#anyways sorry for all the rambling lol

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

i also popped into the grapes in sheffield yesterday (where the monkeys played their very first gig back in 2003 🥹) for a quick pint and it literally had the loveliest atmosphere, even the bouncer was super sweet. cash only, live music happening in a back room, exclusively locals (and me, sorry), and an arctic monkeys banner above the bar 🥰 (and i spotted baby alex at the leadmill too 🫶🏼)

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[thevalleyoftriumph]

[reupload] copycat

[lucabyte]

If you wouldn't mind, could you explain to me in detail how your sifloop works? Would there ever be a romantic relationship between the two (and how do you think they would get to that stage) or do you just think they'll be stuck in this weird messed up obsession and loathing loop forever? Anyway your takes on sifloop are my favourite if you couldn't tell

Oh, I've been depicting it as romantic the whole time (remembers I'm asexual and aromantic and thus my depictions of such are alien at best) Er, though you'd be forgiven for not noticing.

I know I don't draw them being particularly traditionally cute (kissing, cuddling, etc) (even though I do envision that any time it's not literally extremely inconvenient that they are entangled like a pair of magnetised squiddles) particularly often.*

(Though, I do have some hints at that kind of behaviour: (x) (x) (x)) But this is where, hm, my particular readings of these characters' self-assessment comes in.

I believe that I (an aroace tumblr user who has been immersed in nuianced language about such things since i was an early teen) and Siffrin/Loop (a guy approaching their thirties who seems to have escaped social pressures primarily via isolation from their peers) will have some different views on things. Hell, Sif/Loop don't even have words for Asexuality and Aromanticism even if they seem to be able to point toward the feeling with roundabout language.

I think that their relationship, in the way that it would manifest, would first and foremost be Physical. Some real Maslow's hierarchy shit. Both of them are viciously touch starved and given the whole shared-ownership-of-body thing I keep alluding to (x) (x) I think they are prone to being a tangled pile of limbs both clothed and unclothed.

Now I (enlightened modern day asexual) do not think that physical/sexual/romantic are in any way synonyms unless you want them to be. I believe that literally all associated behaviours of these can be platonic if that's how you feel about it. Howeverrrrrrr. I really cannot envision "black-and-white-thinking-world-champion siffrin and/or loop" being able to disentangle that so easily. I think they would have trouble squaring the circle of certain actions not being reserved for romance, at least not until after several years of continued unpacking and philosophical discussion with Mirabelle and Odile.

And then there's the part where Siffrin/Loop (and also Isabeau!) have some absolutely insane Jealous streaks. Not even on the downlow, they just do. I think that combination of jealousy and posessiveness when paired with unevenly splitting time between A Guy You're Established To Be (at the very least on his side, romantically) In Love With, and Your Weird Fucking Clone Who You Keep Being Intimate And Intensely Emotional With, is going to cause some problems when it comes to labelling things.

I do not think Sif/Loop are stupid, but man do they ever lack emotional intelligence in a lot of areas (a thing the whole game hammers home). I do not think that they would be level-headed enough to independently invent the idea of "QPR, but the kind where you do basically fuck sometimes". I think they would just (agonise over cheating, first of all.) call it a romantic pairing and be done with it.

And then Isabeau is also there I guess. I gesture at him and at my aforementioned Iseabeau Torment Nexus thoughts (x)(x). I believe this polycule can work and even be healthy but hahahaha oh man they are gonna have some weirrrrrrd fuckin tension beforehand lolllll.

as for how i think they'd get to that stage? lol, lmao. I think of things with a lens of 'what would be the most narratively intense' a lot of the time, so my answer there is:

They basically act like one right out of the gate, at least to the average onlooker**. This makes the fights feel worse. This makes them both paranoid in different ways about how this affects Siffrin's relationship to Isabeau. This makes it more difficult for the party to go "hey so, your friend, we're all being very accepting of their sharp edges because they're clearly someone who's struggling, but why are they suuuuch an asshole?". They fret about this and it causes more push and pull as either side feels guilty about this relationship they're not 'supposed' to have. Even if their relationship woes could easily be squared away by either categorising it as a QPR or talking to Isa (who is vaugardian and probably thus lax about polyamory) neither of them are going to do that right out of the gate because they lack the language, are prone to being wracked by guilt, often assume the worst will happen should they talk about difficult topics, and straight up maybe just see intimacy/sexuality/romance as a package deal due to lacking the social expertise... You see what I mean.

I don't Know if what I envision is... The literal platonic ideal of "A Romantic Relationship". I don't know that if Cupid came on down and inspected my brain that they'd agree that this is romantic and not just like, something really fucking weird, man. I don't even know if I would call it romantic, necessarily. BUT. I Do Think. That These Two. Would Maybe Label It That Way. Because it would make it easier for them to understand and come to peace with that way. Which is what matters. Labels are Descriptive, not Prescriptive.

What I DO think i envision however is something so fucking aroace brained that i can point to sif/loop's canon labels, point to MY labels, and then give you a big thumbs up hoping that you won't get on my ass for implying several sentences upstream that "they probably basically fuck, or something, idk, does star-sucking count as sex? i'm not a doctor nor medical professional of any kind. you probably shouldn't drink whatever comes out of it though"

Implicit question 2: "Jesus Christ you make them seem to hate each other, is that not contradictory? Is that all supposed to be during them being romantically involved?" Yup! Sorry for the subtle undercurrent I haven't previously explicitly and overtly established literally at all but a good chunk of that percieved hatred is a byproduct of Loop keeping their identity secret. That's the space wherein I set most of my fanart. (x) Once that cat is out of the bag I think the heat cools off significantly because then they aren't both talking around each other trying not to actually say what they're fighting about. They can actually bond about shared experiences out in the open rather than keeping their traps shut in case the party overhears. They still fight and have problems thereafter, but it's not made worse by being unable to directly discuss the core issue (+ the party can actually contribute/try to shut things down rather than being unclear on what exactly the issue is)

The above ALSO not helping when it comes to jealousy/feelings of infidelity re: Isabeau. (When specifically in the context of Romantic Frustration here, since that jealousy extends to the whole party when generalised) So that adds another thing to, not necessarily fight about, but be bitter over.

As for hatred being contradictory. Mmm. Nah.

The opposite of Love is not Hate. It is Indifference. (A theme ISAT notably gets at). Hate is distinctly something you do if you care. Often if you care Way Too Much.

I try not to write them hating each other, so much as feeling extremely intensely about each other. (x)

Feeling intensely Thankful, Understood, Sorry, Trapped, Devoted, Jealous, Protective, Pitying, Indebted...

^ Scary ! Complicated ! Hard to deal with ! Even the positive ones can be overwhelming! It's gonna make things weird!

So uh, Yeah. There's your answer? I suppose tl;dr: I view relationships as nebulous and only defined by those in it. (This is something I have previously yapped about at length in essays about my OCs lol) And generally view that there's no "true" label for any relationship except the one that doesn't cause undue distress. (which. i mean it does here. but it probably works out in the end with enough talking)

Asking me to define if something is romantic is like asking me to pin down the true form of the Human Soul. Like dawg i dont know how to do that i dont even know if that shit is real. there are merely actions and their constructed societal categories. If i tell you I think they kiss sometimes does that clear it up? (It shouldn't, obviously, but you get what I mean)

But yeah. Gestures broadly. Shipping an ace (and maybe even aroace based on some shit that little fella says) character like this means it comes with an essay. Because it necessarily interfaces with their nonstandard mode of interaction in that arena. The part where its weirdo fucking ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ selfcest merely adds a layer.***

... Anyway I'll leave you with this. The mirasifloop qpr "so what is.... romance?" discussion sessions are probably downright dialectical aren't they. Feelings Buddies discuss the phrase "Self-Love" 23467324235 dead 3 injured

*i do have like . 2 wips. that would. include this kind of behaviour explicitly. but i simply have not gotten around to them yet. and also don't worry neither of them are purely fluff both of them still have an air of worrying fuckedupedness about them. yay !

** inkeeping with my "geared for maximal conflict" mind, this can be flavoured with some "technically nobody can say it's not canon, I guess?" during-the-game Sifloop. By handing them the 'started leaning on each other for comfort more blatantly toward the end of a4' thing, since, well, I think exploring the "Loop expected at least one of them to be dead by the end of this/Loop never expected this to end, and thus began filling in that 'Lover' role as comfort/pity/selfishness/mercy given their knowledge that Isabeau is forever out of reach for both of/at least one of them" angle is... Well it's certainly fuckin' compelling that's for sure. Like oops, you let the timeloop malaise get to you and maybe started a trist because you thought you'd be dead before there'd be any lasting consequences. Here's those consequences, motherfucker !! But you won't catch me putting that explicitly in my comics because I don't want to change anything about the raw text of canon when I'm exploring its consequences. However, nothing I do is Incompatible with this read. And I enjoy making things more tortured so. Shrugs and hands this to you. Be free. (....x)

*** those of you that know what i mean by this just had all of it click just now didnt you. lol.

[half-a-life-left]

LOYALTY (PART 6/?)

[franky-y]

finally managed to finish this

[storfulsten]

damn.

damn again.

-

original

[cerealmonster15]

cheneige moment aka me trying to learn how 2 draw rsa students

[glacier-shrimp]

Done with our favorite Spider-Boy! Spiderling? Spider... What was his name again?

Avengers paper cutout 6/?

[crowdeerdire]

I have a lot of thoughts about Percy Tozaki (from Keyframes VN) and I just... I wanna write them down but I need to go through the game again (I never trust my own memory lmfao). wait nvm I started and I can't stop my thought train elp Like on the surface he acts very charsmatic and charming, but you can see SO often in the game that he often steps back and let's others shine over himself? And like... He's always looking out for the other two guys? Like he'll make sure Jamie gets something he likes to eat/willing to eat? He grabed a ton of lemonade for Elio to reward him for being nice (despite saying that's not what he's doing). He makes sure everyone is seen while he just... steps back?? LIKE. I SEE YOU PERCY. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING Also I haven't played everything out there yet of Keyframes, but I noticed he never really talks much about himself/family? He always ends up talking about Elio's family and it sounds like once they became friends in highschool he was always there? So I'm like??? hello is there angst there?? AND THEN I did the event where they go to halfway point and he says he got into his school career path because he's just kind of good at it? Like that might not sound like much, but before I got that scene I was thinking for my MC that she just became a lawyer because she was told 'it's either that or you're worthless' (better phrased but I'm sleep deprived). And when that scene came up you had the option of saying your family was a line of lawyers and that just lined up with her so well? So I'm not thinking that Percy is the same since each answer seems to line up with each li (Family is in that career <- Elio, Wants to help people <- Cameron, Jamie [not sure because I haven't done his route but he reacts to this line], In it for the money <- Not sure because I forgot to check the reactions for this line), but I'm thinking maybe he was pressured to go that career path from family?? PROBABLY reading too much into it but it is interesting that he never mentions his own family... MAN even at the Spring Festival he says he wants to play games but the other derail him/get to do what they want? And when you hang out as a group (I havn't done the indivdual hang outs yet) you just never end up doing the games?? Well, the ones where you can win a cheap toy prize. You do some fun challenges together, but I don't think that's what he was aiming for when he said what he wanted to do. (Spoilers from asks from Blank House after this) Also I saw through Blank House asks that one of the li routes is gonna include a breakup? And my first thought is: Jamie, of course. He's international so he might break up with you because he's going back to Sweden? but what if it's one of the other lis... AND I can't see it being Elio... (if it was that would come from left field LOL) (ok done about the BH ask) ANYWAYS PERCY I SEE YOU. I SEE YOUR PAIN AND I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOU

[1driedpersimmon]

Scus the //blood I was having feeling and decided the best solution was to dump Sesame in blood

And also Hauchie sweeping him off his feet because oh no

(And Sesame charm for myself hehe, maybe)

[scrufflesksunnide]

I like my friends, I like the people I'm moots with, I like the people that support me, I like the people I look up to. There was always one person I never gave enough credit than I should. How I'm still me after all I've went through and seen? I don't know, but it molded a stronger and better person because of it. Someone who can I be proud of. Someone I hope other people can be proud of too. There's still much to work on, but hey, I'm getting there. Despite everything, It will always still be me I see in that mirror... and I wouldn't have it any other way. Reflection is a canvas to see my flaws and my strengths, I am no longer scared of it.

old art

is this a vent? not really, I don't feel sad, I feel positive of myself. Maybe not in a happy or excited way, but more of a accepting way I wouldn't be here if I didn't have the people that supported me through and through. the people that supported me showed me that there is love and something to treasure in those small moments you have with people. Without them, I wouldn't have made the final step to supporting, well, myself. That was the one person I needed the most, me.

I'm not perfect, god forbid I try to be. But I AM someone who people care about. I care about me too.

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!!??!!??!!!!?!!

sometimes arrows find their mark! oopsie!

[sunnys-aesthetic]

gentle reminder that if you're a minor to please be mindful of my 18+only warnings in my blog <;'3 i got a lot of minors following me since the cotl potluck and this is mainly bc i while i dont draw nsfw my art style still isnt for 16+