#everyone is always sick
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rooftops-are-for-towels · 2 days ago
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Is the world out there as ill as the world in here? How often are you sick? How often is your family sick, how often are your friends? How often does sickness spread, how easy has it become to be sick- for you, for others? How long are you sick? At times, is it endless?
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stealingpotatoes · 2 months ago
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the illness post is still getting notes (???!! <3) and that means people are still telling me to get better soon, which is really nice but im gonna be too powerful if i get any better
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mythicalcoolkid · 8 months ago
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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inkskinned · 2 months ago
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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diushek · 21 days ago
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The Shen Qingqiu who has a strong qi deviation and becomes a child of 7, 8 years old? but he talks about weird things like Pokemon, TV, internet, chocolate cookies, his brothers and where they are and where is his mom.
At this moment, Luo Binghe has already fallen into the Abyss- so, there is a bit of relief about Shen Qingqiu not mourning, but that child is a terror of nature. He goes barefoot everywhere, he has no decorum in his dress, he talks nonstop as if he had a sugar overdose- he says that Liu Qingge is pretty like a Barbie, no matter who the hell that Barbie-jie is (Liu Qingge even gets offended, has he been compared to some COURTESAN?), that Qi Qingqi scares him if she does THAT look (and finally challenge her to flex her arm muscles just to hang from them, and she is PROUD), he rejects Yue Qingyuan's hugs by saying that his clothes are ugly and stiff, but then only accepts cuddles because he says that he has puppy eyes and it's not fair. He tries to flee or attack when Mu Qingfang comes near, saying he smells like a bad weird doctor, and only lets him come closer when Mu Qingfang promises that there will be no needles involved (he also talks a lot about something called a UCI, weird operations - how the hell HAD HIS HEART BEEN REPLACED? what the fuck was a pacemaker - and how horrible hospital food is). And definitely NONE OF THEM can deal with the demanding, loud, complainer, critic, easily bored chaos that is that child.
The only one who seems to know what the hell to do with that little Shen Qingqiu? Of course, Shang Qinghua.
He sings to him in an unknown language lively songs to which the child responds by squealing with joy and following the melodies, they talk about something called Pokemon for hours, he apologizes for not having chocolate cookies (he offers him milk candies as compensation), he says they have no internet reception up there and what's the point of having a TV if they don't have good shows?? Entertains the boy for HOURS telling him about monsters and plants, both clearly made-up stories and real stories from that world. He makes him run chasing flying folded paper to exhaust their energy, and even cooks his meals making meals that none of the other Peak Lords have ever seen (much to the chagrin of disciples Ming Fan and Ning Yingying - they also want to spoil little Shizun!!! But the child only makes ugly faces when he sees white rice!!!)
All the Peak Lords are perplexed who happens to be the only one who knows what to do after all. Apparently and thank goodness, it is temporary; soon Shen Qingqiu's qi will circulate normally and his body will return to adulthood as well as his mind. In the meantime, the sect basically leaves him in Shang Qinghua's hands - although they visit him almost daily.
And Mobei Jun, who sees much of all that because the child Shen Qingqiu - or Yuanyuan - does not leave the side of his spy no matter where he go or what he has to do, just think how much he wants to put babies in Qinghua. Many of them. He will find out how, and soon.
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whoiskt · 1 year ago
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Questions about two of your original characters about their relationship. Should work for friends/lovers/coworkers/enemies/etc, maybe not so much for family, but you're welcome to try!
How did they meet?
How long have these two characters known each other?
What were their first impressions of each other? How does that compare to their impressions of each other now?
How would they describe each other if asked? Physically? In personality?
Do they get along? Why or why not?
Do they have any shared interests/hobbies? Do they ever do these hobbies together?
How often do they see each other? Where do they usually meet?
How do they communicate with each other? Are there any recurring phrases or gestures unique to their relationship?
What is one quality they have in common?
What is one major difference between them?
Does one act as a narrative foil to the other? How so?
Do they have any affection for each other? How do they show it?
Do they have any disdain/contempt for each other? How do they show it?
Do they share the same goals in life?
Do they trust each other? Why or why not?
Is one of them keeping secrets from the other? Why? How would they react if the secret was revealed?
Are they keeping a secret together? How do they feel about that?
Do they view their relationship as temporary or permanent?
Are they satisfied with their relationship? Do they wish they were closer/more distant?
What is their best memory together?
What is their worst memory together?
When were they the most vulnerable with each other?
Do they have any mutual friends? Mutual enemies?
How do these two interact with each other in public versus in private?
If a stranger saw them together, how would they describe their relationship?
How would these characters react to being stuck in a small room with each other?
How far would they go for each other? Would they risk their own lives for each other?
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karuframe · 1 month ago
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Babas Aoi! (Lettie/Aoi+recolored)
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dingledraw · 9 months ago
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Lady Antonia J. Crowley
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natalievoncatte · 6 months ago
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She had it. She actually had it, in her hands.
Myriad. The ultimate weapon of a dying race, brought to Earth to subjugate its people and rebuild an empire from a shattered world, possibly the key to saving this one. The key Lena needed to unlock Non Nocere and
(take over)
heal the world. End all strife. Eradicate all conflict. No more pain. No more deceit. No more greed, or cruelty, a world without malice, a peace without end.
No more lies.
It was in her hands, such a small petty little thing, barely more than a trinket.
Lena dropped it too sharply on the stainless steel lab table, took three steps, and vomited, the contents of her stomach noisily splashing at her feet. It was the effects of portal travel, she told herself- like jumping from a great height and into cold water at the same time.
(oh god what did I do)
She just needed a few moments to steady herself, collect her bearings, clean up.
(oh god oh god I hurt her what have I done)
Then, she could begin her work immediately. She shrugged out of her coat and found a bottle of vodka, hardly her weapon of choice, and took a pull straight from it to wash the
(pain away)
sour taste of her own puke out of her mouth and dull the sour churning in her stomach, because she couldn’t get the image out of her head, the image of Kara lying broken on the fortress floor with green lines of agony carved in her flawless skin and the most heartbroken look of remorse and fear in her eyes.
(Lena don’t do this)
(please don’t do this I’m SORRY)
Snatching the Myriad core from the lab table, she went to shove it into place. The final work would take only a few hours and then…
Lena stopped. Her hand hovered inches above her work. All she had to do was make the connection, but something was stopping her, as if her own arm revelled against her. She tasted puke and alcohol in her mouth and she was crying, hot tears burning down her cheeks in razor lines.
(Lena please)
No more lies.
It was heavy in her hand, the alien device suspiciously heavy and cool to her touch. Why didn’t she just do it? She was here, key in hand, ready to open the door and she couldn’t do it. Why?
Gritting her teeth, Lena took it in both hands, staring at it.
This was good. This was right. Lena had given Kara everything. Everything! Her friendship, her support, her comfort, her secret council. She killed her own brother for her and what did she get in return? Lies! Deception!
(soft hugs and kind words and powerful arms shielding her from harm and strong hands… holding her)
It had all meant nothing. It was all a lie.
Right?
It was, wasn’t it? It was! It had to be, she needed it to be! If it wasn’t, if she was wrong, then she betrayed and tortured the only person who cared about her for what? For this fucking thing?
Lena held Myriad over her head. She hadn’t even been aware she’d raised it high, ready to smash it to the ground. Bringing it down, she stared at the device and saw a stranger’s face, a distorted visage of a pale, stress-thinned woman with red-rimmed eyes.
Oh God.
The watch! There was still time. It still had the coordinates.
Lena’s hand hovered over the watch. She could push the button and erase the only way she’d ever reach the fortress again, and it would be decided. She’d make it permanent, make it real. She could finalize the destruction of the most important relationship she’d ever had. Deny Kara. Give her up.
(leave her locked in a cage of agony)
Lena pressed the button.
The portal opened behind her with a gust of wind.
She stepped through.
The first thing that hit her was the cold. She didn’t think to put her coat back on.
The second thing was a right hook from Alex Danvers that sent Lena sprawling across the floor and Myriad spinning out of her grip.
“You bitch,” Alex snarled. “I knew it. I fucking knew it. I should have put a bullet in the back of your head the first time you set foot in my town.”
Alex stood over her, boiling with fury.
“I knew it was all a lie. I knew! I know what you did. You and your little lip bites and your flirty looks and your coffee dates. Was breaking my little sister’s heart part of the plan or just a sadistic bonus?”
For once in her life, Lena was truly speechless. She stared up at her attacker, absently touching the trickle of blood from her split lip.
“I didn’t, I wouldn’t,”
“You fucking did,” Alex hissed. “How dare you come back here? Didn’t you steal enough? Was the rest of the armory too much temptation for you?”
“I couldn’t leave her,” Lena choked out.
“Alex,” a harsh voice rasped, “that’s enough.”
Kara was on her feet, clutching her side. The Kryptonite had left her pale and pallid and hunched over a little, her normally bright eyes dull.
Lena pushed herself to her feet, wobbled, and started for Kara.
“Don’t you dare,” Alex stepped between them.
“I said that’s enough,” said Kara, pushing past her.
“I’m sorry,” Lena blurted. “Oh God, I’m sorry, Kara I…”
“Shhh,” Kara whispered. “It’s okay.”
Lena’s hands seemed to move on their own, palms cupping Kara’s cheeks. God, she was cold. She was shivering. Kara was shivering. She leaned into Lena’s grasp, falling against her.
“I’m sorry,” Lena whimpered.
“It’s okay,” Kara said, gathering Lena in her arms.
“The hell it is,” Alex cut in. “Jesus Christ, she robbed the Fortress of Solitude! She hurt you, Kara!”
“I hurt her first.”
“Kara, she’s right.”
Kara shook her head.
“You can’t just forgive her!” Alex almost screamed.
Kara looked at Alex, then at Lena.
“You’re forgetting. I’m Supergirl. I can do anything.”
The tears began to flow and Lena couldn’t stop them. She collapsed into Kara’s arms and sobbed, her body shaking with exertion.
Alex bent down and picked up Myriad.
“Give me that,” said Kara.
Alex looked at her quizzically, and placed the device in Kara’s hand.
She looked at it for a moment, then looked down at Lena.
“Do it,” Lena whispered.
Without the slightest appearance of effort, Kara closed her hand and the device exploded between her fingers, circuits and alien technology clattering to the floor.
“Let’s go home,” said Kara. “I think we need to talk.”
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lotus-pear · 3 months ago
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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derpycatsu · 2 years ago
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HELLOOOOOOO i got super into vocaloid (GIANT EXPLOSION)
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amphibianaday · 7 months ago
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day 1717
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cybervom1t · 7 months ago
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the bunny panties in question <333
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tommygotwrittenoff · 2 months ago
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bobby says to eddie one shift where buck is home sick with chris. going home to see your boys? eddie smiles and says. yeah. and your boys just Sticks in eddies brain and when he gets home he sees chris and buck curled up on the couch asleep and the sight makes him pause cuz. yeah. those are his boys
#dont get me wrong#im obsessed with buck referring to chris and eddie as his diaz boys but you know eddie would also love calling buck and chris his boys#so he just. calls them that all the time#at a 118 barbeque hes like. well i gotta go round up my boys its time for us to head out.#or buck and chris go to the zoo over the weekend and hes showing hen pics buck sent and shes like. looks like your boys had a good time#and hes like. yeah 😊😊 they did#hes on the phone with abuela and shes like. howre your boys doing??#and eddie is just 🥰🥰 theyre great#he gets home from a 48 he picked up to buck and chris about to sit down for dinner and eddie goes in for hugs (that chris dodges)#and hes just like. i missed my boys#he just loves his family so much. the thought of leaving his boys together makes him so happy because he loves chris and he loves buck#and he loves that they love each other and that they both love him. and so hes always just like. my boys are spending the day together 🥰🥰#hes the guy thats sooo in love with his family and everyone knows and its sooo sweet to the point that it makes people a little sick#a firefighter from b shift chats with him during a shift change and the guy walks away from the conversation being like. i know eddie has a#perfect little family that he loves so much but i didnt know it was like. That perfect and sweet. what a lucky guy. what a beautiful family#because the guy told him to thank buck for the cookies he baked and eddie was like yeah. my boys made a mess of the kitchen making those#and started talking bout chris and buck and how they team up against him and never let him taste the dough (but they eat spoonfuls)#ofc we know buck is prob always saying. gotta go see my diaz boys. or. im making lasagna for my diaz boys tonight#and eddies like. buck you know youre a diaz boy too#yeah. okay. but you and chris are MY diaz boys#me thinks
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freakyfreak01 · 1 month ago
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thought too hard about mac and dennis serving the role of each other's parents (mac is barbara in how he showers dennis with attention, dennis is luther in the way he keeps mac at an arm's length) and felt sick to my stomach
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agaymushroom · 1 year ago
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WHY CANT I WEAR DRESSES AND SKIRTS THE WAY MEN WEAR DRESSES AND SKIRTS!!! RAHHHHHHH WHEN THEY DO IT ITS ANDROGYNOUS, WHEN I DO IT I LOOK LIKE A CIS WOMAN!!!! AHHHGGGHHGHHHGG
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