#and while i don’t know what it is i’ve been aware of it all my life and am constantly striving to excise it
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ittybittyfanblog · 3 days ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition)
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus (+ maybe the other MLs!) and an oblivious player. That’s it, that’s the plot. Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, maybe some suggestive language?? will add more tags as the story progresses A/N: This is gonna be a multi-chapter fic! I’m still not sure whether to do the boys in rotation, or just focus on one ML per series. Don’t take my word for it atp tho – I’m not even sure if I can actually finish a series lol.  Also, I’ve had the creative liberty of changing stuff from the actual gameplay here and there. (Except for the self-awareness. That’s most definitely real.) Hope you enjoy~!
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Chapter 1
It’s a quarter past eight and you’re still on your desk working overtime on a Friday night. 
You let out a big sigh, leaning back on your office chair after an unhealthy duration of bad posture from hours of slouching down in front of your computer. There’s nothing ergonomic about the way this job is killing you, and the ache in your lower back can attest to that. 
An irate orange tabby plops himself in front of you, blocking your view of the glaring screen and you figure that it’s time for a break. 
“Me-oow.”
“I know, I know,” You answer tiredly, standing up to dodge a stray paw clawing your way and you hear cracks in three different places that are honestly unbecoming of a woman your age. You haven’t even reached thirty yet, for god’s sake. “I’m a bad mother. But mom also had to skip dinner to make it to the seven PM meeting, so cut me some slack, okay?” 
A high-pitched “meooowr!” is the only response you get; it seems like there’s no excusing late dinner time this time around. 
As much as you’d like to hem and haw and complain, the main reason why you’re still keeping this job is because you can work remotely. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re stuck most days at home working hours past your regular nine to five, having to be on-call around the clock at all times, and that you’ve consumed more sodium than a nitrite victim with the way you live off cup ramen, then, really, it beats working in an office where you’d physically have to clock in and out from exactly nine to five. 
Your right eye twitches. No, I have not fallen in love with the system that exploits me, thank you very much. 
“Here is your Fancy Feast, your highness,” you tell the hungry feline who’s already ignoring the hand that feeds for the bowl full of white fish paté. He eats healthier than you, sure, but you work like this for him to eat like this. The life of a single mom is an uphill battle, but extremely rewarding. 
You raise your hand to pat your son’s head lovingly, aborting the gesture halfway when you hear a warning growl. Alright, tough crowd. 
After nuking a half-eaten takeout box in the microwave and grabbing a cold Bundaberg from the fridge, you hunker down on the “chaise lounge” (see: an old wingback and a rattan ottoman you’ve refurbished as a makeshift seat a few weeks back when you had guests over) for a late meal. 
You barely register the taste of lukewarm rice on your tongue, mouth moving mechanically while your mind runs on autopilot about everything and nothing at the same time. 
Maybe it’s time to check Jobstreet again
Is there like a laundromat near the area that’s open twenty four seven
Eugh, I hate cold peas
What do we feel about Chromakopia? 
I will… die alone
I really need to stock on some fresh produce this weekend–
Ping! 
A notification from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts – and like a well-trained dog pavlov’d into responding, you visibly perk up at the sight of your lock screen lighting up and the familiar banner you’ve already memorized by heart. 
Your Galaxy Explorer rewards are here. Did you put my hotel’s address as the shipping address? 
Ah, just like clockwork. 
You press on it with a quiet, bubbling anticipation, chewing on the plastic spork as you wait impatiently for the silly mobile game that’s been your short respite at intervals – for more than you’d care to admit – to boot up. 
Offhandedly, you wish that the devs would add more variations to the game’s push notifications; more random, personalized stuff like maybe a reminder to drink water, or a fun update about their day. What you’d give – pay – for a: "Less on the overtime, kitten. I miss you,” dialogue from a certain character, but you digress. 
Oh, well. Probably better this way, lest you dig yourself deeper into delusion. 
The game greets you with the usual picturesque view of a silver-haired man sitting cross-legged on a chair, looking all the bit at ease in his signature crimson and white button up. The warm ambience of the Destiny Café at night draws you in, already pulling your attention away from the never-ending stream of thoughts in your brain. 
“Before seeing you, I thought today would be another dull day,“ Sylus comments airily. The way he drawls out the words in that deep timbre of his voice never fails to make your heart flutter – just a teeeensy bit.
“Ever the charmer,” you sigh happily in return, situating yourself more comfortably on the sofa, almost horizontal from how far you’re leaning back on the cushion. “You’re looking awfully normal tonight. What, no pineapple glasses for your favorite girl?” 
Having bypassed the initial cringe of talking to yourself after literal months of gameplay, it almost comes off natural, the banter. You’ve already accepted the fact that you’re crazy about a fictional, pixelated man – what’s pretending to have actual conversations with him gonna do? It’s not as if he actually hears you yap your nonsense; there are worse things in the world than a parasocial attachment to an otome game character. 
Your little jab at the sometimes random addition to his choice of attire earns you a laugh from the man itself– or at least it looks as though it does, making you blink momentarily in surprise. Happy coincidence, I guess.
You shake your head, cracking a smile, then proceed to do the routine of completing the daily agenda and then some. 
It’s tedious business, sure. You’ve dedicated hours upon hours on this game and you’re honestly starting to feel pretty bored with some of the gameplay elements, but you *do* like the ritualistic nature of ticking off the tasks one by one. It’s almost ironic – the way you dutifully do one thing after the other in this game, just to avoid the pile of work that’s waiting for you in real life. 
It’s not as if anything, or anyone’s relying on you to do your daily log-ins, so you suppose it’s due to that lack of pressure as well. 
Pulling yourself away from the five-star Xavier memory card you’ve grinded to level seventy, you stare despondently at the sad little 2 on your remaining energy. The embarrassing amount of materials you lack to ascend the card seem to mock you, even as you exit the Memories window. Another goal for another day, perhaps.
All tasks on the daily agenda are complete, except for one that you’ve always saved for last.
You’re met with a standing Sylus on the game’s home screen, arms crossed and wearing an expression you’d almost describe as impatient, if you didn’t know any better. The sight makes you grin. 
Cheekily, you poke his crotch.
You’re looking forward to getting a playful remark, or if you’re lucky, a blush along with an embarrassed retort about your shamelessness. 
 What you get, however, is a resounding scoff. Your eyes snap back to his face – from, ahem, your prolonged staring at the area below his waist – and you do see the familiar tinge of pink on his cheeks, but what he says in response catches you off-guard.
“You spend that much resource for a card that isn’t mine?” Sylus tsks, both his voice and expression coming across as… affronted? “Kitten, I’m actually hurt.” 
Huh?
You haven’t heard that line from him before. Was there a recent update you weren’t aware of? The man in question then appears to look amused, from the way you’ve been rendered speechless by the unexpected dialogue. 
All at once, you gasp when you realize what the new response means. 
“That’s so smart,” you say giddily. You see Sylus cock his head to the side, synchronously quirking an eyebrow—expectant. “They actually added a feature that lets them know which memory I’ve upgraded last, and make you react to it. Oh, that’s so cool!” 
If you weren’t too busy being excited over what you think is a new update from the game,  you’d see the chagrined look on Sylus’ face. But when you glance back at him, all trace of the emotion is gone before you could notice anything different. 
“Don’t worry, Crow Man. You’re still my favorite,” you assure him, making his mouth tick upwards in a semblance of a smile. He looks pleased all of the sudden, his demeanor shifting into something more relaxed.
Then a pout forms on your face. You crinkle your nose in frustration as you complain, “It’s just really hard to level your cards up at this point. It takes ages and a shit ton of energy just to level you up past seventy five.” Sighing, you add, kind of bitterly, “And I’m too broke to be spending money on growth packs.” 
Checking the time on your phone, you see that you’ve already spent more than an hour on your self-imposed break time and you know that you ought to get back to work soon. With a groan, you pull yourself to sit upright, savoring the last few minutes of free time before you slave off for the rest of the night. 
You’re about to clean up what’s left of dinner when you notice the oddly thoughtful look on Sylus’ face. 
There’s a deep furrow in his brows as he brings a hand up to cover his mouth. He closes his eyes shut for a few seconds. He's never done that gesture before... Ugh, he looks really hot–
Suddenly, you see a flicker— then a weird, sort of graphic distortion happening in the background. Uh, what??
A beat; then a glitch on the screen. “Ah, shit.” 
The game crashes.
You exhale loudly as the game’s interface goes back to the loading screen, tapping your thumb impatiently as the bar slowly loads to 15%... 50%..... 81%....... 
“Maybe make sure to patch up first before releasing an update next time, jeez— Huh?” 
For a quick second, nothing seems to be amiss. But then the first thing you see on the home screen is Sylus’ figure standing before you, wearing an expression one could only describe as a cat that ate the proverbial canary. 
He speaks— and it’s another intro you haven’t heard him say, ever. 
“You should’ve told me sooner, sweetie,” he almost coos the words out, making your eyes bug out in shock. 
“Now, why don’t you go check your–” he pauses, and his mouth moves as if he’s rolling the word out, testing it. “Inventory?” 
Sylus slides his gaze towards the upper left corner of the screen, a coy smirk still ever-present on his face. 
There, you see something you haven’t noticed earlier: two notification badges. One on your mailbox, and another on the Hunter’s Info tab. Bewildered, you press on the mail icon first, despite the insistence for you to start with the latter. 
You see a new message: [For You]
A small gift, to bridge our worlds closer. – S 
Nothing is attached to it. You read it twice, perplexed.  
“You’re quite the contradictorian, aren’t you?” Sylus tuts as soon as you return back to the home screen, his gaze boring into you even when he tilts his head sideways in mock exasperation. “Mmm, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Take all the time you need, sweetheart.” 
Helplessly, you open your inventory next. 
Your jaw drops. 
“What. The fuck,” You whisper to yourself, voice wavering in disbelief at what you’re seeing, and the sheer amount of what you’re seeing. “This– this can’t be real.” 
You see that all the materials you own, from the bottle of wishes to the ascension crystal boxes, have been multiplied a hundred times over.
And on top of that–
Ninety nine thousand red dias????
You cannot believe how this– this recent… update (or is it a bug? Infold sure isn’t this generous) didn't make the news. Even as someone as uninvolved as you are with the community and the game’s latest releases, something like this for sure would’ve made headlines on Twitter (X), at least. But you haven’t heard anything. Nada. 
Holy shit. 
You feel a little light-headed, both from incredulity and excitement. Needing a moment to calm yourself down, you exit the Inventory tab in a daze.
You stare at Sylus. He stares back at you with what looks to be mirth in his eyes. 
Skeptically, you mutter, “did–did I get hacked or something?” 
Anticipating another unexpected dialogue to prompt up, you wait for a full minute without saying anything else. And for a moment, the man in front of you looks indecisive, contemplative. 
There’s something very odd, very… human in the way he’s looking at you. He looks as if– as if he’s—
His face falls back into a neutral expression. Not unlike how his idle animation usually looks. 
..
….. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to initiate a conversation any time soon, so you hesitantly poke him on the nose. 
“Even in the worst-case scenario, there’s no need to panic.”
You’ve heard that one before.
So he’s back to normal now. You temper the small disappointment that blooms in your gut. 
Shaking your head slowly, you try to make sense of all the stuff that just happened, but a sharp bite on your ankle pulls you out of your reverie. 
“Ow–!” The sight of your cat flopping near your feet reminds you of the time. More importantly, the backlogs waiting for you at your desk. 
“Wait, shit– I gotta get back to work.” This… unbelievable stroke of good luck (?) is gonna have to take a backseat for now.
You grab the carton box and the half-empty bottle of sparkling peach as you stand up. Making quick work of throwing the container in the trash and gulping down the rest of your drink, you rush into your room and back in front of your PC. 
Cracking your knuckles, you gingerly set your phone against the monitor. Setting the timer to one hour in Quality Time, knowing fully-well that you’re going to have to keep extending it until the wee hours of the morning – or until your battery dies, whichever comes first – you give Sylus one last look, letting out a long exhale before locking in.
“Just keep me company for the night, alright? I’ll figure out what’s going on once my shift’s over.” 
It could just be your overactive imagination, but you swear you hear a quiet chuckle from the man polishing his gun in your peripheral.
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greeniegaes · 3 days ago
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Thinking about Omega SQQ again sigh
Okay. So warning this is a male lactation AU so if you don’t like that don’t read, nothing explicit happens tho, just a guy and his pups
I imagine when he first goes into his body everything feels like he’s in haywire, constantly on edge and ready for a fight. Once he’s gotten the hang of things he uses his cultivation to try and simmer down his hormones.
Only to realize it was his cultivation preventing hormones that was making him feel like shit all the time.
So eventually he sighs and stops doing that. The first few days are bad, cramps and sickness and a general feeling of wanting to claw everyone’s eyes out. He gets through that though.
Then his breasts start to come in.
He knew PIDW has its weirder parts of omegaverse so he knew that this would happen. At first he starts binding his chest but that hurts SO SO SO much that he collapses on like the third day (he was also doing it improperly because it’s him, yk) and gets stuffed into Qian Cao
MQF: I was not aware shixiong was an omega
SQQ: I’ve only recently decided to stop holding myself back
MQF: it is recommended that you form a small pack of your disciples to help with your instincts and… that *waving at SQQs chest.*
SQQ: *screams internally.* Okay :)
At this point after like a week of just draining himself and going insane he finally gives up. LBH has already started living in the bamboo hut so he’s kinda the best option so he sits the boy down.
SQQ: Binghe, I hope you know this isn’t going to change anything but
LBH, thinking: oh my god no please don’t kick me out
SQQ: since this master has allowed his omega side back out he’s been struggling with his urges about thinking of his disciples like pups. If it’s not an offense to your character can I take some of it out on you
LBH, internally: YES YES YES PLEASE OH GOD YES I NEED IT
LBH, externally: If that would please shizun then sure :]
So they start a twice daily thing of in the morning and night LBH goes into SQQs room and his nest and gets feed. Apparently milk is hella good for the skin and shit because after a few weeks he starts to look flawless somehow.
And SQQ really wants to see his other kids- DISCIPLES flourish like that. He extends the offer to a close few and some look like they going to cry at the honor of their teacher wanting to take care of them.
LBH is still the main drinker and always wants to huff when he has to share, but he does it none the less. His Shizun gets really cute during feeding sessions, purring and chirping at them, fixing their hair and playing with it, scratching their scalp, the whole nine yards.
So LBH repays it by feeding SQQ more, which also makes him have more milk in turn. He huffs and complains at his body’s need to produce so much, his chest wayyy too heavy in the middle of the day to be comfortable, leaking and wasting everything.
He ignored that though, even if LBH and his other pups- disciples offer to help him.
Eventually after the Abyss his body is still making big amounts of milk because that’s what it was used to. Most of the time he just gets it out himself and pours it into the grass, often now also starting his other feedings.
Everything starts to get to him and he’s decided that staying on the mountain is no good. So he sneaks out, by himself, in search of something to heal his heart.
All the peak lords and disciples are going crazy, nobody can find him and nobody knows where he could’ve gone. Eventually while LQG is talking to a random villager out in a border town of their territory he sees SQQ again, arms filled with two pudgy babies and looking ever so pleased.
SQQ: Oh! Hi Shidi
SQQ internally: OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECT
LQG: where have you been???
SQQ: sorry sorry babies are hard work I didn’t want to travel alone with them
LQG, wanting to have an aneurysm but can’t: let me just help you home
On one hand the entire sect is so relieved that SQQ didn’t die of heartbreak over losing his favorite pup or get kidnapped. On the other hand SQQ??? Where’d you’d acquire those babies?? They aren’t yours, it’s only been 6 months!!
Anyways after SQQ is safely back in the sect he doesn’t see a point in leaving. I mean! Look! Look at his pups! So cute and round! One of them has little dimples!
The other peak lords carefully go to see what was going on, YQY opening the door to the bamboo house after being told to come in and all of them are just smacked with happy omega pheromones, SQQ gently cradling them both in his arms as he rocks in a chair.
At that point all of the peak lords decide that yk, maybe it doesn’t matter how the children were acquired. They were well feed and cared for and obviously SQQ was happy again.
(He got the children from a working in the WRP, she had wanted babies and all her sisters were supportive but then she realized she didn’t like being a parent but you also can’t morally just… dispose of a child. SQQ visited there once in his depression stoop and stayed for a few days after falling in love with the kiddos. Then he just went on an adventure with his babies and got distracted by the cool world building.)
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ladykailitha · 2 days ago
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The Hellfire Exotic Club Part 11
Welp.
Fuck.
Good news for you guys, bad new for me. I accidentally labeled two chapters as Chapter 12. There AREN'T thirteen chapters. There are FOURTEEN.
So I'll figure out when to post the extra chapter. But in the meantime:
Enjoy Eddie giving the denouement. Like that's it. That's whole chapter.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
~
Eddie called everyone into the club. Billy Hargrove, Heather Holloway, Nancy Wheeler, Jason Carver, Wayne and all his crew. The only one that wasn’t there was his ace in the hole.
“Thank you all for coming,” Eddie said, sitting on the edge of the stage while everyone sat around in the tables.
Hilariously Nancy and Jason sat as far apart from Billy as possible. What was even more hilarious was that Billy, Stella, and Heather formed a weird triangle trying to keep their distance without looking like it was deliberate.
“Just so everyone is aware,” he said with a grin. “Everything is be recorded, audio and visual.” He pointed to the cameras.
Nancy frowned, but merely crossed her arms and said nothing.
“These past couple of months have been the hardest the club has ever faced,” he began, “in all its history of being opened. And everyone just kept telling me it was bad luck. That bad news comes in waves and that we would ride this out same as always. But it all felt so contrived and I could not figure out why.”
“The absolute arrogance!” Jason huffed. “Thinking you know better than God!”
“Oh honey,” Eddie purred. “I’d have to believe in him to think that. Which I don’t, so shut it. “
Jason grumbled, but wisely settled down.
“Everyone also seemed to think this all started with the arrival of Steve,” he said, causing Steve to flush in embarrassment. “But Steve only got hired because I needed a new Envy.”
“Which I still think is bullshit,” Billy huffed. “What I do off the clock is none of your God damned business.”
Eddie shrugged. “And normally I would agree with you, Billy but you add in it was the mayor’s daughter and I wasn’t going to court legal trouble. But somehow I did anyway. So why?”
Everyone looked around at each other, trying to suss out who was to blame.
“You see I was missing a piece of the puzzle,” Eddie said, leaping off the stage to his feet. “And hooboy, did I get it when I talked to Jonathan Byers.”
Nancy’s head shot up, her jaw slack and her eyes wide. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to this gibberish.” She got to her feet and grabbed her purse.
“What’s matter, Nancy?” Steve said, sidling up Eddie. “Don’t you want to hear how Eddie figured out your scheme?”
Her head snapped around. “There is no scheme it’s all in the deluded mind of the this deranged individual. I will not be part of this.”
“You’re fianceé will probably get arrested,” Eddie said with a half shrug. “For her part in the scheme.”
Nancy turned around slowly. “I’m dating Jonathan. You just said my fianceé was female. A her.”
Jonathan came out from backstage. “That’s right, I’ve been the other man for years. But it was okay with Heather because she got off on cuckolding with other men, too.”
Everyone gasped as they turned to look at Heather.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed, examining her nails.
“You see,” Eddie said, “it always struck me as odd that she would still have a fiancé after being caught with Billy. But there was never any indication that they had broken up. But when Jonathan had told me about the photography studio I got it. Steve wasn’t supposed have been involved at all. It was an accident and one that sent Nancy scrambling.”
He started walking around the room pointing out all the players. “Billy got played as much as Jonathan did. I’m not sure how Nancy got to Stella, but Stella was supposed to target whoever it was that I hired to replace Billy.”
“For all your talk of equals,” Stella spat, “the men still out numbered us women two to one. All she had to do was ask, though she paid me too. I didn’t realize that she was planned on shutting the place down. I thought she was trying to get you to sell it.”
“Then go to a different strip joint,” Eddie said rolling his eyes. “Oh wait... it’s because I actually pay my strippers. Do you really think that the new owners would be as generous?”
She gave little half shrug with a moue. “It would have been if I bought it.”
Everyone gasped again.
“Go to hell, Stella,” Bakir hissed. Bakir was an immigrant and his English wasn’t very good. “Would be horrible boss.”
“Fucking hell,” Scott agreed. “I’d take Eddie over anyone willing to hurt people for money.”
Danny raised her hand. “Which brings up an interesting point, what does Nancy get out of this?”
Eddie grinned and snapped his fingers at her. “I was thinking the same thing. What does Nancy Wheeler get out of shutting down these businesses? And the answer is a world-wide exclusive to the story. I think she got this high off getting the lab shut down when she was in high school that she had to keep chasing. That same high serial killers get.”
“So what did start all this?” Steve asked from the table he shared with Scott and Robin.
“Jason Carver,” Eddie said smugly. “When Chrissy broke up with him, he became enraged. He had known that Nancy had done exposés before and brought her to one of the Sin nights. She didn’t agree to it until she heard that it was one of the places Jonathan cleaned on occasion.”
Jason’s head whipped around to face her. “This wasn’t enough on its own?” he huffed waving wildly at the poles on the stage.
“No,” Eddie said shaking his head with a huff. “She had to control Jonathan because if he got wind of her schemes he would leave her for good.”
“Damn right,” Jonathan snarled. “And this is me breaking up with you Nancy.”
“You don’t know what you are doing Jonathan,” Nancy purred. “I’m trying to save your soul. Or I could tell Mommy all about how you took pictures of me while I was undressing. A sweet, underaged girl.” She batted her eyelashes at him.
Jonathan began laughing. “That? That’s what you’ve been holding over my head all this time? I told my mom about that when I got into a fight with your then boyfriend and the cops got called. Fuck you.”
She snapped her mouth shut and glared at him. Her hold on him well and truly gone.
“Back to the scheme,” Eddie said landing at Heather’s table. “The first thing she did was find out the weak parts of my operation. She must have overheard me telling Jeff, that a political scandal would be grounds for instant termination.”
Nancy shrugged. “That alleyway is so easy to hide in, you really should get that checked.” She winked at him.
“Then she deployed her fianceé,” Eddie continued clicking his tongue against his teeth, “to find an easy mark to get into bed with. Immediately she zeroed in on Billy. Loud, obnoxious, and egotistical. He was perfect.”
“Fuck you,” Billy huffed. “No one made me do anything!”
Eddie chuckled. “Too easy, honestly. It’s honestly the one fault I find in your plan, you could have chosen someone a little more difficult.” He held up his thumb and forefinger close together.
“But I digress.” He held up his hands. “Billy would get caught with Heather, by Nancy, a part left out the papers because she has friends in high places in those publications.”
Again Nancy looked smug.
“You won’t be so smug when Eddie gets through with you,” Steve said shaking his head. “Where are your denials now?”
“Why deny any of it?” she asked with a laugh. “He’s painting me to be some evil genius, that’s quite the accomplishment.”
“Don’t worry, I’m just getting started,” Eddie assured her, walking over to where Stella sat with Danny and Levi. “This is where she tripped up. Stella was supposed to keep escalating the attacks on the new dancer until they got seriously hurt or they quit. Only they weren’t counting on Steve. Steve whom, if Nancy let get hurt like that would seriously damage her reputation. So tried everything she could to dislodge him herself. But Steve was already entrenched into the club’s culture. So she had to show her hand early so that Stella would be forced to stop the attacks against him.”
“I knew it was a risk,” Nancy admitted with a shrug. “I thought I could appeal to his better nature and our friendship, but he likes stripping.”
Steve laughed. “Hell yeah, I do. It’s good money and better company.”
Nancy rolled her eyes.
“But then it really unraveled,” Eddie said with a grin, “when Jonathan spotted Steve coming out of the dressing room after his lap dance and asked for help. He wanted to know Steve knew of any place that would be willing to take him on full time.”
“When I found out she was willing to help Steve get a job,” Jonathan spat, “but was constantly undermining my ability to even hold a job, I was willing to take anything Steve could help me get so I could get out from under her thumb.”
“Then I met with him,” he continued. “I found him to be genuine and hardworking. His foreman spoke highly of him and all I needed to know was what position he would take. So everyone I would you like you to meet Jonathan Byers, the new chef’s assistant under Monty.”
All the crew of Hellfire clapped except Stella, Levi and Danny.
“And I would like to introduce you to our three new dancers,” Eddie finished with a wink. “Micaella Dimitriou, Kyle White, and Mason Clark. After all Levi, Danny, and Stella are under arrest now.”
“What?!” Danny squawked, leaping to her feet as cops swarmed the club.
Immediately Heather started crying about how she was tricked into all this and how much of a victim she was. All while Nancy screamed about how much of a bitch she was and how she never loved her.
In the end, Jason, Heather, Nancy, Stella, Levi, and Danny were all carted away for varying offenses.
Eddie dusted his hands off. “Right now that garbage has been cleaned out, I am announcing that we are closing the club for two we–”
A roar of outrage erupted from the rest of the crew.
He held up his hands. “Just for two weeks and you’ll get paid based on the average from last year. We are going to be doing some remodeling and it will allow the new dancers time learn their roles.”
There was some murmuring, but that was fair enough.
“Micaella will be in Megera,” Eddie said, “the Fury of ancient Greece. Mason as Set, the Egyptian god of chaos, and Kyle as Kimaris, marquis of hell.”
That got a lot more cheers and excitement.
“Megera will be taking over as Wrath,” Eddie said. “But this time I did give anyone the chance the audition for it.”
Scott snickered. “I still don’t know how you kept it from those three, it was brilliant seeing their shocked Pikachu faces.”
“Oh!” Eddie said with a shy smile. “That was easy. I didn’t tell anyone it was to replace them except for a couple of close confidants.” He shrugged. “I even had them come in, told them it was for a new routine.”
Gareth raised his hand. “He didn’t tell me. Probably because I would have blabbed it all over the place.”
“He didn’t tell me either,” Chrissy said, “I think he wanted me to have plausible deniability if Stella came after me. Which she had shown in the past she was willing to do.”
“Right in one,” Eddie said snapping his fingers at her with a fond smile. “I only told Wayne, Steve, and Scott.”
Jonathan tilted his head to the side. “Why those three?”
Eddie started counting off on his fingers. “Wayne and Scott because they were going to be helping me hire. And Steve because he figured it out on his own. Didn’t you, beautiful?”
“The dance he was having us learn was very...” Steve said with a blush, “angry?” He snapped his fingers. “Fierce! That’s the word. I also knew that Billy had be conspiring with Stella, so I figured that Eddie was going to replace her.”
“Fair enough,” Chrissy said. “So what are all the changes that are being made?”
Eddie launched into getting new tables and chairs, a new stage, a better sound equipment and eventually a new wing, but that would take longer than the two weeks he was willing to be closed. He explained that they would continue to work at night, while the construction crew worked during the day.
“Then to celebrate the new opening,” he said, “we’ll finally do the fairy tale night!”
Then the cheer really did go up. They had been wanting to do that for ages. They had their costumes and had the dances down, but first Chrissy hurt her ankle and then this shit came up and it was past time for them to do it.
Eddie giggled. “Is this why detectives do this shit? Because holy hell was that a rush!”
~
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @gloomysoup
2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @garden-of-gay
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
9- @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts @too-much-tma-stuff @dolphincliffs @chameleonhair
10- @themoonagainstmers @novelnovella @micheledawn1975
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eunsuri · 1 day ago
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Some theory/thoughts on Solas, Mythal and the ancient Elves
I’ve been fully spiralling deep into my thoughts after seeing Solas’ memories and regrets, so I wanted to put these thoughts into words and share my theories on Solas, his relationship with Mythal, and Lavellan. I’m going to split this into 2 parts due to the length! There will be spoilers, so please avoid if you haven’t finished the game! Mild trigger warning for abuse in relationships.
I believe that Solas definitely loved Mythal, but it’s a very different kind of love to what he feels for Lavellan, who I believe is his true love. 
Based on what we see in the manifestation mural, we learn that Solas was originally a spirit, and that the Evanuris were also spirits who took a physical form using lyrium. When Solas was a spirit, it appears that he was somewhat of a spirit companion to Mythal, providing her with wisdom as she shared power with Elgar’nan. 
Spirits are generally an embodiment of specific emotions, and while they can at times feel other emotions, the range isn’t as wide as if they were a physical person. As humans, we carry a large range of emotions that progressively transform and grow into deeper and more complex emotions with age. The Elves would likely have the same range of emotions that we would as people, but as we now know, the ancient Elves were spirits who took a physical form.
Becoming a physical person would come not only with a new body, but a new capability to feel so many more emotions than you would as a spirit who embodies a single or smaller range of emotions.
When Mythal begs Solas to take a physical form, as she needs his wisdom, we see that he is reluctant, as he can see that it’s not a good idea, and he is content with living as a spirit. However, spending time with Mythal as a spirit companion would have built a strong bond, where he was likely offering her guidance and wisdom regularly. We don’t know if spirits are capable of fully feeling love, but it’s clear that a bond was built between the Solas and Mythal.
When Solas agrees and takes his physical form, he would be feeling all kinds of new sensations as he is no longer a weightless spirit floating around in the fade, but a body of flesh and blood, a beating heart, and a brain that not only processes thoughts but a new range of emotions that he would now become capable of unlocking. In that time, Mythal is likely his only real guide to the life and functions of being a physical person. 
In no way am I infantilizing Solas or saying that he is not responsible for his actions, but it’s almost like when a child becomes aware of their own emotions. They start off with a smaller range of emotions, which then grow more complex as they grow in age. Solas would have started off with his smaller range of emotions and strength in his wisdom, but also learning to feel newer emotions he would not have yet experienced before taking a physical form. 
Mythal and possibly the other Evanuris, would be the only real physical example he would have around him of people. He remains close with Mythal because she was the one who pulled him from his life as a spirit, and guided him into the physical world. She tells him she needs him and his wisdom to help her bring peace to the people, and while Solas can see the dangers in the knowledge he is providing, he believes she is doing these things to achieve peace as she is telling him. He can see the wrongs they are doing together, but he blindly follows because of the bond he has with her and he believes in her cause.
They call him her “lapdog” as he follows her wherever she goes and provides her with the wisdom she is seeking. He wears her vallaslin, which he later burns off his face. He sees the Evanuris around him, seeking power and growing in strength, he learns from their pride and believes that he is doing what is right. He sees them rising to Godhood and enslaving their people, he is no longer a gentle spirit of wisdom, but a prideful leader of a rebellion, Fen’harel. 
Solas continues to help Mythal craft the lyrium dagger and do terrible things, tranquilising the Titans when they rise against them for using their blood to create their physical bodies. Though he acknowledges the danger in their actions, Mythal continues to convince him that they must do these things in order to achieve peace and uses his wisdom as a weapon.
While I don’t condone his actions, I empathise heavily with Solas here as I can see myself in him in these moments. I'm someone who grew up in a very dysfunctional family environment, where showing emotions was considered weakness or an embarrassment. I limited myself to very few emotions growing up, and due to feeling like an outsider, I was often easily taken by people who appeared to be good and kind.
I see myself in Solas in my first ever relationship, where I went against my parents wishes, doing things I knew were wrong for me, but I believed in my partner at that time. I believed he was a good man, who loved me and only wanted what was best for me. I continued to follow whatever he wanted in fear of losing him, and even after a major betrayal, I still believed in him and it took me a long time to break myself out of that.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, friendship, or had a familial relationship that was abusive, I’m sure you can relate to the almost emotional/mental paralysis that comes when you know that the situation is wrong, but you can’t leave it because you either believe that the person has good intentions, or because of fear of what could happen if you were to leave. 
That’s how I see Solas’ relationship with Mythal, whether platonic, familial, or romantic, he believes in Mythal being a good person seeking peace for her people. He continues to help her and his wisdom becomes pride, his knowledge is changing their world and turning the tides of the war. He knows it’s wrong, but he’s doing this alongside someone he believes in and he doesn’t turn around and say no.
When he sees just how horrible things have become, he begs Mythal to leave with him and she denies him, calls him “love” and says she will look into his concerns. 
As Bellara says when the team are discussing the mural and their relationship, the ancient Elves felt emotions and affection very deeply. I personally agree with Bellara, as when they took on physical forms, they also likely would have picked up the ability to feel a whole range of new emotions without any kind of real regulation. They would feel things deeply and their affection for each other was different to the kind of emotions people of modern Thedas would have developed, especially when their connection to magic and the Fade is completely different.
When the Evanuris killed Mythal, Solas would have felt this pain deeply, as he failed to protect his oldest friend when he tried to stop them from their rise to ultimate power and godhood. He believed they deserved punishment for this betrayal and sealed them away in the veil, which took all his power and led him to sleep in Uthenera for thousands of years.
I'll discuss his relationship with Lavellan and the difference to his relationship with Mythal in part 2 🤍🤍
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imagineanime2022 · 3 days ago
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Hidden
Osamu Dazai X GN!Reader
Word Count: 1425
Requested: Anon
Request: Can you write dazai x reader who got injured but tries to hide it?
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Dazai didn’t often care for other people. In fact they were often disposable pawns in his plans unless they were part of the ADA. You started off as the target of a mission, later becoming a member of the ADA due to your ability to track and follow people. Your ability allows you to mark up to 3 people to track and follow unnoticed, however you have to have seen the person before and marked them while they were in your sight.
Dazai didn’t think much of you at first, that is until you were ordered to track and follow him to make sure that he didn’t get into anything that he couldn’t handle. This led to you finding out about his previous profession.
You don’t know what tips Dazai off but he found out that you knew and you were minding your own business on your way home when he ambushed you “There you are.” He said as he fell into step next to you. “I’ve been in the same building as you all day Dazai.” You reminded him, rolling your eyes as you continued on your way home. “Mmm, never alone though.” He smirked as he watched you frown as if trying to figure something out. “Is there something that I can help you with?” You asked, turning off the main road towards your small apartment building. “Help me with?” Dazai repeated the question to himself before moving forward in a burst of speed pressing you to the wall behind you. “Actually there is something that you can help me with.” “What’s that?” You asked, he would have been confused by your ability to brush off his actions, if he wasn’t sure that you had been sent by someone worse than him. “Who sent you to watch me?” He asked. “The boss.” You answered. “He wanted me to make sure that you didn’t get into anything that you couldn’t handle, I assume he was worried about your past coming back to haunt you.” “You expect me to believe that?” He asked. “I don’t, honestly I’m surprised that it took you so long to accuse me of being an enemy.” Dazai had the physical edge, he was bigger and stronger than you were, he had more experience than you did in fighting and in extension killing people so your only option was to answer all of his questions. “You don’t seem worried about it.” He informed you and you shrugged. “I’m not worried, honestly I’ve never put much stock in living.” You answered “not in the sense that I don’t value my life but more in the sense that I know how fragile it is and how infinitely stupid it is of me to think that I can stop it from breaking.” Dazai stopped, almost like something had opened up to him, something you had opened up to him, he stepped back away face cast down as his shoulders began to shake. Then a real and rich laugh pulled from his lips, he waved at you before turning and walking away leaving you confused.
The next morning he greeted you like an old friend and was with you any time that he could be, leaning over you, ruffling your hair, whispering in your ear or initiating some form of contact. It became so normal in the following years that none of the other members questioned it or knew how to explain it to the new additions even when it settled into a relationship.
While Dazai was forever looking for a way to exit stage left in the play of life, he was very aware of your ability to find danger without really looking. He never liked when you were on missions alone (which meant he didn’t like you going on missions) but never said anything because that would be hypocritical and he had no time to argue with you.
The true trouble rose with the addition of Atsushi who brought with him the Mafia interference, you were given the task of following Atsushi and reporting back when someone made a move for the bounty. Unfortunately the first time that it happened, they sent Akutagawa and he did not waste time, you realised that you needed to buy more time for them to get there, so despite the fact that you had no fighting skill you jumped into the fray after Atsushi, Niaomi and Junichiro were both knocked out. “You are?” Akutagawa asked as he looked over to where you landed. “Me… I’m just a friend.” You answered. “Mm.” He hummed as he knocked you away from Junichiro, your head and back knocking against the wall of the alley. “Damn.” You groaned, pushing yourself up from the floor. “I would say it’s impressive the beating that you can take but it seems that’s all you're good for.” Now he was looking down at you. “I’m good for a distraction.” You muttered pushing up onto your hands and knees as he frowned. “What?” He asked. “That’s enough Akutagawa.” Dazai spoke, everything seemed to freeze for a second before Akutagawa turned to the man that had spoken. “You're just as useless as the day I left you.” “Shut up!” Akutagawa lashed out at Dazai who immediately nullified his ability. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Yeah.” You answered pushing to your feet, it only took a few more taunting words from Dazai to get Akutagawa to leave, you helped him get the others back to the office, slinking off to tend to yourself.
You leant against the sink rolling your shoulders and trying to become familiar with the pain that coursed through your shoulders when you moved them, finally deciding that you were ready to face the rest of the day you walked out of the bathroom, coming face to face with Dazai. “Were you waiting for the-” “Are you okay?” He asked. “Yeah I already told you I’m fine.” You answered. “You're sure?” He asked. “Yes.” You answered. “Mmm.” He hummed, you walked past him and back towards the office, he watched you carefully and while he couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary he was sure that there was something.
It was later on that day that you had to admit to the injury, Ranpo had come back to the office and he, like many of the other members, liked to hang off of you like a child and have you catch anything that he can’t. Today was no different “(Y/N)!” Ranpo yelled as he dove at you, luckily you were sitting so the impact of the jump didn’t affect you too much, just started off a dull ache in your shoulder. “Hey Ranpo, how was the case you were assigned to?” You asked. “Easy… They keep saying that they don’t need me but I don’t know what they would do without me.” Ranpo muttered thoughtfully as he unwrapped one of his many sweets. “What about you? What did you do?” “Got in a fight.” You answered. “But you can’t fight.” A look of disapproval took over his face as you shrugged, flinching but that went unnoticed by everyone except for Dazai who had been watching you closely. “Mmm, someone had to distract the threat and save the day.” You joked, he giggled with you and easily moved on. Dazai came over the moment that Ranpo changed his attention to someone else, he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. “Where are we going?” Dazai didn’t answer, instead he pulled you back to the restroom of the office, guiding you in and locking the door. “Show me.” He ordered. “Show you?” You repeated letting confusion slip into your tone. “He hurt your shoulder didn’t he?” He asked. “It’s nothing, just a bruise.” You answered. “Did Yasano tell you that?” He asked. “I can see a bruise, Dazai.” You grumbled and he gestured for you to turn, you did as you were told and Dazai helped you gently move your arm out of the sleeve and lifted your shirt to show him your shoulder. His fingers gently run over it watching your reaction before nodding to himself. “We’re still going to Yasano.” He informed you. “For what?” You asked, turning to look at him and shoving your arm through the sleeve and regretting the action immediately. “For something for the pain.” He answered, pressing a kiss to your temple “at least do that.” “Fine… Fine.” You agreed leaning into him, he gave you a second before unlocking the door and leading you to the doctor.
Request Here!!
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honeyhotteoks · 6 hours ago
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do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?
hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha
i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.
now! onto some actual advice —
1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired
2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done
3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later
4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.
5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.
6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.
7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.
8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.
9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.
10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.
okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗
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cuteniaarts · 3 months ago
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Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!
Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3
(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)
Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:
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#and yeah I did say I’d do a fuckass background but all my energy went to figuring out Suiren’s design#plus I suck at backgrounds so.. woe. LoK screenshot be upon ye#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#avatar suiren au#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#I don’t really know what to say in these tags lmao#usually I reach the tag limit really really easily but between my previous post and answering that ask I’ve ran out of things to say#someone please indulge me in this au I have Way Too Many Thoughts about it#hmm…#you know. I think people often make different avatar aus because they dislike Korra or think she’s a bad avatar#I don’t. I love Korra. I would kill and die for her#(says the red lotus stan. yes I’m well aware. no need to call me out)#and I think she’s a good avatar who was dealt a shitty hand both in universe and by the show’s production team#I’m making this au BECAUSE I love Korra. if Suiren is the avatar Korra gets to be a normal SWT girl#she’ll get to grow up with her parents. not isolated and degraded all the time for not being perfect. maybe she’d have a sibling or two#and Suiren gets spared her sotrl trauma too. win win for everyone!!#(I return Suiren gets the weight of the world on her shoulders lmao. but it’s fine. 1. she isn’t alone in it. she has her family#2. three quarters of the LoK threats are basically automatically eliminated for her. the RL are her parents. she fuses with Vaatu#and all she has to do to defeat Kuvira is to take her dress off 😁 /hj. basically. she’ll be okay. better than in sotrl at least)#also look. I love Suiren. she’s my dear child who’s been with me since I was 12. of course I wanna make her the main character in everything#and dark avatar Korra AUs have been done countless times before me. Kat’s doing one right now!! I just wanna do something that’s my own#and also I wanna focus less on pain and trauma for once and more on the sheer hilarity of the shenanigans that will occur post-fusion#cause this isn’t Adumbration where Korra lets Raava go and fuses with Vaatu instead. here Suiren’s got both of them at the same time#and they have 10000 years’ worth of grievances to air out. it’s like living with your divorced parents#trust me I would know. except mine aren’t divorced. they’re Worse and everyone wishes they’d just separate#anyway. that aside. Suiren’s not getting any sleep any time soon while those two duke it out
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tauforged · 7 months ago
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i feel bad about something -> i pick at my skin to relieve stress -> i get upset about the damage i just did to myself -> i keep picking because i don’t know how else to ‘fix’ the problem i just made -> i realize how much time ive wasted doing all of this -> i continue picking even after it becomes actually painful as ‘punishment’ -> i finally get tired and/or something else calls my attention and i stop, clean up, and attempt to move on with my day -> i feel bad about everything that just happened -> i continue to feel bad about this and everything that happens afterwards until i can’t take it anymore and need a release so i don’t implode -> rinse and repeat
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exopelagic · 10 months ago
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honk shoo.
#but yeah sleepy.#i have so much to do these next few days I��m gonna die#meanwhile I just wanna see my friends#the good thing is that some of the busy things involve seeing my friends but goddamn why are almost all of them hard#also YES I’m going to be dumb and gay again bc a) why shouldn’t I b) nobody can stop me#I’m being dumb and gay again.#now seen The Guy twice since I’ve been back and he’s very cool#still feel like I’m being insane god idk what I’m doing#I hope he comes tomorrow bc he can’t make the meeting which means he won’t be on committee which sucks bc he did want to#OH but I did mean to tell him there was one role he could go for and have a good shot at that I think he’d be good for#only problem is if he doesn’t come tomorrow I can’t tell him in time bc I don’t have any way to message him other than email#(which feels slightly creepy bc I only know it bc secretary and he’s never explicitly said his surname so it’s just inferred from the list)#idk. the thing that gets me is we are very much friends now. like early stages of friends but we keep talking at hockey#and importantly he keeps coming To Me which keeps surprising me bc he does it more than any of my other friends#but I guess I’m also coming to him kinda a lot too. self awareness falls when around cute boy you get how it is#god it’s so unfair why is he like this#I finished getting my skates off before he did yesterday which gave me a very good opportunity to Look while he was talking#and have it not be weird and he’s just very pretty. he’s got a rlly nice nose#i always feel insane pointing out noses it’s the Draw speaking bc I use noses as a focal point and they’re fun to draw#tbh it’s unlikely I will say someone does Not have a nice nose but idk let me have this. it would be fun to draw is maybe what I mean#and I hadn’t noticed before bc the like bridge? and uhh like. base? idk nose words but they don’t match#the bridge is super long and on the thin side w a bump like mine but the like bottom is much rounder and wider and I don’t see that mix much#he also just has rlly nice hair it’s super curly and he’s in that like weird light brown purgatory where it’s all different colours#like it’s mostly light brown but some bits look rlly dark and some especially at the ends is like almost blonde and it changes w the light#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous#he looks like a spider folding in on itself and the worst part is he can fucking do it#he’s gotten so good at skating recently and I have a feeling he lives somewhere with an ice rink bc I’m sure he’s better than he was novembr#yeah I also got to just stand and watch him play yesterday and it’s so incredibly horribly unfair#anyway I’m too fucking gay and I will not let him escape me again tomorrow I Will get his instagram or smth bc I swear this man#luke.txt
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whimsyprinx · 2 years ago
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currently failing to cope with the fact that none of my friends feel like My Friend
#whimsy whispers#mainly due to the fact that the longest friendship I’ve had is falling apart and there’s nothing I can do about it and it’s made me even#more aware of the fact that I’m no one’s friend#and then my response is to be overbearing and shove my insecurities down people’s throats and in the process make them less likely to want#to remain friends with me#I’m very good at making me tired of me and pushing people away it’s a gift of mine#it just sucks so much and it feels so lonely and bad all the time#I just want to be someone who’s happy and loved and feels wanted but I just don’t think that’s going to ever happen especially given that#my best friend doesn’t seem like they want me in their life anymore and I just don’t know what to do idk if there’s anything I can do#I wonder if that’s my fault as well like all my other failing friendships have been my fault so this one must be too right?#I’m just so tired and I told myself that lowering ky expectations when it comes to happiness mt my future and relationships would be better#than being hopeful and getting hurt but it still hurts#it’s jsut that if I don’t have expectations I can be upset alone without making it anyone else’s problem whereas if I have hope and then get#hurt I always make it other peoples problems which only makes things worse#I don’t feel like I’m ever going to actually be happy and as long as I’m like this no one is going to want me or love me and I don’t blame#them I’m irritating and annoying when I’m like this but I’m always like this and like who would want someone like that in their lives#I’m so deeply insecure and fuckijg awful and I just hate myself so much#happy March I was suppose to be working on doing better while taking a break from things but despite that I’m doing worse#how do I expect people to want me when I’m like this? I’m so stupid#it’s just gonna be like this until I finally die#also note that people not feeling like my friend isn’t their fault#it’s not other peoples fault that I’m like this and I don’t want people to feel like they’re at fault for something they didn’t do
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latinokaeya-moving · 2 years ago
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you know. i wouldnt get so privately frustrated everytime i talk with my mum abt me and my brother paying ‘rent’/helping out w food or bills once we both have full time jobs if she at least had the decency to admit she just wants to use the money to pay off her and my dads debts quicker
#x#like. it’s not like i wasn’t planning to help out once i finished uni/got a proper job#i’m not. shameless. regardless of whatever they might think of me. i am in fact aware of the concept of giving back.#but it’s just like the first time it was ever brought up i offhandedly mentioned like. an average of what i thought was a considerate amount#to give. and she was like so obviously appalled? n was like well you know if you were living on ur own you’d be paying 3/4x that right#n suggested double the amount#and i was just like. idk. like no shit it would cost a lot more to live alone#but i’m not doing that am i? i’m staying with YOU. my FAMILY#am i not paying enough with the constant assault on my mental health and well-being by being around my dad here lmao…#did i not spend all my teen years hoping desperately to leave as soon as i could bc i was so miserable#to then find some sort of stability and decide that in this climate itd be better off to stay at home#like. it upsets me bc i’m just trying to think about saving up enough for the smallest hope of a pipe dream of my brother and i buying a#house together in the future. just SOMETHING just for ourselves for a sense of security#and i’ve told this to her like don’t you think me and harry should be saving as much as we can now while we live home…#bc they’re planning to abandon us in a couple years and go back to colombia anyways lmao. so it’s not like we won’t be paying rent ourselves#by the time we’re 25#which will make saving most of our money harder lmao#anyways she was like you’ll still be able to save a lot of ur money now! it’s not like i’m taking all ur money!#and i just feel like she’s missing the point idk. like. AUGH i’ve lost steam of my argument#but like. it’s not like they’re in a dire situation. like up until now when harry paid his first months worth of ‘rent’ they’d been managing#fine … like obviously everything is more expensive and we’re being more careful but like. it’s not some sort of emergency#she just wants us to ‘help out’ to teach us or whatever. and bc it’s right. bc they’re our parents#which. FINE like again i was never opposed to it ever i’m not an idiot or selfish i get it#but once i start working between me and harry we’ll be paying for half the rent. and we ALREADY buy groceries/food in general when we notice#there isn’t any at home#i hate feeling like i’m an awful entitled child for feeling upset abt it but i just feel like she setting us up to struggle just that Little#bit more when she leaves us alone in this country. and i’ve been stressing abt that since i knew that was their plan when i was like 12!#i don’t want her gentle little suggestions of helping out money wise to be couched in fucking. duty or responsibility to them as my parents#just ADMIT IT to me the money is going to go to paying your debts. just say it to me. it doesn’t sting as much that way. my god
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sarabyfleetwoodmacmp3 · 2 months ago
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💭
#I’m kinda done with horror movies tbh#and I’ve been done with them for a little while already but I guess bc I saw some that were coming out that looked cool I tried it again-#but now it definitely feels like I’m done#I’m just done with the disturbing things :/ the murder and the misery and stuff#it’s just not something I want to see really#I guess that also extends beyond horror movies and also includes dramas that are overly miserable or just movies that deal with the-#disturbing and super graphic violence and such#and it’s not only to protect my peace or myself mentally or whatever because these things do disturb me#but also because genuinely I don’t find them that interesting anymore? like I watch these movies and yeah they get to me and stuff but also-#I’ve come to realize I’m kinda bored? like if someone would turned off the movie I don’t think I would mind much#like I’m not really interested when seeing these movies I’m not invested or anything#like yeah I can think about these movies after watching them and seeing the themes in them and how well the movie#- was made and how smart it is and what it’s trying to say and-#- appreciate it for all those things but I’m just not really into it at the end of the day nor did it made me feel anything positive-#like after thinking about all of that I’m like ‘😐 alright then’ and realized I feel bored#* realize#and I don’t care if ‘it show a really important theme that’s part of reality and need to be talked about more’ or if it’s supposed to ‘start#a conversation’ I feel like I KNOW the theme I KNOW that it’s important and what that’s about and I’m aware and so are most people and-#conversations have been happening and so it like an excuse that’s used for filmmakers or something. I’m sorry but I don’t see the point and-#*its#feels overdone and something that has been talked about and is known. sorry if that sounds dumb of me or something#I’m just doneeee#like I KNOOOW bad things happen in the world and to people I KNOWW but I don’t want to see it in my free time I don’t want to see something-#traumatic as hell I get it!!!#so from now on I’m just not gonna watch anything like that anymore because I’m not having a good time so it feels like a waste of time then#online diary
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floral-hex · 5 months ago
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real sad boy hours
#why? just ‘cause.#actually I’m here at this chess tournament my brother is entered in. sitting by myself in the lobby waiting for him to finish his last game#and I’m honest to goodness trying not to openly weep. I feel so stupid#hold on. give me a second bc just writing this makes#makes me start crying a little and there are people around#life is too short#I love this kid. I’ve loved watching him grow up. and I’m always ALWAYS aware that everything is passing so fast#will I be here with him next year? will he outgrow all of this?#we don’t hang out as much anymore. he’s got his teenage things going on. his own life.#I don’t know. I’m trying to appreciate these moments as much as I can#it’s hard though. I feel like shit. my head hurts. my tinnitus has been driving me crazy#it’s hard to be present when you’re in a fog#last night in the hotel room we didn’t even really hang out. he just played on his phone until he slept. which is totally his right.#I just… I just hope I’m really appreciating this time#ok now I feel stupid for kind of crying in this hotel while lots of people walk around#i don’t know what more I could even do now. it’s not like I’m allowed to go watch him play or I can do anything but wait#I suppose I have to keep asking myself ‘am I appreciating this enough?’ and if I’m not then try to work on that#life is really shitty right now but I know there have been countless times I wish I’d been more present#so I wake up tired today and drink coffee & 5 hour energy and still I’m tired and my head hurts but I’ve still gotta try. just a little.#in a couple of years he’ll be off to college and have his own life#and it won’t be him and I going to the movies or driving him to school or having dinner together#anyway… juuuuust sad. and lonely. straight up not having a good time#but also I’m glad I’m here if only to hang around my brother a little bit#IAN! stop! god I feel so stupid letting myself wallow like this. it’s not helping. it’s just making me sad. focusing on the negatives.#whatevs. I’ve got major depression. suck my butt. I’m allowed to be sad sometimes.#this weekend didn’t really go like I thought#I guess I expected to read more and shoot the shit with my brother and hang out more but it’s whatever. life happens.#my mental & physical health has been bad for a couple months now so I couldn’t have reasonably expected to suddenly be great just because 🤷🏻#oh well!#text
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ghostinacardboardbox · 4 months ago
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A lot of people in the notes are pointing out the fact that studio vocals from the cast recording were mixed in rather than fully using live vocals and i can’t honestly say I noticed this but I did feel like there was something off about it and this is exactly it. One, there is not a single Starkid who isn’t just as good live as they are on the albums and there is no reason to cover up the live performance; Two, part of the point of the proshot is to record the musical as it was performed. That includes the choreo, that includes the staging, that includes the vocals.
The live audio is always good and sometimes better than the album and the albums are generally good for listening while the live performance enhances the story. Fully agree with everyone saying that the recording should use the original audio.
My one hope for Cinderella’s Castle is that the proshot isn’t so over produced like npmd. The npmd proshot is gorgeous visually but completely loses so much of the choreography and staging due to its amount of close ups and cuts. I just want a good view of the staging in each scene that lets me see the choreography well.
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obaex · 9 months ago
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(not) my girl - rafe cameron
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summary: if rafe cameron is so sure he doesn't need to be seen with you at midsummers, you are more than happy to oblige (or) the time you drove rafe insane with jealousy.
word count: 3.4k
a/n: inspired by this post by the sweet @writingsbychlo ♡
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You were curled up on Rafe’s lap, head resting on his shoulder with his arms circled around you and his fingers mindlessly tracing patterns on your thigh as he talked with his friends around the firepit in his backyard.
You had been hooking up for a few months and recently you felt like you were right on the cusp of him asking you to make things official, exclusive. You were spending nearly every night together and every time he asked to talk or wanted to hang out you got your hopes up that this would be the time he brought it up, only to be crushed over and over again.
Deep down, you knew how Rafe felt. People who were ‘just hooking up’ didn’t beg you to stay every morning, didn’t make room in their dresser for you, didn’t wake you up with featherlight kisses to your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, face breaking into a ridiculous smile when your eyes fluttered open to find his drinking you in, they didn’t call you during a panic attack after fighting with their dad, pleading to hear your voice as the only thing that would calm them down. No, you were pretty sure you knew exactly how this boy felt, but you wanted him to acknowledge it. You ached to hear him say with pride ‘that’s my girl’, to mark you as his own.
Your eyes flitted across the fire to your best friend Olivia who wiggled her eyebrows at the sight of you and Rafe together, all too aware of the situationship you were in and how badly you wanted him. You blushed and rolled your eyes back at her, just trying to enjoy this small moment where he showed his affection for you in front of other people. She winked at you before interrupting the conversation.
“Sooo, who is everyone taking to Midsummers?”
You shot her a look that screamed what the hell are you doing!? You were still holding out hope that Rafe was going to ask you, even though it was less than a week away. Maybe he had an elaborate, last-minute surprise planned?
“Feel pretty good about my date” Kelce murmured, pressing a kiss to Olivia’s cheek as she giggled. “What about you Top, still intent on macking on Rafe’s sister?” he asked. Topper threw an empty beer can at him as everyone laughed.
“I don’t know why we even bother with dates” Rafe said. “We’re just gonna dick around together all night anyway, there’s no point.” He took a swig of his beer without meeting your gaze. You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment and a painful ache in your throat as you tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spring forward. You met Olivia’s gaze again and she nodded encouragingly towards Rafe.
“W-what about me, Cameron?” you asked, trying to mask your feelings, to sound chill as you poked him in the side.
He looked at you sweetly, “C’mon and say what when my dad asks about you? ‘Hey dad, here’s the girl I’ve been sneaking through the back door every night and smashing while you and Rose are three doors down? Hard pass.” He laughed, focusing back on his beer and his friends as you felt his hand slide off your leg.
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You allowed yourself to be genuinely upset for three days.
You didn’t sleep at Tanneyhill for the first time in months, you didn’t even answer his texts which grew increasingly more insistent the more you ignored them. You stayed home, you cried, and you contemplated what the fuck you were doing with your life. Was that really all you were to him – just someone he was sneaking around with? Did you somehow become that girl, too naïve and too stupid to see that she wasn’t and would never be anything more than a hookup?
You thought about the way Rafe reached for you and held you in his sleep, the way his hands ghosted over your body, the things he’d whisper in your ear, the times you’d ridden shotgun in his truck or he’d taken you to his favorite spot on the beach… Your heart was so sure about him, but your head throbbed with the echo of his words.
You and Olivia talked incessantly about it, dissecting everything he’d said. “Maybe he just needs a little push, a little… motivation?” she suggested, and the more you talked about it, the more you realized she was right.
If Rafe Cameron was so sure he didn’t need to be seen with you at Midsummers, you were more than happy to oblige.
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The last of the hot summer sun was settling over the ocean as you climbed the front steps of the Island Club in daring three-inch heels; the added height gave your figure a perfect sway that simply begged people to watch you as you walked by. Your dress had a thigh-high slit, open back, and was the perfect color for your skin tone, illuminating you; the neckline was devilishly tantalizing, giving the desired effect of drawing all eyes to the dazzling diamond pendant that reflected the setting sun.
Rafe heard you before he saw you; rather, he heard a sea of murmurs rippling through the crowd which drew his attention to the doors just as you walked through by yourself, essentially announcing to the island that you were alone for the night.
“Geezus” he heard Topper mutter under his breath as he took you in. Normally, he would have known better and normally Rafe would have put his head through a wall for glaring at you the way he was, but even though his fists clenched in response and he wanted to turn and say something to him, he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of you; “Geezus” didn’t even begin to cover it.
You were always undeniably beautiful to Rafe: when you wore his oversized sweatshirt around the fire pit, when you were makeup-less in your wet bikini at the beach, and especially when you were wearing next to nothing tangled up in his limbs and his soft sheets, but the dress you had on, the way your hair shone in the last rays of the sun, the way you were positively radiating had his pulse throbbing in his neck, his adam’s apple bobbing and his palms sweating. Fuck, I am so happy she’s mine he thought to himself, smiling and moving to walk towards you as your eyes met his across the crowd.
You were glowing at him and sent him a discreet smile as you greeted people and made your way in his direction. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, to have you at his side so everyone knew you were his. You approached your friends, dropping a kiss on Topper and Kelce’s cheeks before doing the same to Rafe. You made to move past him quickly, intent on talking to Olivia when he grabbed your hand.
“Hey, hold up you-you look…” he started to say, trying and struggling to find the words to capture the way his heart was pounding in his chest.
Your wide eyes met his expectantly and just when he opened his mouth to speak, they flitted over his shoulder.
“Oh! Sorry, Rafey! Just saw someone I want to catch up with, I’ll see you later” and without another word you walked away, leaving Rafe Cameron, the King of Kildare staring and stuttering after you.
You were walking away from him? he thought. You had seemed so adamant about this whole Midsummers thing, dropping hints about going together and now here he was, practically ready to get down on one knee at the sight of you, and you were walking away from him? He was speechless. He turned to watch you go… right into the arms of another man. He looked to be about your age, the same height and a similar build as Rafe, because of course Rafe was sizing him up, how could he not? This guy had his paws all over his girl. And then, after a moment’s realization, he thought darkly, she’s not your girl…
You had greeted this guy with a huge hug, and he’d nearly lifted you off the ground, now he had your full attention and you were laughing at something he said, the most sweet and perfect sound that Rafe wanted only for himself.
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As everyone took their seat for dinner, you intentionally positioned yourself across the table from Rafe. The slight of not sitting next to him where he could run his fingers up your thigh or tangle them in your own left him fidgeting instead, buttoning and unbuttoning his jacket and swirling his drink. What the fuck did I used to do with my hands? he thought angrily.
You paid him no mind, instead, leaning forward on your elbows and toying with the diamond pendant around your neck, fingering it, twirling it and sliding it back and forth on its chain.
“Holy DIAMOND, girl!” Olivia said as she took note of your necklace and leaned over to get a closer look. “Is it new, where is it from?” her eyes shot from you to Rafe and back again.
He glared at you both over the rim of his glass as he took a deep gulp, trying to act unphased but also extremely curious to hear your answer knowing damn well it wasn’t from him.
Your eyes flitted to Rafe briefly before you leaned towards Olivia, lowering your voice, but not so low that he couldn’t hear you. “It was… a gift from… someone special” you said winking conspiratorially at her.
Rafe choked on his drink just as someone was standing up at the front of the crowd to make a speech, shifting everyone’s attention and interrupting the slew of words that nearly poured out of his mouth.
Who the fuck on Kildare fucking Island was buying his girl jewelry? he thought. And then, again, he reminded himself, she’s not your girl… the thought making his whole body tense, rigid and taught in anger and frustration.
For the next 20 minutes, all he could do was stare at you as you twiddled that ridiculous necklace in your fingers, imagining what it would be like to rip it off of you and replace it with something twice as nice. He was mentally calculating how much he would spend and how quickly he could get it when JJ Maybank passed by their table. Rafe had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue until he watched JJ do a double take at you and stop in his tracks.
Don’t do it, Maybank, Rafe thought. Don’t you dare do it.
He watched JJ eye you and the distance between you and Rafe and, deeming it safe, peddled back, pulling a glass of champagne off his tray and handing it to you with a flourish. He knelt down next to your seat and when you turned to talk to him, it left JJ perfectly eye level with your cleavage. He was whispering something to you and you rested your hand on his bicep as you leaned forward to hear him. Rafe could see you blushing, and he watched Maybank take in every greedy eyeful of you. Rafe stood up so abruptly, it knocked his chair over and rattled the plates on the table. Everyone looked up at him, including you, and for the first time that night he had your full attention as your eyes widened at his reaction.
“YN, inside, let’s go” he said simply, walking to your side of the table.
You raised an eyebrow at him and his demanding tone.
“And Maybank if you don’t stop staring at her tits, I will put your face through this table.”
JJ quickly stood up and backed away with his hands raised in surrender as Rafe approached you.
“Rafe we were just—” you started.
“— Inside. Now” he said, taking you forcefully by the arm and leading you inside and into the locker room.
“Rafe! Come on! Stop it! I want to spend the night with my friends, I don’t know what you possibly have to be mad at” you said in resistance.
And that was the very last straw for him.
“WHAT I HAVE TO BE MAD AT?!” he said, incredulous, nearly shouting. “Where do I even begin with you!? You blow me off all week, then you waltz in here looking like an absolute bombshell, wearing next to nothing – I swear to God, I’ve seen you in bikinis with more material - every guy here is leering at you. Then you’re talking to that jackass who had his hands all over you…” he said, exasperated.
At this point he was pacing, his voice continuing to rise in anger and frustration. “…And then Maybank?! Maybank of all people?! He was flirting with you right in front of me. Was it to make me jealous? Is that what this is all about? Because I’m about to lose my fucking mind YN” he said running his hands through his hair, giving you sick pleasure knowing it took him probably an hour to style it. A surprised if not amused look rested on your face as you continued to twirl your necklace in your fingers.
“And who the fuck gave you that” he pointed accusingly at the diamond in your hand, not giving you a single second to respond, “No. Absolutely not. Take it off. Right now” he said, walking briskly towards you in an effort to do it himself.
You held out a hand to stop him.
“I don’t know what the big deal is Rafe” you said innocently. “What difference does it make? I’m just the girl you’re sneaking through your back door every night to smash” you shrugged, your eyes burning at him.
His eyes widened as he heard his own words on your lips.
“No, that’s – that’s not – I didn’t mean” he stuttered.
You gave him a vicious look as you watched the gears turn in his head and he tried to string a sentence together.
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that – I shouldn’t have – what I meant was – ahh, fuck it” he said, taking a step forward and closing the distance between you in an instant, one hand holding your face firmly as he pushed you against the lockers and the other coming to rest on the wall beside you, caging you in against him as he pressed his lips bruisingly to yours, devouring you, just like he’d wanted to do all night.
You wanted to stay strong, to argue, to tell him he wasn’t going to win you over like this. But he was. He so so was as he deepened the kiss almost instantly and the pad of his thumb ran across your cheek sending a shiver through your body. When he finally felt you relent and kiss him back, winding your arms around his neck and pulling yourself flush to him he let out a small groan that almost made you forget the whole point of tonight. Almost.
You pulled back, leaving not even an inch between you. The feeling of you kissing him had calmed him down significantly. His breathing had slowed but his cheeks were still flushed and his hair was mussed. He lingered there, his nose brushing yours as he stroked your cheek.
“You’re my girl” he whispered finally.
“Are you asking or telling?” you whispered back.
“Do I really need to ask, princess?” he said, meeting your gaze with his own.
You raised an eyebrow at him threateningly.
He rolled his eyes and said in a sigh, “Be mine?”
You bit your bottom lip and pretended to think about it. “Gosh, I don’t know” you said, pressing a slow kiss to his lips “M’might have to think about it” you said, pressing another kiss there, lingering longer “Mm’might need some convincing” you said, kissing him again and running your hands up his chest.
His voice was low but steady, “I will take you home right now and convince you as many times as you need me to” he said, kissing you back through a smile.
“Deal” you replied sweetly.
You moved to leave but he didn’t let you go and when you met his gaze, his brow was furrowed, his eyes searching yours. “I am serious though, about this, about you” he said. “I’m sorry I fucked up.” He looked uncharacteristically bashful, unsure even. “Really, are you mine?” he whispered.
“Yes, Rafe,” you said as your heart fluttered in your chest “All yours.”
He smiled stupidly, so far gone for you as he kissed you again. You were completely lost in the moment until he muttered against you, “Then please for the love of God will you take that necklace off and tell me who in the hell thought they could buy you something like that?”
You met his eyes strongly, the last embers of your pain crackling there.
“No” you said simply, continuing quickly when he tried to interrupt you. “I’m going to keep it and wear it whenever I damn well please to remind you of what you have and what you sure as hell want don’t want to lose.”
He looked genuinely shocked to hear you challenge him like that and you could see a tic in his jaw as he worked it back and forth in anger.
“I… hate that” he growled. “What if I buy you something nicer?”
You shrugged noncommittally and he shook his head at you. “Fine, let’s get out of here, that dress is killing me and I have a lot of convincing I want to do to you right now.” You giggled as he grabbed your hand and led you back outside, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.
When you rejoined the party there were a few murmurs and glances as you hung off his arm. Were you imagining it, or was he taking the long way back to your table, intentionally parading you around the patio and staring daggers at anyone whose gaze lingered too long? Being seen together at Midsummers was basically shouting from the rooftops that you were official. You were glowing, he was too. You said goodbye to your friends and within minutes you were in his truck headed back to Tanneyhill, his hand rubbing circles higher and higher on your thigh, your fingers in his hair.
He threw the car in park and scooped you over his shoulder, carrying you all the way upstairs like that, which had you shrieking in delight. He didn’t set you down until you were in his room and he kissed you feverishly, his hands cupping your face, before his fingers traced your neck, nearing your necklace.
“Rafe” you muttered against his lips, a warning.
“Just tell me who” he muttered back, unable to let it go and kissing you deeper in the hopes of convincing you. “I’m already gonna to buy you a new one, you’ll never wear this again, but I need to know. Can’t stop thinking about someone else with their hands on you” he said as he guided you backwards towards his bed, pushing you gently onto his comforter and crawling on top of you.
“I don’t like it. I do not fucking like it” he growled against your lips. Under his anger, you detected a hint of vulnerability and you broke your kiss just long enough to look into his eyes, which gazed longingly at you as they searched your face. Perhaps you had tortured this poor boy enough.
You sighed, relenting.
“Olivia” you said.
He looked at you, completely confused for only a moment before the realization dawned on his face and he hung his head.
“There isn’t anyone else” he said in equal parts relief, frustration and embarrassment.
You shook your head at him.
“God I’m so fucking stupid” he said.
You giggled before reaching behind your neck to unclasp the necklace and toss it on his bedside table.
He looked at you with heat and tenderness, “I’m sorry that’s what it took for me to get my shit together. I wish it all happened differently, but I don’t regret it. You’re it for me, YN, no one else.”
He placed a kiss beneath your ear, to your throat, to your bare collarbone. “My girl” he whispered against your skin, enjoying how it felt on his tongue and the sound of your sweet laughter in response.
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taglist: @ietss, @gillybear17, @palmwinemami, @moremaybank, @one-sweet-gubler, @m-indkiller, @diary-of-jj, @crlsummer, @jjsbank444
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cuteniaarts · 4 months ago
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@katkastrofa: *writes a single throwaway line in one chapter of Lost and Found that is never referenced again*
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Me, completely randomly and with no prompting: Alright, bet–
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#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#as if I don’t have enough of those already#I really don’t know what possessed me here. I mean. sometimes my mind did drift to this mention of Zaheer’s sisters#because broken bonds is my absolute favourite LaF chapter. but I ever really thought of them that much since Kat never brought them up agai#and then about 24h ago I randomly remembered them again and was like. hey. p’li and ghazan’s sisters play a huge role in our stories#and ming-hua is an only child. so what of zaheer’s sisters? what are they like? do they ever cross his mind? are they aware of his crimes?#and in the afternoon I went digging through my art supplies bc I felt like painting and found my old 2020-2022 sketchbook with 2 empty page#so I thought. why not. it’s been a while since I’ve done traditional art. so I pulled up a reference of rich EK outfits from the artbooks#and got to work. drew this up in about half an hour? traditional sketching is a lot faster than digital for some reason#then took a picture and cleaned up and coloured in procreate. and I’m really happy with the end result#this was hella fun to do as well so.. win-win?#alright enough backstory rambling. on to the characters themselves#I looked up Zaheer’s name and apparently that particular spelling is urdu in origin. so I went off that#the article I found was written edited and fact checked by three pakistani women so I think it’s about as trustworthy as these things go#summiya means ‘a woman of proper name’ and aiza means ‘respected high place in society’. which I thought were fitting for noble girls#for outfits and hairstyles. like I said. I turned to the avatar artbooks. those things are life savers. I just played around with colours#looks wise I colour picked from zaheer and then shifted around a little so they look similar enough yet not like clones of each other#but they’re also teenagers here so they wouldn’t resemble book 3 Zaheer much anyway#kat never mentioned ages but since their mother was looking for matches I assumed they were older than zaheer#he ran off at 11 or 12 iirc. so I decided they would have been 16 and 14 respectively#though in their community matches are probably made much earlier than actual marrying age. still.#if it was such a pressing matter that their mother was ‘preoccupied’ with it. then they were probably teenagers right#that’s what I’m gonna go for anyway since currently I have no information to disprove any of this#oh yeah Kat btw if you did have images of Zaheer’s sisters in mind before this then you don’t have to replace them. I just filled a blank#we’ve never talked about them so I assume there’s nothing. feel free to correct me. maybe someday we’ll discuss their personalities/lives#all I have is that they probably weren’t too close with zaheer. and their lives now are all about husbands kids and status. but we’ll see#hope you like them anyways <3
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