#enough is enough i must do something
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have not spoken to my girlfriend in 12 hours. i think i might be dying.
how do people function alone where is the second half of my soul ahhhhhhh
#the funny thing is im also flaring quite badly#i want themmmmm#enough is enough i must do something#breaking into the pentagon or some shit#kidnapping them maybe#full on yandere mode#iiii might be a#simp#lesbian#obsessive love#love of my life#obsessed with them
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This is my favorite hobby~♥️
As long as I’m still interested in the things I make, then I’ll still share whatever I draw into this space :)
It’s nice to have other folks interested in the stuff I create because it’s exciting and fun to chitchat about it. But that’s all just bonus. I’m gonna make whatever I want whenever I want, no matter if others are interested in it or not lol
#I know that it used to be a rareship before episode 5#but even after ep 5#I got so many messages or comments across platforms that were along the lines of ‘boo radioapple boo!!’#but I just kept at it because 1. i was now a possessed woman and 2. i liked writing n drawing radioapple#I’d also get messages when I draw radiohusk like ‘ew mare is pro ship’ and after I learned what that meant#those disinterested folks still weren’t gone stop me lol#toxic yaoi is good shit#anyway all this to say everyone should just have fun with their hobby#I think if I had 2 followers I’d still post just as much#but the quality of my art would probably be pretty bad LOL#a huge reason why I started feeling motivated to improve was because really talented hazbin artists followed me#and suddenly I was like *OVERDRAMATIC ANIME GASP* ‘I can’t let them down…’#haha no but there is something about having an artist you admire start to follow you that makes you like ‘I must get stronger’#this is fun in its own way haha#i do try to keep that element from making me feel pressure tho#I mean yall have seen my chicken scratch doodles#ight enough rambling it’s 3am#(I went to bed too early T_T)
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I love libraries.
I'm browsing the WWI shelves (as you do) and notice a very old book about the war. I glance at the first pages that talk about how one day the war will be over and we'll look at this place and not see any signs of the battlefield.
Then it hits me. And I check the publishing date.
This book was printed before the war's end. Not written. Printed. The physical object was created in 1918, while the war in question was raging and the end was as yet uncertain.
Now I'm standing on the other side of the apocalypse, with this physical link to that era in my hands. I'm living proof that the war did end and life did go on and we can all look at the end of the world as a long-ago memory.
Reading old books is cool enough, connecting our minds and hearts through the ideas of people who lived long ago, but there's something extra profound about holding a copy of the book that comes from the time that it was written. It's a physical link between the past and the present connecting me to those long-ago people. A piece of the past come into the future that gives me the chance to almost take the hand of some long-ago reader, to hold something they could have held, connecting not just mentally but physically to their era, a moment of connection across more than a century.
Excuse me while I go weep.
#books#history is awesome#of course i checked it out#i had no real intent to read wwi non-fic but i couldn't just leave my new friend there it'd be lonely#i want to break out in tears every time i look at it#it's so stupid but sometimes something stupid just kicks you straight in the heart and you just gotta deal#it's old front line by john masefield#i know nothing about it except thinking the author's name sounded vaguely familiar#also the interior design is fantastic#these old books know how to use white space and make something super readable#if you must know i was in the wwi section because i was at the history museum the other day#and saw a local author had a book of wwi letters#thought i'd see if the library had it#looked at the selection of non-fic surrounding it and thought of the wwi persuasion#saw many books that could be useful#and thought 'oh no this looks like fun'#it won't go anywhere i know i won't be able to focus long enough to do real research#but darn if it wasn't an appealing little daydream
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More Jason and Cass thoughts (sorry but also not sorry) but if I was magically given full control over DC and could write what I'd want obviously I'd make Cass Batman but I've been thinking of what sort of reaction and role Jason would have in response. I think I'd write his version of "Congrats on the new job!" as a test, involving the Joker and civilians and gangs and Red Hood and a ton of explosives. Bruce failed me, and now he's given up. You're his successor, let's see how you handle this dilemma that freaked him out so badly he threw a batarang into my throat rather than let me avenge my own death in front of him.
So obviously Cass will overcome the traps and the puzzles. That's the fun part to show how competent both of them are and sprinkle in little character moments as we go. But then we reach the emotional crux of the matter, probably laid out as some sort of saw trap because it's Jason. Here I am, a victim of murder. You say nobody dies tonight but I did, and I want the man who did it dead. Not only did Batman fail to avenge me but he failed to stop the Joker from going on to create even more victims. What right do you have to stop me from getting justice for myself? What right does this man have to life after what he's taken from me and from countless others? I'm not trying to kill a random stranger, I'm specifically demanding justice for my own death that I never got while I was gone.
There are two ways this could go. The straightforward route if I knew my time on this run was limited would probably be a pyrrhic victory like the ones Cass's og series was so fond of. Just like Bruce in utrh, she acts on instinct and saves the Joker (and Jason this time) . A win technically, but she fails the test. Jason is once again vindicated but with nothing to show for it. The story ends with Cass sending the Joker back to jail and going back to the batcave, where the old Robin costume looms judgementally, highlighting her failure. It would be the most fitting end given their character molds, all tragedy and conviction and unstoppable force meets immovable object etc.
However... I think the option I prefer would be a little different. Cass levelling with Jason, a killer talking to a murder victim. She has no right to stop Jason from getting justice, she has no love for the Joker but she knows any death she allows to happen like this would devastate her, just like that death row inmate long ago she tried to break out but ended up letting go once the family of the victim talked to her and demanded justice. I think... In this specific situation, she'd just be honest. Morally she has no right sure. Personally she just really really doesn't want anyone to die. Give her one chance, please. Let her try it her way. Not demanding, not lecturing or insisting, just... Please. Don't do this. Let me try another way.
And then what? Jason asks.
In the end a deal is struck. Cass will take the Joker and lock him up, ensuring he never harms anyone again while also trying to rehabilitate him. But the second she fails and he gets free, Jason kills him and she won't stand in his way. It's the kind of deal that leaves both of them mildly disgusted and dissatisfied with themselves, neither of them naturally creatures of compromise when it comes to this specific topic. But Cass is willing to do anything to avoid death and Jason did not expect the new Bat to be so... Flexible? Kind of? Of course maybe she won't actually hold up her end of the deal and when the Joker gets loose she'll try and stop Jason from killing him and he'll get his miserable vindication, but right now this is something strange and new and he's mildly confused and curious about where it will go. He doesn't believe in her ability to contain the Joker forever but he's willing to let her try because her reaction to that future failure interests him. She's given him a sword of damocles to hang above her head and he didn't ask for it or expect it. It's the type of power he never thought the Bat would just... Hand to him.
The conflict ends with neither of them fully winning or losing. They both don't really know what to feel about this.
The thing is, the second Cass let's Jason kill the Joker she's hanging up the mantle. She's staking the Bat on this, because it's always go big or go home with her when it comes to saving others, even someone like the Joker. In this magical universe where I have unlimited power, Cass would lock the Joker in a secret bunker and have Leslie Thompkins talk to him daily, mostly because I think her pacifism speeches and debates in the comics would make a fun contrast to the Joker's evil sadism. (But what about his rights? Doesn't he deserve a trial and to be held in a regular prison? I'm going to be honest I think Cass would be very comfortable bending the rules on this specific situation. Morally questionable but I'd have fun with it. She's going to let Leslie treat Joker like her personal pet project to save his soul because yes she wants him to change but also she's got a city to save every night so go crazy Leslie, have fun.)
And the Batman series would continue with Cass as the lead, new challenges and new antagonists and every twenty issues or so for the first hundred we'll cut back to the Joker briefly if his chats with Leslie can help highlight some thematic element of the current arc. But bit by bit he'd slowly fade away onto oblivion, maybe getting referenced every hundred issues or so until eventually no one remembers or cares about him because there's so much else going on. Meanwhile Jason's got a good thing going as Red Hood, primarily based in Park Row and a tentative ally on the occasion when their vigilante work aligns. Unlike Joker he's a much more frequent character in the comics, and after say 10 years (this is my magical fantasy universe Cass's batman run is going to last for a very long time alright) when people think of DC characters they think of Red Hood long before they think of the Joker.
Is any of this realistic? Right now of course not. It's why I'd go with the pyrrhic victory if I actually got the chance, because it would be the best way to tell the story in the larger context of the Bat narrative. But it's my fantasy DC editor and writer daydream and I'm going to dream big. They're never going to be normal happy siblings, their personal demons will never fully let them be free and the looming possibility of losing everything they currently have narrative wise if Bruce comes back as Batman will always be there. But it's maybe the closest to peace they'll ever get. Unsatisfying and tame compromise that probably violates several laws and ethical codes but whatever. Cass has never read the Geneva convention and Jason's not going to shed tears over the Joker. Let him die relevancy wise if not physically.
#dc#cassandra cain#batfam#dc rambles#Jason Todd#In terms of the larger meta narrative ultimately whether the Joker dies or gets locked up is irrelevant#But Cass will never be willing to just let someone die without trying to the very end to make her case for their life#And I think it's entirely possible Jason would reject her proposal and we're back to square one#But I think the two main reasons to me that he'd accept is one. Cass betting her career on this. She doesn't need to do that.#She could save the Joker and fail Jason's personal test and that would be that. Her actually reaching out#Being willing to risk something precious just to try and compromise with Jason. It would be more than he expected#From a family that he understandably believes he does not matter enough to#And secondly is the long term consequence of the Joker fading into irrelevancy while Jason maintains his prominence as a character#A reverse of his death where he was turned into nothing but a footnote and a memorial for Batman angst#While the Joker went on to gain even more narrative power as Batman's Greatest Enemy#Now he is nothing. And Jason is alive and a solid part of the mythos#It would take time obviously but ultimately from a Doylist sense to me it's the most satisfying resolution#Maybe after like 10 years Cass can die again briefly the Joker gets out and Jason gets to kill him to give Maps some fun Robin angst#But ultimately it's very important to me that if Cass becomes batman the Joker must become irrelevant#He's just not useful enough thematically to be worth his current narrative weight when she's running the show
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#must a gif set have a purpose#is it not enough to see the ambiguity of eddie diaz... huge...#honestly i was doing something else and his anime eyes and future best friend's piss poor attitude bewitched me again so...#tv: 911#911 abc#911 fox#911edit#911gifs#911verse#eddie diaz#ryan guzman#tvgifs#televisiongifs#tvedit#mythtakensgif#cinemapix#dailyflicks
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i didnt plan to spend my sunday this way
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#'snap how do you keep finding yourself in these situations' I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW LISTEN TO ME#so all i did last night was draw erik in his lil robe from ToM cause my twitter was liking that old drawing i did#and then i woke up wanting to draw his stupid Lougne Wear when he's on the meteor yk the one Sanctuary From 92#so i started flipping through my 92 art book to find the ref for it then i just kept reading until i got to the end where i saw the#how they say 'anime influenced' designs and i had already wanted to draw charles' chari from that at some point#but THEEEEN I NOTICED HE HAD A LIL RING WITH A RED STONE ????#its on his right hand so Whatever but charles xavier you are not slick i know what you are ........#if i make that ring a staple in my classic charles drawings dont look at me itll depend on the weather tho tbh ANYWAYS#and then i remembered i had my old Cave Dweller Charles sketches from ever ago and i was like#'well i might as well finish those' but then i draw two more. and then i was like#'well since im here ive always wanted to draw charles in that robe erik gives him after saving him from the snow storm'#'in' is a very generous term it is falling OFF him but STILL#i should do something about that lil snow storm rescue now that ive mentioned it .. tho maybe i can tie it in with my 309 thing ..#SO FUNNY I WAS GONNA CONTINUE WORKING ON T HAT TODAY. AND NOW WE'RE HERE#this is what i mean guys its a nightmare and a miracle i can get anything done ever when i get distracted so easily#.i was gonna include another doodle of charles in his lil battle outfit but then i figured id done enough solo charles doodles today#anyways. plesae enjoy !!!!!!! i MUST objective charles more.....
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you're standing where a garden should be
#fantasy high#fh class quangle#figueroth faeth#fhjy#barbarian!fig for me specifically#this entire doodle is hyper self indulgent lol#but this is! my house! and I do what I want!#once in a while gotta draw something with some movement to know that I still can#please know I only dont draw canon fig a lot bc I always want to draw her with her bass and that is Hard#why are guitars the stupidest shape ever invented#auuuuu.... soon.... blowing up#I am so sleepy but I hope. oh I dearly hope. I can hold out long enough to watch new ep with my friend. ouhhhh#fantasy high junior year#I must be off now... in preparation.... wawawawa
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something something about how they created a silly little dance - which angels are not meant to do
because Aziraphale doesn’t know how to ask for forgiveness - angels are meant to give out forgiveness not receive it
#especially from demons#idk if this makes sense#it’s almost 3am#and i need sleep#there must be something i can do for you#the magic show wasn’t enough so crowley makes him do the dance#good omens#good omens 2#good ineffable omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#apology dance
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I desperately need a scene where the IC are having dinner and the topic of tamlin gets brought up and they start talking shit about him and going on about how he deserves everything thats happening to him and lucien’s just sitting there gripping his fork,jaw twitching,eyes simmering,hands shaking with rage as he tries so hard to keep his mouth shut because now is not the time to say something stupid—but they just keep talking and talking and talking until eventually he has enough and gives everybody a vanserra style telling off 😁.
#he’s a little protective of tamlin#just a little#it would go something like “if any of you even had a sliver of decency you wouldn’t be shit talking my friend right in my front of my face”#I mean did nobody teach you table manners?Mother above if you must speak of him atleast do it behind my back.”#“because quite frankly I will not sit here and tolerate anybody talking this way about my friend”#“You know some would say it’s quite stupid to badmouth someone whose the sole reason your highlord is even breathing”#ok enough#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#lucien vanserra#pro lucien vanserra#tamlin#pro tamlin#tamcien#pro tamcien#anti inner circle
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the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.
#jack facts#like do they think we don't notice#i truly do hate it here#i really do think that we should get to a ''you ruined it for everyone'' threshhold with ads at this point tbh#circulating ads should be a need based allowance#below a certain nw you can circulate as many ads as you want provided they follow guidelines#then above a certain nw you get a quota. you can have x number of ads circulating at a time.#and i don't mean distinct different ads that can be put wherever. no. if you have an ad on youtube that counts as one#and if you put the SAME AD on a different platform or tv channel or at the fucking gas station pumps or on a billboard or ANYWHERE#each different instance of the ad counts as another ad in your quota!#& if you have like a 1min skippable + a 30sec unskippable v of the same ad on the same platform. that counts as two. FUCK you.#and then above another nw line. you cannot have ads at all. bye you don't need them they serve no purpose they are just annoyances.#also paying influencers to hawk your shit counts as ads! fuck you!! paid word of mouth is not actual wom that is also an ad! fuck you!!!#oh u want ppl to rec ur product & u don't have any ad spots left?? well sugar you better have a fucking good product then lol :) fuck you#also if a co breaks an ad reg that co and any co it owns/parents can never make another fucking ad ever again in its existence#AND if a ceo breaks an ad reg w one co then disbands it and makes a new co and breaks ad reg w that one#then the CEO or any co they have ANY % ownership or investment in can never make an ad ever again. FUCK you.#charities/nonprofits and sole proprietorships get one (1) appeal to a total ad ban#that's IT!! ENOUGH!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND ONE MORE THING. ''pay us not to see ads on our platform/app/other thing'' should also be illegal.#''pay us for basic ass functions'' illegal. pay to win. illegal. sale/product announcements in things that are not press. illegal.#creating an ad or listing for something that doesn't exist and only manufacturing it after it is purchased. illegal.#ads that are full screen when a user has not already selected full screen on a video player. illegal.#pop up ads. illegal.#ads with audio on a platform that doesn't. illegal. video ads on a platform that doesn't have video. illegal.#ads w epilepsy triggers. illegal everywhere forever always w out needing to be reported by consumers. cannot be circulated in the 1st place#ads w graphic violence or soundscapes that mimic it. see epilepsy triggers.#ads for things that are not actually consumer products. illegal.#anything else u want to circulate like an ad must go thru other regs to qualify as psa or edu. if it doesn't qualify tough shit get fucked.#[insert gif collage of people talking extensively while wildly gesturing for emphasis here]
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☆ from gold, i am undone
{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, implied self harm, implied suicide attempts {☆} word count 0.9k
You weren't meant to be here.
You can feel it in the marrow of your bones– it weighs you down like heavy shackles, gold bleeding from your pores until it is all you know. The taste of ichor on your tongue, the warmth of its invasion beneath your skin, that gleam of gold that lingers in the color of your eyes like specks of dust.
You are changed, and you are whole.
But you are so unbearably broken.
A shattered piece of porcelain hastily put back together with gold to fill the cracks.
Decoration, in the end, for you are not fit to walk as "mortals" do. This gold had filled every empty crevice of your body, spilled the red into your frantic hands and made you bleed so it's callous gold could make room inside your body. It has taken from you many things, given many more, but you scratch and bite and tear until it drips onto the floor and even then it never leaves. It stains the floor no matter how hard you scrub– a permanent reminder of the sickening gold that molds you into something that used to look like you– that does look like you. Desecrated, yet so horribly divine.
All you see is a monster.
Something new, something old.
A hollowed out shell, wounds left to rot and fester until you suited the image of the Creator they bore upon statues and murals, the Creator worshiped in prayers spoken in hushed whispers and joyous chants praising your magnificence.
But what magnificence is there in detachment? What joy is there to be found in carving a God out of a human? They kneel like lambs before the shepherd, but the flock has made you– and you want to unmake them. Unweave the tapestry of their being stitch by stitch until it all falls apart and the world knows the cost of casting molten gold into the shape of a human, knows the price that has been left unpaid.
You want to take it from them. Watch them squabble and pray, blind sheep stepping into the wolf's open maw– to tear the seams of their being until the world is unwound by your heavy hands.
But you know it will not satisfy you.
Nothing does anymore.
You are no wolf. Only the shepherd who guides.
And with every drop of blood spilled, they ripped the humanity from your very bones until your body was the cast in which they made something anew– something gold, something horrific. A monster as much a God, a beast as much a man.
There is nothing left but absolute authority.
You try again and again to mend this act of desecration, to peel back the outer shell and rend the gold from your marrow– but your body cannot, will not, die. It mends itself back into place no matter how damaged, and all you feel is the uncomfortable tug of your body forcing itself to live. You cannot die, but were you ever truly alive at all?
Yet with every cycle, you know only one constant besides the thrum of golden ichor in your veins– cold.
Ice that burns, ice that spreads and festers and devours. Claws that pull you apart until the gold runs thick, teeth that burrow into your bones and rip it out from the source..eyes that witness the fall of a God with reverence– hungering, all consuming reverence.
You welcome it.
It is the first time you felt pain since you were cast into an image of a being you were not meant to be. The sting of cold upon your skin makes you shiver, your body tries to reject it, but you want to welcome it– for a brief moment that lasts only as long as it takes for you to blink, you see the glint of something familiar in the reflection of her empty eyes. Something achingly, horribly familiar– something human, all the more terrifying for it.
Even when Teyvat itself crumples like paper beneath the weight of her sins – of this desecration anew, this wretched heresy – you allow her hands to do it again. You grasp her hands in yours like chains, willing her to shackle you, willing her to pull you apart and make you whole again. To break you until the gold cannot put you back together again.
You long, each time, for those eyes like spears that lodge into your skin– burrow deep and sting deeper, making gold flow like water. You long for the biting tongue, the cutting words and those teeth like weapons– long to see the spite and anger and impure disgust aimed at the woman of silver who leads you down a hall that ends only in damnation. You follow each time like the lamb led astray by the wolf, but you do not wail in betrayal when she sinks her teeth into your throat and devours you whole.
For is it a sin if you welcome it? Has their God sinned, in the eyes of the flock, for welcoming such heresy with open arms? For allowing the wolf into their home?
Is it a sin to be broken beneath the only hands that have loved you?
Is it a sin to want to love, too, those hands and teeth stained in gold?
Then you shall be damned, you swear it. Damned, but gold no more.
For death is the closest you have ever felt to being human.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#tsaritsa#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa x reader#this is. technically not a sequel but not a prequel but a secret third thing (mental health crisis)#kidding i just wanted 2 write the prev fic from more reader oriented pov bc it wasnt fucked up enough!!!!!#i need fucked up reader who is irreparably changed in horrifying ways!!!!!! and they cant die bc teyvat kinda needs them 2 uh#exist at all. and if u die well thats it. hits reset button#the horrifying fate of a mortal forced to be a god against their will and all the drawbacks that come with it#where is love to be found when they all cannot see themselves as anything but beneath you? there will always be imbalance#oh they try. they claw and scramble and beg but being the creator has changed you.#none of their worship. none of their sacrifices and gifts and pleas make you feel a thing and what a haunting thing it must be#do they reject it? delude themselves into thinking that they must try harder?#or do they accept that this is a god? absolute. horrifying in its entirety. something that even the archons cannot truly understand#a manmade god who seeks absolution in only the most heretical. the most blasphemous#literally shaking chewing on the bars of my cage LET ME OUT#i love deep dives like this sorry 2 everyone i made think i was normal my bad#i just think immortality and godhood r funky concepts and i love making them WORSE#also this took so long because i was playing b@Idurs g@t3 3 erm. censored so it doesnt show up in tags PLEASE DONT SHOW UP IN TAGS#taking i need the tsaritsa to bite me to a whole new entirely worse level!!#i just think (starts talking for 5 hours straight and doesnt Shut Up)#this one is also. considerably more openly fucked up then the other fic. even if its hidden behind flowery language uh. take it seriously.#okay im done no more angst its fluff from here on out i need 2 be NORMAL. i am a normal well functioning adult. maybe.
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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my capacity to see a bad fandom take and just blithely say 'okay! I disagree' internally and move on because it's not my responsibility or concern that someone else thinks that has leveled up so tremendously over the years. I haven't quite escaped the pit of misery yet but I think I'm getting there
#the ability to say to oneself 'it's okay if you don't agree with me'#(and possibly adding a quiet bitchy 'I can't force you to be right' at the end if you're annoyed enough lol)#at seeing a bad take without ever internalizing it any deeper than that... indispensible.#if someone is really unpleasantly vitriolic or reactive about it I'll just block and move on. and never think about them again#a gift for me and for them I'm sure! but as long as people are being civil I'm getting pretty good at just going 'alright.#I think you're wrong but it's your prerogative to think that. away from me preferably but still'#when I was younger I always felt like a more negative take must be more valid/see something I didn't but over time (and a lot of therapy)#that kneejerk self-doubt is a lot easier to get through. sometimes. people are wrong! to me and my experience. and that's alright#if nothing else understand your own limitations in ever changing someone's mind for them and let it go lol#when I feel the real badfeels at a shitty take now I know it's just because I'm tired and threadbare and need to sleep haha#sometimes mental health progress is sooooo... boring and low-key but also brings so much relief#like doing admin work up here. *sees something so dumb I feel dizzy* file that shit under 'not my problem' and move on chief
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sydney is too young for carmy. its grooming tbh very weird of carm to look at syd that way when she's his mentee and looks up to him. disgusting that creeps like u ship it
We don't have a canon age for Sydney or Carmy so I'm going off their actors' ages.
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A four year difference is too much for you?? Lol. This isn't grooming and realistically most relationships can have this dynamic. Anon I invite you to the real world where rarely you will find people who date are on the exact same level (please don't come at me with this "power imbalance" shit too lol)
Also if you think I'm a creep I don't really care. Being an adult means I can do what I want without caring about randoms on the internet think of me.
A lot of you also use purity culture/false virtuosity to bully people, too; don't think I don't notice how you're subtly trying to equate this to actual pedophilia. Genuinely, you do a disservice to actual issues when you pull this shit.
#this also isnt even my worst ship in terms of age gap#you do you#but just let me do me lol#the bear fx#ask#anon#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#ngl something very catholic about the way anons come in here harping about this#like why can you not just let people do what they want#the internet has made some of you so relentlessly nosy#its not enough to ship and let ship#now it's 'youre morally a bad person and you should feel bad!!'#what if i like the fact that sydney is his mentee?? oh noo what then??#fuck yall lol everything has to be so boring and sanitized and not real#like i think most of these askers are young and never experienced real life romance#so they think everything must be a perfect fairytale or its problematic#no babe the oddities are what keep it interesting#this is almost as bad as those people who say sydney x richie is a father daughter ship
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yeah yeah trick weekes says whatever about it not making sense that solas couldnt sneak off THEY FAILED TO CONSIDER that maybe he just is ass at it when he gets invested. much like. the whole fucking rest of the romance where he COMPLETELY fails to resist until the breakup.
anyway.
im personally of the opinion that he's more liable to slip up - fail at sneaking, accidentally reveal details, contradict himself - when he actually makes bonds with people. which is why after trespasser he goes and lives alone in the lighthouse for ten years but i digress.
and i think "that", the bonds tripping him up, should be reflected in his exit from the Inquisition. you're enemies or neutral, yeah he just vanishes. there's nothing to keep him there, nothing to interfere with his plans and intentions. you're (ex)lovers? i think he still would pull back purposefully and probably vanish, but there would be definite hesitation. he would have to force himself to do so, because fuck, he wants to stay. he wants to be close to you. but he also, crucially, knows that you have a dangerous sway over him, so he MUST disengage. if you're friends, it takes him some effort. because he does like you, he doesn't want to do what he has to, it's been so long since he had people who were friends to him, and he doesn't have to force himself away because he's in too deep. he knows you would worry about him. he might not be willing to give anyone the truth - but he would owe you a goodbye, at the very least. especially if you weren't the type to try to convince him to stay.
#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age: inquisition#da:i#solavellan#if you squint#idk. romance has way more volatility to it than friendship and kinship. it tends to blow up and make people more angry and bitter#but i think parting on good terms that are later revealed to have been false terms is a massive gut punch#like ive gone into it before but revallen is not the type to let his friends just. go. without doing something#he's too traumatized. thats why he has his goodbye habit of giving them a kiss laden with a protection spell before letting them go#because he let his wife go without one and she was killed#so he's observant of the signs of someone leaving#he would notice solas's absence immediately and chase him down.#even for goodbyes that are hasty and one sided you will get a kiss - forehead or cheek or hand - and that protection spell#otherwise he cannot sleep at night#and on solas's end - he does not want to admit it but i do think he likes it. he likes having the bonds of friendship and kinship#even if they must be short lived. even if only for a moment. i think he knows he must keep himself apart but he longs for them#and cannot force himself not to#he may not even realize that he's relenting but he does. even if only a little. even if only long enough for a kiss and a fond goodbye
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alright I'll cave and finally post about this, I've sat on it for at least two weeks at this point.
this is inspired by Snakes in the Garden by Miss_Ginger_Bread on AO3. fantastic fic, I've never read anything and have images come to my head the way this fic made me.
idk or I could just be a sucker for sibling bonds and this hit the right spots. either way, it is phenomenal and I really enjoyed it.
me rambling about art below, really not important I just feel I had things to say. for better or for worse.
traditional art kills me. forgive me, I don't have the motivation to set up my drawing tablet so I've done everything traditionally for the last month or so. yes I am aware I screwed the gravity falls style up a bit, I promise it bothers me more than it does you. this piece went from being in a completely different style to borderline gravity falls style and I'm still not 100% sold on it, but I'll live.
also stan's right (left..?) hand, the one gripping the wheel, makes me angry. I screwed the lines up and then couldn't fix them the farther along I got so it just looks goofy. and the colours just aren't right. but it's markers, you gotta do what you gotta do. I could go on, but I'm going to stop now.
okay I'm posting this now before I chicken out and save it in my drafts for another few weeks I'll come back and fix any issues if I can look at this post after this
#gravity falls#art#fanart#sketch#traditional art#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#honestly who names their kids stanley and stanford. everytime I remember that I die a little more.#fanfic#??? is this an appropriate tag?#how do I tag this.#inspired by a fantastic fic#I've never loved something as much as this one it's#I need to punch a wall or something#that's the only thing that will quell the feelings this fic gives me.#have I rambled enough?#i am cringe#but i am free.#cant believe I'm posting about a fic on main. someone kill me.#time to either regret this or really love it but either one way there's no coming back from this one#I love this fic so much however I must remind you of how scared I am.#fic authors do the work of god every day#you are my life blood please keep doing what you do
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