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sunflowersolace · 2 years ago

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my mom wants to medicate me at all costs

#for context #she has had me on adhd medications since i was in first grade #every single one of them has had horrible side effects #she said one of them made it where i didn’t smile for a month #and after years of this #instead of thinking maybe my child doesn’t need meds #she just kept going!!!#and eventually she found one she liked #and it gave me an eating disorder but nobody cared because i’ve always been skinny so obviously it’s natural for me to not eat much #(it’s not natural. i was gourging myself in the middle of the night when the meds wore off.)#and i genuinely had no emotions or personality but thats fine bc 13 year olds are shy and they pull away from their parents #and every time i said ‘hey mom and psychiatrist i don’t like the meds’ they’d fucking ramp them up #to the point that i was on a dosage that does not exist. i was taking multiple pills. because i was the only person on that dose.#i was fifteen.#and now i’m an adult and i NEVER take adhd medication for obvious fucking reasons #but any time anything negative happens with my emotions #like i’ll be like ‘ugh im frustrated at this video game’#my mom is like MAYBE YOU NEED TO BE ON 115 MG OF CONCERTA AGAIN. THAT WOULD FIX YOU.#i have the absolute lowest dose of vyvanse and i only take it when i ABSOLUTELY am sure i need to focus #and my mom wants me to take it to do shit like go to the arcade #she genuinely once said she likes me more when im medicated #so no #the red dye thing isn’t a genuine suggestion #it’s an attack on me. because she wants her freak kid to be normal so badly she’s willing to ruin its life.

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vynnyal · 11 months ago

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Now that's one cool-looking dog

#rain world #rw pup #rw hunter #rw moon #This is Zoey and she loves to kill #We tried to change from zoura to something more slugcat-like but it just fits so well #We've been exploring some modded regions and boy howdy. They are big #Hopefully we'll find her a sibling eventually. Tho considering just how many shelters there are in each region #And the dubious % chance one even spawns #It's shocking we found one at all

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girlivealwaysbean · 4 months ago

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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

#like how do i even feel #on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things #ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym #plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi #and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food #which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol #like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes #so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die #i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me #also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study #and i want to now it's high time #but yeah want doesn't really work for me #i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals #and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks #but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us #which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective #anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed #but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms #and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops #i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty #much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream #but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life #lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month #i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them #i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into #depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it #my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom #is around warna mostly he's fine #i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls #mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏

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afkintheark · 12 days ago

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I love baby snow owls, they're so scraggly-looking. XD

Babies are raised, I have our two breeding already and my new improved Druid is in a ball to stockpile levels overnight. Took him on a little test flight first and the extra speed is very nice. \o/

I tamed an argy on Volcano couple days ago so tonight I decided to find a base spot, and I think I've made my choice! It's right above the water there so I can have a water pen whenever I need it. Only problem really is it's on the opposite side of the map from the volcano/wyvern trench.

Still exploring too, I've found several spots that I remember from ASE. I am enjoying the nostalgia. XD

#ark survival ascended #ark aras cluster #got a couple extra carchar eggs because we need more males #and i hatched them tonight too and got triplets out of one \o/#so we have our official breeding pair plus a couple more boys #will raise them eventually but they'll take forever so i'm waiting til i feel like playing all day >.>#ark volcano #got my argy from the volcano island and found a 150 mountain gryphon too #didn't have the tranqs for her but if she lives long enough i'm going back for her soon #tamed all my gatherers already though i need to go farm clay for my thorny saddles #so base-building should be easy \o/#gonna copy my reverence house and make a nice big dino pen alongside

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 months ago

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Rewatching again, and…

… There's no denying that 'Eliot, Parker, and Hardison' are a 'trio' w/in the team, but I'm also subject to an ongoingly increasing appreciation for the 'Nate, Sophie, and Eliot' trio.

#Leverage #I've ranted about this so much #but to me Nate and Eliot are very familial and Eliot is very much Nate's surrogate son #and he's very much a confidant to the 'parents'#I find their relationships and development very interesting #in a way it almost feels like an adult son getting to know a new step mom and finally warming to her if that makes sense?#Nate and Eliot settle in very quickly and subtly #while Sophie and Eliot take some time getting used to each other and their development is more on the forefront #bc Sophie is a verbal person she discusses and listens and learns #she's outward #Nate and Eliot can communicate silently and Nate and Sophie already had a Thing #but Eliot and Sophie clash a bit and I think it's particularly meaningful in moments where he makes the effort to communicate to her #Eliot is often seen congressing w/ the two of them w/ a vibe that's just Different than Hardison and Parker?#and I love it #I love how well the different familial dynamics are displayed in such an unconventional way in this show #it's a unique look at a found family that reflects a nuclear one very much #none of them mean any LESS to each other than the others but their relationships are all different #and I just really love the unsaid detail in Eliot's relationships w/ Nate and Sophie #he's definitely the left arm of the crew in particular Nate's #and he develops w/ and eventually accepts Sophie #Leverage is an incredible study in characterisation and development honestly #Things You Didn't Know Fire was Into

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moonstruckdraws · 10 months ago

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Moon Ref Sheet

new sona yaaay My hairstyle changed so I'm using my old one & glasses

Still adjusting the colors of the main one, idk how to feel about it yet. This version of my sona was also going to have floating hands (might still do it?) like Rayman style lol, but hey! part of my horn is back :]

My sona has a lil star on their back now; Helli gave me a star a while back and I added it :]

#moonsona #definitely gonna mess with the coloring of the first one #not satisfied with it #Im also no longer sick :]#Thanks Clem (I *suppose*)#let's just say she found the piece of my horn and it made me feel better #i like the floating hand idea #imma do that- eventually-#moon saga #<- technically not really-but-adding-it-anyway #april 2024

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cranberrymoons · 7 months ago

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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but #today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh #I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so #anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik #“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was #just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao #I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because #AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him #he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where #I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote #like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow #(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway #but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay #one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half #I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE #I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP

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tamymew · 7 months ago

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here i am, back again, with random ass sketches that may or may not be older than a month (and draco and aela, ofc)

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grichel · 5 months ago

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was gonna not drink at this wedding but i went to drop wipes off at my grandparents hotel room and my grandma offered me a vodka ginger ale so failed step one

#god they’re such a hoot and eventually i was no no i have to go back to my parents room and check on them #and of course my stepdad is being the worst rn #like literally get over yourself #fall into a ditch and die #also i found out my dad isn’t coming because he and my stepmom have covid badly #which…… no one told me!!!#literally how does no one tell me anything.#my moms parents knew. she and my dad have been divorced for over 20 years cmon

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pensymbols · 1 year ago

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if u believe that jason grace is lame gtfo this is NOT safe space for you

#everytime someone claims hes a boring character and a blank canvas i losd up a gun and #like jason ISNT a boring character hes actually incredibly interesting #but rick riordian fucking hates his guts and refuses to give him anythin #like genuinely #like first of all jason getting his memory wiped but hes never able to regain them???#so despite people knowing WHO he was and him having the general feeling of knowing who he is he genuienly cannot remember shit #and those memory problems persist all the way up throughout toa #second of all his general past??#like the grace siblings had such good backstories in the sense they were intriguing and actually defined everything and every choice they #-make #like jason who was proclaimed as heras/junos since he was born stolen from thalia who was raising him and she cant wver find him again and #-so she assumes shes dead and being reluctant to take in annabeth whos supposed to be around her baby brothers age #that shits peak #and then theres jason who was raised by wolves and then eventually found his way to new rome where he was only ever seen as jupiters son or #junos champion and he was only ever going to be the praetor and no one there truly saw jason for who he is #like thats PEAK #AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE JASON VS PERCY THING BCS A) I THINK ITS DUMB AND B) ITS STUPID #also rick DOES hate jason grace bcz they killed his character long before toa when thwy tried to make jason more like zeus so the rivalry-#-could make more sense #pjo #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #jason grace #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #trials of apollo

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averlym · 2 years ago

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pleaaase may i have 28 and 29 aramour angst ✨ i crave it

28: “Move out of my way before I make you.” // 29: “You deserve better.” (prompt list here)

click for better quality!

#the brainrot!!! so strong. anyways. to confront the woman dating your ex when there's super high tension....#anyway!!! highschool(?) modern au where the popular girl/ queen bee is whoever resident king henry is dating.. hm..#oh the tension between someone who used to serve you. now having taken your place. and you knowing the ins and out of that position..#especially that it's not all it's cooked up to be!! lots of thoughts about this au #art-wise i drew these as storyboards before i realised i cant video format well without audio so they're just here in storyboard form #i drew these in sketchy drafts and then in sketchbook then spent 2h lining them digitally bc the scans were yikes. anyways. i lost a frame #somewhere and it was before the “you deserve better” and it was like. “take it from someone who knows #fun fact!! i showed this to multiple irl friends without dialogue as i was drawing it. neither of them know the characters but.#immediately pinpointed exes vibes. and enemies to lovers. and basically homoerotic arguing tension.#remarkably pleased at how that was conveyed (and also amused. i love my friends). anyway if i were to do this again? then i'd draw in the #frames instead of re-doing the sizing after tracing. yikes that was an experience.#anyway!! (x3) anon i hope you enjoy the aramour angst. i hope it has something. i craved it a lot as i was drawing this #six the musical #six the musical fanart #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #also the characterisation was lowkey based off how mean girl seymour is absolutely a thing in the show. some of her lines. savage.#parallels!!! in show the "oh boohoo [..] i DIED'' and attacking aragon.. the rivalry here.. aaaagh #also!! the last line is a slightly paraphrased letter from aragon to her father(?) i think. found it online while looking for how she wrot #because i wanted her to sound more queenly... you also see it in how she's unbothered and rather unimpressed throughout seymour's posturing #the confidence in herself. meanwhile jane is defensive and a bit more prone to being flustered <parallels emotion in show script>#i'm just. very proud of these drawings together. narrative can be so very nice. the last two frames are kinda like a postscript.#sometimes the brainrot really gets you!! alright have a nice day.. comms are open and the fact that no one is taking them up rn feels a bit #sobering. but it's okay! i'm not in a rush.. it's more for the experience. hm. i wonder who wrote yes in the poll though #(can you. tell my ego is a little bruised?) nvm onwards!! eventually i'll get good enough to actually sell my stuff :OOO #oh an addendum: lowkey inspired by all the bathroom girl-on-girl confrontation scenes. one off the top of my head is the one from heathers #but there's quite a lot of those tbh

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cuteniaarts · 7 months ago

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Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #original character #I need to figure out a way to tag these guys #like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works #but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie #maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out #if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down #after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain #and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me #but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise #convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl #(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life #and that is the first step to self acceptance #I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there #and he looks like his brother the most in it #but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often #and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals #but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend #animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3 #I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away #probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest #I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over #it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs #okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!

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darlinimamess · 10 months ago

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hey tumblrinas let me tell you about my current grievances in the tags <3

#miles thots #my ‘best friend’ stopped talking to me a few months ago and i kept trying to hang out with her for a while but eventually i gave i #*up bc it felt very one sided #and like. i told her a while ago that i was feeling very left out bc she’d been hanging out with a few other people and not me at all for #months #and she told me she wanted to hang out with ‘adult friends’ and that i was her ‘autistic bestie’ which like. i was almost 20 at the time #and more recently she still calls me her best friend but we haven’t hung out or even talked #and i found out earlier this week that her baby shower is tomorrow and i’m not invited #and i’m Really Hurt #and i keep wondering if i did something wrong or if she’s mad at me or something #and i want to talk to her about it but every time someone brings up something serious with her she goes #‘i cant do this right now i’m pregnant’#so. anyways.

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simptasia · 11 months ago

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i give charlotte secret insecurity because as a LOST character, she woulda had self loathing if they bothered to develop her more

#everybody in lost has self loathing. every single one #lost headcanons #i base char's on the idea that she's had a string of bad relationships #with people who found her to be Too Much (too loud too bossy can't be controlled etc)#so deep down she thinks she's too much of a handful. and that people she's with will eventually get sick of her #her relationship with daniel subverts this massively. because he loves her. he loves everything about her #hey lost didn't put much into char so i do it instead #is she an oc wearing bex mader's skin? yeah. but like. who fucking cares #i love... the version of her in my head

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rustycottoncandy · 8 months ago

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I somehow made it through the school day running on one hour of sleep

#I went to sleep at 5am yesterday #not by decision though - or not fully at least #i was feeling very shitty so I tried drawing to calm myself down but it didn't work and I ended jp just getting worse #Nobody at home was awake ans I couldn't talk to any of my vontacts because again they were all asleep #and I really needed to talk to somebody so I ended up reaching to a Mental Health helpline #I thought of reaching out to a suicide prevention hotline at first but I didn't because I wasn't going to #nor thinking of #commiting suicide.#I didn want to do something pretty bad which I was trying to distract myself from doing but not kill myself #eventually I found a general mentak health helpline and texted a woman through there at early 3am/very late 2am #we talked for two hours. she was really nice and helped me calm down and gave me advice on what to do if that happened again #it was 5am when we stopped talking and I had to wake up at 6am so I didn't sleep much #I really appreciate whst she did she helped me a lot - she also offered to call my parents but I said no because I didn't want to worry them #and she understood she was really nice people behind these kinds of things are like wingless angels #I've been able to take short naps between classes and a considerably long one after an exam but I dtarted the day on 1 hour of sleep #AND SURVIVED IT yippee #my stuff #vent

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catboy-jupiter · 14 days ago

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my spiderkon au has spiraled out of control i might not even start matching characters anymore what is this shit i do not know enough marvel to deal with all this..... i do not know enough dc to deal with this......... i'm just going with the vibes atp

#wdym if i want to write about a whole other character i have to find out more stuff about who i chose they'd be in the marvel au????#spiderman is literally the one i know most about and i do NOT know him that well im literally the least qualified person to write my own au #gods help us all but im persisting on this idea #do you think bernard or steph suits gwenpool better....#the other one would be gwen. or spider-gwen. yes im aware the gwens r not related to e/o. trust the process #the plan is to have endgame timberkon. eventually.#the plan WAS for bernard to be like mj or gwen but then i thought abt him being gwenpool bc comic book reader & conspiracy theorist & yeah.#my mind made some connection ok dont ask me to explain theyre just. the same vibes. i like the idea but like #we already get so little aroace rep... idk if i want to write the gwenpool equivalent into the main ship......#(for the record im ace & arospec so shes very precious to me [knows almost nothing abt her bc im not actually a comics guy])#aughhh choices choices.... tormented by choices no one is forcing me to make but i need to make if i wanna keep writing this au. which i do #also i will not be actually mentioning any of my other choices. but they certainly were choices. like #the 1st one was a no-brainer. i think the 2nd only makes sense bc i want them to date. and the 3rd came along bc i found a new character #the 3rd is not dating the first 2 btw they just like. work together in a marvel comic & it fit the character so i just went yknow what sure #my 1st idea for the 2nd one was Out There & the 2nd idea was Solely bc i wanted him to date the 1st one so... this might be a step up?

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