#especially in april dear god.

[snixx]

just realized that almost all the art I've made in the past couple of years has been for my friends. usually for birthdays. it's almost never when I'm feeling "inspired" but I do it anyway because I love them. and there's something so cool about that. everything I create with my hands is made entirely with love <3

[katyspersonal]

Tried to play with the concept of 'comphet'... and lost. Not bi erasure justification team anymore </3

[thecreaturecodex]

Great Old One, Mormo

Image © @chimeride, accessed at his tumblr here

[Monster Number 1900! And, in honor of that milestone, I am finally, finally, posting the statistics for Mormo, Goddess of Predators. She's been haunting this blog for about a year now, being one of the prime movers and shakers in the Age of Monsters campaign seed I sewed back last May, and have been teasing with NPCs and articles. She was intended to have been posted as a capstone to the "Monster Girl Summer" theme last year, but life got in the way.

She is also written in tribute to @abominationimperatrix. Of all of the people who I have met through my writing, she is the one who is most dear to me, and the Age of Monsters was inspired by us going from friends and confidants to lovers and soulmates last April. The Age of Monsters is intended to be a campaign that ties into our shared love of thinking with monsters, about deep ecology, weird creatures and world mythology, and of the importance of love and trust in a time of global chaos and destruction. I love you, Goddess, my Dearest Friend.]

Mormo CR 28 N Outsider This titan is a reptilian humanoid the size of a giant. She has a nest of writhing serpents for hair and six arms, each ending in long sickle claws. She is a serpent from the waist down, although a mass of scar tissue reveals she once had two tails that grew like legs from a pair of hips. Her remaining tail ends in a bushel of thorny spines. A pair of wings like those of a primeval reptile grow from her back.

Mormo The First Medusa, Goddess of Predators N Great Old One of ecology, reptiles and terror Domains Knowledge, Scalykind, Strength, Trickery Subdomains Competition, Fear*, Thought, Venom Worshipers druids, goblins, gnolls, naturalists Minions monsters of all kinds (especially hybrids) Holy Symbol a medusa’s head in profile Favored Weapon claw (or sickle) *clerics of Mormo can use the Fear subdomain to modify the Trickery domain

Mormo is the Goddess of Predators. She was born from the fear felt by the first animal with enough imagination to see a shadow and think it a predator. For millions of years, she was bestial, primordial, little more than a serpentine shadow, but as sapience developed and the gods began to take interest in souls, her mind sharpened, and she became as dangerous for her strategies as her teeth and claws. Mormo views the natural world as one to be studied in order to best determine what to hunt and how to hunt it, with the unblinking patience of a snake. Her hunts, and those of her followers, are focused to maintain the active equilibrium of ecological balance—reducing overpopulated species, controlling trophic cascades, and taking out species that consume more than their fair share of resources.

Mormo was once called the Mother of Monsters, and many species of monster found throughout the planes are her descendants. Mormo’s descendants tend to be creatures that combine mammalian and reptilian or avian features; griffons, medusae, chimeras and dragonnes are among her creations. In the past, she had many lovers and created new species with their lineages. The most notorious of these collaborators was Typhon, a Lord of Hell and former asura rana, created from the divine mistake of allowing dragons to proliferate. Despite his evil nature, Typhon truly loved Mormo, and spread cults of her under the alias “Echidna”. Mormo cared little for her humanoid followers, preferring the worship of the powerful individual monsters who hunted by her side. But Mormo also had enemies. And she was gazed upon with hungry eyes by Lamashtu, then a demon of infanticide who sought to become the Lord of Beasts and Queen of Demons. And Mother of Monsters.

Lamashtu ambushed Mormo, and was victorious after a battle that lasted for a full day. Lamashtu ripped the baby from Mormo’s womb and raised him as her own; this is Typhon’s last son, Abraxas. Lamashtu tore off one of Mormo’s twin tails, which regenerated into a cancerous creature on its own right. This was the origin of Geryon, who spread treacherous lies suggesting that Typhon and Lamashtu were lovers. This got Typhon demoted and murdered by Asmodeus; Geryon took Typhon’s place as a Lord of Hell and spent millennia erasing his predecessor from history. The blood that spilled from both combatant’s wounds grew into creatures with serpentine and humanoid traits; Mormo’s blood became the first nagas, and Lamashtu’s the first mariliths. And Mormo was slain, reborn as a mundane snake to regenerate in the First World for centuries, and maintaining her cosmic sulk for millennia more

But now Mormo stirs in her slumber. And she is ready to take her revenge.

As befits a Goddess of Predators, Mormo is a terror in combat. Millennia of dormancy and a closer tie to the natural world than other Great Old Ones has stripped her of an unnatural presence, but her fourfould gaze can petrify, paralyze, terrorize or merely strike enemies dead. She is extremely venomous, and those that have survived her venom report, chillingly, that it induces euphoria even as it breaks down tissue into a bloody mess. She uses her fangs (both in her own mouth and those in her serpentine hair) and claws in melee, and can fire the spines from her tail like arrows. One of Mormo’s most recently developed talents is witchcraft. She has made an arcane bond with the phouka Gigi, and Gigi treats Mormo as a patron even as Mormo treats Gigi as a familiar for storing spells. Gigi spends most of her days separate from Mormo on the Material Plane, and so Mormo usually maintains a small spell selection through Spell Mastery. If she is encountered with Gigi, Mormo has access to a much wider variety of spells (all witch spells from the Core Rulebook at least).

The cult of Mormo is small and scattered, but the First Medusa pays it much more heed than she did in her youth. Religious rituals include studying nature and monsters (either through texts or in the field), hunting for food, and mock chases and hunts among the congregation. Supplicants often use makeup, costumes, and illusion and transmutation magic to appear as different types of predators and prey for these hunts. Once someone is “caught”, the result is play fighting, sex or both instead of actual killing or consumption. Mormo’s worshippers value diversity of all kinds, and are often allies of other divinities with portfolios involving nature, scholarship and hedonism. As goblin and gnoll societies break free of Lamashtu’s influence, they often find Mormo, and her cult is growing fastest among these two species.

Mormo CR 28 XP 4,915,200 N Huge outsider (Great Old One) Init +22; Senses all-around vision, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +42, scent

Defense AC 45, touch 26, flat-footed 37 (-2 size, +8 Dex, +10 insight, +19 natural) hp 688 (32d10+512); fast healing 20 Fort +26, Ref +26, Will +27 DR 20/epic; Immune ability damage, ability drain, aging, cold, death effects, disease, energy drain, flanking, mind-influencing effects, paralysis, petrification; Resist acid 30, electricity 30, fire 30; SR 39 Defensive Abilities freedom of movement, immortality, insanity (DC 38), otherworldly insight

Offense Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft., swim 30 ft. fly 60 ft. (average) Melee 2 bites +44 (2d6+14 plus poison), 6 claws +44 (1d12+14/19-20), tail slap +39 (3d8+21 plus grab) Ranged 6 spines +38 (1d8+14) Space 15 ft.; Reach 15 ft. Special Attacks constrict (2d8+21),devolutionary nightmare, favored enemy (+6, +4, +4, +2, +2), fourfold gaze, poison, powerful blows (tail slap), rend (2 claws, 1d12+21) Spell-like Abilities CL 28th, concentration +40 Constant—freedom of movement, true seeing At will—cloudkill (DC 27), dream, fear (DC 26), greater animal aspect, greater scrying (DC 26), greater teleport (self plus 50 lbs objects only), nightmare (DC 27), pernicious poison 3/day—quickened baleful polymorph (DC 27), quickened bloody claws, finger of death (DC 29), polymorph any object (DC 30), reincarnate, stone to flesh 1/day—discern location, maze, moment of prescience, plane shift (DC 29), shapechange

Spells CL 20th, concentration +32 9th—quickened cure critical wounds (x2, DC 27), dominate monster (DC 31), shapechange (x2) 8th—quickened divine power (x2), quickened enervation, horrid wilting (x2, DC 30), mind blank 7th—extended greater heroism, heal (DC 29, x2), quickened vampiric touch (x2), waves of ecstasy (DC 29) 6th—quickened bull’s strength, greater dispel magic (x3), greater heroism (x2) 5th—cure critical wounds (DC 27, x2), extended divine power, feeblemind (DC 27, x2), quickened mage armor 4th—extended arcane sight, divine power (x2), enervation (x3), neutralize poison (DC 26) 3rd—arcane sight, ray of exhaustion (x3, DC 25), vampiric touch (x2) 2nd—bull’s strength (x2), cure moderate wounds (DC 24, x3), perceive cues (x2) 1st—comprehend languages (x3), divine favor (x3), mage armor 0th—detect magic, read magic

Statistics Str 39, Dex 27, Con 42, Int 34, Wis 24, Cha 35 Base Atk +32; CMB +48 (+52 grapple); CMD 66 (cannot be tripped) Feats Combat Reflexes, Deadly Aim,Extend Spell, Greater Sunder, Improved Critical (claw), Improved Initiative, Improved Sunder, Iron Will, Point Blank Shot, Power Attack, Precise Shot, Quicken SLA (baleful polymorph, bloody claws), Quicken Spell, Spell Mastery (x2) Skills Acrobatics +44, Bluff +47, Diplomacy +44, Fly +38, Intimidate +47, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, geography, local, religion) +44, Knowledge (nature, planes) +47, Perception +46, Sense Motive +42, Spellcraft +44, Stealth +35, Survival +45, Use Magic Device +44; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception Languages Aklo, Draconic, Infernal, Sylvan, telepathy 100 ft. SQ no breath, planar acclimation, swift tracking, thagomizer

Ecology Environment any land or underground (First World) Organization unique Treasure double standard

Special Abilities Devolutionary Nightmare (Sp) Any creature affected by Mormo’s nightmare spell like ability must succeed a DC 38 Will save or be affected by a primal regression spell for the next 24 hours. Favored Enemy (Ex) Mormo gains the favored enemy ability of a 20th level ranger, except that she can change what creature types and subtypes count as her favored enemies after resting for 8 hours. Fourfold Gaze (Su) Mormo has a gaze attack with a range of 60 feet. She may change the effects of her gaze, or suppress it, as a free action once per turn. The possible effects are: 1. panicked 1 minute (Will DC 38) 2. paralyzed 1 round (Will DC 38) 3. petrification (Fort DC 38) 4. 200 points of damage (Fort DC 38 negates) This is a mind-influencing effect, and the saving throw is Charisma based. Immortality (Ex) If Mormo is slain, she is reborn as a viper on the First World. Every 100 years, Mormo gains a size category until she reaches Huge size, whereupon she molts her skin and is reborn in her true form. Planar Acclimation (Ex) Mormo is always considered to be on her home plane, regardless of what plane she finds herself upon. She never gains the extraplanar subtype. Poison (Ex) Bite—injury; save Fort DC 42; duration 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 2d4 Con damage and stunned 1d4 rounds; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Constitution based. Spells Mormo can cast spells as a 20th level witch with the Strength patron. The spells listed above are the ones Mormo has taken Spell Mastery feats to prepare. Spines (Ex) As a standard action, Mormo can fire six spines from her tail. Treat each spine as a ranged attack roll with a thrown weapon with a range increment of 100 feet. Each spine deals 1d8 damage plus Mormo’s Strength modifier on a successful hit. Swift Tracking (Ex) Mormo does not suffer a penalty to Survival checks made to follow tracks at her normal speed, and only takes a -10 penalty for following tracks at double speed. Thagomizer (Ex) Mormo’s tail slap attack deals bludgeoning and piercing damage.

[fire-fira]

The way 03 Leo acts he seems more like a samurai then a ninja thoughts?

In the strict sense, I definitely agree with you.

Because in terms of his samurai-like qualities--

Honor and bushido are his thing, no question.

Along with that are his very strong morals, his sense of right and wrong.

And responsibility. Dear gods his sense of responsibility. (I can sympathize a bit with Raph at some points about how this Leo overdoes it and occasionally puts his family at risk because of it.) - Which is also reflected in his PTSD response in needing to be 'better'. - And general overall perfectionism, let's be real.

Did I mention honor? Because HONOR. This boy gives Zuko from ATLA a run for his money with how often he says the word.

Plus the narrative l o v e s tying his well-being and 'soul' to the state his swords are in; a thing which is way more 'samurai' or 'ronin' than 'ninja'.

On the other hand, he is ninja-like in that--

He tends to stick to the shadows.

He's much more comfortable going in on a mission the sneaky way rather than metaphorically (or literally) kicking down the front door.

He's not above using what he has at his disposal as a weapon, even though he's much more comfortable using his swords. (The time he yeeted the seat of a hovercraft at some triceratons comes to mind.)

He's also not above using his swords as a general use tool (like when he helped April peel that ridiculous number of apples out at the farmhouse) instead of having the samurai-like reverence of only really using his swords for combat.

And to touch on point 2 here again, if there's a way to successfully complete a mission without a head-on confrontation then he doesn't seem opposed to taking a sneakier way to get things done.

With all of that^^^^ I suspect Usagi regards him as strangely samurai/ronin-adjacent. Especially since, unlike most ninja Usagi is acquainted with, he very clearly isn't

an assassin

for hire

likely to stab someone in the back

likely to attack someone when they can't defend themself

likely to go back on his word

someone who can be paid off with enough compensation

someone who will act without necessarily caring about the impact of their actions.

All of that gives Leo (and his family by extension) a pass that Usagi likely wouldn't offer otherwise.

There's also a good chance that Usagi rationalizes it to himself with the excuse that since Leo and his family are from a different world with wildly different circumstances that what being a ninja 'means' in their world is likewise dramatically different from what it means in his world, and as such he can only fairly judge by what he knows of Leo and the others personally.

This might have become a bit of a tangent. lol Thank you for the ask though!

[jerzwriter]

The Big ONE

Happy Birthday to little Samantha, who turned one on April 20th!

I asked @/artbyainna (IG) to help create artwork to commemorate the special occasion, and I'm simply squealing at the results! While Tobias and Casey are captivated with their little angel, Pietro is all too happy to jump in and get a bit of that cake he's been eyeing all afternoon! I'm just blown away by this!

I wrote a fic highlighting a few moments during Sammy's big day below. I hope you enjoy the sugary sweetness as much as I do!

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Tobias Carrick x Casey Carrick (F!MC) Characters: Vivian Carrick (F!OC), Jordan Carrick (M!OC), Rose and David MacTavish (OCs), the OH gang, and of course, Pietro - the original cat. Rating: Teen Words: 1,700 A/N: @choicesaprilchallenge24 / Kitchen Table

Standing at her kitchen sink didn't typically usher in so much joy, but then, today wasn't any ordinary day. Casey's heart was full as she peered out the kitchen window into her backyard. It was tiny by suburban standards, but in Boston, it may as well have been an acre. The storms that had been forecasted earlier in the week held off, and the bright sun and azure blue skies provided the perfect canopy for their guests who came to celebrate.

The telltale rattle of the backdoor handle interrupted the silence, and Casey turned to find her husband coming inside. He looked so gorgeous in the fitted pink shirt he bought just for this occasion that she didn't initially catch his expression. Was it bewilderment? Vexation? She couldn't quite make it out.

He reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Sam Adams. Popping the cap off, he leaned against the counter and shook his head.

"I can't believe there's a freaking petting zoo in my yard."

Casey chuckled as she closed the distance between them, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as her arms encircled his waist.

"It’s not like you weren’t warned... albeit inadvertently.”

“Still...” he sighed.

“You know, from what I’ve heard, this place was a perpetual petting zoo in the past. Of course, it wasn’t the G-rated type, but even so... this shouldn't be so foreign to you.”

She closed her eyes and pressed closer against him, relishing the way his chest reverberated against her as he laughed.

“While the stories of my past can be a bit on the wild side, they tend to be overexaggerated, my dear.”  

Casey squeezed him tighter. “I can’t believe our baby girl is a year old already.”

“I know,” Tobias replied with amazement. “It all went by in a flash.”

“It did,” Casey agreed. “Although, some of the nights felt like they lasted an eternity. Especially in the beginning. God, sometimes I didn’t think I’d survive.”

“You?” Tobias marveled. “No way! You had the whole motherhood thing down pat from the start. You're a natural, babe.”

“A natural?” She laughed. “Are you kidding me? From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was a hyperventilating mess!" Her hands rubbed along the silky fabric covering his chest, and her voice filled with emotion. “If not for your bright outlook and constant support, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. You’re my rock, T.”

The tender moment was interrupted when the door handle rattled again, and several of their friends stepped inside.

“Jesus!” Jackie groaned. “Do you two ever stop with that lovey-dovey shit?”

“Aw! Leave them alone!” Sienna smiled. “I think they’re adorable.”

“I might be more accepting of that adorable title if it was any random day,” Bryce interjected. “But what the hell are you doing inside with this kissy face crap when you have a freaking petting zoo and bouncy house in your yard?”

“Yeah,” Tobias chuckled. “Ma didn’t read the memo when we said we wanted a simple party with our friends."

“She also didn’t get that none of our friends have children, and Sammy’s too young for friends of her own... I don’t know that we needed all this.”

“Are you kidding?” Bryce gasped in horror. Vivian is a goddess! I’ve been in the bouncy house for the past hour, and that little wallaby out there is now my best friend. You two really need to come out.”

“Oh, I will so be in the bouncy house before this day is over!” Casey enthused.

“And I’ll be there to gleefully record every second,” Tobias winked. “But we’re going to set up to have the cake in here now.”

A peal of laughter wafted in through the open window, and everyone looked outside to see Sammy flying through the air—her face aglow as she giggled with abandon.

“Give her back to me!” Tobias’s brother, Jordan, insisted as Ethan swung the little one around again.

“Sorry,” Ethan responded. “She’s made her position clear. I’m her favorite uncle. You’ll just have to acclimate to being number two, Jordan.”

“Number two,” Bryce blurted as he was about to stick his hand into the nacho dip. “He’s not number two! And Ethan’s not number one! Sorry guys, I have to get out there and reclaim my ground!”

Jackie heaved out a sigh. “I suppose I should go supervise the children.”

“And I’ll make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone,” Sienna said, quick on her friend's heels.

Tobias slid behind Casey, wrapping his strong arms around her as they watched the joyful scene unfolding outside.

“Oh, no! Our parents are getting in on this now,” Casey observed as Tobias kissed her shoulder. “We better go retrieve Sammy before she's more spoiled than she is already."

"Nah," Tobias declined. "She's in very good hands, and I want just one more moment alone with my beautiful wife."

Casey turned around in Tobias's arms and gently kissed him, but he turned that little kiss into one with decidedly more passion.

"Keep that up, and we'll end up with baby number two," she giggled.

"Damn, she's on to my plan," he winked.

~~~~

A short time later, the circus had moved inside as the guests crowded into the family's living room to open gifts.

“I was told we were coming inside for cake,” Bryce pouted. 

Vivian, seated next to him, promptly slapped his knee.

“OW!”

“It’s presents before cake, Lahela. Everyone knows that.”

“I don’t think Sammy would mind either way,” he replied but acquiesced when he saw how happy the little girl was ripping into the gift wrap on her presents.

“Look!” Sienna said, tapping Casey’s Mom, Rose, on the shoulder. “She loves the stuffed pony you got her!”

“She does,” Rose beamed. “Although Grandma Vivian supplied the real pony in the yard!”

“Yeah,” Casey’s father, David, laughed. “We’ll have to up our game next year, hon. Vivian here is stealing our thunder.”

“NO!” Tobias and Casey yelled in unison.

“Don’t worry,” Tobias insisted. “My mother is going to be banished from next year’s celebration! We can have some normalcy.”

“Like hell I will be!” she spat as Jordan roared with laughter.

“Please, you have a better chance of Derek Jeter being elected mayor of Boston than you do of Ma missing any of Sammy’s birthdays.”

“That’s right! This fool made me wait almost four decades to be a grandma, I'm not missing any of it now!"

Tobias wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulders and squeezed her close. “I know you wouldn’t, Ma. And we wouldn't want you to, but... can we celebrate without so many animals next year?”

“I don’t know,” Vivian smirked. “I think it would be wrong not to include your friends.”

~~~~~

A pile of opened gifts sat stacked neatly in the corner as little Pietro played happily with the bits of colorful gift wrap that remained taped to the boxes. But the cat wasn’t the only one excited; after all, it was finally time for CAKE!

“Casey, you look great!” Jordan stated. “But, Tobias, I need you to move a bit to the right.”

“For God's sake,” Tobias groused. “Can you just take the picture already?"

“Can we start singing?” Vivian asked. "I want to sing to my grandbaby."

“As soon as I get this picture,” Jordan replied. “All right! Casey, Tobias... perfect! Now, everyone, help me get Sammy to look this way.”

Everyone gathered behind Jordan, making faces, clapping their hands, and doing all they could to get the precious little girl to look their way. But Sammy only had eyes for one thing... the fluffy pink birthday cake that was just outside of her reach. That is until her feline best friend hopped on the table, stealing her attention and leaving her squealing with delight.

Casey lifted him, placing him gently back on the floor. “Not on the table, Pietro.”

“Yeah!” Jackie replied smugly. “No cake for you.”

The cat hissed at his nemesis as the clamoring to get Sammy to look at the camera continued.

“Oh, for the love of God,” Tobias bewailed. “Can you just take the picture!”

“I sure can,” Jordan nodded. “On the count of three! One... two... three!”

But just as her uncle snapped the photo, Sammy lurched forward and grabbed a fistful of the cotton candy colored icing, and when Tobias attempted to intervene, he ended up with a tiny fistful of sticky, sugary goodness splattered onto his face. A family photo that would be celebrated for generations to come was born.

Beaming, Tobias lifted Sammy off Casey’s lap as her chubby little hands mashed the icing deeper into her father’s beard.

Laughing, Casey pulled her phone out of her pocket to snap some shots of her own. “Our little girl has you wrapped around her finger, T!”

Tobias reached over and pulled Casey close; the sticky icing became a family affair when he kissed her cheek. “She sure does. Just like her, Momma!”

Amidst all the chaos, Pietro saw an opportunity, and he took it! Leaping onto the table, he stuck his paws into the cake and delighted in his sugary bonanza until Casey spotted him out of the corner of her eye.

“Pietro! No!” she hollered as Jackie, the only one who had seen the cat on the table, broke out laughing.

“You saw him and didn’t rat him out?” Casey teased. "What's happened to you?"

Jackie merely shrugged. “You have to admire him. He wanted something, saw an opening, and took it. I’m not about to turn him in for that.”

"Are you and that cat... bonding?" Casey asked.

"I guess Sammy's birthday is capable of miracles."

~~~~~ 

Hours later, after the final guest had gone home, Casey and Tobias snuggled together on the couch. Sammy slept in her playpen just feet away while Pierto kept a protective watch over her. Despite being exhausted, the proud parents couldn’t wipe the grins off their faces.

“This was such a great day,” Casey smiled. “I knew it would be, but it exceeded all expectations.”

“It was a really great day,” Tobias agreed. “And I think Ma only violated three town ordinances by insisting a wallaby was included in the petting zoo."

“She didn’t break any ordinances,” Casey laughed, her eyes suddenly going wide. “At least, not any that we know of.”

“Well, if she did, we successfully evaded charges, and that's all I can ask for."

“Mmmm,” Casey hummed, snuggling closer to him. “So, do you still want to add another Carrick to all this craziness?”

Tobias sat up, his interest piqued. “Damn straight, I do. Honestly, I want our girls to be close together. Jordan and I had a big age difference, and I’d like Sammy to grow up with her sister, you know?”

“Tobias,” Casey chuckled. “You know we have no way of knowing if we'd have another girl!”

His eyes lit up, and that little dimple Casey found so irresistible took center stage. “Oh, yes, I do. Now the big question... are you ready to have bambina number two?”

Casey sunk back into the fluffy couch cushions with a smile. “Soon? Maybe we can start trying around the end of summer. You know, it might not happen right away, but if we start then, maybe Sammy can have a little sister... or brother... by the end of next year. What do you say?"

“First, sister,” Tobias grinned. “And it will happen right away. Look at how fast it happened with Sammy.”

“Babe, we weren’t planning on Sammy.”

“Exactly,” Tobias grinned, holding Casey close. "I work that damn well when we weren't even trying... you just wait until we are."

Sammy made a funny little noise, and when Mom and Dad realized she was just having a happy dream, they returned to holding each other close.

"Well, I feel a lot better right now than I did a year ago at this time," Casey stated. "I mean, a day of family and friends is a cakewalk next to labor and delivery."

"Yet, you're willing to do it again," Tobias chuckled.

"Yeah, I think I'll make it through," she smiled. "I love our little family, T."

"So do I," he said with a kiss on her forehead. "And I love you."

~~~~~

That's some serious sweetness here, my friends! I hope you enjoyed it... Pietro sure did!

@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesaprilchallenge24 @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[witherburn-after-school-news]

Is there any confirmed date for season two? If not is there at least an estimate?

(i genuinely love this podcast oh my god, i picked it up after seeing a tiktok on your account about how it's for tma fans and dear god i'm so glad i did so)

Sooo some major life events happened recently. Our goal is to start releasing a season 2 around June. We took a little break because behind the scenes we have been working none stop on this for 2 years (while we both had multiple jobs)

So here is our time line:

By the New Year we want to finalize the scripts.

From Jan-March it’s gonna be Voice Acting

April-May we edit

We actually want to have an episode a week. Especially with everything we have learned about editing, Voice acting, and podcast making in general.

So yeah June is our goal which seems like a long time but this is us speeding up our process actually

[sgiandubh]

I just read something a blogger wrote saying one of C's sister does not like Sam. Is it true? Did her sister say so?

Dear C's Sister Anon,

It is and it is not exactly that. The sister in question has to be Ms. Deirdre Balfe, bearing in mind that it was not S she disliked or dislikes, it was shippers.

May I redirect you to SHW's post on the issue, simply because she sums it up very effectively. It would take me at least three paragraphs to overexplain a very clear thing: https://www.tumblr.com/samheughanswife/667147176777007104/from-this-to-this-in-a-matter-of-days?source=share

Here. I am even willing to screencap the before/after of Deirdre's Twitter/X bio, which is self-explanatory.

Before early November 2021:

After early November 2021:

It also is my understanding the above Twitter/X account was deactivated at some point between November 2021 and April 2022, only to re-emerge then. The new one is, however, an empty shell: zero posts, zero follows, six followers. God only knows if it is the same person or not: nothing - mark me, nothing -surprises me anymore in this corner of the Weird, Weird Web:

Taking one more time the opportunity to state my very firm belief it is never ok to reach to their relatives or, for that matter, any other side players, especially on social media and in a completely non-organic context. It's tacky and disingenuous AF - imagine you win the lottery in your country and just about everyone in your family is suddenly approached by a bunch of random people who didn't even know you existed. There must be a reason why people sound or act bluntly and not everyone is prepared and/or willing to deal with this side effect of fickle, fickle Lady Fame.

[curiositymemes]

ENCHANTED APRIL SENTENCE STARTERS.

taken from the 1991 film, an adaptation of the 1922 novel by elizabeth von arnim. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“it seems so wonderful and it's such a miserable day.”

“it’s not worth wasting one’s time thinking about.” 

“i don’t suppose that means much to you. sometimes it doesn’t mean much to me, either.”

“you look as though you wanted it as much as i do.” 

“you look so beautiful and so sad.” 

“if you wish for something hard enough, it happens.”  

“but no one will know I’m there even if i am.”

“have you ever seen things in a kind of flash before they happen?” 

“i’m sure it must be wrong to be good for so long you become miserable.”

“i can see you’ve been good for years, and you aren’t happy.”

“i’ve been doing things for other people since i was a little girl, and i don’t believe i’m loved any better.” 

“you must believe I’ve never spoken to anyone like this in my life.”

“i don’t know what’s come over me.” 

“you should have been there, my dear. i missed you.”

“that’s rather a depressing thought.” 

“god must know an awful lot. why doesn’t he do something?” 

“there’s something immoral about all this.”

“all i wish to do is sit in the shade and remember better times and better men.”

“i hope you’re not in the habit of seeing dead people, however distinguished. it’s not in the best of taste.”

“i mean, we’re not businessmen, are we? they have to distrust each other.” 

“i want to just sit and not talk and not think.”

“well, it’s very wearing. everyone makes demands… especially men.” 

“you look lovely.” / “i know. thank you, name.” 

“we could both do with a change.”

“it really is the most extraordinary coincidence.”

“I’m afraid it’s all settled, name. i can’t go back on my word.” 

“do you suppose it’s all real?”

“were you ever in your whole life so happy?”

“i promised myself the first thing to happen in this place would be a kiss.”

“we were going to choose the nicest room for you.”

“we were going to make it pretty for you with lots of flowers.”

“you shouldn’t be so independent that people have no chance to be generous.”

“you know, i hadn’t realized you were so pretty.”

“you’re really quite lovely.” 

“i was just thinking about cuckoos for some reason.” 

“i suppose you realize we’ve got to heaven.”

“i intend to spend most of my time reading by myself.”

“you have the most interesting habit of answering a question with the same question.”

“if i can be left quiet for one month, forget things… i might be able to get myself straight.”

“i’ve wasted so much time being beautiful.”

“what she really wants is to be left alone.” 

“soon she won’t have to try… she’ll just be herself without trying.” 

“don’t worry about me. I’m just lying here thinking.” 

“then i have had all the trouble of coming out here for nothing.”

“we’ve just discovered it.” 

“why don’t you like us being here?”

“we just didn’t know about it, that’s all.”

“i’ve written and told him everything.”

“it would be mean not to share all this.”

“the important thing is to have lots of love about.”

“i had this obsession with justice, you see.”

“i’d like to stay here and think.” 

“that’s very imprudent and very improper.”

“have you noticed how difficult it is to be improper with no men about?” 

“it’s a good feeling, getting rid of things.”

“i want to love name, but not necessarily spend every night with him.”

“i haven’t felt this restless since i was a child.”

“it’s too absurd for someone my age.”

“i feel something is going to happen. but i won’t let it.” 

“it’s odd how one’s mind slips sideways in a place like this.”

“if you knew me, you’d know how strange it was.” 

“there’s no way back.”

“isn’t it beautiful here, name? the air is golden.”

“you’re here. that’s the important thing.”

“you’ve every right to be angry with me.”

“where else would you meet such interesting people?”

“i don’t want name worried in any way.”

“i like him. I didn’t think i would, but i do.” 

“all the advantages i was born with, and i’ve misused them.” 

“i have it all. why can’t i hold onto it?”

“you have a gift for happiness.”

“well, it’s like coming home.”

“i mean, well… i don’t know what i mean.”

“i’d believe any place you lived in would be exactly like you.” 

“isn’t it better to feel young somewhere than old everywhere?”

“oh, good gracious, child.”

“so you see, dear boy, you must stay here.” 

“it’s such a pretty story.”

“i thought you might be bored.”

“sweetheart… i’m so glad you came.”

“you’re right, name. it’s this place.”

“and i’m late on your very first evening. do forgive me.” 

“it’s a great thing to get on with one’s loving and not waste time.”

“she sees what we can’t see because she loves him.”

“oh, dear name, we must be friends forever and forever.”

“i couldn’t help noticing how miserable you seemed.”

“oh, what the devil. it’s too beautiful a night to be miserable.” 

“all my dead friends don’t seem worth reading tonight. they always say the same things, good things, but always the same.” 

“i’m tired of the dead. i want the living.” 

“thank you, my dear. i was feeling a little melancholy.” 

“it does seem that people can only be happy in pairs, all sorts of pairs.” / “then you and i will be a pair, name. we’re going to be very good friends.” 

“the roses are in love in the rose garden.”

“but that’s another story.”

[femalethink]

In a key scene in Red Dragon, an FBI agent tells a group of police officers that there is no doubt that the family serial killer will strike again. “Why?” one woman asks him. “Because it makes him God,” intones the agent. Just days after Red Dragon opened, the police found the Death card from a Tarot deck near the scene of one of the shootings. Inscribed on the card was a message from the shooter. It was reported in the media as reading: “Dear Policeman, I am God.”

Such grandiose allusions to divinity have long been a crucial part of the serial killer myth. They proliferate as well in technological, especially nuclear, mystique and metaphor, most famously when the erudite J. Robert Oppenheimer, “father” of the atomic bomb, named the bomb test site “Trinity” and then, while witnessing the first atomic blast, recited the god Krishna’s words from the sacred Hindu text, the Bhagavad-Gita: “I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds.”

More mundane occasions for such utterances occur regularly in popular playtimes. In the media storm that followed the discovery of the inscribed Tarot card in the Beltway case, the public learned that “I am God” is a common declaration by victorious players of violent video games. We were reminded that Eric Harris, one of the two teenaged boys who committed mass murder at Columbine High School in April 1999, was an avid video game player and had scribbled, “I am God” in another student’s yearbook.

The popularity of this phrase in all of these contexts points to a pervasive, if usually unexamined, recognition that violence, control, total power over others, and specifically masculine lethal violence or the power of “unnatural death,” all have a religious character in our culture. Despite much talk of God being “love” and associated with creation, the phrase “I am God” is not uttered in delivery rooms by mothers, or by those getting the news that they have received the Nobel Peace Prize. The dominant notion of god in the Abrahamic patriarchal religions is an all-male being whose defining characteristics seem to be omnipotence, jealousy, righteousness, judgment, and dominance. This notion of god powers all sorts of terrorism: religious, political, criminal, familial, militarist, nuclear, and any combination of these as power-mad men take up that mythic role, “playing god” by waging war, accumulating fortunes, toying with others’ lives, and lording it over everybody else.

—Jane Caputi, "Goddesses and Monsters: Women, Myth, Power, and Popular Culture."

[dysfunctional-doodle]

What is your favorite and least favorite version of all the turtles?

I feel like it’s fairly obvious who I favour the most if you read my chat fic, Too Many Turtles (I have a lot of bias, oops) but I shall break it down.

Ok so favourites:

1987: Michelangelo (come on, he’s a surfer dude and actual angel)

90’s: Donnie (the snark he has with Casey makes my day, though Mikey is still second because he genuinely has the best relationship with Donnie I love watching those two interact)

2003: Mikey, duh. Just look at my blog and my fanfics. I love this chaotic gremlin.

2007: Mikey (again! Especially after hearing about the cancelled sequel of him joining the foot, his brothers demutating, etc. I will say I am looking forward to finally getting to the 2007 plot line in my chat fic, it’s gonna be great >:) )

2012: Raph (I haven’t watched much 2012 at all, I just can’t. I don’t know why people think it’s good in all honestly aside from a few episodes, but from what I’ve seen and mostly read about Raph gets way too much abuse dude, someone give this turtle a hug)

Bayverse: Donnie, followed closely by Mikey. (Idk why but the “younger sibling energy” they give these two is actually great. And Donnie’s little stims and the fact that he licks the icing off pop tarts and puts them back in the box just about pushes him above Mikey.)

2019: Mikey (again. Come on. Have you seen him in that movie?)

Rise: Donnie, followed closely by Mikey. (For me they are both pretty much even in different ways. I love Donnie’s chaotic neutral status and Mikey got boosted quite a bit after the movie, and the rage I feel whenever I hear about hall the episodes he was the star of but then they cancelled almost all of them.)

Mutant Mayhem: Mikey (Something about seeing him sadly look through a sewer grate at the humans with that music in the background made me want to protect him forever. Also I love his effort to try and be a comedian but his jokes are…um yeah. As a second I would actually say Leo - I know, strange for me - but idk, he’s just an anxious mess.)

And now least favourites, strap in boys:

1987: uuuh Leo I suppose. Kind of a fun sponge

90’s: again, Leo (though this doesn’t mean I dislike him; I really liked how happy he got when Raph woke up and the way he guarded him before then. He’s just the least favourite.)

2003: Leo (again, the same reasoning i iterated with 90’s. I really like this Leo but compared to the other brothers…he falls a little shorter.)

2007: Leo (Patronising Asshole)

2012: OK, this one is weird. I dislike Donnie the most by far only when he is simping for April. When they let him not have this as his only character trait he’s actually fun to watch but DEAR GOD I hate him when he kept being a creep to her.

Bayverse: Leo (He insulted Mikey, he must die /jk)

2019: Um I guess Raph? I like all of them pretty much equally, don’t really have a least favourite at all.

Rise: Leo (yeah I don’t like him. Don’t get why the fandom does. Still an ass)

Mutant Mayhem: Donnie (idk why, I like everyone else much more. Don’t get me wrong, I still like him though)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hiiiii cal!!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying writing this way because I love getting to read these snippets - it’s like a bunch of mini cliffhangers that prompt my imagination to go wild and it’s so much fun!! I’ll be sending emojis for as long as you’re wanting them!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(they’re getting a house! And about to get married!!! And i might be misremembering but i don’t think you’ve done a detailed buddie wedding in any of your fics yet? I’m very excited to see how you do it!!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(the shenanigans and tomfoolery of being bad at hiding a secret relationship… it amuses me so!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(as i’ve said many times before, my love for this fic goes beyond words!! And you’re venturing into truly riveting territory here i’m so pumped!!)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(my heart breaks for babby - my typo for baby bobby and i’m keeping it - my dear sweet babby)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(i can already feel this one becoming my new obsession! Idk why i thought it was going to be something shorter when you first started posting about it but i was thrilled to see that anticipated chapter count on ao3!)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(islands in the stream has been stuck in my head all day and i blame you! I’m so looking forward to the madney sweetness!)

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼(oh my god cal the angst! It’s angsting!)

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐(huge fan of mays crush being named april - it makes me giggle every time)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(cranberry my baby! And the covidness of it all is so vivid - i’m loving the buck-chris dynamic!)

I never count the amount of emojis i type as i go so i’m always a bit shocked at how many sentences i’ve requested of you when you post the reply 😬 thank you so much for putting up with my crazy requests it brings me such joy!

I hope you have a lovely weekend and week!!

SO AS I WAS FILLING THIS OUT MY FUCKING LAPTOP CRASHED. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE IT HAS TAKEN ME HOURS AND HOURS ACROSS TWO DAYS. FUCK. Let's see if I can find the sentences I wrote again.

For TWATYTK and Zombies, those parts have already been posted, because as I said, this was taking so long. GAH!

I had a whole message typed out about how much I appreciate you. You are so kind! IT'S LOST TO TIME NOW.

I think this was what I had for ⚡️:

---

Their next call is to the scene of a fire. 

This should not be especially eventful, considering that they are firefighters and all. And, for the drive there, it isn’t. The transit process? Just fine. 

It’s the rest that sends Buck into a tailspin. 

He spends the ride seated next to Eddie, thighs touching. They’re back being partnered together. Sadie earned her shield a couple months back, and has been working as Ravi’s partner since. Buck is pretty proud of her - and himself, for training her. He liked working with her a lot. But he’s happy to be back where he belongs, in terms of workplace duos. 

Buck and Eddie - okay, mostly Buck - talk everyone’s ear off about the house for the time it takes them to get to the fire. They should possibly be a little less giddy headed towards an actual three alarm fire, but at that point, Buck thinks his mood simply can’t be shaken. How naive. 

It is perhaps due to this focus on the house, which is nowhere near the direction they’re headed in to get to this fire, that Buck doesn’t realize what is in the direction of the fire. In his defense, neither does anyone else! Not even Eddie! Even Bobby, who knows better where they’re going, doesn’t put the pieces together. 

Maybe it’s because they spend so much time driving around the city. Here and there. Fires and car accidents and medical emergencies everywhere. Everywhere looks familiar! They could all be city tour guides. It’s not like driving through a city where you only know a few places, so the places you know feel like beacons.

Or Buck is just making excuses for his lack of attention. Either way. 

Really, it’s not until they turn onto the street that Buck notices. Though, it’s a long road, and they’re still a few miles out. 

“This is weird,” Buck says. 

“What is?” Sadie asks. She’s sitting across from him. Noticing his sudden onslaught of nerves. 

“We’re on the same street as the wedding venue.”’

That makes Eddie look. He’d been typing a rather long message to his mother and not paying much attention to where they’re going. At Buck’s words, his attention snaps to the window.

“Shit, you’re right.” 

Well, obviously Buck knows he’s right. 

“Bobby,” he asks. “What’s the address of where we’re going?”

“Uh, it is…” Bobby reads. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Buck repeats. He grabs Eddie’s arm. “Oh? Oh, what?”

“Okay, well first let’s remember we don’t know how bad it is yet,” Bobby says, maintaining a steady facade. 

“Bobby, it’s a three-alarm fire!” Buck exclaims, voice raising an octave.

“And the wedding is in days,” Eddie adds, voice wavering with stress. “There’s no time to do any repairs, even if it’s not totally ruined.”

Days. Days. What the fuck are they going to do?

“Okay, let’s not jump to any conclusions. Technically, the address is for the building next door,” Bobby explains. “Everything might be fine.”

Everything is not fine. Quite the opposite, in fact. 

Two minutes after his painstaking revelation, Buck finds himself standing next to his fiancé on the street in front of their wedding venues, watching it plume with smoke. The wind blew the flames from the building next to it, and the roof caught. It won’t fare as badly as the other building, but it certainly won’t be available for their wedding. 

They are getting married.

In three days. 

Their wedding is in three days. 

Their wedding is in three days and has no venue. 

Because their venue is burning right in front of him. 

Their venue was also their caterer, so add that to the fucking fire. 

“Buck! Eddie!” Bobby calls. “Work first, react later!”

Easy for him to say! It’s not his wedding venue! 

“Come on.” Eddie tugs on his turnouts. “We’ve got to go.”

Buck feels like he’s been possessed by a heap of barbed wire. 

He turns his head to Eddie. His eyes are bugged out so wide they might pop from his head. An absurd but sticky thought pops into his head. 

“You jinxed us,” Buck accuses. 

“Buck!” Eddie complains.

---

And 🚨:

---

“Okay, that makes sense. Was it his family?”

Buck nods. “They were religious. Conservative. Southern.”

“I can relate,” Eddie tells him. 

“Eventually, I just wanted to be able to relax, though,” Buck says. “I made him promise we’d do it at the end of the tour. Not to his family. Just, to friends… And in public.”

Eddie’s expression softens as he realizes.

“And then he died.”

“Yeah.” 

And then he died. 

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie exhales.

Buck shakes his head. His eyes start to sting. 

“It’s stupid, Eddie. I know there’s no logic behind it. It just feels like once something is out loud, it can be taken away.”

Eddie nods, understanding the thought process. 

“We both know I can’t promise you I won’t spontaneously die,” he says. “Especially in a global pandemic.”

“I know,” Buck nods. 

“But, uh…” Eddie sighs. “It’s like you said when I was worried about Chris, right? I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

“Prove it to me?” Buck asks.

“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “I’ll just prove that we get to have a life together. Even if we’re both a little bit scared of dying.”

“I’m scared of you dying,” Buck reminds him. 

“Okay, well we’re at an equal risk, so… Not the point, actually. Buck, the point is, I’ll show you every day, alright?” Eddie promises. “We get to have this.”

Buck takes a deep breath. He leans forward in bed and grabs Eddie’s hand. 

“I don’t know if I’d believe anyone else,” he says quietly. 

Eddie shuffles up the mattress, closer to Buck.

“Believe me,” he says. 

“Okay,” Buck relents. “But only because you’re very pretty.”

Eddie smirks. “It’s a gift.”

“Mmm, or a trick.”

Eddie chuckles and kisses his temple, right beside the birthmark. 

“I love you,” he says. “That’s not going anywhere, okay?”

“Okay,” Buck breathes. 

He decides to try his best to believe him. 

---

And the 90 sentences I wrote for this damn 🩸:

---

But it does show Buck what she’s up to. 

It kind of makes him mad, actually. Eddie has gone to such intense, devastating lengths to hide himself. Meanwhile, his attacker has been out here, just living life. Posting about walks through the park and her latest baking experiment. How is that fucking fair? 

It’s not. 

It’s not fair. 

And while Buck knows what he has to do isn’t fair either - isn’t right or human or good - he tries to keep that in mind. 

She ruined Eddie’s life. Twice. She didn’t have to do that. Now, what choice does Buck have? 

February 10th, 2025

Eddie does something on Monday that he perhaps should not do. Something the tiniest bit risky. After his call with Adriana, he’s feeling that a bit of risk taking to get his life back where it needs to be is necessary. And anyway, he’s not doing anything illegal. Not doing anything wrong. Nothing he can be arrested for. 

He’s picking his son up from school. 

Chris pauses, exiting Durand School to see Eddie in the driver’s seat of the truck. His eyes widened with nerves for a moment. Eddie felt a rush of guilt. He doesn’t want to make Chris worry. Doesn’t want to cause any undue stress. He just wants to feel like a normal dad again, picking his kid up from school. 

But then Chris breaks out into a wide grin, and Eddie feels his whole body relax. 

“You came!” Chris exclaims, surprised, when he reaches the vehicle. 

Eddie climbs out to help him into the front seat. Not that Chris needs a lot of help anymore. Mostly just someone to hold his crutches and bag. 

“I did,” Eddie confirms. He tries to keep his voice even. 

“You’re not worried?” 

“No,” Eddie says. “Well, maybe a little. But I’m not doing anything I’m not allowed to do.”

Chris thinks about this. “I’m glad you came today.”

“Me too,” Eddie decides. “Do you want to grab ice cream or something on the way home?”

Chris narrows his eyes. “I’m not a little kid, remember?”

“Jeez, I didn’t know ice cream had an age limit,” Eddie frowns. “Buck will be devastated to hear this. You know how seriously he takes his Neapolitan.”

Chris smirks. “Fine. Okay. I want ice cream.”

Eddie grins. “Thought so.”

Fifteen minutes later, they’re sitting on a little patio, under the shade of an umbrella. Eddie is in the darkest seat, also covered by sunglasses and a hat. Chris sits in the sunshine, spooning strawberry ice cream from a little paper bowl. 

“So, I wanted to run an idea by you,” Eddie says. 

“Me?” Chris asks. 

“Yeah, you. Who else?”

“I don’t know,” Chris shrugs. “What is it?”

“Well, I think I need to get a job,” Eddie says. 

“But you can’t be a firefighter,” Chris fills in.

“No,” Eddie says. “I don’t think I can.”

“So, then what?” 

“Well, May suggested I look into telehealth services. Like a hotline for medical advice or something,” Eddie says. 

Chris nods. “You’d be good at that.”

“Thank you,” Eddie replies. “But, uh, I did a little research and I think I found something different that suits me even better.”

“What is it?”

“Well, there’s this nonprofit that operates out of Los Angeles looking for people with medical experience. Nurses. Doctors. Paramedics.” 

“Like a charity?” Chris asks. 

“Yeah, but I’d get paid,” Eddie says. “It’s a job. Bringing emergency medical care to people who maybe don’t feel safe to call for help.” 

“Like… You?” Chris whispers the last part. 

“Yeah, but not just like me,” Eddie explains. “All kinds of people. People facing deportation. Homeless people. People who can’t afford an ambulance ride. Stuff like that.”

---

This is easier to count again haha 🔮:

---

Buck wakes up with his cheek pressed into the bannister support poles of Bobby’s apartment stairwell. He can feel their imprint as he woozily pulls his upper body upright. His head is pounding and he feels vaguely nauseous. Almost like he’s been drugged. Though, the comedown when they’d been spiked with LSD had been far more gradual than the sudden, brutal snap back to reality that had been whatever that was. 

Not a coma, he realizes. If he’s sitting in the stairwell to Bobby’s apartment, not a hospital room, then it wasn’t a coma dream. Kind of an insane regular dream, though? And why had he passed out in the first place?

Acutely aware he won’t find any answers here, parked on his ass, Buck pulls himself to his feet. Slowly, and gripping the bannister for support, just in case, he straightens out his body. His legs give a little wobble. 

What the fuck happened to him?

Partway down the stairs, Buck looks up and down. Should he go out to the Jeep and risk driving home? Feeling like this? He supposes he could call Eddie. Eddie would come for him, no questions asked. He knows he could ask Bobby for help, too. No matter what just happened between them. But his brain is battling two contradictory memories; the fight he had with Bobby in the kitchen and the memory he somehow intruded on of Bobby at his father’s funeral. If that was even real. The easy thing to do would be to go downstairs and call Eddie, not deal with any of it. Hold onto the only thing he knows really happened. 

With a sigh, Buck turns and climbs the stairs. Up towards Bobby’s. 

The moment his foot hits the landing on Bobby’s floor, Buck sees the breathless, similarly disoriented face of his captain jogging down the hallway. He looks pale. Hair a little mussed. Half his face is red, like it’s been pressed against something, too. 

---

A bunch for this guy here 🧟:

---

“May is awake and lucid,” she says. “She’s asking for you.”

Athena grabs one of Hen’s hands and squeezes it. 

“Thank you. Thank you.” 

Then she hurries off in the direction of her daughter’s sickroom. 

Hen doesn’t go after her. She waits, lingering, to speak with Bobby. 

“Did you find Michael?” She asks. 

Bobby shakes his head slightly. 

“It looks like he was infected in the initial outbreak or sometime soon after.”

Hen’s shoulder sag. “Damn it. Poor Athena. Poor kids.” 

Bobby nods. He doesn’t know what else to say. Yes. It’s horrendous. Everything is always so horrendous and everyone’s families are always dying. 

“We should ask her to stay,” Hen says quietly. “She’s a friend. We trust her. The kids will be good for Denny.”

Bobby knows they have enough food to stretch to more than just the three of them. Plus, more hands means more potential to harvest more. Fish more. Preserve more. 

“It’s not just my decision,” Bobby says. “We’ll have to discuss it as a group.”

“No, but it’ll go whatever way you want it to go,” Hen says. “You know that.”

He does. 

“I think it’s a good idea, Hen. But I want everyone’s input.” 

“Like you did with the radio?” She asks.

Bobby raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Buck told you?”

“Oh, yes.” She says. “Wanted to get ahead of it, I guess.”

“Do you think I did the wrong thing?” Bobby asks. 

Hen might be the only person he’s willing to ask this of. The only person whose answer he really wants to know. 

“No,” she says. “I don’t think you did the wrong thing. But I’m worried about him anyway.”

“Me too, Hen.” Bobby admits.

He’s always worried about Buck. All the time. Every minute. Even when Buck hasn’t done anything deserving of Buck’s worry. 

One day, Buck is going to finally let himself realize they’re all dead. Maddie. Abby. Every person he knew and loved before this. He’ll realize they’re all gone. And Bobby worries, every moment, that it will destroy him. He worries he won’t find a reason to keep pushing forward.

---

A few here 👑:

---

Chim finally gets a chance to talk to Hen about it, privately, somewhere around four in the morning. They’re in the ambulance, driving back from yet another party gone wrong that resulted in a hospital transport. At least this time no one puked. Just a badly broken ankle from a drunken trampoline adventure. 

“So you forgot to get her number,” Hen says. “Can’t you go back?”

“Stroll up to a gated mansion tomorrow and say, ‘hi, I’m the guy who kissed your daughter while you were trying to set her up with rich hedge fund types?’ I don’t think so, Hen.”

“She’s probably trying to find your information, too,” Hen tries. 

“I hope,” Chim grumbles. 

“And, hey, you’re very findable on social media,” Hen adds. “She won’t have trouble.”

“Should I message her brother?” Chim asks. “Is that crazy? He was nice!”

“Mmm, maybe wait until you’ve slept for all forms of communication,” Hen advises. “She knows you’re at work, anyway. She won’t be expecting to hear from you.”

“Right. Right. You’re so smart. Why are you so smart?”

“I had a nap in the bunk room while you were at the party.”

Damn. Yeah. A nap would make him sharper. 

“So, it’s just a waiting game for now,” Chim sighs. This is not helping with the resounding feeling that he may, in fact, be a complete fool.

“I think so,” Hen agrees. “Sorry, Chim.”

👑👑👑

By some stroke of fate, he’s not waiting very long. 

When they park the ambulance in the engine bay and climb out, sore and tired, Chim is met with the sound of a strangely familiar voice. One he thinks he may just be hallucinating. 

“You’re the captain? That’s so cool!” He hears. “That means you’ve been doing this forever, right? You know a lot about it?”

---

OKAY BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING! THAT IS WHERE MY LAPTOP ABANDONED ME.

30 for 🔼:

---

She accepts the cards she’s been dealt, just like last time. After all, didn’t she shuffle the deck?

She sees her son as much as she can. She goes back to her office admin job as soon as she’s able. She misses Eddie’s shield ceremony. His request. She avoids his parents while they’re in town altogether. Her choice. 

Other than coworkers, she really has no adults to see. Compounded with that, she and Eddie have made the decision not to tell family - even Christopher - until her second trimester. So Shannon finds herself existing in this strange vacuum of silence. Again, one of her own making. But difficult to navigate nonetheless. 

That changes about seven weeks after her accident. Completely unintentionally, she might add. 

None of it was ever a plan in her head. 

She’s been seeing a physical therapist for her shoulder. Her ankle has healed on an intended timeline, not causing her much additional trouble. Her shoulder, on the other hand, has been a source of difficulty. Perhaps with everything else changing in her body, it can’t quite figure itself out. It wouldn’t be the only thing. 

She’s thirteen weeks along now. Almost at that second trimester mark. Almost at the point where not only will they be able to tell people, but they’ll have to. Namely their son. She’s not really showing per say, but she certainly feels bigger and tighter. Her chest is another matter entirely. 

So, to paint the picture, there she is; thirteen weeks pregnant with a man whose trust she shattered, shoulder hardly functional, sitting in the waiting room of her physical therapist in loose sweats and her baggiest tee shirt because nothing fits her boobs properly anymore, and who walks in? Or hobbles in, rather? Her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s best friend. 

---

33 for 💐 (YEAH THANKS I THOUGHT APRIL WAS FUNNY):

---

She orders a wine spritzer. April orders a cider. They sit in a corner booth and for a good few minutes, it’s awkward as hell. Neither of them really seems to know where to start. Which makes sense, because they didn’t exactly have any solid communication foundations to begin with. May is reminded, strangely, of the time Sue left her and Claudette to sort out their issues in the quiet room, right before the fire at Dispatch. Not that she thinks this will end the same way, obviously. 

“Listen,” May starts after the server brings them their drinks. “I’m sorry if I misunderstood things. I really got the sense you didn’t like me.”

April frowns. “I’m not sure how, honestly. I was trying pretty hard to get to know you.” 

“I think I definitely, uh, read things wrong,” May admits. “I’m definitely… Confused about things. But, come on, April. You have to admit, you were acting super competitive with me in class.”

Her brows furrow, hazel eyes giving the impression she’s sifting through memories. 

“Was I that bad?” She asks. 

“Yes,” May insists. “You disagree with everything I say. You compete over grades. When you did better than me on the criminology midterm exam, you literally said April always comes before May.” 

April’s cheeks redden. 

“Oh my god,” she mumbles.

“You did say it!” May reiterates. 

“No, I know,” April says. “I’m sorry, I just… God, it’s stupid. You thought I was serious?”

“Well, yeah?” 

April takes a long sip of her cider.

---

45 for darling Cranberry! 🦮:

---

Cranberry brings Chris the ball, pressing it eagerly into his hand. 

“Ew, so much slobber,” Chris complains, wiping his hand on his pants. Luckily, laundry day is tomorrow. 

“Well, you’re the one who keeps throwing it for her,” Buck says. He’s just been snapping photos to send to Eddie. 

“Gross, Cran,” Chris chides, and throws the ball again, a little absentmindedly. This time, the ball goes high. Higher than Buck would have liked. And at an awkward angle.

Cranberry twists her body as she jumps, catching the ball midair. When she comes back down, she fumbles, front left paw hitting the ground hard and buckling under her. She yelps and stumbles forward. 

“Cranberry!” Chris shrieks. 

Buck lurches forward to where they’re playing, straining his leg. 

Cranberry stands and stumbles a little again. She lifts her injured paw, favoring it. Tail tucked between her leg, she limps towards Buck, seeking comfort.

Buck lowers himself down as quickly as he can manage to examine her. 

“Are you okay, baby?” He asks. 

“Did she break her leg?” Christopher asks, bottom lip trembling.

Buck lifts Cranberry’s injured leg. It doesn’t look broken. He flexes it. Her elbow and shoulder move without resistance, but she fights him when he tries to straighten her wrist. It can move, it just hurts her. 

“Is she okay?” Chris asks again. 

Buck feels a pang of annoyance. 

“This is why I asked you not to throw it too high,” he grits out. 

Tears spill out from the boy’s eyes. 

“I-I’m sorry, Buck.” He blubbers. “I didn’t mean to hurt her!”

Buck clenches his jaw. He feels unreasonably angry and panicked. If Christopher had just listened this wouldn’t have happened. 

“I know it was an accident,” Buck manages. 

“I’m sorry, Cranberry,” Chris cries. He takes his glasses off to wipe his eyes. 

“I think it’s just twisted,” Buck says. “I’m going to bring her inside and call the vet to see if she needs to get checked out. Okay?”

[navsink]

to be gentle is a choice. | sukuna x sorcerer reader !

A/N: so brainfart moment!! im sure someone else will make this way better than i can but just for now hold on w me on this spontaneous moment of what ifs. im willing to challenge myself by making me write everything from sukuna's pov, yay me, nay brain! it's not gonna be cannon compliant tho, im shit at remembering lore.

tags: angst, lying, swearing, slightly suggestive, sukuna is a red flag by itself, guillible reader, sukuna pov, sukuna is bad at feelings, possesive behavior (?), unreliable narrator, tba.

wc: 536 words 2,882 characters

--

April 5th, 2016

How long has it been? Around ten-ish months since I've met her, that's a long time. A dragged out and long time since I have been lying to her. Since when do I care about lying? The thousand year old king of curses, turning into a mushy and limp sugar cube for some woman. It's not any woman in my defense, but it's still so annoying. Ever since we met I can't believe how easily I feel myself start to hover over her like some protective canine.

The longer I'm with her the more I dig myself deeper, a side of me is regretful, yet the other is enjoying it in the most deceitful way possible. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm so selfish, especially when it comes to her. Are these feelings normal?

I feel like I want to strangle her everytime she pouts, when she turns over her shoulder and the corners of her mouth drag out to form that chesire smilel that lures me into those glistening eyes.

How is it that the thing I hated the most- sorcerers, has me reconsidering my whole gig of taking over the world and killing sorcerers yada yada.

i think i might... love her

Humans are fragile beings, especially with how easily I can just press them against my index and thumb like a pesky diminute ant. If you ask me personally what humans mean to me, I'll answer honestly.

I hate them. Whiny. Powerless. Weak. Narsiscistic. and overall pesky little shits.

but.

if she were to ask me. God. I'd fold over and have my hand reach to her cheek, caressing it in the most gentle way possible, afraid of the fragility and ephemeral nature of the human species she's sadly a part of. I would've begrudgingly answered "Humans are complex to even have a general opinion on, but if I were to generalize them, I think they're evanescent and self servient. Yet you, transcend my definition, because to me, you're the most kind, precious of incalculable worth, piece of being to ever exist."

To which you of course, had to ask in one of the most vulnerable moments of mine. Giggling and peppering gentle kisses across my forehead like some weakling, not taking anything I say seriously per tradition. You're definitely not the obedient type, Uraume was horrorstruck when I mentioned every incident of tardiness, teasing, disrespectful banter and so on.

God that Uraume, she doesn't get you like I do, it makes me kind of euphoricly selfish. to be the only one who can understand you like this, the one who gets to hear you rant about the measly curses you're facing at the tech, or even hearing you heave my name when you're dry humping my lap.

tell me, my dear and lovely "girlfriend", would you also speak about me like this when I'm not around? would you love me still be here if you knew? even if im your biggest enemy? a menace to your kind? would all your friends try to seal me if they knew?

would you love me all the same when I'm the most cursed yet the most blessed when I'm with you?

...

Pg. 1 of Sukuna's Diary.

---

Shall we continue this as a series?

[blorbowhereartthoublorbo]

Mortimer Outfit Catalogue (Part 1)

hey there, stranger! have you ever wanted to see every single one of mortimer’s outfits? no? well, with me and @scummiezzz’s extensive knowledge on mortimer media, we’ve collected all mortimer fits known to the public into post format just for you! (but mainly for ourselves lol)

i’ll go over (and rate) each outfit from his animated appearances, while scummiezzz will do the same for his comic + video game appearances! let’s begin :]

10/10

this is baseline mortimer. he establishes a common look for him, with the cuffed, striped sweater, the high waisted pants, the fancy hat. the pleats on his pants are a nice touch as well.

2/10

the difference in whites haunts me. i hate his shoes made out of ashes. why couldn’t he have just worn black or brown shoes? 😭

only getting 2 points because i did giggle when i found him in the movie.

12/10

whoever decided his shirt should be unbuttoned should have gotten a raise 🙏

ALSO!!! HE HAS HIS TAIL 🥹🥹🥹

6/10

although this is a quick outfit for a gag, it’s interesting to me how they chose green with white stripes. they could have easily chosen blue, but they chose green. i like to believe this is a nod to his classic design, especially since this is mortimer’s first reboot appearance :)

3/10

this design is lacking. i like how they tinted the gloves yellow to go with the warm colors of his outfit, and that they’re establishing his color as orange, but the hat throws me off idk

10/10

oh my god. the colors!!! the striped tie! the fact that he lied in court in this outfit! this is the epitome of mortimer! ❤️❤️❤️

5/10

i mean… it tricked the judge lol, decent disguise

he even wears it again in “mickey’s april fools”!

3/10

it served its purpose, but realistically, he can’t pull off the shorts. also does he have PECS here the hell???

5/10

now this is more like it! there’s potential here. add a few patterns here, and a few bright colors there, and you got yourself an outfit made by mortimer!

-10000/10

rating this gag outfit low because i cringe too much when i see this clip 😬

4/10

he just had this outfit on hand i guess LMAO

8/10

a great retro design for mortimer!! here, the hat works with the pants. also!!!!!!!!! he has his whiskers and tail :)

7/10

HE’S SO DEAR TO ME,,, he looks all nice and toasty for winter!! i like how they still establish that orange is his color in this series. it’s so cute how he tucked the pants into the boots. it gives this design a fun shape.

5/10

i don’t know what it is, but he can pull off this look. rated it a 5 because we don’t know the colors of this outfit.

9/10

this is one of the first mortimers that comes to mind when i think of him, so it’s definitely an iconic look. the color palette goes so well together here. the turtleneck gives this a more casual vibe. looks like a modern revamp of the suits he used to wear in the comics. :] (ALSO love how they made the jacket cropped, that was such a good move on their part.)

7/10

ngl… this one’s pretty endearing to me. awwwww, the primary colors. he’s wearing cuffed jeans??! THE BOW TIE IS SO DORKY… i guess you could say it ties the whole outfit together :D (BOOOOOOOOOOO)

8/10

he’s on model, with his own personal emblem and a dramatic collar?? you know i gotta rate that high.

also reminder that mortimer somehow obtained (or even created???) this glove of inordinate power.

5/10

i’m pretty indifferent to this outfit, but i do appreciate how they gave him his own emblem (again) and made his number 36, which is a nod to the year his original short was released!

7/10

you can’t go wrong with armor!

2/10

strangely, this matches him… 🤔 /JOKING

3/10

i don’t know what it is, but i just can’t like this outfit. maybe it’s the big pupils combined with the round ears that makes him off kilter??? i don’t like the choice of colors, nor his bowtie here. it’s nice that they added cuffs to the ends of his sweater, tho! (and they gave it a stripe :,))

4/10

i definitely like the sailor’s hat, but the rest is just okay. (shrugs)

6/10

i like the frilly bits and the bowtie here. he’s at a ball, of course he would wear something formal! the collar is always a nice touch (so dramatic XD)

(link to part 2)

[agentmarcuspike]

okay so as i’m getting back into writing fanfic i’ve also been getting back into reading it, and oh my god are there a lot of talented people out there. i’ve mainly been consuming joel miller and the last of us stories, and i wanted to share with you some that have really made an impression on me, or that i’ve thoroughly enjoyed. so here here are my march/april ficrecs!!

(dividers by @saradika​) (header by me)

« ATROPHY » @yeyinde

joel miller x f!reader, written in 3rd person, 10k words, angst with a side of poetic smut 

It's his own fault, he thinks, for stuffing his grief in the same place he keeps his worry.

She wears her fatigue like its armour, wielding the brunt of her exhaustion like a shield.

There is no future outside of the way he fits inside of her, and this is as permanent as the blemishes he leaves on her pretty skin.

Maybe, he expected something different. For her to call this thing what it was, and then demand more of him, yell and scream and beg for the things he wouldn't give her—if only so he could break her heart into pieces, and force her to let go. To stop.

His heart doesn't stop, but a piece of it breaks off and lodges itself in his throat. He can't swallow. Can't breathe.

i seriously read this twice in one day. what the hell.

« TENDER / AND WHAT’S LEFT »  @moondirti​

joel miller x f!reader, 4.3k, smut and angst and everything you could wish for

Joel is a man of blunt lines and frayed edges, and though he seems especially bronze at this time of day, you know you can't touch him to feel the sun.

But he looked tired, even in his sleep.

« MOMENTS »  @charnelhouse​

joel miller x f!reader, 2k, dangerous smut

You and your willingness to offer up your body because to have Joel at all feels akin to owning a panther.

You think you’d be happy being attached to him, growing out of him. Addicted to the way he feels in your cunt. You want him to infect you. You think that’s what your sex is like. Joel and you infect each other until the other burns away.

You can only allow him to take you, dragging you like a violent tide and hope he’ll bring you to shore.

honorable mentions, by the same author: «darlin’» and «teacups»

« adjustments » @softlyspector​

joel miller x f!reader, 9.4k, fluff (and a lil smut as a treat)

i DEVOURED this, and thank GOD there’s a sequel: «settled»

« for the things they hold dear » @cruelfvkingsummer​

joel miller x f!reader, age gap, smutty..., mean mean man

But everything that was ripped away from him had bloody, ragged claw marks on them.

“I found us a cabin up north.”

cruel summer (chapter 1-3) @proxima-writes​

joel miller x f!reader, no outbreak, age gap

🔨🏡😒👙

« SPEAKEASY » @toxicanonymity​

joel miller x f!reader, 1.5k, smut smutty smut smut

🤠🍻🗣🎯

« 2002 » @wheresarizona​

joel miller x f!reader, pre-outbreak, 900 words, sexy AND adorable

💑💖🛋☔️

« what he didn’t do » @pedgeitopascal​

joel miller x divorced!reader, pre-outbreak, 4.9k, SLOW BURN ♡

🔧👕🥃💋

« stay in bed » (chapters 1-8) @psychedelic-ink​

joel miller x f!reader, tommy miller x unrequited reader, sloooow burn 

👬💗💃🗽🖼

« one thing missing »  (part 1-4) @joelscruff​

joel miller x f!reader, 16k and counting, friends to... lovers?, ellie!!!

⛺️😴👨‍👩‍👧🐏

« a safe haven » (chapters 1-5) @pedgeitopascal​

joel miller x f!reader, jackson era, ellie makes a friend

🐎👨‍👧🍻💃🕺🏻

« close your eyes » @lovers-liability​

joel miller x f!reader, angst AND smut, all you need is love

🌲❤️👫🌲

i might be adding to this list, and also making another one once i have more! in the meantime check out my ficrec tag!

[ultralightpoe]

Hi! This might be an odd request, but type o negative is one of my favorite bands and I think they’re so underrated. I was wondering if I could request a song fic with Aemond? Preferably “everyone I love is dead” or “wolf moon” but really any type o song if you find one you think fits :)

Everyone I Love Is Dead - Aemond Targaryen

Description: ---

Word Count:1268

Warnings: murder, suicide and shitty writing

Authors Note: Lmao, I rewrote this one 5 times and still hate it. I am so so sorry.

April requests open, go look at my page to see the event I have going on right now, especially if you love taylor swift.

Seems three years

Though maybe four

Someone drops dead

Whom I adore

You love someone

There will be grief

The kiss of death

Lips of a thief

He could still smell the smoke from that day. 

He could feel it burning his lungs everytime he inhaled, allowing the pain to take him when he closed his eyes and let his chest fall, coughing as if he was still there in the sky watching you fall rather than sitting across from his brother in the great hall. 

If he paid close enough attention he could hear Vhagars roar, the sharp scream you had released as your dragon whined. The clash of dragons fangs against the others bones, the sickening crunch and the devastated look on your face when Aemond reaches for you. 

He stops the memory there, too sickened to think of the rest of it, too hurt. 

It was terrible to love something, he had learned, to adore something so much that when it is taken away you throw up everything your guts allow and still beg the gods to take you too. 

He wanted to kiss you once more, to bring you back and hold you once more. What a sick joke. 

“Aemond. Darling.” His mother calls, and when he finally snaps himself back into the moment he sees her waiting patiently on the steps with her hand outstretched, his brother behind her snickering to Lord Baratheon. 

“Do ignore the moping Lord Baratheon. My dear brother is upset he had to kill his whore.” Aegon laughs, Helaena gasping in surprise before the Lord releases a boisterous laugh. 

His hands are clenching at his sides before he realizes it, the urge to remind his brother that he was wearing the crown because of him, because of what he did to……you.

“You’re not being fair.” You snipe, snatching Aemonds arm before he could escape the argument he had started, pulling him back to you. Chest to chest you pull on his neck to try and drag his eyes to your own but he fights back, not tearing his sight from the wall to your left. “This shouldn’t have to be-”

“You married me.” He interrupts, still refusing to look at you. “You begged me to marry you-”

“I ASKED you to marry me, which seemed fitting considering I was with child. YOUR CHILD.” You sneer, skin heating with embarrassment. You had remembered it to be far romantic and apart of you reminded yourself that Aemond was lashing out of fear and hurt. That he didn’t mean the words he said. 

But it still hurt for the love of your life to mock you. 

“Yes. Remind me of that failure again, why don’t you?” He seethes back, head whipping to face you finally. 

Maybe he sees the tears forming in your eyes, or maybe your face pulls him back. But the second his eye lands to your own his face falls and he reaches a hand out to touch your cheek. “Y/n-”

“You have chosen your side and I have chosen mine.” You mumble, taking a step back. “Let us hope the other gets  a quick death if this is how you wish it to be.”

“I will not kill you Y/n.”

“You say that now. But I know you. Like you said Aemond, I married you.”

A dusty stack

of photographs

Of times I've cried

But mostly laughed

Commit the past

Into blue flame

Acrid smoke

Cowardly shame

There had once been a painting of you both, hung above the fireplace. The empty wall where it once was always caught Aemonds eye whenever he entered. Tonight was no different. 

He had left once his brother started on another bottle of wine, choosing to hide away in his chambers instead. He had planned to read, maybe try and sleep, but once his eye caught the empty slot he was right back to where he started. 

He regretted throwing the picture in the fire, it felt like his soul had completely collapsed when the flames consumed it before he could get it out in time. The hollow feeling in his chest now was no better, just a gaping hole where his heart should be. 

It was heartbreaking that you were right. You had known Aemond, better than anyone ever had, you had known what he would do. 

The wind slapped against your skin harshly as you tore through the sky, your heart beating out of your chest while the sobs racked through you. The last thing you had seen before being cloaked within a cloud had been your brother's dragon, Arrax, falling into the ocean below. The golden scales caught in the last sunlight as he did so. 

Aemond. Of course it was Aemond. 

A bitter taste coated your tongue as the realization finally set in. Aemond had killed your brother, and you would be next. 

The cloud began lifting as the wings of your dragon flapped and a roar filled your ears, hair whipping around your face as the sunlight emerged only to be replaced with the large mouth of your husband's dragon. 

Vhagars neck wrapped around your dragons and a loud crunch was heard, a scream tearing through your lips as the body beneath you went limp and the wind starting slowing. Blood sprayed and your lovers face filled your vision, eyes wide as he reached to grab you, tears flying. 

For a moment you reached, but stopped, pulling your hand back and grabbing the reins tighter. You would die with your dragon. You would die a dragon riders death. 

At times I'm truly terrified

'Cause dope and booze

Don't help to hide

They're used to mask

A weakling's hurt

It's just like painting

Over dirt

Unlike Aegon, Aemond could never get rid of his pain through booze and whatever mushroom or green toxic the court gave him. It had been three years of numbness. 

They had celebrated him on his return, chanting his name as the news was announced. 

A goblet was placed into his hands within moments of entering the keep, he hadn’t known what was in it nor had he cared, before he placed it to his lips and chugged. Doing his best to wash down the acid that coated his mouth. 

They chanted for him, placing flower crowns on his head as he passed, waving green cloth as some in the back chanted on the whore and bastard's death. Your little brother….and you. 

If you had just grabbed his hand you would be he- no. You wouldn’t. You would have never forgiven him for your brother or your dragon. You would have hated him far more than you already did. Another wave of nausea filled him as he pushed himself to the wall to ground him. 

You were gone. You were gone. Gone gone gone gone gone gone. 

Another goblet was placed in his hand, Aemond laughing bitterly as he knocks the contents down. Gone gone gone 

Life's a game I cannot win

Both good and bad

Must surely end

The mirrors

Always tell the truth

I love myself

For hating you

It was far easier to hate you now. To hate you for choosing their side, to hate you for looking so amazing in the color green, to hate you for making him fall in love. If he hated you then maybe he could move on, save himself from despair. But that was a lie. 

He knew it. And as he lay in his bed for the final time he hoped to see you again. Just one more time……just one more…….

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 9

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"And that's how you come back from a suspension! Two goals and two assists for June Maxwell!" Andrew said.

"And look at that smile on her face! She has definitely missed it” Jacob added.

"That's the face of someone who loves football" Ben said, trying very hard not to smile. She was back. The June Maxwell they all enjoyed watching, was back. "Though they should give her the fifth goal and make it a hat-trick."

"It was an own goal, Chilly."

"I know, but…"

"I barely recognise you, Chilwell. You are saying nice things about Maxwell. Again!" Andrew laughed. "Anything you would like to share with us?"

"It's just that after seeing what happened in her last game, I realized we should spread more positivity instead of negativity. I still think she is overrated and has a lot of work to do to be as good as you all say she is…"

"That's more you" Jacob chuckled.

"But there has been so much hate everywhere and especially online, that I felt I was adding fuel to the fire and that wasn't sitting well with me. Football players have to deal with a lot of pressure already, and sometimes we forget that they are human beings with real feelings just like anyone else."

"They all are, Chilly. They all are. Well said.”

"So yeah… I may start to go a bit softer on her. But just a teeny-tiny bit" he laughed. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That was the last interview, June. You can go shower."

"Thank you" she smiled, starting to walk towards the changing room.

"Maxwell! Wait!"

"Chilwell?" she said, turning aroud. "What are you doing down here?"

"I wanted to speak with you."

"Again?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, again. I wanted to congratulate you for today's game, you played really well."

"April's Fools was last week, Chilwell."

"I'm not joking, June. I'm being honest."

"Sure" she chuckled.

"I am. I even got you something."

"Something like what? A present?"

"Kind of."

"Oh my God, another Kinder egg?" she laughed. "Is this your new way of bullying me? Giving me treats to make me feel as if I was a dog? Wait, is this your revenge because I called you dog?"

"It's just a nice gesture, June."

"You and being nice with me don't go together."

"They may start to" he shrugged. "Are you taking it or not?"

"Is it poisoned?"

"June…" Ben said, rolling his eyes.

"Ok, ok… I'm taking it. Thank you."

"You're welcome" he smiled. 

"Wait, no. I know what your new plan is. You want to send my fitness to hell by feeding me chocolate."

"Dear God, Maxwell" he sighed.

"I was just teasing you, Chilwell" she laughed. "Thank you. For this and for what you said on tv. Someone from the team told me."

"You're welcome. And I meant it. I'm not going to stop stating my facts…" he smirked. "But I won't be as mean or ruthless. I promise."

"Ok, good. I... I should probably go shower, I don't want to get cold and risk getting sick now that I'm back."

"You also happen to stink."

"What?"

"Just stating a fact" Ben shrugged, trying very hard to hide a smile.

"You… whatever. See you around, Chilwell. And thank you for the present."

"You're welcome, Maxwell. Again. See you around."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"What is that?"

"Uh?"

"That toy" Lauren said, pointing at the little lion June was playing with.

"Oh, it's from a Kinder egg."

"You have Kinder eggs? Where? I want one!"

"I don't have any. Someone gave me this one."

"Someone? Who?"

"A fan. They wanted to cheer me up."

"Well, they've been very successful at it, because you haven't stopped smiling since we got into the bus."

"What?" June chuckled.

"You've been smiling like an idiot."

"Yeah, sure."

"You have. Was he cute?" Lauren asked.

"Who?"

"The fan who gave you the Kinder egg. Because you have the smile of someone who is thinking about her crush" she smirked.

"It was a kid, Lauren" June said, feeling her cheeks get warm.

"Did the kid come with a dad? Brother? Uncle?"

"It was just a kid, ok?"

"Ok, ok. No need to get mad. But I thought we were friends."

"And we are."

"Friends tell each other when they fancy someone."

"I don't fancy anyone" June chuckled.

"You… ok, fine" Lauren sighed. "You don't fancy anyone."

"I don't."

"And I said ok. Will you wake me up when we are getting close home? I want to take a nap."

"I will, don't worry."

"Thank you. Night night, June."

"Night night, Lauren" she smiled. 

"Friends tell each other when they fancy someone."

"I don't fancy anyone."

Because she didn't fancy anyone, did she? And especially not Ben Chilwell. 

Yes, him showing up today and giving her the chocolate egg had made her feel all fuzzy inside. It had been a very cute gesture, but it was just because it brought really good memories from her childhood, of her dad always buying her one after her Sunday games.

And the other day when he had told her that he cared about her, her heart had skipped a beat, yes. But just because it had caught her by surprise.

Though while she had been suspended and bored as hell, she had kept thinking about Ben telling her he would never date her, his words coming back and making her feel… weird. Kind of disappointed.

And then, of course, was the fact that her mind would randomly go back to their make out session on New Year's. To when she had kissed him. Twice. Thoroughly enjoying it. 

And then…

"Fuck."

"What?" Lauren asked, already half asleep while her head rested on June's shoulder.

"Nothing, nothing. Go back to sleep."

But it was definitely something, because June had just realized that she did fancy someone. She fancied Ben freaking Chilwell.