#even if it's been a while since i've listened to balance these characters still have my heart

[s1i9d]

I hope you don't mind, but now that I've finally found someone who's listening to Magnus Protocol but hasn't listened to Magnus Archives I will be studying you like a bug under a magnifying glass. I've been dying to know how the show hits from a non archives perspective. So in that vein, if you don't mind me questioning you, what are your overall thoughts on the show so far? Also what's it like seeing the fandom response from people who have listened to archives? Have you been successful in avoiding spoilers?

Honestly I’ve been loving Protocol.

I’m not 100% sure what to translate since I don’t know what Archives context I’m missing, but I can try to tell you what I really like about Protocol.

I really do love the format of Protocol. It’s mostly an office drama story, which on its own is appealing, but the statements from FR3-D1 put in each episode gives the story this underlying horror aspect to it. So when I listen to an episode, often times if the statement portion feels lacking, the office drama really brings up the episode and the vice versa.

Then things start to get a lot more creepier when the two intersect (The Magnus Institute, Mr. Bonzo, Lady Mowbray, the Drowning Victim, the Archivist, etc.) and by this point in the story, we’re so close to having a full merge.

Since this is my first real dive into horror podcasts, I do want to engage with the fan community, but it’s hard to balance being spoiler-free at the same time. I do know some general spoilers that I haven’t updated in a while, but is mostly still accurate. I don’t know what an Archivist is, but I am aware that AU versions of Archives characters have made their debut here.

I am aware that Protocol is going a lot faster than Archives. From what I understand of Archives, it has a lot more slow build up rather than Protocol which I has a pretty good pace. Might be because Protocol has less than half the episodes as Archives.

It’s really interesting how the fandom keeps losing their minds over stuff that I’m just like “yeah cool let’s see where that goes”. Like E26 where the Archivist was named, I felt like I took on the perspective of Alice/Gwen/Sam where I’m like “okay… and this means what?” while the rest of the fandom is taking the Celia perspective of “OH NO”.

Or even this recent episode where this Minister Trevor Herbert dude was. Like I have no idea what this dude is and why everyone is absolutely screaming, crying, throwing up that he’s here, and that is fascinating.

It’s been pretty interesting when I bring up something that felt weird or off that just went nowhere, and my friends revealing some info. I’m like “WHAT” and they’re just like “oh thats not common knowledge?” And I’m just there like “huh?!?” Which turns out, the Hilltop Centre was actually important.

I mostly wish the fandom would tag archives spoilers with #tma /#the Magnus archives / #tma vague just so that spoilers could be tagged a little bit better, but to be fair I am one of the rare people that doesn’t intersect the Venn diagram between archives and protocol.

But overall, I really am loving Protocol. I don’t know when I’ll listen to Archives (probably after Protocol’s three seasons are over) but I will listen to it eventually. Feel free to send more asks my way.

[accidental-apocalypse]

I'll bite.

I need to know about the red string conspiracy doc.

Sounds very fun

I have been WAITING for this. Get ready for the combined brainrot of @alice-apparently and I, you poor soul. Now, listen up, 'cause we’ve got a labrynthine twisted task of a tale to tell, and if you don’t keep up, you might get lost :)

And obviously: spoilers for tmagp. don't keep reading if you're behind 🫵🏼

First things first: anyone currently descending into paranoia? we're already there, poster children of paranoia-land, that's us. May I present the title of the wonderful conspiracy doc -

There's also a TMA conspiracy doc Ali made, fully colour- episode- and entity-coordinated. It's like 24k words and not even fully done. don't worry about it.

Which is why we're going to be super normal and low-key about the Protocol red string doc right?

of course.

As you can see above, our collaboration relies on Ali's colour coding and her making nice, structured observations of possibly important things, while I provide the Latin and cheer her on. Balance is important in a marriage.

Also included in this all-round package: character info, quotes, etc.

I've since moved on from my "Gwen is evil" theory because I simply love socially awkward, abrasive characters who are good at their job a little too much (nervously shuffles Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, further behind my back). Still the hottest bitch at the OIAR, don't @ me.

Also also, in this house we love Alice Dyer and don't trust her any further than we can throw her. what is UP with all your comments Alice? What do you know???

Anyway.

But Ames, you say, didn't you promise quotes? I did, and I'll do you one better: tmagp quotes with additional obnoxious commentary from yours truly and Ali

If you'd like to see Ali lose her shit over the red canary implications (which I fully support), hop over to her tumblr @alice-apparently and give it a read. It's delightful.

Right. Moving on from the random screenshots. Basic outline of part one of the paranoia board is a section for every episode. Ali is listening to ep7 as I write this and having a great time (not), so there's not much in the ep7 section, except for this:

Thoughts and prayers, love, thoughts and prayers.

And FINALLY, my favourite section.

This is the speculation part, time line puzzle and colour coding reference, but my current favourite is this:

She's trying to reverse-engineer the case coding in tmagp, a noble cause. Godspeed, Ali, bc that is too many numbers for my silly little brain. I only excel at criticising stupid horror protagonists aka Personal Screening:

That's all for now.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and to send you all off, one last silly comment from me to you and the universe:

Bye!

[saccharinemeat]

I'm sorry but HOW do you find sodapack to be worse than lairy??

Oh anon, you've opened a Pandora's box.

Let's go through it in parts,shall we?

First, Why people consider lairy to be 'bad'?

From what I've seen, it's often mostly based around the fact that Airy himself had Liam trapped on the Plane, and it can be considered that Airy has an inherent abusive dynamic with Liam because of this. This is the major one,since Airy doesn't show any animosity, negative or positive towards Liam immediately. He didn't pick Liam out of malice,or abuse,or anything. It just was coincidence,and he wanted them to play the game,but didn't punish him for not playing. Even stuff like the drowning is shown to be unintentional or at least, Airy himself doesn't seem to consider it a punishment. When it was time for Liam to be returned home after the 5 month period, Airy did so without major hesitation, it's not like he wanted to keep Liam more than wny of the other contestants.

Second, why is sodapack seen as wholesome?

No, seriously. Liam and Bryce are mostly friendly and amicable within the game, especially while Amelia was still involved,and after they are placed on the same team along with Texty and Stone but without Amelia, Bryce becomes quite less responsive and sort of gives up on trying to communicate with Liam, he is mentally checked out. At this point, it's more of a traumatic bond than it is a deeper friendship. The later development,which i will comment on, is mostly driven through Liam pushing Bryce,and Bryce only ever says hes glad they went through it way past the point of no return. There's implications that this is how Bryce just deals with things,he tries to see them as 'for the best' to compartmentalize them. Same as never mentioning Stella, same as deciding that his life post-plane was better. Bryce is not particularly attached to Liam on his own volition.

Third, fandom blindness

Okay,this part is where I criticize the fandom. So here it goes: At this point, the fanon versions of Liam and Bryce are forcefully fit into what you (general you) want them to be,rather than actually acknowledging them as they are. ONE's characters are all morally grey,however the interactions within themselves are more or less harmful depending on intention or disregard of care at an interpersonal level.

Let's look at 'fanon' liam,for example

fanon!Liam is:

kind

awkward

romantically interested in Bryce

trying to save the others

traumatized

non violent

caring for the fellow objects still in the Plane

Canon!Liam however is...

Obsessive

Manipulative

Doesn't care about Bryce's trauma

Selfish, wants to solve this mystery because he feels his life got ruined

Uses Bryce's guilt to make him go along with things

Traumatized

He's considerably violent

My point here is that the fandom has a particularly skewed vision of both Liam and Bryce and their friendship

Fourth, Intentional Harm

In the case of sodapack, let's see how these awful behaviors are spread or balanced within canon. Liam's bad or harmful actions toward the other in green, Bryce's are in red

Liam seeks the unknown address,and hitchhikes his way over there, fully on impulse.

↓

Once he sees Bryce's terrified reaction, he insists on having him open the door. He starts by explaining why hes here but starts getting mad, accusing Bryce of ignoring or not caring for the other contestants

↓

Liam yells about how bad things were for him in the 7 month period,drawing a comparison of how 'easy' it must have been for Bryce to forget it,guilting him.

↓

Liam walks away....and comes right back,instead deciding to sleep against Bryce's door,effectively trapping Bryce and making it so he can't leave his apartment or home at all.

↓

Bryce lets him in and states his boundaries about listening Liam out and giving him Bradley's address.

↓

Liam IMMEDIATELY manipulates him into driving them to Bradley's house. Bryce pays for the laptop,too.

↓

Bryce states his boundaries AGAIN and Liam insists until Bryce breaks and agrees to seek Oscar. At no point Liam has even TRIED to learn Bryce's name,he gets told his name on the drive there, Bryce is clearly uncomfortable with his game name.

↓

Bryce helps get some information out of Oscar and PAYS HIM for his time,which Liam didn't even consider. Also he does this without reviving Oscar's possibly traumatic memories,which Liam was willing to do and hadn't been considerate of the other's mental health

↓

Bryce,AGAIN states his boundaries,and tells Liam that he is NOT driving him to the smokestack. Liam says he understands.

↓

And immediately steals AND CRASHES the car. has a fight with Bryce,holds the car keys hostage,and calls Bryce 'soda bottle' during the fight. Bryce calls Liam out on doing this out of selfishness,and hits him.

And as an extra:

Liam couldn't have not noticed that Bryce said the waiting room looked like his childhood neighborhood/Bryce trying to reach Stella. He just didn't care enough.

Liam got himself and Bryce killed several times during this ordeal.

Bryce let Liam stay in his home out of guilt,not kindness.

Through all of these interactions, there's not an ounce of balance, it's mostly Liam doing shit to fuck up Bryce's attempt to return to normalcy,and Bryce doing mostly emotiona self-harming

Now, let's look at Lairy,and how Liam and Airy interact in terms of intentional harm

Liam in green, Airy in blue

Airy picks Liam as a contestant for ONE,at random

↓

Liam freaks out and breaks a leg during the challenge

↓

Airy forgets about Liam's cast and accidentally drowns him during another challenge

↓

Airy disappears for the 7 month period,then sends Liam back to san Francisco

So far,none of this is intentional harm. Let's jump forward to their out-of-game interactions

Liam pushes Airy out his chair and yells at him,trying to hit him, upset.

↓

Airy remains polite and a little confused and explains why he can't do that yet

↓

Liam talks to texty,and refuses to consider killing Airy

↓

Liam Negotiates with Airy

↓

Liam falls and loses his belongings, Airy attempted to hold him from falling

↓

After Liam does attempt to kill Airy,a tree breaks his leg, and Airy makes him a wooden cast,and a bed of reeds.

As it's visible, there's almost no intentional harm from Airy to Liam,and even the murder attempts from Liam to Airy are mild at best.

Fifth, Intentional Kindness

I'll keep this shorter,but, Bryce,once he meets Liam again back on Earth, doesn't show kindness to him unprompted at all. It's always guided through Liam's manipulation and behavior. He let's Liam in because Liam had him physically trapped. He goes along because Liam insists and guilts him. He helps get information out of Oscar and keeps it vague for OSCAR'S SAKE NOT LIAM'S,because he doesn't want to do to others what liam is currently doing to him.

He gets on the smokestack to ask for his keys back. Not a single act of kindness is unprompted. Bryce is a better person than Liam,and he falls for Liam's controlling behavior and struggles to say no.

Now, Airy is... tough,just as morally grey, Airy truly believes he's doing his best,and he has no animosity for actually hurting others,not even Liam. Not even when Liam is trying to Kill him. Airy, unprompted, makes Liam a reed bed,attempts to save liam from the fall, makes Liam a cast after his accident,and is generally open about his backstory to Liam. Airy has been alone 10 years,only with the plane and it's contestants for fun,trying to do something relatively harmless,and he is willing to send everyone home in exchange for the cassete player and because Liam asked and negotiated. He's happy to have Liam around. And Liam mourns Airy's death,too. He looks horrified when Airy speaks of how he was trying his best,and how his life was beforehand. There's even a hint of Liam basically becoming the next one to fill Airy's role at the end. He seems to understand this deep loneliness,and hears Airy out. Liam can resonate with someone he called a monster especially when in retrospective, Liam himself is more of a bad person than Airy is. Airy just,lost part of his mind in the process,but he stays kind. He could've killed Liam. with the computer,leave HIM in the waiting room,forever.

So... yeah

in the big picture, Airy is just a guy whos trying his best after then years of loneliness,and tried to do something that's morally abhorrent but without intention of harming anyone as long as it could be undone. He's not harmful or a threat to Liam,or at least,not more than Liam is a threat to him. It's sad,and doomed,and balanced

And Bryce is a poor traumatized man who got forced into doing stuff he never wanted to do,ans to relieve trauma he never wanted to relieve,just to be thrown back into the plane,for no reason,just to be trapped in a looping hell. He fears or at least really dislikes the way Liam manipulates him,and stays in denial about it. And Bryce is not a threat to Liam,in any way, other than Liam making Bryce responsible for his life as long as this own.

I think that's all i got in me,at least right now

[red-panda-28]

Writing Self-Evaluation 2024

thank you @haztobegood for tagging me! (also, since i'm also a Podficcer, this isn't solely about writing and has some podfic stuff mixed into it)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 100! (as of today)

2. Word count posted for the year: 44,393 (plus 441 minutes in Podfics)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction (Band), Deadpool (All Media Types), Spider-Man (All Media Types), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

4. Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

5. Story with the most: Kudos: tingling right from my head to my toes Bookmarks: Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before) Comments: Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i think it's actually tingling right from my head to my toes. i dug around my blog and found 'Writing Goals 2024' and one was to write for other fandoms (again). it took me almost all year, but i managed it!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): in some ways, i'm proud of all my works and thankful how they shaped me in their own way.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received: this is not a specific review but i've had a couple people by now tell me how much they enjoy listening to my podfics (and how they find my voice soothing). that really means a lot and i'm happy people get that enjoyment out of my recordings

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: basically all year. i've been struggling a lot with writer's block and even though i was writing and posting, it felt like i lost my Spark™️.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing Logan (Worst Wolverine). beginning of the year i didn't even imagine to ever write Wade in another pairing besides SpideyPool but then i watched Deadpool & Wolverine and here we are XD

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing: this is from my fic for the @1daroaceficfest which i hold very close to my heart. i kinda hope that maybe some people remember that :)

“Not that it concerns anyone,” he started, a hard set to his mouth. “And I would really wish that people would start seeing actors as people and not just objects used like props in a film.” Harry took a deep breath, outwardly oddly calm for the way his heart was racing in the face of what he was about to do. “Furthermore, I’d like to remind everyone that some people don’t have sex. And while there can be different reasons for that, that only they and the people they choose to tell are privy to, in my case, it is because I am asexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction. And while I feel rather neutral towards sex, I still don’t have it. It’s just something I don’t experience. So please, the next time you want to ask someone about their sex life, stop for a second and ask yourself, do I really need to know this information, or am I just nosy? And then hopefully make the right decision.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: i like to think i kept a nice balance between trying to overcome my writer's block while also not forcing anything... and eventually found my Spark™️ again. i also got back into the SpideyPool/Marvel Fandom for which i ended up writing 3 fics.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: i really wanna try keep my Spark™️ and maybe even make it grow. also, i hope to actually plan out/write a longer fic again; i have so many amazing prompts that can't and don't deserve to get squeezed into 10K.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): massive, massive thanks goes to @harruandlou who patiently listened to me whine about my WB, kept encouraging me and celebrated with me, when i got back into the swing of things (and who supported me in pursues as a Podficcer!). i also wanna give a huge shout out to the Isn't It Bromantic? server and all those amazing people there (representative: @farmhandler @waterme-stories @babyboysnek)

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: i don't think so? at least nothing i can think of top of my head...

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: don't force anything. (especially in fanfic) writing is supposed to be fun. it's okay to take a break, focus on other hobbies for a while and every now and then poke at your brain to see if the motivation came back.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: as of right now, the only project i'm excited for is hosting the @1daroaceficfest for a second round!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

tagging with no pressure (if you already did this, sorry and feel free to tag me so i can read it!): @lululawrence @harruandlou @lunarheslwt @enchantedlandcoffee @the-larry-way @parmahamlarrie

[imagineitdearies]

I am curious, was there any point in Perfect Slaughter where the story or characters developed in ways you hadn't planned?

Your writing is amazing, I love them so much your honor ❤️

Hey anon!! Thanks for this lovely ask, sorry for the wait 🩵 (holiday season, amirite?)

For most of my life I've been a 'pantser/discovery writer,' even if I've found a good balance now with both discovering and planning my stories--and one major way I still keep my options open for myself is the characterizations. So there were plenty of times all of the characters in Perfect Slaughter surprised me! But here are a few highlights:

Chatterteeth

Plot-wise, I included Chatterteeth in my outline as a heralder of the 'Command Undead' class feature Tyrus would level up and gain just before the climax; beyond that I didn't really know how much importance I wanted to give her. It wasn't until writing Part III that I thought more deeply about her motivations beyond simply wanting to end the Szarr legacy as well. A lot of it I didn't have the justification to dive into during the story itself (if you haven't read my little one-shot in her POV, I did get a chance then!), but it changed a lot.

For one--that she protests a lot more about Tyrus's controlling treatment of her. While this doesn't change the plot points, I think it did change the narrative and how readers experience Part III with Tyrus's corruption. A bit less cheering him on, and a few more reminders thanks to our skelly grandma that Tyrus is Not Being A Good Person.

Also, my plans had just been for Chatterteeth to be merely surprised at Tyrus's growing power during their trap-setting, then let him know about 'Command Undead' being a potential option. With how I began to write her, however, I realized it was a power she didn't know if she trusted him to disclose about even once she realized he might be capable. Which meant it gets revealed later than I planned, but in a way that hopefully emphasizes the gravity of Tyrus's choice at the end to only use it to give Astarion freedom, not take control of the final outcome. Adding how worried she is that he will choose control and power over love, hopefully raises the stake for the reader too. (Oh, and all this made her death quite a bit sadder 🥲)

Cazador

I unfortunately know Cazador's type all too well, and knowing what his thoughts and plans were behind the scenes was really important to make the set-up of this story work (i.e., use love against people until whoops, turns out it isn't a weakness like you thought). That being said, he gave me a big surprise in Part III when he bargains with Tyrus to keep Astarion around. I think it was right after the rune carving and sexual assault scene in ch32, that it suddenly came to me that he might want Astarion for his own selfish sake. And though it is a divergence from canon-Cazador's sentiments at the end of bg3, I justified that Astarion is on better terms (sadly) with him to protect Tyrus. (Plus, maybe Cazador would have been able to use Dufay in canon since he's also gotten his hands dirty/bound himself to the sacrificial spawn 'by blood' in some sense, if not for Doofie killing himself of course.)

Astarion

Astarion is such a well-fleshed out character thanks to bg3, the amount of voice lines I've listened to (many of them over and over), my god!! While I tried to stay as close and true to his canon counterpart as possible, PS!Astarion grew to have a lot of quirks I can only count as headcanons: his relationship with simple pain being worse than other abuses, his knowledge of the true vampire traits from Cazador and resultant avoidance of using the term 'love/I love you' in fear of being weak. On that note, I didn't really know when he'd say the big ILY to Tyrus, just that it would be sometime at the very end of Part II. He really held out on me with that, not admitting until the very last chapter while half-delirious with pain 💀😂

Tyrus

Tyrus surprised me the least--I know this boy like the back of my hand. I will say, he did initiate sex a lot more often than I initially planned for 😂 I swear that's half the reason I had to keep adding chapters to Part III! It's true to life though that demisexuals often do feel sexual desire, it just takes longer and a very strong bond with the right partner 🩵

Oh man, I miss him--I still want to write a one-shot at least every month, so hopefully I can squeeze one in during the holidays!!

[pochiperpe90]

[ENG] DISUNITI - Interview to Luca Marinelli by Gianmaria Tammaro

When choosing a role, Luca Marinelli lets himself be guided by instinct. He tries to listen to what his insides are telling him and to give a precise shape to his intentions. He doesn't move blindly;  he moves slowly, with the same awareness of someone who knows his work, even instinctively. It's useful for him, he tells me, to stay in touch with the story, with what he tells. Because that way he can become part of it. A character, until the last stop is called, never leaves; it's like a second skin, and he's there, docile, waiting, ready to come out. Luca has a deep and low voice. These days, while he's filming M. Son of the Century, he has freshly shaved cheeks and a cap that is always pulled down on his head, to hide his hair and forehead. The smile and the look, however, are the same as always.  Kind the former, intelligent the latter. When he speaks, he takes his knees in his hands, tries to collect himself, to compact himself into a single point. Not to limit the occupied space: but to find a center. We are in a park, in the late afternoon light, and a light wind is blowing. It had been a long time, Luca confesses to me, that he hadn't spent such a long period in Rome. In 2012 he moved to Berlin, and since then he has returned to Italy only for work reasons. "I've been in town since last spring, I think."

When you filmed the sequel of The Old Guard.

 "Yes, exactly. And now I'm working on this series".

 How did you find Rome?

"It's a question that, I confess, I don't quite know how to answer. I found Rome wonderful as always. And at the same time I felt tired. It's a beautiful city, and every time I have the opportunity to discover it more. Especially when I ride. And then I must tell you that I found her changed. Some neighborhoods aren't as I remembered them anymore, and that's okay: that's what happens to everyone, I guess; let's change".

When you will be finished shooting M., will you go back to Berlin?  

"Yes".

Why? Do you prefer it?  

"But no, it's not a question of preferring one city to another. Also in Berlin there is a fundamental part of my heart and a different dimension of life, just as important".

And does this diversity matter?

"Right now I feel like I have two houses, and it's nice. I feel at home both here and in Berlin. It took some time to reach this balance, I won't hide it from you. But now I'm really fine. Berlin is another dimension; it's not Germany. Berlin is Berlin, it's almost a place apart. I love his tranquility and his energy. When I'm in Rome, I feel a different kind of energy".

Tell me.

"There is a need to give oneself fully, to give oneself completely, when one plays a part or does something; but there is also a need to know how to withdraw in order to find one's own space. It's used to recharge. To fill again this container that is within us. Because when you work, you give everything. Everything is given. And you can come out of an experience exhausted. I say always that I don't get tired. But at some point, willy-nilly, fatigue still comes. Anyone who plays football has ninety minutes in his legs, he trains for that. When he goes too far, he risks overdoing it. So yes: it's important to stop and do something else, just to enrich yourself before the next project".

I imagine the type of preparation also changes

"Each project is completely different from the other: from the one that preceded it, and from the one that will follow it. The dynamics are the same, yes, because the set works, more or less, in the same way. But every experience is a different experience. And the city in which it's filmed has nothing to do with it; it's not just geography. There is more: much, much more".

What is your method as an actor? Indeed, I take a step back: you have your method?  

"I don't know. So, instinctively, I'd say no, I don't have it. Which doesn't exist. I've always had pretty much the same approach; and I modified this approach depending on the project and individual experience. Sometimes, over the years, I felt that I didn't do what I wanted to do in exactly the way I had imagined it; and then later, subsequently, I tried to improve. Keeping in touch with the reality of what we tell is something that helps me a lot".

Why?

"I can't tell you. I could foolishly answer you: "because I'm close to the story". But actually I think it's something else. It's like there's a smarter part inside of me. And it's this part that intervenes at a certain point, that understands what to do and that guides me".

Maybe it's instinct.

"I don't know. I tend not to ask. I tend not to compliment myself, or even see myself in a totally positive way. I'm not saying this out of false modesty or because I love to despair, no. I feel this is my approach: I need training, closeness to the thing we have to tell; and sometimes this closeness must also be on a physical level. Only later do I venture further in the project".

Why did you decide to play Mussolini?

"Well, I can't talk about that. Not at all. Let's take up this question again at another time."

Sure. Alessandro Borghi told me that you are like two brothers, that he's happy if you are happy. How would you describe your relationship?

“In a very similar way. I'm happy too if he's happy. I'm fortunate to have a group of very close friends: people I consider brothers and sisters and who, in some cases, I have known for more than thirty years. And Alessandro is part of this group. Every time we've worked together, we've talked about friendship. A friendship, precise, very strong. And next time too, the third time, we'll talk about a friendship: I'm sure of it. Indeed, I hope so. We meet again years later, with a greater awareness and maturity, because in the meantime we have grown up, and we face the same theme again: it's a wonderful thing".

Alessandro also told me that you are very different.

"It's true, we are. But that's also, I think, the beauty of friendship. Being different and still being able to find each other and be together".

Are you a rational or instinctive person?

“If Alissa heard you, she'd laugh…Look, I don't know. I don't think rational. In my head, I tend to get into a lot of trouble. If we talk about a project, I give weight to the first sensation I feel in this area here, from the neck down. And I have to say I have never been disappointed. Sometimes an immediate, definitive sensation came. Other times, however, I convinced myself and I totally trusted others". 

Has this trust ever been betrayed?

"From a film, you mean?"

From a film, a director or a fellow actor.

"No. Never betrayed. A project always has its own direction, and you must learn to follow that direction. Obviously, then, you too give it colors and a part of yourself. Bet on falling in love with someone else, and eventually you too fall in love. You rely on a director, you know a group of people who act with you. But if you get used to giving so much, you start to feel the urge to risk even more with something of your own".

So would you like to direct a film? 

"In general, not just at the cinema. Writing or directing, yes. I think about it every now and then. And in effect, a theater project already exists in the near future".

Does the anxiety of the set, of a new project, pass after a while?

"At some point yes, it passes. But I always see it that way. There are projects where it takes me less time and others where it takes me longer to ignore this anxiety. Or maybe it's not like that: because you always stay in character. It can happen that you completely abandon yourself to one thing before, turning off your brain. Or it may happen to succeed later. It's essential to trust yourself, and I say this first of all to myself. At the Academy I had a great teacher, Paolo Giuranna, who said: "trust the work you've done up to now; when you enter the scene, it's a blank page"".

How important was the Academy experience to you?

"Very. They have been three full and intense years. At the beginning I had a different vision of this profession, and then, being with others, with my class, I managed to find a more concrete dimension for what I had in mind. I remember the fire of that period, the passion. It's still there, sure. But now it needs to be fed. Before, however, it burned almost by itself. Instantly".

In some ways, you're talking about what it's like to be young.

"Yes, but also of not having experienced first-hand what it means to do this job. There is a substantial difference between working out and starting to play sports seriously. When you play sports, you understand that you have to deal not only with what you have learned but also with many other factors".

What relationship do you have with time? 

"I don't want to say trivial things... But time passes, and it also passes with a fair ease. It doesn't wait for you. He's not watching you. It would be nice to be able to live each day as if it was a lifetime. As if it was extremely important. To quote Thoreau: "As if one could kill time without hurting eternity." For heaven's sake: I spend whole days sitting, doing nothing, because mi pesa il culo (I'm a lazy ass)... (laughs, ed). But even that helps: do nothing, look around and don't box yourself in a phone. To stay. Simply. Throwing away some time makes me appreciate its value".

Even boredom has a purpose, in short.

“Boredom is interesting. It's curious. I get bored a little because I always try to do something - even here, perhaps, my wife would laugh. But I try, and I really try, to do something. Since adolescence, when I don't know what to do, I go out and about. When I read The Walk, I found this wonderful idea of ​​walking and learning to see what the world has to offer."

What is your relationship with Alissa?

"She's the person with whom I would like to share so much of this time, and I'm sorry when I can't: when I'm not enough with her and with our children. If I put time near her, to them, if I use them as a parameter of judgment, I wish I had more and more. It's never enough for me. I love sharing."

What are you afraid of now? 

"Fear is a strange word; a word that after meeting Claudio Caligari I tried to use less and less. I usually replace it with concern. Fear is something that makes you stop, and I learned from Claudio that it doesn't make much sense. You always have to keep fear at bay."

What worries you, then? 

"Maybe just the passing of time, because it holds together an infinity of speeches and aspects. I worry about not giving due importance to individual moments".

How do you experience success? I mean: what follows you is an extremely passionate audience. What kind of bond unites you with the viewers?

“This thing you're telling me excites me. As you know, I don't use social media. So I don't have a clear view of what's going on. And knowing that makes me happy. Above all, it makes me happy to be able to give something back to others and excite them. If I'm shy, it's because I've always been shy. Social media can be useful. They connect many people with little; think of all the protests that exist today and that start right from social networks. Being able to share a testimony with the whole world is important. But I can't do it: said exactly like that, in the Roman way. I can't use them. I get excited when I meet people: when they ask me a question, they tell me what they thought about a film. They are crazy moments, that shake you. It's what, at times, drives me to give more, to commit myself to the maximum".

You mentioned Claudio Caligari earlier. What other encounters in your career have influenced you so much?

"The meeting with Carlo Cecchi was very important, whom I met again, with my great pleasure, also on the set of Martin Eden: master in life and work. When I have a professional concern, I always want to call him. Sometimes I had, and he answered me with passion and sincerity. During the period of the Academy there were several important meetings, like the one with Anna Marchesini. In recent years, I have met many directors, actresses and actors with whom I have shared the set. And then, even if it sounds silly, there was the meeting with myself".

In what sense?

"Several times, over time, I felt the need to stop and refocus, to understand who I was and what I wanted. And so yes, I ended up meeting the many people I've been and who still live here; and I learned to know them all, more or less. This is also important: understanding where we are and how we got there. When I had dialogues with myself, I changed direction or went on, on the path I had taken".

If you could go back in time and give you one piece of advice - before you entered the Academy; when the fire was still alive, and burning on its own - what advice would you give yourself? 

"Go calmly. Listen. And listen to yourself. Have fun; have more fun. Smile. Enjoy everything; trust yourself".

I ask you the last question. Who is the actor?

"...what?"

Who is the actor?

"Someone who, trivially, feels he wants to communicate something, and communicates it. Someone who enacts a thought they've had or an emotion they've felt. Someone who is aware, hopefully, of all the possible consequences."

Like always, sorry for my English

[floripire]

i wrote a whole tag rant beneath that other post (apologies, op!) so i figured i'll just drop it here too for posterity and also because it's probably better on the eyes.

i've been here since 2012 and while it's always been a thing - it's never been so blatant to me until now, until this year - that a lot of writers (though i am very glad it's not all of them) prioritize their white characters (male and female) over characters of color, subconsciously i believe, even while writing with them.

and don't get me wrong, it's not like i want one set of characters to be prioritized over another because - biases that one has to work through aside - everyone has their preferences and characters they graviate towards and that's okay.

but i once had a white male oc come into my other oc's askbox (for context: my other oc is also an asian woman) with an ask in which he was having a breakdown and while they were friendly-ish or friend-adjacent, in it there was almost an unspoken expectation for her to do that emotional labor - to listen and soothe him and provide pearls of wisdom for him.

to this day that ask still stays with me because it makes me wonder: is that how you (general you*) see my characters? not as full fledged and fully realized but just there to be overshadowed and service your (white) character and provide what they need rather than creating a balanced dynamic in which both parties grow and change for the better alongside each other?

how do i make it so that my characters are seen and respected? (how do i make it so that i am seen and respected? so that all the effort i put into my characters goes acknowledged?)

i spoke about it before on another blog of mine too. i don't quite know what to do with it and how to go about fixing it. it's like that moment when you realize that you've never quite seen yourself represented on screen before, for instance. and once you know that, you can't unknow it. this is kind of like that too.

tl;dr: it's not just about female ocs. it's inherently also about ocs of color. it's not just about internalized misogyny and sexism, it's also about (internalized) racism.

*this is not about my friends across the board / across all my blogs because i know who you are and what your values are xoxoxo!

[yardsards]

reading the things you post/rb while not knowing what the adventure zone is is kinda funny. I'll be scrolling my dash and see "NAH 'CAUSE BEANIEMAN GOT SO SCHLORPED WHEN THE PIANO FLAVORED STICK OF DEODERANT GOT SCAMMED" and I'm so tempted to get context, but it feels like life would be funnier without it

okay so like. the adventure zone is an actual-play ttrpg podcast (aka they record themselves playing dungeons and dragons and similar games and then edit down the recording so it's fun to listen to)

and it's kind of like 5+ different podcasts in a trenchcoat. cuz there's 5 completely separate games (well, 5 plus a couple way shorter games, but 5 main ones). and since each game is already pretty wild on its own, the fact that there are FIVE OF THEM definitely makes it sound extra bizarre to outsiders lol

there's:

1: balance: a standard fantasy world with some minor sci-fi elements. it's about heroes tracking down and neutralizing dangerous magical items and uncovering secrets about their own pasts. by far the most popular season and imo the best, but it gets off to a slow start

2: amnesty: a story about cryptids and magic in a modern day appalachian setting. been a while since i listened to this one tbh and i don't talk about it as much

3: graduation: young adults going to magic college and getting wrapped up in a demon war. this is the least popular one but not actually bad imo

4: ethersea: freelance adventurers from an undersea city exploring the world in a magical post-apocalyptic setting. my fav behind balance

5: steeplechase: like a defunctland video meets a heist movie, secret crime rings operating within a theme park. very fun, still in progress

they're released kind of like different seasons of a show, one after the other, but each "season" doesn't actually need to be listened to in order (ie you can listen to steeplechase before balance, but you'd have to start at ep 1 of steeplechase and not just skip to steeplechase ep 32 or else you'd be really confused)

honestly i've been halfway considering getting different tags for each game but i'm too lazy to change now

ANYWAY

the thing about the adventure zone is that it's a *comedy* podcast first and foremost. so most of the weird bizarre funny bits are just as funny and batshit insane even WITH context. hell, i'd say a lot of it is even MORE funny if you know what's going on.

though there is also some buckwild shit that you just get desensitized to. like one of the 3 protagonists of balance is named *taco* (but spelled taako) because it was originally just gonna be a silly one-off episode, so the player was like "haha i'm gonna be XD random and annoy my dm with this zany noun name", not knowing that there were gonna be 68 more episodes and it would eventually grow into a deeply emotionally moving story. so by the end you're fucking sobbing over this character's love and loss and you forget that "taco" is not a normal thing for an elf/wizard to be called

it's absolutely delightful

[sadhornydemons]

How are my fellow Stolitz fans doing?

I'm shockingly, okay. I was convinced the lack of a happy ending to the last episode might lead to a bummer of a summer (8 years later, the spoiler-caused ouat meltdown of the summer of 16 still lays heavy on my mind). But...haters be damned, I enjoyed the writing, the character arcs, and I have to admit, it might be too soon for everything to be fine. And, strangely, things seem better than after Full Moon. We've gotten COMMUNICATION. Messy, shouting, crying, misfires, but most importantly: further dialogue. We gotten drunken Stolas and jealous Blitz.

Have I watched either episode completely since they aired? HELL NO! Have I been able to listen to "All 2 U" more than once, despite adding it to my music? NOT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON. For that, I'll need my happy ending. I know my limits.

For now, when I think of the show, I seem to have gone back into the safe fantasy mode:

but I really should stop speculating about future episodes because:

A) I've been wrong 90% of the time. And

B) I end up creating WAY too depressing scenarios in my head. And even though the show can bring the tears, it usually carries a good balance of staying on the humorous side. (see part A, and cue the Crowley wrong dance gif, because up until this point (bite tongue) it's never been as bad as I thought it would be.)

Nope, until Halloween (we all know we ain't getting the new episode until around the 31st), I'll try to mainly focus on the ghost of fan fiction past:

that and some spoilers. Whatever can get me through another hiatus while hopefully trying to keep my enthusiasm going.

Hope you all are doing okay!

[time2commitbastardlyactions]

My thoughts on HEARTSTEEL (even though no one asked):

I should start off by saying that my expectations going into this were very low. I know that Riot's music team never disappoints, but the leaked splash art was a bit of a let down in my opinion so I tried not to get my hopes up and I was hoping some things would be changed before the skins' release.

Regardless, I watched the music video as soon as it premiered... and I haven't been able to stop listening to it since. The song is SO GOOD!! It took me a couple of listens before I really got into it, but to say it's grown on me is an understatement. Sure, it's not better than POP/STARS (that's a given), but I can honestly say I like it better than GIANTS.

The song might be a banger, but my grievances come from pretty much everything else.

First of all, I think the casting could have been better. Baekhyun as Ezreal was great, but everyone else just felt... Off?? I got whiplash when Kayn started rapping because his voice just caught me so off-guard (though I suppose it was Rhaast rapping, so that makes more sense). Sett and K'Sante were a bit better, but I still think it was iffy casting overall. There's just such a stark contrast between their singing/rapping voices and their normal talking voices that doesn't sound quite right to me.

Second, the music video was pretty decent. As I stated before, my expectations weren't very high, so considering how low the bar was I wasn't disappointed. There were a lot of good moments in it that I really enjoyed, but overall I felt that it didn't flow as well as it could have. I thought it was very flashy, fast-paced, and chaotic. This is all subjective, but I think the video could have been better. For what it was, though, it was decent.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about the skin designs. I said before that I was disappointed when the splash art was leaked, and the same holds true now. What I liked about K/DA and True Damage is that the skins provided a new, modern spin on the characters while still holding true to who they are. The HEARTSTEEL designs were disappointing for me because it kind of feels like they tried to change too much. Some of them work, but some of them don't. Ezreal and Yone both look amazing and I'm considering picking up Yone just so I can play the skin when it comes out. I'm still on the fence about K'Sante, Sett, and Aphelios. Kayn just looks mid, which is upsetting for me because I literally started maining him just for the skin. Sett looks like a car mechanic. These skins could have been so good, and I think what they should have done instead is gone for a more edgy/punky vibe all around. There are a lot of bright colours in some of these designs, and I think that's what's throwing me off. Kayn is the literal edgelord of Runeterra, and you CANNOT convince me that he would actually dress like that. The pink hair is fine, but the brightness of the pink should be balanced out with darker clothing (PLEASE just get rid of the yellow pants, Riot, I'm begging you. The design would immediately go from a 6/10 to 9/10 if you just made the pants black instead of piss yellow). The same goes for Aphelios, who is often characterized by dark, emo aesthetics. His design doesn't look bad, but again, it could have been significantly improved by incorporating some darker elements. This is kind of a gripe that I've had with HEARTSTEEL in general. Riot went with the same pop vibes instead of innovating and coming up with something new. The band in general should have been more punk-rock oriented than what we got. I saw someone online saying that Kayn should have been a screamo rapper, and I can't agree more. Overall I don't dislike the designs, but they could have been done better.

So that's the end of my spiel. I love the song, but there are a lot of things about the band that left me wishing. I just hope that Kayn gets a black chroma or something, and I hope that when they get a comeback after 5 years or so (if Riot doesn't forget about them before then), Riot listens to fan feedback and we get something even better. I think the group has a lot of potential and I've really been enjoying the Discord chats on Twitter. If you have opinions about the group, feel free to add on to this, as these are all just my opinions.

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[which-hospital]

I've realised that with my lack of episode reviews and my mainly posting about hating how the Teddy storyline has been handled/pretending it's the 80s, my blog has been pretty negative lately. While I'm sure there are people who enjoy listening to my ranting, it must be getting pretty endless for people who followed me while I was still doing reviews. Anyway, I am still mad about how they've handled Teddy's storyline (and always will be) but here's things I have liked about this miniseries, since it's finishing tomorrow:

Milo Clarke. He's doing the best he can with disaster scripts and whenever Teddy is anywhere near being recognisably in character, it's because of him. He's absolutely phenomenal, his understanding of Teddy and how much he cares about what he's portraying really comes through in his performance!

Actually, the whole cast is doing great! They are 100% the reason Casualty won that BAFTA.

Rash's storyline is very, very good. It's well written and well performed and balances the need to be compelling with the need to be believable and realistic very well. I think they've been developing the dynamic between Rash and Tariq well, too.

This is specific and happened a couple episodes ago now, but the reveal that Rida is the whistleblower was good.

Patrick is a great villain. He feels like exactly the kind of villain the show needed right now and I hate him so much, it's perfect. I've heard he's been a little panto villain for some people's liking but that makes him even more fun to hate, for me. He reminds me of the type of scheming evil Elizabeth Straker of series 2 had going on when she was introduced and I think she was great (though she got a redemption arc and a love story with Ewart in the end, which feels unlikely for Patrick).

STEVIE AND DYLAN'S FRIENDSHIP. Nothing else to say on that... just... the dream team. Hope it continues.

Jacob getting a storyline and getting scenes is just good to see because for months that was not happening. Or it would happen for one week and they'd drop it again. I'm glad he's getting the screen time he deserves.

Ngozi and Nicole my beloveds! I think they're very enjoyable characters and hope they stick around for a long time and get lots of storylines. I love them both so much. I see a lot of people shipping them and I get that, me too honestly.

This is basically all the stuff I would've been repeating in my review posts if I hadn't replaced those with series 2 reviews and book reviews ^^

[kuwdora]

Star Wars audiobooks! I've been restless for new Star Wars since Andor ended. Been going through a handful of Disney era and Legends novels over the last few months. I have enough reactions to get down into an actual post. Mostly I'm just going to be foaming at the mouth over Marc Thompson and Sam Witwer's narration and falling over myself about the characters. I have listened to: Dark Disciple, Last Shot, Disney Thrawn trilogy, Heir to the Empire, Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter. Lots of these books I liked, some of them I didn't but the narration and characters are still amazing. Motherfucking MARA JADE. Asajj Ventress!!!!!!!! I have no rational mind about Maul and I am one of those feral stick figures chewing on Thrawn. Hnnghh.

First of all, let me start with Marc Thompson. He's been doing the audiobooks for years and years now. Here’s a great intro where he’s talking about the differences of doing character voices and learning the importance of bringing the right dynamic to the prose. He slips so seamlessly into his Star Wars voices reel, ahaha.

Here is a really cute Lip Sync Battle where Marc Thompson will say a line and then have a fan lip sync the same line back at the camera. His energy, his energy I love it so much. Everyone is having SO MUCH FUN. There’s also a cameo by Star Wars author Christie Golden in this video. Super cute.

First book:

Dark Disciple - Christie Golden Narrated by Marc Thompson

Alright I actually had picked this up ages go from my library and never read it but since I’ve been on an audiobook kick, Marc Thompson got me goin’ with alllll his voices.

I love Asajj Ventress so I was pretty much guaranteed to enjoy something from this book. Apparently it was written based on some unfinished scripts for an arc that would have happened if the show didn’t get cancelled. Knowing this makes a lot more sense with regards to the pacing and I think I would have preferred the animated episodic for this since I think a lot of the early Quinlan and Asajj stuff dragged a little too much. However I did appreciate getting more of a deeper dive in Asajj’s head and it really made me want to go digging through AO3 for some amazing character studies that I know must exist at this point.

But yeah, I didn’t think I’d enjoy the eventual romance between Asajj and Quinlan but Quinlan was such a perfect set-up for a fall from the Jedi Order. I think I’m just really easy when it comes to whumping the fuck out of Jedi with torture and their own emotional repression.

I was really into all the Dathomir scenes and the history of Asajj with her sisters being touched upon again and how she managed to not “go crazy from the dark side” because of the balance she found because she was a Nightsister.

A++ for Asajj having to go to Boba fucking Fett to mount a rescue mission inside a fake heist.

Really I think I’m just so easy for murdery women with a rage boner. Fuck Dooku.

Marc Thompson’s narration was a delight and I definitely would recommend this for anyone who enjoyed The Clone Wars series and wanted to get a little more Asajj screen time. Here’s a scene where someone pulled Clone Wars clips and put Dark Disciple audio underneath. Marc Thompson bringing incredible Dooku subservience and Sidious danger, hhhngh.

7/10, would listen to again even though I'd rather see the finished episodes.

Last Shot (A Han and Lando Novel) - Daniel Jose Older Narrated by Marc Thompson, Daniel Jose Older and January LaVoy

This book was extremely disappointing. Normally I am a fan of seeing fan-favorites have their mid-life crises but I was extremely bored and over with Older’s take on Han having an existential crisis of who he was as a father an husband in this post-Empire world. Lando on the other hand, was having a crisis of genuinely having fallen in love and not knowing how to handle that. I fucking loved that.

This book had multiple timelines and jumped around a lot and I don’t know if I just wasn’t focused enough while listening but the timeline jumps were jarring and incomprehensible at times. The action plot ended up being rather unsatisfying.

It was also very jarring to have three narrators for the different timelines and I kind of feel bad because I went and looked and Older’s narration is just consistently getting panned across all reviewers—and for good reason. Thompson and LaVoy are experienced voice actors and with Older in the middle, Older just seems slapdash in his reading. If it was just Older all the way through I might have been more forgiving but going back and forth with everyone… it really was painful at times.

It was a slog to get through this book, really. What I actually really enjoyed was all the original characters: an Ewok slicer, a nonbinary hot shot pilot, and Lando’s love of his life whose name is slipping my mind even now, agh. I wasn’t fan of the villain character, unfortunately, and it was a bit of a letdown that the action plot was just… I don’t know, boring. It was a riff on transhumanism except with droids and a bit of droid supremacy to it and I was just... tired by it.

Marc Thompson was KILLING it tho. His performances always fucking delight me. January LaVoy’s narration of Lando and L-3 were also really great even though I just wasn’t into the scenes themselves.

3/10 - do not recommend, HOWEVER I would read fic about the lady ewok hacker Peekpa.

Darth Maul: Shadow hunter By Michael Reeves Narrated by SAM WITWER

I am, as the fannish parlance goes, Not Normal about Maul or Sam Witwer's performance as Maul.

This novel takes place just before the events of The Phantom Menace and it’s a Star Wars story that is very, very narrow in scope. The stakes are still very high because someone has gained information about the Trade Federation’s impending blockade and Sidious sends Maul to go and take care of it. The whole story takes place in the underbelly of Coruscant and I gotta say, it’s really refreshing after going through a bunch of Star Wars shows, books and films where it’s all galactic hopping whirlwind stuff to have that's in one place and happening in a short amount of time. I think it's something like 2 or 3 days that all the events happen.

Michael Reeves is a man of deep characterization and creates an amazing sense of place in the Black Sun alley of Corusant. We get very little Sidious and Maul interaction but what bits we do get are fascinating and haunting. I do like the ‘less is more’ approach here with these two...although I will say I’m not sure I would have picked up this book if I hadn’t gone through The Clone Wars and lost my goddamn mind over Sam Witwer’s portrayal of Maul.

And his performance here. In this book. I don’t know what it is about Witwer but when he does Maul my brain just lights up in a way that I haven’t really gotten outside of live theater performances. He brings this sense of ruthlessness and competence to Maul, his gleeful rage and oscillating mania as he ends up tracking an information broker and Jedi Padawan. Oh, Witwer is truly just. Fucking amazing, okay.

I would love this book even if it wasn’t Witwer narrating it but my god he elevates it to a whole new level. I got my copy from the library but it is immediately on my to-buy list once I can buy books again.

Michael Reeves also wrote for Batman the Animated series and Gargoyles which makes a whole lot of sense in the way he’s able to just create such lush sensory detail of place and people, oh holy fuck. He’s the writer who wrote the Gargoyles episode about Broadway accidentally shooting Elisa with her gun (this is an episode that got pulled from airing and I don’t think they have on Disney+ right now). Aw man, alright I definitely need to read more of his stuff now.

The action plot is Lorn Pavan is a down-on-his-luck fellow who got information he shouldn’t have and he is trying to sell it, Darsha the Jedi Padawan gets sent down to bring in a Black Sun informant and things go tits up for her in horrible ways. Darsha and Lorn’s paths collide and they try to survive Maul. I love everything about these characters, except for the end where Lorn started having romantic feelings about the Padawan. Blech.

Also somehow I think I-5 is now my second favorite droid character I’ve come across in the greater Star Wars canon (Chopper will always be my #1 grumpy cat droid). Witwer has the best dry delivery for the droid character. Like. It’s so fucking GOOD.

I’m also impossibly impressed and obsessed with Witwer’s performance of Sidious and the Jedi Council. His Qui-Gon is SO FUCKING GOOD. His Palaptine has my teeth rattling in my head oh my god.

Here’s the first 5 or so minutes of Shadow Hunter, hhnngh. You get Maul, Sidious a drunk Lorn Pavan, and my new droid bestie I-5:

I am 100% going to be reading Michael Reeves’ other Star Wars novels. Apparently he has a series that follows a Jedi-in-hiding post-Order 66 and I want to just dunk my head in all the Star Wars noir, I guess, yes please.

10/10 - I love, would heartily recommend to anyone wanting a kind of story that’s more heavy on character and setting and also SAM WITWER!!!!!!!!! Maul. Hnnghghghgh.

TIMOTHY ZAHN TIME.

Thrawn Trilogy (Disney era) Thrawn, Thrawn Alliances, Thrawn Treason Narrated by Marc Thompson

This was my second time through the Disney novels. I watched Star Wars Rebels first, then my friend jb_slasher told me about Thrawn having novels. I had vaguely heard of Heir to the Empire over the years and also my friend recommended the Disney trilogy so I figured I’d start with that since I was diving off from Disney canon anyway.

My god I love this trilogy so fuckin’ much. Marc Thompson out here nailing it. This Thrawn is the type of character who is always the smartest person in the room and I should get irritated by that like all the other characters but mmmm, I have a competence kink. And I am just over the moon with how he instills loyally and allegiance in his crew who can now have a commander who is not interested in politicking his way through things but actually is committed to strategy and whatnot.

Also fucking Zahn made Thrawn go back to space college. And gave him a little protege who he grew to admire. Eli Vanto is a great character, I am reading a lot of slash about them obviously but yeah, I loved seeing his growth throughout the trilogy. And THRAWN ALLIANCE. Y’all. Y’all. The Star Wars memes about Thrawn and Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker are AMAZING and really do the hilarity so much justice. Here's a fantastic book trailer cut together with Marc Thompson' narration, hnngh.

This man absolutely knows who Darth Vader is and Darth Vader is like “oh fuck no you don’t.” And when Thrawn had met Anakin during the Clone Wars and Anakin had to try and work together with him? Perfection. Bonus Padme getting to be a ridiculous and foolish badass when she goes looking for trouble. And also her also having a competence kink for Thrawn, too. It cracks me the fuck uuuuuup, okay.

Thrawn absolutely hates politics so fucking much and I love to see how that is the primary way he gets thwarted or has to build his strategy around. Because people are fucking assholes and political everywhere. Seriously, have I mentioned how much I love Marc Thompson??

Thrawn Treason gave us more of Thrawn’s people and whatnot with the Chiss which I also liked but I’m really less interested in their motivations and experiences as a culture on the edge of the Empire. More here for Vanto now getting to be the fish-out-of-water and leveling up and getting all the respect he deserves.

MARC THOMPSON, y’all. He does a great Thrawn, an AMAZING whinybaby sycophant Ronan of the Starkiller Project, and his Eli Vanto Space Yokel intonation is 💋. Also I feel like the loyalty and trust that Thrawn earns from his subordinates really feeds into this praise kink thing that everyone develops by being around him. I love it.

10/10 will lose my mind and listen/read this trilogy again and also read all the fanfic about it.

Heir to the Empire Timothy Zahn

I am sorry it took me 30 years to get here but I AM NOW HERE FOR MARA JADE’S RAGE BONER. Let me repeat: MARA. JADE. !!!!!!!!!

Also holy fuck. Luke Skywalker getting to be smart, technically creative and able to navigate through terrible situations in spite of a Force-Blocking Macguffin is AMAZING. I was not expecting to be this into a post-Empire Luke but I really fucking loved it.

I also love all of the Han and Lando scenes in this (WAY MORE than Last Shot, sorry Daniel Jose Older).

Leia and Chewie!! On Kashyyk!! Talon Karrde was so great (Thompson made him kind of sound like Antonio Banderas??)

Thrawn and his bestie Pelleaon! What a fascinating dynamic.

I actually was not very into Thrawn’s vibes in this book as much as I was in the Disney stuff. I don’t know if it’s because of the vibes they wrote him in Star Wars rebels that got filtered back into Zahn’s take on him for the books (or if it was the other way around?) - Like, the calculating tactical and man of strategy is still there, but… hm, I’ve been struggling to articulate what about it that didn’t tickle me as much. He’s still playing the long game in every situation but I don’t know… I think there’s this more pragmatic view of people he has in the Disney books that he doesn’t get here in the first of this trilogy. I haven’t gotten to the other two books from this series yet so maybe I’ll feel differently later. The anniversary edition of the audiobook that I got from my library was narrated by Marc Thompson and he (you'll be so surprised) fucking nailed it all for me. Love love love.

10/10 timothy zahn, I love you. You got an amazing way of writing action. I gotta read more of your stuff. Anyway, I'm also starting the Ahsoka novella that I think (??) is not quite canon anymore since they got a final season for Clone Wars, but it's by E.K. Johnston and narrated by Ahoska's voice actor Ashley Eckstein. Don't have enough thoughts about it yet but I love Ahsoka so I'm sure I'll have a decent time.

[jouska-the-deer]

People still suck at writing Sonic the Hedgehog

Interpretations of Sonic outside of media made by Sonic Team often seem either unable or unwilling to reconcile the fact that Sonic is both kind-hearted and intelligent, but I think I've noticed a recent shift in the way writers try to reconcile it.

In general, there seems to be this belief that smart people are inherently more pessimistic toward the world and that kind people are inherently more naive towards it. So, when writing for a character who's both smart and kind, less knowledgeable writers end up flanderizing them in one of two ways:

The first way, which is how Sonic was interpreted in Sonic Boom and prior, is making the character act like a jerk who knows best. At worst, they'll be outright rude towards their closest friends, but any criticism they get for it will be ignored because their opinions are always correct in the eyes of the narrative. At best, they'll sometimes make mistakes and learn lessons about being nicer to other people, which is something their non-flandarized self wouldn't have struggled with.

The second way, which is how Sonic is interpreted now, is making the character a saint who solves everything with friendship. At worst, they'll give absolute tyrants a million chances, but any criticism they get for it will be ignored because their opinions are always correct in the eyes of the narrative. At best, they'll sometimes make mistakes and learn lessons about certain people being unwilling to change, which is something their non-flandarized self wouldn't have struggled with.

You may have noticed I straight up copy/pasted a couple bits of those last two paragraphs. Well, that's because those bits reveal a bit of truth in how Sonic is portrayed by Sonic Team. Sonic's opinions are always correct in the eyes of the narrative, because of the lessons he no longer struggles with. Sonic already learned to balance his desire to give people a second chance with the fact that some people just have to be stopped. When? Since the very beginning. Sonic has always been trying to defeat Eggman for good while also giving second chances to people who he thinks deserve it.

But how do you deal with people who are causing so much harm when you still think they deserve a second chance? Guess what? Sonic answered that straight up in Sonic Adventure 1.

Do me a quick favor and if you can listen to Open Your Heart, specifically the Sonic Adventure 1 version (Click here). You may notice that there're two distinct sets of vocals; One clean and high pitched, and one distorted and low pitched. (And if you're wearing headphones the audio will even pan during the chorus.) For context, this is the song that plays while Sonic is fighting Chaos.

You can figure it out yourself from there, but if you want me to really dig into the topic, feel free to keep reading.

So like, I shouldn't have to say this, but the dark negative voice is Chaos' view and the light positive voice is Sonic's. But notably, they sing together during key points, specifically those related to the anger, sadness, and hopelessness that Chaos has been feeling for ages. Sonic has recognized that 1. imprisoning Chaos as suggested by Tikal wouldn't solve anything because, 2. Chaos is only acting this way due to being blinded by hatred for those he perceives as selfish monsters, and 3. he's still very much currently destroying the world and won't change his mind because he's lost hope that there's anything worth holding on to.

What does Sonic do then? Sonic may be an unstoppable force but Chaos is a seemingly immovable object. Well, he literally uses the positive energy from his friends and within himself to stop Chaos' rampage and prove that there are still good people in the world that want to maintain peace. After he loses the fight, Chaos is able to calm down and see that the cute defenseless chao he'd been protecting ages ago had survived, living among the very people he had assumed could only be power hungry monsters. He's able to let go of his hatred and live a peaceful life understanding that good people still exist and the world is still worth protecting.

And that's where the question is answered. How do you deal with people who are causing so much harm when you still think they deserve a second chance? You do everything you can to stop them, and if they're still around afterward, show them that they didn't need to fight in the first place. But that only works if they had a good reason behind why they were fighting, and would have chosen peace otherwise.

Sonic wanted to give Chaos a second chance because he knew that violence was not truly in his nature. Had he not been forced into those specific circumstances, Chaos would have chosen peace.

And that's what separates characters who have done a lot of harm but Sonic still gave a second chance to like Chaos and Merlina, from those who have done a lot of harm but Sonic wouldn't give a second chance to, like Eggman and Erazor Djinn. The former wanted peace but became convinced that it was impossible, and the latter only wanted power and were willing to hurt others to obtain it. The characters who Sonic won't give another chance to have proven that when dealt a better hand, they'll still chose to hurt others solely for their own gain, because that's what they want. To stop them peacefully, Sonic would have to convince them to give up their true dreams.

And that, is why Sonic's opinions get to always be treated as right in the games, because they are right. He has an absolutely kind heart, a nuanced understanding of morality, and the integrity to never give in to selfish desires.

None of this means Sonic is always right, though. Most people already know of his impulsiveness, which is his greatest weakest, but also one of his greatest strengths. Sonic never waits to act, which is great when innocent people are seconds from mortal danger... but not so great when a situation looks to be one way but is actually another. He teases Eggman for pleading for a second chance in Unleashed and he kicks the Cacophonous Conch from Eggman's hand in Lost World, and both of those were massive mistakes.

But, despite making those mistakes, his mindset wasn't the problem. How was he supposed to know Eggman was a shockingly good actor leading him into a trap? How was he supposed to know the people Eggman was controlling with the conch were equally as evil? (Yes Tails tried to warn him but literally if he didn't Sonic wouldn't have looked stupid and it just shows how poorly written Lost World was overall.) Had Eggman actually been pleading and the Zeti good people, Sonic's actions would've been justified.

Still, those were mistakes, and Sonic always wants to do what's right, so he does what he can to fix his own messes. He restores the planet Eggman broke apart. He stops the Zeti from sucking the life out of the planet. Sonic always makes things right in the end, and so he has the right to be so confidant in his beliefs. So confidant in fact that he doesn't care about looking like the bad guy if it means doing the right thing. Oh look, there's a song about that too. From Sonic's fight with Merlina in Sonic and the Black Knight. (Click Here.) Don't be fooled by the feminine vocals, if you paid attention to the themes of the game, the song is clearly from Sonic's perspective.

So yeah, Sonic is kind but he's also smart. He won't let anyone change his mind on anything, but he doesn't need to change his mind because he follows his kind heart and compassionate soul. He doesn't worry about looking like the bad guy because he and his friends know his true nature. When he gets angry he lets his rage fuel his desire to save the day. He'll never shed tears of despair because he knows that if he keeps fighting he'll make things right in the end. Sometimes his impulsiveness gets him into trouble, but it also helps get him back out. No matter what happens to him, he'll always make it out in the end either through sheer determination or the help of his friends.

Sonic is absolutely silly; He makes dumb jokes about his enemies and talks to himself when there's nobody around. Sonic is completely serious; He's willing to kill someone if it means saving the world and has felt multiple friends die before his eyes and in his arms.

Sonic is literally just some blue hedgehog who can run really fast.

Sonic is a god, and could kill god, and there is not a difference!

But most importantly, Sonic is all of those things at once. He is a wonderfully balanced character who's been right from the very beginning and has spent all his games sharing his wisdom with others simply by being himself. He isn't perfect, but that's not due to some personality flaw he needs to correct, but because nobody can always have all the answers and know how to avoid all potential mistakes.

The problem is, writing a character like this is hard. Writing conflicts for a character like this is hard. Most writers rely on making their protagonists work through relatable flaws to create an emotionally compelling story... but you don't need to do that. Sonic's conflicts are mostly external, but we care about him succeeding anyway because he's a good person who's just trying to live his life.

So really, if you wanna write Sonic well, you have to just let him speak for himself.

...By the way I mean that literally. Dude listen to his character theme it's all right there! (Click here.) Even when his theme was altered in Sonic Adventure 2 the only thing that changed was how confidently the same ideas were delivered. (Click here.) But seriously listen to literally any of the game themes, final boss themes, and ending themes. (I'm not linking all that.) No matter the quality of the games, if Sonic wanted to teach you something he was gonna teach it... through the power of having a music department detached from the nightmare that is game development time crunch.

And that's why Sonic Lost World is the worst Sonic game. Because it was so pointless that Sonic didn't have anything to sing about!

Wait... what was the point of this post again?

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #73

As it turns out, the weather today is not ideal for J to fly home with the plane. So J, Br, and I will be staying in Pennsylvania at least until tomorrow.

J tried to encourage us to go home. Br and I stayed. We spent time at a nearby cafe, making art and eating tasty snacks. When J was done getting 5 hours of flight time in the machine with an instructor (for insurance purposes), Br and I were glad that we had stayed; J tends to become extremely anxious when he is away from people he is familiar with for too long, and today was no exception to that general trend, ahaha…

I used the time to weave a wire tree. Br drew a self-portrait. And while we did our things, we spoke about various topics, from our various traumas to our dreams for the future.

Here are some images of the tree I wove together today:

...I hope that the tree I wove in your colors somehow can reach you. I hope that the Tree of Life I wove in my colors and encased in an epoxy sphere somehow reaches you. I entrusted some very important people with one of these things, with the hope that they would pass it along to you; they have the power to do this. I doubt that they will, but... even if they don't, I hope that the item I made is enjoying its time in Japan in a spot where it can be seen and loved.

...In any case. I feel very blessed to know Br. J and I met her at a chance encounter, going to an event called a "Star Party". A Star Party is when a bunch of folks interested in the night sky get together with telescopes in a place with minimal light pollution. Because there was so very little light pollution where we went, I was actually able to see the arms of my planet's galaxy for the first time; it was a marvelous sight to witness. Br, J, and I exchanged contact information, and we've been good friends ever since.

Since so much of your planet still seems like it's undeveloped (and thus there are still a lot of places where the light emitted from cities does not touch, yes?), I imagine it must be pretty easy for you to find places where the night sky is fully visible in all its glory, no? I can't help but wonder what your night sky looks like, what the arms of your galaxy look like, and so on. Are the constellations where you live very different from the constellations where I live? What sorts of colors do the stars in your night sky shine in?

…I wish I could hear your answers to all of these. I wish I could spend time listening to you talk about it. I'd never get tired of listening to the things you know and the things you think and feel about the things you know.

I've seen the moon in your world, though. Here's one picture we have:

We have this picture, too. This is probably the best one we have so far. But some guy has kinda photobombed it on us:

...That's okay though. He seems very excited and he's good at balancing on things. I don't mind as long as he's having a good time!

The moon in my world looks like this:

...So as you can see, the craters that face my planet look a lot different from yours. But, we have 3D models of our moon, which is pretty neat! So if you change the angle just a tiny little bit, you'll see that the craters on my moon are actually maybe a little similar to yours:

...It's not too terribly different at all, is it? I suppose I find that comforting, for some reason.

I hope someday you'll be able to take a nice walk somewhere and enjoy the sight of your moon and of your stars at your leisure. Since there's so much light pollution, I don't have a whole lot of opportunities to properly enjoy the night sky on my planet, so... please make it a point to enjoy the night sky on yours a little extra for me, okay?

You are loved, so please stay safe out there. Come back to us in one piece. Make good, kind, gentle, and loving choices.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will look like, but one thing is certain: I will write to you. So look forward to it.

Your friend, Lumine

[acetechne]

Greetings, I'm obsessed with your blog, especially your IAmMathewian content. You have a really good artstyle and you capture the characters very well. Would you be open to making headcanons for various characters? No pressure, of course.

howdy! and thank you, I'm flattered :)

i have been part of iamp for fiiiiiiiifteeeeeeeen yeeeeeears (screech), I did art and voice acting for IAMP Back In The Day and I've at least gotten better at one of those; I also run @project-canada which was an attempted reboot I helped out with but now it's just kind of a general repository for fanworks so I try to check the tags once in a while so people can see others who still make stuff in the fandom.

There are a lot of headcanon type posts on my main blog @allbeendonebefore since I've been around for a long time. If I remember to tag them its usually under iamp headcanon on there. Again, grain of salt, etc. that not everything about IAMP aged well, there are things I've changed my mind about as I've grown as a person and travelled and listened, and there are things that I like to focus on that aren't everyone's cup of tea and that's fine.

going to ramble a little bit, so headcanons fall into one of the following:

1. based on lived experience (i have lived in 3 provinces and 1 territory and have family who have spent time in those places at different times; I have travelled to/through four more provinces on top of that). I am happy to contribute info to those places and explain my perspectives and biases with those because I'm One of the Idiots Who Lives There.

2. based on history (I am not a capital H Historian but my degrees come out of the history and classics department and I am currently doing local history as my Job, I was the person who made the rough timelines of characters' histories when the Project Canada reboot was active because I felt like the only person who had the stamina to do that for every character.

3. based on things that make me angry (or things that are funny!) on the news (some people find it hard to distinguish what is and isn't stereotypes/satire if they're not keeping up with me so the usual disclaimer that I Don't Make Characters Reflect My Actual Views All The Time and there's a difference between "this is how the character is in my mind" and "this is me using blorbo as shorthand for taking out my frustration at the State of Things because i live in a province where the governing party thinks starting Literal Actual Tire Fires is good policy." It's one of those things of "if you are unsure just ask" and I will explain, but I think its usually obvious when I am doing salty political comics vs "this is how I legitimately think the characters would interact", its just striking that balance gets hard sometimes.

4. stuff I hear from other people based on their own experiences or just like. reading and listening a lot.

oh and stuff that other people tell me and i go sure that tracks why not.

Yeah, I'm down to talk about whatever/more specific things whenever, I'm just also very particular about some things and I like it when headcanons are based on something a little bit tangible before I fold them into whatever the hell I'm doing at the time. I also tend to disappoint people because I tend not to approach things from the lens of shipping so... even if it appears its usually in a weird and Stupid way that is for max comedy and not max romance so there's that.

I do also do a lot of side stuff with my own city ocs on @battle-of-alberta because i like the granularity and nuance of municipal stuff to sort of poke holes in the whole flattening national/provincial stereotypes thing. yeah.

again i can talk about this stuff all day but uh i realize I tend to ramble incoherently so I'll cut myself off there. Thanks again, enjoy your exploration, drop me a line if you like etc etc. peace.