#except i feel they could both do better
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hey maze runner fandom i read a few books even tho im not part of the fandom since pintrest ruined it for me, what do you think of teresa? bc i feel she gets a lot of hate when she was also young and didnt know, especially on pintrest, but whats yalls opinion?
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
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The elusive Líf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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The pokemon anime subreddit fascinates and frustrates me on equally deep levels
#smiling and blinking innocently. long tags ahead :) being normal :)🌸☀️☘️✌️💐#i'm such a 'minding my own business' person in fandom. i feel like my usual reaction to seeing takes I disagree with is#'well. people probably hate some of my takes so whatever'. perhaps even the ones i'm about to share#but. man.#it's like a portal to 2010 forum discourse but goh and serena are there this time.#deeply fascinated by the repetition of old ship wars too????#what do you mean we're still having legitimate 'but drew and gary are mean' discourse 😭#i mean by all means they should keep arguing because mostly i'm just glad that the wider pokeani sphere remembers drew at all#but that being said i wonder what kind of rivalry these people would have wanted instead?????#because there's other rivalries we could point to where they weren't air-quotes 'mean'. but we have those and people ignore them lol#because they're-imo- usually less engaging and dynamic. except for dawn and zoey who have never done anything wrong in their lives.#like we COULD give everyone the supportive happy rival experience a la may and grace or whatever but that's just not the SAME#and augh. taking psychic damage and trying to be normal but that's the THINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OKAY#are Gary and Drew needlessly mean in early episodes? yeah lmao. i'm not arguing on that. they suck ❤️ completely insufferable.#b u t#there's that line. right. the line where it slowly slides into backhanded compliments too and giving that motivation-#-for their rival to work harder and the fact that they want that reaction and attention from this one person so badly.#like shipping aside I really do think that the friction of the Gary/Ash and May/Drew rivalries is what made them GOOD.#and yeah sometimes it was out of line but also that's just how the dub is as a whole tbh. they just said whatever shit they could 😭#AND BACK TO THE BEING NICE THING. Ash and May both got growth from their nice rivalries but not what they got from Gary/Drew.#it's different types of growth and lessons and they needed both kinds from different sources. I'd argue the rougher rivalries taught more?#regardless of your opinions on the characters themselves you can't deny that Gary/Paul/Drew/Harley/etc- the rivals that pushed A&M-#had the biggest impact on their growth over the rivals that didn't push. note that 'friends' and 'rivals' are different categories for this#I'm pitting. like. gary and paul against morrison and ritchie and not against dawn or pikachu or brock or whatever. different convo.#but it was growth out of spite to be better than the jackass rival at first and then that CHANGED INTO MUTUAL BETTERMENT#AND WANTING TO BE BETTER ✨FOR✨ AND ✨WITH✨ THEIR RIVAL. OKAY. (re: gary and drew specifically)#and as a result of all of this. drew and gary did get better to be fair!#well gary did kind of just start picking on goh instead gjkhsdkfj (joking) but ykwim.#DAMN IT I'M OUT OF ROOM AND IT DELETED A WHOLE ASS PART 2 THAT I HAD TYPED OUT#fine. i'll make this its own post at some point because i yearn to yap on about it
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tbh i dont think my dysphoria's ever been as intense as it has being on hrt mostly bc now it feels like "i dont look like a guy" has the scary component of "the hrt isnt doing anything" now. like before it was like well duh im not on t. but now i am and nothing's ever happened. i've been misgendered more on hrt than when i wasn't on it. it's really frustrating because i think my brain looks for the logical why and it goes well. i'm too curvy to look like a guy no matter what i do. which is a great way to feel. is this like complete defeatism almost of i'm always going to look like this & i probably can't get top surgery because i'm too big for it to do anything. like man i'm never gonna look like a guy huh. well that sucks lmao
#fatphobia#i know this is an internalized problem. hence why i stopped talking about it to people#i don't even really want any input i just feel like i'm gonna explode if i don't put this down for a little while#this is such a deeply held Upsetness for me that it's just better for me & everyone that i don't talk about it#bc it'll just frustrate both of us yk#i wish i could lose weight but i can't even do that right or stick with anything and nothing ever changes#it is. maddening. to be so stuck in a body. nothing i do changes anything#hormones don't do anythign exercise doesn't do anything#all i've done is become an ugly girl so i can't even just give up on it all and look how i'm apparently destined to be#slamming my head into a table until my skull cracks brb#txt#vent#negative#body img //#whatever i'll delete this later i just don't understand how i've been on testosterone for a year and a half and#nothing. fucking Nothing has changed at All.#like what is the point. of it all#what's the point of binding what's the point of a little bit of facial hair#what's the point of an imperceptibly deeper voice#fuck!!!!!#i don't have a uterus anymore there's no reason i'm still the exact fucking same#except that i'm just i guess immune to ever looking different i could kms over this i fucking swear
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Disgusting creature (begins sobbing)
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#isaac castlevania#castlevania isaac#isaac laforeze#castlevania curse of darkness#curse of darkness#art post#my art#castlevania artists#Castlevania fanart#fanart#uhhh idk tags#some of these are based on panels from the manga and other official art but yeah#he’s truly a character that’s for sure#one one hand yeah he did all that he did kill people and committ war crimes#but on the other hand oaughaughogh but but what if what if he could’ve gotten better—#the game and mangas do a very good job of showing you how he’s like the opposite of Hector but so so similar#like Hector was two steps away from being that too they both came from such similar situations#augh I could make a whole analysis rant of the whole game and have before but not in the tags lmao#bro had to be put down and was a horrible person in the end but it was still sad#he’s like the classic cursed Castlevania rival character except completely unsavable this time#like imagine if you couldn’t save Maxim or Richter or Hugh or whoever else like that’s how it feels#anyway yeah he’s also fun to draw :3#his haircut is unreasonably cute#I wish I didn’t have curly hair that conflicts with that kind of hairstyle oof 😔#unrelated but I’ve been sick again lately ugh#at least this time I’m getting treated for it tho but idk if it’s working or not yet tbh ughhhhhhhhh
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i need more non three houses side characters winning cyl tbh bc the lord outfits are so predictable and boring and for three houses all they do is the normal timeskip shit. like, felix and bernadetta’s art looks great, but the designs… come on. weve all seen mortal savant felix. thats literally just bernadetta’s timeskip outfit with added shoulder stuff. bring back queen camilla of nohr. they did something fun with marianne that one time until everyone was like “boo wah i hate creativity and serving cunt” but they need to not listen to the haters. when tharja wins in three years (if we dont hit eos) i want her cosplaying as grima or something like the lizard version
#ann cries about feh#also like. idk#PERSONALLY its very rare that the main lords are my favorite character in any game#sole exception being ss bc eirika and ephraim RAISED ME#but still#anyways most of this was fueled by me thinking about a hypothetical brave inigo#it will never happen bc any chance of him winning was curbstomped by him being a bad unit#except that one year but then someone overshot his unit viability and he became a meme for a bit so#whatever anyways#if he DID win hypothetically the worst thing they could ever do is give him his hero armor and nothing else#not only is the awakening hero armor kind of ugly itd j make me sad#i want him to wear traditional ferox garb#‘what does that even look like’ i have no clue. but they can make it up!!!#or. get this. they mix aesthetics from awakening and nohr and give him a sick combo outfit#and hes like ‘haha yes i go by two names and i love them both. haha do girls like me yet’#like do u see my vision#and then he gets a prf dance bc if marianne can get a dance special he can get a prf dance.#this is all just me daydreaming about my favorite guy in pretty outfits really#he could also wear basilio’s clothes#but i think a basilio outfit variant would go WAYYY harder on brave olivia#who we will also never get. but i think she has a better shot? brave olivia for next year u guys?? huh???#i should check their cyl placements actually but i feel like feh has actually made her more popular?#or intsys just thinks she is. but she keeps getting alts and she was in warriors sooo
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The biggest thing keeping me rooting for Skailor in canon is the way she makes Kai crumple like a leaf
he literally burns himself with his own fire when talking to her oh my god
#how do you spell the ship name#he's such a confident flirt with any other girl but around her he just disintegrates#they are very cute and I love them both but there are like no big interactions between them#*since season 4#and Skylor has like no character development or quirky things#shush I've seen crystalized don't @ me I want more#really hope she forces her way into the main characters the way Pixal did#a blind puppy in hell would do a better job at drawing Kai's hair#I have no idea what I'm doing when it goes to that lol#I'm also bad at drawing fire could you tell#Kai's emotions making his fire hotter should totally be explored more#except how would you do that#oh man this fire feels hotter than the other fires#they should totally change the fire's color like I've seen in all that fanart#really proud of the smear frame I drew#ninjago#kai smith#skylor chen#kai x skylor#canon ship#proud of this one#digital sketch#my stuff#I kinda wanna rewatch Season 4 again#FOR THE SIXTH TIME#lol
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This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Sona double feature!#Red Eyes and Evil Time /are/ different for the record lol#There's overlap and they're both eye details but they're different#Mmm Red Eyes feels so niiiice <3 And I've been pacing myself so it's Just Red Eyes!#No red shines :) Which can happen even on Red Eyes#In fact it's probably more common - the red shines on Blue Eyes was something of an oddity#No one knows the lore except me I'll explain someday lol#For now it's just fun to be in Red Eyes! :D And the occasional Evil Time as well lol - all the overlaps!#I somehow accidentally made a like?? Cotton Candied Popcorn themed outfit for Eli for the first one lol that wasn't my intention#I mean it's cute I'm not about to fight it lol I'd love for my sonas to have other clothes inspired by each other haha#Eli's eyes are still quite fun to draw as well haha those bright pops of colour - Red Purple or Blue they're all so stark and shaped#Back to their classic feminine outfit good for them uwu#Silly lad#They're also still a scientist first and foremost - it's all chemicals there's gotta be a way to recreate it externally!#Local vampire scientist creates mood stabilizers more at 7 lol#I'm quite pleased with the three-red two-purple one-blue gradient as well hehe - the decay! :D I like it as a visual#Charm tiiime <3 <3 Happy Charm time in Evil Time! Usually better than bad mood Evil Time lol - at least for those around her#Still chaotic to be in it haha - but happy chaos is happy! Lol#Again more fun with eyes the light bounce in the one where she's holding the melt is so cute and looks so nice on my paper too <3#I had a silly comic idea for her for the next time I get into Red Eyes as well - if I remember lol#Big Love is hearts! It just makes sense#Also I am Really proud of the cleaning job I did on that last one lol - from original to this? Night and day ngl#Guess that goes to show how little cleaning I do on-page lol#For some I do! Others...#Still thinking up outfits - you can probably just make out ''Hero Charm'' in her hair lol trying to think around different themes#Something that could become something else! Add or subtract an element and it changes the ''meaning'' of the outfit#Kinda like her initial caped design that Kaiein rejected hmmm
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#cont thoughts of my last rb but. i think ppl are so quick to say that teruko is a badly written character bc of her role in the story??#idk how to explain it but. yeah bsd isnt the best at writing female characters and theres hints of misogyny here and there#but ppl always say teruko's entire character is a product of misogyny and that is just. not true.#prob bc people focus too much on the fact that shes a rare female character idk#yeah shes extremely dedicated to the hunting dogs and fukuchi. her LEADER. i dont think thats misogyny#people dont say that about chuuya being extremely loyal to the mafia 😭😭#'her having to give the credit to fukuzawa for killing fukuchi is so misogynistic!!!' except youre ignoring what that scene is really about#it's about two kinds of people. how fukuzawa couldnt kill out of love vs how teruko killed because of it#it's about the fact that SHE can do it. shes strong enough to. SHE understands whats necessary. SHE pushed her feelings aside.#which i thought was amazing. it really solidified her role as a SOLDIER which was how she was introduced. shes VICE CAPTAIN of the hd i fee#like people always forget that.#it's also rare to see a female character act on smth that isnt emotional cause it's always male characters pushing aside their grief for th#better. i loved that we were shown how fukuzawa who is stone cold and an ex assassin CLDNT do it while teruko who is explosive and emotiona#could!! it was an interesting side to both their characters#thats not to say teruko isnt a victim of misogyny. cause people do hate her for traits they love in other characters (shes very similar to#ranpo and chuuya and jouno off the top of my head)#but to say that her entire self is a result of misogyny is doing a disservice to her character#and shows that you cant look past her relationships with male characters idk#saying she doesnt have anything outside male characters is so untrue i cant stand that argument. bc SHE DOES. youre the one not seeing it#her role during the skyfall arc was amazing how do we forget that#anyway sorry. to each their own ofc im not defending bsd's occasional bad writing#but teruko get behind me djhfjhd
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I did not care for nge.
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#im so sorry my fellow robot enjoyers#this just Was Not it for me#i have so many thoughts about this show and idk how to really convey them properly#there were obviously some very cool concepts but with a lot of the deeper themes of the show#i just felt like there were Other animes that handled tjose ideas better (rgu and lain for example)#look i know the ending is Infamously weird but like forget abstract#it felt Unsatisfying given how much we’ve come to see these characters grow and understand their feelings#we’re just left not really knowing the fates of Every character except for shinji and asuka?????#and good god almighty do Not get me started om the fanservice i dont wanna hear ‘but thats how 90s anime was!!!’#rgu was a 1997 anime directly about the sexualization and exploitation of young girls and they NEVER went to fanservice like That#honestly between this and flcl i just. dont think hideaki anno’s works are for me#i really wanted to like both of those animes and i just. could not get behind em#sad 😔
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Me: no really if you missed even one birth control pill you better double check you aren't pregnant.
#can you feel that thick rod begging for entrance#back and forth back and forth across your lips finding the perfect angle of entry#his adidas interfere but his cock is pre'ing let me in#🤔 honey we were never “just friends” it was always way more than that#her & her i like to turn you on baby#when heaven is out on the street with the heat of the the night#It's fine we fuck and I feel better#don't you feel like an owned object when anyone says the magical ownership of All Hallow's Eve though#like you just want to be owned and have attention paid to you#and I can give that to you....we can give that to you#emotional attachment to a chick version of myself? oh I could see that#like she will think my drug use was nothing in comparison I reckon#me: *nods* so she likes ice though huh....yeah I can see that being a thing#you have a few nieces I guess.... 🤔 well a few full ones anyway#a few who have way too much of the other half of us#she's like i smoke because I like it when i smoke#and I'm like oh ok yaaaaaas hypnotize me#when I click those videos I know what I am signing up for#just stare at you for a few minutes no words#yes please do say words to me though let's see how 27 years of hearing have done you.#well we both have the same life path number it's ridiculous to discuss between us#and she's like.....can i play with your 2 2#your destiny is facing and conquering that sexy fear of 7#mine is 7 children I guess*gulp.... fuck*#and two twins for her#his and mine#mine is a freak tho......#here I was in 2014 finally spilling my guts over what you had accused me of to her years ago#except it was like all lowkey and shit as far as the external world knew#...we knew tho.....we knew
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Recent misc pictures
#image 1 - sky of course.. beautiful clouds time. Image 2 - steak and scrambled eggs with a mushroom spinach sautee sort of thing#and an apple fritter (all cooked at home of course except for the apple fritter... still wishing I could ever get food out or have it made#for me so I don't have to do the effort of making it all myself.. it just tastes better sometimes when you're in a relaxed state eating#it rather than a 'just stood in the kitchen for 1hr' state lol). Image 3 - nice gray clouds with the sun through them.#Image 4 - 4 tiny gyoza type things with a tiny Diet Restriction Friendly size portion of iced coffee and a starshaped ice cube#Images 5 - 7 - these interesting flowers I came across whilst walking on a trail. I think the way they grow is cool. And that the buds of#them are so fluffy and such. Image 8 - 9 -- more stinky word counts... aughhh...... Trying to plan a full timeline of when#I might actually finish the game and I'm estimating currently like July 2025 as an insanely optimistic ideal and October 2025 as my very#late one. So likely somewhere in between. Or even later if something happens as things tend to do (computer explodes. etc)#Both are HOT months for oregon so I guess that's what started me off thinking and dwelling on the passage of time and the weather.. grrr#I wish I could be done with it tomorrow or something and then just relax and play sims all winter knowing my work is done lol#But I feel like the impending summer (as well as many other impending societally threatening things) give me too much urgency to be like#WAUGh i need to get this done NOWWW.. But I still wish I could relax and enjoy the winter a litttle. eugh... ANYWAY. I did finish the#discord for the game but I still don't know if I'll use that. I need to work more on the game itself and the itch.io page. But then also#I should probably talk about it or try to cultivate a small base of people (like a discord) who actually care about it and could become#future playtesters so I have that all ready well before the game actually is done so I needn't scramble at the last minute.. If I were#smart. and had social skills. and had energy (< has none of these things). So inevitably who knows if shall be able to muster any such feat#At least I'm getting like.. some words done.. some days. I am making progress. It's just never good enough considering the circumstances#(< looming instability and time passing in what feels like a very fast manner). ANYWAY.. lol... Image 10 - recent game of Price#Is Right Plinko Pegs my beloved game which I return to to play like maybe 2 rounds of once every 5 months... one day I shall win... Though#I'm incresingly uncertain if there even IS a last level. Or if its designed to go on forever/make you fail at a point to keep you playing..#Last two images - CLOUDS again. A very cloud heavy photo diary this time it seems lol#Also trying to: - post a few more costumes from drafts. - make new friend survey thing. - edit videos - make a sculpture. - set up#things to actually sell sculptures. - doctors appointments. - pack up things to possibly move before the summer to an apartment which#will still not have central AC but maybe at least is not west facing (so gets direct sun hottest part of the day and is a greenhouse)#Life is a constant revolving to do list with occasional sleep & looking at clouds in between.. (sigh)(pauses)(slightly more whimsical sigh)#photo diary
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#oh hey i just caught myself harboring Unnecessary Nightmare Scenarios#that last post made me think about how the only thing stopping me from getting another dog is money#like i could afford having a friend for savu. it would be no problem#BUT in a situation where i lost my partner and had to provide for the dogs by myself and they'd both get sick i'd be in deep trouble#which has sounded like a completely rational thing to be aware of. a completely valid reason for not getting another dog#except that is quite a few things that need to go wrong before the deep trouble would actually hit#and is that really the way i want to live my life? waiting for this relationship to end? accepting that eventually i will be left alone?#that my current life is nothing but a brief respite from a continuous struggle with both finances and illness? a glitch that will soon pass#it actually doesn't sound valid at all when i write it out like this#i have a partner who brings another stable paycheck into this household. i have no reason to believe this would change anytime soon#i have a wonderful dog that would probably benefit from having a friend#shelties are not super prone to any major lifelong diseases or such so it's unlikely the new dog would need constant expensive treatments#i think this thought pattern got a hold of me when savu got sick last spring#it was scary and unpleasant and i still feel raw around the edges after experiencing all of it#(the dog is fine by the way! definitely better these days and i'm super happy we got the surgery. we have many good years ahead of us still#but like. i'd like if my brain accepted 'this summer was scary and i'm not sure if i'm ready to possibly experience it with another dog'#instead of feeding me lies about a future where i'm all alone and desperately poor#but hey i've never caught this one before! now i know this thought pattern exists and can do something about it#sussitalk
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#Watched ep7.#Not many strong feelings. A nice‚ nicely animated episode.#I've already said this‚ and despite despising the ending...#I gotta admit that every time the episode ends and you're hit straight to the face with the ss/kks I'm like 🥰🥰🥰#Tetcho is quite cute… All the time‚ I'm thinking “I care for all the hd except for Tetchou”.#But then he hits the screen and he's so cute together with Kenji and I'm like… Actually I do care……#Ugh I love the Teruko / Atsushi parts. They're very emotional and they're both characters I love a lot.#I just wish it had taken a different route… I really wish they would have let them fight– *actually* fight ಥ_ಥ#I wish we would have gotten the chance to explore Teruko more… And Atsushi too.#I so wish there was a moment of more flashbacks orphanage horror due to the age regression / torture Teruko would make him go through.#What can I say I love to see a man suffer 😔#I just think the conflict resolution was very underwhelming and didn't match the build up.#Teruko just letting Atsushi go like that…#For Atsushi to say “I can't decide for myself‚ so I'll have the president decide in my place”– that's not very satisfying either#But. Eh. Idk perhaps not everything can fit. They had to make space for the ss/kk scene perhaps.#I just wish the few women had a little more action here. The last episodes I have been missing Kyouka and Lucy so much.#I enjoy the ss/kk scene (and bloodsucking!)‚ but I genuinely would have liked it even better if Kyouka or Lucy had come in to save Atsushi#(The Lucy option sounding particularly appealing to me... Partly because we've already seen Kyouka fight Aktgw.#Partly because I feel like Anne's Room could maybe perhaps pose an actual challenge for Rashomon who knows?#I just want to see Lucy and Aktgw interact I think their dynamics would be so much fun… )#Then again the truth is that if I wished to see more women in action I should just watch something else 😭😭😭#random rambles
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