#enough with the rambling about life

[sandinthepipes]

Something something the cracks you made I filled with mortar, our mortar was your laughter and you hurled curses at the land, all the words that came out wrong, a broken pot can still hold water, universes out of broken hands, symphonies and sweat and sex mean nothing when you are obsessed, in the wreck stands our piano like a wound i play our song to see if it's in tune

[dolleriumfluffle]

I just desperately want more recognition of traumagenic experiences that lie outside of the usual "childhood abuse" assumption that everyone forces on that label. what about trauma from bullying? what about trauma from undiagnosed illnesses? what about trauma from queer experiences like transphobia? what about trauma from medical experiences like surgeries, hospitalizations, psych wards, and other areas where the medical field failed you? what about trauma from eating disorders? what about trauma from racism?

there are so many experiences that can fall under traumagenic, but are yet swept under a rug in favor of a strict, stereotypical narrative that's easier to comprehend. I think we as a community need to make an active effort to expand our understanding of traumagenic, especially where it may overlap with experiences traditionally considered endogenic, and understand that trauma can come in so many different forms. so often people are shunned for trying to create roles and labels that describe their specific traumagenic experiences, and I don't understand why. there can be no progress towards acceptance for all systems if we don't accept that traumagenic is an umbrella label too.

[roxiusagi]

✨Cultivate: Slow Life on a Monster-Infested Mountain✨ by @neonghostcat - fan covers in the design style of seven seas danmei publishing ✿

sooo.. I know it would be more appropriate to post these once the fic is fully finished BUT i got too excited and was waiting too long already to post these hdjfhk and today is cultivate anniversary so appropriate excuse to post lets go!!! anyway theres only one chapter left to go so ppl who have been waiting to read it until its done the time is NOW! hahha

anyway fun fact this was originally going to be just 3 parter. but. at this point cultivate has surpassed svsss in word count if i am not mistaken......so ive decided that adding one more volume would be appropriate lol

oh well and here are the pieces by themselves

also... just to clarify im obviously in no way shape of form comparing myself to the quality of actual seven seas cover artist lmaoo hdjshf i hope thats obvious that this was just fun gimmick passion project

[myoonmii]

I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.

Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.

Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.

I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.

This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.

They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.

[lil-lemon-snails]

"I can't ignore what's under dancefloor boards, The rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat, But I still move my feet, to slip out of this groove, I'm free" ~ 2econd 2ight 2eer, Will Wood, The Normal Album

I have been plagued with visions of LDR Sun every time I listen to this song and I NEEDED to get this out of my system @spadillelicious when do we get to smooch the boy pLEASE

v textless version and close ups under cut!! v

[bandtrees]

they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one

alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way

[zishuge]

guys what the fuck. I just noticed this random throwaway line from episode 14 that i've literally never paid any attention to before. like this is something li lianhua has done so consistently through the years that he is famous for it and EVERYBODY knows this? as long as he has 50 taels of silver, he doesn't care to earn any more? .... you mean... like... ......as long as he has enough money to get the sigu sect leader token back from the pawn shop where he pawned it 10 years ago?

you mean to tell me that in all those years, he didn't care about going hungry, he didn't care about being penniless, but no matter what else happened, under any circumstance he needed to have at least 50 taels of silver on him? for 10 years? just in case he needed to go get his token? what the fuck li lianhua. it's been a full damn year, stop hurting my feelings like this

[kirby-the-gorb]

[agentark]

do you ever think about how in the literal very first scene with Rebecca, we learn that Unit Bravo had no idea she even had a kid

she chose UB and The Agency over the detective so consistently, so frequently, that her team didn't even consider that she had some kind of life outside of them, with someone waiting for her at home

[only-lonely-www]

So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck

[geneticdriftwood]

on dick grayson & roy harper & marriage

I mostly stand by what I said here on the dickroy marriage poll (in short: lmao, they’d barely even admit they’re in a relationship) BUT after more thought I believe there actually is a world where they’d get married ‘for love’?

now, imo roy would never be the one to propose. marriage just isn’t that meaningful to him; it’s not something he really cares about. (and even if it was, proposing would feel like an ultimatum he doesn’t want to set. when everyone always leaves you, you learn to be careful not to ask for too much.)

and while I DO believe marriage means something symbolically important to dick, it’s a pretty fraught topic for him, given past experiences! so I think dick would resist putting labels on his relationship with roy, because acknowledging that there’s a romantic element to the way they love each other opens their relationship up to failing the way dick's past romantic relationships have failed.

but if they’d been in a stable relationship for a while, and dick had worked through some of his issues? well. so much of their relationship has been defined by leaving and being left, by other things getting in the way. so if they finally worked it out, I could see dick proposing as a promise to roy that he’s committed to roy and the life they’re building together. that he’s sticking around. that their relationship (that roy) is worth prioritizing!

and marriage might not mean much to roy, but he knows that dick takes it seriously. he knows that if dick is offering ‘till death do us part’ now—after working through his shit enough to be honest with himself—then dick means it. and that would be VERY significant to roy. it wouldn’t change anything about their relationship on the surface! but it would soothe the part of him that’s always bracing for abandonment, and let him believe that this is something he might get to keep.

they still wouldn’t have a wedding tho. they’d get courthouse married on a random afternoon with just them and a witness, and then probably not actually bother to tell anyone* unless asked directly, besides casually referencing it when quipping at each other.

*except donna. she knows because dick talked it through with her before proposing.

[daily-odile]

Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why

have two bc i care them

[scificrows]

i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

[weatheredcopper]

fighting against fandom misogyny and the lack of interest in female characters by going completely the opposite way. i will make anything and everything about women if it kills me

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

MARTYN'S EXPRESSION GETS ME. litlerally live slug reaction.

[purpleangiie]

So, I was thinking about Dick Grayson, specifically Dick Grayson's head... when he was 7 he climbed up the stairs in the circus tend to get to the trapeze but slipped and fell down [Nightwing #114] A very funny way to get your first concussion, right? Of course, many more followed over the years (that's what happens when you become Robin!) Then, in his early 20s he was shot in the head — not as fun as a concussion. Now, that alone would be enough to ban him from any dangerous sport or activity for the rest of his life, but of course, Dick Grayson is Dick Grayson, who also happens to be Nightwing. So he kept doing his usual stuff, leaping from high buildings, doing acrobatics, punching — and getting punched — every damn night... all with just his domino mask covering his face (I mean, he got a damn head injury, you would think he would be wearing some kind of head protections, right? Wrong, because that would at least partially cover his amazing curls, and to Dick Grayson that would be equal to commit war crimes, so it's out of question) And of course he keeps getting hit in the head and getting concussions. Which leads us to our scenario:

It's a usual night out patrolling, and Dick and Tim are fighting some crooks. Nothing too big, until one of them hits Dick in the head (for the nth time!) It's a good one, but not hard enough to knock out a Batkid. Except, Dick Grayson's head is slightly more fragile than his brothers’, and the punch hits the point where he was previously shot. He gasps, and everything goes black for a moment. Dick Grayson falls, head spinning violently, his vision blurring as colors and sounds fade together. He hears Tim's distant voice calling him, to which he promptly replies with an unsteady "I'm fine", except of course he's not fine. He holds himself against the wall, his face crunched in a pained grimace, trying to stand up because Tim needs him and no way he gets knocked out so easily. But Tim shouts back, punching another guy in the face, "Stay there! Don't move!" followed by some swearing because dammit, Dick!

When the bad guys are fixed, Tim rushes to Dick, who is still miraculously awake.

"Jeez, you're bleeding."

"Am I? I didn’t realize it."

"Yeah..." Tim holds two fingers up. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Dick smirks. "I'd say three, but there’s four of you now, so maybe a couple more?"

There's a moment of silence. Tim sighs. He opens the comms.

"Red Robin here, I'm taking Nightwing back in. He's injured. It'd only be dangerous for him to keep patrolling."

Bruce's steady voice croaks in their ears. "Copy, Red Robin. What happened?"

And Dick, leaning against his brother as they reach the batmobile, darts a pleading look at him. It's almost working, until Tim speaks again over the comms: "He got hit in the head."

And all the Bats know what that means. A chorus of sighs raises:

"Again?!"

"You never learn, hm?"

"Is he unconscious? Do you need backup?"

"You're incorrigible!"

"Please, just take my helmet next time. I'd paint it blue if you want, but take it! — I have an entire stock at home, anyway."

And Dick, stumbling with his eyes half-closed and one of the worst migraine of his life, just smiles sheepishly. "Sorry!" he manages to crack over the comms as Tim rolls his eyes next to him.