#everyone has sm trauma

[amalgamateofficial]

Amalgamate Chapter 21 Previews :D

Hey y'all!! DoctorHaifisch here! Sorry the new chapter is taking so long T-T On top of all the convention stuff, plus the time it took to write the Amalgamate side story The Ones Who Don't Speak, the next chapter is also just really, really dense (as in, it contains a lot of material, not dense as in "stupid" lmao). I also ran into some issues where I liked the scenes, but not the order they all happened in, which turned into me playing some kinda weird Jenga game with the whole chapter. I'm making really good progress, I'm just doing A LOT of editing (and maybe being more of a perfectionist than usual since these are the final chapters)

But to give you all another taste of what's to come (very soon!), here are some snippets from chapter 21 (under the cut for those who prefer to avoid previews). Those of you who are on the Amalgamate Discord server will have already seen the first two, but the third one's new ^^

This first snippet is more lighthearted, since I figure after chapter 20, we could all use some humor ;_;

I will never get tired of "Kokichi is like a kitten" jokes. But this next preview makes me want to scream at Kaito to TAKE A DAMN BREAK, YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH MISTER!!!

And here's another preview, except this time, Maki's the one who needs a break. She's done enough too, but in her case, maybe it was too much :(((

These poor kids, oml. But I promise things are gonna get better! The whole goal of these final chapters is to get these kids back on their feet and feeling a helluva lot better. Hope is on the horizon, and the horizon's closer than ever <333

And since I'm getting closer to being done with this draft, I'll update you all more and more as I start closing in on the arrival day for chapter 21 :)))

[doctorwhommm]

got silly with this one ◡̈

[inamindfarfaraway]

I love how Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse said “Anyone can be Spider-Man”. I love how it inspired everyone to imagine their own Spider-People, saving the day in their own universes, with all kinds of cool, interesting personalities and aesthetics and mutations and life stories and relationships. We all put pieces of our soul into these homemade heroes. We had fun. We found community. And then Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse said, “Wow, great job! You’ve really taken our message to heart. Well, get ready for even more of everything you liked from the first movie and a new message to complement the first. Anyone can be Spider-Man… and anyone can be pulled into a cult.”

So now we all have to contemplate whether our lovingly crafted heroes would ever be on Team Mandatory Trauma Because Martyr Complex or not and why.

[mobblespsycho100]

kabru as a pwnpd headcanon is genuinely so iconic that man rlly is odysseus' hubristic tendencies made manifest tbh . . .

[selectivechaos]

wish it didn’t feel so vulnerable just to be myself. seeing my words. reading my own posts. hearing my body voice. hearing my aac voice. everything.

for anyone who feels embarrassment or shame for showing emotion, for being a person, for being themselves:

you’re okay. you’re not bad. you’re not wrong. you’re not embarrassing. it’s not normal to feel that way. and it’s not justified. shame comes from somewhere.

you just exist. and that’s okay. 🌹🌹

[laney-rockin]

Don't mind me, just imagining the main SNW crew (sans Spock) meeting a shit ton of Alternate Universe Kirk's and immediately showing interest in their universes Kirk because ofc.

AND THEN FINALLY SPOCK WOULD MEET KIRK- BUT INSTEAD OF IT BEING SOME FUCKED UP ALTERNATE VERSION OF KIRK IT'S JUST PLAIN OLD KIRK FROM IOWA. MEETING AS THE PAIR THEY'RE ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE.

... i'm totally not planning a fic about this concept. You're crazy /hj

[caruliaa]

yk i think like. im trying desperately not to depress people around me w how close to doomerism i can veer but like. at a certain point its like. the effort and exhaustion that goes into maintaining just being alive in this world is not worth what comes from being alive and like. girlies we may have reached it. el oh el.

[ghostwise]

👾!

We were sun-burned and shoeless kids It was the dead of July We were skippin' stones in the failing light I smelled the fire place Although we were miles away We were infinite There was no time in those days

When all we knew wasn't stolen There was nothing real to lose When our heads were still simple We'd sleep beneath the moon You were something That would always be around When regrets were nowhere to be found

Here's another Tamlen song 🥺 This one very much describes he and Hamal's childhood in Clan Sabrae and has such a nostalgic feeling to it, and a sense of loss (we were infinite, you were something that would always be around... but we all know how that goes.)

This song is very sweet with them in mind, even includes little nods to Hamal's childhood selective mutism, and the relative safety they experienced for a time, together.

Dirt in our ears, sun in our eyes Shirts hung in rags, head in the clouds Our fears had no teeth, hearts were still blind You barely talked and I didn't mind

One major event that's part of my headcanon for Clan Sabrae involves a violent incident when these two were young. In a sense, their childhood ended then, when they realized the dangers of the world and experienced them firsthand. (This is the attack mentioned in fsisap, where Mathuin loses their ears and Hamal and Tamlen try to fight off bandits; as Mathuin says, everyone was left with scars after that, both physical and emotional).

Following that, Tamlen became very hypervigilant and angry, and felt a need to become like something of a protector of his friends and family. Hamal became very depressed and lost, and it definitely precipitated his later suicide attempt.

Night, down by the shore We were down by the shore When the skies opened up And all the stars fell into the lake When the water was warm Walked in over my head But you pulled me out by the collar of my shirt

[lemonisnthere]

HELP

Weegie🥺🥹

Angry Birbs? Yeah.

Also Buster Moon cause I watched Sing 2 again

[disabilitymissunderstood]

Saw a video

of my brother Micheal, back in 2007 (or 8) 

before he died.  

And I just bawlled my eyes out for a good hour.

nothing hurts more then knowing your bestfriend will never come back.

[i-cant-sing]

My mind is just coming up with amazing ideas today. I guess that's what happens when u don't study for a week... (this is all happening my academic burnout sm)

I present to you- Yandere Dad Hawks x bird kid reader.

Look Dad Keigo was gonna be a doting father for any kid, biological or not, but there's just something about his bio kid who also HAS HIS QUIRK😭😭😭 Like he can't stop awing at the sight of his little baby bird having tiny tiny red wings like papa.

The ever loving, forever doting, always spoiling his baby, that's the kind of dad Keigo is. I mean, putting his own childhood trauma aside, he still wants you to have the best childhood ever. There are very few things he says no to (only coming second to Dad Dabi who only says no to things that will actively put you in danger. Want ice cream for breakfast? Okay. Want to go to 7/11 with grandpa Enji? Hell no.). Child reader wants an Endeavour hero figure? Of course, darling! Here, take one from daddy's collection 🥰🥰🥰 Dont wanna eat your peas? Sorry, doll. You're gonna have to finish your plate, even if you try to look adorably menacing by fluffing up your wings.

Oh and your wings😭 You know how Rei has a weird thing for your hair (and she definitely gives you a flea bath after you hang out with hawks)? Yeah that's how Keigo is with your wings- obsessed. He takes care of them, cleans them out and even has you sit for hours if that's how long it takes him to groom them. "Its no use swatting me, baby. I'm still not letting you move an inch until I'm done. So, just sit back and relax.🥰" keigo would say as he hands his phone to watch some shows.

I headcanon that Keigo's kid will be sassy and quick as him. The two can bicker for hours, and no ones really sure whether you're just that good at arguments or if Keigo just let's you win because he loves you so much.

I can also see Keigo and reader bonding over their mutual love for pro hero Endeavour (but in very different ways💀)

Dad Keigo adores spending time with you, especially now that you're put in a safehouse with only a handful people he let's you meet. A major part of his life is feeding you. Maybe it's the bird brain, maybe it's his childhood trauma, but Keigo has to cook meals for you and he has to watch you eat them. He's not sure, but it makes him be at peace knowing that you sleep with a tummy full and a warm bed.

I think as far as flying goes, Keigo tells you to only to do it under his supervision. You know how sometimes you forget how ti breathe and then making a concious effort to breathe makes it difficult to do so? That's what Keigo thinks happens. He thinks that if you fly alone, you might suddenly forget how flap your wings or maybe you get tired and then you're just crashing down to the ground. Unfortunately for his weak heart, you don't listen to him and fly as high as you can.

Would Keigo let you go to school? Initially, yes. But it only takes one incident, something even as harmless as a stupid prank call threatening his child (Dabi did the call), and that's enough for him to go hay wire and pull you out of school and move to a new safehouse, cut off from anyone and everyone. When he has to leave, he'd either drop you off at Enji's, OR have someone from the Hero Comminsion come and babysit you.

You can pout and cry and scream at him all you want, he's not changing his mind. You're his baby, his only light, only will to live, he can't risk your life.

His life would only become more complicated if either of you get a love interest. For you, the choices are: Katsuki, Tokoyami, Izuku. For him, the choices are: Dabi, your baby mama, Miruko.

[teojira]

(Planet of the apes) Please can you give me anything about Caesar like head cannons a fanfic anything please I am just in the mood for Caesar :(

[Assortment of Caesar headcanons]

Summary: Just random headcanons for Caesar x reader <3

Warnings: Monster/Human romance, angst, can't think of anything else!

A/N: Caesar my BELOVED, I hope these are okay anon! You didn't specify if you wanted romantic or platonic so I'll do a mix of both that you can read as either or! I love my man sm

Caesar is an old man at this point, he's tired. This being said, he is not above pinning you down and resting his entire fucking body weight on you.

You can struggle all you want, you cannot lift him up and you just have to sit there and let him do what he wants. And what he wants is to have 5 minutes of quiet with his favorite human, okay? Let him have this.

Caesar also takes it upon himself to help groom you, parting your hair, scratching at your scalp and checking you for anything, taking your face in his hands and twisting and turning your head every which way.

Very very huge worrier, he worries for you so much and it comes out as anger. He's not mad at you for doing what he seems stupid shit, he's mad because he's scared of you getting hurt and he can't fix it.

He usually won't leave you alone without at least one ape he trusts in the beginning, he's worried about another ape like Koba emerging, so for his sake, please stick around with Maurice.

Maurice loves you by the way, and so does Nova. Since you're immune to the sickness, you're able to freely interact with her, so whenever you're not with Caesar or Cornelius, you're with them.

Caesar watches you alot when you're not looking, especially when you're laughing and smiling with the young girl. It fills his heart with warmth, even more so when you include other apes in on your jokes.

Give him hugs, he'll never admit just how touch starved he is, the only apes he has physical affection with often were Cornelia, Blue eyes and Koba. He won't admit it that he misses it, but he gets a little huffy if you go on to hug Rocket and not him.

You make him feel younger, almost like how he used to be when he was with Will. Yes, he's a leader and he will always predominantly be the collected and righteous leader, but he has his little shit tendencies that come out when he's around you.

I don't care what anyone says, Caesar is asshole at his core, he's just repressed it because he's a leader. He's the kind of person to have a bug in his hand, and gesture for you to open your palm.

"Open your hand."

"...I don't trust you."

"You do trust me, now open."

And then you have a centipede in your hand and you screech and he just smirks and huffs out a laugh.

I've said it before but he is so overprotective, you will not leave the confines of the colony if he can help it.

He knows you're a grown adult, and that you are capable of holding your own but he doesn't care. He much rather have you here when he can keep an eye out for you.

That being said, he will go with you if you're insistent, he has to teach Cornelius how to hunt and fish anyways, so you come with. It's a family day trip:)

Caesar doesn't like guns, but he gives you a pistol, it's a huge sign of trust due to losing his wife and son by them, by being shot by them, and you know he's trusting you with his life.

Speaking of trauma, he littered with it. Sleep doesn't come as easy to him anymore, he's too anxious, to the point you're scared he'll have a heart attack.

The only way you've found that he'll relax enough to sleep is when you and Cornelius are by his side, his arms wrapped around the both of you.

He finds it hard to tell you about Cornelia, especially since you're both teetering on the verge of something more, he feels like he's betraying her, but you reassure him you'll wait for him as long as he needs. Never overstepping any boundary he has.

He loves you, truly he does, he didn't think he could continue on, even with getting everyone to relative safety, but you've always been there, loving not only him, but everyone else around you. He doesn't know what he'd do without you.

[kalki-tarot]

Unqiue details about the person on your mind.

This is a general reading and is not guaranteed to be 100% true.

Pick one emoji :)

🌿 🍂 🌻

Pile 01 🌿

They are someone who takes everything seriously, like they are an emotionally sensitive human being and they can't handle "jokes" that demean them or people who make fun of their insecurities.

They cry while watching sad romance movies. 😭

They don't like public attention, they can be an introverted person. Or they just like to keep their achievements to themselves. They don't like public eye because who knows someone may give you an evil eye. 🧿

As I've mentioned in the first point too, they are someone who gets hurt easily, they prefer to be inside their own shell as a mechanism to feel safe. People may have hurted this person a lot with words.

They may have a cold exterior but are definitely very cool on the inside.

They are filled with surprises, evertime you talk to them, you'll find a new thing about them.

They like philosophy, self help, psychology books. They self reflect a lot.

They are a keen observer of people and situations. They have great analytical skills. They know who's bs-ing with whom.

They come from a family/background where they have been emotionally neglected a lot. They don't have a "safe place". They try to understand and validate themselves through reading psychology and self help books.

No matter what, this person is someone very resilient and secure of who they are now.

They are a great humanitarian and they do charity work or they just help people around them financially or emotionally.

They are looking for their soulmate or partner with whom they can share a deep and secure connection with. They are looking for someone long term and are not interested in hook ups etc.

They are very giving in nature and do for others more than for themselves.

Pile 02 🍂

This person likes babies.

They also like slow music and folk music too. They may like listening to Kailash Kher so much.

Their favorite bird is Koyal, idk what you call it in English you can search it online.

They are a traditional person, they value their family and sanskaars.

This person may work with children, can be a pediatrician, child specialist, nanny, caretaker, nursery teacher etc.

This person is a little dramatic, it's like everyone likes them they don't care, but if that one person does not like them, they go mad.

Sorry to say this, but they are a little ungrateful about life.

This person also stays in their mind a lot, they may overthink and create fake scenarios. They can be addicted to being sad ?

They have this tendency to stay stuck in the past, they fear new things, places, people etc. It's hard for to get outside of their comfort zone.

They believe in true love, soulmates etc. And hope to find their own.

It's easy for them to get bored though.

Their past hasn't been the best, they still can't get over their fears and traumas :(

Pile 03 🌻

They like listening to hip hop songs especially the 2000s ones.

This person has a tendency to run away when they feel like things won't go their way.

They may suffer from anxiety or intrusive thoughts.

They may have drinking issues / alcohol abuse is what i see, they get aggressive after drinking.

They may have gambling addictions too.

This person is working hard to overcome these dark obsessions and addictions.

Their father figure had some problems (can be abusive) hence they and their mother suffered a lot in their childhood. Their addictions stem from here.

They may not really like talking about their past sm, it hurts them.

Surprisingly, the song "chupke chupke raat din" is playing and it translates into smth like "I remember crying silently/while hiding."

Very heavy past traumas and issues.

They may show everyone this cool and calm demeanor but from inside they are literally hurting and fighting with themselves. Omg, i feel so sad for this person :(

They may like listening to ghazals a lot.

Bangladesh & Nepal is significant.

They have seen relationships break and turn out worse in their childhood so now they run away or fear commitments and marriage.

Or it can also be that the person they once loved feared marriage or commitment and it made them fall deeper into addictions.

They see marriage as a cage.

This person has emotionally given up on a lot of things in life like career, emotions etc.

They neglect themselves sometimes.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

not even joking fanon sirius doesnt even make me mad anymore (that's reserved for everyone else fanon <3) but he just makes me........... so sad.......... like bro is in a straight up abusive relationship with the man he idolizes more than anything. and he is IN this abusive relationship because of his HORRIFIC home life in which his parents use illegal torture methods on him weekly/daily and he severely lacks any healthy relationships around him, he also never gets any praise (because he's stupid&horrible&bad at everything) meaning he's just going around begging for validation and love? and it's just a joke? like he is literally willing to hurt himself like omg by bby??

(that one incorrect quote where remus kisses sirius' hand because he gets a papercut and sirius asks james to punch him in the face. how is that funny. i literally was so sad. wtf guys.)

and like he gets into this rsp after going through a TON of homophobia and hes like constantly made fun of because he happens to love his bf (who HATES him). everyone (namely his brother: well talk abt him dw) is like "you can do sm better than sirius lmao" and remus is like "yeah lol" like blatantly in front of sirius and sirius is sad and its a funny haha joke like GUYS ITS HORRIBLE

and like !!!! he has no support system!!! he has no friends !!!!! no one loves him !!!!!!! fuck love no one even likes him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hes constantly patronized and talked down to by everyone. his hobbies are taken over (pranks: remus remus remus, bikes: i dont actually know but ive seen a couple "remus on sirius' bike 💞" and sirius freaking out when like bfr guys) . his best friend. his BEST FRIEND. goes BEHIND HIS BACK. TO DATE. HIS NAZI YOUNGER BROTHER.

THE NAZI YOUNGER BROTHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOM HE WAS CONSTANTLY COMPARED TO AND DEEMED LESS WORTHY HIS ENTIRE LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO HE WA SALWAS THE SECOND OPTION TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hes their parents favored son AND his bfs favored brother and now his BEST FRIENDS favored too???????? go away. fuck you.

and like . his younger brother whom sirius CONSTANTLY TOOK BEATINGS FOR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH NO REGARD FOR HIS OWN SAFETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nad everyones like lmfao why is he overreacting ths is why no one loves him lets ignore him 💀💀💀

and like his brother btw tf like he s always th emartyr nd sirius is indebted to him bc its only because of regulus apparentl y that siriu s was able to escape like gsgnlksfskl

and the PRNAK!!!!!!!!!! omg sirius is like gone in ths universe ok theres no way it wasnt n accident he told snape that and then remus HATES HIM for MONTHS?????? kys he tried so hard

dont even get me on post azkaban "im sorry remus ☹️" "my brothers a hero 🥺"

ugh i cant even word thngs anymore. but like have these these made me REALLY sad.

im in tears. i cant believe you fucks took everything away from sirius and then left him w his trauma. and the fact that this isn t evn a fraction of whats going on, like ffuck you all

[baby-tini]

Eee I was thinking about trauma bonding Dabi. How he manipulates you into thinking you're nothing without him/are fully dependent on him!

(Foaming at the mouth, I love ur writting btw 🩷)

Thank you sm baby~

TW- Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Trauma-Bonding, Manipulation, Controlling Behavior

A toxic, trauma-bound relationship with Dabi is pretty unavoidable with Dabi, in all honesty. He has a lot of baggage because of his trauma, so he doesn't handle things.. normally. He doesn't talk about his problems, he doesn't communicate, he has.. no healthy behaviors really. So it's not a huge surprise when the relationship goes down-hill, very quickly. Now, it's not a slow-burn, it's actually pretty quick and obvious. At the start of relationship, he'd just.. up and leave, just disappear for days sometimes weeks on end. It's an ugly cycle of up and down, sometimes he's all over you. Kissing you, wanting too have sex for hours on end... and other times, he's just the absolute worst. There's loud screaming and arguing, with him getting in your face, his blue eyes glowing along with the azul flames itching at the skin on his palms. His eyes are narrowed as he spits out mean words through gritted teeth- and he's so mean to you when this happens. But.. it's not all the time, he can be so sweet sometimes, so doting with you, sometimes he takes great care of you, and that's where the ugly cycle of co-dependancy starts. He knows though, with the way you cling to him all the time, even after one of your many, many intense arguments with him. There's tears in your eyes as you cling to him, with the pleas of not wanting him too leave, that you hate when he leaves you, and he's fucking thriving on this little high that your co-dependancy gives him. Now, he has yet too actually hit you, but he gets pretty damn close and he'll do other abusive things. Like when he grabs you by the throat when you attempt too yell at him, or when he holds your jaw in a tight grip as he shakes your head. Getting in your face and using the tight grip that his hand has on your jaw, forcing you too nod for him as he just spews out question after question, rhetorical of course, but your tiny little brain can't comprehend his infamous sarcasm. The co-dependency gets so bad to the point where you can't do anything without him, he's in charge of everything you do and you lose all your sense of independence. He rarely lets you out of the house, and when he does, he talks for you. He doesn't let you speak to anyone- especially see anyone, and that's when your social skills start too grow poor, and he'll feed you information, mostly over-exaggerated, about the ugliness of the world. So, naturally, you start too grow weary of everyone and everything, even having full on break-downs when he's not around. He needs you too understand that you are nothing without him and the sooner you figure that out, the less harsher he'll be with you.

[caruliaa]

why is everything abt the tickets situation making me feel so shit. im not even an american