CH 117 SPOILERS
ok but on a serious note, if kunikida is really gone, what the HELL will the agency do without him. he was foundational. he was pivotal. he was a pillar of the group. they all relied on him and trusted him with their lives as a leader and as a friend.
how will they cope without him? his strategizing, his rationality, his plans, his structure? will atsushi blame himself and spend every day thinking, “what would kunikida have done”? will yosano, ranpo and all the other agents feel his absence and try to fill the palpable gap with a strict routine like he always practiced? will dazai finally step up and throw himself into his work, the bitter irony of how happy kunikida would’ve been to see it like salt in the wound?
will they all dedicate themselves to ensuring his ideals live on? will they try to emulate his behaviors, thought processes, practices and mannerisms to try and fill his shoes? all while knowing they never can, and things will never be the same again?
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Just a lil thought I had while staring at black and white clothing today.
Atsushi's and Dazai's clothes at 18 represent their black and white thinking, but show just how opposite their thinking is at that at age, despite being in the same colors.
Atsushi is dressed in a white shirt and black slacks, but thanks to his white-ish/gray-ish hair, he has a more white-balanced color palette. His clothes reflect his innocence to the world that he's diving into, the world that he's being dragged into by the nose.
In contrast, Dazai at that age was swathed, completely swimming in black. The coat most certainly helped in that aspect, but Dazai at the age of 18 has very black-balanced color palette. His clothes reflect his mindset of there being no hope in this world, the world that has dragged him down time and time again.
Atsushi sees hope and good in people, despite his experiences and his biases (and his inner bitching, outer bitching to Akutagawa). Dazai sees the worst in people, and is completely startled by simple-minded acts of goodness, such as when Atsushi threw himself on the bomb in the beginning. He was genuinely startled by Atsushi.
I just think it's rather neat
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Could you elaborate more on akutagawa bringing out atsushi's cruel side and atsushi bringing out akutagawa's kinder side? Despite everything i do think there were moments where atsushi held akutagawa's strength in high regard and felt inferior to him but denies this by constantly mocking akutagawa and reminding him that he lost in their first fight. Ngl i really love how atsushi can be himself around akutagwa, he doesn't need to be the atsushi that everyone loves, he can be the atsushi that only he can love 😭
Okay I've talked about this plenty so you might want to check out these posts (1) (2) (3) (4); on Akutagawa's good nature (1) (2); on Atsushi's mean nature (1) (2) (3)
My final take is: it's true, Atsushi brings out Akutagawa's kind side and Akutagawa brings out Atsushi's cruel side. But it shouldn't be left at that, risking of running into the error of reducing their relationship to an oversimplifying formula. It's true, Atsushi is mean around Akutagawa and Akutagawa is kind around Atsushi; but what we should really focus on is the fact that they manage to bring out a side of each other that other characters don't. Which is a good thing! It means that they can be their true selves, letting go of the fear of judgement and abandonment, because they know they're okay with each other. And I'm positive that yes, although it initially manifested with Atsushi being straight up a jerk to Akutagawa, it's not going to stop at that; because if it's true that Akutagawa brings to light facets of Atsushi's nature that don't usually emerge, it's also true that Atsushi's true nature isn't all evil and nothing else. First off, Atsushi is also manifestly more confident around Akutagawa, he's more brave and cool. He's sassy and sharp, he's blunt and stops overthinking things. Who knows if, once he's grown more affectionate of Akutagawa, once he's changed his mind about him, that will also translate in him being more open about how much he admires Akutagawa? Personally, I like to believe it will (Atsushi's love language being words of affirmation which is exactly what Akutagawa needs, eheh). After all, the “If you asked me, I'd say Dazai-san has already recognized you long ago” (which I've said, probably made Akutagawa fall right then and there) likely didn't come from a place of high esteem as much as it was just Atsushi honestly expressing his thoughts, unfiltered in front of Akutagawa. Then, just think of what he could tell him once his feelings for Akutagawa have morphed from simple animosity to something positive!
To me sskk really is:
It's unpealing each layer till they're completely naked in front of each other, but God knows if having someone they can be utterly vulnerable with isn't exactly what they need. And yes, that started off as Atsushi being extremely rude to Akutagawa, but I'm sure it's not going to stop at that. It's going to develop in Atsushi being comforted by Akutagawa saying “do we need any more?” because having each other is truly all they need, and it's going to develop in Atsushi softly smiling at Akutagawa because no one else could make him feel safe and serene as he does.
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dazai approaches life with the idea that wanting anything is pointless because it will be taken from you
chuuya keeps losing everyone important to him and yet he keeps going, he finds new friends, he keeps living as his own person
in a way, chuuya's life is like a confirmation of dazai's bias; any time he has something good, someone important to him, a connection, it gets taken away from him
and yet unlike dazai, he doesn't give in to despair
and i think that might be one of the reasons dazai finds him interesting enough to care about. because chuuya actively challenges the way he sees life itself just by doing his own thing. he doesn't go out of his way to talk dazai into seeing value in life, and i think this is the sort of language dazai has an easier time speaking
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i wish atsushi was more like worried about his work hours like imagine bsd but the second its time to clock out, atsushi just fucking leaves
criminal of the week: *speech about whatever plan they have*
atsushi: oh wait could you hold on for a second
criminal of the week: uhh sure?
atsushi: oops, looks like its time for me to clock out
criminal of the week: uhh
atsushi: well, ill see you when im back in office, i guess. have a nice day
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