#easily one of the best characters of all time

[oneoftheextras]

lockjaw | j.t four

masterlist | help me fund my top-surgery?

paring: hybrid puppy!jayce talis x f!reader

summary: after a recent breakup you find yourself adopting a hybrid to keep you company, but he's more feral than you can handle

series warnings: 18+, hybrid jayce (ears and tail), slight a/b/o traits (could argue alpha jayce), eventual smut, protective jayce, size difference

words: 4.4k

chapter warnings: blood, violence, and angst (trauma), not a lot for this one but its got nuggets if you can find them

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five |

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Droplets of scarlet hit the wet pavement under his hands in trickles. The rain tried it’s best to wash away the blood seeping out of the abrasions on his knuckles but it was failing. 

He lifted his hand to wipe away the metallic-tasing liquid that filled his mouth from the split in his lip, and pushed himself back on his knees. 

“Get up, puppy!” the man who’d hit him shouted the pet name with the intent to cause offence. He spat a ball of saliva at him, clearly meaning for it to land on his person, but his inebriated state affected his aim as well as his decision making skills.

Jayce tilted his head diagonally but kept his eyeline to the floor; lips parted as an attempt to inhale the fresh rain-chilled air and calm his growing frustration. It would’ve been refreshing if not for the lingering flavour of iron.

The man, with his companions in tow, continued their approach, “Are you deaf, mutt?” he kicked up a puddle, splashing his already dirty t-shirt with filth, “What’s the point in those ridiculous ears if they don’t work?”.

Jayce shook his head, letting little beads of water fly from his hair, and got to his feet. He noticed how the three pairs of steps faltered for a moment when he’d fully straightened his spine, before they advanced. 

He didn’t want this. All he was trying to do was find somewhere safe and dry to rest for the night and avoid the storm.

“Freak!” one of the men yelled as he lunged forward, a metal pole moved with him like an extra limb, swinging through the air. 

Jayce leaned backwards to avoid it, and the end of the metal skimmed his cheekbone, but didn’t make contact. He used the man’s momentum to push him into the wall of the alley. His head collided with the brick and he slumped to the ground with a groan.

Hold back, don’t hurt them.

Upon seeing their friend get so easily manoeuvred, the other two charged like angry bulls. One tackled his middle section and the other jumped and grabbed him by the roots of his hair.

“You fucking animal!” the one on his torso cursed as he repeatedly punched him in the stomach, while the other shifted his grip to be on his sensitive ears, pulling them until he was hunched over.

He could’ve fought them off, he was physically stronger, but when he saw the crimson streak running down the man’s face - the one who he’d pushed - he knew he shouldn’t.

Hold back, don’t hurt them!

He closed his eyes and inhaled with every strike, it would be over soon. They dragged him to the ground and pushed his face into the dirty puddle that had stained his clothes, the murky water attaching itself to his skin and hair like a fungus.

“Monster!” they spat as they got their last jabs in and left him on the ground to collect their friend, satisfied that he was no longer moving.

Maybe he was a monster, but what else was he supposed to be?

A loud thud shook you awake, your body was on red alert as you jolted from your bed. The room was steeped in darkness, the illuminating glow of the street light leaking through the crack in your curtains was your only source of light.

Blindly you reached for your phone and clicked the button to light up the screen, the eye that was more awake than the other focused on the time; 4:22am.

You rubbed your face and put your phone back on the side, it was too early to be awake yet, so you started to lay back down with an attempt to go back to sleep. However, before your head could fully touch the pillow you heard footsteps from the living room.

For a moment it startled you, the sensation of living alone still second nature, but you settled once you realised it must have been Jayce.

Adrenaline still flowed through you, so there was no chance that you’d be getting back to sleep any time soon. Throwing your blanket off of your body, you stretched and wandered to the living room.

The small reading lamp gave the room a slight orange tint, not enough to hurt your tired eyes but enough to radiate the room with a soft glow. 

“Hey,” you called out to him gently, your voice cracking from the first use of the day. He stopped his pacing when he heard you, and turned to your direction - his hair was ruffled with strands sticking up in places, even the fur on his ears was unkempt.

You glanced down at the couch where the brown fluffy blanket was scrunched up to one side and the pillows slightly torn, their white polyester innards across the couch and some fallen to the ground.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you asked cautiously, trying to ignore how deep the gashes in the fabric were.

He averted your gaze and slowly moved towards the window to observe the street below, his jaw was clenched from gritted teeth hiding behind pursed lips, and his amber eyes were hard and unmoving.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that something had rattled him. It was unsurprising considering he was in a strange place with new smells and sounds; a lot of the forums said sleepless nights were common for the first few days.

“Do you want some tea or coffee?” you stretched again with a groan and started toward the kitchen but waited for his response before fully exiting the room. The ear closest to you twitched and you saw him briefly look at you out of the corner of his eye.

His body language shifted to indicate he wanted to follow, but something was holding him back. “Well, I’m going to make a coffee, you’re welcome to join me if you want,” you left the door open and decided not to push him any further.

You got two mugs out of the cupboard and set them down on the counter, rubbing your eyes with your free hand - the glare of the kitchen light stung - when you heard footsteps getting closer to you.

Glancing over your shoulder and towards the doorway, you watched Jayce enter slowly. He was cold and somewhat unreadable but you could see the uncertainty in his eyes, so you pulled out one of the stools from the island and tapped it for him to sit.

“Come, keep me company while I wait for this to boil,” you gestured to the kettle, “And…” you extended the word and held it until you found what you were looking for. “I got you these-” you placed a wooden box in front of him and lifted the lid, “-just choose one and let me know, okay?”.

The box contained different packets of tea, each divided into their own section and labelled, you’d bought it specifically for him. 

“I don’t know if I remembered all the ones you had back at the sa-” you paused to correct yourself, “-the other place, but I got a few that I thought you might like,” you rambled as you filled the coffee machine with a pod and put your mug under the nozzle, pressing the button for it to start.

He inspected the box; picking up a packet, reading it, sniffing the outside and putting it back into the box. After the sixth sniff test you were starting to worry if you’d remembered incorrectly.

He inhaled one light-blue coloured one and scrunched his face up with disgust - he doesn’t like chamomile, okay, noted.

“Did you know that-” he lifted his attention from the box to the back of your head while you watched the coffee pump out into your mug and spoke, “-No one knows where chamomile tea originally came from?”.

You twisted the mug on it’s podium so the hand was on the right and let the brown liquid slowly fill it, “Well,” you interrupted yourself, “That’s technically a lie,” you chuckled.

“The first documented use of it is in Ancient Egypt for religious ceremonies, you know, the whole embalming the body so it’s preserved for when they meet the gods type of deal,”.

At one point when you were speaking you’d turned to lean against the counter, but your eye line was still watching your mug. He didn’t know why, but you knew it was because the coffee machine would sometimes cut out while pouring and you didn’t want chunks of granules in your drink.

He observed the side of your face, watching your jaw move as you continued, “It was the Romans who started to actually drink it, and then unsurprisingly, so did the Greeks-”.

The machine stopped pouring and gently beeped to notify you that it was done, so you lifted the cup from its platform and continued making your drink.

“-And they largely documented it as being medicinal- Oh!” you exclaimed as you remembered another fun fact, “Did you also know that the word chamomile comes from the Greek word ‘khamaimēlon’, I’m definitely pronouncing that wrong, but it means ‘earth apple’, isn’t that funny?” you stopped rambling when you turned to him to collect whichever tea sachet he’d picked but realised he was staring at you with a blank expression.

You pulled down the sleeves on your shirt to cover your knuckles when you finally acknowledged his gaze. He noted the gesture and wondered why you did it so much.

“Did you choose one?” you timidly asked, trying to act as if you hadn’t just spewed all your thoughts out at once. Noticing that he had a packet in his hand, pinched between two fingers, you extended your palm to him.

However, instead of giving it to you, he stood from his seated position and ripped open the paper with his teeth, wrapping his hand around the empty mug and placing it in front of him.

“I don’t mind doing it for you,” you stepped closer to him, expecting him to move out of the way so you could take over. As if you were both south poles of a magnet and your proximity repelled him; the closer you got to him the further he leaned away - taking the mug with him, and paper still clenched between his canines.

You recoiled your hand and stepped away, a soft “Okay,” was all you could manage before you returned to your cup and gave him space.

He was more isolated than yesterday. His shoulder muscles tensed when you moved too quickly or closely to him, so perhaps it was best to keep your distance until he approached you.

He trickled the boiling water into the mug and bounced the teabag, submerging it under the water and letting it rise again with delicate precision until he was happy with the colour it had changed to.

“When it’s a more reasonable hour-,” the two of you had made your way back to the living room, “-I can show you around town, what’s nearby and stuff, if you want?” you tucked your legs under yourself as you got comfortable on the couch.

The semi-destoryed pillow puffed out more white innards when you leaned back on it, “We should probably get you some new pillows too, but I don’t know if they do indestructible ones,” you chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

The whole time you spoke Jayce stood by the large window, staring down at the barren streets below. He held the mug with both hands, the only visible part being the handle hooked over two of his fingers, maybe you should look for some larger cups for him too?

“Or we can stay inside, I’m not working again until Monday, so I’m all yours for two days!”, he glanced at you out of the corner of your eye and you suddenly felt very small again, “Well,” you cleared your throat, “I have chores I need to do, but you get what I mean,”.

A car revved its engine outside and his attention darted back to the intrusive sound, the hairs on his arms standing to attention, leaving goosebumps across his skin. 

The grip he had on the mug was intense, causing his knuckles to start to lose their colour, “Come sit down,” you suggested, trying to hold some authority in your voice but largely failing.

He regarded you again but didn’t move from his post, instead sipping his drink and keeping his eyes on the street.

He reminded you of a sentinel, ever watching and ever on guard duty.

You turned the TV on and quickly muted until you were able to put on some relaxing meditation music which finally made him turn away from the window and towards the TV.

The muscles in his nose scrunched lightly as the wrinkle between his eyebrows deepened, his eyeline switching between you and the TV, “It’s cheesy, I know, but it genuinely does help,”.

There was a moment of stillness, neither of you moved, just the sound of the music filled the air but the atmosphere was anything but calm.

You pointed towards the bag you’d handed to him yesterday which had been placed next to the TV, “Did you take a look inside?”, he shook his head softly and eyed the bag, “Oh! Go get it!” you shuffled with excitement, picking up your coffee cup and cradling it in your hands.

He hesitated but eventually put his cup down atop one of the coasters on the table and retrieved the bag, “Sit, sit, sit!” you tapped the couch next to you like a child about to open presents on Christmas day, but he opted for the armchair adjacent to you.

Maybe you shouldn’t have told him to sit? It slipped out so naturally, but perhaps it came across that you were treating him like an actual dog? You shook your head, trying to ignore your thoughts and instead focus on him.

He put his hand into the bag and slid the first box out, Clue. He turned the box over with confusion and inspected the back, his eyes sliding from side to side - at least that answered a question about whether he could read.

“Have you played Clue before?” you asked. He gently placed the box on the coffee table and shook his head again whilst revealing more board games; Catan, Monopoly, Battleship, and of course, a chess set.

Every box he studied with acute interest, taking in every picture and word on the print like it was the first time he’d seen it. He glanced up to you from the last one, his amber eyes slightly softer and calmer than before, and the corner of his mouth upturned into a subtle smile.

“We can play now if you want?” you placed your coffee to the side and started to clear the table, he shuffled forward to the edge of the armchair cushion and helped you, “You choose, I'm happy to play whatever,” you encouraged him.

He immediately picked up Clue, seeing as it was the one that you'd asked about and seemed the most excited for. When you smiled, he knew he'd picked correctly.

He ran the nail of his pinky along the seam where the lid met the rest of the box, and sliced through the thin plastic wrapping, pulling it off whilst you moved the last few things off of the table. 

Jayce placed the box on the surface and slowly lifted the lid until it popped off, but let you set up the board and shuffle the cards.

You explained how the game worked whilst he picked up each of the small coloured cones and their respective character cards, deciding which one he wanted to play as.

He eventually decided on Colonel Mustard, and chose Professor Plum for you. 

It took him a few rounds to fully understand the mechanics of the game; roll the dice, enter a room and make a guess. He’d write his three words down on a notepad you’d found for him, and the first thing you noticed was how neat his handwriting was.

It was bigger than yours and slightly slanted as if it were in italics, but almost like something you’d expect to find on a fancy sign.

You won the first few games, "Unfair advantage," you'd commented to reassure him, but as you'd expected, he started to pick up your tactics quickly.

“Rope, Library, and Reverent Green?” you recited what he’d written as his next guess and inspected your hand, none of those cards were between your fingers, “I think you’ve got it,” you smiled at him and picked up the envelope in the middle of the board to hand it to him.

He slipped one of his fingers into the sleeve, the paper bending to the outline of his digit and he pulled the three cards out to see if he was right.

He grinned as he turned each of the cards over, revealing one by one.

Reverend Green. He turned the second card over on the board, Rope. He narrowed his eyes at the last card smiling, his canines poking out from under his top lip; as he pinched the card between his middle and index finger to slowly turn it towards you, Library.

He’d won, again. “Damn,” you looked at the spread of cards, the regal yet smug expression on the Reverend's face, sandwiched between the darker tones of the Rope and Library, “Not a bad way to go,” you muttered to yourself with a giggle. 

Your tone wasn’t lost on him. He side eyed you with a raised brow, his expression unreadable but somewhat judgemental. “Sorry, I’m tired,” you said as you fought the rising heat in your cheeks, and rubbed your face with your hand.

The coffee in your cup had long since emptied, as was Jayce’s tea, but he picked up the cards and started to shuffle them again.

You glanced up to the clock on the wall, 6:53am. The two of you had been playing for over two hours, but Jayce didn’t seem the least bit tired.

He organised the cards, reset the pieces and slipped the three winning cards back into the envelope and started to mix the rest together.

His hands moved quickly, like a man who’d spent his whole life shuffling these cards, but your vision was starting to defocus like a faulty camera. Progressively throughout the night you’d slumped further and further into the side of the couch until you were laying down with your arm propping your head up to see the board.

Jayce handed you your pile of cards and rolled the dice, taking his turn first as the winner of almost all of the previous games, but your one eye that remained open couldn’t make out what number he’d rolled.

The last thing you remember was the clicking of his plastic yellow piece tapping gently against the board, signalling every step his character took. He must’ve rolled a five because you heard five taps, or was it four? It was hard to keep count.

When you awoke for the second time that Saturday, although eclipsed by the dark grey curtains that covered the windows, the sun shone brightly alongside the light trickling of rain. 

You stretched your limbs, hearing a few pops and cracks as your joints woke up slower than your brain; and the brown blanket that you’d left at the end of the couch for Jayce slid off of your torso as you sat up.

A groan left your lips as your spine fully extended and the muscles in your arms and legs relaxed from the tension. You peered towards the armchair but found it surprisingly empty, the large figure that had occupied it mere hours prior nowhere to be found. Even the cushion that normally sat there was missing.

With sleepiness still haunting your vision, you stood from the couch and went to pick up the mugs left on the coffee table. The right hand connected with your cup, which was strangely full with luke-warm coffee, and the left hand found nothing.

As if on autopilot, you shuffled towards the kitchen to empty your mug, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand when you almost tripped on a leg.

Luckily, some part of your occipital lobe was awake enough to notice the limb before you stepped on him.

Jayce was sat on the floor and using the side of the couch as a backrest; one leg bent so he could rest his arm on it and the other - the one you’d nearly stumbled over - had fallen carelessly to the ground and extended in front of him. Becoming the perfect hazard for your clumsy feet.

His head was tilted back and sideways against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids closed with his lashes delicately resting against his skin. His chest rising and falling with every inhale and exhale of deep breath. 

He appeared so peaceful when he was like this, a picture of contrast to his agitated 4am demeanour, but you were confused as to why he was on the floor. Was it because you’d accidentally taken the couch?

You tiptoed over his leg, successfully passing him without disturbance and continuing your journey to the kitchen, when there was a knock at the door. 

The sudden unexpected noise made you jump out of your skin; you were surprised that you didn’t spill the contents of the mug onto the light grey carpet. Thankfully, it stayed inside it’s ceramic container. Coffee stains were a pain to get out of the cheap yarn that the landlords had chosen as flooring.

When you opened the front door you were greeted by the friendly face of your neighbour, “Morning!” you whispered to him as an attempt to maintain whatever tranquillity Jayce had found in your apartment.

“Afternoon?” he laughed back, “Wait, what time is it?” you whipped your head around as if it was even possible to see the living room clock from where you were standing. Instead of ticking hands, you were met with piercing golden eyes staring back at you from the ground. The door was in the direct line of his sight. 

It was hard to break away from his gaze as he got to his feet, “It’s almost 1pm,” your neighbour confirmed, bringing your attention back to the man at the door, “Anyway, I was getting my mail and thought I’d grab yours too,” he extended a handful of envelopes to you.

“Oh, that’s kind, thank you!” you took the letters and smiled at him as if he didn’t do this on a weekly basis, “Not a problem, how have you been?” He put his hands in his pockets and made no gesture to indicate that he was leaving any time soon.

You turned your head back inside the apartment at the sound of a creaking floorboard to see that Jayce was walking towards you and the door whilst stretching his arms above his head.

“I, uh-” you stuttered as you stepped closer to the doorframe and pulled the door with you, trying to hide as much of the interior from him as you could.

“-I can’t really talk right now, sorry, I have company,” you tried to give him the hint to leave. After an already rough first night, you didn’t know how Jayce would react to another stranger within his proximity, and you hadn’t exactly cleared Jayce moving in with your landlord.

“Oh?” your neighbour quirked an eyebrow and smiled at you in a suggestive manner. Whilst you wanted to correct him and explain that it wasn’t like that, you could hear the footsteps behind you getting closer.

You chuckled to him and shrugged your shoulders, “Yeah, can’t keep him waiting,” you played into whatever narrative he had running through his head if it meant he would leave. 

He gave you a toothy smirk and looked you up and down, “Well, at least you’ve moved on,” his comment wasn’t supposed to come across as an insult but the implications stabbed you in the gut.

“Thank you for the mail!” you gave him the falsest smile you could muster after being so brutally and bluntly reminded of your loneliness, “We’ll go get brunch soon and you can tell me all about it,” he whispered to you with a wink before you finally managed to shut the door.

You inhaled deeply and leaned against the back of the door, happy to not be forced into a social situation you didn’t want. 

Jayce had stopped his approach when the door had closed, his nose crinkled up in distaste and his eyes boring into the door as if he could still see your neighbour through it. By that reaction alone, you knew you’d made the right call of not introducing them.

“Mail,” you waved the letters in a circular motion and put them on the table by the door. “I’m sorry I slept in so late,” you apologised, despite being the one that woke up first.

“I propose-” you started as you walked into the kitchen, finally completing your mission of emptying your mug and putting it in the sink to be washed up later, “-We go get you some better pillows, and I can show you what’s nearby, and we can get some lunch while we’re out,” you raised your voice slightly so he could still hear you in the other room.

“What do you think?” you popped your head around the doorframe and found him standing in the hallway as he was before. He opened his mouth widely to yawn; even though he covered his mouth with his hand, you could still see the sharp canines that lined his gums.

He rattled his head as if he was trying to shake away any remaining sleepiness in his body, but eventually nodded in answer to your question.

“Great!” you beamed, almost skipping with joy past him and towards the bathroom, “I’m going to have a quick shower, I’ll let you know when I’m done so you can use it, then we’ll head out,” you tapped the door frame as if you were a judge and your hand was the gavel making the final decision.

You had exactly the lunch spot in mind to take him.

taglist (send an ask to be added):

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[justtheclippy]

Tips and FAQ for Asks

Hello beautiful humans, I want to do my best to get to everyone's asks so here are a few things you can do to help make that happen! (if you're looking for the cast stream master list, skip to the bottom)

Please don't spam the same question repeatedly. I will get to you eventually, I promise! But when you submit the exact same thing multiple times, it just slows me down. I've got one single brain cell, please have mercy.

No spoiler requests. I cannot tell you anything about future episodes, when they will come out, what will happen to certain characters, how the story ends etc. We're limited on what we can say in general until more episodes release. The entire cast has signed NDAs (non disclosure agreement) preventing us from revealing anything, but more than that, we wouldn't want to ruin your experience of watching and engaging with the show organically! Trust me, just enjoy the ride, it's better that way.

Don't take anything too seriously. Please keep in mind most of these answers will just be for fun. My thoughts and opinions on the character, both for silly things like favorite dessert and more serious things like character analysis, are not hard and fast canon. Same goes for any of the actors. We can speculate about our characters, we know and understand them well, but when in doubt, assume its allllllllllllll non-canonical haha

Read through previous asks. This will help prevent asking things I've already answered. I'm going to be tagging (i swear I'll do it fr) my answers with #amanda asks and #tadc asks so you can find them more easily. If you do ask a question I've already answered IT'S OK DON'T PANIC I won't be upset haha

Even though I'll be tagging my answers so you can easily find them, here are a few frequently asked questions just to get them out of the way. If you decide to ask me something I've already answered, or something that goes against the guidelines above, I'll probably skip it, you silly geese.

Q: I've seen people use several different pronouns for you, what are your preferred pronouns? A: They/them and I prefer masc leaning terms generally! I'm queer, NB and very open about my identity. But people will sometimes use she/her because they don't know. I will never get upset with someone for not knowing- it's ok. But now that you've read this, you know! So you can go forth educated. You're welcome to correct anyone who doesn't know, but please be kind to each other. We've all been the person who didn't know before.

Q: What do you think of X ship? A: I love and support all the ships! Ships are part of a healthy fandom, keep creating content that makes you feel seen and that YOU want to see, that's the foundation of creativity. And if anyone disagrees with you, remind them that a lot of classics are just fanfiction about the gods at the time. It's always been here.

Q: What is your favorite ship? A: Bunnydoll and Buttonblossom, because the dynamics are so much fun.

Q: Do you like X AU? A: Yes. It doesn't matter what it is, yes. I love the AUs and if it's a new one, you better include a link so I can find it. I want all of them, thank you so muuuuuuuuch~

Q: Have you seen or played X game/show/movie/meme etc.? A: Always happy to chat about other media! But if you wanna ask about something specific, please include a link or explanation because lets be just so very honest, half the time my brain is off in adhd land so there's a good chance I'll have no idea what you're talking about at first.

Q: Have you watched Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure? A: Not yet! But due to VERY POPULAR REQUEST I will be putting together a watch stream to watch it live with yall. Once that's happened, I'll put the link here.

Q: Have you seen Queen's second game and will you be playing it? A: Yes, we've all seen the trailer and we're very excited! We will be playing it as a full cast, just like last time, as soon as the game is finished. For now, please go enjoy the demo and support the team! Once it's out and we're ready to stream it, I'll post the link here.

Q: Can you come to X convention? A: I will come to any convention that yall want to see me at!

BUT

In order for that to happen, you have to request me directly with the convention. Most will have either a request form on their site or a specific email for requests. Just write in that you would like to see me at their event, and then they will get in touch with my agent to book me!

Q: Can I request a song for you to sing? A: Of course! I promise yall I'll do my best to put out more songs this year. If there's a cover you want me to consider doing, or an artist/composer you'd like to hear me work with, let me know!

Outside of that, if you just want a little clip, you can drop requests in the asks and if I know the song I might record a bit. This is COMPLETELY dependent on time, especially if I'm busy. Please understand ❤️

You can also make requests during stream signings, which is easier to accommodate in the moment. Just put the request in the order notes, and I'll sing a little bit for you while I sign IF I know the song. So choose wisely.

Q: Can I write an ask just to show you cool stuff or tell you you're awesome? A: Of course you can! You can also tag me in stuff, that's ok too. I appreciate all the love and support yall have shown for me, Ragatha and the show in general. Yall are truly incredible. ❤️

Q: Do you have a PO Box so we can send you stuff? A: I'm setting it up THIS WEEK. I will post it here when it's ready.

Q: Where can I find X stream that the cast did? A: Moving forward, I will keep a master list of our group streams in order of date aired, to the best of my ability. If I miss one, let me know and I'll get it on here!

Saberspark TADC Cast Interview

Streamily Signing #1 (Amanda, Michael, Alex, Marissa)

Streamily Signing #2 (Amanda and Michael)

Streamily Signing #3 (Amanda and Sean)

Streamily Signing #4 (Amanda, Sean, Alex, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish)

TADC Fan Game Stream: Game 1

Streamily Signing #5 (Amanda, Alex, Ashley, Sean, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish, Wiz)

Fast Food Simulator Charity Stream (Amanda, Lizzie, Marissa, Michael, Ashley)

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Top 12 Favorite Anime of 2024 (and more)!

We had a lot of good anime in 2024, so here's the list of my top 12 favorites and some bonus great anime as well. If you get tired of clicking the review links, check out my anime overview collection for all of them here.  

(There are a couple anime on here I never gave an official review due to not watching during the season they were airing, and their sections are a bit longer) These are in no particular order!

Delicious in Dungeon (a.k.a Dungeon Meshi)

Dungeon Meshi  is one of my favorite stories period, and easily my top anime of the year. The basic premise is that Laios and his party of adventurers need to travel through a monster-infested dungeon rescue his sister. Rather waste precious time earning money for food, Laios decides they should just eat the monsters they encounter as they travel. But then that simple plot spins off into so much more...

The story combines cooking and adventure animanga expertly. It has some of the most impressive and fascinating worldbuilding I've ever seen, top-tier varied character design and a great plot. It's also funny as hell, and I love its main cast of nuanced eccentric weirdos with all my heart. Even the characters who have five minutes of screen time feel like you could watch a spin-off series about them.

It's not just about food, but the cycle of life and death, about hunger of all kinds, about ecosystems and societies and finding solace in the monstrous...there's a lot simmering under this story!

So, go ahead and eat up! And read my review here for more!

Mayonaka Punch

Canceled YouTuber, Masaki, meets a pathetic lesbian vampire, Live. Live agrees to help Masaki launch a new YouTube channel, but in exchange, Masaki has to let Live suck up all her blood when they reach 100 million subscribers.

 This is the kind of stuff I watch anime for. This is what dreams are made of.

Do you support women's wrongs? Are you craving some women who are loveable shitheads? Do you want a great ensemble comedy about five disaster vampires wreaking havoc and a cynical human along for the ride? This show has all that, plus some down bad lesbian vampire shenanigans! But there's also a lot of growth for the main character, and the show has a lot of pathos in how it explores how the internet and its outrage train can do a number on one's mental health.

It's a ton of fun! See my full review here!

Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc.

Being a magical girl is no longer the domain of teenagers, and has evolved into an actual career dominated by adult women. Kana becomes a magical girl for a scrappy start up company, and tries her best to navigate working life.

It's the magical girl story about adult women I've been craving for years! Magical girl media often explores the struggles of adolescence and growing up, and this show takes us to the next step by using magical girls to explore what it’s like to be a young woman entering the working world. The focus is one Kana struggling to grow her confidence and accept support from her workplace, but it also has a lot to say about companies exploiting their workers, prizing efficiency and growth over actually taking care of their customers, and it shows how the world could be better than what it is right now. Check out my review here for more detail!

Girls Band Cry

After being bullied, Nina drops out school and ends up starting a band with four other girls, including the woman whose music saved her at her darkest moment. Nina's determined for the band to stick it to the people who once looked down on them. GBC features some wonderfully messy and entertaining teenage girls, actually incredible CGI animation and great music. Nina, the lead, is allowed to be angry and obnoxious and powered by spite, but the narrative sympathizes with her and loves her spirit, even if she sometimes messes things up. All the girls have rough edges and raw emotion and a great dynamic with each other. They also flip people off a lot.

It was kind of screwed over by streaming, but don't sleep on it! See my review here!

Natsume's Book of Friends (Season 7) 

Anime's sweetest boy and his horrible cat (affectionate) are back, and it's time for more yokai adventures! I’ve already talked at length about how this series is special–check out my series review/ Rec post for the series here. I also did an article titled The Courage to Speak: Mental Illness and Recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends that goes into more in-depth analysis. The story is sweet and charming and sometimes heartwrenching and very important to me.

It's yet another season of lovely, bittersweet yokai tales that tug on your heartstrings, the characters continue to heal and grow in slow but satisfying ways. It just feels so nice watching this series again and letting the love, comfort, and catharsis wash over me. See my review here.

Dead Dead Demon's DeDeDeDe Destruction

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens have done nothing, not even leaving their ship, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. Meanwhile, two girls are just trying to living their lives.

This anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japanese nationalism and imperialism, American imperialism, xenophobia, mistreatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. That means it's often devastating and visceral, but it also follows some fantastic weird girls and their ride-or-die soul bond, as well as other charming, funny teenagers who are just trying to live in a world falling apart around them. You can also look forward to some plot twists that recontextualize everything you know!

You should also see my review for some content warnings and a really important message about episode order if you want more detail, you can read it here.

Senpai is an Otokonoko

 Makoto is an "otokonoko" ( a term that means crossdressing boy) and he's figuring out his relationship to gender, and hiding his interests from his mother. A girl named Aoi confesses to him, thinking he's a girl. But he reveals the truth, she's ecstatic about it, much to his shock. Meanwhile, Makoto's best friend Ryuji is also crushing on him...

It's tough to be a queer kid in a world full of rigid gender roles and insidious homophobia, and this anime shows the unfairness of that struggle. But it also shows the joy of finding those who accept and understand you, and of slowly becoming comfortable with who you are. The show knows how to make you really roots for these great kids, and it's really good at tugging the ol' heartstrings. See my review here for more!

A Sign of Affection

The anime follows Yuki, a shy girl who's been deaf since birth, and Itsuomi, a world-traveler and polyglot, fall in love. They both live in very different worlds, but as their romance blooms, they're eager to learn more about each other.

A Sign of Affection is shoujo romance at its sweetest, with soft colors, gentle blushes, tender moments, and plenty of warm fuzzies. The animation is beautiful and the show treats Yuki's perspective with care and delicacy as the story goes on. It also have a great focus on communication and consent in a relationship. Read my review here! 

YATAGARASU: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

In this world, people have the ability to shapeshift into yatagarasu, the giant three legged ravens from Japanese mythology. Prince Wakamiya, who's next in line for the emperor, is thought to be an incarnation of the powerful "Golden Raven", so the four women chosen as his bride candidates (each who carry the hopes of their respective provinces) compete fiercely for his hand. Yukiya, a canny young boy, has been pulled into being the prince's attendant, and both Yukiya and the women soon find themselves pulled into a deadly web of mysteries and political machinations.

Yatagarasu is a tightly woven tale of political intrigue, featuring lots of palace folk plotting against each other, multiple assassination attempts, spies, fascinating worldbuilding and use of mythology, well executed plot twists, and complex characters. Yukiya is a very likeable little trickster with a heart of gold, and he works well as an audience surrogate who has to keep up with all this weird court drama. In the first half, the story focuses a lot on on women contending with rigid roles and how that leads to both enmity and empathy between them. But disappointingly, most of those characters are dropped or have their roles reduced in the second half of the anime, which is a shame.

Overall, this anime is a story that hooks you with it's story and it's dark, majestic atmosphere and never lets go. It's just plain good, and pretty underrated, so I'd suggest checking it out!

The Apothecary Diaries (Episodes 13-24)

The second half of The Apothecary Diaries was somehow even better than the first half, crafting a compelling ongoing mystery and delving into MaoMao’s backstory. There were quite a few big thrills that made me gasp aloud. MaoMao, the world's best poison-obsessed detective, pulled off some show-stopping feats and she remains an incredible, endearing character. Especially now that we’ve learned she has a killer evil laugh. Check out my review of the first part of The Apothecary Diaries here and slightly more detail on this run of episodes here.

Dandadan

 Another one you've probably heard of, it's the story of two kids- Momo, who was abducted by aliens and Okarun, who was cursed by a yokai. Now they have to break Okarun's curese while aliens and yokai are hunting them!

Dandadan is an anime bursting with absurd action and humor, and it has a boppin’ soundtrack and amazing animation from Science Saru. It’s wildly weird in the best way, and the characters are hilarious lovable losers. It's also the rare example of a battle shonen that actually treats its female lead as an equal to her male partner, in screen time and in battle. I adore Momo with all my heart- she's fun, she's bombastic, she's badass, she's everything.

However, the main problem I have with the show is its pattern of putting Momo in sexual peril. I go into more detail about this and the show in general in my review here.

Train to the End of the World

 A story about four girls and a dog traveling across a weird, warped version of Japan to find their missing friend, Train to the End of the World is wild. I absolutely adore bizarre anime about equally bizarre girls, and this delivers. We see the girls encounter a cult with mushrooms growing out of their heads, screaming goatmen and even zombies on their journey. The dynamic between the different characters is great, and the dialogue is snappy. If you appreciate wild and weird zaniness that also has a lot of heart and great friendships, give this show a try. My full review is here.

Bonus Anime- some other stuff you might want to check out!

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

Despite an extremely goofy title Cherry Magic quickly became a surprisingly grounded, thoughtful and heartfelt BL romance worth watching. See my full review here.

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy!

Rishe has lived seven lives, had lots of adventures, and in every single one of them, she has been killed as result of the world war started by the emperor of a neighboring kingdom. Each time Rishe dies, she's sent back to the moment the crown prince of her own country broke off their engagement (she's actually pretty happy about it). But in her seventh life, the future Emperor sees her, is instantly smitten by how cool she is and proposes to her. Rishe decides she might as well enjoy life chilling in the palace before things inevitably go to hell.

7th Time Loop has a fun conceit, and it features a vivacious, badass heroine who's a joy to watch. Having lived as a commoner in most of her past lives, she's ready to use her smarts to help people--whether it's going undercover to help a maid who's being bullied or addressing illiteracy among the servant girls. Whether she's beating up kidnappers or politically maneuvering, she's learning and growing and kicking ass. While her love interest is a bit too broody for me, I do deeply relate to how Rishe's badassery clearly turns him on. The antagonists and plot are sometimes a bit silly, but it's always a good time. A josei anime about an awesome gal is just what the doctor ordered.

Acro Trip

A silly show about a magical girl fangirl who's recruited to an evil organization by an incompetent villain,  Acro Trip is a lot of fun, and I recommend it to any magical girl enjoyer. I also recommend it to anyone who loves pathetic failguys and girls. Our "villain" Chrome is the most hilariously pathetic of them all. You like bad boys? Well this man is literally bad at everything. See my full review here.

Whisper Me a Love Song

 I have to give a shoutout to the only textual yuri anime that came out this year--it's production basically completely collapsed, but it's still watchable and the story is a sweet and solid girl band romance. At least consider giving the manga a shot if nothing else! See my review here!

[torchship-rpg]

Dev Diary 19 - State of the Union Part 1

It’s been a while, cosmonauts, but we’re back at it. This last week has been an incredibly productive one for Torchship, solving a ton of longstanding issues holding up the Alpha, and digging back into the art.

But you’re here for the mechanics, and boy, we have some pretty cool ones for you this Diary. Today we’re going to be talking about the meta-campaign and the core of what drives a multi-episode run of Torchship; playing not just to encounter little morality plays out in the stars, but to find out how the resolution of those issues changes things back home.

To be clear; this is campaign mechanics, and long campaign mechanics at that. You can play short campaigns and one-shots too, but we want to write a game that’ll hold up to truly epic campaigns, or sequential campaigns if you ever wanted to do Torchship: The Next Generation.

Your campaign can take you a great many places, but all of them revolve around one question:

The Star Union & Representative Agents

As we’ve mentioned before, the players are not just playing the crew of their spacecraft as they go trekking around the stars. That crew is the product of a society, and when the players are out making decisions in the stars, we assume that similar choices with similar reasoning are being made by the people back home.

For that reason, players get to have a lot of influence over the direction of the Star Union both through their actions in the actual episodes, and through decisions and votes they hold over what the Star Union does. This isn’t actually their characters deciding what’s happening unilaterally; it’s the assumption that your crew are, in a sense, the median voter. When the players decide to invest the Union’s resources into a certain upgrade path or project, this represents the Union’s population settling on that course of action for all the same reasons the characters would make that decision in their place.

For this reason, while you can be many things in Torchship, you can’t really be a rebel. If you try, you will be part of an enormous rebellious movement that will very quickly become the new authority and now you’re right back to your day job as a government employee, looking wistfully at your old leather jacket as you file a T-18 Use Of Telemat Report.

I can already hear your protests that you want to be a bold iconoclast that strikes out in defiance of the norms of society. I regret to inform you that you want this because it is a norm of your society to be a bold iconoclast striking out in defiance of things.

It’s The Economy, Stupid

The Star Union is mechanically represented with its own character sheet and its own stats; changing that sheet over time is your job. It’s relatively simple, with stats primarily acting as ways of gating your access to the cool upgrades that improve your capabilities, make your rocket better, and get you shiny new toys, but it matters a lot.

At the end of every Episode, you go into a mode of the game called Resupply. This quite literally represents the time passing as your rocket flies from one star to another, usually taking about one week before arriving at the next planet/on the television sets of households across the nation.

Resupply is a portion of the game which can be resolved immediately after the start of one episode or before the start of another, but one of the best ways to do it is during the time between your play sessions; it’s designed to be something easily hashed out over chat programs and the like. We’ll go into more detail about what you do there and how in the future, but the important part is knowing that this is when the Union’s economy starts mattering.

The Union has two sets of Economic stats. The first contains just a single stat, Productivity. This is how many Credits the Star Union generates at the end of each Episode because it has a bunch of factories and farms and stuff. Productivity is difficult and costly to increase; you can do so by starting Projects, with the amount of time and Credits required varying depending on what kind of Project it is. 

Getting infrastructure in place to exploit a rich belt of Very High Rotation asteroids for the valuable quark nuggets inside is a relatively quick and cheap project; it just requires you the players to find and secure such a resource. By contrast, building up Production through modernization and expansion of existing industrial capability is slow, hard work that will take multiple episodes to complete.

The second set of stats is the Infrastructure stats, covering all the stuff that production is used to maintain. These are Social, Technological, Military, and Redundant Infrastructure. Respectively, this is the Union’s standard of living, how shiny and new its stuff is, how big Star Force has gotten, and how many warehouses you have. You increase all of the stats by paying into funds for them, investing your Credits when you have a surplus until you’ve paid them off.

For the most part, these are used to gate access to upgrades; if you want that shiny new laser, you need to get Technology and Military Infrastructure to a certain point first. Redundant Infrastructure is the odd-man out; it doesn’t really give you access to many new Upgrades, but it has a vital function we’ll get to in a second.

Every point of Infrastructure costs 1 Credit per Episode to run, and at the start of the Campaign, the Star Union is overextended; it’s trying to take on all the costs and responsibilities of being the leading power of Local Space while simultaneously managing an enormous humanitarian crisis partially of its own making, and integrating a large number of refugees from the aforementioned enormous humanitarian crisis. Infrastructure will be higher than Production, and that means the balance has to be paid by none other than the Star Union’s exploration, diplomacy, and prospecting service.

That’s you.

This difference is called your Union Dues, and it's very important that you pay them. If you fail to pay, you’ll have to roll on the WHOOPS I FORGOT TO PAY THE POWER BILL table. Regrettably, this is not its final name, but it is what’s in the document right now.

You might think that this isn’t too big a threat; you’ll just always make sure to save up enough Credits to pay your Union Dues even if you have a bad Episode. That’s where we smile maliciously and tell you that you can’t. Societies don’t typically like sitting on huge amounts of surplus production and not using it on things that people want and need, so for that reason, the amount of Credits you can store between Episodes is limited by your Redundant Infrastructure. You know, Infrastructure you also have to pay for.

If your Dues aren’t out of control, you aren’t running too many Projects that you don’t want to fail, and you’re not burning your expensive consumables, then yes, you can usually meet your Union Dues no problem using the banked Credits from Redundancy. But a streak of bad episodes or out of control spending can send your campaign into a death spiral. The good news is that eventually, the Star Union will contract until it reaches equilibrium, either voluntarily or through terrible rolls.

The bad news is that the Star Union will contract until it reaches equilibrium, and you live in the Star Union! And so do a great many people who are going to have opinions about that.

Speaking of…

Getting Political

The Star Union is more than just a series of economic stats. All the people those stats represent have hopes and dreams, and more importantly, they have voting power on local councils. Being a direct democracy, the Star Union has a tendency to undergo pretty seismic political shifts very quickly when circumstances change, and any good campaign is going to have a lot of Circumstances.

To represent this, we use a series of Movements. You may remember us talking about these way back, or rather an earlier version of them; we’ve since expanded how they work and set up a system which allows them to exist alongside others.

So… let’s meet a Movement.

The Centralists are the Leading Movement at the start of your Campaign; they’ll be largely unopposed for the moment, but the Civil Anarchists and the Neo-Trotskyites are waiting in the wings and can join them in a coalition fairly easily.

What that means in practical terms is that they have the highest Power Rank at 5. As both a Major Power and the Leading Power, the Centralists give you two passive effects. Their Major Power bonus relates to Stability, which we’ll talk about in a moment, while their Leading Movement Effect is the benefit you get for being at 10-12 Unity on the Unity track. You’ll remember that from Dev Diary 15; that universal rule is actually just the default you get from these guys being in charge!

They also have a Taboo, which represents a value of this Movement, the violation of which discredits their influence; it’s stuff that makes them look hypocritical or disgusts their followers. For the Centralists, that’s failing to keep Promises made to groups in negotiation; their reputation is built around being the trustworthy and reliable ones that follow through on their deals.

Here’s some examples of other Movements’ Major Power Effect, Leading Movement Effect, and Taboo:

Progress Triggers

Movements advance in Power Rank by gaining Progress; that’s what is tracked on that neat little circular dial. At the end of each Episode, you go through the Triggers for all the active Movements and add Progress based on which ones got done. As a Movement rises in Power Rank, the Triggers are reduced in strength proportionally; at Rank 5, the only Trigger which actually gives the Centralists Progress is bringing new Members into the Union. Don’t worry, though; they have another means of keeping power.

You’ll notice that the 4 Progress trigger, Focus on Fundamentals, triggers when you miss Union Dues. A lot of Movements have triggers like this; this is where we put the stuff that the Movement specifically believes they’d do better. So when the Centralists are out of power, they get a boost from the economic mismanagement of whoever is, but once they have influence in government, failing to balance the budget isn’t going to work in their favour.

By extension, lower-value triggers tend to be things that drive or revitalise a weak Movement, while high-value triggers are triumphs or threats that validate them, either mobilizing a weak movement with a victory, or cementing the authority of a strong one.

For another example, here are the Neo-Trot Triggers. You can see how their lower triggers, the first ones to fade, are the relatively small fundamental issues that form the emotional foundation of the Movement; the Neo-Trots won’t be irrelevant so long as we keep finding planets ruled by jerks and evil computers, and their quest for increased military spending grows more pressing every time a Star Patrol rocket limps back full of holes.

The #4 trigger here ceases to help the Neo-Trots once they take power; it’s expected of them. Both the Centralists and Civil Anarchists get this trigger at 5 instead, which creates an interesting contradiction; once they’re in power, winning battles empowers their rivals because, through victory, they are making themselves obsolete. If they keep winning their fights, why do we need to shovel more resources into Star Force?

That’s why their highest triggers are stuff that give them more material power directly instead. Producing and distributing weapons increases the size of those sectors in the Union’s economy and bureaucracy, increasing their influence, while a war breaking out mobilizes the economy and places all their experts in positions of authority. This also, of course, gives them an incentive to keep arming people and fighting wars once they’re in power…

Stability

Each time an Opposition Movement (that’s any Movement which isn’t the Leading Movement) goes up by a Power Rank, it prompts a Stability Check. You also have to roll Stability Checks if you fail to pay your Union Dues. This is pretty simple; Stability is a number from 0-6 representing people’s faith in the current leadership of the Star Union. You roll 1d6 for each Stability Check; if the result is above your current Stability, the Leading Movement loses 1d6 Progress, potentially sliding back to lower Power Levels. If that happens enough, they’ll be displaced as the Leading Power.

Note that passing Stability Checks has an effect; each test you pass lowers Stability by 1. Fortunately, restoring Stability is pretty easy; every Credit put into the Social Infrastructure fund raises Stability by 1, and incidentally also gives the Leading Movement 3 Progress. 

So basically, the Leading Movement can have whatever ideologically it wants, but once it's actually in power, it only stays in power by raising people’s standards of living, though it does benefit from a slow decay of everyone else’s Progress. If the Centralists spend the entire budget on giant golden statues of Yuri Gagarin, then they won’t be in power for very long, and if they really screw it up… well, that’s what Crises are for.

Endgames

Each Movement has a number of Endgames; the five major movements all have a sort of soft ‘win’ condition that cements their power in some way and makes a lasting change on your game. For example, Federation-Builders basically cements the Centralists’ power for the foreseeable future by having them make good on their promises, and in the process gain a new and fiercely loyal following.

Well, I say soft win condition; they aren’t always.

A ‘lose’ condition deactivates or disempowers a Movement, representing the movement breaking apart, being thoroughly discredited, or otherwise losing their ability to carry on. For the Centralists, the only thing that’ll knock them out of the game is the Cybernetic Democrats actually getting their wild experiment off the ground and fully implemented, which is a huge and expensive Project.

How severe these lose conditions are will vary. Some movements will be outright destroyed, either instantly or by fading out, but others are more resilient.

Finally, we have the Crisis. Crises are triggered if Stability hits 0, and they’re bad. The most survivable ones prompt multi-episode arcs in a mad scramble to save the Union; the worst functionally end the campaign. The Centralists being in charge when the state they build fails means that it all comes apart in their scramble to save it; the cordial competition for the future of the Union becomes a shooting war. This might be where you end your campaign, or it might be where you throw in with another Movement and try to win it for them!

Many Crises will be internal…

… but not all of them.

Expanded Movements

The five core movements we mentioned before are all primary Movements, with a full set of triggers, effects, and endgames. Each of them represents a potentially valid direction for the Union that you, as players, can choose to back or suppress. 

However, the nature of this system makes it very easy for us to add new Movements to the game. Most of these Movements are Minor Movements, with reduced triggers and rules which are usually single-issue and whose Endgames are simplified and easier to hit. Minor Movements don’t cause Stability hits when they gain Power Ranks and can’t take the Leading Faction slot, they can slot easily into a ruling coalition without breaking things, or fade once their purpose is achieved.

For an example, if you integrate the Nariene into the Star Union (either by defeating its current government or making an alliance that bypasses that; we’ll be talking about them in the next Dev Diary), you get the very pressing Minor Movement “Nariene Green Movement”, which is clamouring, quite reasonably, to have their planet saved from the runaway greenhouse effect they’re under. They’ll gain power quite quickly with triggers firing based on the Union’s economy growing, and once they hit Major they’ll mandate the funding of their Project. Once their homeworld is saved, their endgame is triggered and the Movement fades, leaving you with a nice permanent bonus as everyone in the Star Union gets a bit better at reducing, reusing, and recycling.

Not all late-joining Movements are Minors, though; some of them can very much become the Leading Power and change your game accordingly.

Finally… not all the Movements are intended to be viable paths forward. Movements can emerge in dire circumstances, reflecting adverse pressures, but they can also come out of your actions as Star Patrol, if you feed the worst impulses of the Union and give material power to bad actors.

Which is why you don’t start your campaign with five moments. You start with six.

[hwnglx]

dating enhypen hyung line pro's & con's

based on tarot. i don't know these idols personally. energies are always changing. everything i state is for entertainment purposes only, alleged and NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

pro's

will make you the brightest star of his life -> i can just see his life circling around pleasing you

your existence will just matter to you a lot

he's an extremely perfectionistic guy so he'll rarely feel satisfied and therefore put consistent effort into making sure he's being the best boyfriend he can be for you

he literally wouldn't live up to his own expectations towards himself and disappoint himself if he found himself being unfaithful or doing you wrong

wants to make his partners feel secure when they're with him, like he's their comfort person and safe space

sees his lovers as someone he can learn from -> wants to grow, improve and transform into his best self through dating his partners, as well as also become a source of support and help for them himself

almost like bonding through their wounds, perhaps even sharing similar past experiences so they can offer a sense of mending and healing to each other

i really don't see much of an ego here, in fact he's almost too overly modest and humble

heeseung is the type of boyfriend will dim his own light if it means you will shine, honestly

i thought of a line from stray kids' song “i am you” where changbin says “i can become darkness if it means you will become brighter” (fun fact they're both virgo venus')

has a very calming and soothing type of energy and presence in his romantic relationships

i just keep seeing him sit there with his soft gaze strictly focused on his partner's eyes all the time, gently stroking their hand and quietly humming “mhm”s while attentively listening to them talk and take in every word

very interested and curious in getting to know his partners in a detailed and thorough manner

will probably remember most things about you too, even the more trivial and simple things like.. the perfume you wore on the day you met, just things you probably wouldn't expect for him to remember

con's

his perfectionism, unrealistic standards and amplified romanticism can easily set himself up for disappointment, not only towards himself but also in regards to his lovers and his relationships

he tends to have this idealized view of love and approach his romantic connections with such high expectations that things not living up to that (which often is inevitable since relationships can't be perfect all the time) can quickly dishearten him

i also see him being contradictory in a way where he does want to grow and learn through the connection but at the same time, he can struggle with criticism and negativity

might not want to hear out your advice at times because to heeseung, it can feel like you rubbing his mistakes into his face, which he doesn't enjoy and can get afraid of

he's just really worried about messing things up

can get obsessive and overly invested in the relationship

i just see him being this lover who can suffocate his partners to a degree because he's so eager to make sure they're content and please them all the time

he reminds me of this guy i dated who had similar placements and he kept being so immensely alert and attentive to all my needs that it just felt.. overly smothering at some point (i know some people might like this though, depends on your character)

no lie, heeseung's and jungkook's energies are strikingly similar in a few ways. the idealization of romance, overthinking, immensely high standards causing quicker disappointment, issues with handling criticism due to their perfectionistic tendencies. they could relate on some levels.

heeseung seems like a good guy; i truly see his energy as one of the best in enhypen. though this could be subjective. his intentions read as pure, and coming from a selfless place.

jay

pro's

has this pleasant energy to him where being with jay feels very comfortable, cozy, warm and relaxing

a boyfriend who loves spending the more quiet and intimate times together with his partner

will love displaying this source of calm and rest for them

i see him really enjoying to cuddle under the sheets, in front of the fireplace, with lit candles, wine, soothing music, softly holding you in his arm

a very sensual and indulgent lover too, he just loves making his partners feel good in every sense of the word and wants to heighten their enjoyment

physical touch & quality time are his likely love languages

quite good at figuring out your personal boundaries and remaining respectful and mindful of not crossing them

he's the type to hold himself back in the beginning stages and stay polite but once he's got a good understanding of how deep he can push your buttons, he'll love to initiate some playful debates and arguments

dating jay can feel like you're dating your best friend

he brings a lot of happiness and laughter into the lives of his significant others

a lot of playful bickering and fun times

i just saw this scene of him strolling through the furniture store with his lover and them fighting over which colour plates they should buy for their new house lmao

another insight i constantly get for him without fail; this man genuinely loves the idea of marriage

though i don't see him being ready for it at all at this point in time, jay does enjoy the thought of a more traditional relationship and domestic life

extremely protective over his lover and their relationship

will always defend you and your name fiercely

or e.g. protectively get you to walk on the other side of him, if there's a busy road next to you

quite territorial too, jay wants his lovers to himself and is ready to fight and glare off anyone trying to access them

just heard “nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you'll be with me, you'll be just fine” (song by cas)

con's

mainly focused on himself; including his own dreams, desires and wishes, especially in terms of his career, his work and his money -> i don't see him having much room for anyone else right now

might feel like letting another person into his life in a more serious and committed manner could cause an unwanted interference rather than an enrichment

i truly don't see him enjoying the thought of compromosing or being restricted by anyone right now

tbh, the energy is pretty selfish, and more surface-level here.. i currently don't see jay getting into relationships for true love, but moreso for what they can do for him

and also for what the relationship looks like; on the outside, as well as on paper

very practically minded in that sense, i am not getting an actual emotional attachment to his partners for him

definitely has his workaholic tendencies; might put himself and his career above the relationship with his significant others if he doesn't see the two aligning well

i also see jay easily getting caught up in materialism and putting too much value on superficial things like money, possessions, status, etc.

he can get a little stingy if he feels unappreciated, or the connection is too onesided (like he's constantly the one buying the gifts, preparing everything and his partner doesn't bother to do their part)

immensely stubborn and “my way or the highway”

can be quite rigid and inflexible, as well as reluctant to give in, or adapt and adjust himself to anyone

tbh, the energy was interestingly different compared to what i got from him before. though obviously, people and their preferences, habits, etc. change all the time through various experiences. which is the case especially for enhypen, since they're so young and still in the midst of maturing and developing. this non-committal “i'll do whatever i want” energy strikes me as more of a stage or phase for jay as of right now. might change within a few months, who knows.

jake

pro's

immensely flirty, romantic and charming boyfriend

naturally brings a lot of butterflies and excitement into the lives of his partners in that way

i just see him being a hugely smooth talker, making his partners blush by flattering them all the time

almost in this love-bombing way, where some people might (playfully) tell him to shut up at some point while blushing embarrassedly and he'd love that sight

comes alive in romance; loves everything it entails

being in a harmonious relationship is something he desires a lot, so there's this grateful and proud feeling of “you're literally making my dreams come true”

would maybe even tell you you're his dream

emphasis on him being immensely sweet and loving with his words, there's definitely a poetic side to him too

will not only find his home in you, but become your home (offer you a sense of warmth, familiarity and belonging)

very calming and soothing listener

everytime i read for him, spirit tells me there's something about his voice and the way he looks at you, that just has the potential to calm you down immensely

jake is someone who can go through a lot of inner turmoil himself, so he can often find himself wanting to comfort the people he's close to, especially his lovers

a lover who's very.. “don't keep it all in, talk to me, i will listen, and i will try my best to help”

he just genuinely wants to make you feel cared about

also very witty and funny though, i see him provoking and poking his lovers a lot just to get a reaction out of them

a lot of sarcasm mixed into his teasing and humor in a way that just riles you up; jake will love seeing you annoyed and find it very amusing

i do see him trying to make it up to his partners too though, like giving them a kiss and apologizing (he's a very playful push and pull type of boyfriend)

con's

likely to not be very reliable, he can often be more talk than action, and not always stick to what he preaches

can be very moody, unpredictable and overly sensitive

does want a relationship that goes deeper (i can sense jake literally craving it since he can feel empty very often) but can opt to run away as soon as he feels like it does, especially because the intimacy can scare him off

vulnerability can make him uncomfortable -> to jake, it can feel like someone has insight into his true soul and sees him for everything that he is, including the flaws and blemishes he himself deems as unlovable

easily sees his wounds, pain and insecurities as something people would judge him for, which is why he rarely allows people in that closely

just.. really desires validation, a stroke of his ego and admiration and can quickly be under the impression that his more “raw” self isn't worthy of that

i heard the lana del rey song “will you still love me, when i'm no longer young and beautiful? will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?” (again.. wow, i remember getting it for my ideal type reading too)

i see jake's insecurities and unstable self-esteem making him a person who feels offended and hurt more quickly, which can lead to him becoming sharp, offensive and cutting with his words as a defence mechanism

i heard “hurt people hurt people”

can easily feel mistrustful which can lead to forceful and controlling behavior -> can experience issues allowing you your freedom out of fear of you moving on

jake kept giving me this feeling of “i want to find a person who can make me feel like i'm at home” i just kept hearing the word “home” continuously.

random note, i also thought of australia and his mother a lot, she comes up in almost every reading for him

for the pro's, the knight of cups fell out together with the four of wands, and the way it fell gave me the image of jake (knight of cups -> scorpio sun) seeking for this feeling of belonging and arriving home (four of wands) like he finally found the person who gives him the warmth he's searching for.

two of the following cards were the star and the nine of cups which gave me.. “thank you for making my hopes and wishes become reality, thank you for staying with me.” the reading was quite moving, tbh. i didn't expect that.

apparently, he is a scorpio stellium with an aries moon in the eight house, so.. phew. yeah. makes sense. jake is a bunch of intensity and emotions wrapped into one human, literally. he feels and senses everything three times as deeply as others.

his sun does fall into his fourth house too though, which explains how closely he ties himself to his family, and the meaning of home. he really craves a safe space.

sunghoon

pro's

trustworthy, committed and loyal boyfriend (probably number one in enhypen right now) -> he just won't find much interest in other people once he's with his lover

sunghoon is picky anyway, so once he's with someone, he firmly stands behind his decision and won't be the type to just allow his impulses to ruin anything

an insight i get again and again; he likes the idea of a connection that blossoms slowly but substantially

isn't the type to rush or jump from lover to lover but moreso approaches his relationships in a mindful manner

will spend a good amount of time getting to know you thoroughly, i see him studying people quite carefully

if he decides to date you, it's because he sees you as the person for him -> not the type to put on a show or play deceitful games with his partners, he's a serious lover

puts genuine effort into making sure the relationship is based on a stable foundation of trust (very important factor for him!) and mutual feelings

meaning, he'll make sure you know you can trust him but also find ways to truly figure out whether he can trust you

the type of boyfriend who wants to grow together with his partner, go through various different cycles together and continuously deepen the connection as time goes on

i do see sunghoon believing in fate and destiny, he can be quite intuitive in that sense

i heard “tell me all your secrets” and “tell me something you've never told anyone else”

sunghoon will want to be the one special person who's allowed to know you in and out, better than anyone else

wants to enjoy this subconscious, profound and unique connection with you in that way, like no one understands you the way he does and vice versa

i especially see him wanting to be the one to know about e.g. your struggles, you might not tell everyone about

like he's your person, the one you'd trust with your life

keeps the relationship very private

i just see being in a relationship with sunghoon as this experience where, being with him can feel like you're the only two people on the world; it's very intimate

he will quite literally be tunnel-visioned on you whenever you're together and naturally make you focus on him too

though i do see him enjoying experiencing different things together with his lover, this silent but powerful connection and communication is likely to still be present, even when you're amongst a crowd

like this.. one moment of eye contact between the two of you, can already tell the other person what they're thinking and feeling, type of dynamic

con's

can have the habit of naturally holding himself back a lot and therefore store a lot of his worries inside

this man can overthink and overanalyze much more than you'd think, but many of his partners might not even figure that out since he's very good at disguising it

i keep feeling so chilly inside while reading for sunghoon, it's almost like.. once he gets to this place of overwhelming and inner stress, he often turns cold

tends to rationalize his more “negative” emotions since they can get confusing and too much for him otherwise

but he also doesn't enjoy confronting his lovers with them at all, out of fear of causing disharmony, or laying himself bare in this vulnerable or “weak” state

genuinely doesn't want to burden people, especially his significant others, with his own inner conflicts but can also have issues processing and finding healthy outlets

so he's likely to, either distract himself by focusing on his own desires and endeavors away from his significant others (like his career and work), or generally withdraw and isolate himself from them in order to somehow cope

i also see him potentially struggling to empathize and understand other people's standpoints at times

sunghoon does tend to look back at himself and reflect on his own behavior a lot, so he can get caught up in this feeling of “no but i did everything right, everything is fine, i don't understand why you'd be this way”

it's this frustration of sincerely wanting to understand you, but just not always being able to, which can result in him turning distant, stiff and detached emotionally

i also see some potential judgemental and overly picky tendencies in terms of superficial things, like appearance

maknae line coming very soon! stay tuned <3

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Jan 24th

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1. Any fics that have wwx coming back and lwj is the lan sect leader?

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2. hii itmf a fic where there is acknowledgment or focus of the fact that mxy's body is smaller/younger than wwx's original would've been! same idea as All Technicalities by DummyDiplodocus like an outsider pov of it like jc or the juniors. or lwj noticing it! doesn't necessarily have to be the focus btw just like it's there. tysm!!!! :)

a tide in two seas by occultings (microcomets) (E, 80k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parallel Universes, Modern with Magic, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Established Relationship, Mild Horror, Case Fic, mildly sci-fi, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Married Couple, Love Confessions)

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3. I'm in the mood for wangxian fics where lan zhan is struggling to come to terms with his love of pretty clothing and femininity/or some repressed gayness/internalized homophobia. Explicit fics generally preferred but I'm not picky. Thank you!! @pussyaside

~*~

4. Are there any wangxian fic where nobody believes they are married it could be modern setting or any anything else

Marital Claims by yeolinski (M, 5k, WangXian, Lawyers, Established Relationship, Marriage, Married Life, Accidental Marriage, the juniors are interns, nobody believes they're married basically)

~*~

5. Hello! ITMF Fics set pre-Sunshot Campaign where it is just the teenage characters being young, dumb, and having fun. It could be the Cloud Recesses study arc or an au teen arc. Bonus points if Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang are besties and dealing with teen crushes (LWJ). I just want something light and fluffy where all the characters are happy, please! Thank you so much!

🔒 The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn’t like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

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6. Hello! 👋 for the next itmf id like a fanfic in which lwj is talkative with wwx, but ONLY with wwx. Or, if that’s too specific, a fic that shows the difference between how lwj behaves with other people and how he behaves with his Wei Ying.

Thankssss :D

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7. Hi! ITMF some 5+1 fics

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8. Hi! For ITMF, I am looking for well-written fics where WWX goes through qi deviation (I've read Twelve Moons and a Fortnight). Thanks! @kesterling

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9. Hello! Have you got any pre canon fics as in after Wei wuxian's death, lan wangji's grief(ofc one need not ask for that specifically it'd always be in a fic) and his relationship with lil A-yuan(and other lan disciples) Ik it's not totally wangxian so perhaps I shouldn't ask for it, but I don't know where else to ask and I couldn't find anything myself. I wanted to read it cause the way juniors admire him in the main book, it's so heartwarming and enough to show how good lan wangji was with them. So yeah if you've got anything...

❤️ To be of use by Erisette (Not Rated, 53k, WangXian, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, LSZ is an angel, LJY is the best of brats, Cloud Recesses, Seclusion Lite(TM), Everyone under 20 at Cloud Recesses worships Hanguang-jun, Fluff, Hanguang-jun is the coolest, Worldbuilding, this is not sad tho even though it's set in the time jump, the fluff-to-sads ratio is v high, Mojo’s post) This is one of my favourite fics

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10. Thanks so much for all your amazing work!! For the next itmf, can I have some delicious angst with a happy ending based on misunderstanding. I just really love the docs where lwj reads wwx all wrong and is a jerk and then realizes the error of his ways. Especially if he isn't so subtle about his opinions and disdain. I just require a happy ending. Also not a fan of wwx forgiving too easily. He deserves to have lwj grovel or suffer a little, too.

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11. Heyo, are there any Wangxian fics where its actor Au? Like the who mdzs plot is actually a show and the actors are all friends/couples or actor au where they act in stuff and its really dramatic and Wangxian is also dramatic? Please and thank you and I hope you have a nice day or night😁 @yasssbassss

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12. Hello, could you please help me find fics where WY is ashamed of his scarred and malnourished body during cloud recess period or in modern au (where no lost core or war happened, only Jiang family)

Thank you!

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13. Do you have any Lan Xichen focused fics without xiyao? :) <3

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14. Hi I was the confused newbee i think im doing this right 🙈. I have a kink for fics with wei ying's frist time with a guy is Lan Zhan. Could you plz help me find some long fics like this. I don't have any other preference in what the fic is about it can be a fix it/retelling/time travel etc any thing will do as long as Lan Zhan is his first male partner.

I hope i did this right🙈🙈🙈😳 @wangxianbff

a tide in two seas by occultings (microcomets) (E, 80k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parallel Universes, Modern with Magic, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Established Relationship, Mild Horror, Case Fic, mildly sci-fi, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Married Couple, Love Confessions) link in #2

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15. Hi! I’m in the mood for WWX and JC not going to back to Lotus Pier while occupied by Wen. JC doesn’t lose his core. WWX doesn’t get forced into an alternative cultivation method. Any ideas? @hairybeardtongue

Wei Ying & Jiang Cheng don't return to Lotus Pier in these because Jiang Cheng injuries Wei Ying so I'm not sure if these fit really: 🔒 Bright Voice Roughly Rendered Softly Silent by Preludian_Staves (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Muteness, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Not JC Friendly, Confessions, Angst, Choking, Red String of Fate, Appearances by Paperman WWX, Inventor WWX, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Goes to Cloud Recesses, Feelings Realization, Caretaking, Supportive Lan Family, Genius WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective Lan Family, Character Death (not wwx or lwj)

Obscuring the Sun by Karmiya (E, 24k, WIP, WangXian, WWX & WN, the sunshot campaign, Past Domestic Abuse)

The River Brought You Here by ChilianXianzi (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV Outsider, Amnesia, not JC friendly, Past abuse, Strangulation, Found Family)

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons) Jiang Cheng returns to LP on his own in this one and is imprisoned by the Wens but doesn't lose his core

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16. Hello! ITMF Wei Wuxian cultivating a new golden core? Not modern, please. Thanks everyone!

💙🔒Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

Discarded by teawater (E, 187k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it’s not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

Overcome by thunderwear (E, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, First Time, First Kiss, Feelings Realization, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Idiots in Love, Fix-It)

Practical Considerations by teawater, the_anthropologist (E, 97k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Spouses to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Politics, Scheming, Lán Elders are assholes, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, eventually BAMF LXC, learning to make decisions, Learning Self-worth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sweet Wangxian, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, JC is a big asshole, he improves somewhat but it's open-ended, WWX learns to stand up for himself, POV WWX, POV LWJ, POV JC, Golden Core Reveal, Teacher WWX, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WWX Protection Squad, Feelings Realization, WWX protector of the twin jades, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Protective LQR, Demonic Cultivator WWX, WWX is Loved, Married WangXIan, Genius WWX, Everybody Lives)

Sunder by naqaashi (E, 32k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Mutual Pining, Emotional Sex, Porn with Feelings, PWP, Light BDSM, Fix-It, POV LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Light Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal Thoughts)

the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

~*~

17. Hello! Im in the mood for A/B/O mating run fics either Lan wangji or Wei wuxian are the alphas thankyou! @lunamooonn

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[weepingmoontragedy]

A different engagement story

I’m new to everything about dc but love all superbat ships so I got an idea . Sorry if the characters aren’t correct or my poor English ( English is my second language) .

Bruce and Clark have been dating fore a wile now . Selena and Lois have been helping them cover up their relationship fore resonances. The 4 of them decided that the best way to cover up a relationship is by 2 fake ones. But one day Bruce and Clark get engaged and decided that it’s finally time to tell there family’s. A dinner is arranged to be held at the manor but som of the batfam members will not be attending fore the reson that they already know .

Alfred was the first one to know . Bruce can’t keep many secrets from Alfred , and there’s no way that a relationship is slipping past Alfred . Shortly after that ma and pa Kent after finding out that Clark was dating someone they made Clark introduce him to them . Casandra easily red Bruce and Clark’s body language to find out that there was something more than friendship between them. Cass told Stefanie bc there’s no way she’s not going to tell her gf . Selena let slip the secret while battling bat woman.

But how Duke found out was probably the funniest. Duke had just moved in to Wane manor and was quite new to the family. So one day he forgot his phone in a study. Realizing this a bit before the others went on patrol he walked to the study hearing Bruce and Superman’s voice from the inside talking about som mitigation but he stopped playing attention before he was at the door. He didn’t hear what they said .

Clark : Could you stop distracting me ? Bruce: How am I distracting you exactly? Clark : How do you think I’m supposed to be able to focus when someone as good looking as you is sitting next too me . Bruce: Clark. Clark : What ? We have been in here for a while no one will see . Bruce: Just because we have plans to tell them doesn’t mean that I want them too walk in on us. Clark : I’m just to fokuset on you… you look way to good to se or her anything else… ( starts starting intently on Bruce’s lips). Bruce: your way to ….. ooo… sunshine… please stop staring at me like that. Clark : (gives puppy dog eyes and then continues to stare at Bruce’s lips).

Bruce leans forward and Clark and Bruce engage in a passionate kiss.

Duke steps in to the room and is shocked by what he sees . Clark and Bruce freeze looking shocked up at Duke .

Duke: I… I just need to get my … phone ( gets phone then runs as fast as he kan back to his room )

Duke later asked Alfred about it .

The supers and bats that don’t know are going to be there ( and Alfred that is on filming duty fore the people that know)

So the families come together and have a normal ( as normal as it can be ) meal . At last the big thing. Bruce and Clark stand up and start explaining how they were engaged( or at least they tried)

Jon : No!.

Clark: what do you mean no ?

Con: ya I’m with Jon on this one no .

The family start arguing about which one of them are going to be aloud to get married . And everyone was keeping their relationship’s A secret . Now everyone is shocked to find out that Barbra and Kara had been dating fore years. That Damian and Jon weren’t just best friend’s . And that Tim, Conner and Bernard were in a relationship and had been perfectly attracted to the otters so that one didn’t become the 3 wheel.

And while all this is going on Cass, Steff, Kate and Duke are waiting everything by Alfred’s reckoning.

[luvingspence]

headcanons | ryohei arisu

author’s note: i started aib and ohmygod this man, smut hc’s are definitely ooc but i just need him so bad so i’m feeding my own delusional.

warnings: nothing much, just my first time writing smut hc’s😭

synopsis: pre-borderlands hc’s! also this is LONGGG, i have too many thoughts.

not proof read

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ pre-borderlands

♡ he’s a loser, you know it, he knows it, his friends know it, and his father definitely does. but it makes him all the more endearing.

♡ he’s so, so nervous at first, but once you both grow more comfortable in your relationship he’s giving into your every wish, genuinely at your beck and call. you’re his whole world and he just wants to make you happy <3

♡ he’s a little gamer! mainly pc (unfortunately, i’m a ps5 girly) but he knows his stuff. definitely uses emulators to play games like resident evil and the last of us.

♡ he prefers online shooters and stuff, but he doesn’t mind story based games if they’re more action based, like re4.

♡ i think he’d prefer a girlfriend who doesn’t mind video games (or loves them like him) so you can play together and talk about games :(

♡ would definitely emulate it takes two on both his pc and yours so you could play together, it’s such a cutesy little couple game! you guys would have a blast playing together! :(

♡ if you had a console best believe he’s using it for at least an hour every time he’s over, won’t admit it’s better than his PC but you both know it’s what he’s thinking.

♡ loves it when you sit in his lap while he plays :( and you love it too.

♡ arms wrapped around your waist as he rests his controller on your thighs, chin on your shoulder as he plays, but he always gets distracted, giving you the attention you want so easily, kissing your neck gently, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs and hips as he whispers in your ear.

♡ i can’t imagine he uses pet names often, if he does they’re classics like ‘baby’ and ‘babe’.

♡ “Baby, you wanna hop on call for a bit?” he texts you at least once a day every night you aren’t together, he ends up screen sharing a movie or show you can watch together.

♡ is also a boyfriend that makes you watch him play i’m so sorry but he just is. you see him rage far too often over COD.

♡ loves it when you call him ‘honey’, just does it for him.

♡ he’s a nerd so that definitely extends to different parts of his life other than video games, when you go shopping you always end up browsing new posters, figurines, and mangas.

♡ AOT is my favourite anime/manga so i’m gonna hc that it’s his too! ;)

♡ his favourite character is eren. without a doubt, just thinks he’s so cool, and absolutely loses his mind when he sees him turn into the attack titan for the first time, “Babe! Fucking look, that’s so cool!-“

♡ thinks you’re so pretty. while girls loved karube, the same couldn’t be said for him. in the show he’s in his 20s so i won’t say he’s a virgin, but definitely not super experienced.

♡ just can’t believe he has a girlfriend as pretty as you, no matter what you look like, goth, emo, a girl who loves to dress up and wear makeup, or if you prefer dressing down he thinks you’re so stunning.

♡ “you’re the prettiest girl ever.” (literal heart eyes)

♡ “your makeup looks really nice, baby :)”

♡ *stares at you in the mirror while you brush your hair.*

♡ “baby can you play a game with me, i’m bored :(.”

♡ dates are super lowkey! but you both love it that way.

♡ walks in parks, cinema dates, shopping dates, lazy days on the couch or in his bed watching movies are the most common ones.

♡ he does splurge on an actual restaurant for anniversary’s and valentines and your birthday with whatever little money he has.

♡ dresses up on those days too! He’ll wear a plain black shirt or white button up (whatever is more appropriate) instead of a graphic tee and some nice jeans or black slacks (he steals them from his brother.)

♡ for gifts he also keeps in lowkey, and so do you! you both can’t afford much so you just appreciate what the other gets you.

♡ he gets you little figures and posters he thinks you’ll like, or plushies! if you like makeup he’ll splurge a tad and get you a nice lipgloss you said you’ve been wanting.

♡ is definitely a boyfriend who gets gifts catered to your interests and things you like rather than buying you stuff he thinks all girls like.

♡ just over all very thoughtful, sweet, and very very handsome even though he refuses to believe it.

♡ pre-borderlands smut hc’s

♡ isn’t a virgin, but not experienced. one or two bodies before you i’d guess.

♡ let’s talk abt his dick 🤭

♡ he’s above average, but not insanely big. 6 inches, decently girthy but not so much so that it would hurt. it’s so pretty. a perfect size, two toned, a few veins and perfectly straight.

♡ i see far too many people hc him as a sub, but i honestly don’t see that, he’s neither and doesn’t have much of an interest in power dynamics

♡ you’re his equal, his baby, why would he wanna control you in anyway? :(

♡ such a titty guy. he is’t picky about size, but loves the way yours sit so pretty.

♡ soft pecks slowly grow into heated and lustfully heavy touching above your clothes, his big hands and lithe fingers shyly manoeuvring under your top. Inching their way up your soft flesh, they always find your breasts, caressing them gingerly as he softly loves on you.

♡ positions are nothing crazy, he loves classic missionary sometimes, just staring into your eyes, watching your face contort as you whine and moan. god you just look so good.

♡ but he also loves prone bone, getting you on your stomach, sliding himself in, slowly, almost torturously so. he fills you to the hilt, groaning into your ear softly as your bodies press together, sharing their warmth. he props himself up on his elbows, thrusting into you gently and slowly. he wants to savour every moment. without a doubt, he always brushes your hair away from your face, putting a large hand under you chin to crane your neck around to him, kissing you slowly as he fucks you into the mattress.

♡ bro LOVESSS head. like so bad. he loves giving, of course, he’s never been much of a ladykiller, so knowing he’s able to please you drives him mad.

♡ but he’s always down for you to suck his dick. he prefers laying with his back propped against the headboard, letting you work away. with a hand gripping your hair, or caressing the back of your head, and his other hand behind his own head, his mouth agape and eyes fluttering closed.

♡ on certain days, he thrusts up into your mouth, but poor boy always ends up feeling a bit bad :(

♡ ohgod and his fingers.

♡ long, lithe, slender. his hands are dexterous, soft and not overly calloused. anytime he uses them on you, he has you laying beside him whilst he leans over you, pumping them in and out, his thumb giving all it’s attention to your clit.

♡ the dirty talk is light, just filled with praise and light teasing

♡ he’s just too soft with you, he could never degrade you in the slightest.

♡ “attagirl, baby.”

♡”doing so good f’me.”

♡”you look so pretty, baby, my pretty girl.”

♡”makin’ me feel so good.”

♡ and just strings of curses as he praises and loves on you

♡ he’s just too good to you :(

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Random Headcanons (18+)

Dark Leonardo x reader

A/N: Heheh, I needed some dark turtles, so I decided to throw a few headcanons out there💙🖤

All characters are aged up.

Warning: Mentioning of rough sex, pubic sex?

With Dark Leo being a kanabo clone of Leonardo, he was of course like Leonardo in many ways. And so was he when it came to his sex life and sexual desire. But just like with everything with kanabo DNA, it had a darker twist to it. While Leonardo would be described as passionate, the best word to describe Dark Leo would be; intense.

There was almost a possessive nature surrounding him, whenever he got to be on top of you, with his large frame pretty much cutting out all other views around you. It was almost like he did not want you to see or notice anything other than him, as if you looked away from him, you would disappear from his grip, and he simply could not let that happen. Not when he finally managed to find out what it actually felt like to love and be loved.

But while sex wasn’t the most important thing on the original Leonardo’s radar, Dark Leo always found it to be in the back of his mind. The thought of him and you, with your limbs wrapped around each other, even long before the two of you first got together. It wasn’t a straight up fixation, but it was definitely something that took up space and time in his thoughts. Leo liked to think it was the kanabo part of him that gave him some more spice than his counterpart. And spicy he was.

You liked to joke that Leo was your possessive sex demon. It could easily get rough and wild, with Leo almost becoming animalistic in his behavior. Well, one half of him was a mutant turtle, so that wouldn’t be too strange. But there was this dark possessiveness that you really enjoyed seeing in Leo. It was something in his eyes, as he pounded into you mercilessly, just about to grit his teeth. It was truly something.

Where Leo’s counterpart would only have sex at places, where he felt like he could control the environment, knowing that he and his partner would be safe, Leo didn’t care too much about it. In Leo’s head, he believed that he had control of any sort of environment, in the sense that he would be able to counter any sorts of danger that suddenly would appear while the two of you were getting at it. In other words - Leo would fuck you anywhere at any time, whenever the two of you felt like it, not giving two shits if someone walked in. But he would definitely make sure that they would leave again, without him even having to pull himself out of you.

[milkymora]

✧ arcane women - childhood headcanons ✧

note: got a little emotional while writing this but what can i do. missing arcane like a mf. everything is sfw obv, cts of pictures used to their respective owners on pinterest. characters: vi, jinx, caitlyn, mel, sevika.

⟢ vi.

vander always listened to old rock songs. it was the same 4 ones on repeat, one of them being “god of thunder” by kiss. he’d exaggerate his singing just to make her laugh, and it always worked, until she learnt the lyrics as well: blowing, together, felicia’s eardrums.

felicia understood vi liked girls when she was 5 yo. how? simply because the little menace vi was, would suddenly go quiet, shy and a little red even, when met by a girl she thought was cute. she would talk quietly and try to befriend them by timidly sharing her toys, just to go to her mom later on and tell her how pretty her new friend was.

she always included powder when she went to play with other kids. little pow was always the youngest and sometimes the other kids would be mean to her, because she didn’t understand games rules and couldn’t play well. however that’d happen only once, because vi wouldn’t allow it a second time.

⟢ jinx.

used to get sick so easily. always with a runny nose, a fever or cough. vander would spend hours cooking recipes for her; and he would always manage to make them taste good and look appetizing, chopping veggies in star or heart shapes, or adding anything that could make it look cute to a child’s eyes. and it worked! she would always eat it.

she was very scared of the dark and struggled to sleep some nights. that’s when vi would tell her bed time stories she’d create on the spot, or sing her their mother’s lullabies, until she’d fall asleep.

when she was learning how to write, she’d exercise writing little love letters for vander and vi. though she would always spell vander wrong, writing it “vinder” because she’d get confused, mixing the two names.

⟢ cait.

she had all kinds of toys, from dolls to mini, plastic shotguns. cassandra absolutely hated the latters, however there was no denying little cait adored playing with them way more than the dolls. she would always annoy her with it when she was working.

she didn’t really have any friends growing up, aside from jayce. she was either studying (yes, she was home schooled) or training her shots with older enforcers. she didn’t mind being alone, but when jayce became her friend she realized how good it was for her. jayce allowed her to vent a lot, about anything.

cassandra was always overprotective of her, mainly showing her tough love and giving her restrictions on basically everything, yet... there were a few times where the two of them had tender moments, like when caitlyn playfully wore her mother’s wedding dress for fun and cassandra actually got so emotional she teared up.

⟢ mel.

always a quiet girl, with her nose buried in her books. historical ones precisely; her mother made her passionate about history, telling her all kinds of fun facts about the places she’d been at, making her curiosity bloom into a desire for knowledge of the past that made her devour hundredths of books during her childhood (and teenage hood).

another passion she had was art. as we’re shown on the show, mel can paint. that’s because she’s always done it since she was a child, one of the many things ambessa wasn’t fond of. nevertheless, her mother’s disapproval never stopped her from continuing her hobby, that is one of the things that make her feel best when doing it. ambessa ended up giving in and actually enjoying her works, finding a way to get one and put it on her chamber’s wall.

had an amazing relationship with her brother kino. both him and her were very similar, interests and personality wise, so it became a habit to find comfort in the other when one was not feeling okay. they always knew which words to use.

⟢ sevika.

she was actually pretty timid as a child. she hated fighting and seeing others fight, which was why she’d always run off when it happened. and, unfortunately, it happened all the time. for that reason, her childhood had been pretty harsh and she suffered a lot because of it.

but there wasn’t only bad times. although she wasn’t close with her father, she got along with her mother just fine. they had lots of loving mother-daughter moments, cooking together and doing each other’s hair. her mother would often compliment her eyes, “you have your father’s eyes, with my face”.

she would always help other kids. the ones she thought were deserving of it of course, helping them when they’d get hurt for a reason or another or simply keeping them company if their parents weren’t around. it’s one of the reasons she’s well known in zaun.

i hurt my own feelings writing about sevika but oh god, there are no freaking canon infos about her past it’s unfair. gosh i love my babies so much. stick around if you’d like more arcane content pretties, i’ve got plenty more in store for ya >:).

✧ arcane navigation. ✧

[faewrenbird]

Homicipher Theory

Mr. Gap: The Homicidal Stalker

Disclaimer: This is all just my own interpretation and speculation. This is not negative or an attack on the character. I love Mr. Gap for being the worst of the worst. He’s sickening and awful and makes my skin crawl but in the best way that horror fiction can manage.

That said, Trigger Warnings: Mentions of stalking, sexual assault, serial killing, and cannibalism

Also

Homicipher spoilers/Mr Gap ending spoilers

-

If we go by my pre-established theory that the Ghost Apartments are a haunted grounds where an apartment building was built over the ruins of a hospital and collapsed subway, then we must assume that it’s haunted by ghosts from many different time periods. I believe that ghosts like Mr. Crawling and Mr. Hood are among the oldest, original haunts. Ghosts like Mr. Silvair and the nurse are from the hospital time period. Some ghosts are from the subway collapse. And some, like Mr. Gap and the Bride, are more recent, from when the apartment building still had occupants before its abandonment.

Mr. Gap is a rather unique entity among the ghosts. He’s the only one who can be anywhere at any time, can easily shift between the real world and the spirit realm, and clearly understands that he is a ghost.

But why? What makes him special?

I fear that the answer may be an unsavory one...

Mr. Gap

Mr. Gap is the second entity we can meet once we wake up with control of ourselves in the Ghost Apartments. Moments before we meet him, Mr. Hood gives us a warning. He tells us to be careful, there are dangerous entities out there.

Ignoring his advice entirely, we interact with Mr. Gap. And since we don’t know the language yet, we’re very likely to smile at him, resulting in our first swift death of the game via getting our heart ripped out and eaten.

The best thing we can do in early game is to ignore him. When he asks for a body part, step away. Later on, we can interact with him more directly, but initially, survival means not flashing him our pearly whites.

It becomes obvious early on why he’s called Mr. Gap. It’s because he…well, he only exists in gaps. He’s not a roaming ghost, he appears to be bound by the walls of this ever-changing building. But wherever there’s a hole in the wall, there’s Mr. Gap, peering out from between strands of greasy hair with one eye.

Every time we interact with him, he requests a body part from us. Heart, arm, leg, head…and he means this literally. If we consent (or even just smile at him) he’ll devour whatever body part he asked for.

But he can be helpful. While being chased by Mr. Hugeface, we can desperately ask him to get us out of there and force ourselves into a vent with him. He agrees to take us to safety, though not out of the kindness of his heart. He always wants something in return. Fortunately for us, he settles for just some of our hair this time.

There is never a time when he’s not trying to weasel something out of us. Even in his own endings, he bargains and pleads for our heart.

Now, you can easily interpret this to simply mean that he’s some sort of mischievous spirit. Evil in the eyes of humans, but more of a representation of chaotic neutral yokai. Certainly, some of the entities in the Ghost Apartments bear loose similarities to yokai. And the tropes of bargaining and trickery go hand in hand with these sorts of myths.

Personally, I lean away from that reading because the game actually doesn’t seem to use very much in the way of Japanese yokai myths. I dug deep trying to drawn comparisons for each of the ghosts, but they were loose at best. There seems much more evidence that the ghosts are, as the name implies, actual ghosts of humans who died here, rather than spiritual entities.

And if that’s the case, it begs the question: Who was Mr. Gap? How did he die? Why does he haunt rather than move on into the afterlife?

I feel that the imagery of his character makes the answers obvious. The game takes place in an apartment building where Mr. Gap lives in the walls. I think that’s a direct reference to his life before death.

I theorize that when the apartment was inhabited, Mr. Gap was a man who crept through crawlspaces and inside of walls in order to spy on women. I believe it can be interpreted that he also lured, abused, and killed those women.

“Mighty hefty accusations, Wren. Where’s your proof?”

No proof, only evidence from my own interpretation to support the claims! I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to interpret his character, this is just mine!

Exhibit A - Living in the walls. Again, this seems the most obvious and on-the-nose point. He quite literally lives in the walls and is bound to spaces with gaps. But he also has an apparently innate ability to navigate the ghost apartments no matter how much it shift and changes. This could allude to how he had the internal structure of the apartment building perfectly mapped when he was alive.

More importantly, he only makes himself seen through holes in the walls and gaps like vents. And we know he’s watching us at all times from those very gaps. This is a direct reference to him being a peeping Tom. Even the other ghosts seem to recognize this, as we can get a humorous scene of Mr. Silvair taping up a hole in the wall so that Mr. Gap can’t look inside.

Exhibit B - Self Awareness. This is the most fascinating aspect of Mr. Gap, in my opinion. Most of the ghosts we meet seem fragmented or confused. If they know what they are, or were, they don’t show it. They seem to understand that there’s an “other” place, but not really the distinction between life and death.

Mr. Gap, however, outright knows and brags about being a ghost. At one point, he shows us old newspaper clippings with a photo of three women with censored faces standing in front of the apartment building, with Mr. Gap in a window behind them.

He can, and does, travel between realms. I assume this is possible because he’s bound to spaces within the apartment, but not specifically spaces in the spirit realm. The apartment is his cage, not the spirit realm itself. Because of this, he’s perfectly capable of peering out at modern day strangers walking by on the street and in the alleys. Also perfectly capable of haunting the old building and keeping its property value at a hearty zero.

But what does self awareness have to do with him being a criminal stalker and killer? Well, I think that he’s afforded these sort of rule-breaking abilities for one main reason, which brings me to…

Exhibit C - He’s a psychopath. No, I’m not using the term colloquially. I mean that truly, by definition, Mr. Gap is a psychopath. To be more accurate, by today’s definitions in the DSM-5, he would have Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), characterized by a lack of empathy, disregard for others, and deceitfulness (*ASPD is more complex than this, please do not take this as a statement on the disorder which is characterized by much more than these three things).

If this seems like a stretch, I invite you to look at the three endings you can get at a particular point in the game, all involving Mr. Gap.

In this unfortunate decision path, we manage to escape the Ghost Apartments. However, by this points we’re too far gone to be able to live among normal society. Not only has our memory been warped by the ghost realm, but our body is unrecognizable and grotesquely inhuman. We know this based on the reaction of the first person we ask for directions. He panics at the sight of us and flees. We are, for all intents and purposes, the rotting Michael Afton parading about as a normal human while looking like a decaying zombie.

At this point there’s only one person left who can help us. Mr. Gap. Since he’s the only one who can cross between worlds. But even at our darkest and most vulnerable moment, is he going to help out of the kindness of his heart? No, of course not! In fact, he takes it as the perfect opportunity to ask for our heart again, the same way he did the very first time we spoke to him.

We have three options. 1, give him our heart. As expected, the ending is the same as the beginning. He kills us and eats our heart. 2, refuse to give him our heart. He’s disappointed, but leaves us alone. We wander down the alley but don’t get far before we pass out. And then…Mr. Gap takes our unconscious body and, wouldn’t you know it, eats us anyway.

In the third option, we give him someone else’s heart. We kill a random person and deliver their heart to Mr. Gap instead. He’s not exactly pleased but he did make a deal to bring us back, so he reluctantly drags us back into the apartment.

Sadly, while Mr. Gap is able to cross realms at will, he can’t bring us across. Instead, it seems he just brings us inside of the abandoned apartment. We don’t fully understand this though, which seems deceptive on his part. Sure, yes, he brought us back as promised. But not to where we wanted to be.

Now, it’s just us and Mr. Gap. Of course, he keeps begging for body parts. Except now, we have the chance to ask him why. The question…confuses him, even seems to irritate him. “Why?” What reason does there need to be besides that it’s fun?

Honestly, this interaction was bone-chilling to me. By no stretch of the imagination does Mr. Gap view us as anything more than a shiny toy (that was how I felt about it here at least).

I believe it’s this callousness that acts as his superpower. Unlike the other ghosts, he doesn’t have any emotional attachments preventing him from moving on to the afterlife. There’s no particularly strong thing keeping him here. He’s not repenting (Mr. Hood), he’s not in a cycle of suffering (Ms. Blue-Clad/Mr. Chopped), he’s not obsessively invested in his life’s purpose (Mr. Silvair). He’s just. Having fun.

I think this is a carry-over from when he was alive. He had no particular reason for stalking and killing beyond the fact that it was fun for him.

Because of this, he’s not trapped in the same way as the other ghosts. He’s actually quite content to cross between realms and peep at women who wander by. And if he’s real lucky, someone will get close enough to snatch.

Exhibit D - The Newspaper Clippings. What’s so special about them apart from the clear fact that he’s bragging about being a ghost? Well…I don’t think that’s all that he was bragging about. This old clipping includes a picture of three women with censored faces standing in front of the apartment. Victims, perhaps? It’s quite common for serial killers to keep trophies or memorabilia of their kills. Taking newspaper clippings reporting on the crime is actually a big one.

Exhibit E - Cannibalism. Now this, I believe, could be either literal or metaphorical, or a combination of both. When he was prowling and murdering women, did he actually eat them as well? Maybe. Or maybe the afterlife cannibalism is metaphorical, depicting him as a predator, with us as prey. The symbolism of flesh eating is violating, as well, and his biggest interest is in eating our heart. This could line up with a common delusion among stalkers, in which they believe the object of their delusions is in love with them.

Exhibit F - Sexual Assault. You may think this is a stretch and it’s bad enough that he could have been a serial killer and I’d agree with you. But I really think there’s enough here to at least suggest that he included sexual assault in his modus operandi. For one thing, he was a peeping tom, unquestionably. That’s the whole point of the holes and gaps that he peeks out of. This suggests sexual motivation for his actions. Then, there’s the possible symbolism of cannibalism meaning that he’s a predator. And, as also stated, when he brags about being spotted as a ghost, it’s on a newspaper clipping with only women, which lends credence to the idea that he stalked and spied on them specifically.

And lastly, the biggest evidence I have towards this point is in the Return Ending. At the very end, he makes his finally appearance under our sheets. This imagery feels intentional and deliberate. We lift the sheets and see him essentially between our legs. We dismiss him as being a prankster, and this ending concludes with him suddenly lunging from under the blankets with a wicked grin and hands outstretched to presumably harm us.

And that’s it. Fade to black.

To me, this reads obviously as a reference to assault. The stalker is in our bed, between our legs, and leaps to violently harm us.

We know that Mr. Gap doesn’t have a body, only arms and a face. So, this action appears to be simply a reflection of the actions he performed when he was alive. OR there’s also the possibility that he lied to us, and he does, in fact, have a body. I wouldn’t put it past him.

-

So, is it possible that Mr. Gap really is a reflection of some of the worst parts of humanity? Maybe. Or maybe he does love us, or he is just a mischievous yokai. I like the thought that he's a monster who gets away with it because everyone views him as an irritation rather than a real threat. Even if I'm way off base, he's still a totally fascinating character due to his uniqueness among the other present entities.

Honestly, serial killer or not, who would say no to a face like this?

[charmingradiobelle]

So I’m new to your blog so I have some questions based on a few posts: What’s your stance on Vaggie? Are you not looking forward to her sexy song with Charlie? Why do you prefer Charlie’s with Alastor? I’m not judging you it’s more like I avoid ship wars because this fandom is draining.

I don’t usually respond to questions like this anymore because of all the hate I’ve received this past year or so. But you know what anon, since you’re new and I can tell you’re trying to be respectful, I’ll give in one last time.

To answer your questions in order;

I’m personally very neutral on Vaggie. I have many complaints on how she’s written and her relationship with Charlie, but her just as character herself, I’m just sorta ehhh? Don’t hate her but I don’t like her very much either. If she were taken out of the show I wouldn’t feel anything at all, but she’s here to stay so that’s fine by me.

No I am absolutely not looking forward to that. For several reasons, but I’m trying to keep this brief. The main thing I don’t like is this is clearly a sad attempt to give the main couple chemistry that they lacked in the first season. But sex isn’t going to solve that. If you have to make your lead protagonist and her girlfriend have a literal sex-fest on screen to get people to root for them as a couple, then you might need to consider another career besides writing.

There are many reasons why I prefer Charlie and Alastor over any other ship, but I’ll keep it simple. They’re each other’s mirror: a reflection of what they could be if they’d chosen another path. Alastor is a menacing power-hungry sadist who command authority, something the princess of Hell could easily be if her heart were any darker. Charlie is bright-eyed energetic ball of sunshine who sees the best in every situation, something Alastor could’ve been had his life turned out differently (we don’t know what led to him becoming a serial killer but I imagine it’s something traumatic). They are completely different in these aspects but they are so similar at the same time and it’s so intriguing to see how they balance each other out. Alastor literally holds himself back from killing people because of Charlie (he would’ve absolutely killed Pentious in ep2 had Charlie not been so kind and welcomed him in).

To sum it up, charlastor is such a fun and engaging ship in general and in my opinion it feels like a huge wasted opportunity to not make them each other’s love interest. I watched the pilot 5 years ago having absolutely no knowledge about these characters whatsoever and the second Alastor showed up and started interacting with Charlie I genuinely thought they were going to become lovers😭

Anyway I hope this answers your questions well enough, anon! If you’d like to discuss some more I’d be happy to, as long as the conversation stays respectful and civil!

[pyrettawychwiggin]

SFW Alphabet (Romantic) with Choso Kamo (From 'Jujutsu Kaisen') Gender-Neutral

Summary: this is a SFW alphabet for Choso Kamo from Jujutsu Kaisen (in the scope of a romantic, non-platonic relationship, but there are some friendship-building details scattered in here).

Paired With: gender-neutral for basically any type or gender of OC. I've kept the physical descriptors of 'yourself' to be relatively ambiguous.

Rating: GEN/TEEN — SFW - with some vague references to what could be considered mildy suggestive, but very little.

Note From The Author: I love reading these little SFW (and in some cases, NSFW) alphabets for fictional characters. It's so cool to see how others interpret the characters and how they would handle things. So here's my own rendition for one of my favourite characters from JJK (and one of my current obsessions) - Choso Kamo ♡

I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did making it!

(Image Credit - @aransmind )

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show their affection?)

Choso is highly affectionate, but at the beginning especially, he is also adorably awkward. He is very touchy-feely when it comes to you, and he'll take any chance he can get to be as close to you as possible.

Even before you'd started dating, he was always looking to find opportunities to be around you; asking if you'd be attending an event before deciding to go himself, offering to help you with anything that came up - no matter what the task was; anything to just be around you. The first time you gave him a friendly hug, he nearly melted. Even now, deep into the relationship, your touch still makes him melt. No matter what you do, he sees you as the most precious thing that must be protected and cherished at all costs, and he never lets you feel as though this isn't the case.

B = Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Choso is, unsurprisingly, a fierce best friend who will have your back regardless of the situation.

A friendship with Choso tends to be fairly awkward in the beginning. He's quite blunt with what he says, and due to his natural tone and timbre, some people can be put off by him, thinking they're boring him, or getting the impression that he doesn't like them. However, those who see beyond the tone can easily realize he actually wears his heart on his sleeve, and he is very considerate.

Once the two of you are close enough to be considered best friends, you're never not on his mind in some capacity. He's always down to spend time with you, even if it's just to relax and do nothing, he's just happy to exist around you.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Seeing as how his primary love language is physical touch, Choso is the world's biggest cuddler. He loves nothing more than being completely wrapped up in you whenever possible, and his favourite place is nestled up with you with his nose tucked into the crook of your neck where he can hear your heartbeat, feel your breath, and take in the scent of your hair.

When he's not basically wrapped around you like a freakin' python, he loves leaning against you or slinging an arm around your shoulder or waist.

His cuddles are heavy - he puts his entire weight on you. It's like having a sweet, adorable and oddly-muscular weighted blanket with you at all times.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Choso never even knew what 'settling down' meant before he met you, but even before the two of you had gotten involved with each other, he had no desire to pursue any kind of romance. Then, when the two of you 'happened,' he knew that was what he wanted his everyday to look like.

When it comes to his domestic skills, well - to be honest, they could use a little work. He never really bothered with cooking elaborate meals beyond what gave his body fuel before, so he's completely lost in a kitchen. He's willing to try and learn, but it's just never going to be a strong skill for him. Eventually, he'll have a dish or two that he can manage fairly well, but don't expect too much more than that. If you also don't really cook, it's fortunate for both of you that he is always happy with ordering in.

As for cleanliness, he's not a slob by any means, but he's not the tidiest guy. His biggest failing is that he doesn't really put things away when he's done with them; hair ties make their way into weird places, laundry finds itself on the floor beside the hamper, the bed is never really made - he just doesn't really think about these things. However, the moment he sees you start to clean up, he's on his feet and lending a hand without complaint.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Breaking up with you is something Choso would likely never do - once he's bonded to you, it's for life. However, if he did, it would be the most awkward way of doing it. He would basically ghost you. Not in the sense that he would avoid you or run away from you, he would just stop seeking you out, and if you tried to seek him out, he would be unavailable or simply say 'no thank you.'

Mainly because he's still figuring out how to navigate those social norms.

If he saw you with someone else though, even after the relationship had ended, it would make him absolutely furious - regardless of the reason why the relationship ended in the first place.

F = Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

If Choso is with you in a romantic capacity, he already sees you as end-game, and the institute of marriage was never something he was familiar with, being a curse and all. At first, he doesn't understand the concept. As far as he's concerned, being with you is as natural as breathing; there is no concept of 'future' where he is not bound to you, mind, body and soul. That being said, he's certainly not resistant to it, but he is curious about the whole concept. He learns more about it through watching movies and asking his new human friends about marriage, weddings, anniversaries, the works.

He spends months, maybe longer, working on putting together a proper proposal for you; agonizing over the details - how he'll do it, what kind of ring would look best on your finger, where he should take you - it takes him so long that you may even beat him to it.

As you'd pull out a ring and offer it to him, his eyes would widen, his cheeks flushed, and he'd let out a muffed groan as he'd hide his face in his hands. Your heart would sink at first, thinking he was about to say no when he'd pull the ring he'd been carrying for the past year or so out of his pocket, presenting to to you.

Both of you were adorably emotional in this moment, and he was even more so on the day of your actual wedding. He didn't think he could love you any more intensely than he had all this time, but he was truly overwhelmed with emotion that day.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Choso is very gentle with you. He's perfectly aware of his strength, and if he did something to hurt you, even accidentally, he'd never forgive himself for it.

You sometimes need to remind him that you're not made of glass, but it's still very endearing nonetheless.

Emotionally, he tries to be tactful, but he's used to simply saying what he needs to say, and sometimes this can come out a little blunt, or sometimes noncommittal. If he realizes he may have said something wrong though, he's always quick to apologize and attempt to clarify.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

Choso has come to enjoy hugs in general; he's not shy about hugging his friends, either. He loves to cuddle and hug you at every possible opportunity, but he's particularly clingy when it comes to you. He's especially fond of hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder.

I = "I Love You" (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Choso said it days after you'd started a romantic relationship, not realizing this was against typical social norms. In his opinion, he thought that if he felt that he loved you, there was no reason not to let it be known.

Now, he says it even more than ever - sometimes out of nowhere when he just feels the need to remind you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they get jealous?)

Choso is pretty damn jealous, actually. Once he's bonded with you, he doesn't like spending too much time away from you, and he can get jealous when your attention is focused elsewhere. He likes to make sure others are very aware that the two of you 'belong to each other' and he's not above pulling you into a shamelessly passionate kiss if he notices someone eyeing you a little too intensely.

He's also known to leave little bites on your skin in places he knows will be fairly visible, 'for no reason' he says. You get the feeling it's his way of marking his territory.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Choso's kisses were soft and uncertain at first - mainly because he didn't know what he was doing. Once he had enough....practice with you, though, they became bolder and more passionate. His hands are all over you, and he especially loves to lift you up off the ground with his strong hands, cradling your thighs to feel your legs wrap around him. It's his favourite way to kiss you.

As for how he likes to be kissed, he'll take you any way he can get you; but he loves when you wrap your arms around his neck and press your whole body against him as you kiss; he's also a big fan of tongue - maybe even a nibble or two on the lip.

Since Choso is a bit of a biter, he's a sucker for when you nibble on his ears, neck and chest - it drives him crazy in the best possible way, and it never fails to make him let out some...interesting, wonderful noises.

L = Little Ones (How are they around children?)

Choso has a knack with kids. They seem to adore him, and something about him puts them at ease. He's got a nurturing nature when it comes to kids, like the perfect 'big brother' figure.

You'll never forget the time you'd both gotten roped into babysitting your family friends' kids a day and walked into the room to find him fast asleep with a children's book still open on his lap, the kids curled up under each of his arms.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Warm and lazy, without a doubt. He sleeps in more than anyone you'd ever met, and he's a big morning cuddler. If you're a morning person and you're up and about before him, he'll come find you in a half-asleep state and carry you back to bed to wrap himself around you and doze off for another hour.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Choso are spent curled up together and doing something low-key; be it watching movies, playing video games, reading, or listening to music together. He tends to stay up late, so you usually fall asleep first. If you're not already in bed, he gently carries you there and snuggles up next to you, just holding you and appreciating the moment until he's finally ready to sleep himself.

O = Open (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or do they reveal little things slowly?)

While Choso tends to be blunt when he speaks, he's not overly chatty - so when he says something, you know he means what he says.

At first, he was fairly quiet around you. He wasn't quite sure how to process what he didn't realize was attraction at the time. He just knew that whenever you were around, his cheeks flushed, his heart raced, and he would always feel saddened when you would leave. He would silently hang on your every word, even if you were just talking in his general vicinity, and in a crowded room, his eyes would always find you.

When he started to realize what was happening he didn't know what to do with himself. The first time the two of you spent one-on-one time together was when you had been intentionally set up by Yuji and Nobara (Megumi insists he had nothing to do with it, but he certainly didn't try to dissuade them, either). Choso realized then just how much he enjoyed spending time with you, and to his surprise, you were far easier to talk to than he had built up in his head.

After that point, he opened up fairly quickly. His usual stoicism was replaced by an easy smile when you were around, he would always seek you out when he wanted advice on something, and he was always curious about your feelings on every little thing.

P = Patience (How easily are they angered?)

That all depends on the subject. His patience with you? Limitless. His patience with kids? Phenomenal. His patience when it comes to waiting for something/someone? Damn near god-tier. However, his patience when it comes to someone who is mistreating you or his friends? Non-existent. It'll send him from zero to sixty faster than you can blink.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail or forget the minor things?)

Choso can be a bit absent-minded and distracted. It's not that he doesn't care or doesn't listen - he does. However, sometimes he doesn't retain this super well.

The details about you, such as your favourite food, or you favourite movie - he has a hard time remembering. What he does remember are things like how you smell, or the feeling of your touch. He's found and memorized every scar, freckle and inch of your body, and he knows all the places to touch and kiss that make you melt. He notices the way the air changes around you when you're feeling an intense emotion, and he knows exactly what to do in those moments to support you and make you feel safe.

All in all, he may not know the kind of things that would be on a couple's quiz, but in many ways, he may know you better than you could ever realize. He's not necessarily a listener in the typical sense, but he's more of an 'emotional listener' and he's great at picking up on the things you don't say than the things you do,

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment of your relationship?)

His favourite moments are limitless, but one of his top favourites would be the first time he slept with you (not necessarily in that way - though I'm not saying it didn't happen, either). Curled up with you in his arms, snuggled in close to you against him, hearing your soft breathing (or perhaps snoring), and taking in your unmistakable scent, he could safely say he's never slept better.

And waking up beside you changed the way he looked at mornings. The rare occasions where the two of you don't spend the night with each other is nearly unbearable to him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

This man would watch the world burn to ashes if it meant keeping you safe. Choso is incredibly protective of you, and if anyone even uttered something akin to a threat with your name on their breath, well - hell hath no fury like Choso.

He'd always position his body between you and any threat that arose, and this includes verbal threats as well. He won't tolerate anyone disrespecting you. As much as he can be a sweetheart, he can flip that switch to 'scary dog privilege' real quick.

T = Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It takes a while for him to get things right - not from a lack of care or trying, but simply because he's only just started learning how to 'be human.' Many habits and customs between humans are fairly foreign to him, but once he gets the hang of things, he's incredibly thoughtful and he throws his whole heart into his efforts.

This man has so much try, and he's always looking for new ways to make you feel safe, cherished, and loved. He's determined to never, ever stop learning.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be needy and quite clingy, even possessive at times. He's not so bad as to be considered 'toxic' but he does require a fair amount of reassurance.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

The man is an enigma in this department. On one hand, he tends to be very low-effort in how much he considers what he wears; he has a style or two that he likes, and he tends to keep to the two or three outfits he's comfortable in; that includes his hair.

On the other hand, he always makes sure his hair is clean (even if he'd going for a messier style), he's pretty proud of his body's physical condition, and he's not above throwing on some eyeliner or nail polish to get the vibe he's going for.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He felt bonded to you well before the two of you became romantically involved, and much like how he felt when he lost his brothers, if something were to happen to you, it would certainly shatter a part of him, too.

He was taken aback by this at first - he thought he could feel his brothers' presence leave the mortal plane because of their shared blood, but he distinctly recalls a time you'd had nearly died in a tragic incident, and he felt it like fire in his veins. The bond he'd built with you was powerful; he knew this - but he didn't realize until then just how deep it ran. He was in a frenzied state until he managed to find you, and he refused to leave your side until you managed to stabilize and return to him. He made a promise both to you and to himself that he would never allow you to be so near death again, under any circumstances; because the thought of a lifetime without you is equal parts infuriating and unbearable.

X = X-tra (A random head-canon for them)

He low-key has a fascination with piercings and tattoos, and in time, is very likely to get a few himself. As for where, well - use your imagination. That's all I'm gonna say 👀

And tattoos and piercings on his partner? Oof - that'll have him feeling some sort of way.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

You have to get along with his brothers. You don't all have to be besties, but family is such a core part of his heart that he couldn't tolerate someone who couldn't vibe with those he loves the most.

He also doesn't like people who are overly loud and boisterous. He has no issue with someone who's chatty or talks a lot, but if they're constantly flying off the handle, raising their voice and just generally being a loud-mouth, he'd rather keep his distance and his peace.

Z = Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

For a man who seems perpetually tired, you've noticed Choso looooooves his sleep. He's a bit of a night owl, but he always likes to sleep in until noon, and he loves taking naps throughout the day.

He's a heavy sleeper, yet he's never not at least a little aware of his surroundings, even in sleep. You remember one time, you'd tried to sneak on him when he was zonked out on the couch; when you got within arm's reach, he yanked you down onto the couch with him and snuggled his nose into the crook of your neck.

"Nice try..." He mumbled. Before you could answer, he had already fallen back asleep again.

He's also a very quiet sleeper. No snoring, no tossing or turning; just the soft sound of his deep breaths with the rise and fall of his chest. He's also a big bedtime snuggler, and if you'll let him hold you all throughout the night, he's happy as can be.

(Image Credit - Arekushisu_11)

That's all, folks! Thanks for reading. See you next time! ♡

~ Pyretta Wychwiggin

[dragonologist-phd]

On the subject of character development being locked behind romances, I really think more people should at least initiate the Queen Galfrey romance bc so many of her best scenes are locked behind it and even just the early scenes add so much for her character

So for some context- the first time I played through pwotr, I didn’t go in with a definite romance in mind and just let my character flirt with whoever. I ended up taking some flirt options with Galfrey in Act 2, then deciding to romance Arueshalae once I got to Act 3.

But since I had triggered Galfrey’s romance, I got her Drezen scene before the final Act 3 battle. And it was so good!! She talked about how torn she felt between her duty as a Queen and her fondness for the Commander, and how much she struggled with the demands of her position, and how she felt like she didn’t even belong to herself because she had to belong to her goddess and her kingdom first

It was great! And when she exiled the Commander at the end of Act 3, the sense of betrayal hit that much harder! I didn’t see it as fully romantic for my character, but the betrayal of someone she saw as a friend was still really impactful

And I was really disappointed when I realized that if you don’t flirt with her, that conversation doesn’t happen at all. And on one hand, I kinda get it- they were clearly implying that she doesn’t open up to people easily and it takes a lot for her to confess this stuff, and maybe they just didn’t have time to make a friendship route for a character who’s not actually a full companion. But man I wish they had, because there’s no reason a close friendship with Galfrey couldn’t have been as impactful as romance

(I also think a KC who continued to ally with Galfrey after Iz should have gotten part of her Dance of Masks appearance but that’s another tangent)

Anyway. This is just my long, rambling argument that more people should flirt with Galfrey and get that Drezen scene. It won’t mess up other romances, there’s not even a breakup scene if you decide not to pursue her, and it really adds a lot to her character!

[liminalgrave28]

Cannon Character Info

Okay okay I know I’m posting back to back but I couldn’t help but want to share this publicly I wrote these not too long ago and I was like I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER I need the public to be insane about them too PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Also enjoy the extra art some of it is the same but I added some extra!

︶︶Jewelus

Jewelus has vampire like tendencies: but they work in a sense of Jewelus needing to feed on small jewels or decorated accessories to feed his need to eat, although he can eat normal food he prefers jewels they taste much sweeter and satisfying to him over actual food

Very close friends with Posey, they usually hang out together and share any drama they’ve heard while they’ve been busy or working.

Has a key that does unlock his head but if it were to be opened you’d find nothing because it is empty, if asked about it Jewelus would only reply “Secrets simply must stay hidden my dear..”

Jewelus has a small crush on a member of the cast but refuses to tell anyone even his closest friend posey

Out of everyone he’s the most honest about others cooking which leads to peeps constantly asking him to try his new marshmallow sweets recipes.

Has a like for learning facts about others which he writes them all down in a personal diary like notebook to remember this information he has on everyone

Out of everyone Jewelus is said to be the most strict which can be easily shown when he’s advised plans for daily chores or activities with the pods

Jewelus actual job includes being a tailor for others He's the one who designed everyone’s outfits for special occasions or even events he is even known to help young pods with their outfits as well.

Jewelus has a knack for showing others personality in their clothes he’s always been able to look and get to know others by small conversations and been able to absolutely let their clothes do the talking when designing them

Jewelus and buttercup can often be seen sharing early morning Tea together they always schedule them super early so that they can enjoy the sunrise together

︶︶Rosie Posey

Posey is known to be a drag queen within the casting of characters and is quite popular in both the queer and female communities

Posey’s closet friend is both Jewelus and Buttercup they've known each other for since the beginning of their existence and were there to support posey

Posey is known for his confidence in self imagery and being supportive of his friends!

Posey uses both she/her and he/him pronouns but the most common are she/her this is cause it’s the most preferred for posey

Although Posey has joined the top business in being a drag queen, she was also once a weather reporter! She’d share all the topics of how the seasons could possibly affect the weather.

Posey is now a very well known model this helped her truly gain fans and attention rather quickly it grew even more when posey started releasing merchandise.

This rose shares a title with their younger sibling who’s a drag king! His name is Bloom, he's a yellow rose they’re almost twins if it weren’t for Posey being red instead!

Posey is not only just a model but she also has a side gig in singing. Sometimes she’ll come to certain small business places to share her voice on stage!

In her free time Posey will spend it indulging herself in self care and even a nice series to play on tv she’ll surprisingly watch a lot of calming gardening shows as much as she loves to share drama even she needs a break from it.

This rose also has a small knack for going out on an early morning jog. Sometimes she'll invite Buttercup to join her; she enjoys listening to Buttercup while they jog. He's the best conversation keeper!

If posey were asked about any personal hobbies she takes part in she may say “singing” but her real small hobby is making small jewelry gifts for her friends in fact a lot of her jewelry was made by her not all of it though since big business love to send her free jewelry to advertise for their business!

If it weren’t for posey Jewelus' tailoring business wouldn’t have taken off the way it did. She's always wearing his work and says “she couldn’t find a better tailor and best friend.” she was happy to celebrate his take off and couldn’t be more proud of Jewelus

︶︶Cumulus Forecast

Cumulus is the weather reporter for the studio; he's known to be very outgoing when the camera is placed on him and isn’t much of a fan of sharing the spotlight!

Posey and cumulus were once work colleagues cumulus running weather and posey sharing information on the season’s and how they may affect the upcoming weather

Cumulus wasn’t always outgoing; he used to be very low spoken and a lot less confident in himself and his natural talent!

It’s unsaid as to what caused the falling out between cumulus and posey but the most that was known is that it led to A cut live videoing of the weather station.

Cumulus has the ability to change his head responding to his emotions. Sometimes it isn’t as obvious especially if he’s holding back the most that may change is his face turning from white to a darker shade of gray.

If asked about family cumulus might not say much he’ll just say he’s got a lot of cousins,brothers, and sisters “it’s so much family they take up the sky!” He’d say!

Cumulus has a special place in his heart for his cousin starry. As annoying as he can find starry sometimes, he’s always looking out for him and able to give advice to his cousin for his tv show. working within the same studio as him brings a lot of life to it.

His attitude is said to have a very thundering boom to it the only person who's seen him so upset is posey!

Cumulus is known to be the baby of his family. His brother Flare is much older than him. They don’t speak to each other much but when they do it somehow ends up being competitive.

Cumulus’s closet friend is the sports lover herself T.T they’re always chatting while T.T is busy playing a sport of any kind she’s a wonderful multitasker!

︶︶T.T/Top.Tier

T.T is an outstanding sports loving prize winning ribbon! She absolutely loves working hard within the sports community to prove to others you can master anything with hard work!

T.T is known to be seen as coach at just about any sport whenever she’s seen working

T.T is known to be Flare's girlfriend. She's absolutely head over heels for him and would run around Saturn twice for him!

T.T is the type to be very strict about bad sportsmanship she wants everyone to have fun and enjoy the game so she will absolutely stand her ground if she sees anyone being rowdy or even destructive during a sports game

If T.T was put into a situation of conflict between teams she'd definitely have both the conflicting members sit out for the time being to cool off and then return to each other and talk it out with her guidance and supervision after hearing both sides' problems.

T.T is trained to handle some medical injuries but if they’re too serious the local doctor (Caplet) will quickly run in to take over if things are beyond what T.T can do.

T.T is a very strong Woman she’s often seen carrying around her rather tall boyfriend flare in excitement! She’s the perfect one to go to for a quick fix on your back pain!

If a player were to be injured and was begging to go back out T.T would absolutely not allow it and would have them sent to caplet immediately she’d never forgive herself if a player got hurt with her knowing the situation beforehand.

T.T’s been in the sports game for a while so she can sniff out when someone’s not telling the truth about their check up slips especially if the handwriting is forged and they obviously aren’t doing their greatest keeping in mind that their parents told her beforehand.

Interactions with T.T are always super positive and very encouraging. She can be very loud, supportive, even helpful. She's happy to be there for a friend in need for example cumulus who she’ll happily hear all the work place drama from!

T.T is a strict healthcare person; she's always on cumulus and flare about the caffeine they take in! She also makes sure they drink water. She's always got a bottle or 2 on her. She loves to share health advice when asked and even makes sure her friends are in tip top shape for the day even if they don’t do sports!

If T.T is up and early,flare is stuck in bed. Sometimes she’ll let it slide and join him and call it a lazy day! But usually she’ll pick him up and carry him from the bed ending in the bed frame being dragged too.

T.T isn’t a big showbiz person; she's always loved the freedom to get to love and enjoy what she does, especially being her own coach! She can work with the team if need be but usually T.T is seen as a good leader in certain situations!

[martian-hermit]

On the topic of The Bear again, the more I learn about Carmy, the more I find myself relating to him in multiple ways. I recognize that isn’t necessarily a good thing, but interesting to talk about regardless.

The most relatable thing about Carmy for me is the fact that he is apprehensive about allowing himself to enjoy things or indulge in anything fun because he’s scared of it being ruined. While it’s super depressing, it’s unfortunately an extremely relatable part of his character. The saying “all good things must come to an end,” once being words of wisdom eventually became a warning to me because of a lot of enjoyable things in my life being tainted or entirely destroyed has caused a sort of subconscious apprehension to joy. Obviously Carmy’s reasons for this and mine are different but the overarching idea is the same, I can’t allow myself to enjoy something because it’ll end horribly anyway. What’s worse is the effect that has on relationships of any kind. Simply withholding the feeling of happiness from yourself really shows to other people, and it’s a guaranteed way to end any relationship (platonic or otherwise) you ever have. It’s happened plenty of times, and it’s self sabotage, but you ultimately continue doing it because you feel safer.

Next major point of relatability I have to Carmy is his extreme awkwardness. He is exceedingly bad at articulating his emotions and even worse at conveying how he feels to people if he allows himself to do so at all. With all that, he usually just stays quiet. This is a part of his personality I unfortunately possess as well. My inability to convey my thoughts or emotions to people effectively leads me to simply avoid doing so entirely, and the way I talk to people often comes off as dismissive because I am absolutely horrible in conversation. The biggest consequence of having a major character flaw like this is that you often internalize everything, from every thought you couldn’t pitch in conversation to all of the things you bottle up despite desperately wanting to connect with people, you’re prone to outbursts. Thankfully mine are nowhere near as drastic as Carmy’s, but they definitely exist. While it could be cathartic in the moment, it’s absolutely devastating to see the effects afterward.

Lastly, it’s not as specific as the others above, but it’s more about the general state of Carmy’s social life and why I feel for him because I’ve got a similar issue. Carmy’s stated in the show that he never had relationships and he just had less and less friends as time went on, which hits extremely close to home for me. While I have had a relationship in the past and that’s not the same between Carmy and me, the having less friends over time is absolutely true. It’s a pretty typical experience to have short lived friend groups throughout school, but you still have friends regardless. Most people graduate and still have friends from high school or college that they keep around, and sometimes make friends through mutual friends or through work. I used to have friends, but over time my group got smaller and smaller until there was no one. As Carmy states at Al-anon, “the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got.” Only difference is I didn’t cut people out, but they cut me out, which is devastating. On top of all that, Carmy ruins his relationship with Claire because of his rambling about how he thinks their relationship was a waste of time. Sometimes I feel the same way about the last person I was genuinely interested in being around, but mostly regretful about ruining it. Ultimately, another really shitty aspect of Carmy’s character that I unfortunately relate to deeply.

I think the relatability of his character is one of the biggest reasons why I really loved the show. And despite Carmy often being a complete ass, I still root for him a lot. Because I don’t wanna see him worse off or to fail because if I can see him succeed, it feels like encouragement, like someone’s telling me “if someone you relate to and are similar to can improve and succeed, so can you.” It’s really powerful stuff, especially when you listen to his monologue. You feel for him, and if you’re unfortunate, you relate to him. And maybe that’s why Carmy is one of the most influential characters in fiction I’ve ever seen. It’s because there’s multiple parts of his character that I have personally. I felt called out by some of the shortcomings Carmy has, and that was a huge wake up call.