#either way I love that bit of animation of him just working those moves like a boss that he is

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Yes, of course I had to gif this moment of Leo just busting a move before wrecking Carl Sando with an atomic cream pie. It'd be a serious crime not to.

[hueseok]

it was always you.

for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.

so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.

or at least, that’s what you think.

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 13.2k

rating: 18+

content: fluff, semi-angst, childhood friends to lovers au, pining au | ft. naval aviator!jungkook + brother’s best friend!jungkook; professor!reader + editor!reader | inspired by purple hearts

warning/s: swearing, potentially wrong medical & military information (i’m sorry but i tried to do as much research i can 😭), mentions of having type 1 diabetes, making out, heavy petting, implied sexual content: oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (this is only fiction!)

MINI PLAYLIST: ♫ die with a smile — lady gaga, bruno mars ♫ juno — sabrina carpenter ♫ selfish — *nsync ♫ nandito na ako — benj pangilinan, angela ken

opening note. omg this is my first full length fic in two damn years i think??? certainly took a long time before i had the motivation to write again but i hope y'all like this! to my og readers who still keep up with my shenanigans, this one's for you 🥹💗

“Any questions?”

A boy wearing half-rimmed glasses raises his hand and you gesture for him to speak. “Can we get an extension on the Save the Cat project due tomorrow?”

You sigh, just as several of your students begin agreeing with him and muttering reasons of their own why the extension should be approved. It’s the week before finals, and you’re aware that the class must be packed with assignments and projects for several of their classes because of it, hence the rather last minute request. They look tired and pleading, a complete reflection of how you were when you were the one in their position nearly a decade ago, begging for an extension from a professor who you thought was kind enough to be swayed with the proposition.

You scan the crowd. “How many of you are at least 70% with it, hm?”

More than half of the class raises their hands.

“Okay, that’s honestly unexpected,” you say, pleased to know that they aren’t slacking on your subject. “Does Monday sound good? That’s three more days, to be fair. I don’t want to extend it further because I have to read everyone’s work and you guys know I don’t like rushing it before turning in your final grade.”

A chorus of relief and thanks echoed in the room, all of your students either dramatically sinking in their chair or erupting in an animated conversation with their seatmate or making crying faces to portray how grateful they are.

“Thank you so much, Ms. ____!”

“I love you, Ms. ____!”

“Ms. ____, I will offer my first child to you,” one theatrically adds and you smile a bit, rolling your eyes at students like this one who is now opting to flatter you way too much for your act of kindness.

“Alright, alright. Just get it done and I’m expecting quality work, okay? Class dismissed.”

The whole class begins to gather their things at the cue and you don’t stay there a minute longer after your announcement, exiting the lecture hall to head to the faculty room where you’re certain half of the teaching staff have gone home already. It’s already 8:47 p.m., and all you want to do is head home to get the rest you deserve after an eventful day.

There was a time that having a schedule from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. wasn’t the norm for you. You used to value work life balance so much—it was even a nonnegotiable you used to say in interviews, saying that if you didn’t get enough rest within the week, then the job most likely wasn’t for you. But things have been very different for the past months; you have definitely grown out of that mindset due to the fact that you’re simply in need of another source of income to pay for your monthly rent, utility bills, and now your medication. You’re in a stage of your life wherein you consider working part time as a professor was a blessing rather than a big nuisance.

Making a right turn to where the hallway to the faculty room is, you’re too busy rearranging the papers inside the folder you’re holding to notice a man sitting on the bench placed just beside the entrance. He notices you the second you appear in his line of vision though; he straightens his posture and proceeds on standing up immediately upon seeing you closer, calling your name softly when you failed to look at his direction, too preoccupied with the thought of finally coming home that you’re oblivious that the man trying to catch your attention is Jeon Jungkook.

“____,” he calls again and this time you notice him, your eyes widening instantly.

“Holy shi—” You stop yourself from finishing that sentence. “Jungkook?”

He grins. “Hey, lamb chop.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Is that how you greet an old friend?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

He laughs, following suit to you who’s already giggling just by his presence alone, outstretching his arms then. “You gonna hug me or what?”

You beam and step forward to embrace him. He returns it without hesitation, muscular arms circling around you and squeezing tightly that it lifts you up from the ground for a quick second. The faint smell of fabric conditioner on his clothes enters your nostrils and you feel like a teenager again, warmth rushing to your face while your heart hammers loudly in your chest. Regardless of how old the both of you are, you think your hopeless crush on the guy will forever live on and constantly transform you into a middle school girl whenever opportunities like these to have him near arise. You’re just happy you’ve trained yourself to be better at hiding it now compared to when you were younger.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in base or wherever it is that you’re designated?” you ask, the first to let go from the hug.

“Actually, I returned from deployment three days ago. I’m on leave for two weeks.”

“Wow. Two weeks, huh?”

“Yep. It’s the longest break I’ve gotten in a while.”

“That’s good. Everybody needs a break from time to time.”

“Says the girl has a day job and a night job.” He points out with a smirk; your heart does a little leap at how handsome he looks doing that. “When the hell did you get into teaching, by the way? I never pegged you to be the kind who can tolerate it. You hate kids.”

“You’ll find yourself tolerating lots of things in this economy.” You snort. “And my students aren’t kids. They’re in college.”

“Yeah, which you graduated from six years ago. Still technically kids.”

“Are you seriously jabbing at my age when you’re two years older than I am?”

He rolls his eyes at that one, an indication that you won the argument. “Anyway,” he starts again and you grin, “I didn’t come here to compare how old we are—”

“You didn’t?”

He sends you a look. Your grin gets even wider.

“I’m here because I was hoping to treat you to dinner.”

“Dinner?” you repeat, not masking the surprise from your voice.

Let’s get the facts straight before we proceed to this conversation.

It isn’t a lie when you say that you and Jungkook are great friends. You have been since you were 7 and your family just moved into the house next to theirs. He was a natural playmate, a companion when you couldn’t tolerate the antics of your older brother, the boy who looked out for you aside from said older brother, and the person you’ve shared significant history with throughout your youth that you can never seem to forget nor disregard.

It’s just that you never deemed that you were great enough friends for him to go out of his way and visit you at your workplace, offering to treat you for dinner. Gestures like that were reserved for your older brother, Seowon, who’s the same age as he is and who you’re sure is considered as his best friend. Compared to them, yours and Jungkook’s dynamic shifted slightly after graduating from college. What once was a really close friendship turned into a casual one, with mostly just teasing, light talks, and the occasional welfare checks at times you hear certain news from the other that’s worth speaking directly about.

At the mention of that, realization dawns on you on why he must be here.

“Jungkook…” You’re trying not to sound mad but you can’t hide the exasperation from your voice. “That’s not the real reason you’re here.”

“Of course, it is. Why else would I be here?”

“He told you, didn’t he?” you ask, not willing to drag this out. “You’re just going to give me another lecture that I definitely don’t need.”

Jungkook frowns, like he’s dismayed that you caught on pretty swiftly.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You pressed.

“He meant well, ____.”

You scowl. To remark that Seowon is unnecessarily nosy and coddling would be an understatement. That man hasn’t left you alone the second he was aware of your condition. Usually, whenever he gets into his ‘big brother tendencies’, his girlfriend Winnie steps in and helps you lay him off your back. However, it’s different this time; no matter how much you reinstill your independence and insist that you’re fine, it’s like you’re talking to a wall.

“What exactly did you hear from him?” you query.

He seems hesitant in answering that. “That you got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.”

You wince.

“Look,” he steps forward towards you, “I wasn’t going to bring it up unless you did, okay? I’m just here because I’m genuinely worried about you and I want to know how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine.” You murmur. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Worry doesn’t vanish magically just because someone says so.”

“Well, it should—because I’m fine.”

“You sure? I heard that you’re struggling to buy insulin among other things you’re having a hard time paying.”

“Fuck. Seowon told you that too? That’s private.”

“My parents know. He just filled me in because he wants you to have as much support as you can get.”

“I don’t need that. I’m an adult. I’ve lived by myself for years. I can fend for myself just fine.”

“It doesn’t look like it from what I’ve been hearing.”

“All you’re hearing is a warped and exaggerated version of the story told by Seowon who won’t listen to a word I say.” You huff. “I’m fine and I’ve been doing everything I can, alright? I’m taking care of myself. I’m going to the doctor whenever I need to. I’m making ends meet, buying treatment for this goddamn disease and regulating my sugar levels all the fucking time. Why do you think I’ve been working two jobs for the past year? It’s because I’m doing everything I can to stay alive.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply, he only remains gazing at you.

“If you’re here to offer me money or whatever because of what he said,” you add, already embarrassed that you can’t even look at him anymore, “then I don’t want it.”

“That’s not what I’m here for,” he says.

“Then are you really just here to treat me to dinner?” you question sarcastically.

He laughs and you dare return your eyes at him, catching him peering at you with a fond expression. “Yes. It’s my way of doing a welfare check.”

“Welfare check.” You echo with squinted eyes. “Well, in that case, here I am—alive and healthy.”

“I can see that, and I’m glad.” He smiles. “But I need more than just seeing you. I need a conversation and an apology.”

“An apology?”

“For being the last person to know about your condition.”

“And we’re still talking about that apparently.” You mutter under your breath. “Sorry. I didn’t think that you wanted to know.”

“Of course, I would have wanted to know. It’s you we’re talking about here.”

Something about how he said you causes your lips to twitch as you fight off a smile. This isn’t a good time to dive into your romantic feelings for your childhood crush, but when he’s letting go of lines like that which are sure to have your heart soaring out of your chest, it’s hard to keep on a cool and unfazed facade. You just convince yourself that he sees you as a little sister and that’s why he’s so worried; you should already be past your ‘delulu’ phase at this age to be affected by such statements.

“I didn’t want to add to your worries,” you reason. “You already have your life to think about. Add to the fact that you’re a naval aviator—so you literally have your own life first to think about.”

“I can make space for you.”

Is he flirting? Is this a normal thing to say between friends?

You blink. “Okay, uh, that’s… that’s completely up to you, I guess.”

“I just like knowing those things first hand. It makes me worry less.”

“Got it. Next time I learn I’m dying, I’ll tell you.”

“____,” he says your name in warning, and you know he’s serious.

“Sorry.” You heat up. “I couldn’t resist.”

“Don’t be a pain in the ass.”

“I promise that’ll be the last time I make a dark joke, Lieutenant.”

Jungkook’s nostrils flare. You prevent yourself from grinning like a fool again in success of getting on his nerves.

“Are you done here? Because I’m hungry and would really like to get going now.” He changes the subject and gestures to the faculty.

“Yeah. I’ll just get my things and then I can get out of here.”

“Great. You’re letting me take you to dinner, right?” 

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Fine.” You deadpan.

This time, he’s the one who’s beaming at you. “I’ll wait for you here and we can go.”

“Okay.”

****

When Jungkook discovered that you had type 1 diabetes through a phone call with Seowon, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, ignoring the snores of his squadmates and overthinking what’s supposed to happen to you now that you had an autoimmune disease which he was told didn’t have a cure. He was assured that you were okay despite it, that there was medication to treat it, and that you had access to them and have been very careful with your lifestyle due to the diagnosis ever since.

He still couldn’t be put to ease though. As ridiculous as it may sound, he had this overwhelming realization that life truly was short, that you had to make certain decisions all the time because you need to adjust to what the universe is only willing to give you. It was funny coming from a person who risked his life for a living. He thinks that perhaps he never understood the philosophy of the quote ‘time is gold’ until he had a loved one on the same trajectory, always one step closer to possible death.

And so that same night, he decided to file a leave for two weeks, effective immediately after his deployment. 

He wasn’t sure what his game plan was exactly in filing that two-week leave. Was he supposed to barge in your life and force you to let him take care of you? Was he supposed to demand why you ended up having diabetes? Was he supposed to act as a big brother like your actual big brother because he was that worried about you? But if Jungkook was going to be truthful, he already had an idea on what he wanted to do in the back of his head—he just didn’t want to execute it because it was absolutely insane.

Until he heard Seowon suggest it himself when they met up at a bar to share a drink together.

“She would never say yes,” Jungkook said, beyond doubt that you won’t be persuaded that easily with a plan like that.

Seowon made a face. “I know. That girl is so hyper independent���she’d rather die than accept help.” He scoffed. “She needs it though. It’ll help with her medication and she won’t have to pay rent for that shit apartment she’s living in. Plus, she'll actually get the chance to take care of her body if she’s not juggling two jobs to have sufficient income.”

“You’re right.” Jungkook shrugged.

“You’ll do it then?”

He took a sip of his beer. “Yeah. I’d do anything for ____, you know that.”

“Even as crazy as marrying her?”

“Sure.”

Seowon stared at him, narrowing his eyes and morphing his expression into a teasing one. “Are you sure you’re not just considering this because it’s a perfect excuse to marry my sister? I know you like her.”

“I don’t like her.” 

“You’re in love with her.”

“I don’t—” Jungkook began to deny but Seowon was staring him down. “Fuck you, man. Don’t make me some kind of pervert who’s trying to lock her into marriage because he likes her. You’re the one who brought the idea up.”

Seowon laughed out loud. “I know, I just can’t believe you’d agree. It’ll benefit ____, that’s for sure—you, on the other hand? It’s career suicide.”

He shrugged. “I’m okay with the thought that she’ll be okay.”

“Because you love her, man.” Seowon pushed. “Why on earth would you consider this if you weren’t? It’s a fraudulent marriage. You’ll be thrown in the brig and be dishonorably discharged if you get caught.”

“We don’t even know if she’ll agree to this whole thing. You said it yourself, she would never say yes.”

“Yeah, unless maybe you’re the one who tries to persuade her.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to buy her a ring and kneel down before her or something?”

“That can work.”

“What?” Jungkook laughed.

Seowon raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how she’s been crushing on you since we were kids.”

He barked out a laugh again. That he knew; it was impossible not to when a lot of friends and cousins kept on teasing you before, especially at instances Jungkook was in the very same vicinity. “We’re not kids anymore and I barely see her though.”

“Still, it ought to count to something. It raises the chances of her agreeing.”

“You’re really cool with me marrying your sister, Won?” Jungkook asked.

Seowon placed down the beer bottle he’s consuming on the counter. “Yeah. You’re a good guy. You’re not perfect, but I know you enough to know that you won’t do anything that will purposely hurt her. Besides, if this sham marriage ends up to be a real relationship and then for some reason, you fuck up and decide to break her heart—I’ll easily know what to do, where to find you, and then I’ll do everything I can to fuck you up.”

Jungkook pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle.

“Noted.”

****

It’s always been a big wonder to you how no matter how long it’s been since you saw each other, it still feels like no time has passed between you and Jungkook. You think that’s why you can never get over him; he always had this comforting and familiar aura that you appreciate—something that you sought for in every other person that you liked. Maybe it was impractical, maybe it was the reason you can never hold a relationship for more than two years, but unless you gain the courage to confront your feelings and tell Jungkook about it, then you constantly dispel any doubts you might have whether this was good for you or not.

You don’t want to lose him. Admitting that you harbored romantic feelings for him would just make it awkward for everyone: your brother, your family, and then his family. You don’t think you can ever trade his smile, the sound of his laughter, and all the good things about him for anything in the world. 

“Are you dating anyone?” he asks.

You choke on your drink, having just poured yourself and Jungkook a glass of water after the server arrived with the pitcher. You’re in a Japanese restaurant near the university, aware that the cuisine was a favorite for the both of you hence why it’s what you recommended when he asked where you wanted to dine. The place is packed with people from the workforce and students; you’re thankful that you don’t see any of your students within the mix.

“We’re getting straight to it, huh?” you say.

Jungkook smirks. “I’m just making sure I’m not upsetting a boyfriend by meeting you tonight.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not upsetting anyone.”

He nods in understanding. You don’t want to add more meaning to his actions for the evening but he seems glad about the information.

“How about you?” you ask back. “Are you dating anyone?”

The ends of his mouth lift a bit upwards. “Nope.”

“Why? You don’t have the time for it?”

“Precisely.”

“It must be really hard dating when you’re in the Navy then.”

“Kinda. We’re away a lot and stationed in different places most of the time. It can get really dangerous for us too and people don’t like the stress that comes with that.”

 You bob. “Does it get lonely?”

“Sometimes, but when you’re on duty, you don’t get to think about those things.” He chuckles. “Besides, I don’t know if this sounds fucked up or not—but it can get exciting. Flying a plane can be fun, you know. Not to mention that it helps when you’re surrounded by good men in your squadron.”

“You’ve always been an adrenaline junkie.”

“And you’ve always been a scaredy-cat.”

You scoff at the declaration. “No, I’m not.”

“Remember when Seowon and I forced you to ride that ship in the amusement park that sways left to right and as it goes on it falls from a higher standpoint?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

But you do, and Jungkook knows you do, it’s evident by how your expression is trying to feign innocence. That memory is your villain origin story; the whole pretext of why you refuse to ever visit the amusement park or ride an exhilarating ride again. Yet you can’t help but recall that it’s one of the rare instances wherein you got to hold Jungkook’s hand when you two were younger, as his hand was the one you were clinging for dear life when it happened while the other was too busy slapping Seowon in irritation.

He snickers, appearing like he’s replaying the scene in his head. “We should do that again with Seowon during my break.”

“Hell no.”

“I thought you weren’t a scaredy-cat?” He challenges.

“I’m not.” You give him a kittenish glare. “But I am busy. I have to send the final manuscript of this book I’m editing to the chief editor next week and it’s about to be finals week for my students as well.”

He fakes a shiver. “I don’t know how you can do two jobs like that, ____. Truly.”

“You work as a naval aviator so I’d say we’re pretty even.”

The waiter arrives with your orders not long after, and you and Jungkook carry on with your conversation, jumping from topic to topic without difficulty. You’re not certain when was the last time you saw each other like this to have so much to talk about—was it last Christmas? Or was it more recent or longer than that? Nevertheless, it feels good and you find yourself blushing multiple times throughout the night, whether it’s because of how his words can have two meanings or how his eyes are staring at you so intensely whenever you’re the one who’s talking.

You like the undivided attention, the back and forth that’s occurring as you discourse, the subtle touches one of you does when something funny arises, how your knees are touching underneath the table. You wonder what’s so different with this encounter that the energy feels so bizarre in a good way? As far as you’re concerned, you’re positive that you’re acting like you always have in his presence—lively, smiley, sarcastic—and aside from the little touches of flirting here and there, Jungkook’s acting like he always has too.

When dinner was done, Jungkook offered to drive you home. You obliged, no longer in the mood to annoy him for you were tired to make the effort. Before stepping outside the restaurant however, you excused yourself to the restroom first, checking your blood sugar with the glucose meter you brought along wherever you went. It’s a hassle but it’s necessary, largely because you’re still in the middle of saving up for the insulin pump that would help you regulate your sugar levels easier.

After administering yourself with the insulin injection you have, you spend a few more seconds inside the enclosed room. You should be past the point of feeling sorry for yourself, but it’s times like this wherein you’re with a loved one that the dejection hits and you wish that you’re in a better predicament than you are right now. You’re close to being broke, you’re overworked, you’re somehow fatigued all the fucking time—those factors aren’t soothing your worries at all. It’s a miracle how you manage to keep an optimistic mind amidst everything.

“Ready to go?” Jungkook smiles at you once you’re back at the table and you nod, clutching your bag tighter against your body and following him to his car.

He drives you to your place, turning the radio on, and letting it play while the both of you sit in silence. You’re both tired and you almost even sleep during the ride. It’s only when Jungkook gently shakes you awake that you realize that you’ve arrived in front of your apartment building.

“I’ll walk you up,” he insists as you’re unbuckling the seatbelt. 

“That’s no need, Kook.”

“Of course, it is,” he says. “I’ll walk you up. That’s nonnegotiable.”

So, you allow him.

It takes five minutes tops to reach the door leading to your apartment. As you rummage through your bag to grab your keys, Jungkook patiently stands there, occasionally glancing around the hallway and even smiling when the old lady that resided in the same floor got out of her room to throw out the trash. He receives a smile in return which you notice and grin fondly at.

“Well, this is me.” You turn to him, done unlocking your door. “I’d invite you inside but you should probably get going. It’s quite a long drive back home.”

“Yeah.” He breathes out a chuckle. “Hey, tonight was fun. It made me realize how I missed you.”

Your brain temporarily malfunctions; you force yourself to recover quickly. “Me too. I had fun tonight. Maybe we should do this again whenever you’re on a break.”

“Agreed.”

You flash him a smile. “You can go now. Goodnight.”

Jungkook nods, however doesn’t move a muscle. He’s looking at you, like really looking at you, his eyes moving from one feature to another, as if he’s memorizing your face or having a hard time arranging the words he wants to say. You guess it’s the latter, familiar with a tongue-tied Jungkook that it takes you a few good seconds before you’re demanding why he’s impersonating a mannequin.

“There’s something I want to say,” that’s what he utters and you almost snort due to your assumption being right.

“Okay…” The smile is still on your lips. “What is it?”

“Promise me you won’t get mad first.”

“Well, if you’re making me promise that then it’s probably worth being mad about.”

“It’s not as bad as you think.”

“That’s not convincing at all.”

“It’s just…” He begins and trails, biting his lower lip, “it’s… it’s why I went here. Why I went here to see and meet you, I mean.”

You unconsciously recoil at the revelation. It’s certainly a rookie mistake to believe that there was no ulterior motive in Jungkook meeting you today. You just didn’t reckon you’d actually be truly disappointed at that—at the idea that he just didn’t randomly decide to visit and be with you earlier until now.

You draw a long breath. “Well, I knew you weren’t just feeling generous and wanted to treat me to dinner out of nowhere.”

There’s a pause and then he resumes. “Just—before I say it, you have to hear me out, okay? You have to let me explain before you berate me.”

“I can’t promise that either.”

“You have to.”

“Why do I have to?”

“Because what I’m about to say is for your own sake. You know I always have your best interest at heart, don’t you?”

You wrinkle your forehead in further confusion. “Can you just get on with it? The vagueness is making me more annoyed.”

“I just don’t want you to misunderstand.”

“Misunderstand what?”

“What I—and Seowon—genuinely think is the best option.”

“Oh, and Seowon is in on this too?” You bellow. “Have you and Seowon just been conspiring behind my back the whole time?”

“Calm down.” Jungkook puts his hands on your shoulders, a chuckle inevitably escaping him. “I’m sorry for dragging it out. You should know I’m high key afraid of you, that’s why.”

“You should be.” You grumble.

Another chuckle, but he’s back to appearing anxious. You want to shout that this isn’t healthy, that you’re close to giving him a real reason to be afraid of you—yet once he blurts the confession out, you’re speechless, gawking at him and staggering backwards in complete shock. Perhaps you would have bolted as far away from him as possible if not for his solid grasp.

“What?” You hiss.

He swallows hard.

“I want you to marry me, ____.”

You don’t bolt away running. You shake off his hold on you though, and before he gets another word in, you’re hastily rushing inside your apartment and slamming the door to his face.

****

Jungkook was your first kiss.

It happened in a game of truth and dare. You were at a party of a mutual friend and when the bottle miserably pointed in Jungkook’s direction, the person who was tasked to think of his dare when it was his pick said that he dared him to do 7 minutes in heaven with you. 

He profusely refused at first, especially since Seowon was in the same party, but everybody began booing and next thing you know, Jungkook was agreeing as long as it was fine with you. When you nodded to make your consent apparent, your friends were quick to shove you both in the closet, some of them pulling Seowon back who was complaining how it wasn’t right to bully you into doing 7 minutes in heaven with Jungkook. They calmed him down once they bullied him into agreeing too.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Jungkook told you in the darkness, his breath fawning over your face. “You don’t have to feel pressured. It’s just a stupid game.”

You blushed.

Secretly, you were hoping that he’d kiss you or touch you. Who didn’t want to do anything with their crush at the age of 15? A lot can happen in 7 minutes. You were aware that sometimes people made out, went as far as third base, and although you didn’t want to go that far with Jungkook, you wanted something to happen while you were stuck in this small closet with him. There weren’t a lot of instances that put both of you in this kind of situation; you wished that you were brave enough to ask him to kiss you or do the first move yourself.

5 minutes in, Jungkook turned towards you.

“Is it true that Taehyung kissed you last week?”

You whipped your head so fast that you might have given yourself whiplash. “That’s—that’s not true. Where did you hear that?”

“During homeroom. Some girls were talking about it.”

Your cheeks burned. “Oh.”

“So, it’s not true?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet.” You laughed weakly.

It was his turn to seem stunned. “You haven’t had your first kiss yet?”

You shook your head again, then realized he might not see you doing so. “Not yet.”

“Want me to change that?” he asked, grinning.

He said that with a boyish grin and teasing tone, but you sucked at social cues (plus, you really couldn’t see shit that much) that you started nodding.

“Okay,” you told him.

“Huh?”

“You can kiss me.”

“Oh, oh, shit—I didn’t—” He was blabbering, about to take back what he offered. “I mean, I was just joking but—”

You widen your eyes. “You were? Oh my God, I’m sorry, I thought you were—”

“No, it was my fault. That was a little out of line for me. I’m sorry.” He was laughing and you felt like burying yourself 6 feet under. “It was a stupid thing to say. But if you want me to kiss you, it’s cool.”

“It is?” Hope sparked within you.

“Yeah. It’ll just be a peck anyway.” You can tell he was smiling through his voice. “Just don’t tell Seowon because he might punch me in the face for kissing his sister.”

You cackled. “Deal.”

56 seconds before the 7 minutes were up, Jungkook leaned down to match your level and placed his lips on yours. 

****

You’re seething with rage, the embodiment of Godzilla, channeling the God of War, Ares, in your body; you harshly press Seowon’s number on your phone to call him and he answers after three rings.

“What’s up?”

“I will fucking murder you,” you snarl.

A beat. You hear shuffling. Then he answers, “you already talked with Jungkook?”

The nonchalance and calmness in his voice drives you to be more frustrated than you already are. “Yes, I have! What is wrong with you? Why would you plant that idea on his head?” You yell, not caring that your walls are thin and that your voice can probably be heard by the couple that lived next door. You’re feeling a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and every negative emotion that exists at the moment. You’re comparable to a bull who just saw the color red.

“____, it won’t be a big deal if you don’t make it to be.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Did you even let Jungkook explain?”

“I don’t need him to spell everything out. I know why he’s asking me to marry him.”

“Then you know too that it’d be good for you.”

“Marrying him won’t be good for me.”

“Why not?”

“It just won’t!”

“You’ll get health insurance benefits that you don’t get with your current jobs. You can pay less rent once you move in at Jungkook’s place—there’s a huge chance he won’t even let you pay him while you stay there too. He’s away most of the time anyway, so staying there wouldn’t be a problem. Plus, you can start studying for a masters degree like you’ve always wanted.”

You groan. “Not like this. This is crazy.”

“The both of you can divorce once you’ve saved up a little. It really isn’t that complicated.”

“It’s a sham marriage!”

“It’s a sham marriage with Jungkook.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“Are you sure? Your grade school diary might disagree.”

“Oh my God, that’s fucking low of you to bring that up. You just gave me another reason to hate you.” You stomp around the living room, acting like a teenager because of your brother’s behavior. This isn’t the first time he revealed that he’s read your diary before; that doesn’t mean it’s less infuriating to be reminded that he has. “I swear, you better fucking sleeping with one eye open tonight. I’m choking you to death.”

Seowon laughs out loud. “Just marry him. He’s surprisingly amicable with the idea.”

“That’s because you’re pressuring him! I bet you and Mom devised this entire thing together.”

“Mom doesn’t know. To be fair, she’d probably have the same reaction as you. It’s all me and Jungkook.”

“Wow. You have two brains and yet none of you thought this was goddamn stupid?”

“It’s not stupid. It’s genius if you come to think of it,” he says. “Jungkook just wants to help you, dude. He wants to make sure you’ll be okay and all that shit. You’re the reason he filed for a two-week leave, did he tell you?”

Your heart does that jumping thing again. “No.”

“Well, he did. He’s on a break for two weeks because he wants to convince you to marry him and actually marry you within that time frame.”

“This is nuts.” You sigh, finally flopping down the sofa and rubbing your face with your free hand. “The both of you are nuts. How are you okay with this?”

“It’s Jungkook. I trust him. Don’t you?”

“Of course, I do, I just—” you cut yourself off and frown, “I just feel like it’s unfair for him. I’m marrying him because of military spouse benefits and what does he get?”

There’s a long pause, and you almost check your phone to see whether Seowon has already hung up on you or not.

“It’s better that Jungkook answers that question,” he tells you finally.

“Why? You can’t answer it on behalf of him?”

“Something like that.” You can imagine him shrugging. “All I know is that he’s genuinely concerned about your health and your financial status right now. So, just think about it, okay?”

“God, fuck it, fine. I’ll think about it.” You grimace.

You hang up and glance at the door.

You don’t think the conversation you just had with Seowon took that much time. The initial rush you had upon having your longtime crush propose to you is wearing off and you’re realizing that it was a dick move to literally slam the door right in Jungkook’s face earlier, leading you to stand up from your seat and look through the peephole to check if he’s still there.

He isn’t, which you sigh in relief at.

As you lean against the door and regulate your breathing, you think how funny it is that Seowon is right about one thing—and that was grade school you would have been delighted at the thought of getting married to Jungkook. He’s your dream guy; your parents loved him, his parents loved you, the both of you got along very well, and his personality and looks are everything that you’re looking for in a partner. It sucks that you live in a world where the only reason he wants to marry you is because he’s afraid you’ll die because of self-neglect. 

Your phone pings and you unlock the screen to look at the message that flashes on it.

Jungkook: hey, seowon just messaged me to say that you two already talked Jungkook: i’m sorry for jumping on you with a topic like that… Jungkook: i’m shit at confrontation lol Jungkook: also it’s the first time i’m proposing so give me some slack

You scoff at his audacity to joke about it this soon.

You: it’s okay You: i’m sorry too for what i did You: the answer is no btw

Jungkook: already??? Jungkook: let’s talk about it first

You: no need You: i don’t want to marry you

Jungkook: oof that’s harsh

You: sorry not sorry?

He doesn’t respond and you think you’re safe. Maybe Jungkook does take no for an answer and you’re confused because you’re a little disappointed that he’s not falling on his knees, begging you to marry him like what your imagination is supplying you.

However, after you took a shower and went to check your phone again, you see that Jungkook messaged you a few minutes ago in response to your last message.

Jungkook: give me 10 days and i’ll change your mind

You have the urge to go take a shower again because of how hot your body is feeling at the statement.

You: hate to break it to you but you’re not matthew mcconaughey

Jungkook: 🤣🤣🤣

****

It’s not part of Jungkook’s branding to chase a woman. Typically, women chase him; they chase him in every city and country that he gets stationed in, flirting with him and hoping that they’ll get the chance to take him home for the night for a mindblowing one-night stand. They never succeed though, for despite their pretty faces and sultry gestures, Jungkook only smiles and declines every offer, saying that he had a girl waiting back home that he loved very much.

He used to think that he only used that as an excuse because he’s not the type to hook up with every attractive girl he meets. There are times when he succumbs, when he gives into the temptation of a little fun, especially after a life threatening or highly stressful mission—but most of the time, he thinks he declines and use that pronouncement of his because his mind reverts him to the idea of you, to what would happen if he just gained the balls to ask you out.

Evidently, although asking you out and asking you to marry him are two completely different things, he’s a bit afraid that your answer will always be a hard no. It’s what you’ve been literally spelling out to him since the day he presented the idea, regardless of how he’s trying his best in swooning you or explaining how this is the perfect plan to help you gain an upper hand with your diagnosis.

“I’ll file a restraining order against you, I’m serious,” you say to him when he appears yet again outside the faculty room, waiting for you to gather your things and head home. You’re wearing a white button up shirt and pinstripe wide leg trousers, an outfit combination that he ogles at before he goes down to business.

“You wouldn’t.” He glares at you. He gestures for you to let him take your backpack, and despite what you said, you let him. “Also, what the fuck is in this thing? You’ll break your back if you keep using this.” He swings your backpack on one shoulder.

You laugh. “My laptop, its charger, a couple of notebooks, books, pens, then the outputs of my students.”

“Aren’t they supposed to submit virtually? What happened to Google Classroom?”

“I still use it, but sometimes I like to have their work printed out so I can write the comments better. How do you know Google Classroom?”

“I have a squadronmate whose kid uses it for class.”

“Ah.” You nod in understanding.

You two continue walking forward.

This has been your program for the past few days. Jungkook goes to the university you work at, he’ll wait outside, you’ll threaten him with something ridiculous, he’ll take your bag, he’ll offer to take you to dinner, you’ll decline, and then he’ll drive you home anyways. Before that routine ends, he’ll lean on your door frame and give you his best puppy eyes, asking you to marry him for the sake of your welfare, and you’ll scowl at him, insisting that you don’t need his help to survive.

“Dinner?” he asks, right on schedule.

You glance at him. “No. I want to go home and sleep for 12 hours.”

“Busy day?”

“Yep.”

“You know, if you marry me, you won’t have to work two jobs and overexert yourself.”

He doesn’t need to turn to you to know that you’re giving him a dirty look. “I won’t marry you, Jungkook.”

“Why not?”

“Because marriage doesn’t work that way.”

“It does. Billionaires do it all the time. The mafia does it too. It’s always been some kind of transaction.”

“Well, if I marry you, what do you get?”

“The assurance you’re taken care of.”

“That’s cheesy.”

You share a laugh and he grins.

“It’s true,” he says. “I’ll be fine as long as you are.”

He waits for you to quip back a reply, flickering his eyes to you when it takes longer than usual. Instead of the sneer he’s expecting, you appear to be flustered, an expression that is very recognizable for him who’s known you since forever—an expression that makes it too obvious for Jungkook that the crush you had on him that he thought has been long gone was still there. He’s been seeing it a lot lately, particularly when he’s uttering lines that sound flirtatious on purpose; he’s positive that you’ll threaten to kill him when you discover that he basks on the fact that he can still make you all flustered and cute, which encourages him to do and say anything that would elicit a reaction from you. Was it unethical to seduce you into marrying him? He might have to rethink that part too.

Reaching the parking lot, he unlocks the doors to his vehicle and places your bag inside the backseat. He watches you walk around the car, about to go to the passenger’s side, but then you wobble a bit and his attempt to get inside is instantly forgotten.

“Hey,” he strides to where you are, gazing at you as you now hold onto the hood, “you alright?”

You raise your chin up. “Kook, can you get my bag?”

Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s swinging the door again and getting your bag from the other end of the backseat while you get on the passenger’s seat, keeping the door wide and placing your legs outside, your feet planted on the concrete.

“What do you need?” he asks, crouching in front of you and zipping the bag open.

“Glucometer.”

He halts. “What does that look like?”

“It’s in the yellow bag. There.” You point at it right when he rummages through a certain part.

He brings it out and you take it from his grasp. Your movements are sluggish but he can discern that you’re doing your best not to be too slow; he’d present to help but he knows that he might prolong what you’re doing due to his cluelessness, so he just observes, noting how you’re pricking your finger with a device and then pressing it lightly to the glucometer which shows that your blood sugar is low.

“Apple juice,” you mutter to him and he finds it faster than the last one.

You grab the juice pouch from his grasp, prying the straw attached on the back, pushing its end for it to pop out of its plastic cover—then your hand shakes, preventing you from continuing and punching in the straw properly.

“Let me do it,” he says.

You don’t fight him, you just slump against the seat as Jungkook picks up from where you left, and the moment he does the job and guides the straw to your awaiting lips, a long exhale through your nose escapes you.

“How are you feeling?” he whispers. He didn’t notice that he was holding his breath the entire duration of the scene.

Another sigh. “Better.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

You seem to hesitate. “Not a lot. Just when life gets a bit too hectic.”

“____—”

“Just take me home.” You don’t give him the chance to lecture you. “Please, Jungkook.”

Defeated, he nods. “Alright.”

“Thank you.”

He helps you position yourself properly on the passenger’s seat. “But we’re talking about this at your place.”

Before you can protest, he closes the door.

****

Lee Hyunwoo was the name of the guy that you brought home for Christmas Eve eight years ago. It was the first time that you did, and Jungkook hated how Hyunwoo was considerably handsome, intelligent, and kind—the exact kind of person he always imagined you deserved.

In the short time Hyunwoo spent with theirs and your family that night, everybody loved him and was already inviting him to the next gathering, all the while Jungkook avoided him at every cost, puzzled by this strong dislike he was feeling for your guest. He was annoyed at the manner in which Hyunwoo had an arm around your waist the entire evening, how you grinned up to him, eyes sparkling and all that shit. Hell, you used to look at him like that.

“Honey, can you get the mango float we have in our freezer?” Jungkook heard your mother tell you, and without thinking, he stood up from his chair and made a beeline to where you were, telling you he’d accompany you to your house.

“That’s fine,” you told him. “It’s literally next door.”

“Yeah, but it might be heavy.”

“It’s not.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and agreed then, excusing yourself from Hyunwoo who was in an engaged conversation with Seowon. The pair were geeking out because of their mutual love for the MCU and the next film slated to be released the following year.

Upon arriving at your home, you dashed to the kitchen with Jungkook trudging behind you. He wasn’t sure what his next course of action should be now; all he wanted was some alone time with you, away from the presence of that college boyfriend of yours, but now that he had that, he couldn’t think of anything that he wanted to say or do. He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling a bit jealous—was it because of that saying? Wherein people are bound to want what they can’t have? Or was it that you only appreciate what you had when you’ve already lost it?

“How long have you and Hyunwoo been dating?” he asked, leaning against the counter as you pulled your freezer open.

“Four months, I think.”

“Four months? And you already brought him home?”

You snorted at his tone. “His family is in another country so I thought it’d be nice to invite him.”

“You must really like him then.”

“Yeah, but I’m not in love with him or anything.” You placed the mango float on the space beside Jungkook on the counter. “He’s nice, and he likes me too.”

“Does he treat you well?”

You flashed your eyes at him, amusement dancing in them. “What’s with that question?”

“What’s with it?”

“Nothing, it’s just that…” you trailed, a smirk etched on your face. “Wait a minute, are you… you can’t possibly—” Jungkook was widening his eyes, ready to deny your accusation once you questioned whether he was jealous of Hyunwoo or not— “are you pulling an overprotective brother skit on me, Kook?”

Fuck, thank God, he thought.

“I prefer ‘overprotective friend skit’,” he said.

“That doesn’t have a nice ring to it.”

“But I’m not your brother.”

“You don’t have to be, I’m just saying that you and Seowon have been acting similar since Hyunwoo and I arrived.”

“Nonsense. Seowon likes him.”

“Oh, so you don’t?”

He pressed his lips into a tight line.

“Did you just admit that you don’t like Hyunwoo?” you asked, chuckling. He was grateful that you didn’t seem to be offended by it.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like him.”

“Instead you implied it.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You kinda did.”

He heard you laugh and he couldn’t help but allow himself to laugh as well.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Maybe I’m just not used to you dating anyone. You are chronically single.”

“Can’t say you’re wrong.” You snorted and picked up from the mango float, marching back to his house and gesturing for him to follow you.

He did, no words spoken between the both of you once more. Though when you were entering their place again, with Jungkook holding the door open for you, he mentioned something he never reckoned he’d have the guts to mention out loud.

“When you open my gift,” he began, “don’t do it in front of Hyunwoo, okay?”

“Why not?” You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, intrigued by his warning.

“He might not like it. You’ll see.”

That night, at the comfort of your bedroom, Hyunwoo nowhere near but instead sleeping at the coach downstairs in your living room, you opened Jungkook’s gift and saw that it was a necklace with your birth flower as its pendant.

You smiled, rolling your eyes to yourself, and slept with that giddy look never leaving your face.

****

“Not so fast,” Jungkook grunts.

Did he think that you were going to be less difficult since he was helpful earlier? Yeah, he did. He likes to think that if it wasn’t for him, you would have taken longer in feeding yourself with apple juice, so he at least wanted a thank you in the form of your willingness to have an adult conversation with him tonight. However, that clearly isn’t the case because when he walked you up to your apartment like he always did, you’re attempting to lock him out, shutting the door as fast as you can once you’re inside, thus trying to prevent him from initiating that talk he wanted the two of you to have.

“Seriously?” He successfully pries the door open and you scowl at him.

“Jungkook—”

“No, you don’t get to reason your way out of this. I’m done hearing you out. It’s your turn to listen to me.” He steps inside your apartment.

You groan, striding to the sofa and throwing your bag there. “You can’t force me to marry you.”

“Is marrying me so fucking bad that you can’t get over it for health insurance benefits that can really help you?” He demands, infuriated. 

“That’s not the issue.”

“Then what is?”

“You can get arrested!” you exclaim. “And so can I! Does that not freak you out?”

“We’ll only get arrested if we get caught.”

“I’m not willing to take the risk.”

“I’m not willing to see you die.”

You scoff out a laugh. “Who the fuck said anything about dying? I’m not dying.”

“You almost passed out on me. You almost—”

“It’s an error on my part, I admit.” You sigh. “When I get busy and preoccupied, sometimes I forget to check my sugar levels regularly throughout the day. I’m sorry.”

“And you expect to be convinced that you have everything handled?”

“God, I’m not a child. Stop treating me like I can’t do shit for myself.”

“Please, ___,” he approaches you with the most pleading expression he can muster, and he watches as your hard expression crumbles, “just accept my help. It’s really not a big deal—you won’t even see me often, so keeping up with the whole marriage ploy wouldn’t be difficult. We’ll divorce in two years, we can pretend we never got married after that.”

“You just don’t get it, don’t you?”

“What do I not get? If you think I don’t understand something, then explain it to me—”

“I can’t marry you,” you say. You do so like it’s final, like there’s no point in arguing with you because he can never change your stand on this. As he’s pleading with his eyes to urge you to agree, you’re communicating with your eyes in a similar way that’s wishing he would just drop this. “It’s wrong.”

His eyebrows furrow. “This isn’t the time to go on your high horse and decide what’s wrong and what’s not. It’s a fraudulent marriage—of course, it’ll be wrong to some degree.”

“No, I mean…” You turn away from him, rubbing your face in exhaustion. “It’d be wrong of me to marry you. I’m taking advantage of you if I do, and I don’t like that.”

Jungkook shakes his head, frustration worsening at the childlike excuse. Surely, you weren’t that naive, were you? “You’re not. I’m not doing this against my own will. Besides, we get extra pay just for being married. If it makes you feel better, I won’t split it with you.”

“That won’t make me feel better.”

“Then what will?”

You flop down on the coach and lean back, closing your eyes. He knows he’s being a pain in the ass but he can’t just stand here and do nothing. He thinks he’s already come too far in convincing you, he isn’t going to back out now. Every single day spent together, he can feel you warming up to the idea of marrying him for health insurance. Your connection and entirety of your relationship has been off the charts recently that it’ll be harder for him not to be assured that before he leaves for his job, you’ll be taken care off.

Jungkook goes to the spot beside you, sitting down. Your knees bump together, he keeps on gazing at you, waiting for you to focus on him; a minute passes and his gaze moves to your hand that’s laying on the small space between you.

Without overthinking, he stretches out and clasps it, allowing his fingers to play with yours that finally captures your attention. The moment he glances up, he sees that you’re staring at him and he doesn’t let go, he even smiles, a quiet promise that he’s always willing to listen to whatever you want to tell him.

You hesitantly smile back. “You know,” your eyes train back to your intertwined fingers, Jungkook reveling in the warmth of your skin, gaining more confidence in acting out his feelings, “there was a time wherein I would have said yes immediately if you asked me to marry you.”

He smirks, can’t deny how hearing that inflates his ego a bit although this route in the conversation isn’t where he expected to go. “What changed?”

“For one, I grew up.”

“Ouch.”

You laugh. Then you stay quiet for a while before speaking. “Can I confess something?”

That piques his interest. “Anything.”

“But you have to promise not to make fun of me.”

“That’s impossible.” He teases. “What is it?”

You stall, readjusting your position so that you can directly face him. Jungkook doesn’t let go of your hand, he keeps it in his grasp, his thumb rubbing along the expanse of your knuckles.

“I like you, Jungkook. I really really do,” you finally say and he blinks, startled.

It shouldn’t surprise him, considering that it’s been long established that he knew of your crush already, though he doesn’t seem to have anticipated for you to boldly admit it when all these years, it’s only been some kind of unspoken understanding that neither of you downright acknowledged.

You continue speaking. “In fact, I like you so much that maybe it developed into love at some point—I’m not sure. I’m at this stage of no longer being afraid of what I feel, I think? Most of the time, I just let it occur like it’s something so natural. Like it’s a feeling that I can never get away from? Like whatever I do, there’s no way to shake you.” You chuckle half-heartedly. “Though never in a million years would I have thought that I’d confess all of this. What for anyway? I don’t want you to be burdened with what my teenage heart couldn’t rub out.”

His mind is racing; hundred thoughts, hundred scenarios, hundred experiences he’s spent with you since the day you met. Jungkook never realized how much he needed you to say that you liked him—that maybe you even loved him—until he heard it from your very mouth that you did, causing every inhibition and doubt he had to vanish. Now, he only wants to engulf you in an embrace and shout Yes, I feel the same way! Sorry for being a fucking corward and not doing this first!

He would have done all of that in a flash if it didn’t appear that you still had something to say. Based on your rather constipated posture and the hand he’s holding that’s becoming clammy, he discerns that you’re just in the first part of what you wanted to admit.

“Actually, that’s also why I can’t let myself marry you,” you say. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know… it feels really icky somehow. I feel like I’m holding you hostage, or that I’m tricking you because of an ulterior motive, or that I’m defying the laws of the universe by having the chance to marry you. I’m not sure. I just know that I don’t want to marry you if it means I’ll only get to do so because you think you’re doing me a huge favor. I don’t want to be your charity case, Kook—I deserve to be more than that, you know? I’m not traditional or whatever but if it’s not for love, I’m not keen on getting married.” You abruptly pull away from his clutch, embarrassment washing on your features by what you stated. “Plus, two years might not be that long but what happens when you meet someone and you like her? How can you explain that you’re only married to me because I need it for my medication? It’ll just be unnecessarily messy. I don’t want to hold you back from those kinds of things. I don’t want to be a hindrance.”

That’s his cue. That’s when he knows he’s supposed to kiss you and take your breath away, to admit that he’s certain that he has loved you since that one time when he was in the Naval Academy and although the training was hard as fuck, the thought of you gave him strength and he didn’t want to see anyone as much as he wanted to see you after—that when you and Seowon visited him, that familiar urge to have you alone was all he felt the entire time, solidifying the idea that perhaps he didn’t just see you as a friend.

“You’re unbelievably dense, ___,” he murmurs, smirking at the play of events, and you glance at him, expression showing disbelief that he’s somehow treating this matter lightly.

“What?”

“Do you honestly think I go around and offer marriage to every woman out there who can benefit from being a military spouse? Do you think I’m that generous? I’m not. I wouldn’t ask anyone to marry me for the same reason if they weren’t important to me—or if I didn’t like them. I’m not that much of a saint,” he adds. “I mean, I’m taking a two-week break to convince you to marry me. I’m spending time with you every single day. I’m driving for almost an hour and a half, enduring the traffic to get from my apartment to the university you work in to do that—and you think this is because I want to be charitable?”

Silence. Your forehead wrinkles. He thinks you’re still not getting the point.

“I’m in love with you, ____,” Jungkook says.

Your breath hitches in your throat. You’re opening your mouth, then closing it, then opening it again, then pressing it into a thin line. He thinks you look cute, being taken aback like this, and he’s wishing that he’s done this sooner so that the last five days of him chasing you around like a lost puppy was spent with talking more about what’s possibly waiting for yours and his relationship next.

“Are you serious?” you ask after what seems like forever. “Or are you just saying that because you’re that desperate to have me on board with the whole fraudulent marriage thing?”

“God—” He’s inching closer to you now, laughing, watching your lips twitch at his reaction— “I’m convinced that you were born into this earth to drive me fucking crazy.”

And just like that, he no longer restrains himself from kissing you.

It takes you a few good seconds before you will yourself to move. You can’t seem to process the reality of Jungkook admitting that he was in love with you and then taking the liberty to plant his lips on yours. You’re not complaining, of course, but you are a bit overwhelmed that it literally makes you freeze, unaware of what you’re supposed to do now that your fantasies are coming into life.

However, once you feel him angle his head to the side, doing so to deepen the kiss, your reflexes kick in and you’re kissing him back, encircling your arms around his neck and leaning towards him, Jungkook sighing in what appears to be relief. He grips your hips to support you as you try to straddle him, but your movements are so clumsy that you end up sprawling against his chest instead, perched on a leg of his that provides pleasure on the spot you need him the most. He chuckles at your lack of gracefulness, gliding his lips to your cheek and down to your jaw, nipping.

“This okay?” he whispers with a palm drifting to your bottom.

You nod and Jungkook’s mouth is back on yours in an instant. He squeezes your ass, takes his time in fondling with it, cheekily slapping whenever you get brave yourself and push your tongue past his lips, before he skims his hand lower to your thigh and signals for you to mount him. Upon being properly sat on his lap, you get an immediate feel of his hard length through his jeans, prompting your imagination to run wild and induce the filthiest things he can do to you if neither of you stops.

“Holy shit,” he curses, your kisses roaming to the base of his throat where you lap and suck.

It becomes a dirty pattern for a while. The both of you will take a brief pause from making out to remove a piece of clothing or kiss every other exposed skin there is: the cheek, the jaw, the neck, the collarbones, the shoulders. Then one of you hauls the other back for another passionate kiss, hands skating everywhere on your bodies, sounds of arousal echoing inside the room; you’re starting to get lightheaded but you’re positive it’s not because of your sugar levels running low.

“I hate that it took us so long to get to this point,” he mutters.

You grin. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m the man—I should have confessed long ago.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. ‘Was afraid to lose you, I guess.” He draws his head back and admires your blissed out expression. “But then when Seowon told me you had diabetes, I panicked and thought that I might lose you either way.”

You go back to making out, Jungkook guiding your hips in grinding on his clothed length. It’s addictive—the intimate feel of him, how he’s not shy in making sure you know how much he’s craving to be as close to you as you are to him. You think you can spend the whole night just doing this and be okay with it.

“Fuck, Kook,” you groan against his mouth, a hand descending to his stomach and to his manhood, “you’re so… so fuckin’ hard.”

You’re palming him now, tracing the erection evident under his boxers.

He lets out a grunt. “Yeah, baby, I know.”

“Do you… do you want me—” You’re breathless, not able to continue whatever it is that you want to say.

He understands you just fine though. “No.” He shakes his head. “Don’t do anything.”

You’re not sure what Jungkook means by that. How are you supposed to do nothing when you want to do everything to him? You soon comprehend what he means when he guides you to lay down on the sofa, when his lips skim lower and lower, passing your breasts, giving them the attention they deserve, until he goes lower than that and discards your underwear, kissing you in between your legs.

It’s like he’s releasing all the pent up emotions he’s been keeping all these years. His tongue and fingers are relentless, his voice is telling you that he’s eager to coax an orgasm out of you, and as he lifts himself up to return to his previous position, face hovering yours, you’re positive that he’ll get everything he wants because without a doubt you’ll give him everything he wants from you too. Hell, if he uses this opportunity to ask you to marry him again, you might answer yes straight away, no longer bearing in mind the worries you expressed to him earlier.

Although did that even matter anymore? Jungkook said he loved you. He said you drove him crazy. You never thought you’d come to see the day he’d utter those words but here you are. The man of your dreams is kissing you, pleasing you, and looking damn enthusiastic as he does all of that.

“Last chance to stop me,” Jungkook teases. His eyes are glassy and you can feel his cock nudging on your thigh.

You giggle, bringing his head closer to press another long kiss on those pink and plump lips of his. “Please never stop.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“I’m going to take you up on that.”

“Please do.”

After this night, you’re certain that you’ll never allow yourself to be with another man aside from Jungkook. At the back of your head, you always thought that you were his, regardless if that wasn’t true or that there was no real relationship to prove that—however, at this moment, as he thrusts in and out languidly, you unquestionably know that you are. You belong to him now and he belongs to you; he lets you know through his love-filled gaze, his passionate kisses, and the manner wherein he moans your name.

“I love you,” he says, like he’s still in deep longing for your touch and affection.

You hum, tangling your fingers through the strands of his hair. “I love you, Kook.” You stare at his eyes. “I can’t remember a time I didn’t.”

A boyish grin erupts on his features.

Time passes by quickly. In a few more of his kisses, of the intoxicating slam of his hips, of his seductive whimpers, you’re coming beneath him, Jungkook pulling out and jerking his length until he too comes, his seed landing on the base of your tummy. You have the nerve to giggle at that, grinning at him with low-lidded eyes, and Jungkook hastily wipes his cum off your skin, attacking you with another passionate kiss that leaves you breathless.

“There’s no way you’re not marrying me after this,” he murmurs.

You teasingly graze your teeth on his bottom lip. “I’ll think about it.”

He groans. “Don’t think about it. Just say yes.”

“At least let me sleep on it, Kook.”

“Fuck—fine.” He grabs your sides and pulls you flush against his body. “Guess I’ll have to keep on convincing you until you agree.”

****

“God, why is this so difficult?” Jungkook whines, keeping you in his embrace, head tucked between your cheek and shoulder.

The air is very humid and Jungkook’s in his naval aviator uniform, which doesn’t look cool in a sense that air is properly flowing through the material. He doesn’t care though, doesn’t care that it’s sticking to his skin as he refuses to let you go, not even when you complain playfully.

“Kook, I’m fucking sweaty.”

“I don’t care.”

You laugh. 

He’s leaving to return to his duty and you’re here with him outside the base before he enters, being with him until the last possible minute because that’s how much of a good wife you are.

Yes, you and Jungkook did get married. Three days ago in fact, at the city hall’s courtroom. Neither of you invited your parents; they didn’t know about the occasion and you refused to tell them, afraid that they may be critical about yours and his choices when they discover the true reason why you’re rushing to be wed. The only people that remained to be aware of it was Seowon and his girlfriend, Winnie, who served as the witnesses, which was fine by you. In your understanding, this was just for the papers and your health, and not the real deal yet to be celebrated lavishly.

“I’ll propose to you again after a couple of years,” Jungkook promised after the ceremony. “Let’s renew our vows and I’ll give you an amazing wedding.”

You would have told him that there was no need, but who were you kidding? You did want a proper wedding with Jungkook. The previous week didn’t even feel like you were newlyweds. Yes, the both of you compacted all of the dates you could have if one of you weren’t such a chicken in five days, and yes, though the honeymoon stage was experienced and practiced—it was only because you were a new couple who after years of hiding their feelings for one another, was now finally free to express it as much as they desired.

“Call me everyday?” you ask when he finally pulls back, Jungkook pecking your lips one more time.

“Definitely.” He smiles. “Visit me whenever possible?”

“Of course.” You kiss him too.

His smile transforms into a grin. “Take care of yourself, alright? Keep me updated all the time. No sugarcoating allowed.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

Rolling his eyes, he gives you another kiss and engulfs you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground that causes you to giggle.

“Okay, pack it up, love birds!” Seowon shouts.

The two of you turn to your brother who’s leaning on his car, the vehicle that was used to transport the three of you today. You’re still in the middle of moving your belongings at Jungkook’s place and Seowon was kind enough to volunteer helping, always dubious that you could do stuff on your own. Despite your reluctance, you let him assist you, mostly because you’re trying to make a conscious effort in not upsetting him again.

Let’s just say that when the judge hailed you husband and wife at the civil wedding, Seowon wasn’t thrilled to see that the kiss shared between you and Jungkook wasn’t as fake as the supposed sham marriage, leading him to the conclusion that in the middle of Jungkook’s ruse of convincing you to be his wife, something must have happened that led to your approval and that rather 18+ rated kiss. Mostly though, he’s just offended that neither of you thought of telling him that you were an official couple before the wedding.

Jungkook unwillingly places you down.

“I think I need to go,” you say.

He nods with a sigh. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

“Call you tomorrow?”

“Yes.” You affectionately caress his cheek, bringing his face down for the very very very last kiss. 

He leans into it. “Fuck, I don’t want to leave.”

“Seriously—hurry up!” Seowon shouts and you pull back.

“I will kill him,” you tell Jungkook.

“He’s your brother,” he says. “And now, my brother-in-law, so I can’t let you do that.”

“That might be your very first red flag, Jungkook, insinuating that you’re choosing my brother over me.” You cross your arms. “Tell me, if the both of us were drowning, would you save me or Seowon?”

“You,” he answers without missing a beat.

You narrow your eyes. “Is that the truth?”

“Of course. Seowon would probably undrown himself anyway and you’re shit at swimming. It’s an easy choice.”

You punch him hard on the shoulder and he feigns hurt, snickering. “For the record, I don’t think anyone can ‘undrown’ themselves—but fine, you pass the test.”

Jungkook faces Seowon’s direction and does a final salute, your brother returning it swiftly, and just like that, you and him share your last farewells. You watch as he goes through the entrance of the base and sends you a wave of goodbye; you weakly copy the gesture and stand there for a few seconds, just watching him fade from your view the further he trudges inside. You don’t think saying goodbye to him ever felt this heavy, and you blame it on the fact that after all this is the first time you’re saying goodbye to him with the assurance that he loves you too—and that alone weighs millions.

You spin on your heel and go to Seowon who’s already in the driver’s seat. As soon as you get in and wear your seat belt, he’s giving you a dirty look.

“What?” you ask.

“Please never do that in front of me again.”

His statement makes you smirk. “Why? Didn’t you want this?”

“Want what?”

“Me and Jungkook to be together.”

“When on earth did I say that?”

“You previously admitted that you were lowkey playing cupid by suggesting that Jungkook marry me for health insurance.”

A short pause. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to watch you two reenact a porno every fucking time.”

“We’re not—”

“You are. Don’t deny it.” He grumbles. “God, every time I see you two, it’s like I’m Ross from that one Friends episode where he accidentally sees Monica and Chandler doing it from the window of his apartment.”

“Yeah, I remember that.” You laugh. “In my defense, you haven’t seen me and Jungkook actually do the deed so—”

“Wait, so the two of you have?”

Your expression drops. His tone is approaching older brother protectiveness territory and you’re quick to attempt diffusing the situation. “I will not dive into that. All I’m going to say is that I’m a grown adult and so is Jungkook.”

He grimaces before starting the engine. “Yeah, never dive into that. I don’t need to hear the details.”

You share a laugh and then silence fills the car.

You press your lips together, looking at him while he backs out from the parking spot. “Hey, thanks, by the way. For driving today, and for offering to help me later, and maybe for also never minding your own business.”

You recall how Seowon was the one who couldn’t stop worrying about you and finding a solution when you told your family that you had type 1 diabetes. Your parents were concerned, they pestered you for months to force you to accept financial assistance from them, but they gave up soon after. Seowon though? He never did. He persisted through every outburst you had; he tolerated your bitchiness and your dirty looks all the time. Out of everyone in your life, you always felt like regardless of how stubborn and prideful you could be, Seowon was worse—in the best way possible.

A crooked smile illuminates his face. “You’re my kid sister. It’s my job to never let you experience peace in your whole life.”

You scoff. “Well, you’re damn great at what you do.”

When you reach Jungkook’s apartment, unloading the boxes and arranging your stuff to its designated places, your heart swells in happiness as the reality sinks in that your life is heading in the right direction after months of feeling hopeless. It drives you to be more thankful to the little things, to the people who were always by your side, to your previous circumstance that although wasn’t ideal was still manageable. A lot don’t get to have that kind of privilege and you promise yourself that you’ll make an effort to find more things to be grateful about from this day forward.

“Oh, I forgot to mention,” Seowon approaches in the middle of you arranging your books on Jungkook’s near to empty shelf, “Winnie wanted to give you this. She would have handed it over herself but she’s going to be busy for the next few days.”

You take the frame from his hand and see that it’s the picture Winnie took of you and Jungkook after the ceremony. It’s in the restaurant that you ate at to celebrate the civil wedding. Jungkook was grinning at you with an arm around on the backrest of your chair, you were leaning towards him, smiling at the camera—and the absolute selling point of why this was the best picture ever taken was because of how cake icing was scattered on your faces, places on spots in an artistic manner like it was planted there on purpose for the picture and not because the both of you were being silly that instance.

You think it showcases your relationship with Jungkook marvelously. It’s playful, it’s sweet, and most of all, it demonstrates how you two are clearly great friends.

“This is so beautiful, Seowon,” you say.

You immediately send Winnie a heartfelt thank you message for the gift and continue to take a photo of the frame, sending it to Jungkook as well.

Once you hit send, you type out a message to accompany it.

You: look how cute we look 🥹

You’re certain it’ll take hours before he replies so you keep your phone again, going back to staring at the picture which is now placed on one of the shelves. It’s the sole picture frame you have with Jungkook. In fact, it’s the only picture that Jungkook has in his apartment, and you like to think that this might be the mark of the new beginning you’ll have with him. Even though your relationship wouldn’t be traditionally explored given his occupation and how he’s most likely going to be away a lot, you don’t mind.

If there’s one thing you really believe in, it’s that waiting for Jungkook—whether consciously or unconsciously—always brings out the best outcomes.

gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and you’ll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter ♡

[enchantedlov3r]

~Wild enemies turned lovers~ A Jacaerys Velaryon love story Cowboy AU

Chapter 1

Summary: you and Jace were enemies, no one could get you guys to get along. so when you guys are forced to work together on your mother's farm for a summer, burning hatred turns into passionate love...

Pairing: cowboy!Jacaerys x cowgirl!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: lots of sadness and angst, Jace being a tiny asshole, aemond being a good friend, daemon being the reader's fav as he should, and lots of cussing yayy! smut in future chapters, fluff at the end kind of, mentions of death, arguing, let me know if I missed anything! enjoyyyy!

A/N: heyyyy... how y'all doin'.... so look I know I have other stuff to work on but I just couldn't resist y'all know me! so this is dedicated to a lovely girl @coral021 so I hope you like it and it suits your liking, this will be a series btw!

You felt as though you and Jace were supposed to be enemies since the womb.

Jace was always so stuck up and such a know it all while you were more reserved and chose to hide in the shadows.

yes you were outgoing and loved riding your horse around the farm, but you also didn't like a lot of human interaction with others you didn't know.

you were reserved and introverted that way. you liked to tend to the farm animals and do chores, stuff normal people wouldn't exactly enjoy doing.

but when you put those headphones on, you were in a whole other world. a world that Jace always loved to mess up when he and his family came to visit.

It was currently 2:55pm when Jace and his family arrived. It was Daemon, your favorite. Aemond and Aegon, Lucerys, Joffery, and Rhaenyra.

you spotted them from the barn as you were feeding the pigs. you finished tidying up in the barn when your twin sister comes running towards you.

your sister was your best friend, she was the only one who you felt actually understood you.

"There here!" she says with a giddy smile. "yea I caught that, you seem a wee bit too excited, I wonder why." you say your southern drawl coming in strong.

"oh stop it! you know he doesn't like me back, it's just a tiny crush anyway. to be honest I think he takes a liking to you." she says as you both walk hand in hand.

she had the biggest crush on aemond. he showed signs that he didn't like her back but to be honest your sister could never truly stay hooked on one man.

when you guys were 12 she had a crush on jace but when you guys were 15 she obtained a crush on aegon.

"you know how you get around him, I just don't want him hurting your feelings, you know how mean they are, and besides your too sweet for him anyway. and I highly doubt he wants me," you say smiling at her as you rub your nose with hers.

she was the joy and happiness that you don't have. you weren't exactly depressed but you weren't exactly happy either, being the oldest by 5 minutes meant more pressure on you then her.

but she was still able to put a smile on your face as always. you havent been the best, especially since dad died. it's been rough on everyone but daisy doesn't show it as much. tyring to stay happy for everyone.

(gonna name her daisy btw you can use it if not thats ok too)

you eventually just shut everyone out except her. your older brother, your mom, your friends, even other family members.

"you think mom's gonna tell em? that dad's dead?" daisy asks you. you sigh and look at your house up ahead.

"maybe, they are like family and daemon really did like our dad so maybe?" you say honestly. you weren't sure.

your mom hasn't left the house in months. he recently died and you guys had the funeral a few months ago.

she hasn't moved from the house and you and daisy were constantly trying to coax her to help out.

so instead of getting up to help she calls the Targaryen family over to help for the entire summer.

now to anyone that sounds amazing. to you, it was a nightmare because of the sleep schedule, the trouble you'd have to endure, and the endless amounts of teasing and annoyance from Jace.

"I like your outfit btw but you might wanna change, and shower. you smell like mud and pigs." she says snickering.

you had on a white t-shirt with blue overalls and a cowgirl hat on to keep the heat from out of your eyes along with your handy dandy cowgirl boots.

"yea yea, I know. but not before i do this!" you exclaim before rubbing your hands all on her arms and rubbing your cheek on her cheek.

"ewwwwwww! gross! whyyyy mee!" Daisy yells out as she runs away from you. you quickly follow after her you catch a glimpse of the four boys staring at you guys. your older brother, aemond, aegon, and jace.

"ok ok! I surrender. I give up, come on daisy I won't do anything, promise!" you yell out at her.

she laughs and puts both her thumbs up before making her way back to you.

you both walk up the porch steps towards the front door when your met with your older brothers gaze.

"Where have you two been? Mom was looking for you both to greet the Targaryens." he says with a stern gaze.

"doing the work you should have been doing. that's where I was." you say with a bit of venom behind it.

"well I was busy. you know taking care of mom." he says. you roll your eyes and so does daisy.

"bullshit Tyler, I was taking care of mom while you were out fucking some girl." daisy announces.

"oh wow, but what the hell was all that talk about how you care for mom's mental health and how you needed to now step up and be the "man" of the house and take care of mom?" you question, restating what he said the day after the funeral.

"I meant that. I'm doing that, I'm putting in more work than you." he says with his chest puffed out.

"Yea tell her." Jace whispers.

'Oh.' you saw what was going on here, Tyler wanted to act all tough and big and bad because they were here. well, you were gonna show your brother just how pathetic he is.

you glare at the boys behind him and then look at your brother again.

"hey by the way, tell that girl, what was her name again, cat? yea did you ever tell her that you had chlamydia and might have given it to her? yea did you tell her that you got it from her sister? well, that's too bad cause I uhm already told her. she's on her way here shortly so that'll be a fun conversation." you say with a smile.

"let's go daisy," you say before walking towards the door. "Oh by the way welcome back boys," you say with an insincere smile on your face before pushing the door to your household open and walking in.

you hear the muffled conversation and you smile knowing that there questioning your brother and his sexual acts and the fact that he just let me punk him.

"that was just cruel but well deserved." daisy says with a giggle. you smile at her and laugh too.

"Hi, Rhaenyra." you greet as you see her and your mom talking at the dining table.

"Hello girls, always a pleasure to see you guys." she says with that warm smile on her face.

sometimes you wished she was your mom instead of your actual mom because Rhaenyra actually understood you, unlike your mom.

"I would hug you but i'm covered in mud and hay, lemme go clean up yea?" you say to her with a smile.

she smiles and nods with understanding and you walk up the stairs towards your room.

you grab a little white sundress with yellow flowers on it. you grab some panties and a bra as well and walk towards your bathroom for a well-deserved shower.

It was currently 7:45 when you finally left your room after your daily reading routine, you got out of the shower a while ago and your ready for dinner.

"Hey! Come downstairs loser, dinner is ready, and Daemons asking for you." daisy says bursting into your room.

"hey, one I'm not a loser and two you had me at Daemon's name," you say excitingly as you rush downstairs with her.

you see Daemon's white hair and his black cowboy hat and sneak up behind him and jump on his back.

"RAHHHH!" You yell out as he twirls you around with his hands on your legs holding you there.

"There she is! How's my special girl." he says with a smile on his face. you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck.

"I'm doing pretty good old man, how are you?" you say laughing when he drops you off him at calling him an old man.

"well I was doing good until that statement child." he says rolling his eyes playfully.

you laugh at him and shove him with your shoulder snatching his hat off his head and putting it on yours. You stand next to him listening to him talk about his time here in the last hour or so and you smile.

your deep in his conversation when Lucerys runs to you with Joffery.

"Hey guys! Omg! Luke you're getting taller dude and Joffery last time I saw you, you were like this short." you say shrinking your hand a bit.

"Hey guess what i'm 7 now! and Luke is 13!" he says proudly. you smile at them and high five the both of them.

"well ain't that something nice," you say roughing up Luke's hair. "Alright, boys why don't you go and find some seats, dinners ready."

they both nod and go find a seat. you smile and bid him a farewell while you go and find a seat next to your sister.

"Hey sissy." you say with a smile. "hey loser." she says with a smirk. you kick her foot and she laughs.

"girls. no playing at the table you know that." your mom says for the first time today.

"but dad never had a problem with it." daisy says in protest. you roll your eyes not even bothering to put up a fight with her.

"Yeah well he's dead isn't he, so whatever I say goes," she says sternly making everyone at the table go silent.

"yea well you haven't done anything around here anyway so what's the point." you whisper under your breath.

"I'm sorry, did you have something you wanted to share with the family?" she says with that aggression and attitude in her tone.

"Miranda don't," Rhaenyra warns.

"No its fine. Yea I do have something to share." you say putting your fork down losing your appetite.

"Here we go again." Tyler says rolling his eyes.

"You have not moved from your room in months. you have done nothing to help with the farm, you just sit around and sulk in the coldness of your room. Daisy has coaxed you to start eating properly, I have stepped up and cooked and helped take care of the fucking animals you and Dad raised when we were babies. and yet, whatever you say is supposed to go? yea, mom that makes total sense coming from a woman who couldn't even go buy fucking groceries for the goddamn house." you say out of anger.

"please don't do this, not again bro," Tyler says.

"No.. no Tyler you have no right to talk. your last words to dad were that you fucking hated him and wished he wasn't alive anymore. and for what? all because he wouldn't let you sneak some fucking whore in the house?" you say angrily with tears streaming down your face.

"You wanna act like the man of the house so bad but you couldn't even make the real man in the house proud. I blame you for his death, every single fucking day. I hate you Tyler, and I hate you Mom because you act like it's nothing. You don't check on your kids, you don't comfort Daisy at night when she wakes up crying and calling out for Dad. you do nothing. and whatever you say goes right?" you yell at Tyler and your mom.

your full-on crying now.

"I can't even look at you anymore," you say finally before looking away from them both and silently crying.

"sorry to ruin this wonderful dinner that Daisy cooked. and I'm sorry Rhaenyra and Daemon and everyone else for making you uncomfortable. I'm fine now." you say calmly.

"darling, it's totally fine. I can tell you needed to let that out." Rhaenyra says with a smile on her face.

"You just ruin everything don't you, no wonder Tyler never wants you around either," Jace says under his breath.

"what the fuck did you just say?!" you yell at jace.

"Man come on don't make her angry," Tyler says.

"JACAERYS VELARYON!" Rhaenyra yells making everyone silent at the table.

"you have no right... no right to say that. out of all people you should understand as you lost your father, don't you start with this family, and put them through more hell." she exclaims.

"I've lost my appetite, i'll eat it later daisy. I'm sorry." you say before running out of the house and running towards the barn.

"why couldn't you just stay quiet like you always are Mom? I made a n-nice dinner and you ruined it. You too Tyler and you Jace. you guys know better but you act fucking childish anyway!" Daisy says with tears in her eyes as she runs to her room.

"I'll go find her, Aegon you go after Daisy. don't worry, we'll fix this." Aemond says.

you're sitting on the bench by the coupe of chickens when you hear rustling behind you.

"go away Tyler! I don't want you here right no-"

"Not Tyler," Aemond announces interrupting your sentence.

you turn around and see aemond standing there with his hands in his pocket.

"come to tease me like Jace does? if so I'm not in the mood," you say sitting back down to feed the chickens.

"actually i'm here to comfort you. see I lost my dad too so I know how you feel. My dad may not have died like yours did but I lost mine and I'm at least civil enough to know that, that shit isn't something to make fun of." aemond says as he sits next to you.

"Yea, it's not," you say throwing more food for the chickens. you glance at him and he's staring right back at you.

"you know I don't hate him, not really." you say with a slight smile on your face.

"who Tyler?" he asks.

"nope, not him no I hate him with my life. I mean Jace. I never hated him. He just started hating on me from the jump so I just went along with it. But it's getting exhausting. were both adults now, were 18, why can't he just act more mature." you say looking at the stars in the sky.

"I don't know, I'm never really around my niece all that well but maybe he likes you. You know, arguing and pretending to hate someone for no reason at all is a sign that they like you but are trying to hide their feelings deep down."

"Oh shut up!" you say shoving him and laughing.

"Just saying," he says with a smile. you smile back at him remembering how fun and nice Aemond really was. when you guys were alone at least.

"by the way you gotta stop bullying Luke, he's 13, and you're 19. get it together bro," you say sternly locking eyes with him.

"yea yea I will." he says smiling at you. you smile back and stare at him.

for a moment it felt as though time had stopped. you both stare at each other before Aemond's smile fades and he leans a little closer to you.

he leans closer and closer until he's near your ear. "we should probably get back, daemons calling." he whispers.

"oh uhm-" you clear your throat. "yeah w-we should. thanks aemond, I really needed this talk." you say with a smile before hugging him.

"no problem." he says hugging you back as he rests his head on yours.

you both walk back engaged in conversation again about his love life. of course, he didn't have a girlfriend. you're gonna have to tell that to Daisy, maybe another night...not tonight.

then out of the blue, Jace pops up in your mind and you speak before your mind can tell you to shut up.

"D-does Jace have a girlfriend by any chance?" you ask keeping your head straight, not daring to look at Aemond's amused face and teasing smirk.

"no...he doesn't. why, are you interested?" he asks nudging you a bit as he chuckles with amusement.

,"No, not at all. Just curious is all." you say with a little giggle. you both make it back to the house and are greeted with Rhaenyra and Daemon's lovely faces.

they thank you that you came back and thank Aemond for bringing you back.

you smile at them and bid the three a goodbye. you try to make your way up the stairs but the sound of Jace's voice stops you.

"Hey, wait," he says walking to catch you quick enough. you turn around with an emotionless expression as you really don't want to speak to him.

"look I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that when I know your clearly hurting. I know what it's like to lose your father or someone close to you. I shouldn't have been such an asshole and I'm really sorry. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I would really appreciate it." he says with a serious face.

you saw past the serious facade though. there was something in his eyes, a look of not only a feeling of apologetics but of sincerity too, and passion and remorse.

a look that you can forgive.

"I forgive you Jace. I am really tired now so, goodnight." you smile at him and give him a light hug.

he hugs you back as his eyes widen. you've never shown him affection like this and neither has he so this... this was new.

"goodnight, i'll see you tomorrow then. my mom told me to help you with whatever chores you need help with," he says.

"oh ok, well then see ya tomorrow Jace." you say as you turn on your heel to make your way towards the stairs and go to your room.

you didn't quite know what tomorrow would hold for you but you prayed it wasn't Jace being an asshole.

if only you knew how much tomorrow was going to be hell for you...

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[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes headcanons for mike & his alters, zoey, alejandro, and duncan

↳ warnings: total drama type violence

↳ song: heat waves—glass animals

masterlist!

𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞

• He is the most sweetest boy to date ever

• Looks at you like you're the sun to his moon

• He loves to surprise you by hugging you from behind and squeezing. Durring a challenge or otherwise

• Big on cuddling. He's so used to having so many people around him constantly with his alters and all, but physically touch has always been hard. So those moments where he can just sit down and chill with you is like heaven

• Give him a kiss and he'll stop functioning all together. A complete and total mess over you, and is so happy that you feel the same way

• Isn't big on using pet names himself, but swoons when you call him babe or anything like that

• Has a talk in the head space with everyone to make sure they're all okay with him dating you. You were actually the one to suggest he do that, wanting to make sure all of him was okay with this

• Mike's not very jealous, either. Something you appreciate. He trusts you unbelievable amounts and isn't one for confrontation, so situations are normally diffused pretty quickly

𝐒𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚

• She is constantly wanting to impress you

• "Love! Look at vhat I can do!" Svetlana called out, balancing on top of the cabins roof with a perfect pirouette. You just clapped from below, cheering her on happily

• "Way to go!"

• Calls you her little flower <3

• If you're up for it, her ideal way to spend time together is to go on a little run. Or any sort of physical activity, really

• Complains that she never gets any time with you in between challenges and the others fronting, so the two of you make do with what time you have. Which normally ends up being really sweet moments

• Her favorite place to kiss you is on your nose, often times giggling in the process

• Getting possessive of you isn't her strong suit. She prefers to just hold your hand while you counter any advances, kissing you on the cheek gleefully as you walk away later

𝐕𝐢𝐭𝐨

• He was so surprised when his flirting actually worked for once

• That doesn't mean he stopped, but at least now he could say he's flirting with his partner and not someone he met five minutes ago

• Much like Svetlana, he spends a lot of his time trying to impress you with things. Albeit not his acrobatic abilities

• "I think my muscles grew overnight babe! What do you think?" He grinned, flexing for you boastfuly and completely missing the way you struggled to keep in a laugh

• Uses pet names for you nonstop. Babe, sugar, sexy, etc. Although you could argue that the last one is less of a pet name and Vito just being Vito

• Jealousy isn't as common a theme with Vito as much as insecurity is. He's always a little bit worried you'll see someone buffer or more tan than him and leave. So you have to reassure him occasionally that you love him for who he is

• His favorite place to kiss you is your lips. It's not anything new, but he can't get enough. Most of the times you have to tap out just so you can breathe while Vito watches on, smug as ever

• "Yeah, I did that to em. Who's the man? Vitos the ma— ow! Okay okay I'll shut up."

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐚

• Aside from Vito, he was the first to make a move on you

• Mike was too nervous and Svetlana hadn't really met you yet, so he took it into his own hands to start something up

• Once you're in a relationship, he will never stop giving you trinkets. They could be from a gift shop, or one of his little adventures. It doesn't matter. He loves bringing you things for you to keep either way. And seeing them sitting on your desk or bed later just makes his heart swell

• Makes up the most bizarre phrases all the time to hear your laugh

• Constanly has an arm around your shoulder head or waist. Very touchy feely. Likes to keep you close to him in case anything happens

• You'll find him tipping his hat your way and winking at you, just to see your neck turn red

• Favorite place to kiss you is on your head/hairline. Doesn't matter if you're taller or shorter than him. He'll find a way

• Doesn't get jealous easily, but that's mostly because he's so sure of himself and his ability to woo you. Manitoba knows he's lucky to have you though, and won't hesitate to step in if things go too far

𝐌𝐚𝐥

• You have no idea how you managed to snag this man

• Didn't even know he liked you back. Or knew that you even existed, for that matter. One morning you just woke up and were suddenly his partner

• Mal isn't really into physical affection as much as the others. The only time he touches you is when he's being territorial—something that happens a lot. Duncan barely looked at you once and he almost bit the punks head off

• Sometimes you'll forget you're even dating him until he monotonely compliments you out of the blue

• His favorite place to kiss you is your neck. He's got a possessive side to him, and loves to see the dark marks he leaves behind. Finds it even more enjoyable when you and the other alters freak out over them

• Will not put up with any nicknames you give him, but insists on calling you doll face and toots. Doesn't matter what your gender is. That's final

• Loves you in his own weird way

𝐙𝐨𝐞𝐲

• She is so stoked to finally be dating you, oh my god

• The sweetest and most nervous thing ever—much like that season four scene where she was fretting if her flower was too much, she'll worry over your relationship constantly. Is she giving you enough attention? Making you feel loved enough? Was that gift she left you the other day alright?

• Will not stop worrying until you assure her that she's just fine. It's that, or you'll have to pull her in for a kiss. That works too

• Gets really flustered when she catches you staring at her lovingly. She feels like she should be the one doing that, not the other way around

• Kisses all over you!! She will just pepper them across your face all day unless you stop her

• Always looking out for your back durring challenges. And if something ever happens, she's by your side in an instant

𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨

• Was so persistent at taking you out on a date

• Genuinely liked you and wanted to get to know you more than just as another competitor, so he asked you out

• Smiled the brightest he ever had when you accepted

• Play with his hair please, dear lord. You're the only person allowed to touch his precious locks, but he loves when you do. Could lie with his head in your lap twenty four seven, falling asleep to the feeling of your fingers against his scalp

• Anytime someone else flirts with you, he'll just smoothly slide up next to you and pull you into a deep kiss until they've been scared off. Hasn't failed yet

• Your temple is his favorite place to kiss you, though. It feels so intimate to him compared to anything else

• Will say the sweetest things to you in his mother tounge. And if you don't speak Spanish, he will happily translate them for you

𝐃𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧

• He is in so much denial about you at first

• Of course he doesn't like you. Why would he! You're only the funniest, most unpredictable person he knows; who manages to make him at ease everytime he's around you

• Doesn't even care if Courney gets pissy at him for dating you. She can suck it as far as he cares

• Calls you babe so much. Like, he fits it into every sentence

• "Babe, could you hand me that?"

• "Nice going babe!"

• "Mind turning off the lights for me babe?"

• Has fun letting you dye his mowhawk green. You're always the first person he asks for when it starts to loose it color, looking forward to a night of goofing off over hair dye

• Duncan definitely carved both your names inside a heart on a tree at the island. Didn't even tell you about it. Knowing it was there was good enough for him

• Let's you wear his spikes when you ask. Calls you punk as fuck when you do <3

[a-doubleh-x]

Why I like Charlastor

The other day I noticed there was some negativity in the Charlastor tag, including antis and people feeling the need to defend against antis, so I thought I might as well take a step back and just write candidly about why I like the ship.

I only got into Hazbin in October of last year, but already it has inspired me a lot to write and fantazise about it. Like most people, I started with the classic "they look cute together", but as I kept looking I couldn't help but think there was something else to these two than first met the eye.

For starters, I love Pollyanas! I think they get a bad rep for being naive, but I just appreciate an optimist like Charlie who just wants to make people around her happy because it makes her happy. I also like bad boys 😳 I'm a pretty heteronormative guy, so I haven't had a big chance to explore that part of myself yet, but I do like the danger and excitement someone like Alastor brings to the table.

I will admit when I started writing Charlastor I felt like I was handling dynomite. It's a lil scary to ship a boundless altruist with a manipulative sociopath, but bear with me.

I think each of them has something the other needs. I think Charlie needs someone to challenge her, someone to steer her in the right direction while she's mostly isolated. At the start of the series, practically nobody but Vaggie takes her seriously, and Alastor is no exception. He mocks her, teases her, but she still listens and I think it's because somewhere deep down she understands there's something he's trting to communicate in his annoying, but curious way.

Of course, I also love the fanon Charlie who's down bad for Alastor, and even if that Charlie is a little naive, I think it's also sweet and she can use some indulgence while most people treat her like a child.

On the other hand, when it comes to Alastor, this is a bit of a theory on my part, but I think he's secretely lonely. He has friends, certainly, like Rosie and Mimzy, but they're not good enough friends to live together with him. They don't seem to be able to save him from "pure, absolute boredom". But Charlie, for some reason can, even though she's a stranger at the beginning when Alastor chooses to move into the Hotel.

Alastor is not as much of a cynic as someone who chooses to see things in a perspective that benefits him. He doesn't think redeeming sinner is "hopeless", but "hilarious" instead, which has interesting implications to me. That's why he chooses to hover around Charlie, not because he thinks she's lame, rather because he thinks she's silly. She makes him laugh. Which I think is kind of how Alastor sees "love".

And then you have fanon Alastor who, depending on the writer, is either a horny animal, a wisecrack edgelord or a soft boy who's mean to everyone but Charlie XD I like several of those interpretations, but I kinda prefer mine just out of personal taste. I think the best part about Alastor is that he doesn't *care* what anyone thinks of him and always does what he wants, even at the expense of other people, which I find pretty enviable.

They're kinda both outcasts in their own ways. Charlie by being unable to fit in and Alastor being unwilling to compromise. But they don't judge each other. He supports her in his own weird way and she houses him and is delighted of him in general, which is tasty food for his ego. I do wonder why Alastor is interested in Charlie, both in canon and in a fandom vacuum.

There's some cool potential for drama there, but also growth and healing, in my opinion. Personally, I think Alastor doesn't want to actually *hurt* Charlie, but he may hurt those around her, which will be a moment to start settling compromises if Charlie puts her foot down.

That haz bin my review so far! I'm honestly pretty grateful for Vivziepop for all of the work she's done so far, I know directing, animating and writing two shows over the course of 5 year or so ain't easy. I'm also grateful to the fandom who shares their thoughts and vision, which calms the terrible voices I started hearing in my head since I bought this weird old radio.

I'm in the middle of a break, but if you're interested in my fanfics I'll get back to writing very soon. Cheers! 🌈❤🦌

[cryptomiracle]

more creepypasta headcanons

(+ marble hornets)

WARNINGS:

Ooc? Idk

I started this at 2 am and you can tell

Cursing

I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird

Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.

This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.

You could even say they're a bit... silly.

You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)

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Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.

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Jeff:

he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.

He has an "emo accent"

He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.

He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow

He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.

His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.

He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.

He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.

BEN:

He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku

He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait

Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die

Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"

He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.

He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins

He once doxxed someone for dissing miku

slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch

once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game

Toby:

He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them

Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.

His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff

Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer

He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc

more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )

When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender

He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.

Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.

Hoodie:

He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.

He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway

He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then

He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end

He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him

He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.

Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.

he sends streaks.

Masky:

He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more

Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.

He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years

If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.

he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.

he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.

Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.

he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.

he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.

he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.

he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.

he doesn't even have YouTube installed.

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I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M

[mischiefmaker615]

Marked

Rating: R

Note: Sorry its a bit short

Summary: Loki finds a way to make sure everyone knows you are his..

‘’Loki stop- you need to chill out!’’ you yelp as you stumble through your apartment door while your boyfriend pretty much just gropes you in public. You bat his hands away properly from your chest and waist once you toss your purse, hunching forward when you feel his lips try to attack your neck next; resulting in giving him better access to your ass instead.

‘’you know I don’t approve when you surround yourself with the male mortals- I know what those animals are thinking.’’ He growled as he pulled to against him by your waist, your rump very much feeling how hard he was as you stable yourself still.

‘’you mean when I go to work? Men can be disgusting out there- but you act like something happened every day-‘’

‘’they look upon you like you are meat, lusting for you to be theirs. If their eyes are on you, its as if they had already laid their hands on you love’’ Loki reasoned, his grip tightening ever so slightly as you turn around in his arms, your hands on his chest to keep him looking at you rather than allow him to have access to your front now.

‘’and every day I reassure you that I am yours and nothing will change that.’’ You tell him, voice serious as you look him in the eyes gentle and meaning every word.

His gaze softened, knowing it wasn’t a new lecture- and you knew it wouldn’t be the last. Yet he understood, and you understood him. ever since you got to together, he had been possessive; protective as he calls it. working in the field where there was mostly male wasn’t easy, and you knew they looked at you like animals. But, nothing has ever happened and you do our best to be aware of your surroundings and let him know immediately if anything did happen- but this behavior of his seemed to get out of hand when he didn’t give a shit about doing public displays of affection in.. well, public.

‘’well.. what needs to be done so this whole.. routine could ease up for the both of us?’’ you sigh, looking at him gentle with your hands cupping his cheeks, wanting to help him.

Looking down at you with the same gentle expression, his eyes went in to thought, gazing off ever so slightly from yours before they returned to you with a knew meaning. His expression changed to something of an idea, a result- a hungry conclusion which made you take a small step back but he already began advancing.

Taking steps back only made him take steps forward before your back found the door real quick. You trusted him with your life but his usual lust state always made you nervous- because you couldn’t read him.

His hands found the wall on either side of your shoulders, caging you in and by his tense muscles, you knew he was prepared on stopping you from ducking under. All you could do was look up at him as he leaned close, his eyes dilated as he ghosted the tip of his nose against your neck, taking in your sweet scent he loved so much with a deep inhale.

‘’L-Loki…’’ you whisper with uncertainty of what exactly his plan was with the matter you were previously discussing. The feeling of his body slowly getting closer to yours made itself known before he moved a knee between your legs and the rest of his body against yours to keep you pinned.

You could almost feel him smirking as you whimpered, feeling him lightly grind his knee against your cunt as your hands gripped his shoulders. Already feeling yourself getting wet, you suddenly feel his hand gently brush your hair to the side to allow him access to your neck before the same hand cupped your jaw and turned your face to the side while his other hand stabilized your shoulder more to prevent you from moving.

Knowing exactly what he will be doing, you start struggling but he keeps you face turned to the side and your movements only helped add more friction to your cunt against his knee as you gripped his shoulders, whining while you feel his soft breath on your flesh.

‘’you want the lectures to stop, then hold still..’’ he whispered before he suddenly placed his lips against the crook of your neck.

You’ve both had sex before, not a lot of stuff he did was new to you, but most of the reasons behind his actions for some reason always made you jump. His grip on you was gentle but firm, determined to keep you still as he pressed his body more into you while your pushing back deemed useless.

His lips were soft, using a sucking motion against your skin while feeling his tongue slowly lap your skin as if it were your clit. The shear action alone made your cheeks redden and a shiver run down your skin while the hand on your jaw shifted ever so slightly so his thumb was running alone your bottom lip playfully.

Your body began to shiver, feeling him suck slightly harder while his lips traveled, licking the spot on your skin before going to attack it once more. Your skin began to tingle, feeling the blood traveling up to your skin and leaving goosebumps on your arms. You felt his knee shift in slow motions, up and down against your cunt as you moaned before your eyes opened when his lips left your neck.

Looking over his work, he smirked and playfully pulled your bottom lip down before letting go, taking a step back. ‘’alright darling, if I can’t stop the males from gazing upon you then I shall provide them as a reminder that you already belong to someone.’’ He said confidently and smirked at you dangerously as you placed a hand on your neck, as if you expected it to be gone. ‘’and you’ll be wearing them. Every. Damn. Day.’’

‘’’..t-them?’’ you whimper as he smirked, caging you in again against the wall, getting reminded just how different your height differences are.

‘’don’t think that this was the only one i planned on giving you…’’

[mydarlingclaudia]

ENTER THE SURVIVAL HORROR…

OCTOBER FIC PLANS 𓉸

some fics I will be posting in October will contain dark content or will be dead dove (given I’ve never really written for either subject so this is new territory for me) but two of the fics I’m going to write are based on or inspired by horror movies and I’ll be writing both Chris and Leon!

also post dates and descriptions may change a tiny bit (though not likely!!) because I have actually only finished one of these fics, but if I do change anything I'll reblog this post!!

coming soon ⟢

taste no evil inspired by… THE VVITCH (10/30/24) -> Leon Kennedy x fem!reader

it's just you and your husband out in the woods. oh, and whatever is living among the trees. you think it's some beastly animal, Leon knows it's witches. but he can't tell you that, you'd freak out, insist on moving closer to town or even further away from where you already lived. Leon can keep you safe, he knows he can, why must you be so paranoid all the time? it doesn't help his case when your animals start being picked off and you start seeing things more clearly. it only ends badly for the both of you.

established relationship, tiny bit of fluff, gore, animal death, I make shit up about witches, cannibalism, major character death, au, fem!reader, re4r!Leon

how much blood would you shed to survive? based on… SAW (10/18/24) -> Chris Redfield x fem!reader

cheating doesn't make you a bad person, it's not like you were even married to the guy, Chris didn't even try to stop you from hitting on him, anyway. maybe getting romantically involved with your coworker wasn't the best decision you've made, but why should anyone else care? you don't let your relationship with him get in the way of your work, all you really do is help each other try to track down the murderer running through Raccoon City, how were you supposed to know said murderer would be your boss? and how were you supposed to know that you'd wake up in one of these traps one morning with Chris getting there surprisingly fast to help you escape?

established relationship, gore, mentions of infidelity, au, fem!reader, re5!Chris

she’s demonic and bloody, but she holds me tight inspired by… IN MY ROOM (10/10/24) -> Leon Kennedy x fem!reader

a college kid with a social life that's almost non-existent figures the dead girl that comes to his room every night is his girlfriend, some say that's a bad thing, he says it's everything he could wish for. who cares, anyway? it's not hurting anyone! well, not yet, at least. there's an endless list of things he'd do for you, you don't even have to ask. but why won't you come back after he takes care of a problem that would have torn you away from him? you love him, right?

not-really established relationship (idk how to explain it), a bit suggestive, Leon is kinda gross, necrophilia, gore, au, fem!reader, re2r!Leon

mouthful of love (10/2/24) -> Chris Redfield x fem!reader

mission gone wrong, the rest of your team had already been killed, so when you end up dying in that same mission it only makes things worse. but Chris can’t just leave you, right? no, that would be cruel, but he can’t really drag around a dead body with him either. who’s gonna know if he took a few bites out of you just to keep you with him? the place had already been crawling with monsters, it wouldn’t be a totally crazy thing to find on a corpse.

established relationship, major character death, gore, cannibalism, fem!reader, anywhere post re1 Chris

I will be using dark content and dead dove for tags so you’ll be able to filter out these fics. I don’t really expect anyone to give a shit about this but for those of you who do wanna read these thank you and happy halloween <3 I might also be posting extras if I find the time and feel like it, those are also probably going to be more cutesy fall fics sooooo

[cookiescribble]

Don’t Let Yourself Fade Away (Spencer Reid x GN!Reader)

A/N: Hello there! This one’s a little sad, but it was healing to write. Seeing Spence get shut down sometimes when he gets so animated and excited about the most random topics breaks my neurodivergent heart, so here’s to not only him, but anyone else who feels shut out when they talk about their true passions in life <3 - Mod Ghost

p.s. thank you to everyone 🥺❤️

“The average lifespan of a human is about 73.5 years, and your ears never truly stop growing in that time so if you think about it…” Spence trailed off, just as he was about to finish his sentence. 

“...What were you about to say, sweetheart?” I ask, having been quiet up until now as I listened to him speak. I could tell just by looking at him that he’d gone somewhere deep in that big head of his, and I have no idea what caused it. He suddenly had this glazed over look to his eye and it hurt my heart to look at it. Whatever it was, I wanted to gently pull him back to me.

“Hmm? Oh, nothing, it’s uh, not important. Are you hungry?” He asked as he started to stand off the couch in his apartment where we were both sitting, but stopped when I grabbed his wrist so he could look back at me with those big eyes that looked like they belonged on a puppy and not my boyfriend. 

“It’s not nothing, Spence, why’d you stop talking?” I gently tugged on his arm, trying to get him to sit back down with me.

Spencer looked confused, as if it somehow made less sense for me to ask why he stopped talking than for him to go quiet mid thought. He stood there silently for a moment before sitting back next to me, sheepishly piping up again, “I’ve calculated the amount of time it takes for others to either become disinterested in what I have to say and stop listening or cut me off completely, which is about anywhere from 25 seconds to a minute, so I decided that instead of letting that happen, I would cut myself off at a somewhat natural point in that time frame so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore…Neither would anyone else, so there’s statistically at least one ‘plus side’ to it..” He looked away from me halfway through the sentence, like he was suddenly scared of making eye contact with me. 

The more he spoke, I felt an ache growing in my chest until the entirety of my core was filled with a raw and harrowing anguish. Who on Earth could look at him and ever tell him that he wasn’t interesting or that they didn’t want to hear what he had to say? I always look forward to talking to him, no matter what he says. The sound of his voice is so comforting to me and one of my worst fears is never hearing it again. 

“Oh, Spencer…I…I don’t even know what to say…who made you think like that?” I brush his hair back behind his ear as I speak, moving closer to him so our knees are brushing together.

“Well, at work, sometimes…sometimes, I can get a bit too carried away and I end up just rambling while everyone’s trying to catch the unsub…but even on the jet, if I get too caught up in a topic, I end up blabbering and then whoever I’m talking to loudly says ‘WOW, that’s interesting!’ and walks away, or it’s ‘I’m so glad I asked!’ before the same outcome occurs. Or the worst one is when they just walk away without saying anything,” he momentarily stops, staring off into space as if recalling a memory. “That one hurts the most.”

My brow furrows and I feel tears leak from my own eyes as I see some streaking their way down his face, pulling him toward me until he starts to fold himself into my arms and lets me rub his back gently.

“I don’t care who says or does those things to you…no matter what, I’m always going to want to listen to you speak. I’ll hang on to every one of your words as I wait for the next, because everything you say is always so interesting to me. I love watching your eyes crinkle up when you smile, and hearing how fast you talk when you get really excited. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get enough of your voice, so don’t let yourself fade away because some of the people in your life don’t appreciate you the same way that I do.” I whisper close to his ear, brushing his hair away from his face with my hand that wasn’t rubbing his back. 

He woefully nodded, sniffling pitifully and slowly breaking down as I held him. It was as if something deep inside of his soul broke loose, and he was finally setting it free. He was letting himself feel it, and hopefully start to heal from it at the very least. I’ve been in a similar position to him before, and I would never want to make him feel that way if I could help it. Spence continued to cry for a while longer, and I held him until he sat up enough to look at me. 

“Did you really mean what you said…? About my voice and my smile…?” His voice cracked as he spoke, and I smiled reassuringly as I leaned forward to press a kiss to his temple. 

“Every last word,” I murmured close to his ear, running my hand through his hair again as he closed his eyes. 

He sat still and quietly for a moment, as if he were soaking in everything that we’d said. The only noise in the room was the sound of our breathing until he broke the silence with a soft mutter of “thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for? Telling the truth?” 

Spence only laughed, rolling his eyes at me as if I was telling a joke. 

It was nice to see him smile, though, so I let it go. 

“Now, about that food…” he changed the subject, and for whatever reason, I let him. I think I just wanted to let him be himself, even if it was just for a little while. 

“You asked if I was hungry because you were hungry??” I asked with a dramatic gasp, standing up and pulling him to stand with me. “I never knew you were the type of man to have ulterior motives.” I teased, walking with him to the kitchen. 

“I don’t think that’s usually used in the context of food, my love.” he let out a giggle, a goofy smile spreading across his face as we looked through his fridge together. 

Just hearing him laugh was like music to my ears, and I would give anything in the world to keep hearing it for every day of my life.

[luffyvace]

Hey there brook! I hope u having a nice day! Can I ask for a luffy x heroic fem reader headcanon? by heroic I mean that she completely dedicated her life to help and save ppl and that her purpose in life, she's strong and seems cold but when u get to know her she has empathy more than anyone else, I feel like this is the perfect character that luffy would fall in love with, pure kindness hiding behind a tough facade, she doesn't even like being called a hero, yet she is willing to do anything for those in need, slaves, poor villages, she goes against anything unjust without any fear, cause thats her purpose in life (sorry if that was too long 💀)

Hi anon <33 (it makes me so happy that someone finally addressed me as that💗)

today was a very chill day 😊 thank you! How’s yours?

Reader sounds so genuine with such a good background for a op character!!

(Don’t worry it’s not too long—I love to read:3)

Ngl luffy subconsciously sees a little bit of himself in you!!

like your hearts are so similar—gold!

of course he doesn’t directly think that way- but he feels the connection!

which is through helping!

you two never turn your backs on those who have never wronged you

its not even about if they’re on your side or not, as long as they haven’t wrong you? and they need help?

the both of you are on it 🤜🤛👍

you wanting to save others becomes admirable to more than just him, to all of the straw hats—chopper and usopp especially!

I’m gonna go ahead and say it here and now you remind both Jinbe and luffy of whitebeard and fishman island type thing

LIKE THAT’S HOW IT IS!!

Y/n is just her tbh 🤷‍♀️

and if the ops don’t like that? 🤨

🤜💥

how you like that? >:)

your strength may or may not be hereditary but either way if you don’t continue training or working out your gonna loose that strength eventually

which shows just how hard you train everyday!!

bro works harder than zoro 🗿

and we all know he don’t sleep on workin out

so y/n is a gorilla the og

its no wonder you be cookin the ops like breakfast👩‍🍳👍

this is literally turning into a rant about me being (name)’s biggest fan ok let’s move on

luffy saw you cold exterior and was like

😍😍😘🥰😘💍💋💋💋

LOLOLOL no but fr he looked straight past that

he always does- he ignored law’s and zoro’s why wouldn’t he with you-

and once he sees your true kindness???

Locked in like a booty hole 🔗

(ANYWAY I HAD TO🧍‍♀️)

yeah he pretty much busts right through that

he pretty much instantly demands you already are is nakama after that

Your empathy is what really swoops him off his feet tho

like luffy has a good sense of empathy so much so he can hear the voice of all things

and you probably can too! It’s highly likely!

(y/n could have her own anime at this point 🤷‍♀️😚)

But seriously the way he can just feel the way you long for others when they’re in pain just gets him right at the heartstrings you know?! 🥺❤️‍🩹

you comfort them so assuredly and keep your promise to win every time !!

luffy would admire himself more than he would know if he realized how alike the two of you are

tbh you probably admire luffy!!

like it’s a mutual thing, where you pretty much don’t see your own coolness you only see the other’s

so you admire each other unaware that your the same 😂💗

he absolutely adores and admires that empathetic part of you thoo!

he loves how your kind and tough

he wholeheartedly believes the strong should protect the weak, cuz that’s what a man does.

especially with nakama.

so he definitely understands your need to protect those who can’t do it for themselves

there are many times he can recall where he had to rely on others

so he loves that your the one who does that for people

and you don’t do it for the money or fame!

you don’t even view yourself as the hero and savior that bystanders see you as!

that’s so cool to him!

you background/past might’ve caused it! Like maybe you had no superhero! So you decided to become one!

he kinda looks up to you in a way 🤩

as someone who has also helped slaves and the poor he completely understands where you come from in your kindness

and it’s even cooler that you charge head on into battle for others without a second thought

that’s just how tough you are ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

not an ounce of fear in your eyes as you walk up to someone 20x the size of you to simply get back the bread they stole from a poor little child

LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?! 💥💥

your a super hero!! Dundun duh-duuuuuun!!

🦸‍♀️‼️🤩

you have a goal just like him!! He wants to be the king of pirates and you wanna help others!

With the type of pirate he is?, those things go hand in hand 🤝

”STRAW HAT LUFFY AND PIRATE HERO (NAME) IS HERE!! RUN AWAY!!”

says the pirates who know they’ve done wrong doing!! 😎

also excuse (name)’s lame pirate alias i couldn’t think of one 😊💖

(Name) is so cool 😎 I admire her 💓

hope you enjoyed your hcs anon!! *super heroes away🦸‍♀️🚀*

[unseemingowl]

Saga Anderson, and Nordic rep in Alan Wake 2

Early on in Saga Anderson’s exploration in Alan Wake 2, she runs into Ilmo Koskela. Fiercely proud of his Finnish heritage, Ilmo gregariously makes note of Saga’s Nordic sounding name and the familiar design of her knitted sweater. Perhaps a fellow Finn?

Alas no, Saga’s mom is Swedish she informs him. Immediately Ilmo’s face falls. I’m not sure if it’s actually just the animated character defaulting to his resting face, but either way the timing is too perfect. Cue uproarious laughter from me. People in the Nordics are on friendly terms of course, but we gotta have the tiniest bit of… scornfor each other. All in good fun of course. It’s traditional.

Now, I’m Danish, not Finnish, but still, I feel right at home in the towns of Bright Falls and Watery in Alan Wake 2. All of the little nods to Nordic culture and mindset feel so wonderfully familiar to me. The melancholia, the irreverent sense of humor, the affection for the Finnish and Swedish quirks of the characters. The game feels all the stronger in tone and narrative for Remedy embracing the Finnish roots of the studio.

Which is exactly why it sucks that I almost immediately saw the charm of those narrative decisions weaponised against Saga.

I first watched the scene between Ilmo and Saga on a lets play when I was trying to figure out if I should finally dip my toes into survival horror and buy the game. Delighted by the writing I took a look into the comments to see if people were vibing as hard with it as I was. They were. But I also saw a comment that made me frown.

Paraphrasing, it basically went, come on, like hell a guy like Ilmo would make the assumption that a black woman is Finnish. There are a multitude of reasons why I think that person was wrong, mainly that Nordic people love it when we run into each other in other countries, but it also just made me sad.

Saga being black does not negate her Swedish heritage. Formally, she is American, sure (I assume, not sure how that works in the US), but she’s raised by her single Swedish mom, of course she’s going to identify heavily with that part of her herself. It’s a profound and essential part of who she is.

But hey, I’m a white potato Dane, so I’m not gonna argue that I know much about the experience of being biracial. I’m gonna stick to what I know, which is that Saga is a very moving and beautiful example of something that I’m actually not used to seeing much of - a story about connecting with your Nordic heritage and roots. And it’s part of why I love her so much.

When Nordic people show up in big, international productions, it’s usually as Vikings, and sure, it’s fun to see our wild ancestors, but contemporary questions of Nordic identity and heritage is not something I often see explored. Not even in our own productions.

So much of Saga’s story is about family. Fighting for her current one, Logan and Casey (and sure, David too, lol), and rediscovering her first one. Tor and Odin.

Her discovering her ties to Tor and Odin is profoundly moving and made me teary-eyed several times over. And sure, a lot of those ties are fantastical in nature, but they still feel very much grounded - and what makes us Nordic if not the ties to our myths and legends that Tor and Odin have made themselves the living avatars of.

While Saga’s mom, Freya, had good reasons for leaving the Anderson seer magics behind, seeing them as part of what made her family fucked up, she also cut Saga off from the fullness of her capabilities. It is only through Saga reforming her family, healing its scars and fully embracing the Anderson heritage that she becomes as powerful a parautilitarian as she is at the end of the game. That’s beautiful.

And in fact I think Saga being black only deepens the richness of those themes rather than negate them or make them irrelevant. Because yes, Saga’s story would have been moving if she was a white character too, but I am very well aware that a lot of biracial people of Nordic ancestry can feel alienated from that part of themselves. Not least because questions of who gets to claim a Nordic heritage can get pretty ugly around here. There are most definitely people who share the racist mindset of that commentator. It adds an extra dimension. Which is why seeing Tor and Odin’s eagerness to claim Saga as part of the Anderson heritage is all the more moving. Through her magics, she’s just so obviously an Anderson, and they’re so damn proud to call her theirs and fight alongside her. Because they all got that wild Viking blood in them. They’re part of her and she’s part of them.

Roger Ebert, the film critic once called movies empathy machines. I think games, when they’re at their best, can be an even more intense variation of that. Which is exactly why it baffles me that some people can play through Alan Wake 2 and still think Saga is a stunt-woke character rather than someone fully and beautifully integrated in the narrative. A narrative which, at its most basic level – in my opinion – is about the mystical bonds we form with each other and the rest of the world through art and love and blood and family and heritage. All the great horror doesn’t negate that either, it amplifies it. Kind of like that clicker.

[umbra-mayhem]

ADHD!John "Soap" MacTavish

To accompany my ocd!Ghost, here's an adhd!Soap cause I also have adhd and must make these stupid made-up military men suffer like me.

(tw for skin picking and accidental SH)

He has a particular place for everything he owns and will not place something down unless it is in one of those designated spots. Because otherwise, he'll place something down and completely forget where it is. He also labels everything he owns with his initials so that even if he misplaces something, it can be returned to him (This is something his mother used to do for him when he was a kid. It worked then, so he just kept doing it on his own as he got older).

During briefs/debriefs/meetings, he has to stand in the back of the room because 'dammit Soap, you're moving too much and it's distracting everyone'. He has idle animation (haha get it), typically bouncing on the balls of his feet or swaying back and forth.

He needs to be doing something with his hands at all times, which usually means either fiddling mindlessly with his knife or ripping at the skin on his fingers/lips. Ghost doesn't particularly care for either of these options, as they often accidentally leave Soap bloody one way or another. Once he realizes Soap just needs his hands occupied, Ghost buys him a small pack of fidget toys. Soap becomes obsessed with them (definitely not because a certain Lieutenant gifted them to him, no definitely not).

He talks constantly, saying anything that pops into his head. He doesn't have much of a temper, so that's a good thing at least. But he does sometimes make snarky comments that can get him into a bit of trouble. It seems the only time he is fairly quiet is when he's out on the field.

Really, the field is the only place he can fully concentrate. He hyper focuses on the task at hand, which usually works in the team's favor. Until he can't let something go. Getting Soap to retreat can be a challenge. He wants to see their objective completed, stubborn little git. But overall, the field is where most of his symptoms move to the back burner.

His RSD is rough, though he rarely lets it show. Nobody other than Ghost knows how insecure Soap can get. How he stays up late berating himself over all the ways he thinks he fucked up that day. Soap believes he just needs to work harder. And sure, his RSD can drive him to improve his performance. But often, he is far too hard on himself and a bit too convinced that people are angry with him when they really aren't. (When Ghost realizes this, he makes a conscious effort to remind Soap that he loves him and isn't mad at him.)

[akanesheep]

So, now that I finished the Brothers ‘How they fell for MC’ series, I’m going to talking about the poly hierarchy within them:

It will go without saying that as far as the power structure, not much will change. The brothers have always lived this way, they’re comfortable with that end of the power dynamic.

Where it gets shiftier is where jealousy flare ups happen. This is where MC steps in. They don’t happen as much once the brothers agree to the relationship. MC does have their work cut out for them though. 7 partners is a lot, and we haven’t even gotten to the Prince, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon.

MC has to see the whole picture, or as close as possible. Which brothers handle their jealousy best, what day is promised to which brother, what are the circumstances of the argument. This sheep is a whole diplomat. Carefully treading the waters to find the fair and valid points. It isn’t perfect, but it’s fair. For example, if it’s date night with Mammon, but Levi just won tickets to an event for tonight and wants MC to go, it’s Mammon’s night. So unless Mammon volunteers his night to Levi, then that’s that.

Usually that’s when Levi’s envy will kick in, but he will be reminded of the times his brothers have had to respect his nights with you too.

It takes a few months for everyone to settle out, but once the routine is in place it works quite nicely.

It gets more hectic if you include Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, & Solomon. (Which I do, like, have you met me??)

The brothers will grumble at first for a few reasons. Those that have issue with Diavolo will complain about him moving in on their partner. Some will be opposed to an Angel being involved with MC, and some will make comments about that shady sorcerer; but a few conversations as a group bring everyone to the same mind set, and ultimately things adjust.

I say group conversation and I mean group conversations. It’s one thing for a brother or partner to mention something to MC as a one off issue, but more than once and it will be addressed during the weekly gathering. It sounds like a bit of a business meeting, but it keeps the air between everyone open and clear. After all, they are all functioning as a singular unit.

Diavolo’s responsibilities can make a scheduled date night near impossible, as can Lucifer’s, and Barbatos’. Lunch dates are common between them. Official events that require attendance are tricky, who do they attend with? Usually they attend as the hosts guest. Which means Diavolo usually… and MC will wear Diavolo’s colors, however there will be a flash of sapphire, a twinkle of gold, a glint of emerald… yes, they make sure some part of themselves is recognizing all of them. Even if it’s a bracelet or a ring with each of them represented. They also have access to dance with MC during the event. There’s a protocol to this as with all things. The host gets first and last dance, no question. After those dances, depending on how much MC wants to dance, they take turns. Beel, Levi, & Belphie aren’t big on dancing, so they use their time to help MC recover, drinks, snacks, conversation. MC loves them for the ability to slow down and just observe the room, to take a breath.

Let me pause here to point out that while most events are hosted by Diavolo, there are a large number hosted by Asmo, or Mammon. Satan has hosted a few art shows, Levi is a frequent honored guest at anime conventions, as well as his Royal Navy duties. So usually in some small place or time, they are all the main partner to MC.

With the addition of the non-brother partners, it does get a little more complicated schedule wise, as there is no longer a set day for each, and sometimes days get shifted because of late night work (Lucifer, Dia, and Barbatos) so depending on MC’s mood, they either go in to help work, or they have a pajama party and movie night with the others, sometimes, they just have a rare night alone, to soak in the tub and relax, put on one of their partner’s shirts and curl up, read a book, and drift off to sleep.

Or get surprised by the door bursting open to find one of the brothers charging forward with some kind of insanity (they will never learn to knock XD)

So there you have it, how MC balances a poly relationship with all the brothers + the non-brother dateables.

[verysanebsdfan]

Hiii!!

So I really loved your ciel , tokito, and killua x doll reader

So I was wondering if you could do one of a reader who is a absolute angel and looked like one but also has a blood manipulation nen so basically a demon nen and similar to the doll one she says some stories that sometimes disturb our lovely assassin

And also one where reader is very similar to misa misa from death note !! She's a famous model w kira as her nen and she joined the Hunter to try and see what else she could do!!

Ty!!

Hello!!

I assume only with Killua then?

Either way i made this two separate stories, after its done i will link it here too if i remember. Also my hxh oc from 2021 had blood manipulation nen...

You can find the second story here

Also to the nen, i imagine you could both make weapons and stuff (make it not liquid using the iron in blood or smth) and move the blood, idk how to explain it but, when the blood is circulating in your oponents body, you can move it (while its still circulating) and consequently move the body of your oponent.

✩ Okay so to start very uhh originally, you guys met at the hunter exam, so you travel with Gon and him.

✩ Maybe you met during the third phase since you fell into the same room as them

✩ Of course they didn't really trust you at first, since it is the hunter exam and they should be cautious, but when you got stuck in the room for 50 hours, you bonded, since you were the same age as Gon and Killua.

✩ Killua was really impressed by your fight from before, very much wondering how you did what you did. I mean, it was obvious your oponent wouldn't just jump from the platform by himself...

✩ Of course he asked you about it, but you just responded with a smile and a wink

✩ So, after the hunter exam and saving Killua from his creepy ahh family, you went to the Heavens arena and met Zushi and Wing. When Wing gave them the vague and quite incorrect description of nen, that is when it clicked, and he asked you about your abilities.

✩ And you just responded with your angelic smile. Why was he feeling all tingly tho? (¬ ͜ ͡¬)

✩ When you got onto the 200th floor, you actually stood through Hisokas nen, oopsies a mistake, and just went to sign up for a match since you were bored by all those weak people in lower floors.

✩ Now, when Killua and learned the basics of nen and stuff, he invaded your room and started asking questions...

"So i just can...even stop their heart and stuff...i mean, it will beat for a little bit but the blood wont circulate...and then they will pass out and die...If the blood and oxygen supply is cut off, muscle cells of the heart begin to suffer damage and start to die so..." "That's terrifying, you can kill anyone...but can you also, i dunno, help people who are about to bleed out" "I am working on it, but i cannot do miracles, i am not a god nor an angel (debatable)...If the blood gets on the ground as well and i were to put it back inside the persons body, i may very well just kill them...I have yet to learn how to separate blood and bacteria....i mean it is the same as taking out a toy from pool of blood, but just really small...then another problem is getting it into veins...and if i were to stop the bleeding, i might acidentally stop the whole blood circulation, im no doctor though"

✩ And you are just saying it as if you didnt kill people like that...however it is very respectable

✩ And then in Yorknew city he confesses yipee...and then you meet the Phantom troupe😍

✩ Now, Killua sually really worries about you, i mean, you are an angel basically...and people are pigs, predators...animals...but luckily you can protect yourself SO!!

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Idk what to say anymore...not happy with this at all

[thepersonperson]

Ok so i kinda binge read all of your blogs in your pinned post and GODDAMN the gojo ones BROKE me it's not like i already didn't have a fair clue about the entire Gojo's loneliness and cruel treatment that's inflicted on him but going onto it in such deatail...oh my god... it's 2am here and i'm literally sobbing

i'm someone who's always been a part of either twitter or IG fandom and most of the times its either people (dudebros especially) are always completely mischaracterising Gojo, making him some kind of god who they can project themselves onto or either its just thrist posts or satosugu, female fans do have an emotional knowledge and understanding to it and it's no surprise how male fans perceive him but now when I think about it it's just so sad and unfair like even in real world people DO NOT see him for who he truly is (they just see him as the 'strongest' or 'nah i'd win' iykwim) and always ignore his vulnerability and emotions aspects of his character that makes him HUMAN oh my god it's making me sick. We don't deserve Gojo Satoru.

He is such a well written character, truly one of the best and Gege knew what he was doing when he made him such a prince charming, undeniably beautiful man to ecer exist and I think that just makes people completely ignore the core of his character.

I'm sorry if it ended up being a yapping session (you don't have to reply at all!! we cool)

I just couldn't help myself, your blogs seriously changed my life. If I loved Gojo before now I love him even more and most importantly I accept him for who he is, all these powerscalling seriously takes away so much of his character but sadly there's nothing we can do about it.

And let's not even start on the whole homosexuality romance stuff, there was no hope to begin with given the rise of dudebros in recent times.

brb gonna go cry more...

I love it when people yap at me don't worry about it.

Ok Anon. The timing of this ask is crazy because in the post you mention there was an interesting convo going on in the replies. I want to include them in my response to you.

Replies on the post mentioned by the anon from @userdemerda and @creatorizuru below the cut.

Thank you for the compliments.

Tag me in whatever fic you create userdemerda. (I actually went from an anime-only to a manga reader because I wanted to better understand Gojo to write a Gojo/Jogo fic. Part of the reason I started my yapfests was to write a Sukuna/Gojo fic. So I totally understand the obsession.)

This all is the power of Umineko. It's difficult piece of media to get through, but it very much encourages accepting people as their whole self rather than just the bits you enjoy. I really wanted to see all the love Gege put into the characters to better understand them.

On STSG...

Though the dudebros are less homophobic than they usually are with JJK, there are still some that can't fully embrace the queerness a part of Gojo's character. It's really important to knowing how he works. So even if you don't like the ship, you still should acknowledge that Geto is someone Gojo deeply loved.

As much as I like those two together, I would have loved to see Gojo move on in a way where he can carry the loss of Geto more like a charm than a curse. Everyone loves a good tragic first love, but second loves that acknowledge loss are quite rare.

On Gojo's end...

Gojo is one of the most traumatized characters in the series. And since JJK has otherwise done a good job showcasing how people cope with trauma, I can't accept the ending's pacing and tone as someone who has recently started recovering from my own. It's a slog, non-linear, and it takes a lot of time.

When I want Gojo to come back it's because I'm so sick and tired of extremely traumatized characters getting killed off because creators don't know how to handle or even want to depict their recovery process. It really mirrors how people irl will just give up and leave you to rot.

Yuji and Megumi were having a pretty good long-term display of the recovery process right up until the end. One of the things about trauma is you can't ever go back to the way things were. You can try, but it's always just kind of there. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just a thing you accept. Sadly, JJK dropped the ball on that.

Especially with Sukuna. Acknowledging your trauma is the first step. You can't cast it aside and move onto the next life like that. I cannot vibe with one of the other most traumatized characters needing to die to get his recovery process started. He was in denial way more than Gojo. You can't just flip on a dime like that. I wish I could just flip on a dime like that.

And the last point from userdmerda:

"speaking as a person who lives with post-traumatic stress and has big problems healing from the past all i want is to move on and be mentally healthy and i wish so much that satoru could have had that"

That's why Gojo's death and the world moving on like he never existed feels really bad. I think it's because that's often how traumatized people like him get treated irl. You can see the negative response even in the Japanese fans. It's like your worst fears of no one ever really caring about you because your trauma makes you too difficult to be around being realized.

And I decided to discuss that more in depth in this sort of follow-up post. Hopefully you all get a kick out of it.

[verystrxxwberry]

hi there! ok, my request might be a bit strange, but: what would the guys in moonlight lovers be like as modern young people? i mean., knowing the seven adults who are in the age range from 30 to 2380 y/o, their personalities, styles and how they relate to each other, let's change the canon. 8 university students (including MC), living together in a dorm, studying different majors.

what do they study? how do they dress? what kind of young people are they? what are their tastes? i'm intrigued by the youth version of Vladimir, Neil or Aaron in the 21st century. i ask it as headcanons, but if you are more comfortable with an OS, whatever💗!

thanks in advance

MOONLIGHT LOVERS university AU

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: sfw, only routes (except Neil, I have a curse against him it seems…), routes living the 21st century, they’re humans, pics of the outfits, long!! ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: It’s not a strange request! I genuinely found it pretty cool and I have lots of ideas for this. I hope it is entertaining and you like it! I did it in a general way, both in University and also their normal lives in the 21st century, in headcanons.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

AARON

Before going to university, he was just a regular student who passed stuff but without being brilliant at it. That’s fine for him, he didn’t want to get straight A’s but he didn’t want to fail either. He just wanted to do what he enjoyed.

His grades on math, history and sport are effortlessly good, getting all A’s. But that’s why he likes practical stuff instead of those subjects that have a lot of theory to memorize. History is an exception for him though. He likes to learn about past times.

It's canon already that his handwriting is a mess, but not only that, his notes ARE a mess.

When he reached university, he decided to study something that allowed him to be practical and to memorize less theory. This man loves both human and animal biology. He loves animals. That’s why he was raised with a few dogs who he took care of with all the love of his life. So he decided to study in a Veterinary school to specialize to be a veterinary surgeon.

He doesn’t like seeing animals in pain, and more than once during the practices he had to leave the room because it was too much for him to see an animal in pain. 

Aaron is good with animals and has all the patience when it comes to stand the smelly and noisy environments of farm animals (because veterinary surgeons are usually the ones in charge of diagnosing and treating domestic pets, farm animals, zoo animals and horses). He also knows how to keep animals calm and expects to be attacked more than once as they are also nervous living beings.

He had to move from the camp to a dorm in the city to be near that vet school and do his 5 or 6 years of major, which he achieved to do for his passion in healing and taking care of animals.

In that dorm he got really close to Raphael and Vladimir since they two were calm and had a lot of interesting stuff to talk about with Aaron. He also got along with Ivan since he sometimes needed help with math or other subjects (also some life advice). With Beliath things got slightly different and he got a mate to go drink with after work since they worked in the same restaurant for a few months.

To pay the rent and also his own needs he got to work in several places. 

His job career started by working in a restaurant, in which he worked for a few years. The first years living in the dorm he worked with Beliath in another restaurant, as mentioned before, but he decided to change and work in an Ikea after it.

He’s a big fan of music and some mythological literature. And when he gets to see some shows on Netflix thanks to Ethan, he becomes obsessed with Blood of Zeus (same). They all pay for Netflix together, the ones who use it at least.

About music… I hc he likes imagine dragons, hozier, adele, abba and glass animals. He got some influence from Ivan and Ethan and started liking Avenged Sevenfold, even if it’s not the kind of music he’d actually listen to.

He is the taxi driver for Ivan, Raphael and Vladimir. 

He doesn’t use his phone too much, and ALWAYS has the volume on. He doesn’t know how to use social media, only twitter and only because Ivan showed him. He is a dry texter and probably uses the thumbs up emoji 98% of the time.

He has a simple style and doesn't put much effort on it, as long as it is comfortable for him. He doesn't really like colorful stuff to wear.

BELIATH

This guy had to repeat a whole year of high school because he didn't put his effort at all. He wanted to have fun instead, making friends and going to parties, so he skipped classes to go somewhere with Ethan and other people, or maybe he was simply going through a terrible hangover. 

He is the kind of guy who is effortlessly smart but has no interest since he finds studying boring. He is too good at biology and physics though. When he repeated the year, he started getting very good grades at those two subjects because he decided to put in a little bit of effort just because Ethan motivated him. He basically got told “if you don't get a job of something you do enjoy, you will be enslaved in a restaurant and will suffer.”

Every challenge for him is accepted. So he will search for a restaurant or bar to work in to challenge himself. He would meet Aaron there and after it go to get some beers after their night switch.

He worked in a nightclub but got kicked after flirting with his customers. Sigh…

His grades were mainly Bs but he got As on biology thanks to his big knowledge<3.

He got stressed when he had to pick a career and didn’t really have it sure, he just decided to study something related to biology and did deep research to see what was more amusing for him. So he decided to pick simply biology, and then end up working as a pharmacologist, which seemed interesting and not so hard for him.

Still, he did not finish the major because he got tired of the same routine. Then he dropped but begged Vladimir to stay in the dorm now that he found a little family to live with.

He knew Ethan from the same work and thanks to Aaron they both could get into the dorm due to the need of being somewhere close to the universities where they did study.

Beliath loves to travel a lot and whenever he has a holiday, he goes on spontaneous trips to other cities or countries. He definitely has been to Spain, Poland, Finland, Italy, Norway and Germany. He aims to travel further and visit other continents as well. He would love to go to Canada and Australia.

He is a big Lady Gaga fan and has gone to concerts of her. His insta stories were a big evidence of how he yelled and vibed to it. Next day he had no voice.

He also likes Britney Spears, Bad Omens, Melanie Martinez, Michael Bublé, Childish Gambino, Ricky Martin…

He is always calling for taxis, and definitely late to everywhere he has to go.

He is pretty obsessed with his phone to send tiktoks and shit to Ethan. His messages are good to understand, he uses the typical :) and :P, uses lol and lmao a lot and definitely answers to stuff with memes… cringe memes… Ivan teases him for that…

Has a very well organized spotify for each mood of his day. And he has NO shame in putting up nasty ahh songs every time he showers and sing them out loud.

He posts suggestive pics on twitter… yet his instagram is very friendly. He still receives flirty messages from people because he is always handsome in his pics. He posts the worst pics he has of Ethan too though.

He probably has an onlyfans.

Big eurovision fan.

Casual yet formal and attractive.

VLADIMIR

He had to put effort on classes no matter what since his family was pretty strict with that topic. Still, he developed the habit of using his free time to study something so he didn’t forget the topics and he was able to understand the lesson better. He even went to a language academy thanks to his parents, where he discovered a big passion for learning languages. He started with French and then learnt Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, German, Italian… and he definitely knows a little bit of Russian and Arabic.

The subjects he enjoyed the most were English literature, history and language. He got all As except in sport, since he has had a weak physical condition since young.

Deep inside he never wanted to focus all his time on studying, yet he obeyed his parents. He didn’t plan on going to college and he was forced to get into a computer science major since it is the most advantageous university major. But he did NOT like it at all.

Even if in this AU he has grown in the technology century, he still does not like it at all, even if he owns a phone. He owns it, but never uses it. 

Even though he comes from a rich family, he decided to produce his money from a very young age with the idea of being independent sooner. He worked as a dog walker, as a teacher for younger kids that needed help with school, as someone to take care of the gardens of his neighbours… And thanks to this last job, he found out how much peace he got from being surrounded by flowers.

As soon as he turned 18, he moved into a dorm and searched for more roommates so the rent was cheaper and he didn’t have to explode himself that much. That’s how he met the other guys.

He didn’t finish the computer science major, he didn’t want it at all. He changed then into a horticultural science degree which he enjoyed the most and really had him in a good mood instead of studying something he didn’t like at all. During the years of the degree he achieved to open a flower shop in the city! 

It was notorious the amount of effort and excitement he put into his small business, which helped him for the economy. His flower shop is really well organized by types of flowers and their colors, then he has a section for medicinal and legal herbs, and a section of tools for gardening. He also made a catalogue for those spiritual people who believe in the meanings of each flower (and he explained it truly well in there). 

After the major, he went to a small course of herbs and then, once he was bored of not doing anything, he decided to do a major in a literature major, which he also truly enjoyed.

He has gone on small trips with Beliath… and not because he was going to enjoy the company of Beliath, but because he wanted to see the world.

Aaron, Raphael and him traveled to Egypt and enjoyed it a lot. Vladimir received a lot of calls from Ivan because Ethan and Beliath were making chaos in the dorm… He made video calls with Ivan to explain what they did on the day, just like a father-son relationship.

He has a blog where he writes his own self, expressing himself through writing. With this I mean that he posts poems and short narrative stories. He is planning to write a book :). But he also does book and movie reviews! Because he only likes seeing movies whenever Ethan, Aaron or Ivan are going to (as long as it isn’t terror). 

He has his own garden in the dorm and had to argue Ethan a lot to avoid getting weed plants in his PRECIOUS garden.

He likes classical music and jazz, not rock or noisy stuff. He likes Mitski, Amy Winehouse, some songs of beabadoobee and not much from the actual era. He prefers classical playlists that can be easily found on youtube…

Whenever he texts someone, it seems more like a letter from the 15th century than a casual message.

He keeps his style as formal as he can, no matter the context. He doesn't even care if his dressing code seems old for the century, he likes it and that's what matters.

RAPHAEL

As he grew up, he wasn’t a blind kid, so he had the chance to see the world around him and find out his passion for art. He is a person that truly does admire the effort of artists, writers and musicians. So even if everything in school went well for him, literature and art subjects always went good for him due to the extra passion he placed on it.

He begged his parents to get classic books to read and some of them mainly focused on art, finding a true devotion for art history.

He was a big fan of Raffaello Sanzio, getting some of his paintings in his bedroom such as The School of Athens. He also got some paintings to decorate the walls of his bedroom such as The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh, Mystic Nativity by Botticelli…

He really wanted to study art history and be able to teach people about historical paintings. Not only that but he went to an academy to learn deeply about the methods to paint on canvas, since he also liked that kind of stuff. He sold his own paintings for not much money, but simply to get something. He even did some commissions to people around him that needed it.

Raphael has an old twitter account where he posted his art and offered commissions to others.

since in this AU vampires aren’t seen, I’m gonna change a little bit of his canon history. In this AU, the way Raphael got blind was due to a car accident on a trip with his friends, where Margarita was human and she unluckily died. 

He went to university late since he decided to first recover from the emotional shock and the depression he got sinked in. After it he decided to learn braille, and luckily he didn’t find it so hard, so he needed only weeks to be able to read, even if it was at a slow pace. He devoured braille books thanks to this, so it was a plus that he got to finish some books he had on his list since long ago.

He wanted to do something with his life that wasn’t simply reading in braille and being careful whenever he went outside to not get hurt. 

If he couldn’t see and analyze more paintings, thing that saddened him, he could rely on the musician side of him. He decided to focus on his musician side and improve his skills, now that his hearing would be the most developed sense in his body after touch.

He decided to get into a major in music theory and composition, where he was able to express himself thanks to music.

Thanks to Ivan he was able to find out about audiobooks, so whenever he decided to lie down and rest, he heard an audiobook of any book Vladimir told him about. He also listens to podcasts and some of them about philosophy, which he finds truly interesting.

He likes soft music such as jazz, something that is calm and it isn’t too loud for him.

Every time he goes out with Aaron and Vladimir, he takes a grip in any of their arms to not get lost. Then they three go to drink a coffee and talk about some stuff related to their lives.

He is the therapist friend… If you want a school motivation speech, he knows how to give it properly. He is good at teaching other people, listening to them and advice them.

To pay the rent he luckily got to work in a library, which he loved as it was almost always quiet. But years later he got to do his own compositions and thanks to Ivan, post them on some platforms to get money from his effort!

Vladimir would hire him in his shop :3

We know he is a sweetheart, so he gets along with everyone in the dorm, adapting to their likes. Whenever Ethan watches crime documentaries, he listens to it with all the attention.

He owns a phone but doesn’t use it, only to answer the calls of others.

When Vladimir or Beliath go to buy some clothes, he always asks them to pick something nice yet comfortable for him to wear in home. He definitely has the cutest style of all of them.

ETHAN

He is a regular student with regular grades who barely puts effort on it but never fails. He is the clown classmate, and many people can’t stand him, but he is smart. During class he puts attention only on those stuff he finds interesting, which is biology and maths. He dislikes history but is really good at it.

He skipped some classes to go smoke something with his group of friends or to go gossip somewhere with Beliath.

He put effort the last year before university just because he started finding interest in being a doctor thanks to some shows he watched on Netflix. So he was pretty clear on choosing a major in medicine.

And he achieved it! He surprisingly put a lot of effort on it because he wanted to take good advantage of those years. But that doesn’t stop him from going to a party and having an exam the next day…

Still, he was passionate about the idea of being a doctor, so he tried pulling for jobs in hospitals mainly. The first years there was no response, but later he managed to get into a hospital as a clinical radiologist. He often took pics of some broken bones of his patients and sent them to Ivan or Beliath… (ivan is traumatized)

He goes to parties with a black eyeliner which makes him fucking gothic n handsome because he loves it. He isn’t an edgy like Ivan, he is just a low level of punk. He loves to wear rings and a unique dressing code.

He has a spotify playlist with anime openings which he vibes to. And it is thanks to Ivan actually.

Ethan worked as a delivery man for certain companies before being a clinical radiologist, as he knows how to drive a motorcycle. 

Definitely dyed his hair several times.

Loves to take the guys to Finland so they can go skiing whenever they are bored. He loves adrenaline and those adventures which makes him feel it constantly.

He absolutely adores crime documentaries and terror movies. 

He has a few tattoos around his body, and some of them were even made when he went to some parties. He won’t have many tattoos that actually mean something to him.

During his free time he plays some of the games he has on steam, and you can also tell that the soundtrack of any game or movie he likes, will be on his playlist. He has a small library on steam and the games which have more hours are definitely risk of rain 2, terraria and devil may cry. Even though he plays lethal company with Ivan and other friends. He simply pays for those games he knows he will like.

Loves slipknot, glass animals, the neighbourhood, onerepublic… and basically anything that has him humming the melody afterwards.

His twitter is filled with memes and definitely things that will get him into a cancellation thread… he has to learn to shut the fuck up more often.

His instagram is made in revenge to Beliath, where he posts the worst pics of him. He has no fear in posting funny videos with Ivan, Aaron, Beliath and other friends. Even though he got scolded by Vladimir when he heard that Ethan posted a video of Vladimir talking to his roses in the garden and writing on a corner “he’s becoming psychotic”.

Probably opens a youtube channel to post vlogs, paranormal videos in which he goes to explore random places, tasting weird food…

IVAN

He is the kind of student who sometimes puts his effort but unluckily doesn’t get the grade he expected. He isn’t the best student, but he isn’t the worst. He hates the idea of needing the help of others to understand some subjects, but at the end he feels like he doesn’t know anything after studying almost all the noon. 

He was mostly late to class and that was because of Loic and him going to parties as teens (Constance joined most of times, yeah…), so he had hangover most of the times. Luckily that only was his teen years until he met Ethan near his campus and got a new friend group. Even if Ethan dragged him to parties, it was a way more healthy than with Loic and Constance.

His best grades were mainly on language and technology, maths and other shit were much lower than he ever expected. Still, he decided to do something he was more excited about: studying a major in computer science.

Even though the first months he found it difficult to be organized and did see it as a must, he learnt to like what he was doing and he became really passionate about the practical part.

It was currently something interesting for him as he was in constant touch with computers, a thing that he truly enjoyed.

He worked in a McDonald’s to pay the rent, and thanks to his knowledge through the years on the major, he was able to work in one of those stores where you can fix your computer and stuff. He enjoys it and he knows how to set up a computer piece by piece.

Edgy and freaky tastes in music huh. He goes from my chemical romance, slipknot, deftones, mindless self indulgence to The living tombstone, some k-pop groups (I need to make someone like aespa in here, but he also is an og EXO fan), and game soundtracks…

His steam acc is definitely filled with games, and some of them haven’t been touched yet. He spent all of his credit card in most parts of the games… (He is proud even if Vladimir and Aaron aren’t)

He is also an emo with his dressing code. 2010 emo vibes but modern at the same time… Vladimir has to scold him every now and then so he can wear something decent and regular to go to public spaces, but he doesn't actually have formal clothes actually… only the job ones..

He is a big jojo fan. He made Ethan and forced Aaron to watch jjba. He is always talking about jojo references and everyone around him see him as a weirdo -he is-

Bro is obsessed with brawl stars.

His twitter is filled with literally shitpost, just as his instagram. 

He and Ethan decided to share the youtube channel so both of them had the chance to do their craziness ft. Beliath around there. 

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