#exclusionist m

[findadnibanner]

hello! would it be possible to get a pastel goth themed dni banner with streber from spooky month on it? as for the dni stuff, i would like to have the basic dni stuff as well as anti-agere and anti-petre if possible :3c

i couldn't find any good transparent pictures of streber so i had to manually erase the background which is why it looks so bad lol

here you are! as always, feel free to reach out if i need to make any modifications.

[januscorner]

Lesbian is not non men for non men

Even ignoring m-spec lesbians you’re completely ignoring the existence of multigender people. Just shut up

[upon-the-last-day]

Collection of Moxxie icons we collected whilst editing! Free to use with a like and/or reblog ^^

[umbralundertaker]

Exclusionists love to say "dont call me an exclusionist" like. Dont exclude identities then. Its that easy

[corporatecoinings]

DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK

Emojicode : 🐲🌈🔥/ 🐉🌈🔥

LINK TO THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK CARRD

A new label! Dragonqueer/dragonpunk (either name works, same thing!) is a queer stance about not being afraid to show how prideful you are about yourself, not being afraid to show yourself, or at least have a desire to want to express how you TRULY are and give the bird to the societal norm standards and those that hate you, existing to spite them; dragonqueer/dragonpunk beings can still live in caves (be closeted) too, however. A major aspect to dragonqueer/dragonpunk is also hoarding a shit ton of labels that describe yourself! Dragons love their hoards :) 

Due to history of dragons, they are seen as either evil and terrifying or benevolent and kind. Dragonqueer/dragonpunk aims to be both; be punk, be scary, be yourself, be unforgiving for who you are while also being a kind-hearted and loving being. There are dragons of all kind; western, easter, wyverns, wyrms, hydras, and so there is too in queer communities. Whichever kind of dragon you are is completely up to you, and you alone; you decide who you are. 

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk supports/believes…

LGBTQ+, MOGAI, LIOM, etc.

Xenogenders, neopronouns, etc.

Neoagabs/xenoagabs

Good-faith labels

Systems of all origins

Arissomei, desirdae, chronosians, aldernic, aldersex, allions, vesil, vior, xenonatured, eiment, etc.

Otherkin, therians, non-humans, alterhumans, etc.

Neurodivergent, mentally ill, disabled beings

Beings with munchausen's syndrome, factitious disorders, etc.

Hypersexuals 

Gender hoarders / gender collectors 

Multigender / polygender / etc.

Safe and anti-contact paraphiles (not acting on illegal shit??? This should make sense.. If its harmful. Dont act on it.)

Microlabels

Atypical dysphoria

PLUR

M-spec lesboys, turigirls, etc.

Contradictory labels

Systemarchy 

Pluralpunk/systempunk

Furries

Age/pet regressors

MAD pride

Reclaiming labels you can reclaim (queer, dyke, fag, freak, etc.)

Anti-psychiatry

Being endogenic/willogenic is not the same thing as being “transplural”

Educated self-diagnosis

Fiction affects reality

You can be trans without dysphoria

You can be a system without trauma

OC x canon is epic as long as its legal

Objectum and robosexuals

Supporting ex-cops, ex-gov, ex-military, ex-radqueers, ex-transids, etc. that have left their community and wish to recover

Abortion rights, womens rights, animal rights, etc.

Atheism

Kink at pride (when there are no bodily minors)

BDSM (as long as everyone consents and there are no bodily minors)

recovering/ex-religious beings

Consentual recovery for those that want it 

Supporting victims 

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk does NOT support/believe...

Harmful and pro-contact / neu-contact zoophiles, pedophiles, necrophiles, etc. (yet again if its harmful dont fucking do it)

Minors in nsfw communities, minors in kink, or having public kink where minors are around

That “all men should die” or “all women should die”

Harassing innocent cishets

Active radqueers and transids/transx

Terf, radfem, transmed, sysmed, etc. views

Harmful religion

Demonizing or stigmatizing disorders

Singlets in syscourse

“Superstraight”

Heavy political views, such as conservative and liberal

Proshippers, comshippers, darkshippers, etc. (how hard is it to say no illegal, abusive, etc. ships holy shit)

Lolitas and shotas

Racism or prejudice of ANY kind

Ableism

Forced recovery

Mental asylums

Exclusionists

Bigots

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk is neutral on...

Religion in general (dragonqueer/dragonpunk is inherently atheist)

catqueer

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK. PEOPLE THAT WANT TO "RECLAIM" THIS LABEL WILL BE FACED WITH FIRE !!!

@ghosting-plural-userboxes thought you'd wanna see this, just comment if you want us to remove your tag from this post ^-^

[esf-art-and-design]

You wanna know something crazy?

I work for a LGBTQ+/Queer non-profit, I’ve had to sit in on training seminars on how to best support our community, how to create a space that is actually safe for everyone in the community, etc.

You wanna know the one thing that was emphasized by these professionals running these seminars (who are also a part of the community btw)

Telling queer people what their labels for their identity ought to be is extremely harmful.

Gatekeeping the community from other people who are figuring themselves out because of labels is harmful?! Shocker I know, but yes it is.

You know what this means right? It means that:

You don’t get to tell a guy experimenting with queer sex that he’s gay/bi/queer/etc if he ID’s as straight

You don’t get to tell a woman experimenting with queer sex that she’s lesbian/bi/queer/etc. if she ID’s as straight

You don’t get to tell aces who are hetero sexual/Romantic that they don’t belong in queer spaces

You don’t get to blame bi lesbians/m-spec women for creepy cishet men entering wlw spaces to hit on women (in an entitled way) (that’s called misogyny babes)

You don’t get to tell someone they are unlovable/not deserving of a relationship/etc. because of the label they use

You don’t get to tell people that actions invalidate their labels because “actions speak louder than words”

You don’t get to demand to know what labels someone uses because of their actions. (Or you don’t force someone to out themselves)

You don’t apply labels to someone from pure speculation (you could be outing someone and putting them in danger)

You don’t get to tell people their labels are “contradictory” or “don’t make sense” and demand they choose one label over the other

Other Labels cannot harm your own identity, and if you act like it can your wrong and harming the community

And ultimately, It means that according to actual professionals within the lgbtq non-profit space, the exclusionists in the community are wrong and are doing immeasurable harm.

Basically what I’m saying is that everyone is welcome here on my blog, policing identity is harmful, and yes, the exclusionists that told you that your identity is invalid or made fun of you for your identity we’re so fucking wrong.

Everyone who experiences sexual orientation, attraction, gender identity, and gender expression differently belongs within our community.

Gatekeeping only keeps people deserving of services away from the spaces where they can get those services. It keeps them away from peer support. And that’s not good, especially if you know the statistics for self harm and suicide within the community.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #6452:

Biphobes, Aphobes and Transphobes be out there acting like people claim they are oppressed for liking m/f ships, when the true issue is that queer people who do not fit certain exclusionists idea of how a queer person should be get attacked for liking things the exclusionists think are not queer enough, such as queer women shipping not exclusively femslash. Shipping m/f ships is not the issue, the issue is getting their queerness erased for something so insignificant as shipping m/f ships.

Pretty sure most of these people whining "Uuuh straight people act oppressed for shipping m/f" are actually people who attack other queer people under the premise that they could not possibly queer enough if they do this or that so they have to be evil straights.

[pluralprompts]

[Had an error when trying to post an ask. This is our attempt at a work-around.]

Anonymous asked: Could you please put that your pro-endo in your bio? Considering the main difference between antis and pros is that we define "all plurals" differently, it's not very clear what you meant, and I thought you were anti-endo until I went through every single one of your side blogs mentioned in your pinned post

-an anti-endo who loves your prompts, the newest prompts tags just took me off guard <3

As you have noted, We use the term "plural" in our posts and blog name, which is inherently inclusive/pro-endo and has been since its coining decades ago, so I am not going to honor this unnecessary request. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you're using "plural" in any sort of anti-endo or generally exclusionist way, you are using it incorrectly, since it originated as an inclusive alternative to terms that had more medical associations. I'm honestly offended that you thought I was part of the same group of exclusionists that has openly and repeatedly told me they want me dead, have sent me gore in response to a positivity post, recently invaded inclusive tags to spread hate, and regularly tell me to kill myself – hell, you yourself are admitting that you are against my right to self-determination if not my very existence, alongside my religious and spiritual beliefs (I don't have to tell you how this in particular is an asshole move, do I?), and believe that you somehow know what's going on inside my head better than I or even – at the very least, if you won't listen to me and the thousands of other endogenic systems about our own lives – the doctors actually studying endogenic plurality do, considering our endogenic origins. I will not block you so that you can see this response, but you are not welcome here. Here is a document full of sources about endogenic plurality existing and being recognized as a real and valid scientific phenomenon, not to mention how it is a cultural, spiritual, and religious practice found around the world; I hope you educate yourself and grow as a person. You seem to be trying to be polite, so I can only hope that you are just someone who has been horribly misinformed about pro-endos and endogenic systems.

However, at the same time, please understand that you are asking a blog with an inherently inclusive term in the title and all their posts, and a pinned post that clarifies yes, they do mean they support all systems (and advise those who don't support all systems not to interact), to put a separate warning in their bio that yes, they actually really do mean it when they say they support all systems. The thing is, I wouldn't have a problem with this request if it wasn't under this context. You yourself have admitted that you read my pinned post; how did you take the section that says all systems/plurals are welcome (and exclusionists like you are not) and somehow think it meant we didn't actually mean all? If you're excluding anyone from your definition of "all plurals" by adding little rules like "must be traumagenic", you don't mean all. You mean some. You, as an anti-endo, as an anti- certain plurals, only support some plurals. Someone who is against part of a community does not support all of a community; they only support the part of the community they are not against, which is only some of the community. This is how quantitative words work. Just because you have decided that the part of the community you personally choose to support and give basic respect to is the only "real" or "valid" part of the community doesn't mean the part you don't support stops existing or stops using the label you claim to support fully and without any restrictions or rules (since that is what supporting all of a community means); you don't actually support all plurals, and I'm concerned that you ever thought you did. I could break out a Euler diagram if it would make it clearer that only supporting some does not mean supporting all, and that supporting all does not mean supporting only a particular group. That's like saying you support all animals while being anti mammals and, at best, believing they're all actually confused and misguided birds – or, as I'll elaborate on in a moment, saying you support all queer people while being an aphobe who, at best, thinks aspecs are all just confused and misguided gays. That is not support, and you are certainly not giving your actual respect to all plurals. I say this delicately, but I don't think you should be participating in syscourse if you have trouble with the concept that excluding people from a label means not being inclusive of all people who use that label.

If a comparison will help you understand our response, especially the passive aggressiveness that I can admit is fully leaking through – this ask is essentially the same as how aphobes, during the years of "ace discourse", would occasionally react with surprise that queer blogs supported aspecs, despite aspecs being documented parts of and contributors to the queer community for decades, and queer being an inclusive term. In essence, "I know you're using an inclusive term that both historically and in the modern day includes people I hate, but I really thought you would agree with me that said marginalized group that I hate shouldn't exist, and that this community would be better off if they were all gone!" Meanwhile, aphobes were posting gore in the aspec tags, making fun of the murder of an asexual girl, spreading lies of pedophilia about anyone who showed support for aspecs, and telling aspecs that they were lying about the discrimination they've faced, that their sexualities were just trauma responses or mental illnesses, that they were broken and needed to be "fixed", that they were "stealing terms" and "making the community look bad", that they were making it all up for attention, or just straight-up to kill themselves. None of these examples are all too dissimilar from what I regularly see anti-endos saying and doing – some of them are the exact same save some of the specific words used by these bigots swapped out for more system specific ones. Just today I saw an anti-endo claim that pro-endos are "grooming children" just by being inclusive, like how aphobes claim aspec people are "grooming children".

Yes, I am aware this is harsh to hear. No, I am not going to apologize – your community and hatred is part of the reason we have traumagenic origins (hello, the one writing this is a protector who split specifically due to the trauma you anti-endos inflicted on us!! In other words, your community is directly responsible for my traumagenic existence!! Should I be thanking you for allowing me a chance to experience the better parts of life? Hm, nah.) and are scared to interact with others who share our own damn disorder. You claim the "main difference" between us and you is that we define "all plurals" differently, but from where we're standing, the "main difference" is that pro-endos aren't regularly traumatizing, harassing, suicide baiting, mocking and insulting, spreading misinformation about, using slurs against, wishing harm on, and fakeclaiming the other side, often for merely disagreeing with them. We just came out of a harassment campaign in which anti-endos spread hate in our inclusive tags and spaces for weeks. I'm fucking sick of syscourse and being told I should kill myself for the "crime" of being inclusive of endogenic systems like the ones that helped me accept my plurality in the first place, or the pro-endos that create resources that help me manage my DID and not be a dissociative wreck all the time. To say the main difference between our communities is "how we define 'all plurals'" is a spit in the face of all the shit I and many, many others have faced from anti-endos like you over the years.

If you change your stance and learn not to hate others for their religions, cultures, traits they can't control, and personal beliefs and choices about their own body and mind, we will be happy to welcome you to our community and this blog. But until then, you need to re-evaluate your priorities and morals in life. Are you fine with being part of a community that twists others' words on the regular to make it seem like they're promoting child abuse? Are you chill with the fact that I exist as a protector to defend my system from people like you, the same way many others in my system exist to protect us from other abusers and threats to our safety and health? Are you okay with telling a living, breathing person you admire and enjoy the work of that you disagree with their identity and existence, and that you ally yourself with those who want them dead just for existing, have even personally threatened their life and well-being, as you have just done with this ask?

What took me off-guard was this ask and just how horribly you seem to be unaware of basic concepts like "plural is an inclusive term signaling someone is pro-endo" and "'all systems' does not mean 'only traumagenic systems'." But I guess in a way, it's only fair; you mistook me for one of those who hate my guts – while I can't tell even as I type this if you are a troll or not.

TLDR: No, we will not clarify in our bio that we are pro-endo, because there is no need to do so when we already use terms that signal that everywhere on our blog, and our pinned post even clarifies our stance in the rare case someone doesn't know the signal. You have been horribly misinformed; you cannot support "all plurals" while being against certain plurals, and "plural" is an inclusive term anyway even without that clarification. Again, you have misunderstood our pinned post which tells anti-endos like you to fuck off, which is almost funny considering we put that section in the post due to the horrendous amounts of harassment we and other pro-endos (not even just endogenic systems; a lot of anti-endos group all of us together as "fakers spreading misinformation") have faced from anti-endos like you. Please go think about the kind of people you're spending time with, and ask yourself if you're okay with being part of the same group of people that wants those like me dead for the crime of existing in a way that doesn't adhere to one specific medical model whose authors acknowledge isn't the only way to be more-than-one, anyway.

Have the day you deserve! <3

[robbievenom]

I love cis woman lesbians.

I love trans woman lesbians.

I love transfem lesbians.

I love cisfem lesbians.

I love cis man lesbians.

I love trans man lesbians.

I love transmasc lesbians.

I love cismasc lesbians.

I love GNC lesbians.

I love nonbinary lesbians.

I love transneutral lesbians.

I love multigender lesbians.

I love m-spec lesbians.

I love butch lesbians.

I love femme lesbians.

I love futch lesbians.

I love lesbians who are attracted to men.

I love lesbians who aren't attracted to women.

I love lesbians who have dated men or are dating men.

I love lesbians.

I hate exclusionists.

[januscorner]

The weird thing about m-spec lesbian hate is that like, they’re still gay. Like people accuse others of not being queer all the time but this isn’t even that. You’re saying someone should kill themselves because you don’t like the word they’re using. What the hell

[rqmax]

Accidentally deleted my intro 😭

My DNI list:

Antis DNI:

• Anti-Fiction

• Anti-Shipping

• Anti-Radical Inclusivity

• Anti-Radical Queers

• Anti-Pro-Contacts

• Anti-Neutral Recovery

• Anti-Self Diagnosis

• Anti-Antifa:

• Anti-Endogenic/Anti-Nontraumagenic

• Anti-Bodily Autonomy

• Anti-Abortion

Exclusionists DNI:

• TERFS

• SWERFS

• Transgender Medicalists

• Queer Transphobes (LGB without T ppl)

• System Medicalists

• Medicalists in general

Right Wingers DNI:

• Ableists

• Ageists

• Adultists

• Colorists (Political Definition)

• Fascists

• Homophobes

• Islamists (NOT Muslims)

• Nazis/Nationalsocialists

• Nationalists

• M-Specphobes/Mono-Specphobes

• Paramisia

• Queerphobes

• Racists

• Christianists (NOT Christian who are Accepting)

• Speciesists

• Transphobes

• White Supremacists

• Whitemisia

• Xenophobes

• Zionists (NOT Jews)

Other DNI:

• Xenosatanism

• Hypoharmful

• Winterqueer (who use it in racists way)

• Pro-GRape

• Pro-Non-Con

You passed the list !?! Under “keep reading” can you read about me !

Hi call me Max !!

My tags are:

#🜸𖤍°.•:…𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁 𝒾𝓈 𝒷ℴ𝓇𝓃🜚✰彡 (Coining Posts)

#꥟⚠︎︎☢︎︎°.•:…𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁𝓈 𝓅ℴ𝓌ℯ𝓇⚠︎︎☠︎︎ (Activism Posts)

#ミ★°.•:...𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁 𝒾𝓈 𝒸ℴ𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔♐︎☽ (PositivePosts)

#★☆°.•:…𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁 𝒷ℯ𝒶𝓊𝓉𝓎✩✬ (Asks Posts)

#ミ✵°.•:…𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁 𝒾𝓈 𝒹ℯ𝓈𝓉𝓇ℴ𝓎ℯ𝒹⁂🜚

(Negative Posts)

#𖣔✵°.•:…𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓅ℴ𝓈𝓉𝓁ℯ🜚✧

(Other Posts)

I go by They/Them and some Neopronouns !

I am a Non-Binary Feminine Boy, and a Bi-Lesbian, Aromantic.

My Transidentities are:

Transabled:

• Trans-Ambulatory-Wheelchair-User

• Perma-Schizophrenic

• Perma-Nasal-Cannula

• Left Ear: Trans-Hearing-Aid/Right Ear: Perma-Cochlear-Implant

• Trans-Ambulatory-Cane-User

• Trans-Ambulatory-Walker-User

• Trans-Amputee right lower Leg

• Trans-Ambulatory-Crutch-User

• Trans-Ehlers-Danlos

• Trans-Paranoid-Personality

• Trans-Achromatopsia right upper Eye/Trans-Tritanopia right lower Eye

Transage:

•Chronofuck

• Chrono-Age-Non-Conform

• Panradoxage

• Evyage

• Perma-Bodily-20s

Transbody:

• Trans-3-Eyes

• Trans-Heterocromia left Eye: Red, Right Upper: White, Right lower: Purple

• Trans-Intersex: Trans-Hypogonadism, Trans-Hermaphroditism

• Trans-Fangs

• Trans-Albinism-Melanism-Vitiligo

• Trans-1,80m (Trans-5’9-feet)

Transcharacter:

• Trans-Anime

• Trans-Game-Character

Transharmed:

• Transkidnapped

• Trans-Yandere-Victim

• Trans-Stalked

Transharmful:

• Trans-gRapist

• Perma-Abuser

• Perma-Serial-Killer

• Trans-Cult

• Trans-Kidnapper

• Trans-Cannibal

• Trans-Stalker

Transorientation:

• Trans-Pedophile

• Trans-Allosexual

Transplural:

• Trans-DiD

• Trans-Polyconciseness

Transrace:

• Racevoid

• Aracial

TransSpecies:

• Trans-Deity

Transtime:

• Timefluid

• Time-Non-Conforming

Transculture:

• Trans-Japanese-Culture

• Trans-Russian-Culture

• Trans-Chinese-Culture

Trans Misc:

• Trans-Immortal

• Trans-Typing-Quirk: ✞Я4𝓃$~✞γρI𝓃9~𝒬𝓋IЯ𝓀

Im a MAP, (Auto)Necro, (Auto)Biasto, (Auto)Erotophono, Sadomaso, (Auto)Haemato, Vorare and (Auto)Symphoro !

Im a Radical Punker !! Pro-Contact, Pro-Consent, Pro-Consensual Non-Consent and Pro-Consecual-(Pseudo)Abuse !!!

Im a Feminist, Post-Radical Queer, Xenoanarchist, Communist, Youth Liberation ! Primitive-Transhumanist :3 Antiwork and Amoral Nihilist.

[tadbitsickchickwithadick]

Hiya! The names' marceline!! and Maeve~ and Mabel<3 and margot "√)" and Melanie~ and melody♪

but collectively we're the m&Ms, or Maia; your local polyamorous, kinky, plural, eldritch puppycat

We're a 20s, Deaf/HoH, AuDHD, disabled, queer, tgirl witch, collector of fire goddesses, and poet with only a little bit of social energy, but a lot of love to give.

m, I'm the rambly one | M, I'm the eldritch one | B, and I'm the little one "/)" | R, I'm the little eldritch one | L, I'm the wolf one | d, i'm the baby<3

Pronouns: she/it for all of us because 🌈🖕

We will be posting our poems, gayshit, hornystuff, things we find funny, things that are important to us. If you haven't found out by now we're gonna be 18+ here.

Also, we will not be changing our minds about this: all polyamorous/kinky/transgender/acespec/bi/pan/queer peoples have always been oppressed as a group. Fight together, or die trying. Remember acab and the first pride was a riot for a reason.

ALL EXCLUSIONISTS ARE FEDS!

Not that y'all'd've read this but DNI if you are a terf/minor/n*zi(even adjacent)/cop/think trans girls including us are sissies/RACIST/more if y'all need to be fucking reminded

Spread love and protection as far and wide as possible<3

Beyond here there be tags:

•Really kinky/horny things go in #hedonistic

It's a laundry list of triggers, just know we're both very kinky and everything is in the context of active consent

•Things we relate to go in #me too bitch

•All the things we excitedly show our butch or make us think about her go in #for my butch

•Queer (and other) actitivism is in #happy queers make me happy

•Posts that could slay us go in #fucking cackling

•Posts of marceline rambling or shitposting go in you'll never guess #marceline the rambling queen

•Posts of Maeve generally fucking around and being horny go in #maeve like the drug

•Posts of Mabel being cute and bubbly go in #maybe it's mabel time

•Posts of margot being herself including but not limited to hedonism and self care go in #my my margot

•Posts of Melanie having fun and laughing go in #seeing in the melanie

•Posts of melody♪ expressing interest go in #a trill or melody

•Posts about/from our sisters are in #hiya sis<3

•Asks go in #ask!m&Ms

[cosmicscribblez]

I was gonna join a discord server and i noticed in their ad they said “We are a safe space for all lgbtq+ people and their identities!” and the next line said “No good faith labels”(which correct me if i’m wrong but im pretty sure that just means contradictory labels?) Like. What? Huh? 😭🧍i’m so sick of exclusionists. Just let me be queer in peace 😞

I understand(don’t agree with, but understand) a server not allowing paraphiles and radqueers—antis unfortunately tend to hear the stories of abusers in our communities the most. But what did lesboys and gaybians and m-spec gays/lesbians and turigirls do? We’ve been around since forever 😭😭, we’re not a new thing trying to “invade queer spaces”.

Just because we don’t fit perfectly into your perfect box of what google says xyz queer identity is supposed to be doesn’t mean we aren’t valid. A) google isn’t correct about everything, and b) queer people are not meant to fit into little boxes!!! That is the ENTIRE point of us!!!!

I just don’t get it. Preaching love and acceptance for all EXCEPT good faith labels is ridiculous. Why don’t people do research before deciding something is bad????

Anyway if you identify with a contradictory label, i love you. I love lesboys and mspec gays and turigirls and gaybians and bi lesbians and mspec lesbians and everybody else. Ily guys, take pride in your identities and never let anybody shame you for them 🫶

Okay thanks for coming to my rant goodbye !

[transmascpetewentz]

As a younger trans man online (although older trans men are not entirely exempt from this), you have to be extremely careful about the personal struggles that you do and don't share, and how you share things, because many types of transandrophobes will take everything you say in bad faith and attempt to use your own feelings of self-doubt against you.

TERFs and TEHMs will go on your personal posts and constantly shift the goalposts. They expect you to live up to an impossible standard of your own ideals, and trying too hard to prove that you're Really a Man is going to cause you to fall into toxic thought patterns regarding the trans community. And if you manage to avoid the radfems and the TEHMs, the transmed community is going to look very appealing. I'm experiencing all this pain and suffering, you think to yourself, and I must be alone in this. Others who say they are experiencing this pain are lying.

There will be a metaphorical voice in your head that says that you need to prove yourself to be A Real Man by adopting toxic masculinity. This is the voice of the devil. Do not listen to it. Find commonalities between your experience and the experiences of trans people who are not like you in some way or another.

And maybe the exclusionists get to you. They'll tell you about how you're an evil m*n gender traitor, and how you must make up for this by either identifying as a non-man or being transandrophobic to the cuntboys who don't accept their place. And if you're bisexual, you'll likely develop internalized biphobia that tells you that men need women in their lives to be good people, and that you must date women only—if you date an evil awful m*n, you'll be an incel faggot who hates women so much you won't even date one.

Point being, people will use your personal gender feelings against you, and it is your responsibility to not let that happen.

Openly challenge radfem, transmed, and exclus beliefs. (And before you piss on the poor, I am not trying to imply that those beliefs are equal in harmfulness. They are grouped together not because they are of equal weight, but because they are all groups that prey on young, vulnerable trans men.) Listen to the experiences of people who have been harmed by beliefs that you are vulnerable to being sucked into. And remember:

You are not immune to propaganda.

[queerromancerecs]

Queer Romance Recs!

is officially open! (Although still new and I am sure there will be issues we discover as we go along.)

This is a blog for readers of queer romance and queer romantic fiction to submit recommendations so that others can discover the treasure trove of queer joy out there.

How does it work? Well, you can follow the blog to receive recs, and hopefully occasionally reblog anything that might strike your fancy, and likewise read anything that looks interesting to you. You can also submit recommendations. All you have to do is follow the format guidelines.

Some quick answers to some possible questions you might have:

Queer means LGBTQIA+. Exclusionists can make their own sad little space.

Romance in this case can mean the genre of Romance (which has certain expectations, like a Happily Ever After or a Happy For Now ending) and other types of fiction with a strong romantic element involving one or many of the main characters. Yes, erotic romance counts.

This means f/f or m/m romance novels, and it can mean a bestselling fantasy or sci fi series with a queer mains and some sort of love story in there. It means gay and lesbian and trans and ace love stories. It means nb stuff. It means aro stuff. It means genderqueer or genderfuck or agender. It means yes polyam too.

And in fact, right now, with the current affairs being what they are, if you have some trans love stories you adore, I'd love to have them recced here.

It also does not just mean written works. Graphic novels and webcomics are welcome! Maybe we can include tv shows or movies in the future but the link part might be tricky? It's possible, anyway.

This blog was originally an idea to help support indie and self-published creators (since a lot of queer creators tend to take that route) but you are welcome to rec traditionally published works too. And original and free stories as long as they are not fanfiction. The more the merrier! This blog is about spreading joy and community support (and a bit about defiance tbh)!

Queer Romance Recs

...but yes this is brand spanking new and there will be a few bugs at the start. Please be patient. :)

[olderthannetfic]

Tbh it feels kinda like people are missing the point about the "straight passing" thing.

The problem isn't pointing out that straight passing privilege exists, and that some people are definitely benefitting from it. I don't think any reasonable person who has been in a relationship that can pass as straight in a cis-hetero-normative society is going to deny that it exists.

The problem is that "straight passing" is used as an argument to attack people who they believe benefits from it "by default" for their sexuality.

It's often used by exclusionists to specifically target people who they believe could benefit from passing as straight. In the queer community it's not exactly a secret that there have been several tries at removing bi and pan people, and trying to remove ace, and enbies who's style matches more with their visual gender, eg an afab nb wearing feminine clothing, or a amab wearing masc clothing. The argument becomes "because you can benefit from straight passing privilege, that means you aren't gay enough to be part of the community."

In these arguments aimed to against these groups it becomes a stupid fight about "you need to be at least this gay to join the party."

No one is in good faith going to argue that a couple that can at first glance be seen as traditionally M/F isn't going to be safer, while benefitting from the hetero-normative society. And it's obvious that this couple is less likely to be victims of hate crimes just for doing couply things like PDA, than a couple that is more visually apparent to be queer.

But that's not the problem is it? We all know that straight passing privilege exists, the question is "Does having straight passing privilege mean that someone is less queer?/Less deserving of being part of the queer community for not being "gay" enough?"

This isn't some new issue, especially aimed at bi and pan people, I mean there are still people who say things like "Bi people don't belong in the LGBT" when the B is right there! "What do you think the B stands for? Bicycle?"

You can tell all the world how much straight passing privilege exists, because we know it does.

But how about actually focusing on the issue of how it's weaponized against the people who "benefit" from it to tell them they're not queer enough. Because that's a talk that constantly gets buried under the argument by people that straight passing privilege exists, when we already know it does.

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