#every single one of them has had horrible side effects

[sunflowersolace]

my mom wants to medicate me at all costs

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[starlene]

HJ7

“Henry Jekyll literally doesn’t know what hits him when he closes the door of his library behind him. Out of nowhere, there’s a fist in his face. His lip splits from the punch.”

A what-if fic where John Utterson gets to taste formula HJ7. 

Musical verse (specifically that production of the musical that had Utterson canonically in love with Jekyll and implied they had slept together at some point that’s given me permanent brainworms… but feel free to substitute that with your own favourite production.) Extremely unhappy and generally upsetting.

~

Maybe one day, John Utterson walks into Dr. Henry Jekyll’s empty laboratory.

Maybe the door is left slightly open, as if by accident, and he decides to go inside. Maybe, when inside, his curiosity gets the better of him and he rummages through his friend’s belongings. Maybe he comes across his diary and reads some of the latest entries, a series of incoherent scribbles where Henry seems to celebrate a great success and to describe a horrible accident at the same time.

And maybe, for reasons best known to himself, he decides to have a drink from the glass bottle he finds next to the diary, holding some of the ruby-red elixir the ecstatic entries seem to be referring to.

Unlike Edward Hyde, after the effects of formula HJ7 kick in, John Utterson doesn’t go on a rampage. He feels stronger than usual, and bolder – but he doesn’t want to shout that out for all the world to hear. Instead, his newly cleared mind is focused on a single track of thought. He puts the bottle with the rest of the elixir into his pocket and goes to Henry’s library to wait.

While waiting, he methodically rips apart every single book on the uppermost three shelves of the bookcase by the door.

~

Henry Jekyll literally doesn’t know what hits him when he closes the door of his library behind him. Out of nowhere, there’s a fist in his face. His lip splits from the punch.

Of course Henry fights back. At first, he just hits his attacker without thinking. The attacker hits back, with more force and precision than Henry. Henry’s ears are ringing, his lip and nose are bleeding, he’s losing his balance. It’s only after the two of them have fallen down and are wrestling on the floor that Henry knows for sure that his opponent is John. He has never seen his friend like that, his eyes so dark with fury he can hardly recognise him.

The fight is over soon as John easily emerges the victor. Henry is lying on the floor and John is sitting on top of him, holding him down by the base of his throat. Henry’s lip is throbbing with pain, and he is panting, his chest rising and falling under John’s palm. John presses his hand down hard enough that Henry doesn’t attempt to wriggle away, but not as hard as to take Henry’s breath or speech away.

“What the fuck? What the fuck, John, what is wrong with you?”

“I love you, Henry.”

“What? Is that why you hit me, what–”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I love you. And I hate myself for it.”

Henry is hurting all over and his head is spinning. His past weeks with Hyde have been full of surprises, but running around town having his revenge and his fun has done nothing to prepare him for his best friend’s sudden assault and confession.

“I have loved you for so long. Almost half of my life. I hate it. You’re always in my mind. I can’t have a moment to myself without you there. I want you out of my mind, but I can’t, you’re always there and I can’t stop loving you. God, Henry. I love you more than anything. I hate you for it.”

John’s words are shocking, but Henry has already stopped paying full attention to them. Instead, he stares into John's eyes. His pupils are so dilated they look completely black and his gaze is wandering, not focused on anything in particular. Just as Henry is beginning to understand what might be going on, a flash of ruby catches his attention. From the corner of his eye, he spots a half-empty glass bottle lying next to a pile of destroyed books on the other side of the room.

There can only be one explanation for this.

Henry can’t help himself: he suddenly feels very inquisitive, almost frantically so. Now that he knows personally what his new formula is capable of, it would be too dangerous to even think of testing it on anyone else. But if a test subject volunteers like this, well… The scientist in Henry is already making observations and taking mental notes. It’s so fascinating to see the effects of his formula on another person, he doesn’t hear what John is saying anymore.

“John, how much of the formula did you take?”

John answers by switching his right hand to the base of Henry’s throat and slapping his face with his left. Henry feels a new gush of blood spurting from his lip.

“LISTEN TO ME! Will you for once in your life listen to me? You’re so incredibly selfish. It’s always your studies, and your experiments, and it doesn’t matter to you what happens to the people around you because you simply don’t care.

You’re so fucking selfish, Henry. When you get some idea in your mind, you act like it’s the only thing in the world that matters, and everyone else is just there to make it happen. And when it doesn’t happen, you act like it’s the fault of everyone else but yourself. Like no one else has dreams or even any sense in his head than you.

God. Some days I hate you for all that. And yet I want you. I can’t help it. I want you so much, but I know you don’t want me. It destroys me. It destroys me to remember how we tried it once, and how you ran away afterwards. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten about that. I can’t forget it. I can’t forget how it felt when you woke up and pushed me aside and ran away.

And yet I want you. God. Not anyone else, I never have, just you. I want to have you. I want to fuck you, but I can’t have that. I want to love you, love you as my husband and not as my friend, but I can’t have that. I can only have you as my friend, so I try to be the best friend I can be, though for God’s sake, you don’t make it easy. But I try, so I can have you like that. That at least as a friend, I can be closer to you than anyone else.

But now that you’re getting married to your precious fiancée, soon I can’t even have you like that anymore.”

John stops his tirade for a moment, as if to allow all his accusations some time to sink in. Henry doesn’t say anything, but he thinks, it’s not like that. He loves Emma like one loves taking a walk across a sunlit meadow on a beautiful spring day. And he loves John too, like one loves sitting by a warm fireplace after a rainstorm. He loves them both, in completely different ways, and it has never occurred to him that by inviting Emma into his life he would be pushing John out of it.

But he doesn’t love John like John loves him, that much is true. He can’t be John’s. He can’t be anyone’s. Not even Emma’s, not completely, he doesn’t want to be–

Henry wheezes as John moves his hand higher on his throat. As his assailant speaks again, he sounds very close to tears.

“Henry, I can’t go on like this. I can’t go on loving you so much. I want it to stop. Why can’t I make it stop? I can’t stop thinking how you’re the only thing that I want. That I’ve ever wanted. I live for you, and you don’t even notice it. You make it so hard for me. I can’t bear it anymore.”

John is crying now, he is leaning over Henry and his tears are falling on his face.

“I love you so much, but my life, everything… It would be better without you. It would be better if you didn’t exist.”

A wave of fear courses through Henry, sudden and white and hot, like molten lead. His formula has clearly unleashed a torrent of fury and misery within John, stronger than Henry could ever have believed his friend capable of feeling. But now, with the grip on his throat tightening further, Henry understands that simply hurting and intimidating him might not be enough for this new side of John. No. He might actually be dangerous.

And with John already being the sturdier and stronger of them, even without HJ7 in his veins boosting his strength… More and more waves of white-hot fear are storming in Henry now. He’s starting to panic, he knows he can’t fight back, but he tries to think, think, think.

Henry knows that in a situation like this, Hyde wouldn’t agree to any bargain, but maybe John’s is a different beast. Maybe he can be negotiated with. John’s grip is getting almost too tight for Henry to speak, but it’s not quite there yet. He decides to take his chance and beg.

“John, please… Don’t. You can do anything else to me. Anything you want. I want you… I want you to do it, whatever you like. Just please don’t kill me.”

John’s pitch-black eyes stare straight into Henry’s for a moment.

“I mean it. I’m yours. I’m yours. Anything you want. Just… Please…”

The hand holding Henry by the throat lets go. Henry gasps for breath as John scoops him up from the floor and squeezes him against himself. It hurts when he pushes his mouth against Henry’s split lip.

Henry’s blood flows in their mouths and seals their kiss.

[ancientbygone]

bygone lore: Sleep

finally found it in me to write my thoughts/worldbuilding on Sleep in one place. this is taking so much courage to post this to the public, no joke, so i hope it's entertaining! not sure how much sense it all will make, but nevertheless.

okay, so. i just don't think Sleep is any sort of sleep/dream deity. not for any solid reason, just because 1) the only descriptions we get of it are secondhand from what Sleep has told to Vessel & i personally have no reason to trust Sleep with how manipulative that shit is and 2) i think it would be more fun that way, especially taking the first point into account. i legit just think that Sleep lied to Vessel about its nature to further whatever goals it had and Vessel passed the information onto us oblivious to the truth. i still think it's a relatively powerful supernatural force though. easy enough for a human like Vessel to be convinced that it is a god. more of a feeling than an actual entity, but still with its own sentience and wants and goals. could be whatever makes the most sense to anyone, but my personal take on what Sleep is instead of a dream god (what it is in my version of the lore) is that it's all the desires of every living thing congealed into a single being with a mind of its own. 

[cont. under the cut]

i think that works well personally! the lyrical themes of give/take and longing and Wanting from both sides make sense with it. even the "i want to want to live, and so do you" in Fall For Me. Sleep is driven by wanting, and being made from wanting itself, when it gets what it wants it just continues to go further, to the next step of its desires, ever insatiable. it becomes entwined with Vessel because when they meet for the first time, they want the same thing. they're both dying, and still they want to want to live. to be more precise, Sleep wants fuel; its existence relies largely on humans, and it needs someone who feels strongly and passionately (please don’t ask me why it’s dying, i don’t even know and don’t want to look too much into it). Vessel, on the other hand, wants a way to turn around his life that he may or may not have driven into the ground, and he believes that it cannot be fixed by any existing means, which is why he's lost all hope in living anymore. but those two desires perfectly coincide, do they not? they can help each other get what they want. so they try. 

it doesn't work out. it backfires horribly, in fact. i've talked about it before, but i think it's very important to mention regardless. Sleep, being pretty much desire incarnate, may have harbored certain negative feelings of its own towards humanity, but they never would've become anything if it were not for Vessel. Vessel's anger at the world around him, the way he believes he has been wronged by everyone, is palpable, and with Sleep having to draw on Vessel's emotions to survive for the time being, that anger infects it, too. the passive unnamed negativity becomes a strong desire to take revenge. with all of it combined, Sleep's supernatural power and Vessel's uncontrollable rage slowly takes over both of them, and Him is born, a despicable thing. it's all-consuming blind rage taking on a mind of its own, much like how Sleep came to be but so much more unstable and volatile. the revenge on humanity doesn't go further than a single person torn to bits with bare hands and teeth, both too dull to be effective, but that thing is nothing it not fucking determined. it does fall apart immediately after, though, because it was barely together as is and killing someone was the tipping point for Vessel's consciousness somewhere deep in there. plus Vessel’s body honestly couldn't sustain Him for much longer. sorry for the tangent, i really love talking about that fucked up abomination.

but yeah, this experience changes both of them forever. Sleep gets a taste of feeling human emotions to a full extent, arguably even more so because of just how much Vessel feels; Vessel gets a taste of wielding inhuman power and releasing his emotions through it. Sleep's usual straightforward path of progression (just gaining more power, more control over more things) diverges as it realizes that it needs to feel like humans do again. Vessel, on the other hand, is fucking terrified of Him or something similar coming back, so he closes himself off and tries to repress his feelings back down again. he won’t let Sleep in again no matter how much he wants to be able to express his emotion with the same intensity as he feels them again. Sleep is well aware that Vessel wants that sort of relationship back, too. Sundowning is essentially Sleep trying to win Vessel back over and convince him to “help each other” once again, and realizing by Blood Sport that if Vessel doesn’t think he can handle it this time, he just needs to be made better suited for it. unfortunately, Sleep finds that breaking Vessel’s spirit, making him entirely emotionally dependent on it, and practically isolating him from the only people he interacts with on the daily (his bandmates) by stripping away his humanity in their eyes is very much a working strategy for getting him where it wants him to be.

Sleep’s tactics of manipulation are… algorithmic? for the lack of a better word, in the way that it doesn't really have a reason why exactly it's doing things other than that they're what's worked on Vessel so far. no real understanding of human psychology and whatnot, only trial and error until it pushes the correct set of buttons in the right order at the right time. it does learn more and more as their relationship progresses. Sleep also doesn’t exactly lie; it’s shapeless by nature & only able to embody what others put into it, and even then to a certain extent. it only really talks & shows itself to Vessel at any point because of their connection, and it’s able to draw from all of his emotions instead of just desire like any other human for that same reason. no matter what form Sleep takes, it’s always akin to a shadow, although the exact way the shadows look depends on who Sleep is showing itself to - drawing (pun intended) from Vessel’s artistic heart, Sleep looks to him like pencil on paper. Sleep does distort reality much in the same way that any emotion might - it pushes things to their extremes, makes them seem larger than life to get a response. as it grows and becomes more powerful in itself, it stops being able to appear as something smaller than it is, so pretty much any form it takes is an exaggeration of what it’s imitating. this ties directly into the mimics (see this (tmbte) and this (sundowning) for context), but also just. anything that Sleep appears as to Vessel. during TPWBYT, Vessel feels like his emotional repression is suffocating him, and Sleep’s most commonly assumed form during that time is a literal ocean that Vessel is often trapped in, drowning. during TMBTE, Vessel feels like he cannot escape his situation no matter how miserable it makes him feel, and Sleep appears to him as a reaper, taking that thought to its extreme conclusion that Vessel's only salvation might as well be death. even though Sleep isn’t a dream deity, its appearances still function on dream logic somewhat; it invokes the feeling of something in one’s subconscious that what they’re seeing is the actual thing Sleep is imitating, even if the actual visual resemblance is minor (that makes sense right please tell me it does).

what happens to Sleep once Vessel breaks free from him for good… i’m not entirely sure, honestly. it’s definitely not going to just disappear; a being of desire is going to exist as long as we still feel it. it isn’t gonna chase after Vessel, and i’m not really sure if it’d try and seek out another person to form a similar connection with. maybe we, the audience of Sleep Token living and feeling through Vessel’s music that has come from all his pain, sustain it well enough now. i don’t think it matters that much anyhow; Sleep is entirely unscathed either way afterwards, unlike Vessel. maybe i’ll figure out a little more eventually.

[penguwastaken]

This might be the hottest take of the century but I genuinely believe that despite having like a collective 10 minutes of screen time, Monokuma is utilized significantly better in DR3 than he is in V3.

What made Monokuma work as a villain and antagonist in the early entries is that while he's silly, he's genuinely a threat and he has a consistent looming presence. There's always a feeling of helplessness surrounding him and the sense that you can't escape from him no matter where you go that balances out his comedic side.

Take DR1 for example, Monokuma feels like he's always on your back and giving you no time to be alone or in peace. It feels like he could do something horrible if you do something as simple as looking at him funny.

DR2 takes a slightly different approach. Monokuma is more lighthearted but way more chaotic. Now he feels like a trigger happy god who will do whatever he wants whenever he wants just because he can. That feeling of helplessness remains because now he feels like an unstoppable force of nature without a care in the world.

On paper, V3 attempts to do something similar, but there's one problem… HE'S BARELY IN THE GAME. 😭

Almost all of the screen time that would have been dedicated to Monokuma is now dedicated to the last minute additions that are the Monokubs, AKA the exact opposite of an intimidating threat.

Monokuma feels pathetic in V3, he feels like a washed up old man who's only there because it's Danganronpa and they need to have the mascot in it. There's no sense of helplessness because he doesn't even feel like an actual threat, he's a boring joke now.

It feels like in V3 they wanted to go for the more chaotic Monokuma from DR2, but they forgot that what made Monokuma work in DR2 is that he was a consistent presence who actually meant business.

It feels like he's only ever there either to tell a joke or to sit around in the class trials. He never asserts himself and whenever he shows up I go "oh it's Monokuma again" instead of "oh shit what does he want this time."

As the series goes on, Monokuma gets more increasingly flanderized. The twisted, sadistic side gets less and less focus compared to his more silly chaotic side, which completely kills any threat factor he once had. You can argue that this is "the point" in V3, however whether it's the point or not means nothing if it actively harms the experience instead of benefitting it.

The scene in DR2 where Monokuma tells you just how many of him there are is extremely effective at making you hopeless, it makes you feel like you lost before you even started. DR1 and DR2 have plenty of moments like these, I can't name one from V3.

Now you might be thinking: "ermmm but Pengu, if Monokuma fails in V3 because he's barely there, then how come he works in DR3 when he has even less screen time in there?"

The answer is simple, they actually do something with his minimal presence. There's a thematic purpose that actually enhances the experience.

Monokuma in DR3 is very different from other depictions in the sense that he's not even there, not just in the sense that he's prerecorded. Junko is dead and so is Monokuma by extension.

But you know what isn't dead? The memory of them.

Monokuma may be dead, but the trauma he and the tragedy left behind still remains, THAT is the consistent looming presence in DR3.

Guilt and trauma are a consistent theme in DR3, so it makes sense that the big lingering threat would be the embodiment of them. The symbol of despair.

What do I mean by this? Well just look at the first episode. Just Monokuma's mere laugh is enough to send Makoto and the rest of the room into a panic.

You know what video is used to cause every single member of the Future Foundation to be overloaded with despair to the point where they commit suicide? Why, it's a video of just Monokuma, of course.

Just when things are starting to cool down, just when you're starting to think it's all over, the memories and the despair linger.

And that's why Monokuma's minimal presence works so well in DR3 and not V3, because now in DR3 he's just a haunting memory, one that will be with you forever. Because of that, his consistent looming presence is still there even if he's not.

Note: I updated a few things to hopefully make my point clearer

[kanene-yaaay]

Lending a Helping Hand (Tickletober Day 1)

Kanene's Notes: I wrote this on a whim, not gonna lie jhgtfdefghjdfgh. For some reason I suddenly felt compelled to participate of this lovely even so here I am! I am following both @/august-anon tickletober list and @/Jamiedraws mxtxtober list because I wanted to see what would come out of mixing those two together juygtfghjdcfgh I think most of my stories will be about mdzs so it seemed fitting :D Anyways, Day 1 - "Ghost" and "Antecipation".

Warnings: This is an AU. Ticklish!Jingyi and Ler!Wei Wuxian. Around 1.500 words.

[~*~]

The Patriarch Yiling was a devious monster, an empty shell of what had been once considered a man but now was known for atrocities beyond human comprehension. The sects still shivered at his name, parents used his story to make their children behave and other demonic cultivators dreamed of following his path, in archiving and surpassing the amount of power he once had. Every book that talked about The War talked of him. 

(But Hanguang Jun didn’t. He cut down every gossiping and always reminded them to have a critical mind when it came about the stories of one being told by another.)

But (almost) everyone could agree, he was a monster, and it was naive, crazy, even to believe you could win against him.

Jingyi was about to discover how crazy it was.

"Senior Wei!" He squirmed and ordered his hands to move, voice already trembling around the corners and getting a squeaky turn. It was all for nothing, just like before his own arms no longer answered him. Hysterical snickers began falling from his lips. "Stohohop! Why me?!"

"Well, you offered!" the ghost smiled and moved his hands towards him and with a scared kind of curiosity he watched as his own hands mirrored his move, wiggling fingers perfectly mirroring the older one in every mischievous twitch, getting closer until it was barely touching his clothes, still. The clear promise of a tickle attack made shivers run like electricity through his nerves. "Aiya, Jingyi! So young and your memory is betraying you already? Don’t you remember how you came to me so excited this morning, saying you wanted to help experimenting with my new ideas?"

Jingyi half groaned and half giggled. In his defense, it was very hard to try to remember something when a single finger decided to poke his ribs and make him dance from a side to another like he was performing the silliest of the dances. "Senior Wei!"

"Almost! Now repeat that but with less I-am-about-to-get-destroyed-by-ghost-tickles feeling. Don’t worry, I’ll help you remember.” Then, the ghost started doing a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like him. Jingyi would be bristling in protest if the (his?) hands found the horribly ticklish spot right next to his stomach and was trying to pinch it senseless. “'Senior Wei, Senior Wei! My classes have been canceled, can you believe? I can stay here with you the entire day!'" 

“This is not…” hs snorted and started to squirm even more, feeling himself slip more and more into titters. “Behehihing tickled to death was nohohot what I-I meheheant!"

Wei Wuxian chuckled mischievously, very much proud to realize that not even death took away his amazing tickling and teasing skills. He spent years honing it to perfect, afterall. “You should’ve been more clear, then. Or are you going back on your word, now? Tsk Tsk, and here I thought that the Lans prided themselves in their honor and fairness. Leaving a poor ghost here all alone, denying him his last wishes of experimenting and being happy before we part our ways. Refusing to even help me for a single day… Sniff. Where has the compassion gone in this new generation?"

Jingyi stomped his feet on the floor, protesting. The effect of it was dimmed by the giant smile going from ear to ear in his face. The hands now decided to “walk” with two fingers up and down his ribs, making his nerves dance with the anticipation and light tickling

"Y-you’re not going awahahay. And I can’t spend the entire day like this, stohohohop tickling me!"

“Tickling? I would never!” Wei Wuxian gasped and pulled his hands a few inches away from his skin, wiggling them in front of his face and giving the whole “ghost tickles” a new meaning as Jingyi squeaked and kept giggling uncontrollably, almost feeling this wiggling touch back on his torso. “See? I am not even touching you and you are still laughing, that has nothing to do with me.”

“I am nehehever-” his face was starting to get hot, looking at the playful way Senior Wei looked at him with a merciless grin definitely didn’t help. The more the older one kept poking, playing, teasing him, the more he felt that he would crumble in the very moment the actual tickling started. “nehehever helping yohohour experiments agahain.”

"Aw, but you must, Jingyi! Aren't you excited to know what will happen? Who will win, your natural defenses or my attack? Shizui, Don't you think it's an important research to know if ghosts can make you tickle yourselves?"

"It's not!" Jingyi's protesting words disappeared in a shriek when his hands pretended to lunge to his body, clawing, only to stop to hover above his belly. More uncontrollable, protesting giggles fell like a waterfall from his mouth. "Thahahat's stupid. Shihihihihizui, tell him!"

Shizui, like the good, righteous kid he was, pretended he heard nothing of their banter and kept feeding the rabbits hopping around him. When Wei Wuxian turned away snickering and twirling around Jingyi teasingly, he sent his friend an apologetic smile.

Wei Wuxian continued with plenty of mirth and dramatics. Delighted as always to be free to exercise his pranking rights. "Is that how you talk with your seniors? Lan Jingyi, what would Hanguang-Jun say?"

"He wohohohould protect me!"

"Would he, now? So where's your Hanguang-Jun, huh? To take you out of the evil Patriarch Yilling’s claws."

“Nohohot evil. Stohohop it.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin softened, for a moment. Then he lightened up once more. “Maybe I could even tickle him when he appears! It would take me much more energy but can you imagine? Is Hanguang Jun even ticklish? Have you ever seen he gig-" The ghost stopped as if he had been his, going from looking thoughtful for a moment then startled and embarrassed. If Jingyi didn't know him better, he could say a flash of hunger appeared in his eyes. Probably he was already going crazy because of the antecipation, though.

"Anyway!" He clapped his hands and Jigyi's own followed his moves. He tried once more squirm free from it, but it was impossible to concentrate his qi enough to push away the... possession? Control? Whatever this was before Wei Wuxian got a hold of it once again.

A loud squeal flew from his mouth when a finger poked too close his bellybutton, and he immediately descended in stronger giggling. 

The smirk that opened in Wei Wuxian face was positively evil. 

"I think we found a good spot." He sing-songed, the finger started circling his bellybutton, lightly scribbling the trembling skin around it, pulling guffaws that stopped him from pulling his belly away from the ticklish touch. Everytime it tried to twitch away, the finger would poke and poke and poke the button until he was too distracted to protest. “Sehehehenior Wei, wait!”

For a blissful second, he did.

Somewhere near, someone was letting out the most high pitched, half disparate and half joyful laughter. Jingyi felt his entire body want to run away, to squirm and trash and laugh with all the energy he was holding still. Only when he opened one eye to look at the floating ghost in front of him and his childhood friend smiling softly in the background did he realize he was the one responsible for these sounds. 

A silly snort intertwined in his laughter.

Wei Wuxian tapped a finger on his lips, pensative.

“Should I? Should I wait a bit more?” The finger scraped the tiniest bit on the walls of his bellybutton and Jingyi jumped on the same place, nodding and giggling and snorting and making himself stand still so the tickling wouldn’t be worse. “Hmmm, let me think about it…”

The finger kept light touches, soft tickles grazing the horribly ticklish skin. Jingyi shook his head at it.

Until it finally stopped.

A breath of air, his snickers were still filling the air.

Wei Wuxian tsked. “No. I don’t think I will.” 

And then attacked. 

(Shrieking, mirthful laughter danced in the air.)

[~*~]

Something something wat if Lan Wangji palyed Inquiry and Wei Wuxian answered something something what if he became closer to Shizui and Jingyi and watched and helped them as they grew up something something what if those 13 years of waiting were filled with his laughter and love something something.

[lestappenforever]

Then I want to for obviously Lestappen: 🤤

49. “You're so beautiful." "You are, too, you know."

39.: "Don't leave me alone." "I won't."

xx 😘

Ask, and you shall receive, my lovely. 💕

---

49. "You're so beautiful." "You are, too, you know.", and 39. "Don't leave me alone." "I won't."

Every time they're in Suzuka, Charles really fucking hopes it won't rain.

And every time it does rain, he has a heavy feeling in his chest. In his gut. Because a rainy day in Suzuka always brings back memories of Jules, and the crash that would eventually take Jules from him. From the world.

Although he knows the safety measures that have been impimented as a result of Jules' death have been effective — Romain Grosjean surviving his horrible crash in 2020 was living proof of that — Charles can never rid himself of the hint of anxiety that lingers in the pit of his stomach and in the back of his head whenever it rains in Suzuka.

It doesn't surprise him when it rains at the 2023 Japanese Grand Prix. But it does surprise him that he manages to finish P3 despite it all, just like he had done the year before.

And just like the year before, he's sharing the podium with Max, who of course added another P1 to his absolutely dominating season. The one thing that is different from 2022, though, is the fact that it's Lando standing on the P2 podium step, and not Checo.

It's one of the very few highlights to his otherwise shitty season, and Charles wants to revel in it. Wants to feel happy and proud of himself for managing another podium. Wants to hold on to the joy he sees on the team's faces as he looks down at them with his bottle of champagne in his hand.

And he does, because Charles Leclerc is nothing if not grateful for every positive result he manages.

But there's just something about the rain in Suzuka and the memory of Jules that puts a damper on it all.

It doesn't rain during the podium celebrations, but it does rain later, when Charles is back in his hotel room, standing at the large window and looking at the rain drops pounding against the glass. The rain is so heavy that he can't actually see much aside from the rain.

"You're so beautiful," Max says from the bed behind him, watching as the lights from outside cast a soft glow over the Monégasque's face, making his green eyes sparkle.

The only source of light coming from inside the room is a small lamp on the bedside table, on the opposite side of where Max is laying on his side, propped up on an elbow.

Charles turns his head to glance at him, a soft smile on his face.

"You are, too, you know."

Max mirrors Charles' smile with one of his own as he pushes himself up and swings his legs over the edge of the bed.

Charles turns back to the window as he hears Max coming up behind him, strong arms winding around his waist from behind.

"I bet he's so fucking proud of you up there," Max says, propping his chin on Charles' shoulder and looking up at the night sky outside, even though he can't see much of it through the falling rain. "They both are."

Charles places his hands on top of Max's arms, leaning back into the other man's warmth.

Max is not a religious man by any means and he doesn't know if he truly believes in the concept of heaven. But, he knows how badly Charles wishes for the people he has lost to be able to keep an eye on him, long after they're gone. And it costs him nothing to do his part to assure Charles that they do.

Charles hums. "I wish I could give them something more to be proud of this season."

"You give them plenty to be proud of, every single day," Max says immediately, arms tightening around Charles' waist.

Charles smiles again, a small, soft thing as he leans his head back against Max's shoulder. Max takes advantage of the position by pressing gentle kisses to Charles' exposed neck, making the Monégasque shiver slightly in his arms.

"Cold?" Max asks against the skin of Charles' neck, and Charles shivers again.

"No," he breathes, closing his eyes. "Tickles."

He feels Max smile at that before there's another series of kisses being pressed against his neck.

They stay like that for a long moment, not moving. Not speaking. Just holding on to each other as they listen to the rain against the window.

There's a heaviness in Charles' chest he knows won't disappear until they leave Japan.

"I know you need to go back to your room tonight," Charles begins softly, opening his eyes. "I just —,"

He trails off, biting his lip. They never spend the night together during race weekends, both knowing there's too much of a risk of getting caught.

Max lifts his head from Charles' shoulder and pulls back just enough so he can look at the other man. Charles turns his head to meet his gaze.

He doesn't say anything, waiting for Charles to continue. To elaborate.

"Don't leave me alone. Not tonight."

Max turns him in his arms and reaches up with one hand to cup Charles' cheek, keeping his other arm wrapped around Charles' waist.

"I won't."

It's a promise he makes while brushing his thumb carefully over Charles' cheekbone.

Charles breathes a sigh of relief, not having realized he was holding his breath until that very moment.

Max leans forward, resting their foreheads together.

"Any time you need me to stay, you just tell me. Okay?"

"But what if —,"

"Any time, Charles."

Charles stops trying to argue. Instead, he captures' Max's lips in a kiss. And Max kisses him back, like he does every single time.

The heaviness in Charles' chest isn't going to disappear until he leaves Japan.

But having Max next to him is at least going to make it a little easier to bear.

[topazadine]

Writing Research Notes: Politics

Estimated Reading Time: 11 minutes

Politics. They are horrible and everyone hates them. That's why I have an MA in International Relations.

Maybe you, like me, have decided to torment yourself by representing politics in your book. You may even be an extreme masochist and decide to have international politics.

Well, firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, and secondly, let's do a birds-eye view of what politics really is and how to represent it in your book.

This isn't perfect and it's not Political Theory 101, just some ideas for political representation geared toward writers. Alas, I cannot cram my entire MA into a post.

It's highly unlikely that you will need to elaborate all of this in your book, unless you are writing a purely political novel.

Please do not put all of this in your book. This is all about worldbuilding and can hum along in the background to create depth without boring everyone to tears.

Remember, you do not need to put every single thing that you create for your world into your book; a lot of it is just to help guide you. A few hints here and there can do a lot of work but not overwhelm the reader with things they don't care about.

And if you are writing a purely political novel, I would hope you would not need this little overview.

Basic theories of politics

Politics is, at its very essence, about balances and transfers of power.

This is true of every political system; the power is just distributed in different ways.

I know Wikipedia's not an academic resource, but this page lists all the many types of government structures to give you an overview of possible systems to use. Many of these can be mixed and matched; for example, you can have a representative democratic system that also has a monarch as a figurehead, like Great Britain.

Or you can have a "shadow" theocracy where a religious community has the greatest influence over government, even as the government claims to be a republic with representation from each region of the country.

Power shifts can come from a variety of sources, both internal and external.

If you're looking at international relations, the power balance inside one country is easily impacted by the balances in other countries, especially if that other country has greater influence.

For example, assume one government has decided to wage war against another country, but they're getting their asses kicked. Because war is expensive and people may have had to send their beloved children off to fight in another country, a government that can't get the job done quickly and easily is very vulnerable to a popular uprising.

Revolutions can also be contagious, even in an era without social media. If a neighboring country has an uprising, unless all countries are totally cut off from one another, citizens of other countries will see what's happening and take a good hard look at their own conditions. Then they may overthrow their own government and look to examples of others nearby to see what to do next.

Political decisions are about satisficing.

Satisficing means choosing the most optimal solution from an array of choices, most of which will involve some loss. No solution is perfect, and all require sacrifice.

A good leader must decide how much loss they are willing to take and what will lead to the least amount of harm for their people.

And what appears to be the optimal solution may have unforeseen side effects that could cause even greater harm.

For example, appeasing an aggressive nation right now might stop potential war, but it could also allow the enemy to become emboldened and strike later with greater force.

Government Systems

Government systems represent the history of a nation as much as the present.

Much as it would be fantastic if government systems kept up with the times cough cough America cough cough, in many ways, they are a time capsule of what a country used to be rather than what it is now.

This is because most governments have checks and balances in place to prevent rapid change and protect the equilibrium of the system; otherwise, they are vulnerable to coups and can be wiped away in an instant.

They also grow out of certain necessities and are shaped by their culture. So, for example, in my own world, Breme is a republic that has representatives from the different provinces and the tribespeople that make up part of the country. This is because the country started as a collection of disparate tribes that were forced out of their homeland and had to coexist in the smaller space they now controlled.

Tribal leaders would meet to discuss the welfare of their tribes and, as the centuries passed, this coalesced into a large council with sorta-representative figureheads for each area of the country.

Geography also plays a role in a government system.

Smaller countries are more likely to have a highly centralized power system because, well, it's easier and simpler. When most of the populace is close to the capital, you don't need a lot of goverment mouthpieces spread out through the region, and it wastes precious money and resources to do so.

A large, spread-out country is going to need a more elaborate system of government representatives in each region, which is how you get republics with intricate local governments.

Large-scale representative and democratic governments are a relatively new invention.

Now, it is true that there are small historical societies, mostly tribes, that did practice forms of democracy, but these were small.

Democracy as we know it now has only come about in the last 300ish years. So if you have a medieval society, it's very unlikely that you'd have a democracy.

If you want to figure out how to make it that work in a fantasy novel, go off, but it might be challenging depending on the history of your world; for example, is most of society functionally illiterate? Very unlikely that you'll have powerful people willing to let the masses participate.

International Relations

A good international system relies on sovereignty.

Note that I say a good international system, not necessarily the one that we have in our modern world.

Sovereignty basically means that each government has the right to self-administer within reason. Of course, if they turn machine guns on their citizens and violate human rights, then it is a moral imperative to intervene.

If they are not doing that, then other countries (theoretically) do not have the right to force regime change just because they don't like it. This does not mean that certain countries cough cough America cough cough don't do that, simply that they are not supposed to.

International relations requires a blend of cooperation, aggression, and deterrence.

Even in a system where it appears that the girls are fightingggg, there is still some cooperation going on with someone because warfare is expensive. (We will put aside the United States post WWII for the moment because that is a whole other issue.)

When two countries have no diplomatic relations, they are still cooperating with someone to get messages through. We see that with the US and North Korea; the US relies on Sweden and some other states as a mediator when dealing with North Korea. There's many of these triangulations that occur, particularly in regions with a lot of hostility.

A well-functioning country must decide when to use the carrot, when to use the stick, and when to sit back and hope no one bombs them during tense situations. The world is an interconnected system, so it behooves a government to improve trade relations, protect their borders, and ensure no one invades their sovereignty.

Governments use both hard and soft power to control their own people and shift international balances in their favor.

Hard power is exactly what you would expect: your ability to bankrupt another country or bomb them into oblivion. That includes some of the following elements.

Police forces

Military investments

Blockades or outright warfare

Provision or withdrawal of trade agreements

Trade embargoes

Directly manipulating the economic system of another country through investments or removal of investments

Soft power is about persuasion rather than coercion: building a positive reputation for your country and making people want to work with you. This often involves cultural exchanges, media, and "philanthropy" on behalf of the country, such as the following.

Entertainment industries, including literature, movies, and music

State-funded study abroad scholarships (both inside and outside the country)

Tourism

Work visas

Cultural exchanges, like state-funded dance troops traveling the world

Philanthropy

Conferences and consortiums

In the Olden Dayes, marriages between nobles or royals to create greater political alliances

While hard power is more obvious, and therefore more discussed, soft power is more diffuse and more prevalent.

For example, what do you think of when you think about China? It's probably not their government system unless you live there or have been directly impacted by their political choices. You probably think of Chinese food, ancient culture, dances, pretty bridges, the Great Wall, etc. Those are the first things to come to mind, even if you know more about the country.

That's a conscious choice by the Chinese government to fund certain cultural schemes, influencing how people see their country and what they associate with it.

Every country does this. The Nordic countries represent themselves as a clean, peace-loving people; Japan represents itself as a forward-thinking yet traditional society that has massive technological innovation. And those things can certainly be true, but they have also been pushed as the narrative for said country, with more unpleasant things swept under the rug.

Soft power has become much more difficult for countries to manage now in the world of social media, but it still holds an important role, and it certainly would be more powerful in certain eras, particularly before people could instantly get information from anywhere in the world on their phones.

Politics Gone Bad

Political theory is based on rational actors, which does not always reflect reality.

If you've ever wondered why Trump took everyone by surprise, it's because of this idea of rational actors. This is an almost delusionally optimistic belief that every politician or government will do things that are based on pragmatic decision-making.

These decisions may not necessarily be the best ones, but with a rational actor, those decisions will be reasonable and based on a solid thought processs.

The underpinnings of this decision could be self-interest on the part of the leader, national defense, expansionism, public welfare, or staying neutral during a war. But it's a reasonable decision based on the information the leader had at the time.

As such, when an irrational actor joins the system, this assumption goes out the window, and now no one knows what the hell to do anymore. Dangerous and scary.

Alas, I think we're going to see far more irrational actors with the creeping age of politicians, especially in the United States. Someone with dementia is not going to make rational decisions because they can't anymore.

What a government claims to be and what it really is are not always the same thing.

The label slapped onto a given government system does not always reflect how power actually works in the country. This can be due for a variety of reasons:

Rampant (and sometimes government-sanctioned) corruption has overtaken the system

The goverment was set up in such a way that it cannot be easily changed, leading to archaic structures that no longer reflect reality

Migration patterns or demographic changes mean that the government no longer reflects its populace

In an autocracy, an uprising has made the current leader unpopular and though they continue to cling to power, the real political work is done beyond their purview

The government was made to reflect an ideal that is not being played out in the actual system

There are more potential reasons, of course. You have a lot to play around with here.

Corruption is present in all governments; it is the form and prevalence that matters.

Governments are made of people, and people can be shitty. A good government has systems in place to equalize power and prevent bad actors from taking over, but it can never fully eradicate corruption.

Situations outside of government, such as poverty or famine, can also worsen corruption even in systems that have robust anti-corruption safeguards.

The Paradox of Intolerance is a crucial consideration for governments and politicians.

Essentially, the Paradox of Intolerance says that you cannot tolerate intolerance and must do what you can to eliminate it if you want a well-functioning system that benefits all constituents.

As soon as you get lazy, intolerant people will begin to infiltrate and make decisions to the detriment of the populace.

This has gotten hideously long now, so I'll shut myself up because I could go on for several more pages of this palaver. I hope this helped, and if you have any questions, you can ask in the replies to this post and I'll do my best to answer.

I've created a masterlist of writing resources that you can peruse at your leisure, all for free.

The posts I write can sometimes take me hours - they're always intricate, always thoughtful. This one took me about 3 hours to write.

I do this as a labor of love for the writing community, sharing what I have learned from almost 15 years of creative writing.

However, if you'd like to support me, maybe you'll consider buying my book?

At $0.99, that's about 9 cents for each minute you spent reading this post.

9 Years Yearning is a gay coming-of-age romance set in a fantasy world. It follows Uileac Korviridi, a young soldier training at the War Academy. His primary motivations are honoring the memory of his late parents, protecting his little sister Cerie, and becoming a top-notch soldier.

However, there's a problem: Orrinir Relickim, a rough and tough fellow pupil who just can't seem to leave Uileac alone.

The book features poetry, descriptions of a beautiful country inspired by Mongolia, and a whole lot of tsundere vibes.

You can also check it out on Goodreads for a list of expanded distribution. If you loved it, be sure to preorder Pride Before a Fall, arriving January 1, 2025!

If you do purchase my book, don't forget to leave a review!

Reviews are vital for visibility on Amazon and help to support indie authors like me. Whenever you love a book, be sure to let the author know! It's much appreciated.

[autisticsupervillain]

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Stats Equalized!

This Month's Fighters...

Davepetasprite^2 vs Stevonnie!

Conditions:

No other restrictions.

Scenario:

Steven and Connie are going on a date fused together as Stevonnie on the beach when Davepeta crashes down to Earth right in front of them. Stevonnie asks if they've alright as they pull them from the crater, but Davepeta brushes it off, casually explaining that they've been at war with the New Galactic Republic ever since some guy named Horn beat up Sollux and now some Skywalker guy blasted them across time and space. This does not make Stevonnie any less concerned, especially as they don't know what any of that means beyond "war" and "blasted across time and space" but the topic gets side tracked when Davepeta points out that their gemstone belly button looks a lot like "that Universe guy" and asks if they've landed in Gem Territory. Stevonnie explains that they kind of are Steven and the two get into comparing and contrasting how Gems snd Sprites fuse. Davepeta ponders out loud which kind of fusion is stronger and challenges Stevonnie to a sparring match.

"Um, didn't you just say you're in a war?"

"B33 < nah, it's chill. the war's nothing purrsonal, i'm sure skyguy will understand if i hold off on kicking his ass fur a bit."

"Every word out of your mouth makes me more concerned...."

Analysis: Davepetasprite^2

Sprites. The mysterious, aloof guides of the Gods. When mortal beings play the video game SBURB to become the gods of a New Universe, the Sprites are assigned as their guides. In order for a session to be successful, Sprites most be fused with physical objects, be that an inanimate toy, a dead creature, or even a living person so that they might have the sentience to guide their assigned Player through their quest.

Davesprite was one such Sprite. Hailing from a doomed timeline where his best friend John died horribly, Davesprite traveled back to prevent this future, becoming his past self's Sprite in the new timeline.

While this did successfully prevent the death of his friend, Davesprite didn't anticipate how this would effect himself. The versions of his friends in this new timeline weren't the same people he knew in his timeline. John was back, but it wasn't his John. His friends didn't even consider him to be the "real Dave" anymore. They had a Dave. And it wasn't him. The timeline didn't need two Daves anymore. He was just leftovers.

He was just a Sprite. A figment of a dead timeline. What use would he be when the story was over?

Dave would unwittingly get his answer after inadvertently fusing with Nepetasprite. The two were merged and reborn again as something new. Part troll, part human, part crow. Reformed not as a leftover Dave or forgotten Nepeta, but as something entirely themselves.

It helps that they're indisputably the most powerful Sprite in Paradox Space. That's a nice boon.

As a fully Prototyped Sprite, Davepetasprite^2 should have all of the boons inherent to their biology. Sprites can become intangible at will, create light constructs like a green lantern ring, fly, and posses a natural nigh-omniscient understanding of SBURB and its function in the greater multiverse... at least, in so far as it would help their assigned Player. Furthermore, as a fully realized Sprite, Davepeta has very little worry of accidentally fusing with something or someone just by touching them for too long.

It helps that their components are absolute juggernauts in their own right. Any version of Dave or Nepeta could be counted among the most skilled fighters Paradox Space has to offer and Davepetasprite^2 has the combined experiences of both of them. Nepeta was a proud hunter who happily battled the beasts of hellplanet Alternia while Davesprite could go toe to toe against 3x Prototyped Jack Noir, who could slaughter entire armies single handed. Both of these fighters could demolish the armies of Derse, but combined together, they gave even Lord English, the destoyer of all Paradox Space, a good fight.

In many ways, Davepetasprite^2 is the ultimate payoff that both Nepeta and Davesprite could ask for. Two characters made irrelevant, tragically left behind by their closest friends after fulfilling their one purpose, reborn again as something new. Something themselves.

Claw claw, meowtherfuckers.

Analysis: Stevonnie

Fusion. The ultimate form of bond between Gems. The physical embodiment of a relationship between two people, coming together to create something entirely new. Literally.

With Gems, this merging is possible only because their bodies are physically made of hard light. As such, a fusion between and human and a gem is impossible. Or was, until Steven Universe came along. As a half gem, half human, Steven was able to create the first gem human fusion in history. A living statement of his close bond between him and his girlfriend Connie. Something entirely new. Stevonnie.

Naturally, Stevonnie has all of Steven's Gem powers combined with Connie's keen tactical mind, creating a skilled and versatile warrior. A hero that the Crystal Gems could be proud of. They wield Steven's nigh indestructible pink shields, which they can materialize at any time, either portably or around their entire body. They've also been known to wield Rose's Sword, an absolute giant of a sword that was specifically designed to cut through Gems with ease.

On top their weapons, Stevonnie has access to all of Steven's powers, including his limited flight, regeneration, mental projection, healing spit, and even life creation. The end result is a devastatingly versatile foe, likely the most powerful and versatile across the entire universe, as Stevonnie's three-fourths human physiology makes them immune to most gem neutralizing weapons.

Both Steven and Connie have been trained by the Cystal Gems, the thousand year old protectors of Earth, and both have fought against the toughest warriors the galaxy has to offer. As Stevonnie, they were able to defeat Jasper, a perfect quartz gem super soldier, while both of their components have teamed up to save the entire planet from the Homeworld Empire on several occasions.

All together, Stevonnie is the best attributes of both their components, making them arguably the greatest hero in the universe. The perfectly embody the compassion, trust, and hope that their relationship is built on. The perfect representation of both Steven and Connie.

Throwdown Breakdown:

This fight is an interesting one. Both characters share quite a few strengths and weaknesses. While both fusions can be undercut and even destroyed if their components aren't seeing eye to eye, the situation here is pretty unlikely to create that internal conflict and neither one of these fighters would willingly press each other's trauma buttons even if they had the means to.

Both should be pretty even in terms of skill. Both fusions are made up of some of the best fighters their universes can offer, to the point where some of their best feats were considered completely impossible. Connie can fight as an equal with and against centuries old Gem warriors, all while swinging around a sword roughly as big as she is, cutting through cars in a single swing. On the other hand, Nepeta is such a skilled fighter and proud hunter that she's completely unaffected by the hellish nightmares that plague troll kind, as for her, it's just reliving proud memories of the hunt. And so on.

On the one hand, I do think Stevonnie is going to be better coordinated tactically. Steven and Connie have been close friends since childhood, going on constant death defying adventures together while Dave and Nepeta are relative strangers brought together by happenstance. However, I would say Davepeta's skill feats as a whole edge out Stevonnie's. Both characters have fought against ancient empire built on Eons of conquest, but whereas the Homeworld Empire has always been a massive threat, Nepeta and her friends curbstomped roughly 90% of Derse with disappointing ease, minus some roadblocks here or there. So really, it all kinda cancels out skill wise, with one team being better together innately while the other is more skilled in general.

Ultimately, this is decided by powers and abilities. In which case, I'd say Davepeta's arsenal counters Stevonnie's.

Intangibility is a perfect counter against Stevonnie's shields, Davepeta has slightly better flight due to it not being just a form of self gravity manipulation like what Steven does, and Nepeta has innate mental resistances the nullify Steven's telepathic powers.

Remember those dreams I mentioned earlier? It's been very heavily implied that these nightmares are either caused by the horrorterrors, or by the purple bloods keepinh Alternia in line. Either way, that's a massive scale of mind control that Nepeta is simply unaffected by, meaning she should be able to just push Steven out of Davepeta's mind if he tries anything.

While this would by no means be an easy fight, especially with Stevonnie's fast acting regeneration, Davepeta's intagibility is a counter that Stevonnie simply has no real answer too. It would be a hard fought fight... but the Sprite beats the Gem this time.

This Month's Winner is...

Davepetasprite^2!

[grumpybunny-edith]

Furry HRT comics have been something my brain kinda constantly returns to over the last... since people started making them, and so just like anything else I'm really invested in, I feel like I need to analyze them as a phenomenon a little bit.

In some ways, I feel like the most popular formats of these comics are informed by a traditional or uncomplicated view of medical transition. Every character is presented as being able to get an appointment pretty simply, and all live in proximity to their endo. Their initial appointment usually sucks, but characters get what they're looking for and generally don't experience any more roadblocks. The meds people take are always compatible with them, and do not cause any unexpected or adverse side effects.

There's also the assumption in many of these comics that transition has a definite "end". There exists a point where a character is "done", more or less, which isn't accurate to transgender experiences and pushes some of the harmful narrative perpetuated by the medical system. This structure, as well as the fact that furry HRT generally functions more quickly than transgender HRT, is helpful to the format of the stories as short-form narratives, as it helps create a satisfying conclusion.

This is all great for what the format and narratives seem to be trying to convey. Even in amongst the body horror which is common to the narrative, which is in itself useful for exploring how something many view as horrible or uncanny (such as gender transition), they are stories about trans joy. They're about some of the adversity we face, finding happiness among that adversity, and sharing in it with our communities. They're also about finding an authentic self through a medical process that isn't seen in reality, and how regardless of how strange people find something, happiness and self love are what is most important.

But also, when I reflect on these narratives, I sometimes struggle to see myself in them. I'm a person who has spent her entire time medically transitioning dealing with shitty, non-fantastical roadblocks; and it's never the fault of a shitty doctor. Prescriptions take a long time to deliver, insurance doesn't wanna cover it, drugs don't work properly (or sometimes too well, and my doctor starts thinking I have a tumor in my brain), that kind of stuff.

And part of why this bums me out is that there's still so much joy there. It takes more work to love oneself when you spend a month or two off for every three months on, but it's a beautiful thing when you do. There's a whole side of the community engaging with things like DIY HRT, helping and looking after one another even when the medical system won't. There's also people microdosing HRT, either because they're unsure how they feel about it, or there's something in the "in-between" that feels right for them.

Of course artists should put to the page the stories that they want to tell. This post honestly was helping me do the same thing by orienting my thoughts. I'm just yearning for stories that feel a little bit closer to the life I've lived and noticing trends that feel reminiscent of the ways the system hurts us. I love and appreciate every single one of these stories and I hope people don't stop making them - there's so much uniquely trans joy to be had in them. I guarantee this isn't the last of what I have to say about the topic; there's too much here worth celebrating and reading closer.

[staggersz]

Loss of vision huh. Oh the angst potential, I can feel it. He's trying to be the nice guy everyone knows he was before, but with the frustration of having to learn to live with just one working eye I can see him lashing out more easily and startling his family. And I bet he doesn't even have baseball to use for venting out anymore. Again, the angst potential is just delicious.

By the way, do any of the other boys also get some kind of permanent injury?

I swear I love getting your questions in my inbox because it means I get to go into detail 😋

Bruce also has gotten major head injuries, so he suffers from Post Traumatic Amnesia. One of those effects is being distant or lashing out, while other times he’s clingy and is emotional.

He absolutely hates going back to school because he can feel people staring at him like he’s a science experiment through a looking glass. He thinks he looks creepy and weird with his scar.

He feels bad about lashing out at his family. He says sorry, and is just embarrassed about getting mad.

Bruce played baseball for a bit when the season rolled around, and he was exceptionally good at it again. But when his coach told him he was gonna let him go, Bruce just quit on his own. He felt humiliated.

Speaking of life long injuries, there’s a bit ! TW for graphic depictions I guess if you wanna stop here!

Griffin can no longer speak. He has a nasty scar across his neck, and it was so deep it cut his vocal chords and trachea entirely (surprisingly there are ways to survive this 😭)

Billy has a deep cut on his cheek, and on the side of the neck, though those don’t effect him that much. He has trouble walking sometimes from all the wounds he had gained on his back in it’s entirety. He had to wear a back brace for a bit when he left the hospital. He also has a cut just above his heart, which luckily healed.

Vance has a huge cut across the bridge of his nose. He had his nose broken exactly one year apart in this basement, which causes swelling and bruising, difficulty breathing, and nasal obstruction. He went way longer than 14 days without treatment ! He also has nasty burns on his forearms from when his arms were forced on to a stove. That was one of the only times he cried. Vance also has a huge gash across his stomach. That hurt really bad for him, but the shock kind of numbed it. He just found it unbelievable.

Besides all the scars on Robin’s arms and legs and what not, he has a few stab wound marks on his chest. He got them right before they all escaped, so he was able to get to a hospital. He also had one of his teeth forcefully pulled out by The Grabber. Robin isn’t a fan of smiling after that, but he’ll still grin occasionally. Overall, Robin is just horribly insecure of his scars. He hates literally every single one.

Just like the movie, in the fic, Finney had a failed escape attempt. When he was brought back to the house, he tried to fight back, but ended up gaining a pretty awful scar on his shoulder and two less deep cuts the sides of his arms, just like all the others had.

I hope I’m not forgetting anything because that’s all the lifelong or most damaging injuries I can think of for each one!

[papakhan]

Hey I was wondering, do you hate Boone due to his writing or his character? What I mean is do you hate the quality of the writing for Boone or do you like the writing and think it contributes to your read of the character? I guess what I'm asking is if you think Boone is poorly written. Sorry if this is rude in any way! I don't like Boone either I just wanted clarification

in all honesty it's a mixture. i've said so many times I even tho I think Boone is a terrible person, I do actually think he's is a really interesting character who you can do a lot with but that doesn't take away from the fact that there's a lot of poor writing choices involved with him. also I think his stans/people who genuinely believe any of his choices were remotely justified are ANNOYING

you asked about the writing so that's what I'll talk about. Boone's backstory is effectively "poor soldier forced to murder innocents and feels sooo bad about it" which is a bad premise anyway but is executed very poorly IMO. First of all, the Bitter Springs Massacre in its entirety feels like a set dressing to this NPC's tragic backstory because it is just SO badly written. The game wants the NCR to look morally good/neutral SO bad that it's willing to make Bitter Springs look "justified" or "accidental" and I'm not even sure if it happened on purpose. There's like so much wrong with it I don't think I can even explain everything and it's not even just me whining because I'm a fan of the Khans (tho it is some of that) like it's just badly written

This affects Boone's writing because it's a huge part of his backstory but the game never challenges you or tries to make you feel for the Khans in the situation. All those dozens of Khan children and elderly and sick he murdered, you don't get a single name or living relative you can talk to or ANYTHING compared to what you get for the NCR's side of the story like Dhatri and Bitter Root and Gilles and Manny. All you get for the Khans is Oscar Velasco who, by the way, if you visit while Boone is your companion, Boone will execute immediately. so like? you can't even watch a heated exchange between two snipers on opposing sides? Can you imagine how much more interesting and empathetic and grey the situation could have been if you had to convince Oscar and Boone not to kill each other? but no! Oscar is marked as EVIL!!! HE HAS TO DIE!!1!!

every bad thing to NCR did at bitter springs has a shitty silver lining that makes it "justified" like "the person on the other end of the radio didn't understand that there were children fleeing" or "we gave them medical aid! and allowed them to settle at red rock!" or "all the Khans are actually shitty and abusive! I'm a Khan and I'm happy they're all dead!" or "it's hard not to shoot your own guys in the heat of battle" and all of this is why WHY I think so many Redditors fully believe that the Khans deserved because even Manny and Bitter Root say they think it was justified!

all of that really takes the bite out of "Craig Boone did a horrible terrible thing" because the game Lets you. no actually Encourages you to make the argument that what he did was okay. At no point are you allowed to call him out or call him a shitty person or force him to face Khan justice all you can do is tell him "actually what you did was justified" or "there there boone its okay we'll work through it <3" and I'm sorry but those are just. weak choices. especially in comparison to how rich other choices in the game are. yes I know all the companion quests come down to two very cut and dry black and white options at the end but cmon VULPES is offered more depth then this. And also Cass and Arcade can be handed over to their enemy factions why can't I do the same with Boone???

So not only does Craig have a fridged wife (I know people Love to say that Carla's not an underwritten fridged woman but tell me one thing about her other than she was mean and pregnant. one thing.) but he also has piles of unwritten dead civilians in his backstory too and they're all just kinda there and the only thing the story tries to tell you about them is "maybe they did deserve it" and I think that sucks. Carla is her own special problem in the writing by virtue of being a fridged wife because she was invented and murdered just to punish Boone, which still doesn't work if Boone thinks it's divine punishment that he decided to pull the trigger on his wifes head.

TLDR: You're meant to feel bad for Boone, not any of his victims. Not any of the Khan children he killed, not even Carla is afforded any empathy. The game wants you to feel sad about Boone and that's it. that's why I don't like his writing.

[beardedmrbean]

The thing about the Israel-Palestine conflict is that, to be absolutely blunt, the PM of Israel is a horrible person, who does not care about the Palestinian people at all. And everyone would be justified in wanting him removed and to force Israel to be more humane. The only problem is that at the same time, the leaders of the Palestinian people are absolutely monstrous antisemites who gleefully throw their own people into the line of fire, and encourage civilians to murder jews as often as possible, with actual fucking financial incentives to do so.

And so we're left with a LITERAL lesser of two evils situation, between someone who wouldn't care if the other side died to a man, and people who actively WANT to murder the other side, and everyone else of the same ethnic group. And who indoctrinate their children to think the same way.

There is no 'win' here, just trying to find the least of all possible bad situations.

Bibi can be voted out and briefly was only ways to get hamass's leadership out is arrange for them to die somehow or capture them and bury them in a box in the middle of nowhere imprisoned with no contact with the outside world until they die, effectively the same thing as killing them outright.

The bit about if the people fighting for the pally cause put down their weapons there would be no war but if the people fighting for Israel did the same there would be no Israel isn't entirely correct not even going into semantics like the geographic region still having that name not entirely correct.

There's the kahanists in Israel, those'd be the Jewish folks that are in favor of terrorism, ethnic cleansing, and/or apartheid.

Only got 3 major actions to their name, this being the most recent'

and if history is any indicator there will still be groups of arabs and other Muslims that just detest the idea of Jews existing, not just the Muslims though.

It's a very long list and there's not really much of anywhere that's innocent, at least any place that had a Jewish population.

But the rank and file aka overwhelming majority of the population of Israel would be very happy if they never had to use a safe room again, and I think the folks in the west bank, gaza, the communities on the border in Lebanon and Jordan would be glad that they also don't have to duck and cover because the powers that be in that particular region decided it was time to fire some rockets at Israel again.

As for the 'wanting Israel to be more humane' I'm not sure what you're getting at there, from a military standpoint they generally go above and beyond what is called for by international law in order to safeguard the lives of civilians, issuing a 30 min to hour warning before turning a building into dust because hamass is using it as a military instillation isn't something they need to do.

As amnesty international has said in regards to Ukraine

Waiting to see them backtrack on this one. I wish there was a way to get the innocents out of harms way, but hamass loves themselves some human shields and doesn't give a shit about the regular citizens of gaza as anything other than PR fodder.

I wish there was a easier way, or even a way, but when one side refuses every single offer of peace and has for 75 years it's not looking good.

As a aside, this particular war was started to keep Saudi Arabia and a few other MENA countries from normalizing ties with Israel, for trade at least, that was the purpose of the Abraham Accords, they were a start that didn't include the question of is Israel a legitimate nation according to your countries government.

Casualty heavy PR move to sway public opinion.

It's funny the Sunni and Shia and other different Muslim sects line up to kill each other on a monthly basis, unless there's someone else they hate more in the vicinity.

I say that because I can't remember who it was some fairly important Jewish person from Israel, said something similar to 'if you want to destroy Israel, leave it in peace and it'll destroy itself'

Divisions among the various groups there, you saw the protests that were going on about the different "reforms" and what not, that's all over now because all corners of the community have the same enemy don't have to fight each other just yet.

It's a rock and a hard place here, but if they can get it all finished and then get bibi out the hard place will soften significantly I think. __________

This was really long, I keep doing that. hopefully it makes sense and I managed to touch on what you were looking for.

I hate all this and I want it to stop, I hate fighting and I hate war, and I hate senseless killing.

[nyxknocks]

So, Rashomon was not whatever I expected it to be. Though, I don't really know what my expectations were in the first place...

This style of story telling is always fun for me. It's very Clue-esque in the way you get everyone's side of the story and how it always favors themselves to look the best or the one with less blood on their hands. The characters are... interesting. I don't think a single one of them is good, but again that's the whole point, isn't it?

The line about how the demons there fled because of the ferocity of man pretty much tells you what this story is about. Humans at this point are all selfish, acting towards their own gains and for their own wants with little care for others (the assault, for one). Everyone makes a point to center themselves in the tragedy, that while yes this man did die, they are also a victim (and I mean yes she is there is absolutely no doubt of that) of other circumstances.

It feels like a nod to what we discussed about the shifting of blame. They are culpable to some extent to what happens (the assault, a murder, what have you) but it's not their fault, they were forced to. Just like how the government forced their hands during the war. But I hate linking everything around this time period and also from Japan as related to the war, because it feels reductive and small minded. But in the 50s its hard not to think of the impact the war hand, especially since Kurosawa had to deal with everything during the occupation.

Tajomaru had to assault her because she was beautiful, and then in his account he had to fight the samurai, he didn't want to kill him.

In the wife's account, she fainted after the samurai is freed, thus absolving her for whatever befell him, but she made a point to mention that even if she did kill him in her black out state (which she does not admit to) it was because he looked upon her so horribly after the assault. (Very Chicago).

The samurai's account is the most confusing, because it's told through a secondary source and also he is the one who died, so.

The woodcutter lied at the inquest or whatever because he didn't want to admit he saw the whole thing happen. Likely because he didn't want to get caught up in the blame game and also to hide the fact he stole from them. Again, selfish.

The ending can seem hopeful, with the priest saying the woodcutter restored his faith in humanity or whatever, and maybe I'm just jaded but if he lied once he can lie again. How do you know for sure he has 6 kids at home? You have no proof! You just gave this random dude you met in this husk of a building a baby you just found! Obviously it's meant to be taken well, because the literal imagery of the rain and clouds moving/stopping to let the sun in is like a ray of hope being cast on the people/story being shown. A bit of proof that humans aren't all inherently selfish and self-serving. Mildly hopeful, I guess?

I never realized the Rashomon effect was named after this and that's embarrassing. Like I said, it's one of my favorite styles of story telling because you can see things from so many different angles and still end up wondering just who is telling the truth. It really allows you to strap in and focus on the story because you become invested, trying to untie the narratives while also having your own thoughts/opinions reshaping it to fit your own narrative. It's really sneaky how it happens and its satisfying every time, because you never know, not really.

Also. Best part of the movie.

I also like how you can see the slide cut or whatever it was called. So Star Wars. The whole beginning gave me Twilight Zone deja vu. Genuinely love that aspect.

[desnoot]

BNHA 373 spoiler/discussion

I'm kind of shocked by the way the fandom has reacted to Mic's decision in the last chapter because I think it is VERY in character for him to do that.

For starters the BNHA manga only shows the long term effects the death of Shirakumo had on them pre reveal: -They are close. -Aizawa tries to make sure a situation like Shirakumo's death doesn't repeat itself (teaching the kids to protect themselves, sacrificing himself for the greater good or for younger people, etc.), doesn't talk about what happened and keeps a a cautious distance from everyone. -Mic on the other hand acts as his hero persona most of the time, is overprotective in regards to Aizawa and low-key has rage issues he projects by punching or screaming loudly at villains.

The short term effects are shown in the Vigilantes flashback about their past: -Mic resorts to his persona and starts acting happy and positive, doesn't deal with his own feelings and tries to keep his relationship with Aizawa as it was (keep him close and happy), which is difficult because -Aizawa tries to shove every positive relationship in his life away from him to not get hurt again and deals with trauma by training, hurting himself in the process in order to become stronger (which Mic witnesses), refuses to do group activities and LITERALLY RUNS AWAY FROM EVERYONE THE DAY HE GRADUATES while using his quirk on Mic, making him loose his voice so he can't call after him.

Later they become close again somehow but after temporarily loosing both his best friends in the span of year and a half this man definitely has abandonment issues.

And now we get to the BNHA timeline and think from Mic's perspective. What he knows the League of Villains and Kurogiri are responsible for pre reveal:

Aizawa being hospitalized with a shattered skull, possible damage to his eyes and quirk, and two broken arms.

Almost kidnapping Midoriya during the internships and threatening his students during a trip to the mall.

Attaking the camp, causing several injured and two people kidnapped.

Aizawa having to publicly apologize for not protecting the kids well enough and putting them in danger.

The Symbol of Peace having to retire.

Aizawa getting 9 stitches and almost murdered.

Then Kurogiri is captured and the reveal happens.

They tell Mic one of the heads of the League of Villains, responsible for all that, is Shirakumo. And he can't believe it but he does. And Aizawa is hurt again and reliving all their shared trauma. And Mic is hurting, mad, frustrated and worried for Aizawa cause what else is he supposed to be doing?

And then they capture the doctor and stop Shigaraki and it should all be over but something goes horribly wrong during the mission. And Kayama dies and Aizawa looses a leg, an eye and the ability to use his quirk.

And as much as they try Shirakumo still doesn't come back and doesn't react to them.

They plan the final battle and know that if they can't win it's over. And one of the ways the battle can go terribly wrong is if Kurogiri wakes up and is on the Villain's side.

Aizawa, Mic's single remaining best friend is fighting Shigaraki at the moment. If Kurogiri wakes up he is going there and Aizawa gets hurt again, or worse.

Mic wants to save Shirakumo, of couse he does. That's why he shouts his name one last time. To see if he can try and reach him.

But he also understands the bigger picture. Understans that if Shirakumo wakes up and sides with the Villains, the battle could be over and that Aizawa will get hurt again. So yes, he would prefer him not coming back at all if it means he could loose Aizawa. If it means being left alone again.

It's not the right heroic choice of trying to safe everyone including the villains, but it's definitely the one Mic would take after all that.

[beskad]

.

So it turns out the chronic fatigue that has been destroying my life for the last 8 years...... May have been largely due to the wave after wave of antidepressants that doctors kept putting me on. I have severe depressive episodes when something triggers my PTSD and usually experience dissociative episodes. (Thanks dad!!!!!!) And I expect I always will struggle with this because that's just an unfortunate fact of having been raised brainwashed and under constant threats of violence for 23 years.

BUT

I've told every doctor I've seen since 2016 about my side effects every single time. The exhaustion, the inability to do basic self care tasks like showering. They said you're just depressed. They tried antidepressant number 3 then 4 and then a 5th and 6th and 7th, even when I begged to not try another one, and even though one of them (Prozac) was documented as having made me suicidal basically overnight (3 days after starting, 2021) and I ended up in the ER when trying to (safely!! under supervision!!) discontinue Cymbalta about a year ago

I know these medications work for a lot of people. A have a friend with bipolar 1 and he hasn't had a full blown manic episode since starting lamictal over a year ago. It works for him. I'm not saying omg antidepressants are poisonous blah blah evil pharma blah blah

But I've never felt like my meds (other than trazodone for sleep) helped me and they made me so tired and gave me nerve pain and gastrointestinal issues and I'd become SO dysregulated if I took a dose even a few hours too late and I begged and begged and begged for someone to listen because I couldn't do anything I couldn't cook or shower or sleep

It was horrible, I was so exhausted and short of breath that I couldn't even stand long enough to do dishes.

I have been living with such a bone deep exhaustion that it didn't matter if the antidepressants helped with other things. I have been so EXHAUSTED and there has been no relief and that in itself has been making me want to die for over 5 years

I've been off of all of them for a little over 3 weeks now. And I don't feel like great fantastic amazing top of the world!!!!! But I do feel stable. I'm not so exhausted that it's hard to sit upright or breathe. I'm able to do things that I haven't been able to for so long. I cook basic meals every other day after work!!! I have the energy to do it. I take my trash out. I can empty the litterbox.

It's basic stuff!!! but!!! I haven't been able to take care of myself for a very long time

It doesn't feel like I have a 50 lb weight on my chest, suffocating me. My heart palpitations and shortness of breath are gone

I'm gonna fucking sue someone. I told a DOZEN DIFFERENT DOCTORS for EIGHT YEARS that I was suffering and they just threw another medication at it. It was the antidepressants all along. I'm so mad.