#dazai with suspenders

[ssaraexposs]

LOOKING SHARP AND BUSINESS ONLY

(And absolutely fine)

[cosmobrain00]

if femzai doesnt look like the worst girlfailure on the block I dont want her

[yumaisbored]

i firmly believe Dazai would hack into Yokohama systems so that all of the ‘have you seen this criminal’ notifications about Chuuya would have a picture of a chihuahua photoshopped over his mugshot… alternatively, he’d put up ‘have you seen my dog’ fliers with a shitty picture of Chuuya (giving Chuuya’s own phone number to call ofc)

[kaurwreck]

ooh you’re reading beast! when you finish, and only if you’re inclined, i’d be very curious to see your thoughts on how you make sense of chuuya’s character in that universe? personally, i have trouble analyzing him because he only appears for an insignificant paragraph cameo with virtually zero impact on the story— and tbqh there’s a tiiiiny tinhat part of me that suspects he was only included at all to head off questions about another potential dark-era-esque absence— but regardless of that and assuming asagiri did have something in mind with including him considering he is in there at the end of the day, i’d love to know how you make sense of him within that narrative?

yes, chuuya's hypervigilance and dazai's dismissiveness of him illustrate how far dazai's gone and how unreachable he's become, expositing Dazai's route of self destruction and foreshadowing his suicide.

[die-with-me-dazai]

Here’s your daily reminder that sh*tkoku stans don’t see dazai on his own, don’t look at his trauma, his story, his personality, only a good self projection to get with ch**y* and if you call yourself a dazai stan and ship sh*tkoku, then I have some news for you ❤️

[moomuzan]

𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖒𝖞

ᴛᴡ

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ reader is self-harming

read with caution, stay safe

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ dazai & aku

Enshrouded in a silence so profound that it bordered on oppressive, an almost tangible thing settled in the corners of the room, lingering in the stale air. Dazai had rushed to your apartment earlier than usual, driven not by obligation but by an inexplicable unease that had rooted itself in the recesses of his mind, an ominous premonition that resisted reason. It wasn’t unusual for him to be haunted by intangible dread—he carried the weight of too many ghosts, after all—but tonight, it was different. It clung to him, persistent and unrelenting, as though the universe itself had conspired to nudge him back to you.

Being a fragile dance of proximity and distance, of holding on too tightly while pretending to let go, the relationship between you and Dazai had always been precariously balanced on the edge of something you couldn’t name. It was as though the two of you had been drawn together by an unspoken recognition, an understanding that neither dared to articulate. You saw his darkness, the shadowed corners of his heart that he kept hidden beneath that infuriating smile, and he saw yours, raw and unfiltered, etched into the way you moved through the world with barely concealed fragility.

But he never let you in. Not really.

As he called out your name, the edge of his voice was faintly frayed, betraying the gnawing anxiety beneath the practiced nonchalance. He waited for your voice, your sigh of exasperation or some sign of life that would confirm the sanctity of your presence. But no sound came to meet him, save for the distant hum of the bathroom fan.

It was such a small, ordinary sound—one he had heard a thousand times before—but tonight, it carried with it an ominous undertone, an unspoken forewarning. His feet moved before his mind caught up, carrying him across the floor with briskness. The bathroom door was ajar, a sliver of light spilling into the dim hallway.

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, a beat of suspended time where some instinct whispered that what lay beyond that door could never be unseen, could never be undone. But he pushed it open, and in that instant, his world fractured.

The sight of you was a visceral blow, a picture of despair rendered in stark, unrelenting clarity. You were seated on the cold, unforgiving tiles, your back slumped against the porcelain curve of the bathtub, your frame shivering with a fragility that spoke of collapse. Blood dripped from your arm in sluggish rivulets, staining your skin, your clothes, the floor—a macabre mosaic of anguish. In your trembling hand, the blade gleamed faintly under the harsh fluorescent light, an instrument of destruction rendered almost innocuous by its simplicity.

And for a moment, Dazai did nothing. He simply stood there, his figure frozen as if carved from stone, his mind warring between disbelief and the inexorable truth of what lay before him. His chest tightened, his breath hitching in a way that felt foreign and unfamiliar, and he found himself staring at the crimson trails on your arm, unable to look away yet wishing with every fiber of his being that he could unsee it.

“What,” he finally said, his voice low but trembling with a dangerous undercurrent, “do you think you’re doing?”

The words sliced through the air like a blade, sharp and accusing, yet they carried with them a tremor of vulnerability that he couldn’t suppress. His mask, so carefully cultivated over the years, slipped for a brief, agonizing moment, revealing the raw anguish that simmered beneath.

You flinched at the sharpness of his tone but didn’t lift your gaze. Your voice, when it came, was a shadow of itself—weak, broken, barely audible above the sound of your own labored breathing. “Leave,” you whispered, the word trembling on your lips. “Just… go, Dazai. This has nothing to do with you.”

But Dazai did not leave. He couldn’t. The door was closed now, locking the two of you in this suffocating space, and the weight of your pain bound him to you with an unbreakable tether. Without a word, he crossed the small distance between you and crouched before you, his movements measured and deliberate, as though approaching a wounded animal.

Eventually, his long fingers reached for yours, prying the blade from your hand with a gentleness that belied the storm brewing within him. He hurled it aside with a force that sent it clattering against the porcelain sink, the sound reverberating through the small room like an accusation. His gaze, dark and unrelenting, locked onto yours.

“You don’t get to do this,” he said, his voice trembling with anger, though it was not directed at you alone. It was as much a condemnation of himself as it was of you, a reflection of his own failures mirrored in your bloodied skin.

Your head snapped up at his words, your eyes blazing with defiance even as tears streaked your cheeks. “Don’t you dare lecture me,” you spat, your voice trembling but fierce. “You think you’re any different? You, who treats life like a game? Who smiles while drowning? You’re the last person who gets to tell me what I’m allowed to feel.”

The words struck him like a physical blow, cutting through the carefully constructed walls he had spent years erecting. For a moment, he said nothing, his jaw clenching as he struggled to suppress the tide of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. You were right, of course. How could he, a man so consumed by his own despair, dare to pass judgment on you for succumbing to yours?

“I see myself in you,” he said finally, his voice low but trembling with an emotion he could not name. “And it’s killing me.”

Your breath hitched at his words, the raw vulnerability in his tone catching you off guard. His usual facade of humor and detachment was gone, replaced by a fractured man laid bare before you. He took your hand in his, his touch surprisingly steady despite the tremor in his voice.

“Do you know what it’s like,” he continued, his gaze boring into yours, “to look at someone and see every mistake you’ve ever made staring back at you? To see the darkness you thought you’d buried reflected in their eyes? It terrifies me. Because I know exactly where this path leads.”

Your throat tightened, tears spilling over as his words pierced through the walls you had so carefully built around yourself. “And what am I supposed to do?” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I don’t know how to stop, Dazai. I don’t know how to fight this.”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of your shared despair. For a long moment, the only sound in the room was your uneven breathing, punctuated by the distant hum of the fan. Then, slowly, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek with a tenderness that made your chest ache.

“You don’t have to fight it alone,” he said, his voice steady now, though his eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I won’t promise that it’ll be easy, or that I’ll always know the right thing to say. But I’m not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not ever.”

The sincerity in his voice broke something within you, and you let out a choked sob, collapsing into his arms as the weight of your pain finally became too much to bear. He held you tightly, his embrace warm and steady, as though trying to shield you from the very darkness he knew all too well.

Neither of you spoke as the minutes ticked by, the silence between you no longer oppressive but comforting in its simplicity. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe—just maybe—you didn’t have to face this alone.

The evening air hung heavy, thick with the oppressive heat of late summer. The mission had been arduous, though hardly unusual. Yet as you and Akutagawa walked side by side down the dimly lit streets, the weight in the silence between you felt far more suffocating than the temperature.

Akutagawa had always been a man of few words, his presence cold and reserved, much like the sharp edges of Rashomon that followed him like a shadow. You’d grown used to the silences, even found a strange comfort in them. But tonight, his quiet observation felt sharper, cutting into you with every glance he cast in your direction.

You kept your eyes forward, your hands buried deep in the pockets of your coat despite the oppressive warmth. The fabric felt heavy on your skin, concealing the evidence of a battle fought not in the streets but within yourself. The faint sting of fresh wounds burned beneath your sleeves, a reminder of the weakness you despised, the war you couldn’t seem to win.

It wasn’t until you stumbled slightly—your foot catching on an uneven crack in the pavement—that his voice broke the silence.

“You’re trembling,” he said, his tone flat but his words laced with something unspoken.

“I’m fine,” you replied quickly, too quickly, pulling your coat tighter around you as if the action could shield you from his piercing gaze.

But Akutagawa was nothing if not observant. His dark eyes narrowed, tracking every subtle movement—the stiffness in your stride, the way your hand twitched when you adjusted your sleeve. He said nothing at first, but the weight of his scrutiny was unbearable, a silent accusation that dug under your skin.

Finally, as the two of you approached a narrow, empty alleyway, he stopped abruptly, his voice cutting through the thick air like a blade. “What are you hiding?”

The question froze you in place.

“I’m not hiding anything,” you said, your voice steady despite the panic rising in your chest. You turned to keep walking, but his hand shot out, his grip firm as it closed around your wrist.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, his voice sharp, his grip tightening just enough to keep you from pulling away. There was no malice in his touch, but the intensity in his gaze was unrelenting. “You’re not fine. You’ve been off all day. What are you hiding under those sleeves?”

The heat of his stare felt suffocating, and for a moment, you thought about telling him—about letting the words spill out, about showing him the scars and the blood and the pain you carried in silence. But the shame was too great, the fear of his reaction too overwhelming.

“It’s nothing,” you said instead, your voice colder now, defensive. “Just drop it, Akutagawa.”

But he didn’t drop it.

“Nothing,” he repeated, his voice low and filled with a simmering frustration. “Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I can’t see what’s right in front of me?”

You flinched at the sharpness of his tone, your resolve cracking under the weight of his insistence. As his grip around your wrist tightened, a sharp, involuntary breath left your lips. The tension in the air thickened, his eyes narrowing as he pulled your arm closer, his gaze following the path of the sleeve you had desperately tried to hide. The moment his fingers brushed the fabric, his grip tightened just slightly, urging you to reveal what you had kept so carefully concealed.

And then, in a flicker of hesitation, his gaze caught the scars—thin, jagged lines etched into your skin, some newer than others, but all too familiar in their painful pattern. Akutagawa’s breath hitched, his sharp mind momentarily halted by the sight. He froze, his usually cold, calculated demeanor faltering for the briefest moment. It wasn’t anger that flashed through him first, but something darker—something unfamiliar. A strange, sharp ache curled in his chest, like a force tugging at something deep inside, something he didn’t dare acknowledge. He held your wrist with an almost unnatural tenderness, his sharp eyes tracing the marks, as if trying to make sense of a pain he couldn’t fully understand. His jaw clenched, a flicker of frustration passing through him, not at you, but at the reality of it all—the reality that you, of all people, would carry this burden alone, without him knowing.

“Why?” he demanded, his voice quieter now but no less intense. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

The question hit you like a blow, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe.

“Because I’m weak,” you snapped, the words, almost mocking, spilling out before you could stop them. “Because I don’t know how to stop. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

His eyes widened slightly at your outburst, the anger in his expression faltering. For a moment, he seemed at a loss, the harsh words you’d expected him to hurl back at you replaced by a heavy, suffocating silence.

“You’re not weak,” he said finally, his voice low, measured. “But this… this is no way to fight.”

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and sharp. “And what would you know about it, Akutagawa? You talk about strength like it’s the only thing that matters, but you’ve never had to live with this—” You gestured vaguely toward your covered arm, your voice breaking. “This constant battle against yourself.”

He stiffened at your words, his gaze hardening, but there was no anger in his expression now. Instead, there was something raw, something that made your chest ache in a way you couldn’t explain.

“You think I don’t understand?” he said quietly, his voice trembling just slightly. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to hate yourself, to feel like nothing you do will ever be enough?”

The vulnerability in his voice caught you off guard, silencing the retort that had been on your lips. He let go of your wrist, his hand falling to his side as he looked away, his gaze fixed on the cracked pavement beneath your feet.

“I’ve spent my entire life fighting to prove that I’m not weak,” he continued, his tone soft but heavy with emotion. “But no matter how strong I become, it’s never enough. Not for anyone. And not for myself.”

His words hung in the air between you, their weight sinking into your chest like a stone. For the first time, you saw him not as the cold, distant figure you had grown used to, but as someone who carried the same scars you did—different in form, perhaps, but no less painful.

“I can’t let you do this to yourself,” he said after a moment, his voice steadier now. “I won’t.”

“And what are you going to do about it?” you asked, your voice trembling but no longer defiant.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his honesty disarming in its simplicity. “But I’ll figure it out. And you—” His gaze met yours, sharp and unrelenting. “You’re going to stop. Not because I’m ordering you to, but because you’re better than this.”

The conviction in his voice startled you, leaving you unsure how to respond. He stepped closer then, his movements slow, deliberate, as though afraid of breaking whatever fragile truce had settled between you.

“I’m not good at this,” he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper. “But I’m here. If you need me, I’m here.”

The sincerity in his words broke something inside you, and before you could stop yourself, you nodded, the tears you’d been holding back spilling over. He didn’t say anything as you cried, his presence steady and grounding in a way you hadn’t expected.

For the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between you wasn’t heavy with unspoken pain. It was something else—something fragile but real, a promise that you weren’t as alone as you’d thought.

a/n: yall wanted this! this is on you..! jk. for the anon that requested it and really anyone else who suffers: i love you, you are strong and don’t ever think about giving up. you can message me anytime. — i love dazai‘s part (a little)

[chiliyue-archived]

4:07PM

↬ taking naps with them

Includes; Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Sigma, Tetchō

Not requested ! [Bsd M.List] ♡

-

—DAZAI

An ambiance of silence furnished the bedroom, the light sound of your breathing providing a source of comfort to the burnette.

A milky eye peeked open from where he rested, cheek pressed against your lap. The complacent grin of his undeniable, beaming at your below as his breathy sigh intruded the silence. Propping himself up, a cotton arm extended out, the pads of his digits brushing along your features.

His index finger took placement at your temples, pausing before traveling south along your cheek structure. He was busy mapping out the bridge of your nose when your face scrunched up, brows furrowing at the touch. "What are you doing?" The question fell upon deaf ears as the limb retracted.

" I'll have to restart now." Dazai lets in a fatuous display of feign annoyance, the stretching of his cheeks betraying his brewing playfulness. His finger shifted to position back along your temple, blunt nail trailing down again languishly.

You recline against him. His finger glided across your skin in a manner you've expressed praise in; as so he had it committed the movement to memory. Sleepily, you echoed, " What are you doing?" His reponse came nonchalantly, visage focused where his nail trailed - it was disrupted by the ghost of a smile on his lips and a beaming glint.

" Counting the freckles/markings on your face." The corners of his mouth twitched into a more defined grin - uncharacteristically voided of the teasing undertone - it was a besotted look more than anything. "Go back to sleep, I'll wake you when I'm done."

—CHŪYA

" Let's get you to bed."

You could faintly recall being wrapped up in a thick blanket before being suspended right off your feet. The fabric felt warm, so much so that it must have just come out of the dryer. Its comfort permeated along your arms, acting as a catalyst to your slipping state. Toned arms held you close, your cheek pressed against Chūya's shoulder. You could faintly make out the scent of his cologne and light squeezes from the hand purchased on your hip.

Soon enough your back pressed against the familiar bed, the hand at your hip adjusting you as necessary to the comforter. A pair of lips reached your cheeks, kissing each one in sincerity before concluding it with one to your lips.

" Stay with me, please?" You murmured when Chūya's hands withdrew, a hot streak left in its reminder - far warmer than the blanket as cozy as it was.

You really didn't have to ask. He had already made his mind up the moment he found you rubbing your eyes and yawning at your second skin of fatigue. The bed dipped as he took the vacant place beside you, renewing the warmth that had previously started to ebb away.

Carefully, he reached out to click off his alarm before fully settling beside you. The sigh that left him was involuntary but leveled out as comfort overtook him; the way his taut muscles in his body sunk evidence of his growing indulgence. Wordlessly, his hands slipped around your waist, his body curling around you like cocoon - both from a subconscious effort to shield you but also earth himself in your radiating heat.

The tip of his his nose nestled against your shoulder, lips grazing the surface of your skin. From where he rested, Chūya's eyes took in your details, burning it to memory; he may not be able to dream, but this wasn't so bad either.

—RANPO

" You have to give me a nap kiss first." Ranpos voice halted your reverie, heavy eyes peeking open. You were greeted with the sight of Ranpo shuffling close to you, his face taking on a diametrical expression to that of his common lax one.

" Nap kiss?" He nodded, head propping close and waiting.

Your peck to his furrowed brows did nothing to alleviate the crease between it. If anything, his grip of your clothes tighten, a sound more attributed to a beg and childish compliant leaving him.

A dainty finger pointed his neglected lips, already puckered and gravitating toward you eagerly. " Right here." His words were skewed and voice raspy, but the look of determination embedded in his gaze was candid even amongst the dampened lighting.

You leaned forward, properly granting him his request. You could feel him smile against your lips in pure satisfaction, grip loosening and falling to your lap. He attempted to make the tender exchange linger for as much as possible before withdrawing.

" This isn't a goodnight kiss, by the way. I'm expecting one later, so don't forget." His words would have been more serious had it not been for the way he rubbed his eyes, latching close to you like a koala.

And even in his moments of exasperation, the lopsided smile on his face betrayed him, giving way to a tender moment amongst the afternoon.

—FYODOR

The thrumming of his heart anchored you to a hazy state, it's deep echo resonating from the chamber to your ears. A pallid hand rested on the small of your back, keeping you in place whilst his other thumbed through a book - though mindlessly he turned the pages as his foucs was more centered on the lazy circles he traced on your spine.

The yawn that slipped you didn't go unnoticed. And although you couldn't see his eyes, the shift in his gaze was palpable, accentuated as the motions of his fingers stilled. " Tired Myshka?"

Fyodor hummed in disapproval when you shook your head, a light 'clack' sound emulating the room as he discarded the book with a flick of his hand. The appendage favored to pinch your chin, a chuckle escaping him as adroit hands directed your gaze onto himself. " You are a terrible liar, my dear."

His following actions were calculated, voice taking a lower octave and brushing his hands along your shoulder blades in a seasoned manner that only he could muster.

You weren't sure if what you felt next was a play of your wearied mind, as something pressed against the crown of your head. It was in sync with the swipe of his thumb over your pulse point - amassing to form an authentic intimate display and push you right over the precarious edge of sleep.

His voice rippled against your head, muddled as hands moved to push your hair back. " Such a distraction, my dear. Hmm, perhaps you're making me go soft." He situated you against his chest again, his hum still suffused from the column of his throat. " I suppose even I have my weaknesses."

—SIGMA

It had required a lot of encouragement on your behalf, Sigma admittely nervous when it came to silces of affection and the prospect of napping never suited his interest before - additionally he was occupied with the Casino and he seldom recieved moments of leisure. But if there's one thing he falls victim to, it's that he can't say no to you.

Your body was snuggled up against him with his head pressed on top of your own. The more you squished your cheek into him, the more he swore his heart would brust from the gesture alone.

However, he was more enamored with how the leaking sunlight bathed you in gentle warm hues, leaving your skin warm as his fingers roamed aimlessly. He briefly pondered how you could look even more enticing as the hues danced along your face.

" Oh, you're already asleep." He mumbled as his stupor halted by the sound of a gentle snore. His gaze softened as it landed on your figure again, leaving from where his fingers kneaded at your thigh. A tickling became prevalent along his body as the sight assuage him unknowingly.

Sigma found it difficult to fall asleep himself, shackled by the nerves that shadowed his will of rest. The panning of your breath against his skin had a tacit effect on him, cheeks warming and chest stirring in bubbling affinity. Yet he wasn't entirely opposed to watching you nap soundly as he inwardly struggled to quell his erratic pulse - your heartfelt snuggling the incentive.

An arm draped itself over your hips, providing a comforting hold. His other, however, traced along your arms before curving up into your hair; his touch diffusing his unspoken infatuation. He swept some locks within his fingers, bringing to place a kiss against it.

The moment doused him in a form of peace, a momentary escape from the clutches of work and abysmal stress. His legs tangled with yours, not wanting the afternoon to end.

—TETCHŌ

" Lay against me."

The words had left him naturally almost nonchalantly had it not been for the sweet smile that gave way to his placid intentions.

" You look tired, I have some free time." His hand patted against his lap, punctuating his words whilst being terribly oblivious to his own deepening cheeks.

When it was evident he wasn't going to withdraw his statement, you gently situated yourself against his build, head cushioned right on his sternum. Calloused fingers slipped beneath the hem of your clothing, drawing contours along the bare skin in fluid motions. His thumb lightly brushed along your spine, his touch containing a tincture of zeal.

It was impossible to keep yourself awake, not with Tetchō murmuring sweet nothings in a silky voice, his words of "I love you" soft in the quieting room. His voice was gentle, considerate to your drowsy person but mixed with a tone of fondness that he had always expressed to you in.

Even as you found yourself deep in the clutches on your subconscious, his syrupy words persisted perpetually. His eyes were glazed in a layer of undisputed solace, golden irses diluting in what could only be described as undying admiration.

He shuddered lightly whenever you shifted in his arms, but his muscles remained slacken and even lazily wrapped around your waist. He relished being in your presence, even in the silence it leeched a form of warmth unmatched to the sunlight pouring through the windows.

Tetchō was sure to remain stagnant amongst your slumber, only moving to push aside your straying hairs and maneuver a kiss to your temples. The moment was shrouded in a cloud of bliss, his reverence scribed with gentle features akin to an awestruck child entranced by things on a screen.

He would like to do this more often, he reckoned, letting you sleep against him when granted such opportunities. When you wake up, he'll be sure to spoil you with a good meal. And many kisses too.

-

A/n; This is self-indulgent, I've been taking too many naps lately (im gonna take another one rn, bestios :])

Um I kinda made them all soft oopsie

[earlgarden-archived]

You are all mine

ft. Dazai Osamu

synopsis. Sleeping on a hammock with Dazai Osamu on a cozy afternoon

warnings. none (?)

a/n. I remember seeing a Pinterest post about something similar to this, but I can't find it, so sorry I can't credit anyone for the inspiration :(

The tranquil afternoon sun bathed the small garden in a warm, golden glow, casting dappled shadows through the leaves of the trees. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves and swayed the hammock hanging between two sturdy branches. In that hammock, Dazai reclined, his dark eyes half-lidded as he observed the world around him.

Beside him, you lay, your head nestled comfortably on his chest, your breaths slow and even in the rhythm of sleep. Dazai's slender fingers traced idle patterns on your back, his touch light as a feather. He wore a small, affectionate smile as he cherished this serene moment with you.

"Belladonna," he murmured, his voice soft and filled with tenderness. "You look so peaceful when you sleep. I can't help but envy your dreams."

Your eyelashes fluttered, and you let out a contented sigh, mumbling something unintelligible in your slumber. Dazai chuckled, his heart swelling with adoration.

He gently rocked the hammock with his feet, a rhythmic motion that sent you deeper into your dreams. The world faded away, and it was just the two of you, swaying gently in the hammock beneath the lazy afternoon sun.

Dazai continued to speak, his words a gentle melody that accompanied the swaying of the hammock. "I've been to many places and seen countless things, but none of them compare to moments like this. Just you and me, away from the chaos of the world."

The leaves above rustled in agreement, as if nature itself conspired to keep this haven of tranquility undisturbed. Dazai pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips barely grazing your hair.

"You know," he whispered, "I think I've finally found my place in the world. It's right here, with you, where everything feels perfect."

Your fingers twitched, and a sleepy smile tugged at your lips. Dazai couldn't help but wonder what dreams danced behind your closed eyelids.

The world continued to turn, time flowing gently like the breeze, as Dazai and you lay in the hammock, sharing a moment of quiet intimacy. In that serene garden, with the man you loved, you were both suspended in time, far from the troubles and challenges of the outside world.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Atsushi, Dazai, and Chuuya with an s/o who has a thread manipulation ability?

Atsushi

“What are you doing?” Atsushi asked as he saw [Y/N] in the breakroom. Their hand waving over what looked like a cape.

“Oh, this is Ranpo-sama’s. He asked me to fix it for him.” The holes in the fabric stitching together like new from their ability, Ties that Bind. “It got nicked on the last mission he went on and he’s been upset about it ever since.”

Atsushi smiled. “It’s nice of you to fix it for him.”

“It’s really no trouble.” Invisible threads spread out from [Y/N]’s back, almost like wings, to pick up some tea & biscuits on the counter and place them on the table. “A thing like this is nothing.”

Atsushi continued to smile. “I wish I had a more useful ability like this. Mine just seems to have the power to destroy.” At least that was how he felt sometimes.

“Don’t say that Atsushi, your powers provide you with the ability to protect.” [Y/N] told them, as they poured the tea themselves with their own two hands. “Every ability has its pros & cons. I won’t say that I’ve used my ability for the best purpose all the time.”

Atsushi never asks them about how they use their ability on missions. They don’t go together often, but he knows enough that the ‘pros & cons’ they are talking about usually means people get killed. “Don’t say that your abilities aren’t useful though.”

He smiled again and sat down at the table, in front of his poured tea. “Ok. I won’t.” He promised. Enjoying the rest of the afternoon with [Y/N].

Chuuya

Chuuya growled as his opponent mocked him again. “What’s the matter Port Mafia-san? Can’t hit a target you can’t catch?”

This guy, this idiot, had the ability to teleport anywhere he chose. Chuuya figured it must be short range, or at least an area in sight, since he hadn’t left the building yet. But it was just getting really annoying because he could catch him if he just brought the whole building down! But apparently he wasn’t allowed to do that….anymore.

“You Port Mafia goons are all brawn and no brains! You need to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past Monsieur--!” The idiot stopped talking, cutting off what Chuuya had to assume was an annoying introduction, when his arm was suddenly caught in a mass of silvery string.

“My, my, so loud…” The annoying man looked alarmed as he saw [Y/N] come out of the shadows. He wanted to tell him that he should be alarmed. But he had been so annoying that Chuuya didn’t want to help him. “You know my mother always told me that people who just keep talking, usually have nothing of value to add to the conversation at all.”

The annoying man smirked at their reply. “Nothing of value, eh? We’ll see about that!”

He teleported again. Trying to come up behind [Y/N] for some alleged clever attack, but found himself caught in another bundle of threads. When [Y/N] cooly looked over their shoulder at him, the idiot became visibly scared and teleported again. This time away, but again in another mass of threads.

This continued over & over with the idiot trying to teleport out of his situation. Panic and fear apparently making it impossible that he had already fallen into [Y/N]’s literal web. The more he tried to get out the worse it became. Until all that was left was a silvery white mask of threads, suspended in mid air by their attachments, and the idiots muffled screams.

“I could have had him.” Chuuya remarked when it was all over.

“I know you could have dear.” [Y/N] cooed. Trying to soothe his pout. “But, leadership is so stingy against property damage these days. This way is much easier.”

They linked arms with Chuuya and walked out with him. An associate team already there to collect. “Don’t let that idiot get out!” He ordered them. “Let him rot in there for all I care.”

“That’s my big strong guy!”

Dazai

Dazai wheezed as he came out of the river. His left arm still handcuffed, but broken off from his right, giving him the opportunity to push his wet hair out of his eyes. ‘Damnit’ He thought. ‘Failed again. I was sure the barrel trick would have worked this time.’

“Have a nice little sail?” Dazai looked up the bank to see [Y/N] standing there. Pristine and infatuating as ever, but with that icky face they made when he tried one of these stunts. “Did you at least ask the shopkeeper this time before you stole his barrel?”

“He didn’t seem to mind.” Dazai replied as he walked up the bank. Sore, but alive. Like he hadn’t been punished enough for being alive. “I take it this is you then? My plan was surely fool proof this time.”

“Then it obviously wouldn’t work since you are a fool.”

They were avoiding the question, which gave Dazai all the information he needed to know. Of course it had been them.

Ties that Bind. A thread manipulation technique that had incredible defensive and offensive capabilities. Virtually limitless from distance. Practically indestructible bindings. And one other very special technique.

‘Threads’ were not only bestowed upon [Y/N] in the literal sense. They were also metaphorical. Through their ability they could connect and manipulate the secret threads of life between people for their own gain. Relationships. Consciousness. Memories. And yes, even, the intangible thread of life force. If they put their mind to it.

“Why won’t you just let me die?” Dazai asked them. He wasn’t begging. He was still too proud to beg for death. “It must be a terrible drain keeping my thread intact all this time.”

“Don’t act all pious by pretending it would be my benefit to let you die. If I can stop your idiocy, for as long as I can, I will.” They turned to walk away, and of course Dazai followed. He’d already tried to kill himself once today. He didn’t like a double show. “Where would I be without you, Dazai? You just plan to leave me alone?”

“I offered to have you come with me, but you refused.” He replied. Shrugging his shoulders like he’d asked them to come with him to a café, not the other side. “I even offered to let you choose how. Or to use your ability. Being bound together for all eternity by your invisible threads sounds like a wonderful way to go!”

[Y/N] hmphed. “I don’t want to die like you Dazai. I know I can’t stop it forever. But I don’t want to speed it along.”

The tall brunette shrugged at that. Respecting their decision. “I suppose, for now, I can’t either. With you keeping my thread whole, I guess I’ll have to stick around longer.”

“Is it really that horrible living Dazai?”

He wanted to tell them yes but…when he looked into their eyes, all he could think of was, “no. I guess not horrible.”

[chuuyrr]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ SANTA DOESN'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO — DAZAI OSAMU ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

𐙚₊ CW(s): f! reader, exes to lovers, angst to fluff/comfort, christmas/holiday setting, he still calls you pet names like baby, love, and sweetheart

𐙚₊˚⊹ SYNOPSIS: underneath the twinkling christmas lights, you and osamu embrace the promise of a love rekindled

𐙚₊ NOW PLAYING: santa doesn't know you like i do by sabrina carpenter && new years day by taylor swift ᝰ.ᐟ

in the heart of yokohama, where the winter winds whispered secrets and the city adorned itself in festive lights, you find yourself wandering around in a deep sigh, clutching yourself with your coat adorning you.

the city exuded warmth, and the scent of roasted chestnuts, gingerbread, and an open fire from christmas markets and stores mingled with the laughter of children and adults enjoying the holidays.

as you strolled through the festive scene, you couldn't escape the echoes of your shared past with dazai.

you then stop in front of a familiar bar which was decorated with bright christmas lights and wreaths, and at that moment, you find yourself lost in a sea of memories, reminiscing about the shared moments with osamu, before the inevitable drift that led to your breakup.

among those recollections, two particular scenes painted themselves vividly in your mind, haunting yet bittersweet.

one memory that lingered like a gentle melody was the night you and osamu ventured into the same dimly lit bar, saying that you two deserve a treat.

the air hummed with the soulful tunes of saxophones and pianos as you two nestled into a corner booth. the ambient glow cast a warm aura, reflecting in dazai's brown sugar eyes as you and him clinked glasses of your high-ball whiskeys, toasting to the beauty of the night.

your laughter resonated with the rhythm of the music, creating a symphony of shared joy. osamu, with his enigmatic smile, leaned in to whisper secrets that only you could understand amidst the jazz-infused atmosphere.

it was a night where time seemed to suspend, and your connection deepened through the language of music, laughter, and stories which lead to a shared kiss that became your first.

another memory that tugged at the corners of your heart was the night you spent at osamu's apartment. the air was thick with familiarity as you found solace in the haven he had crafted, even if it was quite empty and rather mininalist, considering how he didn't have much.

either way, you and osamu talked about everything and nothing, the conversation weaving effortlessly between trivialities and profound truths—some even about his day at work, how annoying working on reports was. you even find yourself dancing with him around his kitchen in the middle of the night.

as that night unfolded, osamu's clothes became a comforting embrace, wrapping you in the scent of familiarity. wearing his oversized shirt, you found a sense of closeness, a tangible reminder of the intimacy you once shared.

the cityscape outside his window faded into the background as you and him reveled in the simplicity of being together in his futon, you in his warm embrace, head tucked beneath his chin as you lay on his chest, and he hummed a peacefully melody with his fingers running through your hair to lull you.

the quiet hum of his apartment became a sanctuary in those stolen hours, and even he thought it became a place he could call home when it was previously simply a scarcely filled space, and now it felt more than that. that is, until the fall arrived.

it was a night where the barriers between you and him melted away, leaving only the echoes of whispered confessions of "i love yous" and sweet nothings, along with the soft rustle of borrowed clothes.

now, you stand alone with the weight of these memories, you couldn't help but wonder if those moments were fragments of a love that had slipped through your fingers.

the bar and the borrowed clothes became artifacts of a time when you and osamu reveled in the magic of each other's company, a magic that time, circumstances, and perhaps your own choices had dimmed.

and still, you held onto those memories, recognizing them as delicate fragments of a past that was, in its own way, a testament to the beauty of what you two once had.

the air was crisp, and the city bustled with the festive energy of the holiday season, and you were about to turn away from the bar only to walk and bump into a familiar figure.

there, in the midst of the bustling crowd, stood dazai, and time seemed to freeze for an instant as your eyes met his ever same, warm brown sugar eyes, and the weight of unspoken words lingered in the air—a moment suspended in the delicate dance between past and present.

"osamu," you murmur softly, the name escaping your lips almost as a reflex. his gaze, once distant, softened with a recognition that mirrored your own.

a tentative smile played on his lips, a silent acknowledgment of the shared history that bounds you both, "hey, fancy meeting you here," he remarks, his voice carrying the hint of a memory you both couldn't escape.

as the crowd flowed around you and dazai, you find yourself standing in a pocket of stillness, a space where the weight of your past lingered.

"what are you doing out here? looking for presents, dear?" dazai strikes a conversation, but you can tell he seemed to be trying to hold himself back. you can tell he was very much ecstatic to see you again despite before.

"no, i was just going for a walk," you respond, rubbing your arm as you blink softly at him.

"just going for a walk this holiday, huh?" he narrows his eyes, a small chuckle escaping his breath, and his gaze soon draws towards the bar where you two would go for a drink, dine, and date.

like a canvas of unread stories, his eyes then hold, a mix of emotions, "funny how memories have a way of catching up with us," he replies, his gaze tracing the invisible threads that connected your past to this chance encounter.

"you know, sometimes, i do wonder if our memories are trying to tell us something," dazai muses, his words resonating with a quiet introspection as you two stood there, grappling with the unspoken question of what these chance encounters meant.

dazai's eyes, once filled with the mischievous sparkle that characterized him, now furrows in a subtle frown as he observed your quiet and somewhat awkward demeanor. the cheerful and festive background chatter of the city around you seemed to fade, leaving only the palpable tension between you and him.

"so," dazai began, a playful lilt in his voice as if attempting to break the uneasy silence, "you've become the epitome of quiet contemplation, i see. is this a new tactic to throw off my deductive skills?" his words were accompanied by a teasing smile, a familiar attempt to coax you into banter.

however, your response remained trapped in the awkwardness that seemed to have enveloped you. reminiscing memories had resurrected emotions that you struggled to articulate, and the weight of unspoken words hung in the air.

his playful demeanor faded slightly, replaced by a genuine concern mirrored in the subtle downturn of his lips. "heh, you're usually more... animated," he mutters, his gaze searching for clues in the quietness that now defined you.

"i guess i've changed, dazai," you mumble, attempting to offer an explanation for the unspoken shift in your dynamic. the words, however, felt inadequate, like leaves carried away by the wind before they could settle.

dazai's eyebrows knit together in a mild frustration, especially when you no longer address him as such, "change, my love, is a curious thing. but this quiet version of you doesn't quite suit the narrative i had in mind," he teases, yet the tease carried an undercurrent of genuine curiosity.

as he continued to speak, the air between you two seemed to thicken with unspoken tension. his attempts at light banter fell against the backdrop of my quiet contemplation, creating a dissonance that neither of you anticipated.

a sigh escapes him, a subtle acknowledgment of the unforeseen awkwardness, "i thought we could maybe reminisce and laugh about old times, but it seems like i've stumbled upon a different scene altogether," his frown deepening.

in that moment, the vulnerability beneath dazai's usual charm became apparent. the frown on his face reflected not just confusion but a genuine longing for the familiarity, the connection that once flowed effortlessly between the two of you.

"hey, since we're already in front of the bar we used to frequent, do you mind sharing a drink with me tonight?" he asked, his tone carrying a mix of nostalgia and vulnerability.

your eyes widen a bit in shock. you know you shouldn't, but it just feels so right to say,

"no, i don't mind at all."

memories of laughter, music, and stolen glances resurfaced, painting a vivid scene against the backdrop of the night in the bar of cozy glow of christmas lights and laughter and merriment, yet the weight of those moments hanging in the air.

dazai's gaze became more introspective, his words chosen with care as the two of you sat together by the bar on the cushioned stools with your usual high-ball whiskeys.

"you know, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about us and everything that happened," he starts quietly after taking a sip from his drink, "there are words left unsaid, and i think it's time to address them."

as dazai spoke, a rare sincerity colored his voice, unraveling the layers of complexity that often shrouded his emotions, and the night now became a stage for a conversation that held the potential for healing.

"i suppose so," you say back quietly as you swirl your drink around, holding it by the rim and making the ice cube clink against the glass.

you turn to look at dazai, and you see him a take a deep breath as he places his hands in the pocket of his sandy brown coat.

"i want to say sorry," dazai continues, his eyes searching yours for a reaction, "sorry for the moments i let slip away, for the words i said and didn't say, and for the distance that grew between us, and i never meant for it to end like that.."

the rare vulnerability in his admission hung in the air, a bridge between the past and the present. the ambiance of the bar now stood witness to a moment of genuine confession.

"and i miss you," dazai confesses, his gaze never leaving yours, and you can hear the sincerity in his voice, "i miss the laughter, the shared silences, and the way you understood the chaos within me, and if i can be completely honest, i still love you."

the weight of those words settled in the air, carrying with them the echoes of a love that had weathered storms and yet lingered in the recesses of the past. the quietness between you two even seemed to amplify the significance of the moment, as if the universe itself conspired to create a space for the honesty that had long been overdue.

your heart, a mosaic of emotions, responded to his words, caught between the scars of the past and the possibility of a future rewritten.

you, too, couldn't deny the resonance between you and him, "i guess, christmas has a way of making even the coldest hearts nostalgic," you say in a quiet giggle, your gaze meeting his.

the chilly night seemed to warm however.

"i'm sorry too. i'm sorry for giving up on us," you sigh, taking sip of your drink for liquid courage as the unspoken words became spoken now, "i just, it felt like there was no other way, and that this is for the best for us, osamu."

"you called me osamu again," a smile now tugs on his lips, his eyes lighting up with hope.

"oh, shut up," a smile, too, breaks on your face but you sigh softly once more as you look at him once more, "but i mean every word, osamu."

"i know you do, sweetheart," dazai says with a nod before he raises his glass to you.

"yeah," you hum softly as your raise the glass in return to his, toasting to him.

amidst the snowflakes and the soft glow of christmas lights outside, dazai and you find yourselves in the midst of an unexpected reunion, the chilly air echoed with warm memories, and beneath the twinkling stars.

this festive season really had a peculiar way of unraveling emotions, and as you crossed paths with dazai and it was evident that the connection between you two was more than a mere coincidence.

after a heartfelt conversation of unspoken words between you two with a few drinks at the bar, dazai offered to take you back to your place since it was quite late despite the holidays.

however, in a quiet corner just near your place, away from the laughter and merriment, dazai's eyes met yours as he walked right by your side.

"what is it?" you ask, looking up at him.

a subtle smirk plays on his lips as he pauses his tracks, and so do you, "you know, santa doesn't know you like i do."

it was a statement layered with memories of shared secrets and intimate moments.

as you exchanged glances, the familiarity of your history danced between you two, like a delicate snowfall. you genuinely smile nonetheless at his words, "maybe we've been on the naughty list for too long," you teased, a hint of nostalgia in your voice.

dazai took a step closer, his hand reaching for yours, "and santa may not understand us, but perhaps we can rewrite our story," he suggests, his gaze holding a sincerity that transcended the mask of indifference he often wore, "yeah?"

surrounded by the symphony of the season, you can't help but feel a little emotional as a genuine smile tugs on your lips as you nod and whisper, "yeah."

the clock struck midnight, time reaches its crescendo, and the world around you both seemed to pause in reverence to the magic of christmas, and just like that, coincidentally beneath the mistletoe that was hanging on the street light, his arms wrap around you and pulls you to him.

dazai's lips then meets yours in a kiss that spoke in volumes—a reunion of past and present, a bridge between shared memories and the promise of a love rediscovered.

as you two pull away, breathless, the quiet acknowledgment between you two lingered in the cold air of christmas eve. snow falls as he leans in again, and dazai holds you in his embrace like he always does.

"merry christmas, my sweet girl. i love you," dazai softly whispers in your ear before planting a kiss on your cheek this time around.

𐙚₊ A.N.: advanced merry christmas from yours truly my lovelies ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰ hope ya'll enjoy this christmas dazai fic i cooked in the kitchen—this is also my first time writing an exes to lovers fic, especially with dazai, so yeah !!

𐙚₊ TAGGING: @anqelically (here's ur food <3), && @dazaiyohane @lovedazai @osaemu (my dazai lover moots too ofc hehe, i think you guys will like this- ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ )

[devillexi]

Walking In On Their S/O Masturbate

BSD Headcanons

Warning: degradation, use of the word slut, extremely smutty, afab reader, etc.

Hope you enjoy!

Dazai:

• Usually after work, Dazai liked to hang out at your place, so he could tell you all about his day.

• But he didn't expect to find you pleasuring yourself in bed. You were so preoccupied with chasing after your own release that you didn't notice him standing in the doorway.

• He was in a trance really. Seeing your fingers work so desperately, in and out, opening your pretty pussy. Your slick pooling underneath you, leaving a wet spot on the bed. It was a magnificent sight to come home to.

• He couldn't take just watching any longer when you started whimpering his name, frustrated with how your fingers weren't enough compared to his cock that would often ravage, wreck, and destroy your pussy.

• You were startled out of your stupor when you felt something touch your hand and gasped when you saw it was Dazai. Your face blew up in a sea of red as you asked him how long had he been there.

• His answer: "Just long enough to get me hard, my belladonna. If your pretty fingers aren't enough to satisfy you, then I'll replace them with something that will."

• It's a long week before you could finally walk properly after that.

Chuuya:

• You little minx...! How could you masturbate without him!? You know he likes to watch.

• As punishment for touching yourself without his explicit permission, he uses his ability on you to lift you off the bed. An absolutely startling surprise for you as you had no idea he was there.

• You shrieked and called out his name in surprise. He smirked as he watched you desperately tried to sturdy yourself but you were in the air. What could you possibly balance yourself on?

• "My naughty kitten...what was that you were just doing a moment ago?"

• "Ch-Chuuya!? Put me down!"

• "Not until you finish that little performance you were doing. Ah, what was it? Stuffing your fucking cunt without my supervision!"

• You were ticked off for being interrupted. You were so close to reaching your high!

• You wanted to be let down, but this position of being suspended in mid air with your legs open was tempting as well.

• Chuuya could see it in your eyes and smirked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "Why don't you go ahead and show me just how you were pleasuring yourself, huh? Lemme see, baby."

• His husky voice, heavy with lust, tempted you and you brought your hands back to your soaking cunt.

• "That's it, baby," he coaxed you, a tightness forming in his pants as you held his gaze. He licked his lips as you circled your fingers around your clit and groaned out, "Do a good job and I'll reward you good, baby."

• "Promise, Chuu?"

• "Oh, it's a promise. Now work those fingers and cum for me. I want to see you dripping on this fucking floor."

Rampo:

• His deduction skills was what lead him here in front of your bedroom door as it stood open, slightly ajar. You see, Rampo had noticed a couple of changes that had him curious. Whenever he came by, he noticed that your sheets would be replaced and there was often a heavily perfume smell in the room. Now the sheets by themselves wouldn't have been a clue if it wasnt for the fact that you change them before he arrives, every other day. And the heavy fragrant smell was just the tip of the iceberg. So naturally he became curious about what you were hiding from him, but he already knew what it was.

• He watched as you plunged your pink dildo into your tight heat. Your legs trembling as they laid wide open for the whole world to see. He watched as your dainty fingers circled your clit as you repeatedly sunk your dildo deeper and deeper.

• He knew that this was what you were doing but his poor feelings were still hurt. Why masturbate when he can give you just what you need? Was your little toy more satisfying than his cock? He thinks the fuck not. He becomes increasingly angry at the thought of you masturbating and pleasuring yourself without his permission. Your pussy belongs to him.

• Unable and unwilling to witness such travesty, he barged into your room, startling you.

• "So this is what you've been up to? You've been so sneaky I almost had the wrong impression that you were cheating on me!," he glared. Your heated face flushed an even more bright crimson.

• "Ra-Rampo, I thought-"

• "Save it. I think you're in need of a punishment," he said as he stalked over, taking hold of your dildo as he stared you down. "This filthy thing's been hogging my pussy. Who gave you permission to do this, slut?"

• You stammered, stumbling over your words, unable to give him a proper answer. It didn't matter though as Rampo removed the offensive thing, forcing it out of you and making you yelp. He discarded it haphazardly in the corner of your room.

• "If you're gonna please this cunt, it's only going to be through me. I guess I gotta teach you who this pussy belongs to, huh?"

• You could only whimper as your legs were spread and Rampo slid in between. You could see the fury and lust swirl behind his eyes as he eyed how soaking wet you were.

• "So disappointing," he sighed, already unbuckling his belt. "Who knew you'd go behind my back like this, you little slut?"

[sickficideas]

Hello it’s me Rui again! You’ve been so good to me recently for absolutely no reason at all but your own kindness. But I’m here to share some sickfics with you and the wonderful lurking community that looks at your page. 

In my opinion, I think that finding good bsd sickfics is actually really hard. So many of them are too short, not enough buildup, emit enough suffering… you get the idea. I tend to find that sickfics are best (in my opinion) when there is good buildup and absolute suffering that then elicits care :]

I have 411 (mainly soukoku) bookmarks, that vary between hurt/comfort and sickfics. (Most are hurt/comfort because sickfics that I like are hard to find). I’ve spent an unholy amount of time going through thousands of bsd fics to find satisfactory sickfics, and I thought I’d share them here for anyone else who struggles finding them <3

Mainly focusing on emeto fics for this blog because that’s what the central topic here is lol. I hope you enjoy some of my stash! If you end up liking it, maybe I can share my larger stash of hurt/comfort. I wish this category wasn’t so sparse.

» Nothing || Fraink5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365941

A sadder fic with a bit less emeto. TW for major character death. I know it’s not exactly emeto, but it has its moments, and I find that this short little fic provides some of the same things that standard emeto fics do. Definitively worth the read if you’re in the right headspace for character death.

» Nebulous || way1203 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

Beautiful Chuuya sickfic oneshot. It’s about the aftermath of corruption. There’s a lot of delirium, sometimes it is hard to suspend my disbelief, but I still enjoy this one a lot.

» You’re a Canary, I’m a Coal Mine || PlayRough - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

One of the more popular bsd sickfics writers, but I found myself needed to include this fic. It is quite long, but it’s basically just Dazai suffering from sickness and Chuuya assisting him. I’m ashamed to say this has become one of my bedtime stories.

» surely i’ll go bite the dirty dust || lizzielovessharks - https://archiveofourown.org/works/36533236

I can confidently proclaim this as one of the most criminally underrated bsd sickfics I’ve ever had the honour of discovering. Chuuya and Dazai are severely injured after a mission, Chuuya can hardly walk, and he’s sick. They just get so tormented but there’s so much comfort in this short and sweet fic. The ending always makes me smile, and I find myself coming back to this one very often.

» In Sickness and In Heath || TheShortestAlchemist - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48006802

Chuuya taking care of Dazai :]

Less emeto but still provides much comfort for the soul. 

» I’ll Take Care of You || Anonymous - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49949443

Sorry this one isn’t emeto either… but it’s chuuya being torment by Arahabaki so much that he gets a migraine that renders him unable to do anything. Still fulfills many sickfics desires.

» Poisoned Valentine || Wolf___Spirit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768785

Someone tries to send Chuuya home with poisoned chocolates with the intent to kill. However Dazai ends up eating them first, thus causing him to endure a lot of pain. (Read this honestly it’s wonderful)

» Burning Out || Trinity_of_Madness - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899161

Long term corruption side effects… that’s all I’m gonna say. Take it or leave it as you see fit :] (it’s very fluffy, however it is quite bittersweet in case that’s not what you’re looking for)

» crimson headache, aching blush || kaiunkaiku - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

More post corruption. Chuuya really needs a hug. He gets one. (Recommend reading lol)

» Underwater || TheGreatCatsby - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

I’m so sorry. Not as much of a sickfic, but gosh it has to be one of my favourite comfort oneshots to ever exist. Chuuya does have a small emeto moment though. Ahhhh I’m so sorry for getting off track in these recommendations, I just have so many 🪦

» A Joyless Ride || calmlb - https://archiveofourown.org/works/55224694

This one is beautiful. I personally love the motion sickness Dazai headcannon. And this does a perfect job at demonstrating it. Dazai and Chuuya are on a mission, but they have to escape via Chuuya’s motorcycle. Dazai gets motion sickness that Chuuya had not considered.

» on standby for you || lonelydoctors - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48558496

Chuuya is hit with a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him while he suffers. I really enjoyed this one. 

» Flashover || affectropia - https://archiveofourown.org/works/35640841

Bittersweet concept that is the reason behind this fic being a sickfic. However, it has a fluffy ending, and is only the care taking half of it. 

» beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall || saanoir

This fic has to be another criminally underrated one. It’s the insomniac Dazai headcannon, except he starts feeling badly. All alone, he remembers a promise him and Chuuya made years ago. Hurt, even more comfort.

» I Think I’ll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks || huntersserenity - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27219268

Chuuya has a drink poisoned. He is disoriented and not very functioning, but Dazai is there to assist him like he always is. (Very good, underrated, highly highly recommend)

Andd that’s all I got for now! Aside from another wonderful writers works that I didn’t include. Their username is ringingmaybelles and they make very very quality sickfics. Definitely read their work if you want the best there is to offer.

I’m sorry for the long list, I hope it is helpful/enjoyable. Sorry to come back and bother you with this essay. Thank you for letting me share these for the fellow sickfic enjoyers 😭😭😭

(Apologies in advance for the links not working I’m sorry ahh, you’d have to put it into your browser qwq)

RUI!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for us 💖💖💖 hehehe...you're so sweet🙈🙈

I know a lot of people on this blog loooove SKK as well, and you've included many sick Chuuya fics here which I find more difficult to come across...this hand selected list is so beautiful and I really appreciate all of the effort you went through to give this to us 🥺💖

It took me a little bit to get to this ask chronologically between all the asks in my inbox but here are clickable links compiled for everyone's ease, since tumblr asks took yours away hahaha!!

I've included short summaries from the fic's original summaries along with Rui's descriptions, but please head the warnings and tags on the fics themselves!

Enjoy and share with fellow SKK sickfic enjoyers :))) I haven't read many of these and I'm so excited to dive in 🙏 let me know if any of the links are wrong so I can fix them, and if any of these authors see this and want to be tagged on tumblr ;)

Nothing by Fraink5

"Chuuya wakes up with a terrible fever--except he can't stay awake. Dazai is determined to keep Chuuya from losing consciousness, but how long will it last?"

Nebulous by way1203

"Chuuya struggles with the aftermath of using Corruption too many times and Dazai helps him through it."

You're a Canary, I'm a Coal Mine by PlayRough

"Super self indulgent Dazai sickfic."

surely i'll go bite the dirty dust by lizzielovessharks

" "Come on Chuuya," He muttered quietly as they felt themself having to pull Chuuya harder and harder to keep up, "Just a little bit further." -- or more Chuuya angst :) "

In Sickness and In Health by TheShortestAlchemist

"Dazai is sick and Chuuya takes care of him like the loving bf he is~"

I'll Take Care of You by toucheslikethesun

"Dazai walks into the ADA to find a desperate and distressed Chuuya looking for him, haunted by Arahabaki and having been unable to sleep for a long time."

Poisoned Valentine by Wolf__Spirit

"On Valentine's Day, Dazai steals and eats some chocolates that were given to Chuuya in the mafia. Turns out they were poisoned chocolates."

Burning Out by Trinity_of_Madness

" “Chuuya… We have to go…” Dazai whispered and pulled him up unwillingly. -- Chuuya held his hand, followed his guide with his usual smile on his face. Dazai’s chest tightened painfully at the sight, and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling him into a tight embrace."

crimson headache by kaiunkaiku

"the aftermath of corruption is its own kind of hell."

Underwater by TheGreatCatsby

"Chuuya has never liked water, but he never thought about why."

A Joyless Ride by calmlb

"Dazai hates motorcycles but right now he doesn’t have a choice. It does not go well"

on standby for you by lonelydoctors

"Chuuya gets hit by a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him"

Flashover by affetropia

"Dazai tried again. Now, he gotta to deal with the pain, and Chuuya is there. He always is there when he needs."

beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall by saanoir

"Dazai, in the midst of suffering another bout of insomnia, remembers a promise he made to Chuuya a long time ago -- to go to him when he's feeling bad."

I Think I'll Just Collaspe Right Here, Thanks by huntersserenity

" ‘ ‘Samu,’ Chuuya groaned. ‘Wanna take a nap.’ -- ‘You can’t nap right now, darling,’ Dazai said." "

The end 🏁 Enjoy!!

[philzokman]

i got bored here’s a comprehensive list of my favourite facts about some of the irl authors from bsd :D

- chuuya and ango got into an argument and were going to duel, but the duel was cancelled due to chuuyas height

- chuuya, though 5”3 in bsd, was 4”9 irl 😢 heartbreaking </3 KDHSJS

- chuuya was an aggressive drunk and akutagawa got drunk after literally a sip of cider </3

- skk FULLY hated each other, they once had a conversation where chuuya asked dazai his favourite flower to which dazai, sobbing, responded peach flower

- when dazai and chuuya worked together for a literary magazine and it flopped dazai said it was because he worked with chuuya LFKAHMS

- dazai at one point though did have a lot of respect for chuuya however !

- yosano and mori were actually rlly close friends to the point that yosano asked mori to name her twins for her :”]

- akutagawa was a maths tutor. dots.

- dazai and akutagawa might’ve been bisexual !!!

- dazai wanted to win the akutagawa award (very prestigious prize for literature) so badly he wrote a letter that was 4”1 in length to haruo sati (dazais mentor and judge of the award) begging to win the award

- when he didn’t win it, he sent another letter to kawabata (if i’m not mistaken) later saying, quote, “i’ll stab him”

- Rimbaud considered his mother the 'mother of darkness' and when he and his sister passed, she lay herself to rest in between them (whilst she was still alive) to, quote, see how it felt HFDJKS

- ango got suspended from his school for punching a teacher in the face and for (allegedly) making a 2 foot tall snow statue of a dick outside his school when he was 15

- oda loved curry so much that when he died a quote came about saying “when a tiger dies, it leaves it’s skin behind; when oda died, he left curry rice behind”

- lupin is a real bar that still exists in ginza, japan, that dazai oda and ango did regularly visit :”]]]]

hope u enjoyed !! i got most of these facts from the bsd bibliophile, bungo to alchemist wiki and twitter :D god i lvoe literature MDHSJS

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Little Sister Ch21 and Ch22

Double Upload:

Chapter 21: "Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"

Summary: Mori starts to realize a change in Dazai, although it is not the change he wants so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Chuuya (unfortunately) gets another run in with the mackerel's girlfriend, expect this time she may be more useful than he first believed.

Chapter 22: "Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"

Summary: Chuuya has to swallow his pride and do the one thing he never wanted to do, ask Dazai's crazy ass girlfriend for help on a mission to ensure that he can finally find out if he's human or not. The question is, will she accept, especially when it goes against everything her brother wanted for her?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy)

(This is chapter twenty one and twenty-two of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3

A03 Here

Work Count: 15k

Chapter 21:

"Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"

Dazai was no longer the same after that kiss. 

In fact, it would be easy to say that the event that had shaken his entire world completely in both the worst and best possible ways imaginable.  

Because right now, the boy was an absolute mess, in all the seemingly possible routes that could be conjured up. He couldn’t think about anything else, couldn’t process anything else except that small suspended moment in time from a couple nights ago. 

He was supposed to be in charge, he was always supposed to control the situations he had walked into but right now Dazai felt anything but that. Hell, the moment he touched her lips any sense of dignity or self respect flew right out the window, making him submit to her without a second thought. Like a loser, like a little bottom bitch. 

He hated it, he hated himself for silently begging for more inside his head. 

For wanting her to continue, to push his head directly down into the drowning ocean so he could die between those lips forever. Ugh, just thinking about it was making his head spin and his hands twitch against his will.

What was wrong with him? What was he even thinking? He was the demon prodigy, the one everyone feared, the one that was supposed to be on top at all times but somehow he had sunken so far below that it was hard to even breathe anymore without thinking about her. 

He told her that the kiss was the same, that it was just like the other million he had before but that it was an absolute flat out lie, a defense mechanism. Because this feeling, this utter destruction in his mind was absolutely not the same. 

In fact, it was so far from what usually occurred. He had never gotten so attached before, so utterly consumed by a mere kiss. It was like his mind was registering it as his first, even though that was hardly the case.

Hell, even his first kiss wasn’t like this. He could even hardly remember it to be honest. Perhaps it had something to do with a job or a seduction of some kind? Dazai hardly had the capacity to remember anything about it, the event so insignificant in his mind. 

But this? He still remembered every single second, every pathetic feeling in his mind, every recollection of her touch like it had happened only seconds ago. It was torture, the boy reliving the experience over and over on repeat, unable to turn it off. 

Reaching up in order to pull on the messy brown strands of hair, Dazai felt his lips give a frustrated groan as he tried to anchor himself to reality.

He was losing it, finally losing it, going insane. He could feel the walls, the defenses of the demon slip away ever so quickly, leaving only a frazzled and flustered sixteen year old boy in its place.

And he hated it, he hated how weak she made him feel, how utterly stripped away and vulnerable she managed to make him. 

He had tried for years to cover himself so deep that no one could ever see the pathetic unsure little boy beneath it all but somehow Asagao always managed to get through the layers, to reveal and uncover the things he so desperately wanted to keep buried for his own safety. 

Feelings of uncertainty, of nervousness, of fear, they all had to be locked away, the demon prodigy didn’t need them, the port mafia executive didn’t need them. They weren’t necessary for survival in the underworld.

 In fact if it was the opposite, if anyone saw them then they could be turned into weapons, weaknesses that could cause the destruction of himself and that protected kid under all the armor he had built for himself. 

He knew that, because that was the first thing Dazai ever exploited when he was on the other side of that knife. It’s only logical that they would do the same. The world was cruel after all, wicked in every single way. Any amount of light was made to be crushed by enemy hands. 

Mafioso couldn’t have weaknesses, so why was Asagao becoming his? 

And he feared what would happen if he kissed her a second time. Would he just fall apart all over again, would he once again beg and crumble at her feet for another sweet piece of heaven? It was making himself sick just thinking about it.

No, that could not happen again, no matter how much his entire mind and body wanted it. That’s not who he was, he wasn’t a pathetic lovesick fool. 

It had to be the alcohol in his system that made him feel so off. Yes, that’s what it was, why he had acted so out of character. Hell, he bet if he kissed her again things would go back to how they used to be. 

Just like with all of those other women, he could prove that she wasn’t so special. He’d be able to switch off this horrible part of his mind and switch back to the playboy routine he had perfected time and time again.

No one could make the demon prodigy crumble, especially not Odasaku’s little sister. 

And though his confidence flickered back to life for a millisecond, anxiety soon filled the space, leaving him uncertain once more. 

That’s what should happen, but what if it didn’t? What if kissing her again didn’t make a goddamn difference? 

What if he truly was just that weak to her? Then he didn’t know what he’d do.  

Pulling on his hair once more, Dazai’s face began to redden at the idea before throwing his head straight into the table in front him, groaning into the wood with a pathetic whine of his own runaway thoughts. 

Yet that’s when he heard a voice to his left, snapping him from his own chaotic thoughts. “Dazai, is there something you’d like to share?” 

Mori’s presence suddenly became extremely prominent, causing the boy to snap his head up from the table only to remember where he was. Oh yeah, he was in a meeting with Mori and a bunch of other mafia guys. He was too zoned out to notice. 

So much so, that everyone in the room was now staring at the boy, all of them around too scared to point out the strange and out of character behavior of the supposed “demon prodigy” as they remained silent. 

And to be completely honest, Dazai didn’t know what the hell this meeting was about, his mind far too focused on thoughts of Asagao to even pick out one thing since he sat down. 

So, he did what he always did. He lied. “Yes, can you hurry it up? Everything’s just so boring I kinda tuned you out. Besides, I got a new suicide method I wanna try after this and you’re taking forever..” 

Everyone around him began to stiffen, surprised and fearful for how plainly he was speaking to the boss. It took a lot of balls for sure, they certainly couldn’t do it. 

Mori seemed to have expected it though, his dark eyes moving to the boy for a second before a smile curved into his lips. “Right, sorry Dazai. I suppose this discussion has dragged on quite a bit. Meeting adjourned for now.” 

All the other mafia members immediately stood from their seats at that, wanting to leave the room as fast as possible only for Mori to call back to the boy casually.” Dazai, I would like for you to stay a little longer.

Dazai frowned at that, watching everyone else leave at lightning speed before the two were alone in the large office room, the boy still in his seat as Mori stood to tower over him in a show of power. “There seems to be something occupying your mind lately. Would you like to share what it is?” 

And there was no way he was going to tell Mori about the inner turmoil inside his mind. No way in hell, especially when it involved someone that the boss wasn’t ever supposed to know existed. “Occupying my mind? Yeah right, the only things ever on my mind are how to piss off Chuuya the most and figuring out exciting new ways of committing suicide!” 

Mori only hummed though, moving around to place his hand on the top of Dazai’s chair and the other on the desk in front of the boy, boxing him in. “Hmm is that so? Are you sure that’s all? There isn’t another distraction mulling around in that brain of yours?” 

Narrowing his eyes, the mafia boss gauged Dazai’s response, waiting to see the subtleties in the boy’s expressions and the fractured changes that only came with years of closely guarded interactions and conversations. 

It was no secret that there had been a shift in his favorite executives' behavior recently, although it wasn’t a change that Mori was necessarily fond of. 

You see, Dazai was a strange boy, one that had always been in a realm of his own but he never strayed too far from the path that was designed for him. He was known and expected to be cruel, lethal, boarding inhuman, the perfect fit for the dark world of the mafia. 

But lately, a minuscule mutation had occurred and Mori could see the beginnings of a crack, of a fracture in the usual exterior that was supposed to be Dazai Osamu. 

No, the demon prodigy, the ruthless and emotionless weapon that he had created and slowly crafted had been slowly whittling away by the day into something softer, weaker and undesirable for the purpose that Mori had been slowly cultivating unseen from the surface. 

And the boss had expected a change to occur in the boy after Oda Sakunosuke’s death. He had predicted that much. Mori had expected Dazai to ultimately break, to shatter under the weight of his own grief of his fallen friend, to become a lost soul that Mori could pick up and nurture back into a self made dependance by his own design.

He had been ready for it, arms opened wide for the vulnerable bandaged boy to fall into. 

But that hadn’t happened at all. 

In fact, a different outcome happened instead, one that Mori hadn’t expected. 

Because Dazai hadn’t shattered, he wasn’t destroyed like intended, something else had occurred instead. But why? What had he not accounted for? What had latched onto the boy before he could? Some sort of leach that was for sure, some sort of other vice for Dazai’s dependence. But what?

Mori didn't know yet, but he was determined to find out. To find the source of his current projects wavering miscalculation. 

Mori was almost never wrong, and the fact that he was in this situation was very frustrating to him. He needed to fix it immediately, to get his little demon prodigy back on track for his plan to come back to fruition. 

And it would, it would come into fruition, simply because that’s what Mori wanted.  

And Mori always got what he wanted. 

Noticing the changes in his expression, Mori then rephrased his inquiry, sensing that Dazai didn’t want to reveal his reason for his out of character act. That was fine, he could improvise. “Because if you did have a nasty distraction occupying the back of your mind, I could help remedy that.” 

Dazai’s head snapped up at that, disbelief on his face. What, could that be true? Could Mori help with his Asagao malfunction? Could he help him get his head back on straight and get rid of those lingering feelings of dangerous weakness? It almost sounded too good to be true, he was skeptical of it. 

But that did sound appealing, he needed to do something to rid himself of this awful weakness that was cultivating inside him before it consumed him entirely. Otherwise it would be dangerous to himself, and to Odasaku’s little sister both.

And Dazai tried to disguise his hope for the topic, desperate for anything to pull him back together again and not think about that kiss. “And how could you do that?” 

Mori smiled then, the corners of his grin not reaching the end of his lips as he pulled back to stand next to Dazai, relishing in the hooks that he had successfully reattached to the boy. “It’s quite simple really. You just need to remember who you are again, a mental reset if you will, and I know just the thing to reignite that.” 

The boy waited for him to continue and Mori gladly did so. “I have a job that I need done. Something that requires a special set of skills, something I believe you’d fit quite well, Dazai.” 

Dazai only frowned though. That’s what he had, a mission? How boring. It sounded like Mori was just trying to get him to do his dirty work again. Annoying. “That’s it? Just a job?” 

Shaking his head, the boss hummed. “Oh no, not just a job. A special job. One that would require you out of the country and away from that little distraction that has been bothering you so much. You’d be fully immersed in every aspect, with no time for anything but the demon prodigy. Sounds enticing, yes?” 

And yeah, it did sound enticing. To Dazai, it sounded like exactly what he needed. A mission that fully immersed him, that separated him from any other thought in his mind? To relish in the blood and the gore, in the familiar safety net of darkness he’d always known instead of these scary and uncertain feelings that he couldn’t understand? 

It was perfect. 

He could go on this job, run away from the things that made him uncomfortable, get his head on straight and then return to Asagao when everything was back to normal. 

Yet just the sound of her name in his mind made his hands start to twitch with that familiar ugly feeling of withdrawal.

Leaving meant having to forgo their nightly meetings and chats, it meant not hearing her sweet laugh or eating her homemade dinners for a while. It meant pushing himself back to loneliness and isolation instead of feeling protected and safe. 

Safe in her arms, safe in her care. He had to distance himself from all of that. 

And god, just thinking about leaving her, even for a couple days really showed how badly Dazai relied on her to give him any sense of stability in his life. He needed her, he needed her so damn bad, he couldn’t stand it. Asagao had become a piece of him that could no longer be removed from his twisted jagged puzzle. 

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? His dependence on her light, his desperation to be near her, that’s what was ruining everything. Because it wasn’t just about mere friendship or a business transaction based on Odasaku anymore. 

Now Dazai wanted more, his selfish greedy soul wanted all of her. 

Not just to talk and laugh but to kiss and hold, to embrace and worship. He wanted her body, mind and soul, her everything, and that was something that Dazai could not allow. Not to Odasaku’s precious little sister, not to the last remaining piece of his best friend that still lingered in this world. 

The feelings he harbored, the lines he was crossing would destroy them both if he didn’t fix them right now. He needed to fix it, for his sake and for hers before those lines disappeared and they condemned themselves to hell forever. 

It was going to be hard, so incredibly hard but he could do it, Dazai could leave for both their sakes. Not permanently, that wasn’t an option anymore, but he could distance himself enough to get back on track, to dissipate the feelings inside him enough where they could regress back of their safe friendship bubble once more. 

Rebuild his defenses, reconstruct his walls. That’s right, Mori was giving him an opportunity, a chance to remember who he was. He wasn’t some weak, lovesick fool, he was the demon prodigy. The strong, inhuman and indestructible demon prodigy. 

And no one, not even Asagao could change that. He’d prove it. 

Snapping his eyes back to Mori, Dazai feigned indifference for the topic, even though every muscle inside him was pleading to take his offer like a lifeline. “I guess I could do it. Just as long as it’s not boring or dumb.” 

But it didn’t matter if his exterior was impassible, Mori still saw the flicker of desperation in his un bandaged eye, the way the boy clung onto his offer with everything he had.

And Mori relished in the expression. There it was, the dependance. “I assure you, it will be anything but. Now run along, you have much to do to prepare. I expect great results, demon prodigy.” 

Then the boss watched Dazai slowly stand from his seat in a fake act of nonchalance before heading out the door, clearly eager to start his mind distracting mission. 

And when he was gone, the boss slowly circled around to Dazai’s empty chair before resting his hands on the top before a cold smile spread across his lips. 

That minor miscalculation was bothersome, but it would soon be fixed. 

It was still an unshakable fact after all, 

Mori always got what he wanted. 

-------

While getting ready for his job, Dazai pulled out his phone to call Asagao, his heart skipping a beat as soon as she picked up. “Ah, Samu! What a surprise. What’s new?” 

Trying his best to shake away the confusing and overwhelming feelings in his chest, Dazai cleared his throat before forcing himself to sound nonchalant. “Mori gave me a job. I won’t be around for a while.” 

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Asa replied, just as sweetly as she always did. “Ooh a job? That’s exciting! Don’t worry about me, just be careful, alright?” 

The way she accepted his absence so easily brought a painful knot in his throat. Ah, he was right. He was the only one freaking out about the kiss. She seemed fine. This job was a good decision. 

Giving a dry laugh, Dazai replied. “Ah, you know me, love. Careful is so boring.” 

He heard her light playful laugh in return. “You’re right about that. Let me rephrase that then. Have as much chaos as you want, just be sure to come back after. Better?” 

Dazai then found himself smiling softly in reply without permission, his voice showing his real feeling for a millisecond. “Yeah, better.” 

Widening his eyes at the slip, Dazai then cleared his throat again before hastily adding. “I have to go, bye.” 

And then the boy hung up before feeling his head collapse against the nearest wall with a groan as he closed his eyes in order to calm his ever beating heart. He truly was a mess, in every way possible. 

That mission couldn’t come fast enough.

------

Chuuya was no longer the same after meeting Dazai’s girlfriend. 

He had tried and tried and tried so hard to forget that horrible night, the one where both that shitty mackerel and his psychopath girlfriend played him so badly that he had gotten kidnapped and beaten up for their own entertainment but he simply couldn’t. 

He couldn’t forget it. 

In fact, that little event was like plague in his mind, simply because of one thing and one thing only. Dazai he had expected to be a pain in the ass, but Asagao? Now that was the wild card he hadn’t predicted. 

Who knew a cute dorky glasses wearing girl could turn out just as sick and twisted as Dazai himself? Those two, they perfectly fed off each other in all the worst ways possible. 

But that wasn’t what bothered him the most. What bothered him was far more complicated than a simple hatred for the game that she had pulled. 

It was that face she had made when he called her a freak. 

Because that face, that vulnerable painful look she showed him was nothing like Dazai. But it didn’t make any goddamn sense. She had set up their twisted plot, Dazai and her willingly got all of them kidnapped just to screw over that ex-mafia member. 

Hell she even pretended to be in distress so that Chuuya would have no choice but to agree to that stupid ass nickname she was shoving down his throat since the beginning. She wasn’t a good person and clearly had no remorse for her actions. 

But then why did it look like she was going to cry when he so obviously rejected her? Why did it look like she was having a panic attack and breaking down in front of him? She should’ve known that doing all that shit would make him pissed off. Was she really that stupid, did she truly think that manipulation was equivalent to friendship? 

And Chuuya had tried to tell himself that it was an act, that Asagao’s strange switch in personality was just another method of bullshit. It had to be. 

She had snapped that ex-mafia members' legs like twigs and shot down hundreds of enemies with no feeling, there was no way she was seriously heartbroken and shattered after a simple friendship rejection. That girl was messing with him, even now. He knew it. 

But somewhere in the back of his mind Chuuya was still haunted by it. 

Of the lost, sad look in her face when she apologized for ever asking in the first place, of the quiver in her voice or the shake in her hands when she bowed and walked away.

Chuuya felt himself pull on the strands of his hair in frustration at the memory. Ah, damn it! Why did he feel like shit?! She was the one that manipulated him, played him like nothing. Why in the hell did he feel guilty all of a sudden?! That girl was doing this on purpose, she had to be. Ugh, he hated her so much. 

Stomping down the streets near the port mafia, the ginger haired boy sought out to clear his head to no avail. Those annoying feelings were still there, that stupid sad face still plaguing his vision like a constant nightmare that wouldn’t go away, but he had to try or else he’d go insane. 

Yet that’s when he saw a very familiar head of red messy hair slip into the nearby dark alley only for Chuuya to pause. No, there’s no way in hell. She was not here. Great, was he hallucinating that little psycho now? Oh god, he hoped not. 

Against his better judgment, the mafioso walked over to the alley with the intent to disprove his crazy imagination. He was in port mafia territory, why in the hell would that girl even be here for? Unless she was stalking him now?

And quite honestly he wouldn’t put it past her, considering she was fucking crazy. 

Stepping into the dimly lit alley, Chuuya then paused at the sight before him. No way, it was her alright, Dazai’s girlfriend, and she was being held at knifepoint, like some kind of stick up or robbery. 

And to anyone else, the scene could be seen as concerning. An innocent girl in criminal territory being held at knifepoint in extreme danger? It was a classic damsel in distress situation, one that Chuuya would’ve stopped immediately if she was any normal person. 

But Asagao was anything but normal, and Chuuya knew better than to underestimate and reduce her to a simple princess in trouble. No, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. So he waited. 

Narrowing his eyes out of sight, the ginger remained hidden as he heard Asa speak casually to the criminal, almost like her life wasn't in danger at this very second. “I don’t know, I mean, what should I even do? I could really use some advice here.”

Chuuya then watched the criminal take a step closer to Asagao, his eyes narrowed in frustration as he shouted angrily. “You want some advice? How about you shut your mouth right now before I do it for you!” 

Yet Asagao wasn’t shaken in the slightest, only shaking her head in disappointment as she casually replied. “You know, you aren’t a very good active listener. I’m really dishing my heart out here and I feel like you aren’t paying attention at all.” 

The robber only shook his head in disbelief though, taking a step closer to her with a shout. “What the hell are you going on about?! Just let me rob you!!” 

Asa only waved him away though, clearly disregarding the threat he was displaying, an unbothered smile on her lips as if she was in her own world. “Yeah yeah yeah,I already said I’d let you do that in a second. Oh, where was I? Oh yeah! So the thing is, we are supposed to be friends and he said that the kiss was supposed to be the same as my first one but it so clearly wasn’t the same, but I don’t want to come off as a weirdo cause it seemed to be the same for him. I mean he’s kissed hundreds of girls before so of course I wouldn’t be anyone special to him, which is fine, but then I can’t shake these strange feelings after it. Like I want him to do it again. Is that crazy? Of course it’s crazy right? And I know I should just ignore them and move on but I don’t know, it’s really hard.I feel like maybe I’m overreacting and I don’t wanna seem too clingy, do I seem too clingy to you?” 

And it was obvious that the robber hadn’t expected the strange therapy session and rambling confessions of this strange random woman. Hell, he thought she’d be an easy target, being alone and distracted as she walked the unsavory streets of the port mafia territory. But this, he hadn’t planned for this. 

Because somehow, this crazy ass girl was just talking to him normally, like there wasn’t a knife in his hand, like he hadn’t just threatened to kill her and rob her of all her money. She didn’t seem affected in the least. In fact, she hadn’t even reacted when he dragged her into this alleyway. There was something wrong with this girl, that was for sure. She wasn’t normal at all. 

And now he had to hear about her bullshit melodrama, to hear her ramble on and on about some guy that she kissed that she needed advice on. She wouldn’t shut up about it, almost like she was genuinely trying to get advice while being robbed. But who in their right mind would even do that?! 

The robber opened his mouth to reply before she cut him off, clearly still rambling her perpetual word vomit. “Then again we were drunk when we kissed so it could’ve been the alcohol and I could be overreacting the whole thing. But what if I’m not? What if it wasn’t the alcohol and I genuinely want to kiss him again? That would be a disaster, right? Of course it would be haha. The last thing I wanna do is chase him away. I don’t want to ruin our arrangement and go back to having no one again. I don’t know, what do you think, Mr. Robber?”

Blinking in disbelief, the criminal shook his head. “You’re insane..” 

Asagao only hummed though, almost like she was taking his comment as actual advice before giving him an unbothered smile. “Well that’s a known fact, silly. But it doesn't help me with my problem, now does it? Got anything else?” 

But the man was over it, his patience snapped as he raced forward to the girl, knife outstretched in order to finally shut her up and give him some peace and quiet for once. “Ugh! Just shut the fuck up! I’m gonna cut out your damn tongue!” 

Asagao didn’t seemed bothered by his attack, in fact she looked quite unimpressed as the robber watched her easily dodge his stab before he suddenly felt his lungs cave in and his legs get swept under him by some kind of invisible force before his shoulder cried out in agony only to find his own knife buried in the surface like some kind of sick magic trick. 

What the hell? She didn’t even move. No, it couldn't be, did this chick have some kind of ability? She destroyed him in a single second. What a monster. 

And even Chuuya couldn’t help but be taken back by how quickly she took this guy down. Yes, he knew about her lethal time stop ability but seeing it in action again was just as haunting and impressive as it was the first time. 

Groaning out in pain, the criminal wheeze out a breath, clutching his shoulder with agony as he looked up at the seemingly unbothered auburn haired woman. “W-What, what did you do to me? You stabbed me!” 

Asa only leaned down though, an apologetic smile on her lips. “Ah yeah, sorry about that. Might have overdone it a bit. But really it’s your fault, Mr. Robber. If you listened and gave me some advice I would’ve let you rob me, promise I would’ve. But you had to be difficult.” 

Chuuya then shifted his foot only for the girl to snap her head up and notice him, her smile growing wider in order to jump up and practically skip to the ginger in joy. “Chu Chu! What a nice surprise, what are you doing here?” 

Yet that’s when the mafioso couldn’t help but glance at the robber that was still gasping for air by her feet only for Asa to follow her gaze with a nervous unconvincing laugh. “Oh, him? He was like that when I got here. Isn’t that right?” 

But the robber only groaned in pain, causing Chuuya to shake his head. God, she was just as crazy and psychotic as he remembered her to be. “What are you doing here? You stalkin me or something? 

And he wouldn’t have put it past her if that was the case, considering what she had just done to this lowly low class criminal. Why else would she be in port mafia territory? It wasn’t the see Dazai, that mackerel already expressed how he didn’t want her here in his line of work. 

Asagao only seemed confused by his comment though, looking around the alley before putting her hands up in defense with a goofy grin. “What? Oh no no, not at all. If I was stalking you, you wouldn’t even know it until it was too late haha.” 

It seemed she meant that as a joke, but it only made Chuuya pale at the implications of what she could do to him if she truly wanted to follow him around, and Asa seemed to notice that as well, her lips dropping an awkward neutral expression. “Sorry, bad joke. Was just trying to lighten the mood. I’m not stalking you, promise. I just happened to be here. Small world, huh?” 

Chuuya only raised a skeptical eye though. “You’re telling me you just happened to be in port mafia territory? Cut the shit, Asagao. You think I’d believe that? You’re up to something.” 

And what Chuuya didn’t know was that the reason for her strange outing was in order to clear her head of that kiss that Dazai had shared with her a couple days ago. It seemed she also was having a malfunction of her own, one that she wasn’t ready to tell anyone. 

Asa shook her head in response at his accusation, put a hand to her heart passionately and dramatically. “No, really, it’s true this time. I’m not, promise! I’m not up to anything remotely shady..currently..” 

Groaning in exasperation at the last part of her sentence, he grumbled. “God, you’re so much like Dazai. Give me a damn break..” 

It was the one thing he hated about her the most. How she was like Dazai, the very bane of his existence. With her here it seemed like his eternal punishment had been doubled, giving him two long lasting menaces instead of one. 

Great, just great. He could already feel a headache coming on. 

Yet that’s when he heard her voice again. “Hey Chu..” 

Grumbling under his breath, the ginger’s head snapped up with annoyance, his voice sharp and cold. “What, what the hell do you want now?!” 

Yet the second his eyes looked on hers, he found a different expression on her face, a softer, more somber one than before. “I wanted to apologize again for what I did. I was just so excited to meet you again that I got carried away. I promise I won’t overstep and ask you to be my friend again.” 

And there it was again, that stupid face, the one that haunted his dream. God, why did she look so sad and vulnerable while talking about something so stupid? It couldn’t be real, she couldn’t be serious.

Asa was clearly a manipulative person, she was just trying to wrap him around her finger, he knew it. People like Dazai didn’t have a heart, and they certainly didn’t have feelings. 

Besides, she knew what she was doing when she tricked him to use that stupid nickname and roped him into that little sick kidnapping plot that she and Dazai set up. She said it herself. There was no way she could have remorse for that. 

But then why was he still feeling incredibly shitty for it? God, this woman was messing with his head. He needed to stop thinking about it. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Chuuya simply nodded, not revealing any of the inner turmoil he was feeling from her seemingly sincere apology. “Good.” 

The mafioso then cleared his throat. “If you know then get out of here already.” 

Nodding her head, Asagao turned to look around the alley. “Right, I should head home now. Let’s see it’s just..umm..” 

Chuuya then raised an eye as he watched the girl glance at her surroundings, seeing the disconnect between her glasses and her eyes. Just what the hell was she doing, another trick? “Well, what are you waiting for?” 

Giggling to herself in a nervous fashion, Asa continued to look around with a nod. “Sorry..I..was just…uh..” 

And the more she looked around like a puppy, the more Chuuya was getting annoyed. Why the hell did it look like she didn’t know where she was? Wandering around like a lost little child..wait..

That’s when Chuuya paused, turning to her with annoyance. “Ah hell, don’t tell me you’re lost..” 

Asagao then paused her search before laughing in order to rub her hair with an apologetic smile as her glasses slipped a little down her nose. “Hahaha oops?” 

Oops? Oops?! That’s all she could say? She wandered into port mafia territory, lost herself lost like a child and all she had to say was oops?! Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

Putting his hands in his head with a groan, the mafioso shouted. “How can you be lost?!”

Asa only shrugged playfully though. “Ah well, it sorta just happened?” 

The boy was only stunned in disbelief though. “Why are you acting so calm? Like this is a normal thing for you? Oh no, don’t tell me this is a normal thing for you..”

Laughing again, Asagao pushed her glasses back onto her face. “Sad to say, it is. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’m sure I’ll find my way some way or another. I always do, haha.” 

Although that’s when Chuuya watched the girl turn around a little too quickly and confidently, walking face first into the nearest alley wall, just like she did a couple days ago when he found out Dazai was her boyfriend. 

Ah hell, this was a normal thing for her, she wasn’t kidding. 

Immediately racing up to her, Chuuya pulled her shoulder back, disconnecting her from the wall like a frantic mother hen in order to check her face with annoyance. “H-Hey, watch where you’re going, damn it!” 

Asa only smiled though, allowing his gloved hands to trace across her new bruised injury before brushing it off like nothing. “It’s okay, Chu Chu, I’m all good! I just thought I had a bit more space before the wall. I guess not though, huh? Haha.” 

And the fact that she was disregarding the action was concerning enough, neither mind the fact that Chuuya had seen her walk into walls and get hit by objects way too often for him to like. 

But that didn’t make sense. He had seen her power firsthand. She was an incredibly skilled fighter and expert marksman, especially with that terrifying time stop ability of hers. So why was she always bumping into shit? 

Taking a step back from her, Chuuya frowned. “I don’t understand how you can be such a damn klutz when I saw you take down hordes of enemies single handedly.” 

Asa then dusted herself off before her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh, that’s easy! It’s because I wasn’t wearing my glasses then. I can see everything without them, and I mean everything. But I usually only take them off when I’m fighting cause it gets..intense..”

Moving his gaze to her large dorky glasses that took up her entire face, Chuuya’s face flashed in realization. That’s right, all those times she was kicking ass it was without her glasses, with her scary hollow corpse like eyes. That made sense. 

And she said that was intense? Intense was a damn understatement.

Chuuya shivered at the memory, those dead iris’ still stuck in his mind. “So you’re a walking disaster the rest of the time then?” 

Asa only smiled in reply. “A-Ah..yeah, you could say that..” 

Blinking at her disbelief, the boy put his hands in his head again. Here she was, a lethal killer, a weapon of unstopping force and yet the idiot couldn’t walk more than a couple feet without walking into a wall. Talk about versatility. She was something else, really.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or scream at that information. 

And part of him really wanted to leave her in the middle of port mafia territory, to walk away and have her wander around walking into walls and buildings all day, but another part of him, an annoying part felt the need to help the lost puppy before she got herself killed and walked into oncoming traffic by accident. 

Because that totally sounded like something she would do. 

Feeling his guilty conscience start to emerge victorious, Chuuya then dropped his hands with frustration before turning back to the stupid red haired girl before shoving them into his pocket in a mutter. “Kill me now, why does it have to be me?” 

Then he raised his voice, quickly turning to leave the alley with a stomp of anger. “Fine, I give up. Hurry up before I change my mind!” 

He expected her to follow him, but as soon as he got to the end of the alley, he turned only to find Asa staring at him with confusion. Ah, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Did he need to get a leash or something? She really was a stupid lost puppy. 

Just then, Chuuya remembered what Dazai said to him back before they got kidnapped. That stupid mackerel always dragged her around by her wrist and said that he had to or else she’d be lost without him. 

At first he took it as a possessive metaphor but damn it, it was real wasn’t it? Shitty Dazai knew she’d get lost if he didn’t grab onto her. 

Stomping back up to her, Chuuya then grumbled to himself before wordlessly looking down at her hand. He didn’t want to latch onto her wrist like Dazai did, that seemed dehumanizing, even for her. Which only left one option left, just great. 

The mafioso then sighed before wrapping his gloved hand around her bare one before practically pulling her out of the alleyway. “You’re insufferable..always making my life difficult..” 

And as he began to lead her out of port mafia territory and back to civilian life, Asa looked down at his hand intertwined with his before speaking in confusion. “Chu Chu, you don’t have to..” 

But Chuuya only shouted back, clearly annoyed by what he was doing. “Just shut up before I leave you in the middle of the road. I can’t believe I’m doing this, you’re such a child..getting lost like an idiot..” 

Yet though his words were harsh, Asagao’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a small smile at the gesture. He could’ve left her alone, he should’ve considering what she did to him the last time they saw each other and yet he was helping her get back home.

 He really was a good guy after all. 

So she remained quiet, allowing Chuuya to drag her across the city until she recognized some of the landmarks and was able to give him directions back to Oda’s apartment. 

Finally arriving back on the very familiar steps of her brother's place, Chuuya then let go only to see him walk away without a word as Asagao willed something to her lips to stop him. She didn’t want him to go, she wanted to spend more time with him, but he obviously didn’t want the same. 

So she said the first thing that came to mind. “U-Um..if you ever want to come inside and hang out just let me know! The offer is always out there!” 

Chuuya on the other hand didn’t even reply, happy to be rid of Dazai’s crazy and annoying girlfriend. The sooner he got away from her weird and strange mannerisms the better. He already had that shitty mackerel to deal with on a daily basis, the last thing he needed was a more directly changed and confusing version of him around. 

Just then, the boy’s phone began to ring only for Chu to answer with a gruff reply. “What?” 

The voice on the other end was a familiar one to the boy, the ginger’s harsh greeting leaving the receiver unbothered. “Ah, Chuuya! There’s my favorite grumpy mafioso I wanted to hear from. We got a bit of a problem here I was hoping you could solve.” 

Already groaning from the implications, Chuuya frowned. “What is it this time, Piano Man?” 

The man, Piano Man, was the head of a small group in the port mafia known as the young bloods, and it was a group that Chuuya associated with more recently. They were a team, helping each other with various cases and missions over the last year or so. 

The leader only hummed though, and Chuuya practically could see the amused smile he always wore from the other side of the call. “You see, this new job the boss assigned is going to be a tough one. It requires a set of skills that your partner could fulfill but I just heard that Mori sent him on an assignment out of the country. Which means we’re lacking one annoyingly smart demon prodigy.” 

Chuuya sighed at that, shaking his head before running his gloved fingers through his hair. “And why in the hell would the boss send Dazai away out of the country and then assign a job that needs his stupid skills? That makes no damn sense.” 

Piano Man paused for a second before answering. “You didn’t hear this from me but it sounds like a test. Like the boss wants you to figure out how to finish the job at a disadvantage.” 

Widening his eyes at that, Chuuya stopped walking. A test? Could that really be true, was Mori really testing him on how competent he was? But why would he want to test him? Wait, no, it couldn’t be..

Chuuya had been trying to become an executive like Dazai for years, was this his chance, was Mori trying to see if he was worthy of it? “You don’t think he’s testing me to be an executive, do you?” 

There’s another hum on the other end before Piano Man answers rather amused. “Seems like it. Or at least it’s a step in that direction. The boss definitely has an eye on you for something. If not for the executive position then for something to show your worth to him.” 

And that was something that made the boy’s heart stop in anxiety. Piano was right. This was his chance, his chance to show the boss that he was good enough to be an executive. He would finish this job without Dazai and earn his executive spot next to that mackerel. 

For you see, this was something that Chuuya had wanted more than anything, ever since he was manipulated into joining the port mafia from the sheep. But it wasn’t for the power or the position, that’s not what the boy cared about. 

No, there was one thing that was shackling him to the organization and to Mori as a whole, and that was his past, his history, his memory. 

It was the one thing he could never have. His life started when he was seven years old. Before that there was nothing. Just a blank void that Chuuya could never uncover no matter how hard he tried. It always felt like a part of him was missing, like he was never completely whole. 

And that’s why Chuuya needed to be an executive, it was because executives could see confidential files, including the information on Chuuya’s family and his past. He wanted it so badly, to know who he was, what he was, if he was even human or not. It was eating at him for years, the blanks in his memory driving him almost insane with possibility and fear. 

Because of that, he knew he had to be an executive, to ease his mind and his heart. 

And he would do absolutely anything to get it, even if it meant betting on impossible odds. 

Narrowing his eyes in serious intent, the boy felt his fingers tighten on the phone. “We don’t need that shitty Dazai. We’ll show the boss we don’t need him.” 

Piano Man seemed to nod on the other side of the phone. “That’s great and all but how are you going to work around the loss of Dazai? You have another crazy smart psychopath in your back pocket we could use?” 

The boy frowned at that. His friend had a point. Dazai was a special kind of evil, finding someone that could equal him would be nearly impossible. No one in the mafia was that kind of insane. 

Chuuya then opened his mouth to reply before an idea flashed in his mind. Wait, he did have someone like that, didn’t he? Someone that was just like Dazai, someone that could make the job succeed. Not in the mafia, but somewhere else. 

Dazai’s girlfriend could do it, she could replace the demon prodigy for the job. 

Just then, that shitty mackerels voice echoed into his mind like a warning 

“The last place I will allow her to be is in the port mafia.”

Ah, that’s right. Dazai said that he didn’t want her in the port mafia, in the darkness like him, even if she fit into it so well. By getting her involved in this case Chuuya would be going against that bandage losers wishes. 

But why should he care? That shitty bastard and his girlfriend had used and manipulated him for their own whims without a care, why couldn’t he do it himself for once? And it wasn’t like he was dragging Asagao into the port mafia, he just wanted her for this job. 

 Dazai could get over it. That bastard wasn’t even in the country. It was time for him to be selfish for once. He needed Asagao in order to be an executive, to learn about his family. It was for a good cause. Besides, Chuuya was just repaying the favor of her manipulation with his own. 

And he hated to stoop to Dazai’s level but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

Tightening his hold on the phone once more, Chuuya spoke. “Actually, I think I do.” 

And then he hung up before turning back to find Asagao putting the key in the lock of her door, completely oblivious to the plan that was slowly brewing in Chuuya’s mind. That’s right, he could do this, for his future, for his memories. 

Taking a step forward, the boy then called out to her, sealing his decision. 

“That offer still available?” 

Chapter 22:

"Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"

“That offer still available?” 

Chuuya regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

Somehow, it felt like with those four little words, something was put in motion that the poor ginger could never take back, an unfortunate fate that internally told him he could never be rid of this little psychopath now that he had given her an inch of attention. 

And that was explicitly clear when Asagao immediately turned around, her eyes widening with a mix of disbelief and shock as she tried to process if she had just heard correctly. “H-Huh?” 

 She was staring at him so intensely, he felt all his words die inside his throat, everything inside of him was telling him to backtrack, to forget the plan completely.

But unfortunately that wasn’t possible as Asagao practally raced up to him in half desperation and half confusion as she leaned in closer to him, invading his personal space without socially recognizing it. “What did you just say?” 

Oh god, he was screwed. 

He knew it, just from the look on her face. There was no going back. He had already dug his grave, and now he had to lie in it. 

Swallowing the dread away, Chuuya repeated the words, the syllables like acid on his tongue. “I said, is that offer still available? To…hang out?” 

God, he had to force the last phrase out of his lips before he resisted the urge to vomit. He had to remember this was for a purpose, he was using her. It would be worth it. 

Please be worth it.  

Asagao on the other hand still seemed to be processing his acceptance of her offer, blinking in half disbelief as she repeated them back. “…you want to hang out with me? Really?” 

He could feel it, her claws were in him now, she had taken the bait. There truly was no going back now. 

Reluctantly nodding, he took a step closer against the better judgment before muttering gruffly. “Is that a problem?” 

Asa immediately shook her head though, racing up to the cautious ginger before practically bouncing on her heels like a little puppy, eyes wide with giddy excitement. “You are kidding?! Of course it’s okay, I’d love that! Oh wow, this is the best day ever. I never thought you’d say yes! I mean I always thought that you hated me and I just..”

She was so loud, so ear grating that he was already pissed off, putting his hand to her lips before she went on with her incessant word vomit. “Okay, I get it. Just shut up already. You talk too much.” 

Asa didn’t seem bothered or annoyed by that though, simply nodding with understanding before giving one of her brain dead smiles. “Ah, sorry! I’m just excited. I’ll work on it though, Chu Chu, I promise.” 

There’s a beat of silence then as Chuuya waits for her to let him inside her apartment but she just continues to stare at him with that dumb stupid smile, staring at him without a word like she was savoring the moment and taking some imagery photo in her head. 

And frankly, it was getting awkward, really awkward. 

First the girl couldn’t shut up and now she wasn’t saying a damn thing? Chuuya was already getting a headache and severely regretting this plan. 

She clearly was more trouble then she was worth, maybe even more batshit insane then Dazai was, which was saying a lot. 

Chuuya then clears his throat only for Asa to turn her head in confusion. “Hm?” 

The mafioso then groans before putting his head in his hands to calm his temper and point to the door to remind her what he’s waiting on. 

He couldn’t get on with this if she didn’t open the damn door! 

Asagao then widens her eyes before seemingly turning back to life, bouncing up to the door and pulling out her key. “Oh, right! Sorry, come on in. Make yourself at home! I’ll make some tea, do you like tea Chu Chu?” 

He mutters back: “Not really…” 

Nodding her head, she turns the key and the door cracks open. “No worries. I have lots of options. What would you like?” 

The boy knew the answer immediately, it was the only thing that was going to get him through this awful encounter and night with Dazai’s insane girlfriend. “Alcohol, lots of it. Wine preferably.” 

Asa hums at that. “Hmm okay, I think we have some of that. I’ll go take a look!” 

He then watched her wild auburn hair disappear inside as Chuuya apprehensively ascended to the steps before freezing at the doorway as a horrible thought popped into his mind before he could cross the threshold.  

Hold on, just what the hell was he going to walk into? 

It was no secret that Dazai’s girlfriend wasn’t exactly…sane, in any capacity, and that was being generous.

 He had seen her tear through enemies like butter, had witnessed her twisted manipulative plots so to be completely honest he was absolutely terrified of what he’d find inside these walls. 

What if her idea of decor was something sick and twisted like severed heads or jars of eyeballs? What if her entryway was bathed in blood in her enemies and scattered with human remains hanging from the ceilings? What if she had some poor bastard tied up gutted like a fish in the living room? Honestly, the possibilities were endless. 

And yeah sure, Chuuya was in the mafia, he had seen his fair share of fucked up and horrible things but there was something about Asagao that unsettled him in a way no one else ever could. She had this manic unhinged vibe about her that not even Dazai could match. 

At least with Dazai you knew what you were getting, with Asagao it was anyone’s guess. 

And that was absolutely terrifying because the possibilities that he was going to see something absolutely grotesque was way too high for his liking. 

He had seen her idea of “fun” and he definitely didn’t like it considering it involved breaking people’s legs and manipulating them to her will. 

A shiver ran up Chuuya’s spine at the thought before he shoved it down. What the hell was he so freaked out  for? He was Nakahara Chuuya damn it,  mafioso and past king of the sheep. He could handle one psychopath's house..right?

Taking a deep breath, the boy then closed his eyes before stepping into the house, pausing in the entryway before counting to three in his head in case he had to mentally prepare for what he was about to see. Please no severed heads, please no severed heads, please no severed heads.  

But when he opened his eyes, the mafioso paused at what he saw.

Hold on, this was…normal? 

He could hardly believe it. The apartment that he was so worried about was just a normal everyday apartment, warm, cozy, nothing that he associated with Asagao. In fact, it didn't even look like her place at all. Her psycho touches were nowhere to be seen. 

Her voice then rings through his ears right next to him. “What are you looking at?” 

Chuuya immediately jumped before turning to find Asagao standing behind him, a seemingly innocent smile on her lips but he wasn't fooled. How long had she been watching him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

Damn it, this girl was making him anxious. 

Perhaps it was because he was inside of her domain now, in a place he didn’t fully know or understand. She had the advantage here and he hated that idea more than anything.

Shaking his head, he managed out a response. “N-Nothing, I was just looking. Your place is..not really like you.” 

She tilts her head at that. “What do you mean?” 

Clearing his throat, Chuuya forces his voice to come out normally, regardless of the nervous twitch of his fingers. “It looks, you know, normal…and you’re…not.” 

And any normal person would’ve been offended by that, but of course since the girl had a screw loose, Asa simply hummed in response. “Oooh, yeah no you're right. That’s because it's not my place. It’s my brothers.” 

Chuuya nodded absentmindedly, before pausing to process her words. Wait, did she just say brother?  he didn’t know she even had a family, never mind a brother. “Oh..I see. I assume your brother isn’t here right now then?” 

He glanced into the room, half expecting a more psychotic version of Asa to pop out (if that was even possible) only for her to laugh at his question. “Nah, he’s dead. Anyways, have a seat! Tea’s almost ready, and I found some wine for you too! It’s your lucky day Chu Chu.” 

Then disappearing into the living room next to them, Chuuya found himself alone once more, leaving him speechless and utterly whiplashed from their conversation. 

Wait, did she just say dead? Her brother was dead? What kind of fucked up reaction was that?! Why was she brushing it off and laughing about her family member being dead? 

Just then, Chuuya got a grave thought. She didn’t..kill him, right? No, there’s no way. She was crazy but she wasn’t that crazy. She wouldn’t kill her own brother and then laugh about his dead corpse, right?

But to be completely honest the mafioso wasn’t completely sure if she would or not. She was like a hurricane, a disaster leaving him in the whirlwind each and every time. Perhaps she was capable of such a thing. 

There did seem to be a disconnect there, between her and her dead brother. 

Either way, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the whole story. 

Shaking the thought away, Chuuya then hesitantly stepped into the living room only for her to beam and pat the seat across from her as he noticed a fresh glass of wine on the coffee table, waiting ominously for him. “Ah, there you are! I got your wine, don’t worry though. I didn’t poison it or anything.” 

She laughs to herself, smiling widely as he is forced to sit in the seat, the soft plush cushions of the sofa doing nothing to ease him in any way. He still felt like he was in a prison, the walls of her house confining and strangely ominous. 

And why did she mention poison?! He wasn’t thinking about it before but now he was. What if she still actually laced his drink? He wouldn’t have put it past her. That sounded like something fucked up she could do. 

Feeling his stomach turn suddenly he wasn’t in the mood for alcohol anymore. 

The room was quiet, Chuuya hearing nothing but the sound of his own anxious breathing as he looked around the space to catalog every corner in case he had to fight his way out of this seemingly innocent room and to not look at the possibly laced wine. 

He then catches a stack of bandages on a table in the corner, knowing that Dazai was here recently. Damn, she was fully stocked up. How often did that bandage freak come here? He knew she was that bastard’s girlfriend but that was enough gauze to last three to five years. 

Getting back on topic, the ginger haired boy then sucked in a breath before turning back to her to get this over with. “Listen up, I..I have to talk to you about something, alright?” 

Asa blinks in surprise at that, picking up her teacup with interest. “Yeah of course. Anything, Chu Chu.” 

And it took everything within him not to snap at her or punch her for her stupid ass nickname. He hated it more than anything but that was not what mattered right now. 

Still, he couldn’t stop his eye from twitching a bit in lingering distaste. “Right so, I have this mission coming up and it’s a damn big one.” 

Asa beams at that, leaning forward in interest, like a kid on Christmas. “Oh, a mission! How exciting. Is it a dangerous one? Are you gonna beat a bunch of people up? Sounds super fun!” 

Fun? That was not the word he would use to describe his port mafia missions, literally ever. Sure, beating people up could be rewarding but it was more of a pain in the ass more than anything. 

But the way she was looking at him, it was like she was jealous of said mission, urging him for the glory details that would make any sane person run away. 

Of course she’d be into the violence aspect of the job, considering how enjoyable she found tearing apart those rivals a couple days ago. What a freak. 

Doing his best to humor her, Chuuya nods in discomfort. “Right..anyways, we’ve got a hell of a problem. This job requires Dazai’s lazy ass but he’s not in the country at the moment..” 

The boy then swallows his words before continuing. “And we need someone with his skill set..and you’re kind of the only option we have at the moment..” 

God, this was so fucking hard. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be reliant on a crazy girl to help them. But it was for his family, for the flags, for him to be an executive. It had to be done. 

Finishing, Chuuya forces out the rest of the question, gritting his teeth like it’s physically painful for him to ask. “So, uhh..will you help?” 

And then, he sits in silence again, the only sound being the ticking clock on the wall as he fidgets with his hands as she stares at him blankly. 

Why the hell was she just staring at him like that? One minute he couldn’t shut her up and now she was quiet as a damn mouse? Ugh, he hated this. 

Then, the mafioso watched as Asa carefully puts down her teacup before straightening back up and lifting her hand like a child wanting to ask a question in school. 

Seriously, what the hell? 

Holding back a groan, Chuuya speaks. “Yes?” 

Asa then puts her hand down before her voice comes out in curiosity. “Would it be rude to point out the fact that you're withholding information from me or is that something that normal people usually keep to themselves?”

And Chuuya feels his blood run cold. 

What? 

How in the...she realized he was hiding something?! She noticed that he was using her? No way, there’s no way she knew that. He didn’t say a damn thing. She was just bluffing, that had to be it. 

Feeling himself turn speechless, he stuttered. “W-What? I’m not hiding anything..” 

But Asagao is quick to correct him, giggling in an amused manner before crossing her legs casually and leaning against the sofa. “Come on Chu Chu, of course you are. It’s everywhere. In your body language, in your eyes, but mostly in the tone of your voice. You’re definitely withholding something from me.” 

Blinking in disbelief, he shakily asked. “My..voice?” 

She only nods though, smiling happily while she picks him apart. “Mhm, the tone is more forced, about a half octave lower than usual. And your foot has been tapping anxiously ever since you sat down in an irregular rhythm of about ¾. You’re nervous about this job, and not only that, there's a hint of desperation in your tone as well, hidden but not invisible. You need to do this job for some reason. Hence, you withholding information.”

And Chuuya is stunned, absolutely positively stunned. No fucking way. She clocked him immediately. It was terrifying, how she picked him apart like nothing. What else did she notice that she hadn’t outright pointed out? Shit, he was in over his head. 

He couldn’t deny it anymore, it was for sure. “How..how did you..”

Asa only beams at that, picking her teacup back up again and taking a sip. “Ah, it’s talent really, or a curse depending on the day. If I took my glasses off I’d be able to read you more but I know they freak you out.” 

She taps her large dorky glasses to enhance her point and Chuuya shivers, remembering her cold dead, lifeless eyes behind the lenses. He didn’t want to know what she was capable of without those things on. 

The silence hangs in the air for a couple seconds more before Asa breaks it. “Well either way, I won’t be able to help you. I’m sorry.” 

Blinking in disbelief, Chuuya gasps, leaning forward. “W-What? Why the hell not? I thought you’d jump at a chance to beat up some bastards like last time.” 

Her smile turns sad at that. “Oh believe me, I do love a good fight but I can’t be that close to the mafia. For..personal reasons.” 

Personal reasons? What the hell did that mean, and why did she look so sad about it? Chuuya didn’t know, but it seemed like whatever it was she wasn’t going to budge on it. 

You’ve got to be kidding me, she was his best shot. 

Grumbling at the rejection, Chuuya’s eyes glance back to the stack of bandages on the table before narrowing. Her personal reason must have something to do with that bastard. 

He did say the last place he wanted his girlfriend to be was in the mafia but the ginger thought he was just being possessive. Perhaps it was more than that. “Because of Dazai?” 

Yet he was surprised when she simply shook her head. “No..not because of him.” 

Wait, if it wasn’t because of Dazai then why didn’t she want to be in the mafia? It seemed to be the perfect place for her, to nurture her fucked up and psychotic desires and interests. It didn’t make any sense to him. 

Either way, she wasn’t going to help him, he wasn’t going to complete this job and become an executive to find his family. The realization was earth shattering, his heart sinking inside his chest and dropping his head. 

She was his only shot of getting this done and now it was nearly impossible. 

Yet that’s when he hears Asa’s voice, the tone softer than usual as she leans forward and puts a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “Why is this job so important to you, Chuuya?” 

It was the first time she had used his first name, but he hardly realized it, too lost in his own thoughts. He doesn’t want to tell her, he doesn't want her to know how empty he is, how broken. 

Shaking his head, he dismisses her urge to get him to open up. “It’s for the port mafia, it’s important for us..” 

But Asagao is smart, far too smart then he wants her to be, her fingers giving his shoulders a small squeeze in response. “You wouldn’t come ask me if it was only for the port mafia. This is personal.” 

Cursing under his breath at her stupid talent of reading people, he runs his hands through his hair before giving up. It wasn’t going to work if he held shit back anyways.

He’s going to have to tell her, whether he likes it or not. “It’s for me, okay? I need to get this damn mission done, so the boss will make me an executive.” 

He hears her voice grow surprised but he refuses to look. “An executive? Like Samu?” 

Chuuya only nods, his own fingers gripping into his hair and pulling on it. He hates talking about this, especially with her. “Yeah, I need it. It’s the only way the boss will let me into a file to..to find my family.”

Once again, he hears her curious voice. “Your family..”

Gritting his teeth, he feels his lips form words against his permission. “Yeah, I don’t..I don’t remember them. Anything about them. I don’t even know if I have a damn family, that's why..I need to know..” 

The air is quiet again and he absolutely hates it. Out of everyone, why is it her that has to find out about his family, about his weakness? He feels disgusting, weak, pouring his heart out to a girl without one. 

But he couldn’t lie. Not to her. He wanted to, but it was impossible, she’d read him anyway. God, this silence was suffocating, it was like he couldn’t even breathe, crushed by his own inadequacy. 

Although that’s when he hears her speak, and it’s small, emotional. “It’s like a black hole, an empty carven that you are desperately trying to fill. A part of you is missing without them, so you cling to anything you can, including that file. That’s why you need it, why you need to complete this mission, right?” 

And Chuuya pauses before lifting his head to look at her this time. She had read him again, but this time it felt different, more personal, like she understood. 

But how could she understand? How could she comprehend the loss of his own blood, the family he never knew and so desperately wished to?

But little did he know, Asa knew that feeling extremely well, more than anyone else. 

And her heart bled for him. She didn’t want anyone to experience the emptiness she felt, the one her big brother Oda left behind. It hurt, more than anyone could ever imagine, that gaping hole of nothingness, the blank space that they both so desperately wanted to fill in more than anything. 

And she promised Ango she wouldn’t run to the mafia, she told Dazai that she would walk a different path then the hellhound association she was created to be, she wanted to stay true to her brother’s wish to keep her out of this life...

But that look in Chuuya’s eyes, that sad awful familiar look, made her waver. 

It made her start to consider a very dangerous idea. 

The ginger doesn’t sense the conflict in her though, his mind too occupied by his own thoughts, his skin crawling with a vulnerability he rarely ever shows. It was like Asagao had stripped him down to his bare heart and he hated it. 

Asagao then looks away for a moment, as if debating something he doesn’t understand before speaking again, into the space. “If I were to help you, what would you give me?”

At that, Chuuya immediately snaps his head to her. Wait, she was thinking about helping him? No way. It was like a ray of hope flickered to life at her very statement.

And he knew it didn’t matter what she asked for, he would give it to her. 

He was that desperate.

Desperate to find out his family, desperate to know if he was truly human or just a monster underneath it all. He needed to know the answer to the thing he was secretly terrified of. 

But he was still wary, she had the power right now and he was sure she’d use it extensively. “What do you want?” 

Asagao hums at that before tilting her head in curiosity. “What are you offering?” 

He pauses at that. What could he possibly offer this psycho that she’d actually agree with? It had to be something she wanted or else she’d probably turn him down. 

Getting an idea a second later, Chuuya tries to shut it down in his mind. Oh hell no, anything but that. But if that was the only option, he had no choice but to swallow his pride. 

It was the one thing she had asked him for and he completely turned her down. 

God damn it, he had no choice. 

Groaning to himself, Chuuya then sucks in a heavy breath before sealing his fate forever. “I’m offering..my friendship.”

And he hated it when she immediately widened her eyes, her mouth dropping open with shock as she leaned forward and once again evaded his personal space. “W-Wait, you’re serious? We can be friends??” 

Resisting the urge to take it back, he nods, leaning back to get some space. “...yes. We can be friends.” 

Asagao then gasps before immediately standing up, outstretching her hand, like sealing the deal with the devil itself. “Deal! You got yourself one Asagao! Congrats!” 

He’s stunned at that, blinking in disbelief, his mind reeling in a million different directions. “W-What? You’ll help? But you said..” 

She only smiles though, waving her hand away like she had forgotten her reservations even though they were so important before. “Ah, it’s fine it’s fine, it’s only one mission right? And I gotta help my brand new friend!” 

Looking down for a second, Asagao then paused before a flash of a very familiar bandaged boy flashed in her head, her lips tingling with memory from a certain kiss only for her to blush and turn around away from him for a second, muttering under her breath. “Besides, I could use a distraction..”

Yet before he could question it, the frantic auburn haired girl slaps her cheeks twice to snap her out of something before turning back around with a smile. “Anyways, what are you waiting for? Shake my head already, Chu Chu! Let’s make our agreement official!” 

Outstretching her hand again, Asa wiggles her fingers to coax Chuuya as he looks at it, a sense of hope and dread in his stomach. 

This was it, if he shook her hand there was no going back, he knew it. 

It felt like a contract with a demon, a scary unpredictable demon wearing the disguise of a cute red haired girl and something inside him told him that if he grabbed her hand, he would never be able to get away. 

That this would seal his fate, for better or for worse. 

But somehow, he lifted his hand outwards in a resigned fate. Consequences be damned, he needed her. “Fine. You have a deal. Just don’t expect me to be all chummy with you or some shit..” 

Asa only beams though, shaking his hand joyfully, so much so he thinks his arm is going to fall off. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I promise, I’ll be the best friend in the entire world! You know, I’ve never had a friend before, this is the best day ever!” 

Chuuya can’t help but mutter under his breath at her comment. “I can’t imagine why..”

He meant it as an insult, knowing fully well why no one ever stuck around. No one could probably keep up with her brand of crazy, except for Dazai that is. 

Asagao only nods though, a finger to her chin in silent contemplation. “Yeah, I don’t know either. But you know Chu Chu, I would’ve done it without the bribe.” 

At that, Chuuya felt his eyes widen, seeing red immediately.

Excuse me? What the hell did she just say?! She didn’t need a bribe, she would’ve said yes without him offering up his stupid friendship?? He didn’t have to do that?! 

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.  

Standing up with his fists clenched, the boy shouts, absolutely livid. “You didn’t need the bribe?!” 

Asa only shrugs though, pissing him off more. “Mmm nope, just wanted to see if you’d offer me anything good. And you did! It was a good one too, thanks for that.” 

Feeling his eye twitch, it took everything within him not to ring her neck. He was absolutely played, just like when they first met. That shady little bitch. 

He hated her, he absolutely hated her. 

Asagao then beams before turning around, gesturing for him to follow her as she skips towards the door, very happy with herself for her deception. “Now then, come on new best friend, let’s start this mission!” 

Best friend…she called him her best friend. She was already pushing her luck, he said friend not best friend. God, he didn’t know how he was going to do this. 

A part of him wanted to call off the whole thing right then and there but he withheld, just barely, chanting a mantra in his head, one he was hoping would get him through this awful horrible mission. I need her, I can’t kill her. I need her, I can’t kill her.  

I need her, but damn it.. 

 I want to kill her.  

It turns out once Asagao got to the front door leading outside, she remembered something important, muttering something about having to change and get something so Chuuya just gave her the address to the Flags base and left without her. 

Which honestly he was thankful for because he didn’t know if he could take another second of her, and if he was forced to walk side by side with her all the way into port mafia territory he probably would’ve drowned her in the nearby river before they got there. 

Getting to the familiar base, Chuuya put his finger up to his temple to quell his pounding headache. He seemed to get those after every unpleasant interaction with Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend. 

He stepped into the base, sighing only for Piano Man to notice his distress, smirking as he strolls up to his fellow member. “Hey Chuuya, there you are. Did you get that replacement for Dazai you were talking about?” 

Closing his eyes in defeat, the ginger sighed. “Yeah, she’ll be here soon, unfortunately.” 

At his words, Lippman raised his brow, strolling forward like the flirt he was. “Did you just say girl? Way to go Chuuya! Is she hot?” 

The boy only rolled his eyes though. “Don't start, you pervert. She’s my age.” 

Lippman’s shoulders slumped at that, disappointment across his face. Just when he thought he had a new bit of eye candy to look at. He had no interest in kids. That was gross. “Ugh, seriously? You got me excited for nothing.” 

The man then began to pout only for Albatross to pat his back once in amusement. “It’s alright man, I’m sure this kid is something special if she can substitute for Dazai. Isn’t that right Chuuya? I can’t wait to meet her!” 

Albatross was always the optimist, but his words of interest only made Chuuya groan more, his fingers pinching his nose in clear exhaustion. “Look guys, there’s something you need to know before you meet her. Yeah she can fill in for that bastard but she’s just as batshit insane as him.” 

The flags all look at each other in surprise. Just as crazy as Dazai? That was quite the statement. They didn't think anyone could be as nuts as the infamous demon prodigy. He was a breed in itself. 

Piano Man turns his head in concern at that. “What do you mean?” 

Chuuya then opens his mouth before shutting it right after. What could he even say, how could he describe someone as unhinged as Asagao? He honestly didn’t know. It was like simple words didn’t do her justice, and he meant that in the most derogatory way possible. 

Yet that’s when the door knocks and the ginger mafioso groans. Well, they were going to find out for themselves, whether they liked it or not. “You’ll see.” 

Walking over to the door, Chuuya then takes a breath before opening it only to find Asagao’s smiling face, her body bouncing up and down like she can’t contain herself as she brushes past the boy to make herself inside without being invited in. 

Of course she did, he’s not even surprised anymore. 

And the Flags are certainly surprised when the small cute red haired girl with large dorky glasses hops into the room, her mouth dropped open in awe and wonder as she looks around like a kid in a candy shop. “Whoaaa, a real life mafia base. This is so cool!’ 

Piano Man can’t help but chuckle at her childish energy. “Someone’s excited.” 

Hearing his voice, Asagao then turns and gasps before racing up to the group, a goofy smile on her lips as she outstretches her hand. “Oh, hello! Nice to meet you! You must be Chuuya’s friends! I’m Asagao but you can call me Asa if you’d like. Lots of people do! Oh, I’m just so excited to be here, really!” 

The Flags stood in silence for a moment at her overload of energy. They didn’t get that much in the mafia so seeing her so smiley and hyper was unexpected, causing Albatross to laugh and speak first. “You sure got a lot of energy kid, I like it!” 

Asa beams at that. “Thanks, I get that alot!” 

Lippman can’t resist ruffling her hair in response. “Yeah, you’re a cutie! Like a little puppy!” 

Piano Man laughs at his friend's comment before speaking. “So, you’re the one that’s here to help us with Dazai’s part of the plan for the mission?” 

She claps her hands at that, bouncing up and down once more. “Yes! Chu Chu told me all about it and I’m here to help!” 

The Flags look at each other and can’t help but snicker at that cute nickname she gave the grumpy ginger who looked like he was two seconds from punching her a couple feet away. 

Covering his lips with his hand, Lippman smirks at that. “Ah, so Chu Chu recruited you?” 

Chuuya balled his fists at that, unable to keep quiet as he glared at the flashy idiot. “Don’t call me that, bastard or I’ll knock out your teeth! And you..” 

He pointed to Asa. “I told you to quit it with that stupid ass name already!” 

She only pouts at that though. “Whaaa? But it’s cute Chu Chu!”

Albrotss nods in agreement, enjoying the joke of making fun of him. “Yeah Chu Chu , it’s really cute! It offsets your grumpy personality!” 

The ginger had enough though, stepping forward and pointing a finger at all of them. “Shut the hell up! It’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying! I swear if you say it one more time..” 

Asagao then completely cuts him off, her voice giddy. “Oh! Speaking of which, I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you!” 

Racing forward up to Chuuya, she then reaches into her pocket before smiling. “Lift out your arm Chu Chu! It will be worth it, I promise!” 

He highly doubted that but he didn’t have much of a choice, lifting his arm up with a groan before Asa beams, taking something out and placing it around his wrist. “Ta Da! Do you love it? I made it special for you, to celebrate our new friendship!” 

Chuuya then looks down to find a small handmade beaded bracelet on his wrist, the small white beads spelling out “CHUUYA” in black letters surrounded before smaller orange beads. 

It was childish, like a kid’s craft on the first day of summer camp, definitely not something a mafioso should be wearing. Just what the hell was she thinking? Why did she make him something so dumb?

They weren’t even really friends. 

Asa only seemed overjoyed though, bouncing on her heels with her eyes practically sparkling behind her glasses. “Well, do you love it, or do you really love it??” 

Chuuya opened his mouth to tell her how stupid it was, only for Albatross to lean over with another barely suppressed snicker, enjoying this scene fully. “Aw, that's really cute Chu Chu ..” 

Feeling his eye twitch at the nickname, the ginger hisses. “Shut up.” 

Lippman can’t resist joining in either, glancing at the cutesy bracelet before whining. “What? No fair, where’s mine?” 

Asagao only laughs though, clapping her hands together with excitement as she thinks of an idea. “Oh! I could make more if you want. I don’t mind. Then we could all have matching bracelets! Oh, that would be so fun! Like a real dream team!” 

The Flags all glance at each other at that, smiling in amusement. This girl was something else, definitely way different than the usual kinds of people near the mafia. It’s like she didn’t have an evil bone in her entire body. How cute. 

Tilting his head, Piano Man looks at her with amusement. You know, mafioso don’t wear friendship bracelets usually.” 

Asa only shrugs though, clearly ignoring the unspoken rule of the mafia . “Aw, but why not? It could be like something to remember this job by.”

Lippman snorts at that, enjoying her innocent demeanor. “It's hard to argue with that logic.” 

And it’s not just Lippman, it seemed everyone was getting a kick out of Asagao’s strange and overly excited way of looking at things, so much so that it made Chuuya groan internally and externally. 

This girl, she really had everyone wrapped around her finger too easily. The way she smiled sweetly and pretended to be such a sweet innocent girl when Chuuya had seen her tear people apart and manipulate them with a flick of her wrist was absolutely infuriating. 

If only they knew how much of a demon she actually was. 

It pissed him off, all of his friends discrediting her as a sixteen year old kid when he could bet she was doing all this on purpose. He wouldn’t put it past her if she was perfectly crafting her responses for these guys to fawn over her. 

Meanwhile, while the group is chatting, Albatross and Lippman stroll over to the assassin of the group, Iceman whos’ sitting in the corner observing the interaction, a lazy smile on Albatross’ lips. 

The guy wasn’t the most social butterfly after all. Ever stoic. “Hey Iceman, come say hi to our new honorary Flag for the night. She’s a bundle of joy, huh?” 

Lippman nods in agreement, focusing on his friends’ frown and downturned brows. “Yeah, quit glaring over there. You’re not being very welcoming.” 

But that only made Iceman narrow his eyes even more, staring at the seemingly innocent red haired girl who was laughing with the rest of the group before speaking flat.“ I don’t like her.”

Lippman couldn’t help but raise an eye at that. He knew Iceman was wary of others given his profession but..this girl? She didn’t seem like the usual kinds of people the guy was skeptical of. 

Tilting his head, the ladies man replies. “What do you mean? She’s adorable.” 

Iceman is silent for a moment, just staring at Asa’s seemingly carefree expression before sighing and looking away. “I don’t know. She feels..off somehow. I don’t know how yet.” 

And being an assassin Iceman was quite good at reading people and this girl, there was something more to her, he could tell. Perhaps it was in the way she smiled a bit too bright or how she disregarded the social norms of the mafia by gifting Chuuya a cutesy friendship bracelet but there was something.. 

Then, as if to prove his skepticism, Iceman watched from across the room as Asagao seemingly shifted her eyes from the conversation to the assassin for a split second, almost as if she noticed him staring at her before her lips curved into a small smirk for a millisecond and turning back around. 

Almost like she was taking amusement in the fact he was wary of her. 

Oh yeah, there was definitely something. Iceman was sure of it. 

And he was determined to find out just what it exactly was. 

Asagao then speaks up to the group, clapping her hands together in excitement for the night ahead of them. “So what kind of mission are we doing? I’m dying to know!” 

Piano Man laughs at her enthusiasm, though he’s a little nervous about letting such a small girl join them on a dangerous job. “Well, someone’s been killing off our men and we have to figure out who. You think you’re up for it, kid? It’s not going to be easy.” 

Asa doesn't seem bothered though, putting her arms up in a cheer. “Oh yeah! I’m totally in, I love a good mystery!” 

Goraning in irritation, Chuuya then turns towards the door, eager to get rid of her as quickly as possible. “Let’s just get this over with, we're wasting time. Keep up or I’m leaving you behind, idiot.” 

The Flags all beam at that, used to the boy’s behavior before then follow him out and towards the job as Asagao quickly pulls out her phone before scrolling through her contacts to find Dazai’s number and smile softly. 

She knows she’s in dangerous territory, that she couldn’t let anyone find out she’s so close to the mafia but helping her friend came first. 

But she had never had a friend before, no one could ever stomach her that long so the fact that Chuuya had offered her such a precious thing, she wasn’t going to take that for granted. She’d do anything to make him an executive and get him that file about his family.

Even if it meant going against everything her big brother ever wanted for her. 

Besides, it was only for one night, one mission. Like a cinderella spell. Once the clock hit midnight she’d go back to being a normal girl again, not a bloodthirsty assassin. 

What Samu didn’t know didn’t kill him, right? 

She’d be back before he returned from his trip. 

Then she sends him a small text before putting it back in her pocket in order to hurry up and catch up to the group. 

Miss you, Samu. Come back soon. 

*peeks around the corner* hey...hey ya'll, how you doing? *nervous laugh* 

Long story short, my laptop broke and I haven't been able to update for the longest time rip. But I hope this chapter was worth the wait! 2024 was kinda a shit show to be honest but I'm hoping 2025 will be better. I aim to finish this story this year so fingers crossed! I'm not going to say I will upload more because every time I do something bad happens I will not say that *cries* but I really really really want to finish this, with all my heart! I will push past the A03 curse! 

But eyyy! We have the chaotic Chuuya and Asa team up you've been waiting for! Poor girl just wants a friend but goes about it all wrong and Chuuya can't stand her. But I think she'll grow on him soon, whether he likes it or not! These next chatpters will feed into storm bringer and don't worry Dazai won't be away for long! We just need some Chuuya/Asa friendship first before he comes back 

And Asagao knows it's dangerous for her to accept this mission but she truly is loyal to the people she cares about, and she relates to Chuuya's desperation to be an executive because while he can find out information about his family, she can't do that since her brother is dead. 

I see every comment you all send me, every re-read and encouragement for me to keep going has pushed me through to upload for you guys. Thank you so much for the support I love you all. See you soon! 

[feeblescholarmyass]

An Awful Apology

In which Osamu Dazai does an awful job at consoling you after he got hurt. Alternatively, you give Dazai a bath and it makes you cry.

tags: non-sexual nudity, injuries, bathing together, helping Dazai rewrap his bandages as a sign of affection, Dazai is bad at handling emotions, Dazai uses humor to try to lighten the mood (it doesn't work), scar mention, bittersweet undertones, not really fluff not really angst, angst with comfort maybe?, Dazai x reader

a/n: this originally was going to be multiple characters but then I changed my mind

masterlist

All of the jokes he'd made about seeing you without your clothes had simply been that: jokes. It had served as something to fill the silence that had long accompanied your shared moments of solitude, a way to search for your laughter and make you both forget what you were thinking about.

He would be lying if he told you he'd never thought of you that way, but he would never act in a way that would result in your beautiful humanity being shattered. The light that shined in your eyes was more precious to him than his own life, and he promised himself that he would never do anything to make it go out.

He had never imagined it would happen like this. It was his fault. He'd gotten reckless, even though he knew how you felt about it. He got the job done, and that was what mattered.

But he had gotten hurt. Yosano had wanted to heal him, but after you insisted he should go through the healing process as punishment and had practically threatened to hurt him again yourself if you had to, she relented. So technically it was your fault.

He'd fully expected to have to deal with his injuries himself, but when you followed him home and sat beside him in silence, he began to suspect that you wouldn't be leaving him alone for some time.

He let you sit and stare at him, as uncomfortable as it was. He had tried to tease you about it. "Afraid I'm going to disappear, darling?" He asked, grinning at you playfully.

You hadn't responded. Instead, your grip on your chair tightened and a shaky breath escaped your lips. Oh, he thought.

So he let the silence surround you, a weight that he would bear so you wouldn't cry. That would be the worst possible outcome.

"You smell really bad. You haven't showered in a long time, have you?" You finally spoke, still refusing to look him in the eyes.

He laughed. It sounded hollow, but he didn't know how else to respond.

"The hospital gave me instructions on how to change your bandages after they get wet." You looked away. You knew it was a sore subject. "If you would allow me," you added softly, that look in your eyes spearing through his heart.

"I suppose it might be difficult to do on my own," he said. Strangely, it didn't terrify him as much as he thought it would. Everyone had scars. You would see his. He hadn't expected for you to show him yours.

It wasn't awkward. You removed his clothes, and there were no heated touches or flushed cheeks. It was tender, so much so it almost hurt more that way. He would've preferred it if you had stumbled, showing some sort of hesitation. He would've had something to deflect with that way.

His eyes, as accustomed to wandering as they were, were glued to your hands. They shook with the emotions you wouldn't voice. Even as you gently raised your shirt above your head, it was your hands he noticed. They weren't delicate by any means, he knew that well, but they seemed fragile now. You seemed fragile.

Together, you were seconds away from shattering. You were suspended in mid air the moment before the crash, aware of the impending breakdown you would surely endure, but taking the moment of calm before the storm.

The water was warm, but you felt warmer. Your fingers running through his hair and the sound of your breathing was almost enough to lull him to sleep. The wonderful smell of your shampoo, stronger at the source, wrapped him in a blanket of comfort as you washed away blood and grime from his skin and hair.

"Don't you ever try that again," you whispered. Your voice shook as you spoke. It made him feel guilty.

"I'm sorry," he responded. You both knew he couldn't promise that.

So you took the apology. It wasn't the first time he'd done something so idiotic. For someone who was so intelligent, he made the stupidest mistakes. It definitely wouldn't be the last.

"For once, I get why you hoard bandages," you muttered as you followed the instructions Yosano had given you, along with Dazai's little comments on how tight it was, what felt strange, or how to layer the bandage properly so it didn't come off.

He'd made another joke after that. You had huffed out a little laugh, but it brightened his mood considerably. You were starting to feel better.

Instead of talking about his scars, he asked about yours. "That one on your shoulder, how did you get it? And the one on your arm, wasn't that from a job he'd been on with you? What about this, here?" He asked. It distracted him and got you talking. He cherished each word and listened to each story.

Finally, you finished reapplying his bandages, and he'd run out of questions to ask. You sat on your knees in front of him, and he realized he hadn't stopped your fall.

A tear fell down your cheek, then another. You bit your lip, trying to force the sobs back down. You shook, the force of your own emotions too strong to deny.

He hesitated to reach for you. You'd never cried in front of him before. Even with the years you'd spend at his side, he'd never seen what happened once you reached the safety of your bedroom and allowed yourself to not have to be strong.

His fingers brushed against your cheek. His arm wrapped around your shoulders. He pulled you close and buried his face into your hair. He wouldn't watch, he promised. He was here.

You choked out insult after insult, your words catching in your throat. They hardly stinged with the usual harshness you threw at him. They rolled off his back like water droplets as he hugged you tight.

"I'm sorry," he said again. This time it held more than the apology. You wrapped your arms around him in return. He let you cry until you had nothing left in you.

He accompanied you to your kitchen, where you downed a glass of water and fed him a meal. He'd always liked it when you cooked for him, but this felt more special than usual. There was more heart in it.

He laid beside you as you fell asleep. Your eyes were still puffy and your face still red, but something about you was irresistible. He meant it when he called you beautiful.

"I love you too," you whispered as exhaustion pulled you under. He hadn't said it explicitly, but you'd heard. He loved you for that.

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[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapter 10

Friends and Foes

[Masterpost]

The chapter opens with the agency getting news of Atsushi’s capture after last chapter’s events. At first Ranpo and Kunikida respectively argue that the ADA isn’t responsible for saving Atsushi and that they have too much other work to worry about on account of a job involving the ministry. 

But then Fukuzawa appears, demanding everyone to suspend their work to track down Atsushi. Ranpo tries to argue with "logic," but Fukuzawa completely bulldozes him, asserting that Atsushi is their comrade and that he must therefore be their top priority. 

Fukuzawa stands out as the absurdist here to me, forgoing all typical professional protocol simply because one of his employees is in potential danger. Bureaucracy would want the agency to continue work as usual, favoring completing the assignments given to them over Atsushi’s safety, but Fukuzawa is not one to bow down to greater powers (at least, in this instance). 

Fukuzawa’s argument is one of humanity. Empathy. Care. For him, all these values trump Ranpo’s cold logic as he prioritizes the life of his employee over a government assignment. It's quite absurdist of him.

And finally… the moment we all have been waiting for… the infamous soukoku dungeon scene with the one and only babygirl himself, Chuuya Nakahara. What a lovely view indeed.

But in all seriousness, there’s something inherently absurd about the whole situation. Dazai has allowed himself to be captured by not only an enemy organization, but one he is a traitor of— all in the hopes of gaining information. Let it also be noted that Dazai’s coworkers have no idea of his plan at the current moment, he’s gone completely AWOL. And on top of that, he has willingly put himself in the position to converse with his former partner who undoubtedly resents him not only for his betrayal, but also for merely existing. 

And it works. 

His plan works! Despite not having seen or interacted with Chuuya for four years, he is able to flawlessly manipulate him into revealing the information he came for and gets off primarily unharmed (except for the bruises I’m sure will form from Akutagawa and Chuuya’s hits). Yes, Chuuya calls him out on his bluff (he knows he got captured on purpose), but Dazai is still able to convince Chuuya not to kill him. 

This is an example of a protagonist embracing the absurd and it working in their favor. Dazai could have tried a more conventional way of obtaining his intel, but he opted for this seemingly insane method instead. Very often, the absurdist protagonist has to take a wild chance on something despite the possible pitfalls. Put simply: you’ll never know if you don’t try.

Not only is the situation inherently absurd, but so too is their interaction. They bicker. They tease. Dazai makes Chuuya do an impression of a rich girl. It’s fucking ridiculous and it’s also all par for the course for their relationship.

I would like to quickly note here that in these analyses I will not be making a case for any ship, and that includes soukoku. It is no secret that I very much ship these idiots, but I can also acknowledge that Asagiri did not write these characters with the intention of building a romantic relationship and reading it as such is simply my interpretation. However, this does not mean that soukoku don’t have a very complicated, close, soulmate-esque bond. Platonic interpretations can still involve these traits.

Admittedly, I am jumping the gun a bit here, as this interaction doesn’t resolve until the next chapter, but I’ve read this scene so many times that I know what I want to say about it, so there it is!

As always, I’m always open to chat about my analyses! I love hearing feedback and additional thoughts, so feel free to reblog or drop questions in my ask box :)

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