#rambles about my personal life
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If you ever needed to know the extent of how the I/P conflict is fandomized, there is a popular post going around with a Sailor moon sticker saying Free Palestine and all the comments are talking about how it's their aesthetic and they totally need to buy it
Because this doesn't matter to them, it's just the cool hip and trendy thing
#and here i thought i could just return to talking about magical girls when WanPre comes out#seems not#seems no matter what goyim can freely talk about fandoms and make my life a fandom#while i need to defend my existence and feel if I talk about anything else I'll be invalidated#fuck goyim. my trust has been broken. I'm never returning to fandom again#mango rambles#personal fruits#jumblr#ישראבלר#ישראל
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i really like how canonically yuu is genuinely supportive of grim wanting to be a great mage. if i recall correctly, even character voice lines point this out. and it seems like yuu dotes on grim a lot and defends him too??? yuu even encourages grim's ambitions whenever he declares wanting to be a great mage. and also when he does that boss-henchhuman dynamic. i mean yeah you can interpret it as yuu saying that being condescending and sarcastic as if they're talking to a child saying "when i grow up i want to be famous!" but like. i really think they're genuine when mc loves grim in their own way.
even if grim is usually a menace, he's become like family to yuu.
and i'm pretty sure grim feels the same way.
think about it this way. despite all the mess, all the unpredictability, the danger, and all the drama being in nrc. what's always the constant? yuu goes home at the end of the day to the ramshackle dorm (basically their home at this point considering they slowly but surely fix it up over time) and with who? “the great mage” grim. as the sole outcasts in that academy, they both sleep soundly knowing they will always have each other at the end of the day.
#2nd anniversary event got me feeling things#and honestly just thinking about that grim overblot theory#if that's true i believe grim's breaking point would be yuu finally beginning to leave through the dark mirror#and then overblotting leaving the dark mirror room in ruins like we see in the beginning of the game#he does not want them to leave#they WILL stay there#the great grim refuses to be alone in that “ramshackle” dorm#[—✦-#-✧ twst rambles#twisted wonderland#twst#twst grim#twst yuu#twst ramshackle#-✦—]#god at first grim was REALLY made to be unlikeable#then overtime (personally) grim had just really grown on you#i will defend grim with my life now >:(
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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.
genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.
you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.
I'm really normal about this, actually
#sbs rambles#omegle#it wasn't always serious ofc. there was a lot of lighthearded silliness#but I usually went in for the darker sadder stuff that built up to a happy ending#there's really a special form of intimacy when you and an internet stranger are each controlling a fictional character#and describing them doing things like bandaging each other's wounds#checking each other for bruises. asking them to talk about what they've been through. great stuff!#I hope there are still places where people do stuff like this. like I know there are forums and servers for this but that's not the same.#and I mean. I keep thinking ''there must be other places like this!'' but then I remember the goodbye message when omegle shut down#and...I dunno. the internet is different now#we don't live in that world anymore#anyway if you ever RP'd sherlock stuff on omegle you might have talked to me. :) we might have written something together#and despite it being superwholock-era fandom “cringe”#I'm proud of that#that was a really important part of my life#it was fun :) though I definitely had issues I wasn't willing to confront yet lmao#and I wish I had saved more of the logs :/#oh! I also liked the moments where you'd have to take a break#like you could be right in the middle of something intense and then the other person would be like#(brb I have to finish making dinner for my husband) and you'd say (sure!)#and then 20mins later you'd start up again where you left off
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Controversial take but it’s actually not the job of random disabled people to educate your kids on disabilities. If your child stares, asks a rude question, or gets in the way of a disabled person, the responsibility falls on you to deal with that. It’s not the child’s fault for being curious or uneducated (that is quite literally the JOB of children) but it’s also not the job of a literal stranger to parent your kid for you.
#'but teaching kids about disabilities leads them to be adults who are less ableist' yes I agree.#but a random disabled person just trying to live their life is not required to teach kids about disabled people#as the parent it is YOUR job to educate your child about disabled people.#I'm just trying to get a fucking bagel Sharon.#disabled#disability#physical disability#ableism#my ramblings
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Sorry for being such a poopyhead and letting my negative emotions take ahold of me and control my thought process for nearly 3 days guys anyways self-esteem has been recovered (somewhat) and now I'm just doing a colorblind challenge using Caine to test if I can still paint
(I disabled colors on my screens and therefore CANNOT see any of the colors even in this screenshot, I'm relying purely on values and all I can see are black and whites) (EDIT: Okay, I forgot the exception to this challenge was Caine's eyes because I wanted it to be the same as his original palette just in case this attempt's palette was too unrecognizable.)
I also discovered I like cooking as a hobby during those 3 days of self-reflection. I should stop being terminally online more often
#Ziku's insane rambles#life update#personal post#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#caine#art wip#digital art#the last three days were both hellish and eye-opening#so I'm still glad I took that break#turns out it's even what I needed for myself#before I took the break I was having MAD doubts about my artistic skills and very bad thoughts#now I'm back on the saddle again#sometimes all you need is to take a step back#when things feel overwhelming; step away from the keyboard#trust the process :)
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If there's one thing I learned from Transformers One, its that if you want to make a transformers fan happy, all you need to do is have one (1) scene where their favorite character exists.
No line deliveries, no standing in the foreground, not even being named. Just take a rendered character, place them randomly in the background, and you'll have fans hollering in delight while taking a million screenshots.
Remarkable, 10/10. Never have I seen people so excited to watch a movie where a random guy is acknowledged for half a second. Are you guys this starved or is this just what its like when the media has hundreds of different characters
#transformers#transformers one#maccadam#text post#shoutout to the videos ive already seen of 'every time prowl and ironhide show up'#and that one person w the bluestreak screenshot#im sure someone has a video of jazz#love the friend who lost their mind when i said 'oh yeah the announcer mentioned the name skyfire?'#i say this like i dont also go here now#friends got me invested in it like a week before transformers one dropped and now im going on insane ramblings about bumblebee#i started reading the comics. i have seen the entirety of cyberverse and s1 of prime#im like halfway thru s1 of earthspark and g1#i live here now#anyways#TRANSFORMERS FANS!#DROP ME A SIGN THAT DRIFT EXISTS IN TRANSFORMERS ONE#AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
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" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "
i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...
also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.
#my urge to attempt writing a fic based on this is SO STRONG. even though i do not have a lot of experience w/ fic writing#buT GAAAA I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LAST TWO EPISODES AND KUROBA....#it's hard to put into words rn but god there's so much.....#like. kuroba trying to help out matsuyo behind the scenes since they sympathize with how hard things can be when i loved one ->#is in the hosptial due to something that could've been life threatening ( matsuzou's heart attack & chouji's hip + leg injury )#i also think they personally delivered some get-well flowers to matsuzou and checked up on him in the hospital#that's not even getting into everything that happens after the sextuplets die...#i won't go into it rn but there's a reason why matsuyo & matsuzou are very keen on kuroba marrying into the family#ALSO I FINALLY DREW A BACKGROUND AGAIN AFTER 50 YEARS#now ya'll have a lil insight on what the inside of kuroba's shop looks like hehe#hopefully my rambling is making sense rn. i hope it is 😭#osmt#yumematsu#osomatsu-san oc#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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I love Legend sick fics because they all boil down to: "no amount of emotional stress will make him crack so let's give him a fever and see how that works"
#I'm uhh. kind of collecting sick fics to last me the week /hj#I have my wisdom teeth out tomorrow so#grabbing fanfic and soft foods for life support#anyone have recommendations? if you want to share#my health is bad but I'm a redhead so anaesthesia generally goes well for me?#idk I'm nervous about it so my solution is to turn to fanfic for some reason#might be because fanfic is awesome :P#I'm rambling now sorry for my odd use of tags#poor legend#Lu legend#personal#fandom#also remember you are loved <33
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i think clover is equally as tight lipped about their past as flowey is. i think those two would have spent so much time together that they intimately know each other's likes and dislikes, do's and dont's, which buttons can be pushed and which can't. yet when it comes to each other's backstory, all that comes up is a blank
#personally I see clover as someone who is more than aware that their childhood/home life was far from great#and generally clover is someone who focuses on the present and future rather than dwelling in the past. they're outrunning all their issues#i think clover goes to great lengths to avoid thinking about their past,while flowey thinks about his past pretty often with mixed feelings#Clover doesn't talk bc they don't want to think about it themself. flowey doesn't talk bc he doesn't want anyone to know anything about him#their backgrounds can be guessed at from how they act. but anything they know abt each other is all theories n observation. nothing solid#undertale yellow#clover uty#flowey the flower#luckypatch#my ramblings
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i cannot ever get over gi-hun actually. the fact that he chooses to believe in the good of humanity even after witnessing what he has, and that he joins the games AGAIN with (mathematically) even LESS chances of survival JUST because he wants to save people, people who DON'T CARE, people who are SELFISH and who continuously betray and hurt him just fucking KILLS ME. a very big critique from many people (and i've noticed, especially men) about the second season and gi-hun's character is that he is stupid. they find him to be stupid that he has this weak spot for an uncaring crowd, that he comes back to the games to save people who wouldn't think of him twice, instead of going to his daughter. they think that him caring and despising a system this deeply is a sign of weakness and stupidity.
but if anything, i find it admirable. maybe i can't bring myself to hate him because i think i'd do the same thing. i watch him on-screen and think, "yeah, i would do that too", every single mistake, every single thing, i get him. and he may look stupid to some but i think if anything, he's just too caught up in an ideal world in which people care, but i find it admirable that this is his personality even after witnessing the previous games. he still has hope, they haven't wiped it away from him. comparing him to in-ho is like night and day, because in-ho was broken by the games and came back to perpetuate that same hurtful system, while gi-hun was broken by the games and came back to break the people that created the system, and the system itself.
he speaks to me, as an individual who clings to hope until his very last breath, who can never seem to learn from his mistakes because he is so stubborn, he wants to prove that humanity could, and should, have hope and that it's worth to fight for it, not to just leave for a different continent and forget about it. that's what draws me to him, this endless fight in him, i can't find him stupid because he's so desperate to change things. and he never gives up even after his friends die before him.
idk i just am really unwell about gi-hun. i think people treat him too harshly. i'm unsure how well this is worded, but what i really want to say is that i don't think he should be perfect and immediately learn from every single mistake he has ever made. the fact that he is this broken given his past, even before the games he's set up as this really caring and traumatized individual, and that they double down on his same characteristics that make him so incredibly real... he's just really special to me. i really admire the way he is written and i think he's a really good representation of people who fight for a change even when it all seems lost. he's just that kind of guy that doesn't, couldn't, will never give up. and i really love that.
#he's so fucking stubborn and i get why people see him as an idiot; because they're people that think things don't change#that people will always stay the same and life will never get any better; people who don't have fight in them; people without hope#but that's exactly why i like gi-hun; he's the opposite of them; he wants to change things and for things to change even if it kills him#and to his last fucking breath he will want things to change; to his last breath he will rebel against the system#maybe he shouldn't have come back to the games; maybe he should've gone to america to live a life of comfort; maybe he should have stopped#fighting a long time ago#but he didn't. because he's not that type of person. he's the type of person that keeps fucking fighting. until his very last breath.#i think he's a really beautiful character. that's the only way i can describe him atp: beautiful. he's got a kind soul. he has hope.#i understand why some people don't like him or disagree with his morals; i really do. i do sometimes think there's no hope and that the -#system and that people will never change. but there need to be people like gi-hun for things to change.#you can't just forget about the games and go to america to live a life of comfort; ignoring the fact that things are bad for fake comfort.#sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and go out and rejoin those damn games. even if it kills you.#there needs to be people like gi-hun in this world. there just needs to be.#we would never get anywhere without people like gi-hun.#seong gi hun#gi hun#player 456#squid game#character analysis#my rambles
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thinking about this right now
#nettsy rambling#nsr#struggling for words rn because i woke up like 45 minutes ago but are you guys seeing the parallel here#thinking about how both west and eve said these things during their frenzied/angered(?) rants#in which they both tear down zuke in a perhaps unsuccessful attempt at making them feel better about themselves/'greater' than him#and therefore undeserving of his [defiance] ...#(as in. disappearing and suddenly having formed Bunk Bed Junction after everything they did together#and 'stealing my friends AND my girl' in west's case)#[for the record 'defiance' is probably NOT the word but it's the closest thing to what i'm attempting to convey here]#anyways#... all of which i think was really just Zuke growing and developing as His Own person. separate from both eve and his brother#who i'm assuming were the Main forces in his life during his college career#*scratches head*#hiding this in the tags because idk well i articulated it#but you get what i mean right
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I think what I struggle with most is that whole “each character has a different voice” thing.
Because in my head and when I write, for me personally, I do think my characters have different voices when talking or like being pov character.
But then I’m thinking ‘but do they really?’
Because I never actively given them different voices. Like I’m aware of some of their quirks but even those I don’t build in knowingly but more instinctively.
I write them without paying much attention to their voice, not actively that is.
So whenever I try to do pay attention and ask myself do their voices sound different or like try to actively make them talk different it feels so off.
So idk I hope that the way my ocs have different voices in my head when I write them translates good enough into my writing because I can’t actively try and make them sound different.
#actively trying to make them sound different makes them sound unnatural sometimes like they’re not themselves#either this comes instinctively for me or I’m just failing at it and doesn’t notice cause I lack the insight#because I never actively pay attention to the way people talk in real life either#yet my way of speaking and/or texting is always tailored to the person I’m conversing with#so yeah it’s more of an unintentional thing for me#and I guess that’s why I’m not really good at this voice thing#or we’ll struggle to find out if I actually do it or not#it’s easier in povs than in dialog because I think Talon and Aiden’s povs do differ a lot. I noticed in the Christmas movie au#because I never wrote Talon before#i gotta do a ramble post about this topic too tbh#writer speaks#writeblr#wip: the knights of the alder
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woe, doodles be upon ye
#could you tell I watched hxh. CRAZY THAT IT HAS SO MANY OF MY FAVORITE TROPES#I’m not allowed to talk about it though bc I’ll spoil my friend. Hi dips. Otherwise my Kite art would be in this one#also wow. Mario fanart!!#NEVER make paper with seaweed worst mistake of my life. I did put Mario horror game art on it but overall terrible experience personally#and of course. Mob psycho takes up the most room. I’m still here folks you can’t make me leave#ok tags now#cowardly draws#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#dimple#mp100 dimple#reigen arataka#Teruki hanazawa#see there’s technically context to the flowey ones that make it not undertale but feel free to tag that if you wish#hxh#hunter x hunter#hxh pitou#gon freecss#btw my favorites are kite pitou and gon. Which is really obvious I bet#super mario#mario bros#mario the music box#mtmb#shoutout to ollie bandtrees for telling me about that one#I totally didn’t spend hours trying to get every ending#DEAR LORD THESE TAGS ARE A YAPFEST#erm. if you made it this far congrats on getting through my deranged rambles????
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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[sits up suddenly from my coffin] anybody fuck with my super danganronpa 2 x guy who didnt like musicals au
#i dont post my art for several months and then i return. back into danganronpa once again. and actively combining it with my other interests#for fun and whimsy.#sdr2#nagito komaeda#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2#hajime hinata#chiaki nanami#robin draws#anyways other than returning to danganronpa ive just been drawing ocs so i havent had much to share#yes thats ibuki vaguely in the bg she gets to be chiakis boss#sonia gets to be zoey so that she gets to control a helicopter and point a gun at hajime and chiaki#obv things have to be shifted around and changed for them to make sense in their roles but i think hajime as paul is the most#untouched one bc thats just early game hajime where he's freaking out about the fuckass island and how weird everything is#fuyuhiko gets to effectively be the role of bill with peko as alice but obv theyre not a father/daughter dynamic for this au#its altered. to fit Them. and their whole deal they got going on.#maybe fuyuhiko had tried to tell peko to leave and go live her own life but she came back for him and then. Oopsies. join the hive#gundham as professor hidgens would be so fucking funny. you must understand. instead of an alexa he's talking to his devas.#nagito tbh would work as professor hidgens but i made him fill mr. davidsons role for the sole fact of his song being the effective#“i want” song and that just felt too right to pass up#kazuichi fills the role of ted and he's mad that hajime didnt bring sonia#mikan filling charlottes role. junko is sam. i dont think i have to explain further. obv junko isnt a cop thats altered to fit her.#also no ted charlotte affair for this kaz has his eyes set on sonia and only sonia still and mikan has her beloved :)#also i just wanted mikan to have “join us (and die)” bc ogoghgoghgho thats one of my fav songs#greenpeace girl gets to be mahiru cause the personality just feels right.#imposter is Everywhere. i wanted to stick them in a designated role so bad but tbh they're just always there in a diff disguise#anyway im done tag rambling i've been brewing this in my brain for like a week.#feel free to let me know if i was cooking or not and offer ur own ideas and thoughts
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Me if DFO isn't canon
#LOOK IM RAMBLING A LOT ABOUT THIS ONLINE AND IN REAL LIFE I LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON#spoilers#bnha#mha#all for one#afo#dfo#dad for one#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#with how much attention is being given to the DFO theory and then Horikoshi decides that Hisashi is just Some Guy™....#....... (relics of a past time before the reveal ig)#if dfo is real maybe can we get some backstory with inko or something?#like a shojo-manga 3 chapters and its just afo fucking w/ inko stringing her along the whole time and then going “PEACE” once izuku is born#if dfo isnt canon then. then what. what about all these points and thoughts everyones come up with?#tis i boo boo the fool#what if horikoshi never elaborates on midoriyas dad and the fanon is so strong that others genuinely think its real canon after the fact?#“yeah no Hisashi is just some guy i made for Izuku's checkup to say hes Quirkless” NOOOOO WAITTTTTT#(someone mightve made this meme already?)#(i dunno)
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