#even though its supposed to be an adult show

[arttsuka]

Alastor would kiss him and he would fucking die.

Slight tw/cw for a heart (basically I edited a 'real' heart I found online because I couldn't draw it). It's not that bad I promise, but just in case I'm putting it under the cut.

[the-busy-ghost]

Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.

Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).

Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:

Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

[foolinafable]

squeeze you in

SYNOPSIS: Viktor barely has the time, but he makes it for you PAIRING: Viktor x reader WORDCOUNT: 5.2K TAGS: S1 Arcane, set around Act 1 and before Act 2, 5 year age gap, assuming arcane uses weekdays and seasons. Fem pronouns towards the end NOTES: spent all weekend writing this, hope you all enjoy. try not to mind any editing errors

This was decidedly a bad idea. Wandering the halls of the academy at night wasn’t dangerous, even with the recent attack from the undercity, that's if you could even really call it an attack. To you, it seems to be children getting involved in things they shouldn’t. You could remember them now, the swirls of brown, red and blue running along the roofs of Piltover after the explosion in the apartments of the academy. While many around you felt fear, all you saw were children. Sure, they looked only a few years your junior, but even Heimerdinger tells you that you are only on the cusp of adulthood, still shadowed by childish tendencies. You suppose that he is correct; twenty is only one year off nineteen, and that age is considered a teenager despite its adult allowances. 

You take a deep breath as your hand curls around the handle to Heimerdinger's office, unsure as to why you feel so nervous. It’s not as if you're stealing anything but rather retrieving it. You had foolishly left behind your notebook during your meeting with him when it had been interrupted by the council having an impromptu meeting, something you are sure had something to do with Talis. You needed it for a meeting the next morning with another professor about your dissertation, your last piece of work as a student at the academy, and you couldn't go to the meeting without it. Least you look unprepared, surely your job offer as a researcher for the academy could be rescinded if you didn’t appear completely committed.

So, despite your better judgement, your anxiety outweighed it as usual as you slowly opened the door to the dean, your mentor's room. You crept inside, even though nobody was around, afraid even the slightest noise could get you caught snooping after hours. Quickly, you found your notebook on the chair. You had left it opposite Heimerdinger's desk; he preferred it when you told him of your research and studies without the aid of your writings, so you had placed it next to your body on the chair. You picked it up, signing in relief that this was as easy as you hoped, when another notebook caught your attention, one that certainly wasn't on the desk when you left. Curiousity about getting the better of you as you reach for it, opening it to the first page, eyes widening at the text ‘If found, please return to Jayce Talis'. Your mind quickly remembered an interaction you had overheard in this very office earlier that day.

You were walking the path towards Heimerdinger's office, only this time it was daytime, the sun was out despite the slight winter chill warming anyone in its path. You slowed as you got towards your mentor's office, frowning at the sound of voices coming from inside. Did you get the time wrong? You wondered, looking down at your watch, showing that you were, in fact, on time. Your hands are sweaty now, anxiety crawling at the idea of interrupting, deciding to stay outside for a few moments to calm down.

“Why can’t I read it?” An exacerbated voice rang out, his accent making your face feel hot

“That Talis’ work was dangerous; the explosions in the city were proof of that; you don’t need to be involved, Viktor”, Heimerdinger's voice rang out, proud as always

“I hardly see how simply reading what he was working on is such a bad thing. I thought the greatest scientific ventures were the ones that bent the rules of the institution.” The man Viktor, you assume, tries to manoeuvre the conversation to his favour, but Heimerdinger is seemingly having none of it. Moving closer to where you are by the door as if to get the boy out of his office, you quickly knock on the door, worried that he would open the door and see you eavesdropping. Both voices stop at the sound of the knock, and Heimerdinger quickly opens the door. You awkwardly smile at the dean, eyes rising to meet the amber ones of the other body occupying the room.

“Can I come back later?” You twiddle your fingers, nervousness wracking your body at interrupting whatever this is

“No, no, come in”, Heimerdinger exclaims, pulling you by the hand into his office, yelping at the sudden contact as he continues to speak. “We were done here anyways”, his eyes solely on Viktor, who seemed to have mellowed out your presence, quickly giving his goodbyes before leaving the room, closing it behind him.

So this was what the man was interested in, what he was forbidden from reading. You tap your fingers on the book cover before quickly placing your notebook on top of it, drawing your bottom lip into your mouth with your teeth as you quickly depart from the office, might as well make all your worries worthwhile. 

—

It wasn’t until later the next day you saw the man you were looking for; it was early afternoon, and you were packing up after having lunch when a head of unruly brown hair caught your eye, sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, coffee in one hand sandwich in the other. Grabbing Jayces book, which you had procured the night before, you quickly made your way towards the man before you lost your cool. Unceremoniously dropping the book in front of the man whose eyes darted from you to the book, mouth opening and closing in clear shock. 

“I hope whatever is in there is worth it,” you muttered, adjusting your bag on your shoulder before turning to leave.

“I-how?” Viktor called out, but you only replied with a cheeky smile, finger covering your mouth in secrecy as you walked away, thinking that to be the only interaction you would have with your mentor's other protege when his voice called out to you, not so far behind

“Wait” 

You stood stock still as he approached quicker than you would’ve thought given his cane, but you suppose it was a silly thought that an ailment could stop a man on a mission. Once he catches up with you, he continues to walk, so you join him, slightly confused as to what he may now want.

“Have you read it?” he asks. 

“It would be a lie to say I don't know of its content,” you replied, noticing his smile at your remark, eyes sparkling with wonder.

“What did you think?”

“I think...” You trail off, trying to come up with the right words as you both round a corner. “What he wants to do is revolutionary...” Your words scamper off slightly as you notice his eyes on the side of your face.

“But” he reads your mind.

“But”, you echo “I am unsure if he completely knows what he is doing or how he plans to do it”, trying to be as vague as possible due to the students scattered all around “I wrote some notes”, you gesture to the book “Things I thought could be helpful, I assume that's why you wanted it, to learn” 

“And how did you get it?” he wonders aloud. “Last time I checked, Heimerdinger wasn't giving out illegal independent research to anyone”, he said with a smile on his face.

“Let's just say it certainly wasn't by asking nicely,” you tease, matching his grin with one of your own “Well, you should probably go read and hide that before Heimerdinger sends out a search party for it.”

“I probably should” Viktor smiles as he turns back the way the two of you came, the book held tightly in his unoccupied hand. 

Continuing to walk the way you had been, you couldn’t help but feel relief at the fact that the book was now out of hands and the man, Viktor, seemed just as keen to keep this a secret as you did, even if you did spend all night essentially peer reviewing Jayce Talis’ work, unfortunately, your need to stay out of trouble with your superiors greatly outweighed your want to indulge in what he and assumedly Viktor was planning, you could only hope that your words you had spent all night working on where a help instead of a hindrance. You especially wanted to know how Viktor would take the words you wrote specifically for him at the front of the book: 

‘The greatest scientific ventures are the ones that bend the rules of the institution’   

—     

One of the benefits of being the dean's newest protege was that the academy gave you your lab, a small space just for you, it even had your name on a metal plaque on the door, probably due to the academy's narcissism, thinking that they would keep you even after your graduation, not that they were wrong. A fact that slightly irritated you. 

You didn’t usually get many visitors, just Heimerdinger, to see what you were working on, but those meetings were usually scheduled so he could ensure you were tallying in your lab and not at one of your usual haunts like the library. So you couldn’t help but jump at the sound of a knock on your door, eyebrows furrowed as you called out to whoever stood outside your door.

“Come in!” 

Your confusion lingered as Viktor walked in. It had only been a few days since you’d given him Jayce’s book, and from what you had heard, the two were now employed to continue Jayce’s studies non-illegally this time, being funded by Councilwoman Medarda, which they have named ‘Hextech’

“You’re not an easy woman to get ahold of”, Viktor claims as he takes a seat at your desk “I have been stopping by your room for a few days, but you were never in”, he continues, eyes piercing as he takes in the view of you, stood by another desk filled with colanders and Bunsen burners

“You sound like Heimerdinger when you say that” You smiled slightly in truth, scoffing at the face he made, clearly not appreciative of your parallel “What?” you laugh “he has said similar things on various occasions”

“I understand why,” he remarked.

“I spend a lot of time in the library, researching. Especially at the moment with final deadlines coming in, as I’m sure you remember,” he hummed at your explanation “And it’s not as if I’m a professor with allocated office hours, I don't need to be here,” you tell him passively looking back at your work at the table, deciding to turn off the flame not going to get any worthwhile work done until he's gone.

“So what can I do for you?” you asked when the man still sat in silence, seemingly comfortable to just watch you work he blinked, taken away from wherever he went upon registering your words.

“Oh well, I just wanted to thank you, Jayce, as well, for getting his book and your notes, they were more than helpful with working through the kinks in his theory- instrumental really to the breakthrough”, he admitted somewhat bashfully, stumbling over his words a little not that you noticed nervousness crawling up your spine at his approval of your words.

“Oh, um, you're welcome. I mean, a fresh pair of eyes is always helpful..” you murmur, unsure of yourself now as he stares at you, not daring to make eye contact, knowing it will only make your nerves worse.

“We were wondering, Jayce and I, if you would read some of our other research in the future, help us out. We would give out any references in the future for any work you do after study” he speaks delicately, soft and slow and if worried, he would scare you off like a child being caught doing something they shouldn’t. Your heart seems to slow from its anxious thumping as you contemplate his offer.

“I don't see why not”, you ponder absentmindedly, but your mind is already made up.

“Really?” he asked, though he didn’t sound shocked, more like he was trying to egg more words out of you.

“If you can find me, that is” You smile, the nerves falling away from you as he laughs a little 

“I’ll go tell Jayce the good news; he's going to be over the moon. You didn’t hear it from me, but he has always wanted to work with you. He said something about loving your approach in an article about the arcane:” You looked at the man again, but he simply walked out of the room, not sparing you another word. You had honestly forgotten that your last article had been published, and the fact that academics that you knew had read it and enjoyed it made a smile appear on your face, maybe this was going to be better than you had thought. 

—

A routine had been established this past few months, as winter made way for spring, you had found yourself in a comfortable pattern with the boys.

Once a week, on a Wednesday, you would spend the entire day in your lab working, and at some point, Jayce or Viktor would drop by with some work for you to look through and maybe a comment or two on things you had written the week before. These meetings were usually brief as they quickly needed to get back to work, so you would spend hours going through papers, tweaking diagrams, and sometimes even trekking to the library for a book that might help them. It wouldn’t be until the sun had made way for the moon in the sky that you would be done, taking the work down several corridors and stairs to get to their workspace, where they would still be working to drop them off. The two would then call it time for a break, so the three of you would scamper your way to the cafeteria for a change of scenery while you all ate the food you packed for lunch but had yet to get to.  

Today, however, Viktor seemed hellbent on breaking the schedule the three of you had unknowingly created. He had appeared at your lab, maybe a little earlier than he or Jayce usually decided to grace you with their presences, but it was of no matter to you, honestly, the earlier, the better, as it meant you may finish earlier than the hour of the wolf. He did bring a stack of papers with him, but instead of dropping them at your desk, sharing a few complimentary words, and then leaving, he dropped the work at your desk and then sat himself in the new chair he and Jayce had procured that was placed on the other side of your desk so they would have somewhere to sit, not that either of them had used it up until now. 

“You alright?” you ask, grabbing the top paper from the pile, you could immediately tell this was Jayce’s as the handwriting is much neater and the use of a very inky pen you quickly grabbed your pink pen and started to read the words on the page only to look up and give the man a sarcastic glower at his lack of words to which he simply smiled, not even the slightest bit disheartened by your look. 

“Jayce is off for the day, something to do with his sponsorship with the Kirammans. Told me to take the day off” he shuffled in the chair, attempting to get comfy as his hand grabbed at your notebook, deciding that he would read through some of your work for once

“And you have decided to spend your time here? Doing more work?” you questioned, though not paying the man much attention, mumbling to yourself on the words on the page, completely unphased by Viktor’s lack of decorum, it’s not as if it’s the first time he got bored and decided to read it. “Would mixing it with metal only make it more unstable?” you mutter, not expecting an answer “As an alloy, maybe, or would that make it worse..” you tap the pen on your cheek in thought before scrambling to write your thoughts in the margins of Jayce’s research

“I don’t see reading through your essays and research papers as work”, he admits, a shameless smile gracing his face as he watched you mumble to yourself “More of a palate cleanser, really”

“I just thought that a rest day was supposed to be resting, like having time away from work?” you tried to put the idea of leaving and maybe getting some sleep into the man’s head, his eyebags were becoming a permanent feature on his face like a shadow he cannot be rid of. 

“Quite hypocritical, don’t you think?” a teasing look on his face at your words “Is today not also your day off?” he questioned even though he knew the answer. You simply rolled your eyes, trying to smile as he barked out a laugh.

While today was your break from lessons, it had quickly become anything but a rest day after you took the boys up on their offer, there was no way that you could complete your last year's work and help them if you didn’t give up your rest day- so undoubtedly you were a hypocrite, much to your chagrin. 

“Just because I give up my days off to help you doesn’t mean you need to do the same,” you tell him, not wanting the man to feel obligated to help you.

“Maybe I want to?”

Well, you can’t argue with that.

The two of them work on your rather small desk with an ease you wouldn’t expect, but you find yourself very comfortable working alongside him and somehow, the work seems to go by faster.

Maybe it was because you wouldn’t need to spend countless hours trying to figure out what chicken scratch either of them had written on your own. Instead, a second pair of eyes, Viktor’s eyes, made the process go by much faster, albeit with some laughter at what on earth either of them had written. You had even managed a trip to the library, something you rarely had time for, usually going to pick up books for the boys the day after, or Jayce would go the day after with a slip of paper. Not only did you and Viktor have the time to pick up some books, but you also went through and verified if they could have something useful inside. 

The sun was still shining bright in the sky when you and Viktor had dropped everything off at his lab, still a few hours left of the day. It was an uncharacteristically nice day outside, certainly warmer than you would’ve expected from the spring in Piltover, so the two of you decided to eat your packed lunches outside on a bench within the academy grounds, both too tired to bother going exploring the city for somewhere nicer. 

“Now you have helped me, do you think I could convince you to go home and get some sleep, the bags under your eyes are also large enough to be considered their entities” You smiled, laughing quietly at the man sitting next to you as he coughed back his food, clearly not expecting your smartmouth  

“As if you’re one to talk”, he quipped as you let out a shocked gasp, though quickly matching his smile

“How about I promise to go back to my apartments and take a breather if you go to yours?” you propositioned. Honestly, some time in bed sounded heavenly

“Only if I walk you back, I don’t want you to sneak back to your office, I hear you can often find yourself in places you aren’t supposed to”, he joked

“It’s a deal then” Both of you chose not to comment on the matching grins on your faces. 

—   

When Heimerdinger said your last year of study would be the hardest, you believed him. But never did you imagine you could be so swamped.

 This past week, you had corralled a table in the library to yourself, spending more time sitting in the uncomfortable seat than anywhere else. It was deadline season, and to say it was hitting you hard was an understatement. No matter how well prepared you thought you were, the workload was unimaginable, leaving you with barely enough time to sleep or eat. Jayce had joked that during his last year, he essentially became a book within the library, and while it was funny at the time now, you understood why, feeling more and more like an encyclopedia by the day. 

Luckily for you, your self-imprisonment was soon coming to an end; all you needed to do was read through your coursework one more time, and it would all be done, your last piece of work as a student of the academy. You would dwell on its bittersweetness another time as you read through another paragraph, completely absorbed in your work, completely missing the familiar sounds of footsteps and the tapping of a cane coming your way.

“I swear I need to get a tracker on you” Your head shot up at the sound of Viktor’s voice

“I’m not that hard to find”, you complain as he sits himself down in the chair closest to yours, cane leaning against the table 

“I don’t think you get much of a say on the matter, your not the one who has to aimlessly wander around the academy” 

“Whatever”, you glower, attempting to get back to your reading when his hand reaches out to grab yours. you jolt, looking up as he intertwines your fingers

“How are you doing be honest” he holds eye contact as his thumb rubs at your index fingers, stopping just after he knuckle before traveling back up 

You smile “I’m drowning” 

he hums “I can tell” You slump rather unceremoniously into your chair, eyes closed as he continues to rub affectionately at your knuckle, a half-hearted attempt to seep all the tension away from you “Have you got much more to do?” he questions voice soft 

“No, just need to read through it once more, then it should be good to submit” You let out a large breath of annoyance, wishing you were finished, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep

“Then you’re done?” he probes 

“Completly done, well, until my contract starts as a researcher in the summer”, you clarify, eyes opening slightly, not missing the slight smile on his face, looking down when you heard a rustling of papers only to see Viktor’s non-occupied hand grabbing at your work.

“Take a break; I’ll give it the last read-through. Knowing you, it’s already perfect.” his soft yet stern voice didn’t leave much room for argument, so you closed your eyes again, only for a moment letting the constant feel of his thumb lull you into a calm you had never known. 

It was only, however, when you heard the unmistakable voice of Jayce that your eyes opened again, you sent a sheepish smile his way at the admittance that you had, in fact, fallen asleep, trying not to laugh too loudly at his remarks on how much Viktor must have been boring you, if only he knew.

—

Since you had officially handed in all your work and your classes had finished, you now found yourself with a lot of free time, a prospect Viktor and Jayce very much enjoyed. Coming every morning to your door to walk you to their lab for a day of work. Not that you minded, but before Hextech, your plans for the summer would’ve been reading or doing whatever Heimerdinger would see as befitting, so the work was beneficial to you, stopping you from going extensional on what it is you want to dedicate your academic life to, especially since you had no ideas, other than those to help the boys revolutionalise hextech, their current program with the hexgates you were sure was due a breakthrough any day. 

You found yourself sat at Jayces desk, him gone for the afternoon schmoozing with some counsellors to try and get as much funding off them as he could. You found yourself tapping along to the melody of the song Viktor had put on, the only time you could have music was when Jayce was out, as he claimed it was too stimulating for him. Working exactly where the man had left off, creating a small prototype of the hexgate, one of many that were to be used in tests planned for later in the week. You barely batted an eye as Viktor appeared next to you, used to him appearing closer than most would

“It’s looking good”, he gestured to the model in your hand you simply hummed in response, adding the final gear, shoulders slumping when you put it down. 

“How many do we need again?” you ask, hands rubbing at the tension in your neck from huddling to get a good look at what you were doing.

“Too many”, you groaned at his sheepish admittance. It was silent for a moment or so before he spoke again, an unknown quality to his voice that made you look up at him in confusion. 

“Jayce and I were thinking..” he trailed off slightly 

“Oh no”, you joked, smiling when you caught the amusement now on his face 

“I know, how scary”, he smirked “Anyway, as you’re coming back as a scientist for the academy, we thought, why not make your place with us permanent.”

“Really?” you questioned, do they honestly want you to help them all the time with the work that could improve lives and be the history pages? 

“I don’t think we’d be able to function without you now” he admitted 

“I’d love to,” you tell him smiling 

“Good”, the relief flooded the man “Because we already asked and got the go-ahead from Heimerdinger”, he confessed

“That confident?” you teased

“Obviously” 

—

You thought you had done a good job at pretending that today was just any other day, but clearly, as Viktor sat next to you with a cupcake with a candle in it - you had been wrong.

“How did you know today was my birthday? I didn’t tell anyone?” you asked, astonished. 

“Heimerdinger told me”, he revealed after you stared at him, clearly pleased with himself 

“How does that end up in conversation?” you wonder

“Don’t be so nosey”, he teases, hand coming to grab at your nose 

“Says the one who went to our mentor to ask about my personal life”, you accused, but the large smile on your face showed no malice in your words

“Touche”, he forfeited this round, lighting the candle on the cake before pushing it back into your face you simply sent him a look of victory before blowing out the candle, he quickly disposed of the candle before giving you the cake to eat  

“Got any big plans for twenty-one?” he wondered aloud 

“Work with you” You shrugged your shoulders, laughing lightly as you dug into your birthday cake

“A noble pursuit, I’m sure” It was silent for a short while as you finished your cake, but you didn’t make a move to speak, knowing the look on his face, he wasn’t done “Not going out celebrating? With a boyfriend, maybe?” 

“No, no boyfriend, never had the time for any of that. Heimerdinger told me that when a woman dedicates her life to academia, she does not bother dreaming of a family or a relationship, and I agree not many would be able to handle it. Why do you ask?” you admit

“Don’t want to be stepping on anyone’s toes is all”, he speaks nonachanlty despite his words being anything but  

“Well, your not”, you promise, lacing a hand with his

“Good” he brings your hand up his lips

—

You both had way too much stuff. The prospect of moving in together while still exciting the amount of work you had left made you gnaw at your bottom lip. You had a lot of help from Jayce and a rather reluctant Caitlyn to get the boxes into your and Viktor’s new home, and while she commented on its quaintness, it was certainly bigger than anywhere the two of you had ever dreamt of living in

“A family home”, Heimerdinger had teased the two of you when you told him, and you suppose he was right. You didn’t think much about the two spare rooms when you had purchased the house, thinking they would probably be offices, but Viktor absolute reluctance and disdain at your idea to turn one of the rooms into a library after looking at the sheer amount of books the two of you owned made you think differently, it wouldn’t take a smart man to know what he wanted to do with them. 

“Stop that” Viktor pulled your bottom lip away from your teeth, an annoyed glint in his eyes, clearly thinking about how many times he had told you those same words you simply kissed his thumb, making him smile at your affection

“There’s so much to do”, you inwardly groaned as you rested your head on his shoulder, making sure not to put too much of your weight on him

“We have the week; don’t need to do it all tonight”, he reminds you, giving a kiss on the top of your head

“Come on, I’ve already started in our room” You straighten up and follow him into your room looking at the picture frames he had already put around the room, one was placed on his bedside table, a photo Jayce had taken at your graduation with your cap and gown arms warped around Viktor a huge smile, all teeth as you look at the camera while Viktor is smiling proudly looking at you, smiling at the photo you move on to the frame he placed on the dresser, a piece of paper framed within it your hands grip the frame looking at the familiar words you had written:

‘The greatest scientific ventures are the ones that bend the rules of the institution’  

You turned to the man who was busying himself with a box filled with jumpers you had never seen him wear 

“You kept this?” you smile as he turns around, noticing his bashful expression at being caught. 

“You holding it, arent you?” he asked, trying to drive the conversation 

“Why,” you asked, not giving up so easily even as he caressed your face in an attempt to distract you groaning, he relented, he could not give you what you wanted, ever so spoiled by him you were

“At first, it was to remind me that it was all worth it” 

“At first?” you echo

“Then I kept it because it reminded me of you, of the future I want us to have, and that will only be possible if I kept working, even if it means going beyond the council and what they want.” 

“I was only shadowing your view, what you had said to Heimerdinger, something I wasn’t even supposed to hear”, you remind him.

“Well, I’m glad you did”, he admits “And I’m even more glad that you stole Jayces book because bending the rules is what brought us together”, his hand not on his cane gripped at your hip.  

“I’m glad I did, too”, you confirm your words with a kiss.

[yellowhearther0]

i love constantly being in A State (tm) because i can never tell whether my judgement calls r absolutely bullshit or actually somewhat right

[big-greer]

a BIG part of the lore of Dungeon Meshi is how ageism is bad. About how the long lived races treat the young lived races like children and thus infantilize them and do not show them the respect and understanding they deserve simply because of their looks or short life spans. Whether its because to them they look like children in their eyes (like half foots and gnomes) or because the adult ages of the younger lived races are still in the child ages for the longer lived ones and so they get treated/viewed as children (we see otta receive comments about getting with minors when in reality she dated adult half foot women. so we already see this view towards things like this are a thing in the lore) We see this with chilchuck, senshi, and marcille where the two later view chilchuck as a child and treat him like one even though he is a full grown man who drinks (and is supposed to have grey hairs) all because he looks young and in the newest episode its revealed he is 29 which is still young children to the two of them. We see how perspectives that characters are children because of their age being a childs age for a different race as opposed to their race or because they look like children is a completely infantilizing and disrespectful behavior that causes so many problems in the long run. a theme that is completely flying over the average tumblr users head.

ive seen people get furious at other people because they sexualize chilchuck and even marcille

“oh they look like kids so dont do that you freak”

you absolute fool you missed a major theme of the fucking story. But because they look young suddenly they are children? have you paid no attention to the story? did you just ignore how the ageisim and weird mindset about ages like that causes so many issues that could easily have been avoided. and as for the age one i see people getting furious at others for being into and sexualizing izutsumi even though she is a year past adult in tall man years, but because she isnt in the adult age range in real life (wild your applying real life society standards to a fictional medieval fantasy world). even though even in lore she would be well an adult able to get married and everything tumblr really does have the media literacy of a toddler.

[cy-cyborg]

Tips for Writing and Drawing Amputees: Bandaged Stumps

When writing and drawing amputee characters, unless your character only just lost their limb, they don't need to wear a bandage over their stumps.

to be clear, eda's depiction in the show was fine, since she'd only just lost her arm and went (presumably) without any medical attention, but because the show didn't have much time to show her afterwards, I've noticed a tendency of the fandom to draw her wearing the bandage permanently, so that's why I'm picking on her for my example lol.

It's a bit of a trope at this point, and I think it comes from one of a few different places:

Amputees do wear bandages on their stumps, but usually only for the first 6-12 weeks post-amputation, sometimes longer if the amputation was a result of a burn. It's possible people saw this though and assumed it was permanent.

Most amputees wear a sock made of either cotton or silicone under their prosthetics to provide them with some extra padding. These socks, called liners, often stick out from the top of the prosthetic socket and could possibly be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.

Some amputees will wear compression garments for a few months to a few years after their amputations which could also be mistaken for a bandage from a distance. These garments are designed to stop swelling and reduce phantom pain, but they aren't bandages.

Stumps get cold easier because their circulation typically isn't as good as the rest of the body, so some amputees will wear socks over them even if they aren't wearing a prosthetic to keep warm, which again could be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.

This one is funny, but in my experience unfortunately, it's the most common: people think the end of an amputee's stump is just a perpetual open wound that never heals. Meaning to avoid "gore" it needs to be covered. I've met fully grown adults who believed this until I showed up to work/uni without my prosthetics or socks on.

People are uncomfortable with seeing an uncovered stump and so put bandages over it to avoid confronting their biases.

Some combination of these points.

But yeah, unless your amputee has only just lost their limb in the last few weeks, they don't need a bandage.

The ironic thing too, is that for most amputees, bandaging a stump is nearly impossible. I've been in and out of hospital since I was 1 year old and only ever met 3 nurses and no doctors/surgeons who could successfully bandage my stump in a way that the bandage would even stay on. This is because stumps are usually tapered in shape (meaning they are wider at the top, closer to the body, and thinner at the bottom), so gravity will pull the bandage off 9 times out of 10.

On a final note: it's ok to show your amputee's stump, it's not gore, there's no blood, it just looks like a regular limb that just stops early. In fact, if you are writing/creating anything for kids or that is likely to be seen by kids, I encourage you to show your amputee's stumps at least once. I used to work on a disability awareness program for kids, and I lost count of the amount of times kids were terrified of me, because they all expected my leg to be bloody and gory. For a lot of kids, I was their first real-life exposure to an amputee, meaning they'd never even heard of people like me, or they had seen an amputee on TV, but because the show went out of its way to avoid showing the person's stump, they assumed it must have been because there was "something scary at the end" that they weren't supposed to see (kids are surprisingly perceptive, they will pick up on stuff like that without you realising). And scared kids aren't good at articulating why they're scared, and would often say really mean or hurtful things to me. I knew not to take it personally and learned how to handle those situations, but not everyone is used to dealing with kids. For a new amputee (or anyone who's less confident in their disability), the kinds of things those kids would say could be absolutely confidence destroying. I never blame the kids, it's not their fault, but the whole situation could have been avoided if they had seen people like us before they had the chance to hear the wrong info. Good representation like this can be the difference between a kid crying, making throw-up sounds and calling an amputee "disgusting monsters" (all things I've had kids do/say) and them just being like "oh ok, cool."

[grimm909]

Red Phone - Part 1

Hello everybody! I'm back and for good! Thank you all so much for your support and comments.

This is a work done especially in celebration of Halloween. Unfortunately, it was supposed to be something small, but again I ended up getting carried away and had to separate it into two parts (maybe three, since the story is still developing). The story will also be posted on a03

Happy reading!

WARNINGS: age difference, non-con, kidnapping, horror, mental breakdown, murder, forced pregnancy

It had been a week since you and your family had moved into a new house. It was large, but had a somewhat morbid appearance, probably due to the time it had been abandoned. Although her parents had renovated it to make the house more presentable, it wasn't exactly an inviting place from the outside. Well, just on the outside, since you really had to give credit for how fascinating she was on the inside.

For example, the attic was an interesting location when you first saw it; full of old and dusty boxes, representing that the previous owner of that place had simply abandoned it there without bothering to come back one day to pick it up. When you went to open the boxes together with your parents to organize that place, there were some interesting things inside like comic books, board games, old clothes and even some somewhat useless objects. Much of it would simply be donated, since you didn't have much interest in most of those things, apart from comics and books.

However, something tucked into the bottom of one of the boxes and carefully wrapped in a piece of black fabric aroused his curiosity. A red phone cordless. Just an old-fashioned device, which was only used for calls and which would probably never pique anyone's interest due to how useless it was compared to a digital cell phone. However, it was curious to see that even though it had been abandoned for years, the device has a appearance new, the blood red color of the device still being quite shiny. It was quite pretty, you had to admit.

When you showed the device to your parents, they both didn't show much interest, although they were surprised to see that it still worked, even after years and years of abandoned it inside. They said you could stay if you wanted, even though it wasn't really useful to you due to the fact that already had a cell phone. You analyzed the device and said that it could be useful if at some point your cell phone stopped working and there was some precision. This would probably never actually happen.

What harm would it do to have it, right?

[…]

You wake up at midnight with your red phone ringing. It was the first time it had rung since you obted gotten it three days ago, since you were the one who normally made the calls.

Trying as hard as possible to get out of bed, you walk over to the phone that was on your desk and answer it.

"Hello?" You ask hoarsely.

“Koebi-chan, I'm so close to you.” A male voice whispers on the other end of the line. It doesn't sound like the voice of anyone you know. “I’m finally going to see what you look like.”

You remain silent for a while, absorbing what that must mean, but quickly concluding that it must just be a wrong call.

“Sorry sir, I think you called…” You didn’t finish your sentence when the call simply fell

Raising an eyebrow in disbelief, you don't care enough about the mystery man, placing your phone back in its place and returning to bed.

[…]

Two months have passed since you and your parents moved into the new house, so you already know a little about your neighbor across the street.

Ace was his name.

He was the only person closest to his house, with no one else around. A handsome man who appeared to be around thirty years old, married to a woman whose name was Elisa and having a ten year old daughter named Alice.

The two of you got along relatively well due to the older's playful personality, which reminded you more of a teenager than an adult.

You always greeted him every time you saw him across the street, also smiling and waving at him whenever you saw him through your bedroom window, since through it you had a complete view of Ace's house.

His wife and daughter were also sociable people and you wich especially became attached to the child, loving to take care of her when Ace and his wife left the house to have some alone time as a couple.

Alice also seemed to like you a lot, almost always knocking on your door so you could play together. Sometimes you accepted and other times you refused because you needed to study for college, in the latter case always earning a sad pout from the little girl.

The red phone rings at eight o'clock at night. The only difference from the first time is that you are not sleeping, but taking notes sitting at your desk.

"Hello?" You answer without blinking and lift the phone to your ear.

“Crab?” The male voice on the other line asks.

"Who?" You respond, confusion written all over your face.

“Isn’t that Ace Trappola’s number?”

"No. You called his neighbor.”

The voice is silent for a moment.

“There are no other neighbors besides Crab.”

“By Crab, you mean Ace?” Even though you think that's exactly what it is, it wouldn't hurt to ask.

”The same person~” He drawls.

“I've been Ace's neighbor for about three months. I moved recently.” You calmly explained, tapping your pen on your notebook. You were new to the neighborhood, so this stranger must have bee confused.

“There’s no one else but my family and Crab’s family here.” The voice says in a frustrated or perhaps nervous tone, you can't quite place it.

“I think there was some mistake. What’s your address?” You ask confused, starting to consider it was a prank.

The male voice gives you the location and you let out a tired sigh, realizing that it really was a stupid joke.

“You just described my address.”

The voice on the other end of the line becomes silent once again, until it breaks into laughter.

“Hehehehe, good Grab. I don’t know what you used to change your voice, but it almost got me.”

He says one last time, before hanging up on your face.

[…]

The stranger's call had piqued his curiosity. Were there really no neighbors around? The next day you explained the situation to your mother, who agreed that it could be a prank, since no one really lived close to there anymore. It was a considerably isolated place and far from everything.

“What about the previous owner of the house?” You asked the older woman who had her back turned, washing the lunch dishes.

“The previous owners sold it to a real estate agent.” His mother stated. “The agent who sold me the house just said that after that some other people came to live here, but that after a few years they usually sold it.”

"Just that?" You were displeased, expecting something more impactful.

“I was more interested in how many rooms the house had than who had lived here before.” She laughed nasally.

You would gain no more useful information from your mother and decided that the next place you would explore would be the attic, where there were five more boxes left that had not been opened.

Maybe it was a fruitless search, maybe you were just wasting time, but the man you had talked to didn't seem like a total liar, like he really had conviction in what he was saying. He even knew Ace's first and last name and you doubted your neighbor was playing a prank with you — it would be quite old-fashioned for a man of that age.

You turn on the attic light and open the first box, spilling all the things inside on the dusty floor, finding nothing that would help you learn more about the house. The second box was simply full of old clothes that were too big for you. The third is where you find a kind of notebook, but when reading its contents you don't find anything truly interesting or that indicates the owner of it.

Clank

Turning another page, a piece of paper falls out and you pick it up from the floor, realizing it is an old photograph faded at the edges. Analyzing the image, it seemed to be a family, consisting of the mother, the father and two completely identical children. On the back of the photo was the date it was taken, along with a small statement that probably referenced the two boys in that photo.

Clank

02/22/2009

My beautiful treasures, ♡Floyd♡ and ♡Jade♡

Even with the information obtained, that didn't seem like enough, especially when you didn't even have their last name. You decide to continue exploring the rest of the boxes, but you don't have the same success as before.

Clank

Putting everything back in its place, you decide to keep the photo for research purposes, keeping it in your pants pocket. Darkness encompasses the room when you turn off the light.

Clank

Going down the attic stairs, that's when you notice a strange sound coming from it, resembling two objects hitting each other. You decide to go back to check what it could be, turning on the light again and finding nothing that could hint at the reason for the noise.

Clank

You feel something fall on your head and run your hand over it to remove any insects that may have gotten into your hair. However, it is not exactly “something” that falls, but rather crumbs that appeared to be wood. Crumbs that continued to fall on the ground around him and on his head.

Clank

You go to the other side of the attic that was free of that dust and look up, expecting to find some termites eating away at the ceiling. However, it was something much worse than mere termites.

Something that could not be seen or touched.

Invisible hands carve the ceiling letter by letter, slowly forming an entire sentence.

JADE IS AN IDIOT BITCH

[…]

That number does not exist.

That's what appeared on the red phone screen when you tried to call the same number that called you last night. Even though he had the number saved on his phone, every time he pressed the button to call back, it was always the same message.

Honestly, at this point in the tournament, you didn't doubt that the house or the phone were haunted, not after what you had seen in the attic. Of course, upon witnessing such a scene, you just hurriedly fled, locking yourself in your room and determined to never set foot up there again.

You were scared of what this could be. However, his curiosity still continued to speak louder than any other feeling. Furthermore, you couldn't even run away from that house, since there was nowhere else to go and your parents would never believe that story about a strange message having suddenly appeared in the attic. His only option at the moment was to stay and find out what the hell was going on.

Therefore, all you could do was wait until the mysterious boy called again.

[…]

The red phone rings at midnight and you hurriedly put down your notebook and pen to put your hands on it, answering it without thinking twice.

"Hello!?" You say in a mix of fear and euphoria.

“So close…” The voice on the other end sounded breathless, almost as euphoric as you were.

“Close to what?” You ask, still unable to recognize who the man on the other end of the line was, even though you knew it was the same voice who had called you the first time.

“Close… pouʇ… of …ʇɹnsʇ… Let’s go …ɥᴉɯ… Together” You can’t hear it properly, the horrible sound of static playing in the background. “You just… ɯnɹ… pǝɹǝɹ… stay on the phone”

The call drops and you look at the small phone screen, noticing strange glitches. You hit his side with the palm of your hand, trying to get him back to normal.

After a few seconds, the static stops.

[…]

At six o'clock the next day, the red phone rings.

However, unlike last time, you seem a little afraid to answer. Maybe that device was the reason for the start of his problems, that was almost certain. You had even seriously thought about setting that thing on fire, maybe then the bizarre things would stop. Still, a part of you refused to do that, thinking it might end up making the situation worse instead of better.

You decide to follow the unknown man's instructions, even though you didn't trust him. Maybe he was a ghost who had possessed that cell phone and was now haunting you, you were starting to come up with some insane theories.

"Hello?"

“Ah, it’s the same voice as before.” The guy on the other line says uninterested.

"Yes. But don’t hang up, please.” You say as politely as possible. “It’s not a prank and I’m not Ace.”

“I know it’s not.” He responds back. “I spoke to Crab yesterday and he was quite confused, saying that this wasn’t even his number anymore.”

"Great." You sighed in relief. “Look, it might be hard to believe, but the address you gave me is actually the same as the one I live at.” You looked out your bedroom window and saw Ace playing with his daughter in the backyard. “My house is literally opposite his.”

“Eehh, mine too.” The boy spoke from the other side, not seeming to fully believe you. “Or would it be ours?” He laughed.

“Could you tell me your name?” You ask, taking the photo you had collected from the attic out of your desk drawer.

“Floyd Leech. And you?"

You turn the verse and see that the name was the same, but you don't know how to describe which of the twins he would be in the photo. The date on which it was taken also arouses your curiosity and you again begin to think that this whole situation was perhaps a bad joke. Could it be that the former resident of that house, Floyd, was just playing a welcome prank on you?

“Hey, don’t ignore me!” The voice on the other end gets louder when you take a long time rambling.

“Sorry, I just got distracted by something.” You prefer not to talk about the photo at hand. “My name is Y/n.”

“Never heard of it.” His disinterested tone returns to the surface.

“Yes, I had never heard of you either until today” That wasn’t entirely true, as you had discovered the photo a few hours ago. “I know it sounds strange, but could you tell me today’s date?”

“What, are you that lost in time?” He laughed. “Seriously, what did you smoke?”

“I swear I’m quite sane.” You respond sharply, but return to a calmer tone of voice, not wanting him to hang up the phone again. “Tell me today’s date, please.”

“Asking me so affectionately like that, I can’t refuse.” He jokes, using a more sly tone. “Today is 04/20/2009”

You cough, choking on your own saliva.

“Exactly at six-fifteen in the afternoon?” You look at the clock on the wall in your room.

“You got it~”

The phrase that appeared in the attic appears in his head like a puzzle piece to be fitted into that mystery. You had thought about the possibility that it was a vengeful ghost writing that, but upon reflection, it was more like an angry brother writing something stupid about his other brother.

“Something appeared in the attic yesterday.” You revealed. “A message that said: Jade is a stupid bitch. Did you do it?”

There is a short silence on the other side.

“How do you know that, huh!?” The previously sly voice suddenly turns into something threatening and you briefly withdraw the phone from your ear. “You’ve been spying on me, bitch!” He spits and you swear that if he were in front of you, that guy would definitely move towards you.

"No! I’m not spying on anyone.” You state with conviction, using your other hand to search your digital cell phone for any information that occurred on the same date that Floyd informed you. “I know it's hard to believe, but it's possible that we are in the same house, in different years.” It doesn't take long for you to find news that matches the date. “At nine o’clock, a plane will crash north of Chica-…”

“You and Jade are making fun of me, aren’t you!?” The boy on the other side looked like he was going to explode with rage. “Tell him to go fuck himself!”

You no longer have a chance to explain yourself, when he hangs up on you again.

[…]

The next day, you look for Ace to talk about the house's previous residents. You knock on his door, but are answered by Alice.

“Come to play with me?” The little girl asks happily, jumping up and down in anticipation.

“Sorry, I just came here to talk to Ace about something.” You break the illusion of the little girl, who makes a sulky expression and goes back into the house, screaming for her father.

It doesn't take long for him to appear in front of you, closing the door behind him and walking with you to the curb.

“Mom said you’ve lived here for several years. Does that mean you got to know the first residents?” You asked bluntly.

"Yes. They were a reserved family, a little strange and even scary, I would say.” He let out a nasal laugh, as if remembering something amusing.

“I found this photo.” You take the photograph from your pants pocket, handing it to Ace who promptly takes it. “It’s them, isn’t it?”

“Ah, man, I barely remembered the faces.” He spoke in surprise, a little nostalgic. “But it’s them, yes.”

“On the back it says Jade and Floyd, but I don’t know who is who. They are identical.”

“Hehe, if you look closely, you will notice subtle differences in each one.” He comes to stand next to you and holds out the photo for you to observe the details. “See, this is Jade who is smiling without showing her teeth, with her hands together in front of her body and correct posture. He was always the most reserved and eloquent, sometimes he even seemed like a butler.” He laughed and you followed him, infected by the energetic laugh that Ace had. “This is Floyd…” The redhead’s tone seemed less enthusiastic and more morbid for a moment, but you thought it was just a bad impression, as he soon returned to his usual playful normality as he talked about the other brother. “Relaxed expression and hand behind the head. Man, he was a whirlwind, the total opposite of his brother.”

"I imagine." You nodded, remembering how he snapped yesterday afternoon. “But why did they move?”

“Well…” Ace handed you the photo. “A tragedy occurred with the family” He sighed heavily, seeming to not like that story. “One of the sons ended up dying.”

His breath came ragged from the shock.

“But… how?” You asked, disbelieved.

“A motorcycle accident.” Ace shrugged. “The mourning was very much for the Leech family, mainly because they were all very united.”

“That’s why they moved?”

“I think they wanted to start again, somewhere else.” He theorized. “Honestly, I would have done the same.”

“But which of the brothers ended up dying in this accident?” You asked, apprehensive about the answer.

No, you already knew the answer.

“Floyd Leech.”

[…]

The accident had occurred on 04/30/2009

Since the days of the past and present were the same, this meant that Floyd would end up dying in seven days.

Shortly after talking to Ace, you returned home and did some research on your laptop to find out more about what had happened. In addition to finding out the date, you had discovered that Floyd died at the scene of the accident, before the ambulance could even provide assistance. Bones broken and fractured, his body had been completely torn apart.

If you still had doubts that this could be a joke, that possibility simply evaporated without a trace. You didn't just seem to be messing with the supernatural, but also with the timeline. That, or the house was haunted by the spirit of young Floyd who never passed on to the afterlife. Well, you hoped it was the first theory, since the latter was pretty scary and there weren't any ghostbusters you could call.

Your only option at that moment was to wait for Floyd to call you again before that date. You wanted to try to save him from that horrible fate, even though you were doubtful about the time lapse it could bring. If you saved him, would you still be living in the same house? Would you end up forgetting everything that happened, including Ace and Alice?

You had watched countless time travel movies and, honestly, the possibilities were endless.

[…]

The red phone rings at four o'clock.

You were in the shower, but you interrupt to hurriedly grab the towel and wrap it over your wet body, leaving a trail of water as you leave the suite and head to your room. You rub your wet hand under the towel before picking it up, worried that you might end up damaging the phone through sheer lack of attention.

"Hello?"

“How did you know?” It was Floyd. You were aware he was asking about the plane crash.

“I saw it on the internet.” You replied simply. “I’m in the same house as you, but fifteen years ahead.”

“What else do you know about me?”

“Honestly, nothing.” You shake your head in denial, even though you know he couldn't see you. “But I know what will happen to you.”

“What do you mean by that?” He asks, looking annoyed.

“On the twenty-eighth of this month, you will have a motorcycle accident.” You respond impassively. “A truck runs over you and you die before they can even help.” Although it would be a little cruel to say something so scary unceremoniously, you didn't want to beat around the bush. Everything now simply depended on whether Floyd believed you or not. “I would never joke about something so serious.” You finally say.

"I believe." You mentally thank him for the vote of confidence. “But why are you living in my house?”

“My mother recently bought this house from a real estate agent. The first family to live here sold it fifteen years ago, which coincides with the time you had the accident.”

“Do you know what happened to them?” From the tone of his voice, Floyd sounded worried.

“I found out about your brother through a photo I found in the attic” Which was still kept on his desk. “I did some quick research. Apparently he is a partner in a restaurant chain called Mostro Lounge. Quite impressive!”

“Aaah, so he did well.” Floyd didn't really seem surprised by his brother's success. “Cool~”

“I’m sure you too can have a cool future if you stay at home or take your motorcycle in for repairs.” You advise him gently. “Since the accident occurred due to a clutch failure.”

“Eehh, I just lent Crabby the bike until the weekend” Floyd looked annoyed. “I can’t believe that idiot is going to end up breaking her.”

“Haha…” You laughed awkwardly. “As soon as he returns it to you, just take it to be repaired.”

“Why are you helping me?” He questions, seeming really curious about that act of kindness coming from a stranger.

“I can stop someone from dying. I think anyone else would do the same in my place.” You shrugged. “And from what I saw in your family photo, you're still too young to go to the afterlife so soon” You laughed, trying to relax to make the situation less gloomy. “How old are you, Floyd?”

“Twenty years.”

"Coincidence. Me too."

“Do you think that’s one of the reasons we’re breaking the rules of spacetime?” He laughed nasally and you followed him with a brief giggle.

“To tell the truth, I think it’s because of the house or a red phone I found in the attic.” You theorized, choosing not to think about it anymore. “Maybe both.”

“A red cordless phone?”

“That one.” You confirmed, surprised.

“He is mine. The same one I’m using to talk to you.”

Okay, the weirdness hadn't stopped.

“Did you happen to throw some voodoo on him?” You joked and heard him laughing on the other end.

“If I was capable of something like that, I don’t think I would have died, right?” He replied back, dejectedly.

“Hehe, yeah…” The mood took a turn for the worse once again and you were forced to think of something to change the situation or simply hang up, since you were making the whole room wet. “Look, I’m not able to return your call, much less call you directly. So could you call me the day after tomorrow at the same time?”

"Of course~" His mood appears to have improved, to which Floyd responded excitedly. “I really want to know what the future looks like in fifteen years.”

[…]

The next day, you knocked on your neighbor's door again, this time being answered by Ace's wife.

Today you were committed to taking care of little Alice, since the older woman was going to visit her parents and only return the next day. And Trappola would not be able to take care of her daughter, as he would only arrive after six o'clock.

“You’re on time.” Elisa commented with a friendly smile.

“I like to be punctual!” You stated excitedly. “Are you leaving yet?”

"Yes. I won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.” She hands him the house key. “There is food in the fridge if you want to eat, just heat it in the microwave.”

You nod in agreement, waving goodbye to Elisa as she gets into the car and starts it.

You enter the house you were already familiar with and lock the door, finding Alice in the living room watching TV.

“Hi, aunt.” She greets without looking at you, too engrossed in what was playing on the screen.

“Do you prefer to play or watch?” Looking at the screen, you recognized it as the little mermaid movie.

“It starts now!” She turned her head towards him and made those irresistible pious eyes. “Make some popcorn and come watch with me.”

You are unable to deny her request, doing what the girl asks you and after a few minutes returning to the room with a bucket full of popcorn. Already knowing the things that would happen, you weren't very excited about watching the film again, but the songs were still good to listen to and you even found yourself singing one of them together with Alice.

When the film ends, she decides that now she wants to play with dolls, picking up a beautiful plastic baby that was sitting in a child's chair.

“Look, auntie, it’s my new doll!” Alice said happily, practically rubbing the new toy in you face. “She even talks!” The girl presses the doll's chest with both thumbs.

Mommy, I love you.

"Cool!" You feign excitement at the irritatingly childish voice coming out of the object. Dolls hadn't been her thing for years.

“I’ll get another doll upstairs for us to play.” Alice places the toy in you lap and runs upstairs.

Being left alone with that silly toy, you squeeze the doll's chest to hear what other phrases she had.

Let's play!

You squeeze again.

Mommy, I'm hungry.

Again.

Can we go to the park?

One more time.

If you keep going, he'll come get you.

You are startled and let the doll fall from your hands, hurriedly getting up from the floor and moving away. For a moment, you fear that thing will rise up and start attacking you, similar to the killer doll movie. However, seconds pass and the toy remains stagnant on the floor, as lifeless as it always was.

Something in the previously said phrase arouses your curiosity and you raise an eyebrow, wondering who would come to pick you up or if it was just some hideous factory defect, as even the toy's irritating voice had become less childish and more morbid.

Even though you were afraid, you approached and picked her up, squeezing the doll's chest again to see what else she could say.

Mommy, I love you.

You snort, annoyed.

[…]

Ace arrives at eight o'clock, a little later than usual.

“Alice is already in bed.” You tell him as you watch him take off his dress shoes and coat, placing the latter on the hanger.

“Sorry to make you stay late.” He laughs awkwardly and you can tell by the expression on his face that the redhead looks haggard.

“Oh, no. It’s ok.” You reassure him with a gentle smile. “You look tired, is everything okay?”

“It’s just the job.” Ace lets out a heavy sigh, walks over to the sofa you were sitting on and sprawls his body on it, arms completely open under the upholstery.

“What exactly do you do?” You ask curiously, as you never knew about your neighbor's job.

"Counter." Ace responds dejectedly.

You also don't help improve his mood when you burst into laughter, disbelieving that this was the cynical Ace's profession.

"Hey!" The redhead exclaims, annoyed that you're laughing in his face.

“I’m sorry, but this doesn’t suit you at all.” Wiping a tear from your eye, you continue laughing in a less outrageous way.

“Obviously not.” He snorts. “But it’s not like I had a lot of choices.”

"What do you mean?" Calmer after the explosion of laughter, you ask intrigued.

“I was twenty-three when Elisa became pregnant with Alice.” Ace looks towards the stairs where the rooms were, turns his attention to you and lowers his voice. “It was an accident.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, surprised.

“Because of that, I dropped out of college and got a job so I could take care of the baby-”

“College of what?” Although it would be appropriate to continue listening to your friend's story without interrupting, your curiosity gets the better of you and your mouth moves before you can even think.

“Nah, you’ll laugh.”

"No! I won’t, I promise.” You bring your index fingers together to form an “x”, bringing them to your mouth. “Tell me!”

"Teacher." He responds without much ceremony.

You actually keep your promise and don't laugh, but you are truly incredulous that this would be the profession chosen by the mischievous Ace.

“Professor Ace Trappola.” You say slowly, testing how the taste of those words sound to your ears. “Sounds good.”

“Do you think so?” He smiles, apparently more excited by those simple words.

Yes yes." You agree smiling. “But tell me more! What’s the rest of the story?” You question, curious to know more about the redhead's life.

“After two years, Elisa and I got married. We thought it would be good if we got our shit together.” He shrugs and becomes discouraged again. “We already had a baby, we just needed the rings.”

"I'm very sorry." You say painfully, although you didn't know exactly why you were sorry. Maybe because Ace's dreams never came true? For the years lost in a life he never wanted?

“It’s okay, I kind of like being a father.” He gave you a sincere smile and you knew Ace wasn't lying.

“What about Elisa?”

“I like her too.” He responds without the sincere smile from before, just a blank facet. There was no sparkle in his eyes when he mentioned his own wife, you noticed. “You know, I saw you yesterday.” Ace suddenly changes the subject, straightening his posture on the couch to face you.

"As? I didn’t even leave the house.” You raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

“In the window, answering an old phone.” A dirty little smile appears on Ace's lips and you feel like you were missing something.

It still takes a few seconds to understand exactly when that happened, until the penny falls heavily on your head.

“Oh, my God!” You cover your face with the palms of your hands, too embarrassed to look at the redhead. “I’m not a pervert, I swear it was accidental!”

“Hahaha.” It's his turn to laugh about your misfortune and it makes you feel even worse, groaning in annoyance between your fingers. Seeing that you really felt bad about that, Ace immediately stopped laughing. “Okay, okay.” He holds your wrists delicately, gradually lowering the hands that covered your face so that you can face him again. Seeing him now, he seemed to have gotten even closer to you face. “Honestly, I liked the view.” The redhead gives you that stupid smile again.

“Hmm.” You just moan in agreement, still embarrassed and not knowing exactly how to react to Ace's compliment.

“You’re kind of bad at reading the climate.” He laughs one last time, before closing his eyes and breaking the distance that separated your lips from his.

Ace is quick to wrap his tongue around yours when you opened your mouth a little in surprise from the sudden kiss, involuntarily allowing the redhead to explore the inside of your mouth.

Even though you're shocked, it doesn't take you more than three seconds to close your eyelids and let yourself be carried away by the moment. Their tongues come together in a delicate way, exactly like a calm sailing at sea.

His brain gradually fills with pleasure, which was provided by the kiss that became more steamy as time passed. His tongue moved with an impressive mastery that you never had with boys your age.

Inside you there was a damn explosion of happiness, which internally clashed with some bitter emotions present, but which were being furiously crushed as the kiss progressed from a peaceful way to a hotter and wetter one.

Ace didn't seem very distant, wanting you more and more to the point of wanting to become just one with you through your lips that he so wished to kiss. The redhead takes his hand to you head and sinks his fingers into you locks, giving more depth to the kiss, but also making the air in her lungs become increasingly scarce.

The fact that you both needed to breathe became an obstacle in the midst of the pleasure you felt, which forced Ace to stop the kiss and move away a little.

He carefully visualizes the delicate features of your face, as he had done so many times without you noticing, considering that your pink cheeks due to embarrassment or the possible ecstasy of the kiss left you very cute. However, the redhead's greatest attention ended up once again falling on his parted lips, which were now slightly swollen and red. Ace couldn't help but feel attracted and mesmerized by them again, as he had been for a long time.

After normalizing his breathing, he was going towards you for a second kiss, but you stopped him by putting your hand in front of his mouth, preventing Ace from kissing you again.

“Ace, you have a wife.” You do your best not to fall into temptation again.

Although you couldn't deny that you had some conflicted feelings regarding what you felt for Ace, it wasn't fair to stab Elisa in the back. You liked her and didn't want to be a home wrecker. Not only would it harm her, it would also harm little Alice.

"I understand." He says placidly, stepping back. “But Elisa and I are going to separate.”

"Huh!?" You face forms into a clearly confused expression.

“Before you even arrived, things were complicated.” He lets out a tired sigh. “She went to her parents’ house to stay away from me for a while.”

“Did something happen?” Maybe it was rude to ask, but you needed to know if that story was really true.

“We fought yesterday.” His shoulders slumped in dismay. “I wasn’t lying when I said I liked Elisa. I like, but I don't love her anymore.”

“Is it possible for someone to stop loving another person?” A line of disbelief forms on his forehead, doubtful that something like this would be possible between two people who have lived together for so many years.

“In my case, apparently yes.” He laughed half-heartedly. “Elisa and I stayed together for Alice and tried to stay together as a family for her.” The redhead looks away to look at his own bare feet. There was a light of regret and sadness in his crimson eyes. “But we hurt ourselves in the process.” You stay silent, feeling a little sorry for Ace and Elisa, but mostly for Alice. Trappola looks at you again and once again gets dangerously close to you, but he doesn't kiss you. Instead, he places one of his hands on the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb in a clear sign of affection and kindness. "I want you."

You don't know exactly how to feel about this statement. The doubts were still present in his head and apparently the only way to dismiss them was to confirm the words previously said by Ace.

“Are you really going to break up? I don’t want to be a home wrecker, much less be your lover.” You firmly admit.

“In a month. Only a month left until the divorce papers are ready.”

In a bold and unpredictable move that you never expected to come out of your own mouth, the next words would surprise you when you remembered them the next day.

“Let’s go to your room.”

Trappola's crimson eyes shine and a smile of genuine happiness emerges from the corners of his mouth. He jumps off the couch and grabs your hand, dragging you upstairs.

[…]

Before you knew it, Ace already had his face buried between your legs.

His mouth was firmly attached to your intimacy, teasing hickeys with wet and obscene sounds, tasting every bit of your pussy to engrave the taste in his memory.

“You’re so hot.” Ace praises, placing a kiss on the inside of her thigh and then returning to attack her sensitive parts.

Even with one hand over your mouth to stifle your moans, you still moan loudly, feeling him focus exclusively on your clit, licking and sucking with such devotion that you can't stop yourself from taking your other free hand to locks Ace, squeezing a bundle of unruly red strands. He was very good at making your pussy the most appetizing thing in the world.

It had only been a few minutes since Ace was fucking you so fervently, but even in that short time you already felt the heat in your belly building up more and more, ready to explode. He was amazing at oral sex, probably due to years of experience. Your hand would never satisfy you in the same way again after experiencing the wonder that Ace mouth was capable of provi.

Trappola's teeth graze over your sensitive spot and you let out a whiny moan, drops of tears splashing your eyes due to the ecstasy you've never felt. Your soaked little hole was begging for a piece of meat, to the point where your warm, velvety walls tightened around nothing as Ace fucked you with his tongue.

You involuntarily lift your hips several times, while sparks of pleasure cross your body in a clear sign that you were close to finally reaching the fullness of pleasure.

“Ace I… Ah!… I… Ngh… I’m going to…” You remove your hand from in front of your mouth to warn him, but your moans were making it difficult for you to form a coherent sentence.

He looks deeply at you with his scarlet orbs filled with lust and possession, before pulling away to give you that stupid little smile and order in a husky voice.

“Cum for me, dear.” It's the last thing Ace says before he goes back to attacking your sensitive pussy with more frenzy than before, without taking his eyes off you.

You don't know if it's because of the eroticism of those words, the way he looks at you or even the most obvious reason that his mouth was on your vulva, but you scream and finally reach your limit. The knot that had formed in your abdomen dissolves in a hot orgasm and your hips rise again, at the same time that your entire body spasms constantly with pleasure.

Even after he has successfully made you cum, Ace continues to lick you more gently, sucking the clear fluid that comes out of your tight hole. He only moves away when he feels sufficiently satisfied, a thick thread of drool connecting your wet pussy to his mouth, but which soon falls apart the further away these two are.

“Please tell me your room has thick walls.” You inquire heavily, recovering from the newly felt high.

“Don’t worry about making loud noises.” Ace laughs and crawls until he is at the height of your face, kissing you and making you feel your own taste still present in the older man's mouth. Your arms circle around his neck and you reciprocate without any reluctance in that act.

Ace's hand roams your already fully naked body, sliding from your soft abdomen to your newly stimulated crotch, touching your hole. Upon noticing what he was about to do, you quickly close your legs and stop Trappola from continuing with his actions. You break the kiss and moderately push him away with your elbow, sitting on the bed.

“What’s the matter?” Ace asks as he puts his weight under his knees, clearly confused by your quick change in attitude.

“That's kind of embarrassing to say.” An awkward laugh passes your lips and you look away. “I’m still a virgin.”

Ace remains silent for about three seconds, before exclaiming in perplexity:

“Whoa, really?” He quickly removes his hand from between your legs.

“Yes, but I hope that’s not a problem for you.” You bite your bottom lip nervously and look back at him.

“Haha, that’s no problem at all.” Ace laughed, that beautiful energetic smile you loved so much adorning the mature features of his face. “I’m just surprised by that. I mean, you’re so pretty.” You were taken aback by the compliment and your face heated up as you watched the way he looked at you affectionately.

“I don’t want you to take my virginity with your fingers.” You laughed at your own words, quickly changing the subject. Honestly, you didn't want to ruin the mood by commenting on your practically non-existent love life. “And honestly, I think I’m already wet enough to welcome you.” You direct your eyes to Ace's intimacy, noticing a voluminous bulge in his underwear, as well as a dark stain on the tip of his cock protruding forward. "Do you have a condom?"

“Look, married people don’t use condoms.” He mocked with a stupid little smile.

Shit.

“Seriously, I always told myself I would never do this without a condom.” You laughed, disbelieving that you would end up breaking the only rule you had made when you had your first time. However, even more disbelieved given how much you trusted Ace to give in so easily without even thinking twice.

“Does that mean?” Ace inquires expectantly.

You respond to him with actions, lying back on the bed and vulgarly opening your legs, exposing your intimate area with the clear intention of someone waiting to be fucked.

Trappola swallows hard, feeling his cock throb at how beautifully erotic you were as you so willingly gave yourself to him. Even kneeling on the bed, Ace is quick, practically euphoric in getting rid of the only piece of clothing that prevented him from fucking you. The redhead positions himself above you and places one hand on your hip, while the other is responsible for guiding his own cock towards your slippery hole.

“Can I?” Ace checks before taking any action, although his breathing was clearly heavy, yearning to fuck you.

"Yes." You say a little shyly, even though your actions so far have been quite naughty.

With the confirmation Ace needed, he slowly pushes his erect member inside you, sighing in delight at finally being able to feel your warm, velvety walls wrapped around his cock.

On the other hand, the sensation was a little strange at first, until it became painful as Trappola advanced further inside, breaking your hymen and then filling you with his cock. The length of Ace's member inside your vaginal canal was more than acceptable, but you squeeze the bed sheets between your fingers and let out a low moan of pain.

"You are incredible." Ace comments with restrained euphoria, marveling at having you all to himself. However, upon noticing his expression of pain, he asks worriedly. “Does it hurt?”

"A little." You shift uncomfortably in bed. “But you can continue.” You calm down with a sweet smile on your lips, not minding being a little hasty even after having graduated from your virginity literally seconds ago. You hands circle around the redhead's neck again and bring him for you lips touch his in a warm kiss.

He reciprocates immediately, but it doesn't take long for Ace to pull away from your mouth and decide it's time to move after feeling his cock throb in excitement, practically begging to be moved and finally fuck you rough.

The redhead moves his hips away a little, enough so that half of his rigid penis remains outside your gummy walls, then returns entirely inside you with a hard thrust all the way to the bottom. Ace lets out a heavy sigh as soon as he receives a delicious grip around his member, intensely loving that pleasurable sensation of a young pussy like yours.

However, this action was responsible for causing you to gasp in pain, but unlike the first time it was completely ignored by Ace, as he no longer cared about trying to be gentle after you yourself approved that he continued to fuck you.

Addicted to getting more of those delicious squeezes, Ace successively starts to do the same actions mentioned above, but in a slower back and forth so that he doesn't reach orgasm so soon. After all, he didn't imagine that you virgin pussy would be so hot.

You periodically continue to let out one or another moan of pain, without having yet been able to feel any trace of pleasure in it, although it is no longer as agonizing as it was at first. Trying to feel as good as Ace felt when he fucked you, you take one of your hands towards your clitoris, rubbing it with your index and middle fingers. A sigh of relief leaves your mouth as spikes of delight begin to circulate through your body even in the midst of the feeling of agony.

“Still bothered?” Ace laughs softly when he realizes what was happening and removes his hand so he can take care of the situation himself, too proud to let you pleasure yourself. “Let me do this for you.” He asks, at the same time that Ace's thumb touches your sensitive spot, making rotating movements with a fixation much greater than you could alone.

“Oh!” You exclaim not only in surprise, but also in jubilation. Touching herself felt good, but being touched by someone else felt even better, bringing her a never-before-felt feeling of ecstasy.

The older man bends down a little and dips his face into the side of your neck, licking and leaving marks of love on your previously immaculate skin. A heavy sigh escapes your lips and your previously rigid body begins to relax on the bed as Ace continues to stimulate you in different ways. His dick inside you wasn't so bad anymore, starting to become less strange and more dizzying.

“Ace, this feels so good.” You say with a ragged breath, enchanted by how sex could be something wonderful and addictive. You didn't regret giving your virginity to Trappola one bit.

“I feel good too.” Ace whispers close to your ear, before gently biting your earlobe in teasing. A pleasant shiver runs through your body through this action and you reciprocate by biting his neck gently, weak enough to not leave marks. You wouldn't be stupid enough to do that when Ace was still married. “Oh, how cute.” He comments with a wicked laugh and you are indignant, taking revenge on him by putting a little more pressure against the redhead's skin, consequently hearing him moan in pain. “I take back what I said.”

You both laugh through sex, captivated by each other. However, Ace breaks the romantic mood by pulling away and removing his still hard penis from inside you. A groan leaves your lips, dissatisfied by the sudden absence of your intimacy.

“It’s okay, I won’t stop.” Ace soothes by kissing the top of his head. “But wouldn’t you like to try other positions?” He suggests, but before you can say anything, Trappola easily handles your body that had been claimed by himself, placing you on your side and positioning himself behind you, resulting in the redhead's penis touching the soft and warm skin of your buttock. Ace appreciates the slightest touch, letting out a sigh and feeling terribly tempted to give you a bite in that area, but deciding to leave that for another time. “What do you think?” He asks, his nose pressed into the crook of your neck.

“As long as it’s good…” You mutter without having an opinion of your own due to a complete lack of experience.

Ace slowly passes his hand down the length of your incredibly hot body, starting at your shoulder, sliding down your waist, feeling your hip and hovering over your thigh, lifting the latter without the slightest difficulty so that he could have better access to your hole and thus calm down his greedy hormones.

You were so deliciously wet, that Ace's member practically slid inside, being immediately massaged by your pussy that already responded to his thrust. Feeling like that, stretching and welcoming him as if Ace's member was already a natural part of your body, was like pouring gasoline on a fire.

It was inevitable. He felt the need to move quickly inside. And with a powerful thrust of his hips, the redhead delighted in feeling the limits of his tight intimacy, at the same time as he was gifted with a heavy moan from you, which only served to elevate his ego even more.

Ace's other free hand reached under your body to return to the work from before, which involved stimulating your sensitive clit. He started to move his hips faster, making a complete mess of you and eliciting several moans. However, if you continued moaning so sweetly for him, the redhead wouldn't be able to last two minutes in the paradise he was in.

Even though he wanted to prolong the fuck he was having, Trappola's body no longer seemed to obey his wishes due to the pleasure that had accumulated in his cock. Fortunately, you don't seem too far from that.

“Y/n!” Ace pants your name and closes his eyes, letting his seed fill your previously virgin hole with hot steady streams.

You come soon after, letting out a sharp scream as your pussy milks him with constant squeezes until the last drop fills you.

When Ace's pleasure is finally released inside you, your body becomes completely limp and your breathing is labored.

The redhead rested your leg on the bed and with the hand that was previously holding it he began to caress and eventually squeeze your buttocks, admiring the sperm that dripped from your pussy and slid down your thighs. Ace had come in very large amounts, pleased that you took all of him

“You were amazing.” Ace praised sincerely, placing an affectionate kiss on her reddened cheek. It was actually funny of him to say that, after all, you did absolutely nothing during sex.

“I hope your wife has some birth control.” You murmured as you recovered from your orgasmic high.

“She can’t get pregnant anymore.” He lets out a muffled laugh against your neck.

“Urgh.” An annoyed grumble leaves his lips.

You would have to buy contraceptives the next day or Alice would end up getting a new baby brother.

[…]

You left minutes after sex.

Although Ace insisted that you spend the night with him, you couldn't because of your parents. They wouldn't be stupid enough to believe any excuse you came up with to stay at the redhead's house all night, especially when your house was literally opposite his. At least you already had an excuse ready for his delay, saying that Trappola had arrived late from work, which actually happened.

Oh, yes. You also stole that doll from hell.

Although he felt sorry for knowing that Alice would be sad to wake up and no longer find her new toy, it was still better than leaving a seemingly cursed doll in her arms.

You burned her the next day and the doll no longer made a sound.

Thank you for reading this far! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

See you soon.

[saiscribbles]

Well at least she's not calling me an "it" today. But Lily, ahem:

My theory that Lily doesn't even fully watch things she likes increases. I mean she admitted in her video on this very anime that she thinks you can "skip 7 episodes and miss nothing" in most current animated shows. Explains alot.

Not to mention Falin and Marcille are adults and the girls in A Place Further than the Universe are 16 and its constantly emphasized that they're joshi kosei/high school girls.

"SECRETLY"!? 🤣

Lily I already know you never watched Utena. You went from "I watched this when I was a kid I can't watch this anymore it's too gratuitous" in the anime ranking video, to "Becky Surcrose didn't get Utena because here's a completely wrong interpretation" in your 2023 Steven Universe video. To saying recently you don't need to watch "30 episodes of a black woman of color be put through the absolute wringer":

To then saying you give it a B ranking on your anime tier list.

To then saying I'm creepy for liking it because Anthy is "enslaved by her brother".

And that was because I said your boring Antarctica show is badly written and the kind of anime starring ditzy moeblob teenage girls that are designed to appeal to men. Which I ironically supported more than you did pirating it by watching it on Crunchyroll.

Just give it up, you never fucking watched Utena and you couldn't hope to understand it even if you did.

Though I suppose if you simply stopped talking about shit you don't understand you'd have to stop making videos entirely.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Harry Potter and PTSD

I think no one would argue Harry Potter isn't traumatized, but I actually wanted to go through PTSD symptoms and find evidence of them in book quotes. It's mostly as a fun, little exercise (the word fun is debatable here, it made me quite sad, actually) as I'm not a licensed therapist, and I have no qualifications to diagnose anyone with anything. But I wanted to take a look at some of how Harry's trauma manifests especially in the final 3 books as the signs of PTSD are most obvious and glaring after Voldemort's resurrection and get worse after Sirius' death.

(As the title and first paragraphs suggest, this post isn't a happy one, so beware. I will be discussing symptoms of trauma as shown in the HP books)

I will be using adult PTSD symptoms since:

Older children and teens usually show symptoms more like those seen in adults. They also may develop disruptive, disrespectful, or destructive behaviors. Older children and teens may feel guilt over not preventing injury or death, or have thoughts of revenge.

(Source)

All further quotes regarding PTSD and its symptoms and how they might show were taken from the same website linked above.

To be diagnosed with PTSD, an adult must have all of the following for at least 1 month: * At least one re-experiencing symptom * At least one avoidance symptom * At least two arousal and reactivity symptoms * At least two cognition and mood symptoms

So, let's get straight into it and go into the diagnosis categories:

Re-experiencing symptoms

* Flashbacks—reliving the traumatic event, including physical symptoms, such as a racing heart or sweating * Recurring memories or dreams related to the event * Distressing thoughts * Physical signs of stress Thoughts and feelings can trigger these symptoms, as can words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event.

Harry definitely suffers from nightmares post-Voldemort's-resurrection, and memories coming back about it:

Had they all forgotten what he had done? Hadn’t it been he who had entered that graveyard and watched Cedric being murdered and been tied to that tombstone and nearly killed ... ? Don’t think about that, Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer. It was bad enough that he kept revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares, without dwelling on it in his waking moments too.

(OotP)

In the meantime, he had nothing to look forward to but another restless, disturbed night, because even when he escaped nightmares about Cedric he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when he was awake.

(OotP)

And it continues even months later, he's still dreaming about the graveyard:

He was not going to share his dreams with anyone. He knew perfectly well what his regular nightmare about a graveyard meant, he did not need Ron or Professor Trelawney or the stupid Dream Oracle to tell him that...

(OotP)

Distressing thoughts are par for the course for Harry, but I'll bring up some examples:

And Harry saw very clearly as he sat there under the hot sun how people who cared about him had stood in front of him one by one, his mother, his father, his godfather, and finally Dumbledore, all determined to protect him; but now that was over. He could not let anybody else stand between him and Voldemort; he must abandon forever the illusion he ought to have lost at the age of one, that the shelter of a parent’s arms meant that nothing could hurt him.

(HBP)

He feels responsible for all of their deaths even though they are all adults who chose to be there and protect him. Harry still feels guilt and responsibility over them, even when it isn't his fault, and he shouldn't feel responsible for those who stood between him and Voldemort.

While Harry shows physical signs of stress (such as a racing heart or sweating), They are shown in actual moments of stress where any human would be stressed, so I don't count them here since they are not an immediate result of trauma.

Regardless, I'd say he does have relieving symptoms. Recurring dreams, thoughts, and a sense of guilt are all present.

Avoidance symptoms

* Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience * Avoiding thoughts or feelings related to the traumatic event Avoidance symptoms may cause people to change their routines. For example, some people may avoid driving or riding in a car after a serious car accident.

Harry doesn't actually have the luxury to really avoid anything (poor boy) but he does avoid talking about his dreams of the graveyard, as mentioned in the quote in the Re-experiencing section. He doesn't tell anyone, not even Ron or Hermione about his nightmares. Neither does he want to talk about Cedric. He doesn't even want to think about the graveyard and Cedric as mentioned in one of the above quotes:

Had they all forgotten what he had done? Hadn’t it been he who had entered that graveyard and watched Cedric being murdered and been tied to that tombstone and nearly killed ... ? Don’t think about that, Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer.

(OotP)

Even though Cho keeps bringing Cedric up to process her own experience, Harry does not want to talk or think about him and what happened at the graveyard.

She shook her head and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I’m — sorry,” she said thickly. “I suppose ... it’s just ... learning all this stuff... It just makes me ... wonder whether ... if he’d known it all ... he’d still be alive...” Harry’s heart sank right back past its usual spot and settled somewhere around his navel. He ought to have known. She wanted to talk about Cedric.

(OotP)

“I came in here with Cedric last year,” said Cho. In the second or so it took for him to take in what she had said, Harry’s insides had become glacial. He could not believe she wanted to talk about Cedric now, while kissing couples surrounded them and a cherub floated over their heads.

(OotP)

Zacharias said dismissively, “All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory got killed by You- Know-Who and that you brought Diggory’s body back to Hogwarts. He didn’t give us details, he didn’t tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we’d all like to know — ” “If you’ve come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone I can’t help you,” Harry said. His temper, always so close to the surface these days, was rising again. He did not take his eyes from Zacharias Smith’s aggressive face, determined not to look at Cho. “I don’t want to talk about Cedric Diggory, all right? So if that’s what you’re here for, you might as well clear out.”

(OotP)

And when he mentions some of it, he's emotionally overwhelmed and stumbling over his words. He didn't really process everything that happened in the graveyard and he doesn't know how to talk about it:

Ron and Hermione were still smirking and Harry felt his temper rise; he wasn’t even sure why he was feeling so angry. “Don’t sit there grinning like you know better than I do, I was there, wasn’t I?” he said heatedly. “I know what went on, all right? And I didn’t get through any of that because I was brilliant at Defense Against the Dark Arts, I got through it all because — because help came at the right time, or because I guessed right — but I just blundered through it all, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing — STOP LAUGHING!” The bowl of murtlap essence fell to the floor and smashed. He became aware that he was on his feet, though he couldn’t remember standing up. Crookshanks streaked away under a sofa; Ron and Hermione’s smiles had vanished. “You don’t know what it’s like You — neither of you — you’ve never had to face him, have you? You think it’s just memorizing a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you’re in class or something? The whole time you know there’s nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or guts or whatever — like you can think straight when you know you’re about a second from being murdered, or tortured, or watching your friends die — they’ve never taught us that in their classes, what it’s like to deal with things like that — and you two sit there acting like I’m a clever little boy to be standing here, alive, like Diggory was stupid, like he messed up — you just don’t get it, that could just as easily have been me, it would have been if Voldemort hadn’t needed me — ”

(OotP)

He mentions how it isn't easy for him to talk about it when he does his interview for the Quibbler:

Harry had not found it an easy experience to talk about the night when Voldemort had returned. Rita had pressed him for every little detail, and he had given her everything he could remember, knowing that this was his one big opportunity to tell the world the truth. He wondered how people would react to the story. He guessed that it would confirm a lot of people in the view that he was completely insane, not least because his story would be appearing alongside utter rubbish about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks. But the breakout of Bellatrix Lestrange and her fellow Death Eaters had given Harry a burning desire to do something, whether it worked or not...

(OotP)

So, I'd say Harry shows avoidance symptoms in abundance as well.

Arousal and reactivity symptoms

* Being easily startled * Feeling tense, on guard, or on edge * Having difficulty concentrating * Having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep * Feeling irritable and having angry or aggressive outbursts * Engaging in risky, reckless, or destructive behavior Arousal symptoms are often constant. They can lead to feelings of stress and anger and may interfere with parts of daily life, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

"CONSTANT VIGILENCE!" anyone?

But more seriously, Harry is extra vigilant and alert in the final 3 books especially. As mentioned in the above quote with Smith, Harry is more angry in the final 3 books:

“If you’ve come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone I can’t help you,” Harry said. His temper, always so close to the surface these days, was rising again.

(OotP)

His temper, which was always present, got worse after the graveyard. In book 4, Harry holds Ron back from hitting Draco when Draco throws his usual insults:

“You know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry — both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron’s robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy

(GoF)

In book 5, Harry punches Draco himself over similar insults because he's angrier and has less of a handle on his emotions and reactions. He is barely aware of what he's doing:

Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting at Malfoy. He had completely forgotten the fact that all the teachers were watching: All he wanted to do was cause Malfoy as much pain as possible. With no time to draw out his wand, he merely drew back the fist clutching the Snitch and sank it as hard as he could into Malfoy’s stomach —

(OotP)

And in general, Harry is much more on guard:

He raised the cup to his lips and then, just as suddenly, lowered it. One of the horrible painted kittens behind Umbridge had great round blue eyes just like Mad-Eye Moody’s magical one, and it had just occurred to Harry what Mad-Eye would say if he ever heard that Harry had drunk anything offered by a known enemy.

(OotP)

He startles easily and is ready for an attack at all moments:

Dudley lay curled up on the ground, whimpering and shaking. Harry bent down to see whether he was in a fit state to stand up, but then heard loud, running footsteps behind him; instinctively raising his wand again, he spun on his heel to face the newcomer.

(OotP - after the dementor attack)

Malfoy wheeled around, drawing his wand. Instinctively, Harry pulled out his own. Malfoy’s hex missed Harry by inches, shattering the lamp on the wall beside him; Harry threw himself sideways, thought Levicorpus, and flicked his wand, but Malfoy blocked the jinx and raised his wand for another — 

(HBP)

“Pathetic, Weasley,” said Snape, after a while. “Here — let me show you — ” He turned his wand on Harry so fast that Harry reacted instinctively; all thought of nonverbal spells forgotten, he yelled, “Protego!” His Shield Charm was so strong Snape was knocked off-balance and hit a desk. The whole class had looked around and now watched as Snape righted himself, scowling.

(HBP)

By HBP and OotP, Harry is always ready for an attack and he defends himself on instinct. It doesn't matter where he is or what he's doing, fight or flight instincts take over and he's acting. It's always there, under the surface, ready to spring.

After Sirius dies, we also see a change in what Harry keeps to himself and what he says out loud. All his sassiest quotes towards Snape come from after Sirius dies. Harry becomes more reckless with his words (and actions in general). The pain makes him care less about his own life and future:

“What are you doing, Potter?” said Snape coldly as ever, as he strode over to the four of them. “I’m trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir,” said Harry fiercely. Snape stared at him.

(OotP - after Sirius' death)

“Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.” The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying. Several people gasped, including Hermione. Behind Snape, however, Ron, Dean, and Seamus grinned appreciatively.

(HBP - yes, this famous scene is because Harry is depressed)

This is Harry just speaking his mind with complete and utter disregard for the consequences of what comes out of his mouth. This is something we see with him only after Sirius died, as before that, he made an attempt to not anger his professors, even Snape. In the earlier books, Harry is all for de-escalating situations with Snape:

“What on earth were you thinking of?” said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice. Harry looked at Ron, who was still standing with his wand in the air. “You’re lucky you weren’t killed. Why aren’t you in your dormitory?” Snape gave Harry a swift, piercing look. Harry looked at the floor. He wished Ron would put his wand down.

(PS)

“Let’s see,” he said, in his silkiest voice. “Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention each for Potter and Weasley. Now get inside, or it’ll be a week’s worth of detentions.” Harry’s ears were ringing. The injustice of it made him want to curse Snape into a thousand slimy pieces. He passed Snape, walked with Ron to the back of the dungeon, and slammed his bag down onto the table. Ron was shaking with anger too — for a moment, it felt as though everything was back to normal between them, but then Ron turned and sat down with Dean and Seamus instead, leaving Harry alone at his table. On the other side of the dungeon, Malfoy turned his back on Snape and pressed his badge, smirking. POTTER STINKS flashed once more across the room.

(GoF)

Harry may be thinking of wanting to say/do something, but he doesn't, because he has some self-preservation. This self-preservation disappears as the books go along. Harry in the early books is much more concerned for his own well-being than in the later books, and I don't think it's due to bravery or childhood trauma, at least, that isn't all there is. I think it's a reaction to some of his more recent trauma as well. A combination of feeling responsible for everything and thinking it's fine he goes through pain and danger because that's what he should do. In HBP and DH, he repeatedly says how willing he is to endanger himself, but not others. It's why he breaks up with Ginny, it's why he initially doesn't want Ron and Hermione to come with him on the Horcrux hunt. He thinks his own life is worth less. That it isn't so bad if he dies.

So he shows 3 arousal and reactivity symptoms at least.

Cognition and mood symptoms

* Trouble remembering key features of the traumatic event * Negative thoughts about oneself or the world * Exaggerated feelings of blame directed toward oneself or others * Ongoing negative emotions, such as fear, anger, guilt, or shame * Loss of interest in previous activities * Feelings of social isolation * Difficulty feeling positive emotions, such as happiness or satisfaction Cognition and mood symptoms can begin or worsen after the traumatic event. They can lead people to feel detached from friends or family members.

I already mentioned Harry's guilt regarding people "who stood between him and Voldemort". And it's true for this section as well. And I mentioned above how Harry considers his own life as worth less than others, which leads him to be incredibly reckless.

Besides the above two points, Harry also shows clear signs of depressive states:

On the fourth night after Hedwig’s departure Harry was lying in one of his apathetic phases, staring at the ceiling, his exhausted mind quite blank, when his uncle entered his bedroom. Harry looked slowly around at him. Uncle Vernon was wearing his best suit and an expression of enormous smugness.

(OotP)

Harry mentions that after the graveyard in the summer between 4th and 5th year, he starts having what he calls "apathetic phases", in which he just feels too tired to even think, just staring blankly at the ceiling. Him calling it "phases" as in, plural, suggests this is a common occurrence at the Dursleys.

Even later in Deathly Hallows, we see this is something Harry still does. After Ron leaves Harry and Hermione are at their most depressed:

She [Hermione] threw herself into a chair, curled up, and started to cry. Harry felt dazed. He stooped, picked up the Horcrux, and placed it around his own neck. He dragged blankets off Ron’s bunk and threw them over Hermione. Then he climbed onto his own bed and stared up at the dark canvas roof, listening to the pounding of the rain.

(DH)

Hermione reacts to her emotions by crying and letting them out, she's processing her emotions in some capacity, as hard as it is. Harry, on the other hand, just gets tired. His mind goes blank and he just stares blankly at the ceiling. Another one of these "apathetic phases". Instead of feeling, he goes numb.

We also see in book 6 how he loses some of his interest in Quidditch. The one pastime that reliably brought him joy, wasn't as important to Harry post Sirius' death. Sure, he was still playing, still interested, but there was none of the joy described previously. He doesn't have the same passion and interest even though he's the captain:

Harry smiled back vaguely, but as he pulled on his scarlet robes his mind was far from Quidditch. 

(HBP)

“Don’t be stupid,” said Ron sharply. “You couldn’t have missed a Quidditch match just to follow Malfoy, you’re the Captain!”

(HBP)

Some of it is to follow Draco who Harry thinks is a Death Eater, sure, but Harry in 4th year would not have acted the same. He wouldn't have let it make him miss a game, he wouldn't have even considered it.

In Deathly Hallows we also see Harry struggling with happiness in many ways. Yes, the situation is bad, but he is so incredibly affected by it, and I do want to mention that:

But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing. And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.

(DH)

This above quote makes me so sad whenever I read it, and I do want to mention it here. Like, Harry isn't actively suicidal, but he's in a lot of pain that he wants to stop. These negative thoughts are practically a constant in DH even when he isn't wearing the Horcrux.

A hundred dementors were advancing, gliding toward them, sucking their way closer to Harry’s despair, which was like a promise of a feast. ... He saw Ron’s silver terrier burst into the air, flicker feebly, and expire; he saw Hermione’s otter twist in midair and fade; and his own wand trembled in his hand, and he almost welcomed the oncoming oblivion, the promise of nothing, of no feeling. . . .

(DH)

Harry is the character with the most reliable Patronus, but even for him at some point, it's too much and he struggles with it. Struggles to bring up the happiness he needs for a Patronus. The happiness part is what he always struggled with most when it came to this spell, after all:

“No!” said Harry. He got up again. “I’ll have one more go! I’m not thinking of happy enough things, that’s what it is. ... Hang on. ...” He racked his brains. A really, really happy memory . . . one that he could turn into a good, strong Patronus ...

(PoA)

So, I'd say he shows at least 4 cognitive and mood symptoms.

Conclusions

Someone get this boy a hug and therapy, I really don't have much more to say.

I started writing this post to see if I could find evidence of PTSD symptoms in the books, and I searched and found so many that it just made me sad. So, yes, Harry obviously deals with untreated PTSD he has no idea how to regulate in the final 3 books and I think his readiness to walk towards his own demise is influenced by it.

[resident-gay-bitch]

🐈‍⬛ Trick or Treat 🐈‍⬛

Little Steddie + Stobin meet cute; Eddie and Robin decide they must take Steve trick-or-treating, and they absolutely must make him their friend (a really special friend in Eddie's case) - fluffy! (5.5 k words)

This was all inspired by this tweet. It was so heartbreaking and upsetting I just had to fix it :)

🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃

Steve hasn’t celebrated Halloween since he was five. Not properly, anyway. Hasn't dressed up, or gone trick or treating even once since then. And he’s ten now, almost eleven. 

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he misses going trick or treating. His mummy used to take him, until she stopped being home as much, and his babysitters could never be bothered. 

He used to love dressing up, it was his favorite part. Liked to talk to the other kids in the street and play spooky games. But he’ll probably never do that again. 

It’s probably stupid anyway. Steve’s double digits now, and his dad says that makes him a man, and men aren’t supposed to get sad about stupid things like Halloween. 

Besides, his mum says candy’s bad for him. It will make his teeth fall out and his tummy fat, and his mum really hates that stuff. 

Steve’s grown up knowing to always believe her, but he sees kids at school eating candy all the time, and they still have all their teeth and aren’t fat. Even his teacher eats candy, and offers a bowl of it around every holiday. 

But Steve never eats it. His mom will be upset with him if she finds out. 

But Steve’s a big boy, he can handle himself now. He’s got a bowl of sweets sitting by the door, eyeing him off and he’s trying his best not to eat one, because it’s for the trick or treaters. 

The little kids, the ones his age, the older ones, and even some parents. 

Steve pretends he’s not disappointed when they show off their awesome costumes that their moms made for them. He pretends he’s fine, he’s becoming a man, he shouldn’t care about kid things like Halloween. 

He gets up when there’s another knock on the door, what feels like the millionth one of the night, and finds three people waiting there all dressed in cool costumes. 

There’s a girl with freckles, short brown hair, and she’s done it all messy, dressed up like a scarecrow with a glowing lightbulb on the top of her head. She looks awesome, even has makeup on her face and real pieces of straw sticking out in random places. 

There’s a boy beside her, with big brown eyes sweet like the chocolate Steve’s giving out, with long hair like a mane with golden shimmers of tinsel through it. He’s dressed like a lion, a showy badge on his chest, and he roared when Steve opened the door. 

Behind them is an adult, probably their dad or something, dressed in grey with silver all over him, a funnel wrapped in foil on his head, a big red heart stitched into his shirt, and he’s holding a lead that’s got a little black cat on the end of it, with bows around its collar. 

They’re dressed as The Wizard Of Oz, Steve thinks, and they look awesome. Steve wishes he had friends or family to go trick or treating with. All he’s got is Mrs. Delores, from across the street to look after him tonight, and she’s been asleep on the couch since five o’clock. She’d never take him anyway, says Halloween is for the energised, whatever that means. 

“Cool costumes!” Steve says, puts on the brightest smile he can muster, just like his mom taught him. He grabs the candy bowl and holds it out for them to stuff their pillow cases with, “I love Wizard Of Oz— isn’t Toto a dog though?” 

“Yeah, but Eddie only has a cat.” The girl answers as the boy digs through the bowl, clearly looking for something specific, “I think she’s crazy enough to be a dog though! Makes the funniest noises ever.”

“Yeah, she’s the funniest.” The lion boy giggles, waggles the Milky Way he found in the air, “She’s crazy too, I found her by the quarry one day, and Wayne said I can keep her.”

Steve thinks the tin man is Wayne, gives the man a smile and offers the candy bowl to him, which he politely declines. 

“That’s cool, I’m not allowed pets. Especially strays, mom says they’re filthy.” 

“Cthulhu is filthy, but she doesn’t stink more than Eddie!” The girl teases, already eating a caramel treat, chocolate all over her mouth. 

Eddie punches her in the arm hard, “I don’t stink! Cthulhu is the best kitty in the world.” He bends down, picking the cat up under the arms and snuggling her, and she hisses and squeaks at him, “Aren’t you Cthulhu? You’re the best kitty cat in the world.” 

Cthulhu meows and puts her paw on Eddie’s face, and Steve laughs. He’s always wanted a pet, loves them so much. He Loves all animals. 

“Can I pet her?”

Eddie looks up at him from his snuggle with Cthulhu and arches his eyebrow, “Perhaps.” 

“Oh, lord.” The man mutters to himself behind them, and it seems like maybe Steve shouldn’t have asked. 

“Eddie’s very protective of Cthulhu because she’s a scared cat. She was really sick when we found her! So small you could see her ribs, it was so sad!” The girl informs him, very eager to teach, “She’s just a poor little kitty, and only loves me and Eddie and Wayne and no one else.” 

“It’s true, she bites people you know? If they get too close.” Eddie says ominously, holding onto Cthulhu like she’s a precious treasure that Steve is trying to steal, “One time Nash from across the trailer park tried to feed her tuna and she bit a chunk out of his hand! It was so funny, there was blood everywhere. He screamed so loud, the stupid fuck-“

“Language.” The man said, glaring at Eddie. 

“Uh, I mean, the stupid wimp.” 

“It’s true, did you know?” The girl nodded as she spoke, nodded so much Steve thought her head would fall off, “We hate Nash, he’s so mean.” 

“I would maybe let you pet her, if she likes you, which she probably won’t because she doesn’t like anyone except for us.” Eddie said, scratching Cthulhu behind the ear to make her purr, giving her little kisses to make her smile, “But, you must also pass the test.”

“What test?” Steve asked, curious now. He’d really like to pet Cthulhu, if she’d let him. 

“First, you have to swear to never, ever be mean to an animal ever.” The girl said. 

Then dramatically, Eddie added in, “Second, you have to swear allegiance to Robin and I forever and ever, which also means you swear allegiance to all underdogs by proxy-“

“I don’t know what any of that means.” Steve mutters, ashamed of himself. He’s been doing really bad at school lately, he knows he’s dumb, his dad tells him all the time. 

“Ed, remember not everyone reads Tolkien by the time they’re eight.” 

“Right.” Eddie nods, smiles up at Steve, “Uh, it means you have to swear to at least be nice to us always, like, friendly! No bullying us or being rude or anything. And also the same goes for every nerd or weird kid.” 

“Yeah, you can’t be mean to weird kids ever.” 

“Are you weird kids?” Steve asked, looking them over. He doesn’t think they’re weird, he thinks they’re cool, they have the coolest costumes he’s seen all night, they put a lot of effort into them. 

“The weirdest ever, actually.” Eddie states, nodding like he’s proud of it. 

Robin, the girl, nods in agreement. 

“Okay.” Steve shrugs, “I don’t care if people are weird, you have cool costumes.” 

“That’s really nice, thanks!” Robin says, but Eddie gives him a funny look. 

“Where’s your costume? And why aren’t you trick or treating? Are you sick or something?”

“Uhm, I just don’t want to.” Steve lies, he feels stupid because he wants to cry. 

“Oh, okay, weird.” Eddie says and stands again, keeps Cthulhu in his arms and Robin leans over to pet her too, “The third rule is that you have to give us an extra candy bar-“

“That’s not one of the rules?” Robin intervenes, clearly confused by this, which Steve finds funny. 

“Shh!” Eddie hisses, “Come on, it’s Halloween, it’s a special extra holiday rule.” 

“I don’t think that’s fair.”

“It’s just one extra candy bar. Besides, would you prefer stupid Jason come by and steal an extra one like he did at the last house?” 

“No.” Robin admits and turns to Steve, “Okay, yeah, an extra candy bar.” 

“And also, the last rule is-“

“You have to stand on one foot and hop on the spot and sing Soft Kitty!” 

“Hey, I wanted to say that part.” Eddie groans at her. 

“You always say that part.” Robin bickers back, and Eddie starts to sulk. 

Steve wishes he had friends like that. 

“Do you agree with the rules?” Robin asks, and Steve nods. 

“Sure.” He says. 

“Okay, fine.” Eddie said, snapping out of his hunch to grin at Steve again, “But don’t be offended if she doesn’t like you. She hates everyone. She was even scared of us for the first few days!” 

“Yeah, it’s true.” Robin agrees, watching Eddie set Cthulhu down, taking the leash from the older man, “She’s such a poor little kitty. Eddie, show him the scars you have! I can’t or it will stuff up my costume.” 

“Oh, yeah!” Eddie grins, shoving the sleeves up his arms to reveal an array of tiny bites and scratches, “Gnarly, huh?”

“I thought he had rabies! I was so scared, but it’s okay, we all got a rabies shot.” 

“Yeah, I almost passed out, I hate needles.” 

“It was really funny, the nurses had to give him three lollipops to stop him crying-“

“Hey! Don’t tell him that, he won’t think I’m cool.” Eddie punches her again. Robin punches him back. 

“He probably already thinks you’re not cool, Eddie. Everyone thinks you’re not cool, and he’s rich.” 

“Oh, yeah.” Eddie mutters, shrugs like he no longer cares, loosens Cthulhu’s lead a little, “Anyway, just don’t take it personally if she tries to kill you or anything, she especially doesn’t like mean people or rich people. She only likes freaks and weirdos I think, ‘cause we’re like her, you know? She’s a good cat like that. So yeah, just don’t like, get upset if she hates—“

They all stop and stare when Cthulhu wanders over the threshold to Steve’s house, looking up at him with her tail in the air as she goes. She walks right up to Steve, rubs her face against his shin and weaves between his legs, stretching out and laying on his fluffy slipperd feet. 

Behind them, the older man snickers, and Eddie glares back at him. 

He takes a few steps away to catch his breath as he laughs, muttering as he goes, “Spoke too soon, boy, what’d I tell ya?” 

Eddie growls and looks back at Cthulhu like she’s betrayed him. Robin is just smiling, which is nice, she has a very happy smile. 

“I think she likes him, Eddie.” Robin says, and Eddie growls again. 

“So, can I pet her?” Steve asks.

“You have to do the ritual.” Eddie says with sass, like it’s a challenge, like Steve won’t do it, “Swear kindness to all animals.” 

“Obviously, I love animals.” Steve said with a frown. 

“That one’s easy, you’d be a total psycho if you didn’t!” 

“Okay, swear you’ll never be mean to an outcast or a weirdo.” Robin said. 

“Okay— but what about if a weirdo is mean to me first? Can I be mean back?” He asked, because the rules seemed a little biassed. 

“Eh, makes sense.” Robin nodded, “What do you think, Eddie?” 

“I agree. Not like a weirdo would ever be mean to a rich kid.” He said, shrugging. 

Steve arched his eyebrow at the boy, put his hands on his hips unimpressed, “I swear it, idiot.” 

“Hey, you can’t—“

“You said I can, if you’re mean first.” 

“I’m not— Wayne! Stop laughing at me!” Eddie huffed back at the man, facing Steve again, he said, “I’m not mean to you.” 

“You are. You said Cthulhu would probably hate me cause I’m rich. I’m not even rich, I just live here.” 

Beside him, Robin nodded, “You are kinda mean sometimes, Eddie.” 

Eddie looked like a fish out of water. The old man was still laughing, hunched over from it now. 

“We can call it even, if you’re nice to me from now on.” Steve states, holding out his hand in an offer. 

Eddie looks at his hand and considers it, looks back at Steve and sighs, “I’m sorry, okay, you're right. We can call it even.” 

Steve smiles and solidifies the shake, wondering why his stomach goes all fluttery. 

“Three!” Robin interrupts, literally leaning over to get between them, “Extra candy bar.” 

Steve smiles and lets them both have at it again, holding it steady as they aggressively rifle through the bowl in hunt of their desired treasure. Robin eats half of hers again when she gets it, drops the other half in her pillow case. 

“And the dance!” Eddie chimes in, carefully placing his sweet in the sack, “For a whole minute.” 

“How am I supposed to hop on one foot when Cthulhu is laying on my slippers?” 

“Uh, that’s a good point, Eddie. You know Cthulhu hates being disturbed.” Robin whispers, like she’s scared she’ll suddenly wake the sleeping kitty. 

Eddie pouts, looking down at the animal to come up with an answer. It takes him a while. Steve comes up with one first. 

He grabs the bowl of sweets again and dumps half in Robin's sack, and the other half in Eddie’s. A trade, extra candy so he doesn’t have to do the dance. 

“Awesome!” Robin grins, beaming down at her loot. 

“What about your leftovers?” Eddie asks, looking sadly at the big empty bowl, “You won’t have any leftovers! And you’re not trick or treating, so how would you get chocolate?” 

“It’s okay, mom doesn’t really like when I eat chocolate. Says it will make my teeth fall out—“

“Ah! Is that true?” Robin asks, her mouth full of melted chocolate again. She looks back at the man in fear, “Wayne! Are my teeth gonna fall out?”

“No.” He says, stern and sharp, “My mama used to tell me the same thing. You’re supposed to have treats, you’re a kid.” 

Oh, Steve thinks to himself, he’s a kid. 

“Oh, thank goodness.” Robin huffs and keeps munching away. 

“Here.” Eddie smiles, and he’s got a handful of candy bars taken from his pillow case, holding them out to Steve, “You deserve some chocolate too!” 

Steve blushes and takes the sweets, can’t find the Strength to protest when he really, really wants it. He stashes them in his pockets and tells himself not to forget about them. 

“Do you want some more?” Eddie asks, “I know how it feels to have no candy on Halloween, it sucks. I never got to trick-or-treat when I was little, my dad couldn’t be bothered and my mama was always sick.”

Steve frowns, looks at the boy and doesn’t even get another word in before Eddie’s reaching over and stuffing another handful of chocolate into Steve’s other pocket. He gives it a firm pat, stands up straight again, and smiles. 

Steve doesn’t know what to do. 

He thinks he’d like to be friends with these kids. 

“Can I pet your cat now?” He asks, too scared to say anything else. His dad says he’s too much of a wimp these days, and needs to man up. 

“Of course.” Eddie smiles, nods his head. 

Steve crouches down, careful not to move his feet and disturb the kitty, and he strokes from her head down her back until she purrs. She purrs so much her whole body starts to vibrate, it makes the three of them laugh. 

“She’s so cute, huh?” Robin asks, crouched down too to watch. 

“She’s the best kitty cat ever.” Eddie agrees, reaching to scratch under her chin with a finger, and Cthulhu smiles and tries to bite his finger, “No silly! I’m not a Halloween candy.” 

“She’s so soft.” Steve muses, can’t stop petting her, “She’s so cute.” 

“Super cute.” 

“The cutest!” Robin shouts, slaps a hand over her mouth when she realises how loud she was. 

“I wish I had a cat.” Steve sighs. 

“You can visit her sometimes, if you like?” Eddie asks, his cheeks all red for some reason, “Wayne doesn’t mind if I have friends at the trailer, and it would be mean to keep Cthulhu from her new best friend.” 

“You mean it?” Steve asks, feels himself smiling so wide his cheeks get warm, “For real?” 

“Yeah.” Eddie nods, gets very nervous when he says, “And… and maybe we could play, or something?” 

Steve nods his head, he hasn’t had a friend to play with since Tommy decided they were too cool for make believe, “Yes please.”

“You probably won’t want to if you’re cool and not a weirdo.” Robin says, doesn’t even look up as she speaks, too busy petting Cthulhu, “Eddie likes weird games, he always makes me be the dragon he has to fight and slay.” 

“I thought you liked being the dragon? You make such good dragon noises.” 

“Of course I do.” Robin huffs, looking over at him, “But he might not like being a dragon.” 

“Well he wouldn’t be the dragon, ‘cause you’re always the dragon.”

“We’ll, maybe he won’t want to be the knight either!” 

“I’m always the knight.” Eddie huffed and turned to Steve, wearing a very determined glare, “What do you want to be when we play fantasy? You could be the horse, but that’s probably boring. Or I suppose you could be the princess I rescue, because Cthulhu is always the princess. You can’t be the evil troll because Wayne’s really good at being grumpy. Or you can be something new if you like?” 

“I can be anything.” Steve shrugged, “I’ve never played fantasy before. It sounds fun.” 

“It’s so fun!” Robin grinned, “Maybe you could be the prince and Eddie can rescue you too!” 

“I’m really good at rescuing.” Eddie stated. 

“Okay.” Steve smiled, “Whatever you guys want.” He says, because he’s excited enough they want him there at all, he would play the tree if they wanted. 

“Cool.” Eddie grinned, totally delighted by this. 

“Thanks for letting me pet your cat.” Steve said, knowing he shouldn’t keep them any longer. They have more trick-or-treating to get too, and the man taking them is probably bored. “I think your costumes are really cool and creative.” 

“Thanks, we made them ourselves, Eddie’s really good at sewing and painting!” Robin grinned. 

“Well, Wayne had to help with the sewing machine. And Robin did all the decorations.” 

“That’s so cool.” Steve grinned, the words toppling out of his mouth before he could stop himself, “I wish I knew how to make costumes, my mom never makes me costumes, I miss trick-or-treating.” 

“I thought you said you didn’t feel like it?” Robin asked, and Steve stared at her, caught red. 

“Why doesn’t your mom make your costumes?” Eddie asked, looking so terribly sad about it, “Why don’t you go trick-or-treating? Is your mummy sick too?” 

Embarrassed, Steve shook his head, eyes averted to the ground as he shamefully admitted, “My parents don’t really care about this stuff, they say it’s for kids, and it’s silly. They’re never home anyway.” 

“But you are a kid.” Robin says, confused. 

Steve feels that harshly for the second time tonight. 

“I think your parents are stupid.” Eddie says flatly, and Steve thinks he’s awesome. 

“Eddie!” The older man snaps from behind, “That’s not very nice now, come on.” 

“But it’s true.” Eddie huffs, “Your parents sound like they suck. My dad sucked too. He’s in prison, you know, cause he sucks.” 

“Eddie really doesn’t like his dad.” Robin said, still crouched down to pet Cthulhu, not looking up at them as she spoke. 

Quietly, for the first time ever, Steve admitted something back, “I don’t like my dad either.” 

Eddie smiled at him, held up his hand in this strange symbol, his pinky and pointer finger extended whilst the others were folded. 

“What’s that?” 

“Metal.” Eddie said, a cool smile as he nodded. And Steve had no idea what metal means, but he makes the symbol back and smiles, because Eddie seems to think it’s cool, so it must be. 

“Cool.” 

“Do you want to come trick or treating with us?” He asks, and Steve thinks yes, but holds himself back. 

“Oh, yeah, please come!” Robin grins, up and jumping on the spot now. 

“We don’t even have a Dorothy.” Eddie says, “We don’t even have the main character!” 

“I told you to be Dorothy.” Robin tells him, “You have the perfect hair for it.” 

“Yeah, but I wanted to wear my lion costume again. It saved more time! We had to spend all our time making your costume!” 

Robin shrugged and looked back at Steve, “Do you wanna be Dorothy?” 

“Isn’t she a girl?” 

“So.” Eddie shrugged, “I think Toto’s a boy, and Cthulhu is pretending to be him— and Robins being a boy scarecrow. It’s just a costume.” 

“But she wears a dress. I don’t have a dress.” 

“You can be a boy Dorothy if you like?” Robin answers. 

“Or, you can be a girl Dorothy in pants.” Eddie adds on, “And I’m really good at making costumes, I bet I can help you come up with something cool. And then you can walk Cthulhu all night if you like, ‘cause Toto is Dorothy’s pet!” 

Steve does like the sound of going trick-or-treating with these guys. And he really likes the sound of hanging out with Cthulhu all night, she’s such a cute kitty, still sleeping on his slippers. 

Steve worries his lip and looks at the old man past them, wondering if he’ll tell Steve to stay home for wanting to dress up like a girl. 

“You’re welcome to join if you want, kid, I’ll just need to talk to whoever’s lookin’ after ya.” 

Steve is sort of scared to wake Mrs. Deloris, she’s a real hag when she’s grumpy. 

But, he’d like to go trick-or-treating even more. And this might be his only ever chance. 

”I’d really like to.” Steve says, and the three of them seem happy with his answer. 

Eddie dives down and grabs Cthulhu so Steve can move, which is a big mistake because she starts hissing and trying to scratch Eddie’s face, and he screams, the old man and Robin have to intervene. 

Steve rushes over to Mrs. Delores to wake her with a fright, and he tells her his plans, doesn’t ask, and she gets up in a grump to go talk to the man at the door. 

When Steve makes it back to them, Eddie’s got a bloody scratch on his cheek, but he doesn’t seem to mind it, he’s still holding Cthulhu as she naps in his arms, and he kisses her between the ears adoringly. 

“I wouldn’t know how to make a Dorothy costume.” Steve says, and this seems to excite Eddie and Robin. 

“Can we come in? We’ll help!” Eddie asks. 

“And your house is so big.” Robin wonders, leaning forward to inspect the inside, “I’ve never been in a house this big before.” 

“Me either.” Eddie muses, “Do you have a hot tub?”

Steve leads them inside, and up the stairs, “No, but I have a pool.” 

“Cool!” Eddie grins. 

“Do you have a cinema?” 

“No.” Steve giggles, “Of course not.” 

“Do you have two bathrooms?” Eddie asks.

Steve furrows his brow at the weird question, “Uh, yeah— or three if you count the extra toilet.”

“Woah!” The two say in unison, their eyes wandering around Steve’s house as they walk. 

“That’s so cool.” Eddie says.

“I’ve always wanted two bathrooms. My dad gets pee all over the toilet seat, and me and mom hate it.” Robin adds, and Steve decides to laugh, because Eddie is. 

He thought everyone had two bathrooms. He’s never shared one with his parents. That seems so strange. He’s not even allowed in his parents bathroom, they get so mad at him if he goes in there. 

He leads the pair into his bedroom and they go right for his wardrobe, diving right in without asking. Not that Steve cares, he thinks they’re so nice, and he’s excited to have more friends. 

They’re talking amongst themselves, chattering and chattering, agreeing and disagreeing. 

“Would you wear a skirt?” Eddie turns around to ask. 

“I don’t have a skirt.” Steve says back. 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

“I guess.” Steve shrugged, “But it’s too cold for a skirt! It’s windy outside.” 

“He’s got a point.” Robin says, and Eddie nods. 

“Will your dad be mad if we cut up one of his shirts?” 

Steve’s eyes widened, he think his dad would definitely mind. But, he’s not home, won’t be for another week at least. Besides, he might not even notice, if Steve hides the evidence.  

He shakes his head no. 

“Does he have a blue button up?” 

Steve nods, knows he does. He has like, a billion of them. 

He races to go get one, finding one that’s got little blue and white checkers all over it, thinking it would be perfect for Dorothy. When he shows it to Eddie, he’s excited, says it’s perfect. 

Robin hands Steve a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and tells him to change into them whilst they work on the dress. Steve rushes to change in the bathroom, can’t wait, he’s so excited. 

By the time he comes back out, the sleeves of his dads shirt have been cut off, and the collar removed to make straps instead, and Eddie’s making Steve put it on, and it’s long, like a dress. He’s cut one of the sleeves to make a belt, ties it around Steve’s waist with a bow, and Robin ties the other on his head. 

He’s still got his slippers on, which they decide are perfect, because they’re fuzzy red Elmo slippers, just like Dorothy’s shoes. Steve hasn’t felt this cool in a long time, he likes how creative Eddie and Robin are. 

He half expects to be told off when they get back down, yapping away to Cthulhu about the next houses they’re gonna hit, but the old man doesn’t mind that Steve’s in a dress. 

In fact, he compliments him, “Cool costume, looks just like the movie, kid.” He says, waves them all out the door, “Come on, it’s getting late and I have to have you home by ten.” 

“Quick!” Eddie says, putting Cthulhu down and letting Steve take her lead, “We’ve got so many more houses to get to.” 

“Wait! Dorothy doesn’t- wait, what’s your name?” Robin asks, and Steve feels silly for not having introduced himself. 

“Oh, it’s Steve.” He says, walking down the steps, Cthulhu right beside him. 

“That’s cool, I’m Robin, and he’s Eddie.” Robin said, “We’re best friends, we take art class together.” 

“Wow, you do art?” Steve asks, “I like colouring.” 

“Colouring is cool.” Eddie smiled, five steps ahead of everyone else, “I like drawing best. I draw monsters mostly.” 

“They’re so creepy.” Robin giggles, “It’s for his nerd game he likes. Watch out, he’ll probably make you try and play it. It’s so confusing.” 

“It’s not confusing. It’s just roleplay! It’s called Dungeons and Dragons, and it’s the coolest game in the world.” 

“Sounds fun.” Steve says, even though the dungeon part worries him. 

“What were you gonna say before, Robin?” Eddie asked, “You seemed so worried.” 

“Oh, uhm, I can’t- Steve doesn’t have a pillowcase!” She gasped, turning to Steve. 

“Oh no.” He said, looking back at his house, already a block away now. 

“It’s okay!” Eddie said, running back to them, “Steve can share mine, we’ll split all my candy down the middle since you missed so much. Come on, that house always has the best stuff.” He says, grabbing Steve by the wrist and pulling him along to run. 

Steve lets him, giggling as the three of them run through the street up to the house. His skin tingles where Eddie holds it, which is strange, but he doesn’t mind. It’s sort of nice. Eddie is really nice. 

“Come on.” He says, shoving Steve to the grand front door of the house they’re at, “You should do the honours, Steve, since you haven’t in ages! Come on, come on!” 

Nervously, Steve lifts his hand and rings the doorbell. And when the woman answers the door, he grins, and shouts, “Trick-or-treat!” Louder than he should have. 

The three get their fill of candy and head away to the next house, playing with Cthulhu as they go, comparing which chocolates are their favourites. 

Eddie says his favourites are milky ways, Steve says they’re his favourites too, and Eddie’s cheeks go red again at the fact. 

They manage to hit fifteen more houses before Steve has to go home, and Eddie’s pillow case is so full they decide to carry it together, so it’s not too heavy. 

They sit on the floor by the open door to divvy it out, Robin sits beside them eating more of her candy. Mrs. Delores comes out to flirt with Wayne, who Steve learned is Eddie’s uncle that he lives with, and apparently a lot of old ladies flirt with him. 

They split the chocolates clean down the middle, having an even amount in the bag. And Steve’s excited, because he’s got five milky ways, can’t wait to eat them. Eddie’s got six, at Steve’s insistence as payment for making his costume. 

At the last minute, when they’re scooping their treats back into Eddie’s pillow case and the candy bowl by Steve’s door, he remembers the pocketed treats from before, and races away to get them. He quickly divvys them between him and Eddie, gives the extra one to Wayne as a thank you, and says goodbye to his new friends. Especially Cthulhu. 

“Remember you have to come visit.” Eddie says sternly, watching Steve snuggle the cat, “Cthulhu will get depressed without you.” 

“Promise.” Steve nods. 

“Maybe you can come on Saturday! And maybe Tuesdays after five o'clock! And also Wednesdays after school, and Fridays too—“

“That’s when Robin comes over to my house. We hang out a lot.” 

“We’re best friends.” Robin nods. 

“That sounds like a good idea. Maybe I can come after school on Wednesday.” 

“Okay!” They both shout in unison. 

“Bye, Steve!” Robin shouts, beginning to hop down the steps, “See you around.” 

“Come here, kitty kitty.” Eddie says, tries to grab Cthulhu but she doesn’t let him. Hisses at Eddie and snuggles against Steve. Eddie looks very betrayed again, “Cthulhu! I said come here.” 

She just meowed. 

Steve laughed, handed her back over to Eddie with a little fight and apologised, “Sorry, Cthulhu. We’ll have to cuddle another time.” 

“She really loves group cuddles, you know.” Eddie blurts out, looks embarrassed again, “Just so you know.” 

Steve smiles, thinking he might like a group cuddle with them some time, “Okay.” He’s got butterflies again. 

“Okay.” 

Eddie’s so nice. 

“I’m gonna go now.” He mutters, “But you can come play whenever— not just when Robin’s there, okay?” 

“Okay.” Steve smiled again. It’s all he can do, really. 

“Nice to meet you, Steve.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Eddie.” 

Eddie blushes and ducks his head, waving as he turns away, “I think you look nice, by the way, in your costume. Blue looks really nice on you.” 

Steve blushes too, “Thanks, Eddie.” 

He doesn’t say anything else, just bounces away, catching up to his uncle who’s holding Robin's hand as they walk. Steve watches them walk away, stands silently at the door with a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. 

Wayne scruffs Eddie’s head as they walk away, “Steve seems nice.” He says, sounds like he’s teasing. 

Eddie hunches his shoulders up, glances back at Steve and looks away again immediately, grits out, “Shut up.” 

“What’s going on?” Robin asks, leaning into Eddie’s space. 

“Nothing!—“

“Eddie thinks Steve’s nice.” 

Eddie groans, and Steve doesn’t understand why that’s such a big deal. Steve is nice, isn’t he? 

Isn’t he? 

“Ohh!” Robin muses, skips a few steps ahead and starts singing as the reach the street, “Eddie and Steve, sitting in the tree—“

“Shhh! He’s gonna hear you.” 

“K. I. S. S. I. N. G—“

“I’m gonna kill you!” Eddie groaned, running straight for her. 

Robin erupted in giggles, running away down the street, into the night.  

Steve closes the door and looks down at his bowl of candy, can’t help himself, just wants one before bed. He goes to grab a Milky Way, and something catches his attention. 

He’s supposed to have five. But there are— one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven in the bowl. 

Eddie snuck Steve all of his, even though they’re his favourites. 

Steve can’t wait to hang out with his new friends Robin and Eddie. 

Especially Eddie. 

Steve doesn’t think he’s gonna have a lonely Halloween ever again. 

[rinachains]

wc: 2.6k

contents: nanami x gn!reader; age gap (they're both adults); kind of a mentor/mentee relationship (but not really); reader has some unresolved issues; (sexual?) tension; seemingly one-sided crush; suggestive; MDNI

a/n: a little something while I'm working on the toji fic. the voices made me write this, I hope y'all will enjoy it. comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! divider credits: @cafekitsune

“Are you hungry?”

A shake of your head, barely noticeable. As expected, Nanami mused. He held down a loud sigh.

The lethargic state in which the mission – the whole day – had left him was wearing him down, and all he wanted to do was lie in his bed and close his eyes. But even then, sleep came hard to him; it hovered above him, a painful tease, but it never dared to give him a sweet release. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt fully rested.

“Is there something else you want?”, Nanami tried again, a swift glance towards you.

You only made a dismissive noise in response. The sound almost got drowned out by the heavy rain outside of Nanami’s car. Every hit of the rain against his windows like a punch, with vigour and frustration behind it. Nanami tried not to let his frustration show.

If there was one thing Nanami didn't lack, it was self-awareness and the ability to see through others.

He knew that in the eyes of most of his peers, he came across as stern, overly composed and perhaps a bit too serious. More than once did he hear from them that he ought to relax more and be less formal, but despite all that, they still had a certain respect (and some even admiration) for him. He was able to handle majority of his peers, albeit with a headache sometimes.

Yet he - for the life of him - couldn't figure out why you suddenly became a different person when he was near you. He caught a glimpse of how you acted around others – you were relaxed, laughed at some of the jokes that were made and could hold conversations without any problems.

So why did you act so strange around him?

Nanami would even go so far as to say that you seemed irritated by him. Sometimes he’d catch the roll of your eyes when he’d admonish you, or you'd give him a halfhearted nod when he’d share an important piece of information with you, as if you were trying to have as little conversation with him as possible. As if any interaction with him was a pain in the ass. It deepened his frown each time, the ache in his already throbbing head only getting worse.

He was used to a reaction like this towards Gojo, someone who was naturally irritating, but towards him?

Today, you went on a mission together. Initially, you were supposed to go on your own, but the higher ups decided it would be better if Nanami tagged along, in case something happened and you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Nanami told you that he would stay out of the mission - your mission - and that he would only intervene if he thought it was necessary. Until a certain point, you believed that the mission was going well and that it would end in success for you. A way to prove yourself, to show everyone how capable you were. But then fate decided to show its twisted sense of humor today; just when you thought you had exorcised all the curses, another one suddenly came from behind you, catching you off guard. Too fast for you to react in time.

And the worst thing? Nanami had to come to your rescue, even though you nearly had it.

So now you were sitting in his car, parked in front of the apartment complex you lived in and waited. For what? You didn’t quite know. Nanami told you to wait until the rain stopped, since none of you had an umbrella with you. How considerate of him, right?

He sat next to you in the driver's seat, not a single strand of his perfectly coiffed hair out of place, not even a small stain on his clean, pressed suit.

With each passing minute, the silence between the two of you only grew more tense. Since all available managers were busy with other sorcerers, Nanami offered to use his car. He didn’t expect to do much or any work at all.

Your arms were crossed against your chest as you stared out of the window, chewing on the inside of your cheek and pointedly avoiding looking at the man next to you. You seemed uncomfortable, visibly upset, and that in return made Nanami restless; he tried to remember if he unknowingly offended you earlier. He sometimes tended to be a bit harsh, not feeling and seeing the need to sugarcoat things, but he was not someone who was reluctant to praise. So what did he do to you to make you dislike him?

He cleared his throat, one of his hands loosening his tie. It started to feel awfully tight around his neck.

"If you have a problem, you can tell me. After all, we are both adults here.”

"There's no problem," you muttered, fingers intertwined in your lap. You didn’t sound very convincing and your eyes still refused to meet his.

"Clearly there is," he said matter-of-factly, tired of beating around the bush. He wanted your honesty; he could handle it. After all, he had dealt with worse things in his life. "I may not know you that well, but I can see that something is bothering you."

Another beat of silence and Nanami considered dropping the subject and giving up. If you didn’t want to talk, then he won’t force you.

You felt like pure shit. The truth was, you definitely had a problem. With him. And even though he probably didn't mean to, he brought out the worst in you, all those ugly, desperate feelings that were buried deep inside your body. You hated the way he nagged you or made you feel stupid and fragile. You usually prided yourself on being confident and collected, but he could make you question yourself and your abilities so easily without even trying. You wanted to be independent, not have to lean on him for support; you were a strong sorcerer, for God's sake. So when he had to step in and rescue you like a damsel in distress, it did more than just irritate you. Simply put, your ego couldn't handle it. And it wasn't even his fault, the cause was entirely your own deep-seated insecurities.

He wasn't much older than you, yet he somehow made you feel like a lost child that lacked decades of experience. It annoyed you, but what annoyed you even more was the strong attraction you felt towards him.

Nanami was intimidating yet gentle, someone with good intentions, probably better than any of the other senior sorcerers you worked with.

You longed for his praise, to hear his approval and let it wrap you in a warm embrace. But you were afraid of falling for it, of becoming dependent. An addict. You could never be casual about such things, the intensity was too strong in your heart, a part of you.

The smell of his expensive cologne made your head spin, the urge to nuzzle your face against his neck and breathe in his comforting, masculine scent growing harder and harder to resist. It was like fighting a natural instinct, every fiber of your body yelling at you to give in.

But what made it even harder was the simple fact that he would never see you in that light. Nanami was too good a man, you knew it, everyone knew it. It was supposed to lessen your attraction, but somehow it made it stronger. Maybe there was something seriously wrong with you.

Averting your gaze from the window, you couldn't help but let your eyes linger on his thighs, the thickness of them stretched across the seat, muscles straining against his tight slacks. You swallowed as your mind began to wander.

You imagined his big hand, the same one he used to exorcise curses, gently caressing the nape of your neck, the other one cupping your cheek so tenderly, as if you would crack under the slightest pressure, thumb brushing under your eye. The band of his watch would dig lightly into your skin, leaving faint marks that you'd only notice later when you looked in the mirror.

The sounds he'd make, a hungry humming vibrating against your lips as his mouth would fit perfectly against yours in a desperate rhythm, as if he'd waited far too long to devour you. A choked moan as your hand pressed against his thigh to stabilize yourself, nails digging into the fat there as the muscles twitched under your burning touch. 

The deep blush that would color his cheeks, spreading across the bridge of his nose as his breath hitched. The growing bulge between his thighs that would ache and harden as you brushed your fingertips over it, his hips lifting up and chasing for more.

You wanted to see him crumble because of you, to succumb to his desires and abandon his principles. To bring all the pleasure that brew underneath his skin to a boil. But you weren't naive; you knew it would only remain a distant dream, a hidden fantasy of yours. Because it was Nanami.

"I'm just exhausted," you finally responded with a shake of your head, daring to briefly meet his piercing brown eyes, rid of his glasses. You watched how his lips pressed into a flat line, his head tilted the slightest bit. You thought the expression on his face could be concern.

"Then you should take it easy," Nanami said, so frustratingly considerate. "You may be an adult, but you're still too young to suffer all this stress."

Immediately, as if he had pressed a trigger point, a groan left your mouth at his words and your head slammed back against the car seat rather dramatically. Your fingers pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Stop treating me like an incompetent child. I can handle this perfectly fine. Seriously, you're acting as if I’ve just started as a sorcerer, even though I've been doing this for several years now."

Nanami went still and blinked. His brows furrowed, the shadows on his face darkened, and he shifted in his seat to face you properly. "I do believe you're competent. You're talented, but that doesn't mean you should disregard your own limits."

Your eyelashes fluttered and you peered at him from the corner of your half-lidded eye.

"I just want you to take me seriously."

"I do. And I don't want you to end up like me; it's my duty as your senior to make sure you have it better than I did."

"But it makes me feel like shit," you bit back, all the frustration pouring out of you like an uncontrollable body of water. You couldn't hold back anymore, the gates now opened. "You may have no ill intentions, but that doesn't mean your actions can't negatively affect me."

You waved a hand at him. "And then you had to save me today. I really thought I could do it for a moment, but of course I screwed up. And you had to clean up after me."

"You did not mess up," Nanami insisted stubbornly.

“Oh, c’mon,” you scowled. “I always seem to do so in your eyes.”

"I never thought of you that way," Nanami replied, the tension in his face softening. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well," you murmured, rubbing the back of your neck. "I guess that's on me." You exhaled, head tipped back. "It's just hard, you know? To show any sign of weakness."

"But it's not weakness. You're just being human."

Then he reached his hand up, and you watched as he placed it on your shoulder, the size of his hand dwarfing it. The warmth of his careful touch made your skin tingle through your clothes, his thumb rubbing lightly against the tingling spot. In just a few seconds, you found it harder to breathe, the air too stuffy in his car, which seemed to have shrunk. 

A casual touch, you thought. Nothing special. But the way it consumed you and festered through your body was anything but casual.

"You did well today,” Nanami said pointedly, an attempt to calm and reassure you. The deep timbre of his voice crossed the small distance between you and traveled through your body, tightening the knot in your stomach. Your fingers pressed into the side of your seat. You held his piercing stare, fearing for a moment that he could read you every thought and figure you out. Your tongue poked out to wet your lips. A weak nod was all you could give him.  

He removed his hand, slowly, and for a fleeting moment you thought that his fingers lingered on you for a little too long before he resumed his former position and his hand returned to his leg.

You subtly shook your head again – clearly your exhaustion was taking over you and clouding your mind. You had to get yourself together. Maybe a short trip to Shoko would help.

"How do you deal with all this stress?" you asked, more calmly now that the cat was out of the bag.

He made a sound, a mix of a huff and a sigh. “I don’t deal with it; I’m afraid it will always accompany me.”

You hummed, tilting your head to rest on your shoulder. Your eyes flickered back to him. "Sounds exhausting. Have you tried anything to relieve the stress?"

“I don’t think there’s something that could relieve it. I guess that’s just the price I pay as a sorcerer.”

"Really?" you asked, sounding skeptical.  "Is there really nothing that would help relax your body? Take your mind off all this jujutsu stuff?"

His lips parted, words sitting right on the tip of his tongue, but they closed again. Instead, “No, I can’t really think of anything.”  

“Hmh, but that way you might die from the stress, and not because of a mission. That would be an unimpressive way to go.”

To your surprise, he let out a snort, the ghost of a thin smile forming on his face.

“You’re probably right.”

“Maybe I can help.”

He didn’t respond right away. Then, “How?”

"By locking Gojo up for a few hours. Or a few days."

The amused glint in the brown of his irises returned. He rubbed his eyes.

"I'm afraid that won't do much. Knowing him, he'd find a way to be annoying from wherever he's locked up."

You were about to reply, hoping to keep the conversation going, but then you looked outside; the rain had stopped. All that remained was the dark sky. Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hesitating.

"…I have to go now. It’s late and you probably also want to go home."

He gave you a curt nod. His eyes were now focused forward, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

You opened the door and climbed out of the seat, your feet already on the ground, before you turned your head slightly, giving Nanami a view of your side profile.

“…thank you, Nanami.” And I’m sorry, you wanted to add. But you weren’t there yet. Your stupid pride still had a firm grip on you and not even the little conversation you had could get you out of it. Perhaps you needed more time.

“Of course.”

As you closed the door and started to walk away, you didn't get to see him slump back into his seat with a heavy sigh, a hand running down his face, the tips of his ears turning a crimson color as shame coursed through his veins.

You would be the death of him, he was sure of it.

[colorful-horses]

Been watching that new Hazbin Hotel show as it's coming out (🏴‍☠️) and I'm pretty disappointed with it. I'm not super familiar with the Everything about it, but I remember watching the pilot way back when and liking the premise.

I hadnt kept up with it after the pilot because I wanted to see it with fresh eyes. Now that the show is coming out, somehow I feel like an outsider watching it lol. It presents a lot of concepts, but it just assumes the watcher is already familiar with the characters, and it makes the pacing reeeeally odd. It's all payoff, no buildup (unless you count the years fans had to wait for it as 'build up'). I feel like I REALLY need to look for supplementary material to understand what's going on,, like.... why was there a whole emotional power ballad for a character who was only introduced 10 minutes prior?? Was I supposed to know who she was?😭 (her heels were cool though)

Tonally it's strange, too. It feels like an adult show written for teenagers a lot of the time, which is the BIGGEST disappointment. I was really hoping for more thoughtful explorations of the characters, but we really only get that for Angel Dust and like .... no one else lol. (Sir Pentious is the 👏FUCKING👏BEST👏)

Charlie and Vaggie feel ESPECIALLY underbaked. Considering how overtly sexual the show is, it's SHOCKING how little chemistry they have. Like, it's not there at all. I watched the show with a friend who had no knowledge about Hazbin Hotel whatsoever, and during episode 4, she asked me,"So why is Vaggie helping here?" which I feel is the best example I can give for how poorly developed their relationship is.

I like the music. The song transitions are usually really jarring (Respectless and Hell's Greatest Dad come to mind) but the songs themselves are usually bangers. I'm a big fan of Loser, Baby.

The designs are ..... not for me. But that's not necessarily a criticism. A lot of the character designs feel very dated, but I respect them for sticking so hard to the aesthetic they present, even if its not for me. I wish there was more outfit and body type variety in the characters, but literally EVERYONE says that, so I'll just leave that there lol.

Overall I think this show is a shining example of why """"filler"""" episodes are so important. If this were a 12 or even 24 episode season I think it'd be way better, but as it is, they're trying to cram like 15 different character arcs + a dramatic overarching story into 8 episodes, and it's really REALLY suffering for it.

[harmonysanreads]

La Follia

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Yandere!Sylus x Reader

cw(s) : yandere, coercion, implied murder, implications of forced marriage, one mention of blood, guns, imbalanced power dynamics.

「 words : 800+ 」 「 art credits 」

· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ This... is not the fic idea I said I had in my wips but somehow we ended up here anyway ^^;

Before signing any document, it is crucial to carefully read its contents.

Not this one though. Your spite digs its talons into the pen, glaring at the offending piece of paper its situated against. The strings of legal ruminations and dry wordplay are irrelevant, unnecessary and jeeringly useless before your present predicament. Your eyes would rather bleed than capture their meaning.

Vague phantoms taunt your periphery, specks of dust rising from litanies of codicies towards the flickering lightbulb make it impossible to forget your environment. The state of a government office ; a place to admonish rules and keep the reputation of the constitution flowing — he has no need to adhere to them.

Redundant cannot even hope to describe the absurdity of the situation, in fact, you think you're at a stage of mental stupefaction that no adjective can. Perhaps it would carry some semblance of logic had it been a toddler instead of a conscious adult conducting this ridiculous show.

A show, yes, yes — it is nothing but an impromptu drama. To dig and imbibe the fact into your and everyone else's heads, that the leader of Onychinus has the luxury, the power to carry out even the most nonsensical whims.

Why shouldn't it be possible? In a world dictated through strength, governed by the fittest and where history is written for posterity in hopes of conditioning them to sing the greatness of those who won, you suppose something like this isn't all that irrational.

Supposing now, all things considered, that none of this is illogical in the grand scheme of things. In fact, should the so-called strong decide that it is completely normal, acceptable even to hold a gun to another's head, push them to a stack of papers and shove a pen to finalize some joke of a matrimony — it would be deemed appropriate, because it is the one with the might who has thought so.

But what it wouldn't be, is fair ; another hapless notion that can be discarded easily with the universal knowledge that nothing ever is fair in this world.

You peer through your lashes to the unfortunate clerk that had the fortune of witnessing this hilarity. He tries his best to maintain a semblance of professionalism and fails effortlessly, if the way he toys with the silver-band around his ring finger is anything to go by. Your eyes shift to the picture frame kept with care at one corner of the desk, the innocent smiles of figures who you assume to be his family almost make your heart ache.

Marriage. Coveted, anticipated, so beautiful in its purest form yet the causation of so many miseries. You would've never thought it could be ridiculed to this degree before this day.

You don't need to look beside you to picture his amusement, fascinated at how the clerk appears as though he's seeing his every wrong doing and each moment of joy play out before his eyes despite it being you with a weapon pointed at your head.

There is no rationality behind the demand of marriage by a man who dwells in a land governed by the rule of no rules, no explanation as to why he saunters into this establishment and insists that it be finalized through legalese furthermore.

No, no, it is but to prove to your stubborn self — see and witness what I can do should I desire, I can adhere to law and trample upon it according to my whim. Will you still deny me, still deem me beneath you after this?

You will, if just to push his patience to its last hinges. You know very well this is all just a game to him. If Sylus truly desired to end your life, he wouldn't need a measly gun to do it.

You count the beats of time and construse your own schemes, searching for exits from this doomed playground and wander right into his trap.

“Can’t bring yourself to do it?” the purr is close, too close for your comfort. The tip of the pen shines as it tilts in response to your loosened clasp, sharp, you note ; pointed enough to pierce through an eye and dash away a few paces.

“Need some encouragement? Yes? No? Maybe so? You could've just said it instead of glaring at the poor paper.” the cold muzzle retracts from the side of your head but the heat of its presence remains.

The clerk's pupils are clear enough to reflect the panic that paints your face. The pen drops from your grasp, rolling across the papers and the worn out wood of the table ; gravity pulling it closer to the earth till it hits the tiled floor, splattering the crimson pooling around the surface.

The warmth of the hand that forced the weapon to your hand swiftly withdraws, your vision clears to the coldness of the gun in your clutch, the silence that follows the bullet's release nearly deafens your ears.

You hear the devil's whisper, “Now you and I are equal, no? As such, there should be no further excuses preventing you from marrying this monster.”

It would've been a taunt only some seconds ago, but now, it has become an irrefutable fact. No matter how cunning, how stubborn, the weak will always be controlled by the strong.

[cherriegyuu]

asellus australis | jww | part 1

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader genre: fluff, romance, idiots to lovers word count: 6k summary: Wonwoo couldn’t possibly be the only person living in Sydney who didn’t know how to swim, so he reluctantly says yes to the lessons his friends signed him up for. When he learns that you are his instructor, he figures learning how to swim as an adult isn’t all that embarrassing after all warnings: fear of water, mentions of drowning a/n: this is part of the @svthub 2024 world tour collab. please head there to check out other fics under this collab. if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

It was the kids' laughter that brought your mind out of its newest daydream. It was hard to keep yourself focused on what was happening right in front of you rather than on what had already happened. It was a new feeling and so completely out of character for you. 

A couple of weeks had gone by since you attended a certain party, one you didn’t want to go to. You were too tired from the week and there was a little hint of emotional exhaustion to put yourself through a situation where everything would eventually turn out to be too much. 

It had been so easy to find a quiet place further in at the back, away from all the people and their noisiness. There was only so much music and chatter you could block out just by standing away though.

You sipped your drink, something sweet and fruity Kira had gotten you before drifting off to wherever she wanted to go. It was somewhat frustrating to have gone there because of her and having her pull away from you the second you got there. But at the same time, you understood why she did it. Whoever her new crush was, he was at the party, which meant that she saw an opportunity. Kira was never one to be at a party by herself, and unfortunately, Nina had a better excuse to not be there than “I’m tired”, so you had to be the one to tag along. Though it wasn’t entirely too bad, it was a little boring. 

And then he showed up. 

You had never seen him before, which considering that you didn’t know a single person at the party wasn’t surprising at all. You knew Kira and maybe a couple of others in passing. You made a mental note to ask her how she found out at that party. 

There was no way for you to look away from him. It was like there was this spotlight on him, just on him, making everyone else around pale. 

Somehow he had ended up by your side, claiming to also be running away from his friends and the noise. 

“This isn’t really my scene,” he said “I don’t even know how they managed to drag me out here, to be honest”

You blushed a little when he looked at you, a smile wide on his face. It was enough to make your heart skip a beat. 

“I’m Wonwoo”, his hand stretched out while his left one adjusted the glasses in his nose. 

“Hi”

You let your hand be wrapped by his. You had never felt quite that shy before while meeting someone. Usually, you were the talkative one. 

“I wasn’t supposed to come out tonight” you admitted “but I’m kind of glad I did”

Was that possibly crossing a line? You weren’t sure, it probably was but early that morning you read that you should be more open to relationships in whichever format they came from, the reason why you didn’t even try to stop Kira from dragging to the party. 

A long time had gone by since you felt anything similar while talking to someone — especially since using the word talking seemed to be a little much considering you had barely exchanged a few words. Wonwoo had your undivided attention from the moment he walked in. 

Wonwoo simply smiled at you again and looked up at the sky. The sun had long set and in its place the most beautiful full moon lit up the sky, accompanied by the countless shining stars. 

“There’s so many stars tonight,” you said and almost kicked yourself for it. 

It was probably the worst way you could have started a conversation with a guy. You half expected him to answer you at all, a nod or a hm, at best. 

“Did you know,” his words were almost shy, his delicious low voice dropping even lower, almost as if he was telling you a secret “that the stars have colors?”

His voice was so quiet while he spoke, his eyes still focused on the sky above. Wonwoo clasped his hands together, his knuckles turning white while he put way too much strength into something that needed none.

“Really?” you looked up for a second before turning your full attention back to his profile “I thought it was just some sort of optical illusion”

He turned to you then, his full attention on you as you waited for him to speak again. It was an odd feeling, for him to have someone interested in whatever he was saying.

“Yeah, there’s a few. Blue, white, yellow, orange, and red” he made a fist between the two of you, raising a finger every time he said a different color “The color depends on the temperature and life cycle”

Maybe you didn’t mean to, or perhaps you did, but you leaned your body a little to the left, your knee touching his.

“I had no idea”

He looked at you, slightly surprised that you were suddenly so close to him but smiled at you all the same.

“You can’t see the colors when you look at the sky?” his eyebrows were slightly raised, lips in a mix of a pout and a smile. 

You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth in hopes that it could make you stop from inching forward and pressing them against his. If you were in his place you’d probably run away screaming “crazy” at the top of your lungs”

“I mean, I can, I just didn't think the star had actual colors. I guess I just always assumed it was all silver”

Wonwoo laughed, his nose wrinkling in the most adorable way possible. 

You were talking with him for a couple of hours, the most casual kind of conversation and it was probably the most fun you had in a long time at one of those parties. Not that you didn’t have fun. Nina and Kira were always fun to be around and it was something you always said yes to, being around them. But with Wonwoo it was just a different kind of fun. Usually, when guys approach you at parties the conversations always remain the same, and it was always made to make them look larger than life. 

Wonwoo however seemed to be much more interested in talking about the sky and the moon and the stars — “did you know that the moon moves away further from the earth every year? — and while you were aware that some of it was just to prove himself as smart, you found it cute and at times, even endearing. 

He seemed somewhat passionate about what he was talking about to the point where you could just stand there and look at him without ever getting bored. His voice, low when he had first sat by your side, had gone up a few notes, maybe partially because of the music around you, but you had a feeling that it was because he was just getting excited about what he was talking about. 

“I never saw you before at one of these,” you said

Wonwoo took a long sip of his drink, you weren’t sure of what it was but it wasn’t the cheap beer that was in your cup. 

“I don’t come to these often, my friends” he pointed at where the rest of the people were and you had no real way of finding out who his friends were “finally managed to drag me out. I would have stayed at the office if they didn’t”

It was a redo of the conversation you had before but you didn’t mind in the least, not when you could feel his warm breath at the top of your cheeks as he leaned down to talk to you. Slightly, you turn your head to him and for a moment you thought about just typing your head up slightly, just enough to reach his lips. 

“What do you do for a living?”

Wonwoo cleared his throat, his eyes moving from your eyes to your lips. He did that maybe a couple of times before he finally, finally, leaned in. And it was like little bells of you started to play inside your head. It was perfect for all of two seconds, his lips pressed over yours, soft and warm, his hand at the back of your neck pulling your face closer to his before someone screamed your name at the top of their lungs. 

He pulled away from you immediately and you honestly wanted to cry. The kiss had only lasted a brief second but you didn’t want it to end.

Kira was suddenly by your side, a look of complete desperation in her eyes. 

“We have to go… Nina…”

Before she even finished her sentence you were already up. You looked at Wonwoo quickly, hoping that he could see how sorry you were when you ran out. 

Looking back you wished you could have remembered to ask for his number before you left, or for him to ask for yours. But all of it had happened way too quickly that it had never crossed.

Ever since that night had been stuck in your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about Wonwoo or the kiss. It was like your mind was in this infinite looping playing that one moment.

“The new guy is here,” Jinah said, Laughing a little.

You looked where she was pointing and couldn't help the low laugh that escaped your lips. Three guys were walking towards you. Maybe walking was a bit too strong a word, one of them was being pushed by the other two.

“We're already here,” the shorter one said, exasperated “You just have to go there and learn”

“You know, this is a terrible idea” the one who was being pushed said.

It was as if you had been transported back to that day at the party. It was precisely the voice you wanted to hear but had no real way of hearing.

“Wonwoo?”

Your voice was one that Wonwoo didn't expect to hear any time soon, or maybe ever again. After that day when he left the party in a hurry, without giving the slightest explanation, Wonwoo was sure he would never see you again. Sydney was far from a small town and he wasn't the biggest party-goer who had ever set foot on this earth, he knew that the chances of running into you again were slim to none.

But somehow, you were right there in front of him.

He had thought many times about what he would say if he saw you again if he was that lucky. Everything that had gone through his head had seemed wrong and now that you were in a place where he could see you, nothing came to mind. It was as if he had momentarily forgotten all the words he had learned throughout his life. That all the years he had spent trapped in an educational institution hadn't taught him anything.

Ever since that night, Wonwoo couldn't stop thinking about you. It didn’t matter what he did, however, he tried to think of other things or other people and focus on work. You were always there, in the back of his mind. He had never done anything quite like that before. 

That wasn’t to say that he had never had a girlfriend. He had, a few of them throughout his life but it never happened quite that fast and it was never quite life-altering. Sure, he had met a girl once at one of the many events he attended as part of his job and she had stayed in his mind for a couple of hours, but never days like it happened with you. 

And when he started to babble about the moon and the stars, because he had gotten nervous, you didn’t seem to mind. Instead, you gave him your full attention, seemingly inserted in what he was saying. But then suddenly you were gone and he didn’t even have the chance to ask for your number or anything that he could use to find you again. 

Wonwoo had been certain that you would, somehow, be the one who got away and yet there you were, in shorts and a black swimsuit with the logo he saw outside. 

He hated the word destiny, but maybe there was some of it sprinkled in seeing you again. 

“Hi!” 

Wonwoo’s voice came out a little louder than usual, making his friends turn to him with furrowed eyebrows. Soonyoung looked utterly confused while Jihoon just did his best to suppress the laugh that was bubbling inside his chest. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” you said, smiling brightly at him. 

Wonwoo was completely caught off guard when you took a step forward and wrapped your arms around his shoulder. It only lasted a second and it wasn’t enough for him to react and hug you back. 

Your cheeks had a light pink on them as you stepped back. He smiled once he noticed that your hand was balled into fists. 

“Sorry, my mom is a hugger so I just sort of hug people sometimes” you were quick to explain, waving your hands in front of yourself. 

You closed your eyes tightly, your cheeks getting even redder. Wonwoo thought that you looked cute that night at the party, but this version in front of him was much cuter. He pressed his lips together, trying not to smile too big. 

“Do I get a hug too?”

Soonyoung took a step forward, arms wide open, smile so big that Wonwoo wasn’t even sure his friend could see anything at all. Thankfully Jihoon was quick enough to pull him back and angry enough to hit him in the back of the head. 

“No…”  

You took another step back and raised your index finger at him. Your reaction alone was enough to pull an honest laugh out of Wonwoo. You seemed horrified by the idea which made him think that your earlier allegation of being a hugger was probably a lie. 

“How dense are you?” Jihoon whispered and shouted at Soonyoung. 

You lightly shook your head, maybe trying to shake off any sort of dizziness, before smiling again. 

“Which one of you is the one taking lessons?”

In the queue, Wonwoo felt two sets of hands at his back, pushing him forward. Both of his friends were holding back giggles. 

He had hated the idea of taking swimming lessons as an adult. His friends were irreducible in his learning though so he eventually just caved and did as they wanted. However, all of the cells in his body that were against it dissolved the second he saw you. Now, learning didn’t seem all that bad or all that weird. 

“Great! I need you to follow me to the back if that’s okay?” you pointed over your shoulder with your thumb “You need to fill out a form before we can get started”

Wonwoo nodded and followed you. He was naive enough to look back at his friends once and he was glad that you didn’t do the same. Jihoon was giving him a thumbs up, a weird-looking smile on his face, while Soonyoung would be screaming if he could, if not for the hand covering his mouth. 

He loved his friends, he really did, they were one of the reasons why Wonwoo even had any kind of social life, and they were there for him whenever he needed them, even if he just wanted to complain about something — Soonyoung was especially good at hating someone he had never met before just because Wonwoo complained once about said, person. 

In silence, he followed you to the back, eyes focused on your back. He had to force his eyes to stay on the back of your neck and not on the way your hips swayed deliciously from side to side while you walked. 

You sat down on one of the tables and smiled sweetly at the receptionist who handed you a sheet and a pen. You slid the paper across to Wonwoo, followed by the pen.  

“While you fill that out, I’m going to ask you a couple of questions”

Wonwoo was never that great at multitasking, so he was sure that he would either write his information down or he would talk with you. If he did do two things at once, most likely both of them would be half-assed. 

“Why are you taking swimming lessons?”

He paused writing and looked at you. It made sense that that was your first question, he would just like it if it wasn’t on the list. 

“I don’t know how to swim, so my friends thought that it was good a idea to sign me up for lessons”

You smiled and nodded at him, not a hint of judgment in your eyes. It was new. When he told people that he didn’t know how to swim people usually looked at him like he had four sets of arms, it was almost like the look one got when one heard that they could ride a bike. 

“Can you float on your back?”

He simply shook his head and kept writing his information down. It didn’t go unnoticed to Wonwoo how you pursed your lips together and tilted your head to the side. 

“Do you feel comfortable in the water at all?” you asked, slightly confused. 

Wonwoo set down the paper and pen, now fully looking at you. He wanted to avoid the conversation, yes, but he knew if there was one place he had to be honest, it was there, with you. 

“I’m not the biggest fan of water,” he said, voice low matching how his eyes were kept on the table the entire time. 

When Wonwoo was a kid, while on a trip to the beach with his parents, he was playing in the water when a wave forcefully took him away. He had tried to scream for help but instead of pushing his voice out, all he did was pull water into his lungs. According to his parents, the moment didn’t last for more than a few seconds but it was enough for him to never want to do anything with the water again.

It wasn’t a problem to be at a pool, like the one he was in, as long as his feet could touch the floor and he had enough space between where the water ended and his head. But he had never been to the beach again. Not that his friends hadn’t tried to convince him to go to the beach, just to feel the sand between his toes, they never even mentioned the idea of getting in the water. But Wonwoo refused every single time. 

Why would he go to a place that only brought him bad memories when he could simply pretend that synch place didn’t even exist in the first place? Of course, living in Sydney posed as a minor problem to that plan, but it had never stopped him before. 

And yet, somehow, he found himself in front of you, asking for swimming lessons. The fact that it was you made him somehow calmer if such a thing was even possible. 

“Can you get into the water or is that something we need to work on?” Wonwoo looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed “Some people come here and they have a rough time getting into the water, so it’s something we have to work slowly on. Is that the case with you?”

“Oh, no” he shook his head “I can get into the water just fine”

You smiled at him while you looked at his information. Wonwoo felt his insides twist a little when your smile slowly dropped. 

“Is everything okay?”

Your eyes left the paper for a second and you smiled again.

“Everything is fine” you put the paper on the table again, now fully ignoring it “Should we get started?”

“He is a cancer!” you wailed, dropping your head on the back of the couch. 

Of course, it made absolute sense that the most dreamy and perfect guy you had ever met, was a cancer. Of course! 

“What is she on about?” Kira asked, making a weird face. 

Nina simply sighed and nudged you, placing the wine glass into your hands

“It’s the guy from the party,” you said, sipping the wine “He came in today to take lessons and I saw his birthday. He’s a cancer”

Both of them nodded as if understanding what you were saying, but you knew that they couldn’t care less about it. Between the three of you, you were the only one who cared about star signs. You were always one to simply look into it once and let it go. It usually gives you a way to understand someone better. And while it could just be some harmless fun, you know yourself well enough to know that something you let get a little too much into your head. 

And you see, Wonwoo is a cancer, which in itself it’s not a real issue. Cancer men are known to be caring, loyal, and protective, all of which are great treats when you are in a relationship with someone, their groundedness is highly incompatible with Sagittarius women. They usually enjoy their time at home and are more on the introverted side. 

“Are you going to treat that as a problem?”

Nina had her eyebrow raised so high you were sure that if she pushed up a little more she’d be able to touch her hairline. 

“We are incompatible!” you cried, drinking the rest of the wine.

Both of your friends looked at you, knowing that the conversation would probably lead you to drink a little more than you needed, which in return would cause them problems. Truth be told you weren’t the best drinker out of the three of you. You were the worst of your group, to the point you avoided drinking out, but in the comfort of your home — or this case, Kira’s home — all bets were in and you could be as much of a bad drinking as you wanted to be. 

“You can’t let sun signs, moon signs, whatever it’s called, rule your relationship, babe,” Kira said, her voice sounding a lot like the one she usually used on the kids she teaches.

Kira was a kindergarten teacher, a real hero if you knew what one of those looked like

“Remember how you were over the moon after the party? You couldn’t stop talking about him and we all know that if you can’t stop talking, it also means that he was constantly in your mind as well”

Her tone was almost mocking you. The thing is your friends knew you, sometimes, better than you knew yourself.

“Do you remember Ben? He was a cancer” you said trying to prove a point, but knowing fully well that it meant nothing at all. Wonwoo and Ben couldn’t possibly be more different, even just at first glance. 

“Ben stole money from your wallet, used your card to his heart’s content, and then fled, making you pay for everything he ever bought. I’m sure Wonwoo is nothing like that”

You narrowed your eyes at her. She was defending Wonwoo a little too much. You knew Kira’s thoughts on your zodiac obsession and she was always quick to shut it down, but this time around, the way she was defending a man she had maybe seen for 5 seconds was a little suspicious.

“I agree with Kira,” Nina said, eyes still on her phone “Ben was a dick but Wonwoo might not be one. You said he was sweet at the party. Sorry I sort of ruined it for you that night”

Your friend smiled at you, her eyes a little sad. Nina had been the reason why Kira pulled you out of the party that night. She had been traveling for work and was in a car accident on the road on her way back to Sydney. She was fine, with no life-threatening wounds, but she was very nervous, understandably so. She was still insecure about being on the road again, but you were sure that she just needed a little more time. 

“It’s fine” You wrapped her shoulders with your arms, pulling her closer to you “No boy in the world is more important than you”

Your mind went back to the party and the way you felt that night, how you’d have stayed there the entire night with him unless you were pulled away — which eventually happened. Wonwoo talked about the moon and stars and you were that if he ever told you that he was the one responsible for hanging them up in the sky you would have probably believed him. 

“You’re so corny sometimes” She pushed you with her shoulder but made no real attempt to move away from you.

“You love me, so…”

“I guess the swimming lessons are much more interesting now, right?” Soonyoung teased Wonwoo.

Wonwoo simply rolled his eyes and kept his focus on the computer in front of him, making Jihoon snort by his side, which in return only made Soonyoung wine as he sat on the couch in the back of the room. Under normal circumstances, Wonwoo would probably already be home at such an hour but there were things that he needed to do if he wanted to have a truly off weekend. One when he could just focus on the lessons he was bound to have on Saturday. 

He was never one to anxiously wait for things, especially when those things had a lot to do with the water and yet there he found himself, wishing that Saturday morning came just a little faster than it usually did. 

For him, Saturdays mostly meant trying to come up with reasons as to why he wouldn’t be able to go somewhere with his friends. That was mostly Soonyoung, to be fair. His friend enjoyed being out and about, going to new places, and having new experiences. From time to time Wonwoo did too, but he liked his time alone time a little too much when it was just him and his stars. 

“It pains me to say this” Jihoon said with a sigh, almost as if he didn’t believe those words were coming out of his mouth “I agree with him. It looks a lot of fun now”

Jihoon and Soonyoung were a weird duo, that was for sure. They spent half of the time bickering like old men who have nothing else to do and the other half they were either in agreement or just pretending that the other didntdidn'tt. Somehow, it worked.

“I mean” Jihoon continued “She’s the girl from the party”

Wonwoo turned around in his chair, giving Jihoon a look with eyes wide. There was a reason why he didn’t mention you to Soonyoung, and it was quite simple: he would never hear the end of it and Soonyoung would, at the very least, contact every single person he knew at the party and ask if they knew you. His friend would stop until he found you and though seeing you again was something that he wanted, Wonwoo didn’t want to come across as someone who was desperate and maybe a little bit of a stalker. 

“What girl?”

He let his body slide down on the chair and closed his eyes. Wonwoo would never hear the end of it now with Soonyoung. 

“The party we managed to drag him to a couple of weeks ago? He met a girl there and she had to leave before he managed to ask for her number”

Another thing about the Soonyoung and Jihoon duo is that they like to gossip like teenagers. It’s the very stereotypical image of highschoolers whispering to each other in the hallways, except for the fact that they gossip about Wonwoo right in front of his face and there is nothing that he can do to just make them stop, and they haven’t been to a high school hallway in years. 

“Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Probably because you were too busy with whatever it is that makes you disappear at parties?”

The two of them exchanged a look and Wonwoo knew that they were talking without ever saying a single word. 

“So” Soonyoung turned to him again “you went to a party and talked to this girl”

“Kissed her, actually,” Jihoon said

Soonyoung’s body almost vibrated at the news and he was clapping his hands, making sounds that no human should ever be able to make. 

What is the closest emergency exit from here? Wonwoo couldn’t help but wonder. 

“This is the greatest day of my life” he laughed hysterically “You went to a party, something that on its own is already very out of character to you, you kissed a girl and now she’s your hot swimming instructor?”

He turned to Jihoon for approval, who simply nodded. 

“You should ask her out, she looked interested earlier  at the pool”

The image of you looking over his information and your smile slowly dropping came across Wonwoo’s mind and he couldn’t help but think that Soonyoung was wrong. Whatever it was that you say written there, which Wonwoo couldn’t possibly even phantom what it was considering that it was his most basic information, was enough to make you rethink something. 

“And she listed to you nerding out and still wanted to kiss you”

His mind drifted back to the night of the party. Wonwoo was certain that if you had stayed for a little longer he would have probably gotten your number and asked you out on the very next day and with some luck you would have said yes and who knew where it would go from there. 

“Oh, this just keeps getting better” Soonyoung clapped his hands.

“Again, this is very painful to say but I agree with Soonyoung, you should ask her out”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. Jihoon talked a big game about not agreeing with Soonyoung but he always did. They were always in the same frequency of decisions and Wonwoo was usually the one who had a different opinion. 

“And maybe, who knows, she might have thought about you as much as you thought about her these past few weeks?”

Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s arm, his eyes wide with uncontrolled excitement.

There was something different about the way Jihoon said it as if he was in some sort of secret that Wonwoo had no idea about. Of course that was the entire purpose of a secret but it felt different. 

“If I promise to think about it, will you” Wonwoo pointed at Soonyoung “stop this weird, whatever it is?”

Surprisingly enough, the pool was mostly empty during the weekends, hence why they usually closed at noon on Saturdays. Parents usually sent their kids during the afternoons and most adults preferred either early mornings or after hours so the weekends were usually pretty low and you’d rather be anywhere else than at work but Saturdays started to look so much better once Wonwoo’s name was written on the board, right under yours. 

After the initial minor breakdown

You sat down on the edge of the pool, your feet on the water while you waited for him. With each passing second you grew more anxious, your heart beating rapidly inside your chest in anticipation of what would happen. 

A part of you expected it to be just a regular class, with normal small talk. The other part, this one much more hopeful and highly unrealistic, hoped that you could pick up where you left off the night of the party. But the truth was that you had no idea what was about to happen. You were certain that there was a secret third option that you couldn’t see or even think of. 

You turned around when there was the distant sound of a door closing and a few seconds later Wonwoo walked in, in black swim shorts and a black t-shirt, a towel on his shoulder. He smiled at you while pushing his glasses back. 

For a moment it was like you were back at the party that night and he was all that you could see again. There wasn’t anything or anyone else there but even then the space seemed to disappear.

“Hi,” he offered once he stopped next to you. 

“Hey”

You got up and walked to the other side, removing your shorts and folding them over the side of a chair. Wonwoo followed suit, dropping his towel on the chair and then taking off his glasses and shirt. It took everything in you to keep quiet and not just fully ogle him. You almost had to hit your face to make yourself remember how to breathe properly again. 

"You ready?" you said without turning to him. 

The only answer Wonwoo had to give was a small ruff, in exchange for making you chuckle. Though it was funny, it was not the ideal. 

“Listen,” you turned to him, hands on your hips “If you’re uncomfortable we can reschedule or maybe not even do this at all”

Wonwoo looked at you, his eyes going a little soft as he sat down on the edge of the pool, mimicking your early stance. His eyes were focused on the water in front of him, unblinking. 

“I’m tall enough that my head will stay above water, right?” 

“Yes, you’re good until halfway”

He nodded his head, eyes until in the water. If the situation was any different you’d have cracked a joke or anything else that could somehow lighten up the mood but there was no room for that. 

“Let’s just get this over with”

Most of the hour you spent with Wonwoo in the pool was silent. It was mostly you talking and him listening, trying — and failing — to follow your instructions. You tried to crack the occasional small talk, but he was having none of it. You couldn’t help but wonder if his lack of enthusiasm, or interest, was because he was still uncomfortable or if it was because of how you had acted when he first came by to sign up for lessons. 

It took you a few hours, and three glasses of wine, to realize that you had made a face when you saw his birthday written. And it wasn’t a nice face, you were sure you scowled at the paper. Maybe it was that moment you ruined it all between you and Wonwoo. Or maybe, he was just really unhappy. 

“Are you okay?” you asked him once again, hand on his shoulder. 

You were honestly so worried about him that it was hard to ogle him. 

“Yeah, I’m just not a big fan of water, that’s all”

This time you put both of your hands on his shoulder, turning his body fully to you.  God, he is too handsome. Forget the whole “too worried to ogle” thing. His chest, his very naked chest, was right in front of your eyes. You were only human, a human that had dreamed of the man in front of her a few too many times and none of them had been pg-13. It was fine to appreciate someone’s beauty. 

“Listen to me, you don’t need to do this, okay?”

“This is Sidney,” he said as if that was enough explanation.

The only possible reaction was to roll your eyes at him. 

“Who gives a fuck where we are in the globe? Do you go to the beach? The pool? Boats? Loves to be on airplanes who happen to fly across oceans?” when his answer to all of your questions was no you shook his shoulders a little bit “Then you have no reason to learn how to swim. Right now you’re just torturing yourself”

Wonwoo sighed and nodded, but he still looked sort of weird, if you were one to tell considering how little you knew him. You raised your eyebrows at him, hoping that it was enough to get him to talk. 

“It’s just…” he seemed to struggle to get the words out “I want to see you again”

This time you didn’t even try to suppress your smile or the butterflies in your stomach.

“You could ask for my number and ask me on a date, you know?”

taglist: @wonwooz1-blog, @ryuwonieebae, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @ho34gojo, @feat-sun , @wonvsmile , @belladaises , @mhlsymlysn, @swinterr , @immabecreepin , @uniq-tastic , @miriamxsworld , @aaniag , @byunparklimchoi , @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrr, @yeeyoo0206, @tomodachiii, @ignoretheskies , @roguesthetic , @sofix-hc7 , @scarlet789 , @pluviophile-xxx , @moonlightgleric, @r6njunlv, @mixling-blog , @cinnamongirl127, @haowonbins , @valgracia , @slut4donghyuck , @manutuankim , @shuabby1994 , @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan , @sukiscones, @plumings, @shuasdrafts , @aaa-sia , @bouclesdefeu , @dreambloomout, @hyangg11, @maewhore , @blurr3db3rry, @sea-moon-star , @roguesthetic , @writingbarnes , @strawberryroseee , @lovely-ficsfor-me, @lixisoul99, @jjeongddol , @whoa-jo , @poiibbtt , @seokqt , @itsmeaudrieee, @palmsugr , @hyneyedfiz , @babybae-shisui , @wmewtew

again, if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

if you want to be tagged in my next fics, please fill out this form

if you no longer wish to tagged in my fics let me know!

[lovl3igh]

"they made greens worse in show to push blacks agenda" "they made blacks worse in show to push green agenda" truth is they made daemon and viserys worse and greens are now arouse sympathy and rhaenyra is made more soft and all that destroys mostly female characters and is for more drama and to push whole tg vs tb thing for bigger marketing while saying that's not what we supposed to do (season 1)

and yes, greens are worse in the books, making alicent innocent in the beginning and stating murder of luke as accident was to make them look better. and yes daemon was more "grey" character in the book, while in show almost every scene who was supposed to make him look like good father, husband or just vulnarable guy was cut out or belittled, his relationships make him look like bad guy - killing rhea, admitting to not fully loving laena, abusing nyra - instead of book!daemon who is against everyone but his family (except of green side), there's show!daemon who goes against his family or ignore its' members. and yes there are things when the greens are shown worse than in the books and black better than they were written

but changing ages of characters harms team black only. and since there's many changes of those and that's of many important characters it DOES make team black look worse and makes team green victims

1. alicent instead of being adult woman going against little girl (alicent 18yo and rhaenyra only 9) is now teenager sexually abused by viserys who is even older than her in the show than in f&b. being rhaenyra's peer - and her former friend - also changes the dynamic because now people claim rhaenyra caused break up of their friendship as if she wasn't just suffering 14yo. no, alicent is no more adult woman climbing for power and acting against child, it's a teenager abondoned by her best friend after being force into relationship with much older guy

2. jace, luke and dragon twins aged up - now in book it was 10yo aemond who attacked 3yo joffrey and then fought 4yo luke and 5yo jace*. in the show 11yo (according to s2 timeline) aemond is fighting four kids in the age from 8 to 10. so he doesn't attacks children at least 2x younger than him but is jumped by almost his peers. poor aemond, right?

*before someone say "jace was 6 and luke 5" - jace was born in late 114 AC and luke in late 115, meanwhile laena died at the beggining of 120 AC, which makes them 5 and 4 years old respectively

3. we don't have actual age of twins but looking at actors' ages, jaehaerys and jaehaera were 4, maybe 5 years old, tho in s1 they looked like toddlers. now it's not a big book to show change, 6 to 4yo, but it still look kinda worse to murder boy who barely stopped being a toddler than 6yo

4. daemon fell in love with laena when she was 22 (!!!). she wasn't a teenager. she wasn't also 12yo when offered by her parents to viserys. making her younger in the show made daemon, corlys and rhaenys look worse than in f&b (the only person who looked "better" - there's no good word for that i'm afraid - in that situation was viserys, who decided to marry 15yo and not 12yo. good for you, pedo?)

5. joffrey being 6yo with baby dragon makes rhaenyra look worse and like an oathbreaker. sending baby dragons to the vale instead of dragon who can at very least carry his rider doesn't look cool even though was funny for a second, because she technically didn't break her word, she DID send a dragon, even two, but that was a loophole

6. not exactly the same but - fabien frankel and matt smith' casting. i'm not saying they don't play their characters well or anything. that's not the point. the point is that fabien was born in 1994, matt smith in 1982 and milly alcock in 2000. there's 12 years age difference between fabien and matt but between cole and daemon is supposed to be only a year. now daemon is still called a groomer and cole is not because he is played by a guy only 6 years older than milly. and there are also people who now call him a victim and not rhaenyra

so yeah, i don't really wanna see anymore how much blacks look better in the show than in the book and greens worse... because that's not true. yeah, there are things done that make tb look a bit better but the show started with making the greens victims they weren't at all in the book and a lot of that has to do with ages changing