#even though both are true
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
living like this is EXTREMELY sexy of him ngl. this set design deserves an award for completely understanding the character and for not being afraid to go All OUT. and i need to point out no other action movie guy could ever or will ever be able to carry this living space off without it looking like he's trying and failing at doing too much. but not maverick as played by tom cruise. with him and him alone does it look simply like getting a peek into the natural habitat of someone known for having jetfuel in their blood.
#jetfuel in his blood#jetfuel is his blood#top gun the movie and maverick the character were both part of pop culture in a huge way for 35 years before this sequel came out#and one thing they symbolise in popular memory is apparatus of locomotion by land air and sometimes sea that go very fast#and so does tom cruise#with any other action movie star this set would simply not mean anything to us the audience except that they were trying too hard#its only with tom cruise and this character in this sequel to this movie that a seet design like this actually holds#almost an emotional instinctual understanding for the audience#you look at the bigger pieces of this living space he's made for himself and you think of course he lives like this its maverick#you look at the smaller pieces and discover new depths new journeys hes been on for the 35 years since we last met him#this set is a perfect combination of tribute to the space this character has occupied in pop culture for 35 years#and an insight on the journey he's on in this movie#you're not even thinking they designed his home like this because he's a cool action hero in a cool action movie#even though both are true#but mostly it just makes sense like getting the reveal of the natural habitat of a legendary pokemon would#also masterful choices were made to portray the character in the way cruise did in this sequel#the wry tired genuine earnestness and compassion that transform the actiony trappings of the genre the character is in#from just shallow fun to a very warm emotionally resonant cultural phenomenon of a movie#with him as its steel spine#but that's a whole other post
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
johto’s champion and chronicler for the deity of the ilex shrine, it’s lyra!🌿
this one took me a while due to trying out different techniques (studying a Lot of art nouveau) and making a couple changes to her outfit (the details help), but I’d like to think she’s learned a lot in her journey and wanted to reflect her experience more in her champion fit
her specialty would be in fairy types and her meganium’s divergent evolution is grass/fairy 🧚🪷
and a bonus w/ the johto gang after the photoshoot!
#kagarts#trainer lyra#meganium#pokemon hgss#get ready for a bigass tag wall again HYAH#her team picks are meganium (grass/fairy + shiny!) azumarill togekiss alola ninetales gardevoir and clefable (mega evolves for fairy/steel)#terrains and high sp atk + statuses galore + her dino can cause a stronger confusion (like toxic w badly poisoned but its w/ Bad headaches)#i'll probably make changes as i go design wise for meganium but colors were inspo from sampaguita flowers#the flower's associated with true friendship and utilized in medicines or given as good gestures in various traditions and celebrations#and also bc she's 🇵🇭 babey!!!!!!!! i'm slapping all my favs w the pinoy beam and not even the dinos are safe >:]#since her dino is shiny a lot of the colors are just a few color diffs where the little orbs are + warmer tones. gotta make a ref sometime#not sure if I should tag the others bc the focus is on her. but the quartet always pulls thru for each other#i like thinking silver gets comfortable enough to be the friend that's “s'cuse you my Friend asked for No pickles”#silver in line picking up her food like “yeah yeah i know her and btw that’s CHAMPION lyra to you. YES she ordered a strawberry shake”#both of their meganiums are Best friends and silver likely uses his dino when you rematch him (and his would beee grass/dragon)#calling this piece Done though oh my god this semester has been nuts. don't wanna take any longer on a single piece or i'm eating tree bark#tumblr's gonna kill the quality on it but idgaf im Done. i need to tidy up my sheezy now
233 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, the AAI2 fandom’s insistence on referring to the characters by their fan localized names we’ve had for like a decade instead of the ones we received this week is really funny. It almost reminds me of something…
God damn it.
#ace attorney#aai#aai2#aa investigations#aai collection#ace attorney series#ace attorney shitpost#ace attorney posting#ace attorney investigations#yumihiko ichiyanagi#sebastian debeste#eustace winner#courage the cowardly dog#raymond shields#eddie fender#justine courtney#verity gavelle#real talk: the name Eustace is kind of growing on me. it has the even more pathetic energy than both Yumihiko/Sebastian.#still prefer the fan names though.#that and since I’m a microbiology major I know that ‘eu-‘ as a prefix in biology usually means ‘true’ so it connects to Verity/Justine#and I think that’s kinda cute :)#winner however can go burn.#Eustace will never replace Sebastian I am simply adding it to my list of names to refer to the kid.#<- a list which so far includes: 4kids Akechi. Laywer Iruma-kun. Fluffy Little Bastard. Tall Child. Disconnected Tellytubby. Herr Fluffy.#and now Eustace and Stacey have been added to the mix.#what are some others please add.
205 notes
·
View notes
Text
the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more
#he is an interesting character yes and i like him but some of you act like he is eternally and exclusively a victim which is not true#yes he is a victim of akio and of the narrative (like every other character. he is not perticularly special in this regard)#no he is not a victim of the patriarchy (he in fact benefits from it directly at the cost of the girls around him)#no he is not a victim of wakaba (??not sure where this even came from) no he is not a victim of anthy (watch the first episode again maybe)#some of you are at all times 2 steps away from becoming the next misandry in the utena fandom person#“erm the way he is punished by the narrative for failing to live up to the masculine ideal of the prince-#-is basically just as bad as the systemic abuse he participates in putting girls through“#good lord i do not want to hear your takes on any real world feminist issues#m#bad takes#(should probably remember to use that tag. even though this isn't really about anything super specific)#and it's not about any of my mutuals to be clear. you all know how to actually be critical of how much he sucks#AND write good nuanced analysis. shockingly you can do both. actually i don't think one is possible without the other
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
His dark child, his love, evil of his evil. The one who broke his heart.
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#iwtv fanart#iwtv art#the vampire claudia#lestat de lioncourt#dreamstat#claudia de lioncourt you might have even said except she’d have bitten your head off immediately#doesn’t make it less true though does it#also I love how on this doodle the ‘bleeding/broken heart’ of lestat also looks like a wound from the knife in the back#like it’s making me a little unwell just thinking about it because both of them would deny vehemently the use of that phrase for their circs#and yet and yet… someone with only surface level of knowledge about what happened and from a certain perspective…#could definitely throw that idiom around… and get their head bitten off yep we return to the starting point
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
Usually when I'm asking for the ball I'm in a Mood.
He said sometimes it's a glance even, is that something you've given him?
...yeah, damn, yeah.
Can you show us?
Nah, I can't do that. That's not a good glance to give him though, that's why...damn that's a good one right there. I didn't... only he knows that though, you know?
#ja'marr's perspective on asking joe for the ball 😌#well aware that when it does come to that he's in a Mood lmao.#and the confirmation of the glance!!! and he's looks so like...i dunno! touched? bashful? amused? fond? when it's brought up!#like it's confirmation that they are indeed both constantly saying that they don't need words with each other#confirmation that it's TRUE that they are on the same page#from an outside source. like. confirming yes you guys have a special connection you both say it you both have examples of it#it's not all in your head (even though it IS all in their heads)#the meta. it's too much for me.#'only he knows that - you know?'#even that frustrated glance!! it's their's!! just their's!#<3 <3 <3#joe'marr#ja'marr chase#joe burrow
74 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sonia and Komaeda getting along well enough to room together is so good honestly. Even if its mostly bc she takes no shit, Komaeda was still like the only person to stand up for her when Teruteru was trying to get frisky about her naiveté in the prologue/ch1.
I kind of suspect she was acting more unknowing than she really was then, to suit her role as a princess, but he had no way of knowing that then. Plus, if she was aware then, it might be easier for her to recognize the side of him that isn't all hope n murder? Since outside of the killing game he's pretty polite (if self effacing) and generally not down for creepy behavior.
If you've got any more thoughts on these two's interactions postgame, I'd love to hear.
I dont think it's perfect by any means (nothing on the ship is!) but its proooobably the best quick-solution scenario?
#God I dont even wanna tag this as art ugh#An art#FOR ORGANIZATION#Its true Nagito wouldnt try shit with Sonia or be creepy (also he gay) its just the things that he says#And Sonia is firm on her boundaries there but also patient about the rest. She's the expert diplomat after all#They're both Perfectly Civil after only a little bit and even get friendlier#(and Nagito is probably somewhat glad at least one person outwarly calls him a friend) (more of that to come ofc everyone ends up friendly)#Sonia: you're my friend!#Nagito: I'm sorry you feel pressured to say that. As expected of a princ-#Sonia: PARDON BUT DID I STUTTER.#Nagito: are you sure about rooming with me? It's rotten work.#Sonia: yeah it really fucking is actually. I'll do it though.#Ok I'm done sorry the doodles are unusually shitty it's not cooperating today#'It' what? Yeah
830 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
my mom's true crime youtube channel is nearing 5k subscribers and she's already gotten monetized after three months and keeps getting dozens-to-hundreds of comments per video going "your perspective is so insightful and intelligent!! always excited to hear your analysis of a situation!!"
when we talk she keeps being like "i don't even care about the money, i'm just so excited that people want to listen to what i have to say" and i'm just like. SO proud of her. yes mom thank you GOD. get the recognition and love you deserve. fantastic to witness in real time!!
#as i have mentioned before we both spent a lot of time in a situation with someone who did not give A Fuck what we had to say#seeing her blossom and become so confident in her own perceptions after decades of very literal gaslighting is so. WAH#hell yeah we both got out we're both thriving. even though true crime isnt my thing at all i watch all her vids and read all the comments.#AND IT'S SO NICE. BE NICE TO MY MOM SHE'S LOVELY
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you know this queer character?
Jaskier is Sapioromantic and Pansexual, and uses he/him pronouns!
#hoooo boy okay I found quotes from the actor saying both sapioromantic and pansexual so that's what we're going with#even though the sapioromantic part does not seem to be widely acknowledged in fandom it was mentioned specifically by name#someone also submitted polyamorous but I can't find anything about that so lmk if it's true#jaskier#the witcher#witcher netflix#twn#julian alfred pankratz#tumblr polls#fandom polls#poll#sapioromantic#pansexual#he/him#live action#video game#lgbtqia#do you know this queer character
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
Magical guardian Py!! This is my magical girl sona design ✨
This is the page I drew when finalizing the concept and to serve as reference, but I plan to draw this design a lot more to represent myself! The little fox there is a little magical mascot/familiar based on an imaginary friend I made when I was little kid. I got some more notes about my process below!
A few years back I made a magical girl outfit design for myself because I love magical girl stories and designs, and you can do whatever you want forever! I HIGHLY recommend that anybody who feels comfortable depicting themselves to make a sona based around something you absolutely love. It's a lot of fun!!! I think at this point this design has gone through about 4 main iterations? I expect more tweaks in the future because I always like to have a design that reflects me and currently this is what I'm really vibing with! Tweaking this took SUCH a long time to get to something I really love right now, so this really feels like a triumph. When I set out to design this, I had created a bit of a wishlist of aesthetics and other elements I wanted, and then it was a matter of balancing everything visually and making some choices to remove and heavily tweak aspects of it so it wouldn't be too cluttered or lose visual harmony. I also played around with the lengths of different parts of the outfit for visual interest.
In this design are a few nods to some magical girl designs I still really love, but in recent time I feel like there's been a bit more inspiration from european renaissance fashion seeping in because I've been dabbling into period accurate costuming! Now, it's not at ALL accurate in this design but that's not really the point; I just wanted to give the sleeves and breeches that extra poof 👌 The rest of it just just really self indulgent, like the big butterfly wing cape was an ABSOLUTE must for me. My favourite colour is featured prominently. I wanted the inner wings and bow to look like the night sky or kind of galactic so that all those sparkles would really show up and evoke stars, but the orange pinks on other elements of the outfit compliment the blue-greens and give the look and overall sunset/sunrise at twilight vibe.
Drawn with: Procreate
#piecesbypy#magical guardian py#py sonas#py art pieces#digital art#I do call my sona a magical guardian and magical girl interchangeably#but what you gotta understand is that in this context magical girl is a gender unto itself#Also if you clocked it you get a cookie but if you didn't yes. There is a lot of Revolutionary Girl Utena influence in this design#Even though whether or not that is even a true magical girl show is heavily contested#But I love it so much that I'm gonna draw inspiration from it anyways. It has a lot of magical girl DNA in it#The long cape is probably the Cardcaptor Sakura influence getting in there too although I didn't really intend much reference#Py's weapon being a wand and a rapier is definitely CCS inspired but also a 'why not both' situation#it's not shown here because I still need to take it back to the drawing board on its own#but I hope to figure that out too so I can draw some COOL COMBAT POSES#maybe if I can scrounge up the rest of the magical girl Py designs and put them side by side...it would be cool to see the evolution
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can we also just appreciate that both Katsuki and Izuku are 100% obsessed with each other
#bkdk#bakudeku#these two are next level though#even if it’s platonic#it’s an obsession on both sides#I love these little gremlins so much#izuku midoriya#katsuki bakugo#Bakugo is HARDCORE obsessed with our boy Midoriya#has been most of his life#but the same is 100% true of Izuku#they’re so obsessed with each other and it’s so funny
672 notes
·
View notes
Photo
At it again with my favorite worsties!!!! Divorce when
#detective conan#kisaki eri#mouri kogoro#they're so so bad for each other god bless#local grown adults refusing to get over each other even though they broke up ages ago!!!#not even give up on each other which should be easy as fuck given how their relationship is!!!#also I've been thinking about how consistent ran is in refusing to give up on what she wants to be true#refusing to give up both on shinichi and her parents' marriage#and I think it woud be a very satisfying end to that parallel if her faith in her parents ended up being futile#and she had to learn that not everything can be ideal#because she for sure is ending up with shinichi innit#other than that their trainwreck of a relationship is so funny and entertaining to me#many angst thoughts about eri in relation to her feelings for kogoro too#*chefs kiss*#edogawa conan#sonoko suzuki#mouri ran#kudo shinichi#my art#dcmk#that final o looks like shit but like who give a fuck I got tired lol
431 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their#relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing#whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be#no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]
imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.
she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.
she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.
she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.
they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.
even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.
she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.
she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.
"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.
"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.
he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.
"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."
"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.
"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.
"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.
"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"
"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.
"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."
she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.
she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.
"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."
her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.
the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.
Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.
the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.
so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.
#omage to Aemma's robe that we see alicent wearing in episode 3 (I believe. it was when she was helping bathe viserys)#cause I know he made her wear it cause he's a monster#this is set prior to Helaena's conception. aegon is tiny. and alicent is still naive to the true extents of viserys's abuse.#especially to the fact that despite all of the love she holds for her children and how badly she wishes to always pick them first#his abuse and the stockholm syndrom that follow it will turn her against her children. aegon in particular.#maybe not against. but acrid and foul. her pain overtaking her love. she still tries so hard to protect them though. if you get what I mean#its otto's fault too and they should both die#anyway#I'm just in my feels with these two#we didn't get enough scenes of them together especially when they were both young and I wanted to give alicent a moment were she fought bac#she refused to give him what he wanted. she chose her child over him. she stood up for herself and what she wanted.#she earned that moment#I know she was choking through those “my dears” and “my loves” but she had to for formalities sake#angst in the front fluff in the back#even if the fluff is laced with angst#letting alicent be soft and love her son#I needed it#aegon targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#alicent hightower#anti viserys i targaryen#pro team green#hotd#house of the dragon#I love them your honor
271 notes
·
View notes