#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own
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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#havenāt been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#itās just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here thatās not a question theyāve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works theyāre directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallasās issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallasās ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someoneās hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going āHEY STAB HEREā#so in their mind by doing this theyāre giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that theyāre standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is sheās finally found the balance in their#relationship sheās finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallasās dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallasās terms is the thing#whether theyāre aware of that or not. agnes wouldnāt have anything if pallas didnāt actively choose to be vulnerable with her thereād be#no way sheād learn about anything no way sheād get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and theyāre#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
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