#especially in a position where you don't know how people feel about being queer

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys!

Okay so I've gotten a lot of asks about JKR, since she's been extra terfy lately. ( @lonely-parrot @mushroom-enby and many anons) Basically asking me what I think about the marauders fandom, talking to people about it, etc.

I think that we have to acknowledge that being part of the Marauders fandom does cause some harm.

Why? Because we are, however unwillingly, talking about and giving popularity to characters created by a horribly bigoted and harmful person.

We can't just stick our heads in the sand and pretend that isn't true. Not in the days of algorithms that respond every time you search 'Sirius Black.'

However, I also think this fandom, and fandom in general, has been helpful to many queer people in ways I can't even begin to describe. For so many queer people, fanfiction and fandom is where you begin to explore those feelings you think are 'weird' or 'different,' and the people you meet through fandom are the first people you meet like you. The way characters are depicted in fanfiction can be the first time you see a character that you truly relate to, and I know that I am not exaggerating when I say I owe my life to fanfic writers, because I used it as a coping mechanism as a teen when I had nobody to talk to at all.

I think that we just have to be conscious of consuming fandom, especially Harry Potter fandom, ethically. And I have to say that I am NOT perfect at this. I have been to the Harry Potter theme park. I own Harry Potter merch. In my childhood, my entire Christmas list was Harry Potter things. So please know that I'm not speaking from some holier-than-thou position here.

But as things get worse and worse, we need to be even more conscious about what we are consuming, and how we are consuming it.

So here's my opinion on things we need to do:

Do not consume any new content by or related to JKR. This includes the new TV show.

If you want old content (the books), buy them secondhand. Do not give your money to the bookstores that give money to her. Give back to local secondhand shops.

Etsy has a lot of amazing independent artist-created merch, look there!

When people talk about the books, do NOT shrink away from their flaws. Mention them. Talk about the issues. Talk about the house elves and the goblins and the ridiculously racist names.

Same with JKR. When people talk about the books, the TV show, the videogame, etc, TALK about JKR's transgressions. Don't let people be willfully ignorant.

Make fandom a safe space. The world is an awful place right now and I think one of the reasons I, personally, am okay with being part of this fandom is because it is a safe place for me and so many others. DO NOT change that by becoming part of the problem and spewing hate. Cut the shit with the ship wars and the transphobia and the 'I don't like when writers...' Just stop.

Keep making your characters gay. And trans. And ace. And POC. And all of the things JKR is so scared of.

Yeah. These are just my thoughts. Feel free to comment (politely) below!

[genderqueerdykes]

i love you so much i love the way u talk abt trans men and our struggles i makes me feel so seen especially bc youre older than me, i want to be understood , keep posting please

THANK YOU !!

i appreciate that. i feel like nobody (aside from some very cool bloggers on here) is advocating for trans men anymore. like unless its a trans man talking about these issues, it just doesn't happen. nobody advocates on our behalf for the most part. everyone just leaves us to the weeds. we have to help each other because most people just don't even understand what trans men and mascs want. like it's absolutely positively insanity inducing

when i was in college, at my pride group, there were just. no conversations about trans men. at all. in fact. at the time i was beginning to realize i was a trans man but i couldn't find support or acknowledgement of transmasculinity anywhere. whenever i would participate in the conferences, and large group meetings for LGBTQ communities in our part of the country... I was forced into queer women's groups. i did not identify as a woman or bigender at that time. i asked them where a female-to-male genderqueer person should go, and they put me in every queer women's group. i was not being considered trans. i was being viewed as a cis butch lesbian.

i was fucking pissed.

i learned the word transgender and what it meant and the example that was given was male to female, which was informative. i heard a lot of things about feminine transition, drag queens, cis gay male culture, bisexuality, pansexuality, and even asexuality. i want you to know that my college's pride group in 2011 - 2012 was more accepting of asexual people than trans men, which is insane for that time frame. i was actually allowed to help with a presentation on asexuality

i had to go online and research trans men, though. there were none to be found in the group that were at least out and able to talk to each other. we were all very stealth and nervous. my long term friends there ended up being gay men, lesbians, and a transfem agender person. i never met a single trans man there. it was heartbreaking.

i am tired of participating in transmasculine silence. i will not participate in self-erasure. trans men are trans. we're men. we're mascs. we NEED support, community, and care. we need to learn how to access transition resources, to comfort each other, to laugh with each other, to help each other find what clothes make us feel like ourselves, to say each other's names and pronouns, to see one's self in the other.

we need people who will protect us from misgendering. we need to be able to talk about our unique issues. we need to be able to talk about how yes, we experience misogyny, but also that transandrophobia is literally a thing. we need people who will stand up for femme trans men and gay trans men. we need people who understand that it's not okay to call every single trans man a confused butch lesbian and assume that they're a queer cis woman. trans men can be butch lesbians and that's okay. but you can't rip away a trans man's manhood for the sake of being a catty asshole. it's misgendering. it's transphobia. care about being transphobic. transphobia hurts all trans people no matter where it's directed. we all lose when you opt to deny trans men and mascs the right to community.

i am transmasculine. i am a trans man. i love being a trans man. i'm not ashamed. i'm not going back in the closet. i love my transmasculine brothers and siblings. i will not silence them. silencing them is a disservice to us all. i refuse to do that to us.

thank you for sending this ask. stay safe, take care of yourself, you're an important part of the LGBTQ community, don't let anyone take that from you.

[gayedmundo]

honestly for me, the frustrating thing isn't that people like buck and tommy as a couple. i don't personally get it, but to each their own! it's a pretty blank canvas of a relationship right now that you can project things onto and i know people are just excited about buck being in his first relationship with a man!

the frustrating thing is that people can't see the writing on the wall with very deliberate narrative positioning that is spelling out to everyone that tommy is not meant for buck. 911 isn't a subtle show and this is a crystal clear example of how any piece of media would write a temporary plot device relationship leading up to the endgame romance, but for some reason so many people can't see that and THAT is making me feel a bit crazy. because people will literally act like you are somehow "disrespecting a queer character/relationship" if you point out that it is being written as a plot device relationship. it's not disrespectful and tommy won't be offended by being called a plot device, this is fiction! it's just being familiar with how storytelling functions!

i want people to understand that eddie isn't just conveniently showing up in every buck and tommy scene out of his own free will, the writers put him there. it isn't a coincidence that in most of the scenes between them where eddie isn't there, he is mentioned in some way. tommy and their relationship isn't under-developed because they "don't have time" because if the writers wanted to prioritize that and progress their relationship, they would've done that more by now, even in small ways. it isn't a coincidence that tommy didn't dress up in an 80s theme while eddie matched with buck, the writers chose to contrast them deliberately. it isn't a coincidence that they wrote the episode where buck and tommy kiss for the first time in a way that leaves you wondering whether or not tommy was really the one buck wanted all along, especially with how aware the writers are of fans shipping buck and eddie for years now.

everyone is free to ship what they want! regardless of whether buck and tommy end up together, it's fine to write fanfic and think they're cute together. it's fine if you want to multiship, fandom is yours to engage with as you wish! i get that going against The Popular Ship and getting harassed for it has made some people want to commit to buck and tommy as a relationship, which bums me out a little as a buddie shipper but i do empathize with that perspective. however, outside of fandom dynamics, i do think understanding literary devices and the way that narratives are told is worth refreshing yourself on if you find yourself getting upset with people saying tommy is a plot device.

[wrenswreath]

It gets really hard to be in this fandom sometimes. a lot of y'all are misogynistic, and I understand that's often not a conscious decision, but rather a result of social conditioning, and I understand that you can have your "preferences" or would rather seek out fics that you can relate to more, but god, it's so draining to be in such a male-focused fandom.

I do try my best to bring more attention to the girls, I reblog a lot of sapphic content, I read almost exclusively about wlw pairings, I kudos and comment, the fics I recommend to people are all focused on women. Basically, I show my support to creators of women-focused content, because it encourages them to continue creating such content.

I myself am a queer Indigenous girl, and, to put it bluntly, I'm sick of the lack of representation in a space that is supposed to be inclusive. Of course queer men should be represented, but when you prioritise representing them over queer women (especially including queer women of colour), you really should take a step back and look at what kind of message that sends.

Now, I would like to make it clear that I am not forcing anyone to write about content purely for the sake of representation. Fanfic writers write for free, and I am grateful for all the work they contribute to this fandom. If you do not think you can put in the enthusiasm needed to write a fanfiction about a certain pairing, then don't write one. A fic written not for your own joy will inevitably just read as forced representation.

That being said, however, I do think people should look deeper into why they don't want to read/write content about women. Unpacking internalised misogyny can be difficult, I get it. It's hard to admit you might have biases against a minority, especially when you think of yourself as a progressive person. I've been there, I had a bunch of ideas about how I should look, dress, act, etc. that were all really just ideas that were socially conditioned into me by a patriarchal society.

I doubt the people who this is targeted to will ever actually read this, let alone take what I've said to heart. Most people who will read this are probably the ones who do value the girls in the fandom (and not just say they do). But, regardless, I needed to get it off my chest.

I'm just gonna log off anywhere where I see fandom content for the next week, so if you want to talk to me I won't see your messages till then. I try to keep my surroundings positive, and when I feel such negativity I know it's time to take a break and focus on things that are good for my mental health.

[lastoneout]

Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)

And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.

I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".

Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!

Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.

So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.

(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)

[tempestimes]

Last week I was going to write an essay on the symbolic parallels of the imagery in Ave Mujica to Revolutionary Girl Utena aka The Lesbian Anime ever, but right now I'm also just disappointed by episode 11 because of. Everything. It feels weird to make so many references to such an iconic queer anime then slap the "and they were related !!" thing on a major (albeit unhealthy) ship. To be clear, I'm not an Uisaki shipper and I never saw Uisaki as endgame, mainly because Uika's obsession over Sakiko is far from healthy and is clearly not romanticized or portrayed in a positive light. It clearly has an impact on Uika's ability to function and maintain other relationships and obviously Saki is not happy about this. But at the same time, there were so many connections I could draw between the imagery in Uika and Saki's relationship and Utena and Anthy's.

The MV for Imprisoned XII is packed with Utena imagery:

The coffin filled with roses a girl is sleeping in.

2. The endless stairway up to "eternity" (which is supposedly some kind of freedom, but that freedom is only an illusion constructed by the people who control the greater stage play)

3. The setting of the bird-cage like garden.

And then there's the references/imagery inside of the actual show itself.

Sakiko reading Demain, which has this iconic line about a bird breaking out of its shell, which is referenced repeatedly in Utena.

2. The two cups of coffee Uika always makes for herself and Sakiko, and the cups of tea Anthy and Utena share. (The "I poisoned the tea" and the "Well, I poisoned the cookies" bit in RGU ugh UGH)

3. The theatrical and stage play nature of Ave Mujica itself and the artificial world/theatricality of RGU (perhaps best illustrated by the Shadow Play or the moving architecture much like stage pieces in the film Adolescence of Utena).

Additional note: the line between Gothic dolls and fairytale princes/princess ough ough.

Additional additional note: Uika was designed to be fairly ambiguous in gender, which really interests me as this relates to Utena Tenjou and her masculine gender presentation as a way to be more "prince-like" but also her insistence she is "still just a girl" wearing a boy's uniform.

Additional note to the additional additional: Y'all remember all the fanart of Sakiko stabbing Uika with the "you could never be my prince, because you are a girl" line, right? Y'all know that's a direct reference to Utena right?

There's probably more I'm missing out on but these makes me so conflicted about how Uika and Sakiko's relationship is portrayed.

Both Uika and Utena have this interest in/curiosity for a girl (Sakiko, Anthy) who is trapped in a patriarchal system where she is at once idolized and villainized (along with other factors playing into the complicated nature of each of their situations, Sakiko's being class and Anthy's being race). But whereas Utena takes that scene she saw as a child of Anthy's suffering and decides to become a prince/play into gender roles to save Anthy from cycles of abuse (something Anthy can only step out of on her own later on), Uika - being a lonely and isolated child- built up an idealized image of the girl who her sister got to experience joy with, the girl who had all that she was denied, the girl who could give her meaning, and ended up becoming incredibly and deeply obsessive over someone who was ultimately her family member. I could go deeper into some of the Sakiko and Anthy parallels, but it is just so heavy.

I don't think I need to go into detail about how fucked up is (especially because of fucking Akio Himemiya and what he did to Anthy), but yeah. It just feels like a slap in the face to make so many (what felt to like to me) clear references to an iconic queer anime about disrupting cycles of abuse, the patriarchy, and victims of abuse and assault and then also add on the "and they're related and if you thought Uika's obsessiveness was bad you don't know the HALF of it"

Maybe I'm just way out there for making all of these connections between Ave Mujica and RGU, but this connection I made early on in the show definitely impacted how I felt about episode 11 and the Imprisoned XII MV. If you like toxic yuri, then you do you. This just isn't my cup of tea and I'll leave it at that.

[anxietycheesecake]

I'm sorry that you're being attacked and blocked for having valid criticisms. It's really weird to be new to this fandom and watch it go from a fairly positive space to fans being as nasty to each other as Star Wars fans in such a short period of time, especially when the crumbs people are cobbling together and calling a canonized ship is what we scrape for in other fandoms with ships we know will never be canon and we KNOW we're stretching the material we're given. I love my queerplatonic ships, found families, and platonic soulmates. I can absolutely enjoy Nandermo through that lens, but the gaslighting and mental gymnastics here is raising such a fucking eyebrow and you don't deserve to feel like you've done something wrong for recognizing it.

Being allosexual or alloromantic is as valid as being asexual or aromatic and it's actually so fucking unchill to conflate being gay or pan with being ace or aro just because they are all under the queer umbrella.

Ace =/= celibate, but half this fandom thinks Guillermo is a virgin and I can't help but think that's being bundled into the hot takes that are coming out right now when it's canon that he's uncomfortable due to being in the closet and his Catholic upbringing. Yes, he could be ace, but that means at best were batting 1/4 for aroace Nandermo.

Nandor has sex with Gail onscreen and is very clearly not ace. The vampires would have MINIMALLY mentioned Guillermo being a virgin and wouldn't have eagerly asked about his sex life in Atlantic City if they thought he was one and they practically have radar for it. He was panicking over Jeremy being a virgin and having brought him into the house and the only thing that saved the guy was losing his virginity. Nandor and Guillermo are both romantic in romantic relationships, and both are expressive about it and tell others they love them.

When you speedrun the entire series and the notable interviews with fresh eyes and not over a stretch of years the leap between 'My Nan- Master' vs. best friends, cuddling a Nandor puppet at night, the I'll make you a vampire speech vs. the vibe in the warrior speech is SO visible and it fits perfectly with Simms' public discomfort with fans shipping Nandor and Guillermo. He is openly uncomfortable with them being in a romantic relationship or having sex with each other and uses every homophobic gaslighting tactic in the playback when speaking about it.

“No, I do think there’s a small subset of very vocal people on Twitter who are like ‘We want to see Nandor and Guillermo hook up,’ and we’re always like, I think their love is bigger and more profound than that,” Simms said. “And also do you really want to see that? Do you?”

This is literally how straight people talk when they're uncomfortable with queer shit. What haven't we seen in this show other than that? Is Nadja and Laszlo's love lesser for it?

“Times that we’ve talked about it and explored it, the power dynamics seem so problematic,” Simms continued. “I mean, that’s his boss.”

In a show where the main couple started with nonconsensual sex (it's still noncon if it turns out that they could have had sex without hypnosis) and Laszlo fucks Colin Robinson after raising him for a gag. Sure, keep telling yourselves that the power dynamic is what makes Simms uncomfortable.

"I mean, it's a nice thought, for some...I don't know about these guys" Kayvan says as he nods toward Simms.

I've seen the Harvey interviews and talking heads from earlier seasons on the subject of Nandermo. The 2024 panel couldn't have been more different, and Harvey seemed completely subdued when the others were discussing Nandermo fanart and them being a ship.

This isn't a person who deserves applause for queer representation and it seems toxic af that Harvey has been stuck in a workplace where he has to hear this drivel when he's openly gay. Yes, I am side eyeing the fuck out of this and it's not because I'm crying over wanting my blorbos to smooch.

You can actually have a romantic pair not kiss or fuck or say I love you without pulling a very clear 'no homo.' That would have been totally fine, but they didn't do that. Copy and paste that scene into anything starring Andy Samberg, or literally anything bro centric and tell me it's a romantic love confession. Or rather, try taking it off tumblr and see if anybody thinks it isn't deep platonic male friendship.

It's okay for people to be upset when they've been hoodwinked. It's okay to separate fanon from canon and still enjoy your ships. But ffs stop gaslighting each other and saying non-romance is romance or that non-romance has more worth than romance and that people are shallow for not valuing it when that's not the problem people have with this, and when that isn't the bill of good audiences we're sold in earlier seasons.

The call is coming from inside the house it shouldn't be.

(Also SO sorry for how long this was).

Never apologize for articulating this better than I ever could. I'm too lazy to look for all the recipes I know are out there, so most of the shit I say is like "source: trust me bro"; I'm glad someone else did it.

The aspec thing makes me so mad because, as a writer, I'm always going out of my way to properly and respectfully represent aspec folks. Like, I've got two novels starring an ace woman and an aromantic man. Do I deserve a medal for that? Of course not! It should be normal. But it's kind of infuriating that people are willing to give aspec rep credit to a show just because it made two male characters stay platonic after teasing their relationship for years and call me aphobic for pointing out that's not the case.

[akkpipitphattana]

i always headcanonned all fk characters as switches but now i realize we've only ever seen firsts character portrayed as top and khaotungs as bottom yknow with the famous thrusting in ofs and kantbison red room scene. even if they had different dynamic it wasn't explicitly portrayed why is that? i wish we could see a change in the bl industry

oh yeah, it's definitely a thing in the bl industry where they classify one as the top and one as the bottom with zero nuance or change from series to series, and i think that's part of why top/bottom discourse can get so aggressive in the bl fandom. it's almost always the bigger/taller/more "masc" guy that gets the top role and it pushes such a problematic notion about how gay couples "should" interact and it's deeply annoying! especially because people in fandom will then get so attached to these ideas and the way they act about it is like. straight up mean and gross. like why do you care so much that some people think that first's characters occasionally bottom? why is that such a big deal for you?

and in a way it does circle back to the issue with people insisting on bison being a sub despite the fact that he, canonically and explicitly, is a dom. again, people have these fucked up ideas about the way gay couples should be and because bison is smaller and cuter and more feminine and we have also seen him explicitly bottoming, he has to be the sub. which is just extremely reductive and just repackaged misogyny and homophobia! (which, i've actually been thinking since the pilot trailer about how the inherent misogyny that comes from those assumptions also kind of feeds into the way misogyny was replaced from taming to the heart killers and the way those dynamics manifest in the show. like there's something VERY interesting about the lucentio/bianca couple aka the more "traditional" couple having their typical "top" as the man of the couple and their typical "bottom" play the woman vs the katherine/petruchio having the "top" playing the woman! there's a commentary going on there, i think, but unfortunately i haven't gotten to really writing anything about that cause usually there's so much else going on in the show that i kind of forget about that aspect sdkjfsdf)

that all being said, i also don't think fk's characters are necessarily forced into those boxes because of the industry at large, if that makes sense? like i feel like they're one of the few branded pairs that aren't put into those roles just because first is taller/bigger/more masculine. because the thing is, with akkayan we never actually see them having sex on screen, so we can't actually know for sure the positions they use. and while we see it with kantbison and sandray, i also think context is important.

with sandray, i think ray is just meant to be a character that has his preferences, and on top of that he's spoiled and sand is always going to give him whatever he wants. those things are part of their characters even without getting into their sexual dynamics, and one thing about jojo is that sex in his shows are actually a lot deeper than people realize - so, it makes sense that with that dynamic in mind, sand would be more "the giver" and ray "the taker" when it comes to sex, so to speak. and then with kantbison, i again think it's meant to play at the fact that bison is the dom. i think bison in a lot of ways is MEANT to seem contradictory to that kind of idea, and i also think he kind of gets off on that idea. like, i was actually talking to may @deliriousblue about this earlier, but i think it's why we see bison bottom, why we see him lean into his cuteness, why we see him call kant daddy. he likes leaning into the idea of a traditional sub while actually being the one in control! it's like a power thing for him.

i also just think firstkhao have been very lucky in the fact that in all three of the series that they've been main couples for, they've worked with very progressive and very queer directors. i mean, golf, who directed the eclipse, is trans and an activist and i believe used to be a member of parliament before they were forced out, if i'm remembering that correctly? and then jojo directed both only friends and the heart killers and jojo has never been shy about making his characters as queer as possible beyond just the aspect of having sex with the same gender, yknow? he also has never been shy about making his characters switches, either, or having them talk openly about positions, so again, i don't really view fk as being necessarily stereotyped - more that jojo specifically is a director that will use those stereotypes and the way the industry perceives things to his advantage, if that makes sense. like i think about how he chose to use firstkhao and forcebook in only friends for sandray and topmew, and then had neomark, who were an unbranded pair, for the couple that didn't end up together. like people complained about it, but again, i think it was jojo using the way the industry is set up to his advantage while also challenging those norms in other aspects of the show.

this got like. aggressively long for no reason, but basically i do agree that there should be a change in the way the industry puts their branded pairs in boxes, but i honestly feel like fk are one of the few that aren't ACTUALLY in that box, if that makes sense sdkjfhskf

[theforesteldritch]

This is going to be hard to articulate properly, but I feel like there's a strange phenomenon where some people will amplify intersex people on the topic of IGM and condemn IGM without issue (which, to be clear, in and of itself, is a good thing) but then are entirely ignorant to, sometimes because of genuine ignorance, but too often due to the equivalent of plugging their ears and going 'lalala I can't hear you', the issue of medical abuse when it comes to older intersex people. I saw someone once agreeing with how horrific and damaging IGM is- but then proceeded to essentially accuse intersex people of lying about our experiences of medical abuse in our teens and later, often when it comes to puberty. And unfortunately, a lot of this that I've seen comes from other queer people.

Which just. Is incomprehensible to me, mostly because I've lived through medical abuse based off of being intersex, but I think it speaks to the way people view victims of oppression and abuse. They want to be seen as allies, because they know that in terms of optics, it's bad to be silent on the oppression of other marginalized people, but they don't want to examine or even consider their own underlying biases and their intersexism.

Saying 'yeah, I'm against the medical abuse of babies', but ignoring what older intersex people face is seen as fine, because babies are almost treated as the perfect victims: victims of this systemic oppression, yet also fundamentally don't understand this oppression yet, because, well, they're infants. Babies are unable to express themselves (at least until said babies grow up), and so while everyone can agree that hurting babies is bad, those babies can't push back against other biases against intersex people that someone might have. You can, and have to, speak for babies, because they can't speak for themselves, but a baby also can't challenge intersexist beliefs the same way an older or adult intersex person can. It's easy to stand up for a group that can't tell you you also have the capacity to harm us.

And so when an older intersex person says, 'hey, this is medical abuse that I went through because I'm intersex', that statement is suddenly treated with doubt, especially when it someone challenges someone's worldview. 'I was forced on HRT as a teen and that was bad' becomes uncomfortable to condemn, because that's seen as something that could challenge, say, their experiences and access to HRT, and they're unwilling to think critically and look at that from a nuanced and deeper perspective: they see our fight against oppression as a challenge to their fight, ignoring that our underlying goals align: bodily autonomy and the right to informed, non-coercive consent. They can only see the issue from the perspective of someone who, say, wants to ban HRT, because they don't want to budge an inch to anything that 'validates' that take; they can only see 'medical abuse that I went through was bad and shouldn't happen' as 'See, this is why HRT is always bad and why this should be banned,' even though the same people who want to ban and restrict HRT also want the freedom to continue to abuse intersex people. It's a fundamentally defensive position that throws intersex people to the curb because people don't want to acknowledge and make space for nuance; it's considered too 'difficult'. 'I went through something bad because it stripped me of my bodily autonomy' is seen as 'I went through something bad and so I want to strip your bodily autonomy', and this fundamental misunderstanding and this caving to internalized bias against intersex people becomes a tool to attempt to try to better a perisex person's own material conditions on the backs of intersex people. It of course doesn't work, we're all crabs in a bucket fighting for air, but people don't seem to understand that, or they just don't care.

No one is immune to intersexism. You don't get to claim to be an ally when you'd try to drown the other crabs in the bucket to try and hope of being able to get more access to the air. But people don't want to confront or examine the fact that they're someone capable of harm, someone capable of expressing hurtful beliefs. And so it devolves into attempts to delegitimize anything anyone who tells you that you are in fact being hurtful.

[genderqueerdykes]

As an AMAB Transmasc who’s also transfem it’s just infuriating that people can be so cruel about us and about AFAB Transfems

as an intersex transfem & transmasc person, i wanted to say from the bottom of my heart that i absolutely despise how people treat you, and AFAB transfems. the entire point of the trans community is that we DON'T CARE about what genitals strangers have or were born with. but instead, we've turned it around and become so obsessed with genitals that we force EACH AND EVERY TRANS PERSON to disclose what genitals they have in order to be "allowed" to identify as trans.

like think about it. i was assigned male at birth. then my biological sex marker was switched to female, and i was forced on estrogen. as someone who realized it was transmasculine first and had to struggle to be seen as masculine and a man, how does your situation offend me at all? you're going through the exact same thing. you don't relate to cis masculinity or manhood. why do i care about what genitals or gender marker you were born with? i was assigned male at birth and identify as transmasc. being intersex is not what gives me "permission" to identify this way.

you're not "stepping on the toes" of AFAB and intersex transmascs. you're showing people that gender is so complicated that even people assigned a gender at birth can be divorced from that gender due to societal or personal factors. people forget that assigned gender at birth doesn't define how that person experiences gender in practice. if you feel that you are transitioning into or have had to transition into masculinity, then i believe you. you are. i don't know what you're experiencing. i have no right to tell you what your experience is. and no one else does, either

people are especially harsh on AFAB transfems because of misogyny. like it all boils down to misogyny. people DESPERATELY want to treat AFAB people like shit for any reason. by any means necessary. and of course, with that person identifying as feminine and/or a woman, that compounds it and makes it worse. people just let their misogyny run free and attack and insult that person and tell them they're too stupid to understand what they're experiencing like. people who behave this way: you're not slick. we can tell that you're wildly misogynistic.

you being transfem shouldn't cancel out your transmasculinity, either. i know people must look at you and just straight up ignore your transmasculinity, but they don't have the right to. you are allowed to be both transmasc and transfem at once, not that you need my permission. i hate that people are forcing you into a position where you can't even express yourself in the queer community without people literally attacking you and forcing you to divulge your assigned gender at birth.

i really need to stress that, again, we are literally the "we don't care what genitals you have/were born with" community... and now people are literally FORCING strangers to divulge what genitals they have. people are NOT concerned about the gendered experience you've gone through growing up. they're concerned about your genitals. and its fucking disgusting. i'm sorry you have to go through this. as an intersex transfemasc person, you have all of my support, and then some. y'all aren't hurting anyone. people are hurting you, and it's fucked that they just don't care.

[enbyman]

About the "love loses" discourse

One thing that enlightened me about this subject was realizing that people who don't think twice before declaring love a revolutionary feeling probably don't understand how to reject love it can be liberating. Not only for the aspec community, but also for neurodivergent people and anyone else who has been dehumanized for not feeling love properly or not feeling love at all. Believe me, rejecting society's idea of love is as liberating as changing the world through love. Considering love as this inherently potent and revolutionary force is not good for anyone. But it's terrible specifically for people who have been hurt in the name of love.

Okay, love is special to you. All good. Take it and transform the world your way. Just don't impose it on everyone. Because not everyone has this wonderful relationship with love. Not in a society that dictates how we should feel and punishes us if we don't follow the golden rules. Not in a world where people use a theoretically positive feeling to hurt other people.

Respect loveless people. Listen to us. You cannot change the world by neglecting and throwing away the parts of humanity that you don't like or aren't like you. Our criticism of love is not the demerit of your love.

(And before someone say "BUT LOVE WINS HAVE THIS HISTORICAL VALUE–" meu anjo i know I study my own community, thank you very much. I know about all this, that's not the problem. We are not denying this historical value or importance. "Love loses" is a response to having love imposed on us, especially in times of pride. Where even companies make it seem like being queer is all about “love wins”. When, it is not true at all.

And to those who are suggesting "platonic love wins" or any alternative, please go read the definition of loveless again ☠️)

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

TW: sensitive topics

Adam slowly becomes more tolerate and less misogynistic over time via osmosis but won't admit it and instead hides it.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about the pink tax until he's sent out to get period products for Reader and Lute, only to realise that his cost of his shopping just doubled in price from just one pack.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about not being welcomed to normally male occupied spaces until he's playing late night online and hears a woman join only to leave after five minutes because everyone kept harassing them.

Adam hounds a girl for her number, thinking that he's so smooth for getting it in the end, but then decided to lose it after watching a film with Reader and Lute where it showed a girl terrified of what would happen if she didn't give a guy her number and hears Reader and Lute, two very capable women, talk about how they've been in similar positions.

Adam has done a lot of thinking lately.

Personally, I'd like to think that Heaven, while flawed, is above some of the nonsense like the pink tax. I do still think catcalling and being harassed happens, probably mainly in result to a lot of men modeling Adam's behavior.

But once he gets with you and you start calling him on his shit, and therefore Lute gets more comfortable calling him out, and especially after the period simulator, he's more aware of certain things.

I feel like eventually he'd ask you if this is how bad it is now, what did you do when you were alive? When you had to work constantly, sometimes 2 jobs at a time, just to afford basics. That's when you tell him you didn't really have a choice but to suck it up. That you weren't allowed to get a hysterectomy, you couldn't take sick days just for a period, and that most doctors wouldn't believe you anyway.

Especially if you're a trans person this is a big foot in the door to explaining how poorly women and queer people are treated. Hit em with the fact that religious nuts use Adam and God as examples for their behavior and he's going to feel physically sick. I think he'd have to take a few days to just be by himself and really think about how he acts and how people interpret that.

From there it's a slow build up to correcting his behavior. And it's not always gonna be easy. He's going to be defensive, he'll tell you that you're overreacting and that him persistently following a girl around to ask her for her number repeatedly isn't bad, it shows he's interested. He's a nice guy.

Tell him that's what other men thought too until "insert any woman you can think of who was assualted".

Lute's more direct, she sits his ass down and has him watch as many true crime stories of women getting kidnapped, SA, tortured, and murdered as she can find. Usually she picks ones based off the names you drop. He really only has to hear 4 or 5 before it sinks in. (Tiktok reminded me of the girl who was tortured to death for 45 days and assualted with lit fireworks so, have that fresh horror in your minds).

Tell him about any personal experiences you had and how terrifying it is to be a woman or queer. Show him the responses to the man or the bear question. Let him fully realize how many people, people he knows as strong and capable, would rather face the bear because "the worst the bear can do is kill me". Or "Nobody accuses me of liking being attacked by a bear"

"No one asked me what I was wearing when the bear attacked"

"People would actually believe me if I said I was attacked by a bear."

"The bear sees me as a person."

"The bear lives in the woods, the man probably followed me."

Each answer is gonna send a new shiver down his spine.

Reforming Adam isn't an easy or fast process but it's fully possible because I don't think he's bad or a fullblown narcissist. I think he's been told his entire existence that he's a good guy, a pinnacle of creation, someone to be admired and obeyed without question.

You could argue he may be a bit controlling and narcissistic because of how he treated Lillith and requested a submissive wife with Eve. And I don't think he's ever not going to be full of himself and expect his ideal partner to be a bit more traditional in the sense that they're a housewife/domestic type. But he also likes people who go out and have fun, can get wild, and he definitely thinks it's hot if you can defend yourself even if it strokes his ego if you let him do it.

But overall, I think with enough time, patience, and exposure Adam could become a better person. Probably the type who would throw hands with himself if he could. Definitely becomes the type to start borderline hating other men.

[transmascposi]

I feel really isolated because I hardly see any trans masculine positivity posts,,,, The only posts I see,, that are even shared by my own friends,,, are those that are complaining about trans mascs and how we're evil, ugly, and ruining the trans community,,,, I don't know what I did wrong besides simply exist as a trans masculine person,,, I still face misogyny and now I'm facing transphobia from my own friends,,, I even had to block somebody who said 'I have never found trans males to be sexually attractive' and instead of people telling them that's transphobic everyone was agreeing with them,,, I don't know where to turn anymore because everyone hates trans men so badly,,,, plus it's interesting that ppl will say how much they hate trans men but then fetishize our bodies,,,

I feel you. It's so lonely and difficult sometimes. It can feel like the whole world hates you. But I promise it's not like that. There's a lot of people who love us, really.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You didn't do anything wrong. And even if you did, it wouldn't justify this treatment. You are valid and amazing and you bring so much beauty to the world and to the queer community. I had to cut off a few internet friends who hated on trans men and I don't regret it one bit. If they hate trans masculine people, I suggest cutting these people off. They are not good friends to you.

My advice is to try to spend less time online. The hate is much more concentrated here, and it's much more openly vicious. We certainly do have bad things happening to us in real life, but from my experience at least, the hate online is on another level. There are encounters that we can't really prevent in real life, but you can control the majority of your interactions online. I suggest avoiding the hate as much as you can, even if it means not spending time on your favorite platform. It can seem like I'm stating the obvious and I probably am, but at the same time, when I struggled a lot with online hate on trans mascs, I would keep spending time in trans masc spaces on tumblr that are full of this hate. I think we have the tendency to dwell in the hate, for whatever reason. To reblog it to argue with it, to keep repeating the same points to people who don't care about the truth, to try to counter the lie that trans mascs have it easy by witnessing the hate as a getcha. I'm not saying that you do this necessarily, but I definitely did it.

My second advice is to go out and meet people who understand and support you. A wonderful way to do that is activism. If you can, join your local trans activist group! You don't have to have inspiring speeches on big podiums and argue with people. You can help with small practical tasks — those people are very much needed and appreciated! Or you can find your local queer events and go there. It can be intimidating at first, especially if you go alone, but there's always someone a little bit lost at these events. People get it. Again, it definitely can be very difficult, but try to talk to some trans people there. Or anyone, really. You will find out that there's a lot of people who support and get us. And people who might not fully understand yet, but they want to try and they want to help. Even these imperfect encounters will warm your heart enough to forget a little about all the hate, even just for a moment. And being in activist circles and hearing people say your exact thoughts out loud — oh man it's SO satisfying. These people don't even have to be your friends. I'm trying to be an activist and there are people who I have fun with and who give me a sense of community — yet I don't meet them outside of activism stuff because I know we aren't a good match to be friends. And yet, their existence in my life brings me a lot of warmth. Building community is the key, really.

I wish you the best of luck and strength and I hope you will feel better soon.

[flavoredfaeman]

Okay making my own long post so that I can get out all my thoughts clearly

So to start off 1. I think that queer baiting is a completely useless term, in part because all it is used for is arguing whether or not something is queer enough (in part because queerbaiting is an incredibly rare phenomenon in western media), 2. I think that the way male queerness is treated in Deadpool is unfortunate, and 3. Gay people are allowed to find joy in goofy movies and it isn't that serious.

**this is all my opinion, a lot of these topics are up to personal interpretation just like with any other movies or media discussion (I am trying to also cover multiple perspectives here, but I am only one person)

Let's get one thing clear right off the bat, no one who is familiar with marvel and disney actually thought that Deadpool and Wolverine were going to kiss/fuck nasty/become an item. (Those were jokes guys.) Those of us who were hoping for queerness were hoping for some subtext at most or the Deadpool-typical type jokes where he smacks a guy's ass, makes a quippy comment and moves on. And within that context of expectation, we were given way more than we expected.

Now, I will say that it is absolutely sad that we can have these movies with gay jokes, but that actually portraying queer characters seems to be too much for them. As is typical (to my knowledge) of bigger movies, they were allowed to make a side lesbian couple (this is a much larger topic, but for the purposes of this conversation, let me add on: cishet men think lesbians are hot + women are not considered to be able to have "real" relationships without men. So they can get greenlit a bit easier.), but Deadpool is not allowed to have meaningful connections to other men.

Deadpool's jokes about gayness can be interpreted in different ways. To some people, they feel hurtful and deriding. To others, they are the jokes made by a man who is comfortable in his identity, and who makes jokes to take power away from people who may want to use his queerness against him. It's really hard to argue this one way or the other, since Deadpool isn't a real person who we can ask to clarify. As such, how one feels about these jokes usually sits within the context of how they view Deadpool and the movies in general. Personally, I think that these jokes are meant to shock audiences, but I don't think they are actually intended to be hurtful. Especially when the funny part of most of the jokes is when he is making them, not that it's gay. Like, straight or gay, it's funny to talk about sex in a really emotional/tense moment, or in the middle of a fight. Particularly when you see how he treats the other queer people around him, not to mention, you know, the fact that he's canonically pansexual. (Frankly I find it kinda weird to go "aah there's a queer man making jokes about being a queer man!! How terrible!!" but that's my prerogative)

From movie 2 to 3 there does seem to be a change in how queerness is being treated. A positive change, in my opinion. Because Deadpool isn't making all that many jokes in this one, he's got a few for sure (Wolverine has one or two as well!!) but a lot of what he's doing is becoming genuinely close to Wolverine. This shifts the dynamic, now it's not just Deadpool making gay jokes or advances to people who don't really reciprocate (to my memory, though I feel like Colossus may have flirted back at like the end of Deadpool 2?), instead the jokes are being reciprocated/responded to and the characters are being put on even ground. Wolverine is a realized character, just like Deadpool, so they are able to grow closer over the course of the movie, and form an actual connection and bond. (Also a lot of the gay jokes become "wow isn't wolverine so hot?" jokes)

Important to also add that yes, they do start the movie with a very fraught and tense relationship, they are both very violent characters, Wolverine has crazy anger issues, and Deadpool makes everything a joke. All of these things are important to their characters and story! If you took some of those early interactions out of context you could argue that Wolverine isn't reciprocating or something of the like, but that would require ignoring the majority of the film. They are kinda crazy and impervious characters who have opposite personalities in a high stakes setting, of course they are going to fight and try to harm one another.

As much as it's already been talked to death, it is genuinely important to discuss the metaphors in this movie. Because as funny as the Honda jokes are, that scene is heavily implied to be a sex scene. This is the art of film, what you cannot show the viewer, you must convey some other way. The fight happens to You're The One That I Want, they repeatedly stab intimate places (stabbing as metaphor for penetration), the way they position themselves in the car and through themselves at each other, and the camera panning towards the bumper as the car shakes (a classic fade to black sex move). This is all movie language, and it is vital to understanding what a movie is portraying.

The climax is also very important in this regard, because as camp as it is, they were willing to die for each other and in that willingness they were able to save each other. Like A Prayer is playing, they are holding hands, when Wolverine's shirt explodes Deadpool takes a moment to oggle him despite the fact that they're both getting absolutely electrocuted or whatever.

Now, despite all of this absolutely beautiful subtext, Deadpool and Wolverine do not get together. That is absolutely an important part of this conversation, their relationship is ultimately left ambiguous. But a queer man being in a homoerotic ambiguous relationship with another man, does not a queer bait make.

Vanessa is an important part of this discussion of course - though to preface this, I find their relationship really boring so I don't really remember a lot of what happened between them in the first movie. Deadpool is canonically pansexual, so his relationship with any woman does not make him any less queer. Though, it could be argued that she's been kept around as a character to make sure he's always in or longing for a straight relationship.

Some people have been arguing that the movie ends with Deadpool getting back together with her, which blatantly does not happen. They were in a weird stage of exes being friends at the start of the movie, where she was in a new relationship, and he was still pining. All he does at the end of the movie is go over to her to let her know he cares about her, which could be romantic or platonic - but IS NOT them getting together. And again - even if he still is in love with her by the end of the movie, he is still queer.

In addition, I don't think that Deadpool is monogamous. He's constantly flirting and showing interest in many different people. Now I don't remember if he ever has a conversation with Vanessa about monogamy, so I could be missing an important part of their dynamic. But as it stands to my knowledge, Deadpool being in love with Vanessa doesn't mean he's not in love with Wolverine.

Both of these potential relationships end in the air. And of the two (if we assume monogamy is important) Vanessa said she had a boyfriend, and Wolverine just moved into Deadpool's apartment. So Wolverine is in a much better position to end up with Deadpool than Vanessa is.

It's also good to note that everything we got in this movie was fought tooth and nail for by Ryan Reynolds and the movie's team. There is every chance that Deadpool and Wolverine's relationship would not be implied but rather outright in a world where studio opinions don't matter.

Everything that I've just described is not queerbaiting. A movie with queer people in it canonically, is not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when media sells a character/relationship as queer in order to get an audience and then tells that audience that they are not actually queer (usually done incredibly insultingly, think Sherlock). Marvel and Disney do not need to market towards queer people to get an audience, in fact marketing towards queer people is more likely to lose fans, and gain hate. It's also important to note that the marketing hasn't been marketing these two as queer, they aren't almost kissing in material, the cover is a friendship charm, the most they do is address the fact that Wolverine/Hugh Jackman is hot af. So it literally isn't queerbaiting.

Now, whether or not someone is disappointed in the level of queerness is completely up to the individual! Everyone is welcome to their opinions and feelings about the movie, disappointed or delighted. But a movie is not queerbaiting just because you are disappointed.

[castlebyersthoughts]

Dude those Reddit posts—Yikes! The mindset of some people is startling. At this point I’m not sure if I want to laugh or scream. I know ST is just a show or whatever but we’re talking about possible queer representation and we’re getting called out. They really don’t understand how groundbreaking it would be. There’s so much straight rep out there and you don’t have to look hard at all. In any other instances you could have theories going back and forth in a fandom and people would be open about it or at least be like “hmm…that’s interesting now that you mention it”—but the second you try to imply that a character could be queer all hell breaks loose. Why? Does that threaten their favorite ship? If they’re so confident in them they shouldn’t have anything to worry about? It’s so stupid to call us delusional just for hoping for some queer representation. We want to be seen too.

The audacity to say “if they wanted it to be obvious they would have done it like all the other couples” you mean all the straight couples who can live openly and be comfortable with who they are and fall in love with who they want to without fear of judgement or shame. I swear people watch this show with their god damn eyes closed and their fingers shoved in their ears. Do people seriously not understand that it’s set in the 80’s at a time where there was zero positivity surrounding queer people. Every tv news program or newspaper article was filled with hate, death, slurs or quoting some bullshit bible verse.

I hope Milkvan’s enjoy their time living in blissful ignorance cause come season 5 that shits going crash down real hard.

Oh my god, anon, I know. You're trying to find excuses for them but let's face it, the ones I posted here were pure homophobia. Because they wouldn't react this way if Will was a girl, it wouldn't be seen as such an unthinkable thing, especially in season 3 out of a 5-season show. It's a normal and even basic progression of the story to slowly reveal another love interest for the protagonist who's been struggling with his relationship, especially when it's the best friend who's had feelings for them the whole time, it's like every romcom ever.

To be completely honest I did select the worst comments for that post, some people actually agreed with Will possibly having feelings for Mike, even if they all thought it was going nowhere. But Mike not being straight is just never a possibility for them, I guess because he had a girlfriend at age 12? It's either ignorance/heteronormativity or homophobia. Which is why representation is still so important, especially with a character like Mike, who's seen as the "normal" character, the audience stand-in.

And yes you're absolutely right about queer couples in the 80s not having the luxury to just be open like the straight ones, it's just completely crazy to think they could ever write Mike and Will like they did Jonathan and Nancy. I also don't know why those people are not considering the simple fact that the writers are taking their time writing a careful, coherent story? It's like everything is about instant gratification these days and people forget what a piece of fiction even is. They don't realize a story needs to have a beginning, middle and end, and characters need to go through a journey and grow. But somehow since Mike and El kissed in season 1 they have to end up together, no question about it. It's like these people have never read a book or even watched another tv show? It's truly baffling.

I guess in the end people who react this way are either: 1) M*leven shippers who use any excuse they can to stay in denial about Byler, 2) homophobic people, or 3) casual fans who don't pick up on the little details and queer subtext and aren't used to seeing that type of storyline in their "monster" shows, so they just don't register Byler as a possibility. Honestly the ones I'm most shocked by are definitely the M*leven shippers, because these people are absolute fans of the show, have watched it many times, and know how the writers and cast talk about it. Maybe they're just skipping all the Byler scenes on their rewatches, I don't know, but it just amazes me how they can convince themselves that Byler is just a fan-made crack ship and their beloved couple that's been terrible together for the past two seasons is the only possible endgame.

Like you said, there's going to be a big crash down from them after season 5. Because even if for some reason Byler doesn't happen, I am absolutely sure that Mike and El aren't ending up together. They're ET and Eliot, they're gonna have to part ways at the end of the story. Fortunately there don't seem to be many M*leven fans left, so I guess if the season is good this won't affect the global reaction to season 5 too much. Like the Duffers said, "You just can't please everybody"!

[kirkwallguy]

verilybitchie's comment on taash's non-binary identity within the narrative spoke to me so bad. so i will say that plain representation is just "here you have your cake too" when it's giving... no context. like what kind of gender confusion a rivaini-qunari can have? this is a question that can only be answered if we can get an answer for what rivaini see gender as. is gender nonexistent and only thing that matters is the genitalia, functionally? is being a man or a woman just about who's giving birth and nothing else, not even clothing? like what are they giving. you cannot connect any dots because there's no dot to connect with.

not only there's cultural context to such things there's also the way of experiencing confusion/questioning depending on that IS so interesting to write, read and think about.

so i feel similar to sexuality representation. like what affect does it have for them and to their life. through dorian (and krem, in gender topic) we could even learn about tevinter culturally and politically that ties to class, poverty, money, and how did they effect them. it's not even about "struggle" it can be a culture that is totally fine with LGBTQ+ but like experience-effect is still experience-effect, negative or positive, and where does a character's own personal takes lie in them. it makes it feel real and fleshed out.

god ykw i STILL haven't watched that video despite meaning to for ages. when i do you'll probably know because i'll go into annoying essay mode lol

but yeah i completely agree. it's really weird because rivain's main narrative function is to contrast the negative points of qunari society. if rivain and the lords of fortune are majorly queer friendly, then why has taash never considered that they might be non-binary before? why do they need to go to tevinter to find trans people to speak to? (even having that initial conversation about not liking being a woman be with isabela might have felt slightly more cohesive lol.) then again, if it ISN'T a society that's welcoming of trans people, then why is the qun the only one whose issues are explored? obviously this is mostly due to the writers' (ie: weekes') weird hangups about qunari society and insistence on demonising them as a regressive "other", but it also feels like it flattens rivaini society in a way that does them a massive disservice imo.

honestly i wrote out a long thing on how dav feels less interested in exploring transness than it does representing transness but it got long and i was rambling. but anyway, i really agree that it's about portraying culture more than struggling, though. as much as i don't like the way bigotry is pushed aside in dav because a lot of queer culture COMES from struggling, there are so many ways to explore how queerness can exist in a society beyond having characters be called slurs. language is one but that's off the table ig. it's nice that they wanted to go with more casual trans characters and did "person who just happens to be trans if you dig into their backstory", but it's also weird and unnatural what these trans characters choose to tell and what they choose to withhold when prompted. i mean, tarquin gives us his entire coming out story but wont give us the name of the healer who prescribed him fantasy minoxidil for his beard? that's just kind of rude. (and indicative of how transness in vg is paper thin. we aren't supposed to think about it deeply enough to consider how a character could transition despite that being kind of an important thing for lots of trans people to do)

obviously this isn't just a dav problem. i feel like I'd give the first three da games slightly more slack given that queer rights (especially in gaming) was a different landscape 10 years ago, but if we look at bg3 we can see pretty much the same issues. i don't really think aaa games are capable of tackling these issues anymore, even if it feels like they were once able to at least try to.