#either way. hope there’s more soon!

[glitchkoi]

UWE is certainly turning out to be. Something!

[daz4i]

i think this is the most genuine emotion we've seen from nikolai ever. and the fact he seems unsure about how he's feeling, how it's seemingly contradicting, imo works really well with his character

he's all about saying things that contradict each other and imo, there is always some truth to both sides of what he says

so. here. i think some part of him was happy to be free of his only bond... but then it got overtaken with the part of him that realizes this bond wasn't. like. as constricting as he first thought

it seems that at the end of it all he somehow even WANTED to get that bond running deeper. imo, it was to feed both sides of him - the side that wants to be free can't actually prove his free will if they weren't that close in the first place, they barely interacted before, it's almost like killing any other person. on the other hand, he also genuinely likes fyodor and wants to be closer bc well. he is "perfectly sane". he is, underneath it all, still a person deep down, as much as he might hate that.

when fyodor threatens to take him out in the future he doesn't seem scared, but he also doesn't seem particularly excited i think? (or maybe that's just how he expresses his genuine, non-performative excitement, who knows.) at the same time, he also doesn't seem to want to kill him now, to follow him, like he's keeping it for that new game he was just promised

but then fyodor dies. and he won't get a chance to play it. and in a way, that takes from his freedom too, isn't it? his freedom to choose how his bond with fyodor will be. in a way, fyodor dying took away from his free will.

i truly believe nikolai is. maybe not selfish but certainly self-centered or self-serving enough to be sad over, and forgive me for this analogy, his toy getting broken. I'm certain he's also genuinely sad about his only friend dying, and so gruesomely too, but i wouldn't be surprised if at his core this is what makes him this sad. and i think that also leads to his conflicting emotions about fyodor's death

i also think that thing dazai pointed out about fyodor's lack of trust plays a part in nikolai's grief here. to him, fyodor is the only one who understood him, the only one who made him feel seen, and as far as we know the only person who was important to him. but he probably knew the feeling wasn't mutual. still, this was the nail in the coffin, confirming fyodor never saw him as a friend as well, not even as an ally.

i don't have an actual conclusion here, just speculation on nikolai's internal turmoil and how he might feel now. i really hope (and expect) we will see him again, and i wonder if this event will change anything about him.

i speculated in the past that his eye cover is a symbol of his bond with fyodor. and today, he took it off after fyodor died. i wonder, if the next time we see nikolai, he will still wear it or not (or possibly wear a new one). i guess we'll see!

[skunkes]

gonna keep making this post forever i guess because it just keeps getting wilder the more time passes and my brain forgets the immediate sensations/experience but i can't believe i got SURGERY. CRAZY. Not even this specific surgery but the fact that I got any surgery at all!!! SO WILD

[pitske]

Godzillaaaaaa :3

inspired by the Shin Godzilla posters

[deus-ex-mona]

kinda thinking about t h e m again…

[dawnthefluffyduck]

hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)

[honorary-fool]

"Due to recording arrangements, this video's audio will be Japanese. We apologize for any inconvenience caused."

"Due to recording arrangements"

[natreads]

I got a job as a bookseller!!!

[jwooyoung]

hi everyone I miss you 🥺

[sisterdivinium]

Warrior Nun Commentfic Fest! Week 3 Round Up

This week we've had 2 new prompts, adding up to our 31 total, as well as 3 new fills joining the other 16.

Whether it's a curious encounter facilitated by a cat named Lilith, a young Bea having to go grocery shopping, or Jillian and Mother Superion gleefully drunk together, even the low participation didn't altogether stop the fest activities and there's still something for everyone to read -- just as there is always space for new prompts!

Come and join us to see what was created up until now as well as to welcome the new week of the fest! Leave a prompt of your own, submit a fill, leave a comment on one of the fics that are already there, tell a friend... Everyone is invited!

[sysig]

Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)

[nxctern]

There’s been something building up in my chest and mind for a while now

It’s an odd feeling

[bangcakes]

.

[gh0str3c0rd3r]

why has it been geting so hard to breathe latly lmao <- surprisjgky unbothered

[alchemiclee]

sometimes I think about how everyone is so obsessed with how they look and think other peoples' opinions are what determine if they are attractive or not. by that logic, i'm one of the ugliest people to ever exist because i've never, to my memory, had a random person tell me i'm attractive in any way just by looking at me. I've only had people give me pity compliments after I say something like the last sentence lmao. but I don't accept those. I don't want your pity

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of