#even if i know logically it’s not true it just feels like something im used to not afraid of

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[kavehater]

Man I just give up.

[trees-to-meet-you]

Yknow I wonder if I would’ve been in Martin’s domain if I’m not afraid of that so much as resigned to it??

[bunnyshideawayy]

a rumored bastard and a proven, disinherited, legally illegitimate recognized bastard are not the same.

Rhaenyra’s sons are rumored bastards, i know the show has a lot of team green stans feeling bold but just as in the books, they are never legally considered bastards in the show either. they are speculated to be via their physical features and Laenor’s apparent sexuality, but since Laenor and the KING (btw Westeros is a absolute monarchy, meaning the king IS law) both claim all three boys as legitimate heirs, unless someone demands a medieval dna test, those kids are legally Laenor’s true sons.

this is apparently a very hard concept to understand for some, hell even Alicent in the show says something like “we can all tell” which fair point, but that is not proof enough. looks, accusations, and rumor are not the same as actual proof of adultery or bastardy.

someone i was having a “discussion” with used Joffrey as an example to point out a flaw in my logic, but ultimately proved my point. Joffrey was a rumored bastard. Ned himself had no more proof than Alicent does, just hair color and a hunch, so Joffrey was never legally disinherited from the line of succession. I hate to defend either of these men but King Robert never publicly disowned him and called him bastard, which is why Joffrey ascended to the Iron Throne. now the rumors did hurt, and caused huge political issues leading to the War of 5 Kings, which is exactly why Alicent and Team Green is so insistent that Rhaenyra’s children are illegitimate, they know they cannot legally or physically prove her children are bastards, especially when Laenor and the King are claiming them are true born, but they can spread the rumor and call into question Rhaenyra’s honesty and morality. think episode 8 when team green takes their chance with Vaemond to attempt a coup of sorts for the Driftmark Throne, why would the succession of Driftmark need to be settled if Rhaenyra’s sons are true born? why would Alicent / Otto need to make this decision in place of the sick king and mia lord of tides who both had already been stating Luke would inherit for years. it’s all apart of the scheme to tarnish Rhaenyra’s reputation as Vaemond has no other proof either, and promptly loses his head (both metaphorically and literally) by calling the recognized heir to the throne a whore and her children bastards with no proof in front of the whole court.

it is a political scheme on both sides, Alicent cannot prove anything, and Rhaenyra cannot disprove the rumors no matter how many times they are claimed as true born sons. Rhaenyra has to live in the comfort the law gives her, as legally her sons are seen as legitimate, and thus legally they are protected. and from an unbiased pov with both in universe and historical references, those kids might be bastards in actually but not legally.

Rhaenyra goes through hell to keep her children legally protected, not only for their sake but for hers because should the truth come out both her and Laenor would be seriously punished, i wouldn’t go as far as executed but that would depend on if Viserys was old and bed ridden or dead. which is why im making this incredibly long post repeating myself in every point. you can argue all day about Rhaenyra’s children and their parentage but i am making this to make it clear that her children are not *legally* bastards by Westeros law. in order for Jace, Luke, and Joffrey to be illegitimate bastards Laenor, Rhaenyra, Harwin, and/or Viserys would have to publicly acknowledge them as such and disinherit them. no, Laenor and Viserys dying do not magically make Rhaenyra’s children legal bastards either. they would, again, need to be claimed and proven as such and disinherited.

and at the end of it all, true or not true, the rumors made a lasting impact on the story. so much so this fandom is still debating this topic, and frankly i am dreading the season 2 release when all the bad takes and bad faith arguments start up again.

anyway other famous rumored bastards are in Targ history are:

Maegor

Daeron II

[causeimcrayzeebee]

Wolfgang Akire through the lens of the law: an analysis

i would like to give a disclaimer that while im very interested in the law, im not a lawyer or in law school. my knowledge comes from the few law classes i have taken, participation in a couple mock trials, and some personal research, so please take this with a grain of salt! if im missing something or saying something inaccurate, please let me know! i am always open to learning more!! not to mention this is my understanding of law in the United States, so this may differ by country.

in the end, this isn’t meant to be too serious, just using the knowledge i do have and applying it to p:eg!!!

okay now spoilers for the prologue and all of chapter 1!

well ig before we get into it let me say rest in peace a king... I will miss you, you hypocritical bastard........

alright, so firstly, let’s consider Wolfgang’s character profile.

two things stand out to me here. the first is how he has “successfully defended over 200 of his clients without dropping a single case.” we can infer that Wolfgang is a criminal defense attorney. it’s possible he could be a lawyer in the civil law sector instead, but considering his strong feelings about murder and crime, and the fact that this is Danganronpa, it leads me to believe he is a criminal attorney for the sake of relevance (I don't think any of us would care if he were a corporate attorney after all).

now, that sentence you just read is particularly interesting in the case of Wolfgang Akire. From the prologue's mock trial, we can see that Wolfgang feels very passionately about murder, condemning the murderer even without insight as to why they committed the crime, instead big on retribution and justice (which the definition of could definitely be debated). Yet, as a defense lawyer, Wolfgang would have been defending people from criminal accusations, from anything to armed robbery, arson, or murder. we’re not particularly sure on his view of other crime, but we can assume he also has a similarly negative view of it that he has of murder. out of 200 people (within such a short time span of finishing law school too), what are the odds that out of all 200, not one of them was actually guilty? of course, lawyers have the ability to drop or not take on cases, but as his profile says, he hasn’t dropped a single case! it’s quite possible he had complete faith that every client was innocent, but with the evidence and files he’d have to go through, he had to have seen something that was damning and prepared accordingly to address in the most sympathetic way possible to avoid prosecution winning their case. and that's the thing with Wolfgang; his job requires building sympathy for the accused, and it requires sowing seeds of doubt in prosecution's case. there had to have been someone that he was defending from an accurate charge(s). so whether he knew it or not, he has very likely defended people guilty of crime; and yet, he still feels very adamantly against them.

Here's where I fall short on my analysis; I honestly do not know what to make of this conclusion. his behavior and his ideals are almost contradictory in a sense. is this insight to wolfgang's clear hypocrisy? but what does that really say about him? I'd love to know what any of y'all think in regards to this :0

Now, the second thing that stands out to me is that he wants to make sure that everyone is fairly represented and make sure logic and evidence drive the discussion. While this does seem to be true, the mock trial shows that he lets his feelings become a big part of the discussion as well. everything he does screams prosecutor to me, so it was shocking to find out he works as defense. Wolfgang has a very interesting way of viewing things, almost dichotomous, unlike what his profile says. it's similar to the format of a trial, where it's not meant to be a team working together to find the complexities and nuance within a certain issue, but rather an attempt to prove your point and disprove the other side. trials aren't supposed to be a discussion where everyone reaches the truth together (Danganronpa trials are not very accurate but of course I don't think they were intended to be in the first place), they are for you to win your case-- as a defense attorney, its poking as many holes into the prosecution’s case as possible. (little fun side note, this is very similar to how debate works; Wolfgang and Damon are a lot more alike than one would originally think.)

Considering all of this, it makes me wonder if Wolfgang was intentionally trying to split the group apart,,,, because it's easier. because it makes more sense. as defense, lawyers may pin the crime on another, but without the burden of proof that prosecution does, they can sling out accusations to increase doubt on prosecutions case without having to actually prove it (that would be left for a separate case). it's easier to divide a group and have a bunch of people follow you while isolating the 'other side', and with that division made, it's more likely someone you isolated will be the 'villian' anyways; and in this case, this was true-- Eva, who has been socially ostracized her whole life, was driven to murder to protect herself from the blinding fear that everyone was out for her (even if that wasn't entirely true). this could be just how Wolfgang has gotten used to going through his life. maybe the bad habits he picked up from his father were the divisive kind of us vs them mindset lawyers have to have in a courtroom.

speaking of his father, let's address the motive-- there's so many things that Wolfgang's blackmail could be about; faking his law degree, not taking the bar exam, defending horrible people, the list goes on. Honestly, a scenario i have considered is that it's about him defending his father for a crime he actually did commit, yet winning the case; or his father commuting a crime in general and winning his case, leaving Wolfgang conflicted as that is the sort of thing he does all the time, yet his father had just taken away his mothers life and gotten free (this is very much just me guessing a possibility though). when Wolfgang was hallucinating, he says he's not like them (to diana who he thinks is someone else) and he'll never be like them; It's most likely that he saw his father. the theory I'm going with right now is that his father was at the very least heavily involved in the likely murder of his mother (thus bring her back in reference to his mom). his father was probably also a lawyer and may have pushed wolfgang into going into the field himself, especially when he sent him to law school as a teenager. maybe Wolfgang wanted to live up to the expectations his father had of him. who knows exactly what Wolfgang wanted everyone to know him as, it was probably a long the lines of a competent lawyer. but, as of right now it's all speculation (objection! haha.... that was not funny my bad), so again, I'd love to hear some thoughts.

Another little funny thing i'd like to note is when Damon and Eva come back to the dinning hall and Wolfgang asks where they've been, Damon responds saying it was for discussing the motive. He's internally smug about how defeated Wolfgang seemed to be by that, and I thought that the funniest shit; very similar to being on cross examination, thinking you have the witness in your hands, when suddenly they wiggle out of your accusation. he's so real for that.

that is pretty much all i've got so far! let me know what y'all think and thanks for reading!!! :)

[psychabolition]

i think the funniest reason against self dx being that only drs are capable of thorough unbiased assessments is that most drs are not unbiased or thorough. they barely even assess.

True !! Its so funny when people reify a "professional judgment" about you that psychologists make in 0.2 seconds because of the jeans and boots you wear and your dyed hair. Like my clothing and hair dye unironically played a role in getting diagnosed with a personality disorder several times.💀 one psychiatrist told me that my top and boots look histrionic and my hair obsessive compulsive . Another one told me that Im antisocial because my jeans are ripped and I "sit like a rockstar" . no one can tell me that diagnoses are a scientific truth and not a moral judgement about me. Another one told me that he can tell by my hair and clothes and the way I sit and talk to him that Im "promiscuous" (=that I have a lot of casual sex) and that thats a sign of borderline . Im literally asexual .I dont know how I could ever take any diagnosis seriously .

But honestly I personally dont use the biomedical model (=which says that mental illness is the same as physical illness. This model tells us that if we have a psych label then we have "symptoms" of an underlying "illness" .) to understand my experiences at all anymore. I neither think of self dx nor of prof dx as particularly helpful. But honestly everyone can use the framework that makes most sense for themselves to understand their own experiences obviously. I would never tell someone that theyre using the wrong words to describe their own experiences or the wrong framework to understand themselves - I'm not a psychologist.

I personally reject all diagnoses and use a different framework instead of the biomedical model that makes more sense to me - the neurodiversity framework . I think of a lot of the experiences that got me diagnosed and that also made me label myself as "ill/disordered" as simply a deviation from "neuronormativity" (=whats societally deemed 'normal' to think/feel/do depending on your assigned gender/age/socioeconomic status/...) - this includes the norm deviation of "suffering more severely than others" . It just makes more sense to me since all mental illness diagnoses are solely descriptive labels - they literally only summarize experiences that you have . Thinking "well i do x because i have y condition (which was diagnosed based on clinician observations of x) and my brain is simply broken in a way requiring me to submit to expert clinical management and surveillance" was a sure way to make me go to therapy and try meds again and again and again . Like when I said "Im suicidal because of my depression (which is a label I got because I am suicidal)" it was like saying "I'm suicidal because I'm suicidal" . Its a circular logic . The question remains: what was actually the cause of my pain ??? Theres never been found a biological cause for any mental illness label by the way (neither low serotonin in depression nor a genetic defect in schizophrenia or that neurotypicals have a different brain than neurodivergent people or whatever else) .

So the reason why I personally dont see both, self diagnosis and professional diagnosis, as helpful is because it made me think I need to take medication and go to therapy to feel better and to lead a life that I enjoy . Its ironic that I ever thought that since therapy and meds always made my life much worse. and I know for certain that I would be doing better nowadays if I had never been to therapy and if I had never taken any meds. Believing that my diagnoses (self dx or prof dx) are true and say something about me made me think that I'll never be happy in life, that I'm a lost cause and that no one can help me (I was always labelled as non-compliant and as uncurably sick) . I dont think of myself as ill, I think of myself as neurodivergent (= deviating from neuronormativity) .

[mysticpenguincreation]

okay. im going to post again and break my own promise because i also want to address another side of the argument.

people saying how they can’t watch part 2 now because luke manipulated the fans and they feel that the magic is ruined.

remember. we are talking about real people here. they are not the fictional characters they play on screen. let’s go over this one by one, i LOVE making numbered lists for arguments:

1. Luke and Nicola provided us with a fabulous tour. They owe us NOTHING.

It’s US who should be greatfull to them for doing hard work. A long press tour with that amount of promotion must have been absolutely exhausting no matter how much you love your job.

2. Luke isn’t obliged to fall in love with Nic and date Nic.

3. Nic isn’t obliged to fall in love with Luke and date Luke.

4. MULTIPLE times they addressed the fact that they are good friends. People were giddy making gifs saying “no, ur lying”.

Now imagine someone coming up to you and saying “You’re in love with me”. You answer “No i’m not”. They tell you “Nah, you’re lying”. It’s all in good fun until it grows into a straight up disrespectful delusion.

5. The personal life of actors shouldn’t affect how you feel about fictional characters. ESPECIALLY if they did not a fucking thing wrong. I wish really creepy and predotary people in the industry got at least half of the shit Luke is going through right now because Luke dared to have a fucking relationship. Or a relationship not with Nic.

6. We should be thankful to Nic and Luke for being kind, professional and respectful. We should be in love with their beautiful friendship, and not push either of them to cater to desires of fans who cannot, will not, do not want to distinguish between show and real fucking life. They have no obligation to you to start dating because their onscreen counterparts did and you liked it.

7. Again, I do not want to speculate. I have no idea if it was their decision or if it was PR. If they were encouraged to hide their relationship during promotion (imagine waiting this fucking long), or if they were encouraged to show that they’re together right after the show dropped. I do not know AND IT DOES NOT MATTER. Even the idea of restraining your personal life due to PR is sad and makes me sick. I hope they’re just going with the flow, staying true to themselves and are being HAPPY.

“Was it a wrong PR decision?” does not fucking matter because it should be their fucking decision to begin with. The fact that PR is created for this exact reason - to do damage control when people lose their shit over something normal is bind-boggling. It is insane that we came to this fucking point in human history.

8. The phrase “Luke’s hard launch” disgusts me. Fans are talking about Antonia like she’s an object and not a real person. JUST STOP!

9. Try to be fucking kind and touch the fucking grass once in a while. Grass is lovely - take Penelope’s advice.

Seeing this makes me think that the comments are coming from two groups of people:

1. Toxic stan’s who want Nic with Luke and can’t grasp the idea that they are not their characters. “Luke is a lot like Colin” from interviews does not fucking equal “Luke is in love with Nic”. Following this delulu logic he should have fallen for Claudia then because they said multiple times that Claudia is a lot like Pen and Nic is a lot like Eloise. There is no fucking connection in these statements. Fucking none.

2. People who loved the idea of Luke being single because it allows them to fantasize about Luke falling in love with them. It’s okay, we’ve all had celebrity crushes, but when it gets to the point of you throwing hate at the person, it becomes creepy and unhealthy.

To all the haters and “sympathizers” - get some help and get your shit together.

[drunkwhenimadethis]

I was confessing my absurd fears to my bf with things along the lines of being betrayed or him finding other women sexually attractive and asked if he had any similar fears. He said he did, and it was that I was only with him for his money. Essentially: I am a gold digger. I have always refused monetary gifts and him paying for things. However I’ve been staying with him for three months after he got me kicked out of my last rooming house because Im in college and couldn’t find a place quick enough, and was extremely adamant about it but he insisted. We’ve been together for almost a year. He said that the thought of me using him for money is recurring, but he’s unemployed and his parents pay for everything besides his groceries. What do I make of this? It’s really offput me that he thinks of me this way

Disclaimer I love to remember that the English “advice” comes from the Latin “videre” to see so if I give you this advice it is not a prescription, it is only my way of looking at things in this moment

I think one thing I would like to point out is that you wrote: “It was that I was only with him for his money. Essentially: I am a gold digger.” There are a million ways of interpreting a single statement made by someone that we care about, and since so much of life creation begins with storytelling in the mind, you want to be quite meticulous about the interpretations that you align with and carry forward. I don’t think that “Essentially: I am a gold digger” makes the most sense logically nor in terms of experiencing what you want, which I assume is love, commitment, trust, and closeness

Why essentially are you a gold digger? Did he say that or did he say that he has an absurd fear that you might be with him for reasons other than who he himself is? “Money” —the word—and its associations make us react emotionally and indignantly “How dare you!!!!” but he said the same thing that you said, he shared the fear he has that maybe he alone is not enough for you

When you shared that you’re fearful of him being attracted to other women, did he say that essentially you are calling him a dishonest whore with no dick discipline? Would that make sense to you if he reacted that way or would you feel like hmm, this man is really making my fears about himself?

Your fears are yours and yours alone

I am guilty of wanting the perfect words or actions to assuage me but it never works out that way. You need to go into yourself and pour love on your fears and kill them

He can tell you everything you want to hear and then what happens when he’s out of sight?

What happens if he has to leave the country? What happens if you can’t have eyes on him?

Are we doomed to constantly revert back to fear?

See yourself as the only one 

Don’t entertain competition in your mind

Don’t dwell on these fears. Your subconscious can’t reason with you

Remove the negative imaginary conversations—not only are they a waste of time, they are by nature of reality active forces 

Be happy for him that his family takes care of him, not everyone gets that and it’s good

Imagine he will take care of you like his family taught him to. Imagine sturdiness and dependability. Imagine better than what you know

Wish him the best on his job search, remove safety-seeking in the form of judgment

You are deserving and you’re allowed to accept gifts from your boyfriend. Work on this asap, I think there's something in you that just doesn't feel worth it and you can't outrun that and nobody can appease that for long

And don't tell yourself that he got you kicked out of your last rooming house, even if it seems true. If you can choose any belief and create life with it, since you’re creating even when you’re not consciously aware that you’re doing so, why don’t you choose something that serves you both more? Why not tell yourself that the universe is conspiring to bring you closer to each other?

Loving and fearless! Avanti!

“The beautiful idea you awaken in yourself shall not fail to arouse its affinity in others.”

[6sixx6sexual6]

Hi I was wondering if you make GNR fics and if you do can you pls make one of Izzy being mean to his girl or something and if you don’t write gnr fics can you do Vince or Nikki being mean to his girl thank you!!

HII I DONT WRITE FOR GNR BUT MAYBE IF I FEEL LIKE GETTING DISGUSTINGLY EDUCATED ON THEM THEN MAYBE. ALSO I THINK YOU MEAN LIKE NIKKI OR SOMETHING BEING MEAN TO HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND AND NOT IZZYS? IM PRETTY SURE

word count: 678

warnings: manipulation, drugs, alcohol, nikki being an ass

ok so just to start things off I don't really know whats going on with like mick and something about nikki sueing him or something and it kinda sucks. but if Nikki would do that to his “brother” now then imagine what Nikki would do to his girlfriend back then.

don't get me wrong, he loves you to death and he shows it, but there's a lot of reasons as to why he would be so toxic or mean.(drugs, alcohol, pressure, and i'm sure in a relationship like this the lack of love he got as a child would probably come into play.)

He does love you though. Sometimes he can just be an asshole. but not so much physically if he's being mean just to be mean but more emotionally if that makes sense.

There can be a number of reasons why Nikki could be mean to you. It could be from drug-induced behavior, especially if he's feeling aggressive or paranoid from being high.

It could also be if he's feeling insecure or threatened in some way, and his default response is to become defensive and lash out. Another possibility is that he's simply being a dick, and he's not thinking deeply about his behavior, but rather just reacting negatively.

he would probably be really passive-aggressive like the silent treatment or just act cold and ignore you. He would also make mean comments, either outright or in a snide or sarcastic way and harsh with his words and demeanor, saying hurtful things to you in order to hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself.

He's the type to go for sensitive points and use them as a weapon, knowing that it'll hurt you even if the criticism may be accurate or true, but if you do it to him hes shutting it down immediately, like getting in your face telling you to shut up or knock it off.

now if you were like in front of people like the band or something, he wouldn't wanna embarrass you or him, and he doesn't wanna hear shit from the guys or get looks from people if he were mean to you, so the most he would do in public is like get real close to you and tell you to leave him alone then walk away.

but if he were just mad or being a dick he'd still act like a boyfriend I guess, but wouldn't talk much. but while he's in this pissy mood he wouldn't try and solve it or apologize.

maybe he would after he got something good out of it but most likely not. maybe he'd disappear for a while then come back with his stupid smile like nothing really happened.

I'm telling you this man is a manipulator and gaslighter! there's no way he's not.

Nikki can manipulate in several ways. He might use emotional manipulation to play on your feelings and make you doubt yourself or your own thoughts and opinions.

He could use intellectual manipulation, where he uses reason and logic to get you to agree with him. He could gaslight you, where he alters reality and convinces you that your own memory of an event is wrong. He could even use guilt or fear to get you to do what he wants.

Overall, he uses his intelligence, charisma, and your feelings towards him to manipulate you to get what he wants.

If Nikki ended up making you cry, he would probably feel guilty and try to make amends after he came down from his aggressive or mean behavior.

He might apologize and try to make things better between you two, it depends on how far he took things, but he would likely feel regretful for making you cry and wouldn't want to see you upset. he'd probably say things like “I didnt mean it like that” in a slight pissy tone but hugging you at the same time.

but he doesn't ever really wanna make you cry. it doesn't bring him pleasure and he always ends up feeling guilty.

[seonghwacore]

let me cook. (an unexpectedly thanksgiving full course)

tagging @ye-xiu and @lavandulacosmos idk if you wanna read my brainrot but pls give it a chance im coping so bad 😭

i've read several theories surrounding k.will's mv, which i don't like the ending at all fck u screenwriter. but i noticed this one so let me, boil it to perfection.

my theory abt the wristwatch in "no sad song for my broken heart" is more simple yet symbolic. it didn't imply time travel or a scifi plot but more of the story's timeline? i assume, the wristwatch in the mv wasn't functioning as an individual's possession but more like a way to tell us when their time stopped. like, how our life stopped in 2019 for some of us?

in the beginning of the mv, the scene showed a broken wristwatch with the year function set to number "12" and the hands pointing to "10:11". the hand was clearly inguk's.

while i know this is please, don't mv release date, as the please don't mv enjoyers, i immediately understood that this was when inguk's time stopped. when jaehyun married dasom in the mv, he knew there'd be no more chance for him to pursue jaehyun or even simply, to tell him his true feelings. he drove away silently back then, not saying a word. this is why his time stopped in 2012.

meanwhile, at the end of the mv, the scene showed that the wristwatch was perfectly fine, no scratch, was brand new, and was encircling jaehyun's wrist instead. the year was "24" and the watch's hands were pointing at 06:20. WHICH WAS, YESTERDAY IN MY TIME OR STILL TODAY IN THE OTHER PART OF THE WORLD.

again, that was a symbol to the mv's release date. BUT WHOSE TIME ALSO ENDED THAT DAY?

HIM.

"then it's just symbolizing inguk's end of time then 🤨" well, whose hand was that wristwatch on? it's on jaehyun's wrist. following the logic from the first scene, then it's most possible that the wristwatch symbolized jaehyun's "time". tragically, jaehyun seemed to understand his feelings towards the other man very much later. he had no time to fully develop and understand his feelings towards inguk and of course, a chance to be with him.

(gahd i planned to stop here but i was seeing everything suddenly)

the row of happy scenes, to me, was more like his delusion and regrets. things he could and would do if only inguk reconnected with him. im not sure tho how he finally realized his feelings but MAYBE, this was the reason of his "mv divorce". maybe, they were still in contact but was obviously limited. in another universe, we'd get the answer, guys.

exhibit #1: he would stay connected with inguk, shown by this exchanging number scene. literally fck u scriptwriters for making grown ass dude crying

maybe they were just, like, linked in acquaintances just sent e/o happy birthday or congratulate each other for promotions asjdalsd

exhibit #2: he'd want to update him that he's already divorced.

LOOK AT BRO'S SMILE??????? in jaehyun's mind, if he announced the news to inguk, he would've gone full smile like that. and he wanted to see that.

exhibit #3: he'd reconcile, have a hearty conversation with inguk over drinks, reliving their fun bachelor nights and obviously, take care of him.

(maybe this was how inguk died???)

now, this is a bit hard but, exhibit #4: he imagined that they'd go into this awkward, pining moments, wondering if inguk would still have a crush on him.

this part was actually confusing because he opened his eyes, as if he knew something. but what did he know? what did he expect from inguk? or did he begin to realize that this was all just his delusion?

NOW. this is going a bit longer than i thought i didn't mean to do a full analysis gosh but this is even crazier to think about. when inguk said his line, about saying things he couldn't say and whether he could hug him just once. this line is weird tbh but eventually makes sense.

we backtrack to these scenes first.

after getting his phone, jaehyun's calling him to make sure it's the correct number. but why inguk seemed... rather worried? again, following my logic with the wristwatch, the phone was just a symbol. jaehyun was holding onto inguk AND his soul. then, how does this relate to inguk's worried face?

we're entering the afterlife realm.

starting from this scene. there's a belief that butterfly in association with death is a messenger from the passing loved ones. in some k-dramas, noticeably "goblin", butterfly represented gods or the supreme being. the butterfly in this scene symbolized that inguk already passed away. it's his time to go.

however, jaehyun "found" him and even asked for his number. so, when the call "connected" it meant jaehyun had yet, once again, clung on his memories and soul. in some cultures, and again there's a k-drama reference that's "sell your haunted house", sometimes the family of the dying person will be asked to let the person go. in the sell your haunted house, hong jia's refusal to let go of her trauma locked her mother's powerful ghost in her house.

guess who's locked in their "house" as well?

and he's wearing white outfit as well, which is often believed to be your afterlife mandatory outfit color. then inguk "called" jaehyun, in a hope, he could wake jaehyun up and let him go. so, the sequence of happiness began.

so, inguk's expression was rather worried when jaehyun called him instead of overjoyed. because he didn't want jaehyun to be stuck in his regrets and delusion.

now, back to this scene.

this was probably inguk's last straw. the scene reminded me of "it's okay it's love" where jo insung gave do kyungsoo's shoes. the act was done to let go of his hallucination from his childhood trauma.

inguk, telling jaehyun how he actually felt and did it through a physical hug, was like an act of letting go. and he hoped that jaehyun's mind would be more at ease now that jaehyun had known his feelings and jaehyun had understood HIS OWN feelings. he hoped that the hug could finally calm jaehyun's storm so jaehyun could be at peace with his own regrets.

then, inguk proceeded to leave because he had to. leave to the afterlife. but after fighting his own struggle, jaehyun called him again. shouted even.

HE RUSHED BACK but jaehyun was stupefied. and the scene later showed that jaehyun was alone in the tunnel.

my big assumption was inguk rushing back to him was also jaehyun's desired response, that inguk would come back to him every time he called. he did, but i think, inguk's death was related to the tunnel or the train. so, when inguk rushed back to him, the train passed by above him with the alarm sound, and jaehyun woke up from his hallucination alone.

a wilder theory is the train was a symbol that it's time for inguk to really go. it served as a "transportation" to the afterlife. that's why inguk wasn't seen anymore after that.

the rest is history.

kidding, we still have this. this time, the scene showed that jaehyun didn't call inguk.

the road, the terrain, elevating to a certain degree, somehow looked like as if he's going to a higher place. and he's not stopping. he kept going, not turning back. so, that's when jaehyun realized, he really needed to let inguk go and rest in peace.

my madness shall end here.

[anemoiashifts]

persistence, the self concept & phrasing in reality shifting. (& manifesting).

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

i brushed on this a few posts ago & wanted to expand upon it. what you need to understand, you are not trying to convince yourself that you have shifted or have manifested something. you already have your desire. you don’t need to think about how or when your going to shift because you already have.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

“Creation is finished…all that you have & will ever be — in fact, all that mankind ever was or ever will be, exists now.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

when you’re trying to convince yourself, what people tend to do is look for exterior confirmations instead of looking inward. if this is you, you don’t have that sense of knowing & are depending on the 3d to validate your desires. you’re waiting until you see those sublimonal results. you’re waiting until you see your desired reality bedroom. you’re waiting until you’re offered that position you’ve been wanting. the mistake you’re making is that “waiting period”.

before i go any further, i acknowledge doubts are normal. in fact , i struggle to believe in shifting & im not saying you have to 1000% believe in your ability every second. i did a survey on people who have shifted vs people who haven’t shifted yet & it came out that there was no really no difference between the two. while this may not be everyone’s case, this information can still benefit.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ persist.

to persist means to push through something even through challenge. in this case, it’s until your desired outcome materializes. if you’re willing to be persistent in the feelings that you’ve received your manifestations, you’ve pretty much finished half the battle.

i see this sometimes on the r/subliminal subreddit. someone makes a post saying “ive been listening to ___ sub for a while & i haven’t gotten results”. then, someone asks op “how long have you been using it?” to which the original poster says “i month on and off.” subliminals work different for everyone, yes, but consistently & making sure you don’t fall out of “the wish fulfilled” mindset is so so important. that’s apart of persistence.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ self concept.

“Healthy, wealth, beauty & genius are not created; they are manifested by the arrangement of your mind — that is by the concept of yourself.”

how one views yourself does play a part. a while ago i saw someone say something along the lines of “shifting is my only escape from this life”. while i felt for that person, that mindset may be holding that person back. manifestations are able to materialize from that internal sense of knowing. all manifestation is, is the 3d mirroring your inner world — what you already know. if your constantly thinking negative, you will notice more things “wrong” with yourself, the world. your brain is only conforming what you already know as your body likes to be proven right.

if you have a higher, more positive, outlook on yourself, in turn the world will become a more positive place. an example, let’s say if you live your life smiling at everyone you see on the street. chances are you’ll get smiles back at you in return because you smiled rather then if you didn’t. the world has become a more positive place for you.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ self talk.

“I will (be) is a confession that I am not”.

this ties into mindset & self concept. you are making assumptions based on past experiences & patterns. you don’t see your dr around you, so logically, you think you haven’t shifted.

this plays on our assumptions. if you’ve been trying to shift for a long time without “success” it’s no surprise you may feel that trying to shifting is hopeless because you will not shift, based on prior experiences.

for example, 2+2=?

you probably just said “4” in your head because that’s what you’ve been taught & thus have just made an assumption.

comparing this to saying things like “i am ugly” or “i am bad at singing” you believe that to be true about yourself through experience or perspective. our experiences shape us. if we can get a hold of our outlook of our experiences we can change our perception & re-shape those memories to be a positive; to find the good that might have come out of it.

when applying this to shifting, looking at every “failed” shifting attempt as “i am one more night/day closer to my desired reality” or “another version of myself shifted & tomorrow night i am shifting tonight.”

changing your self concept & perception of past experiences, without making assumptions, begins with self talk & being aware of how we speak to ourselves everyday.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

[foosybit]

maaaaaybe we don't idolize pedophile relationships. Like, I understand mayoi is a complex character but he's absolutely Witten to be struggling with having attraction towards boys or men who look very young. He's canonly jerked off to aira sleeping, fantasized about Kohaku (who is 15, mayoi is almost 19) in a sexualized outfit, same for Hiiro, and is attracted to Shinobu because he is small and cute. YES, they are the same age but the REASON he likes him is the issue. I also understand he tries to 'control' it and beats himself up over it but it also doesn't change hes pretty actively just letting himself get off to a fantasy of a guy who looks young. Just something to think about. I guess.

hmmm considering the way this is worded, i think ur just here to get your point across to me, not to actually have an open conversation about this. But I'll at least treat it as good-faith and interact anyway.

I think we just fundamentally interpret the doting part of mayoi in a different way.

Now let's get the first thing out of the way… maybe this has shown up in a story i haven't read but… I don't think mayoi jerking off to aira is canon…? maybe you consider it to have been implied in one of mayoi's "im so sorry i totally didn't do anything suspicious last night!!!" lines, but considering mayoi's mental state, i think he's just kinda… prone to blurting out apologies/assurances for things he hasn't done just cuz he thinks everyone hates him or is at least ready to start hating him at the drop of a hat. But this is just a nitpick and whether or not it's true doesn't significantly affect what I'm about to say.

Other than that, I do think it's worth noting that mayoi is still pretty immature at this point, especially when it comes to feelings that occur within interpersonal relationships considering the fact that he's been isolated until main story. I think you can just as easily argue that he's still trying to sort out how to approach his feelings towards others without having it be a pedophile thing. There can be so many reasons for this. like sexual repression making him not know how to express that side of him appropriately, or making him feel the need to be sexual about things when hes not even horny (yes that happens when ur sexually repressed. trust me. im deep in christian circles irl and in deconstruction spaces online. sexual repression and lack of proper sex ed can fuck you up in the most unexpected ways but also doesnt necessarily have to make u a pedophile…). Or being so used to having other people tell you what you should be feeling that you start melding "what i should think if i find someone cute" and "what i actually think when i find someone cute" together, and could mistake cuteness aggression with having a crush and then enter this "i should feel/think xyz" mindset (i literally logically decided who i 'should' have a crush on based on who i respected the most, and then enacted romantic and sexual fantasies about these people who i genuinely wasn't in love with until maybe highschool. shoutout to the compulsory crushes that come with being queer and also just learning about yourself and your emotions in a highly amatonormative world).

What I'm saying through all of this is that mayoi's doting doesn't have to be inherently pedophilic and something that he needs to get rid of entirely. he can continue to be a lover of cute boys and have that at its core not be pedophilic. he can find shinobu attractive and its core reasons don't have to be because he "looks young," it can just be cuz he's cute and mayoi's still sorting out how he deals with his affection for cuteness and is still in the process of divorcing cuteness from youngness in his mind and vocabulary. Again, considering mayoi's implied culty and isolated background, it's not a stretch to think that a lot of his thoughts and feelings have not quite had the chance to mature yet. Especially with something as complicated to detangle as your sexual identity, doubly so if you're queer.

We already know mayoi needs therapy badly, so i don't think the only answer to his strangeness has to be pedophilia that he must overcome. And he also might not have sexual repression be the first thing he tries to address when he currently has literal disabling anxiety and other more pressing issues to address. Part of accepting a complicated character is also accepting them in an imperfect state and not just depriving them of living life and being happy just cuz they have stuff they need to work on. But! You can also decide that the way mayoi acts around younger guys is unforgivable to you personally, and decide that it's too much for you to handle emotionally to hold space for anything that comes close to pedophilia. You might want absolutely nothing to do with anything that resembles pedophilia at all. That's ok too, but will not be the way everyone approaches this side of him. And mayoshino has more going for it apart from just unresolved sexual repression, so i still do think it can stand up past it (more on that after the next paragraph). So, just cuz the writers might be making him an average counterpart to highlight shotabait and might be 'written to be' attracted to young boys doesn't mean we can't bring our own experiences into our interpretations.

Recognizing that writers have their own biases when writing, and recognizing that these characters are partially other people's biased depictions of the real people they perceive in their lives, and then choosing how you interpret a character appropriately is super important to do imo. especially when approaching sort of stereotyped characters in a franchise that'll go out of its way to make queerness as non-canon and only implied as possible in order to reach the largest audience. you've gotta know that 'mentally ill gay pedo' is a bad faith depiction even when it's on a modern-day handsome fictional man like mayoi (always always be wary of how mentally ill people get depicted and the specific traits/flaws they get given. you will often find biases against minorities). humoring bad faith aspects of characters on a surface level can only take you so far before you start saying weird/unempathetic things about minority characters without realizing it, you know? It's always good to take canon with a grain of salt and feel free to divorce them from certain aspects they're written to have, especially from larger franchises that don't have minority rep as their top priority. and you know what, it's also fine to subscribe to a bad-faith interpretation of a character, i do it all the time too cuz sometimes it's cathartic to be annoyed by a character and/or their actions (more on that after the next paragraph).

Another thing that's strange is the implication that the only reason mayoi loves shinobu is because he's small and cute? Or at least is the primary reason for the attraction. Sure that may have been what initially brought him to try and get close to shinobu, but i don't think that's the only factor in why he's still so attached or why i like them together. Shinobu truly cares for and respects him, always assumes the best of him even when mayoi truly thinks he shouldn't, goes out of his way to try and make mayoi feel more included with others, constantly suggesting mayoi for roles, etc. Not to mention that mayoi isn't always just doting the entire time when around shinobu. Yeah he's in a neutral state of doting when around shinobu (not inherently a bad thing), but they chat about the occult stuff mayoi's into, mayoi can vent his frustrations of himself to him and in return mayoi does actively comfort shinobu when he's down too, and mayoi supports shinobu's ideas and still does actively engage in ninja training and helps shinobu master his techniques. To assume that all of this doesn't play a significant role in mayoi's continuous active devotion to shinobu is just a bad-faith reading of mayoi's relationship with shinobu. And maybe you'd consider that assuming this is a significant part of mayoi's attraction is an overly good-faith reading of mayoi and giving one-off lines that go against his general characterization too much credit.

The fun part is that we can both have different readings/interpretations of the same character and one of us doesn't have to be unequivocally wrong. Viewing mayoi as someone who's tryna overcome pedophilia isn't bad if that's the reading you like the most or makes the most sense to you or helps you process your life better or whatever the reason may be, just respect the fact assumptions were made to get to that point, and other people will fill in the blanks in different ways.

[nomeniko]

hi :D for the ask game What do you wish more people understood about kazui? Which trial 2 MV do you enjoy the most, and why?

thank you for the ask i would grovel at ur feet in gratitude i hope the sun shines down and makes the light dance for u and you only today

1. if anything ive seen a few theories of kazui possibly revealing himself to be a two faced manipulator of sorts due to his self proclaimed liarness…. like ‘ohh u cant trust what he says he cld be trying to make himself look pitiable to the audience to get voted inno’ sort of theories which is. no he wont do that???

is he a liar? to a degree yes—liar not in the sense that what he says are direct falsities, but more like hes built much of his character to constantly disguise his true intentions/feelings as a defense mechanism. the lies he says are less of words from a schemer and more of redirections from someone who is, all in all, an insecure adult scared of what will happen if he isnt able to meet peoples expectations of him

as much as he calls himself a liar hes mad honest about where he thinks his capabilities lie, which is to say he doesnt believe in his capabilities at all lol. when amane asks him for help with her studies, he turns her down after some consideration bc he doesnt believe himself to be smart enough to help (despite having graduated from a university; sports degree or not credit shld be given where credit is due). when he talks to shidou post ktk attack, he refuses to admit doing any of the work in taking care of the situation and instead puts all the praise onto shidou. even his physical strength and skill (which is arguably the one part of him he does acknowledge and take some sort of belief in) is something he treats as less of something that he has achieved himself and more of an obligation of his—like, hes strong bc to him he HAS to be, bc it is expected of him to protect those who need protecting. he does want to protect others, sure, but much of that wanting comes frm how ingrained it is in him that thats what hes good for, thats what his strength is for (his timeline w/ yuno on her bday says as much nyway)

the way i see it, that self deprication of his plays back into his obsession with meeting the expectations placed onto him, or at least lessening the disappointment of others by lessening those expectations in the first place. if u tell someone that u didnt go to the right university, that u didnt do much to help anyway, that u were born so fundamentally wrong as a person that everything is bound to go to shit as long as ur there (he basically said this to es in his t1 vd im not even kidding), wouldnt that ensure the safety that youre less likely to ruin someone elses confidence in you? less likely to ruin bc in the small chance that u still fuck up, theres not much left to ruin at that point

in the end ig what i wish more ppl understood abt kazui is that hes a liar yes, but not a manipulator. he lies to stay safe, not to be a sadist or whatever. you cant take what he says at face value (in much the same way u cant do the same for any other prisoner tbh), but that does not mean u shldnt take anything he says srsly at all!!!

2. ok this one i have to give a bit of thought, mostly bc i cant pick just one

if the standards were which t2 mv do i enjoy for its direction music n visual wise, purge march takes the cake so quickly. the music itself is so bomb (which like, i cant even find a logical explanation as to why… its just so good to listen to) n the mv itself does such a great job at creating the right atmosphere, both in its flashy theatrics and the subtle uncanniness under it. mayb i have a slight bias bc tpm was the whole reason i got into milgram in the first place, but i stand by it idccc

aesthetic wise, def all knowing and all agony. the horror elements r genuinely disturbing, but not so overbearing that it overwrites the pop style that milgram has going on. i luove the use of amber for blood, plus the filters that remind me of found footage u usually see show up in asian horror movies. i think i was actually terrified the first time i watched the mv

symbolic wise, its cat always and forever god bless. it takes advantage of its aesthetics to hint at subtle secrets so well that it makes me giddy as hell. the use of colors as a part of the set, the transitions frm scene to scene having its own part in making the story, n honestly making the bg more blank than usual readjusts the focus of the mv on what matters p well. i cant mention every detail rn or else id be here all day

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

hi, indian anon here ( I think I used the ⏳️) ig you can say I'm an ex swiftie, but in the sense that I was never exposed to western music until evermore and I listened to it and loved it. I never engaged with the fandom or anything, and didn't even know all these things taylor did, and I thought taylor was a decent person because of the documentary. This was until ofc, the matty healy incident which opened my eyes to her behavior, but idky I felt like I couldn't openly dislike her. Everyone in my school was obsessed with her and if you're a girl, and you hated her, or even disliked her, you were a pick me, and I didn't wanna get hated on more by my classmates (long story there). The last straw for me was prolly when 1989 tv was released (after the mh incident I just called myself a swiftie cuz I liked her earlier work) and I had joined an online swiftie group chat, and the people there were so vile and hateful. I remember saying it's wrong hating on harry styles for cheating on her cuz she did the same, or that Joe alwyn is just a regular dude, and so are all her other exes, except prolly matty and the John Mayor guy for dating a 19 y/o (SHE ALSO DATED MINORS THO??? no one talked about this shit) and I mentioned that she's not god and that she has done bad things, and the gc, which had 50 active members everyday, collectively not only hated on me, but also these people had access to my private insta acc. My face, my friends, my address, they knew it all. It was so scary, and while I have been in plenty of toxic fandoms before (my first death threats were by the hp fandom, which I've left long back), I actually felt threatened. It actually felt like a cult, and it was scary until my insta acc got shut down (idky), and the ppl couldn't find me anymore. The swiftie fandom is weird at best, and potential criminals at worst, because wtf. They don't have any sort of individual thinking, and if someone does, they will find a way to shut it down. Even now, when I interact with a swiftie and taylor Swift comes up, and I say I don't like her, their behavior is just like the ones online. Ik ppl get more confidence to do bad things online cuz of anonymity, but swifties are the same irl, too. They completely believe it is okay to treat ppl terribly, harass and spread disgusting rumors and even doxx a Palestinian woman and give her details to Isreali organization. Like that actually happened. I regret that I didn't leave the fandom sooner because I can't believe I was associated with something like this. Ik celebrities make mistakes, and that fandoms always have one toxic portion, but this is too much.

Sorry for the long rant tho 😅

- ⏳️

sorry it took me a while to respond, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING in this ask. like 3 diff asks rolled into one omfg

1. peer pressured into “continuing” to like taylor swift you are a different kind of victim im so sorry you went through that (and all to prevent you from being bullied…im so sorry)

2. THE SWIFTIE GROUPCHAT: that is horrible and TERRIFYING. all you did was practice critical thinking and you feared for your SAFETY. their reactions are not logical nor rational and speak to how dangerous her fanbase is.

if you feel like you cannot call out your fave for their behavior without your safety being threatened, that is not a fanbase, that is a cult. i think we should actually did a venn diagram of swifties and cults we’d have a perfect circle.

3. SWIFTIES IRL: this is so true about how they behave. ive had friends tell me theyre scared of saying they hate taylor IRL cause of the backlash they’d receive. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. even when BTS was at their peak ppl never felt threatened by the ARMY to that point 😭

you NEED to send more info/links/ss about the doxxed palestinian. i need the #SwiftiesforPalestine to see wtf their mutuals are doing. that is ABHORRENT behavior. that poor woman!

thank you sm for this ask, u are truly one of god’s strongest soldiers cause wtf!!!! is wrong!!!! with swifties!!!!!

(p.s. if you are a repeat anon go ahead and sign off your asks with an emoji so i can keep track! thank you!)

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

About the election and modern society’s woes -

First off, I don’t really know what to think about Joe Biden dropping out of the election. His speech was lackluster, n I wasn’t blown away by but it didn’t feel like it made the world crash around me either.

Sadly, so many folks out there can only think two ways u either love or hate something. This goes for Biden too. They think if I hate trump, i sump to automatically worship Biden. There’s no in between. It floors me that this lack of logic exists. These folks cannot fathom that u can simply be ok with a person. He’s ok to me. He didn’t do anything super mind blowing impressive, but he’s not bad either.

Now, getting back to the election - so many others thought differently. Ok, fine. Whatever. The next problem is, what will u replace him with? Will that be enough to save us from another 4 years of the tyrant? This is our REAL concern. I’ve heard folks celebrating Biden dropping out, but they celebrate too early. I’m not going to celebrate Biden dropping out, because that doesn’t concern me. I do feel he was forced, but I also wish him well. Whatever, this is less important to me.

IM AFRAID OF WHAT WE MAY WIND UP WITH.

At the same time, society (especially on the left admittedly - and I say this being a liberal, because godforbid ur critical of ur own….wing or whatever - ) is filled with -

And whilst this is definitely true, for most folks, that’s it. That’s all they can comprehend, all they can see in the argument, and it becomes a competition. If only it were that simple. Sadly these generalisations are equally dangerous. They employ the same attitude as the ‘there’s no in between’. This is the excuse folks apply when u r uncomfortable with immodesty. They right away think that u want folks covered head to toe in a burqua. (They’d b shocked to learn that some of us r fine with sleeveless tops n shorts, as long as they r like 6 inches above the knee, n tits, bellies, n genitals r covered!) There’s no asking or clarify, no willingness to listen to ur explanation. I get branded racist, misogynist, homophobic, or even worse, because they need to project. U hit a sore spot that they can’t handle. This goes for either side - not just liberal, not just conservative. The truth is that there is often more to the story. Not all women are innocent. Not all r guilty. Not all men r innocent, nor are all guilty either. I’m going to say this louder for those in the back -

ANY GENDER CAN COME INTO POWER AND ABUSE IT.

There has been in increase in a certain petty completion between sexes for ages now, n I’ve seen in for several decades already. One side is like ‘we’re the best n that’s it. They give flimsy, misguided, or sometimes no reasoning behind this. The other then reacts with the same tactics. It makes everyone look foolish. Neither side thinks of common sense nor respect. It’s a very entitled, privileged, and damn right delusional way to think. It’s sadly also an increasing sign of the times. It’s not new, but it’s definitely not going away, and becomes a more mainstream way to think. We ALL need to change for the better. Thank you for coming to me ted talk. Here’s Gordon lol

[psychabolition]

Why and how do you reject diagnoses , treatment and recovery?

The why is answered quickly ,. For a lot of us "treatment" doesnt help or actively harms us . Its not uncommon to face psychiatric abuse as part of your treatment plan: including conversion therapy, physical violence, social ostracization /isolation, stigmatization or severe side effects from psychiatric drugs which can include brain damage and death .

So how do we stop thinking that we need treatment from professionals to feel better and to lead a life that we enjoy when we know it doesnt help us ? The biomedical model and its logic make us feel this way. We're told that we have an illness that causes our pain and that can only be treated by doctors and psychologists. But this model is inherently contradictory and that we have an "illness" thats the cause of our pain has never even been scientifically proven . If youre labelled with depression you dont have low serotonin, if youre labelled with schizophrenia theres no genetic defect, if youre labelled as adhd/autism your brain doesnt look different than the brain of people without the label. "mental disorders" are not an "illness" by medical standards.

Also, the logic of the model doesnt really make sense. Your 'mental illness' can never "cause" anything because its solely a descriptive label (every psychologist will admit this !! - all diagnoses are just a list of descriptions of specific behaviors/experiences/ways of thinking), its never the reason for anything. I think we need to avoid the circular logic of "well i do x because i have y condition (which was diagnosed based on clinician observations of x) and my brain is simply broken in a way requiring me to submit to expert clinical management and surveillance". I think its highly misleading to talk about symptoms of an illness since saying 'I am suicidal because Im depressed' is the same as saying 'Im suicidal because Im suicidal'(remember: its only a descriptive label!!) - it doesnt explain anything. I think its really unhelpful and also simply not scientifically backed up to think about any experiences/struggles/distress that we have no matter how unusual/painful/norm deviation as an 'illness' of our minds/brains.

The way I depathologize myself and reject the (bio)medical model is by saying that I think of a lot of the experiences that got me diagnosed and that also made me label myself as "ill/disordered" as simply a deviation from "neuronormativity" (=whats societally deemed 'normal' to think/feel/do depending on your assigned gender/age/socioeconomic status/...). So when I say that "Im neurodivergent" what I mean is that I "deviate from neuronormativity". And when people are not neurodivergent I say that theyre "neuroconform" - which simply means that they manage to conform to what society expects of them .

If you define neurodivergency in this way it includes 1) suffering more severely in our current society than others do 2) being neurodivergent because of positive experience and/or negative experiences that youve made 3) your neurodivergency also includes experiences that havelnothing to do with the reason why you got labelled as ill/sick/dysfunctional/disordered . Like being politically radical in some way - like for example if youre a communist or an anarchist or queer or simply just very different and norm deviating . 4) it includes queerness that is currently pathologized (I like to use the concept neuroqueer).

These new concepts and understanding of myself made me get better in the sense that I trusted again, after years, that only I know whats best for myself . And to be true medication and therapy has only ever harmed me and made me get worse. I can now ask myself whats actually causing my pain and struggles, and its never been my own brain that simply " reacts wrong " . When Im doing really bad it always has a real cause in my real life and theres always something that can be done (even if this means overthrowing the current social order in society)