#everything just sort of came out?
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Vicious August 1998
#I know!#a rare post of old visual kei stuff from me!#the context for this is that on one of my trips after COVID-19#I tried to find a substitute store for Trio2 which had shut down in Nakano Broadway#I had read that there were some magazine shops at least in Ochanomizu#I didn't have data and tried to navigate with my geolocation skills but ended up asking a sort of old officer just to be sure#he said something along the lines of 'but I'm just an old man...'#so a younger man came to his and my rescue and offered to help me#he understood little English and used Google Translate to communicate with me for the most#turned out he was a magazine enthusiast himself and he took me to a couple of stores#they all had only antique magazines like nothing past 2005#he found everything that had Dir en grey at each of those stores#I felt bad after a while because it was not at all what I was looking for#so I ended up buying the Xth magazine that he showed me#see above hah#just so you know I was really close to the store just with my skills#Dir en grey#young#scans#magazine#visual kei#vkei#Kyo#Kaoru#Die#Shinya#Toshiya#makeup#I'm not sure why I'm such a fan of that middle finger nail paint
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hi.
#i know most of you didnāt even realize i was gone#but manā¦#my mental health was like in a state of ššš in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnāt shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes š„²)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iām still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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IM SURE YOUVE ALREADY EXPLAINED IT SOMEWHERE but.. may i ask about the story in bitter choco decoration. I like those guys :)
youād be surprised but i apparently have never talked about these particular ocsā story in detail on this particular tumblr blog. so i shall do just thatā¦. i tried to summarize but it got kind of long oops, as it always does when i talk about my mentally ill ass ocs
so! as u might already know the guys in the video are rikki and william, and the animatic happens from rikkiās pov. rikki is basically the golden child of the familyāsmart, well-behaved, always keeping her parents satisfied, etc etc. generally she is put under a lot of pressure a lot of the time. and then her family decides to get an insurance child so to speakājust in case rikki fails in lifeābut they donāt want to go through the trouble of raising another one, so they decide to adopt.
thatās where william comes in, baby! now he is decidedly Not the golden child. he is the problem child. parents thought they could reform himāwell, not much to show for that. but him and rikki surprisingly get along, even though theyāre opposites. william actually gets someone who cares about him for once and wants him to be okay, and rikki gets someone who wants her to be more bold, stand up to others and consider what she herself wants instead of people-pleasing. he even gets her to make snide jokes and cut her hair. theyāre best friends, itās nice. for a while.
but, none of it is perfect. you know how rikki always seems to be smiling even though sheās clearly not having a good time? and you know all those red eyes that appear pretty much everytime williamās on screen? rikki has so many layers of masks that william never really feels like he actually knows her. and william, even though he mostly wants rikki to do her own thing, can still kind of be selfish and controlling (because heās a teenager, and traumatized, and scared of losing his best friend, but it doesnāt change the fact that rikki feels the same pressure from him as she feels from their parents).
so this all culminates when theyāre in high school and rikki buries herself in workāshe wants to secure a good education and a good job so that she can actually get them both out of this shitty abusive household. for the first time in her whole life, she has a Goal that she personally has chosen. she now has someone to work hard for. but she also ends up spending a lot less time with that someone because of her studying, and it eats at william and eats and eats untilāit turns out rikkiās hard work has actually paid off. sheās gotten a scholarship, and she can leave for a good university and sheās finally achieved something that she herself has wanted to do and not anyone else. for both of them. for her brother.
except her brother doesnāt react with support, like usual. heās not cheering her on now that sheās fulfilled her dream and beyond. he just looks betrayed. because theyāre best friends. they promised to be there for each other, to get out of this hellhole house together. how could she leave him behind? how is he supposed to make it without her, who is he going to have on his side? william loves her and wants her to be happy but he doesnāt want her to leave.
so in turnābecause rikki is a) an avoidant little bitch who would rather masterfully evade conflict than try to have an opinion and b) doesnāt want her brother to hate her forever and not speak to her ever againāin turn, rikki, as always, as second nature, lies. i mean, itās her dream, itās something sheās been working towards for years, but sheāll stay. sheāll leave it behind. it makes perfect logical sense to herābest of both worlds: she doesnāt spend the last summer at home with her brother resenting her, and she still gets to actually go to university. it is basically flawless.
all up until, you know, the day comes where she actually has to move out and go to university. and william inevitably finds out that she lied to him. and they fight. itās not good. itās not happy. they end up separating on really bad terms, and not talking for the next 7 years because william runs away from home pretty much soon after rikki leaves (itās not shown in the animatic but he does go MIA, rikki visits home once on holiday to find that her brother is just Gone, no one knows where he is, her parents couldnt give less of a shit, not great all around!!!) then rikki ends up graduating and looking for an easy first job, just to kind of set her foot in Job World.
unfortunately, it is also the exact same easy, convenient job that her brother ends up picking. hoo, boy. long time no see.
#suffice to say. their current relationship. is. Um. strained to put it lightly#it does not spark joy#they both think the other didnāt care about them and abandoned them#even better than that rikki sort-of-tried-not-to-think-about-it-but-still-sort-of-thought that her brother mightāve been dead for years#so. thatās also fun#they have a really fun relationship and it makes them amazing coworkers#and their other coworkers do not feel like they are children of divorce witnessing another silent fight#when they have to deal with rikki and william#cramswering#amd yes the eyes in the animatic are a symbol of pressure. white ones are just general pressure + from rikkiās family#and the red ones are pressure from william in specific. u can see as the animatic goes on that the red eyes appear more and more#and yes as you can see i hve done it again and created fucked up siblings in the petri dish of my mind. but they came first before the#mentally ill robot siblings. and yes they were very much inspired by the stan twins. the first iteration for willās and rikkiās backstory#was almost like a gravity falls rewrite. except they were just best friends. Then 2 years ago i was enlightened by holy visions and ever#since then theyāve become the worldās most insane codependent siblings to exist#but do not fret for one day they might talk it out maybe. and by that i mean fight it out and make everything even more awkward#you know how it is
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#I wanted to draw something fluffeyyyyy and this came out#if I had to put a name on this drawing it would be āsafe. homeā because thatās how he feels when heās in his arms#ANYWAYS. I like to give Vincent sort of corpse like details#Heās always covered from chin to toe but under those clothes he doesnāt only have the scars from everything Hojo and Lucretia did to him#while dead and then after he was revived. I mentioned he was enhanced and to make a SOLDIER scar isā¦well not a simple feat but Vincent is#his own kind of enhanced. Heās not like SOLDIER. He had three demons and a god-like WEAPON sealed in him so yeah.#Anyways i suppose that the first things you would notice would be the red under his eyes that looks a bit purple the more nights he spends#awake. It would give him sort of an aerie look that makes him even prettier but then thereās his hands and feet. the nails would look#blue-ish and one of his arms is terribly mangled and sort of monstrous/dead looking i supposed it was cut off and it regenerated like that#because of Chaos and company. then thereās the scars from where Hojo and Lu tore him open like a corpse and looked around his brain#cuts lacerations deep wounds they would heal normal that is why often he decides to act as a human shield for AVALANCHE if he doesnāt have#time to conjure a SHIELD to Cidās dismay. Often if the wound is life threatening a limit break will take over and he will heal good as#new or well as he is now ha.#vincent valentine#cid highwind#valenwind#ffvii#i just love them#Cid would often cling to him if Vincent doesnāt do that first#OHHH another hc! Cid snores Vincent doesnāt BUT his lungs are not normal now so you can hear his breathing when he sleeps deeply also his#throat was cut open at some point so his vocal chords were cut and his voice sounds a bit deeper than it did before
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This may be a dumb question and Iām gonna guess the answer is no because you run a fandom account lol, but does working behind the scenes of Sunny ruin the āmagicā of it? I hope this makes sense lol
iv sort of answered this b4 but n a way i think it truly REVIVED the magic for me
if i worked on seasons from the iasip golden era id probs feel differently, and i lamented many many times over the years that i thought i could never work on sunny without ruining it for myself, but w th way th cards fell, i was already kind of on my way out of my hyperfixation on sunny by th time i got th job
i didnt love s13 and then s14 was v much like the final nail n th coffin nd my enjoyment rly faltered there, some stuff i liked but by n large i was like 'ok sunnys kind of over for me.'
before s13 it was more 'i love this season, except for 1 or 2 episodes" and after it became "i dont like this season, except for 1 or 2 episodes"
then, out of the blue getting to work on s15, even tho its still not one of my fave seasons, brought my love back in a completely new way. being able to interact with the cast and crew is magical on its own, and theres a level of pride that cuts through i guess? like 'yeah i remember this day. this day was hard. and now theres an entire episode out! and people liked it!'
theres also a disconnect with what i see happen at work and what actually airs. there are moments, sure, where i suddenly realize i know whats going to happen, but by and large im just as surprised as anyone else by the direction they take the editing. i also like to avoid reading the scripts we get and just let myself be confused. i truly still get to see episodes for the first time like you guys and i still get excited to find out wtf theyr about to do, its not unlike piecing together things seen in promos
like idk, @ th end of the day, everyone is just so nice, and ive met some of my literal favorite people on this earth on that job, and seeing the care and love that goes into what they're doing is an unmatched experience of my life and made me rly appreciate the show even more. rcg and the rest of the cast have all been so welcoming to me, and i love my camera team and th whole crew so much and cant believe how well we get on....im incredibly lucky
#ask#anon#ramblings#id also honestly say i dont think th hyperfixation rly came bck nto full swing until after s16 was over#like ill never let sunny go even if im not as crazy abt it so i was still posting#but i wasnt th way i was n 2016#and im sort of hitting that again now....#i think i interact with everything differently now and mostly focus on th sunny n my headspace#which is a lot of why i draw them as kids so much cuz im just constantly building out their childhoods nd their lives that we arnt privvy 2#but i dunno we'll see how they do s17 maybe ill get crazy abt current sunny again
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i also popped into the grapes in sheffield yesterday (where the monkeys played their very first gig back in 2003 š„¹) for a quick pint and it literally had the loveliest atmosphere, even the bouncer was super sweet. cash only, live music happening in a back room, exclusively locals (and me, sorry), and an arctic monkeys banner above the bar š„° (and i spotted baby alex at the leadmill too š«¶š¼)
#had to do a little arctic monkeys pilgrimage of course ā¤ļø#it was so lovely hearing the accent everywhere#and everyone was so friendly and helpful#like extremely so#my train to london was cancelled this morning so i asked someone for help#and they went out of their way to make sure i could go on another one and helped me find everything#and then informed his colleagues of what was going on and they later came to check on me to see if i was all sorted now š„ŗ#northern hospitality šÆ#love it here#anyways sorry for all the rambling lol#i am just feeling emotional about everything apparently#alex turner#arctic monkeys#minnie talks
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PLEASE COULD WE MAYBE GET LIKE A VIBE OF WHAT THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SETTLE OUR BONES IS GOING TO BE ABOUT NO PRESSURE JUST CURIOUS
The vibe is itās kicking my ass š
#itās a collab with batmoniker!#itās set in Sept/Oct ish#after school starts up again#and it involves some Proper Comic Book stuff#no one throws up in it so I should get points for that!!#a few days ago I got so frustrated trying to work out the logistics in one scene that I cried a little#then felt very dumb bc Iām a grown woman and this is fanfic#then called batmoniker in a panic like listen what if we just scrap the whole fic#and she was like orrrrr#we could NOT do that and just delete the part that isnāt working#and I was like ābut it would be so satisfying to just delete everythingā#and sheās like āI support you butā¦ā¦maybe just try this firstā#ANYWAY it started sort of coming together today#and I THINK itās somewhat steering in the right direction#itās got a TON of pov shifting#including one bit thatās outsider POV#and that makes it quite a challenge#Iām currently on an Alfred section#it has more action than I generally write#but there will still be a good bit of hurt/comfort bc Iām still me#batmoniker and I came up with this idea like 3 years ago while slightly drunk the first time we ever met up irl#so thatās the vibe#and if this fic ever sees the light of day it will be 100% thanks to batmoniker#settle our bones
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Quite a zoo you got there, Connie... šš¾
(more photos under the cut!)
#AAAA I FINALLY GOT IT ALL HUNG UP!!!!! AAAAAAAAA#for the most part... still a few empty spots on the other side of my window#i'll fill it gradually as i collect a few more alan magazines/advertisements š maybe animals too bUT i might keep them to the other side#STILL DECIDING.... there's not a single general theme to each wall of my room just. animals. ALAN PRICE.#well except the record wall behind my tv sort-of#AND THE PRICE-BURDON CORNER. THE UNSUBTLE PRICE-BURDON CORNER.#everything i did in that corner was 1000% on purpose#including buying an issue of fabulous just for the eric photo on the back#aaaaa all of these magazines and posters make my room so bright now.... i love the paint color as is but the contrast is really nice too š„¹#kind of like how the animals and alan came into my life and really brightened it up aaa.. š„¹#GOSH SAPPY STUFF ASIDE. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT!!!!#everything is vintage/original copies btw!!!! no photocopies at all!!#special appearance of the comfort shelf(tm) as well#needed to hang up that photo of hilton hitting john with the stick... that was important#along with the 'congratulations mickie most and lulu' poster LOSING MY MIND ALWAYS AT THAT#losing my mind at my price-burdon issue of beat instrumental..... aaaaaaa#the animals#eric burdon#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#alan price#not a second mag#things i said today#british invasion#60s rock#vintage magazines#classic rock#vintage collector#sooo many pokĆ©mon scattered about as well I LOVE THEM DEARLY. I LOVE MY SPECIAL INTERESTS. ALAN PRICE HAS A GLACEON.
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Sorry whatās up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff
HI HELLO please buckle in
yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.
he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.
it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.
and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.
there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance š„²
FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!
#loren talks#ethan slater#months later let's call this my actual full response/reaction lol#i think at the time this was going down at the end of 2023 i was sort of just Freaking Out like my blood was boiling lol#i was parasocially furious with both of them#ofc now i do realise i'd put him on something of a pedestal#having seen his cute posts about his then wife an former childhood sweetheart plus posts welcoming his new son#AND having watched a youtube mini-series he'd made with his then-brother-in-law. i was SO invested and then.#i was like OH. he really DESTROYED his family huh.#but ofc! every situation is nuanced. we don't know what went on behind the scenes#wrg to his relationship. or what grande's was like with her ex-husband#since everything came to light there's been articles stating that slater wants to work with his ex-wife to share custody of their child#and that he's been spotted backstage WITH his son at spamalot on broadway (his current production)#so it sugggests he's not trying to be an Absent Father#which tracks with some of his own artwork as he and nick blaemire DID write a whole musical about the strained relationship between#a father and son and i just feel like. that suggests something about his personal character. and makes me HOPE he'd want to#be a present and loving parent regardless of circumstance.#anyways.#it's simply not my business BUT. seeing his face#popping up every now and again#it does just. feel extremely weird haha#there's a part of me that's like oh but that's musical spongebob my bestie what's he doing here#as for ariana i really have never had a strong opinion of her#but i have to say hearing her songs out and about these days...... :') i could do without it
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Eddieās weirdo cosplay scene was Tim's way to say, Shannon is dead, we can't bring her back for the same closure as Buck got in 3x18 (it was useless and underwhelming (3x18 I mean) but that's another post).
And Eddie doesn't believe in the mystical, so no curandera like Michelle did in LS,
So let's do whatever the fuck that was and also scar the kid for life in the process.
Tim, I'm slapping you silly from afar.
#drop the parallels just tell a story#not everything has to be symmetrical#unless you plan on buddie endgame#and even then it's the stupidest storyline this came up with and that's saying something considering#eddie diaz#buddie#evan buckley#7x09 in sort of parallel to 3x18#ryan and devon played the hell out of it though#makes me resent the writers for killing shannon off#911 spoilers#911 speculation
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JE week day 3 (for the prompts "sick" and "confession")! Which is also today. Please don't look at you calendars. Anyway this one is much shorter than previous. Warning for second-hand embarrassment I guess? Sorry Jon you're just so bulliable. Fic under the cut.
(Edit I forgot to re-italicize everything lmao. So if you saw a version of this where nothing was in italics uhhhh no you didn't. Also added some other stuff cause this baby needed some editing)
"Elias Bouchard speaking," "Hello. This is Jon." A moment. "Erm- Jon Sims." Idiot. He already knows who you are! "Ah, Jon, good morning. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Elias sounded genuinely warm, like he was actually happy to hear from them. Something light and fuzzy bloomed in their chest. Their head felt blanketed in fog. What were they going to say? "Jon?" Right. Calling out sick. They had a plan that they had practiced over and over again in their head. Stick to the script. "I-I've come down with a cold, I think," their voice sounded rough and scratchy, even to their own ears. "I don't think I'll be able to come in today." "You do sound rather under the weather," there was the faint sound of computer keys clacking in the background. Elias himself seemed nonplussed at the news, which was probably a good sign. Still, barely two months into their important new job and already calling out sickā¦ best to be clear that he wasn't slacking off. "I apologize, I know it must be inconvenient. I assure you that I'll be in to work as soon as possible, a-and-" Their words were rushing out of his mouth, tripping over each other in Jon's desperate need to make themselves understood. Elias mercifully cut them off. "Jon, if you're calling out sick, I'm assuming the situation is dire. Please, take as much time as you need. I'll inform the others that you're not feeling well." Elias sounded so terribly fond Jon was sure they were projecting their own fluttering nonsense onto him. After a brief pause, he added, "And please do make sure that you actually get some rest. Now, will that be all?" "I- thank you. Yesā¦ that- that should be everything." "Alright. Get well soon, Jon." And then, in their cold-fogged brain, some stupid holdover instinct from their relationship with Georgie woke from its years long slumber to fire off "I love you." There was a moment of horrible, echoing silence as they both sat with the words Jon had allowed to leave their mouth. Then, with desperate finality, Jon ended the call.
(A few minutes later their phone vibrated. Jon pulled it out, handling it with all the careful fear of a snake handler holding an angry cobra.
It was a text. From Elias.
While flattering, I assume that's not what you meant to say?
Another vibration, and another message on the screen.
It's alright. Happens to everyone. Best of luck with your recovery and please do let me know if you need anything.)
#jon very narrowly dodging 'you too' only to walk straight into 'i love you'#initially i had their phone ding but then i realized that jon is probably the sort of person to just have their phone on silent all the tim#btw elias texts w/ regular grammar and punctuation because he old as Hell#jon would also text like that because he wants to come across as intelligent and professional#jonelias#joneliasweek#joneliasweek2024#i love my little freak disaster <3 they're trying so hard#and bitter as hell about having to call out. they came like this close to calling in demanding that everyone /else/ take the day off#so that they can work in peace#anyway my day 4 post will be. Very Different in tone from this one. and also long? will probably go on ao3.#we'll see.#ok that should be everything have fun#wait shit my writing tag#sparkwrites
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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"careful, or i'll quote that"
#adamandi#was going to be normal but then this scene popped into my head and played on loop and like#guys this scene just makes me Miserable. they're so friends now they're so happy and funny and then later in the show#she manipulates him and he tries to kill her and like. my god beatrix vincent friendship. omg.#im so. it kills me. i realise these arent the most accurate character styles but i Had to get it out. oh my god. literally the other day i#i was like ''oh haha im not going to directly draw scenes from the show im going to be Thinky and Extra'' but no actually sometimes the#the scenes from the show just hit. this line the delivery the Situations it kills me. im so hnnghghf about them#something also maybe about rewatching media knowing the whole plot and the extra Tragedy it all brings also. like to know the ending will#break your heart (but be also some sort of stunning catharsis) and to watch it all!!! again!!!! aaagh.#fun facts about the first time i watched adamandi proper after looking through the tumblrs and half-spoiling it for myself.. i went in with#the strangest assumptions of portia dies/ vincent makes a virus that kills the other nominees instead of actually stabby stabby and the#new invented biological thing would make him the winner a-la frankenstein style //. quincy cuts off his hand????? i am not sure where any#of these came from T-T but im glad i was wrong on literally every count.#miscellaneous brainrots from re-watching.. in the very very start i think vincent is wearing a mask in word to the wise?? like it was probs#a covid safety thing but it makes me go teehee for some reason. like the whole infectious thing was foreshadowed LMAO (approx 35 seconds in#also the balloons. and the admin. and the balloons. the way it's horrific and the balloons gently rain down#and you can see them bounce in the stunned silence. ooo that little detail. what a moment.#also at this point? i have been noticing the little inconsistencies in actions btwn shots but a) they're not seeable unless you're looking#Closely like i was for specific moments as references.. and b) it makes u think about the inconsistency of theatre as a medium and how nth#is ever delivered the same two ways which is really just !!!! to me. smth smth so so many ways to intepret characters and how everything is#always in flux every single cycle. theatre medium my beloved.#last side note from now: i am so abnormal about the marmorius society members who were phaethon nominees in their own right and instead#perished helping ambrose with HIS project. like. that is some sort of love there isn't it? like???? yes they're all bullies and awful but.#i've been reaching tag limit really quickly with all the recent posts. rambles i guess. so so many thoughts. well actual tags now i guess!#vincent aurelius lin#beatrix valeria campbell
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something itās because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and itās just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation couldāve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement thatās a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them arenāt even true itās just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think itās fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesnāt have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what iām saying . this is too long i canāt keep elaborating
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heyyy, not sure if you were aware, but the op of that "girlhood isn't walks of shame" post is like. ACTUALLY a terf :x
Worm, i checked through the account a bit now and it does seem to be radfemmy, but like. I hope this won't get misunderstood, but i feel like it'd be a bit dishonest for me to delete a rb of a post i agreed with with the reasoning being "i don't agree with everything the op has said" yknow? If that makes sense. A post criticising tiktok bimbocore feminism is a post i agree with, regardless of who made it
#not a big fan of terfs but i hope the whole thing makes sense like#i agreed with the post and to act as if i didn't bc the op posts things i don't agree with feels dishonest#and counterproductive bc it's natural i won't agree with everyone on everything#i'm not voting for them i'm just taking what i agree with from them etc etc#i also hope this doesn't come across as aggressive (??)#it's hard to like have tone come across in text but the whole ''i can agree with 1 thing with someone and disagree with 99 things#but it won't make me say they're wrong ab the 1 thing too''#is something i believe in nd tend to follow but at the same time i wanna say i appreciate this and i think of you as a friend#so i gen hope none of this came across as rude or idk talking down or anything of the sort#that said rbs off bc i trust you and my mutuals but i don't trust tumblr as a whole to not take my words out of context hdbsbdhdjd
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Hmm I believe I remember learning a few years ago that when one is asked to acknowledge that theyāre impacted subconsciously by systemic racism/sexism/homophobia etc, or is told that theyāre behaving in a way thatās bigoted/harmful, āno Iām notā is the wrong answer. So I think some of you should get less excited about saying that when Jewish people tell you youāre being antisemitic.
#guess what. Your views on Israel and Palestine ARE in fact going to be influenced by the fact that one of those nations is Jewish.#Just as itāll be influenced by the fact that one of those nations is majority Muslim.#Just as your feelings about police shootings will be influenced by the majority of victims being Black or Indigenous.#Just as your feelings about EVERYTHING will be impacted by the social forces that have shaped you and colour your perception.#Antisemitism actually DOES colour the words of people insisting that targeting Israeli civilians was a legitimate act of resistance.#Just as racism and Islamophobia colour the words of Israeli politicians and soldiers who insist that wiping out Gaza is a fair price to pay#for wiping out Hamas.#it has been absolutely staggering to see person after person on this site#casually assert that rules of war do not apply when the civilians they protect are Israeli#and refuse to consider even the SLIGHTEST possibility that the ease with which that assertion came to them#might have SOMETHING to do with an internalized belief that ā say ā#there is no such thing as a Jewish civilian? that all Jews are inherently loyal to other Jews above any loyalty to justice?#that all Jewish people wield a sort of inherent power that makes them less vulnerable and therefore acceptable targets?#Of course youāre antisemitic. Yes. You. I am too. We all are. We live in an antisemitic society.#And if youāll acknowledge that societal racism and sexism and homophobia inform your subconscious beliefs#and youāll critically reflect on THOSE#but you wonāt afford antisemitism the same dignity#I think that probably says something about something.#Just to be clear this actually isnāt a post that says anything about my stance on Israel and Palestine#because my stance on that is actually extremely simpleā FTR itās āapartheid and war crimes and forced displacement are bad thingsā#but this is about the internetās RESPONSE#and the downright celebratory glee that I saw people have on oct 7th#and the fucking twisted excitement theyāve shown treating further Israeli war crimes like ammunition to justify it#and the simple truth that ā while Iāll believe you MIGHT still have condoned it ā#I do not believe any of you would have CELEBRATED the massacre of thousands of civilians in a period of minutes#if. those. civilians. had. not. been. Jews.#Rhi talks#palestine#antisemitism#Yeah and Iāll post this one too. Anon is still on. String me up.
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