#especially sadness lol
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(I really am not)
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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How much of me is me? (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Another one that I cried to while drawing hehe ♪ Hhhhh I love their dynamic so much <3 <3 ;;#Sans' apparent disinterest in hurting Gaster is deeply interesting to me - we see him punch Gaster in Mercyplates even! :0#I can't help but feel that a good portion of it is Papyrus being there with him when Gaster gives them his arm haha#Would he have been as well-behaved if he'd been by himself? I wonder :)#But generally I read it as him having grown up <3 They've both matured so beautifully by that point it's just ah- such a treat to read#Their transition from their childhood to their teens and young adulthood into themselves is just jdlksafhdsfd it's incredibly well written!#I say ''I wonder'' quite a lot lol but that's just speculation - watching them grow into themselves is So Incredibly satisfying <3#It feels so natural to watch them become themselves ♥ It's beautiful ♪♫#And their sibling dynamic is truly unrivaled <3 They support each other! Lift each other up! Where one stumbles the other catches him!#I love them so much ahh#Papyrus' emotional intelligence gets me so bad <3 The sweetest lad#I feel like it would bother Sans that he/they have Gaster's memories and not their own#It makes me especially sad to think about everything he missed of them - if only you hadn't fallen behind on the footage Gaster! >:0#They already have some pretty incredible identity issues just throw being pieces of him in every sense into the mix#They're grown from him and even when they got away and built themselves that still got subplanted with memories that aren't even theirs!#It's a rough spot#Papyrus though ♥ Always knows what to say hehe#Reaffirming that Sans is the most important person to him - that they are to each other - that no matter what they're brothers#And that no matter what - even having Gaster's memories or being without memories at all - that Sans is a good person#That it's not out of self-preservation or trying to do it for Papyrus' sake (even if that is a lot of it haha)#That /Sans/ is the one making that decision of his own volition and his own morals and beliefs#And that he loves and supports him no matter what <3#''I know you can be a good person. You can choose to do the right thing'' and ''I see you being a good person. You're doing the right thing'#Hhhh <3 I love them <3
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Hetalia X Alien Stage
Round 5
#hetalia#aph france#Francis Bonnefoy#aph belarus#aph taiwan#hws#BelaTai#Hetalia x Alien Stage AU#holy shit yall can't you believe i did this in a span of like three days??? The thirst of seeing sociopathic Francis Bonnefoy is like drug#to me#ANYWAY GO WATCH ALIEN STAGE BY VIVINOS AND QMENG IT SO GOOD#this is so fun actually ended up practicing framing and colour for vibes!! i might do more this kind of screen redraw thing#Especially final round#Arthur as Till and Fran as Luka for the absolute Toxic Yaoi#Love Arthur as sad loser puppy heheh#so if ur wondering why i pick Taiwan and Belarus as Mizi and Sua when nyotalia cast def would be better suited for it#i just wanna challenge myself plus Fem Heta character is just too underrated so why not#im imagining the Alien Stage AU as if its a movie/Musical and they're actors lol#kopifuran
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If you could draw Loop annoying Odile that would make me so giddy c:
the sillies....
#SORRY it took like forever for me to answer this ask lol but still thank you for the ask :D#i was hit with the ol' artblock........ sad times#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#isat loop#my art#loop + literally anyone is so entertaining but especially loop + odile so i hope i was able to portray their dynamic well !!!#my asks
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fornax w/ ketenramm's hair. that's it that's the post, thank you for understanding (doesn't allow highlights but pls imagine that they have all of their grey hairs)
#fornax#au roe#sad i usually can't make the base hair color lighter bc their eyebrows will blend in with their skin LOL#it's a nice look especially w/ their new outfit :)
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been thinking abt this and ngl theres something that feels so cruel and unnecessary about the final combat in the cr2 finale.. i just dont fuck with it, despite the sheer drama of it all. the clays home being (partially) destroyed Again after they just got it back is so sad. we didn't need to be shown how cruel ikithon is again, like of all things that specifically didn't need reiterating and i think it was honestly a weak narrative choice from matt. fighting ikithon is whatever, sure, that plot needing some wrapping up. but like, i hate that the clays became collateral in it. and even though they all lived, house fires are devastating. add to that the fact that their house is also their sacred temple and has been where their family has lived since they existed And that they'd spent so much time and effort trying to save it and it rly just feels horrible to me. like, they had their beds and heirlooms and clothes and shrines in there and then theyre all destroyed or covered in ash and water damaged from putting the fire out... caduceus has to spend the next year turning it back to a sacred site again. i dont doubt that ikithon wouldnt give a fuck and would kill an innocent family, he obviously would, its like his fave thing to do apparently but i just think that the clays had suffered enough and they deserved better and deserved safety and shouldve been left alone at that point in the story and i think im a hater abt this plot point now actually
#it never sat right with me but i was thinking abt it this morning so u get to hear my thoughts abt it#especially bc its the last ep they dont rly commit to the weight of what just happened enough imo . like thats devastating#kiddo say#at least cad got to torment ikithon abt it#but even then im sad that took his energy. especially when he was canonically so exhausted and was FINALLY home with his family#also good morning . lol
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Krampus at the dog show when not every single person stops to pet him
#dogblr#petblr#dog#sighthound#borzoi#Krampus#especially kids#he’s so cute#he doesn��t pull or go crazy#he just stands and begs them with his eyes#two like teens young 20s girls lost their shit at him going past so I stopped and told them to pet him pls lol#he thought it was amazing#a junior sat in front of us as we waited for our ring time#and he couldn’t convince her to love him and he was so sad
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me before SoTE: Gehrman 🤝 Miquella on being seen as creeps and awful people by fandom over misinterpreting some bits!
me after SoTE: Gehrman 🤝 Miquella on not being able to accept the drastic change (mostly to the worse) of a person they held dear and latching onto their former, "nicer" version, attempting to resurrect that version even although the result is a bit of just a husk (.....AND being seen as creeps and awful people by fandom over misinterpreting some bits lololol)
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I guess they're doomed to be friends no matter what gfjhjgv At least with Gehrman's crafting skills, he can make him many pretty dresses
#soulsborne#bloodborne#gehrman the first hunter#elden ring#miquella the unalloyed#this trope is so unhealthy yet so sad#it is fascinating to think about though!!#but yeah...... happy end? lol gfjggjh#they're the 'he just doesn't understand!' guy#especially miq because with gehrman he is very justified with the grief of loss#meanwhile with radahn it was basically putting him out of 'misery' because he insisted on becoming Hoarah Loux 2#gfhgfghv awful way to put it I know but this is true#I'd argue that the scale on which demigods think is naturally a bit different from average humans tho#like psychology of the guys that have capacity and intention of shaping the world isnt 100% like us simple gremlins#but still heh#I discovered a thing I love to explore#the 'this isnt real you fuck come back' guy
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Do you guys ever think about how hollow and isolating certain things about Hope’s life must feel? When she was a little girl she was promised to be protected by her dad and treated like a princess and she had this image in her head of growing up and being a powerful witch and doing all of these things. And then she gets older, her parents + family members die/split off, ‘always and forever’ is dead in a way, most of the supernatural community either thought or still thinks she’s a danger to them, and then by Legacies we know that she also is faced with having to become immortal in order to stop something that’s going to kill what few friends she does have. She doesn’t want to be immortal. She’s been kind of an introvert and a loner and for all intents and purposes, her existence has been a huge disappointment. She doesn’t see being a vampire as some cool thing, she sees it as something that will at worst, make her more isolated because everyone thinks she’s a monster like her dad. And then that’s before you dig into what the trauma of Greta and Roman did to her. She was told that who she is is wrong and is going to hurt people. She’s been trying not to live up to all these horrible expectations everyone has of her because one of the things her family (propogated by Elijah and even Klaus when he tried to keep her from falling asleep to the Hollow) seemed to believe is that her existence would somehow fix everything and she would miraculously be a good person. So not only is becoming a vampire scary because she doesn’t want to become the worst version of herself and prove everyone right (therefore also reliving all of this trauma she has from other peoples’ expectations of her) but she also has to be alive forever in this sort of lonely state. She doesn’t have ‘normal’ things to look forward to that normal kids do. She’s been told her entire existence will suck for her and everyone else, actually. We even have the firstborn Mikaelson witch thing that posits she will suffer from the strength and uncontrollable quality of her magic. Idk… it’s just crazy how miserable and depressed she must be sometimes
#I actually just think about how lonely her existence must be#Not just as the only one of her kind but#Put in the role she was#As young as a child#And then she can’t ever live up to it#And she knows she’ll let people down eventually#Especially because she HAS to be a vampire#And Hope isn’t someone who’s extroverted with like a zest for life lol.#So a lot of life’s more fun parts are probably not enough to combat her broody nature atp#I don’t think she particularly makes a ‘good’ vampire#I think she would be angsty and broody and sad and have anger issues#study:hope#hope mikaelson#legacies#tvdu#texts#texts:m
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Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.
#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly#female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE?????#theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri#patalliro#i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen#you blushed - so you must not be a girl#etc#i also love how joyful it all is#theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc#when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing#he awakens to his true power...lol#also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is 18#this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal; not a phase relegated to nostalgic adolescent periods of time#according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995#im NOT going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily#even raise children together in the manga....???#especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended)#yaoi#<- for tagging purposes#obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still!#months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them.#as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually#and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time#even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow#this post is meant to praise patalliro for being unique in its approach to gay content compared to other titles#ive enjoyed plenty of 2000s yaoi titles despite their shortcomings lol#joseiposting#shoujo
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Rainbows (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Papyrus#Sans#This rainbow is all out of order - and so many negative glows ah :0#I didn't mean for them to trend negative! They were just easier to imagine the expressions - maybe I'll take a second pass on the positives#Or in green's case the negative :')#Again in order of when I drew them so kinda all over the place haha#I wanted to go in order! And then I got distracted pft - thus started with red ow :(#Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him!#D'you think that eyeglows could also act like automatic word-responses? Like how we say ''Ow'' when we're surprised but not hurt sometimes#Silly haha#The second is a lot less silly-intended tho more actual pain#It's also sad to think that Sans' red would pretty much have to be sympathy/emotional pain :(#The kind of survivors guilt of not being able to shoulder more but he's so fragile! It's not his fault!#I am quite happy with both of their expressions there tho especially their mouth shapes - and how the colours interact with their eyes#Lineless colours are some of my favourites :) You can tell it's my pencils and not my pen there 'cause it's feathery hehe#For example Edgar's scars are usually with my pen and they have an almost hard-line quality while my pencils are soft :) S'pretty#Switched colours! I unfortunately misremembered what their meanings were oops lol#Well I got them kinda half-right - I like blue as skeptical quite a lot :D I think it suits them both!#Sans as wary and logical and wanting to keep distance to assure his safety and what he can devote energy to - I like it!#And Papyrus using his brother's colour to be grown up in the way that Sans is hehe <3 It's sweet#I misremembered orange lol I assigned blue's alt meaning of ''curiousity'' - orange is meant to be bravery! Oops lol#I think I was thinking of Papyrus' childlike excitement and wanting to know and be involved! Haha#Greeeeens <3 Happy boys happy with each other! I love when they're happy ♥ Interlocked holding hands hehe#Pinks! Along a similar line! I like pink as platonic affection :D And as embarrassment lol but hgg the sweetness! The care and love!#Is my bias showing lol - especially with the bros sleeping on each other haha ♪ They're both happy to know the other is safe!#Couple'a stresses - I like Sans' more I'm not even gonna sugarcoat lol his expression turned out so good haha#And the inverse for the purples! I do like Sans' face but his body :P Papyrus tho - he turned out sad and perfect :')
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People say cottagecore is dead because of tradwives infiltrating the aesthetic... Well, I live under a wet rock among pillbugs, slugs and centipedes so online discourse can't reach me while I'm having fun
#talkies#cottagecore#if terfs and tradwives reblog this I'm going to laugh so hard like I'm sorry king but you would not like me#i just like cottagecore :o) especially with autumn on the way!#i like decorating my room all old-like.. wrapping things in cloth for keepsake.. and enjoying nature outside the cities... while being trans#lol#it's such a basic thing to like I don't think anyone should let themselves feel sad or guilty for liking it#bc transphobic racists like it also... transphobic racists also like dogs man! and fruit loops! dont ever let them take from you whatyoulove#cosy aesthetic#autumn#fall
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now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal
#i think i've pinpointed what annoys me about the treviso vs minrathrous thing#it's not that neve or lucanis get mad at you but that you can't like. fix it. or talk about it.#you get 'punished' for picking one and it feels like it should be Worse#lucanis Especially winds up suffering in content bc of it and he's already hurting with content as it is#but apparently according to m kirby he never stops feeling betrayed which is valid#but why can't we fix it? or confront it? Why can't we have a rival situation? or see the effects of spite bc of it.#bc the Hardened thing is literally Nothing on both of them lmao oh no they wont heal me i guess#this man should be pissed at me and apparently he always was? despite us being friends? sort of? by the end?#like it's not even that Lucanis gets Mad at me (wish he'd show it) it's that this is a bioware game and i should be able to confront this#but no. just a choice where ultimately nothing happens but a map change and you don't get a mission/certain cutscenes#and lucanis or neve will go 'i'm doing this and you don't get a say' like ok that's fine and deserved#i just think spite should've potentially taken over lucanis more in a rival situation bc he's so hurt by the worst year of his life#and spite should be gnawing at the bit because this and the rest of the horrors pisses lucanis off#i also think neve should've tried blood magic for funsies esp if she becomes super determined to protect Dock Town but whateverr#i know these tags are slightly off topic but the point is SPITE SHOULDVE BEEN USED MOREEEE i'm so mad#honestly in my deluded hopes that this was going to be truly Bioware i thought Lucanis was going to have an anders situation#and spite would be more in control even if it's still Lucanis. just more volatile and sad.#and maybe it was going to be difficult but the idea that you could've potentially saved him by proving you were going to be there for him#ughhhh it's so annoying and depressing. I do like veilguard i do but this is the moment my love for it waned a bit#like sorry i think Lucanis/Spite should've turned Illario's head into wine if you didn't save Treviso. I think he should be that messed up#but i also thought this was going to be a thing that was going to happen with more companions lol cries for what should have been#prawn posts#veilguard critical
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– What's keeping us apart ain't even real, your daddy, his religion, it's got nothing to do with us. – It's not just his, it's mine too. I've got the same spirit in me, why don't you see that?
Alice Englert and Walton Goggins in Them That Follow (2019), dir. Dan Madison Savage & Brittany Poulton
#them that follow#them that follow 2019#alice englert#film stills#walton goggins#film frames#film lovers#screencaps#cinephile#i'm still so salty about this film i needed to make an edit out of it lol#shitty things i do for love#they really tricked me into thinking it's gonna be 'the ballad of jack and rose' but make it *more* cultish american gothic#but in fact it's just a boring mediocre piece of nothing#you CAN'T you're not ALLOWED to cast my favorite people to play fatherhusband daughterwife cult leaders#and then chicken out at the last minute because you're not bold enough to sink your teeth into thought provoking topics#it's just ... sad and wrong and sad#it could have been it SHOULD HAVE BEEN such a poetic tragic metaphor for a child x parent indispensable separation#especially considering an absence of a mother and how the main character feels proud to take her place as the lady of the house#that is obvioisly delicious and semi unhinged but at the same time absolutely expected#because of her religious beliefs and her dad's behaviour????#or they could have gone with the dark fairy tale elements and make it 'the marsh king's daughter' au or whatever#'freedom! sunshine! to the father! i remembered my own father in the sunlit land of my home! my life and my love!' you know#BUT NO. what a waste of walton goggins and alice englert brilliance#fathers and daughters man fathers and daughters#a love of the rack and the screw and i said i do i do#the rejects the eccentrics the loners the lost and forgotten cinema club
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something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."
like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...
#like it's sad both on the front of 'dehumanizing my real life'#but also on the front of 'you deserve to have healthy communication in your life'#like if you think this is unrealistic it means more than likely you havent experienced someone being patient and understanding with you#and that makes me very very sad#I'm sorry#also it's just rude to tell me my writing is unrealistic LOL like hey#real people talk all kinds of ways. shut up#I've been told it's also in part cause they always understand their own feelings when theyre talking#but I'm like...#theyre like mid 30-early 40 and theyre immortal and theyre going through a lot of shit#I feel like theyve thought about it a lot#also the comic takes place over the course of a year so far#we're seeing the big moments and the fun mysteries#so#its about grown men who love eachother#sorry that they think about what they want to say before they say it#also as if adam isnt constantly wrong and steve isnt constantly pushing shit down#he's only JUST RECENTLY starting to share his emotions as they come up#instead of pretending theyre not there and letting things boil over#I think people just THINK theyre communicating way too clearly because their partner#who loves them#is listening and responding with kindness#like..#idk I have a lot of thoughts about this#would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for this to spark a discussion#and especially for it to cause people to reread a little more critically#and perhaps even introspect on their own ideas of communication standards#I've been with my partner for 10 years. this is how we talk to eachother
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