#even if they DONT serve a immediate purpose

[hi-note]

Dead of the night.

rambling in tags preserved for reblogs because it’s very much a part of this post

[caffeinatedopossum]

Yknow... I've spent so long focusing on me- what *I* want, what *my* reason for being alive is, that I think I completely forgot I can never separate my life from others- no matter where I look, other people are always at the core of what's important to me. Like yknow what? Maybe I don't want to be alive, maybe I don't see the value in life and it means nothing to me- but other people do. Other people *want* to live, for reasons that I simply don't have. And I think if me dying, or just trying to explain to explain how I think and feel even, would make that worse for someone else, then I don't want to. Because they deserve to keep the things that matter to them. Because I don't have a lot of faith in the meaning of life or hope that I'll have a happy future... but what I do have is faith in other people. Even if I shouldn't, I do and I'm not sorry for it.

[kcrossvine-art]

G'morning all! Its nice to get back things,. Theres been some roadblocks with med shortages and life, and also with the material for these recipes. So far we've covered a lot of pastries, not because theyre mentioned more often in the series, but because being mentioned lends them more specificity in flavor than things like gravy, peas, or various meats. The latter can be prepped, seasoned, and served in so many different ways that it feels harder to make them 'faithfully' because a packet of instant potato mash is just as faithful as a pot of buttered potato mash. Baked goods tend towards 1, maybe 2, 'base' recipes that get altered and added to. 

 Today, we'll be making Beorn's Honey Cakes! A dish from one of my partners favorite characters- a delectable little treat befitting the… warm personality of the character.

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Beorn's Honey Cakes?” YOU MIGHT ASKSimple stuff! Simple sweet stuff!

All-purpose flour

Baking powder

Salt

Ground nutmeg

Unsalted butter

Whole milk

2 eggs

Honey

Vanilla extract

The veins of honey cakes ancestry can be traced back to any moment where people began baking bread. Honey is a natural preservative, and sweeter still on its lonesome.

AND, “what does Beorn's Honey Cakes taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKLike your aching muscles repairing themselves

Tastes like a honey graham cracker

But the texture is softer, wetter- somewhat like banana bread

Oh, and this will make your house smell So So Good

If you can resist the temptation of eating them immediately, they taste even richer the day after baking

Would pair well with milk green tea

Would also pair well with fresh orange slices (or those chocolate 'orange slices' candy)

Genuinely don't forget to flip them upside down when they go to bake the second time, not sure what it is but i was curious and did a test where i flipped half of the batch upside down and kept the other half of the batch right-side up like they cooked in the muffin tin. The ones i flipped upside down universally had a more consistent texture and the honey was able to permeate further.

.where honey called for, used clover honey

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From start to finish this recipe takes about an hour of work, give or take some negligible time for prep.

The batter is perhaps the babybird of all cake batters. The gloopy, protruding crumbs of butter, not unlike a squabs beady pupils visibly dark under its skin, break up the mass of sickly smooth and reassuringly sweet-smelling oak-colored liquid. You can feel the confusion of bees outside your home, wondering if this your attempt at making royal jelly.

Just like a babybird, it becomes more than the sum of its parts. Layer on that honey drizzle, layer it on thick, theres no risk of drowning subtle flavors. Its crisp edges will keep its form, springy and warm, inviting you as if you're not the one who crafted it (food you didn't cook always tastes better). The bees are sooooooooooooooo jealous of your opposable thumbs and muscular strength.

If you dont have eggs you could try substituting with apple mash. I can't vouch for it in this recipe but replacing eggs with mashed up apples for pancakes gives it adds a nice fruity flavor without changing the texture, and in theory should work here as well.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) 

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

270 grams all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp freshly ground nutmeg

1 stick unsalted butter

160 grams milk

2 eggs

110 grams your favorite honey

1 tsp vanilla extract

Muffin tray and parchment paper

Method:

Preheat oven to 350f

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.

 Add the butter and rub it into the flour with your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. 

In a small bowl beat the eggs until just combined. Pour in milk and then vanilla extract while stirring.  Keep stirring vigorously while slowly pouring in honey.

Stir until the mixture is consistent in color.

Pour the liquids over the dry mixture and stir until just combined.

Pour the batter into a greased muffin tray, don't use any muffin paper/lining/cups.

Bake for 16 minutes, or until they reach their full height.

Carefully remove from the muffin pan and place the muffins upside down on a parchment lined tray.

Using a silicone pastry brush, generously cover the tops of the cakes with honey. Allow to sit for about 5 minutes to let the honey soak into the cakes.

Bake for an additional 8-10 minutes, or until the cakes are golden brown.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

[potetosaradas]

I've been marinating on some Rick Prime thoughts/theories. I might be completely wrong and way off base, but this was a delusional idea that ive had and can't seem to let go of sksjfdkdl this post got really long rIP to anyone who decides to read this

I'll be referring to this timeline I made. I'm basing the years off of known/confirmed ages in the show from when the show started airing in 2017, to track and pin down some possible key dates/time frames in the Sanchez/Smith family past.

I've always wondered about Prime and his timeline. Like, did he have a Diane before/during/after he met Rick? When did he meet her? How and why would he meet her? I feel the circumstances would greatly change the flavour and impact of their relationship, knowing this information!

But! Based off this timeline, i have reason to suspect that Prime met his Diane after he killed Rick's family, given that his Beth is younger than C137’s Beth.

Now... why would he do that? Why would he purposefully go and meet Diane, marry her and make a family, when he JUST killed Rick for the same thing?

WHAT IF. Prime was using Diane as cover to hide from Rick?????? SUPPOSEDLY, Morty brainwaves do that whole complimentary, masking brainwaves thing-- but WHAT IF, Diane's ALSO had the same ability?????? had to come from somewhere right??????

ANYWAY it seems like it takes 3-4 years after killing Rick's family to he starts his own. I imagine in this time period, Rick and Prime were playing a game of cat and mouse across the universe. What if Prime decided to go back to his own dimension to lay low?

He finds out that Diane brainwaves keep Ricks hidden, so he goes back to find his own Diane. He woos her, love bombs her and within 1-2 years he's dated her, married her and started a family with her.

See, I dont think Prime ever really loved or cared about his Diane. I don't think he actually even wanted to get married at all. So why tf would did he do that???????? Well, I could definitely see him using marriage for self serving purposes. After all, didn't c137 do the same thing? He went back and used Prime's family for his own gain.They have no issue using people 🤷

So anyway, Prime hides himself from Rick for 15 years with Diane and Beth. He plots away at his Dastardly Evil Plans, keeping tabs on Rick, hiding from him as he slowly pieces the Omega Device together until it's ready. We know that Prime was an absent father and I can't imagine him having a better relationship with his Diane compared to C137/Diane C137, so I'm willing to bet he had an extremely strained marriage with her. BUT AGAIN, that would make sense, if he was only using her to his benefit only caring about the construction of the device/hiding himself from Rick C137.

additionally, i dont think he immediately went to go back to find Rick C137 as soon as it was completed. Contrary to popular belief, i dont think Prime was using the omega device to specifically torture C137. I definitely think it played a big part in it, but there were definitely other reasons as to why he made this device.

I'm not clear on what Prime's exact motivations are, but it's always seemed to me that he wanted to make an army of Ricks or at least, he seemed to be searching for superior Ricks/that could match his level.

I'll be using some scenes from the crybaby backstory for some points:

After Prime killed Rick's family, it looks like (from 00:33 to 01:05) Rick has been adventuring around the universe, checking out new universes and also looking for Prime, feeling frustrated when he comes up empty.

If you look closely, it doesn't look like Rick is looking for Prime on Earth dimensions. Again, making me think that Prime went back to his own dimension to hide from Rick-- its almost kind of like the last place Rick would ever go look for him too??

In the very next scene, Rick has visibly aged. If Rick was 27-30 in previous frames, the aged jump makes Rick look like he’s 35-45 (maybe even older). He's glumly eating noodles and clearly doesn't look happy at all. He looks super jaded. During this time, we can see him in his rebel phase, fighting with BP and the infamous Bloodridge battle.

BP rejects him, and as we know, Rick doesn't take kindly to rejection. What happened when Morty rejected him in s6? He went back to the one thing that has always made sense to him, the one thing that's always kept him going. So perhaps, he goes back to his hunt for Prime after having lost his purpose and way with BP.

According to the timeline that I have, Prime is about 51 years old when he might've completed the Omega device. This lines up pretty neatly with Rick in his rebel phase era (tail end of 40 years old) So, what does they do next?

According to the video, we can see Rick starts finding a pretty good lead on Prime. If Rick and Prime were the only ones to actually invent portal tech, the old Rick using a portal gun at 01:15 is a Rick that Prime shared portal tech with. That's a pretty great start to tracking Prime. He tracks Prime down to a maze like base with OTHER RICKS BUT there are guard Ricks (that perhaps are Ricks that Prime has recruited to his side???) and also other Ricks he is competing with to get to the center. We see Rick is visibly frustrated when the other Rick smashes the Cube in the case. What if that was a lead to Prime directly?

In season 7, we see that Prime likes to play with other Ricks in the form of SAW traps. He seems to like weeding and sorting through Ricks.

WHAT IF, this maze like base was also another competition? And Prime was gathering Ricks using the potential of the omega device as bait?

Anyway, I have reason to suspect that the omega device was first triggered and destroyed by 1999 as Morty seems to have very little attachment to Diane making me believe he never met her or remembered her presence AND also at 01:57 in the video, Rick visibly ages again (becoming the Old Rick we all know so well, I would definitely place him at 60-70 at this point). He's back at his old home, the last place he ever saw Diane alive. He's drinking and he's still so very very sad, massacring Ricks left right and center. To meeeee, this sort of I really dont give a fuck anymore attitude seems a LOT like the attitude of a man who's REALLY lost everything. If he thought he lost Diane once, he's now forced to consider the reality that you could lose the person you love over infinity entirely. It would be even worse if it was Rick that accidentally triggered the omega device to go off killing all Dianes lol even if he managed to destroy the device in the end. Anyway, strong possibility that he did it considering how many Ricks start going after him????

IDK.

I HOPE SOME OF THIS MAKES SENSE?? Im not very good at explaining myself 💀

[eddiegettingshot]

Its funny because at the time I wasnt really that upset with not having a scene with buck apologizing to eddie because it was so heavily implied by the dialogue that he was going to that Im not going to be like buck never apologized because that would be really weird and bad behaviour. And the way it was written (tommy taking eddie to get checked) it made sense that buck might not immediately assault eddie with his presence because at that point he feels that tommy has fully replaced him so eddie doesnt need him or want him around probably. BUT now Im like because of how they chose to write it the ending of the episode makes no sense. Like the maddie buck scene serves no purpose except to prompt buck to act like a normal 30yo. But the “dont do it again” and “I guess I was trying to get his attention” actually make no sense and serve no purpose unless you follow that up with buck getting over himself to apologize. But they cant end the episode with buddie canon obviously so thats why it would have just made much more sense to have buck take eddie to a clinic, have them actually talk about what happened instead of the maddie talk, and then follow that up with the bucktommy kiss scene if thats what they wanted to do. Like eddie didnt even say no to buck taking him to a hospital or whatever tommy was just like ACTUALLY I’ll do it :) he would much prefer I do it instead of either of his closest friends one of which is a paramedic :) which I know because I worked with him for several years and also he just announced he was a paramedic like a minute ago :) like its not like eddie was in a condition where he needed medical attention from the closest hospital immediately buck could have taken him wherever. Like why was tommy acting like that lol

yeah no this episode is sooooo confusing in its writing and structure like. of course buck did apologize but it’s SO. so. incredibly weird to me that he only decides it’s fine to approach eddie and do it once he gets confirmation and a little pressure from tommy (…and if eddie WERE mad was he just. never going to talk to him. or like what was that about). and lmao actually the way tommy acts at the basketball game is one of the things that gave me shitty vibes from him even before the hiatus. i have pretty much always maintained that if they wanted buck to seem normal and wanted me to think he was being (1) normal about eddie (2) not a shitty friend and (3) different than he has in the past, they should have replaced the maddie scene with buck going to eddie’s house, apologizing like a grown-up, hearing from eddie that tommy felt bad about everything, taking the initiative to clear the air with tommy by inviting him over maybe, and then the kiss still could’ve happened pretty much exactly the same way. but for whatever reason buck couldn’t actually talk to eddie and now i’m here like well he’s not acting like someone with a crush he’s just suddenly acting weird about his best friend he spent the entire episode being weird about and that’s not actually resolved by the end.

[flodaya]

Do people know that actors have a script and know how big or small is the role they are booking in.

These complaints about Zebdaya's roles in big movies is nonsense. She decided to do them. But also Dune like Homecoming were designed to be small with a bigger role in the second movie.

Why this people are complaining so much about The Nolan movie, nobody knows how big or small her role is, even so she was happy to do it.

So many actors in Hollywood are so happy to be in a Nolan movie, not matter the role. Why they think Zendaya is this huge star that can't be doing a supporting role with Directors like Nolan or Denis.

The reality here is, they are not mad that Z is doing a supporting role in the Nolan movie, they are mad because Tom is having a leading role in the same movie.

and they act like supporting roles immediately mean insignificant, i feel like literature class has failed us because are people aware each character in a well-written story serves a very important purpose?

anyway, i somehow enjoy arguing about this endlessly because it all just sounds so silly from the other side, Z signed onto a Nolan project so early in her career and that is an amazing opportunity for her, imagine telling anyone outside stan circles that being a supporting character in his movie is somehow a bad thing lol

anyway: "they are mad because Tom is having a leading role in the same movie" PREACH they make tz a competition when in reality they are clearly a team

edit: actually i dont think they had a script for the new Nolan movie but.... like come on, who wouldnt sign on, i'm sure they approx know what they signed up for

[jabberwockprince]

ITS ME AGAIN, EXCEPT I DONT HAVE ENERGY FOR A FULL PIECE BUT!!! THIS EXTREMELY GOOD ADDITION ON THE HANAHAKI DISEASE DISCUSSION BY @instantartific INSPIRED ME TO DRAW!!!

as much as i love to bully rin with existential crisis and shit, i still think he'd be the last one to break down - but the first one??? to fall out of line??? to me its definitely eloni

as usual, me rambling under the cut!!

right off the bat, i do like to think a lot about how eloni sees himself as the weakest link of 1010 - entirely because he gets less fans. their entire existence revolves around entertaining, so if he cant even do that, then what's the purpose of him being around and all? its a very unfair way to live but it's not like they were even supposed to have opinions about it. and that's the beginning of his downfall. the fact that his popularity is affecting him on an emotional level when it shouldnt even be a THING. he already feels outdated, defective and more!!!

i also think that eloni is torn between the fear of being caught and the need to be seen. like, this is something brand new that's happening to him. he's an anomaly and one of a kind BECAUSE of these feelings. to a guy who rarely gets the chance to shine???? IMAGINE. IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO HIS ALREADY CRUMBLING IMAGE

like come on guys. there's a reason eloni is always paired up with haym. they're very cute together as a fun duo with fun dynamics, but in boybands, there's always that one guy who only serves to uplift others.

something something, sentience and self-awareness are a nightmare, it sucks that there's no one you can trust wholeheartedly (nym put this into cooler words, go read the linked post! go go go!) and the second you deviate, there's the immediate threat of being reset. all of you? gone. BUT THERE'S ALSO. THE POTENTIAL OF STANDING OUT

yes. he gets little sprouts and vines instead of specific flowers to really emphasize how much of a weak persona eloni believes he has. even if he's found out, it won't be grand. it will be a relief to him (or so he thinks) but he's certainly not going out with a bang. also the green plants blending in with his own designated color? there's another metaphor in there, i just cant put it into words!! small inconspicuous little things that amount to something extremely dangerous and painful!!!!

i imagine eloni sees this hanahaki disease as catharsis, since there's no way he could've ever voiced his feelings, the only way for him to be noticed is through an external force that's extremely hard to ignore. its eating him up from inside out, but in his eyes, it's fine because it gives the world an excuse to look at him

and in the event of yinu's mama straight up outing eloni to neon j or the others, i also think he'd have the most tame, accepting reaction to it? or like, not necessarily accepting, actually but resigned. part of him was anxiously waiting for it to happen, while also dreading this very moment

on the subject of the plant itself and how it coexists with eloni, i think that his vines and sprouts are very small very thin but that they're the most constricting things ever. like, they get EVERYWHERE in his joints. in every crevice and space available. whereas purlhew might instead just have an ungodly and suffocating amount of blue flowers located entirely in his chest cavity until he bursts. or haym might have very localized sprouts and blooms that just. pop. as if attuned to every feeling he's trying to repress. i dont know what zimelu has, but it needs thorns. and rin? well. WELL <3. ITS A POISONOUS PLANT FOR SURE <333

[beesmygod]

REVERSE ENGINEERING THE PURPOSE OF THE CROWN OF ILLUSIONS

just hear me out. then you can tell me if im insane.

in bloodborne, there is a unique piece of head wear called "the crown of illusions". it serves a single purpose: to open an illusory wall revealing the location of an otherwise entirely hidden NPC, annalise, queen of the vilebloods.

the crown is dropped after a boss battle and you are intended to put it on immediately after the fight so that the fake wall can be revealed in a cut scene. they did NOT want you to miss this mechanic. otherwise, why not simply have the throne room blocked by a fog gate? its fine for other bosses, right?

this mechanic is never used again. this is insanely weird because 1. there are other illusory walls in the game specifically in the chalice dungeons (twice, i believe, in the lowest possible levels). however, they function like standard fromsoft illusory walls and are revealed by hitting them with a weapon. the crown does nothing. and 2. there is otherwise no satisfactory explanation for this mechanic at all.

i have often expressed my frustration that when things dont "line up" in fromsoft games its chalked up to dev error or some flavor of "its all dreams/made up" which i refuse to entertain unless its the last possible explanation barring literally all others. this stupid crown has been bothering me for years because of how seemingly inexplicable it is. this has been doubled by the fact that the crown is not unique; alfred leaves a crown of his own (and must have had it to enter the queen's chambers) at the end of his quest and the titular sages of the "sage's hair" item are depicted as wearing crowns.

visually, the sage items are based off the real life concept of catacomb saints (and, in fact, i think "saint" would have been a better translation over "sage" considering this, but thats neither here nor there), hence the gems and jewels and crowns and shit. that part makes sense to me just fine. but where else would this illusion mechanic have been used?

ill tell you where: in the secret 4th layers of the "canon" (non-root) chalice dungeons!

canonically, there is only one chalice dungeon with a 4th layer, otherwise they all end at layer 3. this also intrigued me bc of its irregularity in a system of "dungeons" that are almost entirely copy-pasted rooms; why choose a completely random chalice in the middle of the sequence have an extra layer?

i came up with my own explanation for this that works a treat: the chalice in question, lower pthumeru, has rom the vacuous spider as its THIRD LAYER boss. rom is a boss you would have first encountered outside of the dungeons who has a unique ability: to block rituals and secrets from sight. the rom you fight in the main story is hiding a secret ritual and killing her reveals the ritual to the world. the rom you fight in the dungeons is hiding a secret layer of the labyrinth wherein the hunter will find a truly terrible secret: the source of the beast blood.

we now know this fourth layer IS narratively intended to be a secret layer...because EVERY story-related chalice dungeon had a secret 4th layer! they are "fully functional" if not a bit odd/broken (but not NEARLY not to the point of other hacked dungeons) but with bosses that either fucking suck or are placeholders (...or im coping lol). but look at this: ive timestamped this video at the point where the 4th layer elevator "reveals" itself!

other boss room exits are simply blocked by a fog wall (or, if you're on the last layer, it dead ends and you use the lamp to warp out). this "fade in" effect is the illusory reveal effect! as the linked post from the eternally fascinating hard work from r/tombprospectors reveals, there is some weird ass shit in these layers. enough that i started a red string wall of madness to try to keep track of it all. its not even weird stuff in a game dev way, i mean weird in a plot and lore way. its awesome lol.

the 4th layers were only discovered within the last 2 years. i am confident now about the mechanics of how this was intended to work, but still shaky on the ~lore implications~. what were kings and saints only permitted to see and access? what were they privy to that the rest of the populace of the dead civilization was not?

LORE THEORY: THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AND USE OF THE CROWN OF ILLUSIONS WAS TO REVEAL SECRET 4TH LAYERS OF THE CHALICE DUNGEONS, AS EVIDENCED BY THEIR EXISTENCE IN THE GAME CODE AND MEANS OF ACCESS. THEY CHOPPED IT OUT DUE TO THE USUAL FROMSOFT DEV CYCLE INCLUDING A PART WHERE THEY SPILL EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR MINUTES BEFORE LAUNCH AND HAVE TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK TOGETHER QUICKLY

[fuxuannie]

First time requesting so sorry if this doesn’t make sense, if you’re willing could you write about Yanqing comforting a reader who’s been feeling down because their feeling burnt out? So so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but thanks anyway for possibly considering it!

-🌝 anon

↳ pairing : yanqing x g-neutral reader

↳ synopsis : request ♡

↳ authors note : CLEARING OUT DRAFTS 🧸‼‼ i i really wananana get back into writing n i dont wanna leave what i started here!!!

YANQING noticed how much more you tended to zone out within the day. Sure, you'd stop paying attention 5 minutes into his ramble about swords - but at the very least you'd make it to the discussion of how they're made. Nowadays, you're forgetting hes talking to you before he could even start.

Not only that, but you seemed to work and work but seemingly not out of the passion you had before, but almost as if you were doing it in hopes to find a purpose. He couldn't explain it properly, but it was like you were no longer working cause it made you happy, more over because was expected and wanted of you.

Sure, it was your job to serve, but you were allowed to ask for breaks and such if it was needed and you DEFINITELY needed one.

So he had approached Jing Yuan and asked for permission to pull you out of work for a few hours. "Oh, Yanqing.. You kind soul, you're more than free to be able to help them." He does his usual precious smile, bows to his superior and hurries off to find you.

He asked around with the locals if they had seen you, his expression of worry worsening by the second as people would answer more no's and no's. And when all hope seemed lost, a certain fluffy tailed woman had known exactly where you were, and told the concerned blonde once she noticed his usual smile curl downwards into a frown.

"Thank you, Miss Tingyun!" Yanqing bows before running off towards one of the trees in the training grounds, it was a private & closed off area for the Cloud Knights with various different training equipment but a giant tree in the center of it all.

His worry faded away when he saw you asleep against the trunk, snoring softly as your hair was a slight mess due to the wind that was blowing.

The young swordsman sits next to you, his head faced your sleeping form as he hesitantly puts a hand on your shoulder and shakes you. Waking you up from your peaceful nap.

"..Mm.." Was the first sign that you were waking up, watching your head shift slightly before settling in his general direction. Your eyes slowly flutter open, and are greeted to the sight of Yanqing smiling at you fondly and gigglig at your rather sleepy state. "Good Morning." You could hear him saying.

He can see how your expression immediately changes, first confusion and then panic. "W-wait.. Did I doze off?! Oh no, oh dear, I'm sorry for troubling you! I'll return to work-" But Yanqing grabs your hand before you could even stand, theres a small silence for a moment, wind blowing through your hair as you stared into his eyes.

"Don't leave."

You want to protest, but Yanqing shakes his head before you can get another word out. "Worry not. The General allowed you to rest for a little while longer." He reassures you with a closed eye smile, the hold on your hand had no sign of letting go or allowing you to leave.

Grinning at your sigh of defeat, the boy moves a little so you may sit down next to him.

There's a few moments of silence, not exactly awkward but.. comforting. The feeling of gentle wind brushing against your skin, sounds of birds or leaves rustling, and the slow clouds passing by in the distance. You finally take a moment to appreciate everything going on around you, and maybe one of those things was the warmth that wrapped around your hand. How Yanqing's fingers intertwine with yours as he admires the very same things that you are, humming a gentle tune to hopefully soothe your stress away.

"You know.. I don't think I'm built for this line of work sometimes."

His head is quick to turn to you, though your gaze doesn't drift away from the sky up above.

"I dunno, sometimes I can take it and other times.."

You lay against the tree trunk, closing your eyes and take a deep breath.

"It feels like I'm drowning in a pool of my problems and getting dragged further down to the bottom."

He's not sure whether to comfort you with words or with actions, so he simply guides your head to lean down comfortably on his shoulder.

In time, if you'll ask for it, he'll tell you the words of comfort that he's sure you'll need to hear.

For now, he'll be quiet and listen to your problems that you've kept bottled up for far too long.

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[tubbytarchia]

jimmy stream watcher. have to reveal myself for image purposes. todays sos stream scott went to the end so jimmy said this vvv

then like 5 minutes later oli said he needed to take his anger out on someone and said hed probably go to find sausage and jimmy just went "or scott" (then they just shot each other)

first half made me :( second half made me agdsdggdsg lmao. All I can think about is how viciously Jimmy beat the shit out of Sausage in that one SOS stream. That was therapeutic to watch. He should smack Scott a little too. Jimmy deserves to start murdering people but that probably won't happen so he can just smack people instead. Him actually doing so or even joking about doing it is so beautiful. It brings a tear to my eye

Jimmy when he proclaims that he's not forgiven Scott... Jimmy when he can actually be a little devious for a change and not immediately be made out to be a complete joke... Jimmy when he, for a change, stops taking people's shit and starts SERVING shit.... He's being freed little by little I think. I'm happy for him. Keep going, my sweet cheese... In his last SOS episode he did also say "I owe people so many favors" though WHICH IS WRONG. YOU DONT OWE CRAP... It's a very slow uphill battle but we're getting somewhere... I have faith. Also as much as Scott deserves to get smacked, Jimmy asking him to be careful... auwgh. There's a lot I'd do to see them genuinely reconcile and be buddies (they kind of are in SOS and a select few other SMPs but as far as traffic goes...)

[depressedhangrybitch]

OK I have been waiting to talk about this for a while and now here it so. ..

THIS PISSES ME OFF TO THE CORE!!!!

I think we need to stop letting men in general to design costumes for women.

That's it.

And even if u do let men to be your costume designer. Do it with proper research.....

Because stuff like this happens.

Like what is the point of those costumes in justice league???

They don't serve any purpose except maybe make a fashion statement and demean Amazonian warriors by making them look incompetent.

Amazonian were great warriors and this....

speaks VOLUMES.....VOLUMES!!!!

That despite so many waves of Feminism emphasizing on female autonomy there are still cases of blatant female sexualization even in Hollywood and they are responsible for the American society as a whole...since what they show influences millions.

And they are demeaning history.

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HARLEY QUINN.

This resonated with me most because I myself realized this when I first watched birds of prey.

When I saw Harley in birds of prey I immediately began to compare her to suicide squad's harley and concluded that this one is ugly when in fact in contrast to the squad's Harley she is much more comfortable in her costume. This in turn made me realize that Beauvoir was right that we live so closely connected to our oppressors that we don't realize we are being oppressed.

I was seeing Harley from a male gaze rather than a female gaze.

This shocking realization made me look deep into myself and surprise....surprise

So many things were wrong with my perception.

I was so accustomed to looking at the world from a man's pov that I forgot that I have my own perspective.

I have sought to build my perspective since then and it's going well.

Honestly speaking I think some women may also agree with me.

Men or straight men in general should not be allowed to design costumes because they focus more on what pleases their eye rather look into project practically. These are some examples that I know.

I dont know how many are there that I am unaware of.

[kingcunny]

What do you think about Viserys and Alicent’s marriage in the show ?

like, its fine. i guess. it served the purpose they wanted it too. I GUESS.

like im. trying not to bitch here but. hotd alicent reminds me a lot of sansa when she was the lannisters prisoner and dany when she was married to drogo. i think they took a lot of inspiration from their early stories for her show character. problem is, young girls getting constantly smacked around is the Only part of the story they took inspiration from. when sansa is a prisoner in everything except words she still affects the storyline, she still does actions that ripple out across various characters. and she eventually grows from this character! she has development! ditto for dany

alicent doesnt have that though. shes so flat and underdeveloped and inconsistently written that its really hard for me to pull anything kind of inspiration for her character from the show. its hard for me to analyze any of her relationships or actions and be like ‘oh ali did this because of x’ ‘she said that because of y’, cause it is really and truly just delusions. none of her actions affect the story, theyre not even remembered by any character including her. she floats episode to episode disconnected from any larger storyline. and its not even like a meta commentary, even though they try to force that, it just feels like they dont know what to do with her character.

and like. how am i supposed to work with less than nothing.

i do like that rhaenyra is the constant unspoken third in their marriage, like how vis is for daemonxrhaenyra. but again, thats not about alicent.

i like the depiction of their marriage in like the two eps of s1 where alicent acted like ALICENT. but once those episodes where over it was all immediately forgotten and never referenced again.

[tonydaddingham]

Just whacking this out there, but I mean, much as I do think the "past exploits" comment serves as a warning about Heaven's rules/standards, and reach, and the fact that they've exposed Aziraphale's 'crimes' - sort of a 'you know what we expect from your conduct, and you've been continually stepping way out of line, and we're choosing to overlook it for now, but know that we know, and that we will know about future missteps as well, that we don't approve and could still intervene' flung out there for no immediate particular purpose, just to serve as a reminder - by and large, I find the whole restoration offer thing much more bribe than threat, and, well, frankly, personally, I'd consider a bribe of such proportions more concerning than any threat could have been, no?

hello lovely!!!💕 i think ive shared my thoughts on this in dribs and drabs over multiple posts but no harm in going over it again, fuck it-

essentially, i completely agree with you. splitting those two parts of the conversation into two, i definitely see the first part as a warning, and simultaneously an unspoken threat:

what particularly speaks to me is how the metatron hesitates over both 'previous exploits' and 'partnership', as if he's specifically searching for the right turns of phrase. trying to make light of it, keep it friendly and unassuming. but the small, smirky, private smiles, compared to aziraphale's reaction of flitting eyes and tight lips - it feels like metatron is playing a cat-and-mouse game... the guise of it being that it's all a great opportunity, but truthfully they both recognise the unspoken threat is there

(but - to clarify - i don't think the metatron realises that aziraphale has seen it as a threat. ie the metatron thinks he's being slicker than he actually is, when aziraphale is very much able to read between the lines).

i remember making the comparison in a meta somewhere but it just simply strikes me that - if we're continuing with the 'sleeper/secret agent in the height of the cold war' allegory - the metatron is playing the part of the seedy villain that is doing the 'i've been watching you all along, i know precisely what your pressure point is and why' bit that we all know and love from any kind of dramatised espionage story.

essentially, as you said, "we could still intervene" - ie. 'dont think that i haven't seen every single thing, because i have. i know how deep this 'partnership' runs'. there doesn't even need to be an allusion to what metatron could do with this breadth of knowledge - just simply that he has the knowledge is enough, and aziraphale can draw his own horrific conclusions quite easily, even if they never come to fruition.

(on an intertextual level, metatron kinda reminds me of how i'd imagine karla to be - from the john le carré novels... a little bit, idk.)

now as for the second part; the restoration thing:

i completely agree - this absolutely feels like a bribe. 'i know crowley is your pressure point, and you'll fight tooth and nail coming back without him in tow, so im going to offer it to you - this amazing opportunity that you can graciously bestow upon him! "go tell your friend the good news!"'

the metatron may well be disguising a threat in the exchange, but i do think that he believes aziraphale to have taken the offer to return to heaven at face value, in earnest, and therefore he believes that he has aziraphale squarely under his thumb (and none the wiser for it). however, i personally think aziraphale may be constructing his own hasty game - ie. using the offer as an opportunity to "make a difference" as he and crowley would see fit... but the spanner in the works was that crowley refuses to come with him to play on 'their side' in this little counter-game he's trying to devise.

in terms of functionality of bribe vs. threat - absolutely, a bribe promises a greater yield. threats only work so long as it's a) inescapable enough, b) serious enough, and c) the threatened person is sufficiently scared enough that they won't toe out of line. which may well be effective in getting someone to comply, but the problem with making people scared of you or hate you, is that then they all secretly want to see you ruined or destroyed.

bribe someone, however... give them something that they might have always wanted (or, as i think is the case for aziraphale - gives them the opportunity to give another what they've always wanted), and you have a greater chance of having an ally in them forever, someone forever indebted to you.

i definitely think this is where the metatron's reasoning lies. instead of threatening crowley's life, so to speak, he's offering him the chance essentially to defect - and that's way more appealing to aziraphale and likely to get him to fall in line.

for me though, it's all a gross underestimation of aziraphale on the metatron's part. i will die on the hill where aziraphale sees through what the metatron is saying - has indeed read between the lines where he doesn't have a choice one way or another - but chooses to play the part that the metatron expected him to play (of marginalised-angel who is actually the-very-kind-of-angel-heaven-needs, and therefore very-grateful-to-given-the-top-job-thank-you) so that the metatron will keep underestimating him. bribe or not, aziraphale did not want to go back to heaven... but if he doesn't have much of a choice regardless, he's going to make it work for him.

now this ask has led me to another thought: i do wonder if the restoration is actually a thing? ie. the metatron wasn't bluffing, it's actually possible.

the metatron is putting an awful lot of bank on crowley saying no, when by all accounts - even if the metatron was directly involved in crowley's fall - the metatron doesn't actually know him... right? he likely knows that crowley is resentful and angry still at having fallen, and the unfairness of the whole shebang, but does that guarantee that crowley wouldn't want to take the restoration offer? id hazard no - so the metatron has to have a failsafe for either eventuality.

either crowley says no, and aziraphale is left broken-hearted/rejected, and that suits metatron fine because then he has aziraphale ridden of crowley's influence. alternatively, crowley returns, and is restored!

...but is restored to the same position as he was when he fell - essentially like restoring a backed-up file where the last save point was ~millions of~ years ago... and that would suit metatron fine also, because then crowley is simply not crowley anymore. plausible deniability on the metatron's part too, for the latter option - 'restoration has never happened before, didn't know what to expect, but you've gotten what i promised you!' idk, interesting thought

[ratgrinders]

I’m not super into the fandom side of d20 but I do watch religiously so i dont know where to really ask this but what do other people think about the downtime mechanic? Earlier in the season I really liked it bc it felt like a good way to include a bunch of less critically important things in the narrative (like going to classes and extracurriculars) without it feeling like the narrative was dragging. But the last two downtime episodes have been deeply unsatisfying to watch bc the plot is so much bigger now and successful rolls can no longer be addressed as they happen and they have to be put off until we’re out of downtime, and so the episodes end up feeling like filler? I don’t I feel like it’s great Fabian and mazey went on a date but this episode really kind of ground to a halt any momentum the end of last weeks episode built for me.

Thanks for the ask!

Tbh while I enjoyed this latest session of downtime, I do kind of get what you're saying. Earlier sessions of downtime I thought worked really well as a way to have the Bad Kids move through the year in an organic way while also introducing a prioritization mechanic that I thought really fit with the theme this seasons of stress and responsibilities piling up. I think its natural though that since now we're moving in to the crux of the mystery and the climax of the story that we'd naturally expect an escalation and things moving very quickly rather than the slower pace downtime was made for.

I think Brennan removing the need for an academic track was his way of addressing this shift in priorities, since like he said now they have more time to devote to the mystery. And for what its worth most of the rolls made in this downtime were in service of this mystery, as even the relationship track rolls revealed new info about the plot.

i do think the downtime mechanic has served its purpose and won't be used for much longer anyways. If I had one minor note its that without the downtime mechanic the Bad Kids most likely would have immediately followed up on the Rat Grinders and their Mountains of Chaos trip, but we'll be getting that next episode anyway so I think this last bit of downtime was just to have the teacher evals (which I thought were really fun lol) and give space for any last relationship goals before heading in to the finale.

[malwaredykes]

one of the effects of Being Shot In The Head that took leigh a hot minute to realize is that she found herself pretty much unable to experience proper emotions. though she cant remember her old self very well, she thinks she used to be able to feel things like anger, joy, grief, terror. now she cant even imagine what those things felt like, and cant for the life of her describe them using her own words. its like being told to imagine&describe being unconscious, or being an inanimate object, or being a large group of people at once. what shes left with in terms of available emotional states is: a chronic underlying sense of dread/anxiety, nagging frustration, and brief smug satisfaction at solving a problem or figuring something out (something that feels like the unraveling of a painful knot in her head). and a lot of the aforementioned anxiety stems precisely from not feeling things she kind of senses she ought to be feeling. its like she can see the negative space, the void left where the "right" reaction/emotion ought to be, and she can kinda work with that, but it stresses her out (which in turn is more of a physical feeling than anything else). despite her general Umm Reason And Logic attitude she definitely does not devalue emotions--they serve a purpose, and while they can impair judgment, they can also enhance it, by keeping a person grounded and connected to other people, and by providing necessary shortcuts that make it so anything gets done. it worries her that she cant feel angry on somebody's behalf when she knows a grave injustice was done to them, she can't even feel angry or upset when somebody wrongs her, and she doesn't feel scared when faced with obvious immediate danger. once again she cant quite tell what she was like before being shot, how in-control she was of her emotions, how well she could relate to others, stuff like that. but as is obvious by now, shes very susceptible to overt self-scrutiny. as an ocd-haver. obviously a big part of her drug use is just self-medicating, though she doesnt think of it that way at all (which too is one of her many idiosyncrasies). hell she doesnt even quite laugh at things that are funny to her, shes just like. ooh thats funny, thats good. i think in all of that she forgets that joy missing from her life also affects her a lot. things just dont really make her happy. she's curious, she's determined, she can tell when something would make her happy or ought to make her happy, but the emotion just isn't there. in this way, having her love reciprocated doesnt even quite make a difference to her--which in itself isnt true, because of course it would; even if she cant feel happiness emotionally, being held and loved and cared for feels good on many levels, and since solving problems still feels good to her, well, not to get overly poetic but love (any love; platonic, romantic, etc) is a solution... no woman is an island. the fact that she can feel love and attachment despite everything, even though its very difficult for her to identify or admit to herself or comprehend, is proof enough. leigh, you love your friends... yes, how it feels to her is the reasonable efforts to work together, to look out for each other, to satisfy biological human instincts for interactions and companionship, and to use ones influence in somebody else's life to improve it as much as possible, because improving things is an Essential Rule. which, all of the above is honestly kind of funny when actually described, cuz like, wow leigh you sure love to overthink things. miss r/iamverysmart. but she is kind of lost! she can still see and feel those negative spaces, those missing pieces, theyre all over the place. as is the mental fog, the hallucinations, the occasional seizures. some part of her sense of self was ripped away from her and she doesnt even know how to feel angry at the guy who did it.