#even tho I know it doesn’t matter
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Just two wood elves in love~
#i will never get over the body freckles#they’re just so 👌👌👌#also the lighting doesn’t do either of them justice#lyari is still the only Tav who hasn’t built his own background and personality while I played#he did however change into a ranger from a rogue and I completely restarted his campaign for it#literally only because I had been choosing rogue dialogue options#even tho I know it doesn’t matter#but I love him dearly he’s so damn pretty in good lighting#I’ll have to get some shots of him#halsin#halsin x tav#bg3#my screenshots
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin
#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her#and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her#like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop#like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance#and if it benefits them even a little#lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it#and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to#and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced#but it came with Orin and punishments for failing#and her being literallly mind controlled into her#so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it#but then there’s you who pulled her out of that#who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you#and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would#and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it#of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you#that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering#you literally gave her the opposite#she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god#you could be tho#Minthara#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3
532 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’ve been seeing multiple people tho point out that the movie IS supposed to be the 3rd drb where there are multiple outcomes and therefore no real winner. which doesn’t make much sense to me storytelling wise, but it’s something to keep in mind!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#like this is the drb that’s supposed to matter lol#they’re framing the true hypnosis mic as the way to carve the true path#and yeah the drbs have never had an impact on the story before but it’s the last one c’mon now let it actually mean something for once 😭😭😭😭#like lol i remember seeing a post mocking the decision to make the movie decide all outcomes#and wondering if they would even acknowledge the 3rd in the story atp and someone else commented they’d probably slice of life it#like have the characters go ‘man that 3rd drb sure was something!!!!!🤗’ AND LMAOOOO#i think tho once all or even one division knows that the power of three can wield the true hypnosis mic safely#it opens the door for a handful of the divisions!!!! fp and mtr esp lol but one winner doesn’t negate progression!!!!!#and like duh lol i can just already see the ways this drb potentially will not matter lol
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
when i make modern aus i try to find the equivalent of canon to have the characterization as close as possible, and i was trying to think of how to explain sunday and aventurine’s penacony beef. and tbh i still haven’t decided but i have determined the funniest:
aventurine and robin go through a crisis as young adults (late teens, early 20s) and briefly date before realizing neither of them are into each other and becoming friends, and sunday has never fully recovered from the ~2 weeks where they dated.
#thoughts#hsr#aventurine#sunday hsr#robin hsr#like would this happen realistically. no. is it really funny to me. yes#i’m kinda obsessed w the concept of sunday saying something that aven doesn’t like & him immediately turning around to flirt w robin#like robin knows he’s not serious but she’s willing to go along w it for the free ice cream & dinner#… this literally only works within aus where robin & aven r on good terms tho.#like my reverse au or a modern au. as a middle child i think younger sibs have the right to horrify their older sibs#tbh i think sunday & aven tend to just instantly dislike each other no matter whether or not they’re working together or not#like solely bc they’re so similar. it strikes a wrong chord in them even if they’re willing to be cordial#like congrats. here’s a shitty mirror of u.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ‘don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Constantly torn between genuinely loving the remake timeline’s depiction of Reeve and Cait and being immensely sad that pretty much all of my favorite lines of theirs from the original were totally excised or bc of plot developments will never be said
#Reeve is never going to argue with barret about the reactor bombings. bc the immense damage wasnt avalanches fault and he knows it.#he also looks a lot more wishy washy as a result. which I’m not a big fan of admittedly#his hypocrisy is something I like in the original bc it makes sense. the damage Shinra causes is something he can turn a blind eye to#bc hes so focused on midgar’s development and improving the reactors to better the lives of the ppl who live there#the reactors blowing up and killing ppl is his direct jurisdiction and he cares a lot about the ppl in the city. and so!#avalanche frustrates him even when he knows logically speaking that they have legitimate reasons for the things they do#(like this is additional canon but not least of all bc his fucking mom lives in the city.)#starting him out as already sympathetic to avalanche robs him of like. half his arc#also he’s so much angrier in the original to me whereas in the remake he’s so sad. and both are understandable!#but I liked the anger. I liked it so much#and Cait doesn’t get to have his lovely request for the party to not forget him before he’s crushed in the temple.#bc that sacrifice mattered to that version of him even if he can be replaced!!!#I do love his extra dialogue when holding up the altar in rebirth it’s great but!!!#SIGH.#idk man I love their original depictions deeply and I feel like they got shifted into being more sympathetic but less complex. it’s a shame#still love them tho. I would kill and die for rebirth Cait#text#Reeve tuesti#Cait sith#I think about them so much and I wish ppl appreciated their original arcs more#ff7
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol ok so i ordered the new my sims bundle while it was on sale off of amazon like a week ago, and it was supposed to come today and i was really excited to start playing/maybe sharing some screenshots here and there, but then it got delayed until the new year smh.
it’s ok tho ig, not like it was a xmas present and also idk i just feel bad for the delivery people rn lol so anyways be nice to people and happy holidays! <3
#chatter#like ik it lowkey doesn’t matter bc like people still order stuff and delivery people r still out there rn working#but idk in my head it makes me feel kinda better that like they don’t have to come to my house before Xmas?#idk if that makes sense but to me it almost feels like they can actually enjoy the holidays even tho i know they’re still working#idk if that makes any sense at all I should stop talking lol#but ig the tldr is that I ordered my sims and I’m excited to play it lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Art challenge: color a characters hair without making the parts that should be in shadow / shaded / darker than the rest of the hair a lighter color instead.
Difficulty level: IMPOSSIBLE
#idk. when I started doing this. but once I started I never stopped. I can’t stop#I cannot shade hair normally I CANNOT make the behind the neck under ear area a darker color I CANT#I USED TO BE ABLE TO BUT NOW I CANT#even acknowledging it as a thing I do I still.. can’t#it’s always gotta be lighter#there is always some mysterious bounce light or spotlight shining upwards on the character or thru there hair iDK#there is no physical sense behind it I think I just saw other ppl do it thought it looked pretty and started doing it myself#and. I still think it looks pretty ! but also! I think it’s probably holding me back!#like surely there is a time and a place for this pretty thing and maybe that time isn’t ALWAYS#at myself… ghghg my refusal to think hard about lighting is one of the things I get disappointed about w my art a bit#like… I can sit there like. wow.. almost all my pictures have nebulous unclear lighting. maybe I should work on that#and then I do not ever work on that#I used to do lighting pretty well when I was younger but know a days I typically dont…#le sigh. it’s whatever tho#either I’ll eventually buckle down and get out of my comfort zone and try doing good clear lighting that makes sense#or I won’t! I’m not a professional artist me not being the best lighting doesn’t actually matter lol#pepper words#I mean. I think sometimes I have managed to color hair with the underside shaded recently. but it rlly is not the norm for my art#typically it mostly only happens if the character has a light base hair color. if they have a darker base hair color.#9 times out of 10 that shit is getting under lighting / nebulous highlights from nowhere lol
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
No pls col I know u wanna tell us it doesn’t matter, but I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHO IS THE KHUN VAD REINCARNATE
#century of love#IDK the one writing this story prob didn’t have any good ideas about making it convincing#they prob have no good reason to tell us why Vee is Khun Vad and why Khun Vad did not reincarnate with the same face#COME ON#I waited so long for it#TT#ok but I can also accept that it doesn’t matter#but wouldn’t it be even greater to know that San made his choice by his own will even tho he was told who the Khun Vad reincarnate is?#I mean if it was Vee; San was rejecting him from the get go and finally he fell in love with him#it’s by his will#and even if it turns out Vee is Khun Vad reincarnate it doesn’t take the story away that San made his choice before any “confirmation
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel bad about something -> i pick at my skin to relieve stress -> i get upset about the damage i just did to myself -> i keep picking because i don’t know how else to ‘fix’ the problem i just made -> i realize how much time ive wasted doing all of this -> i continue picking even after it becomes actually painful as ‘punishment’ -> i finally get tired and/or something else calls my attention and i stop, clean up, and attempt to move on with my day -> i feel bad about everything that just happened -> i continue to feel bad about this and everything that happens afterwards until i can’t take it anymore and need a release so i don’t implode -> rinse and repeat
#i feel like this most likely qualifies as#self harm#even though it’s generally not in the traditional sense. whatever.#i’ve reached a point where most of the time it doesn’t even hurt anymore like there’s sensation but it’s not pain per se. usually when i#start to feel actual pain i stop because i don’t want to do any actual lasting damage#sometimes tho i feel like i just fall into a frenzy. theres something bad and evil underneath my skin#and while i don’t know what it is i’ve been aware of it all my life and am constantly striving to excise it#because it is the source of all my flaws and faults and the cause of everything bad that’s ever happened to me#someday i’ll get rid of it entirely but no matter how close i get it eludes me#<- damn okay we get it you have compulsions … relax dude
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
never going to get past matrix resurrections choosing to make neo someone with a distorted perception of reality being gaslit and manipulated into compliance by his therapist, i’m so normal about it
#N posts stuff#i’ve written a fic about this like. three times but i keep losing the final draft bc i get too nervous about posting it#anyway there’s no way to interpret neo any differently imo#even tho he’s ultimately right about the world being a simulation he exists in the world uncertain of Both options#the world he’s in is real but it might not be. the matric isn’t real but it could be. he doesn’t Know and he can’t Tell#regardless of ‘which is right’ this state of being is Still a distorted sense of reality#and it’s not something being Put Upon him it’s something being Used Against him - there’s a difference#he’s not Certain of one and having to stay stalwart under the analyst insisting something different about the world#he can’t tell which is real and he Relies on the analyst to differentiate For him - and the analyst takes Advantage of that to lie to him#and even when it’s obvious the analyst is Wrong neo isn’t Allowed to question him bc ‘he’s the crazy one’#doesn’t matter which world is real - neos uncertainty Still IS an uncertainty in reality - delusion with insight / double book keeping#Also so normal about model morpheus reaching out an arm to let neo grab his sleeve as a reality check#without saying anything or drawing attention to it in any way - just tacit understanding and help#i'm SO normal about that moment guys Trust me
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
mannnnnnnnbb fuck November I’m so tired of feeling lonely in my own life.
#lee’s bullshit#even being in [redacted] will not save you from the depths of November#trying to remind myself things are always changing and I can’t stop putting myself out there but I am tired.#what I am doing clearly is not enough in any respect and I am tired of feeling so worn to the bone all the time.#huge social miss today at the function. woke up late and ruined the schedule. couldn’t make a clear decision on dinner.#haven’t found a replacement roommate. haven’t finished my portfolio. haven’t applied to internships. haven’t finished my final project.#behind on everything and with every step I take I get pulled further and further backwards.#my roommate is graduating early and i feel like it’s my fault.#i shouldn’t blame myself for someone else’s bad behavior but im still beating myself up for being a cause for it.#my other roommate wants to move out to live on her own next year.#also blaming myself for that even tho its always on me to fix the mess of housing every damn semester#I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough and even when I am that it just simply doesn’t matter.#saw one of my friends today but only for an hour. texting the group is like sending a blind pigeon out in a gale.#I know that things will get better but it’s just so hard . if someone genuinely asked how I was doing I could cry on the spot.#none of my friends are close enough anymore not at home not at school not in my family. there’s nowhere to go.#just tired. Going to go to bed soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think a lot of people irl think i might be a lesbian just because i am so picky about men. cause most of the time im like eh he’s okay. oh he’s not my type. no i dont think that guy is hot. so they just assume i dont like men at all. which is. fair
#like if you asked me if i think a girl is pretty it doesn’t matter who it is or what they look like im going to say yes because women omg#women..wow#but if you asked me i think a boy is cute there is a 80/20 chance i say no. and a 50/50 i say#actually i think he’s really ugly#..i feel like i need to add a disclaimer even tho i know no one cares#but im not trying to imply that like. how ‘attractive’ someone dictates their value as a person#like if i call someone ugly it isn’t necessarily an insult in my mind i just don’t think they’re attractive#but someone else probably does! and that’s great! i don’t!#sometimes i get myself in trouble talking like that…i don’t *mean* it as an insult it’s just a fact in my brain#like. the fact is i think this person is ugly. maybe they’re a wonderful person! great! other people probably fine them cute! but i don’t.#and that’s just objectively true information. i forget not everyone’s on the same train of thought as i am :’)#anyways. idk what point im trying to make.#oh. i also have my guard up around men a lot more than i do around women#i don’t go out of my way to be rude but i’m more likely to get myself out of talking g to a man#than i am to a woman. not that anyone does talk to me#but if a girl compliments me im like wow! i feel so special and wonderful uwu#if a boy compliments me im like….the fuck do you want from me#ppl see this and are like wow she must just not like boys#idk#snow.txt
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is there a single witch in this little corner of the MCU whose life isn’t completely fucking depressing
#likeeee baby ik that’s on brand for Marvel in general#but yall got me fucked UP#i already knew how SAD agatha’s life was#but then i watched wandavision and got depressed#like damn no one giving these girlies a BREAK#agatha harkness#wanda maximoff#AND THEN I WATCHED AAA AND GOT EVEN MORE DEPRESSED#BC WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ABSOLUTE BABY HAD A GENERATIONAL CURSE THAT WAS SO BAD THAT HER MOM HAD TO TWIST THE BALLAD AS A PROTECTION SPELL#AND IT DIDN’T EVEN WORK#AND WDYM THIS KOOKY OLD BAT WAS REALLY JUST SUFFERING FROM TERRIBLE PTSD BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T SAVE HER COVEN BUT COULD HAVE#AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ABSOLUTE HBIC HAS BEEN BOUND FOR A HUNDRED YEARS AND SHE’S ANGUISHED BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW#there’s the bastard child that defies the very laws of creation by existing but he Really Shouldn’t#and then something terrible happens and he has no idea who or what he is but he knows He’s not HIMSELF#and it troubles him so MUCH that he creates a fictional set of Trials in his desperation to figure it out#killing Most of the people that would even have a slim understanding of who he is#AND GOD OKAY#YOU HAVE A WITCH THAT WAS BETRAYED BY HER FAMILY THE ONLY PEOPLE SHE’S EVER TRUSTED#AND SHE KILLS THEM EVEN THO SHE DOESN’T MEAN TO#AND THE ONE ENTITY IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO UNDERSTAND HER IS DEATH#AND HER CHILD FUCKING DIES BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO LIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE SO SHE BECOMES DESPERATE TO FEEL ANYTHING BUT HER ANGUISH#AND THRU NO FAULT OF HER OWN SHE GOES THRU CENTURIES OF BEING CALLED A MONSTER A KILLER AND EVIL#NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE TELLS PEOPLE SHE CAN TRY TO BE GOOD#SO IN THE END SHE JUST LETS PEOPLE BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE#I JUST#WOW#i could also write a loose comprehensive essay on wanda but I did only watch clips from the movies to understand her#but she’s just like agatha in the sense that people call her evil for just being Desperate and Sad and Alone and what else can she do#she just has to go with it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cyberpunk 2077 is my favorite anti-capitalist game that I spent 70 dollars to play
#like is it worth 70 dollars#I Guess?#I know it took years and so many people to actually put this game together#and the basegame and dlc for seventy dollars total is such a steal in comparison to say#a certain life simulator game I play#but the actual game Cyberpunk in itself is so inaccessible already#like my gaming laptop can run the sims with all dlc and custom content on ultra graphics EASY#buy trying to run cyberpunk even on the lowest graphics is like#ROUGH#and like paying 70 dollars for the LOWEST graphics setting is pretty mid#like yeah they got Keanu Reeves as the cool brain parasite#but that only speaks to me on a personal level because I have a mental health issue that causes me to have Keanu Reeves as a brain parasite#in my actual real life#the story is so great but there’s so many side quests that no matter how many hours I play the game for I’ll never actually COMPLETE it#cyberpunk is my FAVORITE game and I do NOT regret buying it bc the story is there the world is there the characters are there#but it feels so superficial knowing I spent a quarter of my paycheck to spend 30 hours being like#‘that’s right Johnny Silverhand we should fuck em up’#i think it’s more that cyberpunk feels like a story the world really needs right now#but it’s only accessible to such a niche group of people#especially since the game got so much hate on launch#and yeah there is the anime now but the anime doesn’t even TOUCH a VAST MAJORITY of night city#the anime doesn’t have the same depth and wonder that the game has because the game is about a city and the show is about 1 group of people#cyberpunk 2077 really resonated with me in such a unique way and I love it so much I can’t even begin to describe my hyperfixation#but the graphics and first person camera give me motion sickness#and my wallet cried for three days when I bought the game#and so much of the actual political ideology is lost on me Because of the price point#I’m gonna play it anyway tho bc I’ve never seen my own brain parasites represented as video game characters before#twink speaks#Twink plays cyberpunk 2077#not cc
3 notes
·
View notes