#everything im supposed to do i dont
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i feel so weird i need to sleep and i dont im stressed and im not im sleepy and im not i have studied and yet have i? cant afford to binge watch but i am cant afford to binge eat yet i am cant afford to not exercise and yet thats the one thing i will not do cant afford to waste time but i do
#less than a month#feels like ive done nothing#literally#the gk revision is subpar to be put extremely mildly#not completely dead ofc ive worked hard but#not hard enough#not consistently enough#keep on getting involved in pointless drama (not true it happened once)#but fact remains#im not studying hard enough#frankly speaking i know i still have a chance#because of course i do#but consistency is not my cup of tea#everything i start i drop#everything im supposed to do i dont#good god this is a rant#missed treating tumblr like my personal diary
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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meet cassian :]
close ups and more info under the cut!
gloomiest guy you’ll ever meet
pathetic loser
he’s an artist
comes from a rich family
he barely leaves his house, he stays inside a LOOOOOT
insane attachment issues
clingy and dependant yandere
he guilt trips a lot (isn’t really aware of it lmao) can be really manipulative without trying unfortunately
texts you constantly but if you don’t answer back in like 5 minutes he starts freaking out
sometimes he’s normal enough but if you take too long he WILL lose it
doesn't like it when you talk to other people, why can't you just talk to him? is he not good enough for you? what's so interesting about other people anyway?
he hates stairs (he's fallen down and up the stairs WAYYY too many times)
shy (lmao ok) and introverted (has a really hard time talking to people)
has a mascot! (his name is PopUp :] he made him for a school project and just ended up liking him a lot lol)
sopping wet cat
don’t be mean to him, he doesn’t like it, even as a joke
doesn’t get much social interaction cause he stays inside a lot
WAYYYY more comfortable texting, he’s like a totally different person when you’re texting him
spams a lot. like a lot
used to be a lot more outgoing and social
wishes you could be by his side 24/7
he’s sad a lot of the time
feels unloved, please shower him in love
really pessimistic when it comes to himself
he’s really passionate about art
you and art are the two things that make him extremely happy
if you thought nox was tired, meet cassian! he has an even worse sleeping schedule than nox
he’ll do ANYTHING to keep you by his side
so he can and will kidnap you! lol!
is also a stalker… great..!
has probably installed a camera somewhere in your room (um??)
you’re probably one of the only people that can convince him to leave his room
really loves shoujo manga, has fantasized about being the perfect male lead for you (he really wants a romance like that, only with you)
he's a huge romantic, he wants the two of you to have a happy life together
so please don’t leave him. please
takes a lot of walks at night, don’t worry he doesn’t spend ALL of his time inside (he wishes he could tho.)
he wants to have his happy ending with you <3
#num draws#cassian posting#<- hehe#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere male#oc art#yandere#original character#digital art#guys meet my sopping wet cat of an oc! i love him dearly!#also. i think i said this before but i put a lot of my own traits into my ocs#this fucker has the most of my traits. i wonder what that says about me#NONE OF THE YANDERE STUFF THO THATS ALL HIM!#i wanted to include more info but if i do ill just keep going and going and going and i dont think anyone is gonna read all that anyway </3#btw PopUp is a character that i made for a school project so yeah he's stealing him from me (and im ok w that. was supposed to happen lol)#i mean ive shown PopUp on the blog before just didn't tag it (bc i was just yapping and complaining about my project.)#this is my first time posting a full body (and like its the first one ive drawn in a while) pls be kind. im so scared to post this.#i worked really really hard on this so im excited to share this with you!#also this is my 1000th post. hell.#i still need to add him to the relationship chart n everything.#also i think ill do proper ref sheets for them bc. i cant just leave them as busts.#and ill rework rowan's too bc he deserves my love
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bug doodles so i can say i drew something
#oc#original character#alien oc#artists on tumblr#art#aliens#sketch#nyx#having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too#i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right#if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month#just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling#IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR#more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it#i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it#guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art#or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed
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Sorry ab the shitty English translations/localizations, it's bc they think that Americans won't get it otherwise (bc when we act stupid, we act REALLY stupid), our bad 💀
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#for the record- this is mostly a joke#i have .. alot of gripes with alot of it#but i know localization isnt easy this isnt supposed to hate on the people doing it#.............. i can still dislike it though#the most annoying part is that the largest .. or most accessible part of the fandom is english only and i have to deal with all the english#-versions which are always so darn different .. and sometimes stupid .. im sorry ....#one of the wildest things was watching a non english stream and the guy puzzling over a riddle in a shrine quest#and people posting him the english text of the quest that just ... spells out the solution#AND then complaining about how bad the german one is bc he and others seemed to assume english is the center language of everything#ITS A RIDDLE#ITS NOT A RIDDLE OF YOU DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT#not plainly telling you the solution to a (not even that hard) puzzle isnt a sign of bad translation !!!!!!!!!! TOT#im not beyond being dumb btw#a few shrines in totk i left bc i freakign forgot the stupid abilities#but thats ok!!!! i went back at some point and thought man was i stupid#and thats not a bad thing!! maybe thats why all the shrines where so piss easy in general#so as few people as possible can get stuck on some .. whichs is so ... pls .. i want to think#let me get mad for a minute even if im not in a good mood and then return and see my own stupidity#....but also the shrines in totk just werent fun (to me to meeeee to meeeeee)#nigh all of it was just fiddling around with ultrahand ... and not even building anything fun- glue wheel to platform- shrine done yippiiie#make bridge- yippiiii- ...nevermind how you can pretty much skip everything all the time so easily (which i didnt do .. still wasnt that fu
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Ever After High, but make it a PIDW AU.
Imagine how fucked up it would be if Shen Jiu is up there doing the book signing ceremony that seals his destiny of becoming the next 'Shen Qingqiu', and the mirrors display him getting thrown away by his martial siblings at the trial, and his limbs being torn off and other despicable tortures, and being brought down so low that your humanity is stripped away from you, all for an audience to see. And they cheer. The crowd is ecstatic, perhaps even more so than when his father, Shen Qingqiu, was put on trial.
#and sj is barely 15 when this happens#and every goddamn person is reveling in watching this child get tortured#and he's done ntg to warrent this yet bc he HASNT signed the stupid destiny book and he DOESNT want to be the scum villian#dont ask me how the logic of this au works#i dont fucking know#its just that some of the eah characters DO have fucked up stories#and the grimm brother stories were dark as hell#so im like what if pidw???? what if shen jiu??? shen jiu and pain???? yes.#shen jiu#svsss#mxtx svsss#original shen qingqiu#og shen qingqiu#scumbag self saving system#svsss crossover#scum villain#ever after high au#the scum villain's self saving system#scum villain self saving system#and the only person that's NOT advocating for his death is lbg's SON!! the very person that's supposed to kill him!#he (lbm) also happens to be smn who rllyyyy hates his dad and is not signing no book of destiny either#when he sees the same hopelessness that he feels in sj's eyes#he decides at that moment that he's going to be sj's no. 1 defender everything else be damned#so when sj announces that he's not signing#lbm gets up on the stage and makes it clear that he won't either#and they kith#bingjiu#pidw#proud immortal demon way
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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being a comic charles xavier fan is like being in the trenches like yeah we know he sucks! idk why they demonize people who like morally grey/villainous characters and sometimes they judge him based off of stuff that was retconned long ago that stemmed from harmful stereotypes about disabled people at the time 💀
i think my favorite part of the Comic Charles Enjoyer experience is sometimes seeing people act as though he personally went into their house and shot their dog or something
#snap chats#i suppose this is in reference to recent twitter events vjAELKEAJKL#like i get not liking a character that's perfectly fine to do but the rage people approach charles with#I Repeat you would think he did in fact shoot your dog jVAELKVJEAK LIKE IS IT THAT SERIOUS#BUT NO THIS IS LEGIT MY FAVE THING CAUSE ITS SO FUNNY#like beyond having to make the Ninety disclaimers that 'yes ik charles has done bad things no i dont approve everything' blahblah#i do love just. going on twitter and he wont even be involved in the convo at all and someone will just wish death on him#LIKE PLEASE HE ISNT EVEN HEEERRE its so funny#like Again out of all the charas ive enjoyed over the years ive never seen such a response to a chara like charles its so funny#you'd think he does some Truly Evil Diabolical shit every time he shows up in a comic but like ... surely theres been worse ...#idk. i havent read enough comics to fully witness The Evils Of Charles Xavier so maybe im just not in the loop yet#all i know is ive talked about this with my bro and a friend of mine and ultimately all i can say is Its Really Funny
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hes basically just a nervous puppy if you think about it hard enough and also squint and also take your glasses off
#kieran duffy#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption 2 fanart#my art#and so begins my red dead hyperfixation#listen it was on sale. what else was i supposed to do#and i was already hyperfixated so i might as well just buy the game lmao#im not going to progress past chapter 2 i dont think. everything will be Fiine.
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avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
#i have. so many absences it's ridiculous to go right now i know it will be worse if i dont go i have to go#ive been just tossing and turning for like 2 hours with some freakign heart palpitations cause im so fucking scared#i was supposed to go last week and i didnt do it then either and every time i feel worse but i cant make myself go#AAAAAAAAA Im gonna die here i know i just have to force myself but i dont want to i want to stay at home which will fix nothing and#make everything worse in the long run#im aware of thsi but i still cant get myself to go idk what to do in this situation i feel horrible augh#i have so many absences I literally went once at the start of the semester and it's been what. 2 and a half months almost 3#i didnt do much for the class and i didnt go to class idk what to do.. theres literally no other way than to force myself to go#i KNOW I'll instantly feel better if i just stay home. i knowww i knowwww but its not going to help anything#i feel like shit and so ashamed and i just really dont want to go through this#FUUCK#im just#completely in panic mode rn. idk if i wont just try to go tomorrow idk if this is a bad decision im still just putting it off#im just totally by myself and cant even talk to anyone to calm down uauauhcgchdhd#im feeling pretty pathetic rn i should be able to do thisss i should be able to do this by myself#this is like self inflicted psychological horror and it's like every other day for me for many years now ouughh
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️
#sin scribbles#bloodborne#good hunter#good hunter bloodborne#hunter bloodborne#bloodborne oc#bloodborne oc ; ruza#(ITS DONE CAN U BELIEVE IT I SURE CANT!!!!)#(yes. i repeat. this was largely inspired and enforced by me playin d/m/c5 again. LOL.)#(look.......is it my fault my favourite games happen 2 both be about monster hunters with cool swords???)#(anyways whatever AHEM *shuffles notes*)#(i do rly like ruza in the knights garb tbf its fun and flashy. especially in game where everything is dark af)#(very fun to draw. but i prefer her in the actual hunting garb so THATS WHAT WE STICKIN WITH.)#(at least for now idk my mind changes like the weather sis thats largely why i havent given her a new ref sheet)#(or posted her new bio bc tbh im cursed!!!)#(as soon as i post a ref or a bio i immediately want to change it all. so. i just wont LOL)#(if yall still curious about her u can just send an ask or a dm or smth i dont bite 😂)#(this was supposed to be a sketch sheet can u tell i lied deceived played myself to filth)#(bonus cainhurst armor look bc i love that set SOOOOO....much)#(watch out yall sin is back at it with her nonsense cloth physics again)
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genuinely don't know what to do with myself post jayvik because I became frothingly rabid over a ship I barely registered as something I'd be into featuring a character I did not like in the span of like two hours and now I just have to live with the fact their ending was so perfectly transcendent and universe-rendingly beautiful and tragic that I don't even know if I could consume normal content about them now, I'm just left with insane feelings and a desire for more that will never truly be fulfilled
#jayvik#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#like im so unwell about this ship right now#i havent had a ship ruin my life like this in a long time#and they did it in fucking zero hour of the show#it was literally everything i love in ships#the undying loyalty#the saving each other over and over again#choosing each other over the fucking world and saving it in the process#in every timeline!!#what the fuck!!#what am i supposed to do with this now!!#i hate it here i dont know what to do with myself dhsvxndbskhssk
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if anyone asks
tell them ive ascended to heaven
#WHAT THE FUCKSVSHISBSKD#OFFICIAL HSR MV ??????? STOP IM ACTUALLY CRYING WHY DID THIS MAKE ME EMOTIONAL#OURGH ROBIN AND SUNDAY MY BELOVEDS !!!!! AVENTURINE YOU !!!! SPARKLE LOML !!!!! BLACK SWAN ?!??!? GALLAGHER !!!!! ACHERON MY LOVE !!!!!#AND SAMPO MY LOVE YOU AAAAA#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FIREFLY AND MC ?????? LIKE STOP THEIR SCENES ARE SO SO PRETTY AND THE WAY THE SONG SOFTENED WHEN WE SAW THEM#THE MUSIC IS SO !!!!!! AND THE FACT ITS IN ALL 4 LANGUAGES TOO LIKE HELLO WHAT THEY ALL SOUND DIVINE ????#AMVS WHO FR 😭😭#stop im not ready for penacony i cant believe 2.0 is in a little under 2 weeks like how am i supposed to cope until then ???#all the qol updates and the free 20 pulls…. sobbing hsr my love my life my destiny ……. i will give u my bank whenever u want …….#they have it out on spotify and u can bet ur ass im already looping it and will continue to do so for the next 6 months#AT LEAST#god the vocals …. the cinematography …… the vibes …… i cabt everything is so perfect …….#interstellar journey 2.0 and my god im so glad theyve done it again and will most likely do it for new worlds/regions in the future 😩🫶#may this journey lead us starward <3
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Oh my adhd having students, I mean this in the most "I'm trying to help u pass this class" way possible: what the fuck am I supposed to do with you? And I mean that as an earnest question. If u have advice pls let me know.
#bc the thing is. u have to be in attendance to get credit for labs and u have to turn in assignments to get credit#and i dont kno how to make those things happen for you. so like???#and u can have flexible attendance but u dont get credit if u arent there and we cant do makeups for all the labs#bc that infringes on our lab manager's time in a way that doesn't work#and u can have flexible deadlines but like if u dont turn things in there's no credit to be given. so again???#i dont know how to help and i dont kno how much of this is im a dumb 18yo who is used to arrangements being made for me. bc i get that#from students who dont have learning disabilities vs how much is a genuine inability to keep things on task#and like how much am i expected to give? im just a graduate TA. i cant hold ur hand thru everything. im not paid to do that#but i want to help however i can. so like??? i dont kno what to do and i understand the frustration#as someone with a learning disability that isnt really helped by the accommodations i have access to#but is it a case of: u need to try harder or even trying ur hardest it's nnot possible. i dont kno. i cant kno#and what the fuck am i supposed to do if its the latter? it just sucks#unrelated
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is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?
#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autism things#asking autistics#i want/need a friend group but it ALWAYS GOES BAD!!!!!!!! AND ITS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MY FAULT?! idk what im doing wrong. people suck.#but i need people and i hate that about me. why cant i split myself in half a few times#or learn how to do group activities alone....like playing tennis. going to the amusement park ive wanred to go to since i was a kid.#drive alone on long trips where i will fall asleep but talk to myself so i dont or something. walk on the park trails alone where people#get kidnapped and stuff when alone. go to a convention and cosplay a group of characters alone. one for each finger....#if you cant tell im being sarcastic. and doing a bad job. sighs. i hate that i have to do everything i need/want a group for alone because#i cant make friends or make groups keep me in them. assuming because im autistic and they hate me 🙃#eother that or im a piece of shit and dont realize it!!!!! how am i supposed to know when no one tells me!!!! 😭😭😭😭#so is it actually me and my fault or is it because im autistic and people just do this to us for some reason#autism stuff
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