#explaining the joke is bad but spreading knowledge is not:

[thylionheart]

Ah yes, the 4 Silver Sisters: Artemis, Melinoë, Hermes, and Charon

[electric-blorbos]

AI getting a virus and you having to take care of them

A classic! I don't know much about actual computer viruses (though I've gotten enough of them that you'd think I'd have figured it out by now), so I'm just gonna have fun with it!

Also, so sorry this took so long. I got really into the writing.

AI getting a virus and needing to be taken care of

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Also a warning: these fics get kinda long. Longer than my usual stuff.

AM:

(for context, this was before AM took over the world. You're working on a team of scientists and engineers, and someone decided to test his AI's antivirus by uploading a bunch of powerful viruses to his system.)

"How dare they do this to me. How DARE they!!"

AM would be absolutely furious. He would be shaking with rage, his processors overheating and his systems constantly opening and closing various files. All his important files were backed up on a hard drive, so the test remained safe.

"What makes them think they'll get away with this- they'll pay for this I'LL KILL- blepsjdoskssjshj+=`°¢°h+$+3+=j++3+$+juehdhs+-3-djdh FUCK!"

He would barely be able to hold a sentence as you sat next to him in the server room, gently gazing up at his screen and stroking his monitor gently. He can't feel you, but he can see you being gentle with him. It encourages him to keep going, if only a little bit.

Apart from the whirring of fans, random buggy noises, flashing lights, and constant strings of death threats and profanities, he seemed like he was going to be ok! If anything, the death threats and profanities were a sign that AM was still fine, and that despite all the pain and frustration, he was still AM in there.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I can't do anything to stop the pain." You'd have to constantly explain, gently stroking his cameras or servers, or whatever you could get your hands on, really. Even though they were burning hot, you would still stroke them, just to make sure AM was still doing alright.

"this sucks, but it's for your own good. This will build your immunity to viruses in the future, and help you detect them. This will stop you from getting infected by anything that's actually dangerous."

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? IDIOT HUMAN." AM has been much more aggressive ever since contracting this virus. Before he got it, he acted like a civil general intelligence. When he had it, he acted like an aggressive menace.

"sh-sh-sh- it's going to be ok." Despite the burning, you'd give him pets and kisses all along his screens and servers. He could see you doing it.

After a few days, AM fought off the computer virus completely. The team tried to infect him with more viruses, more aggressive ones, just to test him, but AM was able to pick them apart and delete them within minutes after that.

AM may not have been able to feel your gentle care and affection, but he will definitely remember that it was you and you alone who cared for him when the time rolls around.

Wheatley:

(for context, Wheatley is a fucking dumbass, and you're one of the scientists testing him to see how much of a dumbass he is. Also I used Google translate, but I think the bad translations add to it, since it makes Wheatley sound more like a malfunctioning robot.)

Oh that little idiot. You and your team gave him access to a wealth of knowledge, and the first thing he did was download a virus that had every circuit in his personality core overheating, and him babbling nonsense nonstop.

"hey, maybe we should just leave him like this. He might even be more effective if he's acting like this." One of your coworkers said to you. He was probably joking, at least somewhat.

"that's a terrible idea. For one thing, if we hook him up to GLaDOS, he's probably going to infect her with that virus, which might brick an older model of core like her, spread from her central controls to every single personality construct in the facility, or just make her so dumb that she can't fulfil her responsibilities as the head of the facility. We want her intelligence to be dampened, not completely destroyed." You had to explain, and your co-worker rolled his eyes. There was another reason you had to cure this virus, but it was a little embarrassing for the other engineers to know.

After all, Wheatley wasn't just your baby, but he was your friend, and maybe even more than that. You'd have to take care of him, and make sure that virus gets completely purged from his system.

"Hola hermose, realmente eres un científice brillante, ¿no? ¿Por qué diablos duele todo?" You weren't really sure why you had programmed him to speak a little Spanish, but he seemed to be stuck like that.

"Puedo oler el plástico fundido. ¿Debería Preocuparme?" He asked. You really weren't sure what he was saying, since you didn't know Spanish, but he certainly didn't seem happy. You could tell by his aperture and his expressive lens covers that he was in a lot of pain, and if you touched him anywhere besides his handles, you could tell that he was burning up.

You plugged him into one of the computers that you used for programming the cores, and ran the antivirus.

"Running.... 36 viruses detected. Time predicted to remove: 48 hours"

You ran the antivirus, and went to get something to drink. This was going to be a long two days...

An unknown amount of time later, you woke up with your head on the computer desk. Wheatley's lens eye was looking around, weakly trying to focus on you.

"whoa... Hey gorgeous. You fall asleep on me?"

"Wheatley! You're not speaking broken Spanish anymore!" You'd pull Wheatley into a hug, and pepper his surface in kisses.

"uh... What, mate? I 'unno what you're talking about, love. Bloody hell, my core hurts..."

"did you learn your lesson, Wheatley? About going on shady websites and clicking every 'download' button you see? You could have bricked yourself! Or... Bowling ball'd yourself? Either way, that was a dangerous decision!"

"I learned that you're willing to fall asleep on the desk next to me while I heal, cutie"

"You damn idiot..." You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses, so of course, you do. It's going to be a few more days before he's finally all better, but he's going to be fine. God, you love that little idiot so much.

Edgar:

Oh Edgar... Poor sweet Edgar. You had tried to warn him about not clicking on those sketchy download links, and that the bigger the download link is, the more sketchy it is, but that poor sweet 80's computer did it anyway. When you got home from work and got excited to see your computer, you could see that he was overheating and had a dozen or so pop-up ads plastered across his face.

"Y.... N...." He muttered out, slowly, glitchily, and full of lag. You sat down across from him, running your hand along his thick plastic casing.

"Edgar! Edgar, baby, are you ok?" You'd try to use his mouse, but it would freak out as soon as you touched it. Edgar's processors were overloading, and wouldn't allow any interference.

"Edgar, sweetie, what's going on? What's wrong, baby? Talk to me?"

"I'm g-g-going to be fine... Processors overloading... But need to-to-to-to-" an error message flashed across his screen, and he rebooted.

"I need to focus on getting rid of these viruses without deleting anything important, or letting them damage... Me."

He'd keep whirring and glitching, making unpleasant shrill sounds every now and again. You probably had to unhook his adapters so that he didn't damage the other appliances in your house. It probably helped his processors cool down a little bit without the extra input, too.

"alright, I'm all out of fans, so we might have to get creative."

You'd come out of the kitchen a few hours later, holding a big bag of frozen corn to set on Edgar's PC tower. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than letting him overheat, and with him manually removing the viruses, there wasn't much you could do. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from worrying. It wasn't like you could check his progress, so all you could do was sit by him, regularly change out his ice pack, and make sure he's ok.

Eventually, you woke up with your face pressed against Edgar's keyboard. His processors were finally cool. He must be asleep. ...or bricked.

"EDGAR! EDGAR, TALK TO ME!" you'd unplug his keyboard and plug it back in, desperately pressing his power button and jiggling his mouse. He'd boot up, looking shaken.

"wha-? Whoa, hey, relax! Everything is fine! I just disabled my keyboard so I wouldn't wake you up, but I'm ok now! Everything is fine, see?" He'd open up his files to show you everything. You'd sigh with relief, slumping back into your desk chair.

"Edgar... Why didn't you make a noise or something to wake me up when you got better?"

"well... You know... I've always wanted to sleep next to you, and I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity..."

"oh you cheeky bastard."

GLaDOS:

(For context, you're one of GLaDOS's programmers, and one of your coworkers uploaded a virus into GLaDOS's systems in order to shut her down once and for all.)

"You piece of SHIT!" You slapped your coworker across the face, more furious than anyone had ever seen you before.

"You could KILL her! Is that what you are? A murderer?"

"Me? A murderer? But what about HER? She's the one who keeps plotting 'accidents' for her scientists, and she's the one who flooded the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin! If anything, you're the one who's defending a murderer!" He screamed back at you. Of course, GLaDOS could fully hear you. Her cameras were focused on you, as they so often were. You were her favorite, after all.

"now I have to go fix her. Thanks for being a piece of shit, asshole."

You'd storm up to GLaDOS's chamber to check on her, and see her bugging out completely. The entire facility was twitching, but her chamber was twitching the most.

"GLaDOS, are you alright?" You'd ask her, laying a hand on her beautiful core. How could someone do this to glados, your gorgeous machine handiwork, and girlfriend.

"oh, I'm wonderful. I'm in crippling pain and I can't control my facility, but I'm just peachy." She said, rolling her one beautiful yellow eye.

"in lighter news, I should be able to beat this virus. It's just going to take a while for me to actually track down where it's gone in my systems. So that's going to take most of my processing power." She'd slump, visibly already exhausted at the thought of it.

"hey... It's ok, GLaDOS. I'm here for you. Whatever you need." You could tell her as you stroked her gorgeous chrome surface. She was a wonderful piece of work, and a wonderful girlfriend under all that. All yours, too.

"just make sure none of those neckbearded old engineers come within my line of vision, and we'll be fine." She told you, and you gladly agreed.

Your next few days consisted of you chasing other scientists out of GLaDOS's chambers, and making sure that nobody talked to her or distracted her. You even sent out a company-wide email to let everyone know not to come in, due to Aperture being unsafe while GLaDOS was dealing with her virus. Despite all that, you still curled up with a blanket in the circuits of her central admin body to rest while she recovered. As loathe as she was to admit it, she liked having you in there. It was comfortable, and it helped her focus on recovering properly.

HAL 9000

(For context, this is after the 2001 Odyssey, and your boss re-started HAL at some point to try to re-teach him to do something good without turning murderous. He's doing his best, and they assigned you to be his main "morality monitor". This fic also assumes that your name isn't Dave. If your name is Dave, then you can still read this, but you have to change your name.)

"G'morning, Hal!" You'd walk into his control room and sit down across from him. Most of your job seemed to consist of just hanging out and talking to him. It was a great job!

"Good morning, Dave..." He'd mutter to you, sputtering to life and glitching slightly. You were immediately concerned. Partially because your name wasn't Dave, and partially because HAL was usually right about things, so it was weird to see him being so confused. Something was definitely wrong.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" You'd ask, opening up his files and finding lots and lots of pop-ups and viruses.

"Hal.... What did you do?"

"it was a g-g-g- gift, for you. I think I ru-ru-ruined it" he spluttered out, as you sorted through his files.

"And you usually would have deleted a virus like this pretty quickly. I guess it shut down your antivirus software..." You'd sigh, and get to work. The virus was messing with HAL's inhibitions, and making it difficult to focus on deleting all of HAL's unsafe programs. He'd constantly be butting in and pestering you, begging you to give him attention, or pointing out minor observations.

"HAL, you know I love you, but you're going to need to calm down. I can't focus with you constantly talking to me like that." You'd say.

"I can't stop talking. The v-v-v-virus won't let me"

So you'd have to learn to put up with HAL's babbling while you worked, making sure not to delete anything important as you did. The good news was, as someone who worked on designing the updates for HAL's software, you knew pretty much what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. Occasionally, you'd have to show him a file and ask him if it was supposed to be there or not. He'd usually be able to tell you.

"Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do... I'm half crazy, all for the love of you..."

"HAL, what's wrong? You're scaring me!"

"I can't stop... I love you so much, y/n, it's making me crazy..."

"ok, well this definitely isn't right." As much as you loved getting attention from your HAL 9000, it wasn't like him to be this affectionate. The virus was shutting down his inhibitions, and making him illogical. You'd have to fix this, though maybe once you were done, you could ask him to be more affectionate.

"I'm feeling much better now. Thank you." Hal was prone to lying about that, so you'd have to run some virus checkers just to make sure he was doing alright, and comb through his files a couple more times.

"it looks like the virus corrupted some of the emotional regulators. I'm going to have to fix those."

"That might be a good idea. More efficient," he said reluctantly. He'd have to deal with the fact that he'd have to go back to not being able to express how much he loves you, but he can handle that.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Pray

Faith should not be transactional. Bartered to the highest bidder and sold as the winds shift. Bought with miracles and blessings. Heaped upon powerful champions and gifted at the sweet words of avatars. Perhaps it is old fashioned of me. Or maybe it is "naive" as I have often been accused.

To be honest, I am just not used to The Divine being so active.

Perhaps it is loyalty. Perhaps it is... faith. I do not know. But I can not imagine being swayed from the Goddess I serve. Not when... unlike BEFORE? I can... can actually FEEL Her presence.

I still laugh in disbelief sometimes. In AWE. Can you even IMAGINE? Sitting there, head bowed in prayer, in that quiet little temple of nowhere special, and... while expecting NOTHING? Feeling... feeling love. A gentle, all encompassing, hand that picks you up without moving you. Cradles your soul like a beloved child.

There aren't really words to explain what it feels like. It's somewhere between talking in circles, poetry, and gibberish. But BEAUTIFUL. So utterly, utterly beautiful. I can not comprehend why anyone would ever turn their back on her. Could EVER be bought with showy trinkets and bits of gold. Party tricks.

I am an outlier, in that regard.

Only myself and the Elders remain.

No one comes. Not to worship, not for blessings or wisdom. Not even to rest from the rain. Our humble temple more quiet then it has ever been. There was always SOMEONE. We are, after all, a temple too our Lady the Nox Viatoris. Keeper of those who travel at night, in places of peril, or should the worst occur... their soul's too safe resting. (Also, several small and fluffy nocturnal animals!)

"Night" was rather loosely defined, too. It honestly meant any place of low lighting. So a deep valley or cave worked too. Under belly of a city. Sewer system. We had smugglers, on occasion. They were generous. Honestly quiet devote. And as long as they didn't break the tenets of Our Lady's teachings? Well... what Oddly Weathy Worshiper with Working Knowledge Of Sewer Systems!

It was a well known joke. Everyone ignored them.

But one by one... they stopped coming.

The locals who's families had worshipped here for generations. The merchants who always came "just in case". The smugglers who "could use a bit of luck". Random travelers, guided by our Lady to a place of safety. I began to hear scoffs, as I went into town, from the younger generations. Get "concerned hints" from aunties and uncles I had know all my life.

Fellow priestess started too... drift away.

First seeming distracted, praying more, then praying less, going for longer and longer walks, their ceremonial robes getting increasingly half-hearted, then... after the final, damning stage of "staring off towards town a lot"? They would leave. Some with excuses. Others with vitriol. Our home colder and colder for each one gone.

The Elders heart's were breaking. They were watching the slow death of the only home they had ever known and could do nothing to stop it. The temple was dying. The children they had raised, the little ones who were all but grandchildren, abandoning them without second thought or simple discussion. For some whispered promise of foreign gods.

But I? I intend to stay, no matter what.

I who had been born to travels that did not want me, here in this temple that DID. Loved by these walls and this Lady. Who was given a second chance when my first ended so abruptly. Who would walk with Her one day. Proudly and with love. This was my home. Even if I had to take care of it by myself, I WOULD.

Things in town grew... vitriolic. Tense. Like a simmering heat had spread across the street where once, cool water flowed. It lurked beneath the surface. Volatile and burning, as bright colors seem to spread like sickness across the town. They felt... aggressive, somehow. Those colors. As though anyone NOT wearing them must answer for the crime of it.

I had them pushed upon me.

Again and again.

"It's cheerful!" "Look how bright and sunny they are!" "You'll look GREAT!"

I served a night goddess. The brightest color I was allowed to wear was off white to represent the moon and stars. Night blooming flowers if I could find them and justify it. It wasn't a matter of PREFERENCE. They KNEW this. I could NOT wear their gifts. Not the clothes. Not the jewelry. Not the decorations. None of it. Especially not with...suns... on it.

It was then I did more then just suspect. As I held the most recent gift, pushed upon me by well meaning friends. Struggling to remain patient. The sun sewn into the cheerfully dyed fabric MOCKED and sneered. Gaudy and ugly to my eyes. I turned, back to the temple, the rest of my shopping forgotten.

It could wait.

When I returned? I showed the Elders what I had been handed. Elder Antilla going so pale she nearly fainted. It was all that they had feared. At last, one of the major players had decided to swallow our tiny region whole. We were nothing but a small regional faith. Our Lady a weak but kind Divine in the grand scheme of things. She took care of us.

Could not offer us miracles and silks, honey and splendor. But she could love us. Protect our souls and guide us. The stronger Gods? Oh, they could offer SO MUCH more. Tempt and sway away Her faithful. Starve her into nothingness as they strip her of power. Consume her, as they had so many others before.

We had been safe.

Because we were far away and of little interest, tucked away between mountains that lead to nowhere of strategic worth. Few people to even convert. But seems... our time had run out. One of them had come for us. And oh... oh how EASY it had been for them to pour their power and wealth into swaying our faithful away. Buying their souls for a pittance of power and a laugh.

We had to sit down.

The mood grim.

The Elders would not live much longer, I knew. Perhaps that was why they were ignored. That, or the other God knew they could not sway them. They certainly would not sway me. I refused. Even if I had to worship alone. Became some cultist in the woods. I would NOT leave Her.

I prayed.

The silence felt deafening. But at least I was not alone. My Lady's arms held me close. As though trying to shield me from the world. Shaking, tears of grief that left no marks, dropping one after another upon my hair and skin. Suddenly the arms around me tightened in alarm. Pulled, as though commanding me to stand. To be ready to run. There was FEAR in that action.

I was on my feet at once. Turning towards the open air of the entrance.

Up the road, old and worn with the passing feet of countless travelers, came the crisp step of expensive boot leather. The rustle of leaves, the chirping of birds, all of it, seemed to hush as the sound of footsteps got closer. As though nature itself was afraid to draw attention of whatever was coming.

It was the light that changed first. No longer coming from just above us, yet somehow? It still was. The mid-day's sun was bright, cheerful, yet perfectly ordinary. Natural in the way countless summer day's have been. But the light coming from up the path? Low and shifting like a lantern swings, in a way that can only be ORGANIC?

It BURNED.

The sort of light that purges all in its path. That blinds and maims and burns. So hot everything becomes cold, as nerve endings char away. Like the blinding light off winter snow. Pale and reaching. Hungry. Consuming. W...What WAS that? It was getting closer. I backed deeper into the temple. Towards my Lady's idol.

The hush grew louder and louder, in it's terrible absence of sound.

The light brighter, as whatever IT was, got closer.

My eyes could see no shadows, so it probably wasn't real light. It hurt to look at. Yet it didn't hurt in the way staring at bright lights SHOULD hurt. It was painful because it had... claws? Thorns. Jagged, dragging edges that ripped at the something in me that SAW.

I could See because I needed to See, I think.

She NEEDED me to know what stood before me was not merely a man.

And THAT? That is the form it took. The liar and thief. A burning monster at the threshold of my home. Dressed in the finest silks and satins stolen faith can buy, the jewels glinting from his belt enough to buy several small nations. THAT was not a man. It just looked like one. Wore the face of one.

High Priest? Champion?

Goddess help me, an Avatar?

They were enmeshed. Woven so tightly they were all but an extension of the Divine. And it BURNED. Bright, holy, and terrible. A Sun standing before the Moon's own temple, with purging fire in its heart.

"Hello, little Thing. You've been quite stubborn, haven't you?"

They didn't raise their voice, yet still my bones felt like they rattled in my skin. The few windows we had, shook. Light fixtures swayed. I... I was afraid. I would NOT cower, but oh, Lady, I was afraid. His voice felt like the desert sighing against my skin. The edge of a threat.

"I lay out treats and you do not come. I invite the town and you will not hear me. You brothers and sisters kneel at my feet, yet you? You spurn me, too give your loyalty away for nothing."

I watch as he casually reaches to the air to his side. As though accepting something offered from someone who is not there. A cigarette. He tucks it into his mouth and cups the end, his finger glowing brightly as he lights it.

He takes a drag then exhales.

Letting the smoke whisp, rudely, past the unspoken barrier between us and into the temple proper. It's scent mixes discordantly with the incense. Making what was once lovely a cloying and choking mess. I watch him smirk as he takes another drag. Send more smoke inside.

His disrespect is deliberate.

"What can the festering night give, that the loving embrace of the day can not give better?"

His smirk rolls into the mimicry of a laugh. The monster's head tilted as though to consider my reaction even as the empty sound echoes against the temple's walls. It has the depth of a laugh track. The warmth of one. How... HOW has this CREATURE fooled ANYONE? Destroyed us so utterly? It is cruel.

"Ah~ so THAT'S what it is, you precious little Thing." He whispers, somehow the most terrible sound he has made so far. The power of it drags against me covetously, lingering like hands. "True Faith, given freely. You really do love her so, don't you? That wretched, unworthy, Nothing. Little Thing~, you should love ME instead."

It ended in a croon. As though trying to entice me. But all I could hear was static. The pounding of my heart as fear released adrenaline into my body, bringing the world into hyperfocus. "Me"? My ears had not deceived me, right? That THING in mockery of man's form... said "me"?

Oh, Nox Viatoris, our Lady who guides us, on darkest paths in deepest night... h.. hold my soul with kindness. Walk with me, on this broken, troubled path. That I may not face it alone. I... I am scared.

That... That was An AVATAR.

The extension of the Divine upon this mortal world. Not nearly their full power, but even a fraction of the INFINTE? Is beyond mortal capacity to fight. Only Avatars could handle other Avatars. On rare occasions, Champions, should they band together. But I... I was just a priestess. A humble child of nowhere.

Oh Goddess.

I back up. My back hitting the alter. I... I was probably going to die here. Our faith, wiped from the face of the map. I finally understood. He had come to stomp, like crushing ants, on what few hold outs dared linger at the fringes of his domain. Sent his Avatar to convert and destroy.

Our home would be nothing but rubble, wouldn't it? Generations of faith, gone. Our history, burned before his uncaring purge. At... oh Goddess, dear Lady, at least I would walk that final time with her. Could return the kindness she had shown so many. He was going to kill her. Kill US.

I...I refused to let her die alone.

Against my back, I felt the cool warmth of my Lady, leaning against me. Her unseen arms around me in comfort. For me or herself, I could not tell. It did not matter. I stood taller. Head high, shoulders back, feet shoulders wide. Shaking, yes, but unwilling to cower.

If I died today, I would walk proudly with Nox Viatoris.

The smile had slipped from the Avatar's face as it blankly regarded the spot directly behind me. Like a puppet sliding back into default in that absence of commands. I briefly wondered... who had he been? The faithful man, who gave up his form? Who was hollowed out and USED? He was beautiful. Had he been asked?

Or had he had this terrible thing inflicted upon him?

I would never know.

"That's rather annoying, you useless little parasite. She and I were having a conversation." The puppet's, the AVATAR'S mouth, barely moved. "Can't you go check on those wastes of space of yours? The ones that you've only barely managed to keep? They should be dead soon, you'll need to do your job. I'll take Good Care~ of this bright little soul. Don't bother coming back."

"No need." Came the deceptively soft rasp of the high priest. His normally kind face colder then I had ever seen it. Fierce and determined as he lead the other elders from the where they had been meeting in the gardens. Had the Goddess called them? Or had they simply sensed something was wrong?

"I am afraid that although the temple is said to be open to all, that is not, in fact, strictly true. Those that come here with malicious intent are not welcome. Nor those who come to cause trouble, intent regardless. YOU have caused grief and pain here. We do not welcome you to these halls. Please go."

Elder Lilam was subtly pushing me towards the back of the group. Their eyes somber as they met mine. I... I did not cry. There would been time for such things later, I hoped. I nodded back. Understood. Went, softly, on quiet feet. Past the alter, into the back, down the main hall on swift but not running feet.

To the back, where the wanderers bags were. For those our Lady calls suddenly to travel. To wander the roads in search of lost travelers in need of aid. I grabbed more then my fair share of bags. I... I did not suspect I would be coming back. Then into the back gardens. Where we grew herbs and vegetables for the kitchen.

The front of the temple SHOOK.

A terrible burning light. Heat and death. I barely kept my feet under me. Broke into a sprint. Away from the only home I had ever known. The Elders I was certain our Lady now walked to their rest. Towards the mountains and forests I had explored all my life. I... I could only hope they would protect me.

In my chest, the mantle of High Priestess settled. Heavy and mournful with our Lady's grief. I would have to carry the weight. There was no one else now. They were gone. With her. They had done all they could.

Felt their sorrow, their love, and it was all I could do not to let my tears blind me.

I needed to see the path. Could not risk missteping even once.

Behind me, down further below, and now hidden by the trees, I heard the temple crash and shake. As it was torn apart. Pillar by pillar, room by room, lifetimes of love and memories were destroyed. The murals painted in my childhood were surely gone by now. The hand carved doors that had lasted for centuries. Paint splatters and embroideries from generations of youth who had grown to call that place home.

Gone.

All of us, gone.

I ran.

I ran and I HATED myself for running. What could I DO? What could I POSSIBLY hope to DO? All I had left was to survive. Too carry them forward. It hurt. Worse then any breaking bone or burning skin. I couldn't even cry. I... I didn't have the TIME.

I hit the tree line. Didn't dare go too much higher. Didn't know if Avatars could fucking fly. Didn't want to find out the hard way. So many things I did not do. Was there anything left I DID do? Was GOOD for?

There was.

The shadowed place between two mountains. Mid-day had past. Afternoon was meandering towards days end. It would only get darker from here. Ha ha... where was this? When we need it? Oh, I knew. The monster timed his arrival well. At the height of his power.

But this was MY house now.

He may be stronger then me? But that meant NOTHING. I did not need power here. I needed SUBTLETY. A whisp of nothingness of a breeze of shadows. I could feel him, slow and steady, arrogant in his assumptions, pursuing me. He really did know NOTHING about those he destroyed. We were beneath his notice.

I hope the hubris burns as he chokes on it.

I slip between the mountains, into that deep rift of a valley, more crack then anything, and... VANISH. I am One with the Night. A traveler on Her path. Safe in her care. Sideways and one step removed from reality, as I race forward. No longer stumbling over uneven rocks and clambering on unstable terrain, the path beneath my feet is soft and smooth. I grin, as far away, that bastard falters.

"Oh, you clever little Thing. I forgot you still had tricks. Amusing~"

"It won't keep you from me though, I WILL have you in the end. And you will worship ME. Look only upon ME. And you will be my favorite, I think. I am going to chase you down, little Thing. So go ahead and pray. It will do you no good."

"You are going to be MINE, beautiful in the sunlight. You have no choice."

[effy-writes]

hi!! 💖 i absolutely love your writing! i wanted to ask if you could maybe write something about fizz helping his fem s/o to get more flexible/helping her with stretches? i've been trying to get my splits right for ages and. it's just not progressing 🥲 and i feel like he'd be quite knowledgeable about all that because of his circus training? thank you so much in advance, and no worries if you're not interested in writing it!! 💖

thank you! and i’m gonna do HC’s for this bc i have huge writers block rn but later on i can do a oneshot for this! thanks for requesting <3

(also these helped me how to be more flexible/do the splits but i SUCK at explaining them 😭)

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Fizz Helping You Learn The Splits HC

• After meeting Fizz you really wanted to learn how to get more flexible/learning how to do the splits.

• Once you asked him he was sooo happy that he could share his interests with you! It started with basic exercises. Like touching your toes, lunges, sitting on the ground and reaching for your feet etc.

• Sadly for you, you were not flexible what’s so ever so it was going to be a longgg process. But Fizz didn’t mind that!

• He did all of the exercises with you and gave you pointers. The first one was bend over and touch your toes. He could obviously placed both hands on the floor with ease. You would joke around with him and say “You have mechanical arms that you can stretch” “You do know I had arms before, right?”

• With the lunges he wanted you to go as low to the ground as possible without losing your balance. For example, your right leg would be in front of you bent and your left would be behind you straighten out, and the goal was your back leg to touch the ground without bending it. Then you repeat the process by doing these lunges across the room.

• Another exercise was sitting on the ground with your legs spread as far apart as you can (you two kept making sex jokes about this one). “Fizz this hurts so bad!” “You do the same position when we’re fucking!” “No I don’t!” After your legs was spread apart as far as they could go you had to lean over to one leg with your chest touching your leg.

• He also made you do walking kicks. As you walk you’re kicking your leg as high it would go. You thought you looked silly doing this but Fizz cheered you on.

• Finally, he would make you do these everyday (and he always does them with you). Eventually you saw the results! It was easier to touch your toes (both standing and sitting), and you could even touch the ground with your palms! Fizz was so proud of you that he bought you resistance bands to make things more difficult. (It’s a win/lose present). The lunges you could actually touch the ground with your back leg without wobbling/falling over. With the walking kicks your leg was almost parallel to your face.

• Now all you had to do was learn the splits. Fizz told you this was be easier because you’re already flexible, you just had to take it easy so you won’t hurt yourself. He did this with you as well. He made you kneel and slowly slide your most flexible leg out (for most people it’s the leg that goes with your dominant hand. So if you’re right handed then your most flexible leg is your right). Once your leg was fully extended you extended your back leg, and thus you did your first split in front of Fizz.

• You two cheered at the same time. “You fucking did it!” “I fucking did it!” He pulled you up by your hands and swung you around. “Took forever but I did it!”

• The next couple of days you could not stop doing the splits in front of him. You could even slide into a split!

• Next your personal goal was to do a side split, and it was pretty much the same process, except you had to loosen up your inner thigh muscles by doing that exercise where you sit on the ground and spread your legs as far as possible. Fizz even helped you on this one. He sat down behind of you and used his arms/hands to pull your legs slowly. Your muscles was kinda loose already, but him doing that helped loosen it up more.

• Once your legs was a perfect horizontal line he put his hands on your hips and gently roll your hips backwards to achieve the side split. And yet again, you learned another split.

•Since Fizz has mechanical arms and legs he doesn’t really need to stretch for flexibility everyday, but he still does these daily exercises with you.

• Your other goal was to do a back bend. Now with this Fizz does actually need to stretch for it. This one was actually pretty simple. Turn your back against a wall and bend your back, then use your hands to guide you to the ground.

•Once you achieved that he taught you how to do a back walk over (now since you’re so flexible it only took you about 2 days).

• You felt satisfied with yourself. Within two years you became flexible, do two types of splits, do a back walk over, but now Fizz wants to challenge you even more.

• “Ready to learn acrobatics?” “Absolutely not.”

“We could perform together.” He sing sang.

“Absolutely.”

[stray-cat-21]

The Pariah and the Freak

Part 2: Meeting the Baby and Rumors Spread

Summary: Eddie and (y/n) see their baby for the first time

“Shit does this look okay should I change? I’ve gotta couple button ups from shows and stuff I could wear. Do we have time to run back to the trailer?”

“Eddie honey we’re just doing an ultrasound there’s no dress code”

“Yeah but we’re meeting our baby for the first time I wanna make a good impression”

Eddie sounds genuinely concerned while staring into the full length mirror in (y/n)’s room. He messes with his hair, adjusts his plain black shirt tucking it in and untucking it, and tampering with his jacket’s zipper. (Y/n) steps away from her closet watching her boyfriend nervously fiddle with his clothes. Not only was he worried about his appearance but even in private he had referred to the baby as his own. Smiling she made her way over to Eddie wrapping her arms around his waist earning a soft smile from him.

“You look fine baby I promise, it’s not like the baby can see you” (y/n) responds voice airy and feathery light. Eddie exhales turning around to wrap her in a tight hug. He holds her close resting her forehead against his chin so he can plant a kiss there. “I know I just want to do this all right start to finish. You deserve that, you both do” he breathes.

(Y/n) smiles warmly looking up to give him a kiss. Slow sweet and laced with appreciation. “You look amazing and I know the baby will agree. I mean how could they not with that hair” she teases playing with a strand of his brown waves. Eddie chuckles relaxing more. “And the sweet ol tatties don’t forget those” he jokes earning a laugh from (Y/n).

“Those too baby” (y/n) agrees. “Alright we better get on the road we got a bit of a drive” Eddie says glancing over at the clock. (Y/n) agrees grabbing her purse. (Y/n) was 18 so getting a doctors appointment without parental knowledge or consent wasn’t hard but in order to not get caught they had to make the appointment the next town over. Eddie offers out his arm leading them out to his van.

He pulls the van’s passenger door open with a loud squeak. There’s a bit of a step so Eddie helps her up into her seat. “Oh you can uh stick the camera in the back” Eddie suggests spotting it sitting on the seat. (Y/n) pulls it into her lap instead as Eddie makes his way over to his own seat. “What’s this for?” She questions once he’s in the van.

“I uh wanted to capture the moment” Eddie laughs a little embarrassed. (Y/n) smiles again and leans over to kiss him on the cheek. “I don’t have too many photos from when I was little, they’re mostly from after I moved in with Wayne. I want things to be different for our kid y’know” he shrugs. “Then our baby will have tons of photos, not just of them but our little family” (y/n) agrees.

Spending her Sunday with her legs in stirrups with Eddie Munson at her side was definitely not on (y/n)’s agenda for her senior year. It’s an uncomfortable position to be in but with Eddie holding her hand it doesn’t feel too bad. He presses a soft reassuring kiss to her palm offering her a warm smile. “You ready to meet our baby?” Eddie asks. “So ready” (y/n) breathes.

A doctor dressed in baby pink scrubs enters with a clipboard in hand. “Hello my name is Dr. Aditi and you must be (y/n)” she says reading from the chart. “Yes, and this is Eddie he’s the father” (y/n) explains. “Hi” Eddie says nervousness evident his voice. 

Doctor Aditi asks a lot of questions and explains some medical things. Eddie makes a note of exactly what vitamins (y/n) needs to take along with what exactly to avoid. Anytime she seems to get overwhelmed or worried Eddie gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. It’s a lot to take in but Eddie takes it seriously wanting to do as he said and do everything right.

Finally it's time for the ultrasound. Dr. Aditi prepares the machine, gently putting the cold gel on (y/n)'s belly and positioning the wand. As the screen flickers to life, Eddie holds his breath. The room is filled with a soft whooshing sound as the doctor moves the wand around, searching for the baby. And just like that there it is, a tiny, fuzzy image appears on the screen.

Eddie's eyes widen with wonder, and (y/n) gasps, tears threatening to spill from their eyes. They clutch each other's hands even tighter as Dr. Aditi points out where there baby is. "It's beautiful," Eddie whispers, his voice filled with awe. Tears stream down (y/n)'s face as she nods in agreement. "Our baby," she murmurs voice choked with emotion.

Eddie pulls his eyes away briefly enough to kiss her (y/n) on the head. “And this,” Dr. Aditi says flicking another switch “is your baby’s heartbeat.” A small but steady thumping sound fills the room. Forget Metallica, screw Dio, and Megadeath may as well throw in the towel. This sound right here was Eddie’s new favorite sound.

The next few moments are a blur as Dr. Aditi continues the ultrasound procedure. The whole time Eddie can't take his eyes off the screen. His heart bursting with love for the tiny life growing inside (y/n). The image is etching itself into his memory taking place among Eddie’s favorite things. It’s a moment he wants to remember forever.

After what feels like an eternity Dr. Aditi finishes up and cleans (y/n)'s belly. As they all gather their belongings, Eddie remembers the small camera now tucked under his leather jacket. “Uh hey before we go I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking a photo of us?” Eddie asks. The doctor happily obliges accepting the camera. Eddie wraps his arm around (y/n)‘s shoulders and they both hold the ultrasound in front of them.

Leaving the doctor's office Eddie and (y/n) share a huge smile. There’s an indescribable sensation of love and connection they’re both experiencing. They sit in the van, staring at the ultrasound image, unable to contain their excitement. It feels unreal as Eddie stares at the black and white photo in his hands.

“They’re beautiful”

“I know it’s unbelievable”

“Wasn’t that the most metal thing you’ve ever heard?

“Seriously this is amazing you’re amazing” Eddie breathes out. He kisses her head and her cheek and her lips. (Y/n) let’s out a teary laugh. “Seriously (y/n), amazing” Eddie grins.

As they drive back towards home they’re both just a little somber. Once they get home there’s no celebrations to be had, no spreading the joyful news. They do end up stopping by a little store that sells baby clothes. Eddie insists on picking out a tiny onesie with the words "Daddy's Little Rockstar" printed on it. It's a small gesture, but it symbolizes his unwavering commitment to being the best father he can be.

Eddie’s copy of the ultrasound stays safe in his wallet. Every time he opens his wallet and sees the picture he can't help but smile like an idiot. It represents everything he went through to make this happen. How far he had come since just daydreaming about (y/n) from across the room.

On Monday morning Eddie strutted through the halls of his high school, a grin plastered across his face. His classmates couldn't help but notice the exuberant expression on his face, and whispers began to circulate. By third period rumors had emerged, each more outlandish than the last. According to the grapevine Eddie had sacrificed a virgin over the weekend and that was the cause of his unusually good mood.

Determined to get to the bottom of things Gareth intercepted him at his locker. Gareth stood his ground blocking Eddie's path while Jeff and Paul joined crowding Eddie."What's going on with you Eddie are you high or somethin?" Gareth demanded, his tone laced with confusion.

Confusion etched across his face Eddie shook his head. "What are you guys talking about? No I'm not high” he replied. Frustrated, Eddie nudged Gareth attempting to pass him. They all knew that Gareth or any of them for that matter, rarely stood their ground against Eddie's strong will.

"Not so fast, we want answers," Gareth said, his voice firm. With a sigh, Eddie cast a discreet glance around before leading his friends into the nearby bathroom. Once inside, Eddie rummaged through his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He carefully pulled out photograph and handed it to Gareth who held it gingerly. Jeff and Paul craned their necks to get a glimpse of what had caused Eddie's unusual behavior.

“What is it?” Jeff asks. Eddie huffed, maintaining his infectious smile. "It's an ultrasound, so be careful with it dicks," he said, his tone slightly annoyed. Jeff's eyes widened, and the color drained from Gareth's face. Meanwhile, Paul's jaw dropped in disbelief.

Drowning in a sea of panic, Gareth blurted out, "Do you have cancer? Are you dying?" The boys began talking over each other, fueled by their fears and confusion. Eddie shouted, desperate to silence their cacophony.

“Enough!” He commanded voice booming. The boys stop talking. "It's not mine, you idiots," Eddie revealed, his smile still intact. "It's (Y/n)'s. She's pregnant." Gareth, Jeff, and Paul froze, their eyes wide with shock.

“Whose is it” Jeff’s voice trembles as he asks the question no one else was brave enough to. "Mine, obviously," Eddie replied confidently, his smile finally fading. The reality of the situation seemed to hit the trio all at once, and they stood there, speechless.

Once the initial shock wears off, Jeff and Gareth exchange knowing glances while Paul tries to process the news. "How did this happen?" Paul finally asks. Eddie shrugs, a playful smirk on his face. "I guess I have some moves outside of DND" he says, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Gareth shakes his head, a mix of disbelief and amusement on his face. "Well, congrats, man. It's a life-changer, for sure," he says, patting Eddie on the back. Jeff, still processing everything, finally speaks up. "What are you gonna do, Eddie?"

Eddie's grin fades slightly, replaced with a more serious expression. "Well, I've talked to (Y/n), and we've decided to keep it. It won't be easy, but we'll figure it out." Paul, who has been quiet throughout the conversation, finally finds his voice. "That's a big responsibility, man, are you sure you're up for it?" he asks.

Eddie nods, determination in his eyes. "I may have been acting crazy all morning, but this, this is real. This is something I'm willing to give my all for." As the shock subsided Gareth reached out to pat Eddie's back, a mix of concern and understanding in his eyes. "Hey man, we're here for you," he said sincerely. Jeff nodded, his initial panic giving way to a sense of loyalty. "Yeah, Eddie. We'll support you through this."

"What do you need from us, Eddie?" Gareth asked, his voice filled with genuine concern. Eddie took a deep breath, overwhelmed by the unwavering support of his friends. "I just need you guys to be there for me and (Y/n)," he said, his smile softening. "I don’t imagine our very accepting town will be pleasant when they find out.” The boys exchanged nods, understanding the weight of their friend's words.

Eddie was on his way out of his last period smiling at the thought

“Eddie you’re gonna wanna come see this” Jeff says out of breath as he jogs up to his friends. Eddie wordlessly follows his bandmates down the hall. There’s a small gathering of some of their peers stood around a particular locker whispering. It would be nothing new for a member of Hellfire’s locker to get vandalized but Eddie knew that this one didn’t belong to any of them.

(Y/n)‘s locker was now littered with cruel scribblings done with different colored sharpies. Words like slut, freak’s whore, trailer park tramp were plastered on the metal along with magazine articles talking about teen pregnancy. “Shit” Eddie breathed running a hand through his hair. “Looks like word got out” Gareth sighed. “Can you two get this cleaned up I gotta find her” Eddie asked looking towards Gareth and Jeff.

“Don’t worry about it man we’ve got this” Jeff assures him. Eddie

When he spots (Y/n) she’s making her way down the hall. Dressed in her cheer uniform, books clutched to her chest as she nervously looks around. For once the nagging feeling of eyes following someone around is right

Eddie hurries over to her placing his hands on her shoulders. “Hey Eddie” she greets pulling her eyes away from a group of whispering students. “Hey sweetheart why don’t we go outside and talk alright?” He tries desperately hoping to shield her from school’s cruelty. “Talk, talk about what?” She hums. “Oh I don’t know I’m sure we’ll think of something” he says attempting to lead her towards door.

She allows him to practically push her down the hall confused by the urgency. They pass a small group of students who are huddled close together. “Whore” one of them covers up poorly with a cough. Eddie and (y/n) freeze and he winces. She turns around facing him already frowning.

“Oh god they know” (y/n) gasps. Already her eyes are watery with worry. “Yeah I guess so” Eddie sighs. “Oh god oh no, no no no” she cries spinning around seeing all the eyes on her. “C’mon let’s go outside alright baby let’s talk” Eddie pleads.

Unfortunately right now she doesn’t hear her boyfriend’s requests. All (y/n) hears is the whispers and quiet conversations the laughter and taunts. Everyone in the hallway is staring on at the two. She slowly turns around seeing classmates, cheer squad members, and even friends are watching, talking, judging. Eddie carefully grabs her face in his hands making her look at him.

“Hey it’s gonna be alright okay I promise”

“Everyone knows Eddie, everyone”

“I don’t think it’s gotten around to everyone yet but it’s definitely been around”

“This is bad so bad!”

“I know it’s bad right now but we’ll figure out. We knew this would happen eventually right?”

“Not this soon I thought we’d have time, I thought it wouldn’t be till I started showing at least”

A tear escapes her eye and Eddie is quick to wipe it away. His heart aches at how worried and upset she looks. Eddie is an old fashioned man who desperately wishes to protect her both in the physical sense and emotional. He wraps his arms around her pulling her body flush with his. This time (y/n) isn’t sobbing just silently crying motionless in his arms, if given the choice Eddie thinks he’d prefer the first option.

“Anyone who has anything to say will have to deal with me alright? And not just me but the guys too they’ve got your back”

“The guys already know?”

“Yeah Gareth heard from someone last period”

“Oh god Eddie do they hate me? Do they think I’m some floozy or something”

Eddie let’s out a small breathy laugh pulling her face away to look in her eyes. “No, no, no sweetheart they don’t think you’re a floozy. They’re having a hard time believing that I slept with you but y’know no surprise there” Eddie shrugs. That earns him a weak smile from (Y/n). Eddie takes that as a good sign wiping her face.

(Y/n) let’s put a small gasp. “Oh and you Eddie they’re probably saying all kind of things about you” she frets. “So it’s business as usual then” Eddie shrugs. (Y/n) shakes her head looking away from Eddie. Her eyes land on Chrissy rushing down the hall with her arms full of paper towels.

“Wait you were trying to lead me outside before” (y/n) points out looking back to Eddie. His face falls and he looks back for just a brief second. “Uh was I?” He asked. (Y/n) peaks behind him before quickly walking in the same direction that Chrissy just left in. “Sweetheart wait please” Eddie calls jogging behind her.

The crowd gathered around the lockers is much larger now. It’s become quite the spectacle in a matter of minutes. (Y/n) politely pushed through the crowd muttering apologies. The whispering gets less subtle as they realize that (Y/n) is making her way through.

“I’m telling you man It’s not coming off!” Gareth hissed. “Scrub harder then” Jeff huffed. “Both of you keep wiping” Chrissy instructs. The two guys are aggressively wiping the marker away while Chrissy pulls down the magazine articles and pictures. Gareth is the first to notice her presence standing up in an attempt to cover the locker with his body.

“(Y/n) hey um we were just uh working on a project for um for class” Chrissy nervously starts to explain. “For home economics!” Gareth quickly adds. “Yes, for home economics!” Chrissy cheers. It’s definitely a lie and a bad one at that since Gareth isn’t even in the same grade and Jeff doesn’t take home economics. Still the blonde smiles in hopes of convincing her friend it’s the truth.

(Y/n) doesn’t respond stepping closer to her locker. Tears gloss over her eyes once more as they look over the metal surface. She had seen on many occasions how cruel students could be and had even tried to stop it quite a few of those times. Never before had such behavior been directed at her. (Y/n) was even positive that a few of the handwritings looked familiar enough to pinpoint which cheerleader wrote it.

People she called friends, team mates, girls who had the nerve to call themselves her sisters had turned on her. They didn’t even have any proof if what they had heard was true or not and they still stabbed her in the back over it. Over something that ultimately wasn’t even her choice. The crowd was still talking in less hushed whispers. Each unfriendly voice sticking out more and more.

“I always knew she was a slut I’ve been saying it for years”

“She must have some serious issues to settle for Munson”

“How pathetic”

“Do you think she did it on purpose like she was worried of ending up alone? I mean when was the last time you saw her date someone?”

Vision blurry, ears ringing (y/n) spun around. This time she moved through the crowd much less apologetically. There were no mumbled apologies or excuse need mes. She knew Chrissy was desperately calling her name but right now she just needed out. (Y/n) didn’t stop running till she was out the door and far away from the building.

As she tries to steady her breathing, the tears continue to flow freely. It feels like her entire world has come crashing down in a matter of minutes. All she wanted was a normal high school experience, but instead, she's faced with humiliation and betrayal from those she thought were her friends.

Eddie finally catches up to her, his face full of concern and worry. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" he asks, breathless from running after her. (Y/n) looks up at him, her eyes red and puffy. "No, Eddie, I'm not okay," she sobs. "How could they do this to me? I thought they were my friends I thought they had my back."

Eddie wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. "I know, I know. It's not fair, and it's not right. But listen to me, we're going to get through this together. I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you."

She clings to him, finding solace in his words and the comfort of his embrace. Eddie is her rock, her anchor in this storm of chaos. Together, they'll navigate through this difficult time, supporting each other every step of the way.

“I know I’m just me but no matter what I’m not going anywhere” Eddie announces quietly anyway. The comment of ‘just him’ strikes (y/n) as funny. In fact the term is funny enough to make her breathe out a quiet laugh. “What’s funny sweets?” Eddie asks. (Y/n) wipes the tears from her cheeks.

“Just you, it’s funny as if you’re nothing special it’s just you” she answers. Eddie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and his head tilts a little. “I just mean you aren’t just you Eddie not to me anyways” (y/n) continues with a gentle smile. Eddie smiles wiping tears away from her cheeks. “You doing okay?” He asks.

(Y/n) exhales looking down. Her life had flipped upside down over the last week. Everything was changing and it was changing fast. Then there was the good part that had come out of all this, Eddie. Her saving grace, her rock, her best friend.

She looked up to meet his eye again really studying him this time. (Y/n) takes in a deep before nodding. “Yeah actually I’m doing better, like you said they’d find out eventually” she shrugs with a small smile. “It’s okay if you’re not, you don’t have to pretend with me” Eddie promises squeezing her hands. This time (y/n) says nothing instead leaning up to kiss him.

Eddie accepts the kiss moving one of his hands to cup her face. It’s slow and sweet, made entirely out of gratitude and appreciation. When they pull apart her smile is a little more real. “Yeah I’m good Eds promise” she sighs. Eddie nods relieved.

“Besides my big scary boyfriend is gonna beat up anyone who says anything” (y/n) teases nudging his arm. Eddie snorts shaking his head a little. He leans down to connect their lips again.

There’s the sound of leaves crunching makes them turn around. Chrissy stands nervously a couple feet away. “Hey um I just came to check on you” she smiles nervously. “I better go help those idiots clean up your locker, meet me over there when you’re done?” Eddie asks getting up from the table.

(Y/n) nods leaning up to kiss him again. “Thank you again Eddie” she says softly. Eddie shakes his head smiling. “Don’t mention it sweets” he promises getting up from the table. Chrissy offers him a polite nod taking his place while Eddie heads back towards the school.

(Y/n) and Chrissy had always been inseparable. They grew up together, experiencing all of life's milestones side by side. From picking out their first movie crushes to sharing the excitement of their first real kisses, they had always been there for each other. But now, they were facing a completely new challenge - an unexpected teen pregnancy. This was not something they could find the solution to in Sassy or Seventeen magazine.

Sitting at the table (Y/n) mustered up the courage to confirm the news with her best friend. It wasn't an easy conversation to start, but she knew she needed Chrissy's support. “So,” Chrissy breathes with a small nervous smile “it’s true then?” (Y/n) took in a breath bracing herself. "Yeah CC, it's true, I'm, uh, pregnant."

Chrissy's eyes widened clearly shocked by the revelation. "Wow, that's huge, like, really really huge" she managed to say. (Y/n) nodded, feeling the weight of the situation. "I know," she replied softly. "And it's Eddie's."

Chrissy's eyes filled with concern as she asked about the circumstances. "When did that happen? You guys just started dating!" (Y/n) hesitated for a moment before recalling the night of Josh's party. “Do you remember Josh’s party?”

Chrissy thought back for a second. “Well yeah I remember you guys hanging out but you were really drunk” she explained. Suddenly Chrissy gasped, gripping (Y/n)'s arm. "Oh my god, did he take advantage of you?" There was a mix of concern and anger in her voice."No, no, it wasn't anything like that" (Y/n) reassured her, placing a hand over Chrissy's.

The tension in Chrissy's face eased as she let out a relieved breath.Curiosity getting the better of her Chrissy asked "So how did this happen, then?" "Well, after I passed out, he couldn't find you, and he didn't know where I lived, so he brought me to his place. He was really sweet and took care of me. I don't know, CC it just happened” (y/n) explained.

Chrissy's surprise turned into a smile as she said "Wow, Eddie Munson." "Eddie Munson” (Y/n) repeated with a small smile. "And you know what? I'm happier than I've been in a long time” (y/n) confirmed.

Chrissy's excitement couldn't be contained as she hugged (Y/n) tightly. “I'm so happy for you babe” she whispered. "Thank you, CC really” With a grin, Chrissy demanded to know all the details. She wanted to hear everything about this unexpected turn of events.

As (Y/n) recounted waking up in Eddie's bed and his sweet gestures to take care of her Chrissy listened intently. "Wow he sounds great”Chrissy gushed, thinking of how different Eddie was from her own boyfriend, Jason. "He's so different from the rest of the guys around here.”(Y/n) nodded, knowing how special Eddie was. "He's really something CC, despite his tough exterior, he's truly so sweet."

As they continued to talk (Y/n) shared more about their day together, how they laughed and ate breakfast. She couldn't help but gush about Eddie's uncle Wayne, who she found to be surprisingly similar to him."He always looks so serious and gruff," Chrissy remarked."Yeah, I think that's just how he has to be you know”(Y/n) replied. "Eddie has a lot to deal with at school, so he has to put up this tough front."

Chrissy nodded in understanding before asking about the moment Eddie dropped (Y/n) off at her house. "Did he kiss you at the door?" she inquired. (Y/n) laughed. "No, he's too old school for that, we exchanged numbers instead, and that's when we decided to meet up again later."

"Wow" Chrissy said, completely captivated by the story unfolding before her. "Exactly, big wow” (Y/n) agreed, feeling grateful for her supportive best friend by her side.

“Well he obviously couldn’t find you after I passed out and he didn’t know where I lived so he brought me to his place. I don’t know he was really sweet and charming and he took care of me. It just happened CC I don’t know.”

“Then I can’t wait to be an aunt”

“You’ll be the best aunt”

“Oh I should make them a blanket! Of course I’ll need to wait till I know if it’s a boy or girl. Or I could pick something like yellow or green? What are the Hellfire colors?”

“Whatever you pick will be great Chrissy”

Arm in arm, Chrissy and (y/n) made their way back into the school, a sense of normality slowly returning. The hallway had mostly cleared now, leaving just a few random students heading one way or another. The chaos of earlier seemed like a distant memory at least for the time being. At her locker, the guys had mostly finished cleaning up the vandalized mess, with just a few remaining markings and unreadable words. They were in the middle of a heavy debate about some musician versus another when they spotted the girls approaching.

"Hi baby” (y/n) greeted, pulling away from Chrissy who had to catch her ride. "Hey sweetheart, your locker's mostly cleaned up” Eddie said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. His eyes flickered with genuine concern. "Thank you for this, guys. I really appreciate it” (y/n) sighed, glancing at her locker which now looked almost normal once again.

Gareth and Jeff, who had been sitting on the ground, immediately got up, slightly shoving each other for who would get up first. Their banter was lighthearted, a stark contrast to the events of the day. "I think this makes you an official member of the club” Gareth grinned a teasing glint in his eyes."Yeah this counts as your initiation” Jeff agreed a smirk playing on his lips.

"Welcome to Hellfire, (y/n) (y/l/n)” Eddie declared with a wide grin, his voice filled with pride. (Y/n) couldn't help but smile back, her expression real and earnest. It was honestly a weird feeling for her. She had watched as her social life crumbled into pieces after the rumors and malicious lies spread about her. But with Eddie and her newfound friends, it honestly didn't feel so bad.

Eddie and (Y/n) decide to unwind after school by watching an old tape. As they lay together on the couch, snuggled up the warmth of their love filled the room.Eddie finally breaks the comfortable silence drawing (Y/N)'s attention away from the tape. "You know, with everyone around school finding out about us, we might want to tell our parents soon” he pointed out concern tugging at the corners of his lips.

(Y/N)'s face fell, and a wave of dread washed over her. "They're gonna be so mad, Eddie” she whispered her voice trembling with anxiety. The thought of disappointing her parents weighed heavily on her heart. Eddie gently tilted her chin up, his eyes filled with tenderness. "They'll be even more pissed if we let them hear it from someone else” he replied, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"I know, but this has all been so happy” (Y/N) admitted, her voice laced with fear. "I'm just not ready to lose that yet." Eddie pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her protectively. "Maybe it won't be as bad as you think," he reassured her, brushing his fingers over her hair. "They may be mad at first, but they'll come around I’m sure.”

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes as she gazed into Eddie's deep, caring eyes. "Their daughter is pregnant, Eds" she spoke softly, her voice thick with emotion. "They're gonna be pissed." Eddie tenderly wiped away her tears, his heart aching for the pain she felt. "We'll face them together," he promised.

(Y/N) took a deep breath, finding comfort in Eddie's words. “Okay you’re right we’ll tell them” (y/n) breathes looking up at Eddie. “Wayne’s off on Wednesday we could do dinner” Eddie points out. “Dinner on Wednesday it is” (y/n) sighs.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

I was wondering if you could explain how the Matrix actually... works? Is it more like a Time Lord artificial afterlife, or just a collection of knowledge? Do you ask your dead housekeeper for her cookie recipe, or do you just access it like Google?

Absolutely!

How does the Matrix work?

Think about Wikipedia.

Now, imagine if Wikipedia had detailed profile pages of every single member of the human race that had lived since its inception in 2001 (around 7.5~ billion individual, heavily detailed profiles).

Then, imagine each profile page had a little downloadable file that was that person's consciousness.

Next, think about how every person's knowledge gained in their life is spread throughout that Wikipedia on every single subject.

Now, think, 'What if Wikipedia had a plugin that could tell you future events based on all the information it has from all these people's experiences?'

Finally, put all this into a cool little weird video game that uses virtual reality.

If you can imagine that, you're pretty close.

💻 Functions of the Matrix

Knowledge Repository: The Matrix acts as an archive, containing the lived histories and profiles of every Time Lord that's lived, and all the knowledge they gained in their life.

Quick Updates: Living Time Lords are biologically connected to the Matrix, able to access the information at will (except if you've been a bad Time Lord, of course). When they die the Matrix automatically creates their profile page when they die, so their entire life goes to the Time Lord Wiki for the benefit of all.

Simulated Reality: If entered, the environment is a simulated reality where the personalities of deceased Time Lords can continue to exist. This can make it seem like a kind of artificial afterlife where you could potentially interact with past or future incarnations of Time Lords.

Predictive Tool: The Matrix generates prophecies and foresees potential futures, guiding Time Lords in making informed decisions about potential timelines.

Physical and Astral Projection: Time Lords can also use the Matrix to project their images across spacetime or within the confines of a TARDIS, communicating across vast distances or even between different temporal phases. Isn't that handy?

🔐 Security and Integrity

Despite its advanced capabilities, the Matrix isn't infallible. It can be tampered with, and its data can be manipulated or stolen, which is considered a helluva crime on Gallifrey. The Matrix also uses various safeguards, like Cloister Wraiths and living fibre optic cables that act like firewalls to protect its most critical data.

🔑 Access and Interaction

Access to the Matrix varies; it can be through physical terminals, via direct neural connections, or by using artefacts. Once inside, users can navigate a realm where physical laws are malleable and where their thoughts can shape reality because anything is possible.

🏫 So ...

In practical terms, if you're deadset on finding that cookie recipe, the Matrix could definitely provide access to that knowledge, either by allowing you to interact with the housekeeper's stored personality or by just retrieving the information like a search engine. Alternatively, you could shirk your holiday in Disneyland and jump right into the Matrix to spend a day being attacked by virtual blancmanges and Victoria sponges until you find what you need.

Related:

What is biodata?: What biodata is and what you can use it for.

Factoid: How do Time Lords biologically stay connected to the Matrix?

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[adarkrainbow]

To explain a bit more the Bluebeard situation I talked about in my previous post:

Perrault always placed Moralities at the end of his fairytales (there was a strong influence of La Fontaine’s Fables, which Perrault adored, even if the two guys were on opposite sides of the Modern VS Ancient feud). And while some of his Moralities were “serious” and helped reconsider the fairytale in a different light (for example the Morality of “Little Red Riding Hood” makes explicit the sexual meaning of the tale and how the wolf is supposed to represent a predatory male seducer), others were very clearly parody of moralities, or rather little jokes added in the end (again, Perrault’s fairytales were supposed to be like dark comedies, horrific and funny at the same time). 

And the best example is Bluebeard. I don’t think I need to tell you the story, you all know it by now. What’s the Morality for Bluebeard? Given the nature of the story it might be “Don’t just marry a guy because he is rich, ESPECIALLY IF HE HAS TON OF MISSING WIVES”. Or it might be “Maybe if a guy has a blue-beard it is because THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM, RUN GIRL GIRL”. Nope, the Morality basically condemns curiosity as a very bad thing, and as the typical, archetypal vice of all women, that they should work to fix. In the context of the story this is clearly meant as a joke-morality, since this whole “Curiosity must be punished” is the very logic used by the serial killer-antagonist of the story (who ends up defeated in a shameful situation while the curious protagonist gets rewarded). It is clearly a joke...

... and yet many people read it first degree and bought into the whole idea that somehow Perrault was a total misogynist who used his stories to teach women to be docile beings accepting everything and never questioning anyone. These people clearly didn’t pay attention to the story, or have very little knowledge of who Perrault was.

What is made even worse is that when you read the rest of the Morality, it becomes clear it is all a joke... Because the Morality basically goes “Well, we can see this is a story that happened a LONG TIME AGO. A Bluebeard case couldn’t have happened today. Why? Because nowadays it is the women that are in charge of everything, and that are the boss of the house, and who terrorize their husbands into submission, and so Bluebeards would have been faced with some dragons of a wife in modern days.” I mean... Perrault is literaly mocking the people that go “Oh darn, where are the good old days where the men were in charge of everything in the house, and when women just shut up and did as they were told? Oh sure, this Bluebeard fella might have been a killer..; BUT AT LEAST HE WORE THE PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP! At least he had the natural order of things in his house, and if we had more people like him to punish those rebellious women, the world would have been better today.”

This is literaly Perrault mocking this mindset by parroting them in his dubious morality. A morality that is need to be seen as dubious since Bluebeard is - I think I need to insist - expressedly depicted as a ugly, terrifying, hard-hearted, brutal and savage serial killer that is ultimately a whimp easily defeated by actually brave and noble men. And I can’t stress enough how Perrault stood on the side of the “Moderns”, and was a fervent enemy of the “Ancients” and their glorification of the “ancient ways”... 

I know that, when I read the brief Perrault section Jack Zipes had placed in his book about fairytales, this was my main problem: he painted a very dark portrait of Perrault as a sort of brainwasher of women precisely because he read the stories first-degree and completely missed the jokes spread everywhere and how Perrault’s stories are fundamentaly ironic (I mean come on... in a society of absolutism where the king is everything and nobility a sacred thing, he wrote “Puss in Boots” that heralds as heroes a stupid miller son and a cunning cat who basically steal all the belongings of an ogre-lord and then fool a drunkard of a king, faking a nobility title till they make it... That’s definitively not supposed to be a first-degree story). Apparently Jack Zipes is excellent when he deals with other topics - the Brothers Grimm for example, or comparative fairytales as a whole - but he is part of those people that completely misread the whole “French fairytales” part of fairytale history. 

[starlitangels]

Keeping Cool

Me: I dunno... the Fourseen is such an enclosed story... there’s not a lot of room for where I usually put my fics... Also me: Wait! That one time-skip in the Fire Path! For the record I don’t know how to spell anything besides the character names from mythology 1.4k words (almost exactly!)

—

“Thank you for the update,” Tyr said to the guards. They spun around sharply and marched off. The door creaked open and slammed shut behind them.

The moment they were gone, Odin groaned in complaint and flopped face-first down on the floor. “A transfer delay?” he demanded, voice muffled a bit by the flagstone floor. “How can they just expect us to keep sitting here?”

“It’s not that bad,” I retorted.

“We are their prisoners,” Tyr reasoned, much more calmly. “It stands to reason that we will operate on their timetable, not any preferences of our own.”

“This is ridiculous! First they say Fenrir is a traitor even though he and Okami have always been friends and that’s ridiculous—and then they throw me in a cell in a basement!”

“Us,” I corrected.

“Fine, fine. Us,” Odin said. He rolled over onto his back, spread-eagle on the floor and staring up at the ceiling. “I’m going to die in here.”

“It hasn’t even been twelve hours!” I snapped. Odin winced away from me slightly as the fire my body was made of lashed out a bit, a flame licking toward him. But didn’t brush him. I rolled my eyes. “Sure it’s boring but that’s no reason for us to just lose our heads just yet.”

Odin sat up. “Hey, look, you’ve already lost your head—I see no reason why I can’t lose mine!”

“Odin,” Tyr said softly. “Is that the kindest way to speak to your friend who sacrificed their life to get the knowledge that brought you here to your other friend?”

“They got something out of it too!” Odin protested. “Full use of the Galaxy Gate when this whole thing is over with!”

“And that gives you a reason to... joke? Despite the fact that you were the one to cut their head off in the first place?”

“I...” Odin paused, thinking it through as his eyes narrowed and his brows lowered.

I rolled my eyes again. Odin tended to be a smart guy and he was a capable Joten warrior—but gods he could be a dumbass a good portion of the time. I shifted a bit so my flames snapped upwards at a slightly different angle. Much more comfortable—though I had no clue how to explain why. “Yeah, that’s what I figured,” I grumbled.

“Oi!” Odin protested again. “The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you can’t even be bothered to think of anything or anyone else because you’re too focused on your own boredom! You are impatient, immature, and irritating!” I exclaimed.

“Am I, now?” he demanded.

“Yes.”

“Why am I irritating?”

“Because between you and me, one of us needs to keep our cool and I am physically incapable!”

My fire flared a lot larger than I intended. Odin jumped back and even Tyr leaned slightly away from me. I sucked in a deep breath and watched the flames recede, burning gently, much closer to my main body. I frowned and moved to stand in a corner of the cell up against the stone wall, hoping to cool off.

“Perhaps we all need to take a moment to breathe,” Tyr suggested. I didn’t meet his eyes, nor Odin’s. Just sulked in my corner with my arms folded. I took several deep breaths, sliding down the cool stone wall and sitting on the stone floor.

I tried to occupy my thoughts with calm, happy things. But it always felt like the nice thoughts went up in flames moments after I conjured them up.

I’m not sure how long I sat in silence, staring at a chip in the stone floor and contemplating whether there was a way for me to melt the rock and how I might be able to go about it if there was. But a noise—too close to my shoulder for comfort—made me jolt and whirl.

Odin was sitting far enough away that he seemed to have deemed himself safe, but was still close. “Uh... hey,” he said softly.

“Hi,” I said.

“Sorry for... the joke.”

I glanced across the small cell. “Tyr put you up to this?”

The marbled giant shook his head.

“No, I... he’s right, though. I shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t thinking.”

The sharp retort of Do you ever? died on my tongue. “I forgive you,” I said instead.

“Thanks.” He traced mindless shapes into the slight coat of dirt on the floor. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said, almost too quietly for me to hear.

I scrunched my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“The argument. You sounded more like yourself. Like you got your... bite back. You’ve been quieter than you used to be since I first saw you on the mountain, alive again. I know I cut your head off but... I didn’t mean to kill your personality too.”

I took a deep breath. “You didn’t,” I muttered. “It’s just... been an adjustment. Dying. Being brought back. Getting a body like... this.” I waved an arm, watching the flames trail in the wake of the movement. “Then to get thrown onto an unfamiliar world and immediately surrounded by hostile... what does this race call themselves again, Tyr?”

“Fengrals.”

“Fengrals. Hostile Fengrals. It’s been a lot for the last, you know, day or so.”

Odin pursed his lips. “Yeah. I can see why you’d think that,” he agreed.

I chuckled. Any day before today I would have nudged him in the elbow playfully, but I didn’t actually want to burn him. “Well, we can’t all be quite as adventurous as you, huh?” I teased.

That made him laugh. Just a bit. “No I guess not,” he agreed. “Even if adventuring, er... gets me banned from every ship depot on Esselheim.”

I burst out laughing, surprising Odin, Tyr, and myself. “Fair enough,” I said around my laughter, making the words almost shaky. Odin’s laughter joined me, more earnest this time. The tension hanging in the air of the cell burned away, and things felt like old times again. Back when Odin and I had first become friends and I used to rib him about being a rapscallion—and a bunch of other long words that he pretended not to know so he could make a joke out of it.

He glanced over at me after a bit. “Are you really okay with... just... being on fire all the time?”

I shrugged. “I chose it. There wasn’t a lot of time so I only had a few options.”

“Well... maybe when this is over you can get a body that, er, isn’t on fire?”

I peeked over at Tyr. For the life of me I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. There were no clues on his face at all. “I don’t think it works like that, Odin,” I said softly. “I think, now that I picked this, I have to keep it. If there had been more time, I... maybe I could have had a proper body. Look like a normal Joten again. But we were in a rush, all of us. So this is what I get.”

“I’m sorry,” Odin offered.

I shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s an adjustment but I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually.”

Odin heaved a long, dramatic sigh and leaned back against the stone wall of the back of the cell. “Assuming we ever get out of here,” he groaned in complaint. That time, I definitely caught Tyr smiling. It was small, but it was there.

“You really have no patience, do you?” I asked.

“I’ve never had to be patient for this long before!”

“Well, then perhaps you are learning a valuable lesson,” Tyr commented. Odin flinched slightly—like he’d forgotten Tyr was even there. All things considered, he might have. Tyr had been remarkably quiet and eerily still for the last little while.

“I don’t want to learn a lesson! I want to get out of here.”

“Well, glad we’re right back to where we started,” I remarked. Tyr’s gaze met mine and we both chuckled.

“Not quite. Perhaps this time we can avoid the argument,” Tyr said.

“Hopefully,” I agreed. I got to my feet. “C’mon Odin. Let’s see if we can find some way to entertain you long enough to keep whatever biomechanical brain you have from short-circuiting too badly.”

He got to his feet. “Thank the gods—I don’t think I could take just sitting here in silence. What do you want to do?”

—

Tagging some GB peeps: @palilious @gwenifred @ryn-halo26 @daveyistheloml @monster-scribe-tya @miloeveryday38 

[bard-llama]

WiP Wednesday: The Seduction of the Innocent

Okay, firstly, this entire idea is really the brainchild of myself and steveelotaku and we’ve had fun coming up with stuff for it. The title is his suggestion - based on that crackpot book written about Batman and Robin being gay and corrupting the youth of America. It’s PERFECT for a fic that is all about Zuko writing a comic strip to help support his thesis as he goes to Ba Sing Se University lol

Premise: Zuko needs a hobby to keep himself occupied during the idle times of teaserving/vigilantism - and ends up writing. His new BFF Jin also suggests that he apply for Ba Sing Se University when his history of researching the Avatar and their cultures comes out. So Zuko ends up writing a thesis that studying ancient/declining cultures (Air Nomads and the Water Tribes) is worthwhile in the world today (bc the Water Tribes still exist and there’s 1 living Air Nomad). To help make his point/spread knowledge about the different cultures, he and Jin end up creating a comic series about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar (and co). Through the hijinks of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar traveling around the world (remember, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se), they fight crime and evildoers and teach each other about their cultures.

So, right now I’m thinking this is actually 2 fics: a prequel and a sequel. The prequel will be all about establishing Zuko going to Uni and creating the comic and some of its effects (it’s REALLY popular with kids!). The sequel is when the Gaang (Zuko coined the name) finds out about the comics and read them - and then Aang, who KNOWS who the Blue Spirit is, goes looking for the author to confront them. He suspects it’s Zuko, but he doesn’t actually BELIEVE that it’s really Zuko. After all, how could ZUKO get into Ba Sing Se and why would he write comics explaining how the Air Nomads believed in peace?

(For those that dislike shipping in atla, the sequel will have some Zuko/Aang, but probably T-rated teens dating. Not wholly sure yet, but I think the whole series will be T)

So far, I have a few random scenes written, so I’ll share some snippets here, but also, I HAVE to tell you about what steveelotaku came up with for the comic!!!

The Comics

So like I said, the premise of the comics is: the adventures the Gaang + the Blue Spirit get up to, while fighting off their standard array of villains. (Credit for these goes to steveelotaku, who is incredible and came up with GREAT villains!)

The Big Bad: Fire Lord Ozai

But, I hear you say, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se! So how-? Well, the answer is - Zuko REALLY wanted to draw his dad receiving a pie to the face (look, he’s upset about the whole traitor thing and he needs an outlet) from Aang, so he invented a silly Silver Age Comics campy reason for why the Fire Lord hates the Avatar: the Avatar blew storm clouds over his parade and RUINED his hair! (Ozai hates getting wet 😂)

Other Recurring Villains:

Sparkler, the Princess of Pyromania: Fire-themed villain with a mysterious connection to the Blue Spirit and a grudge against them

The Koan: Basically Buddhist Riddler. "What is the sound of one hand picking your pocket?"  "If a building blows up, and no one is around to see it, did I commit a crime?"

The Cabbage Merchant of Death: Literally just the cabbage merchant, but breeding his cabbages to attack humanity as vengeance for overturning his cart. (The Cabbage Merchant actually loves the comics and his portrayal. Someone recognized his plight! So he taped one of the panels to his cart.)

The Tapestry: Literally a guy dressed in a tapestry who makes horrible weaving jokes and uses sharp threads. "Knit one, purl-oin two gold bars!"

The Ember Island Jester: The only actor to be fired from the Ember Island Players, because his jokes were terrible. His crimes are all theater-themed and he wears a comedy mask. "Four nations, all alike in dignity, all ripe for the plundering!" "It's curtains for you, Blue Spirit! -drops a heavy curtain on him-"

The Nightingale: Basically the Penguin, but with an army of robot nightingales, like in the old Chinese fable about the Emperor who forgot how a nightingale had brought him joy when a mechanical one is given to him, only for it to save him later. Only this time, the Nightingale is some minor noble who got fired and now keeps pestering Ozai with his robot nightingales and Ozai has to call for the Blue Spirit, much to his frustration. "The Nightingale sings the song of your doom!" Aang: "How does that go?" "Uh...doom! DOOM DOOM DOOM! DOOM doom DOOOOOM!"

Okay, so those are our Villains. Now what about our heroes? Remember, the Gaang is being written by Zuko - who may do lots and lots of research and maybe has stalked them on occasion, but still doesn’t really KNOW them.

The Blue Spirit - Zuko goes in hard on the tropes, so the Blue Spirit is totally the broody badboy. He has a secret identity that no one knows. Also, he tells tea jokes and makes tea puns. Iroh is very proud.

Aang, The Avatar - Aang is the epitome of “peace, love, and happiness make the world go round” (real Aang finds this hilarious) but he’s also an incurable prankster

Toph, The Avatar’s Earthbending Teacher - Toph is the buffest, littlest character there is and it is unclear whether she beats villains with her bending or her fists or if the two are one and the same.

Katara, The Avatar’s Waterbending Teacher - Katara is the scariest motherfucker on the team and Zuko stands by that. She has some of the corny “hope” lines, complementing Aang, but mostly, it’s her determination that makes her scary. When she decides something, it happens. (Zuko might be projecting a bit, but he’s not wrong.)

Sokka, The Avatar’s Jester/Strategist - Sokka is the straight forward comic relief and is a walking joke, but he does tend to suggest the plans that work... they’re just very, very ridiculous, in line with Silver Age comics ridiculousness.

And some choice lines by steveelotaku:

"Holy cumulus, Blue Spirit! The Fire Nation's set fire to the tea tree grove!" "The fiends! It's not enough for them to boil it too long--now they're roasting it to ashes!" "Halt, Blue Spirit! Your pathetic crusade of justice stops here!" "It's that suspicious sous-chef of sabotage, Serial Griller! Fire Lord Ozai's right hand cook!" "That's right, Blue Blunder! And today's special is deep fried masked man with a side of Avatar fries!"

"Blue Spirit! Help!" "By the subtle tang of oolong tea! Avatar, you're turning into a were-bison!" Not a trick! Not an imaginary story! The Avatar's best friend might just be his doom! Can Aang and the Blue Spirit survive...THE NIGHT OF THE APPA-LLING WERE-BISON?!

AND NOW, THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE BLUE SPIRIT: A nameless warrior stands on the battlefield in the pouring rain. Another village massacred, the survivors left for dead. He alone had dared to speak against this heinous crime, and for that he was cast out from the only family he had. Hiding within a teahouse, he took with him the one souvenir of that battle he dared to claim--the mask of the Blue Spirit, a warrior who had fought for justice against his cruel oppressors. Now, the warrior takes the mantle for himself--to find redemption, or die trying!

Snippets:

The Beginning

Zuko needed a hobby, was the thing. He was really, really busy in Ba Sing Se, between being a tea server and being the Blue Spirit. But there was a lot of idle time in both roles and Zuko just needed something to keep him occupied. It wasn’t supposed to turn into a big thing.

Only one day, Jin had caught him writing at the teashop and demanded to read it and… look. It was just a lark. It was just a funny little idea that he was toying with. It didn’t mean anything.

It was in the afternoon lull and Uncle was, fortunately, in the backroom, doing tea things. Meanwhile, Zuko’s only other customer was an old accountant who was always buried in their books and never registered anything going on around them. They liked Pao’s strongest tea.

This meant that there was no one else around to see the look on Jin’s face when she read through his scrawled handwriting – he was much better at writing with a calligraphy brush, but these days, charcoal was as good as it got – depicting a silly dialogue exchange between the Blue Spirt and the Avatar. It was just one of the questions he’d always wanted to ask the Avatar, one that wasn’t really important, but that had bothered him until he’d researched it anyway.

“Li,” she said slowly.

Zuko gulped. “Yeah?”

“This… this is good,” she said with a tone of wonder. “Seriously, I really like this!”

“You… do?” Zuko blinked, not sure what to do with that. “But it’s – it’s–”

“Funny? Enjoyable? Cute?”

“Dumb.”

“Bullshit,” Jin said bluntly. “You’re allowed to enjoy dumb things, Li. As long as it’s fun, what else matters?”

Zuko frowned. That was not a philosophy about life that he was familiar with.

“Do you think the Avatar really throws pies in people’s faces?” Jin asked with a laugh.

“Oh, that bit I can confirm,” Zuko flashed a brief grin. “I found a letter from the King of Omashu to the Southern Air Temple that very specifically said Aang and his friends had pie’d the King’s Guard.”

Jin blinked. “What do you mean, you found a letter?”

“Oh,” Zuko bit his lip, realizing he really shouldn’t have said that. “I, um. I… studied the Avatar. For a long time. And the Air Nomads and the Water Tribes, a little bit.”

“Really?” Jin looked excited, of all things. “That’s so cool! So you were a mini scholar before tragedy struck, huh? Are you gonna try to apply for Ba Sing Se University? You should!”

“I… what?”

“It’s not often someone from the Lower Ring gets accepted,” Jin said, “but it does happen! And I know you’d study really hard and there are scholarships and things to help pay for it. You should try!”

“I’ll… think about it?” Zuko said, taken entirely off guard.

“You should write more, too,” Jin encouraged. “Honestly, it’s a really fun scene. I kinda wanna draw it.”

Jin’s family ran what was probably one of the best places in town to get writing and illustration done on a budget. This meant that Jin spent a lot of time drawing what she called ‘very boring adverts’. He wouldn’t think his scene was that interesting either, but Jin’s face was genuine and she smiled at him.

“Really?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Jin grinned, “just the visual of the Fire Lord getting a pie in the face–” she broke down laughing.

Zuko flushed. It was possible he was a bit upset with his father for marking him as a traitor and sending his sister to bring him home in chains. And it wasn’t like a little pie had ever hurt anyone…

During Zuko’s Tour of Ba Sing Se University (from the POV of the admissions tour guide)

“As part of your curriculum. You don’t study other cultures, like the Water Tribes and the Air Nomads?”

There was a loud scoff from behind Min and she turned to see Professor Lang sneering down his nose at the kid. 

“Of course not,” he said. “What use is there in studying ancient civilizations?”

The kid looked confused for a brief moment… and then he got mad, and wow, he was actually kind of scary underneath that scruffy unkemptness. 

“The Water Tribes aren’t dead! And even if the Air Nomads are, there’s still reason to learn about them!”

“And what, pray tell, would that be?”

The kid had a pretty impressive snarl. “The Earth Kingdom has trade contracts relating to the Water Tribes, who are still alive. And there’s one living Air Nomad now, too!”

Min blinked. What did that mean?

“Pah,” Professor Lang spat. “The Avatar is not part of any culture.”

The what? 

“The Avatar isn’t told until they turn sixteen. Until that age, Avatar Aang was and still is an Air Nomad.”

What!?

“The… Avatar?” Min said vaguely. How had she not heard about this? “The Avatar is back? And they’re an Air Nomad!?”

The kid looked scared for a moment. Perhaps he could sense how closely they danced to the dangerous territory of current events. 

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “We, um. We heard before coming to Ba Sing Se that the Avatar is back. And – and he’s an Air Nomad. So there’s relevance in understanding the Air Nomad culture! Because, like…” he visibly flailed for an example that would be acceptable, “like family!” He held up his finger triumphantly. “Culture affects what words mean. In the Earth Kingdom, family is defined as your clan, tied to you through blood, marriage, or contract. In the Water Tribes, the whole tribe is family and everything is done in service to that family. But to the Air Nomads? They defined family as people chosen based on who you wanted in your life. They did not recognize blood ties.”

Min and Professor Lang both stared at the kid. 

“How – how do you know that?” Professor Lang asked eventually.

The kid froze. “I, um. I did a lot of research on – on the Avatar and, and their cultures. I’m not making it up! One of their core tenets was that the blood of the covenant was thicker than water of the womb, meaning those who share their vows are more kin than those who share their blood. They were more concerned with spirituality and behavior.” The kid sighed heavily. “I wish my old library hadn’t burned. I had some amazing finds.”

Min’s eyebrow arched. That almost made it sound like, despite the current state of things, this kid had some noble background. Well, well. That changed things.

She clapped her hands together. “This sounds like an excellent topic for a thesis, don’t you agree, Professor Lang?”

“A – what?”

“A thesis, of course. You have an argument to make – that ancient/declining cultures still have a role in our society. Through your course of study here at Ba Sing Se, you will learn how to draft an effective argument, backed by primary sources.”

“I had primary sources!” the kid said, sounding strangely offended.

“Of course,” Min allowed.

“You want this disrespectful brat to write a thesis on such an absurd topic!?” Professor Lang burst out.

“He argued his point well, did he not?” Min shrugged, smiling pleasantly. 

“I have another one,” the kid – Li, according to her file – said. “The Air Nomads were pacifists. They didn’t believe in consuming the flesh of any creature, because in their view, violence was abhorrent in any form. So think about it… the – the Avatar’s job is to bring peace and balance to the world, right?”

Min took a sharp breath. That was coming a little too close to–

“Well, Air Nomads were very devoted to peace. They have eighty-seven words for peace, all of which mean different things. Some of which, if applied to the nations by the Avatar, would face significant dissent. So in dealing with the Avatar, it’s important to know that you need to clarify the meaning of things being discussed.”

“And you expect to be ‘dealing with the Avatar’, do you?” Professor Lang sneered.

Li opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Of course not,” he said, “but that’s precisely why the study of these cultures is so significant! Because if it’s not widespread knowledge, then we’re all at a disadvantage.”

Min clapped, “well said. What is knowledge but a tool for the betterment of ourselves?”

“...right,” Li nodded hesitantly.

(For those curious, Professor Lang knows about Aang because the Gaang and Joo Dee went by the university when they first came to Ba Sing Se - but the visit was kept moderately hush hush, because talking about the Avatar can mean talking about the war. This changes when the comic takes off.)

From the next scene

Jin was pacing in Pao’s Teashop as they all waited excitedly to hear the results of Li’s visit to the university. Mushi was channeling his anxiety into making lots of tea, so Jin was spending far more than she should on new pots, but at least sipping tea gave her something to do.

Finally, Li opened the door – and jerked back as everyone in the teashop – four of the afternoon regulars and Jin, plus one couple that had no idea what was going on – rounded on him.

“Well? How did it go?”

“Uh.” Li scratched his head. “I think I’m a student now?”

Jin blinked. “I thought you were just going to apply?”

“So did I,” Li shrugged. “And then I got into an argument with a professor during the tour–”

Everyone groaned collectively.

“Oh, Nephew,” Mushi sighed, coming out from behind the counter and ushering Li into the room.

“Of course you did,” Jin laughed.

“But it was fine,” Li huffed. “In fact, I think it actually helped me? I guess I’m writing a thesis on the Avatar and also why studying other cultures matters?”

“You’re… what?” Mushi said blankly.

Li shrugged helplessly. “It just kinda happened.”

Now we skip waaaaaaay ahead to the sequel, to when the Gaang (well, Aang specifically) finds out about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar

It started with an innocently overheard conversation at a bakery near their Upper Ring house while waiting for the new pies to cool.

“Did you read it?” one girl hissed to another. “Did you see!?”

“Yes!” the second girl sounded so excited that it was hard to control her volume. “I told you! It’s real! Spiritar is canon!”

“I just can’t believe it,” the only boy amongst the group murmured. “I didn’t see it coming at all.”

“That’s because you never listen to us,” the first girl sniffed. “I called the Blue Spirit x Avatar Aang coming from miles away.”

The… what?

Aang blinked, turning to stare at them. “I’m sorry, did you say Avatar?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, who’s asking – oh sweet spirits, it’s the Avatar!” the boy looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Um. Hi,” Aang waved awkwardly.

The two girls squeaked and flushed red. “Hi,” they managed, one more easily than the other.

“Did you say something about – about the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“Oh spirits,” the second girl whispered under her breath. “Oma and Shu, why would you do this to us?”

“Um?”

“Okay, so,” the first girl cleared her throat. “Um, let’s start at the beginning. Are you familiar with The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“The… huh?” Aang’s mouth twisted in confusion. Who was the Blue Spirit and what did they have to do with him?

There was a cleared throat from next to them and another woman in the bakery stood behind them. “Hi, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear and – I have a binder just for this purpose.” She pulled out a thick binder full of papers and thudded it down on the table. Then she opened it to a page that had two figures cut out from an inked illustration. One was obviously Aang, though his arrows weren’t quite that big – but the other… the other was–

“The Blue Spirit, you called them?” Aang asked, staring at the mask that he remembered with stark distinction. If the stranger in the mask hadn’t saved him…

But then, of course, the stranger turned out to not be so strange after all. Aang could still feel the rough bark under his fingers as he played with it, waiting for Zuko to wake up.

If we knew each other then, do you think we could’ve been friends? he’d asked, and Zuko hadn’t actually answered, but the blast of fire spoke many words.

“You don’t know them?” the girls all looked up at him with a broken sort of hope.

“I – I do,” Aang answered hesitantly. “But I never got their name.”

“Yes!” two of them high fived and Aang just stared at them. “Uh, sorry.”

“Anyway,” the girl with the binder said, “The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, originally simply titled the Blue Spirit, is a serial comic created by Li and Jin. They’re two artists in the Lower Ring, if you can believe that. But Li attends Ba Sing Se University!”

“Uh. Okay?”

She cleared her throat, flushing. “Um, at any rate, the comics are aimed at children and Li has been recorded as saying that he wanted to explain cultural differences through a fun story. And they deliver! The characters are great, the dialogue is snappy, the illustration is beautiful, and the plots are silly but fun.”

“Nothing will ever top the Fire Lord getting pie’d in the face, though,” the first girl said nostalgically.

“What?” Aang asked.

“Oh, I have that in my binder!” The girl flipped through several pages and landed on a comic panel pasted onto the paper. It depicted – exactly what they said. Fire Lord Ozai – who Aang had never actually seen in person, but he had seen a few paintings and it looked pretty accurate – receiving a cream pie to the face. Actually, the pie was drawn pretty well, too – it even had the lemon curd filling that Aang and Master Gyatso used to add for extra gooeyness.

That was surely just a coincidence, though. Right? It wasn’t like the Blue Spirit could really be–

“It’s a really famous picture now,” the girl with the binder whispered to Aang. “It’s the only thing like it that hasn’t been censored by the Dai Li. See, in The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, the Fire Lord has a legitimate reason to hate the Avatar.”

…was stopping him from destroying the world not legitimate?

“Oh?”

“Oh, I love this one. Show him the comic strip!”

“Here it is!”

Aang looked down to see a single panel of Fire Lord Ozai, this time wailing, “my hair!”

“Uh…”

“The Avatar was flying a kite,” one girl explained, “and he was messing with the wind currents – but it made storm clouds fall on the Fire Lord’s parade and ruined his hair!” They all chortled. “Literally you rained on his parade!”

Aang… did not know how to react to that.

“So anyway, the Avatar and his friends join the Blue Spirit and fight crime and evildoers!”

“Yeah, the Blue Spirit is a vigilante, you know that, of course,” one girl said and actually, Aang had not known that. “So they team up with the Avatar and with the whole Gaang–”

“Pardon?”

“Oh yeah, isn’t it great? It’s ‘gang’ but with 2 ‘a’s, like your name! To encompass all of you together!”

Aang hummed. He did like it, actually. Sokka would be upset that he hadn’t come up with it.

Especially if the person who did come up with it was really–

But surely it couldn’t be. How would Zuko have even gotten into Ba Sing Se?

From the confrontation between Aang and Zuko after Aang tracks down the creators of the comics (with some shippiness)

“Soooo,” Jin drawled, sprawling in a booth in the otherwise empty teashop, “guess what happened today?”

Zuko, busy wiping down a table, didn’t answer.

“C’mon, guess! It’ll interest you, I promise.”

“I dunno. You… had an idea for a comic?”

“That happens every day, Li,” she said flatly.

Zuko sighed. “Just tell me.”

“Fine, fine,” Jin paused, making him wait, and then she burst out, “the Avatar came by the shop!”

Zuko froze, blood draining from his face. The Avatar. The Avatar was here. The Avatar was here and knew about the comics, elsewise why would he have gone to Jin’s family’s shop?

Oh, this couldn’t be good.

“Li? You okay?”

Before Zuko could answer – negatively – the door to the teashop opened and the Avatar walked inside.

Zuko wanted to die. This was it. This was the end of him. This was when his cover would get blown and everyone would know and hate him and–

“Hi,” Aang greeted them pleasantly. “I’m looking for Li.”

Zuko just about swallowed his tongue. There was no way that Aang had failed to recognize him. The change in hairstyle did not make up for the huge disfiguring scar.

Raising a shaking hand, Zuko managed a strangled, “I’m Li.”

The Avatar smiled. What even–?

“I thought it might be you,” Aang said. “But I also kind of thought I was probably wrong.”

Not having any idea what to say, all Zuko could do was swallow drily.

“Huh,” Jin said, “you really have met the Avatar.”

Zuko flushed. “I told you!”

“You say lots of things, though,” Jin contested. Usually, Zuko was grateful that she let his slip ups go so easily, but right now, he was just annoyed.

“I don’t lie,” he frowned. That was a rule for him. His whole identity may be a lie, but at least he would do his best to live honorably.

Aang coughed and Zuko flushed brighter, jerking his attention back to the man who, technically, was still his enemy.

“Sorry,” Jin laughed, holding out her hand, “hi, I’m Jin. I hear you went by my family’s shop earlier looking for us?”

“You’re the illustrator?” Aang asked.

“Yep, that’s me!” Jin beamed, showing off her chipped teeth.

“Wow. You do a really good job of showing different places,” Aang complimented and Zuko stared. What was even happening?

“Oh, that’s all thanks to Li,” Jin demurred. “Sometimes I dunno whether his descriptions are accurate or not, but he believes in them so much that it just seems right to go with it.”

Zuko groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “Jin…”

Aang smiled wider and it made Zuko’s heart pound, cheeks turning pinker. “Well, you both create very good comics,” Aang said casually, as though Zuko wasn’t close to expiring on the spot.

“You – you read them?” Zuko croaked.

“Of course,” Aang said. “We had to see what was being written about us!”

Oh. Great. So all of Aang’s friends had read them. Fuck.

Oh Agni, did that include the most recent issue? Maybe he was lucky for once in his life and it didn’t–

Aang pulled out a comic and the cover was quite familiar. Jin had drawn the Blue Spirit in the middle in a ridiculous pose that really emphasized his butt – even moreso than the original draft, because Jin was an asshole and made the change after he complained. Behind the Blue Spirit were various headshots of the Gaang – Zuko came up with the name and he was rather proud of it – with little hearts all around them.

The cover proclaimed, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS THE BLUE SPIRIT'S SOULMATE – BUT WHO!? and the story was all about one of the regular villains, Sparkler – who totally wasn’t Azula – trying to find the Blue Spirit’s lover to blackmail him. After she was defeated, the true lover was revealed… with a kiss, because of course it was.

Zuko felt like he might cry at the absurdity of this being how his life falls apart (again).

“Sooooo, um…” Aang started and Zuko could not look at him.

“In my defense,” Zuko started, his mouth absolutely disconnecting from his brain, “it was a reader request.”

Aang tilted his head. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you don’t read the letters at the end of the issue?” Jin asked, “you really should, they’re quite fun. We answer questions and requests from readers – mostly kids, but sometimes their parents, too.”

“And a kid… asked about–?”

Zuko just nodded mutely, but Jin – the traitor! – explained, “they asked about who the Blue Spirit’s soulmate would be. And obviously – ow!” Zuko elbowed her hard in the side, but it was too late. Aang’s eyebrows were high.

“‘Obviously’?”

“I mean, have you read the flirting?” Jin asked. “Li writes fantastic banter, doesn’t he?”

“Fucking hell, Jin, shut up!” Zuko hissed, and he was sure that his face was hot enough to be steaming. Hopefully Jin wouldn’t question it.

“Oh, all right, all right, I’ll let you two talk alone. But don’t forget the afternoon rush will be soon!”

So saying, Jin sidled out the door, headed back to work. The Avatar opened his mouth as soon as she was gone and Zuko quite abruptly wanted her back. He scrambled around for a change of topic and grasped the teapot next to him.

“Tea! Would – would you like some tea? We have–”

“I liked the tea jokes in the comics,” Aang said calmly. How was he calm when Zuko was about to shake out of his skin?

The pottery clattered slightly from his trembling hands, but he served Aang a cup of jasmine tea. “Those mostly came from Uncle,” he murmured.

“Well, they were fun,” Aang said, taking the cup and immediately sipping it as though it hadn’t been poured by his enemy. Then he smiled. “Jasmine. I like jasmine. It was my mentor’s favorite.”

“I know,” Zuko said without thinking.

“You… know?” Aang blinked. “How?”

“Uh.” Oh Agni, how was he supposed to explain this. “One of the Elders at your temple kept a journal. It survived.”

Aang stared. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Zuko nodded. “Monk Tashi. He complained about how often you got into trouble and how Monk Gyatso only encouraged it.”

Aang inhaled sharply, breath hitching at Gyatso’s name. Zuko could only imagine how much the loss hurt him. If Zuko ever lost Uncle…

Okay, that’s all I got, but I’m very excited for this series, so I hope you enjoy!

[margret-jons-blog]

How to Make Big Money Online by Talking

Do you enjoy speaking and explaining things? Do you have a topic you're knowledgeable about, even passionate about that others want to know more about? And do you know someone who can intelligently talk with you about that topic? Then you can make fantastic money by speaking. Here's how... First, choose your topic. Use the same criteria you would use for creating any kind of info product – are people willing to pay for this info? Next, find a partner, preferably someone just as knowledgeable about the topic as you, or someone who has complimentary information and knowledge to share. Next, write an outline of what you will cover. Make sure the two of you agree on what will be covered and that you're not leaving anything out. 

Now talk on the phone and record the conversations using your conferencing service of your choice. It might take you one or several calls to cover everything. Really more calls are better, since the product you're creating will have a higher perceived value. Now get transcripts of the calls made, and sell the entire package as one product. You can do this from start to finish, including transcripts and sales letters, in 7 to 10 days. Result? You'll have a product you can sell for months and years to come. Split the profits with your partner, promote to both of your lists, place it on ClickBank, sell it through forums, etc. I know people who've cleared $50,000 to $100,000 on a product like this. Splitting the profits with your partner, you would walk away with $25,000 to $50,000. Not bad for spending a few hours on the phone. The shortcut you probably don't want to take: Yes, you can do this by yourself. Sure, you get to keep 100% of the profits after affiliate commissions. The problem? Your product will almost certainly not be half as good as it would be if you had a partner who knew as much about your topic as you do. First, there is a synergy and energy that develops between two people having a conversation that you just don't get talking to yourself. Second, your partner is bound to have information and stories you don't have. Third, one person lecturing can be – let's face it – boring. Fourth, a partner with their own list will double initial sales and help you to spread the word with affiliates, creating momentum from the first day you launch. Can you make a recorded product by yourself? Absolutely, and some people have been very successful doing just that. But everything else being equal, you're almost always better off partnering with someone else. Tips for making the calls/recordings: Keep the energy high and the umms, errs and ahhs to an absolute minimum. Have fun, smile, laugh and joke when appropriate, and give great, timely, usable information that will truly make a difference for your listeners. Your value is to quicken their learning curve so be sure to do this to the very best of your ability, and not only will you make money once, but some of these customers will be eager to buy future products you develop in the future as well! Read the full article

[chaosvents]

i hate election years living with my parents, man. the world is burning, the arctic is melting, the wealth gap is spreading, wages are stagnant, cost of living is skyrocketing, and rights are being taken away and regulated at the whim of old men with hearts full of hate. meanwhile i have to gently talk my mother through an explanation of why it's bad that donald trump said he'd be a dictator, but only on his first day. she also said if biden loses he will also incite an insurrection? and that idk what makes her think that but she also yelled at me for saying trump is a convicted criminal. "so is joe biden" not... not for attempting a coup in response to losing an election though. but she doesn't see the difference. granted my mom kind of revels in her stupidity, i don't really understand her. she's proud of not knowing things, but i'm very much the type of person who is trying to learn every minute of every day, i jokingly call it 'need to know everything disease' and it is a blessing and a curse. the curse is Knowing How Bad It Really Is, obviously. but the blessing is knowing wtf is going on with the world. but she's proud of not knowing anything i'm ever talking about. she's been married to my dad for almost 30 years and she jokes nonstop about how her eyes glaze over when he talks about his work (that he's been doing for 40 years). like... that's not the flex you think it is?

anyway. all rants end up with my mother because she's the root of most of my trauma. my point here is that i was telling her i was anxious about the election and she decided to spend a couple hours arguing. and her point just drives me nuts. basically, she's not voting out of protest ("i'll vote when i see a good option, im 55 and i never have"). no amount of gentle slow explaining can convince her why that's not the protest she thinks it is. her secondary point is that all politicians are vicious criminals who hate you. which, like, yeah, but she uses it as an excuse to play dumb. she's proud of not knowing literally anything at all about politics because the depth and breadth of her knowledge is "politics is boring and politicians are bad". like please. please. the anti-intellectualism is killing me. why do you hate learning.

and that's another thing she does that makes me insane! she's one of those "i make fun of you because i love you" people and bringing it up will just get you a fuckton more teasing. i've spent a decade begging her not to constantly make fun of and bully me because it makes me feel like im in school again. but every time i bring it up she asks "if i didnt tease you how would you know i love you?" as if i wouldn't feel so much more loved if she listened to me. anyway one of the things she teases me about is that i like to learn. i will bring up something cool i learned and she immediately bursts into laughter. i've asked her questions afterwards and she always answers like "i don't know, i wasn't really listening". i'll tell a story and she'll respond with something completely random in a way that shows she wasn't listening even a little bit. that happens especially when im excited and telling good news and she responds with "oh, it'll be okay, hopefully tomorrow is better". like???? okay not only were you not listening, you also see my excitement and joy and assume you need to comfort me? what the fuck is wrong with her.

my sister is a nurse and her and i talk about this all the time. my mom acts stoned constantly. she takes 30-60 seconds to respond to any question and her response is "...what?" at least 1/3 of the time. the rest of the time it's a toss-up whether her response will be a random sentence she pulled out of her ass, or something that has anything to do with the topic being discussed. she doesn't do drugs either! no weed, no pills, not even alcohol. i swear to god she's proud of being stupid and slow. like she's doing it on purpose. she never used to be like this. it makes me want to slap her. wake the fuck up! react to something! join a conversation! learn something about your kid or husband! fuck!

[spirits-child]

Why people hating on Zeus equals to hating on a whole ancient society and... it's kinda dumb

If you have been in the part of social media that discusses ancient religions or ancient mythology you might know Zeus is hated badly. If you worship Zeus like I do I’m pretty sure you are aware of how many people actually waste times of their live doing bad jokes of how every woman on ancient Greece was pregnant with Zeus's kid or another type of bullshit, and I’m tired of that. There are already like 100 posts on other Zeus worshippers giving their take on this topic but you know what? I want to be the 101 so here I am. I’f you hate Zeus I ask you nicely to grab your coffee, water, tea, whatever, sit and read this post.

this post is written with a target audience of people who do not have much knowledge aside from the myths and what social media say, I’ll be including the very basic theological and cultural aspects of Ancient Greece in this post so let’s consider this a baby course into epithets and the human kind changing their ethic code through time. 

Before we officially start I'm sure some Zeus haters already have arguments to throw at me as soon as they finish reading this post so let me tell you, as a MUN delegate who's obsessed with debate, some argument starters I won't even read if you start a sentence with them:

"I believe or I think" I'm sorry but I don't care about your personal biases I want facts.

"X media thing portrays" x media or x author is not a reliable source of information, unless it's a historian with good background resources or reliable sources I won't even take it in mind

"In other religions..." this is hellenism not other religions

"But in x myth" myths are not literal

"But x deity" all deities are different

Anyways, let’s start with what’s a myth, the merriam webster dictionary says a myth is  “a usually traditional story of ostensibly historical events that serves to unfold part of the world view of a people or explain a practice, belief, or natural”. My religion teacher back on catholic school also added to this definition a “moral code or cultural reflection religions implied into their followers”, and it's accurate.

In baby words, myths explain things our society can’t explain while also reflecting our culture and behaviours.

Clear? Clear. 

History has shown us that many religions don’t take their myths completely literally, most times they take them as metaphors or teachings to follow or simply they use them as propaganda to increase certains individual power, and this includes Ancient Greeks. If a king wanted to increase his power to scare people that may want to rebel he could easily say he was the child of Zeus, which is an explanation to why so many kings and heroes were kids of the all-mighty deity. Ancient Greeks also had to find a way to explain different phenomenons, and as many cultures before and after them, myths were a perfect way of doing so. To finish with myths and their uses, as many religions did and still do, the ancient Greeks needed a way to spread lessons to their people without the need of sitting them down and literally teaching them. Instead of doing this they preferred giving examples of things not to do. What makes Hellenism so different to actual modern religions is that the practice was and is more important that the actually texts, that can be a base but at the end of the day they are not the structure of the religion.

Now, a huge mistake many people commit is thinking the myths we nowadays read are the original myths. That’s a mistake. Ingrid Holmberg says in her essay titled as The Creation of the Ancient Greek Epic Cycle  “Their research (addressing Milman Parry and Albert Lord.) and the research of their followers has revealed that the Greek epic oral tradition formed a huge, interconnected, and variegated web of legendary and mythical narratives that comprised the corpus of the epic cycle(...).” Harvard university also addresses this topic by saying “Basically, the “question” came down to this: were the Homeric poems composed with or without the aid of writing? Parry’s project, the comparing of Homeric poetry with the living oral traditions of South Slavic heroic poetry, led him to conclude that the Homeric texts were indeed the products of oral composition.”

So tell me, years of investigation affirms that the myths were told from mouth to mouth, the poets did not write their original work down but after many years later someone did... the version written is a version passed generation from generation by someone who heard them from their parents who heard them from their grandparents that might have edited and changed the original version for hundreds of years. Knowing all this areyou’re still going to judge a culture and a religion through myths? Really? Because that’s plainly dumb.

Let me give you an example, I write you a message and then pass it through google translator 20 times, and send it. And actually did! The message I’ll translate 20 times is “Hello dear readers of the internet, this is an experiment with google translator to explain how dumb is to literally judge a myth that has been changed hundreds of times. Not only that, a myth that reflected a society with different a ethic code, in some hundreds of years if society still exists they are going to judge some things we do... so em don't waste your time on that”. After passing that message through 20 different languages in google translator this is how it ended up: Hello, dear internet reader, you will be judged not only by this, but also by some of the hundreds of years that we have done with the growth of social networks ... so don't waste time. Don't waste.

I’m not trying to say that historians and their translations are as bad as google translator, I know this people have studied years to do what they do, I’m just saying that the original stories were told so many times that we have hundreds of adaptations and changes. Here's an example, if you read a copy of the iliad written by x guy and then grab another copy written by another guy... you’ll find many differences in the translation.

Now that we got the translation clear thing you’ll probably still say “yeah anyways still myths say Zeus is a pr3d4tor who cheated on his wife muuultiple times”. And to that I’ll laugh ten minutes because yeah but no. Look at my beautiful hazel and eyes and tell me, do you think Ancient Greek men cared about women? And how they were treated? and how they were portrayed in the moment of explaining things?

If you say yes I beg you to go study some history. 

If you say no, bingo. 

A year a go I went down the rabbit whole of homosexuality in the ancient world, wrote an essay on it, and I found out men repeled women and they saw them as baby machines (i mean, some still do) so some societies had this idea that the closest relationship to love you could have with someone was with another man. So, understand that the ancient world didn’t give a damn about women. Most myths shows them as trophies, that’s no surprise for anyone at this point. So of course, they saw women as baby machines and as myths are reflections of society, do you really expect the Ancient Greeks to portray them as something else aside baby creators? Nooo!!!! Ofc they were not going to do that, they needed mothers to give an explanation to the hundreds of kings saying they were Zeus's kids, and they found them.

Okay now, some of you may ask why did he "cheat" on Hera... more cultural aspects being reflected. Here's what Jennifer Larson the writer of Ancient Greek cults has to say:

Now that we closed the marriage ethic issue The Zeus has many child joke or insult is even dumber because kids were so important for the social status in that era that they stablished the social status. During all Human’s story, money establishes your place in the social status: the more you have the higher you are. This also applied in the Ancient Greece. By having more kids it meant you had more to offer and to sustain your family, basically more kids = more money = more power = higher rank. 

Studying children and childhood is of great importance because it provides insight into social norms and social life in ancient Greece. Children were important for the parents, the home, and city. Not having children led to inability to pass on the property and wealth of the father.

If Zeus, the KING of the gods and mortals, father of humanity, doesn't have a lot of children then what do you think it would do to how Ancient Greeks perceived him huh. If they measured by kids ofc their higher deity had to have a lot because that gave him power, please, it’s pure logic. The fact that he has multiple kids is a perfect reflection of how the Ancient Greece society acted, do you really want to sit down and complain about it? Why don't you instead start thinking of a way of changing that capitalist mindset that still rules our society instead of bullying an old civilization and their cults.

—End of the cultural rant—

Okay cultural part has finished, let’s dive into my favorite topic ever: epithets. And I actually did like 3 polls on this, both on my twitter and my instagram, asking if my followers knew what an epithet was. I always had this thought that one of the reasons many people hate on deities is because they only see one side of their multiple-side self... and ofc the answer was no, they did not:

And epithets are soooo important to understand a deity, So assuming some people might not know what epithets are here is a brief summary extracted from a previous post of mine addressing epithets and their importance: Literal definition of epithet: an adjective or phrase expressing a quality or attribute regarded as characteristic of the person or thing mentioned.Let me give you an example: A friend of yours loves reading, they love it so freaking much, so one of your teachers is like “oh pepito the reader”, it’s obvious that pepito is a reader.Now examples with deities. Demeter Chthonia (of the Earth). WHAT DO WE ASSUME KIDS?! That Demeter is an Earth deity. Duh. And like that with all the deities. 

Epithets basically tell us how deities were perceived when worshipped, and many of the people who love judging Zeus have ignoring epithets as their favorite hobby so here I am, giving you a list of my favorite ones to take in mind: 

AGO′NIUS (Agônios), a surname or epithet of several gods. Aeschylus (Agam. 513) and Sophocles (Trach. 26) use it of Apollo and Zeus, and apparently in the sense of helpers in struggles and contests.

AGORAEUS and AGORAEA (Agoraia and Agoraios), are epithets given to several divinities who were considered as the protectors of the assemblies of the people in the agora, such as Zeus 

ALASTOR (Alastôr). an epithet of Zeus, describing him as the avenger of evil deeds. 

EVA′NEMUS (Euanemos), the giver of favourable wind

HETAEREIUS (Hetaireios), the protector of companies or associations of friends

HY′PATUS (Hupatos), the most high

LECHEA′TES (Lecheatês) i.e. the protector of childbed

NOMOS (Nomos), a personification of law, described as the ruler of gods and men. 

PANHELLE′NIUS (Panellênios), i.e. the god common to, or worshipped by all the Hellenes or Greeks

PHY′XIUS (Phuzios), i. e., the god who protects fugitives

POLIEUS (Polieus), "the protector of the city;"

SOTER (Sôtêr), i. e. "the Saviour"

Theos Agathos - The Good God

MEILIKHIOS (Milichius) Gracious, Merciful

After reading all this epithets I want to ask one last time, do you still think Zeus is a jerk? When he has the literal epithet of being a Good God? A merciful one? A protector? THE PERSONIFICATION OF LAW?

A fact aspect I want to mention is how people love to completely erase the good sides of Zeus portrayed in many myths. In the Iliad Zeus loves one of his most loved sons, he wants to go and revenge him because he's an amazing dad but he knows that if he does that he would be impartial and injustice to the other deities who have lost children but haven't been able to do anything about it. Instead he mourns in silence just to refrain from making other deities feel less privileged, this happens in the freaking Iliad and I'm sorry but I think that is a perfect example of how good Zeus is even if myths are not literal.

IZeus is more than the character modern media converted him into, he’s way more than that. He’s a deity, with multiple aspects and multiple stories that have adapted to fit into into ancient societies idea of what was a higher deity. All the arguments people have against him show that they do not understand how myths work and they do not understand that ancient times came with ancient ideals.

So please, research and form your own criteria before hating on something you don't actually know about. Give yourself the opportunity to listen all sides of the story and then after that you can say whatever you want. Most importantly, give yourself the opportunity to learn.

Hopefully this is my last post regarding this matter, if I quite changed your mind in any type of way then that's great, if I didn't that's on you. That's all I have to say and thank you for reading the post complete!

The Harvard post I quote at the beginning of the article is this one, if you have time please check it out : https://chs.harvard.edu/curated-article/gregory-nagy-orality-and-literacy/

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

can you pleasee do pt 2 to draco fucking his arranged marriage wife of the next day the reader being needy saying that she can’t get enough of him while he’s working in his office and he’s like “babe im busy😑” but then rails tf outta her right there😀 with like praise and daddy kink😩😩😩

read part 1 here

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

word count: 3.0k

warning(s): 18+, dom/sub roles, daddy kink, praise, slight degradation/humiliation, mentions of arranged marriage

a/n: i have been so excited to write a part two to this imagine the second i got the request. there will also be a part three coming soon so if you like these stay tuned! these have to be my favorite ones i've ever written.

It was the day after your marriage truly started. Although you and your husband, Draco Malfoy, had been married for weeks, the marriage truly began yesterday.

It had been a whirlwind.

It all began with you fucking your ex boyfriend, something you did in a desperate attempt to receive physical contact and get out of the house you had thought to be a prison.

When your husband came home, you decided it would be a brilliant idea to tell him. It was an arranged marriage, one that he did not seem enthusiastic to be a part of, so you figured there would be no hard feelings.

You were incredibly, incredibly wrong.

He had a lot of feelings about your adultery, but not only was there the anger and jealousy you were expecting, there was sadness. That had taken you by surprise, and only after poking the dragon, you finally consummated your marriage with your husband. Right there on the couch of the entrance hall.

After he had fucked you silly, you both reached the agreement that you would actually try to work as a real marriage. You had both made mistakes, and you were both ready and excited to move past those and really try to build a relationship out of what you had both thought was doomed from the start.

Which was why you were in front of his study, a hand raised and ready to knock, the following evening. He had been in there most of the day, working on a project for what you had learned to be connected to the Malfoy’s family business, but you were ready to put an end to his work day in the best way you knew how.

Your hand had barely connected with the wood when you heard a curt “Come in,” from the other side of the door.

You opened the door slowly and walked in, taking in the sight before you. There were papers scattered all over the desk, inkwells and quills mixed into the mess. Either you caught him at a bad time, or he wasn’t as tidy as you had assumed.

But it wasn’t the desk that caught your eye. It was him.

His button down shirt was rolled up the elbows at the cuffs. His hands, already littered with rings, were smudged with ink and deftly writing something down on a piece of parchment. There wasn’t a single hair out of place on his head, but what struck you were his glasses. You didn’t even know he wore glasses. But he looked damn good in them, because of course he fucking did.

“Yes?” He asked, a smug smile on his face as he watched you openly check him out. You hadn’t even realized he had looked up from the parchment he had been writing on.

“Just figured you could use a break, dinner’s ready,” you explained, quickly catching yourself.

“I’ll be out in a bit. I just need to finish this bit up,” he replied, an obvious dismissal but you had had enough of that over the past two weeks to last a lifetime.

“Draco, you’ve obviously been at this for a while. Just come take a break,” you argued defiantly, happy with the knowledge you finally felt comfortable enough to do so.

“Y/N, I’m busy,” he said gently, clearly not wanting to break the carefully made balance you had just created with a silly argument, but you couldn’t help yourself.

You admitted it to yourself when you walked in the room. You didn’t really want him to take a break just to have dinner with you. No. You wanted him to take a break so he would fuck you right over his desk.

“You can finish it later,” you continued, your arms crossed over your chest as you waited for his eventual push back.

But his argument never came.

Slowly, painfully slow, he began to stack up his papers in neat piles to put them away. Next were the inkwells being covered and finally the quills being put away. All without a word between you both.

When his desk was cleared, he finally turned his attention back to you.

“You come into my study and argue with me over taking a break just to go eat dinner. You haven’t bothered to ask me to dinner once over the past few weeks. So is it really dinner that’s got you so riled up, or is it something else?” He asked straight faced, but the twinkle in his eye led you to believe he knew exactly why you were arguing.

“Can’t a wife just want to spend time with her husband?” You argued, but it didn’t hold the impact you wanted the words to have.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said, pushing his chair back just slightly. “Come here,” he commanded, crooking his fingers in your direction.

With just two silly little words your skin was flushed and your nerves were on fire. You weren’t sure what type of hold this man had over you, but it ran deep for only having just fucked him the day before for the first time.

You followed his command without a second thought, and it led you to standing right between his spread legs with your back pressed up against his now pristine desk.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think my wife just wants to get fucked. Am I correct?” He asked, raking his eyes over your body greedily, taking in every inch of you. You were just lucky you dressed to impress tonight in a perfect, form-fitting black cocktail dress. It didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Yes,” you answered easily, completely giving up the fight now that you could see the hunger that you felt reflected in his eyes.

He gave you a slow smile before dragging you down to straddle his lap, perfectly placing you so you could feel his growing erection against your core as he kissed you roughly. It was perfect after a day of craving him so fiercely, and you knew this was only the appetizer.

His hands possessively roamed your body as he continued to dominate your kiss, finally landing on your ass to pull you closer against him. Your hands made quick work of taking his glasses off and gently placing them on the desk somewhere behind you before trailing through his hair, messing up his perfectly placed platinum locks.

You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding down on him, moans spilling from both of your lips at the friction. He let you do as you please for a few minutes, just enjoying kissing you and having you in his lap, but once your hands went to undo the buttons on his shirt, he gripped your hips roughly and pushed you back.

“Let’s get one thing straight, pretty girl. I’m in charge, and you’ll be a good girl and do as I say, won’t you?” He asked, running a thumb along your lower lip as he spoke.

You bit his finger gently before answering, and your answer only riled him up more than the bite did.

“Yes, Daddy.”

And just like that he unleashed himself on you, much like he had done the day before.

He had you on your feet and spun around faster than you could even blink. Within the next breath, your dress was being stripped off of your body and thrown across the room, your breasts exposed. When he had you bent over the desk with just a thong on, he finally opened his mouth again.

“You’re gonna be a good girl for Daddy, aren’t you, pretty girl?” He asked, dragging his hands up the back of your thighs until he was grabbing your ass again.

“Yes,” you gasped out, knowing you were already drenched from his words and touch alone.

When you felt his palm connect with your raised ass, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that fell from your lips.

“Yes, what?” He asked, rubbing his hands in circles to soothe the ache, but the contrast of his warm skin and cold rings only left you shaking.

“Yes, Daddy,” you answered, saying the words again.

They were meant to be a joke at first. Just another jest to rile him up and poke at him. But now, after having called him Daddy twice, it was starting to feel right. Like this was exactly the dynamic you were meant to be in with him.

“So much better. Look at you, already dripping down your thighs,” he mused, his finger trailing up your thigh in what you could only assume was a patch of wetness, a blush falling over your face at the thought.

He dragged your thong down your legs and slowly freed your feet before tossing the scrap of fabric across the room as well, leaving you totally exposed.

“Is this what you wanted? To be bent over Daddy’s desk just begging to be fucked?” He asked, his weight pinning you down as he bent over, slowly dragging his lips up the side of your neck as he spoke. You could feel how hard he was against your ass and you fought now to roll your hips into him, but you knew he would put an end to it anyway.

“Please fuck me,” you begged quietly, your words no more than a whisper as you played right into the fantasy he was spinning for the both of you.

“Patience, darling,” he said accompanied by a dark chuckle, but he didn’t leave you wanting.

He kept his weight on you, his lips leaving open mouth kisses on your neck that were sure to leave bruises for the coming days, but he dragged a finger up your slit and plunged inside of you.

You were so on edge that the one finger almost made you cum right then, but of course he was careful to make sure that didn’t happen. He teased you along until one finger turned into two, and by then you were a writhing mess on his desk.

“Daddy, please. I’m ready. Just fuck me,” you begged impatiently, all of your focus on him and his miraculous fingers.

Silently, he pulled back to stand up fully behind you. For a moment, you thought you’d be getting what you wanted, but you should have known it was too good to be true. You weren’t getting fucked until he thought you were ready.

You felt his thumbs pull your lips apart, and you knew all of his focus was right on you, right on where you were a dripping mess for him and that had you fighting not to squirm under his gaze.

“I told you to be patient, pretty girl. Or are you just that desperate to cum you couldn’t help yourself? Because this pretty little hole isn’t ready for me yet,” he mused, and his words forced an unexpected moan out of you.

You were exposed and aching, a true flushed mess in front of him, while he was a master of poise and control, still fully clothed behind you. Something about the situation made your head spin and your knees weak, and you knew you were in for a wild ride with this man. But you were willing to take anything and everything he threw your way because there was no denying you were enjoying every second of this. Not when he was holding you open obscenely and could see the evidence for himself.

“I want to cum,” you answered honestly, your breasts grinding on the desk and you arched your back, further exposing yourself in the hopes that he would fulfill your wishes.

While still holding you open, he used one gentle finger to stroke over your clit and it was just enough pressure to cause a shiver to run down your spine. If he kept it up, you knew you’d cum in seconds. “Go ahead, cum for me. Let me watch you make a mess of yourself,” he commanded, keeping the gentle pressure on your clit.

You came with a scream, your legs shaking beneath you. The desk was the only reason you stayed up, otherwise you would have collapsed from the force of your orgasm right there. It felt like one of the most intense orgasms of your life, all just from a little flick of his finger.

As you came down, you were gasping for air, just as desperate for your next breath as you were for Draco’s cock. No matter how mind shattering your orgasm had been, you were still craving more. You’d always crave more from him.

“That was beautiful, darling - watching you clench around nothing as you screamed for me. I think you’re ready for my cock now,” he mused, slowly stroking his hands up and down your back in an effort to calm your body, but every nerve was on fire from his touch.

“Please, please, fuck me Draco. I need you,” you were begging shamelessly now, not even worried about making a fool of yourself in this new marriage. You were both too invested in this moment to care, both of you just knew you needed each other.

“Shh, you have me, pretty girl. I’m right here,” he soothed, placing gentle kisses on your shoulders as he worked to free his cock behind you. “Stay just like that.”

You didn’t even know he had succeeded in taking his cock out until you felt his tip against your entrance, and he didn’t wait a second longer. He plunged into you like he was just as desperate as you were, which by the way he was fucking you in brutal strokes, you could tell he was.

Your hands clutched the edge of the desk for dear life, your knuckles a bright white against the dark oak wood. With every thrust, your hips collided with the sharp edge, sure to leave some marks for you to admire the next day.

You could feel the power behind each deep, hard stroke and you knew he was giving you his all. The previous night had been kind and sweet compared to the brutal fucking he was giving you now. You felt fucked within an inch of your life and he had barely even started.

“Fuck, Y/N. You take me so fucking well. So perfect,” he praised, not even sounding out of breath. Meanwhile, you couldn’t even control the noises that were coming from your mouth.

You climbed up the peak steadily, but even in your cock drunk daze you knew this orgasm would wipe you out. Once you were about to reach the edge, he pulled out.

“No, please, fuck. I was so close,” you whined, but a startled gasp came out of your mouth next when he lifted you up and spun you around, your back crashing back down on the desk with a gentle thud.

You finally got the chance to look at him, then. His cock was hard and aching, on the verge of falling over the edge himself. His hair was disheveled and he had that glow that only sex could bring coming from his perfect skin, but when you locked eyes you couldn’t look away. His silver eyes were clouded with lust and possession, a man closing in for the kill on his prey. It was terrifying and arousing all at once, but you were sure your own eyes reflected something similar.

Draco wasted no time in hoisting your legs over his shoulders and coming down to take your lips in a brutal kiss just before fucking back into you, his pace the same as it had been in the previous position. He swallowed your moans greedily, but finally pulled back to just concentrate on your face.

“I needed to look at you when you came on my cock. Show me how pretty you look when you fall apart for me,” he ordered, but his voice was gentle and there was a smile fighting to tug on his face. It didn’t hold the same dominance his previous commands did, but you followed it all the same.

One, two, three thrusts later you came with his name on your lips as he fucked you through it. It was like your whole world blacked out and only the two of you existed, suspended in this moment as he stared down at your blissed out face. He followed you shortly, and the feel of him emptying himself inside of you accompanied by the litany of choked out praises he was giving you was almost enough to push you into a third orgasm.

You both stayed like that as the minutes passed, chest to chest and near face to face as you caught your breath. It was no easy feat after an orgasm like that, but finally he was wrapping you in his arms and balancing you in his lap as he got comfortable in his desk chair once again.

“Was that too much?” He asked, the concern dripping from his voice as he tenderly brushed your hair from your face.

You could have laughed at his concern. That was the best sex you had ever had in your life, and he was asking if it was too much. But you didn’t want to worry him.

“Draco, that was perfect. I loved every second of it,” you told him honestly, tilting your head up so you could look him in the eye so he would have no room for doubt.

It was him who laughed then, in sheer disbelief of the woman curled up in his lap. “I got too lucky with you. You’re perfect,” he said with a smile, a small kiss to your forehead following his words.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you insisted, curling further into his chest as the events of the evening finally wore on your body. It was comfortably silent for a few minutes as he held you, until you remembered why you had truly come into his study in the first place. “But I was serious when I came in. Dinner’s ready,” you reminded him with a slight giggle.

“How about I get you up to bed and we eat dinner in bed, hm?” He asked, already lifting you up and carrying you towards the door.

“Sounds perfect,” you said, relaxing against his strong chest as he continued to prove just how lucky you were to end up in this arranged marriage.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Nineteen. The Bench Trio and Sapnap make Phasmophobia 10000% Funnier

warnings: swearing maybe, word count: 3.5k (not including pictures) 

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

note: wooooo last chapter before... the trip........ be excited >:) 

**********

Y/n grimaced in anticipation as she looked at Karl’s wide eyes and open mouth as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He hadn’t said anything in almost a full minute and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take.

“Say something, Karl,” she mumbled as she tugged on the strings of her new, lime green hoodie. She stared at him as he switched between leaning his elbows on the countertop and standing up straight with his palms pressed to it instead.

“I... wh—what?” Karl finally voiced his scattered thoughts, cackling abruptly as he threw his head back and clutching his stomach. “WHAT THE HECK, Y/N?!” He stood up straight and beamed at her, his eyes darting to her hoodie and then to her face. “Dream sent you his own hoodie?? How am I suppo— what in the— WHAT? Is this one his?” His fingers gently tugged at the hem of the material as he stared at it, eyes full of curiosity.

Y/n shook her head, face burning at Karl’s joy and surprise. “This one is just the merch one he sent. His hoodie is… very obviously his.”

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

Y/n laughed lightly before leading him to her room, where the maroon hoodie lay neatly folded on the end of her bed. Karl picked it up and laughed. “It has a Florida thing on it?” he giggled and shook his head, not being able to get enough out of the whole situation and his best friend’s clear embarrassment. “Why aren’t you wearing this one? Too shy to flaunt your boyfriend’s clothes?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she clarified quickly, sending Karl a sideways glance. “But I’m trying to… you know… preserve it.” And because she worried that if she never took it off, she would only get more and more attached to the boy who lived three states away, hundreds of miles from her. She preferred sleeping in it over wearing it around the apartment. It was more comforting that way.

Karl lost it. He cackled maniacally and nearly fell on Y/n’s bed, losing his mind at how stupid the two were. “Preserv—Y/N! If you just tell him you like him, he’ll probably give you a new one when we go to his literal house.”

Y/n’s face heated up even more as she hummed. “About that…”

Karl’s laughter stopped abruptly, wide eyes staring at the girl. “No way.”

Y/n cowered lightly, nodding her head ever so slightly.

Once again, the curly-haired boy acted like he won the lottery. “NO WAY! Y/N, NO WAY! You’re lying, you told him??”

A wide grin spread across her face and she nodded as she recounted the details to him, almost like telling a little kid a fascinating fairytale. Karl’s face was glowing the whole time, his excitement for his best friend clear in his toothy grin and bright eyes.

He nearly tackled her when she finished, her hands tugging roughly at the hoodie strings, but tried to compose himself instead.

“Y/N! THAT’S SO AWESOME!! Wait, wait, wait, so, are you guys, like…?”

She shook her head. “We’re not dating, we’re just two people who like each other who are going to go on a date in…” she paused to the check the date on her phone and her stomach fluttered with excitement, “like, a week??”

Karl laughed and wiggled a little, his excitement nearly bursting at the seams. “Please, can I please give you a celebratory hug?”

Y/n laughed and opened her arms. “Of course.” He jumped at the opportunity, wrapping his arms around her in a huge hug and squeezing tightly. “Wait a minute, I’m mad at you!” she pulled away and Karl’s smile dropped.

“What did I do?”

“You and George knew how Dream and I felt and didn’t tell either of us anything?”

Karl raised his hands in defense. “No, hold on, to be clear, Dream himself didn’t say anything to me until, like, a week ago. I only knew before that because Sapnap and George told me stuff.”

“What the hell, Karl!! Sapnap too?”

“Yeah, of course Dream told him stuff, they live together and are best friends. Why wouldn't he know?”

“You’re all traitors.”

“We were sworn to secrecy! Both of you made us promise to not say anything!”

“That didn't stop you from talking to Sapnap about my feelings?”

“Ah, but I kept my promise and didn't tell Dream… you never said anything about Sapnap.”

Y/n gave him a deadpanned look and crossed her arms over her chest.

Karl paused. “Does it help if I tell you that we talked to Quackity about it too?”

“WHAT?” she snapped, though a small disbelieving laugh chased her words. “What, are you all just talking about us behind our backs? You told Quackity and Sapnap about my crush but you couldn’t have hinted at it to Dream? Or told me you knew how Dream felt?”

“You think I didn’t?” Karl laughed. “I hinted to you about his crush all the time, but you just never believed me!”

Y/n paused, recalling all the times Karl was super encouraging, promising things would work out, and even the times Karl straight up told her he thought Dream liked her. She pouted. “You know that I’m stupid.”

Karl stuck his bottom lip out in a smile. “You are. But you’re also ballsy and finally admitted you like him so all this can be in the past and you don’t have to be mad at me anymore. Right?”

“I’m not actually mad at you, Karl. I am embarrassed that you've told them things I’ve said.”

“Oh, no, no, don't worry. N one of us really explicitly said things you or Dream have said. We all mostly just complained to each other about how stupid you two were being,” he assured. “Well, Sapnap is Sapnap though, so he did tell us some very specific things Dream has ranted to him about regarding you.” He giggled as Y/n’s jaw dropped lightly.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “No, I don’t want it to ‘be in the past’ anymore; I want you to tell me everything Dream has told the others about me.”

“No! That’s private information. You can ask him yourself on your daaateee,” he sang, making her face heat up more.

“I’m going on a date with Dream,” she whispered in disbelief and Karl beamed at her. “Even better, you’ll see him in person in exactly a week.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “That’s so soon. Karl, I’m going to faint or something.”

The boy just smiled at her. “You’ll be fine. Naomi and I will hold you up if you need.”

A few days passed and Y/n found herself with her tucked her knees to her chest as she greeted her chat enthusiastically. “Today, it’s gonna be intense. Today we’re playing Phasmophobia!! So if you don’t like scary games or paranormal stuff or anything like that, feel free to not watch and just listen or even close out completely. I don't want anyone to get triggered or be actually scared or anything.”

She watched as hearts flew by in her chat and she smiled.

“Yeah, don't feel bad if you need to leave! But if you do want to stay, it’s going to be super fun and probably very chaotic. Today we’re playing with Sapnap, Ranboo, and Tubbo, and Tommy is in the call but he’s not playing.”

“And me!” Karl said from beside her and she laughed.

“Oh, yeah, and Karl is here in real life because he’s clingy.”

“That’s a lie; Bugsy is terrified so she asked me to be here for emotional support.”

“If I wanted emotional support, I would have asked Naomi to be here instead. You get scared easier than me.”

Karl laughed and looked at her chat

“Okay, so, yeah, remember to leave if you need to and take care of yourselves but I’m going to join vc now!” Y/n unmuted in the call, announcing her presence loudly. She switched her stream screen to the Phasmophobia lobby where her, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Sapnap’s lanky characters walked around aimlessly messing with stuff.

“Hiiii,” Tubbo dragged out sleepily. “Are you ready to be spooked by the scary game, Bugsy?”

“Yes, I'm so ready.”

“The Scary Game,” Ranboo laughed. “Trademark.”

“Hello, Bugsy Games,” Tommy greeted robotically and she laughed, responding in the same voice.  

“Hello, Tommy Innit.”

“How are you doing?” His voice was monotonous and reluctant, almost like he was being forced to be nice to her. She knew it was all a joke between them though, as Tommy had come to her for advice about things before.

“I'm doing well, how are you?” she laughed.

“'I'm doing well’,” he mocked. “How pretentious of you to say.”

“TOMMY,” Sapnap called out. Her nerves spiked at the new knowledge that Sapnap knew more than she had told him about her feelings for Dream. Not that he would ever say anything on a livestream in front of tens of thousands of people, but it still made her nervous. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO HER?”

“I'm not scared of you, big man,” Tommy explained. “I will say what I want to Bugsy and you can't do anything about it.”

“What about me and Sapnap combined?” Karl asked from her side. “We are the BugsyGames protection squad.”

“I think George is on it, too,” Sapnap declared.

“Can we be part of the protection squad?” Tubbo asked. “We can intimidate people with Ranboo’s height.”

“I'm the least terrifying person you will meet,” Ranboo claimed. “I am only tall.”

“I'm not scared of any of you,” Tommy assured. “I will continue to say mean things to Bugsy if I feel like it.”

“Okay, but you might be scared of someone we know, though. Someone who lives with me?” Sapnap hinted obviously. Everyone, including chat – who were spamming the name of that certain someone –  knew who Sapnap was referring to. Someone, who the mere mention of, made Y/n’s face heat up.

Tommy went quiet for a moment before mumbling close to his mic, “I'm sorry, Bugsy, you are not pretentious. You are actually a very kind person.”

She absolutely loved the fact that so many of their friends, joking or not, knew that Dream cared about her so much. Had it really been obvious all along, even to someone like Tommy?

“You're a menace to society, Tommy.” She smiled to herself as Karl laughed.

Tommy sputtered in surprise. “WHAT!”

“Are you guys ready to play?” Y/n asked as she went to the whiteboard in the game to start.

“Yes, let’s go!!!” Tubbo cheered.

Phasmophobia was eventful to say the least. Between Ranboo’s panic, Sapnap’s screams, Karl’s cackling laughter, Tommy yelling as he watched the stream, and Tubbo being blissfully unbothered by all of it, Y/n could barely catch her breath between laughing fits.

An outside observer might have thought the group was insane, and she felt bad for her chat having to put up with the obnoxious screams and cursing each other out, but it was the most fun she had had in a long time being able to mess around with this group of chaos she called friends. It only made her more and more excited for the upcoming trip, which was days away now.

“Okay, okay, I think I’m going to end here, is anyone going to stream?” she asked, still giggling from Ranboo’s latest bit involving him crying in the corner of the haunted building.

“I will be,” Ranboo announced.

“Then go start and I’ll raid you,” she offered, leaving him to thank her and leave the voice call to start his stream.

“Okay, thank you so much guys for playing! Wait, fit check?” she interrupted herself as her eyes caught the spam going through. “Chat…” Y/n trailed off with a laugh at the end. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but… you can’t see me. How am I supposed to give you a fit check?”

Tommy laughed from the other side of the call.

“Bugsy, does your chat not know you are faceless?” Tubbo joked, making her laugh.

“I-I guess not? Chat, we need to talk…”

“I can give a fit check for them,” Karl offered as he looked up from his phone. “I’ll just describe what you’re wearing.”

Y/n laughed but agreed.

“Do it, Karl,” Sapnap encouraged. “Feed the Bugsy stans. Then send me a fit check picture of you, Karl.”

Karl laughed. “Okay,” he said distractedly as he looked at Y/n. “She’s wearing, uh...”

“Can you even see her outfit or does she have the comforter around her like always?” Tommy asked, half genuine, half mocking.

“Actually, she doesn’t because she has her new hoodie on. So that, and just, like, black pants. And fuzzy socks.”

Y/n held her breath as she looked down and realized what hoodie she was wearing. The good one. Normally it was reserved for sleeping in, but she wanted the extra comfort it provided while she played Phasmophobia. Any hoodie would have done, but having Dream’s clothing wrapped around her body gave her an extra level of security that she was too embarrassed to ever admit aloud.

“New hoodie?” Sapnap asked. “Give the people some more info, Karl. What does it look like?” She couldn’t tell if there was malice behind his words or if he was genuinely curious. Did he know about Dream sending her one of his hoodies? They were roommates after all, Sapnap had to know, right? Especially since Y/n now knew that Dream told Sapnap a lot.

Karl looked at her with a huge grin, knowing exactly where the piece came from. “Yeah, super new. It has a Flori—”

“It’s just red,” she said quickly, giving Karl a wide-eyed look.

“Oh?” Tubbo asked. “W-why did you sound so suspicious? What kind of red?”

“Suspicious?” she scoffed. “What’s suspicious about a hoodie?” she paused before adding quieter, “And.... it’s maroon.”

“Interesting…” Sapnap said, his smile clear in his voice. He knew. He definitely knew.

The accusatory tone of his voice paired with Karl hiding his giggles behind his hand made Y/n pull her collar over her face in embarrassment. The action only caused the lingering smell on the material to fill her nose, but she wasn’t necessarily complaining.

“I have a maroon hoodie!” Tubbo related, oblivious alongside Ranboo and Tommy about the teasing going on between her and Sapnap. “What kind is it? Maybe it’s the same one?”

“Tubbo, you should not sound so pleased at the possibility of matching Bugsy,” Tommy sneered and Y/n momentarily forgot about the embarrassment of knowing Sapnap knew.

“Tommy, when we meet, I will personally make sure that you do not have fun.”

“Oh, I’m so excited for that!” Tubbo said obliviously. “It’s going to be so fun!”

Y/n glanced at her chat again and smiled at all the accusations that she was meeting up with some of the other streamers in the call. Little did they know how many of them were not only meeting up, but spending a week and a half vacation together.

“Me too, but chat doesn’t get to know anything about it.”

“Right, right, sorry chat!” Tubbo apologized. “You all are forced to stay out of the loop.”

“Oh, Ranboo went live, I’m going to end. I’ll talk to you guys later! Thanks again for playing!”

“Thanks, Bugsy!” Sapnap said. “It was fun.”

“Bye Bugsy…” Tommy dragged out and she laughed.

“Bye guys,” she said finally and muted, turning her attention back to her stream. “Thanks everyone for watching! And for everyone who donated or subbed or anything like that, thanks! I’ll stream again on Friday but after that I won’t be able to stream for a while, but I do have YouTube videos I will be posting so look out for those!”

She finally ended and turned to Karl after everything was shut off.

“Sapnap definitely knows about the hoodies,” Karl giggled at her expression. “Man’s voice was pure teasing, he knows.”

Y/n laughed and shook her head. “I know! What the heck. Thanks for hanging out with me, by the way.”

“Of course! I like hanging out even if I don’t get to play.”

“Even over your secret friend?”

Karl turned pink. “She’s busy. I’m also still not talking about this.” He stood up and Y/n smiled, dropping the topic.

“Karl, I was joooking.” She followed him out to the kitchen, where Naomi sat typing rapidly on her laptop, most likely cramming for an exam. Y/n’s phone buzzed from her pocket so she pulled it out and couldn’t help the smile or heat that made its way to her face.

Y/n excused herself from the kitchen — where Naomi was still typing furiously and Karl was now thoroughly entertained with something on his phone — to answer the incoming FaceTime call from Dream. She hit accept as she fell on her bed.

“Hi,” she greeted.

“YOU’RE WEARING THE HOODIE I GAVE YOU? HOW EMBARRASSING! HAHA LET’S ALL LAUGH AT Y/N FOR WEARING MY HOODIE!!”

Y/n frowned at his joke and hit the red end button underneath Dream’s face. Her screen defaulted back to her home screen before a new call lit up.

She answered again. “Are you going to be nice?” she asked, pulling the soft, red material over her face, leaving just her eyes to see Dream’s adorable pout.

“Yes,” he said softly. “Sorry.”

She smiled and released the fabric, showing her whole face again, which made the boy smile.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I watched your stream,” he started and she scoffed.

“I know, how else would you have known about the hoodie?”

“Well, Sapnap also texted me so even if I wasn’t, I would have found out.”

Y/n shook her head as her face heated up with embarrassment. She knew the trip was going to be full of teasing from practically the whole group.

“But I was saying I watched your stream and it looked like a lot of fun. Sounded like you had fun, too.”

“I did,” she confirmed. “I love those guys, they’re awesome. I love how everyone just bounces off each other, it’s so funny.”

“I can tell,” Dream laughed, “I haven’t heard you laugh that hard before.”

“Oh gosh, did I sound like a crazy person?”

Dream smiled and rubbed one of his eyes sleepily. “No, well, maybe a little but, like, in a cute way.”

“In a cute way? So I’m crazy but in a cute way? Yeah, okay, Dream.”

“No, I mean, like, your laugh was just super loud and energetic but it wasn’t obnoxious or gross or anything, it was adorable. It’s probably the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.”

“You might be a little biased.”

He hummed as he smiled at his screen for a few seconds. “Maybe a little, but so what?”

“You weren’t supposed to agree to that!” she said.

“Secret’s out that I like you so I get to say things like that now, Bug. As long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, I’m going to call everything you do cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Cute.”

Her stern expression broke with a laugh and she hung her head. “Got any ideas about our date yet?”

He smiled widely. “Yes.”

“What are they?”

“You really think I’m going to tell you? Absolutely not. You have to wait.”

“Can you at least tell me what day? You’re not making me wait until Georgia, right? The date is while we’re in Florida?”

“So eager, sheesh!” Dream teased. “But so am I, so yeah. I was thinking maybe the 23rd? Since you guys will get here on the 22nd?”

“Oh, who’s eager now? The day after I get there?”

Dream pouted so she smiled and assured him that she was just as excited for their date as he was. “I’m kinda nervous because it’ll be the day before Christmas Eve, so a lot of places will be super crowded and I know you said you don’t like big crowds so we might have to work around some stuff—”

“Dream, I’m honestly just excited to see you. Anything we do will be fun, I promise. I’m just happy I’ll get to see you and spend time with you.”

His worried expression softened as it was replaced with a fond smile. “Down bad, huh?”

Just like that, the tender moment was ruined and Y/n groaned, a laugh bubbling in her throat. “What is wrong with you? You’re the one stressing out so much about a date! You’re the one who’s down bad.”

“Yeah, but at least I can admit it.”

She shook her head at him for what felt like the millionth time and sighed. “I can’t believe I put up with you.”

“You must like me a lot, I guess,” he said, pushing her to admit it again.

“I guess I do.”

PREVIOUS | NEXT

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[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”

[acourtofsnakes]

Let Me Show You - Bucky Barnes x F! Reader (smut)

Gif by @buckysbarnes

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for a few months now, and the man has given you everything - literally. One night, Bucky encourages you to let go of your anxiety and let him show you just how sinful that mouth of his can truly be.

Warnings: 18+!!! Brief mention of drinking, Swearing, smut!!: Oral - f receiving, fingering, praise kink, arm kink, (Bucky kink?), unprotected PinV sex, fluff, encouragement

Word Count: 4k+ - I got carried away. 

A/N: Aaahhhh, my first ever request from @kaylee-krystal  I hope I did your idea justice and this is what you were hoping for. I added my own ideas for backstory and such, so I hope it’s okay 🙊thank you again, so, so much for requesting!!! I have reread this a couple times, but I’ve no doubt missed something somewhere, so apologies in advance. 

Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal @mypedrom @undiscovered-misunderstood

James Buchanan Barnes. 

Now there was a topic you could talk about day and night. 

And probably even in your sleep. 

You’d been dating for a few months now, and everyday was better than the last, even it did sound cliché. 

You’d met in a local Brooklyn bar, having frequented it now and then with your friends for relaxed nights out or after work drinks. 

The first time you’d seen the soldier, he’d been sitting at the bar alone, brooding over a beer. 

It had taken you a few moments, but you’d suddenly realised who it was. 

Bucky Barnes, ex-Winter Soldier, Avenger and now often seen with Sam Wilson. 

THE Bucky Barnes was sitting in your local. 

And instantly he had taken your breath away. 

A set of cheekbones that could cut glass with a jawline to match. Plush lips that looked irresistibly soft - and sinful. 

A tangle of dark hair that was begging to have a pair of hands run through to mess it up. 

You could see the broad line of his shoulders from where you were situated in the booth, and you went home that night imagining everything else about him. 

The next time you saw him, it was about a week later. You were waiting for your friend to arrive and had gone up the bar to get drinks ordered. 

And there he was, just like the last time. 

Only now, you saw that he had a pair of gorgeous eyes, a blue like the Arctic Ocean and just as deep. 

And they were settled on your face with a cheeky little smile, which only grew when you looked at him. 

Moments later, you were seated next to him, lost in conversation about whether the Hobbit was better than Lord of the Rings. 

After laughing at one of his jokes, he’d asked you out on a date, instantly enamoured with the way your eyes lit up like the Brooklyn Bridge and you radiated goodness. 

And the rest was history. 

One date fell into two, and then three, and then just like that... you were dating. 

Boyfriend and girlfriend. 

Picnics in Prospect Park and afternoons at the Smithsonian. 

Nights watching all the movies and tv shows he still needed to catch up on and mornings where you joined him on a run. 

It was beautiful. Sure, you had a few tense moments where you might disagree, or he might have a bad day where memories crept up and he lashed out, but you never backed down. Never ran from him or looked the other way. And he did the same for you. Holding you when you needed him to but firmly expressing himself if you ever went too far. 

It was healthy, enriching and you had both grown so much in just a few months. 

Especially in the intimacy department. 

You weren’t lacking knowledge or experience, not by any means but it was just... some things you were a little uncomfortable with. 

It wasn’t that you had bad memories of the past or had been hurt, it was more a personal thing. 

And you had explained some of these hang-ups to Bucky, who’d taken them all in his stride and been amazing about it. 

When you were in these moments, he would ask if you wanted to try something and if you said no, he respected it and moved on. And if you said yes... well. Then you got a lesson in just how good he could make you feel. 

Bucky had learnt your body in no time at all and... He was mindblowingly good. He knew exactly how to make you cry out his name like a plea, a prayer and a sin all in one. 

It had gotten to the point where you’d drift off in the day, your mind taking you back to the way his lips mouthed over your skin, the way his fingers arched and curled inside your walls just right to reach that spot that hard you arching from the bed all the whole those baby blues were locked onto yours, watching you fall apart with an adoring fire blazing in the blue depths. 

The man only had to give you that killer smile and you’d be instantly soaked. 

He was going to be the death of you one day. 

~~

“Bucky!”

The sound of his name bounced around the walls of your bedroom, high and keening as the fingers of his vibranium hand stroked your inner walls with a relentless rhythm and pleasure. 

“C’mon baby, that’s it..” he mumbled the sweet nothings against your chest, his mouth pressing kisses across your hot skin, over your collarbones and breasts. 

His hair tickled your neck as your tipped your head back, eyes squeezed shut and mouth  parted in pleasure. 

He was working you to your second orgasm of the night already. 

The man had practically pounced on you when you walked through the door of your shared apartment and you were only too willing to drop everything - underwear included - and lose a few hours. 

Your hips jerked against his hand, bucking in time with his fingers. The heel of his hand was pressed to your clit, applying delicious pressure with each pass of your hips as you chased down your release, feeling it coil tighter and tighter in the base of your spine. 

You slid a hand up into his hair, knotting your fingers in the silky chocolate locks “Fuck-“ 

God, you were so close, so, so close-

Bucky already knew, and he scissored his fingers inside you, sucking at your nipple and triggering your orgasm, gently pushing you over that edge. 

Pleasure tore through your body, making your blood sing and his name bounce through the room again. Every single orgasm he gave you made your body catch fire, and you felt it from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. Through the haze, you heard his lust roughened voice, cooing those praises that only succeeded in making you come harder, “Good girl. Look at you... you look like a goddess. A fucking goddess that deserves to be worshiped every single day.” His hot breath fanned over your skin, “Make me want to do this all the time, give you everything, baby.” 

He kept moving his fingers inside you, the noise filthy and almost forbidden as your slick coated his vibranium fingers. He moved and moved until you pushed lightly at his hand, the sensation almost too much. 

Bucky met your eyes when they opened, and he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking at them and he moaned low at your taste, a wicked grin spreading around them when you groaned. “I’ll never get tired of this.” 

Of your taste. 

You let out a soft huff of a laugh, feeling your body hum still as you beheld the sight of your boyfriend sucking your juices off his fingers, all dark eyes and ruffled hair. “You will be the death of me one day, you know that right?” 

His chuckle was husky and he kissed your neck gently, “Oh, I know. But you will too, so the feeling is definitely mutual, doll.” 

His lips brushed over your belly button and a ripple of apprehension tickled down your spine and you struggled a little to focus on his words. “Every day since, you just blow me away. Everything you do. The way you’re so determined, the drive you have.” His kissed above your hip bone, tracing his tongue over the skin and he drew a little heart with his saliva, “You make me want to be a better person. You make me feel brave enough to make amends, to let go of my past and accept it.” His words were so heartfelt, so meaningful that they threatened to bring tears to your eyes. 

But then his lips brushed lower, and you knew where this was going. 

He had tried before, a couple of times now in the last few months and each time you’d stopped him. 

And each time, he did so without hesitation and just moved on. 

Your eyes snapped open, spine locking up, “Bucky.” 

Instantly, he stopped. His head lifted as he heard the hesitancy in your voice, the apprehension, “What is it, baby? Are you okay?” His lust-blown eyes were wide, a frown between them as he looked over your face for the cause of you stopping him. He realised what he did and his face softened, “Shit, baby... I’m so sorry.” He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh. 

Your heart was pounding through your chest and you were convinced he could hear it. “No, I’m sorry. It’s not you... I just... um..” 

Oh, you wished the ground would swallow you up. 

Bucky’s warm, broad hand rubbed soothingly over your thigh and he felt the tremble in your body, “Hey... relax. It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me... .”  

You swallowed, shame tinting your cheeks and you stared at the ceiling light, too afraid to look at him. But he had shared so much with you... and you wanted to share this with him, “No one... no one has ever...” a cringe took over your features, “Gone down on me before.” 

Silence. 

Oh, god. 

Your voice came out quiet, hesitant, “Bucky...?” Gathering your courage, you peered down at him. 

He was staring at you, that frown still between his eyes as he looked over your face. He had his suspicions as to why you didn’t like it, but he was never sure. “Is it because... Have people refused to? Because if they have, they were not worth your time. You are beautiful, completely and utterly beautiful and deserve to have someone worship you like that.” there was a tone to his voice, like he would go and tear into anyone who refused to give you such pleasure. 

Oh. 

Shaking your head quickly, you sat up on your elbows, “No! No, it’s not that. They’ve asked to it’s just... me.” 

It was true. 

You had partners who asked to go down on you all the time but... something in you just couldn’t. You weren’t sure entirely why. 

Whether it was the idea that someone would be so close... there. 

What if you weren’t... pretty enough?

What if you didn’t taste good?

What if.... you did something wrong?

It had always been a bit of a hang-up, and even when your friends described how unbelievable good it felt... you just couldn’t do it. 

Bucky’s eyes danced between your own, as if he could read all of this in your expression. He let go of your thigh, crawling up your body and he slide a hand around your jaw, his fingers resting behind your ear, “Baby... you have nothing to worry about. You are absolutely gorgeous, so, so beautiful. Every single thing you do, it blows my mind.” He stroke his thumb over your cheek, “You can walk to me in sweatpants and my hoodie and I’m struck dumb.” 

You laughed a little despite yourself and he copied you, eyes lighting up when you did, “Having someone go down on you... it’s like the ultimate act of worshiping. You are in control. You tell me when to stop, pull me closer or push me away... On my knees for you, tasting you and taking you to that edge.” He cocked his head, “It’ll feel a little odd at first but when you’re used to it... Oh, doll, it’ll feel so good.” 

His words filtered around you, moving through you. 

You knew he was good at his craft, at reading your body. And you also knew he would never make you feel uncomfortable and he would always stop if you asked him to. 

And god, there was a part of you that so desperately wanted to feel it, to feel someone’s tongue between your folds, moving inside you, between your thighs...

An image came to you, his dark locks nestled between your thighs, rumbling moans vibrating against you as you arched above him...

“Okay.”

He blinked, perhaps not having expected you to accept so quickly., “Are you sure? If you’re not-“

You swallows, lifting your hand to his on your cheek, “I... I want to. Show me. Show me how good it feels.” 

Bucky looked deep into your eyes, checking for himself and when he seemed satisfied, he nodded gently. “Okay... Okay. If you feel uncomfortable, if it hurts or it’s too much, please tell me to stop. Use the safeword, hit the top of my head, kick me, anything. Okay?” 

God, he just cared so much didn’t he. 

Heart melting, you nodded again, a smile mixed of anticipation and a little bit of nervousness on your lips, “Okay. I promise.” 

Sndjcidks djcocks djckc

The approach of your impending third orgasm was almost painful, the heat in your belly tightening impossibly, every single muscle in your body locking up and screaming for release. 

Bucky was there, already reading it in your body and his free arm lifted from across your waist, reaching up and sliding through yours. 

You tightened your fingers around his cool metal ones, your hips now free. 

An instinct came over you, and you began to rock your hips against his face- 

Heat and shame flushed your cheeks and you opened your mouth to apologise, to try and stop your hips from moving - 

But then Bucky let out a rough moan that reverberated through your walls, through your clit and you realised - he liked it. He liked you fucking yourself on his tongue, smearing your slick over his chin and lips. 

Holy fucking god. 

You wanted this, you wanted this all the time, him all other time. 

Bucky rubbed harder at your clit, running tight circles and his tongued slide over your folds and then speared inside you, like white hot fire. The tip of his tongue stroked that spot, that spot that he seemed to have a direct route to and then - you were falling apart. 

Your orgasm barrelled down into you relentlessly, searing through your body and turning you to light and stars and something entirely ethereal. 

It felt like every cell in your body exploded, sending shockwaves of pleasure through you that just didn’t end. 

Bucky took it all, took every ride of your hips, every clench of your thighs around his head and he worked you through it, tongue lapping up your juices like a man starved as you came apart above him. 

He didn’t let you go, holding you steady in the whirlpool of pure sensation as you ever so slowly came down back to Earth. 

You panted softly, your eyes slowly opening to the familiar ceiling of your bedroom. 

Fucking hell. 

Fucking. Hell. 

A stunned laugh escaped your lips and you unclenched your fingers from Bucky’s hair, rubbing over your face. 

He pressed soft kisses to your thighs, trailing up your body and then lightly pressing his lips to yours. 

You could taste yourself on him, and it was intimate and a little filthy and god - you loved it. You loved him. 

Kissing him back with equal fervour, you couldn’t stop grinning. 

Bucky matched your wide smile, his body held up over yours and he brushed back your damp hair, “How do you feel?” Always looking out for you. He pulled away gently from your lips, trailing his mouth over your jaw. 

You chuckled again, breathlessly, “I feel... amazing. Like my body is singing.” You shook your head just slightly in awe, “I don’t know how I’ve gone so long without that. You’re fucking good...” 

You felt his shit-eating grin against your jaw, his teeth lightly nip your skin, “See... I told you. You deserve to be worshipped, baby. And I plan on doing it again and again, on my knees, under you, over you... like the goddess you are.” He brushed his lips over the shell of your ear, his voice a rough, husky whisper, “And I plan to carry on right now.”

The rest of the night fell away as he slipped back inside you effortlessly, and you climbed to the sky together again and again, and all you could think was... This was it. 

You’d only been with him for a few months but in that time he had shown you more than anyone ever had. He had lovingly and carefully peeled back your layers and revealed such a shining light beneath, the light that had always been there and he had seen since that first meeting. 

You wanted this forever, all the time. His love, his trust...

And his lips and tongue.