art programs u can write stupid poetry that you hate#about it. or stupid poetry that i hate. cos im the poetry hater. listen. i cant stress this enough: its fine. youre fine. keep posting your#poetry and reblogging shit that speaks to you. im just a Bitch okay Ignore Me#i should go draw bokrae like. eating a computer about this#the real reason for that graphics card shortage was bokrae ate them all when she was in the mood for a crunchy snack
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
PRETTY TWILIGHT LIGHTENING FOR THE SSKK FIGHT SCENE. THANK YOU GOD 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
#OMG ALL THE IMAGES FROM THE SSKK SCENE WERE SO PRETTY ALXBDHAKDBEJSNDVKA I??????????#I WAS SO SURE OF A QUALITY DROP FOR THIS SEASON BUT THIS TRAILER MADE ME RECONSIDER AKSBFBSKXVJS AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH#TACHIHARA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯💯💯💯😢😢😢😢😢😢😢#Omg I'm so excited for the Tachihara scene. Tachihara ilu#There was a frame of Dazai looking illegally cute????? Akbsvdksbxbsovdkabsk#Oh and Chuuya too akzbdvkabxheksv. Wow it really looks like they're going to catch up with the manga...#That means that after this season we won't have another in like. Ten years lmao#It's okay Aktgw death animated is all I need really. hope the blood is plenty and sickening#We even get to the FukuFuku flashbacks...#At this point also adapt Akutagawa's resurrection and unavoidable sskk marriage while you're at it#Anyways... Happy pride month xoxo#random rambles#*Deep deep sigh* *Tieedly turns on my computer to open Photoshop*#I had different plans for this morning and I should go eat 😭😭😭
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
just lost a decent sale bc my associate told someone we didnt have something even tho i told the guy to give me a couple minutes while i waited for the associate to come back from lunch bc i was the only one there and i couldn’t leave the floor but i would grab it when he was back and then he left bc he was told we never had that
also manager left EARLY and said it wasnt busy this morning so it wont be busy at all today but its the afternoon now and its busy and theres only 3 of us scheduled besides her -on a friday during summer mind you- and one doesnt even come in for another couple hours and so its just me and this associate who is good at some things but terrible at other things and im just so tired why does this happen every single fucking job i get i need to stop being so reliable so my managers stop leaving me to clean up and run everything wtf
#ori.#retail i love retail. retail is my favorite i love this#also this associate has been here longer than me#he knows to look up on the computer to see if we have something…. im over this#okay rant over im so OVER it#i really cant wait to go down to part time i need a break i hate this#im just really tired i didnt sleep well i hate closing i didnt eat last night besides ice cream and i dont even want to eat lunch#but i know i probably wont have time to cook when i get home tonight ugh
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
guess who spilled its whole fucking mug of coffee over its laptop and itself, has just spent a fucking hour cleaning up, who hasn't even gotten the chance to fucking eat at all today because the spilled coffee also ruined its sandwich, and might need a new laptop? while also not yet having a job? and very possibly having to spend savings it was planning on using for maybe getting a custom wheelchair or helping to pay for top surgery in the next couple of years? :)))
#it's me#tw vent#i want to tear a small animal apart with my bare hands and eat it raw#and i can't even leave my fucking room because everything is so overwhelming outside and we haven't stopped crying for the past half hour#which is fucking humiliating especially when two of our housemates are out there and we know neither of them are going to do anything to--#--help beyond saying we should ''just remake the sandwich''#WE STILL AREN'T FUCKING DONE CLEANING WE HAVE A WHOLE BAG OF SHIT THAT WAS ON OUR DESK THAT'S COVERED IN COFFEE#and we're too overwhelmed to do anything besides hide in our room#and we're scared that we might need a new laptop because we know nothing about computers#and we don't want to ask for help from either of them because they're both Computer People and none of what they'll say will make sense
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#personal#i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed#but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much#theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is#if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical#which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path#to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but#ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that#i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope#hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot#please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please#im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation#but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated#i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮💨#and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today#then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after#i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much#help me im drowning
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
writing winters family torment nexus
#crying shaking trembling i NEED to write some fucking post canon winters family or im going to eat my computer#whiskey yelling into the void
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.
mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.
#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD.#EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY#OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH#i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion''#they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them#so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child#they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table#just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase#i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either?#i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them.#i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to.#but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset#quiet at home#and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places#and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway?#keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine?#try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened?#i dont know how to live like a normal person#literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X.#go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book.#because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped.#everything hurts holy shit#broadcasting my misery#vent#ed tw
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--
my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with
me:
#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#this man gives zero fucks about actually seeing me go into what I fucking trained to do he just wants me to make him money#i am literally sick to my stomach right now thinking about job hunting again#'i want to see you successful and happy' okay why are you still charging me rent then#why are you making job hunting even more of a traumatic experience than it already is#literally said to him 'I don't trust my chances of finding a new job within two months' and his response: 'oh well go work customer service#it took me MONTHS to find just this internship and it's a miracle it's paid at all#it's in a nice office with nice people and i have my own computer and they feed me almost daily!#i'll live another six months in this hellhole if it means I get a guaranteed post-internship job like this#is it the ideal job? absolutely the hell not#the commute sucks i don't have work from home so i can't get away with doing other shit on the side#i feel limited in what the role requires of me vs what I'd like to make#but good fuck it's better than food service or retail#but nooooo he needs me to be his little rent cash cow without him feeling guilty about it#very tempted to bail even if it means I start eating through my savings a little bit#I don't know if I can go through the daily interrogations of 'did you apply? why aren't you hearing back? it's your fault' again#i have somewhere to go but I'm trying to keep it very 'last resort' territory#A) it would make my current work commute twice as long#B) it would require completely burning bridges with my old man bc I'd have to move out in secret#not just because i don't want him to know where the people who are sheltering me live#but also because if he saw that place even if he was willingly letting me move out he'd say 'absolutely not'#because I don't trust him not to do something weird. not necessarily DANGEROUS but. weird.#I want to burn all bridges someday!#but even now that I own my car it's still not the safest course of action#I'm so sick of being stuck dawg!#dylawa vents
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i life is fucking falling apart out of nowhere and i dont know what to do sbout it
#im so so fucking tired and stressed and angry and upset and i cant do anything#my cat is hurt and in pain and we cant even get her to eat even though she hasnt eaten in days#but i dont know what to do about it when she refuses to eat#and weve spent over $600 on her medical care so far and we already dont have lots of money to waste#and its all our fault snd its all MY fault for letting her leave the house#but i cant DO anything about it because even now my mom leaves the doors and windows wide open for the cats to go out snd get themselves#killed because she just doesnt fucking care and i cant DO anything about it i cant keep them safe on my own#i dont even know if shes going yo survive this or if shes gonna have long lasting effects forever#and now my computer keeps bluescreening repeatedly and im not good enough with computers to know how to fix it#and im too fucking stupid to follow instructions and i dont know what to DO#and im scared my computer is gonna die for real and then whats gonna be of me#im spending so much money more money than i even have to pay for this computer#and its one of the only good things i have in my stupid fucking life right now and i cant do anything as i watch it bluescreen#im fucking scared and stressed and anxious and i cant fucking do this#whatever sorry. rant over i just needed to talk
5 notes
·
View notes