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Children Once Again : ÌÌâ Lando Norris
summary: when youâre invited to the f1 as an ambassador the last face you expect to see is that of your childhood best friend
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by mclaren, landonorris and 792,057 others
ynusername: such an honour to be in monza to watch the grand prix, thank you so much to mclaren for the awesome hospitality đ§Ą
68,472 comments
username1: no way you finally for to go to a race!
mclaren: it was an honour to welcome you and host you at your very first f1 race đ§Ą
username2: hope you had the best time ever yn â€ïž
kendalljenner: told you that youâd absolutely love it đ
ynusername: @/kendalljenner I shouldâve listened to you!
username3: ngl she seemed to be really close with lando when they were around the paddock together!
oscarpiastri: thank you for being such an awesome guest to have with us this weekend!
username4: papaya really suits you btw yn đ
username5: and you got to go to monza too, thatâs one of the best races on the circuit!!!
landonorris: canât believe we finally got to see each other again, letâs not leave it so long next time đ
ynusername: @/landonorris youâre still just as annoying as ever đ
username6: wait wtf is going on hereâŠdid they already know each other??
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by oscarpiastri, kendalljenner and 837,018 others
ynusername: never in a million years did I think Iâd get reunited with this guy, nearly 14 years later and weâre back together again đ„č
71,950 comments
username7: wait so they were friends at school and reconnected? omg thatâs adorable
username8: see the f1 really does change lives đ
georgerussell63: how you managed to put up with him growing up is crazy to me!
ynusername: @/georgerussell63 it was hard work at times đ
username9: I can just imagine them causing so much trouble when they were younger!!
landonorris: 14 years to make up for but the rest of our lives to be back together causing mischief again!!
username10: look at how happy lando looks to be back with her again
mclaren: weâre so pleased we could unknowingly bring the two of you back together again đ§Ą
ynusername: @/mclaren I owe you guys so much for inviting me in the first place
username11: this is just the sweetest story ever đ
oscarpiastri: at least I donât have to listen to you guys reminiscing anymore đ
username12: so happy they got to reunite together đ„ș
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liked by danielricciardo, ynusername and 2,038,173 others
landonorris: a dream weekend with my childhood best friend, still feeling just like big kids and like weâve never not been each otherâs lives đ„č
73,067 comments
username13: and youâre sure sheâs just a friend are you???
alex_albon: these photos suggest youâve had more than just a dream weekend to me
username14: you can just tell how fond of her lando still is đ
danielricciardo: yeah, sure âjustâ friends đ
username15: who is buying a friend flowers that are that nice!?
ynusername: youâre not gonna be able to get rid of me so easily this time around!
landonorris: @/ynusername good because I donât want you to go anywhere anyway đ„ș
username16: I donât want these two to go their separate ways again đ
maxverstappen1: youâve known me since we were kids and yet you donât hug me like that đ€š
landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 stop reading so much into things đ
username17: youâre not kidding anyone norris đ
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liked by oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 782,607 others
ynusername: the first photo was lando when I surprised him at the race, now compare that to the last one after spending four hours with me đđ§Ą
73,058 comments
username18: they couldnât even stay away from each other for more than a week!!
maxverstappen1: I can so see why you two were the best of friends after meeting you đ
username19: just look at how excited he is to see her đ„ș
danielricciardo: it was a joy to meet you here and hear so many childhood stories of landoâs!!
username20: ofc cause only a friend would do something like this right??
landonorris: stop lying to people, I really was happy to have you here for the whole time đ
ynusername: @/landonorris thatâs why you banished me to the paddock for most of the afternoon đ
username21: it breaks my heart knowing they spent so long apart when they seem to get on so wellâŠ
carlossainz55: it was fun embarrassing lando with you for the whole weekend!!!!
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I had no idea he was still as stupid as he was back in school đ€Šđ»ââïž
username22: he loves spending time with you really yn đ
oscarpiastri: Iâm sure I saw him shed a tear when you told him you had to go
landonorris: @/oscarpiastri definitely tears of joy!!
username23: we really missed out on this friendship for so many years!
alex_albon: still sticking with the friendship storyline I seeâŠ
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ynusername just posted two stories
replies
alex_albon: if you went out with one youâd be a true passenger princess!
ynusername: when do you plan on letting this go??
username24: can you two just hurry up and date already?
georgerussell63: look at how handsome he is yn, you canât deny it đ
username25: put us out of our misery please and just announce it!
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
danielricciardo: why are you two kids holding hands!?
username26: I still refuse to accept that you two are just friends!
username27: are you playing us all by pretending to just be friends?
charles_leclerc: when will you two just wake up and see it??
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 2,492,613 others
landonorris: donât tell her but I secretly loved her back in school all those years ago, and I guess itâs fair to say I still love her just as much now â€ïž
203,362 comments
username28: finally theyâve given us what we wanted for so long đđ»
alex_albon: canât believe you tried to convince me that you two werenât dating đ
oscarpiastri: couldnât be happier for the two of you đ„°
username29: these two are the perfect reason as to why you should believe in destiny đ
danielricciardo: this might just be the worst kept secret in the world!!
carlossainz55: i feel like Iâve watched a movie watching your romance unfold đ„ș
username30: the fact heâs always been in love with her melts me đ«
charles_leclerc: well arenât you guys just the cutest đ
username31: please donât ever lose contact with each other again!
georgerussell63: you guys are perfect for each other, so pleased you managed to find one another again
username32: all these years and yet none of us knew that he actually only ever had eyes for herâŠ
mclaren: congratulations to you both, secretly weâre taking all the credit for this đ§Ą
landonorris: @/mclaren you guys can absolutely take credit, thank you for inviting yn all those weeks ago!
username33: this is the kinda romance that everyone dreams of, only this time it actually came true đ§Ą
ynusername: it was only ever you đ
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#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one#formula 1 x you#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#lando norris social media#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris au#lando norris x reader#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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You know what, yeah, that bell hooks quotation wasn't appropriate, it doesn't say what the person who added it think it says.
But I don't think it's fair to say that that man who everyone is pissing on somehow claimed we had to "hold his hand" or "coddle" him or whatever. Or even that women had to do it.
He never once even mentioned the word 'woman' in that post. I'm not excluding that that what he was implying - it's very possible! - but what he said was "the left", and let's be clear, this is his understanding of what the left is. I saw people saying that a "self-proclaimed leftist" should understand that his answer was still drenched in patriarchal thinking. But he never once proclaimed he was a leftist. Perhaps he thinks he is, but all he said was that he got "out" of the "alt-right". For all we know, that means he voted for the Democratic Party and we, who are on the left, all know that's not the fucking left.
The question that was posed was how do we keep young men from turning right wing, and he offered an explanation. An explanation! Not an excuse! Again something that a lot of people just assumed.
And yes, it was a flawed explanation, and yes he has some things to learn, and yes it was uncritical and terribly phrased.
But can we recognise that not everyone has the necessary critical thinking skills to completely dig their way out of the overarching ideology that fucking rules our lives? Critical thinking skills aren't something that we are born with. It's something that is learned, something that you have to train. It's a never-ending project. And from what I know of the educational system in the US? That's not where you get it.
Speaking of bell hooks, at least she understands this. In that book (The Will to Change) she writes that "most men never think about patriarchy - what it means, how it is created and sustained." She writes how the patriarchy sees men's violence and the one emotion they're allowed to have, anger, as "natural". Understanding the patriarchy is something that has to be learned, and you either figure it out yourself by reading, but most of us probably had someone in our lives who talked to us about it, taught us about it, and then we might have started reading more about it.
What if you don't have someone like that? What if all you hear is that the things feminists tell you is bad is what was imprinted on you as "natural" to you?
Here's bell hooks:
Yet no one talks about the role patriarchal notions of manhood play in teaching boys that it is their nature to kill, then teaching them that they can do nothing to change this natureânothing, that is, that will leave their masculinity intact.
Here's what she says of her own brother:
As patriarchal thinking and action claimed him in adolescence, he learned to mask his loving feelings. He entered that space of alienation and antisocial behavior deemed ânaturalâ for adolescent boys.
She clearly pinpoints the moment of these patriarchal ideas taking hold to be in adolescent, and the question that was posed was, what can we do to stop that from happening? I've seen people say that nothing can be done until we change the material conditions that make it so that men systematically have power over women. And yeah, undoubtedly that is a fight we need to have. But is that truly the only way we can keep (some) boys from falling into the grasp of the (alt-)right? Is there no hope in at least reaching them in the meantime?
I've seen a post saying, "omg of course he goes for misandry" and while misandry isn't real in that men are not systematically oppressed, that doesn't mean that there aren't some out there who express hatred or disgust of men. That's not what the left stands for, obviously, but it is not absent. Here are some comments from the notes on some of these reaction posts (and presumably these are all people who consider themselves leftists):
"you should be hunted for sport"
"makes me want to commit homocide"
"kys right now"
"'leftists constantly said i should die' yeah fucking right"
"we need to double male loneliness and I'm not even kidding"
"I HATE MEN AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. THEY HATE US MORE AND THEY HAVE ALL THE POWER TO DO ACTUAL HARM TO US. Misandry is NOT FUCKING REAL but I wish it was"
"we should kill people who don't get it"
Is that hatred of men (non-systematically)? Not all of it, but some of it definitely or possibly qualifies. And it sure does look like some people (who probably think themselves leftists) think this man (or men in general) are the "scum of the earth" and that they want him/them dead. How else do you interpret some of these phrases?
Now imagine that this is something that you encounter online, and with the help of the stranglehold of the patriarchy, whispers of right wing ideology, confirmation bias, and negativity bias? I can imagine you might end up concluding they "hate you for your immutable traits" (remember patriarchy teaches boys that violence and anger is natural to them) and that they "blame you for everything that's wrong in the world".
Is that the right conclusion? No. But as much as being able to use reason is part of being human, so is not being immune to ideology and propaganda. We wouldn't fucking be where we are right now if that wasn't the case.
How do we teach boys that anger and violence aren't "immutable traits"? How do we educate them about the power of the patriarchy? Well, where does it have to come from if not from the fucking left?
Does it have to be you? No. Does it have to be women? Also no. It's probably good if it's men, and especially men who themselves walked with the right at some point (if someone has already been pulled into the right, rather than catching them before).
It can be a woman though, if there's someone who wants to do it. I don't mind doing it if someone wants to talk about it. Will I be nice? No, I won't hold back and I will tell them if what they're saying is wrong. Will I coddle them? Fuck no. Will I keep trying if someone clearly isn't listening? No. Will I be compassionate? Yeah, I think I will.
Because compassion is really important when you're trying to keep people from falling into the far-right, or even if you're trying to get them out of it (which again, isn't what we were talking about in the first place).
Here's Pete Simi, professor of Sociology, talking about Life After Hate, an American non-profit that tries to help people leave the far-right:
The organization was started by former hate group members who have been doing a lot of outreach in terms of providing testimonials and trainings to schools and law enforcement and other community groups across the country. The focus of their message is the importance of using compassion to inform prevention and intervention efforts and aftercare for individuals who want to change their lives but may need various types of support. I think LAH is a very promising development and I hope it will continue to find the resources that it needs to expand the services it provides.
Being compassionate doesn't mean coddling. It doesn't mean holding their hands and it doesn't even mean being nice to them. It doesn't exclude holding people accountable for their views. It does require patience, though. And I understand that if someone is holding the belief that you are not allowed to exist, that isn't something you can do. And that's fine. It doesn't have to be you.
But somebody has to do it, and it has to be someone on the left.
Now none of that means that the suffering of men under patriarchy, and the fact that this has to be addressed loud and clear, are more important than the suffering that women, and especially women whose oppression intersects with other levels of oppression. I've seen some tags on reaction posts that stated "omg of course centring men in discussions of gender" - but the post was about men. That was the whole starting point!
Because men do suffer under the patriarchy. And it's pushing them to the right, towards misogyny and racism, unless they develop the necessary critical thinking skills to understand their own suffering. And you know who thinks so too? bell hooks.
Often men, to speak the pain, first turn to the women in their lives and are refused a hearing. In many ways women have bought into the patriarchal masculine mystique. Asked to witness a male expressing feelings, to listen to those feelings and respond, they may simply turn away.
Since men have yet to organize a feminist menâs movement that would proclaim the rights of men to emotional awareness and expression, we will not know how many men have indeed tried to express feelings, only to have the women in their lives tune out or be turned off.
It is a form of abuse that this culture continues to deny. Boys socialized to become patriarchs are being abused. As victims of child abuse via socialization in the direction of the patriarchal ideal, boys learn that they are unlovable.
The patriarchal model that tells men that they must be in control at all times is at odds with cultivating the capacity to be responsible, which requires knowing when to control and when to surrender and let go. Responsible men are capable of self-criticism. If more men were doing the work of self-critique, then they would not be wounded, hurt, or chagrined when critiqued by others, especially women with whom they are intimate. Engaging in self-critique empowers responsible males to admit mistakes. When they have wronged others, they are willing to acknowledge wrongdoing and make amends. When others have wronged them, they are able to forgive. The ability to be forgiving is part of letting go of perfectionism and accepting vulnerability. At the same time, constructive criticism works only when it is linked to a process of affirmation. Giving affirmation is an act of emotional care. Wounded men are not often able to say anything positive. They are the grump-and-groan guys; cloaked in cynicism, they stand at an emotional distance from themselves and others. Affirmation brings us closer together. It is the highest realization of compassion and empathy with others. One of the negative aspects of antimale feminist critiques of masculinity was the absence of any affirmation of that which is positive and potentially positive in male being. When individuals, including myself, wrote about the necessity of affirming men and identifying them as comrades in struggle, we were often labeled male-identified. The women who attacked us did not understand that it was possible to critique patriarchy without hating men. Indeed, recognizing all the ways that males have been victimized by patriarchy (even though they received rewards) was a way of including men in feminist movement, welcoming their presence and honoring their contribution.
âin order to create loving males we need to love malesâ means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they donât become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesnât mean is that itâs our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if weâre really really nice to them and donât say things that hurt their feelings theyâll stop killing us for saying no
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âŻ2 â â GROUPIE LOVE â đđ á”á”
Their tolerance is quickly crumbling under the weight of your relentless, wicked charm. Itâs only a matter of time before their lust spills over. And unfortunately for you, the dam finally breaks during your work shift.
â°â†contains : nanami x beverage cart attendant! female reader x higuruma. no curses au. flirty reader. jealous! nanami. really reaaaally mean higu. THREESOME. public sex. no protection. creampie (yipee). shoko present here. 6k words (it's an easy read trust).
â°â†note : MY HANDS ARE LITERALLY SWEATING PLEASEEE okay wait disclaimer im not a smut writer but i did enjoy writing it hueheu OKAY ENJOY READING MY BFFS ( áŽÍËŹáŽÍ)àŽ (hoping i don't disappoint) (a bit scared).
The harsh rings of the telephone cuts right through Nanami's ears, yet his face remained unresponsive at the sound. It was normal to be surrounded by phone calls, mugs of black coffee, and especially the snores of his coworkers.
A normal day.
Well, not so normal anymore.
From the day he and Higuruma had their eyes on you, life has been something that Nanami looked forward to. It was still riddled by his tiring occupation, but his bi-weekly golf meets with his friend turned his dull life upside down. He might be exaggerating, but that's what a good pussy/ a pretty girl does to him.
"Hey... Why are you looking so dashing all of a sudden, Kento?" His colleague asked from his work cubicle, voice groggy from being woken by his five minute alarm. Although not intending to be rude, Nanami's focus stayed fixed on his screen, typing away whatever he needed to.
"You don't have a girl yet, right?" His co-worker leaned closer to his face, eyes suspecting the blond's hyper-focused gaze. "Right..?"
With a sigh, Nanami answers, "No, I've been playing golf lately." It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either.
"No offense, but Golf? Out of all sports?" Nanami's politeness cracks for a moment, glaring at his colleague at his sudden comment.
"Please, excuse meâ"
Ding!
Their eyes lands on Nanami's laptop where the notification sound came from. It wasn't an ad from a random online website or an alarming message, but rather, an anonymous text from Higuruma.
"Higuruma? Is that your girlâ"
"Please, excuse me, I need to finish my work." Before his coworker could overstep his boundaries, Nanami quickly cuts them off.
A message from Higuruma at this hour was one of the things he least expected. Not only was he occupied with his work, the two actually never texted each other unless needing assistance and their hangouts. Nanami stared at the screen for a moment, then clicked the notification bar.
âDo you have a moment?â It read. Nanami hesitates to respond when Higurumaâs intention still isnât clear to him yet. Another message arrives, this time fully capturing his attention.
âItâs about her.â
Afternoon had already approached, yet your body laid on your silk sheets. Realization has not completely settled and a nagging feeling inside you hammered. You were going on a date with a man you met from work. And you might fuck him tonight.
As the seconds pass by, exhilaration pumped in your veins. Weeks were gone with the wind since you had been spontaneously invited by Higuruma. Ever since then, your nights have been spent by scrolling through online stores for dressesâ one that's sure to weaken his knees. dresses that can be easily slipped off too
On the other hand, your reality was a nightmare for someone else. And that someone was none other than Ieiri Shoko, your best friend, and fellow beverage cart attendant. If she was ever in your situation, she would have ran to the nearest highway and voluntarily approached a ten wheeler truckâ her words, not yours.
"Were you even listening?" Shoko raised her voice, still overshadowed by the loud music from your laptop.
"Can't hear you!" Cautiously, you rolled your hair around the gadget and released it. Roll. Press. Release. Your routine continued while music blasted from your bedazzled speakers. "Or Nah" by The Weeknd and other artists, a filthy song for a filthy womanâ or at least, that's what Shoko said.
"Please stop the music, I'm sick of hearing women moaning and bed squeaking every damn minute,"
"Fine, fine!" With a giggle, you lowered the volume, finally lending an ear to Shoko's daily rant. "What were you saying again?"
Shoko rolled her eyes, "Whatever, I said you look fucking delicious" her deadpan evident in her tone, "Oh, I'm flattered!" Roll. Press. Release. And finally, your hair was done and curled to perfection. Your focus shifted to your makeup bags, another battlefield to enter. But this war was a familiar one, and after a short time, your makeup was done to your liking.
While Shoko released her frustrations through rambling, you busied yourself with your reflection, which you had been staring at for a minute now. The sun had set and the familiar orange hues were streaming from your windows when you had finished. Anticipation crept, and once again, you find yourself daydreaming how the next moments will be. Youâre planning on ending the night without a surprise, and you're certain you wonât be leaving without a catch too. Will he confess his desires through discrete touches? Does his plan include you being brought to his doorstep? Whatever it is, you were in on it. And for it to happen, you wore a good fucking dress to impress Higuruma.
You walked back to your desk and gave Shoko a clear view of your stunning choice of clothing. The sensual yet formal style of your dress heightened your charm even more. One gaze and a man will wonder what lies beneath it. Hopefully, that man will be Higuruma tonight. And hopefully, he takes notice of your daring move of choosing a backless dress. Back exposed and bare, only welcoming his warm touch.
In a trance, Shokoâs lips shut when you asked her, "So, what's the vibe?"
"Uh, hot vibe?"
"No, silly! Like, is it giving a dinner date with your ex-husband and showing up in a revenge dress to seduce him back? Or, is it giving a first date night with the side chick?"
Her mind stalled for a moment, before replying, "Yeah"
âThat was very helpful!â Shoko rolled her eyes at your sarcasm. Your attention was drawn to your phone where a loud ding erupted from. Higurumaâs notification pops, and instantly you were zooming around your room for your final touches. You squealed, earning another annoyed sigh from your friend.
âToodles, Ieri!â And with that, you closed your gadgets shut, sprayed perfume once more and slipped on your heels. One last look at your reflection, and you were good to go. Each step you took was accompanied by the hammering beats of your heart. Before you open your door, you peeked into its peeping hole. Outside, Higuruma idled by your porch, examining your house while his hands clutched a bouquet. You quietly gasped at his sweet surprise.
Finally ready, you swung the door open, âNice to see you here, Sir Hiromi,â his name rolled off your tongue with a teasing lilt, one thatâs daring him to step an inch inside your home. And he would have, because your appearance for tonight was not something that his control could take.
Higuruma wanted to stop time right there and then, at the exact moment you stepped out of your door with flushed cheeks and a dazzling grin. He wanted to take his time in analyzing every curve and inch of your skin. The rise and fall of your chest, the delicate beauty marks adorning your body, the shine of your lips, and that fucking dress. He was only a man after all, and any man would fall to their knees if they ever were graced with your stunning look tonight.
âLovely to see you too,â There was a pause in his words, and although his lips were locked, his mind scrambled for the words to say. âY/N,â
âYes, Sir Hiromi?â
âJust Hiromi tonight, love.â
âHiromi,â His name is followed by a giggle.
The man extended his gift to you, âBefore we go, I want to give you this.â Immediately, the fresh scent of the hand picked peonies and tulips greeted you. Its vibrant colors matched your dress. Your appreciation fell from your lips, and without wasting any more time, the two of you settled inside his sleek black car.
âYouâre comfortable, right?â Higuruma briefly glanced at you, then you replied with a polite smile. You have not even reached your destination yet but you were already drunk. His rich perfume whiffed about in the air, his scent dangerously intoxicating you and fueling your lustful imagination. His choice of clothing was a weapon too; a black tuxedo fitted perfectly on his form. And his nose, how could you ever forget his perfect nose.
Unconsciously, your teeth bit your lip. That damn charm never faded even when he simply drove. Were you reaching your breaking point? Or is it that time of the week again? Whatever, you needed him. The feelingâs mutual though. Higuruma, too, finds you irresistible under the moonlight.
An inner turmoil stirred inside him, though. His hesitance of bringing you to the date gnawed at him gradually. The closer you got, the more he wanted to turn back and drive fast to your house, needing you to be all for himself tonight. But, thereâs no turning back now, not when another surprise is already waiting at the venue.
Higuruma sneaked a glance on your exposed thigh.
Christ.
Did you even know the extent of your control over his restless mind? That, just one more word slipping from your mouth would tilt him over to the edge? His composure is unraveling under the force of your mere presence and youâre so blatantly unaware of it. Your blindness to his suffering tethers him even more to you. Itâs almost indescribable how badly he wants to put himself under you. under your pussy
God, he thought. May God extend his restraint because another moment alone with you will drain all his control.
Aside from his buzzing train of thoughts, the ride to the restaurant was silent. Nevertheless, your unspoken desires spoke for yourselves. A part of Higuruma was also glad you remained still, for hearing your sweet voice might just be the last push.
After a few grueling minutes of fucking you in his own world, the both of you arrived at your destination. Higuruma swiftly led you to your assigned table, where a surprise caught your breath.
âS-Sir Kento?â
Ah, there you are, Nanamiâs object of nightly affection.
And just when you thought your night couldnât get any better, Nanami sat at the booth. His eyes shifted from the menu to yours, capturing yours with a playful glint. Your grip on your purse tightened as Higuruma walked you to him.
âThought it would be nice to have him with us.â Higuruma smiles and gestures for you to sit beside him and you excitedly do so. Albeit your visible shyness, you quickly warm up within their presence. And after some greetings, dinner started.
Your attention shifted to Nanami, who appears to be very sophisticated with his suit and tie. Fuck, itâs embarrasing to admit it but these men have outsmarted you, turning the tables and making you their playtoy instead. Youâre not letting your hard headed self succumb without a fight of course.
When the food arrived, your plan silently commenced. As you bit your meal, your foot brushed against Nanamiâs, earning a warning glance from him. Stubborn, you let your teasing continue. Slowly, you rubbed your heels, tracing lines on his skin that made him tense, before subtly lifting up the ends of his trousers. Nanami decided to clear his throat, as if signaling Higuruma.
âSo, what about you, sweets? You canât be sitting in your room all dolled up everyday.â Higuruma asked, placing his palm on your exposed thigh.
Youâre caught speechless, âIâŠâ You looked up at him, wordlessly begging for mercy as his hand went closer to your clothed sex. Nanami played dumb across you, finding amusement at your predicament.
âOh, me?â You gulped, rushing for a word to say.
âHaha! Iâm actually quite uninteresting once you get to know me.â Your laughter failed to cover the rising tension within the room. And just from Nanamiâs stifled snicker, you knew you were an idiot for even attempting to play it off.
Higuruma went on, âSeriously? No boyfriend to talk to or anything?â You grew hotter under their intense gazes, grappling at your composure to stay under Higurumaâs taunting moves.
âNo.. No boyfriend.â
âYou canât fool adults, angel. A pretty lady like you ought to grab some attention, hm?â
Higuruma squeezes your inner thigh, âA-attention?â
âYeah, your mini skirts were distracting. Or you donât know that either?â Theyâre taunting you and youâre falling for it. Gradually, but surely. Theyâve found your weakness, using it to satisfy their need for humiliation; almost like a punishment for teasing them.
âS-skirtsâŠ? Oh!â Your sentence is interrupted by Higurumaâs sneaky hand that was now placed before your pussy. Dissatisfied with your limited expression, Higuruma pushed your button by grazing his finger on your nub. And for a moment, your face faltered and a short gasp left your lips.
Your mind screamed at him for his teasing, loathing at his want for humiliating you publicly. Yet, your unbridled hatred for him could not mask your desire. Each glide of his finger against your sex was intoxicating. You never thought heâd crossed the line in a restaurant, surrounded by dining visitors and watched intently by Nanami himself. Dread etched onto your face as you helplessly feel your control entangle itself within Higurumaâs lust, bound by your need for excitement.
You lift your head, facing Higuruma with a newfound courage to endure his seduction.
âHiromiââ
ïżœïżœDo you need water?,â He began rubbing his index finger on your clit, âYou look rather flushed.â You struggled to reply when his movement went faster. Embarrassingly, your pussy welcomed his hand, slick pooling in your panties. You canât think straight. Not when Higurumaâs fingers are only quickening by every passing second. Or when Nanamiâs staring at you with such hunger itâs almost primal.
âHiromi, It may be beige this time.â Nanami chimed in, seemingly unbothered by the growing tent in his own pants. âMhm? Oh, I agree with you on that one.â
âW-what are you guys talking abââ
âItâs just a game me and Kento play.â
If it wasnât for the table's long drapes and the cloth on your lap, everyone beside you would have seen the scene. And if it also wasnât for the waiter who asked for the desserts, you wouldâve coated Higurumaâs finger with your cum.
âMay I now serve the desert?â
âPlease do.â Nanami gave the server a smile. And just like that, the tension from earlier dissipated and the two men were now back to normal. They chewed their meals and laughed heartily at their conversations, ignorant to your dazed expression.
The whole dinner went by without any more intrusions and fastly, it had come to an end. You stepped out of the restaurant, arm linked around Higurumaâs with the bouquet in hand while you bid your goodbyes to Nanami. It was unfortunate that your dinner with them had to end, but that means you now have the chance to return their gesture.
It was clear the tension from earlier was still present. With Higuruma failing to keep his attention on the road ahead, and your eyes drifting from the window to his crotch, a few words needed to be said.
âHiromi, that was so unfair!â You pouted, and Higuruma could only chuckle as his response.
âIâll make it up to you,â He looked at you, âWe will make it up to you.â
âHow?â You bit your lip, pressing your legs together to ease your arousal.
âYou know how.â
âBut I donât know how.â Higuruma lets out a soft grunt at your words, caught between annoyance and exhilaration. You canât have your way with him and you know that. Heâs still in control but seeing him lose his insanity over just mere words made you laugh.
âPlease?â Your tone dripped with hoax innocence, pressing onto his patience even more when he stayed silent. âStop being such a gentleman, Sir Hiromi!â
âCarefulâ He warned, âYou might get more than you wish for.â But his statement only added fuel to the fire, igniting another desire within you to see how far you can go.
You swallowed your hesitance, âBut thatâs what I want.â
âTest me one more time, Y/N.â
Was it a threat? An order? Anyway you see it, you will be the one about to be tested. Itâs frightening; you have a zero idea of what he can promise you after pushing his buttons. However, the fear of the unknown sends a sweet ache down your sex only he could relieve. But seeing that youâve pressed him, you might be getting anything but a sweet treat.
âCome on, tell me how youâve been touching yourself to the thought of being shared.â
Your body stiffened at his bold accusation, flinching even.
âOh, was that too much? A sweet girl like you canât handle words like that? Was it too mean, Name?â He mocked you, but your body betrayed his mockery as your pussy dripped with more lust.
âWhere did all that confidence go? Whereâs the girl that will grind on Nanamiâs dick in front of me? Or did my little stunt earlier put you in your place? Perhaps, I need to do more to get it through your skull.â
You clenched your fists, ready to face his tenure, but your voice wavered. âY-youâre the one whoâs mean! You touched me in front of everyone!â
âNow youâre acting like you didnât enjoy itâ like you didnât love Nanamiâs eyes all over you.â His words cut right through the air, striking you a fact that you werenât ready to accept. The sudden hushness of your voice was the only confirmation Higuruma needed. Slowly, his lips contorted into a smile.
His unbelievable behavior with you was uncharacteristic and hardly a reflection of who he used to be; a result of crossing your boundaries. As he drives a kilometer closer and closer to your house, you get to see his true natureâ a hungry, and sadistic man. A man who reveled in your indignity. It wasnât off-putting, though. If anything, it turned you on even more.
Your ride was almost coming to an end, yet none of you spoke up. Higuruma still had that stupid smile on his face, while youâre still shaken from your argument with him. When you arrived at your front porch, you hurriedly stepped out of the car, eager to escape whatever words heâll be saying.
âYouâre mean, Hiromi!â You scowled, stomping to your front door while Higuruma trailed behind without wiping his smile off his face. âMean? I thought you liked that too.â You shot him a mocking smile before pushing your door open. However, Higurumaâs quick to close it shut.
His coy mockery slipped, revealing his genuine concern, âYou⊠still enjoyed it, right?â he asked, needing to be assured. A small giggle ran past your lips, turning around to face the man who held a softer gaze than before. There was a pause in your movement, mind in a dilemma over what your next response should be. But one thingâs for sure; youâre ready for another date, and hopefully it goes past just rubbing you under tables.
Higuruma awaited your next move, curious at your roaming eyes. Suddenly, you started to flicker inexistent dust off his suit and fixed his unmoving tie. You took your time with your fingers, gliding them across his firm chest, unaware of his rapid heartbeat. Grabbing the lapel of his suit, you slowly pulled him into you just close enough to have your lips ghosting over his ear.
âNext time⊠Donât disappoint me, Sir Hiromi. â
Curse you! Not a single case in his profession had left him this winded. Whatever you are, youâve bewitched him. Youâve cursed him in perpetual yearning, casting him a spell that always seemed to put you out of his reach. Now, youâve displayed your power over him, giggling at his dumbfounded face. You may as well have hexed his mind because your distance only attracted him more.
âBa-bye, Hiromi!â
Witch.
Exhaustion has bounded your body to near fatigue. Every action you take accompanied a sigh, a testament to your depleted energy. Lurid night shifts were a nightmare came true for youâ darkness shrouding your surroundings, while the emptiness of the lot drew you in between fright and boredom. Golfers weren't a common sight at this hour either, leaving you alone with your cart and some alcohol you stashed for yourself.
However, your job canât do itself. After serving the last round of drinks to your clients, you started a lap around the course. Night shifts were boring, but lately, your entertainment lied on every replay your mind made of your date, leaving a lingering smile on your face.
As you hummed a melody, your mind roamed its memories. Your date with Higuruma and Nanami has left you constantly checking your messages, waiting for the seen status to change.
âPerhaps, I was too mean to him.â You muttered with a sigh, but your genius mind jolted your body awake, striking yourself a brilliant thought. Giddily, you parked your car to the side and hopped off. You opened your camera and started to position your body for a normal selfie, then shifted your camera slightly above you to get a better view of your chest. Youâve mastered all inappropriate angles to get a man shaking in longing. It was a bait that worked many times in your favorâ the two men wonât be an exception to this, of course.
Bending forward, puckering your lips, even pushing your breasts. Youâd let them know what theyâve been missing. But, the unsettling feeling of being watched returns. However, you were too late to turn and were instead, shockingly greeted by a familiar voice.
âBending over out in the open? A girl like you really has no shame, hm?â The sudden question left you off guarded, shrieking from the terror of the unforeseen voice. You quickly spun around, ready to hit whoever dared to mess with you. However, youâre faced with Higuruma and Nanami with cocky grins on their faces.
âW-What are you guysâ No, wait! Why were you guys watching me like a creep!â They ignored your complaints, stepping forward to corner you.
âIs that really the question that needs to be asked here, sweets?â
âMore like, why is your ass out for the whole golf course to see?â Nanami joined in, taunting you with each step he took. âIs that your phone in your hand?â
âItâs perfectly normal to have my phone with me all the time!â
âHm, itâs also normal for you to send these photos, right?â Then, Nanami whipped up his phone, its screen illuminated the very scandalous pictures you took. Your shock elicited a gasp, realizing your blundering fingers had accidentally sent them in some ridiculous manner.
âWhatâ No! Ugh, whatever!â Overwhelming embarrassment enveloped your frame as you stepped away from the scene. However, confusion replaced your shame when their conversation continued.
âItâs pink.â Higuruma suddenly commented, âOf course itâs pinkâ It always is!â He followed it with a brazen chuckle while staring at your pictures, Nanami joining him soon when he realized. The ambiguity of their conversation has you glancing back, refraining your steps to fill in your curiosity.
âWe might be going too far with this, Hiromi.â Nanami told him once he came to his senses, showing you a fraction of his pity. However, Hiromiâs meaner, and pent up from the few days he made no contact.
âLook at her, Kento. Sheâs not even leaving.â Youâre humiliated once again by Higuruma. However, the indignity their words caused has you in this undeniable pull. Nanami caught your gaze, before you grumpily stomped back to your cart.
Higuruma walked to you, âAre you?â The air hung heavy with his unspoken desire, and suddenly, you felt your confidence climbing up once again. You remained still, wanting to see how far Higuruma heâd cross the line today.
âI meanâŠâ You muttered. He exchanges a knowing look with Nanami before closing the proximity between you two. He let his fingers travel your arms first, before sliding them at your back, pulling you in closer.
Suddenly, Nanamiâs unannounced hands join in, welcoming
itself to explore your body. Your heart pounded against your chest at their hunger as your knees buckled under the weight of their hunger.
âYouâre right where we want you to be.â Higuruma remarked against your neck before nibbling your exposed skin. Their touches ignited every nerve in your body, firing it up with anticipation. Every small contact they made with your skin had you on the edge of surrendering yourself. And it was hard to retain your confidence when Higuruma and Nanami were hitching your skirt up.
Higruma groaned, âI'm always right, Kento.â Then, he pressed his finger against your clothed clit with such pressure. He intently watched your face, examining every little twitch your mouth makes as he dug his finger more.
âW-Whaââ Before you could finish, Nanami grabbed your chin, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. He kissed you like a depraved man, tongue welcoming itself inside your mouth. He drowned out the noises you made as Higuruma continued rubbing you through your pink panties.
âSheâll look even better naked.â Without second thoughts, he dropped to his knees and tugged your panties down.
âFuckinâ beautiful.â He breathed out, before licking your pussy in long, wet stripes. Lapping on it and spreading his mouth all over your sex while he gripped the soft plush of your ass closer to his face, practically inviting you to ride him.
âDo it, angel.â With Nanamiâs assurance, you hesitantly grinded your cunt on Higurumaâs face, making sure to hit the soft tip of his nose. It panged you with a profound need, like youâve just hit the jackpot. His nose. It was perfect. So perfect, like it was molded to have your pussy grinding on it.
It felt good. Itâs only his tongue and Nanamiâs hands playing with your nipples but it feels so good. Each sway of your hips has you whining for more.
âH-Hirooooâ!â Higuruma hummed in response to your mewls, sucking on your clit with more passion, before bringing his lips all over. He was relentless. Not a single spot of your dripping pussy was left unkissed.
Nanami kissed your forehead, such a starching difference from his filthy praises. âRide it. Come on, I knooow my girl can do it.â You steadied yourself against his chest, breathless and writhing under his hold.
âFeel good? Mhm, you wanna feel more?â
âPleaseeeeâ I wanna!â
âAtta girl, just like that. Ride it like you want itâ Fuck.â
Nanami attempted to soothe you with his soft words, murmuring sweet praises for enduring Higurumaâs tongue. But you couldnât even form a coherent thoughtâ let alone actual words.
âSo so soo good! Hiroâ please!â Every noise that left your mouth was incomplete, babbling on and on about Higurumaâs tongue while gripping onto Nanami for your life.
âYou cumminâ angel? You wanna cum all over Hiromiâs face?â The pleasure was blinding. All you can do is quickly nod and whine for more.
âYes! yes please, please!â But once those words came out, Higuruma stopped all his movements abruptly, baring your wet, pulsing cunt.
âA girl like you⊠has to earn it.â Higuruma says in between his breaths. He could feel his dick screaming at him to be freeâ to be inside you.
You whined at the loss of his sweet lips and turned to Nanami with pleading eyes to coddle you. He simply smiled and pecked your forehead. âCruel. Youâre going to make her cry.â
Then, Higuruma interrupted your little moment with him, âIm fucking hard, Kento. Give her to me.â His impatience was evident with how he forced you to your knees, leading your hands to the belt at his waist. He looked down at you, watching you comply as you unbuckled them.
After his belt, came his pants and boxers. The sight of his bare and hard cock made you stifle a moan, taken aback by his unexpected size and girth.
âShow me you earn it.â He commanded, and you swiftly abided. Your tongue made contact with his bulging tip, swirling it around and spreading his pre-cum all over, before opening your mouth and taking him whole.
It was such a stretch having him inside your mouthâ a challenge for him either. He cursed himself, restraint faltering at the feeling of your warm, wet mouth surrounding his shaft. Your head was guided by Nanami's hold on your hair, making it much harder to control himself. The thought of you being guided by his best friend makes him so horny.
As you hollow your cheeks and slid your head in and out, Higurumaâs fingers found its way wrapped in your hair, together with Nanamiâs. âCâmon, doll, you gotta suck Hiromi's cock better than that." Nanami buried your head further, showing no sympathy for your pitiful state.
Your hands twitched at your sides, hinting at them to give you just a fraction of their kindness. But respect is earned both ways. When you had wickedly played with their minds, youâd be treated with anything but respect.
âA-A girl like youâ shit- needs tâ be taught.â
With ease, he unbuckled his belt and placed his thick and heavy cock on your empty palm. He offered no comfort at your side now. His light, velvety touches at your cheeks were long discarded, replaced with his tip that bumped your puffed cheeks.
âL-look at her filthy mouth, Kento."
"You thinkâ ah, fuuuck. You think she can handle two cocks at the same time?"
Higuruma drilled into your skull with each thrust that he made on your mouth. His lengthy cock protruded again and again and violated your vulgar mouth. However, the two men were unsatisfied at only ruining your face.
His chest heaved, unruly groans drawn out from his throat as you sloppily lolled your tongue on his tip.
"Shit, just like that." Your eager cunt pulsed at his erotic words. Obscene noises hung in the air, mixed with Higuruma's curses and Nanami's stifled groans.
"Shh, I know I know, you need to be quiet, angel. You don't want us getting caught, right?"
"Not even a minute in and she's already strugglingâ pfft."
"Maybe a few more sessions like this and she'll last longer, yeah?" Pity was finally granted when Higuruma slipped his dick out.
But you should've known that a torturous man like Higuruma had other intentions. "P-please, please touch meâ mph!" He silenced your pleads with his cock, chuckling darkly at your muffled cries. Their pleasure is derived from humiliating you. You know this. But it feels good. So good when they defiled you publicly with nothing but a beverage cart covering you.
"Eyes here, angel."
Your mouth worked wonders on Higuruma's dick, slurping his leaked juices as Nanami furiously fucked your palm. Soft and smaller hands wrapped itself on his shaft, the contrast to his hard cock sent him in a dizzying haze.
The lewdness of your cries, your chin covered in drool, and your doll-like eyes that silently begged for moreâ you truly were a slut for pleasing them both.
The arousal from fucking out in the open and your erotic moans vibrating on their dicks did the job. Their humiliation is gone as they ride out their high, pulling their cocks from your grasp and aiming right at your fucked out face.
"F-fuck, keep looking at us like that, angel."
High on the pleasure from your tongue, cum shot out of Higurumaâs dick, coating your face messily as more and more of his thick, creamy, seed haphazardly painted your face.
"Fuck! Yes, yes yes yes..."
"S-shit, 'm coming too." Nanami wasted no time in entering your mouth, pleasure bursting within him as your tight, hot, mouth sucked him on instinct.
Their sticky semen coated your mouth, drool mixed with Nanami's cum dripped to the ground below, struggling to swallow his massive load.
As much as Nanami wants to give you a breather, time is currently ticking, inching closer and closer to the end of your shift. It's also only a matter of time before a coworker notices your absence.
In one swift motion, Nanami pulled you up from the grass, bending you over the cartâs side seat.
"Waitâ" But Nanami doesn't. Instead, he lined up his throbbing dick and steadily pushed himself inside your pussy.
Your eyes shot open at the sudden feeling. Pussy filled to the brim, and you can swear he's grown larger, thicker, compared to when you had him on your palm. Your pussy clenched around him deliciously, struggling to adjust to his size.
"F-fuck fuck fuckâŠ" There was an agonizing pain in how he stuffed you. Once he started, his pace was torturously slow, savoring your fluttering walls.
"too good 't much!" Though every effort in flailing your body away from Kento's grasp was in vain. Higuruma surrounded you, a scowl on his face.
"Fuck, Hiromi. She's clenching me good."
"You're one greedy fucker, Kento."
"So fucking tightâŠâ
He shushed you to be quiet, but his cock sliding in and out of you drew out sinful noises from your lips.
Nanami had spent countless of nights fucking his fists to you. How you'd sound like and how you'd feel like. Now, it was undeniably incomparable to the tight squeeze your pussy gave, and the high pitched moans you cried out.
"S-shut her u-up, 's too noisy,"
"Feel good! S-sir Kentoïżœïżœ!" Your tears stained your cheeks, mixed with the drool escaping your puffy lips. Under his slamming hips, lay his cruel hand, that kept on rubbing your clit in tune with his thrusts.
"Câmon baby one more cockâ so good so so good" Higuruma whispered, encouraging you to take his cock in your mouth again. "You take us so good sweets. You're the sweetest."
Your shaking frame struggled to keep up with their brutal pacing, legs so weak Nanami had to lift up your hips, putting you in that position where you could feel every single inch of his cock.
In their own corrupt way, it was their way of putting you in your placeâ serving punishment by ramming their hips and hollowing your tight, dripping cunt.
"Fuck⊠she's squeezing me- shit."
Nanami panted, eyes clenched shut and slamming himself harder and deeperâ doing anything to chase that high.
"You close, sweets?" Higuruma grinned,"Kento's dick feels that good?â He taunted you, knowing you couldnât reply with your mouth full of his dick. You closed your eyes and let them digged your holes, thrusts so persistent you were molding into their little fuck toy.
After a few more thrusts, his pace started to become unsteady, drawn out and returning to fucking you so slow and sensually. He was close, so fucking close. You're not done yet but he was already right over the edge. Curse you and your tight pussy.
But Nanami was no quitter. He held it in and waited for any sign that you're near your climax too.
"Fuck fuck fuckâ don't stop!"
Just the sign he needed.
With a long breath, he slammed his hips into you with such force, knocking you right off your feet.
Plap plap plap
You were a mess; jaw wide open, whimpering and clinging unto Nanami's arm around your waist, eyes squeezed shut.
Nanami fucked you until you're dumb, unraveling every coherent thought you could muster; fucking you in a way it had you turning into a cock hungry slut.
"She's cumming."
Plap plap plap
He didnât stop. He didnât want to. He needed to see your throbbing and stretched out cunt squeezing him dry. He wasnât stopping unless you had that fucked out look across your pretty face. God, he begged himself to hold out for much longer, wanting to see you take all his cum.
All his efforts were worth it. In the end, he had you screaming out a shrilling whimper, flailing your body as pleasure electrified your whole frame. Surges of blinding light cascaded you, then the rest is a blur. The only vivid feeling was his persistent cock.
"Good..." plap "fuckin'..." plap "girl..." plap
Gone was the control he prided himself on. He filled you with everything he had been holding back, pushing you further with every wave of pleasure that erupted within him. He emptied his balls, all its contents now leaking out of your weeping pussy.
"What a fuckin' mess..." Higuruma cackled, before lifting your limp semi-conscious self in his arms. Although he wanted his arms wrapped around you in a sweet embrace, a gratification for enduring them, he did made a promise to himself.
âMy turn.â
It's going to be a long, long night.
tags : @packsvlog @honeynanamin @rrssrios @misscigarettes @shokosbunny @shamelessdonutkryptonite @i1uvc4ke @dongh9e @freakadelik @tomurafrlover23 @sad-darksoul @glader13 @that-redheadd @beantokki @a-hidden-gem @joonsanswers @erenspersonalsexdoll @s-1-xx @shxniq @ilovetengen @zianaz-slvtz @jwnzlvr @wifenanami @20kglex @oromaangel @jejejjekskwl @s4m4nth4wrld @jaeminsmilk @alpha-mommy69 @lobsteeer @blackphoenix0718 @wrldldo @nappingmoon @cindyneko-strider @yumiecheesecrackers @rattats-world @mirrorballkento
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#nanami x reader#nanami smut#higuruma x reader#higuruma smut#jjk smut#hiromi higuruma x reader#jjk x reader#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento#higuruma hiromi#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#| đđđđ đđ đđđđđđđđđđ (*áŽÍËŹáŽÍ)ê€*.ïŸ
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[tfp] optimus prime x human!reader
summary: you had to go on a business trip. optimus doesn't take it too well
cw: obsessed!optimus, hardcore pinning, angst, i wanted to practice writing dialogues and it shows lmao
word count: 1800
an: i want you guys to know that i am reading EVERY reblog and comment from you swirling my hair and kicking my legs like a schoolgirl
you are so real for that anon
When you, out of your own free will, expressed the desire to join him on patrol, Optimus was overjoyed. You rarely got the chance to be together, just the two of you, always consumed by work or saving the world. And although Optimus wouldnât dare ask you outright to accompany him on patrols (because the last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable), he deeply longed to spend more time with you alone. He knew he was feeding only his own illusions, fueling the machinery of madness, but by this point, he couldnât stop. Not when you sat comfortably on his seat, gazing at the views outside the window, visibly content with your outing together.
He wanted so badly for this to be your everyday reality. Maybe then he could finally find some relief from his fixation, maybe you would even save him.
"Hey," you started, and his entire attention focused on you. "Actually, Iâve been meaning to tell you this for a while."
Oh.
Did your feelings match his? Did you feel affection for him as well? Had you noticed his suffering? Or maybe you wanted to reject him, once and for all, to make him understand that his passion was an illusion, that no matter how much he wanted it, the two of you could never be together â too incompatible, too different. That he had developed this coping mechanism, exhausted by the war.
But before Optimus could spiral further, you crushed his hopes.
"The company I work for is sending me on a business trip," you sighed, clearly dissatisfied with the news. "Itâs supposed to take two weeks, but you never really know with these trips, especially since theyâre sending me across the continent."
"I understand," he replied, his tone not betraying the turmoil within. "What does this business trip involve?"
"Oh, shoot, sorry! I should have explained that right away," you laughed casually as if you hadnât just delivered news that shattered his spark. "Business trip is assigned by an employer for training sessions, conferences, exhibitions, and other boring stuff. Kind of like a mission, but without explosions, action, or danger."
It was good to hear that youâd be safe, though you would truly be safest only at the base, under his watchful optics.
Pessimistic, ugly thoughts churned in his processor. Of all the things he expected to hear from you, this wasnât one of them. Suddenly, he feared being alone, feared his own dreams. Because he knew you wouldnât be there to comfort him after a nightmare, and nothing else could bring him peace.
"I am sorry to hear we will not see each other for two weeks," he said, "but I am confident you will do exceptionally well on this assignment. You are dependable, unyielding. You can handle anything."
"Oh, thank you," you answered, a bit flustered. You hadnât expected a compliment. "It just makes me sad to leave Jasper. I donât say it often enough, but I have a wonderful time with all of you. With you."
"Likewise, [Name]. When are you leaving?"
"The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow after work, Iâll say goodbye to everyone else."
So soon. Too soon. Heâd hoped you wouldnât leave until next week, to at least give him time to mentally prepare for the separation, but you denied him that luxury. Not that any amount of time would have prepared him for this.
Slowly, subtly enough that you wouldnât notice the change, he reduced his speed, prolonging your shared drive.
"Iâm not sure Iâll have time to write," you warned. "Unfortunately, theyâve given me a really tight schedule. But! If I can, Iâll write to the kids. Oh, and expect some souvenirs â Iâll bring something back for you all."
"You do not need to spend your valuable time searching for trinkets. But if you insist, I will cherish anything you bring me."
"Aw, donât worryâitâll be no trouble." You waved your hand dismissively. "You do so much for me, for the kids, for the whole Earth without asking for anything in return. You deserve something nice."
"I do not protect your planet for glory or offerings."
"I know, I know. Thatâs very noble. And amazing. So many years, sticking firmly to your values."
He eagerly soaked up your praise, allowing himself, if only for a brief moment, to forget the world around him, to forget his duties, unfulfilled promises, fallen brothers and sisters. Heâd never describe himself as 'amazing', nor did he believe the praise his own kind gave him about his greatness. But for you, he could believe it. If only for a moment, a few seconds, so that youâd leave on your mission thinking warmly of your time together and of him.
"Thank you, [Name]. Please know that I value your words tremendously."
"Oh," you blushed, "thatâs nice to hear."
Embarrassed, you quickly changed the subject, unaware that Optimus was watching you closely, curious about your reaction. For now, he pushed thoughts of your departure to the back of his processor, wanting to fully enjoy your presence. You recommended songs from the country genre, one of his favorite discoveries on Earth, which he promised to listen to later. He knew well that this would lead to more daydreaming, imagining a future that would never be. Because no matter how hard he tried, his tomorrow would not be entwined with yours. His desires would forever remain mere fantasies born out of desperation, longing, and sorrow.
A week had passed since you left. In the lives of the Autobots, not much had changed because of your absence; they went on with their chaotic schedule. The kids, however, missed you. No more evenings spent helping them with their homework, working on your reports, playing games, or simply chatting. The worst part was that no one really knew what was going on with you. You rarely messaged, didnât have time to talk, and when you did, it was just to say, "Iâm alive, itâs boring, Iâll message you on Thursday." Life continued, despite how much Miko wished she could play games with you instead of doing her homework.
Everyone managed to adapt to your absence.
With one exception.
At first glance, it seemed like Optimus, the bot with whom you shared the closest bond, hadnât been affected by such a drastic change. Nothing in his behavior indicated any longing. He didnât express his opinion on the matter, didnât ask, didnât demand. As always, he buried his feelings deep within, playing the role of a diligent leader, hiding from everyone the nightmares running through his processor, now even more intense because of your absence.
He was withering, quietly and alone.
Until now, he had been content simply watching you. He had established a routine, unhealthy as it was, that kept him going. He knew that most of the time when he returned from patrol or a mission, you would be at the base. Even if you came every other or every third day, Optimus knew that eventually, you would show up. It gave him a sense of stability amidst the chaos surrounding him. But now? Maybe two weeks wasnât a big challenge for you, but he was done after one.
Now, he wanted to be more than a passive observer. He craved physical contact, to hold you close, to feel your heartbeat against his metal. He wanted to know you were alive, to feel your pulse under his digit, to listen to its rhythm, to understand how your chest moved against his metal. He wanted to feel, taste, touch, enter.
He kept glancing at the spot on the couch where you usually sat with your laptop on your lap or spent time with the kids as if hoping that if he looked just one more time, you would materialize there. That everything would return to normal, that he wouldnât suffer so much, that you would give him the daily dose of antidote he needed to function without plunging deeper into despair. But no matter how many times he looked, you werenât there, and wouldnât be for another week.
At some point, however, someone noticed their leaderâs miserable mood.
"I canât quite figure out what kind of bond you have with that woman," Ratchet said, pausing his work to look at Optimus. Before his friend could answer, he continued, "But sheâll be back soon. And whatever sheâs doing, sheâll do it well. Sheâs tough."
"Thank you, old friend. I have no doubt in her abilities. But I would feel better if she were stationed closer to the base in case of a Decepticon attack."
"Mm-hmm," the medic scoffed. "Sure, thatâs all itâs about."
Optimus had no response to that. He wasnât surprised that Ratchet noticed his infatuation, but he would prefer that his friend not delve into the details of their relationship. At least, not yet. Not while Optimus himself was a wreck.
"Hey, hey! [Name] messaged!" Miko yelled.
The Autobot leader immediately approached the platform, finally abandoning his conversation with Ratchet, aware that it would only spark more suspicions. But he didnât care anymore, not in such an important moment.
He stood directly behind Miko, with Bumblebee and Bulkhead beside him, equally curious to know what you had been up to over the past week.
"She sent photos, too! Look!"
Miko turned to show the messages to the others but paused when she noticed Optimusâs helm close to her.
âWhoa,â she whispered, surprised that out of all the bots, he was the one standing the closest. She swallowed, but her confidence quickly returned.
Holding her phone firmly, she displayed a close-up selfie of you. You were smiling, though the bags under your eyes betrayed that you were sleep-deprived, probably exhausted.
Optimus felt the accumulated stress, pain, and longing of the past week slowly dissipate. Everything was fine with you. You were alive, pushing forward with a smile on your face, happy to simply exist. Admiring your photo didnât compare to seeing you in person, but it let him vent a little easier, granting him a brief respite from worry, gnawing at him from within. It was enough. For now. For a moment.
âShe sends her regards to everyone,â Miko went on, âOh, and she also asked Ratchet to take a break and mentioned she already bought a gift for Optimus and canât wait to come back. Hey, I want a present, too!â
Optimus couldn't be certain if another week apart wouldnât inflict even more damage on his processor and spark, or if longing would eventually consume him entirely. But he knew he was already lost, that you held sway over every aspect of his life. He was wrapped around your finger, tethered by a leash you didnât even realize existed. And he didnât mind one bit.
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Hey girl! I absolutely love your work. The way you write Desi reader is phenomenal
I was hoping you could write a Lando fic where he and Reader go to a trampoline park for a date and he's live streaming. He sees that she's very sweaty from all the fun and he comments on it and she says "as if you could make me this sweaty, Norris" AND IT GETS CAUGHT ON CAMERA
If you're not comfortable with the last part maybe only the trampoline park date?
Sweaty Opportunities âౚà§ËâĄË àŁȘ
á°á© ln x reader đ§žàŸàœČ
á°á© fluff + humour + smau đ§žàŸàœČ
masterlist âŸâŒ
date days were y/n's favourite, even more than date nights. of course, date nights had a different class of its own. with the wine, and the fine dining, and the pretty dresses and suits that always end up on the floor of the living room because they couldn't wait to make it to the bedroom. it was amazing, definitely.
but, y/n tended to enjoy the date days more. it contained of spending the entire day exploring, eating, and just being kids. they would be in far more comfortable clothes, and would walk around hand-in-hand everywhere. most of their date days were usually lando's ideas, and they were always something reckless and exhilarating. it always made lando's face a pretty red that y/n could never stop kissing.
this particular date, lando had told her that he was going to be making another landolog since it had been a long time. y/n had readily agreed, well aware of how much lando enjoyed making the landologs.
"babe, are you ready?" his voice called out from the living room.
"coming!" y/n replied, trying to get her anklet untangled from her sock so that it didn't break.
lando stood at the door of the room, with the camera in his hand, "chat, this happens every time! i tell her we need to leave at 12, she starts getting ready 12!"
"liar! i was ready to go before you!"
"apparently not, seeing that i've worn my shoes and everything, and you still only have on sock on," lando teased.
"my anklet got stuck again," y/n looked at him with the best puppy eyes she could.
lando sighed, always unable to resist her cute face, "fine, hold the camera,"
she smiled, making a funny face at the camera before she turned it around to record lando. the man had knelt on the floor, and was focused on getting her anklet untangled.
"he's such a nice boy, taking care of me. mumma approves of you too, na," y/n cooed at him.
lando smiled, shaking his head at her, knowing that she was making fun of him. he made a sound from the back of his throat, acknowledging that he heard her. y/n ran her fingers through his hair, talking in the camera how soft his hair was, and how she was envious of it.
"alright, done," lando said, as he stood up after untangling the anklet. he offered his hand to y/n, and she took it, standing up. lando pulled her close to his chest, the camera stuck between them.
y/n laughed, "lan! you're crushing the camera!"
lando pressed a kiss to her lips, and said, "well, they didn't need to see that anyway,"
the two grabbed their essentials, still bickering and bantering, laughing into the camera, as they left the apartment, and into the car.
the camera recorded the couple singing (read as: screaming) taylor swift songs on their way to lando's surprise date location.
"where are we going?" y/n asked.
"we're almost there, lovie. a little more patience."
"look who's talking about patience!" y/n turned towards the camera, and said, "this man has the least amount of patience i've ever seen, okay?"
"that's not true!"
"you almost burned down our home because you decided to set the oven at double the temperature because you thought it would cook quicker!"
"logically, it makes sense!"
"its a miracle we have a roof over our heads, lando!"
he laughed, a loud, shrieking kind of laugh.Â
pulling into the parking lot, lando turned off the ignition, and quickly grabbed the camera to catch y/nâs face change from confusion, to understanding, to childlike excitement. he knew this was one of the few places y/n had always wanted to come to, and now, she would finally have the opportunity.Â
âyou got me to a trampoline park!â y/n shrieked.Â
lando winced at the loud sound, but smiled nonetheless, âhappy date day, baby!â
y/n wrapped her arms around her boyfriendâs neck, the camera forgotten on his lap, as he hugged her back. âthank you, thank you, thank you!â she whispered.Â
âi love you,â he whispered back.Â
she kissed him, letting him know that she loved him too.Â
getting out of the car, y/n jumped excitedly as lando laughed, holding the camera. seeing lando lock the car, y/n immediately began running towards the entrance. zooming on the camera to show just how far she had ran, lando said, âchat, sheâs a little crazy, but iâm so head over heels for her,âÂ
following y/n inside, lando handed her the camera as she showed the place around and yapped. meanwhile, he paid for the tickets, and walked to where y/n was. she had been standing by the popcorn machine, talking to the camera like she was talking to another human. sneaking behind her, lando wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. y/n laughed, but let him walk towards the entrance of the trampoline park.
she set the camera down, angling it towards them, as the couple removed their shoes, and stored it in one of the cubicles.Â
âso, how long are we here?â y/n asked.Â
âwell, itâs three hours of jumping and bouncing-âÂ
âthatâs what she said,âÂ
â-and then we go out for lunch, and have cheesecake for dessert, and back home, where we can either sleep or do other things if we have more energy,â lando finished.Â
y/n smacked his arm, âyou better edit that out!âÂ
âyouâre the one with the dirty mind! i just meant we could bake something or have a movie marathon!âÂ
âyouâre lying, you liar!â lando laughed as he ran from y/nâs smack attack.Â
grabbing the camera, he ran inside, immediately bouncing and gaining more speed than y/n. but, she wasnât far behind. though, once she began jumping on the trampolines, her smack attack on lando was quickly forgotten. the couple went through every zone the park had to offer, playing trampoline basketball, jumping into a ball pit, and obstacle courses that were almost everywhere.Â
y/n pushed lando often, laughing every time he fell and bounced back. lando returned the favour. they challenged each other to stupid things, like who could jump the highest.Â
âitâs not fair! youâre taller than me! of course, you jumped higher than i did!âÂ
âthat sounds like a you problem, lovie!âÂ
âbitch!â
or, they challenged each other to who could fall the farthest in the ball pit.Â
âi totally won!âÂ
âno, you didnât! you moved the balls from the sides, so now we donât know!âÂ
âoh, quit crying just âcause you lost!âÂ
âyou lost!âÂ
most of the challenges were unfair for y/n, given that lando only proposed the ones that would benefit him, and in her excitement, she wouldnât realise it until after she lost. she did try to trick him and win, and that worked. lando said it didnât count, but everyone knew who the boss was.Â
âready? three, two, one, go!âÂ
âow, ow, ow, ow,âÂ
âlovie? you okay? whatâs wrong?â
âi think i twisted my ankle,âÂ
âoh, baby, lemme see,âÂ
âha! tricked you!âÂ
âwha-? hey! no fair!âÂ
âsorry, canât hear you from the finish line!âÂ
their friendly competitions had resulted in red faces shining from sweat, and bright smiles. the day was exactly what they needed, and y/n had plans to show just how grateful she was to lando for planning such a date. they exchanged kisses, played with the other kids in the park, and tried to outdo one another. it made y/n fall more in love with lando.Â
the camera facing towards them, lando watched as y/n jumped on a trampoline square behind him, spreading her arms and legs, making a star every time she was in the air.Â
âyouâre so sweaty,â lando commented as he looked at his girlfriendâs flushed face.Â
y/n smirked, âit's because of the jumping around for three hours. as if you could ever make me so sweaty, norris,ïżœïżœïżœÂ
his mouth fell open as he processed her retort. she laughed at his expression, and began jumping away. lando quickly grabbed her hand and said, âas if i could ever- come on, weâre going home,âÂ
âwhat? why? we still have lunch left!âÂ
ânope. iâm going to show you just how sweaty i can make you,âÂ
y/n laughed but followed. she wasnât going to pass on an opportunity like this. sheâd never.
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hi! i tried to make this desi!reader, but i just didn't find a lot of places where i could incorporate that, so i tried my best to stick to a neutral, imagine-what-you-like character. i hope you enjoy this! i've also got a link for my taglist, prompt list, and all of that you can find here!
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#formula one#ln4#f1 imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris smau#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln x reader
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[present jo note: read this last night with my notes app open so i could go annotating hope u donât mind i wrote a lot :p]
if u couldn't tell it's very inspired by early 2000s romcoms
wooo, just as im in my romcom watching era. perfect đ„łđ«¶
James was nothing to fawn over.
?! ?! ?! ?!?!2âŹ/ ?!;@/âŹ:@
"Was it professional when I was your first kiss?" He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back, feeling the plaster wall graze your back through your work blazer.
"It was spin the bottle and we were twelve, it's ancient history. And do you mind? I know you're some kind of god around here but I have a reputation to uphold,"
YOU WERENT FUCKING LYING THIS IS SO ROM COM GAAAAAH
"Not Lily! Have I missed my chance forever?"
this made me giggle teehEe
"She doesn't like beer, thinks it tastes like piss." You whipped your neck around at the familiar voice, mouth dropping open at the sight of James Potter.
i would murder him. my face would be so red
"Are you thick? I only said that because I fancied you!"
"What do you mean you said it because you fancied me? That is not normal!" You whirled around, accusatory finger pointed his way.
"I don't know! I thought I was supposed to! It wasn't cool to be a sap!" James argued back, running a hand through his already tousled curls.
ilovethemilovethemilovethem
thinking of u :P <3
GODDDD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE JAMES POTTER NOT BEING REAL
"This photo was taken when we were twelve or thirteen years old at someone's party. That night, as you tend to do when you're young and bored, we played spin the bottle and ended up being each other's first kiss. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm telling this story now, and it's because ever since that night as I have recently realised, almost a decade later, I have been embarrassingly, stupidly in love with her."
giggling and crying all at the same time
"And though I've done some incredibly dumb things over the years, somehow she's managed to like me back -- at least a little. So I'm setting the record straight right now, she is not 'sleeping to the top' or trying to get a secret scoop out of me because I'm the one who's been chasing after her for twelve years.
"I know I've been rambling on for far too long so I'll wrap it up here, but I just wanted to end this little conference with a warning that if I see any more disgusting, hateful articles about her, you won't be getting another comment from me again. So nice to see you all!"
đđđ„łâšđđč i cant
11k WORDS? WERE BEING FED FOLKS. i feel like a squirrel with her supply of nuts for the winter HAHSH WHAT AM I SAYING SOMEONE SHUT ME UP (preferably james potter and with a kiss thanks)
summary: loved this, gia. it was very rom-com, very cutesy đđ«¶âš
our names in the paper - footballer!james potter x fem!sports journalist!reader
wc: 11,151
cw: swearing, fade to black but suggestive moments?, smoking, slut-shaming, kissing
info: r and james are about 24, set in 2007ish solely for the romcom vibes. james is the equivalent of like David Beckham in his prime, all pics are for vibes only, not reflective of r's appearance etc
me: i've been working on this for soooo long i am so happy it's finally done!! if u couldn't tell it's very inspired by early 2000s romcoms and i am honestly so proud of it so praying it doesn't flop LOL
ââââ ââ
â ââââ
"James, James! Over here! What's the defence strategy this season?"
If you had to hear James' name one more time you might scream. Unfortunately, you were locked in a room with nothing but that. Worse, you were part of the problem.
"Mister Potter, what do you think about your striker's goal-to-game ratio falling rapidly this season?" You called, begrudgingly hoping for a moment of the soccer star's attention. Fortunately (or unfortunately), his glittering eyes settled on you, singling you out from the room of hungry journalists.
"I think that you miss one hundred per cent of the shots you don't take," He said, smirk turning to something challenging, "And as long as my team is training and working together, I'm not gonna cry over a bit of spilt milk or missed goals. And, as far as I'm concerned we're still winning games, aren't we?" You rolled your eyes, scribbling down his answer nonetheless.
You continued the catfight of trying to get answers for your newest article, keeping the balance of vying for James' attention and showing him you didn't care for him personally, unlike the other journalists you were pushing against. The conference room was full of men and women who wanted to be James or be with him. Aside from the professional questions, there were certainly several invitations to the pub thrown around, and you were sure you saw one woman try and give him her cellphone number. You rolled your eyes again at that, James was nothing to fawn over.
He might be a big shot now, but you'd known him almost all your life. The two of you had gone to school together and had bickered through every interaction since then. James had always wanted to be a football star, and you a journalist. You'd never believed in him and vice versa, both of you taking every opportunity to tease the other or cut each other down. Maybe it was just clashing personalities, two people too ambitious to be friends. The rivalry had lasted past school, and unfortunately, the two of you often crossed paths in your respective careers.
The press conference wrapped up soon after your question, and you ended up lingering in the room trying to finish your notes. James was still over at his podium next to his coach, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and arduously texting on his flip phone. Seeing you hovering by the door he called your last name, sauntering up behind you. You rolled your eyes and braced yourself for the encounter.
"Potter." You smiled curtly, moving to leave.
"You don't have to call me 'Mr Potter' during the conferences, you know. James is perfectly fine, everyone else calls me that."
"Just trying to stay professional," You said through gritted teeth, aware his coach and a few others were still around you. It could cost you your job to snap at him.
"Was it professional when I was your first kiss?" He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back, feeling the plaster wall graze your back through your work blazer.
"It was spin the bottle and we were twelve, it's ancient history. And do you mind? I know you're some kind of god around here but I have a reputation to uphold," You whispered, glancing around anxiously. James laughed at your distress which only annoyed you further. Maybe he could get away with anything, but you had to fight for your place in your field as a female sports journalist, you couldn't afford to take it lightly.
You couldn't help the physical reaction to being trapped between James and the wall though, your breathing shallow and quick, face tilted up slightly to look at him. You felt a bit like prey, caught in the predator's territory and resigned to imminent death.
"Let her go, will you? She's just doing her job," Remus Lupin said, entering the conference room with his nose crinkled from the smell. You couldn't blame him, sweaty players and hungry journalists didn't make any kind of utopia together.
"I wasn't doing anything!" James cried, hands up in surrender, "Come on love, I was just giving you the scoop, right?"
"First of all, if you were giving me 'the scoop' right now I'd certainly be accused of sleeping to the top by all the blokes waiting out there," You gestured to the group of other reporters still lingering in the hall waiting for any scraps of information, "And secondly, I work for the bloody Sunday People, not the BBC. I honestly think they'd rather I just write about your 'dashing good looks' or a drug scandal than your games," You complained, falling back into the ease of conversation now that Remus was there. He'd been at school with the both of you, growing up to be a physiotherapist, but was always much more palatable than James.
Both men laughed at your plight.
"If you ever need a more detailed look at my dashing good looks just ask, sweetheart. I'd be glad to show you, you know, for your articles." You rolled your eyes at James' attempt to be charming, snapping your notebook shut.
"Alright, I think that's my cue to go," You said curtly, smoothing out your work trousers. "Remus, I'll return Dracula next time I see you; I'm almost finished." You remembered you'd had his novel for quite a while, sparing him a smile on the way out.
"You lend her books?" James asked incredulously, hazel eyes curiously following your figure down the hall. Remus just shrugged, patting James on the shoulder and attending to his actual job, checking up on the players after the match.
James was still hung up on the fact when he returned to the apartment he shared with Remus and Sirius, flabbergasted as he hung his coat on the rack.
"Since when are you two close enough to be sharing books?" He cried as he paced through the kitchen, "Have we not all been in agreement that she is stubborn and hard-headed and annoying and has been since school?"
"No," Remus shook his head, "You decided that, and I daresay she feels the same about you. I've always rather liked her."
James was unexpectedly dumbfounded at the realisation that you werenât the common enemy he thought you were. Even Sirius didnât seem to dislike you, always stopping for a chat when you were around the stadium and giving you extra comments with a flirty wink.
James didnât need to think about you for another few weeks; his team hadnât played one week and youâd been assigned other matches for the others â he read your very amusing pieces on lawn bowls and chess-boxing, partly because he knew youâd hate the assignment.
You were blissfully apart until one Saturday night. You were out with your friends and a few coworkers and James was out with his. Heâd started in the local pub while you were at a fancy cocktail restaurant for Lilyâs bachelorette party, however, your groups crossed paths in the depths of a nightclub.
Maybe you were getting too old for them, waking up with sore backs and knees after nights of dancing, but it didnât mean you wouldnât give it a red hot go. And with a few cocktails in your system, nobody could convince you it wasnât a good idea.
You'd been shaking what your mother gave you for the better part of an hour before it was your turn to get another round, telling the girls you'd be back before stumbling through a sea of sweaty bodies.
Some gross man who was definitely too old for you obstructed your path, grabbing your arms to make you dance with him. Your face crinkled in disgust of its own accord, trying to wiggle yourself free. He continued to encroach on your space, forcing you around despite your persistence. Finally, a man's hands landed on his shoulders, yanking him away and subsequently freeing you from his grasp. The momentum sent you tumbling in your strappy heels, right into something warm and solid. You cringed, having been there before. You turned slowly to meet your unwitting saviour, huffing when you realised it was James.
"Oh, fuck off," You grumbled, mostly to yourself, producing a quick apology to not seem totally impolite.
"Alright?" Sirius asked, revealing himself as the one who'd gotten you away from the creep. You shrugged, fixing your hair.
"Been better," You told him, preparing to leave before seemingly their whole team had surrounded you, all greeting you loudly. You weakly waved at them, feeling dreadfully underdressed and professional. You were used to seeing them in the stadium and press conferences where you were much more modestly dressed. The strapless mini dress wasn't giving you the same layer of protection.
"Right," You said when there didn't seem to be any more productive conversation happening, "I'm off to the bar then."
"Let me buy you a drink, to make up for the freak," One of the players, Frank, said. You smiled but shook your head.
"I'm buying for several, it wouldn't be fair. It's Lily's bachelorette." You directed the last sentence to those who knew her, the football and journalism professions having considerable overlap due to events and the never-ending scandals and interviews. James covered his face in mock-devastation.
"Not Lily! Have I missed my chance forever?" He moaned, earning some shoves from the rest of the group. You and Lily had been friends since uni, and you'd introduced her to the boys at one of the terrible house parties you'd endured over your three years studying. James had developed a thing for her right away (no one knew how much of it was serious and how much was for comedic value) and had been loudly pining for her ever since, despite her long-term relationship with Dirk Cresswell, an economist who worked in the building down the block from your office.
"I think you missed your chance the first time," You retorted with a snort, a little drunk to have any ferocity in your tone. You both made a face at each other, ignoring the laughter of those around you. You dismissed the group and danced away, shaking your arse over to the bar.
A few rounds later and you were not in your best shape. The girls had been absolute menaces, feeding you shots and deceiving colourful cocktails that actually held like seven standards in them, and you were certainly feeling the effects. You excused yourself from the group to find a loo, bile rising in your throat as you pushed past dancers, not even sparing a comment for James as you saw him.
That confused both James and his friends, becoming used to your insistent teasing over the years. He exchanged a look with Sirius, following you through the crowd and to the bathrooms.
He figured something was wrong when you burst into the gender-neutral bathrooms, not bothering to lock the door behind you. James and Sirius silently fought about who was going to follow you in and check on you; James found you insufferable, Sirius had severe emetophobia and would probably throw up himself if he had to be close to you vomiting. James rolled his eyes, it was his responsibility. Sirius clapped him on the back gratefully, leaving him to return to the others. James sighed, reciting some affirmations before he cracked the door open, calling out to you.
When you responded with a disgusting wretch, James slipped inside, gagging a little as he saw you leant over the toilet bowl, bare knees on the grimy tile floor.
"Alright?" He asked for lack of anything better, unsurprised when you replied with another gag.
"I feel ill," You said pathetically, head hung low in the bowl which James knew you would resent tomorrow. He laughed quietly, getting closer to you.
"No shit, idiot," His tone was light as he began to rub your back softly, making sure your hair was away from your mouth. You vomited a few more times, your body reacting in violent hurls as James tried to be both soothing and as far away as possible.
When your stomach was finally empty you slumped against the toilet, cheek pressed against the cool porcelain.
"Woah," James pulled you up to a sitting position, "That cannot be good for your skin. Let's get you home, okay?" You nodded petulantly, letting yourself be led out through the club, James telling Lily he'd make sure you got home (and congratulated her on the upcoming wedding).
"Can we get some gum or something? My throat tastes like vom." James looked down at you from where you were lodged into his side, legs shaky as you wobbled down the street. He sighed and steered you in the direction of a convenience store, picking out strawberry gum for you since it tasted better than mint, your words. Good you thought when he paid for it, the football star can shell out 2 pounds, makes more than you anyhow.
You chewed happily, stumbling down the pavement as James held onto you, keeping you upright.
"You're so muscly," You said, somewhat in a drunken haze.
"Thank you?" James laughed, patting you softly on the forearm he was holding. To be fair, you weren't quite sure if it was a compliment either. Your words were admittedly oddly nice but your tone made it confusing, drunk thoughts not completely translating to sober dynamics.
You meandered for a few oddly peaceful minutes, neither of you starting an argument or picking a fight. It was a nice break from normal, the two of you even sharing some peaceful small talk -- discussing a movie you'd both seen recently.
Of course, nothing good lasts.
"James!" A voice yelled from the other side of the street, a short man with mousy mannerisms. James groaned beside you.
"Peter Pettigrew," He whispered to you, trying to pull you along faster, "We used to be mates but turns out he was just using me to get team secrets out into the papers." You whipped your head around to look at him. Oh! You knew Pettigrew, unsurprising given you both reported on essentially the same topics, but he had a bad name even in your circles. He was closer to a paparazzi than a journalist, going for the cheap stories and ad hominem approaches rather than searching for any meaningful insights. Simply put, in an already sleazy career, Peter Pettigrew was the bottom of the barrel.
"Later, mate. I'm in the middle of something right now." James put his arm around your shoulder, better shielding you as he tried to make a getaway. The telltale flash of a camera reflected off the grey pavement, making both you and James whip your heads around to face Peter, looking hardly ashamed of himself. After a moment of shock, you both covered your faces, stumbling down the street as fast as you could manage. The damage was already done.
Suddenly you didn't feel as drunk, navigating the cobblestone streets with unanticipated nimbleness. James might've had the athlete's advantage but you were on home turf, leading him through local shortcuts and to the front door of your apartment building.
On the journey over you'd attracted a few more photographers all fiending for a scandalous picture of James, a small mob forming as you tried to punch in the door code despite your shaking hands. James was right behind you, front pressed to your back, holding his Adidas windbreaker out in a position to shield your face from the prying eyes.
You slammed the door shut, the nosy questions and camera clicks immediately muffled. James let out a long sigh, running a hand through his already tousled hair. Neither of you spoke for a while, processing what had happened.
"Make yourself at home then." You cringed as you surveyed the state of your flat; clothes flung over chairs and dishes still in the sink. Your only option for living alone was cramming all your stuff into what was essentially a shoebox, so any amount of mess made the place look chaotic.
"Nice place," James said and you immediately rolled your eyes, snatching up a stray bra strewn across an armchair. "No, I mean it! It's cozy. Very you." He gestured up at the colourful, mismatched glassware in a kitchen cabinet and the beaded curtain separating your bedroom. You blushed slightly; you didn't often take men home, your flat staying a girly paradise just for you.
You put on the kettle, comforted by the familiar sounds of water beginning to boil. James sat awkwardly on an armchair near the window, anxiously peeking out from behind the curtain every few minutes. His reactions told you the paparazzi were still loitering outside.
James took his tea gratefully, surprisingly still agreeable despite all the terrible things that had happened in the course of a few hours.
"Do you have a back exit or something? Somewhere I can slip out and get home?" You shook your head with a grimace.
"Only the fire exit, but that still goes out near the front. Otherwise we're surrounded by other buildings."
"You must be exhausted after everything. Head off to bed, I'll wait until the gits outside fuck off then lock the door behind me. We don't have to ever mention this again if you don't want." The orange lamp light made James' eyes look unfairly soft, highlighting the golden flecks amongst the brown. You steeled your nerve and shook your head.
"I'm not that bad of a host," You tried to joke, "Besides, don't you have training tomorrow? You're already up later than I'm sure you intended to be. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined England's star player by making him stay up all night, you take my bed and go to sleep." You were both very carefully trying to keep things light, not wanting to spend any more of the night miserable and fighting.
"Well, I'm not taking your bed, that's just impolite. I'll take the couch, if you're being so generous as to let me stay." He had a cheeky smile on his lips as he said it, both of you dancing around the fact that in any other circumstance James wouldn't have been allowed within fifteen feet of your flat.
"That couch? No way." You pointed at the teensy vintage sofa sitting in front of the boxy television. It had space for maybe two and a half arses to sit on it, maybe horizontally extended legs if you were short-ish, but there was no way the goliath James Potter was getting any decent sleep on it. "You take the bed. I'll survive the couch tonight."
"Don't be stupid, I can't sleep in your bed. If not the couch I'll take the floor."
"Speaking from a purely medical standpoint, I haven't cleaned these floors recently enough for it to be safe to have your face in such close proximity. Take the bed, Potter."
You bickered for a few long minutes, both of you trying to outdo each other's respect as host and guest, respectively. You didn't miss the irony that even when you and James were getting along you were fighting.
"I'm not letting you go without, that's final." You turned away to go fetch a pillow for your night on the couch when James said something you never ever thought you'd hear from him.
"Then sleep with me."
"Excuse me?" You all but shrieked, immediately cringing as you thought about your poor neighbours.
"Look, it's basically morning, we're both shattered and I'm sure your bed is much comfier than whatever alternative you're planning. We can even go full pillow-wall if it'll make you feel better." You stared at him for several moments, lips actually agape. Never in your life did you think James Potter would be asking you to share a bed with him, and never in your life did you think you'd be considering it.
"Fine."
Twenty minutes later and you were both ready for bed. You'd found James an old pair of an ex-boyfriend's long abandoned pyjamas, stuffed in a bottom drawer. They were slightly too small to accommodate all his muscles, the t-shirt sitting a few inches above the pants' waistband, giving him a very '90s crop top and exposing his happy trail.
You were almost definitely more embarrassed than James. You were in a similarly aged pair of pyjamas, a cartoon of Spongebob over your chest. You couldn't tell if you'd prefer to be in the lame pair that you were wearing or a cute pair -- no, it would probably look like you were trying too hard. Which you weren't. You didn't care about looking cute in front of James Potter, why would you?
He was already in bed when you'd returned from your skincare routine, face fresh and moisturised, and though you knew he was going to be there, nothing could have prepared you for the sight of James Potter in your bed. Tucked up to the chin under your frilly floral grandma sheets, he looked the picture of cozy.
"Don't bloody touch me, I mean it. I want to feel alone in my own bed," You snapped, sliding under the covers, pulling the doona similarly high up to your chin. You turned over to the centre of the bed to find James already on his side looking at you. You let it be for a moment, surprisingly enjoying the sleepover vibes you'd created.
"Okay this is weird now, the pillow's going up." You slammed a long decorative cushion in between the both of you, secretly smiling at the sleepy giggle James let out.
The first time you awoke it was hazy, still early in the morning with golden sunbeams streaming through your curtains. Warmth enveloped you, keeping you cozy despite the winter morning outside. You shifted to burrow deeper into your blankets when a groan came from behind you, startling you more awake as you recognised the feeling of muscular arms wrapped around your middle. It suddenly all came back to you, James walking you home, the paparazzi, you making an absolute fool of yourself. However, James was a portable heat source and extremely comfortable so you let yourself ignore everything that had led up to it, allowing yourself another few hours of blissful sleep.
The second time you woke up James was gone. That wasn't surprising given he definitely had early morning training, but you would reluctantly admit that it was a little lonelier in your bed than it usually was.
You didn't leave the house for the rest of the day, finally cleaning your apartment after much too long. Turns out all you needed was to be embarrassed in front of a guest to get you motivated.
Monday morning you weren't hungover anymore, but you were mourning the weekend that had passed much too quickly. Still, things were running smoothly enough; you didn't miss the tube and had snagged a seat, and your makeup was looking absolutely grand. You were absolutely thriving.
That was, until you crossed the threshold of the Sunday People offices and the jerks from the politics columns started bothering you, as if a Monday morning wasn't punishment enough.
"Meet anyone nice over the weekend, sweetheart?" One crowed from his desk chair, looking positively dickhead-ish in his too-small button-up.
"Or still on the clock maybe? We know you're always hunting for a good story." The combination of both remarks confused you, but you strutted past them with a quick glare in their general direction, your clicking heels producing enough attitude that you didn't need to say anything.
As you approached your own desk area, you had the distinct and uncomfortable feeling that everyone was looking at you. You couldn't think of why, but subtly wiped the edge of your lips in case it was foolishly smudged lipstick.
You even swore you heard one of the royal writers -- an awful woman maybe twenty years older than you -- say something about your 'promiscuity' and 'unprofessionalism'. You didn't know where it was coming from. You weren't friends by any means but you usually just stayed out of each other's way, you didn't throw around insults at your workplace. You glanced down at your outfit but nothing seemed especially revealing, the same button-up and pencil skirt you always wore if you weren't doing field work.
You were really starting to wonder why everyone was looking at you when even Lily was sending you pitiful glances. You had just made up your mind to say something about it when your boss came striding towards you, anger emanating in a way which only middle-aged men can do.
"What is this?" He slammed a Daily Mail tabloid down on your desk. The office was dead silent. You looked down at it, wholly confused as to what it could be -- your last article was approved without any troubles.
THE 'INSIDE' SCOOP? POTTER GETS COZY WITH REPORTER ON NIGHT OUT
And there, right under the brazen headline, was the stupid picture that Peter Pettigrew took. The two of you out on the street, you tucked into James' side with his arm around you. Your face wasn't totally visible, but anyone who already knew you would recognise the figure and fashion.
You could feel your face drop as you read the article, a barrage of slut-shamey insults and reports of how intimate you and James were out on the streets of London -- all entirely false, of course. When you'd finished reading the piece the whole office was staring at you, waiting to see how you'd react.
"It's a lie," You said quietly, trying to stop your hands from shaking as they rested on your lap. There was a pregnant pause as your boss processed what you were saying, clearly confused. None of your coworkers dared to speak.
"Bullshit," He replied, face blooming red as he decided you weren't being truthful. "That's you and that's James, there's no denying that. The whole bloody country will be able to see you two getting cozy on the street. How do you reckon this reflects on me, having your name and workplace published alongside your completely unprofessional affair?"
"I understand that it looks bad, but it's not what you think at all. J- uh, Potter was just helping me get home after a chance encounter because I wasn't feeling well, then he hid at my place because of all the paparazzi. Nothing happened." It was a weak explanation, even you could tell, even though it was completely true.
The arseholes over in Politics were already sniggering to themselves and you wished you could have ripped them a new one. Instead, you were cowering underneath your brutish boss.
"It's your word against Pettigrew's, and only one of you's been printed. You've been publicly humiliated and we're getting bad press for it."
Your boss had left you with the threatening promise that the issue would be brought up with your superiors and the whispered opinions of every single person you worked with. You choked out an excuse to get out of the office, taking the lift up to the rooftop to cry.
You had peace for a few minutes, getting the most embarrassing of the sobs out alone.
"Did you actually sleep with him?" If it was anyone else you probably would have snapped, yelling at them for being so insensitive. Marlene said it with such earnest curiosity and sympathy that you turned to face her instead. You were met with her and Lily, your very best friends who you were feeling especially lucky to work with at that moment.
"No!" You told them the full story, about getting sick at the club, James just being polite and walking you home, and Peter Pettigrew's terrible betrayal. Both women listened attentively, taking it all in.
"I thought you hated Potter," Lily said finally, "How'd it get that far in the first place? Usually you'd have ditched him in the first five minutes of being in his presence."
"I don't hate him." You studied your hands intently, observing the peeling red nail polish you should have reapplied yesterday. "I think he's annoying and obnoxious and I've always hated that he's never believed I could be a serious writer, but I don't hate him. He has his moments. Besides, why would I waste energy on hating Potter when I could hate Pettigrew with all my heart?"
"What a snake," Marlene spat, lighting a cigarette as she got comfy next to you. You and Lily both nodded. Peter was not only now a backstabber, but he'd been becoming increasingly insufferable over the years you'd all been writing.
He started out quite nice and was in your periphery of friends in the same way Remus and even James were, but as he'd gotten the job at his shitty tabloid magazine he'd become downright intolerable, always twisting what you'd said both in official articles and when gossiping with other friends. You had all had enough a few years ago and stopped inviting him places. Clearly, he'd held onto the grudge.
At his own work, James was facing the same rumours, though not nearly to the same peril. As he rocked up to his home pitch for the morning training session he was received with catcalls and high fives which made him nervous. No one was ever that happy to be working out on a Monday morning.
"Thought you hated her, mate."
"Maybe all she needed was a good shag to get the stick out of her arse."
"Woah! Can we take it back a few steps and not talk about women that way?" James sent a look over to one of his teammates.
"Sorry bud," He held his hands up in surrender, "Thought you wouldn't mind since you're always moaning about her." James' eyebrows knit together as he tried to piece together what the men were talking about, finally giving up and asking for a plain explanation.
He was met with a copy of Peter's article, outlining the flirty touches and 'electric chemistry' the two of you shared. Scanning it quickly James felt his face screwing up in disgust. Never mind that it obviously wasn't true, what a disgusting violation of privacy. He'd only recently launched into the spotlight, working his way up into the Premier League and then team captain in the last few years. He still didn't know how to handle the fame, especially invasive press like this.
His first priority was setting the ruth straight for his team, explaining exactly what happened and outlining strict instructions not to bring it up the next time they saw you.
"This is going to be a lot worse for her than me," He said, ending the conversation there.
He was correct. Rumours only spiralled from Peter's article. You'd stupidly created Google Alerts for your name; as a journalist, it made sense to keep track of where your writing was being shared. One day of this nonsense and you had all alerts silenced, not wanting to ever visit the internet ever again.
Apparently, this alleged affair was the most interesting thing young British people had ever experienced. The football star and the sports journalist. As you packed up to leave at the end of the day you were feeling sick to your stomach, already overwhelmed by the attention you never wanted on you.
Your face blanched as you approached the dizzying glass windows, a mass of reporters swarming the door. You didn't have to think hard to know they were waiting for you. You retreated to the restroom where they couldn't see you to rearrange your exit appearance. Pulling your coat tight against you and scarf up to cover the bottom half of your face, you plugged your iPod nano in to appear busy (and touched up your eye makeup for the inevitable photos that would make it back into the news cycle).
Physically and emotionally prepared you braved the crowd again, moving through with a polite but firm shove, making yourself a path down to the tube. You only snapped at one particularly rude paparazzi, giving him an instruction of where to 'stick it' as you hopped down the stairs to your station.
You ate a haphazard dinner by your computer, obsessively clicking through the various articles (and now personal blog posts) that had mentioned you. Every link made you feel worse about yourself.
The articles themselves were bad, most of them degrading you and congratulating James. Some had even produced old school photos of the both of you, even a few from your uni days when James was just starting out professionally and you were attending similar parties.
The articles were one thing, at least they usually had to be somewhat impartial. The blog posts by James' fangirls were downright cruel, calling you a slag based on a singular photograph and dragging your name through the mud.
You were drawn from your doom-scrolling by your cellphone ringing, Britney ringtone at least drawing a smile from you.
"Hello?"
"Get off the internet," Sirius Black said from the other end of the line.
"How'd you know?" You exited the webpage dutifully, already feeling the weight of the world's ugly words lifting from your shoulders.
"I figured. First time being written about isn't easy."
"It's certainly making me grateful I've never been so bitchy in my articles," You produced a hollow laugh, "I don't know how people can say these things about someone they've never met."
"That's why we like you," He said, "Mostly, at least. You stick to the sport and not our personal lives."
"Don't inflate my ego, Black, it's just because I don't like you guys," You joked, your mood already blooming back to somewhat more chipper.
"That's what I've been telling him!" You heard Remus call from further away, probably the other side of their living room. Sirius made an offended noise.
"Is Potter there?" You changed the topic, swirling your mouse around the window aimlessly, too afraid to check your work or personal notifications.
"He's out right now, calling someone official -- a publicist or lawyer friend. He's tearing his hair out about this, he feels awful for you." Both men explained, bickering about who exactly he was talking to.
"Yeah, I'm noticing only one of us is getting called a slut." You rolled your eyes even though they couldn't see you, balancing your cell between your shoulder and ear as you made a cup of tea. Sirius' barking laughter crackled through the speaker.
"Don't worry about it, love, everyone knows The Daily Mail is full of shite. Besides, I got that all the time."
"Yeah, in school! Not when you have a grown-up job to save face at!" Sirius conceded, apologising lightly. You shrugged him off; he was not the target of your anger at all.
"James'll be back soon, do you want to stay on the phone?" Remus asked and you answered without hesitation.
"No. I don't want to talk to him right now. We'll just find something to fight about, it's not worth it."
"He wants to make things better," Sirius offered, "He feels terrible."
"Maybe when I'm not so angry at the world." You left them with the offered compromise, hanging up to pity yourself for a few more hours before bed.
You didn't end up being fired over the incident, your bosses couldn't find a good reason to cite, but everyone in the office knew you were on thin ice. Most weren't afraid to highlight that fact. You were really starting to hate the Politics guys.
You just tried to keep your head down, diving into your articles and trying to keep in the higher-ups good graces. Amidst the drama though you'd been taken off all football coverage for the time being, banished to the irrelevant 'sports' you never even knew existed.
The week had taken you out of London to cover bizarre rural events like cheese rolling and bog snorkelling; not uninteresting but a big change of pace to the Premier League drama you were used to.
It did take your mind off of James and the media shitstorm for a day or two though. Being in a small town was much preferable to London, at least for the moment. The paparazzi weren't going to make the drive to find you for a single day when there were plenty more interesting figures to find in the city.
Plus, you were meeting the most interesting people. Though it was no Premier League final, everyone around was so wholly invested and excited by the competition that you couldn't help feeling the same, despite your initial hesitation.
Throughout the day it was just you, your notepad, your camera and the few thousand people who came to participate and observe. You'd already met and interviewed the woman who made the cheese, the previous year's winner and you were waiting impatiently to see who'd prevail now.
The paper was paying for you to stay overnight so you could chronicle the post-event celebrations, and you'd never been so glad to be working late. The key players in the day, organisers and competitors had all convened in the town's old pub, basically heaving under the weight of you all.
You held up your beer with the others despite hating the taste, grateful to be included in their toast to the day. You laughed as you tried to down it quickly, wanting the taste out of your mouth as soon as possible without refusing such a kind gift. Holding the pint up in the air victoriously you accepted the cheers of those around you, including the lovely middle-aged lady who made the ceremonial cheese and the man only a year or two older than you who'd won earlier.
"Finally letting your hair down!" He laughed and you smiled back, trying to remember his name. A glance down at your notepad said Drew. "Can I get you another?" You hoped he didn't notice your eyes widen, not expecting attention like that, not when you were allegedly working no less. You opened your mouth to agree when someone else answered for you.
"She doesn't like beer, thinks it tastes like piss." You whipped your neck around at the familiar voice, mouth dropping open at the sight of James Potter.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked, jovial politeness abandoned.
"You didn't remember that my family comes to watch every year?"
"Respectfully, why the fuck would I remember something like that?" You snapped, moving to leave and follow the much nicer Drew to the bar. James grabbed your hand lightly, stopping you from leaving.
"Wait, can we talk please?" You just looked at him for a long time, considering how much patience you had after a full day of work, then shrugged half-heartedly.
He led you outside and away from the crowd, both of you letting out a huff as you noticed the change in temperature.
"I liked your story on the bog snorkelling -- interesting stuff," James broke the awkward silence and you rolled your eyes aggressively.
"As if you read my pieces."
"I do!" He insisted, silently refusing the cigarette you offered. "I've read all your pieces, honest."
"But... huh? You're the one who always said I'd be a shit writer, I've spent years trying to get the negative internal James out of my head! You absolute dickhead!" You shoved his chest, turning back towards the door to return inside.
"Are you thick? I only said that because I fancied you!"
James' words rang heavy in the air, the street otherwise silent. You stared straight ahead of you for a moment, his words settling on top of you as you focused on the orange street lamp.
This whole time, this whole time, you'd been fighting the image you believed James had of you, striving to be better, never being satisfied, for nothing. This whole time you and James had been bickering and trading insults for nothing? And all his flirting... James' annoying charm and ironic compliments and innuendo-filled teasing were all genuine, after all this time? Suddenly your whole world had turned on its axis.
"What do you mean you said it because you fancied me? That is not normal!" You whirled around, accusatory finger pointed his way.
"I don't know! I thought I was supposed to! It wasn't cool to be a sap!" James argued back, running a hand through his already tousled curls.
"Jesus Christ," You muttered, "So what, you thought all my arguing back was just flirting?" James' silence told you all you needed to know.
"Come on, don't act like you didn't like it a little bit! As I recall you were always up for the fight, weren't you? You never avoided me or ignored me. Let's face it, you enjoyed it as much as I did." He stepped closer to you, breath visible in the cool air.
"I didn't enjoy it, what the hell are you talking about? Why would I enjoy trading schoolyard insults with some arrogant, idiotic football player who discredited the one thing I wanted most in my life?" Suddenly you were inches apart, heat emanating from both of you as you fought.
"Like you never said I was stupid for wanting to be a footballer? Face it, love, you're just as bad as me."
And suddenly, despite all your better judgement and every bit of sense in your head, you were kissing him. You didn't know exactly how it had happened, and if anyone were to ever ask you you would absolutely pin the blame on James but there you were, out in the middle of the street without a care in the world.
Every one of your senses was on fire, the smell of his cologne, the taste of his lips, the feeling of his soft curls under your fingers. Everything about James felt like he was made for you, like all the years of you revolving around each other, playing off the other's insult was just a lead-up, preparation for the very moment you kissed for the first time.
James' arms around you were warm, strong from years of working out and protective like a weighted blanket. One hand wrapped around your midsection and the other firmly on your neck you felt wholly surrounded by him, isolated in your own bubble of James.
It was probably a bad idea, but you weren't overly concerned with addressing that fact in any rush. It didn't come as you tilted your head to bring him even closer, it didn't come as you said hurried goodbyes in the pub and collected your coat, it didn't even come as you closed the door to your hotel room, undoing the buttons to James' shirt like they had a personal vendetta against you.
The admittance only came as you lay entangled with him, faces millimetres apart.
"Was that a bad idea?" You asked, genuine self-consciousness mixing with pragmatic anxiety.
"I mean, I quite enjoyed myself, love. Did you not?" James' cheeky smile made you snort out a giggle but you sobered up quickly, hitting him lightly on his toned chest.
"Don't turn this into a joke!" You ordered, "Have we just fucked everything up?" James just looked at you for a minute, taking in the sincerity in your voice and the depth of your eyes.
"Of course we haven't," He assured you. "Do you like me?"
"But--"
"Ah! Do you like me?" He reiterated and you paused, nodding shyly. "See? You like me and I like you. We'll figure everything else out. Start slow; baby steps."
"Baby steps," You agreed, sharing his smile. It really only hit you how much you actually liked James once you'd said it, finally noticing how he might've been looking at you the whole time.
You sent James off early in the morning, both of you needing to make it back to London quickly. You had to get your article written up and James had training. Thankfully there was no awkwardness in your goodbye; James had to rush to meet his parents to drive back by car and you had a train to catch. The only moment of hesitance came as you said goodbye, waving at each other with a giggle as James hopped down the steps. He hesitated halfway, turning to look at you with the glint of mischief in his eye that you'd become very well acquainted with.
In a moment he was at the top of the steps again, swooping in to steal another kiss. You rolled your eyes to hide an embarrassing smile, pushing him back in the direction he came.
"Haven't you got somewhere to be?" You asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. James mimed twisting a knife in his chest but continued down the stairs nonetheless, giving you one last smile before he turned a corner and disappeared from your sight. You sighed like a schoolgirl then laughed at yourself, packing the last of your things to get home.
As you sat on the train, green landscapes passed you through the window and you felt your cell phone buzz from the minuscule pocket of your work trousers.
thinking of u :P <3
You grinned, looking out at the scenery so the people around you wouldn't be able to figure out your embarrassing secret. You felt like a teenage girl again, blushing over a text from the guy you had a crush on.
Everything turned to shit in a matter of hours after returning to London.
First, James' publicist made his statement. It wasn't necessarily terrible, but it really had no regard for you. No statement declaring you both on good terms, no coming to your defence or asking for the press to respect you. James looked like the hero saving a stupid drunk girl, and you still looked desperate for the most popular footballer in the country. You were decently sure it wasn't James' fault, but it did significantly dampen your lovesick giddiness.
The office was half-empty when you arrived, kitten heels clicking against the ground. You said a quick hello to Lily, still dutifully typing away at her computer. You followed her lead, exporting your notes to your desktop computer, formatting the piece and going through edits to have it ready for the next paper.
The sun was setting, sending orange and pink streaks through the sky when the door to your boss' office slammed open, echoing above the cubicles.
"You kissed him?" He yelled and you paled, knowing exactly what he was talking about but not how he knew. That problem was solved when he slammed the magazine down in front of you, no doubt just delivered by the skittery young receptionist running back to the elevator.
FACT OR FICTION? POTTER AND REPORTER CAUGHT SNOGGING AMIDST PUBLIC DENIAL
Fuck. That could not be worse.
The whole piece was essentially dragging your name through the absolute mud now that they had the confirmation there was something going on between you and James. The whole world thought you were sleeping to the top, or for the best scoop, and everyone hated you for it.
You looked up at your boss, words dying on your tongue.
"Please tell me that's not you," He said, grasping at the thinning hair on his head. You couldn't deny it.
"I..." You trailed off, searching for anything you could say to make it better. "I didn't mean to. And I'm being completely honest when I say that the first article was all bullshit. Things have... happened since then." You were already on the verge of tears. Even on an optimistic day, you couldn't have denied that this was utterly shit.
"Jesus." Your boss muttered, beginning to pace. "Look, I like you, you know? You do good work and you're never outta line, but I reckon the higher-ups are gonna be done with you. They wanted you out over the first article but I convinced them it was all speculation. This is proof and makes us all look bad that you're sleeping with someone you interview every other bloody week. Look, I'll do what I can in damage control, but I'd be bringing your stuff home tonight. I'm sorry."
How could he have just left you with that absolute bombshell? Effectively firing you, just like that? The tears had made their way up to your waterline, sitting there mocking you as you refused to let them fall. You submitted your piece and shut off your laptop, angrily stuffing your sparse personal decorations into your shoulder bag to get the fuck out of the building as fast as possible.
The paparazzi were waiting again, of course, like that was what you really needed. You pushed past them, making sure to land an extra hard stomp on Peter's foot, lips twitching into the beginnings of a smile as you heard him curse.
You sat on the tube, staring intently at your feet and trying desperately to think of anything but your current situation. You'd already been approached by someone who'd coughed out "Skank," which really hadn't done anything for your sour mood. All you wanted was to crawl into your bed and never emerge.
You wandered down the street between the metro station and your flat, hands shoved deep in your coat pockets.
"Hey!" Someone called and you glanced over on instinct, senses drawn by the interruption of an otherwise quiet evening. "You're the girl who kissed James Potter, yeah?" It was a girl still in her school uniform, probably sixteen or seventeen. You thought through your options quickly and shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Wicked. How was it?" She asked, chewing on pink gum. There was an aura about her that you liked, not judgemental like everyone else you'd met. If you were still in school you thought you might've been friends with her.
"Pretty good, I'd do it again." A cheeky almost-joke between the two of you, ironic given the shit that it had caused for you.
"We were talking about it at school. Pretty shit how they've treated you. Like they all wouldn't jump at a chance to get close to 'im." You liked the way that she didn't get any closer. Just the two of you standing face to face, divided by the empty road.
"Exactly what I've been saying," You agreed, tucking your hair behind your ears.
"If it was the other way around, if you were the famous one, James would be getting congratulated for getting with you, not ridiculed by the mindless gossip columns. All my friends think it's utter bullshit, stopped buyin' 'em and everything." You could have kissed her if that wasn't tremendously creepy. In five minutes, this schoolgirl had vindicated everything you'd been saying for the past week in a way no one else had.
"Thank you," You said, with more sincerity than you probably should have had for a complete stranger. The girl just shrugged with a smile, nodding before continuing down the street, the sound of her leather school shoes growing quieter with every step.
You felt it in your whole body every time you thought of the interaction for the next few hours, warmth spreading through your chest as you were reminded there were still good people around.
Your other reminder of that fact came with the sound of your buzzer, the laughing of Lily and Marlene echoing off the stone of your building. As you let them in curiously they presented armfuls of takeout, the smell of Chinese food immediately floating through your flat.
Lily took the responsibility of setting out the food while Marlene took control of your little television, flipping between channels until she found a suitable romcom starting.
You didn't speak about what had happened, no one mentioned James Potter or the bloody Sunday People. Yet, there was an air of tenderness that let you know the girls knew exactly what was happening and how you were feeling about it.
Still, there was something bothering you. You couldn't give it a name immediately, only a tugging in your stomach while the girls were entertaining you, but persistent nonetheless.
It wasn't until you were all crammed into your bed, the other two peacefully asleep, that you could identify the sensation. It was an overwhelming desire, a need to write that you hadn't felt in ages. It was the same feeling that had pushed you to be a journalist in the first place, an inspiration you typically only felt watching a magical soccer final.
You crept out of your bedroom, switching on your computer at the kitchen table, squinting at the aggressive blue light. And when a blank Word document appeared before you, you started writing. Obsessively, feverishly, words poured out of you at a rate that hadn't happened since you'd started at Sunday People.
The words of the school girl fresh in your mind, you started an article vastly different from your usual kind. Instead of strategies and highlights you dissected your own experience of the past week, saying everything you hadn't let yourself unload to the paparazzi outside your office (though with fewer curse words than they would have received). It could have been minutes or hours that you were writing and you wouldn't have noticed, eyes glued on the screen in front of you.
You didn't realise you'd fallen asleep until Lily woke you gently with a hand on your shoulder, offering a steaming mug of tea. It was light outside, the world already up and awake. You were glad it was a weekend as the girls didn't need to rush off to work, cooking a simple breakfast for you all to share.
"What've you written?" Marlene asked, the second part of her sentence unnecessary: since you don't have a job to write for. You shrugged, taking a bite of some eggs.
"Just something I had to get off my chest. Might see if I can sell it to someone to tide me over 'til I figure out what I'm doing with my life."
"Can we read?" You made a 'go ahead' gesture, the computer already open to the screen.
A WOMAN'S UNWILLING WEEK IN THE PUBLIC EYE:
How a woman always loses.
You sat in mild discomfort as Lily and Marlene read your piece in silence, anxiously awaiting their reactions. They weren't what you were expecting.
When they turned back to face you, Lily had tears in her eyes, red tones brought out in her skin. Even Marlene looked uncharacteristically moved, not at all the reaction you were expecting. Firstly, it was completely unedited so you suspected it was somewhat of a mess from your midnight haze. Secondly, it was more of a vent than anything, getting your hatred for invasive paparazzi off your chest. You thought you'd all laugh about it then move on with your days.
"Lils, what's wrong?" You didn't mean to laugh, it was more out of surprise than anything else.
"It's just, it's so raw and real. It's so unfair," She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater.
"Jesus, you don't have to cry," You said lightly, "I'm fine! I hated that bloody place anyway."
"That's not the point," Marlene pointed out, "And Lily's right, this is really confronting stuff. It's great."
"Thanks," You mumbled, studying a lamp for something to do.
"Can we talk about James?" Your head snapped back to look at her.
"What about him?"
"Clearly there's been some... developments in your relationship, which we don't have to talk about--"
"Yet," Marlene interrupted.
"The point is that it looks like there's feelings involved now. What are you doing about them? Because if you publish that, it's putting everything out there, and even I can't tell how you feel about James right now," Lily finished.
"I don't want to talk to him," You said quickly, "I know it's not his fault but I can't think about him without getting mad. It's like I wrote; he ends up fine while I lose my job over one kiss."
"Understandable," Marlene nodded, "But if I know James at all, he'll be going crazy every minute that you ignore him."
You had much to consider when the girls left. The state of your career, your feelings for James, everything felt too big and overwhelming to make any decisions about. So, you took a nap.
The rest of your weekend was spent sending your then-edited article to as many newspapers and blogs as you could and hiding out in your flat, dodging James' calls.
Unfortunately, you liked him. You'd figured out that much. More unfortunately, he hadn't done anything to help you out in all this mess, benefiting from the press in a way that only England's favourite footballer could.
On Monday morning your piece was published. Not the biggest or most reputable newspaper, if your name hadn't still been trending it probably would have gone largely noticed. Instead, it blew up.
It had mixed reviews, of course, a tell-all so blatantly feminist would always attract its haters, but you were floored by the support it was receiving. Women were validating your experiences in a way you hadn't expected even a few days ago. It made you not so scared to leave the house anymore.
On Tuesday morning, Remus called you. You had the thought that it might have been James calling to grovel on Remus' phone, but you thought it was a smart enough idea you'd indulge anyway. If it was Sirius you wouldn't have picked up.
Instead, it was actually Remus.
"Come to the media room this afternoon," He said, evidently not wasting time with pleasantries.
"What?" You asked, caught off-guard.
"Just do it. Two o'clock."
"Remus, you know I don't have a job anymore, right?"
"Come off it, you know anyone on the team would let you in. You've got quite a name for yourself," He chanced a joke and you rolled your eyes.
"What, whore?" You retorted, only a little worried it would be true.
"I'm hanging up," Was all he said before the line went dead. You huffed, snapping your phone closed with all the attitude of a spoiled private schoolgirl.
Yet, at two o'clock you were standing in front of the media room at James' team's stadium, questioning all of your life choices.
The room seemingly went silent when you entered, dozens of pairs of eyes staring you down as you nervously stuck to the wall. You felt the derogatory, leering stares from all the sleazy men who'd been accusing you of sleeping with players since you first started in the field. It made you want to drop dead.
James made his way to the lectern up the front of the room with a cough, quieting down the chaos.
"Afternoon, everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here, I've got some things I'd like to address.
"As you all well know, I've been a frequent face in the papers lately, and not for my brilliant playing as it usually is. I recently got followed down a street after a night out looking after an old friend who happened to be a colleague of yours. Now I know that my godly good looks lead you to believe that I don't feel the same as all of you, but I do. And I'd like you all to consider how you'd feel if a man with a camera followed you all the way home after you'd been out for a night with your friends and a few cheeky drinks. It's pretty invasive if you can't imagine.
"Now, all this press hasn't really affected me. However, my dear friend has been subject to misogynistic articles, slut-shaming and harassment all because we were seen out together and a few hateful words from someone I used to consider a mate." You had no idea where this was going, but you were absolutely fascinated. James was more well-spoken, more mature and solemn than you'd ever seen him, though he still had his audience in the palm of his hand with his casual jokes. It was a masterclass in public speaking.
"If you haven't read any of my friend's pieces I would highly recommend them; she's got a brilliant voice and I personally read everything she publishes. However, I'm not here to talk about her work; I'd actually like to talk about her if you all don't mind."
What the hell was happening?
"In the midst of all these articles over the last week, I know you've all seen various pictures of us, including from secondary school. A few come to my mind, our graduation picture is a highlight, but I'd really like to talk about this one." James brandished a printed-out photo you recognised instantly.
"This photo was taken when we were twelve or thirteen years old at someone's party. That night, as you tend to do when you're young and bored, we played spin the bottle and ended up being each other's first kiss. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm telling this story now, and it's because ever since that night as I have recently realised, almost a decade later, I have been embarrassingly, stupidly in love with her."
Your life wasn't real, it absolutely could not be.
"And though I've done some incredibly dumb things over the years, somehow she's managed to like me back -- at least a little. So I'm setting the record straight right now, she is not 'sleeping to the top' or trying to get a secret scoop out of me because I'm the one who's been chasing after her for twelve years.
"I know I've been rambling on for far too long so I'll wrap it up here, but I just wanted to end this little conference with a warning that if I see any more disgusting, hateful articles about her, you won't be getting another comment from me again. So nice to see you all!"
The room started to trickle out but you were stuck to your spot against the wall, frozen in absolute shock. You hardly even noticed the dirty looks you got from some of the people you'd been working alongside for years.
You spotted James in another corner, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and messing with his hair. A nervous tell.
The room was almost completely empty when you approached him, heels muffled by the carpeted floor.
"Hey stranger," You said softly, feeling way out of your depth. He turned in an instant, smile lighting up his face then melting away as it was replaced with an insecure frown.
"Was that okay? I didn't want to embarrass you but I wanted to step up and do something and protect you and--"
"Have you really loved me since we were twelve?" You cut him off bluntly.
"Every day since, as I've figured out," He agreed with a slight nod, glasses slipping down his nose slightly.
"What about all the flirting with Lily? The other girls over the years?"
"So obviously fake. Distractions. It's never been anyone but you, love."
You could only stare at him for a moment, your whole world shifting beneath your feet. James' face became increasingly worried, brow furrowing more the longer you remained unresponsive.
"If you don't feel the same that's totally alright, I still stand by what I did and I don't want you being harassed for--"
You'd always thought that cutting someone off with a kiss was ridiculously cheesy, reserved for shitty Hallmark movies with grown-up child actors who never got their big break. Turns out though, when you realise that your girlish crush on the star footballer has actually been a complicated love of twelve years, you don't really want to waste any more time.
When you woke up on Wednesday morning with James next to you, body heat keeping you cozy, you were convinced you had to be dreaming. When you eventually got up to check your emails and start your day the hypothesis was only solidified by the impossible email waiting in your inbox.
The fucking BBC wanted to hire you as a football commentator and sports writer. Your dream job at your dream company. If you let out an embarrassing squeal then that was none of your business.
You were still convinced you were hallucinating the whole thing until James came in with his biggest smile and that look in his eyes that told you he probably had a hand in getting your name on the BBC desks.
Even a few weeks ago you would have been mad at him, assuming it was mocking or he had ulterior motives. But it wasn't a few weeks ago anymore, and James Potter's whole, endless heart belonged to you. You weren't letting that go anytime soon.
#joâs readings âĄÌ#james potter x reader#gia <3#i did not know what chess boxing was wth bog snorkeling either ?? cheese rolling ??
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Answer this â Hayden Christensen
summary: Being a smaller actress and being chronically online is all fun and games until you're very much famous and older boyfriend comes into the background of your Instagram live so you make him do a Q and A.
cw: fem!reader, age gap mentioned, nothing smutty just pure fluff
req: this was requested by @jameskellysgirl! I hope you enjoy mama
Word count: 2159 words
You watched as the chat moved quickly on the screen, trying to read out someones comment while you quickly blended in the foundation on your face.
It was five p.m. and your boyfriend of a year and five months was taking you to your favorite Italian restaurant for the evening for your usual date night even though you insisted on staying in for the night and ordering a few pizzas but your lovely boyfriend wanted to spoil you.
You called yourself lucky because you were dating the infamous Hayden Christensen who was a much bigger and well known actress then you.
The two of you met at an after-party for an event that you were invited to as a plus-one with one of your friends. The two of you instantly clicked and immediately started flirting which led to quite romantic dates and then eventually; he asked you out and you said yes.
You knew that this was a different kind of relationship since he never really dated someone much younger than him and you never dated someone older then you before either so it was new for the both of you but the two of you made it work and you both had a happy healthy relationship.
You are chronically online, as your friend would say, but you respect your boyfriends wishes and rarely posted him unless you had permission too.
Hayden was a private person and didn't have social media nor did he talk about his private life outside of acting. He just preferred to stay on his farm in Canada and build ponds to eventually watch the wildlife formed around it.
He loved to stay at home and cook you a home meal but sometimes he would just rather take you out and spoil you like you deserved because in his eyes; you and his daughter were his whole world.
So, as you sat in front of your phone doing a Instagram live stream while putting on your makeup, you were surprised when you noticed your boyfriend come into view.
Hayden was wearing his signature Carhartt hat, a black shirt, a black button-down shirt over it, black jeans, and his Adidas Oswego. He looked good, per-usual and you couldn't help but smile as you saw him appear behind you on your phone screen.
"Hey bab- Oh I didn't know you were streaming" He spoke sheepishly as he gave the phone a little wave which sent your comments going wild. You smiled at him, motioning him to come closer as he stood in the doorway. "Babe, come here" You said confidently and his cheeks turned a soft shade of red.
Hayden didn't understand much about Instagram lives but he understood that it was live and there was at least over hundred people watching him in the comfort of his own home. He didn't mind it of course because he loved to hear you read out the comments about him but that was only because he was off camera.
He walked over to you nervously, placing his hands on your shoulders and gently massaging them. You smiled, feeling the warmth of his touch. Tilting your head back to look up at him, you murmured, "Say hi to the camera."
"Hi everyone" He flashed the camera a nervous smile before turning his attention back on you. "You look beautiful by the way" He whispered in your ear which made you blush vigorously.
When you looked back at the screen, you saw the truckload of comments begging and pleading for a Q and A between you and Hayden but mostly for him. It wasn't a bad idea since he had been coming more and more out of his comfort zone recently and you knew wouldn't be opposed to a few questions.
"Do you wanna do a little Q&A for all your depraved fans?" you teased, watching as he gave you a thoughtful look. After a moment, he shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. Grabbing a chair, he pulled it up beside you and settled in, resting his hand on your thigh.
"Sure, what's the harm in that?" he replied with a grin.
You giggled, looking at the screen to find a first question to ask him. One of them caught your attention so you turned your head to look at him. "Who's you're favorite character in Star Wars?" You asked him which made him let out a chuckle before smacking his lips together/
"Well, I always liked the characters in masks when I was younger, so itâs probably Boba Fett," he responded, his eyes softening as he looked at you with a loving smile, clearly appreciative that you were continuing the conversation.
"Who's yours?" he asked, and you couldnât help but blush, the question catching you slightly off guard.
"I always liked Anakin," you replied, your voice a little more confident than you felt, though the warmth of your blush didnât go unnoticed by your boyfriend. His laughter filled the air, light, and teasing, as he grinned at your response.
"Really?" He asked, slightly in disbelief that you, his girlfriend, favored the character he played. You sheepishly nodded your head, before burying your face into your hands as a way to hide the blush forming on your face.
Hayden quickly noticed this and grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face and lacing his fingers with one of them as he moved the other one to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "Why are you so embarrassed? It's cute" He reassured you and you just rolled your eyes, desperately wanting to move on to the next question.
You glanced at the screen, scanning through the fan questions until one caught your eye. Smiling to yourself, you finally settled on it. "How would you feel about owning a cat?" you asked, unable to stifle a soft laugh.
Hayden, of course, knew you were a cat person. He knew youâd been wanting one for ages, so it wasnât a surprise when that particular question popped up. He chuckled softly, shaking his head at you with a knowing smile, then ran a hand over his face.
"Y'know, Iâve thought about it because you keep asking me," he admitted, glancing to the side for a moment before meeting your eyes again. "Iâve considered it. Theyâre great pets, and honestly, I think Briar would love having one around, too."
"Plus, we can always get a barn cat" You spoke with a confident smile and he nodded his head at you, agreeing with you in that moment. "We could but were are not getting those hairless cats," He said and you made an offended expression at him before crossing your arms over your chest.
"Why not?! They are so cute-" you playfully jabbed at him, knowing that this would start a playful banter between the two of you.
"They are ugly!" He argued back which made you laugh and double over in your chair, placing a hand on his shoulder before straightening yourself back up and shaking your head at him.
"They are an ugly cute." you remarked and he couldn't help but shake his head at you while you searched for another question for him to answer.
"Okay... Have you thought about getting social media?" You asked, bitting down on you're bottom lip as you watched him think of a response.
Hayden chuckled, leaning back a bit as he considered the question. "Ah, social media... you know, I get asked that a lot," he said with a smile. "Honestly, Iâve thought about it. I get that itâs a great way to connect with fans and share a bit more of, well... real life."
He paused, scratching the back of his neck, looking thoughtful. "But I kinda like being a bit of a mystery. Besides, you know how bad I am with technologyâIâd probably end up posting the same thing five times or something," he laughed. "Maybe one day... but for now, Iâll just live vicariously through your account!"
You shook your head, looking down at the groan as you played with the necklace around your neck. "So no social media?" you responded, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.
He shrugged with a playful grin, "Yeah, I think for now, no social media. I like keeping things a bit more low-key." He paused, giving you a knowing look. "But who knows? Maybe I'll surprise everyone one day and join. I'll just need you to give me a crash course on how to post the right thing without embarrassing myself."
He laughed softly, his usual laid-back charm shining through. "Until then, I'll stick to enjoying all the posts you share instead."
"I feel like when you do join, you'll break the internet" You joked before looking back at the screen to see the time. it was almost time for you to leave since you had a reservation but you had time for one more question so you looked at the comments again while Hayden caressed your thigh.
"When are you gonna propose?" you asked him and he just gave you a look. Sometimes you're boyfriend was difficult to read and maybe that was because he liked to keep things private but you also wanted to know how he would respond to your question.
Hayden gave you a small smirk, his eyes glinting with a mix of amusement and something deeper. He leaned back slightly, as if considering how to respond. He was always a bit of a mystery, especially when it came to things that mattered most.
After a brief pause, he looked at you with a knowing smile, though his gaze was soft, almost tender. "You know me too well," he said, his voice low and teasing. "I like to keep a little suspense, donât I?"
He reached out, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering near your face. âBut⊠when I do, youâll know. Itâll be everything you deserve.â
His tone was serious, but there was still that playful edge. "Until then, I think youâll just have to keep wondering."
You rolled your eyes, gently pushing his shoulder as you pouted at him slightly. "You're no fun" A laugh escaped past your boyfriend's lips when you said that, making him just shrug your shoulders before you turned your attention onto the camera.
"Alright, I'm ending the live since Mr. Supense over is taking me out. Night" You quickly spoke into the camera before finally ending your live. Once the live ended, you turned your attention to your boyfriend who was just staring at you with a loving expression on his face.
You really did wonder if he thought about it; being married to you. You knew you wanted that life with Hayden and you also knew that Hayden wanted to have another kid, to give Briar that opportunity to be a big sister so you really did want to know if that was in the cards of your relationship.
"Are you gonna propose one day?" You asked seriously, tilting your head to the side as you wanted for him to respond.
Hayden met your gaze, his expression softening as he sensed the seriousness in your question. He didnât rush to answer, instead taking a moment to look at you with that familiar, thoughtful expression he often wore when he was being sincere.
âOf course I am,â he said quietly, his voice steady but full of warmth. He reached for your hand, gently squeezing it. âYouâre everything to me. When the time is right, Iâll ask you. Youâll know it, I promise.â
His gaze lingered on you, his smile tender but knowing. "I want it to be something specialâsomething that feels right for both of us."
You couldn't help but smile back at him. Hayden was always like that, you remembered your first date with him and how he wanted the moment to be special for both of you which ultimately led to you spraining your ankle because you decided to wear heels and him having to carry you up to your apartment.
It was definitely memorable despite the sprained ankle. It was special and something you often talked and joked about.
"You are always keeping me on my toes" You replied jokingly as the two of you were seemingly leaning closer to each other for a kiss.
Hayden chuckled softly, the playful spark in his eyes growing as he leaned in closer, his lips just a breath away from yours. âI canât help it,â he teased, his voice low and warm. âItâs fun keeping you guessing.â
The space between you seemed to shrink as you both leaned in, the anticipation hanging in the air. His hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin as he smiled, just before closing the distance for a kiss. The moment felt like a quiet promise, an unspoken understanding that whatever was ahead, youâd face it together.
A/N: Hello my babies! I hope you all enjoy this and espically the person who requested this! I actually had a lot of fun writing this and I am really proud of my work! This is also my first ever Hayden Christensen content on this app so feel free to like or reblog! I love you all!
#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader#moonys requests#hayden christensen is so hot#need this man so bad#this was actually my favorite thing I have written ngl
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What Are You Willing To Do?
Ch. 2: Date 1 Pt. 1
Note: Thank you so much for the love you all have been showing this story so far! Thank you for reading, and for the kinds messages I have received thus far! I love interacting and seeing your thoughts and comments so keep 'em coming. I want to take this time to remind you that these characters will be flawed. Rafe is....Rafe, but we love him anyway. And Milan is...someone who is compatible with Rafe. They won't always be the depiction of a healthy relationship, but this is fiction and fun. This chapter isn't too bad, but those who have read the snippet know how it's gonna get. Once again, I have songs for this ship so if anyone is interested in them let me know, and feel free to share some with me if you catch a vibe. Finally, let me know if you have any questions or comments. Other than that, I hope you enjoy. This one is a lot shorter than chapter 1, but it is a 2 parter, so don't hate me. Love ya! <3333
âWait.â
Rafe pauses, loosening his grip on Milanâs hair and pulling back slightly, irritated that sheâd stopped him just as their lips brushed and she breathed the smoke heâd just poured into her mouth between them. âWhat? Whatâs up?â
âI donât,â She sighs, her cool breath on his face, eyes still shut as if sheâs forcing herself to pause this moment between them. âI donât just hook up with guys, you know? Maybe we couldâŠI dunno.â
Oh. Oh. Rafe understands. HeâdâŠheâd forgotten himself for a moment. This isnât some touron stumbling onto the couch next to him, throwing herself at him. She wasnât one of those gold digging bitches that tries to fuck him with faulty condoms in the bottom of her purse. Sheâs the kind of girl who has her own shit. She doesnât need him for a come up. Or at least she doesnât think she does.Â
He arrogantly thinks to himself that Milan hasnât met a man like Rafe Cameron. Heâs spent most of his life preparing, becoming the type of man that can run his family, keep them safe and comfortable. The type of son fathers are proud to have and the type of man women want to give a baby. Thatâs the man who heâs made himself be.Â
Rafe had been so focused, only allotting himself time for a little bit of fun once in a while, heâd forgotten that one day he might stumble across a girl that had the potential to be a woman. His woman.Â
He nods slowly, a small smile forming on his face as he pulls back more, releasing her head completely and smoothing his hand back onto her knee. âNah, I get it. We should get to know each other a little better. How âbout you spend the day with me tomorrow?â
Milan perches herself up at that, back straightening even more as her face lights up. âReally? You wanna spend the day with me?â
Rafe rests his head back on the top of the couch, sweeping his thumb on her bottom lip before biting his own and nodding. âYeah, I wanna show you a good time. Get you a little more comfortable with me so I can kiss those pretty lips of yours.â
Both sets.
âOkay, wait, Iâm excited. Youâre gonna be my first friend here.â
âFriend?â Rafe scoffs. ââMânot gonna be your friend, Princess.â
âWell,â Milan shrugs, âLike, I donât know what I could call you, youâre not my man-â
âYet. Not your man yet.â He and the woman next to him share twin smiles and Rafe only becomes more invigorated by Milanâs eyeroll and shy grin. âRoll your eyes if you want to, Iâm a determined guy.âÂ
âDetermined?â
âYeah, like I know what I like, I work for what I want, so-â
âSo what?â Milan giggles, âYouâŠyou want me? I should get ready or something?â
âYeah.â Rafe says flippantly, as if he wasnât essentially making a threat of courtship to a girl heâd just met like 12 hours before. He wasnât quite sure what heâd fully wanted from her yet. But the need to have her was nagging at him. Maybe it was lust. She was hot, forbidden fruit for him. He could hear the curses Ward would spit at him now if he fucked around and ruined things with this girl, made an enemy of her dad. Maybe it was how sweet she seems. Heâs always liked shiny, new things. When he was a kid, he had to have stuff before his friends did. Toys. Shoes. Stocks. Maybe heâs graduated to feeling that way about women.Â
Something about how he doesnât want to look away. Something about the way she was smiling at him, how heâs talked to her the most, how in a room full of guys drooling over her, those big pretty eyes were locked on him. Rafe felt like he had to look into this weird feeling sheâs been stirring in his chest since heâd seen her.Â
Itâs whatâs best for Milan anyway. None of the rest of these limp dick motherfuckers should have her. Theyâre not real men. Not like Rafe.
Milan hums as she removes the golden under eye patches from under her eyes, massaging in the serum they leave atop of her skin. Grimacing at a gust of damp wind from outside she pads against the marble floor of her bathroom and pushes the double doors leading to the patio attached closed. âStupid, island humidity.â She pouts as she combs through her bob again, praying for no puffiness today.
The sky fights to brighten in the early morning. Itâs 5:00 a.m. and Rafe Cameron was going to be picking her up in 30 minutes.Â
After the party last night Sarah had run over to her on the front lawn, hugging her tightly before declaring she was going home with John B. and offering for Milan to come with them. When she declines with a smile, the blonde fixes her brother with a glare, to which heâd returned with a middle finger, and stumbled off in her manâs arms.Â
Rafe drove Milan back to her house and parked them out front, eyes carefully rotating between staring at Milan sitting pretty in his passenger seat, and watching for a sign of her father at the door. He let her toy with his fingers as she fluttered her lashes at him and he described what he does throughout the day, Or, rather, what theyâd be doing today.
When heâd mentioned picking her up after the gym Milan had jumped at the opportunity to go with him. She loved going to the gym every morning before sheâd moved and she was happy to keep it going. And it wouldnât hurt to see Rafe work out.Â
It was all she could think about. Itâs not just his height. Even though heâs soâŠso tall. At least 6â2. Rafe is big. Muscle. Strength. Yesterday heâd basically hoisted her full weight into his truck with one arm. The preppy boy polo that heâd thrown on for their families hadnât hidden anything and his tight crew neck that he wore to the party basically outlined everything for her.Â
She quite literally wanted him to throw her around like a ragdoll. Or let her climb him like a tree. Whatever, Rafe is hot.Â
He has an intense vibe, seemingly takes himself very seriously. But, Milan figures she could relax him. Loosen him up a little bit.Â
They were gonna have so much fun. Smiling at her own reflection in the mirror, Milan spritzes vanilla Sol de Janeiro and all but fucking skips down the steps and to the kitchen.
âGood morning, Miss Milan, youâre awake early. I just started prepping for breakfast, but I could make you a coffee while you wait.â The private chef that her parents had hired a couple years ago had made the move with them. Theyâd paid for her to come with them to Outer Banks and offered to increase her salary becauseâŠwellâŠit wasnât their nice home in Quebec that she was used to.Â
âNo, thank you, Miss Ally.â Milan reaches over, stealing a newly washed strawberry and biting into it. âAnd my parents arenât awake, right?â
âOf course not. You know your mother wonât roll out of bed until she smells the food cooking and your dad wonât come until Iâve had to warm it up twice. Why? Are you alright, honey?â
The younger woman nods, tossing the green stem into the trash and reaching for two travel cups. âCan you keep a secret? I have, like, a date today.âÂ
âLike a date?â
âYeah, with a guy. Heâs really cute, and sweet. So,â Milan begins sifting matcha, smiling down at the cup and resting her cheek on her shoulder. ââMâgonna hang out with him today.â
âLess than 48 hours and thereâs a boy, huh? Atta girl.â Miss Ally passes Milan the vanilla protein powder. âYouâve been worried about the move, thinking it was a bad idea, and here you are making friends.â
âMhm, hot ones. With blue eyes and dimples.â
âAnd where,â Ally nudges Milan out of the way as she pours the hot water into the travel mug, âam I supposed to tell your parents you are when youâre out with Mr. Blue Eyes and Dimples?âÂ
âTouring the island.â She chirps.Â
âWith who?â
âJust likeâŠgenerally. They should be cool with it honestly, I just know theyâre gonna make it weird, but like, heâs the son of Dadâs first friend here so he shouldnât be mad. How come he gets a boyfriend and I donât?â
âOh, just say that to your parents, Iâm sure theyâll go for it then.â Ally snorts, whisking the eggs as Milan seals the travel mugs, laughing to herself as the girl slides both of the pink cups to the end of the counter next to her gym bag.
When Rafe pulls up outside of the Cabot house, he texts Milan before hopping out of his truck and jogging up the cobblestone. He agreed not to ring the doorbell because her parents were awake but heâd be damned if he didnât pick her up at the door.Â
As he stands on at the doorstep he adjusts the hat he has rested on his head and rocks on his feet impatiently. He isnât waiting long. The door swings open and heâs immediately hit with the sweet smell of vanilla and soon after is met with the walking wet dream carrying the scent.Â
âGood morning!â Milan grins, tossing her arms around his neck, bouncing up into his arms. Rafe isnât fucking stupid, heâs quick to catch her around the waist and squeeze, relishing in the feeling of her pressed against him.Â
âMorning, princess.â he murmurs into her hair, squeezing her again for good measure before placing her back on her feet. âYou, uh, you always go to the gym in shit like that?â
âShit like what? Stop.â she laughs as he snaps the elastic of her leggings.Â
âYou just look good. Thatâs all Iâm sayinâ.â He chews the gum in his mouth and nudges her chin with his knuckle, mumbling, âWatch your mouth.â
âYeah? Thank you.â she grins, looking away from him briefly. âI madeâŠI made you something, like a gym drink or whatever.
âThatâs cute sweetheart, what do you like me or somethinâ?â Rafe snorts, choosing to ignore the fact that the travel mug she was pushing into his hands was bubble gum pink. He holds his hand out to her, not even looking back as he starts guiding her over to his truck. When he hears a little shuffle from her he looks back and glances down at her feet. âWhat the fuck, your shoes arenât tied.â
âOkay, one of them untied when I was making you this delicious protein shake and I didnât wanna make you wait-âÂ
âChrist.â Rafe grunts, unlocking his car and wrenching the door open, planting his hands on Milanâs waist and hoisting her into the seat easily. He tugs her foot onto his lap and begins tying the lace of her sneaker tightly. âGonna break your fuckinâ neck.â
âI wasnât gonna fall, Rafe-â
âYou literally were letting me drag you down those steps.â When heâs done Rafe lifts her leg into the car, closing the door and walking around the driverâs side and climbing in. After he clicks his seatbelt on, he pauses and frowns when he sees Milanâs pout staring forward at the road. He puffs out a breath. âWhat? Whatâs wrong?â
âYou havenât said âthank youâ. For your drink.âÂ
âWh-are you serious?â
âYes. You seriously havenât said âthank you.ââÂ
âUhâŠâ Rafeâs brows furrow as he observes the girl. Arms crossed, dramatic frown on her pretty, glossed lips, knees pointed away from him. âTh-thank you.â
âYouâre welcome!â she immediately warms up, clicking her own seatbelt on and taking a sip of her drink, moving back to the middle of her seat. As Rafe tries to sort through what quick, guerilla warfare heâd just experienced, he starts driving the car.Â
So thatâs her game. Sheâs cute and pretty and pouts like a fuckinâ brat when she doesnât feel like sheâs getting what she wants. Or someone is saying something she doesnât wanna hear. All sheâs showing me is that Iâm exactly what she needs.
âMâjust sayinâ like your shirtâs a little slutty. Like itâs tight, I can see your nipples and everything.â
âDonât say shit like that, what the fuck?âÂ
âItâs like tight and stuff, like itâs a little bit of a hoochie shirt.âÂ
âHoo-hoochie shirt. Fuckinâ brat.â Rafe shakes his head. In the time itâs taken to drive to the gym and for Rafe to put his card down to get Milan a temporary membership, sheâd clearly been trying to test him. She was pushing boundaries to see what he would and wouldnât accept. And he would try to be patient. But the jokes werenât gonna be as funny when he was using her mouth for what he really wanted to use it for. Not now. He had to wait. To humor her. She was cute. Heâd give her that. Maybe he needed to be cute back. âDonât work out in the damn shirt anyway,âÂ
Milanâs eyes widen as she stares up at Rafe from where sheâs stretching on the floor. She bites her lip and shifts her gaze to herself in the mirror as he easily tugs the tight shirt off of his chiseled muscles, tossing it into his gym bag next to her.Â
Jesus. She bites her lip, berating herself inwardly as she glances at the tanned skin he was now baring for the world to see, six pack on display as he starts doing some standing stretches. âHere, sweetheart.â Rafe crouches next to her, pushing one of his airpods into her ear. âYou, uh, didnât have headphones, so you can just listen to my shit.â
âCan we make a spotify jam?â
âWhat?â
âSo, I can add songs too, can we make a jam? And weâd be listening to the same thing, at the same time, you know?â
âI mean, yeah, sure why the fuck not? Youâre not gonna add any corny shit are you? Mâtrustinâ you with my workout. Like thatâs pretty fuckinâ special.â
âOh my God, Rafe, IâmâŠIâm sure we have basically the same taste in music.â
Rafe and Milan are at war for essentially their whole warm up. They agree to separate for cardio and then meet back up for them both to try some of each otherâs usual workouts. With the shared music blasting in their ears, they both still felt like they were hanging out for the 40 minutes that they are apart. Rafe spent half of his run on the treadmill listening to BeyoncĂ© and Sabrina Carpenterâs discographies while Milan genuinely flinched on the stairmaster with Travis Scott and 50 Cent pounding against her ear drums. Both of them looking at each other with sick satisfaction when it was their turn to pick a song, making a game out of picking something they thought would irritate the other more.Â
Rafe had finally had enough and started skipping Milanâs picks when the High School Musical Soundtrack started playing, eventually coming to pluck her off of her machine to start doing weights as Troy began singing about wanting his own dream.Â
By now theyâd both finished their protein shakes and felt like they had a lot of energy. Well, at least they both did. Until Rafe started making Milan do his workouts.
She was both turned on and enraged as he demonstrates different forms of weightlifting, chuckling at her deeply as she struggles to do another set. âMmkay, okay, thatâs enough, Iâm done with that.â
âNah, you didnât even finish that one, câmon letâs go.â
âRafe, noâ she whines getting off of the bench. Milan immediately gasps as Rafe fists the fabric at the front of her leggings, lifting her off of her feet and physically placing her back onto the equipment.Â
Slapping her thigh, he offers her a no-nonsense look that lets her know that she isnât getting up until she completes this workout to his satisfaction. âBaby, letâs go, stop fuckinâ around.â
Shit. Yes sir. âI wantâŠbreakfast food after this. Like, waffles, and butter and stuff.â
â'Let me come to the gym with you, Rafe. I wanna where my cute little outfit and not workout.'â
âAsshole.â
âWatch your mouth.â
âWaitâŠuntil we start doing my pilates workout. All those muscles will meanâŠnothing.â
âYeah, you like âem?â He smirks, grabbing the weight to ease it down against her before helping her off. âThat your excuse? Canât focus?â
âStopâŠbeing mean, worst date ever.â She whines, leaning her head against his chest.Â
Rafe pats Milanâs ass twice before nudging her into the direction of the next machine. "Best fuckin' date of your life, brat."
âAre you gonna keep staring at my butt or are you gonna try again?â Milan calls over to Rafe.Â
âMy body is not built for that girly shit. You keep goinâ though.â He says. Milan rolls her eyes and continues on the machine, pausing when she sees the reflection of a camera flash in the mirror. âDamn, flash was on.â
âRafe!â
âYou look good, baby. I thought youâd like me to be all sentimental and shit, capture our first date.â
âOh my God. Youâre like, not even working out at this point.â
He shrugs, tilting his head to get a better view of her. âYouâre the one who got an attitude when that girl asked me to spot her and made us change floors.
âShe saw you with me.â Milan hisses through her teeth, pausing her movements. âShe was trying to be funny.âÂ
âThink so?â Rafe scoffs, squirting water into his mouth from the bottle heâd kept in his bag.Â
âYeah, but if you liked the attention you could go back down.â
Rafe wets his bottom lip at that. Being at the gym with Milan has been fun. Turns out, he likes talking to her, which is more than what he could say for the majority of the population. Sheâs sexy, and doesnât mind him being handsy. She seemed to all but expect him to pat her ass in encouragement after she finishes anything. She likes for him to teach her, guide her movements, place her on and off of machines. She likes to whine and have him sort her out. And sheâs possessive. Jealous. Normally the concept of having someone police him sounds emasculating and unacceptable to Rafe. But watching her pretty little face turn into a scowl as she watched girls check him out or come up to him like they always did in the gym? It turned him on bad.Â
She matched his crazy. It didnât matter that it was their first date, the same way Rafeâs lip curled in disgust as he caught the fuckheads wandering the gym eyeing her before he stepped in their line of vision, Milan would physically place herself in front of his view, guiding his eyes to her and away from any girl delusional enough to think they were as bad as her.
But her mouth when sheâs frustrated. That was something Rafe was gonna have to work on. Lucky for the both of them, a stern warning seemed to be enough for now. Rafe stalks over to where sheâs sitting, stepping on the machine behind her and wrapping his hand loosely around her neck, pushing the back of her head to rest on the front of his stomach. Milan looks up at him through her lashes, as he pushes his thumb into her cheek, encouraging her to open her mouth and squirting a little water in from his water bottle. He fixes her with a disapproving look. âChill out. Iâm here, arenât I?â
âYeah.â
âI followed you up here, right?â
âYeah.â she says softly, leaning into his hand.
âAlright then. Letâs not worry about the wrong things.â
After 3 hours at the gym the two of them hit the showers, separately despite both of their hesitation to separate again. They walk out of the building in different clothes and Rafeâs arm strewn over Milanâs shoulder, holding her hand where it came up to meet his own. He has to hide his smirk when he catches her making eye contact with the girl whoâd asked Rafe to spot her as they walked out, a bright smile on her face.Â
He was starting to like this pretty little thing more and more. Rafe lifts her back into the car, this time buckling her seatbelt for her before getting into the driverâs side. He finds that Milan can talkâŠa lot. She has jumped from topic to topic in the 15 minute drive more than Rafe thinks he can in 2 hours. Heâs surprised to find he doesnât find her annoying. Rafe finds his cheeks dimpling as he listens to her yap about her favorite tv shows, a movie she wants him to watch, her plans for her next nails set and thinking about getting highlights in her hair.
All the while she rubs his bicep, leaning into him as he holds her thigh in his large hand. He offers her small mumbles of acknowledgement to let her know heâs still listening. âHm.â âYeah?â âSoundâs good, baby.âÂ
âYouâre not listening to me.â she sighs, looking out the window as they pull into the restaurant. âMâtalkinâ too much.â
âNah, I like that shit. Iâd let you know if Iâd had enough.â Rafe places his hand on the back of her headrest as he backs into the spot. âBut, uh, my headâs always movinâ right? Iâm thinkinâ while I listen.â
Milan watches as he shifts gears and places his truck in the middle of two spots, declaring under his breath he doesnât want anyone âfuckinâ up his truckâ to justify taking up two spots. âSoâŠokay. Whatâre you, like, thinking about? While youâre listening to me.â
âUh, honestly?â He asks. Intense blue eyes rest on soft brown ones. Milan just nods, turning more toward him. âHow fuckinâ hot you are. Pretty fuckinâ distracting.â
âOh.â She says.
âYeah. Oh. Does that throw you off or something, like, oh is a weird response-â
âNo, I was just saying oh, like-â
âOkay, because, Iâm being pretty fuckinâ clear and youâre-â
Milan unclips her seatbelt quickly. Before Rafe can blink her soft lips are pressed against his and before he can kiss her back sheâs back in her seat, pulling down the mirror and fumbling in her purse for her lipgloss. âI wasnât supposed to kiss you until our first date was over. I canât believe I did that. Oh my God.â Rafe chuckles lowly as she fumbles in her purse, dropping it and spilling its contents all over her lap and the floor of the car. âOh my God.â
âDid you, uh,â He pauses, trying not to openly bark out a laugh at her, scratching his head. âDid you only bring lip gloss and perfume? Like, no wallet. At all.â
âOkayâŠâ Milan starts slowly, âI understand that looks bad, and like, people believe in that 50-50 stuff now, and so I shouldnât-â
âBaby, the fuck do I look like? I wouldnât be taking you out if I couldnât afford to, Iâm not a fuckinâ pogue.â
âA what?â
âDonât worry about it. And donât worry about that fuckinâ peck, that wasnât a real kiss.â It shocks her how easy it is for Rafe to scoot his chair back and pull her into his lap. âThis is the shit you should worry about.â
Rafe Cameron pulls Milan Cabot into the nastiest kiss that either of them had ever fantasized about, let alone experienced. He holds her jaw, working his own open as he pushes his tongue into her mouth, swallowing her whimpers and humming against her. He separates their mouths briefly to kiss down her neck only to drag back up to her lips, chuckling darkly when she sucks his bottom lip into her mouth, gripping her thigh with his free hand as he drools into her open mouth.Â
When he pulls away for the final time he rests his head back on the headrest, pushing his thumb into her mouth and releasing a breath as he watches her obediently suck on it.Â
By the time they step out of the car to head into the nice breakfast restaurant heâd brought her to, Rafe had willed hisâŠfriend to go down, and they had undone the damage heâd done to Milanâs makeup and hair. As he guided her in by the waist, tugging down the hem of her pretty little dress to cover the ass heâd just been gripping he felt a feeling of superiority. The woman next to him was relying on him and him alone to lead her around. All the loser fuckers they passed on the way to their table could stare all they wanted. They could take a mental picture and store it away in their sick little spank banks for later until they came to the realization theyâd never get a girl like Milan and finally blew their fucking brains out. But she was here with Rafe. And thatâs how he expected it to be from here on out.
Heâd decided. She was gonna be his.
#oc#love#obx#outerbanks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x reader#romance#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#rafe x oc#rafe cameron x oc#milan cabot#what are you willing to do?
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I would like to call out and formally ask miss @shittyzinkoo to stop tracing other peoples art. And not just for a certain amount of time. Stop it for good.
What am I talking about, you may ask?
Well a few months ago i have found her youtube account because of her kinitopet animations. It was all fine untill I looked into her community posts, where she has been tracing the following artists:
@sin-simps (on tumblr)
Original:______________________________________
Traced/copied:_________________________________
//Note: These have been deleted since, because Sin-Simps talked to her about it(as long as I know). Although this doesn't change the fact it's happened.//
@Scarletwaltz (on tik tok)
Original:______________________________________
Traced/copied:_________________________________
//Note: It's still up on her youtube account.//
@nutcoffin (me on tumblr)
Original:______________________________________
Traced/copied:_________________________________
//Note: The only reason I added the second picture, is because of the same KinitopetAU name that I have. I give the benefite of the doubt though, that its a coincidence. At least I hope so.//
In my case, the one that was on pinterest has been also deleted for my request since:
//Note: She answered that she already deleted it a long time ago, I just couldn't screenshot properly the chat so her answer can be seen//
To be honest it's already a scumy thing to trace a drawing that was made for someone as an answer for a submission-
BUT AFTER A MONTH SHE UPLOADED IT AGAIN
At least I believe so, because I was browsing on pinterest a few days ago and I have found it again without searching for her account or opening a link for the post. The only difference was that the comments were locked so I couldn't wrote that "Hey, this is traced!" in there as I did before.
I have to say I wasn't so nice the second time -
//Note: After a few minutes of my response, this also have been deleted.//
And I would like to apologise for this. I wrote to you in anger and because of that I was rude, but you have to understand that it's not okay to steal other peoples art. Tracing is stealing. Even if it's just a stupid little doodle. You can draw just fine without it, believe me.
For the end I would like to inform you that from now on every time you repeat this with anyone's drawing, your work will be reported. Doesn't matter what platform do you use or if you block this account of mine.
Thank you for reading.
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@lamentationsofalonelypotato
Omg yay!! I'm so excited to dive into your thoughts on Part 2. As you saw, it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. đ
Alright it is devastating right off the bat and I know, I know I should be worried about her and I am. I am SO worried, but my mind completely went somewhere else when Dean PICKED HER UP. The man is so strong and I am just...
LOL girl I don't blame you for being distracted. The mental image of Dean manhandling in Protective Mode does things to me too. đ€Ł
I was prepared for this coming but dang... "I hope you've learned your damn lesson" is a line that breaks my heart more than I should. It cuts to the quick for me, because to me it's worse than just saying "I told you not to do something." It's not heartless, but it's enough of a rendition of it that it just makes you go "oh wow."
I love this observation. That's exactly what I felt inherently when I was writing that line. It felt more powerful to me than "I told you so" or the like. It has the feeling of that, but with more of an edge, even though you know he cares about her.
I was literally screaming. It's like he wants her to kill him. I know that Dean loves her so much but oh my goodness it's about to get so real for him. Man is about to be torn to shreds.
LMAO I remember someone saw the preview of Part 2 and commented, "the quiet, but devastating anger he'd be reckoned with if he said that to me." And I was like, YEP, that's exactly it. Mans playing with his life. đ
đ
đ
You just wanna go:
Even though she's upset, Dean is still her best friend and the man she loves and even though he's the one that made her feel this way, she still wants to be comforted by his presence. I always think that, this particular thing is so bittersweet to read about in relationships. Or at least that's how I took this bit đ
.
That's precisely how I intended it! Now looking back, I feel like I should have had her leave him by himself in his room to sleep in another room. But at the time I was writing, I was thinking that for her in particular, despite this being the biggest fight they've had so far in their relationship, he's still the one that makes her feel safe after a bad hunt. đ
Side note: I am happy that the reader didn't have to tell the woman about her son. That would have broken me to read that especially after the reader promised that they would find her son in part one.
Oh my God, yeah. I considered having her be the one to face her "mistake" and talk to the mother, but I felt that having Sam take that on would be better, even as it added to the reader's guilt (and it would keep the story moving).
Oh my word. I love you friend, but WHY!? Dang it, this pricked at my heart. It's so good, so heart wrenching. I feel so bad for him, but it really just reinforces why he "lost it" with the reader earlier. Goodness the trope of the reader getting yelled at by someone who loves them about putting themselves in danger really is just such a good one for Dean and you do it so well.
Lmaooo I knowww, I'm sorry! All the angsty feels in this one. đ Now you see the full weight of why Dean popped off the way he did. He just feels things so deeply, it comes out sometimes in anger, when at the root of it all, it's fear.
Thank you though for that compliment! I think this is the only time I've written that Dean trope. Because I honestly think it's overused, but I tried to do it in a way that made sense for the ultimate growth of their relationship and who Dean is.
His apology is really just pricking at my heart. It's so good, so forthcoming so honest. And the thought that he was "better off alone" is so on brand for him. I know that we've talked about that before, but it really does fit him, and I love how you weave it into this fic.
Aww thank you! đđ Weirdly enough, that was one of my favorite parts to write? Maybe I just like the heartfelt hurt/comfort breaking into fluff moments. The "better off alone" thing I thought was implied throughout the later seasons of the show after Dean lets go of Lisa and Ben, so I wanted to explore that deeper here, even though it hurt my heart to write it. đ
She's crying... I'm crying. It's really just tears all around and such a good moment. Also the him saying "You don't have to cry for that"... YES SHE DOES.
Everyone's crying!! đ YES ABSOLUTELY SHE DOES -- and she's a verified crier. I see a lot of fics where the reader is tough as nails, "doesn't cry very often," but I wanted to create a reader character who is a badass, but still has a soft heart. (Latinas also can be very emotional, but not to say we're adhering to stereotypes around here LOL. đ€Łđ€Ł)
This is just overall a really wonderful vulnerable moment that you've captured that feels real for both the reader and Dean. Especially when she talks about "working with my heart, not my head." I think that if it were me, I would also be "working with my heart." I don't think that I'd be able to take myself emotionally out of the situation that they're in all the time because they're hunters.
Thank you so much!! đđœđ„čđ„č Yeah same, and it's definitely a contrast with Dean, who obviously cares about helping people and takes way too much responsibility on his shoulders, but he's been doing this so long and seen so much that he's learned to compartmentalize a bit more.
Hoping for some FORESHADOWING đđ»đ
Oh girl yesss! If you make it to the last two stories in the series, remember this moment. đđ
Also the salsa lesson is just so cute. And the way you took a really emotional moment to a cute salsa dance to a steamy session to a giggly awkward moment is great. The transitions make it seamless. And the song choices were perfect! When the reader was describing what the song meant I was like, "oh yeah, that's him right there. There's the man officer." lmao đ€Ł
Ahaha thank you so much!! I LOVE me some salsa music, and it was a fun challenge to try and transition between these scenes. From one writer to another, I always appreciate those "technical" observations. đđđ
Oh big YEP!! "Devorame Otra Ves" was the first song I thought of when the salsa idea came. Dean, in fact, is that guy. đ€Łđ€Ł
I was again so emotional reading this, because oh my word, poor Dean just reliving the moments where the reader almost died.
Sorry for jerking the angsty chain again there! đ€Ł Poor guy, he went through an ordeal just as much as she did.
And also the final scene đđ¶ïž I should have known from the gif at the beginning tbh lol.
LMAO Oh yeah, the gif was a dead giveaway for what was coming later on. đ And thank you for shouting out the âWhat, now youâre shy?â line! It's a special kind of intimate, I thought, for her to be kind of embarrassed about what she's just done, but Dean like, "uh-uh, you're not getting away that easily." đđ
Also I love you for using a Chicago Fire gif!! loll Was a big fan of that show back in the day.
Not to mention that the sex was also giggly towards the end and I really just love that. And the love confessions KNOCKED ME OUT.
Awww thank you! I love me some fun giggly romantic smut. đ
Fun fact on her confession! When she says I love you twice, she's actually saying it in two different ways:
I love you, youâd said. I love you ("te amo," you're my love) and I love you ("te quiero," you're my family), more than you can believe and understand.
Oh I'm riding a train of emotions, and all of this was so good. Especially Sam walking in on them. I was laughing so hard at Dean's reaction:
Lol but seriously, I really appreciate that, thank you!! This story was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. I'm so glad you enjoyed it though!! đ ...And Sam's little mishap LOL. Dean has very little shame -- something he's going to prove later on again in the series. đ
It's all wonderful my friend! And I can't wait to read another fic from this universe! đ
Thank you SO very much!! Honestly you don't know how happy it makes me that you're enjoying this series so far -- and spoiling me with such lovely and thoughtful feedback. đ„°đđ
Devour Me - Part 2
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized/Latina!ReaderÂ
Summary: When you and Dean start to press each otherâs buttons, both of your tempers ignite. To make up for it, you give him an impromptu salsa dancing lessonâŠone he didnât exactly ask for. (18+)
AN:Â Here's Part 2! **Read Devour Me: Part 1
Song Inspo: âYo No Se Mañanaâ by Luis Enrique. But really itâs âVen DevĂłrame Otra Vesâ by Lalo Rodriguez. (Youâll see why.) đ€
Word Count: 5,400
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Blood, character death and violence, smutty smut, angst, Dominican slang, and tons of sexy fluff.
â Midnight Espresso Masterlist
Part 2: "Telenovela Style"
Your resulting scream of agony is as unforgiving as the ground when your knees buckle, hitting the hard cement.
Andy grips you with the strength of a monster.Â
Then he holds you down as he drinks your blood.Â
No matter how you struggle and whimper, you canât push him off, and youâre getting weaker by the second.
Until Andy is ripped away from your neck, and is taken care of the way all vampires must be. He doesnât even feel the blade coming.Â
When youâre able to look up, Dean stands above you with thinly veiled fury. He doesnât have time to consider what heâs just done.Â
He bends to gather you up into his arms, all the while trying to stamp down the panic clenching his heart. He calls your name, but you can only make weak sounds as your bleary eyes meet his.Â
âDean,â you manage. The ragged wound in your neck is bleeding profusely down your chest and shoulder, seeping into your shirt. He takes your hand and clamps it hard against your neck, even though it makes you whimper.
âGotta stop the bleeding,â he says, apologetic but firm. âKeep pressing.â
In your stupor of pain, you donât realize that your screech woke the entire nest. Dean has to lock up his worry; he looks up and finds his brother and Cas already fighting a hoard of angry vampires.Â
Dean carries you over to them and lays you down against the wall with the other humans. He keeps a protective line in front of you, but he decapitates a vampire before she can sink her fangs into Sam next.
The two of them work together, and with Castielâs smiting power behind them, the angel and the two men are able to clear the rest of the nest.Â
By the end, only you and two of the women being held captive are still alive. The third girlâs heart just finally gave out. Sam takes the survivors to the nearest hospital.Â
Meanwhile, Castiel approaches where you sit up against the inside of the barn, barely awake, while Dean kneels with you, holding you to his chest. He meetâs Casâs blue-eyed request with a nod. So Cas stretches out a hand and touches two fingers to your forehead.Â
Youâre healed in an instant. Dean marvels, like he always does when Cas displays his power. Dean is able to breathe a little easier, the vice grip on his heart easing as he touches your neck.
The tan skin is once again smooth, if still stained with blood. You blink back into wakeful consciousness.Â
He shifts so he can see your face. âYou okay?âÂ
You meet his eyes but can only nod. His jaw is still tight and tense, and you canât blame him.Â
You know youâve messed up. Big time. You nearly got everyone killed, including yourselfâŠand now, you have to tell a mother that her son is dead.Â
Dean helps you up, holding you by your arms and waist until youâre steady on your feet. You have a hard time meeting his eyes, but when open your mouth to apologize, he beats you to it.Â
âI hope youâve learned your damn lesson,â he says.Â
Your gaze snaps up to his. âExcuse me?â
Deanâs hands go to his hips as his brows raise at you.Â
âNext time, when I tell you to hang back, I mean that shit. Hang the hell back,â he all but growls.Â
You tilt your head at him as your irritation begins to spark. Meanwhile, Castiel is the one who backs up as he glances between you and Dean uncertainly.
âI made a mistake, but that doesnât give you the right to tell me what to do,â you shoot back. âI was a hunter long before I met you.âÂ
âYeah, well, color me surprised that youâve made it this long,â he snaps.Â
Your temper flares hotter. âYou know, youâre not so goddamn perfect either.âÂ
âNever said I was,â Dean says. âBut when my gut tells me something ainât right, I need you to fucking listen. Otherwise, we get a day like today.â
His words are edged with grit by the end of his little rant, and you donât appreciate it. Your lips purse in anger.
âI donât care what that legendary gut tells you,â you sass back. âIâm not a little girl, and youâre not my damn father!â
Dean raises incredulous brows at the way youâre shouting at him. He crosses his arms.Â
âWhatâs this, some kind of Latina temper?â he asks snidely.Â
You truly become incensed at that.Â
âOh, you want to take it there?â you ask, as your eyes narrow. âQue sin vergĂŒenza tĂș eres. Sigue jodiendo conmigo, coño. Entonces tĂș vas a ver quien soy yo.â
Dean wonât admit it, but in that moment, heâs a bit intimidated by the quiet threat in your voice. Still, his fuse is lit, and heâs way beyond curbing his internal filter.
âOh, Iâm sorry, does this telenovela-style tongue lashing come with subtitles?â he snarks.Â
You let out an incredulous breath. Your eyes begin to sting.
âYouâre such an asshole!â you shout back. There, understand that?
You turn away from him before your frustrated tears can fall, but you stop short once you notice Castiel dragging out the bodies of the deadâŠincluding Andy. Your throat constricts, and you begin to stalk out of the barn.Â
Dean calls your name in frustration.Â
âWhat?â you hiss.Â
The only thing that makes him hesitate is seeing the state of you when you turn back around. His anger crumbles, and maybe something in him breaks when he sees your tears. Theyâve welled up in your eyes, and a few of them carve a path down your cheeks.Â
Youâre still covered in your own blood, and he hates it. He hates it more than anything.Â
Later, you see the state of yourself when Sam returns with the Impala. In the reflection on the backseat window, you see the blood dried down your neck, staining nearly half of your shirt.
You see the black rings of your mascara and eyeliner around your eyes. You look a mess, and you try to wipe underneath your eyes. Itâs a fruitless effort.
After you all finish burning the bodies, Dean starts the long drive home. You insist on stopping to tell Rachel Campbell about her son, but Sam says he already took care of it when he drove into town.Â
You frown, but you no longer have the energy to be angry. You further withdraw into yourself, and your lower lip trembles as you look out the window. Through the rearview mirror, Dean sees more tears slipping down your face.
What Sam told him (but he wonât tell you), is what one of the survivors said. One of the mated pairs had taken AndyâŠto âadoptâ a son of their own.Â
That night is quiet and tense in Deanâs room. You have to wash your hair all over again, and scrub the blood and grime from your body until only your skin remains. But you donât have the energy to do more than braid your wet hair afterwards and pull on your lucky Journey shirt, which is still full of holes.Â
Dean knows that itâs bad when you need the âdreamcatcher,â as heâs called it in his head. Youâve never had a nightmare while wearing that shirt, or so you claimed a while back.Â
You wear it over some long pajama pants instead of your usual shorts, or better yet, nothing at all. But he can see what kind of mood youâre in. Things are unsettled as you both get ready for bed in silence.Â
He notes the way you turn to face the other side in bed, maybe to avoid him. Though if you really wanted to do that, you couldâve gone to your old room.
So in more ways than one, Dean takes some solace in the fact that youâre still next to him. And he decides to give you some time and space.Â
He goes to bed and tries in vain to sleep.
In the morning, Deanâs woken by the familiar smell of coffeeâŠand the less familiar sound of loud salsa music.Â
What the fuck?
After he brushes his teeth, he puts on his robe and slippers and heads down to the kitchen, where he finds you in a seemingly better mood. Youâre mopping the floor, of all things. Youâre out of your pajamas, instead wearing a loose shirt that falls off your shoulder and some spandex shorts.Â
âYo no se mañanaâŠyo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo,â you sing softly along with the music as you dance from the kitchen to the living room. Your phone is connected to a Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table.Â
Dean starts to smile, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorway to watch you.
At an instrumental break with a run of conga drums and trumpets, you pause in your mopping to do a little twirl as you dance, with a soulful roll of hips and a flair of salsa steps. It makes Deanâs smile kick up into a smirk.
He walks in on purposefully light feet until heâs sidled up behind you in the living room.
âNice moves, Shakira,â he quips.Â
It startles a shriek of surprise out of you as you whirl around. Deanâs smile hikes up into a grin, but it soon fades when he remembers the way your scream rang through his ears last night. The way his heart dropped into his stomach, and his head swiveled at the sound. And he saw you go down hard.Â
Then the rest of it tumbles through his mindâwhat he had to do afterwards in order to save you. How heâd did it without really thinking, his panic and determination blocking out almost everything else when heâd grabbed the kid. The monster, he forcibly reminds himself.Â
âYou trying to give me a heart attack?â you ask with a hand on your heart.Â
Dean forces himself to smile a little. âSorry. But might I remind you, not everyone hereâs an early bird.â
You give him a wry look.
âYouâre the only one around here who sleeps past 10 a.m. Cas dipped out a while ago, and Samâs on a run.âÂ
But you graciously grab your phone to lower the music to a more bearable level. Dean doesnât yet know this about you, but thisâlistening to music, dancing, cleaningâitâs all your way of copingâŠand releasing as much of your pain, terror, and regret from yesterday as possible.Â
You then look up at him more guarded. The two of you exchanged a lot of unsavory words last night. In fact, it may just be the worst fight you two have ever had in almost three years of knowing one another. Â
Dean senses the shift in you, and his amusement fades. He just can't let things stay like this. He won't.
He hazards drawing closer and touching your arm.
âLookâŠIâm sorry for snapping at you yesterday. I know I was being a dick,â he says. âYouâve just gotta understand something.â
You wait for him to continue with furrowed brows, sensing that whatever heâs about to say is hard for him.Â
âThereâs a reason I donât do this. The uh, relationship thing,â Dean continues, clearing his throat. His thumb swipes along your arm. âItâs not just this job. Itâs my fucked up life. I tried to warn you beforeââÂ
âDean,â you say with a sigh, but he raises his hand.Â
âPlease, justâŠlet me say it,â he says. âYou know the spiel. But things can change on a dime. Even on a damn milk run, like a dusty nest of vamps.â
You know that. You know you couldâve died yesterday, and he doesnât need to remind you of that fact. Before you can start to get petulant again though, Dean continues. His jaw is working, like this next part is more difficult for him to admit.
âTrust me when I say, us being together is dangerous, for both of us,â he says. âFor a while I, uhâŠI started to think Sam and I were better off alone.â
That casts you into dismay. Because you know Dean isnât lying. Heâs really contemplated spending the rest of his life devoid of love, so he wonât have to lose it.Â
Dangerous, for both of us.
You realize then what Deanâs really saying. Heâs afraidâŠafraid to lose you. You see it in his furrowed brows, the downturn of his lips, and whatever pain heâs trying to hide in the depths of his eyes.Â
And just like that, the water works start. You canât quite keep your tears at bay as you hold onto his shirt. He lets out a resigned sigh as he holds you by your arms.Â
âYou donât have to cry for that,â he says, a bit teasing.Â
âHave you met me?â you sniff. But you manage to look up at him with your glassy eyes. âIâm sorry too. God, Iâm so sorry, Dean.âÂ
Your fist clenches in his shirt when you remember Andy, latched onto your neck, and how Dean had to save you. You know heâs remembering it too when his brows furrow, and his gaze falls away. You reach a hand for his cheek.
âI know I fucked up,â you admit. âI was working with my heart, not my head. I justâŠâ
You wanted so badly to help that kid and his mother. You also know that Dean understands; you see it in his eyes. He holds your hand to his cheek and brushes his thumb across the back of your hand.
âI know,â he says. âI really am sorry, baby.âÂ
The problem is, you didnât just see your own mother in Rachel. She hadnât been much older than you. And when you imagine a life beyond hunting, more than anything (no matter how much you shove down the idea), you really do want a family of your own someday.Â
Itâs justâŠdays like yesterday remind you why that could be a very bad idea.Â
More of your tears bubble over, and you head willingly into Deanâs arms. âMe tooâŠâ
He holds you tighter than ever. His hands rub down your back, tangle in your hair, and he drops his lips onto your hair. You sniffle, wiping your face dry in his shirt. And for a while, the two of you have peace in the relative quiet.Â
Music still plays from the speaker though. And when another salsa song starts to play on your playlist, you start swaying. A smile works its way onto Deanâs face.Â
âYou canât help yourself, can you?â he teases.
You smile into his chest. âWe should go dancing sometime.â
Dean just laughs. âOooh, no.â
âOh, yes,â you reply, batting your lashes up at him. You slip a hand on his shoulder and into one of his hands. Heâs forced to hold you as if the two of you were about to start Fred Astair-ing across the living room.Â
âHave you ever danced before?â you ask. âLike real dancing.âÂ
âNot salsa, Iâll tell you that,â he quips.Â
âThatâs okay. Iâll teach you,â you reply with a coquettish smile. âItâs just a few simple moves.â
Dean gives you a wan look. âYou made it look anything but simple.â
You blush at that, but you meet him with a pout of disappointment. You donât let up, even when Dean frowns. He huffs at you in resistance.
âNo,â he insists. You just brush a gentle thumb along his neck, biting your lip in askance. Â
But the longer he stares at your beautiful, hopeful eyes, the more cracks form in his resolve.Â
Eventually, Dean breaks with a sigh, and a shake of his head.Â
âYouâre too much, you know that?â he mutters.
Itâs then that you know youâve won.
So with a happy squeal of excitement, you clap your hands and move to stand next to him so you can show him the basic steps of salsa dancing.Â
You make him take off his robe and slippers, leaving in his shirt and plaid pajama pants. Then you instruct him for a few minutes, correcting his footing and getting him to move on a beat. Youâre pleasantly surprised that he has some rhythm. Â
Dean sighs once again. How the hell did we get here? Heat crawls up the back of his neck as embarrassment starts to set in.Â
âThis is fucking ridiculous,â he grumbles.
âYouâre doing good,â you encourage, with a growing smile. âNow come on, feel the beat in threes. One, two, three. One, two, threeâŠâ
Once he sort of has the basic steps and turns down, you move to stand in front of him. There you show him how to hold you, how heâll move forward, and youâll move back. It takes a little while, but you slowly move through the combinations, then do a little twirl underneath his hand.Â
When he pulls you back in without faltering, you give him a beaming smile. âVery good!â
A subtle grin raises his lips at your enthusiasm. He also feels his face heating up at the praise.
But you pause when a certain song filters through the speakers. Itâs an old one (and it never fails to make you blush), but you love it. Â
âOoh, yes,â you exclaim with delight, and you turn up the volume.
âWhatâs this one?â Dean asks.
âVen DevĂłrame Otra Ves,â you inform him. Not that he knows what that means. You sing along a bit with the first couple of verses while you encourage Dean to lead you in the dance.Â
This song is just slow enough for him to attempt it, and the funny thing is, he doesnât feel all that uncomfortable with the steps now. Heâs starting to get a feel for how to move, both with his feet, and with his hands as he guides you by your waist, holding your hand close to his chest. Still, Deanâs also curious about the lyrics youâre singing.Â
âWhat does it mean?â he asks.
You huff in amusement. âYou sure you want to know?â
Dean raises a brow. âWell, now I gotta know.âÂ
You giggle at that, though you correct his steps when he leads with the wrong foot.Â
âOkay. Itâs about a guy whoâs pretty much a player,â you say with a smirk. âHis bed has been a revolving door of hot ass, but he keeps thinking about this one woman who used to have him turned inside outâŠâ
Deanâs lips curve at the familiar image youâre conjuring. He manages to turn you under his hand, then pull you back to him in one smooth motion. He looks down at you with a deeper gleam in his eyes. You bite your lip, soothing your hand from his shoulder and down his arm.
As the songâs verses come, you translate for him. And for Dean, your voice in itself is a spell.
âEven in my dreams, he says, I thought I had you devouring me. And I dampened my white sheets remembering you,â you begin. Your words are smooth like black velvet. âIn my bed, no one is like you, who draws my body on every corner, without a piece of skin left over.â
Dean is getting hot under the collar as you push away, dragging your fingertips along his back as you turn around him. When you come back into his line of vision, his attention is attracted to the sway of your hips, clad just in those little spandex shorts. He has to clear his throat a bit.Â
You eventually return to him with a warm hand against his chest.Â
âVen, devĂłrame otra ves. It means, come devour me again,â you continue, looking up at him from under your lashes, âCome punish me more with your desire. Because I kept my love for youâŠbecause my mouth has the taste of your body.âÂ
You smile at the laser focus of his green-eyed gaze. âCome devour me again.â
You push off with another little spin. When you reach for his hand, Dean yanks you back into him, eliciting a gasp. The move disorients you for a moment, but you giggle and hold onto his arms. Your hands glide up to rest on his shoulders.Â
Heâs holding you flush against him, and as you shift a thigh between his legs, you unintentionally graze against his hardening length. You look up at him with a smirk.
âYouâre a littleâŠstiff,â you say, both flirtatious and teasing. âLetâs loosen you up.â
You shake his shoulders out and try to get him to relax. Dean raises a wry brow, because you know damn well whose fault it is that his body is coiled tight. But you place his hands on your hips as you move back into the dance.Â
âFeel what Iâm doing there?â you ask. He looks down on you with growing heat.
âIf I could do that, we wouldnât be together,â he rumbles.Â
You try to stifle a laugh as he pulls you in close again, just swaying for a bit. Soon enough, you grin knowingly when his hands start to slide lower on your ass. His head bows to yours, ready to meet you with a kiss.Â
You stop him with your finger on his lips.
âQuestion: do you consider yourself more of a tits or ass man?â you ask him. Youâre half teasing, but still curious. Dean snorts at the question.Â
âMore of a connoisseur,â he replies, smirking.Â
âAh.â You nod sagely, and you point between him and yourself. âSo this is like a âsample the menuâ situation.â
Deanâs smirk deepens. âSweetheart, youâre a goddamn buffet.â
You splutter laughingâŠand thatâs when he finally pounces. He claims your lips with greedy passion. His hand winds into your hair, gripping tight and ruining whatâs left of your loose ponytail. The strands coil around his hand in messy curls while he also gets a healthy grip of your ass through your thin shorts.Â
You smile into his lips, even as you acquiesce to him guiding your head to the side, so he can slip his tongue against yours. You grip his arms more for stability while he manhandles you, kneading soft flesh and making pleasant tingles run up your spine.Â
After a little while, his mouth burns a hot path away from yours. He noses down your neck, skimming his lips across your skin. It sets your nerve endings on fire and gets you breathing more shallowly in his ear. You cling to the back of his shirt, holding him close.Â
Often heâs one to leave love bites of varying degrees, wherever he sees fit. But for a moment he stops at the crook of your neck, just pressing a lingering kiss.
He lets out a deep breath, and you realize heâs probably thinking about where you were bitten. The wound is gone, but it doesnât change whatâs imprinted in both of your minds. Â
A softer smile grows on your face. You trail your fingers up into his hair, massaging the back of his neck.Â
âIâm okay,â you remind him. Dean hums deep in agreement. You know, however, that heâs still thinking far too much.
So you slide your hands down, slow between the dips and planes of muscle in his back, and rest at his hips. Your thumbs delve under the hem of his shirt and tease the skin there.Â
And you start slow, pressing wet, nipping kisses of your own to his neck while you inch his shirt up. You feel his smile on your neck. His grip on your hip flares to life. Still, he lets you tug his shirt up and over his head. Your loose shirt comes next, revealing the same black satin and lace bra you wore the first time he ever got you topless in his arms.Â
A fan favorite. Dean grins. He reaches around to go for the clasp, but your firm push on his chest takes him by surprise.
He falls back onto the couch with a grunt, looking up at you then with raised brows. Youâve got a mischievous little smirk on your face that heats his blood and makes his cock twitch.
You take out the rest of your falling ponytail, shaking your hair out wild. Then you let your hands drift down your neck, over your clothed breasts, and finally to your little shorts.
Dean rubs his palms down his thighs and watches. A smirk forms across his lips as you slide the fabric down the curve of your hips. It leaves you in a red thong, familiar to him by the little tear it has on the front. (Again, his fault.)
You climb aboard his strong thighs to straddle his lap, using his shoulders as leverage as you sink down. You make sure to rub yourself teasingly against his clothed erection. He groans in appreciation. His hands fly to your soft, thick thighs and squeeze.Â
âAw, I like this,â Dean says, half on another moan as you grind down a bit harder on him.Â
âYeah?â you tease. You take his face in your hands and capture his lips with your own. Your tongue invades his mouth, and he welcomes you with a deep hum. Itâs slow and hot at first, but Dean feels the loss of you when you break from his lips.
Instead, you treat him with the same trail of kisses he gave you, along the curve of his jaw and down his neck. But you donât stop there.
Your hands move over his chest with purpose, tweaking over each hard nipple while your mouth burns a wet line down and down his sternum. Dean groans at your ministrations, but lets you leave his lap to slide down to the ground, between his thighs.Â
âWhatâre you up to, baby?â he asks, despite having a very good idea of it. He catches the playful, yet determined gleam in your eye.Â
You pause, briefly leaning back up to give him a heated kiss. You part from him with a grin.Â
âIsnât it obvious?â you ask. âIâm gonna devour you.â
Dean stares hard at you as goosebumps break out across his forearms.Â
Oh, fuck yeah.Â
A giggle bubbles in your throat at the expression on his face. But you continue, taking his pants down his legs first, before his boxer briefs.Â
Deanâs body tenses in anticipation. Youâve gone down on him before, but somehow itâs different this time. He feels like every single one of his nerve endings stands at attention along with his dick. And youâre taking your sweet time working him up.Â
Even when his cock is finally free, you sooth your hands down his legs first, maybe teasing him a bit as you drag your nails down his inner thighs. Dean makes a strained sound, though he tries to hide it by clearing his throat.
Your gaze flicks up to his with a little smile. Heâs holding the back of the couch; his fingers are digging into the old cushion in effort to keep still for you. But his eyes stare into yours like a man starving. You know what youâre in for after you have your way with him, but for now, heâs quite literally under your control.Â
So you take him in your hands first. Dean groans as you tease him with light touches, soft movements, your thumb slowly circling over the sensitive, weeping head of his cock. It's torturous enough to make him drop his head back against the couch, closing his eyes tight.
And suddenly, he blinks them open again.
âShit,â he utters, when you finally take him into your mouth. Your tongue is soft and wet, your lips move over him steadily, and your hands caress whatever your mouth canât take, even teasing his balls.Â
You work him over relentlessly, until he canât help but spill everything he has to give into your waiting mouth. When you suck off and swallow whatever remains, Deanâs heart stutters like syncopated conga drums.Â
He shudders and struggles for breath afterwards, watching your every movementâfrom wiping your mouth to shooting him that satisfied little smirk.Â
You press one last kiss to the inside of his thigh before you raise from where youâve been kneeling on the hard ground.Â
Dean manages to lean forward and helps you up by your elbows. But then he pulls you back into his lap and kisses you deeply. He doesnât let up until youâre panting with him.
âFuckinâ hell, sweetheart,â he manages to say. His voice is deep and laced with grit.Â
Heâs still panting heavily. You giggle and press your warming face into his neck.Â
âWhat, now youâre shy?â he remarks. And he has to laugh. âCome back here.â
He brings your face back to him with a hand on your cheek. For a second, he just looks at you. His thumb strokes across your full, thoroughly kissed bottom lip. Â
âSay it,â you encourage softly. âWhatever youâre thinking. Right now.â
A smile tugs at his lips. He canât help but oblige you.Â
âYouâre too damn much,â he says again, both gruff and fond. Despite how you drive him up the fucking wall sometimes, he doesn't think it'll ever be enough for him, what he has with you.
Because this is something he'd almost given up on. Didn't think he'd get to have it. And it almost scares him, how much he wants you. How much he...
âI love you,â he says. His thumb traces along the familiar curve of your cheek.
It hasnât been all that long, but he knows. You weaseled your way in without even trying. The least he can do for you is be honest.
Your fingers curl around his wrist, holding his hand in place. You tilt your head at him.
âOh, yeah?â you ask.Â
Dean hesitates, but he nods. âYeah.â
A smile grows across your face. âEh, Iâm still on the fence.â
At his flat look, you laugh and lean in for a kiss. He allows it, a little petulantly. But you make up for it with sweet affection. Your gentle hands stroke down the column of his neck, down his chest. You then lean back so he can see your face.
âYo te amo,â you whisper. âTe amo y te quiero, mĂĄs que tĂș puedes creer y entender.â
Dean smiles. He doesnât understand all of it, but he gets the important bits. He hears it in the tone of your voice. He sees it in your eyes. They shine with emotion, but mainly with love.Â
Dean kisses your hand. He lets go, just so he can slip his hands around you to finally unhook your bra. He tosses it across the room without bothering to see where it lands.
You do though, and you meet him with a slightly narrowed gaze.Â
âAre you making a mess of my clean bunker?â you tease.Â
His lips curve as he kisses you again, while his hands each get a generous handful of your breasts.Â
âAh, hello, ladies." He grins. "Miss me?â
You canât help but laugh. Heâs such a dork sometimes.
But you hum when his thumbs brush over hardened nipples, then drag deliberate circles over them, and pinch just hard enough to make you whimper in pleasure. The sensation zips through you, enhancing the flood between your legs.Â
âI fucking love that sound,â Dean mutters, and licks a hot path in the valley between your breasts. His lips move against your dewy skin when he says, âDo that for me again.â
When he takes a nipple in his mouth and nips a bit hard, you have to oblige him. Your voice rising high is music to his ears. Â
So he goes for your panties next. You help him get them off and return to his lap. With a breathy moan, you revel at the feeling of his fingers probing into your wet heat. Â
However, you and Dean have been too engrossed in one another to notice the door of the bunker unlocking, and heavy steps down the spiral staircase.Â
Itâs Sam whoâs back from his run. Unfortunately, he soon has to shield his eyes upon reaching the living room.Â
âDamn it, Dean!â
You yelp in surprise, but Dean laughs and holds you close to shield you from view. As a bonus, it presses your breasts against his chest.Â
âAll right, Sammy. Go to your room,â he chides playfully (but he means it). âThe adults are havinâ a moment.â
Sam scoffs. âYouâre having a moment on the goddamn couch!â
âSorry,â you say, though itâs muffled in Deanâs neck. Your face is red hot with embarrassment.Â
Sam rolls his eyes heavenward and tries not to see anything else on his way to his room.Â
But Deanâs chuckle reverberates through your chest as his hand goes to your cheek. He encourages you to pull back, so he can see your face again.Â
When he does, he smirks at the scarlet blush dusting your cheeks and neck. You bite your lower lip, but despite your embarrassment, youâre happy.
Your own words replay in your mind when you lean in for another kiss.
I love you, youâd said. I love you and I love you, more than you can believe and understand.Â
AN: Yay! I hope you enjoyed Part 2 of the âMidnight Espressoâ-verse! I loved writing this one so much. I know we're just doing fanfic here, but I genuinely put my heart and soul into this one. â€ïž
Also, here are a couple of Spanish translations:
(Note: other Spanish-speaking countries may interpret certain words differently.)
[During their fight]:Â
âQue sin vergĂŒenza tĂș eres. Sigue jodiendo conmigo, coño. Entonces tĂș vas a ver quien soy yo.â
Translation:
âYouâre shameless. Keep messing with me, damn it. Then youâre going to see who I am (<- This is Dominican slang. It essentially means fuck around and find out what I'm made of.).â
[Song lyrics: âYo No Se Mañanaâ by Luis Enrique]:Â
âYo no se mañanaâŠyo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo.â
Translation:
âI donât know tomorrow. I donât know tomorrow. If weâll be together, if the world will end.â
Keep Reading:
Next in this series is "Chico Malo" ("Bad Boy"):
Summary: You catch Dean red-handedâwith one of his favorite episodes of Casa Erotica.
â¶ïž Next Story: Bad Boy (Chico Malo)
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its been over a month since mizu5 and ppl are STILL calling mizuki a boy, and as a trans person, im frustrated about it.
so, i put together a post detailing why she absolutely IS NOT a boy!!
in this post, im going to address some of the common "arguments" these people present to justify their blatant transphobia.
(cont. under cut)
-
"She's just a femboy!!"
femboys are relatively accepted in japan. if she were simply a femboy, she wouldnt be bullied as much as she is and she would have no reason to worry about her friends accepting her. she also would NOT react that way to simply being outed as a femboy, because like i said, being a femboy isnt a big deal over in japan.
Also, the point of being a femboy is that you are openly identifying as a man whilst dressing femininely. if she was a femboy, she would have no reason to hide the fact that she is "a man."
"She uses boku, thats a male pronoun!!"
almost all japanese pronouns can be gender neutral. this includes boku. while it is traditionally used in a more masculine context, its not uncommon for women to use it on themselves.
in japanese media, this trope is known as bokukko, and its actually pretty common in anime or games like prsk. some well known examples of this trope are Zero Two from Darling in the Franxx, and Furina de Fontaine from Genshin Impact, who are both cisgender woman that use boku.
"Her bullies said she was a boy!!"
yes, because theyre her BULLIES. OF COURSE they would call her a man. theyre TRANSPHOBIC. thats the POINT. if youre seriously considering her bullies as a valid and reliable source for info ab her, then i dont even know what to tell you.
"Sega wouldnt make a queer character bc of jp censorship!!"
sega is VERY openly pro-lgbtq. i wouldnt put it past them to put an openly queer character in prsk. in fact, they already have. of course, the main example other than mizuki would be minori, who is canonically wlw and has a crush on haruka, but there are more characters who can be read as queer-coded as well, such as rui, an, and kohane.
"She never explicitly said she was a girl!!"
she never said she was a boy either!
she doesnt have to look directly at the screen and say in perfect english "i am a trans woman" for her to be a trans woman. it lies in the subtext, the implications, everything about her backstory. everything in mizu5. everything ive listed in this post and more. if you still choose to call her a boy despite everything about her telling you she isnt, then you either severely lack reading comprehension or youre just intentionally transphobic.
-
Thank you so much if you took the time to read through all of this!! i hope this post can be used to help educate at least someone out there, although yall can be really stubborn with your beliefs. if you still believe mizuki is a boy after reading this, i genuinely dont know what to tell you. just please dont comment on this post trying to convince me that shes a man. there is no point. i will not listen. i will simply block you, and i suggest you block me as well.
thats all, thanks again for reading!! âĄ
#beeposting :3#femboy mizuki believers DNI#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#trans#transgender#transfem
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Hey, so as a person who'll be legal next year, I don't know what exactly happened here with minors (I was at school), but regardless I wanted to say sorry that you have to deal with that. You shouldn't have to deal with people who Don't Listen, especially people around my age.
I also wanted you to know that I absolutely love your AU as a whole. The storyline and art genuinely make my brain go in all sorts of good directions, and tbh the art style is inspiring my own a bit.
Hope you're doing well
Just some minors interacting with a clearly labeled "Minors Do not Interact" post in bold and big letters like as if that's not in place there to shield them away from the nsfw. I even hid the damn thing under a cut so that they can walk away from it without being exposed in case of accidental encounters
What's worse was that the minor in question was the first to even interact with it before anyone else and that pisses me off just how easily they ignored the many warning signs in place, all to comment a damn flustered emoji. like flashing a bright neon sign of "DON'T GO INTO THE SCARY DARK HOLE" in their face but they think "eh. I can handle it"
I understand that most teens have the mindset of thinking they're more mature and can handle 18+ content, and no one at that age really realizes how immature that mindset is until they reach the same age as we do because they're all too excited and blinded at the idea of being "adults", doing "adult" things... But still. Come on. Just read the sign and respect it.
I promise you, you will not regret it, and you are not missing out on anything because it's not for you in the first place.
At least you seem cool, right on tho anon, right on
Thanks for being inspired with my art and for liking my silly little story :3 This AU has certainly become bigger than what I had initially in mind but honestly? I love writing and making stuff for it, and I'm very thankful to have an audience that is as enthusiastic to learn about it's world as I am eager to tell it. It's literally a storyteller's dream come true :')
#thanks for the ask!#Ziku's insane rambles#tadc#tadc au#harlequin au#tadc harlequin au#the amazing digital circus#when there is a post called âminors dniâ. And you are a minor. DO NOT INTERACT.#clearly I have to repeat that mantra since no one listens to it unless it's drilled into their skulls#This applies to suggestive content either#as suggestive IMPLIES 18+ content happening. or is making a joke in reference to an 18+ topic#those warnings are there to PROTECT YOU#DON'T IGNORE THEM. You'll get your time to be accepted into these spaces eventually#but for now just literally be on your merry way#it's not that hard I promise
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Rainy Day in Gravity Falls (Stanford X You)
Stanley took the kids out for pizza on a rainy day. While Stanford and you found it the perfect time to enjoy the cabin in silence and with each other's company.
(Based on our dear Swooning Over Stans)
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I read someone saying that they can't find new Ford fanfics anymore and I noticed that too đ So I, who have been in the fandom since it was all in the woods, but have never written about our dear Ford, decided to try.
I apologize for anything, English is not my first language and I'm trying to improve! â âĄ
ă»Warnings: Reader uses feminine pronouns and refers to herself as girl. Body unspecified.
Gravity Falls had a pizza delivery service. And of course, in a storm, it doesn't work.
The girl looked out of the window, watching the drops of water hitting the glass hard. The trees were shaking and the forest seemed much more dangerous now than when gnomes try to kidnap you. - The rain seems to be getting heavier... - She commented, still distracted. - And I don't know if I trust Stan behind the wheel.
Stanford laughed and she turned to see him coming into the living room with a tray containing two cups and a teapot. - I hope he's being at least decent.
She smiled slightly, trying to shake off the shiver that the thought of Stan driving with children in the storm caused. Stanford, on the other hand, seemed calm, even at ease with the situation.
He set the tray down on the coffee table and poured the two cups carefully, already used to his brother. Stan was reckless, he couldn't deny that. But he preferred to believe that his love for children was greater than his love for his own life.
- Not that he had much choice, right? The city's delivery service is practically an urban legend. If I hadn't seen anything yet, I'd believe the gnomes more than this. - He said. In his time as a researcher, Ford had already relied heavily on the local delivery system. And when it didn't work, he spent the night without eating because he refused to leave the hut.
He approached, passing one of the cups to the girl, his fingers brushing against hers for a brief moment, causing an electric current to overcome them, stronger than the lightning outside. - It's chamomile. I bet it'll calm you down.
She took the cup, with a shy smile on her face, feeling the warmth and the soft aroma of the drink, a mixture that seemed appropriate for a stormy night.
- Thank you. - She replied quietly, looking at Ford. - I'm still amazed at how you manage to find these situations funny, even after everything.Stanford shrugged, a glint of familiarity and curiosity in his eyes.
His body stopped behind hers, looking out of the window. His body emanated warmth, and he slipped his arm around her back, resting his hand on her waist..
- And I'm still amazed at how you adapt to every new peculiarity here. - He replied. - Who would have thought that someone from outside would have the courage to face even a storm in the middle of this forest?
She laughed, pulling him closer for warmth, while the light in the living room enveloped them in a cozy and safe atmosphere, even with the chaos outside.
- I guess after having my car hit by a giant sign, I learned that Gravity Falls isn't like the outside. - He joked, his tone humorous, causing Ford to laugh next to his ear, placing a tender kiss on his neck.
- You'll never forgive me for that, will you?
The girl laughed, shaking her head and returning to the subject. - Well... maybe I've just got used to the stranger. - She answered, her eyes wandering to the window. - Or maybe it's because... I feel like I'm with the right person to deal with it.
The last sentence came out more sincerely than she had expected, and she held her breath, realizing the weight of that admission. Stanford was silent for a moment, his gentle eyes resting on her.He then tilted his head, a slight smile on his face, and said:
- In that case, I hope I don't disappoint you.
--
I'm taking requests. Thank you so much for reading and I'm open to constructive criticism on how to make reading sound more fluid and natural in English!
#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines x you#You x Stanford Pines#Gravity Falls#ford pines#stanford x reader#stanford x you#stanford x oc#stanford pines x oc
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Missed Connections
It's my first attempt at anything x reader, but thanks to a few notes from @darktrashsoulbear I think I've gotten it. I hope so at least. Comments are always welcome. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Now to enjoy another Ewan Mitchell x Reader oneshot!
ââââââââââââââââ
It had been a last minute thing, Ewan had fully intended just to hole up in his hotel room for the night and rest with a book he was attempting to read. Heâd read the same page a few times when a friend on the crew called himâinviting him out to a local show. At first, heâd been teetering on no, but had asked what kind of showâsomething metal. Mattâs girlfriend knew the band, had even helped get them sorted out with a small label that wouldnât take them for all they were worth and then some.
What the hell
Heâd thought, heâd go and enjoy the evening. More than anything, he wanted an outletâto do something fun that made his stress melt away. What better way than to go a little mad in the pit?
ââ
No matter the city or even the country, clubs were all the same: strobe lights thumping along with the bass of varying degrees of quality, shouted conversations to and from everyone and no one, the smell of spilled and shake liquor on top of a hundred perfumes and colognes with a base layer of sweat, the clank of ice and glass as overworked bartenders kept up with the ebb and flow of humanity in search of social lubricant.Â
It was sensory hell before trying to get through the crowd and Ewan had been firmly left at their chosen table while he nursed a drink and watched his friends âdanceâ. It had at least started as dancing and now it was a scant step up from grinding. Now he was looking at anything else to avoid an accidental eye fucking heâd never recover from. Everyone was a stranger here and he wasnât prepared for that, not tonight at least.Â
Drink in hand, he headed outside to save some of his hearing and to have a smoke. A nasty habit, sure, but one he had no intention of quittingâŠ
âFuckinâ hell.âÂ
After a thorough pat down of every spare pocket he had, Ewan realized heâd left his pack of smokes god only knew where.Â
âEwan? Itâs Ewan, right?â
A woman had come up to him and for a long moment, he didnât recognize her. Was she a fan orâŠ
âYes⊠Wait, I know youâfrom the flight to Heathrow?â
âI thought this was you! Your hair looks good!â
Heâd been dark blond the last time she saw him, not the bleached blond heâd chosen for the premier of the second season. Heâd run a hand through his hair out of habit, a little smile at receiving a compliment from a pretty girl.Â
And god she was pretty with that big smile of hers. She looked intimidating, but that could just be the nerves⊠Oh god, but that smile⊠fuck, she could light up all of London.Â
A hug was offered and accepted, theyâd become fast friends on a red eye from New York to London. Yet he hadnât ever expected to see her again when she sprinted away to make a connecting flight to Helsinki. Fate was funny that way, it seemed.Â
Their conversation was about everything and nothing. Sharing a pack of cigarettes he later learned was from Finland. Sheâd come back to London to do press for a new ep. Just like he had just finished his own press tour.Â
Over shared experience, one drink turned into two, then three. His phone buzzed occasionallyâMatt had been an unexpected friend and he was grateful. Tom was an even better friend and both liked to check on him from time to time. Especially Matt in this case. He and his girlfriend had invited him out. The least they could do was check on him.Â
âYou have good friends, they like to check on you. Nice for a night out in a loud club.â
âI do, itâs a gift.â
âAny of them here? I can release you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine. I came with a mate and his girl, theyâre about to call it a night.â
âAnd what about you?â
âHavenât decided yet. The company is good.â
âHmmâŠâ She played with one of the pendants she wore. âI could eat. Wanna get out of here and find some food?â
âYeah, Iâd like that.â
ââ
Which led them to perhaps the seediest kebab shop heâd ever seen, but it was open all night.Â
It was the sort of place Mattâs girlfriend had called âa greasy spoonâ. It fit: the tables were a little sticky, napkins were thin, the plates were almost as thin, but it was the best thing heâd ever eaten. Something about the beer, tobacco, and the company.Â
It would be a warm memory, he knew it already. Knew it when he brought her back to his hotel only for them to both fall asleep at the beginning of some 2000s horror movie.
A perfect surprise.Â
A perfect night.Â
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okay. im going to post again and break my own promise because i also want to address another side of the argument.
people saying how they canât watch part 2 now because luke manipulated the fans and they feel that the magic is ruined.
remember. we are talking about real people here. they are not the fictional characters they play on screen. letâs go over this one by one, i LOVE making numbered lists for arguments:
1. Luke and Nicola provided us with a fabulous tour. They owe us NOTHING.
Itâs US who should be greatfull to them for doing hard work. A long press tour with that amount of promotion must have been absolutely exhausting no matter how much you love your job.
2. Luke isnât obliged to fall in love with Nic and date Nic.
3. Nic isnât obliged to fall in love with Luke and date Luke.
4. MULTIPLE times they addressed the fact that they are good friends. People were giddy making gifs saying âno, ur lyingâ.
Now imagine someone coming up to you and saying âYouâre in love with meâ. You answer âNo iâm notâ. They tell you âNah, youâre lyingâ. Itâs all in good fun until it grows into a straight up disrespectful delusion.
5. The personal life of actors shouldnât affect how you feel about fictional characters. ESPECIALLY if they did not a fucking thing wrong. I wish really creepy and predotary people in the industry got at least half of the shit Luke is going through right now because Luke dared to have a fucking relationship. Or a relationship not with Nic.
6. We should be thankful to Nic and Luke for being kind, professional and respectful. We should be in love with their beautiful friendship, and not push either of them to cater to desires of fans who cannot, will not, do not want to distinguish between show and real fucking life. They have no obligation to you to start dating because their onscreen counterparts did and you liked it.
7. Again, I do not want to speculate. I have no idea if it was their decision or if it was PR. If they were encouraged to hide their relationship during promotion (imagine waiting this fucking long), or if they were encouraged to show that theyâre together right after the show dropped. I do not know AND IT DOES NOT MATTER. Even the idea of restraining your personal life due to PR is sad and makes me sick. I hope theyâre just going with the flow, staying true to themselves and are being HAPPY.
âWas it a wrong PR decision?â does not fucking matter because it should be their fucking decision to begin with. The fact that PR is created for this exact reason - to do damage control when people lose their shit over something normal is bind-boggling. It is insane that we came to this fucking point in human history.
8. The phrase âLukeâs hard launchâ disgusts me. Fans are talking about Antonia like sheâs an object and not a real person. JUST STOP!
9. Try to be fucking kind and touch the fucking grass once in a while. Grass is lovely - take Penelopeâs advice.
Seeing this makes me think that the comments are coming from two groups of people:
1. Toxic stanâs who want Nic with Luke and canât grasp the idea that they are not their characters. âLuke is a lot like Colinâ from interviews does not fucking equal âLuke is in love with Nicâ. Following this delulu logic he should have fallen for Claudia then because they said multiple times that Claudia is a lot like Pen and Nic is a lot like Eloise. There is no fucking connection in these statements. Fucking none.
2. People who loved the idea of Luke being single because it allows them to fantasize about Luke falling in love with them. Itâs okay, weâve all had celebrity crushes, but when it gets to the point of you throwing hate at the person, it becomes creepy and unhealthy.
To all the haters and âsympathizersâ - get some help and get your shit together.
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#polin#luke newton#nicola coughlan#next time i open lukeâs tag i hope to see praise for his acting or singing skills and adoring comments and compliments on how hot he is#iâm about to lose my fucking mind and throw some hands#a week from now and we all will fucking forget this shitstorm even existed#but i doubt that luke or antonia will#i just hope they are not fucking aware of this shit#this is delulu in me talking#at least i hope they are not reading comments
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please accept some Nie parents with their babies
#this family won't leave my brain and i've been feeling the need to draw something like this for so long i can't believe it's finished#i know it's not like super consistent and that at least two of the scenes don't look that great#(i rushed it a little because i have other wips to work on and i wanted to finish this one so bad also there's like 11 people in this)#but anyway i'm happy with it#the nie parents are of course a reference to the designs i posted last year#nie sect#nie parents#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#cql fanart#also i hope people can read my silly comments because i know it's super wobbly
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