#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous

[paper-n-ashes]

The Late Shift

Characters: Paul Sevier x Female Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings/Tags: There’s actually none (I hope). I know. I’m surprised too.

Authors Note: This is so dumb. I’m aware. Look, I’ve been dealing with a horrendous writers block and shattered confidence and I made Paul Sevier gifs to ease my pain. It turned into this. I just wanted to try something a little cute and fluffy to get back into the swing of things. So... here it is.

*

It was going to be a long night.

Stuck on the Wednesday evening shift for the third time this month, you mindlessly fiddled with the pen in your hand. Twirling it between your fingers, your mind drifted away from the present moment, wondering why your boss seemed to dislike you so much to keep you here past 6pm in the middle of the week. He’d always been adamant this was prime selling time for this boutique suit store, with corporate clients needing to do their shopping outside of normal business hours.

You, however, knew keeping this place open was senseless, barely seeing more than a few unenthusiastic customers in these agonizingly slow stretches. Working on commission also made you all the more bitter about being paid minimum wage to stand behind a counter and doodle sketches of imaginary clients dressed in the outfits you personally tailored. This isn’t where you thought a Bachelor of Arts in Fashion Design would take you, that’s for sure.

“H-hello,” you heard a deep voice quietly greet you, startling you into focus. “Are you busy? I… think I need a little help.”

Eyes flickering up from the notepad, you were sure your pupils blew wide at the sight of the man in front of you. Standing at an imposingly large height, his hair a severely murky shade of black, with honeyed irises shining brightly behind delicate spectacles.

A human personification of tall, dark and handsome. Well, except for the clothes.

The stranger wore the layered combination of a grey tweed jacket and argyle patterned sweater, arranged over a particularly heinous, mustard-coloured button up. While the ensemble made you internally cringe, it gave him an air of intelligence, like the kind that hangs around stuffy, old college professors who have more academic accolades than you have fingers and toes.

“Me?” you coughed out, knowing full well you were the only other person in this tiny little shop. “Uh, yeah. I mean- No, no I’m not busy. What is it you need help with?” Even when you stood, the man towered above you, making you silently begin to calculate the high-numbered measurements you’d need to fit him in something.

“I have an important meeting scheduled for Friday. You know, the type you need to wear a suit to?” Evidently the thought of it made him nervous, as you noticed his cheek twitch slightly, his eyes scanning momentarily at the garments filling the space. “I’m… uh… not so great with clothes.”

Clearly, you chuckled inside your head, holding the word from your tongue. “You want me to pick out something for you?”

He took a defeated breath, his mouth twisting into an awkward yet wonderfully endearing smile. “Would you mind? Only if it’s not too much trouble.”

“No trouble!” you burst, maybe a little too excitedly. “It’s my job!” Bounding out from behind the counter you’d been imprisoned by, you moved directly to the section of classic navy business suits. Slim line. Something to accentuate his well-built frame, rather than hide it away. You had to pause, swivelling back around to the dumbfounded man. “Is price an issue… uh…?”

“Paul,” he answered for you, slowly moving to where you stood. “And… I suppose not. Probably should spend the money on something that will last. If you think it’s a good idea.”

Oh thank god, you mused without showing the relief on your face. He’s not some rich asshole trying to flash his cash. “A good suit can last you five years, if you treat it right.” Your hand reached over to graze one of the deepened blue sleeves of a jacket at your left. “And a classic colour will never go out of style.”

Paul let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I think you’ve already noticed how lacking in style I am…” He glanced to your nametag, murmuring your name with a goofy smirk curling his lips. You’d never seen a grown man, especially not one of this stature, appear so adorable. It was horribly distracting.

“I’m sure you have expertise in other areas,” you stumbled, realizing only when the words came out how offensive they might seem. Yet Paul conceded to your comment, his rumbling laugh making your chest feel tight.

“Debatable,” he shrugged. “I’m just glad I found some qualified personnel to help me in this instance.”

Oh boy. Humble and charming? You were in so much trouble. Surely someone as sweet as this had another waiting for them at home. “I’m sure your partner could help you pick out something nice too.”

“Not an option in my case.”

Shit. Single too. You were truly fucked.

You turned, trying to calm your erratic heartbeat by focusing on finding an outfit that would contain his longer limbs. Plucking out a matching jacket and trouser set, with an ivory, collared button-up, you offered them to Paul, his features having melted into a sweetened look of intrigue. “Go and try these on. There’s a changeroom just behind the counter. See how they feel, and we can go from there.”

He nodded, taking the pieces with both of his large hands and shuffling away to where you’d pointed to. No sooner than the latch had locked were you dashing to where your phone was sitting at the register, flitting out a rushed text message to your favourite co-worker.

There was rustling you heard emanating from the changeroom stall, doing your best to ignore the urge of picturing Paul, a man you’d met only minutes ago, gradually slipping off his clothes to reveal the toned muscles underneath. You grimaced at yourself, shaking your head to banish the imaginations. God this was unprofessional.

Finally, a response lit up on your phone screen.

You laughed softly through your nose, about to type a reply when you heard the lock click open again. The breath in your lungs was stuck as Paul made his way out, the expensive textiles draping over his burly frame in a way that made your whole body tense.

He rustled a hand through his hair, looking up to you while fidgeting with the starchy material stretched over his chest. “Does it look okay?”

After all these years working this job, the enticing novelty of attractive men in well-fitted suits had slowly worn off, especially when most of them treated you with about as much respect as the used gum they spit out onto the sidewalk. Suddenly, all those preconceived notions were gone. On Paul, this ensemble instantly became the most captivating thing in the entire universe.

The inside of your mouth flooded with saliva, having to swallow hard before speaking again. “Great… it looks… great.” You did your best to conceal a settling exhale. “What do you think? How does it feel?”

Paul shifted to look at his reflection in the mirror, pupils trailing up and down, flexing his limbs in an attempt to get a proper impression of the new apparel. “It feels really good. Makes me look… sophisticated.” He turned to you, his expression unsure. “Right?”

Your smile was sparkling, nodding to his question. There was a small amount of work to do, noting how in your effort to make sure everything complemented his physique, you’d oversized him. The waistline of the jacket needed to be taken in, the shoulder lines sitting slightly off, and the trouser length needing to be taken up slightly. “A couple of adjustments and it’ll be perfect.”

“You mean taking it to be tailored?”

“No need.” You pulled out the wheel of berry pins from your pocket, kneeling down on the floor next to Paul’s feet. “All our tailoring is included in the price. Done completely in house.” You began to fold the bottom edge of his pants, pinning it to an adequate length. “I can have it ready for you tomorrow, all ready for your Friday meeting.”

“You do all the tailoring yourself?” Paul asked as you slinked another pin through the fabric.

“Sure do,” you chirped, moving onto the other leg. “3 years at a design school taught me a few things about cutting and sewing.” With the hemlines in place, you straightened in front of him, plucking out a roll of measuring tape from your other pocket. “I just… need to take a few measurements to properly alter the jacket.”

His cheek twitched, the line of his jaw seeming somewhat strained. “Sure. F-fine. Do what you gotta do."

You went with determining his arm length first, feeling out the boney point of his shoulder and striping the lined tape all the way down to his wrist. Then, after taking a deep inhale, you curled your arms around his hips, focusing hard on the little black numbers to ignore the fact Paul’s breath had started to skate over your skin with this close proximity. It was when you were lining up the thickened stripes indicating his chest circumference that you made the mistake of peering up, finding his alluring stare fully concentrated on you.

There was a moment. A spark to waiting kindling. Where impulse could have led you to do a dangerous thing. You’d never been the hasty type, never acted without considerable thought. Usually so shy and composed, never making the first move. Although right now, you could scarcely hold yourself back, desperate to know the sensation of Paul’s lips, how they’d move over yours, what they tasted like.

No. This was so inappropriate.

The compulsion was about to wither away when you felt a hand skim up your waist, the lightened touch shooting a thrill over your skin.

“Excuse me,” a gruff voice called from your side. “How much are these dress socks?”

You immediately stepped back, smacked into reality again. “$12.99. Exactly what it says on the box.”

The older gentlemen scrutinized the packaging, lids narrowed until he finally saw the numbers plastered at the border. “Oh, right. Eh, a little expensive for my taste. Thanks anyway.”

Flustered, you began to coil the measuring tape into its resting spiral, forcefully glaring at the floor. “I’m all done. You can get dressed into your own clothes now.”

In your periphery you saw Paul regarding you with a gentle nod, walking back into the changeroom without another word. Every part of you wanted to sink beneath the wooden floorboards, so horrendously embarrassed you could feel a smoldering heat prickle at your cheeks. Only to relieve some of the nervous energy, you ran to your phone.

Again, Paul was exiting out of the stall just as you were going to submit your reply, placing the neatly arranged garments over the counter. It was difficult to look directly at him, having to summon all remaining shards of your courage to drift your eyes up to his face. “Was there anything else you needed?”

His mouth parted, only to quickly snap shut, scratching at his hairline in the seconds it took for him to give you a response. “No. Nothing else. Unless there’s something more you think I need.”

You shook your head, wishing you could give another answer just to keep him here. “You’re all set.” The full price of his items flashed on the monitor in front of you, spouting it to him as your fingers flicked across the keyboard to finalize the purchase, with a personal discount that wouldn’t show on the receipt.

“When should I come by to pick it up?” he queried, passing you his credit card. “Oh, but there’s no pressure. Whenever you have the time is just fine.”

An idea flared. “If you give me your number, I can text you when it’s ready.”

“That works for me.”

Erasing all evidence of the conversation you’d been having, you brought up the number pad, handing your phone over. Paul swiftly typed in his details before placing it back in your palm. ‘Paul the Suit Guy’ the contact read, unable to stifle your laugh.  

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” His eager expression made your heart quiver through a beat.

“Y-yeah,” you stammered. “I’ll see you then.”

Paul waved his hand in an awkward flourish to signal his goodbye, eventually moving far enough from your vision for you to finally take a full, relaxed breath. In a dazed hurry, you keyed in your returning message to your co-worker.

It was the precise moment your thumb had pressed into the ‘Send’ button that you realised your recipient wasn’t the one you’d intended.

You’d sent this message straight to Paul.

Fuck. Oh fuck. This was bad.

While you were scrambling to formulate a believable excuse, a new message popped up onto the screen.

Tags for my lovelies who might tolerate this nonsense: @tlcwrites @roanniom @princessxkenobi @hopeamarsu @blowthatpieceofjunk @mariesackler @leatherboundriot @foxilayde @modernpaw @cornmousequeen @direnightshade @safarigirlsp @blackberries45 @mylifeisactuallyamess @caillea @jynzandtonic @beskarbabs​

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[bangtanmythology]

In The Name Of Song. The Pack

Part five: The Pack:

Seokjin discovers he isn’t the only one who knows who you are and maybe you’re the key to fixing his sick pack mate. 

Words: 1.4K

Previous | Next

“Where is Y/N?” Seokjin’s voice was quiet, hurt, as he stared into your parents face, the bed where you had been just a few days before was left empty, untouched, thin sheets splayed across the floor, a small note on the bed.

Dear werewolves,

I took Y/N, she’ll be back when she’s ready to come back to this world,

Tell your werewolf friend that she’s transitioning,

She isn’t hurt, I’m keeping her safe,

Do NOT look for her,

Kindly,

Min Yoongi.

He knew who that was. He knew that Yoongi was the devil that cared for the 7th reality, supernatural creatures would go there for training, to continue the cycle that had been there for years. They had to kill those who committed sins in this world. He had gone there a few years ago, when he had left you all those years, he had known about it, an older werewolf who had been in his father’s pack had told him. He assumed you didn’t know about it, since you hadn’t told him about it. He wasn’t here. That was the problem, he had been gone. He wasn’t even in the pool house, where he’d usually be at the time. He was helping the youngest of the pack, Jungkook, he had been unwell for a while. At first, they had thought that he was going through heat, despite him having gone through several heats before, none had been like that one he was experiencing. Hoseok was convinced that it was because his mate had been nearby, that he could sense this and needed her company. Taehyung was more convinced that it was an actual sickness, perhaps a flu that just hit the werewolf too hard. Being a vampire, Taehyung clearly didn’t realise that werewolves didn’t simply catch colds.

Namjoon, their alpha was away, leaving Seokjin to tend to the younger wolf.

“When you came back from the 7th reality, you didn’t age as you have there, you came back at a normal age, the age you would have been if you had stayed here,” Your mum was staring at him, a small frown on her lips, “Do you think Y/N can do the same?” She asked, hopeful eyes staring through him.

“Well, I highly doubt that, I made a deal with a witch, she agreed with me that if I stayed for longer than I was supposed to, I could return back to my original age that I would have been in the real world. I spent a total of 3 years away from this world, do you know how I survived? When I began to get too old, she’d have a fallen angel bring me back to when I was 18 and then when she didn’t need me anymore, she returned me to this world, aged 18. I know and have done so many horrible things. She had me do her dirty work for her and if I was of use, she had me do everything. I was there as her muscle as she liked to put it. Y/N wouldn’t do that, she’ll come out in a few years, she’ll be older.” Seokjin was gripping the note hard in his hand.

“So, if it was only 3 years where were you for the other 3, when you didn’t come back until Y/N had turned 14?” Your father was glaring at the werewolf, eyes stone cold.

“Werewolves cannot survive on their own, they need a pack, I left for a year to find a pack, I hunted down two werewolves, they were sticking together, an alpha and an omega, their Salutary was away, disappeared and they were trying to hunt him down. That Salutary was discovered by me and the two of them almost a year and a half later. He was with a vampire, a vampire who had been strangely raised by werewolves who had then become the sentinel of the pack. We established our pack and I became the Beta of the pack, second in command. It took us another six months to vacate the cabin in the woods not far from here, the Omega had requested water nearby so we had to take down that cabin to ensure no predators could lurk and in the six months we built our own new cabin,” Seokjin seemed to have his whole life figured out, everything was in place for him.

“So, were you the one who’s been watching over Y/N in that werewolf for the last year then?” Your mums face was drawn into a sour pout, lips wrinkled around the edges and tired hollowed eyes staring over the younger man’s head. His eyes creased into a confused expression, his brain leaping from conclusion to conclusion.

“no-“

There was a large gap before any more words were said, Seokjin’s brain found the only possible conclusion that made sense. Jungkook.

“I’ll be back, I know who it was!”

And with those final words Seokjin was leaping up from your bed, running through the house and down the streets, towards the forest. His feet stumbling and tripping as he rid himself of layers of clothing, the late hour allowing him to comfortably do so. His ankles twisted, bones cracked and popped out of their sockets. A horrifying crack and creak of breaking bones echoed throughout the empty streets and then a beautiful brown wolf with Golden sunshine eyes leapt through the concrete streets that slowly became leaf covered dirt and the crunching beneath his paws soon reached the ears of 4 supernatural beings that resided deep in the forest. His paws halted all movement as they reached the large cabin, The Alpha was stood in the doorway, strict, cold eyes staring at the older wolf.

“Seokjin, why didn’t you fetch me?” His voice was cold and tired, a hunt had clearly gone badly for him, his tight expression told Seokjin so much as his bones returned to normal. His naked body shook as he adjusted back to his human state.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind Namjoon, the girl I lo- “

“Our pack comes first!”

The voice boomed across the expanse of the forest, skating over the length of the large lake and bouncing through the walls of the cabin, two younger men came bounding through the door, one of pale dead complexion and one with a completely puzzled look on his face. The Alpha’s eyes were glowing red, a threat sitting low in his throat, a growl emitting from him that had the Beta lowering his head and clasping his hands together in front of him.

“Well, I also helped that girl,” Hobi’s voice was low and shy, unwilling to meet the eyes of the Alpha and Beta, the younger next to him sucked in a deep breath.

“Man, werewolves are so stupid,” His voice was full of laughter, a joke to lighten the dark atmosphere that had taken over the late afternoon.

“Who is this special girl? How important is she that you both prioritised her over Jungkook!?” His voice began calm but by the end Namjoon was raising his voice loud enough to make the three men flinch.

“I don’t know her, Yoongi asked me for help, you know I assist him in the 7th reality every so often, she had just transitioned for the first time! Her legs were all cut up and she was in pain, she couldn’t move, I had to help her, you know my good werewolf nature mixed with my motherly instinct from my jaguar side makes me good at caring for others,” He was enthusiastically putting together a case to protect himself, once again using his breeds to his advantage.

“Hobi, I wish you’d stop blaming your idiocy on your mixed breed heritage,” Namjoon mumbled, eyes darting straight to Seokjin.

“Okay, first, Hobi what the fuck! Why did not tell me! That girl, that’s- My- That-“ His head was reeling at this information, Y/N was hurt, she really did need him and he didn’t help her, instead, his dumb were jaguar pack mate.

“That’s Y/N, my little Y/N, my own little sister, the person who I was supposed to protect with my life and yet, you-, you did more for her than I could,” Seokjin was truly dejected, a pang of guilt hitting him straight through the heart.

“so what? This girl is the reason you wanted to be close to this god-awful town?” Namjoon was sighing, eyes returning to normal as he watched the older male nod his head.

“her name is Y/N, she’s a mermaid, something is wrong with her, she needs to be with me, by my side, she’s my mate, I need her, you need to get her out of that reality, bring her back here.”

The voice was weak and exhausted, a slight pant accentuating each word, his body heaving with the efforts of having moved from his bed. A small shirt was gripped into his tight fist, a familiar scent overtaking Seokjin’s nose. A wet cloth sat snug on Jungkook’s forehead, ragged hair sticking to the material, droplets of sweat working their way down his exposed torso.

“Jungkook, you couldn’t even move before, did Hobi- “

“I didn’t do anything, it’s the shirt, it’s Y/Ns, I happened to have it with me in my bag, I completely forgot about it but I pulled it out when I was helping Jungkook, and he turned into some feral beast, he attacked me and ripped it from my hands,” Hobi was waving his arms as he spoke, exaggerating every word with a movement of his wrist. Taehyung was nodding along to everything,

“It’s true Namjoon, his eyes were glowing red, they were so scary, he became a different person, he just snatched the shirt and sniffed it and then he seemed to get better, it was like magic, of course, magic isn’t real be-“

“enough!” Namjoon was once again making all the boys flinch, all except Jungkook who remained stoic as his body shook with fever.

“Seokjin did you know about this?” Namjoon was rubbing his hands over his face, anger filling his every pore. Seokjin shook his head,

“I didn’t but that’s why I came over, I had a feeling, I knew something wasn’t right, Jungkook has been switching in to his werewolf form involuntarily for the past few days, he always leaves for hours but comes back every time slightly better than when he left, I think his wolf has been taking him to see her,” Seokjin was now sitting on the steps of the cabin, a dressing gown pulled snug over his body that Taehyung had put over him a few minutes prior.

“then, we need to cut her training short and bring her here,”

[basket-of-radiants]

I have many thoughts about KLM, I don't know where to start. They range from how the other two are going to react to Kal being benched (I mean one day he just stops showing up to fights) to an AU where Venli is captured alongside her Lady, by enemy Captain Stormblessed and is lost as to why Leshwi bantering/flirting with him. When her Lady's knight arrives to save them he just kinda curls up on Stormblessed's lap complaining about not being part of the initial kidnapping, confusing Venli more.

Thank you for talking to me about this.

1) I absolutely love how you’ve placed Venli as a fourth wheel in this gang (but imo she would not be confused, just exasperated like “oh god you guys are really doing this, you realize I’m still here right, you want me to translate what for him, fuck me and fuck your passions I guess this is happening.”)

2) I can’t really imagine a scenario wherein Leshwi gets captured unless it’s on purpose somehow, in which case Vyre showing up to “rescue” her would be even funnier.

3) I recognize that K/L/M isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and normally when I subject you guys to massive walls of text it’s for dumb au’s involving cereal or roller skates or whatever and not shipping, so I’m gonna put a cut here before I absolutely Go Off.

Have I said. K/L/M as a knight/lady/dragon dynamic is the most perfect thing imaginable, particularly when it’s not the knight who belongs to the lady, but the dragon (INSPIRED casting for Moash), particularly when Leshwi can fill all three roles as the scene demands it, particularly when Kaladin views them both as The Enemy and they don’t view him that way.

Like, when played straight this relationship has so fucking much potential for drama and angst. Kaladin being in love with his enemies, knowing he has to fight them and trying to kill them but also knowing that if anything happened to them it would destroy him. Leshwi navigating court politics, as someone of her station consorting with a human would be scandal in of itself, but a Radiant as well? Plus trying to balance her passions for her people with those for her lovers. Moash turning himself into a monster for Leshwi’s sake, willingly becoming for her an agent of destruction but who still pines for Kaladin and would do anything not to hurt him again but who only ends up hurting him more. These three have all given up their personhood in different ways and have all become killers for the sake of others, and yet that personhood they willingly banish from themselves is what they cherish in one another. Emotionally charged fights. Combatively charged conversations. Love conquers all in the end. Or does it, maybe they’re doomed to be tragic, which also works really well.

Or if you don’t want to be all serious and want to play this fun, there are plenty of great ways to do that too. You can have Leshwi/Vyre as a power couple who keep setting one another up with a blushing and baffled Kaladin, who had really come here to fight or so he had thought, oh storms why are they smiling at him. You can have Vyre tell Leshwi all about Kaladin while holding her hand, and she goes off and sees him for the first time in a battle and afterwards Vyre is like “weeeeeell?~~” and Leshwi is like “you’re right, he’s pretty great.” You can have Kaladin confront him and say “Moash why would join Odium’s side” and he just points at Leshwi and Kaladin just says “you know what that’s fair.” (Wait I’m about to make a joke.) You can have Kaladin and Leshwi together and Kal is like “fuck Moash?” and Leshwi is like “oh absolutely” and Kaladin whistfully goes “yeah me too.” (There I made a joke, you’re laughing now.)

These three are the perfect trio for fight-flirting because they’ve all tried to kill each other in every combination on different occasions. Plus if you want to make it cute and light, nowadays they can all regenerate, so they’re fine. I also love the idea of them teasing each other over one another’s combat prowess. (M: “Wow Leshwi you treat all the guys who kill you like this?” L: “I mean yes, but also Kaladin has never actually beaten me, I lied.” M: “Really? Wow I guess I’m just better at fighting than both of you then ;)” K: “Oh yeah, do you want to step outside and fucking try me? ;)”)

Okay, I see your “Leshwi gets captured” au but what about one where Kaladin gets captured instead, like Lezian or someone are going to kill him and Leshwi makes a deal where if she can keep him safe if he’s her prisoner so she uses one of those suppressor fabrials. Maybe Vyre goes to talk to him and Kaladin knows he should just kill him but is still in love with him so he’s willing to hear him out anyway and then it turns out to have been a setup so you can have more tragic betrayals between them, but once he’s been captured Leshwi and Vyre still spend a lot of time with him and Kaladin is like “wait hold on, you two are actually important, can we negotiate for peace” and Leshwi’s like “neither of us are actually representatives of our respective sides” and Kaladin is pleading with her like “please, no one on my side believes talking to you is even possible but they’re wrong" and he tries to instill idealism into her jaded soul. And then eventually Leshwi agrees to try and she lets him go so he can arrange a meating from his end. Bonus points if he has to kill her in order to “escape” so that the other fused don’t think she’s a traitor. So he goes back to Uritiru or whatever. And even more bonus points if Vyre didn’t know about this plan and so he goes after him pissed that he killed Leshwi, and Kaladin is able to calm him down but it’s too late he’s been noticed, so the other humans are like “holy shit that’s the traitor” and Vyre is like “bite me” and Kaladin is trying to protect him while he’s being very hard to protect. Like Kaladin will panic and say something like “it’s okay he’s changed” and Vyre will be like “I have not and I am not sorry” and Kaladin is like “you are making my life so hard right now.” Anyway, Leshwi comes back obviously and eventually there’s a meeting and idk how it goes but Kaladin and Vyre and Leshwi probably elope at some point, and holy shit what am I doing.

God. How does writing fanfic work. Someone help. I think we need something longer form for this.

Another idea I like inspired by your ask is a Venli-centric story wherein she’s a personal courier to Leshwi and since her Lady has to keep up appearances (plus she’s too busy with her own political career), Venli is the one tasked with facilitating a secret courtship between her and Kaladin, an enemy knight. Moash is sent with her for protection and Venli 1) is confused by the chemistry he seems to have with both of them and 2) is growing increasingly exasperated by how the fairly utilitarian demands, decrees, and warnings she carries seem to be getting gushier every time she’s sent with a new one. It wouldn’t be so bad but Kaladin can’t fucking read so she has to read it all out loud to him and then write down his responses herself. Her escort seems unphased by the fact that the two people he fancies are obviously trading love letters. Venli just wants to help her people, okay? She doesn’t have time for this shit.

Honestly there’s a lot to explore insofar as a domestic relationship with these three too. I’m just imagining a scene where Leshwi starts humming something and Kaladin just turns to Moash and is like “...what is she saying” and Moash is just “uhhhh I think she’s sad about something-no wait--?” Or like, the dynamic of Moash being super casual about how he treats the relationship and Kaladin being super solemn and Leshwi being super passionate.

Or you could go for a thing where Moash is a classic bad boy who Kaladin is trying to bring back to the light except he kind of loves Leshwi and kind of wishes he was working with her too. I kind of also like Kaladin and Moash and Leshwi getting together with no parties being rehabilitated or changed or anything. (K: “I hate this guy.” M: “Okay, I’ll kill him for you then :)” K: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!” while Leshwi iweighs the argument of both those statements.)

There is just so much potential. You don’t understand. There’s so much.

[olliedollie1204]

the kids are alright

AKA, Kai will see Elliott and ask “Is anyone going to adopt that?” and not wait for an answer

Edit: now also on AO3!

Characters: Kai, Elliott, Emile Picani, Larry and Dot (mentioned)

Words: 2,354

(A/N: I read both Elliott and Kai as being older teenagers, with Elliott being like 17/18 and Kai being 19/20? That might not be accurate but that’s the vibes for this.)

As soon as Kai pushed his way through the glass door, he started the process of freeing himself from the ridiculous amount of safety gear he had to wear while skateboarding.

Off came the elbow pads, knee pads, and wrist guards, which he dumped unceremoniously in his backpack; then he undid his helmet, the black and purple gradient one that Lauren got him when he told her he was gonna take up skating again. That, he tucked under his arm for safekeeping, grabbing his board with his other hand as he made his way down the hall to Picani’s waiting room.

Kai didn’t know how many patients the quack doctor had; enough to keep his business from shutting down, he guessed, but he’d never even seen another person in the building at any of the sessions he’d been to already.

So the sight of someone actually sitting on the waiting room couch made Kai freeze in his tracks.

The other person— around Kai’s age, maybe a little younger— had their eyes on their phone, and made no outward reaction when Kai appeared in the doorway; but Kai was way too suspicious of everything around him to not pick up on the way the kid’s eyes flicked towards him for less than a second before returning to their phone, or the way their thumb was moving across the screen too fast and haphazard for them to actually be doing anything.

They were nervous, Kai suddenly realized, because he’d shown up, and now the two of them were alone in a tiny waiting room of a therapist’s office.

Ah, fuck. Kai hated knowing people were uncomfortable. His social anxiety wasn’t quite like that, but he’d certainly seen enough of his friends go through it to know that this encounter was ticking a lot of boxes: in tight quarters, with a stranger, in a vulnerable setting, in silence.

Well, Kai never had much of a filter anyway, so he might as well try to relieve some of the tension in the room.

“Sup,” he offered, dropping onto the other end of the couch, leaving the cushion in the middle empty as a buffer space. The kid nodded politely, pulling their backpack up onto their lap and hugging it against their chest. Kai caught a glimpse of a ‘they/them’ pronoun button on their bag.

He felt a release of breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Thank fuck, another one.

“Did the Doc double book his appointments or something?”

Kai pretended not to notice the way the kid jumped slightly before looking at him, hesitant and confused.

“I’m sorry?”

Kai gestured towards the door. “I’m his 11 o’clock. What’re you in for?”

The kid faltered for a second before holding up a crumpled stack of papers in their hand. “I, um, just need to drop off some paperwork.”

“You had to do that in person?” Kai asked. Too late, he realized the words were kind of unnecessarily hostile, but, well, he wasn’t a people person, so he didn’t know what the fuck he should be doing better, okay?

Luckily, the kid didn’t seem too bothered, merely looking down at their lap and picking at their nail polish.

“Uh, he asked me to? I was gonna email them but he said he doesn’t have a computer, so…” They trailed off, apparently not knowing how to finish the sentence.

Kai furrowed his brow. “How does he advertise his shit without a computer? That just seems like a bad business practice.”

They shrugged. “I mean, I guess word of mouth is good enough. Um, my friend told me about him, but I don’t actually know where she heard about him.”

“Same,” Kai replied. “My girlfriend made me come here at first, but she never told me how the fuck she found him. Probably some magic newspaper ad— ‘The person you need is Emile Picani’, or some dumb shit like that.”

The kid huffed a small laugh. “Was that— was that a Nanny McPhee reference?”

“… Huh,” Kai replied after a moment. “Yeah, it was. Didn’t think you’d recognize it.”

Again the kid shrugged, but now there was a small smile on their face. Kai grinned back, leaning against the stiff couch and kicking one leg on the table as he bounced his other leg against the floor.

“I’m Kai,” he said, lazily throwing up a peace sign. The kid blinked in surprise.

“Um, Elliott. Nice to… meet you,” they finished awkwardly.

“Same,” Kai replied, nodding. The room fell silent for a couple beats before he continued, “Still, no computer. I mean, Jesus, get with the times, man!”

“Probably doesn’t have one because he spent all his money on stuffed animals and Funko Pops,” Elliott muttered. The quip came fast, and Kai let out a huff of surprised laughter. Fuck, yes. Now this was something he wanted to talk about.

“Okay, I have to ask you this, because no one else will fucking get it,” he blurted, turning so he was facing Elliott more directly. They looked at him with slight apprehension as Kai leaned closer.

“What is his deal with cartoons?”

A beat, and then a slightly exasperated half-smile formed on Elliott’s face. “I know. It’s like, I assume he went to school for, you know, counseling or whatever, but he only knows how to explain things through kids’ shows? Like, how did you even get your degree? Or your license?”

Kai nodded. “I mean, I guess it makes sense. That hyper ass motherfucker practically is a cartoon character. Like, you know how he literally sings when he walks in the room? Who fucking does that?”

“Yes!” Elliott’s smile finally broke through completely. “Yes, oh my God, yes. And have you noticed the way he’s, like, incapable of sitting still? Like, he practically bounces all over the place, he throws his arms and legs everywhere, and his face—” 

“Oh, way too many facial expressions, for sure,” Kai finished. “Oh! Oh, and sometimes he’ll, like, scrunch his nose up and stick his tongue out when he’s taking notes or whatever? Like—” 

Kai demonstrated, making Elliott snort with laughter. Kai started laughing, too— it wasn’t a particularly funny impression, but something about the dissipating awkwardness in the room made laughter come easier.

“And you can’t talk about any other form of media with him, because he won’t get it!” Elliott continued, their voice brightening throughout the conversation. “Like, anime? Never heard of it.”

“Video games are a bust, too,” Kai added. “Unless it’s, like, ‘Steven Universe: Save the Light’ or some shit.”

Elliott paused before sheepishly holding up a finger. “Actually, I’ll give him that one. My first real session, he, uh, he talked about Steven Universe for an hour, and— I don’t know, it’s not that bad.” They shrugged again, suddenly timid again.

Kai blinked. Backtrack, dumbass, backtrack. “No, yeah, I— I actually think the shit he talks about is… you know, it can be good, or whatever. Helpful.”

Ugh, fuck, that was embarrassing. Even though Kai could admit that Picani’s methods weren’t completely insane, he didn’t wanna share the intimate details of why he was there with someone he just met, even though Elliott seemed like a pretty cool kid.

He was just starting to visualize the letters WWLD in his head— What Would Lauren Do?— but thank fuck, the two of them were saved from any more awkward apologies by Picani’s office door swinging open. Kai slumped even further in his seat, while out of the corner of his eye he saw Elliot go ramrod straight.

A kind looking couple walked out of the office, holding hands and speaking quietly to themselves.

“Alright, Dorry, I’ll see ya next time!” The doctor’s cheerful voice carried into the waiting room as the couple left.

Eliiott darted their eyes to Kai, mouthing, ‘Dorry?’

‘Like the fucking fish?’ Kai mouthed back, making Elliott snort. The noise made Kai struggle to stifle his laughter in the otherwise silent waiting room, and suddenly the two of them were folding in on themselves, hands pressed over their mouths in a weak attempt at keeping quiet.

“Well, hey there, Thing One and Thing Two!”

Kai and Elliott snapped their heads up in unison, looking to where Picani was leaning in the doorway.

“I’m sorry for the wait, but I must say, I’m so happy to see you two smiling for once!” The doctor giggled, smoothing his tie and giving them both a knowing look.

Kai glared at him, opening his mouth to deliver some scathing retort, but he was interrupted by Elliott practically jumping off of the couch.

“Here’s the paperwork you asked me to bring.” They thrust their arm out to Picani, who took the papers and carefully smoothed out their wrinkles.

“Ah, thank you, Elliott! Kai, you mind hanging tight in my office for a second?”

Kai nodded wordlessly, gathering his bag and his skateboard and brusquely moving past the others into the small office. He dropped onto the couch, his bag hitting the ground with a weighty ‘thud’, as he tried not to eavesdrop too much on Picani and Elliott in the hallway. ‘Tried’ being the keyword, since they were about two feet away from the door, and Picani was a loud motherfucker.

“Thanks for bring this in for me, Tinkerbelliott!”

“That barely makes sense,” Elliot’s voice interrupted, and Kai smirked to the empty room. Get his ass, Elliott.

As the conversation continued, Kai let the rise and fall of their voices wash over him. He tried to get into his “whatever” mindset, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the kid in the waiting room.

It was like he and Elliott had some instant fucking connection or anything cheesy like that. They weren’t platonic soulmates, and honestly, it didn’t even seem like they had that much in common. But as Kai sat there, lazily rolling his board back and forth under his feet, he couldn’t help but think about all the crazy shit Picani put him through, and how talking about it with someone who really got it was… kinda fun, or whatever.

“So sorry for the wait, Agni Kai!”

Picani’s chipper voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and suddenly there was the Doc himself, shooting him a friendly smile as he made his way behind his desk.

“I’ve just been busier than a Mighty Bee this morning,” he rambled, sliding Elliott’s paperwork into a file while still managing to talk with his hands. “But I promise, starting this second all of my attention is on you. So!” he finished, folding his hands on the desk and looking at Kai expectantly. “What’s up?”

Kai looked at him for a few seconds before standing, the abrupt movement startling Picani and making him jump back in his rolly chair.

“Kai—?” 

“I’m taking this,” Kai stated, snatching a pen from the cup on his desk before Picani could respond.

“Oh! Um, ok, just be careful because it’s a glitter gel pen—” Picani’s voice got quieter as Kai swung himself out of the office, hoping he could catch Elliott without having to try and run.

Thank fuck, as he turned down the main hallway, he caught a glimpse of a figure dressed mostly in black halfway to the front door.

“Yo, Elliott, hold up!”

They froze for a moment before turning around to face Kai, curiosity and wariness lining their face.

When he got closer, Kai pointed to the folded paper Elliot was holding. “Is that important?”

“Um, no, not really— ah.” They cut themselves off as Kai snatched the paper out of their hand. “Okay.”

Kai didn’t respond as he flipped the paper over, leaning against the wall to scribble something on the back.

“You got Instagram?”

A beat, and then Elliott nodded. Kai finished with a flourish, underlining what he’d written despite it being the only thing on the paper, and passed it back to Elliott.

“Here. Follow me, I’ll follow you back,” he said as Elliott read his messy scrawl, their mouth dropping just slightly.

“Oh!” There was a distinct tone of surprise in their voice, which Kai didn’t comment on. They folded the paper in half and held it tightly in their fist. “Um, thanks, Kai. I’ll— I’ll do that as soon as I get home.”

Kai nodded. There was just a beat of awkward silence before he spun on his heel, walking casually back to Picani’s office.

“Later,” he called over his shoulder, not looking back.

“Um, yeah!” Elliott replied in a voice that clearly wasn’t used to yelling. “Later! Bye!”

Kai heard the front door open and close again by the time he reached Picani’s waiting room. He swung around the corner, feeling uncharacteristically optimistic for his session, but barely stopped himself before he collided with the good doctor himself.

“Woah! Watch out, Speed Racer!” Picani chirped, looking down at Kai. “Thought you were trying to make a run for it.”

Kai rolled his eyes before setting his gaze somewhere over the other man’s shoulder. “I left literally all of my shit in your office, obviously I was coming back.”

“Well, you just left in a real hurry, is all!” Picani replied, reaching up to straighten his tie. His voice went strangely neutral as he continued to ask, “Did you need to talk to Elliott before they left?”

Kai’s eyes flicked back to the doctor’s face, and— ugh, fuck, Picani was looking at him with that annoying sort of half-smile he always got when he thought Kai had reached some stupid ‘breakthrough’.

Kai flushed, folding his arms across his chest. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Picani—” 

“Nothing!” Picani replied with faux-innocence, putting his hands up defensively. “Just nice to see you making a friend, that’s all.”

Kai groaned, rolling his eyes so hard they nearly got stuck in the back of his head.

“Don’t be weird, man,” he grumbled, pushing past Picani into his office. He pretended not to hear the doctor’s amused chuckle as he followed him in, gently shutting the two of them in for what Kai was certain would be yet another absolutely ridiculous (yet unfortunately helpful) therapy session.

[getoutofthewater]

@dbhrarepairs Saturday Day 6 [Ride or Die]: 

[Gavin/Leo]

Rating: G

Notes: Same Age AU, High School AU

Words: 3,200 [AO3]

They met at the foster home.

Gavin went in and out of them regularly since he’d been put in the system, nosy neighbors disturbed by his parents nasty fights had cared enough about the neglected child overridden with lice to call the authorities.

Gavin had been taken away, so he wasn’t there when his house and surname ended up plastered all over the news just like his dad’s brains, and that same nosy neighbor on the TV, framed by the yellow tape, telling to whomever would listen he’d seen this coming all along, you could see that man had lost his marbles from the get go and the missus none the better, it happened one way but it could have easily been the other, the world was better off without them, god bless.

All of this did Gavin no favors, he’d dodged that bullet, but hopeful parents weren’t overeager to  take on so much baggage, by the time the powers that be decided to send him farther away from home so his name wouldn’t be linked to the crime scene, by the time it was all forgotten, he’d already decided he hated everyone, and if everyone thought he would kill them in their sleep he’d make sure their fears were justified, even if he had been worryingly stuck at 5’9 for a while, he blamed malnutrition.

When Leo was dropped off at the foster home, Gavin had recognized him immediately, all the kids there did, with his good clothes and his puffy, red eyes, it was like that movie about the stupid cartoon dogs, where the cute dog is taken to the pound, and everyone is jealous of her because they know she’s different and she’ll be out of there in no time. That’s what kids like Leo were, pedigree dipshits that were there for half a day crying their eyes out while relatives were located and arrangements were made.

Pedigree idiots were either bullied or ignored for their 10 minutes of residence, when it was clear that Leo would fight even while crying most of the kids concluded the latter option was best; but by the second week tension started to settle in, was Leo staying after all? If so the pecking order had to be established, there were one or two fights before Leo had come to Gavin maybe deciding in either a rare stroke of smarts or extreme dumbassery, (it was always hard to tell with Leo) that if he defeated the one at the top of the food chain he’d be left alone.

Gavin threw a punch right at Leo���s face, and Leo in the wild flailing he called fighting had punched Gavin in the jaw, getting him just right in the tooth that had been hurting like a bitch for weeks, Gavin was knocked down to the floor from tooth ache, his jaw throbbing, an abscess ruptured, he vomited. Someone was screaming at them for ruining the carpet, Leo’s blood was everywhere.

Gavin was forcibly taken to have a root canal done, Leo’s nose was patched up.

“I’m sorry I fucked up your mouth” Leo said when he found him that night,

“You just got lucky” Gavin mumbled, the anesthetic working better now than it had at the dentist’s office

“Here” Leo said offering Gavin a granola bar, those things were almost currency

“Are you fucking with me?” Gavin spat “I can’t feel my mouth right now, genius”

“But you will … right?”

“Whatever” Gavin said snatching the prize out of Leo’s hands

Leo sat next to him though he hadn’t been invited, Gavin didn’t know what in the fuck was happening

“Why the fuck are you still here?” Gavin snarled

Leo shrugged, trying to make the gesture look light and careless “I think my dad hasn’t returned their calls and stuff,”

Gavin had meant why the fuck was Leo still sitting next to him but it was just like this self centered dumbass to interpret it differently

“Don’t you worry, fucking dummies like you are always picked up”

“I can punch you again, you know”

“Whathefuckever, I don’t feel my face anyway”

Gavin wasn’t wrong, soon enough Leo was picked up to be taken to his dad’s house, he’d given Gavin a hug goodbye, a real hug with a gentle squeeze, and maybe some of the dummy’s luck had rubbed off on him then because a few days after Leo left it was Gavin’s turn.

Hank Anderson never thought he’d be fostering a child, maybe even adopting the child. Jeffrey and his wife fostered often, Hank hadn’t paid that much attention to it, until now, until his bad days were something he could think about in past tense.

Hank talked it with Jeffrey, with Connor, it was worth the try, not a young child though. Hank didn’t feel good about that, that would be unloyal to Cole, and yeah, it may be an illogical thought, but it was his thought and dammit he was old and what of it if he wanted to be stubborn on this one, but maybe an older kid would be alright, a teenager, maybe an unruly one that was running out of options fast. Hank could deal with that. Hank got Gavin.  

Gavin entered any new situation with suspicion and aggression it had worked well for him so far, and anyway at 16 he was almost a fucking adult, he didn’t need any fucking geezer breathing down his neck, who knew if the guy was a creep, certainly not the social workers. When the geezer opened the door to his house it was even worse, there was a dog, a fucking big fucking dog. Gavin stepped back

“Nothing to be afraid of, son” Hank reassured him “Old sumo wouldn’t hurt a fly”

“I’m not fucking afraid” Gavin spat “And I’m not your fucking anything!”

“Are we going to have a problem?” Hank said raising a serious eyebrow “First five seconds, we are going to set a record, I don’t want to give that old bat that dropped you off the damn satisfaction”

Gavin had to admit the geezer had a point “I’m not afraid of the dumb dog” Gavin said surly

“Fine, but the dog is not dumb,” Hank said patting Sumo, in a way that said, ‘nevermind moody teenagers’ “come in, then”

Pretty soon it was evident to Gavin that the only creepy thing about the geezer was his cringe music collection. Hank didn’t care if Gavin was messy, or if he put his feet up on the coffee table, he didn’t care if Gavin swore as long as he didn’t swear at the dog, and Gavin was perfectly cool with the dog as long as the dog didn’t drool all over his shit, he may have even patted Sumo’s head once when the geezer was at work. Gavin had a curfew but he didn’t really mind, there wasn’t anywhere for him to be after 10 pm anyway, and lacking someone to fight, he’d gone and enrolled in the wrestling summer course at the school, where for the first time his talent for messing people up was a plus.  

Gavin was aware of his luck, he could sit here and wait to turn 18; there were worse places to be; the awkward dinners Hank would insist on having together, where they sat in silence, none of them knowing what to say, trying to pretend the silence wasn’t fucking uncomfortable, all the conversation starters Hank threw out there fizzling and dying like mosquitoes bumping against a bug zapper and falling on the table miserably, those  lame fucking dinners were a  very cheap price to pay for a room all to himself, a bathroom he only had to share with one other person, and knowing he could sleep and nobody would come try to steal his shit or try to fuck with him.

When school started in autumn, he didn’t have any plans to make friends, but he’d already had a head start, his wrestling teammates saw him as one of them, Gavin somehow ended up hanging out with Chris a lot, even if Chris fucking sucked at the sport, members of the cheerleading team would say hi to him in the halls, he didn’t know their names, he didn’t care to know them, but they saw him as part of the team.

And then there was Tina, Gavin didn’t know quite how that had happened, you didn’t meet Tina, Tina was something that happened to you.  Gavin liked her leagues better than anyone at the school, he could talk to her and Tina would actually listen to what he was saying, not just make her own fucking version of it in her head like most of the other stupid kids. Soon he found himself sitting with Tina and Chris at lunch and not hating it, and he’d feel, somewhat uncomfortably, that maybe all of this was actually working out for him.

And one day there was Leo, somehow, standing with his lunch tray in his hands and a fading black eye, looking around the hall with the lost, unseeing gaze of someone who doesn’t really have anyone to find but will put on the show of it anyway.

“Dumbass!” Gavin called out waving at him, as if he were fucking possessed, he didn’t know the idiot, what the fuck.

But Leo didn’t need more of an invitation; he sat next to Gavin, with what seemed a sigh of relief, Gavin’s two friends stared expectantly, waiting for him to make some sort of introduction, which Gavin, of course, didn’t.

“Hey, I’m Leo” Leo said introducing himself, sounding more natural and friendly than Gavin would ever have

“You got transferred?” Tina said lightly after introducing herself and Chris

“More like, forcibly removed from my old school, really” Leo said with a sheepish shrug

“How do you know Gavin?” Chris asked, trying to direct the conversation towards less awkward places

“He broke my nose at a foster home?” Leo’s words got higher to end in the pitch of a question as he realized everything in his life leading to this moment had been a mistake. “but, I also really fucked up his abscessed tooth, so it was even!”

“Oh! I can totally see that!” Tina said chirpily, kicking Gavin’s shin under the table  

It was that easy, from not knowing the dumbass to suffering the dumbass daily. The excited way in which he’d tell Gavin about ice skating, the disgusting way in which he’d puke all over himself when he drank way too much at stupid parties. Leo would take Gavin’s notebooks only to draw dicks with stupid cartoon faces on them, or if he was in a very good mood cute cats, Gavin had counted 3 cats so far.

They would go on their bikes and race each other until their leg’s shook, they signed up to help at the animal shelter, and agreed to keep it a secret nobody else would know about, although Tina eventually found out and Gavin suspected Hank was not as clueless about it as he pretended to be. Some evenings they’d hang out at Hank’s and Leo would make him listen to weird albums as they sprawled lazily on the living room floor.

“You staying for dinner, kid?” Hank would ask if he found them there when he arrived from work

“Yes!, if I can,” Leo would reply brightening up “can I?”

“Sure you can, but text your dad I don’t want him wondering where the hell you are” Hank would say gruffly, still self-conscious of the easy way in which his manner slipped into a fatherly one “Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes, so get a move on!”

Leo chuckled softly when Hank left the room

“What?” Gavin asked

“Get a move on, is something you say now too” Leo said with a smirk “you got it from him”

“Many people say it” Gavin argued which only made Leo’s smirk grow wider “Shut the fuck up!” Gavin barked but that only made Leo chuckle again

With Leo there the dinners couldn’t be quiet anymore, he was always eager to babble nonsense, fueled by even the slightest trace of attention, so Hank’s conversation starters didn’t die on the spot; sometimes Connor would join them too, and that would give Gavin and Hank enough material to keep something akin to conversation when they were alone.

“Any plans for the weekend?” Hank asked as they washed their dishes, it was always easier to talk if they were busy doing something else

“Want to know if you’ll have the house to yourself for a cringe old people date?”

“Yeah that’s right, need to know if I can make plans or if I have to leave space to go search for you when you don’t turn up like last time”

“That was only because Leo drank too fucking much, I couldn’t fucking ditch him at that stupid party”

“Bit of a wild card that one” Hank said, still focusing on the soapy water, Gavin tensed foreseeing the start of a ‘you need better friends’ conversation

“Listen, kid” Hank continued “Next time, and with that one there will be a few next times, you call me, got it? I’ll pick you two up, he can sleep over”

“We are only going to the lake,” Gavin said, trying to avoid committing to anything, still instinctively suspicious of being offered good things without strings attached “we are taking our bikes”

“Does Manfred know about it?”

Gavin shrugged as he dried a glass

“Hmph” Hank grunted noncommittally “be back by 7, I don’t want you two out there after dark… and no drinking!”

“Yes, sir” Gavin replied, without as much of his usual sarcasm

But there were also the days in which Leo would be angry, and his mood would only get stormier as he ruminated over all the things that annoyed him without being able to let any of them go

“I’m just pissed off like all the fucking time” Leo would say on those days looking trapped

Gavin could see it, he knew the feeling, and he’d listen to Leo rant about his dad not caring a rat’s ass about him.

“He only throws his stupid money at me, he didn’t even come after mom died, he didn’t even come to the school when they expelled me! They ended up sending him an email” Leo said stomping his foot against the floor, looking foolish and powerless. Gavin decided he’d throw Carl Manfred down the stairs one day, accidents happened, they would never be able to prove anything.

“It’s all Markus this and that,” Leo went on “he’s not even his fucking kid, that’s me and he wouldn’t even notice if I disappeared, I’m just going to fuck off!”

“You aren’t serious”

“I fucking am!” Leo shouted “If I stay I’ll lose my fucking mind!”

Unlike Leo, Gavin had ran away before, he knew what the fuck that entailed. The cold, the hunger, the creepy fuckers just waiting for you to take your guard down, it was scary and lonely and hopeless, and Leo was not made for any of that.

“Right,” Gavin said crossing his arms “So where are we going?”

They made a plan, which involved less than honorable things like stealing some of Manfred’s paintings to sell, but they would need the money and the old prick could always paint more.  

The date was set, everything was ready there were only a few more details to talk over,

“We should book a hotel” Gavin said “So we have a place to stay, I have enough in my savings for that”

Leo didn’t reply, he only stared blankly at their notes

“Anyone there?” Gavin said

“Yeah, sorry”

Gavin should have known there was something odd then, Leo was nothing if not absorbed by their future plans.

Later that day when Leo didn’t show up at the shelter Gavin knew for certain something was off; they both would skip school sometimes but never the shelter, Gavin checked his phone, no notifications, an oddity, Leo’s phone was all but fused to his hand. He opened his notebook anxiously turning the pages waiting for a reply when his eyes fell on a new note.

“I’m going away” the dumbass wrote “Sorry for not saying goodbye, but It’s better if I go alone,  I have your phone number but I’m leaving my phone at home just like we planned, it’s so creepy that they can track you with it. I will try to call you when I’m somewhere”

There was a big blotch of black ink where Leo had scratched something out at the end and he hadn’t even signed it, when he’s somewhere, Gavin though setting off for the Amtrak train station. Somewhere!

“by bus is way faster, dummy” Gavin had said, “it’s only like 4 hours max”

“Yeah but by train would be so freaking dope!”

“It’s like 7 fucking hours!”  Gavin said “I’m not going to sit my ass in a stinky train that smells of butts for 7 hours!”

But Leo absolutely would

Gavin bought his ticket, got on the train to Cleveland (delayed), and as he did a ton of bricks were lifted from his chest, there was no need to go any further, there in one of the seats was his fucking idiot.

“What the hell, Leo!” Gavin barked flopping on the seat next to his “What the fuck are you even doing!”

Leo clutched the cardboard tube that most likely contained the stolen paintings, seemingly at a loss for words for once

“Why the fuck are you ditching me?” Gavin spat

“I’m not!” Leo said finding his words “I really wanted you to come with me, but you can’t”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You shouldn’t waste your money on this, and you told me you like it with the Lieutenant,” Leo explained “and weren’t you going to ask him about the police academy thing? You can’t do that if we are wherever!”

“Who gives a shit about that?”

“I do!” Leo said vehemently, “You don’t have it to fuck it all up for a fuck up!”

“Fuck it, wherever you are going, I’m going” Gavin said settling on the seat, “even if you are taking us to fucking trashtown nowhereville on a fucking train out of all fucking things, you need someone there to tell you how much of a delusional deadshit you are”

Leo was quiet for a while, thinking or spacing out, with Leo it was probably the later, he sighed before he spoke “Jeez, fine! let’s go back…I’m done being a delusional deadshit for today”

“You sure?” Gavin said feeling self-conscious relief  

Leo nodded, but ignoring them the train started its march,

“Oh, shit!”

“Phck!”

They sat stunned for a moment looking at each other, then Gavin grinned “Nevermind, we can go to Cleveland and get back, maybe we can even sell those fuck ugly things”

“Like, an adventure!” Leo said perking up, “The Lieutenant will ground you forever though”

“That’s on your dumbass!” Gavin said, pushing Leo away playfully, before taking out his phone to send a text to the old man.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers IV (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: Y/N has trust issues and terrible luck.

Remember to leave feedback!

Words: 2,199

Warnings: Blood, a lot of running, cursing, a lot of gross ig??

Previous chapter // Next chapter

Josh steps inside the store and prepares to put his hand in danger, not without whining and groaning, of course, I can’t blame him, putting your hand down someone’s throat must be disgusting. 

The closest thing I’ve seen to this is that time Alex and I were over at Nathan’s and Alex had to pull a plastic cap out of Nathan’s dog’s mouth. The way his hand smelled that day... ugh, totally would not recommend. We had to rush over to the vet to make sure Patty hadn’t swallowed any more plastic items, it’s like a block away from the mall, so we decided to let Nathan take his dog back home and we stayed here.

-Time for another beautiful flashback, sponsored by the terrible image of Josh searching on a ghoulie’s stomach with his bare hand-

“Don’t ever let me put my hand down a dog’s throat ever again.”

“How often do you think it could happen?”

“Dogs are silly, Y/N, I don’t know,” He shrugs, examining his hand with repulsion.

“If you ask me, I think that was pretty heroic,” I offer.

“Shut up,” He whines.

“For real!”

“You’re only saying that so I don’t feel as gross...”

“I say it cause I think it was a brave move. Patty’s a pitbull, she could’ve eaten your arm,” I giggle.

“Nah, she’s an angel” 

Alex is the angel, but I won’t admit that to his face.

“Will you ever take a compliment without shrugging it off?” I roll my eyes, “I’m trying to say that I admire you, bitch.” Alex laughs at my outburst.

“I only do it so you keep complimenting me, isn’t it working?” He winks at me, and I feel the urgent need to push him towards the passing cars. Or hold his hand. Whatever.

“Sure. Tell you what, let’s go to the mall, I’ll get you icecream and you can look for a bathroom and wash your hand.”

“Yes, please,” He sighs and takes my hand to practically drag me on the direction of the mall. Alright then, I don’t mind at all.

---------------------------------------

Josh got the keys. His hand is covered in something gross and I can’t hide the smirk that’s growing on my face.

“The things we do for love, am I right?” I grin.

“Don’t start, Y/N,” He complains.

“No I mean, fucking respect. Not everyone would do that for their crush.” He shakes his head at my statement, not flattered at all.

“I just wanna find Sam.”

“And I want to get out of here, so let’s go!” I start walking, a new burst of energy going through my veins now that we have the keys.

“I’ll see you around,” He tells Angelica, and I happily wave goodbye while passing.

“Guys!” She says, following us.

“So what’s your plan, then?” Josh looks at me, “You’re leaving too? What about your skates?”

“There’s a store close to my old neighborhood, I’ll get a new pair from there.”

“You can’t wait to leave, huh?”

“Same as you,” I frown, “I’m sure anywhere’s better than with a bunch of weirdos.”

“Hey! Just because you’re not as cool doesn’t mean I’m weird” He replies playfully.

“I don’t think so, mister,” I hold to my backpack tighter, getting ready to go out, “I just need to leave this place, this mall has brought me nothing but trouble...”

---------------------------------------

And I wasn’t talking about Triumph or the Jocks only, I was also thinking about that day with Alex:

“How’s that hand?”

“Still smelling like crap.”

“Too bad. Here, take it. My treat,” I give him the icecream cone I bought moments ago, hoping it’ll make him feel better.

“Jee, thanks, Vinchi.”

I smile at the stupid nickname; it was the invention of a ten-year-old Alex that saw my drawing of a butterfly and thought  I was the next big paintor, “like that guy, ’vinchi”. He meant to say Da Vinci, but the other name was funnier so it’s the one that stuck. You know how you’re supposed to hate silly nicknames? Well, even that was impossible when it came from Alex. I liked him too much. 

I liked everything about him, or slightly related to him. Yet, I managed to keep my distance. Why? Cause you don’t get attached to things you cannot have. Alex was dating our friend Stuart. 

Unrequited love is not something I personally enjoy, so is better to stay away from it. And just like unrequited love, if a bunch of rowdy misfits is running in your direction, you run faster and hide.

---------------------------------------

Angelica has been insisting on staying and forming our own tribe. Fucking crazy, right? You’d have to be out of your mind to try to form a tribe with these people. There’s no way I’m trying that.

“Angelica, maybe next time okay?” I look at her over my shoulder, “seriously you don’t want us on your tribe, we’re very dumb and slow.”

“You know that’s a lie.”

“Still, it’s better this way, you don’t need us.”

“Bye-bye Angelica,” Says Josh while opening the exit door.

You know when things are bound to end in tragedy? You get this feeling that it’s going to be one shit after the other, and you’re right, cause that’s all that’s been happening so why would it change, right? Yeah, well I was so excited about leaving that I forgot this was the case.

The same ghoulie that had run off with Josh’s sword on her back was outside the door, she jumps on him and throws him to the floor, Angelica and I jump back in surprise.

“Get off me now! Shit!” 

“Don’t die!” Angelica runs back to get her molotov bombs (because according to her, fire is the only answer) and I’m left with no weapons to defend us.

“Okay! it’s two against one I can do this!” I try to reach the sword but the ghoulie keeps moving and I don’t wanna hurt Josh by accident, “Hold on, I’m trying to get the sword!”

“Try harder!”

“Shut up, I’m saving your life!” I kick the ghoulie’s hip and she doesn’t budge. Josh seems to be having a hard time and I can’t do much without putting myself in danger as well, the sword is halfway out and is dangerously close to his chest. If I make the wrong move, I’ll kill him.

“Fuck! I need a real weapon, hold on!”

I run like hell until I get to the hardware store and my eyes land on the only thing that I feel capable enough to handle. A sledgehammer. Because judging by my record, I’m pretty good at smashing things. I grab it and run back to where Josh is, lifting the tool at shoulder level.

“Here’s Johnny!” 

I swing it hard and hit the ghoulie’s head with full force, she tries to stand up but Eli appears on the other side of the hall exactly where she landed and pulls the sword from her chest only to put it back, this time in her head. She falls like a puppet on the floor.

“Eli?” Josh seems disoriented, I help him stand up.

“You better be worth it,” He replies, handing him the sword and looking at my hammer with a nod of approval.

We run again until we reach the elevator, we find Wesley there, keeping the door closed.

“I can’t hold it!” He screams.

“Let him in!”

Wesley steps back and the door opens harshly, Triumph stepping in like a nightmare. The guys attack but Triumph easily beats them, I swing my hammer but he traps it mid-air and pulls me towards him. I kick his crotch and he barely groans. It’s not enough.

“Hoyles! Man! This does not need to end up in violence!”

Triumph stops and lets go of me, throwing me into the floor. Eli and Josh both pull me far from him, I grab my hammer tightly.

“Wes!” Josh warns him. Triumph is getting close to the boy and I know that he won’t be able to pull it off alone either, Samurai or not, he’s still a kid.

“AHHHHHHHH!” Crumble jumps from the roof of the elevator and attacks Baron Triumph with her bare hands. He easily pushes her away. Crumble stands up slowly, we’re all expectant, not knowing what the hell to do.

And then Crumble raises her hands and starts speaking in what I’m most certain is nonsense in Spanish, but it does the trick: Triumph backs off until he reaches the elevator and closes the gate. Wesley closes the second gate and supports his back against it.

“What the fuck was that?” Asks Josh.

“I wanted to help you,” whispers Crumble.

“How did you get out of the store?”

“I can turn myself into mist,” She explains excitedly, “and then I float through the cracks. Watch!” Then she proceeds to run straight into the elevator’s door and knocks her lights off.

“Outstanding,” I look over to Angelica, “bet you’re really proud of your Ghoulie witch now.” Angelica just smiles back at me.

So... that happened. Thank god it’s over, now I can finally go. But first, I think I’ll take Josh’s word and go shopping one last time.

---------------------------------------

“Thanks again for the icecream.”

“Anytime, Al,” I smile.

“You ‘going home now?”

“I guess, it doesn’t look like anything interesting is about to happen so...”

“Hey, about what you said...” He scratches the back of his neck, “you really think it was heroic?”

“Patty could’ve died. Of course I do,” I answer with full honesty.

“Thanks... I think you’re very heroic too.”

“What?” I laugh, “Dude, I’ve never done anything out of the ordinary.”

“You call out the jocks on their bullshit even if they annoy you afterwards. When Lily got high and was having a bad trip, it was you who took her to the shower and made her threw it up out of her system,” He puts a hand on my shoulder, applying light pressure to it, “You may not be saving the world, but you take care of your people. That’s cool.”

And maybe it’s the sugar rush, maybe it was the way his words sting on my heart or the way the artificial lights inside the mall made his eyes look so shiny. But my feelings for him went through the roof. Exactly like my common sense.

Whatever it was, all I know is that suddenly we were too close, and suddenly we were kissing outside the icecream shop. It lasted only five seconds though, cause then he tried to cup my face with both hands and the smell of dog’s saliva made me step back in disgust.

“Oh my god, what is that dog eating?”

“I’m sorry!” Alex covers his mouth with both hands and regrets it immediately after, grossed out by the smell, “fuck, I need to put on sanitizer.”

“I have to go,” I mumbled in a hurry, walking towards the exit.

“Wait, Y/N!”

“See you on monday, Alex,” I walk faster, almost crashing against a random boy wearing the ugliest reddish pants on earth, seemingly also running for his life.

Don’t. Just don’t. Whatever you have to say, trust me, I already heard it in my head every night for the past six months. I know it was a shitty thing to do, kiss someone else’s boyfriend. My best friend. Who had been dating my other friend for the past four months.

It doesn’t matter that he kept going. It was wrong. “Y/N, you bitch ass liar, you told us none of you ever made a move!”. Joke’s on you, a kiss is not a move if it doesn’t affect on anything after it happens. A kiss is just a kiss. Mine was a huge mistake for sure, but not a love declaration.

Alex and Stuart kept dating and we never mentioned our incident. Not even after he broke up with Stuart two months before the nuke. Not even when he went with me to look for my sister Katie.

---------------------------------------

So how’s that for a move huh? That’s the reason why I’m leaving. Cause it doesn’t matter if you’ve known them for a day, a semester or ten years. I thought that the people I hung with during Highschool would be my tribe during the apocalypse. That we were inseparable. Turns out we weren’t.

Love is weak compared to personal interests and I refuse to be the only idiot that gets attached. No one is worth that much pain. I’m leaving. Best of wishes to Josh and gang of weirdos but I’m out. I’m backing up. Stepping back. I’m-

“Y/N, come here quick! Stupid Josh cut his finger and now I need to get bandages and duct tape! Make sure he doesn’t faint!”

I’m coming into a halt and drop my backpack and weapon to the floor as I’m rushing over to the restrooms.

“He did WHAT?”

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic​

[faerieorbitars]

casey jones has become Feral and i cant stop thinking abt him

here’s some facx abt him i’ve come up with and also maybe some plot points abt how his debut episode would go

so in casey’s debut episode leo met casey first when leo joined a street wrestling tournament for some cash and he has to fight the ‘little reaper’ who’s gimmick is being very fast and racking up points and then being evasive and avoiding being pinned to run out the clock and win matches but (with some help (idk maybe donnie is there coaching him (he finally got to be hype man,,,))) leo ends up figuring out his pattern and beats him but he beats him TOO good and breaks his arm (casey breaks his bones gag starts here) and after the match he feels bad and tries to give casey the money he won for it while casey is taking off his dope ass grim reaper cosplay with his hockey mask painted to look like a skull and he takes it off and oh my god casey looks?? like That?? that violent little weasel looks like This?,??? and casey at this point is a less open more gruff and distant character so he doesn’t take the money and just Tensely congratulates leo on the win and then skates off while leo has (implied) heart eyes . end of episode

the next time they see casey is everyone all together and little reaper is doinf vigilantism and stealing all their Missions by getting there first and eventually they stop him and leo’s like Oh wait i know this guy!!! and casey’s like ??? neon leon?? you’re really committed to this whole turtle costume thing huh,,, you and your gang. anyways over the course or the episode they run into an actually dangerous mission and they can’t get casey to like, Scoot, so he fights the bad guy who turns out to be a mutant in disguise and casey is genuinely shocked bc he had NO clue. and then he puts the pieces together and realizes that the turtles aren’t in costumes they’re Turtles. Suddenly he thinks they’re very cool!!!! he stops mid fight to work that out and tell them he thinks they’re cool and then he gets body checked by rubble and gets his ribs bruised (casey breaks his bones!) end of episode is casey skating home and giving them his number so they can hang out again soon bc like Hell hes gonna lose touch with super cool mutant turtle ninja teens????

anywho tidbits

he’s gay and trans

he lives alone in a shitty apartment and pays for it under the table, since he’s friendly with the landlord it’s pretty cheap and he does what he can to fix it up when he’s not being a lazy son of a fuck. he also works rly dangerous under the table jobs but they pay well so he actually has a lot of free time

not enough free time to go to school tho lmfaooooo what he look like. it’s fine tho he don’t need no education

he never goes into why exactly he’s living alone but he mentions in an emo ass episode about love and family and friends or whatever that he left home bc he doesn’t care for his family and would rather be alone

end of that emo episode is the turtles and april telling him that they consider casey part of their family and they give him a big hug and he cries like a little bitch but he tells them he loves them bc he Do 😭😭😭

once they gain his trust he’s the most stupid son of a bitch,

hangs out with leo WAYYY too much bc they have a lot in common and also leo keeps trying to impress casey and they end up in trouble for it bc they’re Terrible influences on each other

leo dabs casey whips mikey nae naes

the only time he’s ever seen in-show without skates on is when the turtles show up at his apartment to cause problems and he Just got out of bed so he’s wearing flip flops . once the episode kicks into high gear he puts his skates back on

shot of casey holding leo’s arm and lazy skating while leo does all the work by pulling him

they don’t wanna focus on romance in the show so if you want it to appear more Canon take everything i just said and make it no homo but in my heart leo has a big dumb crush and casey ends up reciprocating after getting to know the dumb asshole and theyre GAY

episode where they play a little street hockey together !!! maybe everybody gets too competitive and at the end it’s idk a ‘whats important is having fun!’ message i guess . also casey breaks his bones

episode where they have to dress casey up as a mutant to sneak him in someplace and he dresses up as a weasel and everyone’s like Yea,

[leo] he really does remind me of a weasel! [donnie] weasels are predatory animals that eat a third or more of their weight every day and attack prey 10 times their size [leo] just like casey!! [raph] yeah that sounds about right!

that’s all for now thanks for reading . don’t forget to like comment and subscribe

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[naruwutoo]

patrochilles high school au

     achilles is the beloved jock that has half the school falling at his feet and patroclus is an outcast who admires him secretly from afar. it's the classic case where patroclus is so deeply in love with achilles and thinks that the school's golden boy would never give him the time of day, but achilles is all too aware of patroclus. he even tried to talk to him once in between classes but patroclus had his headphones in blasting the smiths and walked right passed him.

     patroclus takes the long way home just so he can walk pass the field where achilles has track practice. achilles sees the lanky outcast skating by on the sidewalk and he wills himself to run even faster to impress the boy, but it seems like he doesn’t notice. to achilles, patroclus is the epitome of cool. he wears all black and is always sketching and he has the side of his hair buzzed and a curly mop of hair on top that shouldn’t work but it does. he’s this quiet dude who keeps to himself and has no interest in anyone else and he would never spare achilles a second glance. but achilles continues to run as fast as he can in hopes that patroclus will notice him. of course he does, he always has, and he’s so in awe at how achilles’ hair sways in the wind and how fast his feet move. they both long for each other from afar and it eats both of them up.

    it isn’t until they’re paired up together in their anatomy class for some assignment that they’re forced to talk to each other. of course it’s incredibly awkward at first and they both fumble around with their words. they do their best and try to control their permanently pink stained cheeks and clammy hands, but needless to say they begin to fall in love and their longing reaches a level that is almost unbearable. sometimes when patroclus goes to achilles’ house to work on their project they’ll accidentally brush against each other and its like electricity. patroclus feels like his skin ignites and tingles all over and achilles fair skin turns from a light rosy pink to a flaming red. they’re both so clumsy and shy yet so obvious with their love that it annoys the people around them to no end.

      after the project achilles invites patroclus over to watch a movie and patroclus is a bit in shock because he was sure achilles was only nice to him because they were partnered up but maybe, just maybe, achilles wanted him around. patroclus takes a bunch of his favorite snacks and achilles’ smile is as blinding as the sun when he sees all the junk food in his bag. it becomes a reoccurring thing for them--hanging out. they become comfortable around one another, a tinge of awkwardness of their youthful crush still remains of course, but they are far less tense. their accidental brushes begin to linger and they allow themselves to enjoy them, but even then they feel hopeless and unrequited.

      the end of the year is approaching and all the upperclassmen are murmuring about prom; whether it be about promposals or who’s going with who. achilles only listens to locker room gossip and when he’s finished showering and changing he goes to meet up with patroclus who’s siting on his skateboard outside, waiting patiently for him. he brings it up randomly while he lays on patroclus’ bed and the dark haired boy looks up at him from his seat on the carpeted floor. “who would ever want to go with me?” achilles wants to scream about how much he wants to go with him and get those stupidly expensive boutonnières, take stupid prom picture together, laugh under those stupid florescent lights as they hold dance, and he wants to slow dance with stupid patroclus to a cheesy slow song. “prom is also just a ploy to get us to spend money and where our peers go to dry hump each other in public.” achilles chokes on his drink.

     achilles can’t stop thinking about prom. he wants to go, but only if patroclus goes with him. so he does the only logical thing and decides to ask him. he makes the mistake of telling odessyus and he flips. “how are you going to ask him?” he says, eyes wild and a seriousness that is far too intense. “i don’t know? i was planning on just asking him this afternoon when he comes over to play overwatch?” odessyus makes a face at his answer. “bro what the hell? you have to do something big and surprise him! do you think this a fucking game?” achilles gets lectured for the remaining of warm-up about the importance of prom culture.

    patroclus is surrounded by prom posters and spontaneous promposals in the middle of lecture and honestly he’s sick of it. he hates seeing couples acting a fool in the middle of the hallways as he’s trying to get to class but he also incredibly jealous. he hates that he does but he does. he thinks prom is dumb, a stupid american tradition, and a waste of money, but he thinks of achilles and how fun it would be to go together and gets sad. every time achilles brings it up he plays it off as if he doesn’t care but only to mask how much he does. it only gets worse when he hears a couple of girls in his literature class gossiping about achilles promposing to someone this afternoon. he almost decides to ditch his class and go home but figures that the day is almost over so he might as well stay.

     patroclus begins to walk home and texts achilles to see if he wants to hang out after school but the blond says he’s busy and that kind of confirms that he’s promposing today. patroclus feels like shit. his heart hurts and his teen angst is at an all time high. but he hangs on to a shred of hope and decides to skate passed the football field in hope to see achilles’ flowing long hair trailing behind him as his feet pick up the dirt underneath them. but he doesn’t. instead he sees achilles standing by the fence, holding a huge sign in his direction and as he skates closer he can hear the smiths there is a light that never goes out playing from a speaker. the sign is black with  white letters and reads, the morrissey you the marr i want to go to prom with you. patroclus is so shocked and so happy that he wants to cry. before he knows it he’s climbing over the fence and tackling achilles onto the grass, giggles falling from their lips and each laugh echos in the air around them. achilles stares up at him with his green eyes and breathless and patroclus can’t help himself and kisses him. they melt in to each other, the cool blades of grass tickling their skin and with achilles’ hair everywhere. when they pull apart patroclus can’t help the stupid smile on his face.

“was that a yes?”

“achilles i would honestly follow you to the end of the world if you asked me to.”

“so melodramatic,” he says shyly.

they kiss until they’re dizzy; patroclus looks stunning with the pink skies behind him and achilles who lays under him looks like a god at sunset.

[jq37]

Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter. 

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell. 

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately. 

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild. 

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons. 

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose. 

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was. 

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person. 

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world. 

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later. 

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting. 

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting. 

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask. 

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant. 

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!

[lillaxtrigger]

Young hope: Chapter 15

The clear night sky befalls upon a brightly lit manor. Its shine reflecting off the dozens of vehicles littered about its massive circular driveway. One more car joins their ranks, its simplistic design contrasting between the two luxurious automobiles it parks between. Out from its steel shell arose the blue boy and his family, dressed to partake in the Gala. “Wow. It’s so gorgeous. You really got lucky, Tore. Scoring the daughter of an eccentric trillionaire?” the mother compliments. “Eh, seems like kind of a bitch to me. Honestly think you could do better.” Mally remarks. “By the way, how did you and that Renee girl meet in the first place?”. Both ladies turn to Tore, the blue boy busy adjusting his tuxedo collar to keep from choking him. “Ah...Ya...Ya know…At-At...At school.” he boy tries to feign while loosening his collar. “Getting enough oxygen there?” Mally worries. “Yeah...Nnn, Fine…”. He finally adjusts his collar to a more comfortable hold, wondering to himself; “Why did Cayenne makes this thing so tight?’.

“Tore, come in. Have you arrived at the manor yet?” Kingsley’s voice rings through a hidden earpiece. Pressing down upon the communicator, he responds with: “Yep. Right when the fires are hot, too.”. “Okay, now when you get in. You know what to do, right?”. “Pfft, course. I do the thing with the- the other thing, then I...I walk around for a bit. Hoard the food. Dumm… Sneak out through the back and fly in the night sky like a sharply dressed glowing bandit.”. “You forgot it, didn’t you?” Cayenne guesses through the earpiece.”. “Nooo...That-that is it, right?”. “Not even close, you dumbass.” “Alright, listen. I’ll go through it, one more time. But you gotta do your best to remember while you’re inside.” Kingsley offers. “Gotcha.”

“Uh, Tore?” he hears his sister wonder. Ahead, he finds her and their mom gazing awkwardly towards the boy. “Who are you talk to?” “Oh, um, uh. J-just practicing my lines when I run into Renee’s dad. Gotta keep up good impression, he he...” Both ladies shrug the answer off and start to head inside. Tore letting out a relieved sigh as he follows close.

Not to long ago, the same blue boy stood in front of a mirror, being fitted for his snazzy navy blue tux. Cayenne adjusts parts of his suit so that it may properly fit, Tore complaining: “Agh. The sleeves are too stiff, the collar is so itchy, the waist is chaffing me… This whole monkey suit is unbearable! How do people stomach wearing these things!?” “Just suck it up, ya damn baby.” Cayenne retort. His discomfort causes him to glace towards Kingsley and ask: “Why do I have go to this dumb ball again, ya know aside from me...Nn, screwing up and stuff?” “Because, I have reasons to suspect that Renee might be going through some… Umm, parental problems, lets call them. And need you to be our eyes on the inside to catch the act.” “Okay, but why at this Gala thing?” “See, Rich parents are always super strict when it comes to their kids during big events like this. Heck, when I was young, my mom wouldn’t let me out of the bathroom until every detail was perfect. Every. Detail. One of Renee’s parents may snap at her in private and need you to catch whoever it is in the act.” “Rrr, but I don’t wanna go to some fancy mansion party. They’re not the fun kinda parties with the overly frosted cookie cakes with demeaning swear words and clearly drunken clowns juggling sticks of lit dynamite.” “What...kind of party are you suggesting?” “My 12th birthday. Now that was a blast.” “Well, maybe you should think of that next time you decide to crash into someones personal life.” Cayenne suggest. “But didn’t you try and do the same thi-” Before he could finish, Cayenne tightens Tore’s bow tie, choking the boy.

After loosening his collar, he than wonders aloud to Kingsley. “I don’t get it. If you think something bad’s happening to her. Why not just pull her out, asap?” “I’d love to, but you might’ve figured out by now that the Buxaplenty’s are a very rich family. They can by off lawyers and judges to free them from most kind of scrutiny, which is why we need to catch them on video. Because if there’s one thing they can’t buy off, its hard evidence. The boy genius then pulls out a floral pin, telling his agent: “This pin will give us video feed of the inside. Once we record it, we can work on getting Renee out of there. This situation will require you to have the upmost diligence if we wanna pull this off. Got it?”. “Diligence?...Diligence…That some kind of pickle?”. Frustrated, Kingsley lets out a sigh, deciding instead to rephrase with: “Just- just sneak around and try not to get caught.”. “Wait a minute...You mean like a secret agent?” Tore gleefully questions. Tore than revels in the prospect of being an undercover agent. Sneaking around facilities, gathering intel, ton and tons of nifty gadgets, famous tropes reminiscent of the spy film genre. An enriching fantasy that rapidly excites the blue boy, making him loudly giddy with uncontrollable enthusiasm. “Well, more of a mundane spy than and agent really, but-” Kingsley tries to deflate, but the blue boy was already far too thrilled as he readies to scream out. “I’m gonna be like James Bond!”. He flies out from the changing room in an eager rush, the sound of his cheering echoing in the proceeding halls. “We are so fucked.” Cayenne remarks. “I’m...Well...he might...Pull a surprise out of his pocket, um...who knows?”. He than finds the girl gazing at him with an unconvinced glare, making Kingsley giving out a nervous laugh before glaring back towards the corridor.

Entering the estate, the family is taken aback by the luxurious décor strewn about the entry hall. The golden chandler that suspends atop the ceiling, its own lights sparkling off its polished finish. The velvet red carpeting laid about the polished marble floor beneath their feet. The fancy platters sporting various miniature hors d’oeuvres ready to be consumed. The large hand painted murals that depicted their aristocratic hosts hung about the walls. All of it giving a such a sense of authentic elegance amongst the countless guests within. “Whoa…talk about pulling all the stops.” Mally comments right after blowing out an impressed whistle. The mother glances over towards the left staircase, noticing a middle aged woman beside the railing and exclaiming with a gasp: “Is that roller blading stunt girl Molly wheelz?”. Mally looks towards the opposite end of the hall, spotting a red headed lady, gushing: “Oh my god! It’s the skating champ, Red thunder!”. Both ladies waltz towards their respective ideals, leaving their blue boy to his own devices.

With a thickly posh english accent, Tore relays to his comrades: “This is agent bluebird reporting. I have successfully infiltrated the facility and ready to proceed with gathering intelligence. Do you copy, orange dingaling?”. “You don’t have use an accent, ya know? You’re not exactly undercover. Also, orange dingaling?” As he hears Cayenne mocking laughter in the background of the feed, he turns is attention over towards the platter table. “Just...walk around and see if you can tail either of Renee’s parents.” Kingsley commands. “Affirmative, proceeding to begin mission.”

The guests pluck from the gallery of hor d’oeuvres as they pass through. Tore lifts his head from under the table, gazing into the delicious array of savory snacks. He picks one from the delicate silver platter in the middle of the table, licking the tiny entree and coming to the obvious conclusion: “Detecting no signs of poison.”. With that theory confirmed, the blue boy proceeds to grasp the entire tray and loudly scarf down the rest of the hor d’oeuvres down his gullet. After swallowing the array of bite sizes snacks, he lowers the silver platter, exhaling a hearty sigh. He then notices some of the surrounding guests staring at him astonished and some with outright disturbed gazes painted across their faces. With a nervously guilty giggle, he lowers himself back under the table. Looking out from under the cloth covered table, he blots away when nobody is looking.

In his escape, he reflects to himself with the inner thoughts of: “That was kinda close. Probably best if I keep a low profile. Don’t wanna blow this whole thing by running into someone important.” As if the whims of fate read his mind like a best selling novel, Tore runs into a wayward blonde dressed in sea foam green. Shaking the crash off, he finds his faux mistress sat upon the velvet carpeting. “Oh man, so sorry!” he apologizes. Rising from the floor, he helps Renee up, asking the daughter of the host: “You okay?”. “Yeah. I’m- I’m fine. How are you enjoying the gala?”. “Oh um. It’s uh...It’s nice. Really fancy, very shiny. Mostly um...nnnnice... Oh who am I kidding. I’ve been here less then 10 minutes and I’m already bored out of my skull.” “Ugh. Tell me about it. Every year, my dad throws one of these stupidly massive balls in hopes of gathering more investors for the family. To be honest, I’d rather stay in bed and snuggle up with a good book.” “I hear ya. I’d rather go fly out and train somewhere than stand around these snooty stiff. Like that guy over there.”. Looking to where the blue boy was pointing towards, Renee’s fixates her gaze upon an elderly gentleman engaging in conversation with a fellow aristocrat. “Just look at him. Stuffy, looks full of himself, and probably paid to have the definition of fun surgically removed from his crusty ass brains. He’s- He’s like- He’s like “Excuse me fine gentleman, would any of you like to consult about the how many golden statues I possess to compensate for the fact that I have lost control of my bladder.” Tore jests with in mocking elderly tone. Some of the guests could hear the couple quietly giggling to themselves. The boy then spots another aristocrats in his sight, pointing over and telling Renee to: “Oh oh, over there! Look!”. Glancing in said direction, she spots a rather stuffy looking couple. “Bet you can’t do it.” “No. No. I-I shouldn’t.” “Come on. You know you wanna.” “Hmm...Oh I know. “I say honey. There is a rather awful smell coming from you’re twisted beard. By any chance have you been using gorilla snot as a hair gel?” “Why yes I have dear. And I dare say, you look rather horrid in your obviously fake eyelashes.” There giggling begins to grow louder, them trying their best not to burst out in laughter. Renee spots another potential vctim of their mockery and points over, asking: “Oh god. Look over there.”. She has her faux boyfriend look towards a rather overweight individual, his suit obviously to small to fit with the buttons struggling to keep it together. “Ooh ho ho wow. Okay, I got a good one. Listen to this.” Clearing his throat, the boy then lets out high pitched mocking tone: “Even everyone. Don’t mind me. I’m just trying to keep my buttons from flying off past Jupiter.” Both of them could barely contain their glee, threatening to burst out in laughing fits. The fat bloke who they mocked captures their attention, saying in the exact tone Tore had given him: “Well, I never. My tone is never that high and my suit is rather durable, thank you.” As the overweight bastard takes his leaves, Tore and Renee stare into one another before they could contain their laughter no more. The guest around them take note of the couples laughter, looking rather embarrassed just being near them. Their chortling dying down, Renee lets out a sigh, desiring: “Yeah...Honestly I just want this night to be over.” “Me too. But, luckily I got something to keep me from blasting through the roof, screaming bloody murder.” “What is it?”. “Ya see, there’s this plan that-” “Don’t tell her the plan, you dumbass!” Cayenne screams through the earpiece. “Ow! Why?” “Tore. We still don’t know what’s exactly up with Renee and her parents. And if you tell her, she might be unwillingly coaxed into spilling the beans.” Kingsley finishes in a much calmer tone. The boy complies, but not without a hint of reluctance. “Mm...Okay.”. “Who are you talking to?” he hears Renee question. Looking back, he finds the blonde staring at him with a worried gaze. “Uhh...”. Gotta think of an excuse fast. “My...My hand.”. Perfect. “You’re hand?”. “Yes. It has a lot to say. Do you want to hear?” he offers, presenting his palm. “Uh...No thanks.”

An uncomfortable pause passes between the two, both internally pleading for anything to break it. Come on, something happening already, please! A thought that loom in the blue boys head as he works up a nervous sweat “Hello children.” he hears a feminine voice greet. Oh thank god. Looking aside, they witness a well dressed blonde woman approach. Renee’s mom? “How are you two enjoy the gala?”. “Uh...It’s great.” the blue boy mentions. “Yeah, parties great mom.” Renee respond. “Great, glad to see you kids having a fun time. But, you two should probably behave yourselves. Everyone is watching you two.”. The daughter quickly withdraws her joyful demeanor, complying with: “O-Oh. Right...”. “I’d like you to come with me dear. There are some people I’d like to introduce you to.”. “Of course.”. Before walking off with her mother, she turns towards her faux boyfriend, ending with: “See you later.” Seeing the happiness quickly drain from Renee leads Tore to think: “Hmm...That was odd. Did Kingsley say which parent was causing her trouble? ...Meh, I’ll just spy on her and see what happens.”.

Watching as the blue boys exploits play out, Kingsley and Cayenne eye the monitor showing the feed within his lab. “So, which one do you think it might be?” she asks him. “Pardon?” “The abusive piece of shit. Which one is it?” “Oh, uh...To be honest, I’m not really certain. For all we know, it could be the both of them. We’re basically going in blind as bats.” “Oh...Five bucks says its the dad.” Another moment of awkward pause passes, thankfully not as painfully long as Cayenne swiftly adds the follow up question: “By the way. How’d you manage to convince your folks to let you do all this?”. “I...I fed them the excuse that I needed to work on a school project and needed peace and quiet to focus.” Cayenne keeps a chuckle from escaping her lungs and questions: “You...feeding them a lie? Yeah, right. Doubt you of all people can lie. Come on, what did you actually do?” Kingsley fails to give her a response, only continuing to stare into the video feed with a worried glare. “Oh shit. You’re actually serious, aren’t you?”. Letting out a weary sigh, he answers: “Cayenne, it hurts that I have to lie to them just to pull all this off. I’m...scared, that this whole family grudge thing would make them force me to never speak to her again. And I can’t risk that. Especially now when Renee might be in danger.”. “Damn...You must really like her, don’t you?”. “To be honest, I’m praying that this whole parental...abuse thing to just be my own delusional paranoia. For one of the few times in my life. I’m hoping that I’m wrong.”

Atop the manor staircase, Tore slid across the 2nd floor balcony overhanging the hall like a crawling worm. He inches towards the railing and looks through the bars, scanning across the 1st floor among the countless guests. The boy spots his fake girlfriend alongside her mother, relaying with a couple of aristocratic gentleman. “They probably wouldn’t do it out the open. Could cause a scene. What to do?” he wonders aloud. Behind him, some of the passing guest could help not but stare at Tore, wondering why the boy was laying upon the velvet carpeting upon his stomach. “Might be best to tail them and wait for when they’re alone to catch em in the act. Yeah, that sounds like the perfect plan.”. Spotting both ladies walking off, he bounces up from the carpet and declares. “Uh oh, looks like they’re on the move. Better get going myself.”. The blue boy then vaults over the golden railing and drops down to the second floor. He spooks some of the guests upon landing on the marble surface, but ignores their shock and continues on with his noble efforts to stalk the hosts daughter.

Tailing the mother daughter duo through the home, he hides behind behind various furniture as they walk through the abode. He literally jumps behind one of the chairs to take cover, alluding at the very least Renee’s and her moms gaze. Seems like they didn’t notice him.

The boy then dives down under another table, looking under the cloth to find the pair still unaware of his near presence. So far so good. Ready to move, he hits his head on the table in his haste, rubbing his top whilst trying not to audibly scream. Tore than crawls out from under the table and dashes away towards his pursuit.

From behind something, Tore eyes his targets as they walk away. Looks like they haven’t noticed him just yet. This spy stuff is pretty easy, actually. Thought it might be more exciting than this. Just then, he feels the thing he was hiding behind begin to move, finding that it was in fact a bulky looking individual, who turned towards the boy with an upset looks. Tore nervously laughs as he backs away from the gentleman. Looking around, he can’t spot Renee our her mom anywhere in site. Shit. Did he lose them?

He hastily pushes himself through the crowd to try and catch up to the Renee and her mom, but fails to find either. Where did they go? Can’t really fly. That would throw stealth out the window entirely. Perhaps he needed another moment atop the stairs to find where they were departing towards. But before he can consider going back up, he spots Renee’s mother amongst the crowd, however with Renee herself nowhere near. Figuring that he might have lost his false beloved, he might as well tail her mom to see if he can pick up any context clues or for the chance she might meet up with her daughter once more. Who knows, really.

Pursuing the mother, he finds her walking beside a group of an aristocratic guests, chatting to one another about um… I don’t know. Something boring or money, stuff like that, who cares. All that matters now is tailing the misses without getting caught.

Going up a set of stairs, the group doesn’t spot their spy, hanging from the side of the case by one of the steps. As they pass through, he can’t help but hear in their conversation, which of course to him goes in one ear and out the other. Ugh, these people are so boring. Why can’t any of these guy talk about something fun for once? Like cartoons, ice creams, video games, an exploding clown, or the hordes of hell on mars, something dammit! Stop being a bunch of boring douche bags! Thoughts that cloud his mind as he’s forced to listen, failing to catch one of them unwittingly stamping on his fingers. He covers his mouth with his hand, to keep his screams of pain from escaping. Soon, he plummet down and hits the ground with a loud thud, catching the groups attention. They look down to what might have made such a crash, only to find nothing of the sorts. Shrugging off the thud, they continue up. Tore hiding behind the descending hall, rubbing his stamped on fingers.

Passing by a decorative cabinet full of priceless glass figures of marine life, they fail to notice the blue boy eyeing them from the atop the cabinet. Getting down from the cabinet, he is about to head out, when something within the cabinet catches his attention. It was tiny glass dolphin figurine irradiating rainbow colors. Oh my god, its so cute. No! Now is not the time to be admiring marine shaped crafts of glass workmanship! There’s a mission to be had. Breaking his gaze away from the crystal mammal, he continues to his goal of pursue the Buxaplenty wife.

Catching up, he finds the group of snobs to have seemingly broken off from the misses, Renee’s mother absent from their group. He looks about to in an effort to try and find her once more. Thankfully, he manages to spot her nearby. It looks like she’s talking to somebody. Please let it not be anymore stiff. Approaching from behind the corridor, he can hear the mother in the middle of a conversation with one of her guests. “Oh its no problem really. I’m happy you got to meet one of your idles.”. “It was really fun to get to know her. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was a kid.” the other guest mentions. He swears the person she’s talking with sounds incredibly familiar. Peeking out, he finds that Renee’s mom is in fact talking to his own. “Really, we invite tons of stars here every year. If our kids are still dating by around next year, we can arrange for some others you want.” “Just like that? You guys must live like kings. And you have such a charming daughter to boot.” “Oh yes. We’re quite proud of our little Renee. She’s been keep up with her grades constantly since we transferred her to public school to keep ahead of the curb.”. “She works so hard. I wish I could give her more time to do the things she loves.”. “Oh yeah. My kids are really something special too. Helping a lot of people and saving plenty more. They’ve grown to be so strong and courageous. It’s too bad Roy couldn’t make it here. Really I couldn’t asks for anything more out of my family...Except maybe for my husband to visit more. He’s never really around as much as he should be.” “Ugh. I wish my husband wasn’t around as much.” “Why’s that?” “Oh, its- its nothing.” “Nu-uh. There’s obviously something.” “No really. There isn’t. Honest.” “Come on. Are kids are dating, we might as well get into the juicy bits. So spill it.” With a disgruntled sigh, Renee’s mother opens with: “My husband is...very stressful to deal with. He’s always been so full of himself. Like I think he genuinely cares more about his wealth and family statue over his own family. Its gotten so bad, that...I...started seeing another man behind his back...” Near speechless, the blue haired mom breaks through, mentioning: “Really?...I...If it’s gotten that bad, than why don’t you divorce him?” “You’re kidding me? You want me to divorce from one of the richest business tycoons on the planet? Heh heh heh...Yeah, right. He’d destroy me in a legal case and take everything I have. Even poor Renee. I can’t bear to put her through any more then what she’s been through.”

Hearing all this, Tore retreats out from the corridor and away from the mothers. “Guess I had Renee’s mom pegged all wrong. She’s actually kinda nice. But if its not her, then that just leaves out...Oh no...” He hurries through the hall, hoping to quickly discover Renee once more.

And sure enough, he finds her, unfortunately with her father. Seeing both of them head down towards a less than crowded hall, he figures that this might be the moment he’s been waiting for. Glancing behind the corridor, he prepares himself with his fake accent: “Time for Agent Bluebird to do what he does best. Check to see if everything is in working order. Floral pin camera, check. Communications, check. Determination...Check-a-roony. Then I’m all set. It’s time to activate stealth mode.”

Back in the lab, Kingsley and Cayenne having listened to the conversation. “Well, guess the moms all clean, making the only abusive piece of shit to be...” Cayenne guesses. “Her dad. I should have known it was him. He can’t be pulling Renee away from the party without a reason. This might be it. I don’t think I can watch.” “Kingsley.” “You’re right. You’re right. Need to pull myself together. Okay, with the floral pin in check, it should be ready to record right about...” the boy relays typing away at his computer. With one more press of the button, a red circle appears on the upper left of the video feed. “Now.” “Damning evidence, here we come.” Just then, they hear the lab door open. Turning about, they see Kingsley’s mom about to walk down. “Hi pumpkin.” she cheerfully greets. Kingsley swiftly turns off the monitor and speaker, both he and Cayenne scramble through the lab in a panic.

When his mom comes down, she finds her son tinkering underneath a piece of machinery, Cayenne keeping up the heavy metal up so he can work. “Oh hi, Cayenne. Didn’t know you were down here.”. “Hey, Ms. S. Just helping Kingsley with his project.” she responds. “That’s so sweet. Um, sorry for the little intrusion, Kingsley. I just need to get something your dad left in here. I promise I’ll be really quick.”. “Aight mom.”. Under the large piece of construction, Kingsley pretends to be busy, the casting shadow hiding his nervous sweat quite well. “The fuck do we do now?” Cayenne whispers, trying to keep the mother from hearing. “Don’t worry. As long as the computer isn’t shut off, it should still be recording the footage. As long as Tore doesn’t screw things up on his end, we should be fine.”

In the lonely hallway, Renee and her father walk along through the well decorated corridors. The fixtures above shining upon the nervous sweat that was drip down her head. They however, do not notice their blue sneaking pursuer, who was quietly singing to himself the theme of mission impossible. Swiftly, he sneaks about the halls, hiding behind the fancy décor laid strewn about the hallway.

Seeing them turn the corner, he follows ahead, but bumps into a wayward stand with a priceless vase atop that was about to fall over. The boy tries to catch the vase to keep it from shattering upon marble floor, juggling it as he tries to keep a grip on the well polished piece of expensive pottery. Finding his grip, he quickly places the vase onto the pedestal and backs away from the worthwhile décor. Taking his leave, he does not notice the pottery falling to the ground with a shatter.

From around the corner, he notices one of the doors open quiet a crack. Approaching the door, he could hear the sound of scolding coming from the other side. Peeking within, Tore finds Renee father fuming at his daughter, Renee herself looking like she’s on the verge of tears. “The way you acted in front of the aristocrats was utterly appalling. Mocking our guests in front of everyone, such an embarrassment.” the father barked. “I-I’m sorry. I promise I won’t act that way again. Please, just calm down, I-”. Before she could finish apologizing, the father smack his daughter across the face, Tore shocked by the sudden attack. As Renee rubs the red spot the strike had left behind, she hears her father continue with: “I thought I taught you better than to act out in public. Are you trying to soil our families reputation?”. Angered by his response right after his assault, she barks back, questioning: “Is that all you care about anymore? Your precious family reputation instead of your actual family?”. Hearing his daughter talk back to him makes the raging father strike his daughter once more, enough to make the girl almost well up in tears. The site makes the blue boy tighten his grip upon the elegant wooden doorway, enough to quietly crack the engraved wood. “Where did you get the spine to talk back to me like that? You been drifting towards the realm of disrespect ever since you’ve been transferred to public school. You are going to straighten up this pitiful excuse for an act and apologize to for your rude behavior. Do you understand me?”. “No...”. “What? Young lady. I demand your respect right this instant!” the enraged father screams. “Why should I respect someone who demands for it? Someone who strikes his own daughter to force her to?”. That statement was the final straw. The fathers tighten his fists in a rage in preparation for one more strike. He readies to strike her with all he’s got, aiming his swing straight down towards Renee. It’s at this moment that Tore has run out of patients, refusing to watch this horror show of parental abuse no more. He burst through the door, dashing straight towards the abusive piece of shit. The father turns around wondering who dares interrupt him. Just when he sees Tore right in front of him, he’s met with a face full of the boys hard fist. The powerful swing was strong enough to send Renee’s father flying into the wall. The entire bedroom shook upon the fathers grizzly impact, lodging him in the wooden wall. Before Renee could process what transpired, Tore tosses her on his back and bolts away. A moment after their escape, the father opens his one bloodshot eye, a growling rage escaping from his lungs.

As they rush through the eloquent halls, Tore presses his finger upon his earpiece, begging: “Come on, someone pick up. Anyone?”. “Wait, were you talking into an earpiece earlier? Who are you even trying to even get a hold of?” the blonde demands him to answer. Hearing no one on the other line, he responds to her with: “Grr. No time to explain. Got find a way out fast. Where’s the nearest window?”. “Its around the corner, but what are you-”. Before Renee could ask a follow up question, Tore quickly turns the sharp corner.

She finds them heading towards a closed window leading out into the night sky. Concerned how her ride isn’t exactly slowing to a halt, she worries aloud: “Slow down, we’re gonna crash right through!”. Right when they were about crash through, the blue boy blast a hole in the wall. The dozens of guests in the backyard of the manor glanced towards the nearby explosion, including Mally and her mom. They watch as Tore leaps out from the smoke with his supposed girlfriend and takes off into the night sky.

Mally and their mom looked at one another and knew exactly what they needed to next. They need to make their escape right this second, before somebody pipes up. But before they could even move an inch, everyone hears someone screaming from inside the manor. The smoke clearing, everyone behold there eyes upon the host of the gala, his face red from not only the attack, but from the fuming rage irradiating form his being. Like this asshole looked like a messed up red beat, he was so fucking angry. Mr. Buxaplenty takes in as much breath as he possibly can and roars out: “That blue bastard flew off with my DAUGHTEEEEEEEER!!!!!”. His roar echoes passed the manor, blowing the leftover smoke surrounding him away. The mans breath returning, roughly turning into a low key growl as he shifts his gaze over towards the two ladies. Once he regains the strength to scream once more, he thrust his accusing finger towards them and shouts at the top of his lungs: “Those two….GET THEEEEEEM!!!!”. Dozens of well suited guards begin to pour out into the backyard and make their charge towards Mally and her mother. The guards on the approach, Mally herself pulls out the grapplyo that Hank had lent her to test. Guess now is a good time as any. She tosses the gadget towards one of the approaching security, slugging one of them right in the face. The yo yo returning, she finds not a single stretch on the wheel. Quite the durable piece of work.

Mally then throws her grapplyo towards another guard, the gadget entrapping the watchmen in her grip. The pixie dressed skater slams the patrolman towards his fellow co workers, all the well suited guards being thrashed down like a hit and run massacre, only the car being one another. Retracting the yo yo, she wonders how strong the gadgets string actually is. Hank, don’t fail now.

Looking towards the fountain, she soon is about to test that theory when she grabs her moms arm and starts to rush towards the decorative water spire. Mally throws her yo yo onto the fountain, and like Hank said, stuck to the drizzling spire like radical sticky tape. She than tugs hard upon the grapplyo’s end, flinging them around the fountain and past the security team. Landing upon the ground, they head down the side of the manor with the patrol on their tail.

In front of the manor, they try to look for their car, looking among the dozens of fancy automobiles. “Do you remember where we parked?” the mom wonders. “Not a clue.”. “Over hear!” a wayward voice calls out. From behind one of the decorative bushes on the side of the front yard, they see a hand waving over to them. With security closing in, they don’t have much choice but to run for the stranger.

Jumping behind the foliage, the security team spreading out to search for them. Behind the bush, they are greeted with the misses of the manor. “Mrs. Buxaplently? What are you-”. “Shh.” she hushes. After looking over the bush, she feels around the ground until grasping at a hidden noose under the grass. Pulling upon the rope, she lifts up the lid to a hidden passage way. “Get going.”. As the both of them climb down, the blue haired mother stops to asks the Mrs. Buxaplenty: “What about you?”. “I wish I could, but I can’t. Who knows what he might try if I run off too. Just get going. Hurry.”. Climbing down the tunnel, their savior closes the passage lid.

Kingsley mother digs around an assortment of gadgets in her search, Kingsley himself still pretending to work on his supposed project. The boy genius begins to get anxious, the thoughts of what he might be missing start swelling in his head. Cayenne hears him quietly groan to himself, whispering to him: “Dude, chill the fuck out. She might hear you.”. “I know. I’m just getting kinda nervous. Our agent is out there blind with no directions at all. Who knows what he might do without us.”. “Just relax, sure she won’t be in here for much longer.”. “But its nearly been 10 minutes. And who knows how much longer my mom might be in here.”. “Found it!” they hear her call out. The mom pulls from the pile a pronged fork like gadget. “Sorry for bothering you so much, sweetie. I’ll leave the two of you alone now.”.

As soon as the mom shuts the door behind her, the two of them rush towards the computer. Turning on the monitor, they see the feed showing them a birds eye view of the city. “What is...What’s happening? Why is he leaving the party?” Kingsley wonders. “Oh, what the hell did that dumbass do now?” Cayenne curses. Turning the microphone on, they ready to speak into the microphone once more.

Up in the starless sky, Tore flies through the city air with Renee upon his back like a flying chauffeur, healing the wounds her father inflicted. “You okay?” he asks her. “I think I am.”. The blue boy starts to hear is friend through his earpiece once more, Kingsley relaying with: “Tore, come in. Tore, do you respond?”. “Kingsley? Finally. Why’d you black out on me, man?”. “Wait, Kingsley? Was that who you were talk to earlier?” Renee sternly questions. “Is that Renee? Why are the both of you flying away from the party?”. A nervous giggle escaping his mouth, he begins to admit with: “So, I might have took the plan in a slight turn, uh...”. “What did you do?”. “Nothing much...Just...punched Renee’s dad into a wall is all.”. “What!” Kingsley exclaims. “Holy shit.” Cayenne laughs. “And I might have snatch his daughter away in my panic.” Tore continues. “Oh my god.” Kingsley groans. “Fucking hell.” Cayenne chortles. “Ahem!” the blue boy hears his passengers cough. Looking over, he finds Renee’s patients quickly draining, him only giving her a nervous laugh in response as he turns back. “Point being...We might need a place to hide...Like ASAP.”. “Uh...You know what, maybe you should just come back to the manor. Just...give me a moment to prepare.” Kingsley tells him. “Prepare for what?”.

“Kingsley Spicer! I cannot believe what I have just heard you say!”. In the lab, Kingsley was confronting bout of his parents, having just told them about his affairs with the Buxaplenty’s daughter. Obviously, they are very pissed, Kingsley drowning in a cold sweat facing their judgmental glares. Cayenne stands to the side, watching the entire shit show before her unfold. “How long have you been going out with the daughter of our bitter rivals behind our back?” she fumes. “Well...It’s...b-been about several months now. But I wouldn’t have to lie if I didn’t really like her.” their son tries to quell. “Buddy. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?” his father sternly questions. Too nervous to respond, the only sound he could muster was a faint groan. “This is unbelievable. I didn’t even think you could lie to us like this. Just what other stuff are you keeping from us?” the mother wonders. “Nnn...we’re...not actually working on a school project.”. After a disappointing sigh, his dad asks the follow up question: “Then what have you been doing down here all night?”. Although he’s quite reluctant to show them, he’s got no other avenue to take.

On the monitor, they review the footage that Tore had acquired, watching Renee’s father not only scold, but strike his own daughter. The parents are left mortified, reeling back with every strike. Kingsley can’t help but clench his fist, the site of seeing his beloved being hurt like this. It truly awakened a deep feeling in his heart. Upon seeing their agent strike her father towards the wall, Cayenne whistles and remarks: “Damn. That had to hurt.”. With all that seen, Kingsley turns off the monitor and turns to his parents. “Now you see why I had to set all this up? I didn’t want to lie to you guys, honest. But the thought of the girl I love going through all of this. I...I just couldn’t take it! I had to do something, anything!”. Both of his parents hear their boy begin to whimper, the tears swelling from his eyes. “I’m so sorry about lying to you both, I-” the boy cries, tightly shutting his eyes in remorse. “Kingsley, stop, please.” his mom begs. The boy opens his eyes, staring at his parents as he hears his dad follow with: “You don’t have to apologize to us. We ain’t not mad at you anymore.”. “Someone you loved dearly was in danger and you did whatever it took to help them. You should never regret that.” his mom declares. Kingsley was truly relieved. Hearing his parents not only understand, but encourage him to follow his heart and rescue his love made him let out quite the euphoric sigh.

“Uh, by the way. If you two were down here all night, than who was capturing the footage?”. Just then, they heard the basement door swing open, looking over to see their blue agent in the doorway. “Evening ladies and gentleman. Agent Blue bird is back from his daring mission of undercover espoinaAAAGH!” Tore announces in the spy accent, but is quickly interrupted when he begins to fall down the stairs. All of them watch as the supposed spy tumbles ill gracefully down the set of step, landing on the basement floor with a loud audible thud. As the indigo agent moans on the ground, Renee walks past, sidestepping him in her worry. Kingsley draws his attention from his agent and more towards his beloved, happily exclaiming: “Renee!”. The platinum blonde turns her gaze away from her rescuer and towards her beloved exclaiming back: “Kingsley!”. The two rush towards one another, holding each other in their warm embrace. The site makes Kingsley parents hearts melt, their son with someone he truly holds dear. The mother gives a soft coo, letting her tears of joy flow through.

Cayenne check up on their blue spy, seeing him try to pry himself off the floor. “You doing okay.” she asks. “Yeah...Did I do a good?” he mumbles in his daze. She thinks about what to say for just a moment before concluding: “Ehhh...Sure why not.”. “HoOrAaaAAaAay...”.

Breaking form their embrace, Kingsley asks Renee: “Are you okay? How bad did he hurt you? Are there any bruises?”. “Kingsley, Kingsley, listen. I’m fine. I’m just happy to see you.”. In the background, the blue bird picks himself up on the floor and dusts off his suit. Kingsley mother approaches the young couple, greeting the blonde with: “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I’d never imagine that he’d get so much worse.”. Tore than adjusts his cuff links, waving his eye brows up and down towards Cayenne as he did so. Cayenne scowls at the boy, making the boy back away, smiling in a nervous sweat. “And to think. He’d do that kinda shit to his own child.” the dad remarks. “Honestly, I’m glad he didn’t find out about Kingsley and I. He would have exploded if he found out I was going out with someone from his rival family.”.

“Hang on. Something still bugging me about all this. Why is whole dumb family rivalry such a big deal anyway?” Tore interjects. “Come to think of it. Mom never did tell me what happened between all of you guys.” Renee mentions. “Yeah, whenever I asked the both of you, you guys always allude to something happening long ago. Just hinting that you crossed one another at some point. What gives?” Kingsley asks his parents. His mother gives a weary sigh and admits to her sons: “I guess its finally time you deserve to know what happened all those years.”.

Back when I was a little girl, both mine and Remy’s dad had set us up on countless dates to try and get us together. They figured that if our families joined, we’d be the most powerful multinational conglomerate in the world. Remy figured the whole ordeal was nothing short of fate. I felt otherwise. The plan fell through as I drifted away from him, his egotistical madness just too much for me to bear. Least to say, he didn’t take my rejection well. He swore that he would do anything to make me his. Over the years that threat drifted away in the back of my mind, especially when I met your dad. He managed to help me out of the hole of depression that I’d found myself stuck in ever since your grandmothers death and we’ve been happy ever since. A little of a rocky road at times, but we’ve managed to always bounce back. Remy than returned, seeing me not only with someone other than him, but happy with your dad, drove him insane. He couldn’t take it. In his desperation, he kidnapped me, saying that if he couldn’t have me, then on one else could. You’re dad quickly came to my rescue, engaging him for me in what seemed to be a long and brutal fight. Remy nearly won, on the cusp of killing your dad. That’s when I stepped in and saved him. Both of us worked together to put a stop to him escaping with our very lives. From that day, the Spicers and Buxaplentys have been bitter rivals to this day.

The children around the couple were enraptured by their dangerous history. Renee can’t believing that her own father attempted such a heinous act before her time. A lot of things were going through the blondes head, the first thing she says is such. “Oh my...god...I...I can’t believe my dad did all of that to you two. I’m...so sorry. I-”. “Renee, sweetie, don’t say another word. Everything that happened back than was your dads fault. You have nothing to be sorry about.” the mom tells her. “I’m just worried about what he might do to my mom with me gone.”.

All of them suddenly hear Tore gasp aloud, screaming: “I forgot about Mally and Mom! They could still be at the party! I-I-I gotta get back over there fast!”. Not a single step does he take before his phone begins to ring. Pulling it out, he finds his sister calling for him. A relieved sigh escapes his mouth before he answers, gushing with: “Oh my god, Mally. I’m so glad you guys are safe. I thought that you guys might have been trapped over at the-”. “What the hell did you do!” she screams, being loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, and the phone not even on speaker. “Um...Excuse me?”.

Over in an alleyway in the city, their mom was peeking out into the streets while Mally was talking to her brother. “We saw you bust through a wall and fly off with you’re girlfriend. Her dad came out screaming and sent security after us. If it weren't for Renee’s mom. Who knows what might have happened. And it turns out, Mr. Buxaplenty isn’t the only one after us. “What you mean by that?”. “Have you checked the news?”.

Upstairs, everyone turned on the living room television, where upon a news man chimed in, announcing: “You’ve heard it here folks. The eccentric trillionaire Remy Buxaplenty has just laid down a handsome reward for the return of his daughter.”. “Oh no.” Kingsley utters. “Earlier this even, the wealthy couple had thrown their annual Buxaplenty Gala, inviting investors and stars alike. Among them were a family of three, the eldest son claiming to be the daughters boyfriend.”. Upon that statement, a picture of Tore, Mally, and their mother had been displayed beside the newscaster head. “Aw man, I blinked.” Tore mentions. “The blue boy had assaulted Mr. Buxaplenty while discussing matters with his daughter in private, snatching the poor girl away from her loving father.”. Renee lets out a disbelieving sigh, remarking with: “Yeah, right. Loving.”. “Is this a case of a lovers affair, dare I say an extreme showmanship of elopement? Well we here can’t say. Regardless, everyone will be on the lookout for the blue boy and his family in hopes of claiming the 10 billion dollar reward.” “How much!?” Cayenne reclaims. “And they better hurry. Buxaplenty says this offer only lasts until midnight.”.

Kingsley turns off the TV and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Thi-this is fine. No need to panic. Just need to take this one step at a time.”. All of them watch as he begins to nervously laugh, which soon turns to panicked hyperventilation as he goes into the corner of the room. “Kingsley, Kingsley.” Renee goes as she approaches. She tries to calm her actual boyfriend down, hugging him while claiming: “It’s alright. Things aren’t as bad as they seem yet. We can think of away out of this. You just need to calm down.”. Kingsley’s breathing pace begins to slow down, coming to a more reasonable speed. “Right?” he utters. He turns back towards his friends and family and tells them in a far more calm manner: “So. We need to make plans to get Renee and Tore’s family out of town fast.”. With a phone to her ear, the mom worries with: “Nnn...Chloe’s not answering her phone. I hope she didn’t lose it.”. “It’s okay. As long as no one saw Renee come here, we should be safe...”. The boy genius turns towards his indigo agent, asking: “No one saw you fly here, right?”. “A couple. Why?” “Guys.” the dad rings out. Looking over, they find her staring out through the window, asking all of them: “Think you might wanna see this.”.

Everyone looks out the window with her, viewing around and wondering what the father wanted them to see. “See what?” Cayenne asks. “Out there.” he responds, pointing towards the front of the manor. Out from the distance, they could spot a cluster of faint glows amongst a crowd of shadows. “What is that?” Kingsley mom wonder. “Kinda looks like an angry mob.” Tore answers.

A closer look revealed his assumption to be correct. A large mob of people was slowly crawling towards the manor, armed to the teeth with sharp weaponry, torches, guns, some even sporting armed rocket launchers. As most of Kingsley and his friends look towards the mob with uncertainty, wonder, even fear, all Cayenne has to say to the entire matter was: “...Well, shit...”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just something to close out a little story plot that I set up. Just to add a note here, the official map of Townsville was release after this Chapter was long finished. Though I suppose it largely doesn't matter.

[asexualzoro]

list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)

[clerichoard]

five times imbris kissed sorrel (and one time sorrel kissed him)

sorrel/imbris, 4.2k

dumb kind of sappy shit for @darlingicarus

(pt 2 of this)

1.

It's a week after the gala incident and Sorrel finds himself pacing his room, Goldie watching him from the bed.

“Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, right?” he asks aloud. Goldie cocks her head at him. “And I'm talking to my dog. About boy problems.”

Goldie barks in response and Sorrel presses his palms into his eyes. No matter how many times he says it, he can't stop freaking out about it. But it wasn't like he had feelings for Imbris. They were barely even friends.

So why couldn't he just get over it?

As if on cue, something hits his window sharply and he removes his palms from his eyes to stare at it. And- again, something small and round hits it dead center. He walks over and slides it open, staring down at the skateboard clad boy standing on the grass beneath his window.

Imbris waves at him from the ground. Sorrel blinks at him.

“You going to come down, mate? Or should I climb up?” Imbris says and Sorrel frowns at him.

“How did you know where I live? And which window was mine?”

Imbris raises both his eyebrows and smirks. “We have a girl in common.”

Sorrel blushes, hard, and slams the window shut. He rushes downstairs and thanks any god that's listening that Imbris decided that showing up in the middle of the day was the best idea since both of his dads are at work.

Goldie chases after him and launches herself out the door once he opens it. He hears a squawk and a noise that sounds suspiciously like someone falling flat on their ass.

When he rounds the corner, Goldie is trying her best to lick his face clean while Imbris tries his best to escape her.

“Get your dog off me!” he yells, and Sorrel takes a moment to laugh to himself before calling Goldie to his side. She trots over to him happily and he leans down to pet her.

“Why were you throwing rocks at my window?” he asks, looking at his dog instead of at the boy in front of him.

“Dunno. Figured if I texted you, might not get a response.” In his peripheral he can see Imbris wiping the dog slobber off his face. Sorrel stands up to his full height and crosses his arms.

“You could've rang the doorbell, you know, like a normal person,” he deadpans. Imbris narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to say something- only to cut himself off with a sigh. He runs his hands through his hair and stares up at Sorrel with a scowl.

“Can we kiss again,” he mumbles, immediately looking away again.

Sorrel blinks.

“I'm sorry, what?”

Imbris grumbles something under his breath and stomps forwards, directly under Sorrel's nose. He grasps Sorrel's t-shirt between his hands and pushes himself up onto his toes. He meets Sorrel's eyes with a challenge.

Sorrel stares at him for a second, trying to process what exactly is happening on his front lawn on this day, and is still trying when Imbris wraps his hands around the back of his neck. He tugs him down and Sorrel goes willingly, still stunned.

The kiss is...not terrible. Imbris is struggling to stay on his toes and Sorrel's neck hurts at this angle and the positioning is all off but. The kiss is okay.

He pulls away when he feels Imbris start to shake with the effort of trying to keep himself balanced.

“My room,” he says. “If you sit- on the bed-”

Imbris groans and heads into the house calling, “This is just a one time thing!” over his shoulder.

Sorrel hopes desperately that he's right.

2.

Of course it’s not a one time thing because why would anything in Sorrel’s life be uncomplicated?

They find themselves in the situation of hooking up while also refusing to acknowledge that they’re hooking up. With Euri it’s easy, because he honestly could never find himself in the situation of actually liking her. With Imbris- well. There’s a small, tiny, percentage of him that’s not completely awful and it scares the shit of Sorrel.

So it’s easier that they never talk about it. They’re friends, loosely, who sometimes hook up. He’s friends, loosely, with Euri and they also sometimes hook up. And Imbris also hooks up with Euri. When did this become Sorrel’s life?

For someone desperate for romance, he’s sure going out of his way to find people who will never want it.

Instead, he hangs out with Imbris and Euri when one of them texts him. He doesn’t know why, they’re both terrible, but someone has to make sure they don’t get arrested. They may also be using him for his ID so they can actually get their hands on alcohol (they’re both tiny and underage and could never pass for older than they are). But Imbris and Sorrel only end up alone sometimes. And then that’s when they hook up. They don’t hang out alone when they’re not hooking up.

So he doesn’t understand why Imbris asks him to come to hang out with him at the skatepark. He doesn’t understand anything about his life for the past couple months, so this may as well just happen.

He’s coming from class and walks to the park, seeing Imbris already skating in the park when he gets there. He sits on a nearby bench and pulls out his phone. He’s halfway through sending a panic text to Euri when he hears wheels skid to a stop in front of him.

“Hey,” Imbris says. “You wanna see something cool?”

He’s wearing a helmet for once, probably was forced to after he wiped out in front of Euri, and he’s smirking at him. He’s wearing his same stupid destroyed jeans that still have a little bit of blood stain on the knee and a bright blue hawaiian shirt. Sorrel doesn’t know why he suddenly feels sweaty. His hands are clammy. He has to clear his throat before he answers.

“Do I have a choice?” he asks and Imbris narrows his eyes and takes off again, skating off onto the ramp.

He goes up and down the ramp a few times and Sorrel finds himself holding his breath each time. Then- Imbris flies up off the ramp and into the air, somehow managing to land perfectly back on the ramp. Sorrel lets out the breath he was holding in a rush as Imbris starts to skate back towards him.

He stops directly in front of him and grins. “Pretty cool, right?”

Sorrel finds himself shrugging. “Was okay.”

Imbris squawks, sputters, and finds himself at a loss for words. Sorrel bites his lip to hold in his laugh. Imbris goes a fun shade of red and, well, it’s...cute. He likes making someone else blush for once.

“You’re fucking with me,” Imbris finally decides. “You shit.”

Sorrel shrugs again, his laugh bursting through just enough for Imbris to narrow his eyes at him.

He’s mid laugh when Imbris steps close enough that he’s looking down at Sorrel for once. Even if it’s just a inch or two, his laugh cuts off. He swallows the thickness clawing up his throat.

Imbris quickly presses their lips together and pulls back with an annoying laugh.

“You think I’m hot shit!” he snorts.

He’s already skating away when Sorrel begins to think that maybe he’s right.

3.

Imbris is drunk.

Sorrel hates the unfortunate sequence of events that have led him here, alone in house with a very intoxicated, small, attractive boy who is insisting on throwing himself at him.

“You’re cute,” Imbris slurs, poking a finger at Sorrel’s cheek.

“You’re very drunk,” he responds, swatting his hand away. It doesn’t prevent him from blushing but Imbris is drunk enough that he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Maybe, but you’re still very cute.” Imbris scoots closer and sits up so he can put his chin on Sorrel’s shoulder. He reeks of alcohol and pizza and mistakes. Sorrel wishes Euri never left because a drunk Imbris is bad for his heart.

Sorrel pushes him away. They don’t do affection or compliments. What they do is make out for ten minutes before they part ways and never speak of it again. He’s used to it by now, despite the fact that he may have a small slight crush on the boy currently trying to crawl into his lap on the couch.

“Stop,” Sorrel mutters when he feels Imbris’ hand on his thigh. “You’re drunk and this isn’t happening when you’re drunk.”

Imbris whines loudly and falls onto his back. “You’re no fun.”

Sorrel heaves out a sigh and gets up off the couch. The radio is still playing top 40’s pop in the background, a remnant of Euri’s presence.

“Oh! I love this song!” Imbris shouts as a new song begins to play. Sorrel is sure he’s heard it before but- not like this.

Imbris tilts back his head and sings.

For a moment Sorrel thinks Imbris has been pretending to be very drunk because there’s no way someone that drunk could sing like this, along so perfectly in time with the music.

It’s some sappy song about falling in love but when Imbris looks him in the eyes and sings like that at him-

Oh, Sorrel thinks. Oh no.

He’s really gone and done it now. He’s fallen for someone who couldn’t care less about him in that way. And Imbris- with his dumb shirts and ruined jeans and white converse and hair that is perpetually a mess- sings so incredibly well that Sorrel can’t stop thinking about how badly he wants to kiss him.

How badly he just wants to sit and listen to Imbris sing every song he’s ever heard because he’s never heard them like this.

Mid-lyric, Imbris lets out a long belch followed by a drunken laugh and the illusion is shattered. Sorrel sighs again.

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” he says and Imbris nods slowly.

“My bed is very far away from here,” Imbris mumbles as Sorrel helps him up. He leans his whole weight onto him immediately but he doesn’t weigh much. Sorrel is almost tempted to carry him just to make going up the stairs easier on them both.

“Luckily mine is very close,” Sorrel says. He blushes at his own choice of words and Imbris coos loudly.

“So we’re getting dirty after all,” he snickers. “Knew you couldn’t resist.”

Sorrel stumbles in his tracks when he feels Imbris’ hand drift to the waistband of his sweats.

“No. We’re not. We’re going to sleep. We’re going to sleep in the same very large bed and that’s all we’re going to do.”

By the time they reach the halfway mark of the stairs, Imbris has draped himself completely on Sorrel, giving him no choice but to pick him up and put him over one shoulder. He protests weakly but doesn’t fight it.

Sorrel places him butt first on the bed and Imbris falls back on his own, already asleep. Sorrel closes his eyes for a moment, trying to take in what exactly he’s gotten himself into here. Then he repositions Imbris so he’s under the blankets with his head actually on a pillow.

Sorrel goes back downstairs and cleans up and by the time he comes back, Imbris is starfished across the whole bed, snoring.

He pushes him over and crawls into the other side of the bed. There’s a soft huff from beside him as the snoring stops for a moment. Then- an arm curls around his waist. A press of lips against the back of his neck.

He tenses, ready to push Imbris away if he goes any further but- the snoring starts again, softer. The body pressed against his back is warm and soft and-

He drifts off and has one of the best sleeps he’s had in awhile.

(When Imbris wakes up and finds their position, he pretends to be asleep until Sorrel wakes up. No one has to know)

4.  

They don’t see each other for a while after that, Sorrel suddenly completely overwhelmed with school all at once. He has several assignments due within a two week period and exams following just after that. He lives at the library and partially it's because he finds it easier to study there and also because he’s less likely to get distracted and start thinking about those thoughts he’s been having about-

Sorrel groans and lets his head fall onto his textbook. He’d gone a good couple hours without thinking about him. Time to reset his internal clock.

As if he could sense Sorrel thinking about him, his phone buzzes with a text on the table. Imbris’ name flashes across the screen. Sorrel’s stomach drops.

The text reads: hey u wanna hang out today

Sorrel replies: sorry, I can’t. I’m studying at the library

He thinks he’s in the clear but then his phone buzzes again.

i can come keep u company ;)

Sorrel stares at it.

or help u with flashcards u know. w/e

He blinks. Did Imbris actually willingly want to come to the library just to see him?

But you hate the library?

Imbris takes a minute to reply back in which Sorrel has several existential crises.

ur right it was a dumb idea forget it

He stares at the phone again and looks around the library. He could use the company even if Imbris was probably going to be more of distraction then any help at all. But he...missed him. Even if it was probably because he was bored or just wanted to hook up, Sorrel kind of didn’t care.

No, you can come. Can’t promise I’ll be super entertaining.

Imbris sends back a whole paragraph of winky face emojis paired with the eggplant emoji but says he’ll be there in twenty.

He stares at the same page in his textbook for the next twenty minutes, rereading the same paragraph over and over but still unable to process it. He’s in the middle of trying again when he hears a familiar quiet laugh.

Imbris’ hands land on his shoulder and he presses a loud and wet kiss to his cheek. Sorrel jumps and pushes him away. Imbris laughs the whole time he wipes the saliva off his cheek.

“Funny,” Sorrel says sarcastically. He turns back to his textbook and refuses to look up at Imbris while his cheeks are still aflame.

“Oi, it was! Don’t get miffed about it,” he says, sliding into the chair across from him. Sorrel can feel the eyes of several students on them and he tries his best to sink lower into his chair.

“I’m not miffed,” he mutters. “I’m just trying to study.”

They’re both quiet for a minute as Sorrel pretends to read that same paragraph again. He’s trying to read past the word the for the seventeenth time when he feels a nudge against his foot under the table. He glances up at Imbris who’s worrying at his lip with his teeth and looking down at the table.

“Sorry,” he says quietly.

Sorrel’s lips pull into a small smile as he looks at the boy before him. There’s a bandage on his eyebrow and he’s wearing a plain blue shirt and for once in his damn life his hair looks like it might actually be combed. He nudges his foot against Imbris’ and leaves it there.

“It’s okay,” he mutters. When Imbris meets his eyes, they widen slightly before they dart away again. “I’m not at my best this time of year.”

Sorrel feels anchored when Imbris sinks lower in his own chair but leaves his foot pressed against his own.

“Thought you might’ve been avoiding me,” he says finally. “Didn’t realize you had shit going on with school or whatever.”

Sorrel had been using school as an excuse to avoid him but- he doesn’t have to know that.

“Why would I be avoiding you?” Sorrel asks. Imbris shrugs. There’s a tense sort of silence as Sorrel looks at him but Imbris won’t look back. “I’m not. Avoiding you, that is.”

“Cool. Anyways, what’re you studying?”

Sorrel begins to explain to him the ancient history textbook he’s been warring with for the past few hours and they actually manage to get through some of his textbook simply by bickering over it.

Sorrel is in the middle of making fun of the obvious ignorance that Achilles and Patroclus were gay by historians when he hears a small noise coming from Imbris’ direction. When he looks over it seems that Imbris has fallen asleep on his hand. He smiles to himself and fills with warmth at the dumb idiot in front of him.

5.

They haven’t hooked up in a month and Sorrel has been getting antsy. He’s worried that he’s somehow put Imbris off, or rather turned him onto the trail that Sorrel has been falling in love with him for months.

It’s not like they haven’t seen each other. They’ve hung out at least twice a week since he finished exams. Mostly they hang out alone now, either at Imbris’ apartment or at Sorrel’s place, and just play video games or just talk about literally anything. Sorrel has taken a vow that one day he will beat his ass at Mario Kart. For someone who doesn’t even own a Nintendo product, Imbris has somehow beat Sorrel on every map in the game. Not even by a little, even the computer manages to beat Sorrel when they play together.

They’re hanging out at Sorrel’s place in the middle of a Mario Kart match when somehow, Sorrel manages to knock Imbris out right at the beginning of the race with a blue shell.

“Fuck!” Imbris squawks. “Bullshit! You cheated!”

Sorrel is laughing as he continues the lap in first place. He’s so focused that he doesn’t notice Imbris until he’s already climbed into his lap.

Imbris’ hands slide through his hair as he crushes their lips together.

The controller promptly falls from his grasp as he fumbles for Imbris’ hips to pull him closer. Their chests press together and yet it’s not close enough as Imbris pulls away to press an open mouth kiss to his jaw, his neck, his collarbone.

“Shit,” he hisses through clenched teeth as Imbris scrapes his teeth against his neck. “Imbris.”

He can feel his smirk against his neck. Sorrel’s hands travel up underneath Imbris’ shirt and god, he’s missed this. How they’ve gone a month without doing this is beyond him.

Imbris’ hands leave Sorrel’s hair as he kisses him again and again, bruising his mouth with the force of it. Sorrel is tempted to pull back, to press soft kisses along his neck, to slow it down, to-

Imbris laughs suddenly against his mouth and Sorrel pulls back to look at him.

He has Sorrel’s controller in his hand and promptly turns the analog stick towards the left. Sorrel watches his kart go off the edge of the map as Imbris scrambles off and picks up his controller again. Toad zooms past as Imbris hollers in victory.

Sorrel stares at the screen, in shock and dazed and reeling from the thoughts he was just having about Imbris (he’s adorable and I want to kiss him forever and I love his idiot face) to the current of anger sweeping over it all.

“You...gremlin,” Sorrel finally says. Imbris stops his victory holler to gasp dramatically and place a hand on his chest.

“Me? Never! Just playing by a different set of rules is all!” He grins. He has the gall to grin at Sorrel after just making out with him to win at Mario Kart. Imbris sees the look on Sorrel’s face and the grin falls as Sorrel stands up to tower over Imbris.

“I can’t believe you,” Sorrel says slowly as he moves towards Imbris.

“Hey, lets just all calm down now, yeah? It’s just a game!”

Sorrel reaches out as Imbris turns to run, catching him by the waist and tossing him over one shoulder in one motion.

“Oi! Put me down! Sorrel!”

He tightens his hold of the gremlin on his shoulder who was currently squirming as best he could against his hold.

“I can bench press two of you, you’re not going anywhere,” he tells him as he heads towards the backyard.

“Where are you- Sorrel! I swear if you throw me in the pool-”

“Which pocket is your phone in?” Sorrel asks politely.

“The left one- no! Don’t take my phone!” Imbris is screeching now as they exit the house and enter the backyard, the pool in sight. Sorrel pockets Imbris’ phone and pats his ass before promptly throwing him into the pool.

Sorrel can’t help but think about how cute he looks when he’s drenched and screaming expletives at him.

+1

It was all Euri’s idea, which should have told him it would have had this outcome.

It was Euri that first prompted Sorrel to ask Imbris to go with him to the gala, so by default it was her fault that he kissed him and then that Sorrel kissed him later again. And then it was her fault because she suggested that Imbris go and kiss Sorrel again if he enjoyed it so much and then it was her idea again that they go out tonight.

So it’s her fault that Sorrel is in a dark theatre with the boy he’s in love with sitting next to him, his hand consistently disappearing into Sorrel’s popcorn without even asking.

Euri had told them she’d meet them at the theatre before the movie, then had texted saying she’d be late and to go in without her. And now it’s well into the movie and she never showed up and Sorrel’s hand has brushed Imbris’ in the popcorn bucket several times and he’s going to die.

He has no idea what has happened in this movie.

“Are you okay?” Imbris mutters in his ear. Sorrel nods robotically and tries to stop his leg that has decided to start bouncing.

Because this feels suspiciously like a date. And if it’s a date and Imbris doesn’t realize it’s a date, then is it actually a date? They’re just two friends who hook up on occasion and share popcorn and share an arm rest and-

Sorrel is going to explode because Imbris definitely doesn’t think this is a date.

He hands him the popcorn bucket and says something about the bathroom before striding out of the theatre. Once out in the lobby, he presses his forehead against the wall and takes a steadying breath.

He checks his phone and he has a message from Euri.

dont freak out nerd ur trying to woo him. there has to be a dark theatre involved.

Sorrel groans out loud.

I really hate you. I do

The kissy face emoji he gets in reply has him rolling his eyes.

He takes another deep breath and tries his best to calm the storm of emotions currently causing turmoil in his head.  

“Mate, you alright?”

The turmoil starts again as Imbris rounds the corner with the bucket of popcorn in his hands.

“You’ve barely eaten any popcorn. Clearly something’s wrong.” He motions to the mostly full popcorn with a raised eyebrow.

Sorrel slides a hand down his face and sighs. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

Imbris laughs, his eyes lighting up with the smile on his lips. Sorrel is incredibly screwed.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Imbris says as he begins to walk. “That movie was absolute shit.”

“Hadn’t noticed,” Sorrel mutters.

“We should get pizza,” Imbris is saying ahead of him. “You need some food, you haven’t eaten a meal in two hours. You gotta be starving by now.”

“Pizza sounds good.” There’s that warmth again. Sorrel desperately wishes he could quell the feeling but- he really loves this idiot. Who insists on eating because he knows Sorrel could eat three whole pizzas and still be hungry. Who realizes when Sorrel is uncomfortable and follows him out of the theatre to make sure he’s okay. Who kisses him and falls asleep at the most inopportune moments and who has to stand on a step ladder to be equal height with him.

Imbris stops on the step above Sorrel on the stairs of the movie theatre when he realizes Sorrel has stopped moving.

Sorrel wraps his hands around his waist and kisses him. It’s soft and slow and open mouthed as Imbris gasps when Sorrel moves a hand under his shirt. It’s not like any kiss they’ve ever had and Sorrel never wants it to end. But there’s only so long it can go on before Imbris will realize what Sorrel is saying with it.

He pulls away and smiles at Imbris who is staring at him blankly.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

“You're...welcome?” Imbris says dazedly. “Wait, what?”

Sorrel shakes his head and heads up the stairs.

“Let’s get pizza, c’mon,” he calls over his shoulder to Imbris who is still standing on the step he kissed him on.  

“I- I’m coming! Hold on!”

Imbris is a clueless idiot who doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but god, if Sorrel doesn’t love him anyways.   

[jwminssi]

Jikook Fic Rec

I spend a lot of time reading fanfics (really, a lot) and I just figured I should gather all my favorite stories in one place for when I want to read them again. This is not as big as it should be seeing as I lost my previous list and had to start all over again *insert sad face here* but I will try my best to update it regularly!

bold: ultimate favorites!

updated: Jun, 23rd, 2018

❈ Glass Diamonds by GinForInk [e / 18.5k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook accidentally fires his skateboard through the window of a dance studio. ~ Commentary: this one is definitely one of my all time favorites! Everything about it from the writing style to the characterization to the plot had me begging for more. I’ll have to read it again soon!

❈ Present by pinkmonnie [m / 21k] ~ Summary: “Sometimes I wish I could fall through this wall instead. Spend a few days with just you and the beach and no other distractions. I'd love some quiet in my life.”  One night, unable to take the solitude, Jimin writes a single word on the wall of the abandoned record store. He never expected to get a reply, least of all from a kind stranger all the way back in the real world. One afternoon, as he's working on the repairs of the record store, Jungkook finds someone had written something on one of the walls. And he writes back. ~ Commentary: There are NO WORDS to describe my love for this fic. Seriously, everything is perfect and the plot unravels so beautifully and it’s wonderfully written, I can’t say enough compliments. If you have the time, please read it!

❈ Don’t Think, Don’t Speak, Just Smile For Me by Ragi [not rated / 145k] ~ Summary:  Jimin's not entirely certain that he'll be alive to see his 18th birthday and finally escape from his father's abuse, but Jungkook's music keeps him believing that he might actually make it. ~ Commentary: I couldn’t stop crying while reading this and I still loved every second of it. Mind the tags and the warnings, though!

❈  why don’t you review me? by cedar_rabbits [e / 7k] ~ Summary:  Jimin reviews sex toys on Youtube. Jeongguk has a crush. ~ Commentary: oh, boy, this one! Jungkook’s the cutest baby with a crush and their dynamics are amazing. (Also, Taehyung is a true treasure in this!!!)

❈ All Of This Seems Like A Dream by njhft_mgc [e / 5.6k] ~ Summary: two dumb and oblivious boys, some couch fun, and awkward mornings. ~ Commentary: I am a HUGE bottom!kook enthusiast and this fic not only has that but it also manages to capture JK’s early days persona into it really well.

❈ International playboy (don't answer) by blt_prf [not rated / 39k, not finished] ~ Summary:  the one in which Jimin manages to mess up everything in one night and accidentally texts the guy he has a crush on ~ Commentary: I usually stay away from unfinished stories but this one was out for my heart from the moment I started reading it. It’s got to be the most believable and well characterized texting fic I have ever read, I highly recommend it!

❈ Can You Give Me My Breath Back by DeadpanSnarker [m / 27k] ~ Summary: Six months until the tournament that would decide Jungkook's future. Six months where he and his team were in dire need to monopolize the ice-rink that had taken a liking to Uni’s new sweetheart. Where Jimin made a bet with Jungkook, which, if Jungkook lost, he would have to be taught how to ‘truly’ skate. Or as how Jimin had phrased it, ‘By the time I'm done with you, you’ll have fallen in love with figure-skating’. Surely things didn’t work out in Jungkook's favour. In their fickle game, Jungkook is in for sex and Jimin is in for love. By the end of the six months, perhaps Jungkook would like figure-skating, but he would have adamantly fallen in love with the figure-skater. ~ Commentary: EVERYTHING. ABOUT. THIS. FIC. IS. WORTH IT. Jimin’s characterization is everything we all want in life and I love it way too much to be healthy. It’s really nice to see the way their relationship develops and I couldn’t stop reading it.

❈ peaches and cream by jiminlogy [m / 2.4k] ~ Summary:  the story of how booty shorts ruined jeongguk's life. ~ Commentary: I had the time of my life reading this one. Jungkook’s struggle is the most amusing thing to read and it’s really well done in this, too!

❈ swim by jiminlogy [m / 12k] ~ Summary: everything about the summer is temporary but jimin doesn't want jeongguk to be that. ~ Commentary: YES!! GIVE ME ALL THE BODYGUARD AU FICS! The atmosphere in this fic is so captivating it took my breath away. The way their relationship develops is so beautifully done and the dialogue in this is also really great.

❈ Practice by nochucomethru [t / 5k] ~ Summary: Jungkook is fed up with being inexperienced. Jimin helps him out. ~ Commentary: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was so good !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like there isn’t enough just making out fics out there and I’m always looking for more. This one was definitely a great find!

❈  pull me closer by pjungkook [not rated / 2.6k] ~ Summary:  Jeon Jungkook is rather competitive. But so is Park Jimin. ~ Commentary: nothing I say will be enough to explain just how much of a masterpiece this is! Their dynamic is so well written and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. It put me on edge as I was reading it and I loved it!

❈ Hey Kitty, Kitty by jonghyunslisterine [e / 3.4k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook and Jimin have been dancing around each other for ages, then Jimin goes into heat. ~ Commentary: I’m usually not a fan of Hybrid!AUs but something told me to read this one when I stumbled upon it one day and MY GOD am I glad I didn’t ignore it! The smut is unbelievable and I’m always down for some boxer!JK, thank you very much.

❈ got that young love (even when we're old) by offthebeat [m / 12k] ~ Summary:  a three-day trip back to busan shouldn't incite these strange feelings in jeongguk again. but, well, busan is almost always equivalent to jimin, and jeongguk's never been the greatest at dealing with either. post-disbandment!au. ~ Commentary: oh this was so heartwrenching and heartwarming at the same time, the way the story was set and the turns of the plot, plus their internal dilemmas and unresolved feelings just gave this a wonderful atmosphere.

❈ Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin by decompositionbooks [e / 34.5k] ~ Summary:  The world didn't think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin's handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook. ~ Commentary: I’m sure everyone already knows or at least heard of this one but I just had to put it on this list because it wouldn’t be complete without it. I can’t express my love for this fic with words, so I just suggest you go ahead and read it if you haven’t already (and if you have, well, read it again).

❈ joke's on you (i'm in love) by NaHe [t / 2.5k] ~ Summary:  Jimin plays a prank on Jungkook for his YouTube channel, expecting him to get angry but Jungkook has always had a soft spot for his hyung. Things don't go as planned. ~ Commentary: FLUFF!!!!!! PURE FLUFF I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT’S ALL

❈  Wish You Were Here by nochucomethru [m / 28.5k] ~ Summary: Jungkook clicked on his picture. And wow. Taehyung was right for once. The dude was gorgeous. His name was Jimin. He was Korean, like them and he had a really pretty smile. Pretty enough that Jungkook actually felt nervous. “He’s really cute. What do I say?” Jungkook asked. ~ Commentary: Listen. Everything about this is perfect, don’t fight me on this. I spent pretty much the entire time I was reading it squealing about how they acted with each other. If you read it, please come scream with me about it.

❈ And Back Again by novilunar [m / 3k] ~ Summary:  Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook ~ Commentary: it was extremely easy for me to identify with Jimin in this and I love it when I can find a fic that makes me feel as much as this one did. Not to mention that the way it was written was just fantastic!

❈ Tastes Like Victory by eumorious [e / 170.5k] ~ Summary: "You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole." Jeon Jeongguk's, a successful underground fighter, life collides with the damaged, vulnerable stripper Park Jimin who needs training on how to fight and defend himself against his clients. Jeongguk is the perfect candidate for the job. ~ Commentary: okay, so this one... I’ve seen a lot of controversy on it before and after I read it but I can’t help but consider it one of my favorites. Granted, I couldn’t read it all at once like the majority of the stories on this list because of how intense and heavy it is, but I still love it a lot. Taehyung and Jungkook’s friendship is so so so beautiful it’s got to be one of my favorite things about it. It’s amazing to see Jungkook evolve and open up and literally transform in front of our eyes, 10/10 for character development. I highly recommend it, but please pay attention to the tags and warnings.

❈ As You Are by  jonghyunslisterine [e / 19k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook's looking for a model for his Shibari exhibition. Jimin just needs some money. ~ Commentary: there’s a certain feeling to this story that I can’t pinpoint but it left me so immersed in it it was hard to let go when it ended. The characterization it amazing and the use of shibari is perfectly done, it doesn’t feel like just another plot device.

❈ What You Need by jonghyunslisterine [e / 8.1k] ~ Summary:  Jimin's heat hits him early, and it's because Jungkook gets into a fight. ~ Commentary: I know, I know... this author again? It’s not my fault their stories are so amazing, okay, let me be... This is pure smut but it’s amazing and definitely worth your time, I promise.

❈ No Strings Attached by graesun [e / 23.3k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook likes his job, but sometimes he wishes he had someone to do it for him. ~ Commentary: as I mentioned before, I’m all for bottom!kook especially when he’s a shy bunny just like in this fic. Oh, and if that’s not enough to convince you, he’s also a camboy, I mean... how many camboy!jk fics are out there? This one is truly a treasure.

❈ Sweeter Than Your Coffee by TsingaDark [g / 3.5k] ~ Summary: Jungkook had a problem. Okay, maybe it was three consecutive problems that all originated from the same thing. Or well, the same person, to be perfectly honest. Problem No. 1 Jungkook had a massive, massive crush on Park Jimin. ~ Commentary: CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE I couldn’t even wait for class to finish to read this, that’s how adorable and great it was.

❈ BTS: Beyond That Screen by jeonify [g / 5.3k] ~ Summary: "i saw you making a face drinking the coffee i made... again... so here's a little something in case i screwed up your coffee. again." + "i liked a picture of my crush in 2014 while trying to stalk him on instagram. shit." alternatively: your ultimate coffeeshop au meets youtuber au ~ Commentary: this has got to be one of the most adorable things I have read in weeks!!!! Again, I was in class while I read it and I had to stop myself from grinning too hard or making any type of noises because it was just SO!!!! CUTE!!!!! I LOVE IT

❈ your body is a place to stay by jonghyunslisterine [t / 8.8k] ~ Summary:  In which Jungkook juggles a five-year-old daughter, Jimin the pretty bookstore employee, and coworkers who like to tease him too much. ~ Commentary: by now you’re all convinced that I love this author, right? This is another work of art, beautiful written and completely captivating. Jungkook’s relationship with his daughter made my heart warm and the way Jimin surprises Jungkook by being the opposite of everyone else made me cry.

❈ Mono No Aware by eumorious [e / 105k] ~ Summary:  Jimin and Jeongguk were only 18 when they moved to New York City and got married, sure that they were soulmates and destined to last forever. Four unfortunate years later, they're divorced and haven't seen a single sight of each other. That is until Jimin's signed as a model in the company Jeongguk works as a photographer for. ~ Commentary: this one is so heartbreaking, my chest hurt at every paragraph! There’s something so painful about the way this author writes but it only leaves me wanting more. I loved every second of it, but please be careful with the tags and warnings.

❈ loverboy by gangbang [m / 9.7k] ~ Summary:  this much jimin’s figured out: sometimes, somehow, his words make people fall in love with him. ~ Commentary: The writing in this is absolutely fantastic and the emotions designated to each of the characters fits perfectly with them. Their dynamics is also really well thought and well written and I love the general atmosphere of the story.

❈ more golden than a golden snitch by aborescent [g / 4.5k] ~ Summary: Everyone knows that the first year Slytherin seeker Jeon Jungkook's biggest fan is not from his own house but a third year Hufflepuff named Park Jimin. ~ Commentary: CUTE CUTE CUTE PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND READ THE ENTIRE SERIES I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO WASTE MORE TIME HERE JUST GO READ IT PLEASE

❈ Surviving Jeon Jungkook by weliveandbreathwords [t / 20.5k] ~ Summary:  The time that Jimin had to sit next to the notorious Jeon Jungkook and had to do all he could to come out alive. ~ Commentary: bad boy!Jungkook being completely taken with Jimin has got to be one of my favorite tropes EVER! It’s amazing how their relationship progresses (the doodlessss my heart!!!) and how we get to see both sides of the story too! Seriously, give this one a chance!!

❈ promise rings by cocksluts [e / 21.8k] ~ Summary:  cliche friends with benefits problems with slight twists of some sort ~ Commentary: I LOVE IT WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE BUT CAN’T BE TOGETHER GOD DAMN IT sorry but I just- the way Jimin handles the situation and how Jungkook’s the one that spills his heart out yes please give me four thousand fics like this!!!!!!!! 

❈ Taste You by beautifulmoment [e / 2.8k] ~ Summary: The band has a photoshoot to do and Jimin’s been brooding all day until Jungkook finds out why. Or, Jimin and admittedly Jungkook really want to try out something new. ~ Commentary: OH BOI THIS ONE listen- I don’t even know what to say, okay, it’s just great and I really enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!!!

❈ Cheat by Nochucomethru [t / 2.7k] ~ Summary:  When he got inside he was greeted with the sound of a beautiful laugh that he didn’t recognize. Despite being Sungjin’s babysitter for three years, Jungkook had never met Jimin. He heard stories about him so many times from his younger brother, but he was just now realizing that he didn’t even know what the man looked like. ~ Commentary: so here’s yet another author that has a lot of places in this list, oops? Their dynamics in this is AMAZING, and the way they behave around each other works super well despite having just met. Wonderfully written, and Jimin’s mom is great.

❈ and a circus ain't a love story (now we're both sorry) by sweetmxchi [m / 4k] ~ Summary: in his desire to escape, jungkook ends up finding something that will keep him grounded. ~ Commentary: um yes, hi, here’s some shameless self promo lol the reason I included this fic is because I’ve been going through some changes in my life and it’s reflecting in what I write... this is different from most of the stuff I’ve written and while I am super proud of myself for finishing it (it took me weeks to get it done) I’m also a bit insecure. so yeah, if you feel like it, let me know what you think?

❈  reassurance by blushguk [t / 1k] ~ Summary:  in which taehyung and jimin are a little too close for jungkook's liking ~ Commentary: I cried reading this, that is all. This is not your typical jealous!jk fic and I loved it for it!

❈  It’s always been you by calicojikook [m / 11k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook and Jimin have a history together. Years later, Jungkook works in a body mod. shop with Yoongi and gets an unexpected customer. ~ Commentary: I’m always a sucker for tattoo artist!Jungkook and this one is so so so well done, I had my heart in my hands while I was reading it. A bit painful, but it’s all worth it in the end.

❈ Nanny by Nochucomethru [m / 13.1k] ~ Summary: “I can’t believe I’m actually considering being a nanny. What did I do wrong in my life?” Jungkook sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Probably the entire sleeve tattoo that you couldn’t afford,” Taehyung said. ~ Commentary: I think it’s time we establish that this is one of my favorite authors and literally everything they write is perfect. JK is so soft in this and I love the way the author portrayed his relationship with Jimin’s daughter. I loved every. word. of. it. READ IT!!!!

❈ To the naked eye by mecchayabai [e / 6k] ~ Summary:  It’s one of those meaningless, mandatory classes, and Jungkook is fully prepare to spend it doodling dicks into his notebook. But when Jungkook sees the TA, the only thing he wants to do with a dick is stick it into him. ~ Commentary: YES YES YES!!!! The tension between them is great, and I love Jungkook’s characterization in this!!!

❈ nudity in its best form by yoonnseok [m / 11.6k / unfinished] ~ Summary: Best friends since elementary school, Jeongguk and Jimin agreed to help their photography major friend Taehyung with his new project. But Taehyung forgot (not really) to mention the theme. Which was, nudity. ~ Commentary: this is so beautiful! I have no words to describe how well written this is, and I was so immersed in it from the first paragraph! Although it’s not finished, I still love it a lot!

❈ #jikook by TsingaDark [t / 11k] ~ Summary:  Jimin has a crush on Jungkook and finally meets him when he accompanies Taehyung to a gaming convention. ~ Commentary: this is so cutejkndlsjkndns their characterization is A M A Z I N G and I was smiling all throughout the fic, really!! lots of love to it <3

❈ just stay by hellodarknessmyoldbud [g / 3.8k] ~ Summary:  “Hyung, you don't love me.” the youngest whimpers as tears keep streaming down his cheeks. “You love each other.” ~ Commentary: okay, firstly: this is yoonminkook so not everyone is going to read it, I know... but it’s so sad and heartbreaking and GOD it made me feel so many things, I HAD to put it in here!!

❈ yesteryear’s charms by flitter [m / 18.3k] ~ Summary: After losing a bet, Jimin has to perform the Jingle Bell Rock routine from the iconic Muggle film, Mean Girls, at Hogwarts' annual talent show, dressed in red pleather and black knee-high boots. He receives a bigger reaction from certain people (read: ult rival Jeon Jeongguk) than expected. ~ Commentary: LISTEN!!!!!!!!! All HP AUs are welcome and loved in this household, especially Slytherin!Jimin ones, okay?? This fic, mannnnnn, I actually can’t tell you how much I love it, you just have to read it and see for yourself.

❈ Shy, Curious by onlyalivetonight [e / 17.2k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook goes to a 'Shy, Curious' night for a BDSM club, because he is shy and definitely curious. He meets Jimin and Yoongi, who might just want him as much as he wants them. ~ Commentary: I SWEAR I didn’t mean to put another yoonminkook in here but this one just pulls at my heart strings in all the best ways :(( their characterization and dynamics as couples and a trio are so so so perfectly written, I just wanted more! it’s soft and hard at the same time and I loved every moment I spent reading it!

❈ We Can Smile by njhft_mgc [m / 3.2k] ~ Summary:  rich CEO boyfie jimin buys jungkook lots and lots of pretty stuff ok ~ Commentary: I’m always a sucker for sugar daddy AUs and whipped!Jimin so OF COURSE this gem had to be included, it’s so good :(((

❈ Love Exhibition by busanmonarchy [m / 2k] ~ Summary: P.D.A. (Public Displays of Affection): – acts of physical intimacy in the view of others. Or: Jimin and Jungkook are in love and not trying to hide it. ~ Commentary: this one :( it’s so beautiful, the way it’s written really highlights the nature of their relationship and makes us feel how in love they are and it just warms my heart and makes me sad at the same time

❈ Hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing! by lovevminkook [g / 2.4k] ~ Summary:  Jimin gets his boyfriend to teach him about baseball. Jungkook might regret it later on. ~ Commentary: this is HILARIOUS plus the high school musical reference really does it for me ejhsdjn read it, seriously, I love it a lot!

❈ fetish for my love by meatykook [e / 4k] ~ Summary: Jimin found Jungkook's lace shirt so distracting that he decided to tell the whole world that. Jungkook is going to show him how really distracting it can be. ~ Commentary: okay so I remember when Jimin said that and I was like djshnjn EXCUSE ME and T H E N I found this fic and OH MY GOD please read you’re in for a RIDE

❈ Itchy Fingers by peanutbutterapple [g / 6.3k] ~ Summary:  Jungkook is on the hip hop team. Jimin does Irish dance. ~ Commentary: um so this is the cutest thing?? their characterization is AMAZING and everything flows really well and I love it

❈ If Only You Knew by pancakejungkook [t / 3.7k] ~ Summary: Jimin was just tying to be a good friend, he only wanted to help. However, when he opened Jungkook's laptop, he got so much more than he bargained for. ((Based off the prompt: You've been typing furiously on your laptop in the library, and have just gone to get a book, so I had a quick look and you're writing hardcore gay porn and it's GOOD.)) ~ Commentary: LISTEN FJNSDKLN JUST THE PROMPT IS ALREADY ICONIC THE REST OF THE STORY IS EVEN BETTER I’M DYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

❈ i'm getting way too deep (i'm into it) by jhsmyg [e / 7.3k] ~ Summary: jikook meets on grindr. jimin said he wanted to fuck him later. jungkook was into it. ~ Commentary: there are no comments?? for this??? nothing I can say can make it better or even compare to how amazing this is so just go read it pls

❈ Getting to Know You by mn_bts [e / 5.4] ~ Summary:  Jungkook is just another overwhelmed college student. His hot neighbor, Jimin, has an interesting problem with a bold silver lining. ~ Commentary: Jimin playing innocent to get what he wants will always be my weak spot plus this fic is so HOT I can’t even put it into words (also I just reread this while updating the list so...........)

❈ me and you, living under a paper moon by eutony [t / 6k] ~ Summary: wherein jimin’s a barista who hates rude customers, and jeongguk’s just a guy who wants to order a latte without making a complete fool of himself. or: the “you’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU. ~ Commentary: this is adorableeeee and funny too edsnjn Jimin’s characterization is AMAZING and the way Kook just rolls with it yes thank you for this gem

❈ i guess i want too much by jonghyunslisterine [e / 16.5k] ~ Summary: "So, uh, how do you guys know each other?" "We're brothers," Jungkook says, and Jimin chokes on his own spit. Great. He fucked a pair of brothers. ~ Commentary: so I love when Jimin is written the way he was in this fic, that’s already a huge thing I appreciate in this fic BUT it is yoonminkook (admittedly not the only one in this list oops?) so idk if you guys like that... either way, this author is one of my faves as you can see from the number of works they have in this rec and the way they write is AMAZING plus the story is FANTASTIC and the smut is INCREDIBLE not to mention how well the story goes together and their dynamics too.

❈ The Chili Pepper Incident by thisneedsmorefilth [e / 7.5k] ~ Summary: Jungkook always thought Jimin was well...tiny. Short, little hands, small feet, small....everything. But add in a broken laptop charger and a maknae who doesn’t bother knocking and the truth will set you free. And get you laid. ~ Commentary: immediate fave just for Jimin’s characterization. jikook’s dynamics are A+ and the way Kook slowly loses his mind when things don’t go the way he expected is also amazing lmao

❈ in bloom by fatal (cumrich) [t / 2.5k] ~ Summary:  jimin still hasn't wrapped his head around the fact that he has a husband but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate the sight of him. ~ Commentary: okay so the fact is that I don’t usually read ABO fics but this one, man....... it called for me you know? and when I read it it just got my heart in a way that I can’t even comprehend. so here, enjoy it, it’s WONDERFUL.

❈ Emotional Colors by WorldwideWriter [nr / 14.2k] ~ Summary: An AU in which your hair color changes based on the emotions that you're experiencing. or Jimin has been way too obvious about his feelings lately and Jungkook is a hormonal young man who should know that taking off his shirt in front of Jimin is a bad idea. ~ Commentary: LOVE THIS CONCEPT LOVE THE WRITING LOVE THE CHARACTERIZATION LOVE THE SMUT PERFECT YES

❈ I Get Off On You (And You) by HereIGoAgain [e / 15k] ~ Summary: "You trying to fuck him?" Jimin smiled and looked over at Jungkook. He was pleased to see that Jungkook was watching them, even as he shifted and moved with the music. "Or you," Jimin said, and enjoyed the definitive dark flicker that passed through Yoongi's eyes, felt himself internally preen at the fact that it was directed at him. "Whoever you think can fuck me the best." ~ Commentary: so um...... yes, it’s another yoonminkook fic SUE ME but just.... everything about this, the way they interact, the way they were written, the teasing, the dialogue and the smut let me tell you, this smut???????? FUCKING PERFECT there are no other ways I can compliment this fic but it’s SO SO SO WORTH THE READ

❈ Scribbles and Drawings by evil_pandabear [g / 2.3k] ~ Summary: Jimin would draw for his soulmate whenever he could, and in return he got adorable scribbles of random notes. Jungkook was forgetful and would write everything down on his hand, and got to watch the beautiful drawings form on his arm. ~ Commentary: cute cute cute cuTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTEEEEEEEE put a huge smile on my face