#everyone for this bill wants to be even richer

[gyorouis]

── ✦ the boy next door.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⋆ synopsis⸝⸝ the guy next door, he seems cute. and oh, he has a dog.

꒰ genre⸝⸝ fluff!! FLUFF, angst if you squint, but anyway lovey-dovey bcs soobin is so boyfriend and i miss soobin sm pairing⸝⸝ boy next door!soobin x afab!reader wc⸝⸝ 5.3k warning⸝⸝ none (lmk if i forgot any!) tune in⸝⸝ sixspence none the richer — kiss me ୨ৎ ꒱

you’ve been living in this apartment complex for what feels like forever now, or at least long enough to memorize the creaky spots in the hallway and which neighbors prefer late-night TV at full volume. it’s not that you're shy, but you’ve never been great at the whole “friendly neighbor” thing either. while others seem to naturally strike up conversations about the weather or the latest neighborhood gossip, you’re more of a smile-and-nod kind of person. friendly enough, but not exactly handing out invitations for coffee.

every morning, you take your usual jog around the complex. it’s become a routine, something to clear your mind before another long day of work. you pass by mrs. kim from the third floor, who always seems to be engaged in an animated conversation with mr. park from the second floor. they wave at you, and you offer a polite nod in return, as always. everyone here seems to know each other, chatting away as if they’ve lived in this building their entire lives.

you? not so much. you’ve always found socializing a bit… draining. especially since your job involves talking to people all day long. by the time you get home, the last thing you want is to have yet another conversation.

it’s a sunday morning, and instead of your usual jog, you’re busy cleaning your apartment. your balcony door is open, letting in the fresh air as you sweep the floor. as you pause to stretch, you notice a moving truck pulling up outside. new tenants, you think to yourself. the unit next to yours has been empty for about a month, ever since the previous owner moved out. you glance down at the truck, spotting a few movers carrying boxes and furniture into the building.

“well, good luck,” you mumble to yourself, knowing how thin the walls can be.

you continue with your cleaning, pushing the thought of the new tenant aside. after all, it’s not like you’re going to be inviting them over for tea anytime soon.

in the days following, you caught glimpses of the new tenant, though never quite enough to get a clear picture of them. once, while heading out for your morning jog, you heard the door to the next unit creak open just as you were locking your own. instinctively, you turned your head, but by the time you glanced down the hallway, the door had already closed. you could hear faint footsteps receding, but whoever they were, they were gone before you even had the chance to see them.

it became a pattern—just when you thought you might catch a glimpse of this mystery neighbor, something would intervene. you’d hear a door slam shut just as you were about to turn the corner. you’d see shadows under the door when you were in the hallway, but no one ever stepped out. it was like the universe was conspiring to keep you from meeting them.

you told yourself it didn’t matter. after all, you weren’t the type to strike up a conversation with strangers anyway. still, you couldn’t help the growing curiosity. who was this person? what kind of neighbor were they? and, more importantly, why did it feel like they were always just out of reach?

one particularly frustrating moment happened when you were in the mailroom, sorting through the usual stack of bills and junk mail. out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone approach the door, a tall figure with dark hair. for a split second, you thought this might finally be the moment you’d meet your elusive neighbor. but just as the door began to swing open, your phone rang loudly in your pocket, startling you enough that you dropped your mail all over the floor.

by the time you scrambled to pick it up, the person was gone. the door clicked shut, leaving you alone in the mailroom once again.

“seriously?” you muttered under your breath, shoving the crumpled letters back into your bag. it was becoming a running joke in your head now—the universe seemed determined to keep the two of you apart.

later that week, you were returning from work, exhausted after a particularly draining day of meetings and presentations. your only goal was to collapse onto your couch and binge-watch something mindless. as you stepped off the elevator, you saw a large package leaning against the door to the unit next to yours. it was addressed to a “choi soobin,” which you assumed was your new neighbor. your curiosity spiked again. soobin—the name didn’t ring any bells, but it didn’t matter. you’d probably never get the chance to talk to them anyway.

as you fumbled with your keys at your own door, you heard something—a faint shuffling from inside the next unit. you paused, glancing sideways at the door. was this finally your moment? you listened closely, heart pounding a little for reasons you couldn’t explain. but, like every other time before, nothing happened. no door opened, no introductions were made.

you sighed and went inside, trying to shake off the strange sense of disappointment.

then, that evening, something broke the quiet routine.

you were sprawled on the couch, remote in hand, flipping through channels without much interest when a sound made you sit up. it was faint at first—a soft barking, coming from the apartment next door. your eyes darted toward the wall, as if you could somehow see through it. a dog? you hadn’t heard a single sound from that unit since the mysterious soobin had moved in. now, all of a sudden, there was a dog?

“must be the new neighbor,” you muttered to yourself, sinking back into the cushions.

the barking stopped, and you assumed that was the end of it. but then, barely a minute later, there was a knock at your door. you blinked, glancing at the clock. it was late—who could be knocking at this hour?

you dragged yourself off the couch, padding over to the door and pulling it open. standing there, looking slightly frazzled, was a guy. he had dark hair, a hoodie pulled over his head, and in one hand, he held a leash attached to an overly excited golden retriever that was wagging its tail so fast it was practically vibrating.

“uh, hi,” he said, offering a sheepish smile. “sorry to bother you, but i’m your new neighbor. i think my dog’s ball ended up on your balcony. mind if i grab it?”

you blinked, momentarily thrown off by the sight of him. soobin, you realized, putting the pieces together. this was the elusive neighbor who had been slipping in and out of your life for the past week. and now, here he was, standing at your door with an overexcited dog.

“oh,” you said, snapping out of your daze. “yeah, sure. give me a second.”

you stepped out onto your balcony and quickly spotted the bright yellow ball wedged against the railing. as you bent down to pick it up, you heard soobin talking to his dog in a low voice.

“buddy, sit. come on, man, be cool for like five seconds.”

you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as you walked back inside, holding the ball out to him. “here you go.”

soobin beamed, taking the ball from you. “thanks. i’m soobin, by the way. and this troublemaker is buddy.”

buddy barked in response, his tail wagging even faster—if that was possible.

“i’m y/n,” you replied, offering a small smile. “welcome to the building.”

soobin shifted awkwardly, as if unsure whether to continue the conversation or let you return to your evening. “uh, thanks. sorry again for the interruption. we’re still getting used to the place, and buddy here is still adjusting.”

“no problem,” you said, your voice soft. despite the late hour and the unexpected visit, you found yourself oddly relaxed in his presence. there was something about his easy-going nature, the way he seemed just as out of place as you often felt.

“well, i should let you get back to your night,” he said, giving buddy’s leash a gentle tug. “thanks again for the ball.”

“anytime,” you replied, watching as he headed back down the hallway, buddy bouncing along beside him.

as you closed the door, a small smile crept onto your face. you hadn’t understood the strange anticipation you’d felt before meeting your new neighbor, but after this little incident, you were starting to get an idea why.

as you leaned back against the door, you found yourself replaying the brief interaction in your head. soobin seemed... different. maybe it was the casual way he introduced himself or the way he was clearly flustered by his dog’s antics, but something about him had left an impression on you. you tried to brush it off—after all, it was just a simple neighborly encounter. nothing more.

you sank back onto the couch, but the quiet of your apartment felt louder now, like the presence of the new neighbor had shifted something in the air. you absentmindedly reached for the remote but hesitated before pressing play. instead, your mind wandered back to soobin’s awkward grin, the way buddy’s tail wagged enthusiastically, and the light laughter that almost escaped your lips as soobin tried to calm the excitable dog.

“why am i thinking about this?” you muttered, shaking your head with a smirk.

over the next few days, it seemed like fate kept you and soobin on the verge of crossing paths, only for something to always get in the way. every time you left for your morning jog, you'd hear his apartment door creak open as if he was leaving too. but by the time you reached the bottom of the stairs, there’d be no sign of him or buddy. you’d glance back, wondering if maybe you'd imagined hearing it. or when you returned home in the evening, you'd see buddy’s leash hanging on the door handle, a clear sign they were out for a walk, yet you'd just missed them.

it was like the universe was toying with the idea of introducing you both properly, but not quite ready to make it happen. part of you found it amusing—the almost-encounters, the little signs of his presence—but another part of you grew more curious with each near-miss.

one evening, as you sat on your balcony with a cup of tea, a cool breeze ruffling the pages of the book you weren’t really reading, you heard it again—the faint sound of a dog barking next door. instinctively, you leaned over the railing, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. and there he was, standing on his own balcony with buddy at his feet, looking up at the sky like he was deep in thought.

for a moment, you considered saying something, maybe making a casual comment about the weather or how quiet the building usually was. but just as you opened your mouth, buddy let out an excited bark, causing soobin to laugh and look down at his dog.

“not now, buddy, i'm trying to enjoy the sunset,” he chuckled, giving the golden retriever a playful pat on the head.

you quickly leaned back before he could notice you watching, heart racing a little too fast for your liking. why did it feel like you were in high school again, trying to avoid being caught staring at the cute guy in class?

the next day, you were in the hallway, heading out for work, when you heard hurried footsteps behind you. you turned just in time to see soobin, earbuds in, walking briskly with buddy trotting beside him. for a second, you both locked eyes, and soobin gave you a quick wave, almost stumbling over buddy’s leash in the process.

“oh—uh, hey!” he called out, a little breathless as he caught up to you. “sorry, i didn’t see you there.”

you smiled, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “no worries. looks like you two are in a hurry.”

he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah, we’re running late for our morning walk. buddy takes it very seriously.” buddy barked as if agreeing, his tail wagging eagerly.

“i’ve noticed,” you replied with a small laugh. “he seems like quite the handful.”

“you have no idea,” soobin said, shaking his head with a grin. “it’s like living with a toddler.”

there was a brief pause, just long enough for the moment to stretch into something a little more comfortable, a little more familiar. you weren’t sure what it was, but the awkwardness from your first meeting had melted away, replaced by something easier, like you’d known each other longer than a few days.

“well, i’ll let you get to work before i make us both late,” soobin said, glancing at his watch before giving you a quick nod. “but, uh, maybe we’ll bump into each other more often.”

“maybe,” you replied, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered at his words. “have a good walk.”

as you walked away, you couldn’t help but smile, the warmth of his casual words lingering in your mind. sure, it had been brief, but something told you that this wasn’t the last time you’d be talking to soobin.

the next few weeks passed with more casual interactions, little moments that didn’t feel like much on the surface but somehow started to carve a space for soobin in your routine. the mysterious air surrounding him had slowly faded away, revealing a guy who was surprisingly easy to talk to—at least, when your paths finally crossed.

like that time in the elevator, when you both happened to be leaving the building at the same time. you’d awkwardly shuffled inside, glancing at the buttons only to realize you were both heading to the ground floor. soobin had offered a lopsided smile as buddy sat obediently at his side, his tail thumping against the floor of the small space.

“morning,” he greeted, rubbing his eyes sleepily, the hoodie he wore wrinkled like he’d just rolled out of bed.

“morning,” you replied, chuckling lightly at his tired expression. “late night?”

“buddy doesn’t understand the concept of sleep,” he said, laughing softly. “he decided at 2 a.m. that the middle of the night was the perfect time to chase his tail.”

you smiled, leaning against the cool wall of the elevator. “sounds exhausting.”

“you have no idea,” he groaned, glancing down at buddy. “but i wouldn’t trade him for anything. what about you? late night or early start?”

“early start,” you replied. “work keeps me on a pretty tight schedule.”

“right, you mentioned that you’re always busy,” soobin said thoughtfully, as if he was genuinely interested. “what do you do again?”

you hesitated for a second, not because you didn’t want to tell him, but because explaining your job always felt like you were opening a door to questions you weren’t sure you had the energy to answer. “i work in marketing. lots of meetings, lots of socializing.”

“sounds... exhausting,” he echoed your earlier comment, giving you a knowing grin. “no wonder you don’t join the neighborhood chat.”

you let out a soft laugh. “yeah, i’m not great at small talk.”

“same,” he said with a shrug. “i mean, i like people, but there’s something about forced conversation that makes my brain just... shut down.”

the elevator doors slid open, and you both stepped out, walking side by side toward the entrance. buddy trotted ahead, sniffing everything in his path.

“i get that,” you said. “there’s always this pressure to say the right thing, to fill every silence.”

“exactly!” soobin said, his eyes lighting up. “but sometimes, silence is comfortable, you know? like right now, we’re not talking every second, but it doesn’t feel awkward.”

you blinked at his words, realizing he was right. the quiet that settled between you wasn’t heavy or uncomfortable—it was easy, like you didn’t have to force anything. it felt... natural.

“yeah,” you agreed, glancing over at him. “it’s nice.”

he smiled, and for a moment, there was a flicker of something in the air, something you couldn’t quite place but also couldn’t ignore. but before you could dwell on it, buddy barked, pulling soobin’s attention back to his overexcited dog.

“looks like someone’s ready for his walk,” soobin said with a chuckle. “i’ll see you around?”

“definitely,” you said, waving as you headed in opposite directions.

and so it continued—a series of brief moments. sometimes it was in the hallway, when you both reached for your mailboxes at the same time. other times, it was in the parking lot, when buddy would tug soobin’s arm just as you were pulling out of your spot, prompting an exaggerated apology from soobin and a wave from you, which had gradually turned into shared grins over time.

but despite the ease of these small interactions, there was still a slow, steady burn building between the two of you. neither of you rushed it—there was no sudden moment of revelation, no dramatic confession. instead, it was the little things that started to draw you closer.

like the day you came home late from work, exhausted and hungry, only to find that your fridge was depressingly empty. you were about to resign yourself to a bowl of instant ramen when a knock came at your door. when you opened it, there was soobin, holding a takeout bag in one hand and a sheepish grin on his face.

“i ordered way too much food,” he said, looking down at the containers like they’d betrayed him. “and buddy is refusing to eat anything that doesn’t come from his dog bowl, so... thought i’d see if you wanted some?”

you blinked, staring at the food and then back at him. “you’re offering me leftovers?”

he scratched the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. “well, when you put it like that...”

you laughed, stepping aside to let him in. “i’m kidding. i was actually about to have instant ramen, so this is a serious upgrade.”

“wow, really? i guess my timing is perfect,” he said, setting the food on your kitchen counter. buddy bounded in after him, sniffing around curiously before settling by soobin’s feet.

the two of you sat down to eat, and conversation flowed naturally. soobin told you about his work—he was a freelance artist, which explained his flexible hours and the occasional paint smudges on his hands. you talked about your own job, surprised at how easy it was to open up to him. the hours slipped by, the conversation shifting from work to hobbies to random stories about your lives.

“you know,” soobin said at one point, pushing his empty plate aside, “i’m glad we finally hung out like this. i always see you around, but i didn’t want to be that weird neighbor who tries too hard.”

you laughed, shaking your head. “i think you’re safe. besides, if anyone’s weird, it’s me. i’ve been here for ages and haven’t made a single friend.”

he raised an eyebrow. “well, you’ve got one now.”

you looked at him, and there was something in the warmth of his gaze that made your heart skip a beat. “yeah,” you said softly. “i guess i do.”

over time, the encounters became more intentional. you’d text each other when you were free, ever since he asked for your number during one night that was actually a terrible way of asking someone for their digits. he’d tripped over his own feet while trying to make a quick exit from your apartment, and as he stumbled, he blurted out, “hey, can I get your number? for dog emergencies!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “dog emergencies?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“you know, buddy might need a playdate or... or a treat,” he fumbled, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “or if i accidentally steal your trash...”

“okay, that sounds like a solid reason,” you replied, trying to suppress your grin as you wrote down your number on a sticky note and handed it to him. “but it’s not like he’s going to call me.”

“you never know!” soobin joked, glancing at the note before slipping it into his pocket with a satisfied grin.

the days that followed were filled with little surprises. you’d receive random texts from him, often accompanied by pictures of buddy in various ridiculous poses—like the time he’d managed to get his head stuck in a cereal box, or when he was sprawled out on the floor, tongue out, looking utterly defeated after a long walk. each message came with a lighthearted caption that made you chuckle.

“buddy found the ultimate hiding spot. no one will ever find him!” one message read, the accompanying picture showing the golden retriever wedged between the couch and the wall, his big brown eyes peeking out like he was plotting a secret escape.

you found yourself looking forward to these texts, each one brightening your day a little more than the last. sometimes you’d respond with your own pictures—like a candid shot of you attempting to bake cookies (which ended with a flour explosion in your kitchen) or a video of your cat giving you the cold shoulder after you accidentally stepped on his tail.

then there were the instagram reels. soobin would send you random clips that were almost always about dog humor—like the one of a dog desperately trying to catch its tail but only succeeding in tripping over itself. “this is buddy every morning,” he captioned, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you imagined his dog bouncing around in a similar fashion.

“what’s with all the dog content?” you texted back one afternoon, grinning at your phone screen.

“dogs are life,” he replied instantly. “and buddy is basically my child. wouldn’t you want to see every moment of his existence?”

“fair point,” you typed back, shaking your head at how seriously he took his role as a dog dad. “just don’t expect me to babysit anytime soon.”

“how about we do a double date?” he proposed jokingly. “you, me, and buddy? i’ll provide the treats, you bring the toys.”

“sounds like a plan,” you responded, a small thrill coursing through you at the thought. “but if buddy eats my favorite toy, we’re going to have a problem.”

the banter continued, each conversation layered with a comfortable rhythm that felt natural. there was something about the way he interacted with you that made it easy to let your guard down. and in those moments, you found yourself looking forward to the next time you’d see him—no longer just as the mysterious neighbor but as someone who was becoming an integral part of your life.

the following weekend, you both decided to meet for coffee at a local café. it was your first official hangout outside the confines of your apartment, and excitement bubbled in your chest as you walked into the shop. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped you, and you scanned the room for soobin.

he was already there, perched at a small table in the corner, a steaming cup in front of him and buddy lying at his feet, looking adorably patient. as soon as he saw you, he waved enthusiastically, his smile brightening the cozy atmosphere.

“hey! over here!” he called, standing up as you approached. “i hope you like this place. buddy does, which is basically my criteria for any establishment.”

you chuckled as you took a seat across from him. “so, what does buddy think? is this place up to snuff?”

“he’s giving it a solid four paws,” he replied, glancing down at buddy, who was wagging his tail, clearly enjoying the vibe of the café. “though he’s more interested in the snacks they give out than the coffee.”

“priorities,” you said, laughing as you imagined buddy’s enthusiasm. “i can relate.”

the conversation flowed effortlessly as you sipped your drinks, discussing everything from your favorite books to the best dog parks in the city. soobin shared stories about buddy’s antics, and you found yourself hanging onto every word, amused by the way he animatedly described each little adventure.

“one time, he decided he wanted to chase a squirrel,” soobin said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “and in his eagerness, he leaped right into a fountain! it was like something out of a cartoon—he came out soaked and just sat there, looking utterly betrayed.”

you burst into laughter, picturing the scene. “did he recover? i can’t imagine he’d take that lightly.”

“he was fine, but he gave me the dirtiest look afterward,” soobin said, mimicking buddy’s disgruntled expression, which only made you laugh harder.

as you both shared stories and laughter, the connection between you deepened. it was a slow burn, building gradually, like the gentle warmth of a fire that had just begun to flicker to life. you found yourself stealing glances at soobin, his smile infectious, his passion for his dog evident in every word. and when your eyes met, there was a spark—something unspoken yet palpable that lingered in the air.

by the time you finished your coffees, you felt a sense of ease, as if you’d known him for much longer than just a few weeks. the way he looked at you, his eyes twinkling with warmth and sincerity, made your heart flutter in a way you hadn’t expected.

“we should do this more often,” soobin said, packing up his things as buddy nuzzled his leg, eager to get moving.

“definitely,” you agreed, feeling a grin spread across your face. “i’ll bring the treats next time.”

“and i’ll bring the chaos,” he promised, a playful glint in his eyes.

you both stood to leave, and as you walked side by side, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning.

one morning, with the scent of freshly baked cookies wafting through your apartment, you felt a rush of excitement. you’d decided to surprise soobin with a batch of chocolate chip cookies and some homemade dog treats for buddy. you could picture the delighted look on his face, the way his eyes would light up when he tasted your baking.

clutching the container tightly, you made your way to his door, heart racing at the thought of sharing something so personal. but as you lifted your hand to knock, the door swung open unexpectedly.

standing there was a woman you didn’t recognize. she had a bright smile and an air of casual confidence as she walked right past you without so much as a word. confusion flitted through your mind as you watched her, but then your gaze shifted to soobin, who stood in the doorway looking equally surprised to see you.

“oh, hey! i didn’t expect you this morning,” he said, his tone cheerful but slightly bewildered.

you felt heat rush to your cheeks, embarrassment flooding over you as you awkwardly held out the container. “i, uh, brought you some cookies and treats for buddy,” you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady.

before he could respond, the woman walked back through the doorway, completely ignoring the interaction. your heart sank as realization hit you. the closeness of their familiarity sent a pang of insecurity through you. were they together? the thought made you feel nauseous.

“oh, um, i should go,” you muttered, the words escaping your lips before you could process them. you turned on your heel and hurried back to your unit, locking the door behind you as if that would shield you from the embarrassment.

for days afterward, you tried to avoid soobin. you found yourself deliberately taking a longer route to the elevator to avoid running into him in the hall. it was ridiculous, really; how could you be catching feelings for a guy who might already have a girlfriend? you felt grossed out by yourself, convinced that your infatuation was misguided.

despite your efforts to create distance, the texts kept coming. soobin sent you updates about buddy, silly memes, and cute dog reels that made you smile despite yourself. but with every message, your heart ached, and you felt more confused.

one afternoon, as you sat on your couch, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, you felt a mix of confusion and longing. soobin’s texts had become a lifeline, his silly memes and dog videos bringing unexpected joy amid your self-imposed isolation. but every time your phone buzzed with a message from him, a pang of guilt twisted in your stomach, reminding you of the distance you were trying to maintain.

when you heard a knock at your door, your heart raced. you knew it was soobin, and the thought of facing him made you want to disappear. after a moment of hesitation, you reluctantly opened the door, finding him standing there, his brow furrowed in concern.

“hey, can we talk?” he asked, his voice soft yet urgent. “i’ve noticed you’ve been... avoiding me. did i do something wrong?”

the sincerity in his eyes sent your heart racing, but the weight of your feelings and the embarrassment of the situation crashed over you. you hesitated, caught between wanting to explain and the fear of being vulnerable. before you could stop yourself, your tongue slipped. “i can't keep talking to you; you have a girlfriend, that's just weird,” you blurted out, the words tumbling out with a mix of frustration and mortification.

soobin’s expression shifted from confusion to surprise, his brows furrowing deeper. “what? no, i don’t have a girlfriend,” he replied, his voice steady but laced with disbelief.

“but—” you stammered, flustered. “i saw a girl come out of your apartment the other day. she seemed... close to you.”

“that was my sister!” he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. “she just moved in for the summer. we were just hanging out.”

the realization hit you like a wave, crashing against the dam of your confusion. “oh,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “i... didn’t know.”

you both stood there for a moment, the air thick with unspoken feelings and awkwardness, before it cracked, and you burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation. it felt like a weight had lifted off your shoulders.

“so what now?” you asked, recovering from the laugh, your heart racing as you met his gaze.

he smiled, the warmth in his eyes making your stomach flutter. without breaking eye contact, he reached out and gently grabbed your pinky with his big hand. you raised your eyebrows, intrigued. “are we on the same page?” he asked, his voice low and inviting.

you felt your cheeks heat up as you whispered, “i think so...”

his smile grew bigger, a mix of relief and excitement, and he fully enveloped your small hand with his larger one, sending butterflies racing through your chest.

“where are you taking me?” you asked, following him as he started to pull you out of your unit, excitement bubbling within you.

“i’m going to introduce you to my sister,” he said, a teasing look dancing in his eyes.

“soobin!” you exclaimed, playfully hitting his arm, laughter spilling out. the warmth of your connection felt electric, each shared laugh building a bridge between you that you never knew was missing in your life.

gyo's note: OMG YES boy next door soobin alsjdhsdhsh, i’m changing the posting schedule to every friday (bcs i have a vv shitty schedule for mg rle and lecture and HOPEFULLY i could finish alumni homecoming kai asap (yes pray for my writer's blocked braincells) if you made it to this part, thank you so much! you will be loved. xoxo!

✮ 2024 gyozies, all rights reserved.

[zweetpea]

Mrs. “Wayne”

Content warning: Swears, Arranged Marriage, talks of having an heir, Mentions of Bruce’s Affairs, Nightwing x Starfire mentioned

Based on this since no one else has done it (or at least not that I've seen...)

BTW guys if you want to write something based off something I write I ask that you tag me in it. (Unless it's like a broad thing... like if you see my post about Bruce bringing home a girl that he met and married that day then write a fic around that idea I ask that you credit me, but if you see my Yandere Bruce x reader and decide to make a "baby fever! Bruce x reader" that's more general so I don't think it would be fair of me to ask for credit.)

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"Honey I know you're angry with us but it's what’s best for you. He's the richest man in the country." Your mother fixed your veil.

"He's a whore. And what's worse is that he doesn't even consider how it even affects his kids. I just picks up orphans off the street like they're lucky pennies or a 20 dollar bill for him." You grimaced.

"You know what a..." She sounded appalled. "20 dollar bill is? Oh how I've failed you as a mother."

"Don't be so dramatic." You rolled your eyes.

"Are you ready to go?" Your father entered into the private room. "You look beautiful Princess."

"Thanks dad."

"Come on." He grabbed your hand as you grabbed the bouquet. You wrapped your arm around his as you two walked down the isle to your soon-to-be husband, Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.

You looked down through the entire ceremony, up until the Vows. Brucie's were short and sweet. "We may not know each other too well but I swear to be loyal, thoughtful, and truthful through our entire marriage." At which you heard a faint snort from the front row. You slightly glance over and see a young man a few years younger than you trying to hold laughter, his white streak bobbing as he shook with laughter. Brucie's glaring at him.

You turned back to your inevitable spouse and said your vows. "I promise to stand by your side in all your endeavors, even if that means adopting 10 more orphans you pick up from the streets like they were stray cats." You said in a monotonous voice.

You two finish off the ceremony with the standard ceremonial officiator speach.

"Do you Bruce Wayne take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do."

He turns to me. "Do you-"

"I do." You cut him off. Surprising everyone with how forward that was. Some whispers were heard amongst the crowd, undoubtedly calling you a gold digger for being so eager to get this ceremony over with.

"Well at least she's eager! That's almost gotta ensure this marriage lasts right?" The officiator jokes to ease the tension. "If anyone objects to this marriage please speak now or forever hold your peace." The same young man who was laughing held up his hand but it was pushed down by a man about your age sitting next to him. "Then you may now kiss the bride."

You and your new husband shared a chaste kiss before you ran down the isle and out to the limo. And after a short drive you made it to the spot where you were scheduled to take your wedding photos and have the reception.

The reception was void of life, stuffy, like all those galas your parents forced you to attend. Hopefully this didn't end up like one of the incidents of Brucie flirting with milfs, sticking his tongue down a young squeezes throat, or twerking on ice sculptures.

Eventually Brucie takes you over to the loudest table in the place. "Wifey, these are my kids and co. Dick my oldest, the trouble maker who laughed during the ceremony is Jason, my oldest daughter Cass, the middles Stephanie and Tim, and Damian my youngest. Then there's Barbara Commissioner Gordons daughter, and our newest member of our family Duke."

"I'm the only blood child." Damian points out.

"Let's hope debauchery isn't hereditary."

Jason bursts out laughing at that. "I like her already."

"Really? Cause I had to hold your hand like a toddler during the ceremony to keep you from throwing a tantrum like a toddler." Dick points out.

"Can you blame me Dickie. She's your age. If anyone should be having a hissy fit it's you. Well you and maybe Babs."

"But we're not. So can't you be mature about this."

"I think Todd's lack of manners have become more acceptable considering what she said. Now it stands out less. Congrats Todd, you're now the family's second biggest embarrassment." Damian rolled his eyes.

"Haha" You laughed sarcastically. "What are you stray cats fighting over anyway that has you so rowdy? Someone throw out a can on anchovies?"

"No we're just excited to have a new Mom." Dick smiled at you.

"Oh looks like my new Father-in-law is calling me over for some business talk. I'll be back, Wifey. You just stay here and mingle." Your husband walks away and you turn back to the Brucie bunch.

"I know you guys probably don't like me or find it weird that I'm so close to your guys ages. Do me a favor and just put up with me for say five to ten years." They looked at you confused so you elaborate. "Brucie and I signed a prenup that if I asked for a divorce I'd get nothing. But give it a few years and he'll find a new fling. They'll get caught and he'll ask for a divorce to save his image. Don't worry I'll only ask for at most a million. Standard sum for a celebrity of his caliber."

Damian glares at you. "You skank."

"I'm being realistic. As a woman in high society you get to be a man's pretty young thing till you're 40. By then you've either started your own multi-million dollar business or you're the divorced crone who can't do any better. Most relationships of this caliber are shams held together by pool boys and secretaries. Or the few lucky ones that got married for love instead of PR."

"Bruce isn't like that." Tim defends.

"Oh please. I've seen him go to a date with a woman and leave with two completely different women than the woman he arrived with." You rolled your eyes

"Maybe when he was younger, but he's changed." Duke stood up to confront you.

"It's nothing personal kids, it's just business. I don't care if that's how he chooses to live his life. I won't be around much to see it anyway, I'm going to be rather busy." You shrugged, seemingly above it all.

"Busy with what?" Cass glared.

"Trading stocks and such, preparing for the inevitable divorce. Maybe I'll go sponsor some artists or a theatre production if I'm bored. I don't know, but what I can tell you is that it's coming." You turn around to walk away and see Brucie already flirting with another woman. "And from the looks of it, it's coming sooner than we could've ever guessed." You smirked, feeling vindicated. The rest of them looked on in horror.

After the reception you two left on a rather uneventful honeymoon. The private villa was garish and gaudy. It felt like a petty excuse to flaunt his wealth especially because you two spent the entire trip sleeping in different rooms. And on top of all that half way through he up and left you with his black card and flew back to the mansion to deal with an "emergency". Your best guess was a whiny sugar baby was getting pissy.

At the end of the trip you flew back and had to catch an uber home. None of them even came to pick you up from the airport. Though with how they reacted to your statements at the reception could you really blame them?

Regardless you practically snuck into the mansion with the help of Alfred who showed you to a small guest room on the first floor. It had a single queen sized bed without even a comforter, just a white duvet, and on either side of the bed were nightstands.

"Thank you Alfred." You nodded to.

"You're welcome." He bows. "If there's anything else you need please feel free to inform me immediately."

"Brucie left this with me in his vacation home, can you give this back to him and tell him I said thank you for the take out?" You handed over the black card.

"Take out?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. And for letting me use the Wayneflix account while I was there. If I may make a slight suggestion, give your regency era shows more attention. Thank you Alfred. I'll go unpack now."

"I've already taken the liberty of unpacking your clothes into the wardrobe and dresser." He revealed.

"You didn't need to do that."

"I know you requested that I not but I felt I'd rather have your room ready for you than for you to stress when you arrived." He bowed.

"That's very sweet but I have a very particular system. My outfits all fit together in a specific way." You start to rearrange your clothes in the way you see fit.

"Might I learn how you like them so I can properly sort them next time?"

"No, it's okay. I can do my own laundry." You offered.

"Have you ever done your own laundry?" He raised an eyebrow accusingly.

"Well... no." You confessed. "But you already have like 14 other people's laundry to do. I don't want to be a bother. Besides I don't want you to waste a few weeks when it won't matter in a few years."

"So Master Damian has told me you've said. Nevertheless I'm willing to learn to do this if you are willing to learn how to do your own cooking and laundry."

"Why are you helping me?"

"I've met many people whom Master Wayne has brought into his life. You are the first who's actually wanted to fend for yourself. If you are running a long con into Master Wayne's pocket it's either the smartest or the dumbest plan I've ever seen concocted. Besides, many of the Wayne's don't currently reside here full time. Master Dick lives with his wife missus Koriand'r. Master Jason lives in a renovated greenhouse studio apartment. Miss Barbara and Miss Cassandra live as roommates. And Master Wayne lives in either his WayneTech or home Office. I have more than enough time to learn."

You genuinely smiled for the first time since you heard about the engagement. The two of you spent the rest of the day organizing clothes and making cookies.

"-And that is the difference between Light Academia and Pastel Academia.”

He looked stunned. "How do you keep all this straight?"

"It's just something I got into because I wanted to disassociate from my hopeless reality. I figured fake it till you make it right? Someday I could have a different, more quiet life. And finding subtle nuances between aesthetics is honestly fun. Like a game of spot the difference."

“Oh my! Look at the time! It’s already 4 o’clock!” Alfred looks stunned at the time.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spend four hours talking about this.”

"It's quite alright Missus Wayne."

"I'll go bring these to Brucie. Might as well let him know that he's not getting any inheritance from a tragic accident that happened to me."

"Master Wayne cares for you. I hope you know that. It may not be in the most... romantic measure... but I swear that he was not lying on your wedding day when he said he'd remain faithful to you." Alfred tried to reassure.

"If you say so Alfred." You gave him a small smile.

Alfred looked at her sadly as she walked away. He wished there was more he could do to help you fit in around the manor. Someone as grounded as you would be a good addition in Brice's life, he just knew it!

Later in the Batcave, Alfred confronted Bruce

"Master Wayne I have an idea on how to keep your new wife busy."

"Why should I care about what's she's doing with her life? I have more important things to do than to worry about than some nepo-baby throwing a tantrum.

"Why should you care? How about the fact that you have never had a serious relationship and making this work is crucial for your public image? How about the fact that she has given up her entire life to cater towards your brash decision after one petty comment Mr. West made about your love life?" Alfred started listing off reasons; becoming more irate as he did. "How about the fact that if she's not kept busy during the day she'll eventually stumble upon the entrance of the Batcave?"

That peaked Bruce's interest. "I'm listening." He swivels around in his chair.

"Offer her a job as the family's social media manager." Alfred proposed.

"What? Why?" Bruce looked at him, skeptically.

"She's very knowledgeable about different aesthetics and trend. She could make this family look..." He tried to find a nice word to describe them.

"Normal?" Bruce interrupts with an almost bored look on his face.

"I was going to say civil but that works too." Alfred shrugged as Bruce groaned. "Don't take it the wrong way Master Wayne. I love this Family with all my heart but you cannot deny that they can be a bit rowdy at times."

"A bit is an understatement. It would look good for your PR... fine. Go ask her... but If it is not up to Wayne Enterprise standards you're firing her for me!"

So that's what you've been doing for the past few months.

"Jason, I'm telling you, motorcycles are out! Most girls aren't going for the bad boy vibe anymore! They're into Timothée Chalamet!" You argued over the phone with Jason, Bruce's most rebellious child, even more so than the 12 year old pain in the ass! "Fine, we'll talk later. I have an unexpected visitor anyway." You looked behind you as Bruce entered.

Bruce made a habit of being loud around the house for her. You knew he was being exceptionally weird but you didn't exactly know why. You didn't really care all that much either.

He came up behind you and started to massage your shoulders. "Jason giving you trouble again."

"...yeah." You said shrinking into yourself. The one thing you hadn't quite gotten used to was Bruce's attempts to flirt with you. You knew that he wanted to keep public image favorable, but it didn't make sense why he flirted with you behind closed doors.

He leaned down and started kissing your exposed shoulders in your off the shoulder sweater dress. You wriggled out and away from him in discomfort and he looked at you puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"I don't like you touching me." You confessed. "I don't- ...I don't see us that way... I'm sorry."

He sat on the edge of your desk. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who should apologize. It's just that... we haven't done anything yet and-"

"And what? You think I'm a slut that's just going to put out for you?" You interrupted.

"No! I just meant that you were probably wanting me to... be more romantic... I thought you'd want me to instigate something..." He stood there, not knowing what to do.

"Well you thought wrong." You left your office angrily. You stomped out of there and went to the library. You looked over all the books they had. Classics like the Iliad and Crime and Punishment to so many romance novels. But one book in particular caught your interest. The History of Taxes.

"Who wants to read about taxes?" You cringed. The book looked relatively untouched. 'Typical,' you thought. 'Rich people can't even be bothered to try and read the books they have in their house.' She went to pull it out and found the bookshelf moving.

On the other side was the answer to one of the greatest mysteries she's had since she came to Gotham, "Who is Batman and Co?"

There it was! The Batcave and All it's glory...

Oh... the bags under his eye of sleepless nights, the flirty persona, the stomping around trying to make his presence known to you.

"Bruce Wayne is Batman..." No sooner had you said those words did you feel a sharp pain in the back of your head and the world fade into darkness...

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 6

Number 5 <-

Weiss:*rolls into view*….I’ve returned.

Yang:The bitch is back.

Weiss:Wow! Okay, rude. It’s not like I really left. I was in your streams all the time. I just don’t feel like doing my own after missions.

Yang:And yet somehow you still have more subscribers than me.

Photo Bunny gifted 30 subs

Weiss:Oh my gods! Velvet, thank you so much!

Yang:And the rich get richer!!!

Weiss:She says, knowing I’m not rich anymore.

Yang:And yet the money still pours in. Chat, make her play a horror game for being gone for so long.

“Yes!”

“PLEASE!”

“Alien Isolation.”

Weiss:Absolutely not. We have plans already. I’m just waiting for my co-host.

Yang:What am I then?

Weiss:A person who saw me hit the “live” button and immediately hopped into call to call me a bitch.

Yang:It’s in all in good love.

The Reaper: “Ayo! Look who’s back!”

Yang:Ruby, call Weiss a bitch.

Weiss:I’ll un-mod you. I’ve learned to do that recently.

Ruby: *enters call* Oh gods, chat, she’s learning computers. Tech savvy Weiss is dangerous. Who taught her such power?

Weiss:Your girlfriend.

Ruby:Oh, sorry chat. My girl can do no wrong.

Protector of Friendship: “💚”

Ruby:What’s the gameplan today? “Just chatting?” We can play Uno again.

Weiss:You hate teamwork. I swear you do.

Yang:Sends us on a life threatening mission where trust is needed, just to ruin it a day later.

Thunder Thighs: “How was mission? Everyone okay?”

Weiss:It was just bandits. Lots and lots of them. Unfortunately they ruined a village so most of the expenses went to rebuilding the town.

Yang:Chat, this woman is only on camera right now because her power bill is scaring her. This cute face has a price tag.

Weiss:Hey! I actually missed gaming. It’s oddly relaxing when I don’t listen to Ruby’s suggestions. Or Blake’s.

Ninja of Love: “League actually isn’t that bad.”

Ruby:That’s what I’m saaaaaying!

Yang:Don’t listen to them. They’re ill and can’t be cured.

Weiss:*looks at scroll*…Oh, I’ll be right back. Yang, you’re in charge. *gets up*

Ruby:Why not me?

Weiss:Because Yang doesn’t play League!

Ruby:You two lack vision. The four of us could be our own team! We could grab a few more friends and train for tournaments.

Ren: *enters call* Ruby, you are way too toxic for that. *leaves call*

Yang:Hahahahaha!

Ruby:You can’t just show up to say that!?

Weiss walks back into view rolling a second chair next to her. She’s then handed a coffee cup she gladly sips as she sits back down, all nice and cozy. Sitting next to her is Jaune, chilling in her merch hoodie as he waves.

Jaune:Hello…

“Whaaaat?”

“Oh it’s the guy.”

“Hi Jaaaaaaune!”

“Nerd alert”

“Co-host?”

Yang:I can’t believe you chose the other blonde over me. How cruel. What does he have I don’t?

Jaune:*holds up Kingdom Hearts*

Ninjas of Love: “FINALLY!”

Yang:..I would’ve bought it.

Ruby:Alright, maybe you chose better than Uno.

Weiss:Okay everyone, you can guess tonight’s game. It’s not like it hasn’t won several polls.

Ruby:Oh! Oh! Weiss, sub goal idea! 80 subs and you have to do a cover of the opening!

Weiss:I haven’t even heard it yet!

Jaune:You might like it more than the song from FFX.

Weiss:….

Yang:She’s setting you up for success.

Weiss:…We will circle back to that. Speaking of FFX, same rules apply. I don’t need back-seating from chat. My wonderful co-host here will help manage the stream and aid me with anything I ask.

Blake: *enters call* Jaune, what version is that?

Jaune:It’s from the 1.5 collection, so final mix. Post the patch.

Blake:You’re a good man.

Weiss:Do you want the camera on you or is that uncomfortable?

Jaune:I’m okay. This setup is nice.

Ruby:Questions like these wouldn’t be an issue if you got a VTube model. Penny could hook you up.

Weiss:I only recently learned how to fix normal PC problems. Don’t put that burden on me.

Yang:What does OBS stand for?

Weiss:I saved your life yesterday. What’s your damage with me?

Big Bags & Miniguns: “Is this the mystery boyfriend we’ve been searching for?”

Weiss:Cocoa, you’ve known Jaune forever. He’s always been around as a mod.

Thunder Thighs: “That wasn’t a no.”

Jaune:I literally showed my copy of the game. You all know why I’m here.

Cardinal Pride: “As if she’d date someone as lame as-

Message Deleted

Photo Bunny: “Please remember the chat guidelines before typing”

Ruby:I would’ve blocked him.

Weiss:He gets one more chance. I’m in a good mood.

Jaune:That’s the Kingdom Hearts spirit. *puts disc in*

Weiss:This won’t make me cry like Final Fantasy did, will it?

Blake:Oh….sweetie….

Weiss:*inhales* Great.

Yang:I already made a crude layout for the singing goal. I swear graphic designers should be thankful I like cars and fighting Grimm more.

Jaune:Don’t have any lower goals?

Weiss:I’m 20 away from having to cosplay a character from a game I’ve played. They also get to vote on an emote.

BB&MG: “How many subs for a boyfriend reveal?”

Weiss:…*rubs chin*

Ruby:You’re thinking about it!?

Weiss:I mean I’d have to talk it over with him to see if he’s comfortable with others knowing, but also that goal has to be high enough for Cocoa to be scared.

Jaune:….This game isn’t terribly long, and you have new followers. Personally I’d shoot for no less than 300.

The Monkey King: “Bleed her dry. 350”

BB&MG: “I thought we were friends Sun?”

Weiss:350 it is! After I discuss it of course.

“You’re on!”

“You underestimate our power!”

“I swear if it’s Neptune.”

“Just wait until payday!”

Yang:Like I said, the rich get richer.

[cornyonmains]

So, I really need everyone to understand what's going to happen in the coming weeks and months.

Right now, in this singular moment of time, we are unified. Regardless of our race, gender, religion, and political affiliations, we have all set sights on a common enemy. A common enemy that's killing us regardless of who we are, stealing our grandparent's retirements, and years from all our lives.

This enemy is smart enough not to be divided by the petty things we've allowed to separate us. They're not arguing about Starbucks cups while dancing on our graves. They're planning. They're in ivory towers talking right now about the best way to drive a wedge between us.

The legacy media will likely try to manufacture consent for Neoliberal reforms, like a price negotiation bill. At this point, it's a band-aid on an open wound, and just like Obamacare it will likely be filled to the brim with provisions to protect private health insurers. It'll also likely only be for select medications. Don't fall for it.

They'll do things like what Martha Raddatz did in her interview with Ro Khanna, just flippantly mention how impossible it is.

In between all this, they're going to be digging up every cringelord post Luigi Mangione ever made try to stoke a culture war again. Don't let him. What Luigi believes is secondary to what he did and how fucking free it made us all feel.

Businesses might get spooked, they might do something like what Blue Cross did, which is to roll back their decision on limiting anesthesia. You might see a few of them lower their prices. You might even see some talk about a new and more ethical form of capitalism. A few of the richer companies might even start paying a few bucks an hour extra.

Don't fall for any of it. It's all done in pursuit of keeping us dying too soon in hospital beds, because these businesses don't want to pay the taxes. They want us to be happy with a few extra bucks.

Stay unified, stay focused, and stay mad.

We can do this. Don't let these fucking scandaloids on the news get us scratching each other's eyes out over nothing. Let's empty their pockets for once.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Omg just had a depressing thought about the Gods and Marks AU:

Before Izuku declared war, he wasn't interested in competing with Katsuki because in his mind, Katsuki has already won which has been the case for centuries. Unlike the days of Sun Tzu and Sacrotes, war has become less Strategy and more so "who can commit the most war crimes against the other?" and it's often the civilians who bear the brunt of it. Ever since the dawn of quirks, strength is so prevalent that it's become the basis of how to measure someone's worth. Avarice is what literally fuels the world. Billionaires becoming richer and richer while the poor can barely survive (especially in East Asia where the wealthy control everything). Izuku does feel the world can recover from avarice as shown by the French Revolution, but it's small and fleeting. But basically, Katsuki has won and is a result of humanity's strongest beliefs. Strength is literally one of his domains so what is he fighting over?

Izuku tells Katsuki this and said god completely short circuits. Because what??? Katsuki has dedicated his life to taking down Deku and proving he was the best and the fucker didn't think the world was worth fighting over? At first it feels good. He's proven he was the best and shitty loser even admitted. But after a while, it becomes hollow. After all, the destination is never as fun as the journey. His life's goal is complete, so what now?

(This is essentially a parallel between All Might and Endeavor where the latter gets finally becomes the Number 1 hero, but at what cost. This is noted by several people and the comparison makes them uncomfortable)

People in Japan (and perhaps in other countries) are watching this god who embodies the most noble concepts looking utterly drained and jaded in humanity and feel intense shame. They see the monster that they've spent thousands of years feeding and wonder how they let things get so out of hand. But then, some changes start happening: Some Japanese officials start pushing for legislation against quirk discrimination, there are small talks about abolishing the world hero ranking system, qurikless discrimination is treated more seriously, rumors start swirling about heroes being investigated for misconduct, countries who are hostile to each other reluctantly suggest negotiations instead of aggression. It's small things, but one thing's for certain.

Most of them don't want Katsuki as their patron. They see how Heroism is almost dead behind the eyes and feel guilt. For the first time in centuries, Katsuki sees how defeated his oldest enemy is.

Izuku actually had never considered Katsuki his rival. To him, Katsuki was the other side of the coin, and while he's strategy has slowly fallen away from war, Izuku still was worshiped by spies, chess masters, gamers and more. He never considered Katsuki a rival. Ever- rather a coworker who was once a friend.

Plus while Izuku does work within the realm of war, he also is with everyone. The exhausted teenager who just needs to push themselves a little more. The single mom gritting her teeth to pay a bill. The abused man hiding cash from his wife in hopes of getting out of there. The girl who hands a twenty dollar bill to a homeless man. The man who helps hand out blankets. The person who takes time out of their day to clean up a park.

Izuku has never seen Katsuki as a rival. Katsuki is a god of war, strength and avarice. His domains aren't really near Izuku’s other then giving the strength to people to take the steps to do things and even then, you can have all the strength in the world but it doesn't matter if you don't have drive.

So there isn't any hopelessness in izuku’s eyes. Just the reveal that he has never seen Katuski as a rival, never truly knew that Katsuki thought of him like that. He thought Katsuki was just greedy and hated having to even share a smidge of his domain with anyone.

And I think THAT hurts Katsuki more then anything. Knowing that his rival never thought they were in a race, rather that he was just being greedy.

And I think that this would have Katsuki full on demanding a war. Teeth bared and eyes wild.

Which interestingly has Izuku no longer want one.

To deny Katsuki anything he wants is more then enough.

[some-triangles]

Now that everyone's a little less raw it looks like the Takes are rolling in, so I might as well add mine.

The thing that frustrates me is that everybody knows that the democratic party is a bought and paid for centrism machine, but we forget this every time an election rolls around. It's been the most important election of my lifetime, where we have to set aside petty concerns like the social safety net or not slaughtering people in the middle east in order to vote for the lesser of two evils, for the last 20 years. It is a reflection on how eagerly human beings will divide themselves into factions that this continues to work.

I want you to reflect on that moment of enthusiasm the left collectively had when Harris came on board (do you remember when Walz made that joke about Vance fucking a couch? Good times.) Do you ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

There is a very obvious lesson to be learned from Trump's win here, but it will go aggressively unlearned, because it is not in the interests of the media or the political classes to learn it. The CNN roundtable on how Harris lost because she wasn't pro-Israel enough went out yesterday. Consider how much money is spent on a presidential election in this country - even the nicest, most liberal lobbyists, lawyers, "journalists", consultants and associated professionals have mortgages to pay and mouths to feed.

All I want at this point is a little honesty from the "in my america" lawn sign brigade, a little reflection. All I want is for the next time the democratic party comes around asking for your money, your energy, your attention- just think a little bit about what you've bought from them so far. Think about the current state of the healthcare system, think about who profits from it, think about how much you still spend on insurance and on top of insurance. Think about how the rich get richer under both parties. Think about how this election was decided when business decided they could accept Trump and the democrats were left holding the principles they'd been trying to sell, outbid for them. Tear up the fundraising letters, and on top of that, tear up your medical bills. Kick the sunk cost fallacy out of your brain and admit that this isn't working. I'm not asking you to take the next step, to think about why a message founded on white supremacy and american exceptionalism is so persuasive to so many of us, or why every single person in a position of real power is lying about a genocide that we can see happening on our phones. Just think about where your money has gone and whether there's been a return on your investment.

For those of you who already know what I'm talking about, the story is the same as it ever was. Due to inflation the 20 bucks of mutual aid we pass around should probably be updated to 50, and we should probably find some way of passing it that doesn't involve Peter Thiel, but other than that, business as usual.

[crazycookiemaniac]

You know what? If anyone is concerned as to why I don't have a "real" job like most people, not that I owe anyone any explanation, I guess I should talk about this a bit. So, to anyone who cares:

First off, finding a job is not as easy as it seems. There is so much more than just handing in a curriculum, being interviewed so you can then, maybe, get hired. What about your experience? What about your confidence? What about your knowledge? And so on forth.

You can't just find a job because you want to. And, as a matter of fact, not everyone wants to work for companies to make the rich even richer, anyway.

I grew up being very naive. I never paid attention to what happened around me. I could barely make friends due to a bunch of circumstances that I don't think is necessary mentioning here, but I've always been a very lonely person, deep down.

I remember clearly watching my mom do the math on her notebook to see if the money she got was going to be enough for the month. I remember clearly how much I wanted to help her pay the household bills, and one of the first things I did when I turned 16 (age I could legally start working with my parents' permission) was try to become an English teacher at a small English school that was pretty far from home. The owner of the school, who said I was "undergoing training" to teach according to the school's method, never gave me a single penny for over a month that I wasted working for free until I realized he was using me and quit.

And then I kept trying. And trying. And trying. Worked for almost 4 months as a cashier at a retail store, worked as an eyebrow designer for almost 2 months, tried several different university courses, as well as other short courses over the time. I kept trying to find myself in anything and everything at the same time. I could never stay at one place for too long.

Meanwhile, during all these years... ever since I was around 12... I've never stopped drawing.

Art is the one and ONLY thing I've never given up on. Art is something I love so much, I've never wanted to even think about selling it because I firmly believed that what's made with love should be shared and not sold. But life made me realize that I didn't belong anywhere that didn't have a paper and a pencil.

Art is what I do. It's the only thing I can do. Christ, it's the only thing I LOVE to do. And even though I would love to have a second job, to learn more things... I don't have the confidence I can do anything else.

I've grown to know that I have ADHD, Bipolar disorder, and OCD. Since the end of 2020, my mental health severely deteriorated, and I had to go to a mental hospital in 2021 and 2022, as well as I had to go to a part time hospital in 2023. Because of everything that went on, my financial situation got really bad, so I've been trying to pay everything off with what I gain from commissions and donations I eventually get.

See, you don't have to like me. Feel sorry, much less. But some people need to understand that some things are just not as easy as it seems. Everyone walks their own path in life. I'm walking down mine. It's hard, not just for me but for everyone, but I'm doing what I can.

I'm not proud to ask for help all the time. I wish people would only commission or donate to me because they like my work, and not because they feel sorry. But I don't have any other choice. My family can't help, so I have to do what I can.

So, please. Try to understand that I'm doing the best I can.

[botgal]

God im so done goverments are trying to censor everyone on the internet across the world i don't understand how they have this much power and all just to sell our fucking data and get more money. They are lying to grieving parents and claiming they are protecting kids no the fuck you are not. And California bills. Their also planning on talking about banning tiktok again this monday i just want all of this to end im so done why is our are government fucking with everyone around the world like i don't get why they want to control us so badly and feed whatever propaganda they can.

I know we still should not give up that's what they want but im tired of worrying over everyones rights being taken away genociding happening in other countries. I hate that are governments claim they care just to spread their fascism/propaganda/being dictators. I know it's not grieving parents fault at the end of the day but i read an article about parents trying to push this bill to pass besides some old fucking fossils who should be under the grave. Like how can these parents trust these governments when time and time again they are just fucking us over how can they can realize kosa is not a good bil it also harms them it harms everyone in the end.

What i also don't get how are people not worried over kosa passing i know it's just a committee so not an actual vote yet people should still be calling. But people were making a big deal about kosa last year now people don't care at all anymore people are going to start panicking when it's too late always ends up happening. I'm just calling trying to manifest trying to keep positive about the whole ordeal just very tired....

Yeah, I won't lie to you. Shit sucks right now in a lot of ways. The government has never been your friend and all the rich people on earth just want to get richer with no regard for the people they tread on to get there. They all prey on vulnerable people by telling them what they're doing will help them or bring them closure or even just give them something to lash out at because that's what they do. They just keep taking and taking and want all humans to be nothing but working cogs.

People are worried, plenty I've seen. And it's up to us to spread these things so More people are worried and do something about it before they also lose something important. I'm one of the most evasive people when it comes to stress but even I know how to make myself buckle down when it counts. And now is when it certainly counts.

We have things we can do to pre-empt future harms as well as fight in the present. Pay attention to your state elected officials at both state and federal levels, see what their platforms are on certain ideas and either stand behind them or push them to see the light. *Senator Marsha Blackburn, one of the Senators behind KOSA and a blatant transphobe, is up for re-election this year, hint hint* We need to get as many good people in office as possible to keep anything like this from happening again. Push that blue wave so we can deal with people who might be semi reasonable.

We have the courts, we have people willing to stand for our rights. And even after any bills pass, we can always push back as long as we're here.

I understand being tired. We all are. But as long as they won't let it rest, neither must we. But I hope you will take care of yourself regardless.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕠 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕣 - ℂ𝕙. 𝕀𝕀: 𝔻𝕚𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕟 𝔼𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕪 𝕋𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 ⚜

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ ✧.*★ Thank you to @evren-sadwrn for the beta read!

Summary: Vincent struggles to find ways to amuse himself in the huge, empty Gramont estate.

TW: mention of drug use, what could be interpreted as hypersexuality

Author's Note: I'm getting a little bit inventive with image choices, since neither Vincent nor Chidi appear for very long in the movie. Also I'm editing these to look kind of right - Chidi's tie, for instance. So if they don't look like Bill Skarsgård and Marko Zaror...yeah, they aren't.

Vincent lay across his bed, staring at the wooden cupids carved into the moulding where the bedposts met the canopy. He felt childish for sulking this way, but he couldn’t help it. That Myrmadon at the top of the stairs was going to gossip. Not to mention the servant girl.

It was bad enough to be back in his father’s estate without the disrespect on top of it. The house felt simultaneously too large and too small for him. Too large, because it was an echoing and empty place in which nobody spoke to anyone else without an ulterior motive. And too small, because his ambitions had already outgrown it. Italy had shown him what was possible, just as he’d hoped. More specifically, Gianna D’Antonio’s patronage had shown him what was possible.

It was easy enough to ingratiate himself with her. Of course she wanted the heir to another High Table seat as her protégé, someone who could assure her that business would go well in her dealings with the French court, both now and once he came to power. In return, she offered him connections, training, opportunities to prove himself. Busy work, yes, terrifying work, but work that built his reputation. For months at a stretch, he felt self-possessed. No one questioned him, no one told him that his efforts were insufficient, no one threatened his position – or if they did, they paid in blood.

And he had taken up certain pleasures that befitted a man as glorious as he planned to be, wandering museum to gallery to opera house to fine restaurant, richer than god and getting richer, perpetually intoxicated on something or other, until he finally stumbled home in the arms of a latest conquest. Half of Rome knew by now that he was sleeping with half of Rome. Well, good. It was good to be known as a playboy. It kept everyone on their toes, begging for his commitment and his special attention but never really expecting it. In a state like that, so eager to please, they became useful to him.

Only one affair was secret: Gianna did not know that he was sleeping with her brother. It was a risky move on Vincent’s part, but one that would secure an alliance with the Camorra seat in the event of her death. He had a hunch she would not survive to take the throne. Santino was desperate to rule, desperate to prove himself. They had that in common, and Vincent hated the sight of his own reflection in the man. He wore ambition badly, less eager to be somebody and more afraid of being a disappointment to his parents. Vincent counted it as a blessing that he himself was not quite that pathetic. He wasn’t. Right?

He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the letter that Santino had given him just before he left. Dripping with begging, desperate, undignified words that had nothing to do with who he really was. Santino had seen his beauty, physical and otherwise, and latched on, seeing nothing else. Yes, he reassured himself, he really did feel quite thoroughly above this man.

But it was small comfort. He wished there was anyone on his level, anyone to whom he could bare his heart without feeling wretched. What a thought…what a stupid thought. There was no such thing in the world.

If he were in Italy, he would banish such a thought by going out for the evening, filling his head with noise and cocaine. But here, that was not possible. At his father’s house, he was always watched, yet always alone. Every room searched again and again in fear of assassination – and in an act of deliberate control. And he had no idea how long he would be here now…

He was interrupted by the dinner call. Good enough. That almost resembled a distraction.

As it turned out, that was equally unbearable. The great empty dining hall laid out with a feast for him and the maids bustling around in deafening silence…it all seemed like a farce. It was all he could do ensure it was at someone else’s expense. His eyes scanned the room for prey.

Chidi.

Chidi stood against the far wall, eyes front and hands behind his back, in the stance of waiting. He could surely see Vincent staring at him from the corner of his eye, but did not falter. That tuft of fabric splayed out into a messy rose where his blade had sliced through the silk. Apparently, he hadn’t refreshed his uniform. It made his tie look like a dog collar and for some reason, Vincent wanted the whole room to see it.

“Ce tableau est trop grand. Assied toi avec moi. [This table is too large. Sit with me.]”

It was an odd request, but the man did not hesitate. Without a word, he unbuttoned the bottom of his suitcoat and took the chair across from Vincent, resting his hands on his thighs and his gaze on the Comte, with a look more gracious than a smile. Good.

Vincent took a delicate bite of scallop, neither lingering over it nor rushing it, but knowing that it would make him jealous for food. In that manner, he ate for a while, ignoring him. The frustrations of the day faded from his mind as all his attention went towards Chidi. The attentive way that his guard watched him, the flawless silence – it all felt like a conversation. At every moment, Vincent was saying, “Will you act out of turn? Will you demand to eat as my equal, will you question me?” And at every moment, Chidi was saying, “No, sir. Not for the world.” It enthralled both of them.

Finally, he cleared his throat and leaned back, waiting for dessert. “Amusez-moi, Chidi. [Entertain me, Chidi,]” he ordered, like he was not already thoroughly entertained.

“Que voudriez-vous, monsieur ? Une histoire? [What would you like, sir? A story?]”

He shrugged, more with one eyebrow and the corner of his mouth than with his body, as if it were beneath him even to move his shoulders.

Chidi nodded, and thought for a minute. Less than a minute, really. “Je vais vous raconter quelque chose de beau que j'ai vu une fois. Mon sens de la beauté n’est pas très bon, mais j’ai vu quelques choses que je savais belles. [I will tell you something beautiful that I once saw. My eye for beauty is not so good, but I have seen a few things I knew were beautiful.]” The room seemed not to breathe. The maids stood still against the walls, hands folded, utterly silent. “Un jour, alors que j'étais enfant et que je vivais avec ma grand-mère au Chili, j'allais à la fenêtre après le petit-déjeuner pour admirer le jardin. Et il y avait un chaton qui jouait dans les plants de tomates, poursuivant un papillon. Un petit chat tigré orange qui fonce d'un côté à l'autre. Je ne pouvais même pas bouger, j’étais tellement heureux de le regarder. [Once, when I was a child living with my grandmother in Chile, I went to the window after breakfast to look out at the garden. And there was a kitten playing in the tomato plants, chasing a butterfly. A little orange tabby, darting this way and that way. I couldn’t even move, I was so happy watching it.]”

“Mignon [Cute],” Vincent said, a little disdainfully, though he was smiling.

“Oui Monsieur. Mais pendant ce temps, mon frère a couru dehors pour essayer d'attraper le chat tigré. Et je… eh bien, j'ai couru dehors pour essayer d'attraper mon frère, et toute la scène n'a abouti à rien. Je ne voulais pas qu’il perturbe sa chasse, voyez-vous. [Yes, sir. But meanwhile, my brother ran outside to try to catch the tabby. And I…well, I ran outside trying to catch my brother, and the whole scene went to nothing. I didn’t want him to disturb its hunting, you see.]”

“Et ce chaton… a-t-il attrapé le papillon? [And this kitten…did it catch the butterfly?]”

“Je ne m'en souviens pas, monsieur. Je me souviens seulement du chaton. [I don’t remember, sir. I only remember the kitten.]”

“Et ton frère? A-t-il attrapé le chaton? [How about your brother? Did he catch the kitten?]”

“Non monsieur. Je l'ai attrapé par la cheville et j'ai reçu un coup de pied au visage. Pendant ce temps, il lui a griffé les mains, quelque chose d'horrible et a grimpé la clôture. Nous ne l'avons jamais revu. [No, sir. I grabbed him by the ankle and got kicked in the face. Meanwhile, it clawed his hands something awful and ran up the fence. We never saw it again.]”

“Quelle chose étrange à retenir. Je ne sais pas si c'est beau. Il semblerait que ce soit la perte d'un beau chaton. [What a strange thing to remember. I don’t know if it’s beautiful. Seems it was the loss of a fine kitten.]”

“… J'ai aimé la façon dont il s'est battu. C'était ma partie préférée. […I liked the way it fought. That was my favorite part.]”

Vincent inhaled deeply, trying not to analyze why something rushed through him then. A plate of cream and walnut cake clinked softly down in front of him. The maid hesitated. “Dois-je également offrir une assiette au Myrmidon, monsieur? [Ought I offer the Myrmidon a plate as well, sir?]”

He looked at Chidi thoughtfully. “Oui.”

Chidi matched his etiquette, if that was possible. Small, delicate bites, with proper action of the fork and knife. It might have made such a big man look ridiculous if he hadn’t done it with such tender poise.

With conversation open between them and Vincent’s eyes on him expectantly, he dared to speak. “Avez-vous apprécié votre séjour en Italie, monsieur? [Have you enjoyed your time in Italy, sir?]”

“Extrêmement. Vous n’imaginez pas à quel point ce pays est rafraîchissant. Plein d'opportunités. En fait, je l'ai trop apprécié pour l'expliquer. [Extremely. You have no idea what a refreshing country it is. Full of opportunity. I have enjoyed it too much to explain, in fact.]” Vincent was not about to divulge the smallest fraction of his secrets in front of the help.

“Je suis très heureux. [I’m very glad.]” He seemed genuinely pleased, and Vincent gave a small smile in return. But the meal was finished, and with it, their game of play-pretend friendship.

“Vous avez été très divertissant aujourd’hui, Chidi. [You’ve been very entertaining today, Chidi.]”

“Merci Monsieur. C'est mon devoir de plaire. [Thank you, sir. It is my duty to please.]”

Of course. Cute stories about wild kittens and reminiscences of Italy meant nothing, they were merely a duty performed. He knew that. But hearing it reminded him that the room was really empty. The maids lining the walls were statues, the Myrmadon was a wind-up toy in front of him which he had forced to dance for a half hour. There was nobody in the building at all except himself and his father’s absence.

“Vous êtes congédié. [You are dismissed.]” And he walked out of the room before his face could betray him.

◃ Back ⚜ Next ▹

Image Sources: 1 2

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack ✨Character Info✨😌 (part 2)

⭐️❄️⭐️

If you haven’t caught up on my TBOSAS Crack!AU yet, read [this] first. AND for those who want part 1, you can read [this].

Felix “Class Pres” Ravinstill🎖️(AKA: Panem’s President If The Academy Was Running The Government)

He honestly won the position of ✨Class President✨ because of pure nepotism. And because nobody really wanted to run against him at that time. At least he’s very competent with his job, and everybody genuinely likes him.

His granduncle is the current ✨President of Panem✨. That’s why he uses the excuse of “My granduncle runs this country! I can do whatever I want” card if he gets in trouble.

Speech writing, dancing, throwing parties, and acting are his favorite hobbies.

Drunk!Casca Highbottom mistakenly calls him “Philip Raven’s Bill” than “Felix” every class roll call. Luckily, he doesn’t really care.

He and Festus Creed are the ones in charge of choosing a ✨Class Team Building Game✨ every week.

His favorite banned song is ✨This is What Makes Us Girls✨💅.

He loves to collect rare and banned ✨Hello Kitty✨ merch for some reason.

He is the richest student next to Sejanus Plinth and Livia Cardew.

Half of his relatives are rich AF politicians, and the other half are a bunch of shady business tycoons.

He is aware that his family is corrupt AF. However, he was forced by his parents to ignore that issue if he wants to receive his weekly allowance from his Bichon Frisé puppy loving granduncle.

He has eight crazy uncles who are trying to assassinate/arrest one another.

Half of his uncles are a bunch of criminals, and the other half are in charge of the Capitol’s Peacekeepers.

His family reunions are known to be dangerously wild and deadly. Last year’s ✨Ravinstill Family Reunion✨ included two disastrous weddings, three failed murder attempts, and five funerals in less than a week.

He has a tendency to accidentally share his family’s secrets for free.

He was genuinely ashamed to introduce himself in front of the Tributes because of his family’s infamy and shady crimes against the Districts. He even pretended to be “Philip Raven’s Bill” when he first met Dill.

After being embarrassingly outed as a “Ravinstill” in front of the Tributes, he and the other Mentors decided to make an elaborate plan to delay and ultimately postpone the 10th Hunger Games (forever), just because he didn’t want Dill to hate him.

He always brings a red megaphone every class outing because half of his classmates (according to Livia Cardew) are a bunch of babies who can’t follow basic instructions.

He teasingly considers Lysistrata Vickers as his personal physician because her parents are currently working under his family.

He once ordered Androcles Anderson to steal one of his family’s prized Bichon Frisé puppies that were illegally bred by one of his criminal uncles.

Livia “Liv” Cardew 💅 (AKA: The Capitol’s Very Own Regina George)

Everyone is afraid of her family. Heck. Even D. Gaul is afraid of her powerful parents.

Her scary mother (Mama Cardew) literally runs and rules the largest and most politically powerful bank in the country.

Her proud father (Papa Cardew) is a glorified stay-at-home househusband.

Her mama once threatened President Ravinstill to legalize customizing one’s school and job uniforms. In truth, Mama Cardew just wanted her favorite employees to wear a dazzling gold and pink suit for the summer holidays.

Mama Cardew is the only living entity that Dr. Gaul doesn’t want to meet, intimidate, or argue with.

Livia will literally and economically ruin anyone’s life and reputation forever if they wear the same outfit as her.

Dean Highbottom is not allowed to give her a demerit because her mama will literally strangle him to death with his tax papers.

Livia is one of the richest students next to Felix Ravinstill and Sejanus Plinth. However, she openly brags that she is richer than those two idiots because their families are technically using her mama’s bank.

Drunk!Casca Highbottom mistakenly calls her “Liver Cardew” than “Livia” every class roll call. She told her mama about this issue, but no deadly threats could stop the Dean from calling her “Liver” in front of everyone.

Her private car’s color is a blinding ✨Hot Pink✨ that sparkles under the sun. It is the only one of its kind because she promised to sue anyone who will try to replicate her idea.

Shoe shopping, gossiping, and collecting secrets for blackmail purposes are her favorite hobbies.

She has her own secret “burn book” that could destroy the reputations and careers of many high ranking government officials if they ever try to threaten her family with money.

Her favorite banned song is ✨7 Rings✨.

Livia once threatened a School Board Official that she will personally destroy Panem’s economy if they refuse to let her class have a ✨Pink & Pearls✨ theme party after their midterm exams.

She is the ✨mean girl✨ that her loser classmates fear, but ultimately need if they want their ✨TGIF Costume Parties✨ to happen.

Arachne Crane is the only classmate that Livia half-heartedly considers a true friend of hers.

Livia, Felix, Coryo, and Sejanus were the ones who petitioned to let the Mentors give their Tributes a private tour around the Capitol after the failed Arena Explosion Incident. And because she needed Facet to carry her diamond encrusted handbag when she goes shopping with him.

She genuinely bonded with her Tribute through gossiping and shopping.

She tried to hire Facet to be her official fashionista assistant because he claimed that he was an expert in jewelry and apparel designs.😌💅

She is the one who suggested to recreate/revamp the Hunger Games into a reality TV show called ✨Love Island✨😘. However, this only ultimately motivated everyone to create their own version of the Hunger Games with a “no killing” policy.

She and Arachne Crane also proposed to create another reality TV show called ✨The Real Housewives of Corso✨💅, which will feature the secret lives of the richest women of the most opulent neighborhood in The Capitol.

Palmyra “Palm” Monty ☠️ (AKA: The Academy’s Food Harbinger of Death)

Her family can hardcore survive almost any poisonous substances and are even frighteningly immune to cyanide poisoning.

Her mother, Mama Monty has been feeding her children expired foodstuffs since forever.

She likes to bring her mother’s accursed expired pies to school and feed them to her friends as a sign of ✨solidarity✨🥰.

In order to escape the inevitable death sentence of being unintentionally poisoned by Monty, her friends just pretended to be full all the time. Even the malnourish looking Coryo Snow and Festus Creed (the Foodie) have to lie in order to avoid eating “Monty’s Poison”🤢.

She was ultimately banned from feeding her classmates and teachers by the school after the infamous ✨End of The Year Class Party Incident✨that horrifyingly hospitalized half of the school because of her family’s deadly apple pies.

Cooking, baking, and feeding people are her favorite hobbies.

Her favorite banned song is ✨Cooking By The Book✨😂.

Her family only survived The 2 year Capitol Siege by the rebels because Mama Monty fed their enemies her notoriously deadly apple pies when they broke into Monty’s Mansion. However, the Monty children (plus Florus) all got war trauma after witnessing the rebels (censored) and die from food poisoning.

She is somewhat aware of her crazy “psycho” tendencies because of her childhood war traumas. However, nobody has the guts to arrest her or her unhinged mother. Even the powerful Ravinstills and wealthy Cardews refuse to mess with her “borderline insane” family.

Drunk!Casca Highbottom mistakenly calls her “Palmolive Monthly” than “Palmyra” every class roll call. She was quite annoyed by it. So she took revenge by feeding the Dean expired crackers that hospitalized him for two weeks and a half.

She was the sole reason why both the Mentors and Tributes of the 10th Hunger Games survived and avoided the ✨Arena Explosion Incident✨.

After Felix and the rest of the Mentors notified The Academy of Palmyra’s shenanigans, she is now officially banned from entering the school kitchen or any public kitchen for that matter.

Unsurprisingly, it took 5 Mentors and 3 very confused Tributes to force her out of the school kitchen without getting poisoned or stabbed by her precious cooking knife.

Florus Friend is deathly afraid of her because of the infamous cheesy roll incident that almost killed him and his dignity.

Persephone Price is the only entity that Palmyra considers a “true danger to humanity’s existence” because of the ✨Maid Stew Incident✨.

She used to have a small crush on Festus Creed until Persephone Price heard the news and threatened to cook her.

Her District 1 Tribute, Velvereen was considered a real “walking miracle” by many people, just because she had the courage to eat “Monty’s Poison” without getting sick.

She was the one who proposed ✨The Hunger Games: Fear Factor✨ idea with a “no killing” policy. Unsurprisingly, Treech, Jessup, Brandy, and Coral were the only Tributes who supported her proposal.

Androcles “Andie” Anderson 🚨 (AKA: Panem’s Professional Kleptomaniac News Anchor Wannabe)

Most of his family are either on-site news reporters or news anchors. However, they all mutually dislike Lucky Flickerman and his annoying talking bird, Jubilee.

He is quite the successful kleptomaniac of his class. Fortunately, only Felix, Coryo, Iphigenia, Sejanus, and Lysistrata knew of his impulse control disorder because of the infamous ✨Cabbage & Pills Incident✨ that everybody refused to talk about.

He wants to become a famous investigative reporter like his mother in the future. However, Dean Highbottom and a few government officials would rather burn Panem to the ground before that happens.

Disguising, acting, reporting, and pickpocketing (stealing) the Dean’s morphling bottles to sell them later at the Capitol Black Market are his favorite hobbies.😈

His favorite banned song is ✨Stand Up by 1D✨😎.

Drunk!Casca Highbottom mistakenly call him “Andrew Keys Under Sun” than “Androcles” every class roll call. He just laughs at the Dean’s expense.

His mother is always up to date with every saucy Capitol gossip. And as a reporter, she is a danger to anyone and everyone’s reputation.

His scheming family only got filthy rich because his scary mama blackmails a bunch of rich government officials every other week for a living.

Urban Canville has an ongoing grudge against Andie because the klepto once stole his lucky scientific calculator.

He also once stole Livia Cardew’s very expensive ✨red apocalypse colored lipstick✨ and melted it down in the school kitchen to make fake blood in order to skip “boring” classes.

Dr. Gaul hates Andie in a more personal level because he once stole her pet rabbit mutt’s genetically enhanced carrots and fed them to his starving Tribute (Sheaf).

Coryo and Sejanus are responsible for listing every item Andie stole from his fellow classmates. Unsurprisingly, they are now adding and extending the available pages.

Felix Ravinstill greatly considers Andie as his right hand man who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. That’s why he was given the task to secretly steal a prized Bichon Frisé puppy from the President of Panem himself.

Andie and Felix have a long-standing ✨Bromantic Bros For Life Relationship✨ and everybody knows it (except for the Ravinstills).

His greatest accomplishment as a “professional kleptomaniac” was when he successfully stole President Ravinstill’s ✨presidential house keys✨ without anyone noticing.

He supports Coryo’s talent show idea with a “no killing, no gore, no cannibalism” policy because his Tribute (Sheaf) is good at dancing and acrobatics.

He, along with Coryo, Festus, Apollo, and Diana, were shamelessly responsible for emptying the school’s food pantry to feed their Tributes without further depleting their already depleted class funds.

He and Festus Creed should’ve already been expelled from school a long time ago because of their non-stop shenanigans. However, the Dean was too afraid to meet Andie’s mommy and her camera crew.

He and Sheaf genuinely became good friends after he got her a custom made rabid raccoon plushie to play with Wovey.

[onlinecorvus]

My OC, Fos Phospo, overlord of real estate in the pride ring.

!! TW: Cults, White phosphorus !!

Originally named Raymond, he was born in 1930s America, a richer part of Mississippi to an upper-class family that raised him well. Raymond was doted on heavily by his parents, older brother, and baby sister. They taught him the principles of being a good man, being kind, respecting women, etc. Which only made his parents wonder what they did wrong by raising their baby boy. 

Fos always had an obsession with power, taking any chance he’d get to blackmail his siblings to do what he wanted. Other than his siblings, he was friendly to everyone else. He was the popular kid in school, people did his homework for him, not that he couldn’t do it, it was because he didn’t care to do it. One thing he was good at was chemistry, enjoying making all sorts of compounds and acids.

He had become a salesman and later, a real estate agent, being able to find the right people to persuade into buying less-than-satisfactory properties. Fos also had a hobby of luring homeless people into his home, not before isolating them from the rest of their contact before killing them via locking them in a special room in his mansion and using white phosphorus to burn them alive until they were nothing but ashes, reveling in the muffled screams as they banged on the walls, too much that the outer walls of his house were soundproofed. Later on, he found it harder to commit his serial murder, stopping for a while. 

Ages ago, when the overlord status was just being established, an overlord and a Goetia demon had made the grimoire for future use. Many sought after this grimoire, the overlord being kidnapped and held by the other overlords for decades until the exterminations started. When the extermination started, he was thrown to the angels and killed. The Goetia demon fled to the human world to hide from the other overlords to keep them from learning information in the book. In the human world, the grimoire would be utterly useless except for one ritual, a binding ritual, doing the equivalent of selling your soul to the one who started the ritual. This book would be locked away in a cave with a spell protecting it. Overtime, this spell lost its effect, letting an explorer find the grimoire, which led to it being sold in an auction

Fos bought it on a whim. 

Fos had only gotten richer with the passing of his parents. He had a lot of money, not thinking much of it until he forgot to pay the electric bill and his house was out of power for a day and he resorted to reading books to satiate his boredom. Before he read the grimoire and used it he completely disregarded the existence of God, being a solid atheist.

Then he started to read the grimoire, practising the rituals and eventually adapting the book into a more “holy” version which was a very filtered version of the original. Using his newfound knowledge, he moved on to making a cult when he turned 30. At first, it started small, recruiting people he made to be friends and instilling an idea in their minds to slowly manipulate them and sell them on the idea that he is an angel sent from god. Later on, as the cult grew, he would perform the soul-binding ritual on all of his followers as a kind of baptism and indoctrination. The first ritual he performed killed his chances of heaven and his physical age in hell represents that even if he died at 47

The reason why this worked so well, was because the magic was real and something you could see, leading to people who were in the cult and “baptised” going to people they knew and bringing them to the next ritual which resulted in a cycle of people getting indoctrinated. Raymond would always perform these rituals, eventually learning how to perform a ritual where another person could perform it and they would still bind their souls to him. Though the going ons of the cult were still hidden from the vast majority, he only brought in suitable victims of the cult, not wanting too much attention.

Knowing that if any of his followers died and found themselves in hell they would probably attack him once they found him so he told them “I am the true messiah and the one the deceived call Jesus was the devil in disguise. He may have spoken truths, but I am the one you truly must follow,”. 

This wasn’t everything in the cult. Raymond would force the followers in the cult to be polyamorous, sleeping with any of the cult members who were of the age cult members and lighting up people who disobeyed him with white phosphorus, these murders were kept highly secret.

The constant rituals came at a cost, he slowly grew mad with each soul that was bound to him, and it affected his body, he may have been 47 by the time (1977) he died, but the insane amount of rituals caused him to age quicker, making him have a heart attack, but this wasn’t the thing that killed him, no he died by falling into the pit he used to burn the people he didn’t like with a glass container of white phosphorus. His followers watched in horror as he burned until every bit of his body was gone, eaten by the flames he used to burn others.

His presence in hell started as a boom, appearing in hell and hitting the ground as a glowing white ball of fire before he fully formed his form into a humanoid shape. Most of his followers were in hell due to their bind, Fos owning their souls if they weren’t killed by exterminators. Many made their place in hell and generally stuck together. Fos had his cult members go around hell after extermination, fighting for land and forcing them to do things that they never would have wanted, the view of him being a holy figure slowly and slowly being lost each time they were forced to kill, older members having lost hope.

I do have more info on him, but I'll show that off another time.

Absolute dirtbag

Inspo: Saul Goodman (Saul Goodman/ breaking bad), Reigen Arataka (mob psycho 100)

bonus: Fos's old design which I turned into one of the later members of his cult since he looked too basic. Flicker, the auditor. I also have a lot of info on him, but like Fos, I'll share that at a later date too.

inspo for him: The auditor (madness combat)

[tittyinfinity]

What I really don't understand about housing is that it's treated like a business and not something humans need to live. It's inhumane.

The US constitution says we have the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. You know what's required for those things? A place to live. Homelessness in itself is unconstitutional. And don't we all agree that everyone deserves a place to sleep? Don't we all agree that we don't want people on the streets?

Banks and landlords should not decide whether or not someone has a place to live.

Let's think about it this way.

This is the reality for a lot of people.

You owe money to your past landlord? Even if they lied about the circumstances? Sorry, no one can rent to you now because that money is more important than your & your kids' safety and going homeless. They "can't help it", they need their "business" to prosper, not you. They're not gonna get their money paid back any faster – in fact, now you have MORE expenses & it'll be a slower process.

Maybe the company that owns the place is worth millions and they won't be hurting at all without the money. Doesn't matter. You're going to be punished since you couldn't help make them richer. Their lives matter more than yours, sorry.

Now you're either couch hopping, living out of your car, or out on the streets. You have to find a way to pay back your landlord instead of saving up for another place. Now let's say you're on disability like I am, or in between jobs. You're having trouble getting someone to hire you or getting on any assistance because you no longer have a mailing address. You only have a few hundred bucks per MONTH to survive off of.

Maybe your landlord agrees to do a payment plan, but now you have to choose between having food & your other bills paid for or paying them a minimum $150-$200 a month, that they want delivered to them in person every time. Now you assume someone will rent to you because you have proof that you're paying it off, but you're losing money on application fees because they still won't work with you. You have to somehow come up with the money for the applications, a down payment, and first month's rent while also paying back your previous landlord in the off chance that someone MIGHT rent to you after you've already blown $300 on application fees.

Your landlord made the decision to make you homeless.

"Well they have to add that stuff to their rental record!" that record is only kept to work with other landlords to make sure that no one can have a place to live unless they're profitable. They're contributing to that system.

"But landlords need a way to make money too!" Here's a tip: find a real job. Owning something and receiving passive income from it is not a job. Your tenants are busting their asses at their real jobs just for you to take 1/3 of their income so you can live comfortably knowing that other people's labor is paying your bills.

EVERY HUMAN DESERVES THE RIGHT TO A PLACE TO LIVE.

Landlords are a class of people that should NOT EXIST. There is no reason we need a person that stands between us and owning a house – just to tell us what we can and can't do in the place we're paying for.

"But I can't afford a mortgage and need to rent!"

You're already paying off your landlord's mortgage and MORE. The housing market is the way it is because landlords drove the prices up. And this is where it's the bank's fault as well. You can't save up for a down payment because you're paying off someone else's mortgage; you can't get approved for a home loan because with the price of housing you have to be able to qualify for a larger amount than before, or maybe you happened to have one or two unexpected life events that lowered your credit score. The banks decide that their profit is more important than human lives, too.

The vast majority of us are only a couple of missed paychecks away from homelessness.

We can't keep complaining about homelessness while ignoring the root cause of the issue.

[80sdragonbreath]

How rich is "rich"??

You live in the US. Your income is maybe $30,000. You struggle to get by because everything is so. damned. expensive.

$100

Nice. You get to pay groceries for a week and pay that overdue bill.

$1,000

Excellent. Treat your friends to a meal, pay the rent.

$10,000

Not life changing yet, but you can sigh from relief that you can actually LIVE for 6 months, maybe even a year without worrying about every goddamn penny.

$100,000

Can't quite grasp how much that is. Could I maybe think of one day owning my own home?? Maybe I'll buy a newish car? Give my mom and dad the nicest birthday presents, maybe go on a vacation trip I have dreamed of.

$1,000,000 (Million)

Nope, don't know.

But I'll tell you this: most Republicans are millionaires, often multi-millionaires. They have several nice houses, maybe a yacht, and they aren't happy.

Gonna jump here:

$1,000,000,000 (Billion)

Most Democrats are Billionaires. Yes, they have 10x to 100x the wealth of the Republicans. They own large corporations. They aren't happy either.

$1,000,000,000,000 (Trillion)

There's a vast difference between the Clintons, who enjoy taking bribes of $400,000,000 (400 million) from the Saudis, and Musk, who is worth 2,000x that amount. Musk is worth half of the entire US gross domestic product.

But here's the jump again:

$1,000,000,000,000,000 (Quadrillion)

The Federal Reserve (or more strictly, the family that owns it!) is worth MORE than $1qdn. They are 1,000x richer than musk (and probably much richer). They OWN Musk, and everyone like him (there aren't that many Musks).

No one knows just how rich that family is, because they don't have to tell anyone, and they've crafted it that way. Any wonder why the Federal Reserve has never been audited, and never will be?

Each level of "rich" is envious of the level above it.

We're way down the bottom of the ladder, envious of the millionaires, and mult-millionaires. We think that Capitalism rests on their shoulders and that they are the greedy ones.

But we're aiming at the wrong people. Trump isn't your enemy. Sure, he's rich. Sure he's a dickhead. Sure, he's worth hundreds of millions. But he is being kept in check by the next level above him - the Democrats - who are billionaires! Trump is not one of them, and they do NOT want him to become that way.

But they are all small fry.

The family that owns the banks. They are the ones keeping Capitalism in place, keeping Corporatism running, keeping prices high, passing laws that favor them and their lawmakers, at the same time as making you poorer.

Don't waste your time fighting the low-level fraudsters like Trump.

Aim higher. Take down the banks. That's a more worthy goal.

[luckyandtheheartbreakers]

Hate and lies won the election. Trump ran on hate and lies and that's exactly what America wants. The US lives in a cycle where we hate and beat up on a small, easy target within society, blame them for everything, then repeat. It's happened many significant times throughout our history and Trump simply repeated it again, with great success.

He blamed trans people and South American immigrants for all our problems, blamed Biden for supporting them (even though he doesn't), and took his hate and lies to the bank to cash in. Easy.

Americans love to hate, live for it. The Christians hate everyone who isn't exactly like them in every way, the rich elite hate anyone trying to hold them accountable, the white supremacists hate that they can't be as openly racist as they once were and need someone to direct their racism at that both satisfies their bigoted worldview and moves the country closer to a fascist ethnostate.

Soon, these three major groups of Trump supporters will have to turn on each other, as right wing allies always have throughout history.

The biggest problem, of course, is that hate and lies cannot govern effectively, as we have seen with Trump's first administration being extremely unproductive (passing the fewest bills in history with record low jobs numbers and approval ratings), tripling our national debt in the progress while also letting over a million Americans die in a pandemic for financial gain.

As a historian and a student of sociology, it's extremely disheartening to see the people of the US fall for what may be one of the oldest tricks on the books. It will end the same way it has throughout history and many people in the US will be shocked, dismayed, confused and even revolted by what their country becomes, but those are the consequences of handing your country over to fascists because you're scared of immigrants and minorities doing things they have never and will never do.

I hope the hate and the lies are enough for those people to carry themselves through the difficult decades ahead.

Something I heard from a Trump supporter on the 5th really was disheartening. "There's never been a man like Trump leading a country. We're witnessing history in the making."

I have terrible news: there have always been men like Trump and their power has always come from hate and lies; we have seen this exact thing happen before in history. It has never ended well, not even for the people who cheer when they come into power.

Sure, Trump supporters will say he never lies, that he was the greatest president ever, that he only ever did amazing things for this country and that I'm full of shit. I don't blame them for feeling this way, it's how all the people who were tricked by despots before them have behaved. It's how all the supporters of fascism behave. They spurn education for propaganda, they reject reason and embrace dogma, they buy into lies because the truth requires the kind of integrity they're already willing to cast aside.

I cannot stress this enough: what we are seeing take place is not new. It has happened many times before in history and it always ends the same way. Suffering. Death. Lie after lie after lie until the foundational elements of what made that society what it is are all gone and all that is left is a cold, soulless machine that makes the rich richer.

We are seeing the kind of extremism that led to the heartbreaking indignities of the USSR, the irresponsible and self serving governance that led to the fall of the Shogunate, the greed and corruption that led to the dismantling of the Chinese Imperials, the hubris and lies that preceded the fall of Rome. The growing disparity between the rich and poor that collapsed the French Monarchy. The demonization of minorities and ethnic groups that led to the rise of the Third Reich and their Holocaust, soon to be succeeded, no doubt, by the warmongering and fraud that led to the implosion of the Third Reich.

To quote the immortal words of ABBA: "That history book on the shelf is always repeating itself."

[yetisidelblog]

Cryptocurrency has no real-world utility -- except for scams, money laundering, extortion, and speculative gambling. Yet, as Wall Street and Donald Trump become more enamored with crypto, the threat of a full-scale financial meltdown grows.

For some in the crypto world, that’s the point.

A rigged system, tailor-made for fraud, chaos, and unchecked profiteering: How could Trump resist? Once a vocal critic of crypto, he changed his attitude when the industry started flooding his 2024 campaign with cash. Now, he’s all in, ready to gut financial oversight, empower crypto billionaires, and make himself even richer in the process.

Trump’s allies -- the ultra-wealthy and politically connected -- want to use crypto to take financial power from elected governments and put it into their own hands. Now, ten states are poised to pass laws that would sink public pension funds into bitcoin.

Gambling with billions meant for teachers, firefighters, and other workers’ retirement security isn’t just reckless -- it’s an economic time bomb. Berkshire Hathaway CEO Warren Buffet expresses his skepticism about cryptocurrency in no uncertain terms:

“Stay away from it. It’s a mirage, basically. In terms of cryptocurrencies, generally, I can say almost with certainty that they will come to a bad ending.”

And yet, Wisconsin has already invested $162 million in bitcoin, setting a dangerous precedent that could lead to catastrophic losses.

Public retirement funds demand stability and long-term security -- the exact opposite of cryptocurrency’s wild volatility.Send a message to your governor: Veto any law that invests public pension funds in crypto!

Trump isn’t concerned with financial stability, if there’s an opportunity to cash in. In September, the Trump family launched "World Liberty Financial," a crypto lending and borrowing scheme that gives him a cut of every WLFI token sold -- and now he’s rewriting the financial rules to benefit himself.

Trump has packed key federal agencies with crypto insiders, naming digital currency promoter David Sacks as his “crypto-AI czar,” and putting crypto-fan Paul Atkins in charge of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Within days, the SEC quietly changed policy, allowing banks to avoid disclosing the risks of holding crypto assets for customers.

But that was just the start. Trump’s latest Executive Order hands crypto companies everything they want, including:

A promise to "protect and promote" the crypto industry

Giving himself power to create a national cryptocurrency stockpile

A ban on a government-backed digital currency, ensuring crypto billionaires keep control

A guarantee that crypto firms will get full access to banking services, no questions asked

Microsoft founder Bill Gates has concerns about how crypto will treat the ordinary investor:

“Elon [Musk] has tons of money and he’s very sophisticated, so I don’t worry that his Bitcoin will sort of randomly go up or down. I do think people get bought into these manias who may not have as much money to spare. My general thought would be that if you have less money than Elon, you should probably watch out.”

Once again, Trump and his billionaire backers are rigging the system for their own gain -- at the expense of everyone else. We must stop this reckless financial takeover before it spirals into a full-blown economic disaster -- starting with protecting workers’ pensions, before their lifetime savings are lost to the vagaries of an unfavorable algorithm.

Demand your governor veto any legislation that gambles public pension funds on crypto!

@upontheshelfreviews

@greenwingspino

@one-time-i-dreamt

@tenaflyviper

@akron-squirrel

@ifihadaworldofmyown

@justice-for-jacob-marley

@voicetalentbrendan

@thebigdeepcheatsy

@what-is-my-aesthetic

@ravenlynclemens

@writerofweird

@anon-lephant

@mentally-quiet-spycrab

@therealjacksepticeye

[lifechanyuan]

How About Turning 180 Degrees to See the Scenery?

Xuefeng

（Translation edited by Qinyou）

The troubles we face in life all stem from our own thoughts. When we can't figure things out, it's because we're tied up by mental knots. All suffering comes from our own mistaken perceptions, and every misfortune is of our own making. Ultimately, we are the ones responsible for our confusion, sorrow, and misfortune.

When we reach a dead end, why not turn 180 degrees and see how the scenery changes?

Very few people have never had suicidal thoughts. I've had them multiple times. Every time I felt like giving up, I’d think, “I refuse to commit suicide; let’s see what happens next.” With that shift in thinking, things would change. The next day, the sun would rise in the east again, the Earth would keep spinning, flowers would still bloom, and life remained full of beauty.

When someone I loved dearly left me and I felt heartbroken, I’d think, "Well, now I’m free!" Reading a story without a period can be exhausting, and wandering endlessly in a valley prevents you from seeing the beauty at the mountain's peak. The mountains may not move, but the water does. Set your sights on the next goal, and—wow!—it's even more exciting than the last one. Chase it!

Thinking about divorce? Go ahead! Who's afraid of whom? Without potassium fertilizer, can't I still grow yellow carrots? Without your slim arms, do you think I, a strong mountain, would ever run out of firewood? At worst, I'll guard my empty house alone. If no one cares about me, that’s even better—maybe I don't want them to.

Boss, you've fired me? Fine! Just wait. Fortune changes—six years from now, you'll be working for me as my deputy manager.

Child, you think your parents are a burden now? Fine! We, your parents, are here to repay our debts to you. Now that the debt is settled, we won’t worry about each other anymore. Even if we die in the fields, who cares if crows take our bodies or wolves devour them? We'll ascend to the celestial realms—let’s see how you’ll manage then.

You say God wants to punish me? Kid, don’t threaten me. Let God come speak to me directly.

Slandering the Buddha sends you to hell, you say? Have you ever seen the Buddha? Just returned from hell? How else would you know?

"You’re possessed by a ghost," you say? No, I think you are the ghost.

Can smoking, drinking, eating meat, and having a sex life prevent me from becoming a celestial being? Don’t be ridiculous. True celestial beings live without restrictions.

You’re filled with hate and want revenge? Not many people stay clean while rolling in donkey dung. A great man has a big heart—let it go! The one who doesn’t seek revenge is the true man, a glowing hero.

You think my shoes are ugly? Comrade, many people don’t even have shoes to wear.

You think I’m unattractive? Sir, being unattractive is not important. Look at those with disabilities—they’re much worse off.

You say I’m disabled? Dear, even though my body is disabled, my mind is healthy. Look at all those able-bodied people who commit suicide, go to jail, or live in misery, unable to eat or sleep. So, who’s truly disabled?

You say you eat better than me? I don’t believe you. Show everyone your poop and let’s see if it proves you eat better.

You say you’re more fashionable than me? I don’t believe you. Take off all the metal around your neck and ears, wash your hair and face, and let’s see how you look without clothes.

You say you’re richer than me? I don’t believe you. Let’s measure how much larger your sleeping space is compared to mine.

You say you have more power and status than I do? I don’t believe you. Let’s meet again in a hundred years and see.

You claim to be more famous than I am? I don’t believe you. Let’s take a magnifying glass and find out where your fame lies.

You say you own a lot? Maybe so, but let’s see who worries about bills at the end of the month. Let’s see who sleeps more soundly.

Worried because your child didn’t get into college? We don’t need to compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths. Comparison between people only causes frustration. Let’s compare health, filial piety, stability, and the suicide rates of college graduates versus ordinary people. Let’s see who lives a more peaceful, harmonious life.

Your husband is cheating, and you’re upset? Let him cheat, let him fly away—let’s see how far he can go. Besides, there are no men who don’t cheat—just make do with him.

Your wife is having an affair, and you’re angry? Pull out the radish; the pit remains. As long as her conscience is still there, just make do with her.

...

In short, when you find it hard to figure things out, try shifting your perspective and see how it looks from another angle. Of course, if you insist on overthinking and driving yourself into a dead end, you’ll only end up suffering in silence.