#every time i look at Frank i become a little more transgender

[petewentzsvaginabones]

me when i’m transgender

[unexpected-readings-of-poetry]

Ao3 Masterlist

Avatar: the Last Airbender

AtLA Masterlist

A separate masterlist post on my AtLA side blog. This list is updated as I upload new works, so I am linking it here rather than having to update and maintain two lists simultaneously

Avengers

Captain (of the football team) Steve Rogers

Tony gets picked on at school, but luckily his boyfriend is there to rescue him (stony)

Colour Me In Love

A side-effect of the Winter Soldier programming leaves Bucky able to see auras. Tony and Steve’s aura’s go pink whenever they look at each other, and for some reason, they both do the same when they look at him. (stuckony)

Doubt

When Tony wakes up to find an extra boyfriend whom he has no memories of, his first instinct is to try to escape whatever weird ass kidnappers have captured him this time. The only problem is, the boyfriend is real, and everyone else backs up the new guy. How does Tony deal with it? And what does his "real" boyfriend have to say about it? (stuckony)

Jealousy

Tony and Bucky flirt constantly, but they don't mean anything by it. Then one day it goes too far... (stony)

Bandom

A Change Of Pace Can Do A Man Some Good [Podfic] - story by wellthisisprettyrisque

Crossover with Avengers

Ryan Ross is the replacement for Pepper Potts because she got knocked up and New York just isn't safe anymore, not for a kid. And after acing the interview, Ryan's put on the job and forced to deal with the worst politicians America has to offer. The only way he gets through it is the amazing coffee joint he has claimed as his own and the cute male barista that smiles way too bright for so early in the morning. Adding Ray Toro's proposal, Frank Iero's relationship problems, Stark's inability to actually talk about all the stupid things in his head about a certain super soldier, he's kinda fucking exhausted.

My own works

All of my original bandom fics are pretty old and most of them are writing that I have outgrown so I won’t be linking them individually, but if you like Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, All Time Low, Twenty One Pilots and related bands, and if you like soulmate AUs, check out my Ao3 pseud fall_out_eboy

Merlin

Truth or Dare?

Merlin and Arthur’s first kiss

Incy Wincy

Arthur is afraid of spiders

Secrets To Keep

When Uther moves his family into an ancient castle, Arthur finds a boy in the catacombs who seems to have been there for centuries...

Arthur Enchanted [Podfic] - story by platonic_boner

Arthur is cursed to obey Merlin’s orders. Obviously this has very little impact on their lives, since no servant would ever dare give orders to a prince.

Harry Potter

I Wear Your Grandma’s Clothes

After finding out that one of his student's worst fears is another teacher, Remus Lupin confronts Snape.

Distortion [Podfic] - story by DorthyAnn

A magical experiment leaves a copy of Harry’s mind trapped inside a magical mirror. Draco Malfoy has a solution.

Where The Falcons Fly [Podfic] - story by MyNameIsThunder

Draco becomes a healer after the war. Quidditch star Harry Potter shows up at St Mungos much more regularly than he should. At first, Draco thinks it’s just his reckless streak and his post-traumatic death-wish, but is there something more at play? (Note: this podfic is currently not in progress. I may pick it up at a later date but at the moment I have no plans to continue any time soon.)

Dracy Malfoy and the Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist

Text and audio of an abandoned WIP in which Draco is the chosen one, raised by muggle lesbians, and also transgender. Also everyone else is queer, trans, disabled or a POC because representation is good, actually, and shouldn’t just be added posthumously. The podfic also contains discussion of why I abandoned this story and the fandom.

MDZS/CQL

Wearing Down Every Bone [Podfic] - story by CSHfic and VSfic

After running into Lan Zhan on a night hunt, Wei Wuxian is cursed to live the same day over and over and over.

Original works

Galaxy Brain

Very short sci-fi story in which I use no personal pronouns. Podfic is also available.

[lexthemondo]

Dirty Dancing {1}

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Park Jimin; Radio-host!Yoongi; Fem!Yoongi; Translator!Jimin; Alternate-universe!AU; Non-Idol!AU.

Warnings: Language, mentions of smut, violence, transgender character, mentions of suicide, eating disorder, talks of mental health, mentions of self-harm, talks of racial discrimination; POLITICS

Other Notes: V-Hope, NamJin, Sana of Twice is in this story, SanKook, Lisa of Blackpink is in this as well, Liskook, Trans!Hoseok

Summary: Local radio talk show host, Min Yoongi, has been running from his past for years, but when his closest friend Jung Hoseok introduces him to a handsome translator from Korea, Yoongi thinks he might have found something- or someone- to run to.

Song of the chapter: You’re So Cool, Jonathan Bree

Word count: 3,507

“Now I’ve had the time of my life…”

Yoongi sang along happily, letting his eyes close slowly as the lyrics flew out of his mouth. His body slowly started grooving along to the music, and without a second thought, he got off the couch and started dancing along with Johnny and Baby. Yoongi twirled around the living room without a partner, and barely missed trampling his precious Holly by mere inches.  

“You’re the one thing, I can’t get enough of…”

Yoongi continued to sing as his not-so-perfect dance moves made him feel invincible. He was on cloud nine, and it wasn’t until something cold and wet splashed on his feet that Yoongi snapped out of his daze. He groaned loudly, Holly’s water bowl was upside down and the freshwater was now soaking his carpet. Yoongi ran a hand through his hair and looked at the tv to see that his favorite part of the movie was coming up. Baby ran as fast as she could towards Johnny, and his strong arms lifted her up into the sky. Yoongi sighed and looked at the floor. Holly was licking his foot.  

“Holly,” He said sadly, “You’re lucky you’re a dog. You don’t have to find someone who can beat 1980s, Patrick Swayze.”

He got a small whine in response. “I know girl,” Yoongi bent down and picked up the toy poodle, “They don’t make them like they used to.”

Yoongi walked back to the couch, completely ignoring the mess, and plopped down. Holly curled up in his arms while he finished watching the last few minutes. Dirty Dancing was easily Yoongi’s favorite movie, he could recite it word-for-word at this point, and even being a hopeless dancer, he managed to engrave the choreography in his mind. It was at the part where Johnny is mouthing the words of the song to Baby when his phone chimed making Holly let out a squeaky bark.

“Hush, it’s not the doorbell,” Yoongi scolded, mentally reminding himself to change his notification tone.

Hobi [11:43 PM] Bonjour hyung!

Yoongi smiled fondly at the screen. Hoseok had been his closest friend since middle school. The pair were never apart, and even when Hoseok had come out to Yoongi and told him of their gender crisis, Yoongi had never turned his back to Hoseok. They had formed a bond, and when Hoseok had fallen in love with a foreign man during college, Yoongi did not feel anger when the two of them did not see one another as often. If Hoseok was happy then so was Yoongi.

Me [11:44 PM] Salut. What’s up? I thought you were with Tae.

Hobi [11:46 PM] Oh, I still am! He’s such a dreamboat, hyung! Propre sur lui, charment, tres beaux.

Me [11: 49 PM] Are you just going to talk about Tae because I’d like to know how your doctor’s appointment went. I’m sorry for not being able to come. I had to finish my script for tomorrow night’s show.

Hobi [11:55 PM]

No worries! Well, the surgery is going to cost a shit ton of money which I was expecting. That’s not really a problem. I have the money for it. The weird thing is… the doctor was kind of rude once I told him that I didn’t want breast implants

Yoongi felt his ear heating up. Most doctors reacted the same way. Hoseok’s decision to keep their flat chest was a popular topic at their support groups and therapist office. To keep it frank, it pissed Yoongi off. He knew how much it hurt his friend when someone downplayed their gender identity solely because they did not want fake breasts. Hoseok had explained to Yoongi that they had thought about it and realized that it was a decision that they were very firm on. Hoseok did not want implants, not because they were confused or having second thoughts, but because they were a professional gymnast. Hoseok was constantly surrounded by muscular women who had a chest like their own. Of course, this did not stop the weird glances at them once they let this little fact about themselves be known.

Me [11: 58 PM] Did you tell him your view on that whole situation? Maybe he was trying to see if you were serious because of how expensive a vaginoplasty is?

Hobi [11:59 PM] No…kind of seemed like he didn’t take me seriously after that.

Me [12:01 AM] Are you for real? What the hell happened?

Hobi [12:03 AM]

Yeah. He went from being supportive to trying to talk me out of the procedure. I just told him I would go somewhere else.

Hobi [12:06 AM] It wasn’t a great feeling at all

Hobi [12:15 AM] Kind of like I wasn’t woman enough to be getting a sex change. He even commented on the fact that I’m still going by my “male” name. I had to share personal shit with the guy. Then he misgendered me twice and even said it was odd that I wanted a sex change even though I don’t go by female pronouns. Like dude what the fuck?

Yoongi stared at his phone and felt the heat from his ears spread across his entire body.

Hobi [12:17 AM] Anyway, Taehyung’s friend from Korea is coming to France for a few weeks and he wanted to know if you were down for dinner with us. From what I’ve seen of him, he’s super cute 😉

Me [12:19 AM] Are you seriously trying to set me up with some dude right after telling me about some fucking asshole treating you like garbage when he’s supposed to be helping you? Really Hobi? Are you okay?

Hobi [12:21 AM] Yeah, I’m great. I’m used to this kind of shit by now. I don’t completely blame the guy for being hesitant. It is a life-altering surgery. I won’t be able to go back afterward. I didn’t appreciate the comments about my sexuality or the misgendering, but my entire transition has been a wild ride for everyone involved. Even you. I promise you that I’m okay. I would’ve called you crying by now if not and we both know it lol. Are you coming or not?

Yoongi felt himself cooling down. His heart filled with adoration for the woman Hoseok had become. It had been a very confusing and hard journey to get where they are now, but Yoongi was so proud of his friend. Hoseok had gone from ��Henri,’ the only other French-Korean kid in Dijon, to ‘Henri’ the “flaming gay” in middle school, and finally Hoseok, the professional gymnast in their woman’s league during their freshman year at university. Yoongi would always cherish those memories. Though they had been the hardest times of his life, and even harder for Hoseok, he would not change a single thing. Those were the days that gave him the most important person in his life.

Me [12:26 AM] Yeah, I’ll be there. Is it just me, you, Tae, and his allegedly cute friend?

Hobi [12:27 AM] Those are the definite ones, yes. Kook said him and Sana might drop by before they go back to Japan

Me [12:29 AM] Great.

Hobi [12:31 AM] I’m not happy about it either. I don’t like her any more than you do, but Jungkook is Taehyung’s best friend and I’ll put up with her so they can see one another.

Me: [12:32 AM] I miss Lisa. Kook seemed happier, and he is miserable in Japan. Jungkook misses France. Jungkook misses Lisa. I wouldn’t be surprised if he snuck out to see her.

Hobi [12:34 AM] Everyone misses Lisa, hyung. If Kook’s willing to deal with Sana, then let’s let him be happy. We can’t bring up his ex every chance we get just because we don’t like Sana. But that doesn’t mean I’m not team Lisa all the way.

Hobi [12:37 AM] Oh, he hasn’t...yet. We did make reservations at the most wonderful Korean restaurant in town though. Who knows, maybe a certain Kim Namjoon’s little cousin will be waiting tables... and our table just might be in her section as told to me by the uncle’s husband himself. Apparently, Lisa got a phone call last night and ran out during closing. I think she was running after her white rabbit.

Me [12:38 AM] Team Lisa > Team Sana

Me [12:47 AM] I do love Jin’s lamb skewers. I don’t know Hobi. That seems like we’re stepping over certain boundaries. Jungkook is a grown man. He’s not our little bunny boy anymore. You know that. Whatever is going on between him and Lisa is between them. Sana is his girlfriend. I don’t like her, I don’t think I ever will, and you just said you were going to play nice. All this is going to do is stress out Kook, piss off Sana, and really hurt Lisa. So, please don’t make her wait our table and give Sana another reason to keep Jungkook as far away from Dijon as possible.

Hobi [12:40 AM] I hate it when you’re reasonable. Look, I understand that and all, but Sana is hardly a girlfriend. Kook doesn’t even smile when she’s around. I don’t want them together. I want him to dump her and get his head back on and get with the most perfect girl. I’m going to make this happen Yoongi, one way or another I always get my way. Anyway, I’m tired. What are you talking about tomorrow? Make sure to message me when you’re about to start. You’re my only source of entertainment when Tae’s at work. Get some sleep, you need it. No more all-nighters. Thanks for being wonderful and supportive. Don’t worry about me so much! I love you~~~~~~ niiiiiight!

Me [12:41 AM] I know you’re trying to help him, but please just let Jungkook figure these things out on his own. I’ll talk to him if that’ll make you feel better... just don’t put Lisa through that. You know how she feels about him and seeing him there with a supermodel on his arm is going to destroy her. Do you really think Jungkook deserves Lisa after all he did? Do I miss them? Yes, but I understand that everything changes. Let her move on and let Jungkook become an adult on his own. We’re talking political parties and shit. Namjoon’s idea. It’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. You’re going to pass out within the first two minutes. Sadly, I don’t have a funny or entertaining story to tell, and Joon really wants any excuse to rag on the communist party. I don’t blame the guy, but I hate talking about the same shit repeatedly. I’ll text you. I’m out of my pills and melatonin doesn’t work. Not a problem. I’ll always worry about you. You too. Night.

Yoongi tossed his phone on the coffee table in front of him. Not even flinching when the impact made a loud clang. Holly jumped, suddenly startled, and hid her face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck. He laughed, although he didn’t make a sound, and began to soothe his puppy.

“It’s alright Holly,” He said, lightly stroking her curly hair, “It’s nothing. I’ll protect you from the vicious sound demons. I promise.”

Then, without a second of hesitation, Holly turned her head and gave Yoongi a big lick on the mouth.

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“Good show tonight,” Yoongi said, flipping his hair behind his shoulders in search for a rubber band. “I can’t say the same for my hair, though. I have to go to dinner with Hoseok and Tae tonight, they’re trying to hook me up with some rando.”

“Tragic,” Najoonn replied, raising an eyebrow and picking up his duffel bag from off the floor.

“Cool it with the whole ‘being an asshole’ thing you got going on,” Yoongi looked at Namjoon and then the coffee cup in his hand, and then back again, “What’s the matter? You’re not usually this pissy.”

“Fucking Jin. He keeps on saying that Jungkook and Lisa are getting back together. It’s pissing me off. The guy is in Japan with some model now. Lisa was just starting to get back to normal and now I hear this prick is coming for a visit. I don’t get it. If he doesn’t want to be with Lisa, then why won’t he leave her alone?”

Yoongi pursed his lips and looked at the ground. He was not sure how to respond. He loved Namjoon dearly, and Lisa as well, but picking sides was not his style. He knew that Jungkook had hurt Lisa, which in turn, turned half of their old group against him, but Yoongi was aware of Lisa’s faults as well. He was a bad listener, but she was a control freak. When Lisa would make a mistake, Jungkook would be uncontrollably angry, but when the roles were reversed, she was spiteful. They were not picture-perfect, but for every bad thing that had ever happened at least a hundred, good things did. They were happy until the very end. Until Jungkook abruptly ended things and moved to Japan. Until he was on the cover of magazines. Until he was with Sana.

“Joon, look,” Yoongi began, finally finding his hair tie and wrapping his hair up haphazardly. “Lisa and Kook are grown, and for your information, it wasn’t just your husband making all this planning. Who do you think put the bug in his ear?”

Namjoon rolled his eyes and wiped his hand down his face, “Hoseok.”

“Bingo. Don’t worry, we’ve been talking about this for the past three days. I convinced them to let me handle the situation and just talk to Jungkook. I just want to see where his mind’s at. They’re just trying to help.”

“Help?” Namjoon stood up hastily, fumbling a bit, his cigarettes falling out of his lap. “Do they think any of this is going to be good for my baby cousin? No, of course not. All they care about is Jungkook and how he feels. He left Lisa. He hurt her. Why are they so worried about him when he’s a rich model with a rich model girlfriend?”

“Because he’s miserable, Joon.” Yoongi replied.

Namjoon’s expression fell. Yoongi could almost hear the “you may speak now” when he looked into his friend’s eyes. Namjoon was getting defensive, and when he gets defensive there is nothing you can do but let him get it out and move on. If you do not leave it alone, then he becomes excited and angry, a real hot-head, and when it is all over, he will not speak to you for at least two weeks. Luckily for Yoongi, however, he and Namjoon work together every day. He could not escape him even if he wanted to.

“I know Lisa is your cousin, I get it. You need to remember that you used to be the one that would talk to Jungkook when he was down. You were his favorite. He looked up to you like a God. You were the big brother he never had and the father he always wanted. He is miserable. Miserable enough to call Lisa the first night he gets to Dijon to meet with him. Miserable enough to come back home knowing that his best friend hates him. Miserable enough to sit at a table with half of the people he cares about not there because of him. Jungkook is not happy, and Sana is nothing more than a distraction. You know that as much as I do.

“I agree with you, Joon. Lisa deserves so much better and I have tried time and time again to reach out to her, but she won’t answer my calls. You and Jin are the only two people who she speaks to, she avoids us like the plague and didn’t even have the decency to tell Hoseok she wanted to switch gyms until the last minute when she knew they needed her for competition. But the second Jungkook is in town she drops everything she’s going to see him. She is a grown woman. I’m mad at them both. Stop making the boy feel guilty for breaking up with someone.”

“Lisa is not ‘just someone’ Min Yoongi,” Namjoon picked up his cigarettes, slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, and walked away, roughly shoulder swiping Yoongi on his way out. “Have a nice time at dinner. Hope your new boy toy doesn’t end up like the last.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Yoongi replied, but the door was already slamming shut.

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Yoongi checked his appearance in the car mirror once again. His hair had been tied up to hide how awful it looked after wearing a beanie for the entire show, and he was still skeptical of his makeup. He never did the best job when he was angry. After touching up his eyebrows and mascara that he had put on that morning before going to work, he lightly concealed his under eyes and the small acne scars that dotted his cheekbones, powdered, and applied a generous amount of lip gloss to his lips. He was nervous that the small light in his car was deceiving him into thinking he looked better than he did, but it was too late to fix anything. He was already running late.

He stumbled out of his truck, ankles almost giving out and he could not figure out if it was a bad hop or the heels, he picked out specifically so he would not bust his ass.

“Of course, I fall,” He said to himself, “I should know that always happens when I try to look cool.”

He knew Hoseok was there the second he walked in. He did not have to see them to know they were there. That laugh was distinct and the Korean flying out of their mouth only solidified that fact. He followed the sounds to a little booth in the back of the restaurant, a small divider giving the party some privacy. Yoongi gave it to Jin, at least they would not bother the entire restaurant…hopefully.

“Hyung!” Taehyung exclaimed, his smile widening in a cute box shape, and it reminded Yoongi just how boyish he was. “You’re here!”

“I said I was coming, didn’t I?” Yoongi replied, finding a seat at the floor table.

“Well, you were late so I wasn’t sure you would show up.” Hoseok added, giving Yoongi a dirty look.

“Don’t look at me like that. I can’t control traffic or Namjoon’s bitch fits at the end of the day. I’m sorry I fucked with you OCD, though.”

“Geez,” Hoseok rolled their eyes, “What was his problem this time?”

“The whole Jungkook situation. He got pissed off that I was coming to dinner with you guys even though Kook would be here. Things escalated from there. He brought him up, too.”

“He did what?” Hoseok’s eyes widened, and slammed their drink on the table, “Are you serious? That bastard.”

“Eh, this is Joon we’re talking about. The most melodramatic person on the planet. It’s no biggie. Anyway,” Yoongi looked around, “where’s this ‘attractive’ friend of yours, Tae?”

“Oh, he went out for a smoke. He should be back in a minute.”

“You’re hooking me up with a smoker? Really? That’s gross.”

“Smoking is the dirtiest thing that boy does,” Hoseok defended, “Just give him a chance. Jimin’s your type. Small, fair, funny, sweet, and his butt is nice. He used to be a dancer before becoming a translator for advertising companies in Seoul and let me tell you… you’re going to change that tone when you see him.”

“See who?” Someone suddenly piped, making Yoongi flinch and turn his head.

He turned around and there he was. The small, fair, funny, sweet, dancing angel. His lips were full and plush, his nose small and slightly flat, but still buttoned enough to frame his face, his eyes shined a warm, chocolate brown, and his hair was a charcoal black. His skin almost glowed and not a single imperfection was insight. Yoongi suddenly felt very insecure. He was hyperaware of the coffee stains on his pants and the fact that he was wearing a five-year-old thrift store shirt with small holes in certain spots, while Jimin was dressed to the nines in the most casual way possible, black jeans, a black button-up, and some worn black dress shoes.

“Oh!” He exclaimed, and Yoongi melted at the sound of his voice, “Pardon me. I’m Jimin Park. You must be Yoongi. Hoseok has told me so much about you.”

Yoongi almost laughed out loud at the awful accent Jimin had when he spoke French, but simply smiled and shook his hand.

“I speak Korean. Don’t worry, it takes a lot more than going out for a smoke break to get me worked up.” 

He was shocked, the words falling from his lips completely backtracking from what he has just told Hoseok.Yoongi could only imagine the shit-eating grin on their face right now. I told you so. Yes, yes you did, he thought.

Jimin sighed and returned the smile, “You know, those two kept trying to tell me that you were cute, but they didn’t do the best job at explaining just how cute you actually, are.”

[aroworlds]

I just want to let you all know that my health still isn’t good: I spent awareness week struggling with insomnia (not to mention before and now after) and trying to cope with making content for it while operating on almost no sleep just about broke me. I’m glad I did it, but I’ve spent this week trying to recover from it, and I struggle to find the energy needed to talk to people when I’m that worn out.

Right now, I’m trying to figure out more about transition options and support as a queer, transgender person, since it’s been made clear to me that my current environment is not ever going to be truly supportive. This week I had a really good conversation with my GP so my new pronouns are as officially on the system as they can be (with a system that doesn’t really support it, but at least referrals will correctly refer to me) and a conversation about my queerness that was summed up as “sexual attraction irrespective of gender, romantic attraction to nobody, no gender”. It’s not completely accurate because you all know I’m abrosexual, but given that I mostly use queer like a safety blanket in offline conversations, it’s as accurate as I get to someone who doesn’t already know me. I’m looking for a new psychologist, and there’s a few queer-centred clinics in my state’s capital (Melbourne, Australia) I’ll be checking out.

The extreme degree of lack of sleep is almost certainty a response to everything that’s happened this year with regards the incredible invalidation from my former psychologist and family, but it’s making it hard. If autism makes a lot of the above difficult, insomniac autistic cranks the playing level right up!

I’ve been thinking about the direction of this blog, since I would like to open up the ask box again. The problem is that this blog was becoming a little more community-conversation-support-and-validation than is easy for me to handle. It takes a lot of spoons to be available to provide that kind of response and support, and there is always going to be a greater need for it than I am able to provide. To be frank, it’s overwhelming to me to constantly see it in my inbox and my messages, and that’s not something I well handle as an autistic.

I’m a creative. I write, I sew, I scrapbook, I design, I make. I’m hampered by my disabilities and an inability to have or afford real workarounds in terms of accessibility aids, but as much as I am able to, I make things. I was quietly proud of myself during awareness week for being able to get past the “I can’t do it perfectly so why do it at all” tendency of mine to make pride-related pieces that weren’t perfect (lack of tape, time, editing, fabric, marker pens) but still existed, as that’s something hard for me. And it meant the world to me to see some of those pieces get likes and reblogs!

My highest shape of activism is always going to be creative media, yet this blog, combined with the limitations of my disabilities, was making it harder for me to do that. It’s not coincidental that I’m able to write more stories with the ask box closed!

The other problem is that a lot of the conversations I was getting more concerned aro-ace folks, aro-ace experiences and aro-ace relationships to the aro-spec, ace-spec and a-spec communities. I’m not saying that you don’t need or deserve the support, and it is by no means wrong that anyone sought this out, but I felt like I was providing more reassurance to folks with issues that don’t impact me in quite the same way, without the time to talk about my own needs (because I am disabled, my spoons are limited and I never had the ability to do both the way I wanted). That felt like I was working more to support other people than I was to support myself; my activism slowly moved further and further away from my own needs in the aro-spec and a-spec communities.

I hope folks appreciate that providing reassurance, validation and support to fellow community members is a lot of work--something that takes a lot of time, a lot of physical ability, a lot of physical energy, a lot of emotional ability, and a lot of emotional energy. It’s work, it’s skilled work, and it’s hard work--something I don’t think we always stop and acknowledge in activist spaces where the need of people to be supported is sometimes pushed ahead of the ability for people to provide it. Particularly when the people who are doing this work are unpaid, often unsupported in their providing of this work while at the same time being applauded for it, and have to face a never-ending need for it should they begin to offer it.

I’ve had asks that have distressed and triggered me, asks that need all the empathy and validation I can provide but at the same time distress me to the point where I can’t cope myself. Where do I go to talk about that? Where do I go to find help? I can’t write a post about it here; that would hurt the person who needs help and has done nothing wrong in seeking it. Psychologists see other psychologists for support, but we have a grassroots situation where folks are providing nearly the same sort of work on an untrained, volunteer basis, for a community in incredibly desperate need of it and can’t actually go to a psychologist who doesn’t understand aromanticism, without any kind of support network ourselves.

Without that, it’s very difficult not to succumb to overwhelm and burnout ... and for much the same reasons folks came to my ask box, I can’t easily see a psychologist myself for coping with this, or afford to do so as frequently as I need even if/when I do find someone supportive.

I think a good thing for the aro-spec community to discuss would be the ways we can support other community members in their community-support-and-community-building activities, in terms of making sure that the people who are working to build our communities are physically and emotionally safe, have spaces where we can discuss the challenges and problems in providing community support--in the same way psychologists also have these support networks--and have their labour acknowledged in the sense of our promoting their PayPal, Ko-fi and Patreon accounts (it’s hard to manage the emotional work of providing deserved support for our own when we’re panicking over having $5 in our bank accounts and a $100 bill to pay next month). We shouldn’t be taking it for granted that the people who are helping prop us up can do so unaided, not when we all know the struggles we face in a capitalist, amatonormative world. Let’s please acknowledge this, not just for me but for every other aro-spec who is putting their works out in posts, answering asks and creating the content we need and appreciate.

Let’s do our best to support the people who are supporting us and have open conversations about the struggles and stresses of activism, because I honestly feel that the only options for me include shutting down the inbox forever, being seen as selfish and demanding if I talk about the problems of being a source of support because I’m supposed to be helping people, quitting the blog entirely, or struggling through it all until I shatter.

In the meantime, though, as a disabled aro-spec, I have to draw a line.

For me, this comes back to what I want to do--run a blog about aro-spec creativity while making more original aro-spec creative content--and activism that directly concerns and impacts me. That means, specifically, allo-aro activism, because I’m increasingly finding a disconnect between general aro-spec approaches and my own needs. Activism for aro generally isn’t resulting in a-spec spaces that feel safe for me, and that’s where I want to direct my conversations.

For this blog, @aroworlds, I’d like the ask box to be an easy way folks can recommend media, discuss content, squee about something cool they read/saw/heard/found, share pride merch, give their thoughts on something with regards representation or creativity. I won’t say that I won’t make my own posts about activism here and there, but I’d like to get back to a focus on creativity. I am asking, therefore, that people please keep messages, submissions and asks to topics of aro-spec creativity and creative media. I am no longer taking support-providing asks, community information asks or community terminology asks on this blog.

For my other blog, @alloaroworlds, I’m happy to have more conversations about aro-spec community issues, identity experiences and creative media as concerns allo-aros. This is where I want to focus my activism outside of creative media, and this is where I want to have community-issue conversations. I’m not yet at a point where I’m really able to provide much in the way of emotional support, but if I ever get my life to a point where I can, that’s where I’ll be providing it. In the meantime, though, let’s talk the aro-spec and a-spec communities and where allo-aros fit into them--and anything else allo-aros want to talk about.

Thank you so much for reading this monster of a post, my lovely followers. I won’t be opening up the ask box here today or even this week, but I will hope to be soon. Because I really do miss folks telling me about something cool they’ve found, and I hope we can get back to that and other projects and discussions focusing on aro-spec creativity.

In the meantime, if folks could wish for me a week where I sleep every night, I would be exceptionally grateful!

[galacticpunchbowl]

What is Space Hotel?

Hello there, and welcome to Space Hotel!

This blog is run by the series’ creator - Eddie Francisco. My production team is known as Galactic Punch Bowl. 

This blog started several years ago chronicling the creation of an upcoming animated webseries called Space Hotel. The very first post I made described the series, but it was so long ago that it’s outdated by now.

Here, let’s start fresh again!

The idea for Space Hotel started several years back circa 2013 (and this blog started soon thereafter). I had an idea for a comedy sci-fi cartoon that follows the everyday aggravations of working at a boring desk job in space. Space Hotel is an interstellar hotel in a dome that traverses the Milky Way Galaxy. It’s a place where travelers come to rest on their long journeys, or take some time off in the resort-like atmosphere.

A Little Fictional Background:

Space Hotel takes place in the far future, the year 3,000. Earth has become a backwater planet as all of its people left to explore the galaxy. The remaining humans on Earth were stringent conservatives who ended up closing off the entire planet.

The future presented in the show is basically progressive. Nobody bats an eye at you being gay or transgender, etc. One of the main characters, Chett Vangelis (pictured further below), is a trans woman detective. In space.

I guess I kind of thought of the meme “This is the future that liberals want” and decided to literally take that further.

But while the future is socially progressive, of course not everything is peaceful. You have your assholes and your warmongers. And there’s always going to be a dead end job for someone to do, despite the growth of automation. There’s always going to be some familiar, relatable story.

What the Show is About:

The series primarily follows the front desk clerk Job McCony. Job’s story, in fact, is that he has yet to go to college because he first needs to pay of his great-ancestor’s college debt. Feeble, worrisome, and unsure of himself, Job will have to put up with a lot at his new job.

He’s paired up with a green slimy alien at the front desk named Krikkit Krustolix - a mean spirited alien who despises all of humanity. Krikkit may not do any actual work at the front desk but he wastes no time in letting Job know just how much he hates him, and how he could exploit the new guy to shift the blame on him.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s Mally Morrison. He never once hated his job as head custodian. He could be cleaning the slimiest gunk in the bathroom and whistle joyfully. His oblivious nature and endless joy for working at a dead end job is a constant source of annoyance for Job (and everyone else really).

Frank Nicks - the manager of Space Hotel. He has been managing the hotel for quite some time now, inheriting it at its lowest point. The galaxy seems to be more impressed with other attractions besides Space Hotel. As such, Frank works to transform Space Hotel into Space Resort - if he could find the money. And the attention span. He’s a tinkerer. A self-made man. And always jumps from one idea to the next. He often resorts to lucrative schemes that seem like a good idea at first. . .

Then there’s Topps - a hyper-realistic sentient android who serves as the “Sentient Resources” representative of the hotel. She always makes sure everything is in order. She really acts more as a manager than Frank. Despite being a state-of-the-art android, she often ends up breaking down because her emotion chip cannot handle Job, Krikkit, Mally and their antics.

Trisha - the lone security officer. Trisha would much rather be out there working for Space Patrol chasing down criminals across the galaxy. But her desire to shoot first and ask questions later prevents her from successfully passing the Space Patrol entrance exam.

Chett Vangelis - the Space Patrol detective. She’s a frequent guest at the hotel being that everybody at her job is secretly fed up with how smart she is, and thus seldom assign her cases. Chett doesn’t believe in chance and seeks to uncover the mysteries of the universe in her free time. Such as, why does it seem like when you’re trying to find something you instead ALWAYS find something else you were looking for before? Is it possible to intentionally find something by intentionally not trying to find it? Chett’s on the case.

And last but not least - Livia Stargaze. A mysterious figure seen around the hotel. Sometimes her highlights are pink, other times green, and then one day she may be a brunette entirely. Who is she? What does she do? Why does she always have a wry smile? Well, we’ll just have to wait and see won’t we?

Where We’re at Now:

We’ve started a GoFundMe to help animate the first ten episodes of Space Hotel. It’s a hefty goal but every little bit counts. We’ve got one animator on board named “Neuroddic”, whose work you will see very shortly on here, as well as work from other artists we’ve got working for us. The animator Anya (helloplanetpack) helped out with the trailer and the artwork you see here! Unfortunately, she couldn’t stick around for longer.

The entire main cast is already prepared with voice actors. The scripts are written. All we need really is to bring the series to life.

If you or anyone you know is an animator and wishes to partake in this endeavor (you will be paid of course), feel free to contact me directly via tumblr or the email in the description. We are also always interested in hearing new voices for other, future characters.

This blog will showcase the characters and stories of Space Hotel, Eddie’s musings while he happens to brainstorm for new stories, and reblogging anything cool that inspires us (retro-futurism is the style). 

So we hope you enjoy your stay!

[berniesrevolution]

You will not be surprised to be told that Tucker Carlson’s new book, Ship of Fools: How a Selfish Ruling Class Is Bringing America to the Brink of Revolution, contains a series of attacks on diversity, immigration, feminism, and “identity politics.” You may, however, be surprised to be told that the book contains high praise for Ralph Nader, quotes from Studs Terkel, laments the disappearance of the anti-capitalist left, and presents Jeff Bezos as one of its central villains. Carlson has written a book that is as staunchly nationalist as one would expect. Yet it’s also a little bit socialist.

Carlson’s basic framework would commonly be described as “populism.” There are the people, and then there are the “ruling class” elites. The rich and powerful care only about themselves. They do not care about Middle America, and have presided over the opioid epidemic, the hollowing out of industrial towns, and exploding inequality. Meanwhile, ordinary workers suffer. At times, he almost sounds like Bernie Sanders. His analysis is persuasive, well-written, and often funny. It’s also terrifying, because elsewhere in the book, Carlson makes it clear: he wants a white-majority country, thinks immigrants are parasitic and destructive, misses traditional gender hierarchies, and dismisses the significance of climate change. Carlson’s political worldview is destructive and inhumane. Yet because it has a kernel of accuracy, it will easily tempt readers toward accepting an alarmingly xenophobic, white nationalist worldview. Carlson’s book shows us how a next generation fascist politics could co-opt left economic critiques in the service of a fundamentally anti-left agenda. It also shows us what we need to be able to effectively respond to.

First, let’s look at the parts that are most right, and perhaps most unexpected. In an analysis almost identical to that of leftists like Thomas Frank, Carlson says that Republicans and Democrats are now both beholden to corporate power. Sometime in the 1990s, Carlson says, he began wondering “why liberals weren’t complaining about big business anymore,” and had started celebrating “corporate chieftains” like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and the Google guys. Ralph Nader should be a hero to all liberals, spending his days “greeting a parade of awestruck liberal pilgrims” from a retirement home. Instead, he is “reviled,” even though “every point Nader made was fair” and “some were indisputably true.” Suddenly “both sides were aligned on the virtues of unrestrained market capitalism… left and right were taking virtually indistinguishable positions on many economic issues, especially on wages.”

The “prolabor” Democrats, Carlson says, were “empathetic and humane” and “suspicious of power.” But today they have disappeared, and the party of the New Deal is now a party of Wall Street. Carlson points out that Hillary Clinton won wealthy enclaves like Aspen, Marin County, and Connecticut’s Fairfield County (the hedge fund capital of the country). “Employees of Google, Facebook, Apple, Microsoft, and Amazon donated to Hillary over Trump by a margin of 60-to-1,” and while “Seven financial firms donated 47.6 million to Hillary,” they gave Trump “a total of $19,000, about the price of a used pickup.”

As a result, Carlson says, Democrats are now largely silent on labor issues: “When was the last time you heard a politician decry Apple’s treatment of workers, let alone introduce legislation intended to address it?” Corporations make vaguely “socially liberal” noises, like decrying gun violence and being pro-LGBT, and as a result escape criticism for mistreating their workers or contributing to economic inequality. Carlson cites Uber, which has prominent liberal Arianna Huffington on its board and has had to commit to reforming its “bro culture.” And yet it still treats its drivers like crap:

“[Uber is] running an enormously profitable business on the backs of exploited workers… An obedient business press [has] focused on the ‘flexibility’ Uber’s contractors supposedly enjoyed. … [But] Feudal lords took more responsibility for their serfs than Uber does for its drivers… Uber executives weren’t ashamed… They sold exploitation as opportunity, and virtually nobody called them on it.”

What happens, Carlson says, is that corporations “embrace a progressive agenda that from an accounting perspective costs them nothing.” They are, in effect, purchasing “indulgences from the church of cultural liberalism.” Sheryl Sandberg published Lean In and Mark Zuckerberg is floated as a possible Democratic presidential candidate, but Facebook is an evil corporation to its core. Sean Parker has admitted that Facebook was engineered to be addictive, that its designers thought: “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?… We need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once it a while.. To get you to contribute more content.” Carlson notes that the company commits “relentless invasions of the public’s privacy,” and that epidemiologists have linked the product “with declining psychological and even physical health.” Carlson writes:

“Evidence has mounted that Facebook is an addictive product that harms users, and that Zuckerberg knew that from the beginning but kept selling it to unknowing customers. Those facts would be enough to tarnish most reputations, if not spark congressional hearings. Yet Zuckerberg remains a celebrated national icon.”

We know Facebook is manipulating people’s emotions to sell advertising, and yet we still get headlines like “How To Raise The Next Mark Zuckerberg.” Or look at Amazon. Jeff Bezos supported Hillary Clinton for president, yet “no textile mill ever dehumanized its workers more thoroughly than an Amazon warehouse.” Carlson asks: “when was the last time you heard a liberal criticize working conditions at Amazon?… “Liberals and Jeff Bezos [are now] playing for the same team.” Successful businessmen “pose as political activists,” and pitch their products as woke. That way: “affluent consumers get to imagine they’re fighting the power by purchasing the products, even as they make a tiny group of people richer and more powerful. There’s never been a more brilliant marketing strategy.” He goes on:

“The marriage of market capitalism to progressive social values may be the most destructive combination in American economic history. Someone needs to protect workers from the terrifying power of market forces, which tend to accelerate change to intolerable levels and crush the weak. For generations, labor unions filled that role. That’s over. Left and right now agree that a corporation’s only real responsibility is to its shareholders. Corporations can openly mistreat their employees (or “contractors”), but for the price of installing transgender bathrooms they buy a pass. Shareholders win, workers lose. Bowing to the diversity agenda is a lot cheaper than raising wages.”

Carlson mocks the “socially liberal” Davos elite who hand-wring about inequality while reaping its fruits. He points to the example of Chelsea Clinton, who talked nobly about her values (“I was curious if I could care about [money] on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t… That wasn’t the metric of success that I wanted in my life”) before buying a $10 million, 5,000 square foot apartment in the Flatiron District that spanned an entire city block. Chelsea Clinton’s career, for Carlson, shows how contemporary believers in “meritocracy” benefit from an unjust and nepotistic system: Clinton was paid $600,000 a year as a “reporter” for NBC despite appearing on the network for a sum total of 58 minutes. The bubble of privilege that many elites inhabit was exemplified in Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, which suggested that “Things in America are Fine.” (The slogan was actually “America Is Already Great.”) Carlson is not wrong here: Hillary Clinton herself was so out of touch that she is still saying things like “I won the places that represent two-thirds of America’s gross domestic product… So I won the places that are optimistic, diverse, dynamic, moving forward.”

Carlson also says that there has been a troubling tendency for both sides to embrace the military-industrial complex. Key Democratic figures supported the Iraq War (e.g. Feinstein, Kerry, Clinton, Biden, Edwards, Reid, Schumer). It was New York Timesreporters who contributed to scaremongering about Saddam in the leadup to the war, the New York Times op-ed page where you can find contributions like “Bomb Syria, Even If It’s Illegal” or “Bomb North Korea, Before It’s Too Late,” and New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman who said that Iraq War had been “unquestionably worth doing” because it told Middle Easterners to “suck on this.” Barack Obama (who was given the Nobel Peace Prize, Carlson says, for “not being George W. Bush”) killed thousands of people with drones, including American citizens, prosecuted whistleblowers, kept Guantanamo open, and failed to rein in the vast global surveillance apparatus. Hillary Clinton pushed aggressively for military action in Libya, which destabilized the country. There is a D.C. consensus, Carlson says, and it is pro-war. Some of the book’s most amusing passages come when Carlson flays neoconservative hacks like Max Boot and Bill Kristol, who have now become allies of the Democratic Party in paranoia about Russia. Boot’s career, he says, publishing articles like “The Case for American Empire” and advocating invasion after invasion, shows us how “the talentless prosper, rising inexorably toward positions of greater power, breaking things along the way.” The hawkish consensus is no joke, though, and Carlson says he misses the liberal peaceniks, who “were right” when they warned that “war is not the answer, it’s a means to an end, and a very costly one.”

To many on the left, everything Carlson says here will be familiar. The phenomenon he’s pointing to, by which Democrats and Republicans both became free market capitalists,  has a name: neoliberalism. Larry Summers was quite open about it when he said that “we are now all Friedmanites.” Carlson’s point about how corporations whitewash exploitative practices by appearing socially progressive is one leftists make frequently (see, for example, Yasmin Nair’s essay “Bourgeois Feminist Bullshit” and Nair and Eli Massey’s “Inclusion In The Atrocious“). The foreign policy stuff is a little off: it’s not that Democrats used to be pacifists, since the Vietnam tragedy was initiated by JFK and expanded by Lyndon Johnson. Empire has always been a bipartisan project, antiwar voices in the minority. Aside from the suggestion that this is new, it’s accurate to say that American elites have largely embraced the projection of American military power.

But Carlson is not going to be joining the Sanders 2020 campaign. His book has a dark side: a deep suspicion of cultural progressivism, inclusion, and diversity. Carlson believes that liberal immigration policies have been imposed because they serve elite interests (Democrats get votes and Republicans get cheap labor for Big Business). As a result, the fabric of the country is fraying. He writes:

Thanks to mass immigration, America has experienced greater demographic change in the last few decades than any other country in history has undergone during peacetime… If you grew up in America, suddenly nothing looks the same. Your neighbors are different. So is the landscape and the customs and very often the languages you hear on the street. You may not recognize your own hometown. Human beings aren’t wired for that. They can’t digest change at this pace… [W]e are told these changes are entirely good… Those who oppose it are bigots. We must celebrate the fact that a nation that was overwhelmingly European, Christian, and English-speaking fifty years ago has become a place with no ethnic majority, immense religious pluralism, and no universally shared culture or language.

To some people, what Carlson writes here may not seem racist. And like many conservatives, he resents having what he sees as common sense treated as bigotry. I don’t think there’s any way around it, though: Carlson’s problem is that the United States looks different, that it’s not “European” any more and has no “ethnic majority.” He’s explicitly talking the language of ethnicity: it’s destabilizing that we’re not a white-majority country anymore. This isn’t simply about, say, the “Judeo-Christian ethic” or embracing the “American idea.” If that were the case, then it would be hard to make a case for why we shouldn’t let in the Catholic members of the migrant caravan, who love American culture and want to march across the border saying the Pledge of Allegiance. The problem is that they are not European, that they change the look of the place, that they disrupt the “ethnic majority.” Europeans are the real Americans, the ones that hold the fabric of the nation together, and minorities, people who are different, threaten to undo that fabric.

(Continue Reading)

[thestray]

Movies I watched Feb 1 - Feb 7

(image from Skinny Tiger & Fatty Dragon)

Movies listed below the cut

A Whisker Away (Netflix)

The premise of this anime romcom was a little too creepy for me, a girl who has a huge crush on a classmate uses a magical mask that turns her into a cat to become his pet and get next to him. What a violation right? Lol. That aside it’s just fine, I wouldn’t classify it as a must-see.

In & Of Itself (Hulu)

A friend messaged me telling me to check this out and I’m glad they did because I passed by it every day on Hulu and never felt compelled to check it out, but it was actually really interesting. It’s a one man show/magic show, and at times it’s kind of heavy handed but it all comes together really well.

After So Many Days (Prime)

A documentary about a band/newlywed couple desperate for their big break who decide to play one show every single day for a year. While they encounter some challenges, frustrations and tension things never go too wrong, so it was an overall just pleasant time watching these musicians play. Favorite part is they pull over on the road to play for a road of cows. 

Magnificent Warriors (Prime)

I only recently realized that this and Royal Warriors are not the same thing. So I watched this, and Michelle Yeoh does not disappoint. Lots of great choreography. 

Dreadnaught (TCL Channel)

It doesn’t have a satisfying narrative but it’s full of really fun and creative martial arts sequences. There are also these sequences where guys wear these traditional Chinese dragon suits and perform and it was so cool and well done I could’ve watched a movie purely about that.

High Voltage (Prime rental)

I love Donnie Yen, but I gotta say this movie was kinda wack. It was still early in his career where you can tell he didn’t have much say in how his fight scenes were filmed or choreographed cause the action scenes in this are terrible, full of sped up repetitive movements that look cartoonish. I kinda enjoyed it on a b-movie level for all the cliche 80′s movies shit but I wouldn’t recommend it just on that basis. Worst of all though is the Prime rental cuts off during the climactic battle. Maybe I shouldn’t even count this since I technically didn’t fully watch it.

The Yin Yang Master (Netflix)

The trailer for this looked pretty cool, but honestly despite all the CGI fantasy stuff this movie was surprisingly boring, and LONG.

Skinny Tiger & Fatty Dragon (Prime: Hi-Yah)

Been wanting to watch this for a while but it wasn’t available anywhere til recently. Really goofy buddy cop movie, great martial arts, some bits that really made me laugh. It’s an 80s movie so there are some things that can definitely be a bit problematic by today’s standards, like some sequences involving transgender women. 

Earwing & The Witch (Netflix)

A lot of people were concerned about the CGI, but the movie looks fine, the real problem is it was just mostly boring. The opening scene sets the movie up like there’s going to be some adventure or danger, but this most is literally about a girl doing chores for the majority of the film. It also ends on such a weird abrupt note that it honestly shocked me when credits started rolling.

Iron Protector (Prime: Hi-Yah)

Written, directed and starring Yue Song, This movie is almost comically cheesy. They literally use tiger growls when they whip pan to things, like MacGruber, they do it A LOT and it’s so ridiculous. It also cuts to his face so frequently during action scenes. Story and dialogue is terrible too. But, the fight scenes are generally entertaining, he more or less gives his character low-level super strength because his punches and kicks send people flying like they’ve been hit with a card, and they always make a bone crushing sound every single time. A trailer for this called him the next Bruce Lee, and he is definitely not that by any stretch, but it’s a kind of fun corny martial arts film.

Space Sweepers (Netflix)

This was really fun, it’s like a Korean Serenity, kinda. It’s not flawless but I was very much in the mood for a sci-fi romp and I enjoyed it.

Boss Level 

Some badass gets stuck in a time loop where assassins are trying to kill him. I think we've had enough timeloop movies and shows that we can stop saying "It's like Groundhog Day/Edge of Tomorrow" and just accept that it's become it's own subset genre of time travel movies. I think this was so fun and it’s just the right amount of over the top and silly, good action, and some heart without making it feel forced. It also shows that Frank Grillo is a competent leading action hero.

[petewentzsvaginabones]

guys.. i’m literally him

[cloppyreads]

Dumb Fanfic Writer Reads Salty Comments

Hey guys, if you didn’t know, I’m a huge fan of the horrific YouTube series Filthy Frank, which I’ve only become really interested in over the past few months. One of the funniest series he does is “Loser Reads Hater Comments” which is pretty self-explanatory through the title itself. Whereas my last post about Pride was pretty composed, this time the filter is coming COMPLETELY off, so if you’re not a fan of me cussing and basically being a huge dick to the people who deserve it, then I’d just skip this post. Everyone else, jump down past the “read below” line

Alright motherfuckers, let’s get this shit-show on the road! We’ll start off with the main account, AO3, which is where I got a lot of the heat from in the first weekend of chapter 1 going up, but let’s take a look at the constructive criticism that the opposition felt the need to leave for me (and if you want to read the full comments section for yourself, here you go):

(You’re most-likely going to have to right-click the images and open them in another tab to be able to read them, since I’m putting this under the “read more” line. Sorry. :( ) 

First of all, don’t you love these types?  Hurrrr, the media is corrupt, man, they’re all trying to brainwash us with their poisonous broadcasts, I’m not gonna let them make me one of their SHEEPLE, illuminati confirmed!!1! Second of all, HOLY CRAP, you DIDN’T vote for Trump, and you’re STILL disagreeing with me!? Oh my god guys, we have such an open-minded individual, someone give this special snowflake a medal, STAT! Buddy, nobody gives a shit that you didn’t vote for Trump. Your voting choice doesn’t take away the butthurt that you’re projecting because I’m saying something you don’t like. I mean, I’m just speculating here, I could easily be wrong about this, but I’m gonna wager a guess through your comments that you didn’t vote for Hillary either, so that leaves you in three possible groups: 1) You didn’t vote at all, which means you don’t give a shit about your country, and you’re just as much to blame for every shitty decision Trump makes because you didn’t even TRY to stop it.  2) You were one of the 10,000 idiots who voted for Harambe, a dead gorilla. Not just a gorilla, an animal, who isn’t allowed to be president anyway, but a DEAD animal who isn’t allowed to be president. So there’s a strong possibility that you were one of the thousands of college students who were just barely old enough to vote, and were chuckling the entire time you waited in the voting line mumbling “lol memes xD” while avoiding eye contact with anyone more attractive than you (which is probably most people).  3) You voted for that libertarian guy who I can’t even remember- Johnson, something or other? I forget what his deal was, but he was basically an idiot. My brain probably did me a favor by purging him from my memory. 

Alright, let’s move on

Well guys, I don’t know how to fight this one; nobody in the history of the world has ever made a parody of a real person for satire and to entertain the people who don’t like that person. There’s no such thing as SNL or any other late night talk show who does this regularly for entertainment purposes.  I’m basically public enemy number 1 at this point, I’m shocked the FBI hasn’t knocked on my door because I made a caricature of Trump. But even if they do, I’m not going quietly. I’ve got a Walking Dead dart-shotgun that’s fully loaded and ready to pop some sticky darts onto people’s foreheads. #FUCK GUN CONTROL Seriously though, you want to cry about leftists burning buildings down because of political bullshit? Do you? Do you also want to cry about white sports fans who burn down cars and start riots when their team loses (or hell, even if they win)? You know who doesn’t cry about that? Fox News. Yeah, they just show a thirty second blip of it on TV and chalk it up to “some fans getting a little out of control” God forbid any of those fans have dark skin, otherwise they might get shot just for screaming too loud. 

what’s next?

WHEW LAD Okay, telling me that I need to adopt a “don’t ask don’t tell policy” about politics in MY writings, seriously? What country are you from, Korea? One of those countries where you’re required to suck your political leader’s dick every day or you get thrown in jail or worse, killed? Buddy, I said right in the first chapter there was gonna be political bias in this story; I didn’t say I was a political scientist and that I was writing this as a thesis for how our government needs to restructure itself (at this point, I think dismantling it completely might be better off; a Mad Max style anarchy or Walking Dead wasteland looks like an okay alternative right now), I wrote this story for entertainment purposes. Telling me this story is shit because the politics aren’t 100% accurate is the same kind of cringe that tumblr exhibited when they got mad at Zootopia because the staff designed Judy’s nose incorrectly, BIG FUCKING DEAL.  Oh, and the kicker, saying I created “a major divide in the audience” and warning me when “all hell breaks loose”.  Oh my god guys, I’m so scared! I think some terrorist organizations are gonna come after me because I wrote a fanfic that expressed my ideals! Shit! I better seclude myself in the Right-Wing protection room, I hope I have enough canned ravioli and lotion to survive their furious rage! D: 

Ooh, ouch, that cuts deep yo! What an educated response, just rubbing my face in it, oh god, how will I recover!?? Alright, well if you click on this guy’s name, you can see that he doesn’t have any stories on his account. If you google search his name though, you’ll find two things of interest that stand out: -He’s a League of Legends player (and it lists his stats there, but I don’t play this game; is he good? Is he trash? Someone who plays this game tell me, because I don’t give a shit enough to look it up). -He has an account on fanfiction.net which has ONE story, the Zootopian Empire. I’m not gonna waste my brain cells on reading any of the story, but just from the description, I’m gonna assume this guy has such a hard on for League that his manchild brain decided it’d be a good idea to write a Zootopia fanfic that basically has the characters from the movie stand in for the characters of the game. Is that what this is, Valhalla? You trying to be a writer by combining your favorite videogame with your favorite movie? Oh yeah, those always go over REAL well. “Oh my fucking god guys, I fucking love League, and I fucking love Zootopia! I’m gonna write a fanfic that combines both of them and I’ll just explode with popularity, because the idea is so good that IT SELLS ITSELF, I AM A FUCKING GENIUS!!” 

Alright that’s all for AO3′s side, let’s take a look at what angry manchildren on fanfiction.net had to say: 

Totally didn’t write a foreword in my first chapter warning people “this story contains political bias, don’t read it that bothers you”, nope, not at all.  Seriously, how do people like you get through life? Do you read a sign that says “water contains sharks, do not swim”, then jump right in and get mad when you see sharks coming after you? You’re obviously (barely) smart enough to read, so do you just willfully ignore warnings for the sole purpose of being an ass? Great use of your time there, I’m glad this small act of yours gave you the confidence you needed to keep going through life. :)

Sir, you seem to be coughing a whole lot. Are you okay? Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time with your head up your own ass, you wouldn’t be choking on your own shit; just a thought.  Anyway, yeah, you reading stories from National Enquirer about Hillary SUBTLE COUGH AND PRETENDING TO CHOKE WHILE I CORRECT MYSELF LAWL MALLORY and her secret emails doesn’t really convince me or anyone else with an above average IQ. I do find it funny however that people like you will take any mention of questionable emails from ANY source as unarguable truth, but when allegations of Trump THROAT CLEAR SHAKE OF HEAD HOLDING UP HANDS ROFL TRUNK HA HA being guilty of sexually assaulting women, you start saying “Hurrrrr, where’s your prooooof, where’s your sources, huuuuuuuuh!?”.  Ah, hypocrisy; smells of that ripe acrid smell of bullshit. Gotta love it. 

Now this... this one brought a tear to my eye. I mean, I know there’s war going on in the East, starving children in third-world countries and nations who have gone entirely bankrupt, but this... this is the most tragic thing I have ever heard.  A person living in a well-off global super power country has to... they have to... see and hear things that they don’t like! On TV! On the radio! On newspapers! And they can’t do anything about it! They can’t change the channel, or look up something on youtube or play a videogame to give themselves some entertainment to distract themselves from this minor inconvenience; NO. They have to sit there helpless and the thing they’re subjected to makes them slightly uncomfortable.  Guys... I’m sorry, I’m just so emotional right now, I need to go listen to Arms of the Angel and grieve for this poor soul living in a constant state of minor inconvenience. T___T

Fun fact: the part about the transgender thing is 100% wrong you dub fucking idiot, and unlike you, I have a source backing it.  According to the same source, apparently he doesn’t want them in the military either, so thanks for proving how stupid you are, bye bye. 

Oh hey guys, look, it’s Mr. “I’m gonna write a Zootopia fanfic that’s basically League of Legends with Zootopia characters.” AGAIN I don’t really have much to say about this, I just think it’s funny that the same guy had to show how NOT UPSET he is by commenting on the first chapter ON TWO DIFFERENT WEBSITES.  Good job sir, you sure are showing me the what-for’s and the business and stuff, I just can’t survive under your onslaught. 

So that’s all for the public comments on both websites, which means this little segment of mine SHOULD be over; but wait, there’s more! This one came really as a surprise to me, because I got it through a PM on FurAffinity, which I haven’t even published the story on (I kept meaning to, but, eh, lazy).  I’m not going to ask you to read this whole thing-- I seriously don’t want you guys to waste your precious brain cells on something like this, but I still felt like I at least had to show you a visual of it, just so you know that human beings like this are indeed real.  Without further ado, I present to you, the MacDaddy of butthurt manchild in its purest form:

I know that’s probably too small of font for most of you to read- like I said, don’t bother reading the whole thing, your IQ will probably drop by seven points- but that is a whopping twelve paragraphs of “I don’t like what you said, it hurt my feelings and made me more upset than any rational human being should feel over something so inconsequential”.

I’ll admit, I didn’t read the whole thing either, but just for fun, let’s go ahead and skim it and highlight a few parts of it: “ To make matters even worse, instead of providing a reasonable political commentary and giving both sides their fair share of flaws, you go into full-on Hillary Clinton fangirl mode, portraying Muleford's side through rose-tinted glasses while making Trunk and his supporters look like total lunatics. Officer McHorn, for example, is ridiculed for bringing up the email scandal, which is actually a real issue that the FBI themselves have exposed multiple times. “ blah blah blah, here’s some stuff I read from my favorite Republican news source... “ What makes this even more glaring is how obviously out of character Judy and Nick are here. They both uncharacteristically identify themselves as "progressives" who "embrace diversity in each other's species", have uncontrolled emotional breakdowns over election turnouts, and even go as far as to ditch their jobs as impartial protectors of the law in order to carry protest signs around during an organized event they should be patrolling.” Yeah, because you know, you, a fan who has no involvement with the creation of the canon movie, never collaborated with the directors or the staff or anyone working for Disney, has all the business in the world telling me what is and isn’t “out of character” for characters you didn’t create. Great logic there.  “ Speaking of which, what's up with all the blatant Donald Trump demonization? Yes, I get that you voted for Hillary Clinton, as you made that painfully obvious earlier, but that doesn't justify using Remus Trunk as an excuse to hate on Donald Trump. Whether you like it or not, he is our country's president, so the least you could do is be tasteful about it. There are better ways to go about tackling political issues than constantly calling a political caricature "bigoted"” Bro, how many people wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how much they hated Barack Obama when he was president? What if Hillary had won; would you take anyone seriously if they were telling you to show her some respect because she was the president, or would you be foaming at the mouth going “TRAITOR TRAITOR EMAILS PUT HER IN JAIL I AM UPSET AND INSECURE BLARRRRRGH!!!!”? Anyway, that’s all I care to read of that message, you get the idea-- people who either like Trump or like Hillary LESS than Trump all had to come pitch a fit and tell me how threatened they are that I expressed my opinion in a fucking fanfiction. Really great that these are the people who think the world is too PC and that everyone is too sensitive for their tastes, when they themselves get all butthurt when someone voices something that disagrees with them. 

So there you have it- my fanfiction pissed off a lot of idiots, and no shits were given. I just wanted to showcase this gallery because it was fun, and I hoped it was fun for some of you guys too. If you think this was petty and that I should have been the bigger man and just ignore them, you’re probably right, but I think being the bigger man is overrated. :) Petty for life! Whooo!

[lisabelkin-yahoonews]

Sleepless in Seattle, and other places: Trump-induced insomnia stalks blue-state America

Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: AP, Getty Images

Susan Rogers, a poet and attorney in California, is “hurtling through space with no direction” on a plane that, she discovers with horror, has no pilot.

Alicia Bowman, a journalist from East Penn, Pa., is racing frantically through a train that is heading the wrong way, flinging off her belongings so she can run faster, calling frantically for her son, who is transgender.

Rachelle Pachtman, who does canine rescue on New York’s Upper West Side, is searching fruitlessly through her refrigerator for something to serve Michelle and Barack Obama, who have just happened to drop by for lunch.

And Allison Graham, a Los Angeles publicist, is in a hotel suite near her old Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood in Manhattan, being interviewed by Donald Trump for a job as a supervisor on one of his big construction projects.

“But I don’t know anything about real estate; I have no qualifications or experience,” she tells him.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be great,” he says.

Then they all wake up.

Blue America is having trouble with sleep — tossing and turning as they lie awake, then falling into nightmares. And those who are suffering tend to blame the 45th president of the United States.

To be sure, a state of heightened anxiety over whoever is in the White House is not new. Two presidents ago, columnist Charles Krauthammer coined Bush Derangement Syndrome, the symptoms of which were the “acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the presidency — nay — the very existence of George W. Bush.”  Next came Obama Derangement Syndrome, memorialized by a conspiracy-spouting satirical character on the “Stephanie Miller Happy Hour” radio show.

And now there’s what Hollywood screenwriter Sam Friedlander has spoofed as Trump-Induced Anxiety Disorder.

There is no way to quantify whether there are more sufferers during this administration than previous ones. But for those going through it this time around, it certainly seems very new and very real. And it looms largest in the dead of night, say dozens across the country who described their pillow-punching wakefulness and fraught sleep to Yahoo News.

“I fall asleep and wake up and get a snack and toss and turn and try to make sense of what’s going on,” says Linda Allen, who counsels parents of special-needs children on Long Island. “It’s unfathomable and that inability to reason with it is frustrating, and the whole situation is also enraging. Who could sleep?”

“I have not slept a full night since the election,” says New York fashion designer Ariane Zurcher. “I’m 56 years old. I have never had insomnia or issues with sleeping until this.”

What’s going through their minds in the dark?

Erika Kilborn, a training director for a software company, who has just been diagnosed with cancer, worries she will lose her job as a result of her illness and not be able to afford new insurance as a result of changes in the health care law.

Lea Grover, a Chicago writer, has spent more than one night calculating where in her home she could build fake walls behind which to hide immigrants facing deportation.

Craig Haller, who advocates with school administrators on behalf of students with disabilities in and around Boston, fears changes at the Department of Education will hurt those students.

“I’m afraid my son and nephew will be sent to a war I don’t believe in,” says Linda Cliff Derbacher, a former neonatal nurse now living in Southern California.

“I worry that even though my family members have been American citizens for generations we will be targeted … because of our surnames and our looks,” says Soraida Justiniano of Palm Harbor, Fla.

“I’m worried about the ‘Anne Franks‘ of Syria, Somalia, Yemen,” says tech industry employee Amanda Silver, who is literally sleepless in Seattle, her hometown.

“I am afraid the democratic process is under attack by a nationalist, far-right, authoritarian leader,” says Lori Rivere Rodrig, who teaches math at a New Jersey high school.

The looming prospect of insomnia at the end of the day has led to a swath of ways to encourage sleep. For some, it starts long before bedtime.

Charles Whitin has been rowing madly in Little Compton, R.I. almost since Election Day — “the equivalent of 18 miles a day for a month,” which leads to “a sore backside, but sound sleeping.” Deborah Skolnik is spending time with the plants in her new garden. (“They’re very soothing, and they help me remember that MOST living things on the planet don’t even know Trump exists.”) Lian Dolan, writer and host of the “Satellite Sisters” podcast, stopped watching the news as of Nov. 8, and adopted a German shepherd named Steffi right after Thanksgiving so that she could “walk us both into the ground, about 5 to 6 miles a day. Good for my sleep.” Her sister and podcast partner Liz Dolan is swimming. “There’s no news, real or fake, underwater,” she notes.

Others are meditating — or trying to. Lindsay Steiman, a consumer researcher for Toyota in Hermosa Beach, Calif., was all but ordered to do so by her ob-gyn after she complained of stress and poor sleep from “trying to work full time, raise a family and bring down a fascist regime at the same time,” she says. That was a week ago, and she hasn’t managed to find time to follow her doctor’s orders yet. Hasn’t slept much, either.

As it grows later in the day, every day, the distractions become more varied.

There’s binge TV watching that has nothing to do with politics (“Hallmark Channel,” specifically “’Golden Girls’ and ‘Frasier,’” says Susan Barocas, a Washington, D.C., filmmaker) or everything to do with it (“‘Quantum Leap,’” says Donna Saady. “I keep hoping he’ll leap into someone a few years ago and put right what went wrong.”)

There are books that aim for the same.  Portrait photographer Mellon Tytell will only read escapist fiction before bed nowadays — John Grisham and Carl Hiaasen are favorites. Elizabeth Wade, on the other hand, a retired nurse, goes to bed in Ashland, Ore., sharing biographies of former presidents with her husband. Right now they are reading “River of Doubt,” by Candice Millard, which she found on sale at Costco, about Teddy Roosevelt’s journey to find a tributary to the Amazon.

Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: AP, Getty Images

“Not sure why we went this way with reading material,” she says. “Maybe just to see what ‘presidential’ really means?”

Once the lights are out, and the screens go dark, that’s when writer Sharon Van Epps, also from Seattle, begins to pray. She’s always said a bedtime prayer, but since November the content has changed.

“I ask that God will help us with this mess and show us how to help ourselves,” she says.

Of course, there are those who skip all of the above and go straight to the medicine or the liquor cabinet. Kasie Shiflett, a bartender and waitress at Dino’s Gourmet in Plattsburgh, N.Y., turns to Tylenol PM. Mary Molina, a retired clinical research assistant in Durham, N.C., rotates among bourbon, vodka, or melatonin, depending on the night.

“Medical marijuana and Glenfiddich,” quips Frederic Alan Maxwell, a researcher in Portland, Ore. “Plus nonmedical marijuana and Glenfiddich.”

And when author Cathryn Jackobsen Ramin brought up her troubled sleep with her new internist the other day, she left the appointment with a prescription for Seroquel and a two-page handout about sleep that the doctor had “just written because so many of her patients had the same problem lately.”

Do any of these strategies work? Not always, sufferers say.

Despite exercising more during the day, Bill Marcus, a venture capitalist in Chicago, is nonetheless “gazing at my smartphone at least an additional 30 to 60 minutes, lying awake at dusk or dawn, filtering through the fake and real developing stories.”

Diana Noya also finds herself staying awake late or waking up early in Yardley, Pa., because that’s when news (and presidential tweets) seem to break. “I feel like I have to consume it all in order to get my own thoughts out to my senators and representatives right away,” she says. “So I’m exhausted, but resisting.”

And when they do fall asleep, there are all those dreams.

“Last night I dreamed we were hiding people in our basement,” says Allentown, Pa., physician Jenni Levy. “Not sure what they were hiding from.”

“I dreamed I was in downtown NYC and it was gutted like Armageddon after 9/11,” says psychotherapist Donna Moss. “Everyone looked like zombies.”

Says Kelly Fincham, who co-founded the Irish Lobby for Immigration Reform, “My weirdest dream so far has been two lions chasing three giraffes in a disused Irish cemetery. Can you find someone to analyze that for me?”

Susannah Greenberg, a book publicist, recently “dreamt I was at a dinner. Someone accused me of leaving the ‘memory door’ open and that that was illegal. I shouted at them: ‘I don’t even know what the memory door is, so how could I have left it open? I did not leave the memory door open!’

“Somehow,” she says, “I think this was about Trump.”

Then there are those who are getting their eight hours because insomnia is not where their stress shows.

Allison Slater Tate, for instance, is having no problem with shuteye in Orlando. Possibly because she’s been stress-snacking since Election night.

“I’ve gained the Trump 15, but I can sleep,” she says.

  Read more from Yahoo News:

Sean Spicer spars with White House press corps over wiretapping

How an L.A. House district’s special election could mark a new direction for Dems

Health care fight raises concerns about Paul Ryan’s leadership

Cuts to poverty programs are ‘as compassionate as you can get,’ Trump budget chief says

Photos of the day – March 17, 2017

[flashfictionforpittance]

Character Summary (Tony)

My PC is back in business but my Office license expired and money is a thing so I don’t have her last name because it’s on a word file, no judge.

Gender: Female (MtF transgender) Age: 26 Sexuality: Lesbian DOB: 04/04/1992 Race: Caucasian Ethnicity: French Canadian Nationality: British Build: Narrow/Petite Height: 5,6 Ft Hair: Short and choppy, long on top with an orange strip Skin: Peachy, looks healthier with some sun, small freckles.  Artefact: Corvonius, a spellbook possessed with a demon who, like most other demons in the Archives, offers Tony the ability to cast spells (and in this case, the use of her demonic voice) in exchange for human souls.  Powers: Spellcasting, healing, shields, intimidation, some ability to sense magic. Notable Features at Start: Scar on her forehead from falling over while rollerskating when she was six. A birthmark on her ribs shaped like a duck, about as big as your pinky nail. Notable Features Gained: Various bullet wounds- One on shoulder, through and through, one in the ribs, three on the right thigh in a tight line. Lots of piercings on the right ear, scars on her fists.  Personality: Do-er, proactive, aloof, and unrepentant. Bold and often careless, headstrong, tendency to remove herself from difficult situations rather than face them. Listens to conscience but begrudgingly if driven to do something she’s afraid of or uncomfortable with. Chaotic Neutral. Punk, but keeps the aggression to a facade mostly, prefers to rely on subterfuge.  Development: Tony starts off as a mute who uses sign language. Lots of silent commentary. Ignores people a lot. When she gets a voice by making a deal with the book demon Corvonius, she becomes much more erratic. Her personality starts railroading a lot of plans, causing a rise in tensions. That said, she’s still driven by giving a shit about her friends and wanting to keep them safe, and she becomes an extremely useful and dedicated member of the crew despite her volatility. At the midway point, her powers have a moment where they fail and she’s pretty shook. Later, at an anarcho-punk settlement (Bilgabar), she gains a following that helps to bolster her sense of security, and weirdly enough this helps to teach her about restraint and responsibility with her powers.  Emotional Complexes: Often feels detached from situations thanks to a lifetime of abstraction from regular people, and years of being able to leave a situation when it got tough. Her lack of restraint and selfishness are rooted in a lot of bottled up frustration and feelings of impotence, and fear of losing her voice and powers. Absolutely terrified of being powerless or ignored. 

Relationships-

Harker: At the beginning of the narrative, Tony mostly just feels sorry for Harker. She’s loud and clumsy and rude, but she’s in a hard situation and that’s likely to stunt anyone. That said, she’d be more sympathetic if Harker rose to the occasion. As the story progresses, they get closer, Tony takes on a kind of older sister role and tries to both embolden Harker and get her to be more decisive/quick, and also nurtures a concern for her safety. At the end, as Harker’s risen to the occasion and become a pretty formidable fighter, Tony becomes incredibly proud of her, and makes a consistent effort to remind Harker that she’s come a long way and no longer has to feel like a liability.  Cress: Best friends at the start of the story. Cress offered a job where Tony’s lack of voice wasn’t a glaring disadvantage, respected, supported and included her for years. As the narrative progresses, tensions rise between them as Tony behaves more erratically, contradicting Cress’ strong and pragmatic leadership, at the very least mitigated by Tony’s sense of loyalty and strong fighting skills. By the end of the narrative, Cress has come to respect that Tony’s her own person and a different one to who she spent those years working with. They’re no less close, but their relationship has changed, and Cress is learning to respect the new voice.    Abbo (best friend): Tony’s always liked Abbo. He’s a kindhearted man who tries to help everyone, although she’s not a fan of his doormat-ish nature at all, she wishes he had more strength of character. Her respect for him goes up across the narrative as he learns to take the initiative and stand up for himself, and acknowledge his emotions. By the end, he’s almost a different person. He’s decisive, bold, he looks wild and happy and Tony identifies a lot with that.  Scouts: The scouts are weird. They’re all like ten years old, but they’re running a military hierarchy? Fuck that noise. Mercy and Amira are cool, but the rest are a little too 1964 for Tony. Kremboid: This place is great. Bart pisses charm and it takes a lot to see past that, but he’s a genuinely good guy. The locals aren’t the most refined, and if you don’t have the means to defend yourself you probably don’t fancy spending your summer here, but for Tony it’s a comfortably rough place where she’s neither marginalised or feared.  Jort: Fuck this place sideways. It’s a complete fucking waste of agriculture and commerce, because it’s full of xenophobic crazies. Thanks for the witchhunt and the cinnamon roles.  Union: Cool, but Jesus is this place big. Hard to feel like Billy Big Bollocks when you’re getting lost every half an hour. Still Buddy is a cool as hell governess, Father Duck is a good friend, and when they got there, Harker finally seemed at ease.  Bilgabar: This place is just home. Tony’s people are here, the people who really trust and love her, people who aren’t scared of her and look to her like some kind of matriarchal den mother. But it’s not like she’s being taken advantage of, but she wants to take care of these people. And she learned how to be a leader, not just a loose cannon/wild card edgelord

Backstory- Tony was born to a middle class French Canadian family in April 1992. Her life really began in 2005 when she came to understand that she wasn’t a boy, and began to transition, leaving behind her deadname, but surprisingly few members of her family. Sadly, Tony had always been mute. She has no memory of being able to speak, although her hearing and understanding of words is totally fine, leaving her with this impression that she had a voice at some point, although nobody recalls or believes this. Tony’s family, in light of her inability to speak, wanted to keep her at home and support her financially, but this idea upset her deeply. She hated the idea of being dependent or treated as an invalid, so she broke out on her own. Now, she was mute. So despite living independently she was still financially dependent for about six months (age 20,) before being employed at a real-estate company. She communicated through sign language to get her job done, and was reasonably good at it, but she received a lot of criticism from her colleagues, mostly down to her lack of voice, coupled with transphobic office mates who deliberately excluded her from events. After two years at the company she was assigned a bigoted partner, Darren, and it became clear that everyone wanted her to either get fired or quit. Darren purposely iced her out during viewings and started losing sales, and within a year they were on the edge of being let go. On their last chance, Tony decided she’d had enough and walked out, leaving Darren to go get fired on his own. During her time at the real-estate business, her family had suffered some money troubles, so she didn’t feel comfortable telling them she’d quit. A month later, with £100 left to her name, an ambitious job application came back confirming an interview- Research assistant for Dr Cress Abassi. She spent the next three years as her friend and colleague. 

Relatives-  Mother: Clementine. A mothery mother, doting and involved to a fault. Not the cleverest, but more than makes up for it with determination and open-heartedness. Father: Louis. A silly, eccentric man who fucking loves his food and his music. Adores his kids but not the best decision maker, and some crap investments led to their money troubles.  Sister:  Claire. Not super close with Tony, doesn’t fully understand the reasoning behind her transition, but does her best to support her and, when she finds out Tony’s missing, starts trying to find out more about the trans experience/community, becoming obsessed with finding her sister. 

Faves- Sweet tooth- hates chocolate but loves gummies, hard candy, bubblegum. Really wants to like art house movies but doesn’t always get them. Actually more of a collective, music wise. Big fan of Edgar Wright. Likes all food except for nuts, because they’re a snack food not a fucking ingredient.

Hates- Nuts in meals. Chocolate, Turkish Delight, Superhero Movies, Chick Flicks, country music.

Fears- Being powerless. Being ridiculed. Going home after spending time in the Archives. Being alone. Losing her voice again. Not a fan of deep ocean. 

Hopes- To live in the Archives forever. To fight the Eldritch horror and win. To go back to Bilgabar to live. To keep everyone safe. 

Dreams- Of living a life without feeling like a burden, independent but with people she cares about and can rely on all around her. 

Attracted To- Women. She feels like butch women should be her thing, but to be frank, she absolutely adores women who are shy or silly, she thinks they’re cute as fuck.

Aesthetic- Punk. Lots of leather and metal, beaten up. If she was building a ship she’d make it out of scratched sheet metal with spikes and other non-aerodynamic things. Muddy face, bitten nails with chipped polish. 

Lovers- Vivette, met in Jort, one nighter, nothing really in common. Cali, met in the Union, a potential romance that she actually invests in but Cali balks when she sees her powers. Finally, Yana, met in Bilgabar. A love/hate relationship, combative, lots of emotional tension and unspoken feelings. 

Skills- Spellcasting, healing, sensing magic, sneaking, intimidation, manipulation, good in a crisis.

Job History- Real Estate, Research assistant. 

Pet Peeves- People who lie for convenience or because they don’t want to confront a problem. People who let their lack of backbone affect other people. Children. Co-dependent people. Needy/beggy people. People who refuse to help unless they get their own way. 

Self Image- Generally doesn’t think about it. When she does, she ends up conflicted between her lack of foresight/consideration and the fact that she’s almost always right about a situation. After Bilgabar, her self image improves. 

Insecurities- Being called out on her mistakes. Doesn’t like her flat chest, isn’t a fan of her nose, worries that women and friends find her unapproachable. 

Addictions- Likes a good smoke now and again, drinks heavily if she’s having a rough day but stays on top of it. 

Scent- Leather, light perfume

Gait- Light-footed, waify, if she doesn’t want she can go unnoticed, but is also capable of establishing a presence.

Voice- TALKS IN BLOCK CAPITALS IN BOLD. LOTS OF CURSING. LOTS OF CONTRACTIONS. 

To Get What She Wants- She’s more than willing to kill people she knows deserve it, to steal or destroy, or to generally threaten people. 

Draws the Line At- Harming innocents or victims. These people have her complete protection, and she takes a hard stance against prejudice or sex-based violence, or anything that would harm an innocent. 

She didn’t realise that she would- Kill so freely. Even with a code of ethics, she kills scores of people in battle and feels no remorse. 

She didn’t realise that she couldn’t- talk to women. Considering she possesses the voice and powers of a fucking demon, her confidence and flirting ability around women is piss poor/ 

Lowest Point- After the Eldritch horror establishes control over a certain amount of the Archives, Tony loses her powers- even when they come back, they’re on the fritz. After getting to the union and getting pretty viciously dumped by Cali, she hits a low point and starts lashing out. 

Highest Peak- When she and her following at Bilgabar are able to fight off an attack from EH and some low-level demons. 

Nemesis- Caulk. A naysayer at Bilgabar who tries to undermine her and question her ability to lead. But it’s through Caulk that she learns she can’t just murder people who pose and issue. 

Trustee- Vince. Orange dude she meets in Jort, a nervous little guy who becomes a close friend, and joins her at Bilgabar. After the events of the novel, he becomes a penpal. 

Allergies- Transphobes and dickheads

Most Ashamed Of- Her behaviour at the start of the novel, when she first gets her powers. She’s extremely reckless and puts everyone in danger. She also hates how things went in the Union with Cali, she feels like shit. 

Most Proud Of- Her following. Harker, Abbo and Cress. How she’s grown, how she quit the RE company. 

Secrets- Women are hard to talk to. She really doesn’t want to lose her voice. She’s not entirely sure about whether Corvonius is trustworthy. Some of the spells in her book that she’s said have run out, haven’t. 

Deeper Secrets (never tell)- She still nurtures some unrequited love for Cali. She still has nightmares about her old life back home. She’s terrified that her parents and family will spend the rest of their lives looking for her. She’s also terrified that they won’t. 

Tells Everyone- She’s trans, she’s a lesbian, fuck the establishment, fuck liars and cowards, fuck politicians.

Politics- Anarchist, but good at diplomacy. 

Tactics- All out offensive, with time to plan she can effectively identify and attack weak points while conserving numbers, great under time pressure and is capable of throwing dozens of spells out if they’re down to the wire. 

Hogwarts House- Slytherin. 

VTMB Clan/Sect- Bruja/Tremere, Anarch

Inspiration- Amanda (DGHDA), Aubrey (TAZ), Persephone (WICDIV), P!nk

[janicefosse]

Writing Lives: Mica Scotti Kole

I attended the Chicago Writers Conference in 2015. It was my first conference ever, and I was both excited and terrified. Not being a particularly social person, the idea of spending three days mingling with and talking to total strangers with no familiar friends or my husband to hide behind was almost enough to prevent me from attending the conference.  But I was determined to enter the writing world, and so I stepped boldly into an unfamiliar bar in downtown Chicago on Friday night for the first mixer of the conference.

Throwing caution to the wind (and ignoring the gurgles of terror in my stomach), I walked up to the first friendly face I saw and said hello. That face belonged to the fantastic Mica Scotti Kole, and I am so glad that I was able to overcome my fears and meet such a fantastic person.

If you don’t know Mica, you’re missing not only a super cool person and a talented writer, but also an invaluable resource for other writers. She is the face behind Free Writing Events, aka @Writevent on Twitter, the clearinghouse for all free writing events on the Internet. Her website has not only the same calendar of free writing events, but also a plethora of other writing resources, from agent lists to conference recaps, writing advice, and more.

She is also the founder of Beta Frank, the “super-affordable editing service where the author sets the price and duration of the services – not the editor.” I had her go over my manuscript before I began querying and now I have an agent. Her invaluable insights and in-depth notes were instrumental in getting my book into its best possible shape, and I would recommend her to anyone looking for a high quality editor (she should really be charging at least triple what she charges – just saying). I decided to kick off my interview series with a writer, editor, and person that I admire and I’m proud to call friend. So, without any further ado, here is my interview with Mica.

The fabulous Mica Scotti Kole!

JF: Tell us how you got started in writing - what inspired you early on, what inspires you today, etc.

MK: When I was little, I used to play with Duplos - like giant Legos with animals - and write stories about the animals' adventures. I just unearthed one of these "books" recently while unpacking for a new house. The animals in my "Miracle Zoo" made hover-cars out of coconut juice. I'm pretty sure I was doomed to write fantasy from the very beginning.

JF: How did you become the queen of writing events?

MK: Aw, thanks! Well, when I first started Twitter, I discovered hashtag games like #1linewed and events like #PitMad, which were fun writing challenges and incredible networking opportunities that I had never heard of before... meaning that piles of other writers had never heard of them, either. I saw a need, and I started filling it, and the response was so stellar that I just kept going, widening my promotions to any events that were free and useful for writers. I'm highly organizational, so the resulting @writevent turned out to be pretty cool.

JF: Name one book that has influenced you in life, as a writer, etc.

MK: I always say The Golden Compass. I remember walking into a giant library, having no idea what to do, and asking a librarian. She gave me that book of the thousands available, and I was sold on fantasy forever... the accompanying His Dark Materials trilogy has it all: diversity, religious questioning, talking animals, multiple dimensions, death, and irreconcilable heartbreak. The Golden Compass taught me that an imaginary world doesn't need to be contained. It can be as big as you want it to be. I dislike writing contemporary to this day!

JF: What is your daily writing routine like? Do you have any particular rituals, must-haves, etc?

MK: I'm one of those one-track-mind people. I'll kick out 20,000 words in a few days, then veer off into another project and forget to write for a week. But my daily ritual involves cereal, loose-leaf black tea, and consuming some type of media: books, anime, or often the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. It takes me an hour at least to get through this ritual because that's how long it takes me to finish my tea (yes, it gets cold). Then I open my laptop, pull up Word, and dive in.

JF: How much research do you do for a writing project?

MK: None during the first draft, except when naming characters or the occasional "What type of feather is at the tip of the wing?" question. I do most of my research in revisions, with a special eye for the diversity-related research. But I do have an aversion to general research due to a decade of writing all A+ papers in every English class ever. I think some part of me believes I've paid my dues. That is not a good thing, lol.

JF: Are you a planner, a pantser, or a plantster?

MK: Depends on the project, but I think that inevitably we all become plantsters in the end - a hybrid. I'll either outline a book and end up down a rabbit hole, or I'll run down a rabbit hole and end up plotting my way out. I leaned primarily toward plotting early on, though, and I do recommend that. Plotting gives you a feel for pacing and structure that pantsing doesn't. You can learn a great deal about writing from plotting, but pantsing mostly just teaches you how to revise!

JF: You’ve written characters from underrepresented groups - please elaborate on the importance of that and what challenges you’ve faced writing these characters.

MK: I could say SO MUCH about this, but will try to limit myself. To start: writing diverse characters terrifies me. So many authors, either white/cis/nonreligious like myself or themselves diverse, have faced incredible vitriol for trying to write diverse characters. The fear that trying to elevate other voices might actually ruin my career - and even my life - is real. The fact is that mistakes will be made if one writes diversity, and writers will be hated for writing diversity no matter what they do. You can't please everyone, and you can only do your best. That said, one's "best" must involve sensitivity readers, research, and humility. Frankly I have said and done insensitive things without any idea I was doing it - and to learn my own failings and misconceptions, and have to apologize, is both painful and important. In addition, #ownvoices books must be elevated above non-#ownvoices books. I cannot possibly write about a transgender woman the way a transgender woman can write about herself, and I need to recognize that. All that said, despite the hate campaigns and the social justice warriors/bullies and all the other risks, if white/cis writers don't at least try for the most basic of inclusion, then our literature will be whitewashed. And white is the most boring color.

JF: What would you suggest as an essential bit of reading for aspiring writers?

MK: The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho will inspire you to chase what matters. This is my favorite book, and no, it's not a book that tells you how to write. For better or worse, I don't believe those kinds of books have ever helped me personally. Although if you're fresh to the writing scene, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is a must-read, and absolutely hilarious to boot. She'll warn you about all those things you need warnings for...

JF: What is the most useful writing advice you’ve ever received? The most destructive?

MK: Useful? To structure according to the Hero's Journey (or the 3-Act Structure, whatever works). This is such a game-changer and has helped me write better first drafts and get a keener eye for story... although, as I said, over time plotting may become more instinctive. And the most destructive advice, for me, was specific advice from an agent on how to redo my opening. The advice itself wasn't bad, but taking her word as gospel caused my opening to founder for ages. To that end, I'd advise second opinions if a change doesn't sound like it would work for you... remember, you know your book better than anyone else! But do pay attention if the second opinion matches up!

JF: The publishing world is a strange one right now - what do you see for the future of publishing in your genre?

MK: I see more diversity. They're afraid, now, to take these books on... but those that have succeeded, have done so very well. And as much as people love the same old tropes, a blurb about a police shooting or a Muslim teen catches the eye and sets the book apart more than "oh look, another clumsy female protagonist in a love triangle." Publishers want a hook, and that's the key: do you have a hook? I also see a shift toward YA over adult books in most genres. Virtual Reality storytelling isn't too far off, either.

JF: What do you suck at?

MK: Humor. At least, putting humor into things. I lean toward dark stories, and I need to work on the comic relief. I also struggle with getting the reader to connect to the main character early on. I work much harder on voice than I used to, and it still seems like it isn't working - but I have improved, and will continue to do so. Like Lisa Scottoline said about writing, "You never hit your stride."

Check out Mica on Twitter: @MicaScottiKole

Be sure to follow Free Writing Events: @Writevent

Mica Scotti Kole’s website: Micascottikole.com

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[teachanarchy]

More than 40 years ago, my seventh grade English teacher began the year by telling us that we were definitely not allowed to read “The Catcher in the Rye” because we weren’t “ready” for it. So naturally we all went out and read it immediately.

I told this story to my son when he was a seventh grader. I meant it as a funny story, and I pointed out that it had taken me years to appreciate that teacher’s pedagogic strategy. But then my son read the book himself right away. The mere long-ago echo of a possible ban was enough to make it interesting.

Adults have been known to worry a great deal about the possible corrupting influence of the printed word on children. If you look at the list of “frequently challenged children’s books” maintained by the American Library Association Office of Intellectual Freedom, you will see a wide range of touchy topics. (A book is “challenged” when someone tries to get it removed from a library or a school curriculum.)

Books can get challenged because they involve magic (Philip Pullman, J.K. Rowling), or because they offend religious sensibilities. “A Wrinkle in Time,” by Madeleine L’Engle, has been challenged as both overly and insufficiently religious. Some books are challenged because they depict children behaving, well, childishly (Junie B. Jones, the heroine of a series of books by Barbara Park, gets in trouble for using words like “stupid.”) So adults worry that books may be bad for children’s morals and for their manners.

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“I think it happens in the U.S. more than in some other countries,” said Leonard Marcus, a children’s book historian and critic. “There’s a squeamishness in the U.S. about body parts I think that goes back to the Puritan tradition, and has never completely died out.” He pointed to the controversy around Maurice Sendak’s 1970 children’s book “In the Night Kitchen,” which centered on the illustrations showing the naked — and anatomically correct — little boy whose nocturnal adventures make up the story.

“Anything with any sexual content is likely to attract attention and hostility,” said Joan Bertin, the executive director of the National Coalition Against Censorship. “Regardless of the nature of its message — whether it is deemed to be helpful or instructive or insightful in some way or just merely titillating — people don’t make that distinction.”

In fact, banned book lists can be a great resource for parents looking for books that teach kids about the world and themselves.

When your children read books that have been challenged or banned, you have a double opportunity as a parent; you can discuss the books themselves, and the information they provide, and you can also talk about why people might find them troubling. Here are a few books that are often challenged, yet present great opportunities for children to learn.

“IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL: CHANGING BODIES, GROWING UP, SEX AND SEXUAL HEALTH” BY ROBIE HARRIS. Your children should have age-appropriate books to help them learn about bodies, and you can find plenty of those on any list of banned or challenged books. This book, with illustrations by Michael Emberley has become a classic of information about bodies, development, and sexuality. First published in 1994, it has now gone through several editions and updates. Ms. Harris, who also wrote “It’s So Amazing,” for younger children, and “It’s Not the Stork,” for those even younger, says most of the challenges to her books have revolved around issues of gay sexuality, though masturbation and contraception can also be flash points. (She is also a good friend, and I have helped at times with pediatric questions on some of these and other books.)

“CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS” BY DAV PILKEY. This series, which has long been legendary for its compelling power over small boys, has sometimes been at the top of the most-challenged list, perhaps in part because (surprise) there are many jokes about undergarments. These books will definitely help children appreciate that bodies and their functions can be profoundly funny and silly (actually, most children seem to know this anyway).

In addition to being attacked for their potty-mouthed humor, the “Captain Underpants” books have come under scrutiny because they are full of children playing tricks and disobeying and generally creating havoc; again, as with Junie B. Jones and her big mouth, there is this strange sense that children need stories about obedient model children.

“ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME, MARGARET” BY JUDY BLUME. In this widely beloved novel by Judy Blume, originally published in 1970, but still on the most-challenged list, the narrator is deeply preoccupied with the when and how of menstruation. An other Judy Blume perennial, “Deenie,” which came out in 1973, is about a young girl struggling with scoliosis and the brace she has to wear, but it was the most attacked of her books, Ms. Blume says, because it included references to masturbation.

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   Much of the controversy about Judy Blume’s books centered around information about puberty. “I think the feeling was, if my child doesn’t read this, my child won’t know about it or it’s not going to happen to my child,” said Ms. Blume. “I used to get up there on stage and say, I have news for you, your kids are going to go through puberty whether you like it or not, so why not help them — it’s going to happen whether they read my books or no books or somebody else’s book.”

Ms. Blume said that often when adult tourists come into Books & Books Key West, the independent bookstore that she helped found and where she often works, they want to tell her how much they learned from her novels. “It’s like, thank you, thank you, my mother never told me anything and I wouldn’t have known anything without your books.”

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Ms. Blume said she recently sold a copy of “And Tango Makes Three,” the 2005 book by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell about two male penguins who hatch an egg and raise the baby together (you’ll find it on the list of challenged picture books) to a man who had just adopted a little girl with his male partner. “That’s my new thrill as a bookseller,” she said, “to put that right book into the hands of someone who appreciates what it’s saying.”

“I AM JAZZ” BY JESSICA HERTHEL AND JAZZ JENNINGS.  This 2014 picture book about being transgender has been at the center of controversy recently with some schools coming under attack for using it in the curriculum, and others arguing that it can be helpful in teaching tolerance.

Some banned and challenged books upset adults because they teach children that the world is a complicated and sometimes disturbing place, in which good people sometimes behave badly and evil sometimes goes unpunished. This category stretches from modern young adult “problem novels” to great classics of literature. What makes a book “disturbing” often is tied to what makes it interesting or important or worth reading.

If you look over lists of frequently challenged young adult books, you’ll find everything from “The Chocolate War” by Robert Cormier (challenged for violence and for scenes of masturbation) to Anne Frank’s “Diary of a Young Girl” (challenged for sexual explicitness and for depressing tragic outcome). Also on the list — Alice Walker’s “Color Purple” (challenged for sexual explicitness and bad language), and of course, “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” which last month was removed from classrooms and libraries in schools in Accomack County, Va., along with “To Kill a Mockingbird,” when a parent complained that the books contained racial slurs.

Those are all books I came across and read on my own, growing up, and yes, they were disturbing, in places, and yes, there were things I didn’t completely understand, and basically skipped over to return to on later readings. (This is a very valuable skill possessed by most precociously bookish children.) I was never forbidden any book by my book-loving parents (we all know what the result would have been), and I don’t think I ever tried to stop my children from reading any book (we all know what the result would have been), though I occasionally said something like, “I think that one may creep you out, so maybe you want to wait.”

One of the jobs — and joys — of parenthood is recommending books at what you think are the right ages. On of the corollaries is that sometimes you get it wrong and your child is not ready — or is much farther along than you thought. Mostly, as a parent, you should be glad and proud if your child is a reader.

In fact, many of the books which are on the most-challenged lists are also frequently assigned as classics (and being assigned may be what gets you challenged). Common Sense Media has a nice list of books on this border between classic and controversial, suggesting parents and kids read them together and discuss why people find them disturbing.

As a parent, I was dazzled when my daughter’s high school summer reading assignment was to choose a book “out of your comfort zone,” however the student chose to define it. Because that is, of course, what literature does, and part of the glorious freedom (and human right) of literacy is the opportunity to journey with words well beyond your comfort zone.